QNotes, Dec. 4-17, 2015

Dec. 4-17 . 2015

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Dec. 4-17 . 2015

inside

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Buddy Nielsen + Senses Fail Charlotte bound!

qnotes news & features

news. views. arts.

4 entertainment.

NCAA reconsidering city hosts

5 Charlotte Pride: Growing pains?

6 News Notes: Regional Briefs 8 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs

a&e / life&style 9 Open mind, heart during holidays 10 Religious events

Hard-core, heavy metal band set to play at Amos’ Southend page 13.

11 MCC Charlotte seeks volunteers 12 Fourth Ward Holiday Tour 13 Buddy Nielsen and Senses Fail 14 Dating app safety & tips 17 Tell Trinity 18 Q Events Calendar 19 Health & Wellness

these stories and more in our religious events issue >

MCC Charlotte settles into new space Church seeks volunteers for board, committees.

It also gets coaching on sound system. more: url

Online dating presents challenges to users Safety issues, stalking and hacking — just be prepared for what’s ahead. Plus, tips to keep safety front and center. page 14

Dec. 4-17 . 2015

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NCAA reconsidering non-LGBT-friendly host cities Could affect the Carolinas

by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes staff The National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) says they are rethinking their tournament host cities, looking to avoid holding events in locations with poor LGBT laws and policies.

This comes in the wake of controversies around the NCAA’s men’s Final Fours taking place in Indianapolis, Ind., earlier this year and in Houston, Texas, next spring. Indiana passed Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) legislation, a law allowing business owners to refuse service to gay customers and Houston voters recently overturned their city’s LGBT non-discrimination ordinance, Houston Equal Rights Ordinance, known as HERO. The RFRA laws in Indiana provoked a response from NCAA President Mark Emmert.

“We’re very serious about our core values and we want to make sure we can operate in an environment that is supportive of those values, so this is a very serious issue for us,” Emmert said in an interview with ESPN. The NCAA, which is headquartered in Indianapolis, Ind., also released a statement saying they would “closely examine the implications” of the law.

They are once again reiterating the importance of equality in deciding their future

Peyton Siva hoists Louisville’s NCAA championship trophy in 2013..

Photo Credit: Adam Glanzman, Michigan Daily. CC 2.O license.

tournament locations, although they have already said that they will not move the Final Four scheduled for Houston, Texas, in the spring.

“We’ll continue to review current events in all cities bidding on NCAA championships and events, as well as cities that have already been named as future host sites, such as Indianapolis,” Bob Williams, NCAA senior vice president for communications, told the Indianapolis Star in an email earlier in November.

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In the Carolinas There are no statewide protections prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity for both public and private employees in either North Carolina or South Carolina.

The news out of the NCAA should put added pressure to adopt better, more inclusive laws protecting LGBT individuals.

An LGBT non-discrimination ordinance effort failed to pass earlier this year in Charlotte, N.C., but it is expected to come up for another vote with a more supportive city council now in place. Evidence that not creating a more inclu-

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Dec. 4-17 . 2015

sive city is bad for business should help add to the momentum to get the ordinance passed this time around.

The Central Intercollegiate Athletic Association (CIAA) signed a six-year contract in September of last year to keep the basketball tournament in Charlotte, N.C. The event, which has taken place in the Queen City for years, has a huge economic impact, bringing in tens of millions of dollars each year. The CIAA also plans to move their headquarters to the city from its current home in Hampton, Va. Charlotte has also been tapped to host first and second round NCAA Division I men’s basketball games leading up to the Final Four, to be held at Time Warner Cable Arena in 2018. Raleigh, N.C., is scheduled to host first and second round games in 2016, as is Greensboro, N.C., in 2017.

In 2019, the Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC) Men’s Basketball Tournament is to be held in Charlotte, N.C. In 2020, it is set to take place in Greensboro, N.C. Greensboro became the first city in North Carolina to pass an ordinance prohibiting antiLGBT discrimination in housing in January. : :

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Charlotte Pride: Growing pains?

Board adopts new structure amid controversy over lost members

by Jeff Taylor, qnotes staff with research and reporting assistance by Chris Tittel, qnotes contributor being transparent and we demanded it of the LGBT Community Center [of Charlotte]. I think Charlotte Pride needs to look at their internal issues before they end up like the LGBT Community Center.”

Hill told qnotes he resigned in June.

Hill says problems he was experiencing occurred after throwing his support to Grimstad’s re-election campaign opponent Paul Kelly. When the vote was split, advisors were brought in, according to Hill, who says they [the advisors] recommended Grimstad remain as co-director. “We implemented a directorelect position in order to Charlotte Pride: 2 in, 2 out. assist in training for new (left to right) Co-Chairs Craig Hopkins, Richard Grimstad with former Entertainment Chair leaders stepping up when Jonathan Hill and former Co-Director and Parade Chair Dave Webb in year’s past. one of our two co-directors roll out of their leadership Charlotte Pride role,” Grimstad said. switches to and capacity of a governing board of directors Kelly assumed that new position. governing board structure and the creation of new volunteer engagement Hill further claims that the advisors were This growth has resulted in Charlotte Pride opportunities for community members,” said “hand-picked” by Grimstand and Hopkins. transitioning from an operating board to a co-director Craig Hopkins on a post published While it was Hill who originally recruited governing board structure. on Charlotte Pride Scribe, the official blog of Grimstad onto the board when he was serving “Charlotte Pride has been pleased with our Charlotte Pride, found at charlottepride.org. as co-chair, he says he became concerned phenomenal growth over the very short span “Charlotte Pride’s transitional board about Grimstad’s management style and felt of just three years,” Grimstad told qnotes by includes co-directors Grimstad and Craig Kelly might be a better option. Hill claims that email. “We are committed to a forward path Hopkins, as well as board members Gwen Grimstad seemed to take this personally and that will see our transition from an operating Pearson, Matt Comer, Jeff Sampson and Marc that from that point forward it was difficult to board to a governing board and other strucAlexander. These board members will work impossible to communicate with him. tural changes.” with the organization’s advisors and consulHill also claims Grimstad and Hopkins told Grimstad said the transition, necessary for tants in transitioning to the governing board, the board he was not communicating properly the sustained growth of the organization, has guided by best practice standards and stratewith the co-directors and therefore wasn’t dobeen in discussion for several years in board gies.” It goes on to say, “Charlotte Pride will ing his job, which he says is not accurate. development meetings and retreats. be engaging community members in several Charlotte Pride largely disagrees with this “This is a natural evolution for a growing outreach efforts.” assessment. They did, however, confirm the non-profit organization,” he said. “This deciresponsibility of selection the advisors. sion is informed by best practice standards Board members exiting Pride “Like many other positions, advisors are of organizations of our type, size and growth It is not uncommon for a board to lose appointed by the co-directors,” said Media stage. This kind of move is necessary for future members over time, and Charlotte Pride & Marketing Chair Matt Comer in an email to growth, including fundraising, donor relations, has certainly not been immune qnotes, who added that they have not been the potential hiring of staff and volunteer enfrom this phenomenon in recent responsible in helping to choose leadership. gagement. Our membership in InterPride months, with some suggesting “Any board member has the ability to identify, has allowed us to have converthat the departures are coming at suggest and recruit individuals for the advisory sations with other Pride an unusually quick pace. board. In the past, many individual advisors organizations similar “[Resignations are not] have come at the recommendation of other to our size who have uncommon at the end of our program members of the advisory board.” gone through similar year,” Grimstad added. “The reasons given The three advisors, which Comer identifies transitions. These conwere largely personal and related to other as “non-profit professionals and consultants versations are helping to commitments or a desire to take a break [with] a wealth of knowledge on organizational inform our plans. Many after a number of years of working best practices and governance” currently organizations transition on the festival.” assisting the board are Rosalyn Allison-Jacobs, from founding boards and A follow-up email to Steve Bentley and Tracy Russ. operating boards to governing Grimstad asking how many “The advisors were asked to assist in our board structures.” board members have left over the annual event recap on Aug. 27, 2014 and to help “Charlotte Pride has been past year was not returned. us set goals and next steps for the future,” Comer managed by an all-volunteer On Nov. 17, Former Entertainment continued. “At a later meeting on Oct. 1, 2014, operating board and commitCommittee Chair Jonathan Hill posted the Richard Grimstad was re-elected by the board tees overseeing the day-to-day operations of following status to his personal Facebook page: to a term as co-director. As with Grimstad’s the organization. These volunteers have put “I have decided to break my silence on election in 2014, most of our leadership selecin countless hours and dedication to make Charlotte Pride. Charlotte Pride announced tions have been made with the overwhelming Charlotte Pride the successful organizatoday that they are ‘transitioning’ to a majority or unanimous support of the board. tion it is today. Our transition builds on these governing board. What they failed to tell you strengths. We know that our future success is that 9 [board members] resigned this year will be guaranteed by the increased efficiency including myself. The directors talk about see Charlotte Pride on 15 Charlotte Pride has grown year after year at a remarkable rate, quickly becoming one of the city’s largest festivals. A study commissioned by the Charlotte Regional Visitors Authority (CRVA) found that the 2014 festival and parade added over $7.75 million in total economic impact from out-of-town visitors, including just shy of $2.5 million in labor income.

According to Charlotte Pride’s annual report for 2014, last year’s festival earned $287,169 in program services and $99,024 in contributions, grants and “other income” for a total of $386,193 in overall revenue.

This year’s Pride was bigger still, drawing an estimated 120,000 attendees.

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qnotes connect Dec. 4-17, 2015 Vol 30 No 16

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue Jack Kirven, Holly Maholm, Lainey Millen, Gregg Shapiro, Jeff Taylor, Chris Tittel, Trinity

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The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues.

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen

Pride art piece revealed

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — On Nov. 11, artist Edwin Gil’s “Paint Your Piece of Pride” was unveiled at Charlotte Pride’s annual sponsor appreciation event held at the Levine Museum of the New South.

The work consists of six canvas panels, each bearing one color of the rainbow and depicting one of six iconic buildings in the Charlotte, N.C., skyline, the organization shared.

A project funded by the Arts & Science Council and the North Carolina Arts Council, it was painted by thousands of individuals who attended the 2015 Charlotte Pride Festival from Aug. 15-16. The “individual additions and creations on the canvas make the pieces genuinely unique and captivating,” Charlotte Pride added.

The piece will be on display at the Pride offices where it will join a 2014 large-scaled, glasstiled mural entitled “Face of Pride,” previously done by Gil. info: charlottepride.org.

Charlotte Fun-draiser slated

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — A fundraiser for Time Out Youth Center, 2320 N. Davidson St., will be held on Dec. 6, 1-8 p.m., at Hattie’s Tap and Tavern, 2918 The Plaza.

The second annual event is filled with camaraderie and the Carolina Panthers’ game watch against the New Orleans Saints. Enjoy drink specials and cheer on the “home boys.”

After the game, stay to listen to music by bands.

Attendees are asked to bring a contribution in lieu of a door charge. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Tree memorial honors DV victims

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — On Dec. 8, 5:30 p.m., the community is invited to participate in the Domestic Violence Memorial Tree ceremony at Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department Headquarters, Main Lobby, 601 E. Trade St. Hosted by the county’s Community Support Services in partnership with the CharlotteMecklenburg Police Department, the Domestic Violence Speakers Bureau and the Domestic Violence Advocacy Council, this is the 11th annual observance.

Those who have lost loved ones and friends to domestic violence can honor them with pictures, poems, news articles, flowers, etc., placing these items near the tree for all to appreciate, organizers said. Attendance is free and open to the public.

The tree will be on display until Jan. 2, 2016.

As of Nov. 24, there are 45 statewide victims. They will be remembered during the event by placement of 45 ribbons on the tree by attendees. Closing ceremony will include lighting of the tree.

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Since 2002, there have been 101 DVrelated homicides in the county. For information or support, call 704-336-3210 or contact the Safe Alliance DV Shelter 24-hour hotline at 704-332-2513.

The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs released its 2014 “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer and HIV-Affected Intimate Partner Violence in 2014” report this fall that said: • For a fourth year in a row cisgender men killed by their male partners were most impacted by intimate partner violence (IPV) homicide.

• LGBT and HIV-affected communities of color, bisexual survivors, transgender communities and cisgender male survivors were uniquely and disproportionately impacted by IPV. • LGBT and HIV-affected survivors on public assistance were more likely to face physical violence and injury as a result of IPV. • A higher percentage of LGBT and HIVaffected survivors of IPV attempted to access the police, courts and domestic violence shelters for support compared to previous years. info: char-meck.gov. safealliance.org. projectrainbownet.org. nccadv.org. avp.org. rainbow.mrgdesign.com.

Chamber rings in holiday season

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (CLGBTCC) will hold its “Oh What Fun!” annual meeting and holiday party on Dec. 8, 6:30 p.m., at Sugar Creek Brewing Company, 215 Southside Dr. This is the 23rd annual meeting which brings area professionals together to mix, mingle and dance. This year has been especially monumental for the organization as it moved to a new era as a chamber instead of a guild.

Lana Cane will serve as the emcee. Enjoy a cash bar, complimentary hors d’oeuvres and

live entertainment by Arron Malachi and Veda Convington, as well as music by DJ Little Betty.

At the end of the evening’s festivities, an election of officers for 2016-18 terms will take place. Additionally, long-time advocate and ally Barbara Green will be remembered for her contributions to the community and the chamber.

“This is an exciting year for the Chamber,” said Chad Turner, president. “We have a waiting list of those asking to serve on our board and become a part of what our organization is doing within our city. This year’s slate of candidates includes business owners and professionals from the trans, Latino, black and straight communities. As we have branded the CLGBTCC and built a broad membership, we have created an atmosphere where everyone feels welcomed and also driven to serve within the organization. It was our goal to move forward with offering those within our membership to step up and be nominated or volunteer to run for leadership offices without prompting,” he added. CLGBTCC encourages and works within a model of board diversity, representing the community it serves.

The chamber encourages companies and organizations to do a board self-assessment to determine if the leadership embraces inclusivity and combats discrimination. It will provide assistance to those who wish to pursue this endeavor.

Admission is free and open to members and non-members. Attendees are asked to bring a $10 Food Lion gift card to be given to Time Out Youth Center to assist with those youth that are displaced and need toiletries and food through the winter season.

Catering for the event will be supplied

by Nate Turner and Your Custom Catering & Events. info/rsvp: clgbtcc.org. facebook.com/ events/979397322102927.

ASO collects for kids

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Different Roads Home (DRH), 2320 N. Davidson St., is helping to make the holiday season brighter for area children who have been been affected and effected by HIV/AIDS and other chronic diseases.

The organization has launched its Holiday Bear Program, with a portion of the proceeds going to help fund DRH’s support services.

Bears are $20/1, $50/3 and $100/7. After order placement, the gifts will be delivered to those in need. Contributors have the option to have DRH send the bear to a specific address or to one of their clients. Those shipped outside the Charlotte, N.C. area garner an additional $5/ bear shipping and handling fee.

Email DRH at tshellito@differentroadshome. org to obtain a form. info: differentroadshome.org.

Theatre holds play fest

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Fourth Annual nuVoices Festival will be held from Jan. 10-17, 2016, at Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte, Four plays will be showcased and were selected from over 400 entries.

The theatre is providing artistic residence to the playwrights as they workshop their plays with local actors and directors. It will culminate in a two hand-in-script public readings presentation of their work.

This year’s plays include Reginald Edmund’s “The Daughters of The Moon,” Meridith Friedman’s “The Luckiest People,” David Valdes Greenwood’s “The Mermaid Hour,” and Matthew Wells’ “Beautiful Day.” One of the plays has an LGBT storyline.

Greenwood’s “Mermaid” play tells the story of

working-class parents Pilar and Bird who try to navigate their tween daughter’s gender transition, while she rocks her first crush, discovers the power of the internet and decides they are not moving fast enough to keep up, Actor’s Theatre shared.

Greenwood has staged his plays across the globe. “Mermaid” was commissioned as part of the Sloan Project at Ensemble Studio Theatre in New York, N.Y. Auditions will be held on Dec. 5. Visit the theatre’s website to learn more.

An $80,000 Knight Foundation grant has allowed nuVoices to include “Public Good.”

“Public Good,” a new play commissioned

by Actor’s Theatre about the history of the Eugenics Board of North Carolina, will hold its first public development process. Alexandra Bassett, general manager of Rude Mechs of Austin, serves as the lead collaborator organizing a group of local playwrights in the creation of the work. Audiences will be invited to lend their voices and experiences to this unique project. More information is available online. info: atcharlotte.org.

‘Witches’ stir up benefit brew

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — On Jan. 25, 7:30 p.m., “Witches’ Night Off” will be held at McGlohon Theatre at Spirit Square, 345 N. College St. The Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN), Blumenthal Performing Arts and members of the National Touring Company of “Wicked” will serve as hosts for this evening of song and dance. Net proceeds benefits Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS (BC/EFA).

Promoters said that “Witches’” will be produced by company members of “Wicked’” and the evening is an opportunity for them to step out of their roles in the musical and kick up their heels performing some of their favorite non-Ozian material. The production is part of an ongoing series of performances by the touring company to support charitable causes. The “Wicked”-Munchkinland Tour has raised over $3.7 million in donations for BC/EFA and local AIDS service organizations all over the country.

The event also includes a live auction which features opportunities to join the company backstage at Ovens Auditorium; watch the “greenifying” of Oz’s “most famous lady; seating in the pit with the orchestra; and a walk-on role (complete with make up and Tony Award-winning costume) in three scenes.

Tickets are $35/general and $100/VIP and are available online, at the box office or via phone at 704-372-1000. Purchase is tax deductible.

VIP admission includes a pre-sow reception with cast members from 6-7 p.m. and preferred seating.

The full performance will be held from Jan. 6-31, 2016 (Tuesday-Thursday, 7:30 p.m.; Friday-Saturday, 8 p.m.; Saturday matinee, 2 p.m.; Sunday, 1 p.m.and 6:30 p.m.) and a special matinee on Jan. 7 at 2 p.m. info/tickets: blumenthalarts.org. witchesnightoff.org,

Triad ‘Trailer Park’ comes to Triad

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. — Theatre Alliance, 1047 Northwest Blvd., is mounting “The Great American Trailer Park Christmas Musical” during the month of December.

This campy production tells the story of Armadillo Acres, a mobile-living community in northern Florida during the Christmas season.

When a freak bout of amnesia strikes the trailer park Scrooge, neighborly love is put to

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the test. This companion to the original “Great American Trailer Park Musical” is loaded with cat-fightin’, sun-worshippin’, chair-throwin’ good times — but with tinsel and Keg Nog. The production is directed by Jamie Lawson and musically directed by Tommy Jackson. The cast features Jaye Pierce, Ken Ashford, Linda Shillito, Michele Groneck, Kaylee Gonzalez and Gray Smith. Music and lyrics are by David Nehls. The book was written

by Betsy Kelso.

Director Jamie Lawson shared, “Rarely does a sequel surpass the original in humor and creativity, but I think the writers of ‘The Great American Trailer Park Christmas Musical’ have struck gold. With the addition of some new characters and hysterical one-liners and outrageous situations, this show is destined to become a campy hit!”

Performance dates and times are Dec. 4-5, 10-12, 17-19, 8 p.m.; and Dec. 6, 13 and 30, 2 p.m.

Tickets are $18/adult, $16/students with ID and seniors. A $2 discount will be applied to groups of 10 or more. They can be purchased at the theatre box office on Fridays from 12:30-3 p.m., online or by calling Brown Paper Tickets at 800-838-3006. Student rush tickets are available five minutes before each performance once seats have been released for $14. ID is required. info: wstheatrealliance.org.

Tree fundraiser opened

GREENSBORO, N.C. — Fred and Dot Wagoner Christmas Trees, 2701 Lawndale Dr., is now open for business and is selling trees, wreaths, bows and centerpiece arrangements, as well as ivy topiaries and more.

Shoppers can use a contribution coupon (seen here; must be presented at time of sale) toward the purchase of $50 or more of goods.

The owners will then gift back $5 toward the Guilford Green Foundation, 201 S. Elm St., as a fundraising opportunity. info: ggfnc.org.

Triangle

Participants can dedicate a Christmas ornament in honor of a loved one, or can purchase one for personal use. During December the pieces will adorn the nine-foot tree at the church. Decorate the item for $5 or have a church volunteer do it for $7.

All proceeds go toward the growth of the church and its ministries. info: imanimcc.org.

Bianca is in the house

Coalition hosts holiday soirée

RALEIGH, N.C. — Join “RuPaul’s Drag Race” winner Bianca del Rio as she stars in and hosts the Pardon Moi French Drag Me to Lunch VII on Dec. 5, 11 a.m., at the Sheraton Raleigh Hotel, Hannover Ball Room, 421 S. Salisbury St. The event is a benefit for the LGBT Center of Raleigh, 324 S. Harrington St. Joining del Rio as co-hosts are Candis Cox and Brian French.

Performances during the fundraiser include those by Lindsay Starr, Chloe Cassidy, Alexandra Vittz, Dana St. James and Ivory Winters. Music will be provided by DJ Jermainia.

Tickets range from $35 to $900 depending upon package purchased. Visit the website to learn more. Sales end at 8 a.m. on Dec. 5. Use LGBT promo code to save 15 percent. info: ticketor.com/DragMeToLunch. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

Ornament fundraiser ongoing

DURHAM, N.C. — Imani Metropolitan Community Church of Durham, 3602 C-View St., is engaged in decorating tree ornaments as a fundraiser for the church.

RALEIGH, N.C. — The North Carolina Harm Reduction Coalition will hold its holiday party on Dec. 18, 6 p.m., at The Pour House Music Hall, 224 S. Blount St. Deck out in an ugly holiday sweater and practice singing for a karaoke showdown. Door prizes will be given to the ugliest sweater around.

Afterward, head over to the Landmark Tavern, 117 E. Hargett St., for an after-party.

Tickets are $15 via check to NC Harm Reduction Coalition, P.O. Box13761, Durham, NC 27709 or via PayPal for $20 which includes a processing fee.

Contributions are also available for tickets on a sliding scale. info/rsvp: bit.ly/1l1uctR.

Lewis gets Peace First award

CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — Brennan Lewis, a freshman at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill was awarded one of five Peace First Prizes from the national Peace First nonprofit organization in October. He will receive

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a two-year, $25,000 fellowship to further his peacemaking initiative.

Lewis, an Apex, N.C. native who uses “they” and “them” when referring to themself, helped to co-found Queer NC as a freshman at Enloe High School, the Raleigh News & Observer reported.

The News & Observer also reported that Queer NC is a student-led group aimed at reaching out to gay, lesbian, transgender and other teens statewide whose identity falls outside biological sex. Four years later, the group has attracted 500 people to its Facebook page and drawn teens from as far as Beaufort County to its meet-ups and dances. Every summer, nearly 100 teens attend a leadership camp in Greensboro, N.C. Brennan’s work with Queer NC came as a response to a growing need to find something tangible to do outside the norm, especially for an LGBT student who is already battling acceptance.

“We are constantly telling young people that when they grow up, they can change the world. But why wait? Our prize winners understand that young people can be just as effective as adults in leading positive change in our society,” stated Eric D. Dawson, president and co-founder of Peace First. “These young people are part of a larger movement to be the change they want to

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Dec. 4-17 . 2015

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news notes: u.s./world compiled by Chris Tittel :: qnotes contributor

Dorothy’s dress snags $1.56 million The famous blue and white gingham dress worn by Judy Garland in “The Wizard of Oz” was sold at auction on Nov. 23 for $1.56 million.

The buyer was not identified.

The dress was expected to bring $800,000 to $1.2 million and was described as “bearing sweat stains around the neck.”

Surprisingly, Garland’s dress is not the most expensive “Wizard of Oz” memorabilia sold at auction. Bert Lahr’s Cowardly Lion costume brought in a hefty $3.1 million last year.

Garland’s dress was one of 10 made for

the movie.

The Smithsonian National Museum of American History owns Dorothy’s ruby slippers.

The exhibit is one of the most popular in the museum’s collection.

[Ed. Note: Garland has long been considered a gay icon and the slang “Friend of Dorothy” in years past became a code phrase used to identify one another as gay or lesbian.]

— LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes media partner

Mayor, police respond to attacks in Dallas gayborhood

Additionally, a group of “roughly a half dozen” officers have been assigned to the area instead of patrolling a larger beat.

On Nov. 20, Mayor Mike Rawlings also went door-to-door to help assure residents he is doing his best to address the issue and to let them know CrimeStoppers has increased its reward for information in the attacks from $5,000 to $10,000.

So far, there are still no leads on suspects in any of the assaults.

— LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes media partner

A neighborhood in Dallas has been put on police lockdown after a dozen violent hate crimes against gay men and several robberies were reported.

The city’s Oak Lawn gayborhood has seen a frightening uptick in antigay bashings in recent months.

On Nov. 19, Geoffrey Hubbard became at least the 12th victim in three months of an antigay hate crime when he was bashed in the skull with a rock while walking to a friend’s house.

Rally for Change, a local organization, has been demanding increased police presence and better protection in the area for months.

“Survivors have been beaten with bats, stabbed with box cutters, pistol whipped and pummeled with fists,” the organization said in a statement. “In several of these attacks, homophobic language has been used by the assailants.”

The statement continued: “For weeks DPD [Dallas Police Department] has promised an increased presence in the neighborhood. When pushed on the fact that such an increase has been spotty and largely invisible, DPD has pointed to officer shortages and has now even suggested that the protection provided by our tax dollars is not enough and that we should pay for expanded patrols by off-duty officers.”

In response to the most recent attack, the city is finally taking action. Oak Lawn has been put on “lockdown,” with police encouraging residents to be cautious and “take care of each other.”

‘Zoolander 2’ no model for androgyny

Hitting theaters in February 2016, “Zoolander 2” has been long awaited by fans of the goofy original — but its new trailer isn’t sitting well with a lot of people.

The film features an androgynous character played by Benedict Cumberbatch. In the trailer, he’s asked by Zoolander (Ben Stiller) and Hansel (Owen Wilson) if he’s “a male or female model” and is asked whether he has “a hot dog or a bun.”

Cumberbatch’s character then lets out a giggle and says: “Whoops.”

A petition is asking for the film to be boycotted — and not for appearing markedly unfunny — for being transphobic.

The petition states: “Cumberbatch’s character is clearly portrayed as an over-the-top, cartoonish mockery of androgyne/trans/non-binary individuals. This is the modern equivalent of using blackface to represent a minority.

Carolinas News Notes continued from page 7 see in the world, and we are excited to support their work.”

To read more about Lewis from the News & Observer, go to bit.ly/1Q7PNfp. info: peacefirst.org. queernc.tumblr.com. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

Center opens doors

DURHAM, N.C. — The LGBT Center of Durham, 114 Hunt St., has officially opened and is now operational seven days a week from 2-8 p.m. Monday through Friday and 12-6 p.m.

Saturday and Sunday.

The board has invited the community to take a tour of the new building. The facility comes with free WiFi, has a library and more. Space can be reserved for organizational meetings or events.

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The center’s website has the instituted mission statement, vision and points of unity for viewing. The resources and foundation of the creation of the center was the end product of the community assessment committee. As the organization continues to grow, the fabric will change with the needs that are present at the time. The community is asked to share its thoughts with the board.

As always, the center continues to seek volunteers to staff the facility and to help out with programming. Three-hour blocks of time will be welcome from those who wish to serve.

An orientation session will be held on Dec. 12, 2 p.m., for those interested. Email volunteer@ lgbtqcenterof durham.org to sign up. info: lgbtqcenterofdurham.org.

Judy Garland as Dorothy Gale in her famous blue and white gingham dress in ‘The Wizard of Oz’ surrounded by Cowardly Lion Bert Lahr, Scarecrow Ray Bolger and Tin Woodman Jack Haley.

Photo Credit: Emerald Edition DVD Cover via Warner Brothers

“If the producers and screenwriters of [‘Zoolander 2’] wanted to provide social commentary on the presence of trans/androgyne individuals in the fashion industry, they could have approached models like Andreja Pejic to be in the film. By hiring a cis actor to play a non-binary individual in a clearly negative way, they [sic] film endorses harmful and dangerous perceptions of the queer community at large.”

— LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes media partner

Arabic lyrics draw insults on dating app Smart a–.

Isis mother f—er.

Sand n—er.

These are just a few of the insults hurled at Anthony Magallanaz of Phoenix when [he] posted lyrics to one of his favorite pop songs on his Grindr profile shortly after the terrorist attacks in Paris.

The Arabic lyrics translate to “I loved you in the winter.” They come from the song “Al

Western Activist takes on commission run

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — On Nov. 12, Rev. Jasmine Beach-Ferrara announced that she would run for a District 1 Buncombe County Commission seat.

The post is being vacated by Holly Jones who is pursuing a run for lieutenant governor for North Carolina. Primaries are set for March 15, 2016.

A Democrat, Beach-Ferrara as served as founder and executive director of the Campaign for Southern Equality since 2011. Through the organization’s work and others, marriage equality was brought to North Carolina.

She is a Chapel Hill, N.C., native and was raised by her public health nurse mother. Now, she is married to Meghann Burke and they are raising a son. Beach-Ferrara is also an or-

Thaniah” by Lebanese singer Fairouz.

“At first I thought it as a joke, but one in bad taste,” 22-year-old Magallanez told Gay Star News in an interview, “so I asked for clarification and it became clear to me that he only wanted to be hateful, so that’s when I stopped taking him seriously.”

He continued: “At the same time, I tried to be lighthearted with him and show that, ‘Yeah, I’m Muslim, but am I the one being aggressive here?’”

Magallanez tried to let the comments roll off his back, but he admitted he’s growing more uneasy about the increase in Islamophobia he’s been noticing, especially after the tragedy in Paris.

“I’m scared for the Muslims in Europe as well as those here in the United States,” he said, “and most of all those in the Middle East, who are the most direct and immediate victims of groups like Da’esh and al-Qa’eda.”

— LGBTQ Nation (lgbtqnation.com), a qnotes media partner

dained minister for the United Church of Christ.

“As a working mom and a minister, I know firsthand what’s at stake for Buncombe County families right now. But we do not have to accept childhood poverty, struggling schools and soaring housing costs as unalterable conditions in our community. It won’t be easy to solve these local problems. But we can, we must, and I want to help. We need new voices in our political process, a commitment to finding common ground, and a County Commission that reflects our community.”

This is Beach-Ferrara’s first run for public office. info: facebook.com/beachferrara. southernequality.org.

Have news or other information? Send your press releases and updates for inclusion in our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.

life Open your mind and heart this holiday season goqnotes.com/to/life

Make the spirit of giving a part of the celebration

by Holly Maholm :: guest contributor

N

early everyone has seen some version of that well-known Christmas movie featuring Scrooge and Tiny Tim and the three Christmas ghosts — the Ghost of Christmas Past, Christmas Present Day, and Christmas Yet to Come — who helped Scrooge find his Christmas Spirit again.

Now, back when Dickens wrote the original story — in 1843 — he felt a lot of justifiable anger about people like Scrooge — rich misers who only cared about making money. And those misers had all sorts of reasons for refusing to give any charity to help the poor, the needy or those (like Tiny Tim) who had to depend upon the charity of others. And if you read the original Dickens story, you will hear some of those excuses, and they were as lame then as they are now.

Today, we don’t suffer as much from the lack of charity by the rich.

They pay taxes, and, frankly, most wealthy people do give money to charity. Plus, we would never expect someone like Tiny Tim to have to depend upon voluntary charity to get medical care. So if Dickens were to re-write his story today, I don’t think he would pick “a miser” as the evil villain of the story.

That would not ring true in our modern world.

But what would ring true today would be that same coldness we saw in Scrooge’s heart. There were people in need that holi-

day season, but — to Scrooge — that was “not his problem.”

And today, there are people just like Scrooge who ignore the message of Christmas, and tell themselves “It’s not my problem.”

We see all too often that there are families we know where a young son has come out to his parents as gay, and in response, he has been told “You’re not my son.” Or another child who has struggled and finally worked up the courage to tell his parents “I feel I am a girl — like I was born in the wrong body.” And too often, that child will be turned out of the house, and told not to come back until she is ready to live the kind of life her parents think she ought to live.

All too often, such a child is told “We don’t approve of your lifestyle.” As if a child with a heart and soul and spirit — who loves Christmas and remembers many happy times around the tree — is nothing but a “lifestyle.”

As if being true to who you are, and knowing your authentic feelings, and refusing to live a lie or pretend to be someone you are not, is just a “lifestyle” as easily changed as that miserable haircut you got last year, when you went to that new stylist who had no clue.

Now, this Christmas, I wonder…if you were to be visited by one of these famous Christmas ghosts, how would you respond? Would you find kindness and generosity in your heart? Perhaps, one of those Christmas ghosts might show you a young person who is facing challenges and barriers in his life. Maybe a young man who has

come out as gay, or a friend from school who is lesbian, or even a teenage girl who has declared herself transgender.

Would you know what to do to help such a young man or woman? What if…one of those guests was a member of your own family? Or a loved one of a family member?

There are places you can go, and people who will help you, where such a young person can get help.

• There is PFLAG — which is “Parents and Friends of Lesbian and Gays.” There are chapters in many cities, and they are always happy to welcome someone who needs their help and fellowship.

• There are many local LGBT centers across the U.S. They are experienced and well-informed about challenges that young adults — and others — who are LGBT face every day.

• Many colleges and universities in the U.S. have LGBT centers for students, but often those centers are open to working with LGBT youth from the area who are near college age and who might benefit from attending their meetings and networking with students at their school.

By the end of “A Christmas Carol,” Scrooge rediscovered the true meaning of Christmas, and he opened his heart — and his pocketbook! — to help Tiny Tim walk again. Could you find that same generosity this year? Or, will you need a visit from one of those Christmas ghosts to show you how to share your love with those in need? : : — Holly Maholm is a transgender woman who was born John S. Oney. She began her transition to living full-time as a woman in 2013. She is the author of several stage and screen plays and two novels: “When Once I Lived “ (2011), and “Brave in Ribbons” (November, 2015). She lives in Cleveland, Ohio, and is an active member of the local LGBTQ community. For more information, visit hollymaholm.

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Holiday religious events, entertainment Season honored and celebrated

by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff ’Tis the season to be jolly, hang the wreath and string the holly. Or, it could be one that is observed by lighting candles, spinning a dreidle (a top-like object which is used as a game) and eating latkes (potato pancakes). Whatever your spiritual beliefs are, there is a cornucopia of options available to make the winter holiday season be one filled with hope and joy. qnotes has assembled some of them for you below.

Religious/Spiritual Fun, food, friends, fellowship Dec. 6 Celebrate the holiday season following worship service — lunch, cookie and ornament exchange and games. Cookie exchange protocol: Bring six dozen cookies (five dozen to swap and one dozen to sample), along with copies of favorite cookie recipes to share. Also, bring a wrapped $10 or less ornament for the exchange.

RSVP to Rev. Susan Morris, revsuemo@gmail.com.

Metropolitan Community Church Winston-Salem 4105 Patsy Dr., Winston-Salem, N.C. mccws.org.

Christmas is Coming Party Dec. 6, 12:30 p.m.

Congregational potluck with fun and games.

Holy Trinity Lutheran Church 1900 The Plaza, Charlotte, N.C. htlccharlotte.org.

Carols in the Round Dec. 6, 6:30 p.m.

An eclectic program under candlelight of familiar and new Christmas carols sung by the Motet Singers of Myers Park Baptist Church. The evening will alternate between favorite Christmas carols from the Motet Singers, (as well as a sneak preview of two carols from “A Ceremony of Carols” being sung by the Chancel Choir during worship on Dec. 20) and familiar carols that the congregation will sing.

Myers Park Baptist Church 1900 Queens Rd., Charlotte, N.C. mybconline.org.

Concert and Services Usher in the holidays with several events and services.

Dec. 12: “Brother Sun” concert, 7:30 p.m.

Brother Sun is comprised of veteran touring sing-songwriters, Greg Greenway, Pat Wictor and Joe Jencks. Together, they fuse folk, Americana, blues, pop, jazz, rock and a cappella singing. Proceeds from the concert will go to a guest musician fund at the church.

Community potluck and carol sing at 6 p.m. in Freeman Hall preceding the concert. Sign up for the potluck at goo.gl/DfcNmE. Tickets: $10/advance and $15/at the door available online at goo. gl/abylJa. Dec. 19: Outdoor Solstice Service, 5 p.m.

Dec. 24: Light-hearted, family-friendly Christmas Eve Service, 4 and 6 p.m.

Dec. 24: Christmas Eve Service, 8 p.m.

Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte 234 N. Sharon Amity Rd., Charlotte, N.C. uuccarlotte.org.

Children’s Christmas Pageant Dec. 12, 4 p.m.

Myers Park Baptist Church Heaton Hall 1900 Queens Rd., Charlotte, N.C. Chanukah Party Dec. 13, 5 p.m.

Enjoy the Festival of Lights with menorah lighting, games and song. Catered dinner, complete with latkes and other holiday food for members. Others by reservation only to religiouscommittee@ havurattikvah.org.

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Avondale Presbyterian Church MacLean Fellowship Hall 2821 Park Rd., Charlotte, N.C. havurattikvah.org “Manger Faces” Dec. 20, 7 p.m.

Jazz/liturgical concert.

Green Street Church 639 S. Green St., Winston-Salem, N.C. greenstreetchurch.org.

Christmas Eve Service Dec. 24, 5 p.m.

The Piedmont Unitarian Universalist Church at Temple Israel 1600 Brenner Ave., Salisbury, N.C. Christmas Eve Pageant & Worship Service Dec. 24, 4 p.m., pageant Dec. 24, 10:30 p.m., service St. Martin’s Episcopal Church 1510 E. 7th St., Charlotte, N.C. stmartins-charlotte.org.

Christmas Eve Service Dec. 24, 7 p.m.

Meditation, candle lighting, music and more.

Spiritual Living Center of Charlotte Actor’s Theatre 650 E. Stonewall St., Charlotte, N.C. slccharlotte.com Christmas Eve Service Dec. 24, 7 p.m.

The Piedmont Unitarian Universalist Church 9704 Mallard Creek Rd., Charlotte, N.C. Christmas Eve Worship Dec. 24, 4 p.m.

Family-friendly services with Rev. Carrie Veal Dec. 24, 5:30 p.m.

Music of Christmas Dec. 24, 6 p.m.

Candlelight service with communion with Rev. Robin P. Coira Myers Park Baptist Church 1900 Queens Rd., Charlotte, N.C. Children’s Christmas Pageant and Worship Service Dec. 24, 5:30 p.m.

All children are welcome to participate. Must arrive at 5 p.m.

Green Street Church 639 S. Green St., Winston-Salem, N.C. greenstreetchurch.org.

Christmas Eve Candlelight Service Dec. 24, 5:30 p.m.

Caldwell Presbyterian Church 1609 E. 5th St., Charlotte, N.C. caldwellpresby.org.

Christmas Eve Service Dec. 24, 7 p.m.

Pullen Memorial Baptist Church 1801 Hillsborough St., Raleigh, N.C. Christmas Eve Worship Dec. 24, 8 p.m.

Festive worship with candle lighting and communion.

Holy Trinity Lutheran Church 1900 The Plaza, Charlotte, N.C. htlccharlotte.org.

Christmas Day Service Dec. 25, 10 a.m.

St. Martin’s Episcopal Church 1510 E. 7th St., Charlotte, N.C. stmartins-charlotte.org.

Musical Holiday Concert and Fundraiser Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte Benefit/fundraiser for Concord/Kannapolis Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Refreshments will be served afterward.

Admission is free. Contributions graciously accepted.

Dec. 4, 7:30 p.m.

Trinity United Church of Christ 38 Church St. N., Concord, N.C. dagjag@carolina.rr.com.

“Madonna, Madonna” One Voice Chorus One often reads, “Keep the ‘Christ’ in Christmas.” Why not keep his mother in there too? At the heart of an overwhelmingly patriarchal religion, one finds the central figure in the biblical Christmas story to be…a woman, Mary! Also called “the Madonna,” Mary was blessed among women, and many holiday texts discuss her role in the Christmas story. Of course, the other famous Madonna made her splash in the 1980s, and the gay culture has come to worship this “Like a Virgin” Madonna as well.

“Madonna-Madonna” explores both the secular and sacred polarity of Christmas in this concert.

Dec. 4, 7:30 p.m.

Dec. 5, 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.

Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte 234 N. Sharon Amity Rd., Charlotte, N.C. Tickets: Dec. 4 and 6, $18.65/student with ID, $27.97/general; Dec. 5, $13.99/student with ID, $18.65/general. onevoicechorus.com.

Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus “A Christmas Celebration” with special guest artist Arsenia Soto From “Jingle Bells” to “Santa Baby,” the chorus will present uplifting sacred and secular tunes associated with the holiday season. Everyone welcome.

Dec. 5, 7 p.m.

Pilgrim United Church of Christ 3011 Academy Rd., Durham, N.C. Dec. 6, 3 p.m.

Pullen Memorial Baptist Church 1801 Hillsborough St., Raleigh, N.C. Suggested Contribution: $10/advance online, $15/at the door. tgmchorus.org.

“Christmas Time’s a’ Comin’!”

Triad Pride Men’s Chorus Festive holiday tunes to welcome the season.

Dec. 5, 8 p.m.

Congregational United Church of Christ 400 W. Radiance Dr., Greensboro, N.C. Dec. 8, 8 p.m.

Centennial Station Arts Center 121 S. Centennial St., High Point, N.C. Dec. 12, 8 p.m.

Parkland Magnet High School 1600 Brewer Rd., Winston-Salem, N.C. Tickets: $15/Greensboro, Winston-Salem; $10/High Point available online triadpridemenschorus.org.

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life

MCC invites members to join boards, ministries, committees Church settles into new space

by Chris Tittel :: qnotes contributor

T

he Rev. Catherine Houchins watches closely as Dennis O’Neal of Twin City Sound adjusts dozens of tiny gray knobs on the sound board at Metropolitan Community Church of Charlotte (MCCC).

Houchins is learning the ropes of the sound system as the MCCC congregation continues to grow into its new sanctuary at 7121 Orr Rd. Earlier in the day, she worked with O’Neal on microphone and speaker placement, at times taking the dais to speak while O’Neal adjusted dials in the sound booth.

Houchins wants not only to learn more about the technological side of things as her ministry grows, but also to engage members of MCCC’s Sound Ministry on the best ways to ensure her inspiring words and those of congregation members can be heard throughout the new space.

The Sound Ministry is just one of the many boards, ministries and committees where MCCC members can play a leadership role within the church.

The eight-member board of directors is primarily responsible for finances and the building. Recently, the board approved a new logo for MCCC, which now appears on a flag at the sanctuary.

Anyone who wants to run for a two-year term on the board must have been an MCCC member for at least one year.

Elections are held during the December congregation meeting.

“I expect board members to be in touch spiritually with what’s going on with the church,” Houchins said.

In addition to the following standing bodies, Houchins said, ministries and committees are formed as the need arises and are listed below: Education Ministry: Members organize Bible studies and seminars, among other activities.

Music Ministry: This ministry includes a choir and is open to anyone who can play an instrument.

Sound Ministry: Members offer technical support and run the sound board.

Video Ministry: This ministry plans to install cameras to stream services live online, an effort that Houchins said will serve anyone who cannot make it to the church.

Food Pantry Ministry: Members collect, stock and distribute food for those in need. The church food pantry remains well-stocked with offerings to those in need, courtesy of the Second Harvest food distribution center and congregation members. The food pantry served more than 2,500 people last year alone. Food pantry volunteers take calls at 9 a.m. every Thursday for same-day service.

Signing Ministry: This ministry reaches out to those who cannot hear or who have trouble hearing.

Social Activities Ministry: Members host a collective birthday celebration for congregants on the first Sunday of each month and organize a potluck the fourth Sunday of each month.

Decorating Committee: Members are particularly active during holidays and special events.

Pride Committee: Helps organize MCCC’s representation at Pride events each year.

Houchins said she welcomes everyone into the congregation who’s in need of MCCC’s special brand of spirituality, whether or not they choose to serve on the board, a ministry or a committee.

“We need to be a church for all people who need God’s inclusive love without being judged,” she said.

MCCC holds worship services at 10:45 a.m. every Sunday and Bible study at 7 p.m. every Wednesday. : :

Dennis O’Neal, engineering tech for Twin City Sound, briefs the Rev. Catherine Houchins on the Metropolitan Community Church of Charlotte’s sound system.

Holiday religious events continued from previous page “Wild Bells” Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte Come home for the holidays and help the chorus kick off their 10th season. It’s voices will envelop the audience in harmony for an evening of heartfelt holiday magic — sprinkled with a festive pinch of fairy dust. Presents under our tree for everyone: beloved carols, soaring holiday classics and the cheeky antics you expect from the chorus.

Dec. 11-12, 8:04 p.m.

St. Martin’s Episcopal Church 1510 E. 7th St., Charlotte, N.C. Tickets: $20-$25 in advance, available online.

Reserved seating only. gmccharlotte.org.

“Winter Concert” Charlotte Pride Band The band presents its annual winter concert, featuring the band’s brass and woodwind ensembles. The groups will perform traditional holiday music, as well as other selections arranged for small instrumental groups.

Dec. 13, 3 p.m.

Temple Beth El 5101 Providence Rd., Charlotte, N.C. Admission free. charlotteprideband.org.

“A Season of Peace” Cantaria, Gay Men’s Chorus of Asheville Music to usher in the season.

First Congregational United Church of Christ Dec. 17, 7:30 p.m.

Dec. 20, 4 p.m.

20 Oak St., Asheville, N.C. Tickets: $20/general, $25/VIP, available online. Bring printed receipt for entrance. cantariaasheville.org.

Celebration “Oh What Fun!” Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce Holiday Party and Annual Meeting Celebrate the season during the 23rd annual gathering. Bring a $10 gift card from Food Lion. Cards will be given to Time Out Youth Center to assist with youth who are displaced and need toiletries and food through the winter season.

Dec. 8, 6:30 p.m.

Sugar Creek Brewing Company 215 Southside Dr., Charlotte, N.C. Admission free.

RSVP via facebook.com/events/979397322102927/. clgbtcc.org.

Network holiday gathering The Raleigh Business and Professional Network Holiday Dinner and Gathering Socialize during an extended meet and greet time, with dinner following. Non-speaker meeting.

Dec. 9, 6:30 p.m.

P.G. Werth’s 927 W. Morgan St., Raleigh, N.C. Registration is requested and is available online at bit.ly/1Ss7i9q. raleighnetwork.org.

SAGE Holiday Party Dec. 12, 3 p.m.

LGBT Center of Raleigh 324 S. Harrington St., Raleigh, N.C. Contact Les Geller at sage@lgbtcenterofraleigh.com to learn more. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

Holiday Covered Dish Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Greensboro Potluck with family and friends.

Dec. 15, 6:30 p.m.

College Park Baptist Church 1601 Walker Ave., Greensboro, N.C. Call 336-291-8396 to alert organizers what favorite holiday dish will be brought to share. pflaggreensboro.org.

Holiday soirée The North Carolina Harm Reduction Coalition Holiday Party Deck out in an ugly holiday sweater and practice singing for a karaoke showdown. Door prizes will be given to the ugliest sweater around. Afterward, head over to the Landmark Tavern, 117 E. Hargett St., for an after-party.

Dec. 18, 6 p.m The Pour House Music Hall 224 S. Blount St., Raleigh, N.C. Tickets: $15 via check to NC Harm Reduction Coalition, P.O. Box 13761, Durham, NC 27709 or via PayPal for $20 which includes a processing fee. Contributions are also available for tickets on a sliding scale. bit.ly/1l1uctR.

Dec. 4-17 . 2015

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life

Fourth Ward tour brings in magical touch Historic homes and more are decked out for the season

by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

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he Friends of Fourth Ward Holiday Home Tour brings old charm back into the holiday season. It harks back to the days when people strolled along the street admiring the inventiveness of seasonal decorations. Pepper in a mix of historic residences with a backdrop of towering cityscapes, along with horse-drawn carriages, and the spirit of the season becomes magical.

In its 38th year, the three-day event showcases the elegant Victorians, urban condominiums, cultural institutions and historic places for which

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Fourth Ward is famous — all dressed in their holiday finery.

Public touring of these private residences is permitted during on Dec. 4-5, 5-9 p.m. and Dec. 6, 1-5 p.m.

“Fourth Ward is an extremely inclusive and LGBT-friendly community. In fact, a portion of the proceeds from our spring event, the Secret Gardens of Fourth Ward, benefited the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network. For this event, we have several LGBT homeowners on tour,” tour committee person Beth Walker shared. “Last year’s tour sold out and raised …over $13,000 for Housing First Charlotte-Mecklenburg, which is striving to end chronic homeless,” she added.

This walkable, self-guided tour includes admission to eight private Uptown homes, free food, beer and wine samples (while they last) at locations along the tour route, plus special holiday surprises at the 7th Street Public Market. On Sunday only, guests may also tour the historic McNinch House restaurant and Victorian home, including the newly renovated private residence upstairs. Throughout the weekend, choirs and hand bell ensembles will perform seasonal music on the porches of neighborhood homes and tour-goers will enjoy free horse and carriage rides throughout the neighborhood, along with complimentary appetizers at participating center city restaurants.

Vendors providing complimentary refreshments and tastings within homes, at official stops along the tour route or at their restaurants include: Rock Bottom Brewery, Mert’s Heart & Soul, Muddy River Distillery, The Asbury, The Wooden Vine, Allen Tate Realtors, Skyhouse Uptown, Potts Chocolate, Assorted Table Wine Shoppe and 7th Street Public Market.

Tour-goers have the opportunity to explore SkyHouse Uptown’s rooftop deck, complete with food and wine tastings at the SkyLounge.

At the 7th Street Public Market, enjoy complimentary treats, live seasonal music, multiple tastings, gift shopping and more.

Jay Biles, an LGBT community activist and former Friends president, was honored to be asked to be on the tour this year. His condominium features an open two-story living/ dining areas with a wall of windows, perfect to viewing the Uptown area. “The neighborhood

is great and very inclusive for LGBT residents,” he shared. His stop serves as The Wooden Vine wine tasting spot. Biles said, “The tour is a mix of older Victorian homes, condos and townhouses.

My home is a more modern condo to add to the mix. I have been preparing for several weeks cleaning, putting up Christmas decorations and preparing the roof-top patio for the refreshment station. I am ready to go!” Biles former home was also a tour stop a number of years ago.

Founded in 1977 by neighbors who visited each others’ homes to feast, sing carols and enjoy holiday décor, the tour has evolved over the years. In 1979, the event opened to the public and quickly became a successful fundraiser for the neighborhood. Tour proceeds benefit neighborhood projects such as neighborhood beautification, preservation of historic landmarks, and public art, social and safety programs.

Tickets, good for three days, are $25 and may be purchased online or at Alexander Michael’s Restaurant & Tavern, 401 W 9th St.; Park Road Books, 4139 Park Rd.; 7th Street Public Market, 224 E 7th St.; and all area Brixx Pizzas and Dean & Delucas. During tour hours, ticket holders must redeem their tickets for tour guidebooks at the tour ticket booth at the corner of 9th and Poplar Sts. in Fourth Ward or at the 7th Street Public Market. The ticket booth and market also will be the only locations for ticket purchases during the tour weekend.

The Fourth Ward Holiday Home Tour is presented by SkyHouse Uptown. Supporting sponsors include Allen Tate Realtors, 102.9 The Lake, FirstService Residential, 7th Street Public Market and Charlotte Center City Partners.

Tour proceeds benefit the non-profit Friends of Fourth Ward neighborhood organization. : : info: fofw.org.

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Pulling the thorns from his heart An interview with Buddy Nielsen of Senses Fail

by Gregg Shapiro :: qnotes contributor [Ed. Note: Senses Fail performs on Dec. 10, 7 p.m., at Amos Southend, 1423 S. Tryon St., Charlotte, N.C. Silverstein also performs during the evening. Tickets are $18/advance, $22/at the door and are available online.]

T

he vast musical tastes of the LGBT community have moved beyond disco and show-tunes, beyond folk music and cabaret. Reflecting that are queer contemporary musical acts such as Car Seat Headrest, Bradford Cox of Deerhunter, Shamir, Courtney Barnett, Perfume Genius and SOAK, to mention a few. Buddy Nielsen of post-hardcore band Senses Fail also falls into that category. Nielsen, who recently came out as queer, is the front-man of a band known for its screamo sound, a style of music at the far end of the spectrum from the above-mentioned artists. Nielsen’s coming out is the kind of act that one hopes will inspire others like him who are fans of his band’s music to feel safe enough to do the same. I spoke with Nielsen, currently on tour with Senses Fail in support of its latest release, “Pulling The Thorns From Your Heart” (Pure Noise), about the band and more.

Gregg Shapiro: Buddy, I’d like to begin by asking you about the genesis of the name of the band Senses Fail.

Buddy Nielsen: When I was in high school I took an Eastern Philosophy class. I was introduced to Hinduism and Buddhism and Taoism and Jainism and all sorts of Eastern thought. It really spoke to me. I pulled (the name) out of a mix of some of the things I’d heard about Hinduism and Buddhism and the unsatisfactory nature of life. Of the main tenets of Buddhism is that material things or anything you can grasp onto is ultimately going to disappear, leaving you some level of pain and hurt from it. Senses Fail spoke to this transcending of what our reality is. A transcendence of that limited viewpoint; which is the way we live our lives is directly through our five senses.

That’s how we get all of our information. Even our sixth sense, which is our mind, categorizes things. It spoke to me because at an early age I had a traumatic experience and went into a dissociative state. I didn’t feel like I was in my own body. A lot of my life I was never really able to feel comfortable in my own skin.

It was a reference to that, as well. The failure of those senses was something I experienced quite young. That’s where the name comes from. When I found Hinduism and Buddhism in high school it resonated with me.

GS: In terms of the band’s sound, was it always the plan for Senses Fail to be a hardcore metal band?

BN: It started off a little dark, a little heavy. Then we had some success with some of the more poppy, catchy stuff. That’s what was going on at the time. We morphed into more of a rock band with some heaviness to it. But mostly a poppy rock band. Then, over the last three years, we’ve morphed into more of a hardcore sort of heavy metal act. There was no plan. Everything was pretty natural.

GS: Is there a band, an artist or a style of music that you listen to that might surprise your fans or the fans of Senses Fail?

BN: I listen to a lot of country [laughs]. I think that would be pretty surprising.

GS: Do you mean old-school Nashville or insurgent country?

BN: I really like Waylon Jennings and Merle Haggard; outlaw `70s country. I also like new pop-country, too. I like Brad Paisley and Kenny Chesney. I really like Darius Rucker from Hootie and The Blowfish. I think he’s great.

GS: Buddy, you recently came out as queer. What was the reaction from your family?

BN: It was very positive. I think it’s just confusion, honestly. I think a lot of people aren’t really educated about the more less-known identities within the community. I feel like people have become educated on certain things, while they’re less educated on certain aspects. A lot of people didn’t really know what the hell I was

Buddy Nielsen (center) and Senses Fail bandmates.

talking about. I’m engaged to a cisgender woman. I didn’t live my entire life only being attracted to women. If I had felt more comfortable, who knows if I would have been in a committed relationship with a woman. I think everybody was a little confused about what it was exactly I was coming out for and what I was really saying. Because no one has ever known me to have any other sexual identity; but that’s just because I didn’t feel comfortable being in a relationship with a man or someone gender queer. A lot of my attraction was to gender queer people, as well as transgender women. I never felt comfortable exploring any of that, really, so no one ever knew. They were all surprised. One of the first questions was, “Does this mean you are going to break up with your fiancée?” No! Just because I’m coming out as queer, it doesn’t mean I’m going to ditch my committed relationship. In some situations that is the case; but not for me. That’s not what I was trying to do by coming out.

GS: How did your band-mates react?

BN: They were fine. That was probably the easiest.

GS: Do you think that’s because you spend so much time together?

BN: Yes. It’s also because for the younger generation who are involved in this style of music — everybody’s pretty open. It wasn’t that big of a shock and nobody batted an eye. It was like, “Cool!

Sweet! Awesome! Congrats!”

GS: I’m glad you mentioned the generational issue, plus the fact that you’re all musicians is an example of the element of openness among artists. Had you or have you spoken with other LGBTQ musicians within your musical genre, such as Laura Jane Grace of Against Me!, Otep, Paul Masvidal and Sean Reinert of Cynic, or Bob Mould, for that matter, about the coming out process?

BN: No, I haven’t really had a chance to. Those people aren’t really available to me. For this, it’s not really like there’s a community.

That’s one of my issues and that’s what I’m trying to do and that’s why I’m being so vocal about it. I don’t really feel like there’s a

community and that’s no one’s fault. There’s just not that many of us [laughs], especially in this musical genre. Making a community between the artist and the people who are fans is going to give everybody a little more footing to explore what this means and to have a safe place. I don’t really have a place in this music scene.

There are a couple of people that I know of, but I don’t know them.

It’s kind of a lonely thing. It’s a straight-leaning, masculine music, in general. Indie rock is different and pop music is a little different.

But in this underground rock scene, it’s very straight male-driven.

That’s not to say there aren’t a lot of advocates. But there’s a difference between advocates and people who identify. I’m not necessarily going to go to an advocate to ask what the process of coming out is, because they’ve never done that.

GS: That’s why I was asking about Laura Jane or Otep who are in similar scenes, but are also very open about who they are.

BN: I’m definitely inspired by Laura Jane Grace. There’s a person who did something even more difficult than me. But I don’t know her and we’ve never met.

GS: Do you think by coming out, you can set an example for other musicians, as well as fans of yours who are struggling with the same issue?

BN: Yeah! I would hope so. I recently held a little communitybuilding meditation thing where we invited people who identified to share their stories and meditate and meet other people in our music scene who specifically listen to this kind of music. There were people there who hadn’t come out to their families because they didn’t feel safe. Giving people a place where they can voice that is really important. People need a place to discharge this stuff. That’s what I’m working towards; my role of becoming a safe place for people to connect. The internet provides some places for people to connect, but I don’t necessarily think the internet is a great place for people to find safety and connection. I hope that people can gain something from my story. I spent a long time dealing with a lot of mental anguish over something that now, having come out — I just wish I would have done it 10 years ago. But 10 years ago was a very different time in this country. : :

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life

CyberWorld

Location-sharing features on dating apps raise security concerns Pesky individuals and hackers can cause stress to app users, highlight possible vulnerability

by Chris Tittel :: qnotes contributor

A

Photo Credit: BillionPhotos.com via Dollar Photo Club

“Using this data and lex will not go away. cross referencing it She warns Dan as they stand in her Manhattan apartwith public records and ment in a scene from “Fatal Attraction,” the cult thriller about data contained in Grindr a married man’s weekend indiscretions with an unmarried woman profiles and other and the nightmare that follows. social networking sites, Alex (Glenn Close) threatens Dan (Michael Douglas) with it would be possible to telling his wife of the weekend affair unless he reunites with her uncover the identities of for a much longer-term relationship. these people.”

“I just want to be a part of your life,” Alex says. “What am I Synack reported supposed to do? You won’t answer my calls. You changed your the results to Grindr. number. I’m not going to be ignored, Dan.” The information, Alex tracks down Dan at home and work, locates his car in coupled with reports a parking garage, memorizes his phone number, identifies and that Egyptian police coerces his school-aged daughter into a trip to the amusement were using Grindr and park. She even gains access to the rabbit hutch out back of Dan’s its location-sharing house to lay the ground for one of the most memorable moments feature to track down in screen history. and prosecute gay It was 1987, well before the Internet and decades before onmen, prompted Grindr line apps with location-sharing features that allow users to track to disable the locationothers all over town — whether they know it or not. sharing feature in Millions of Americans use these apps without incident countries where being every day to meet others for drinks, movies, dinner dates, even gay is illegal. casual sex.

“Even after reWhat happens, though, when the hot guy you spot on Grindr searchers from security — whom you determine through the app’s location-sharing firm Synack indepenfeature is only 100 feet away — agrees to accompany you home dently confirmed the for a one-night roll in the hay, but just won’t go away afterward? privacy threat [associArs Technica posted an article in January 2015 on the results ated with the locationof one security firm’s research into the location-sharing feature sharing feature], Grindr that dating app Grindr markets as a “core offering” of its app. officials have allowed it to remain for users in all but a handful of For starters, Colby Moore of research firm Synack makes countries where being gay is illegal,” the article reads. “As a result, clear in the article that Grindr is not the only dating app where geographic locations of Grindr users in the U.S. and most other the location-sharing feature raises concerns. places can be tracked down to the very park “I’ve looked at five or so dating bench where they happen to be having lunch or apps and all are vulnerable to similar Safety First bar where they’re drinking and monitored almost vulnerabilities,” he said. continuously.”

Last year, Moore and fellow Ars Technica Grindr, which reportedly serves more researchers set up a free account bit.ly/14OevNp than 5 million users monthly, addressed the on Grindr. safety concerns in a post to its website in By “hacking” the location-sharing Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department August 2014. feature through multiple bogus location (Personal Safety Information) “There have been recent reports that requests to servers behind the app, bit.ly/1MO9140 Grindr has an alleged security flaw and we Moore and his associates were able wanted to clarify the matter with you all,” the to follow select Grindr users around post reads. “There is nothing that matters more electronically throughout the day. to us than our users and protecting the Grindr community is a “The exploit allowed Moore to compile a detailed dossier core priority.” on volunteer users by tracking where they went to work in the Grindr then restates its mission — to help guys meet other morning, the gyms where they exercised, where they slept at night guys — in justifying geolocation technology as the best way for and other places they frequented,” the Ars Technica article reads.

users to meet up “simply and efficiently.”

“We do not view this as a security flaw,” the post reads.

Grindr then recommends steps that users can take.

“For Grindr users concerned about showing their proximity, we make it very easy for them to remove this option and we encourage them to disable ‘show distance’ in their privacy settings,” the post reads. “If a user wishes to turn off his distance setting, all he needs to do is toggle the show distance option in settings. The app will still work, however other uses won’t be able to see exactly how far they are.”

While Moore argued that Grindr could be doing more to protect its users, law enforcement officials in recent years have been including Internet safety tips in their public safety campaigns and on their websites.

Although the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department does not list safety and prevention tips on its website specific to use of dating apps such a Grindr, Scruff and Growlr, the department warns on its “Personal Safety Information” page that potential criminals will try and determine vulnerability, accessibility and availability in any given situation and in any way they can. : :

Online dating safety tips compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Like never before, security breaches have sprung up everywhere across the globe. And, for those who like to find dates in the online dating community, knowing what to do and how to do it is an imperative.

Joe Tracy, the publisher of Online Dating Magazine has put together a great list of tips to use when one wants to make the most out of the date and in a safety-conscious manner.

Tracy says, “Your online dating safety begins with educating yourself on how to improve your experience and be safe doing it.”

The FBI also says that those who are engaged in the online dating scene, should also look out for scams that could bilk one out of hard-earned cash, as well as put one at risk for other illegal activity.

And, lastly, parents should monitor their kids online activity.

Often, predators look for young people to exploit. Make sure

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that teens and young adults are aware of the dangers of anonymous or alias people who may put them at risk.

Online safety tips: 1. Trust your gut instinct.

2. D on’t provide personal information too soon. And, hold off on exchanging addresses until you feel safe and confident in the person you are getting to know.

3. Use a free email account.

4. Use a cell phone or anonymous phone service to chat.

5. Beware of married people, never your home phone number.

6. Look for questionable characteristics in your communication.

7. Ask for a recent photo.

8. Stick with paid online dating services.

9. Don’t get a false sense of security.

10. M eet in a public place for your first meeting. Don’t meet at your home.

11. Remember that alcohol affects your judgment.. Drink responsibly and watch your drink carefully to avoid date-rape dosing.

12. Use your own mode of transportation.

13. Always let someone else know where you’re going.

14. Always remain alert.

goqnotes.com/to/news

news

Charlotte Pride: Growing pains? continued from page 5 Under our continued leadership, Charlotte Pride has very successfully navigated several years of unprecedented growth while also working to ensure and increase long-term sustainability, our fiduciary responsibility to stakeholders and our continued commitment to transparency and community outreach, programs and projects. We are confident in the abilities of our co-directors and each member of our board.”

In addition to Hill’s departure, eight others left the board, including Kelly.

Comer notes that Kelly “fulfilled his term as director-elect and chose not to continue with the organization.”

Thom Hall replaced Hill and is also no longer with Pride. Gary Carpenter-Kelly replaced Hall. He, too, has since left his position.

Other board members known to have left Pride, or chosen not to return, over the past year include: Former Treasurer Tara Moser, Former Community Development Chair Marshall Varner, Former Operations Chair Patrick Paige and Former Media/Marketing Chair Kimberly Brent. That brings the total to nine, as Hill claimed in his Facebook post.

Comer did not directly answer when asked how many board members have left the board over the past year, but stressed that most of those who left did so only at the end of their term.

“Only three board members resigned from their positions before the completion of their Sept. 30 terms,” Comer noted. “The majority of these resignations were personal and related to other commitments or a desire to take a break after a number of years of working on the festival.

As should be expected, changes in leadership are common when organizations embark on strategic transitions in governing structures.”

An anonymous individual claiming to have worked “for four years in committees and on the board” sent an email to qnotes, which said in part, “The disgust among board members and committee members is rampant.” The email said they believed the problem was “mostly due” to Grimstad’s management style.

Paige mirrored this sentiment, saying, “My perspective is that there has been a lot of personality conflict. Especially with the directors.”

“I have found with all volunteer, non-profit organizations, including Pride, that there is always going to be turn over on the board and committees for many reasons. People get burned out, individuals realize they don’t have the time, individuals have issues with how particular procedures are implemented, etc.,

etc.,” said Former Co-Director and Parade Chair Dave Webb in an email.

Webb left in September of this year to focus on his teaching career, noting that the plan to leave the board had been in the works for a while.

“Pride’s board has been no exception,” Webb continued. “Over the last five years there has been raised voice, feet stomping, walking out of a meeting and all sorts of drama, and I’ve been part of that on occasion. It is the nature of the beast and it is also a sign of a board that is engaged and passionate. Does everyone agree? No. Are there times individuals decide they can’t get along with another individual or rule? Yes. That is the challenge with any organization and especially this one that has grown its attendance from 15,000 to over 125,000 a year.”

While the bylaws as they currently stand suggest that both Grimstad and Hopkins should be rolling off as directors sooner than later, this may no longer be the case before long due to the change to a governing board structure.

“The board has resolved to transition to a governing board; our current board members will assist in this process. Part of this process will likely include bylaws revisions to better reflect the desired governing structure for the organization. The forthcoming governing board will make final decisions on board leadership in the future,” said Comer. : : [Editorial Note: Matt Comer, Charlotte Pride Media & Marketing chair, served as editor of this newspaper for almost eight years and is no longer on staff at qnotes.]

Dec. 4-17 . 2015

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goqnotes.com/to/arts

tell trinity

less seductively, but that’s like asking Mona Lisa to stop smiling.

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Hey Trinity, I have always loved your advise on first dates. Are there any important questions that you think one should ask a first date?

First Questions, Topeka, KS

How wrong are extramarital affairs?

Hello Trinity, The extramarital affair I am having is starting to bring about many more problems than I could have ever imagined. I am not trying to hurt anyone. I am just trying to take care of my needs.

What can I do now?

Extra Troubles, Buffalo, NY Hello ‘Extra’ Troubles, Sometimes we find ourselves in circumstances that we know we should not be in, but... we’re in them. You know this. You also know that extramarital affairs are wrong, period! You will have to pay the consequences sooner or later to a higher or lower court. But, sweetie, before you get any deeper, stop, apologize for your misdoings and hope that everyone forgives you including yourself. However, if you find yourself in real trouble, a change of hair color and address has always worked for me! Good luck.

Dear Trinity, Growing up, my parents never allowed me to have much of a wardrobe like my friends. Now as an adult I have acquired a great love for shoes. I have over a 100 pairs, but for the first time in my life I am going from living alone to living with a lover who’s asked me to downsize my shoe collection. Help?

Shoe Shocked, Winston-Salem, NC

Dear Shoe Shocked, One of the joys of becoming an adult is that you can say, “yes” to all the things your parents said “no” to. However, if you don’t stop saying yes, “over compensation” starts ruining your life. So, honey, sell or give away some of your Imelda Marcos shoe collection and start Shoes Anonymous meetings immediately! (There is really enough of a good thing, especially for shoes. Check out my cartoon to see how I deal with this dilemma.)

Dearest Trinity, For a few weeks now, I’ve been dating an extremely attractive woman. Everything is great, except everyone is always looking at her. I am not as much jealous as I am uncomfortable!

Too Beautiful, Portland, OR Dearest Too Beautiful, Since Cleopatra’s reign and Helen of Troy launched a thousand ships, beautiful women have demanded the attention of the world. Now before you launch a thousand problems, a) talk about it with her; b) keep practicing getting comfortable with it; and; lastly; c) pay less attention to what’s going on around you and more attention to her. Jealousy is something we all need to deal with! Pumpkin, you can always ask her to dress

a&e

Hey First Questions, Do I have a list of first date questions? Does Lady Gaga have costumes? So, darling, here are: Trinity’s Very Important Questions To Ask A First Date (Note: Everything in parenthesis is implied not said!)

1. What do you expect from a relationship? (How much hell are you going to put me through?)

2 Have you been in a relationship before and what happened? (Are you a serial killer?)

3. What are your carrier goals? (I hope you don’t expect me to take care of you?)

4. W hat do you think about marriage? (Are you a no good, cheating infidel?)

5. H ow would you describe yourself? (Are you egotistical, stubborn, neurotic or selfish?)

6. W here did you go to college? (You did go to college?)

7. What do you think about safe sex? (Are you going to give me every disease known to humankind?)

8. Do you get along with your family and coworkers? (Again, are you a serial killer?)

9. Do you have an IRA, 401K or own a home.

(Am I going to have to work for the rest of my life?)

10. Lastly, what do you think about politics and religion? (Are you going to knock me up and leave me in the name of God?) info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Dec. 4-17 . 2015

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EVENTS

Submit your event to our calendar!

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a three-forone entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

December 2015 Continues through Dec. 5 One Voice Chorus presents ‘ Madonna/Madonna’ Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte 234 N Sharon Amity Rd., Charlotte, N.C. 7:30 p.m., plus a 2 p.m. show on Dec 5

SEP DEC MO

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One Voice Chorus wants to keep the mother of Christ in Christmas. Mary, also known as The Madonna, is at the heart of the biblical Christmas story and “Madonna/Madonna” places her front and center, along with another Madonna. The Madonna of ‘80s pop stardom and icon of gay culture. The concert explores “both the secular and sacred polarity of Christmas” in a holiday presentation unlike most others you are likely to see this year, or any other.

Tickets range from $14-$19. Tickets and more information is available online. onevoicechorus.com.

Stronger Together Luncheon SEP DEC MO Omni Charlotte Hotel 132 E. Trade St., Charlotte, N.C. 11:30 a.m.

Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) brings community members together for socializing, along with a luncheon and awards. Tickets required. Call Jim Weiner at 704-973-9819 to check on availability. carolinarain.org.

00 04

Red Pump Project University of North Carolina at Charlotte Center City Campus 320 E. 9th St., Charlotte, N.C. 7 p.m.

The Red Pump Project hosts its 7th annual Red Pump Red Tie Affair, raising funds and awareness for HIV and AIDS among women. Enjoy a cocktail reception, runway show and awards ceremony. Tickets are $40-$50. VIP admission is $75. eventbrite.com/e/the-7th-annual-redpumpred-tie-affair-tickets-18196355790.

SEP DEC MO

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Continues through Dec. 6 38th Annual Friends of Fourth Ward Holiday Home Fourth Ward Urban Neighborhood 229 N. Church St., Suite 300, Charlotte, N.C. 5-9 p.m. Dec. 4 and 5, 1-5 p.m. Dec 6 A walkable, self-guided tour of the Fourth Ward, with admission permitting event goers access into private homes in the neighborhood. Complementary horse and carriage rides available, as well as wine, food and beer samplings while they last, with choirs and hand bell ensembles performing on the porches of homes. Admission covers all three days of the tour and tickets cost $25. Tickets and more information are available online. fofw.org.

SEP DEC MO

00 04

Winter Walk for AIDS & Ron SEP DEC MO Johnson 5K Run University of North Carolina at Greensboro 1400 Spring Garden St., Greensboro, N.C. 12 p.m.

Triad Health Project hosts its Winter Walk and the 5K Run to raise funds and awareness to benefit its client services and prevention programs. Registration is available online for the 5K. Onsite HIV/ STI testing will be available at the Elliot University Center. triadhealthproject.com.

–––––––––––––––––––– Time Out Youth’s Hattie’s Sunday Funday FUNdraiser Hattie’s 2918 The Plaza, Charlotte, N.C. 1-8 p.m.

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A selection of jazz renditions of favorite holiday cartoon and movie classics.

Performers will include the region’s top jazz artists, as well as special guests and the JAI (Jazz Arts Initiative) All-Stars.

There will be a catered pre-reception, from 5:30-6:30 p.m., as well as a silent auction supporting Jazz Arts Initiative programs, such as student scholarships.

Tickets are $20 in advance and $25 the night of the show. Tickets and more information are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce’s Annual Meeting and Holiday Party Sugar Creek Brewing Company 215 Southside Dr., Charlotte, N.C. 6:30-9 p.m.

The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce will hold its annual meetHead out to Hattie’s for the 2nd Annual ing and holiday party at Sugar Creek Time Out Youth fundraiser and bring a donation in lieu of a door charge. Watch Brewing Company. It will be a mix of the Carolina Panthers take on the New business and celebration, with the Orleans Saints and enjoy drink specials, handling of organizational business, but also food, drinks and dancing. More much of the proceeds of which will go to Time Out Youth. Bands will play after information is available online. clgbtcc.org. the game.

To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

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Jazz Room: A Swingin’ SEP DEC MO Holiday Celebration Booth Playhouse at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte, N.C. 6:30 p.m.

SEP DEC MO

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The Twelve Queens of SEP DEC MO Christmas, Holigay Benefit Drag Show Bar at 316 316 Rensselaer Ave., Charlotte, N.C. 11:30 p.m.-2:30 a.m.

Join 12 of Charlotte’s biggest drag queens, including Buff Faye, Lola Lovelace, Miley Vyrus and Bethann Phetamine, for a holigay fundraiser.

Proceeds benefit Campus Pride, with each dollar up to $3,000 matched by Bar at 316. More information is available online. bar316.com.

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Holiday Events: (for more about these and more, see pages 10-11)

Chanukah Begins Dec. 6 @ sundown

Yule

Dec. 20-Jan. 1

Christmas Eve Dec. 24

Christmas Day Dec. 25

Kwanzaa

Dec. 26-Jan. 1

Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/

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life

health and wellness

by Jack Kirven :: personal trainer, qnotes contributor

SA: Sugar Anonymous — Weening yourself off an addiction to sugar Chosing sugar-based food items over more healthy options can be challenging when you eat out of stress, depression or are suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder. Eat when hungry, and not when timing is right amid a hectic schedule, travel and distractions.

Photo Credit: ulianvalentin via Dollar Photo Club.

faster. When anything puts me out of order to Hi. My name is Jack, and I’m an addict. (This any degree, I forget to eat. I travel a great deal is where you say, “Hi, Jack!” and I raise my between time zones, too. Between S.A.D., shifthands in the air as if I’m being mugged… It’s a ing time zones, hectic travel experiences and terrible joke, especially at airports. I blame the insomnia,I’ve got all sorts of intersugar. It made me do it.) ruptions that distract me from As I began typing this eating. Perhaps, you go to food last night, I was munchto comfort you? I go to starvation. ing through a bag of canNeither are good, and both create dy. Today, I had peach a need for sugar. By the time I recobbler with a scoop of alize I need to eat, I’m famished. ice cream. In fact, these And that, in addition to everything last few weeks I’ve been else, triggers a ravenous need for particularly bad about energy. The fastest source of that indulging my cravings. energy is refined sugar.

I have a few reasons.

So, what can be done? If Excuse me. Let me own you’re struggling with depression, it: I have a few excuses. consciously find ways to treat There, I admitted it. and/or mitigate it. If S.A.D. is an So, here I am, a perissue for you, consider getting a sonal trainer and wellness lamp that uses a bulb that emuadvocate admitting that lates full spectrum daylight. Try to I have a rampant sweet maintain a regular eating schedtooth. I struggle with it, ule to prevent desperate cravings. and sometimes I win.

Invest in getting adequate rest Many other times I don’t. and sleep. Drink plenty of water.

Let’s look at what is afGetting proper exercise, adExercise daily. All of these help. fecting me, and perhaps it equate rest and staying hydrated But what about lessening the will help you contend with helps to stave off the winter cravings? I have found that the your own cravings. blues. Also, sitrting under a full gradual removal and replacement I love autumn. It’s spectrum light source has great of sugar is what is sustainable, my favorite time of year! benefits when the sun vanishes but even then I will go crazy from Well, I love the first part earlier during winter months. time to time. Fortunately for me, I of autumn. As soon as Photo Credit: ulianvalentin have been disciplined long enough the time changes an via Dollar Photo Club. to be able to afford some binging hour, I hate autumn. It from time to time. But whether you are already gets so dark so early. In me this starts to trigger fit or not, recognize that you will have to forgive Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.). If you yourself frequently as you make tiny steps toward don’t know, S.A.D. is a form of depression that a long journey’s destination. Also, having a cheat is triggered when the days get shorter during day once every two weeks keeps your metabofall and winter. Not only are my moods comprolism from slowing way down. Gradually, ween mised, but hibernation responses get cranked yourself to fewer and fewer cheat days, and try up. Yep, like many animals, we do store more to remember moderation in between them. : : fat during the cold and dark nights at the end of the year. Why do you think we cram so info: Jack Kirven completed the MFA in many brightly lit feasts into the end of the year?

Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as Traditionally, our ancestors needed to break up a personal trainer through NASM. the dark and freezing days with light, laughter His wellness philosophy is founded upon and lots of food. integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated I also contend with an irregular appetite. workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and Many people are stress eaters, but I’m a stress INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

Dec. 4-17 . 2015

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