QNotes, December 13, 2019

Dec. 13-26, 2019

qnotes

1

2

qnotes

Dec. 13-26, 2019

inside this issue

Dec. 13-26, 2019 Vol 34 No 17

connect

feature

goqnotes.com

10

news

contributors this issue

Kode Brown, Mykah Buff, Kendra R. Johnson, Stan Kimer, Bill Malcolm, Lainey Millen, Stanley Popovich, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Gregg Shapiro, Rabbi Eric Solomon, Rev. Eve Stevens, Trinity

6 6 7

Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Copy Editor: Maria Dominguez Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2019 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher.

Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff.

The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

Civil rights are at the top of the list for work to be done by Equality North Carolina, as well as other initiatives.

Panels of Quilt at Home News Briefs Legal Group Does Battle

PAGE 4

a&e

front page

Graphic Design by Chris Rudisill Photography: Randy Rainbow; goffkein and gustavofrazao via Adobe Stock

The Fight Continues for Equality North Carolina

Candy-Colored Christmas

14

16

‘Ian McKellen: A Biography’ Tell Trinity

life 8 Orgs Share Their Holiday Wish Lists 14 Mental Health:

Managing Your Fearful

and Obsessive Thoughts 15 Queer Travelogue: Your

Paris Winter Getaway 19 Our People:

Erin Goldstein

views 4 Political Voices: The Fight

Continues for ENC 4 Five Examples of

LGBTQ Equality 12 Spiritual Reflections:

A Two Thousand Year-Old

Hanukkah Question 13 Spiritual Reflections: Finding Family and Community

events 18

Lindsey Stirling

Our People: Erin Goldstein

Serving as the board chair for Time Out Youth Center is just part of what keeps this active advocate, mother and business owner busy.

PAGE 19

SUBSCRIBE!

twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

These rates only cover a portion of our true cost, however, our goal is to serve our community Mailed 1st class from Charlotte, NC, in sealed envelope.

Subscription Rates:

☐ 1 yr - 26 issues = $48 ☐ 1/2 yr - 13 issues = $34

Mail to: P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222

______________________________________________________ name: ______________________________________________________ address: ______________________________________________________ city: state: zip: ______________________________________________________ credit card – check one: ☐ mastercard ☐ visa ☐ discover ☐ american express ______________________________________________________ card #: exp. date: ______________________________________________________ signature:

Dec. 13-26, 2019

qnotes

3

views

The Fight Continues for Equality North Carolina Political Voices

BY Kendra R. Johnson, Equality North Carolina Executive Director | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

W

hen I made North Carolina my home in 2018 to assume the new role of executive director of Equality North Carolina (ENC), I had a specific vision in mind for the future of this organization.

House Bill 2, and the dehumanizing discrimination it enshrined into law, had rocketed North Carolina onto the international stage when it came to LGBTQ rights. Resources had poured into the state from all corners of the globe. And yet, our community’s most vulnerable continued to suffer and queer and trans folks, particularly those of color, continued to slip through the cracks of organizational LGBTQ support.

Equality North Carolina needed to be brought into the future of the LGBTQ movement — a world where queer and trans folks of color are the ones holding the microphones and our community’s resources are allocated in a way that prioritizes their lives — empowering them to not only survive, but thrive.

We have a long way to go, but we’re getting there. As we’ve laid out this new set of priorities for ENC over the course of the past year, I am incredibly proud of what we have accomplished with other organizations and individuals. These victories mark wins not only for ENC, but the North Carolina LGBTQ community as a whole.

In June, ENC played host to the first ever Pride Month Reception at the North Carolina Governor’s Mansion. It was a historic occasion, bringing together community leaders, politicians and everyday folks to celebrate our state government’s first visible recognition of Pride within the physical halls of power.

I used my speech during this reception to draw attention to the ongoing epidemic of violence targeting trans women of

Equality North Carolina attended the Pride Month Reception at the North Carolina Governor’s Mansion. Pictured here are (from top left to right) are James Michael Nichols, Kendra R. Johnson, Ames Simmons (front), Eshe Hamme, First Lady Kristin Cooper, Gov. Roy Cooper, Candis Cox, Brennan Lewis. (Photo Credit: Equality North Carolina) color across this country. I called Chanel Scurlock’s name into that room, along with Kanautica Zayre-Brown — a trans woman of color who was still being housed in a men’s prison facility at the time.

Zayre-Brown would later be transferred to a facility that aligned with her gender identity — a massive victory earned by a coalition of grassroots organizations, including ENC, working behind the scenes to hold the N.C. Department of Public Safety accountable. The realities of being both trans and incarcerated are horrific enough.

Our trans brothers, sisters and siblings experiencing incarceration deserve to be housed in facilities where they are safe.

This year, ENC also partnered with Campaign For Southern Equality on our Protect Our Youth NC Campaign, a joint legislative effort to end the barbaric practice of conversion therapy across the state of North Carolina. While our bill did not make its way through the Republicancontrolled House and Senate, it did inform Gov. Roy Cooper’s Executive Order to restrict public funding for conversion therapy. This move made North Carolina the first Southern state to establish a state-level policy protecting youth from “conversion therapy.” It’s not the comprehensive ban that we wanted, but I remain completely in awe of this victory.

More recently, Gov. Cooper also issued the state’s first Proclamation observing Transgender Day of Rememberance on Nov. 20. This move brings unimaginable visibility to the plights of trans people across the state of North Carolina. ENC would like to thank the Governor for his unwavering support of the LGBTQ community throughout the course of 2019.

Finally, the elections across the state of North Carolina brought some incredible victories for ENC’s endorsed candidates.

There are far too many wins for me to highlight, but I’d like to briefly underscore the historic significance of Saige Martin and Jonathan Melton being elected to Raleigh’s City Council. These two openly gay men, who were sworn in on Dec. 2, are the first openly LGBTQ people to serve on Raleigh’s City Council. I can only hope that other cities across the state will follow suit in the years to come.

As ENC gears up for the holidays, our staff is doing anything but slowing down.

Our endorsement process for 2020 begins in December, and the slate of races across the state next year are, in a word, gargantuan. The sheer volume of open seats provides us with an incredible opportunity to transform the political landscape of not only North Carolina, but the South as a whole.

Everyone has a role to play in this fight, and we can’t do it without your support.

Please, spend some time figuring out what your capacity is in the year to come.

Whether it’s a financial contribution, volunteering your time or getting involved with a local race, it’s on all of us to roll up our sleeves and help contribute to building a North Carolina that values and supports the most vulnerable members of our communities.

See you in 2020. : :

Five Examples of LGBTQ Equality Equal Rights, Not Special Rights

BY Stan Kimer | Guest Contributor

I

Marriage: n my recent blog on my Equal Rights — People can marwebsite, “Why So Much Hate,” ry the person they love, whether (bit.ly/2ON3pmm) I wrote they are same gender, opposite about the hateful comments I gender or gender fluid. Special receive on social media after Rights — If we made marriage only blogging about topics such as available to same-gender couples Islamophobia, LGBTQ equality and no longer allowed heteroand Racism. In the LGBTQ area, sexuals to get married. I would I am shocked about some of love to have someone explain to the people commenting about me why allowing a same-gender LGBTQ people clamoring for Is it equal rights or special rights? There is a difference. couple to get married infringes on “special rights.”

(Photo Credit: dusica69 via Adobe Stock) their rights.

When I published a blog Workplace Protections: about an LGBTQ+ Workplace Equity Training toolkit (bit.

Equal Rights — All people should be able to work if ly/2RrjErf) that will be launching in North Carolina in they are qualified and capable of doing their job, and not February, one woman commented that “this crap should not get fired simply because they are gay. Special Rights — If be allowed in our schools or at work” and that she is fed up we passed a law that stated if a gay person and a straight with “gays wanting special rights.” When I tried to engage person applied for a job, preference must be given to the her in a conversation about areas where LGBTQ people are gay person. If you are so afraid that a gay person is going not treated equally, she accused me of harassing her and to steal your job, work harder and update your skills. reported me to Facebook!

Safety in our Schools: I am hoping that those who continue to shout “special Equal Rights — All children, including those who are rights” read this with an open mind to sincerely understand lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or gender fluid should the difference between equal rights and special rights.

4

qnotes

Dec. 13-26, 2019

be allowed to get a quality education without being bullied or having their issues not addressed by school administration. Special Rights — Establishing top-notch special schools exclusively for LGBTQ children only with the best teachers, facilities and equipment, and providing scholarships to top colleges only for LGBTQ students.

Safety on the Streets: Equal Rights — A gay couple should be able to walk down the street holding hands without being heckled or physically accosted. Special Rights — Passing a law that only same-gender displays of public affection (PDA) are allowed and that heterosexuals are forbidden to hold hands or kiss in public.

Bathroom Accessibility for Transgender People: Equal Rights — All people should be permitted to use a public restroom that matches their gender identity and presentation. Special Rights — When a transgender person wants to use a restroom, everyone must immediately leave and wait until the transgender person is finished.

I hope readers get the drift here. LGBTQ people pay their taxes just like everyone else, and deserve equal treatment and respect under the law. We are just asking for equality without taking anything away from anybody else. : :

Dec. 13-26, 2019

qnotes

5

BRIEFS

news National AIDS Memorial welcomes first panels of Quilt home SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — On Dec. 1, more than 1,500 people gathered at the National AIDS Memorial to welcome home the first group of panels of the AIDS Memorial Quilt (the Quilt) back to San Francisco and honor leaders who helped bring together the voices of the epidemic with “profound courage, unrelenting hope and unity of humankind,” organizers shared.

The two days of ceremonies and events focused on “Common Threads-Common Ground,” weaving together personal stories which made a difference in the HIV/AIDS movement. World AIDS Day and Light in the Grove ceremonies were made possible through the support from Quest Diagnostics as this year’s “Presenting Angel Partner” and Chevron, Gilead Sciences and Wells Fargo, as “Legacy Partners.”

Rick Welts, president & COO of the Golden State Warriors, was honored with the National Leadership Recognition Award.

He was the first prominent male executive in professional sports to announce his sexual orientation publicly, Welts lost his longtime partner, Arnie Chinn, to AIDS and mourned The first panels made their way home to San Francisco, Calif. to the National AIDS him in silence. “His courageous decision to come out publicly Memorial. They were on display at the World AIDS Day event on Dec. 1 where Quilt delivered a significant blow to the stigma and discrimination creator Cleve Jones (speaking) and Mike Smith shared the story of its beginnings. that continues to fuel the spread of HIV and diminish the self(Photo Credit: Trish Tunney/National AIDS Memorial) esteem of LGBT youth, in particular,” added organizers.

“It is an honor to receive this award from the National AIDS Memorial, which is such an important place for so many of us to heal, remember and share the stories of those who have died from AIDS,” said Welts. “These national treasures — this memorial and our beloved quilt — help to keep their memories alive and are reminders to those struggling with who they are, or living with HIV or AIDS, that they are loved, that they are important, that there is hope, and that they share a common bond with so many.”

The Thom Weyand Unsung Hero Award was presented to Leslie Ewing, who has dedicated much of her life to LGBTQ civil rights. Ewing co-founded the ACT-UP affinity group Queer and Present Danger; she was an early volunteer coordinator for the Quilt, joining other activists in the marches in Washington D.C.; she helped lead the AIDS Emergency Fund; raised over $2 million for local AIDS organizations with Under One Roof; and served as executive director of the Pacific Center in Berkeley, where she recently retired.

Two programs of the National AIDS Memorial were featured during World AIDS Day. The Surviving Voices Storytelling Project, funded primarily through a grant from Chevron, unveiled a video tribute honoring the transgender community. Additionally, $50,000 in scholarships was awarded to 10 students through the Pedro Zamora Young Leadership Scholarship. Gilead Sciences and Wells Fargo are major funders of the scholarship program.

Cleve Jones and Mike Smith shared the story of the AIDS Memorial Quilt, when 32 years ago during the height of the AIDS epidemic, a group of strangers gathered at a San Francisco storefront to remember the names and lives of their loved ones they feared history would forget. It was that simple act of love and defiance, where the first panels of the Quilt were created, which sparked a national movement, that continues today. Now, the Quilt is a social justice teaching tool, having grown to more than 50,000 3-by 6-foot memorial panels, individually sewn together to tell the personal stories of more than 105,000 lives lost to AIDS. In November at a ceremony in Washington, D.C., House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, along with Reps. John Lewis and Barbara Lee, announced that the Quilt would move from the NAMES Project Foundation in Atlanta, Ga. where it has been cared for since 2001, back to the San Francisco Bay Area, under the stewardship of the National AIDS Memorial. The Quilt archival collection was transferred under the care of the American Folklife Center at the Library of Congress, making it available to the public through the world’s largest public library.

“The enormity of loss our beloved quilt represents is so profound, and what has kept so many of us moving forward when, at so many times during this painful journey, we thought it was over,” said Jones. “I cannot express how meaningful it is to have the Quilt return to San Francisco, where it will live forever so that every story, every life, every friend and lover, will never, ever be forgotten.”

The first Quilt panels to arrive back in San Francisco were on display during World AIDS Day. All of the Quilt panels will return to the Bay Area in early 2020, where the Quilt’s programs, which include displays in communities across the nation, panel making, conservation, and public education efforts, will transition to the National AIDS Memorial.

Gilead Sciences announced a $2.4 million grant to the National AIDS Memorial — the largest single grant the organization has ever received — that will be used to fund the Quilt programs, support its move back to San Francisco and launch a new public education initiative in 2020 to bring the Quilt displays into communities across the country, particularly in regions adversely impacted by HIV. Gilead Sciences Chairman and CEO Daniel O’Day said, “The Quilt has played an important role in inspiring activism, fostering hope and educating the nation about the story of HIV/AIDS. Through this partnership, we are proud to help keep this story alive for future generations.”

On the eve of World AIDS Day, the National AIDS Memorial was artistically-illuminated with light displays as part of the annual Light in the Grove gala. This year’s guests experienced a candlelight reflection at the Circle of Friends and walked through the illuminated Redwood Grove with musical choreographed performances.

During Light in the Grove, Mario P. Diaz, a former National AIDS Memorial board member and longtime community relations leader with Wells Fargo, received the Lifetime of Commitment Award. Dario, who retired this year, held various positions within the Wells Fargo Foundation, managed the charitable philanthropic program and volunteerism for the greater San Francisco region.

In 1996, legislation by Pelosi was signed into law by President Bill Clinton, elevating “the Grove” as the nation’s sole federally-designated National AIDS Memorial. info: aidsmemorial.org.

— Compiled by Lainey Millen

2020 Call to Action Filing season underway

Beginning on Dec. 2 and continuing until noon on Dec. 20, North Carolinians who wish to run for local, state and federal offices can file with their local board of elections office or the state board in Raleigh to be a candidate, Carolina Public Press reported.

The North Carolina primary is set for March 3 rather than May to ensure the state’s presidential primary is in time to be relevant nationally, the news organization added.

LGBTQ individuals are encouraged to either run in a race or support progressive candidates in their pursuit.

For those not registered to vote at this time, the process is simple and can be done easily. Check with local elections offices for

6

qnotes

Dec. 13-26, 2019

how to become a “voice” in the election process. Also, when there are elections, get out to the polls and vote. Everyone who does helps to capture important seats across the governmental sector.

Visit ncsbe.gov to learn more.

MeckCounts 2020 Roundup

Next month, applicants for positions for the 2020 decennial will begin to be interviewed and hired for the upcoming operation that begins in March. For those who want to be part of the process, simply go online and fill out the application there. MeckCounts 2020 wants to have a complete count and your help is needed.

Visit census.gov and meckcounts2020.com for more information.

ENC holds end-of-year fundraiser

Equality North Carolina (ENC) began celebrating their #40DaysOfGiving on Nov. 22, which continues through the end of the year, during which time the organization has been posting a fact each day about the organization online. ENC is encouraging its supporters to give back to ENC and the communities they serve, from restaurant nights to drag shows to shopping at favorite retailers. For a few of these fundraisers, they are asking their supporters to showcase the “beauty of your diverse families by submitting your favorite photos of your kids and pets” to give@equalitync.org. Photos will be posted on the website and everyone can vote for their favorite picture by making a donation of at least $5. Special prizes will be given out for the photos with the most donations in both the kid and pet categories.

info: equalitync.org.

HIV resources expanded

HealthHIV has added two downloadable resources to its HIV Prevention Certified Provider program — the “HIV Prevention Protocols for Providers” and “PrEP Myths and Urban Legends.” Both are available within Module 4: Pre-exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) Clinical. They supplement the clinical and practical information provided in the module to assist providers in administering PrEP and educating their clients about HIV prevention.

info: hivpcpcertification.org. bit. ly/38h9cZg.

Gilead awards orgs

Leaders from Gilead Sciences, Emory University, and grantee non-profit organizations My Sistah’s House and Brotherhood, Inc. on Dec. 5 unveiled the names of recipients of $2.3 million of grants to organizations fighting HIV in the South. Local organizations from Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Texas, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina and Tennessee received the funds. Carolinas recipients are: AIDS Leadership Foothills-area Alliance, Inc. (ALFA), Circle of Friends Task Force, Latino Commission on AIDS, Positive Wellness Alliance, Gender Benders and the University of South Carolina Education Foundation. These new grants are the second installment for Gilead’s more than $100 million COMPASS Initiative. Despite being home to only 38 percent of the country’s population, the South accounted for 52 percent of new HIV diagnoses in 2017. Those in the South also face societal disparities— poverty, housing instability and food insecurity — that pose challenges which organizations working in those communities are best equipped to navigate.

info: gileadsciences.com.

Choruses ‘invade’ Christmas

GayCities reported that gay choruses have swept North America bringing their songs to usher in the holiday season. Nearly 90 “family” groups, made up predominately of men, spread Christmas (and Chanukah, too) cheer to audiences in their communities. Across the Carolinas music is presented by: Asheville Gay Men’s Chorus (“Sound the Trumpet”), One Voice Chorus (“Season to Remember”), Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte (“Dear December:), Midland Men’s Chorus (“GLOW”), Triad Pride Men’s Chorus (“Queerly Joyful”) and Triangle Gay Men’s Chorus (“Seasons of Love”).

info: bit.ly/2Pox2JY.

see News Briefs on 17

Legal group charges court to decide in favor of bathroom equal access ATLANTA, Ga. — On Dec. 5, Lambda Legal asked the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eleventh Circuit to affirm a lower court ruling holding that a Jacksonville, Fla., school district must treat transgender student Drew Adams equally by allowing him to use the restroom that matches his gender identity.

“All I ever wanted from my school was to be treated like any other boy, and to have the same opportunity to thrive and learn as my peers,” said Drew Adams, 19, a former student at Allen D. Nease High School in Ponte Vedra, Fla. “It’s frustrating and stigmatizing that I was singled out from my peers and treated as unfit to share common spaces with them. And now, on top of that, school officials insist on fighting in the courts to continue discriminating against transgender students like me. I hope my case sends a message to schools across the country that no transgender students should end up feeling stigmatized and humiliated like I did.”

In July, 2018, the U.S District Court for the Middle District of Florida ordered the St. John’s County School Board to allow Adams to use the boys’ restrooms at Nease High School, like all other boys. In December 2017, Adams’ case became the country’s first to have a trial involving a transgender student’s equal access to restrooms. After the district court’s order last July, the school district appealed to the Eleventh Circuit seeking to maintain its discriminatory policy, leading to the Dec. 5 oral argument.

“We asked the Court to affirm the trial victory that ruled that Drew must be allowed to use the boys’ restroom,” said Tara Borelli, counsel at Lambda Legal.

“The district court was very clear when it stated that the law requires that Drew be treated like every other boy. Discriminatory policies like the one here send Plaintiff Drew Adams, his mother Erica Kasper and Lambda Legal lawyers after oral argument outside the a message that transgender students like Drew are somehow less deserving 11th Circuit Court of Appeals. of the same safe, respectful learning environment than other children. As the district court found, schools must provide all students with equal treatment at school, including transgender students.”

Board’s discriminatory restroom policy sent a “purposeful message that transgender stu“I can’t believe that we had to go to court in the first place to defend my son’s dignity. dents in the school district are undeserving of the same privacy, respect, and protections As parents of a transgender kid, we are very supportive of our son because we understood afforded to other students.” early on that affirming and supporting him was the right thing to do for his wellbeing.”

Lambda Legal argued that the school district’s policy to exclude transgender students said Erica Kasper, Drew’s mother. “We don’t understand how any school thinks it’s okay to from the restrooms that matched their gender is unconstitutional because it discriminates discriminate against a child simply because they are transgender.” based on sex in violation of the Equal Protection clause of the Fourteenth Amendment, Adams was an honor student at Nease High School. Currently, he attends the and violates Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972. The district court ruled for University of Central Florida, where he’s studying psychology and political science with the Drew on both counts. goal of helping other LGBTQ youth.

For more information on the case, read the brief at bit.ly/2P26M9e.

Adams began living as a boy in 2015. He used the boys’ restroom when he started his Tara Borelli, Diana Flynn, Paul D. Castillo, Omar Gonzalez-Pagan and Taylor Brown are freshman year at high school without any incident. But, after an anonymous report was handling the matter for Lambda Legal. They are joined by Kirsten Doolittle of Aequitas made, he was told he could only use gender-neutral restrooms, which separated him from Counsel; and Jennifer Altman, Markenzy Lapointe, Shani Rivaux, Aryeh Kaplan, Richard Segal, his peers and treated him as “unfit” to share communal facilities with others.

Cynthia Robertson, William Miller, and Robert Boyd of Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman LLP. The case, Adams v. The School Board of St. Johns County, Florida, began in June 2017, info: lambdalegal.org. when Lambda Legal filed a lawsuit on behalf Adams arguing that St. Johns County School — Compiled by Lainey Millen

Dec. 13-26, 2019

qnotes

7

life

Orgs share their holiday wish lists Items Cover Broad Range of Needs

by Lainey Millen | qnotes staff Writer tions received. Of course, all organizations graciously and appreciatively accept monetary donations now and throughout the year. It does not have to be GivingTuesday in order to show support.

LGBTQ organizations accept items to support their work. (Photo Credit: Goffkein via Adobe Stock)

A

ll across the Carolinas, LGBTQ organizations come to the aid of those they serve. Many of them have small budgets, while others have other funding options available to them. But one thing that they all lack is a regular stream of items that are needed in order to serve those they represent.

This year, qnotes compiled a list of several organizations’ holiday wish lists.

Readers are encouraged to contribute when appropriate to these groups whose work would be enhanced by contribu-

8

qnotes

Dec. 13-26, 2019

alfainfo.org. alfacms@alfainfo.org 828-322-1447, ext. 226

ALFA Hickory, N.C. • Holiday gifts for children of those who are affected

by HIV/AIDS

Alliance of AIDS Services-Carolina Raleigh, N.C. • 5 gently used workstations • 2 new push brooms • 2 new industrial size mops • 2 new 45-55 gallon trash cans with lids • 2 new, smaller sized, broom/dustpan combos

aas-c.org. tiffany.hickman@aas-c.org 919-834-2437 Equality North Carolina Raleigh, N.C. • Projector — Optoma HD27E 1080p Home Cinema Projector with 3400 Lumens Varidesk — Proplus 30 • Printer — Epson Expression ET-2650 EcoTank Wireless Color All-in-One Small Business Supertank Printer with Scanner and Copier • Apple Desktop 21.5” equalitync.org. eshe@equalitync.org 919-829-0343 Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte Charlotte, N.C. • Two cases of bright white 20# copy paper (good quality, cost $70/case) • Six printer cartridge sets for Brother LC3029 (takes LC3029 XXL BK and LC30293PKS XXL color) • Gift certificates in any denomination to sheetmusicplus.com and jwpepper.com • Gift certificates in any denomination to Office Depot, Office Max, or other office supply store gmccharlotte.org.

director@gmccharlotte.org.

704-549-9202 House of Mercy Belmont, N.C. Facility Wish List Items include cookware, personal care products, vacuum, organizational containers/shelves, paper goods and more (amzn. to/2Luv8Gu) Residence Wish List •M eals and drinks (bottled juice, soda, Kool-Aid, Crystal Light, tea bags, Gatorade) • I ndividually wrapped snacks, fruit cups •P antry staples, canned foods •G ift cards (Wal-Mart, Ayrsley Grand Cinemas, Cook Out, Pizza Hut, Golden Corral, Tony’s Ice Cream, KFC, local restaurants) • Personal Care Products (Dove soap [bar or liquid], Dove body wash, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, triple-blade razors, Vaseline, Chapstick, flushable wipes) •C leaning products (liquid laundry and dish detergent, Clorox, Lysol, Mr. Clean) •H ousehold items (XL garbage bags, toilet paper, towels, washcloths, paper towels, hand sanitizer, Kleenex) see next page u

thehouseofmercy.org. development@thehouseofmercy.org 704-825-3000 North Carolina AIDS Action Network Raleigh, N.C. • Elton John AIDS Foundation endowment matching gifts (by Dec. 2020) up to $75,000 (challenge grant amount awarded) (bit.ly/NCAANendowment) • Advocate scholarship contributions (they are one-third to meeting their match and would welcome year-end gifts) ncaan.org. lee@ncaan.org.

919-914-0311 North Star LGBTQ Community Center Winston-Salem, N.C. • Non-perishable snacks for visitors, especially chips, cookies, soda, bottled water, tea and coffee (regular or K-cups) • Markers and acrylic paints for youth program crafts • Books for LGBTQ library (online purchase at bit.ly/NorthStarLib) • Other books with LGBTQ themes or authors, if published in the last 10 years northstarlgbtcc.com. northstarlgbtcc@gmail.com 336-893-9053 RAIN Charlotte, N.C. • Cash donations (carolinarain.org/donate) • Food for those who are homeless, in shelter, on fixed budget (snacks available to visitors) (amzn.to/2sSKiyU) carolinarain.org. n.smith@carolinarain.org 704-973-9818 Rainbow Support Group Spartanburg, S.C. • Business Cards • Brochures • Venue/Rental space • Group T-shirts • Office Supplies • Bracelets with group logo • Bumper stickers with group logo Operation Elf: • Blankets • Gloves • Toboggans • Sandwich bags • Travel soaps/hand sanitizer • Travel tooth paste • Tooth brushes • Wet Wipes • Supplies to make sandwiches • Crackers • Bottled water • Socks • Tampons/Pads rainbowsupportgroupsc.com. thersgsc@gmail.com 864-908-9364 Time Out Youth Center Charlotte, N.C. Life Essential Closet • Undershirts • Underwear • Socks • Ethnic Hair Care Products • Lotion • Cocoa Butter • Make Up Emergency Financial Assistance Program • 10-Ride CATS bus passes • 1-Ride CATS bus passes • Gift cards in $10 increments (Food Lion, Wal-Mart, Target, Uber, Lyft, Visa,

MasterCard) Youth Programs Gifts cards (Carowinds, movies, Apple Music, Google Play, Playstation, Xbox) Adopt-A-Child • Unwrapped gifts delivered to TOY by Dec. 18 for 16 youth (complete specific lists online at bit.ly/2qxSnZ6) for items such as boots, shoes, sneakers, clothing, hats, scarves, gloves, gift cards, bedding, etc.)

Adopt-A-Household • Select items from Smile.Amazon (select TOY as charity) for five new transition houses/apartments to help turn empty units into a home (amzn.to/38e5nDY, amzn.to/38a7wAB, amzn.to/38gfUOW, amzn.to/2LvH5eX, amzn.to/2PlTGm7) (Items must be ordered and shipped by Dec. 18.) timeoutyouth.org/holidaygiving. jrice@timeoutyouth.org 704-344-8335 Triad Health Project Greensboro, N.C. • Adult size hats, gloves and socks • Travel size toiletries/hygiene items (soap, shampoo, toothbrushes, toothpastes, disposable razors, shaving gel, menstrual supplies (pads/tampons), lotion) • Food pantry items, including: Grains and Starches Rice Grits (canister and packets) Oatmeal (canister and packets) Whole grain cereal Whole grain granola bars Crackers Pasta Mac & Cheese Proteins Canned chicken (in water) Canned salmon or tuna (in water) Canned meats Canned ravioli, macaroni and beef, or spaghetti Peanut butter Low sodium soups Vegetables Low sodium canned goods Tomato sauces, spaghetti sauce Canned beans (pinto beans, kidney beans, black eyed peas are favorites) Canned vegetables (especially things other than corn or green beans) Other Juices (100 percent juice, small cans or boxes) V-8 Juice Powdered milk Raisins or other dried fruit packets triadhealthproject.com. pbarger@triadhealthproject.com 336-275-1654 YouthSAFE Greensboro, N.C. • Art supplies (ex., colored paper, colored markers, etc.)

• Crafting supplies • Board games youthsafegso.org. youthsafeGSO@gmail.com [Ed. Note: qnotes has prepared this holiday wish list from submissions sent in from organizations for our readers. If readers will email editor@goqnotes.com with other listings (must have full name, address, phone number and website), qnotes will be happy to add them to the compilation online. List accuracy and integrity are vital. Please report any errors or changes that need to be made.]

Dec. 13-26, 2019

qnotes

9

a&e

Candy-colored Christmas An Interview with Randy Rainbow

BY Gregg Shapiro | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

L

ook out Mariah Carey! Randy Rainbow has released a Christmas album that rivals yours. “Hey Gurl, It’s Christmas” (Broadway Records) has everything you want to unwrap in a Randy Rainbow holiday recording. The title track, co-written

by Rainbow and Marc Shaiman, is seasonally sassy, combines a sense of humor with the spirit of the holidays. Rainbow’s take on “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” features Kathy Griffin and Alan Cumming playing his shrinks.

Norm Lewis joins Rainbow for the more straightforward “Merry Christmas Darling/What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve” medley, which is followed by the hilarious “My Favorite Things” parody number “Trump’s Favorite Things” featuring Trump impersonator John Di Domenico. And all of this is before Rainbow is joined by Lorna Luft on “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town.” Randy was kind enough to answer a few questions in advance of the release of the album.

Gregg Shapiro: Randy, what would you say are the challenges and rewards of writing a new Christmas song, such as the title track of your new holiday album “Hey Gurl, It’s Christmas?”

Randy Rainbow: I found limited challenges. It was only rewarding. It was exciting for me because I got to work with Marc Shaiman who is a great idol of mine. We sat in the room where he wrote “Hairspray” and “Smash” and “Mary Poppins Returns,” among other amazing things. It was really exciting. If there was a challenge…I originally set out to write the gayest Christmas song we possibly could, as I told Marc. I realized, as I was writing the lyrics, that I wanted to add some substance and some kind of angle to it. I ended up gearing it more towards my specific audience, which is like so many people, consumed with news and social media. It became my musical prescription to dial it back for the holidays and enjoy yourself a little bit.

GS: Being a Jewish songwriter yourself, why do you think so many of the best and most enduring Christmas songs, such as “White Christmas,” “The Christmas Song,” “Silver Bells,” “Winter Wonderland,” “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year,” “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer” and “I’ll Be Home For Christmas,” were written by Jewish composers?

RR: Because we know we’re going to get paid at the end [laughs]. It’s an interesting thing. As a Jewish writer person, I don’t know if I can be objective about that. For some reason it’s in our DNA that we write good Christmas music.

Maybe [it’s because] there’s no pressure. We’re kind of removed from it enough to just have a good time and write something that’s creatively satisfying. We’re not thinking about all of the other mishegas.

GS: The “Hey Gurl, It’s Christmas” album has a marvelous line-up of guest artists including Lorna Luft, Kathy Griffin, Alan Cumming, Norm Lewis and Trump impersonator John Di Domenico. What does it mean to you have that kind of artistic support?

RR: It’s amazing! That’s been one of the most thrilling parts

10

qnotes

Dec. 13-26, 2019

of getting some notoriety. Getting to connect with so many of my heroes. This was the first opportunity to present that in a concrete sort of way in that I got to collaborate with them. The fact that they all said yes as soon as I asked them was mind-boggling to me. These are people who have been heroes of mine for many years, so to be associated with them on any level is a thrill.

GS: Di Domenico can be heard on your brilliant parody song “Trump’s Favorite Things.” Have you heard from the Trump clan regarding any of your parodies of them?

RR: The actual Trump clan? I’ve not heard from anybody.

I’ve not even been blocked yet on Twitter, although I try every day. I have heard from some whistleblowers that I do have fans within the administration. I’m assuming it’s Melania, although I have no concrete evidence.

GS: You also perform a more straightforward renditions of “Merry Christmas, Darling/What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve?,” “Make Someone Happy” and “The Christmas Movie Medley.” How important was it for you to show that side of yourself?

RR: It was very important to me, but more important to my mother, who relishes mostly in the compliments that people like my singing. To have the opportunity to showcase a little more of the non-comedic part of that was very nice. Kind of my Hanukkah gift to her.

GS: I had the pleasure of catching your live show at Parker Playhouse in Fort Lauderdale in December 2018.

RR: My mother was there!

GS: You have a series of concert dates through January. What are the challenges and rewards of making the Randy Rainbow experience a live one?

RR: It was kind of a challenge at the beginning to figure out how we would translate this video experience that people were liking to the live stage. It was kind of easy for me because I started out onstage. As a kid, when I was in Florida, I was playing shows on the condo circuit and doing regional theater. I was familiar with that format. It was a challenge to find a team to work with me. I found my musical director, Jesse Kissel, who did a great job in taking the arrangements that I threw together for myself for the videos and turned them into live musical experiences. I have a great band, some of Broadway’s best musicians, behind me. It brought it to a new level and added a new layer to what I was already doing.

GS: At that concert, I purchased a Randy Rainbow for President 2020 T-shirt. What can you tell the readers about your platform as a candidate?

RR: My platform is really just selling merchandise. So, I’m glad it worked, and you bought a T-shirt. I don’t know if we really want me to run for president. You never know what could happen. To be slightly more serious, I hope that if I’m doing anything with these videos, it’s injecting a little bit of humor and levity into these dark times. I hope that people remember to laugh as much as possible.

GS: Finally, congratulations on having received a 2019 Emmy Award nomination in the category of Outstanding Short Form Variety Series. Is it, as they say, an honor just to be nominated?

RR: No, I should have won. [Laughs] James Corden is always stealing my shine. No, it was an honor and it was insane. I make these, I’ve made them for almost the last decade from my living room. To cut to the front row of the Emmys, sitting next to Jimmy Kimmel, and to have lost to James Corden was surreal and a thrill. But next year I better win! : :

Dec. 13-26, 2019

qnotes

11

views

A Two Thousand Year-Old Hanukkah Question Spiritual Reflections

BY Rabbi Eric Solomon | Guest Contributor

W

12

hen lighting the Hanukkah candles, should one start by lighting all eight candles on the first night and then decrease the number of candles each successive night, or should one start by lighting one candle and increase towards eight?

For Hillel and Shammai, two of the greatest rabbis in Jewish history, the world depended upon their answer.

Shammai took the “eight candles first” approach matching his worldview.

The world was once filled with light, he believed, but with each passing day it was steadily losing its shine.

Hillel took the opposite position. His view: The world, while far from perfect, would get better Hanukkah brings light into the world during the darkest time with time. of the year. (Photo Credit: Nina Mikryukova via Adobe Stock) Whose opinion should we follow? ing in a time with expanded tolerance, It depends. understanding and equality as seen in the More than 20 years ago, when I was a greater legal and social acceptance of the rabbinical school student, there were a sigLGBTQ+ community? Or, are we approachnificant number of LGBTQ+ students who ing a nadir as seen in the frightening were beginning to realize their dreams of uptick in anti-Semitic acts? becoming Jewish clergy. At that time, one The truth is, in every age, both pheof my most prominent seminary professors nomena exist at the same time. Our world refused to sign the ordination documents is constantly spiraling in ways that inof LGBTQ+ students. Gay marriage was crease the recognition of the Divine Image barely talked about as a serious legal posin every living being and, tragically, in ways sibility. Most politicians, including then Sen. that do exactly the opposite.

Obama, were formally against the legalizaSeeing both of these dynamics in tion of same-sex marriage. In the Jewish their era, Hillel and Shammai had to community, officiating at gay wedding make a choice. Should one see the world ceremonies was considered innovative to as traveling towards inevitable disaster some, but taboo to others.

(Shammai) or, as hard as it can be to see, Today, the world is remarkably difinching its way forward towards greater ferent. I remember when I performed perfection (Hillel)? my first wedding ceremony for two In the end, it came down to faith. Hillel, lesbian congregants, active leaders in our the winner of this holy debate, commands Southern congregation. There were ruus to light an ever-increasing number mors that some of the “older folks” might of candles because he believed that this bristle. “Get ready for some pushback,” I world can, and will, be better. was told. In the end, there was barely a As the great rabbi Maimonides taught, peep. One older congregant told me after “Even though the Messiah may tarry, still she heard about the ceremony, “It’s not I wait.” for me, Rabbi, but if they love each other This Hanukkah when you pass a and they are making a Jewish life together Hanukkiah and see an ever increasing — who am I to judge?” number of candles in the window, I invite And yet, 20 years ago, anti-Semitism you to remember Hillel’s great teaching. seemed like a relic for the history books.

The decision to bring more light into the When I learned in a yeshivah (Torah study world, against all odds, was a matter of academy) that the Talmud instructs a faith. rabbi to caution a potential convert, “Are Now, we must go forward and do the you sure you wish to make this choice holy work of spreading the light of love, given the fact that the Jewish people have kindness and tolerance, helping it to been oppressed and persecuted?” I nearly increase. scoffed at the question. To many the conWas Hillel right? The world is waiting, cern seemed antiquated and irrelevant. and depending on us for the answer.

After Charlottesville, Poway and Wishing all a light and faith-filled holiPittsburgh, who could possibly say that day season! : : now? Anti-Semitism, the age-old disease, never went away. It simply hid under the Rabbi Eric M. Solomon serves as the senior covers. clergy member for Beth Meyer Synagogue in So, what is the appropriate worldRaleigh, N.C. view for a person to take? Are we liv-

qnotes

Dec. 13-26, 2019

Finding Family and Community Spiritual Reflections

BY Rev. Eve Stevens | Guest Contributor

Realizing one’s uniqueness and sense of self as an LGBTQ person is important when it comes to feeling comfortable in the community of others. It also helps in feeling less alone and isolalted during the holidays. (Photo Credit: BenStudioPRO via Adobe Stock)

W

ith the holiday season upon us, family is more often on our minds. Our family is the first web of relationships, the first community we encounter through the tangled experience of growing up. Family gives us our first framework for how to understand the world, what values and actions to prioritize and how to relate to other people.

If you came out of a childhood that was difficult to survive or have spent your adult life dismantling the worldview your family taught in search of a more life-giving perspective — or if you came out of a loving, supportive hetero/cis centered upbringing — you may have needed to reimagine what family means as you created your own.

Nurturing a family is challenging, relentless, meaningful work. And LGBTQ families experience still another level of responsibility in addition to the basic routines and demands of family life.

That’s because, of course, the personhood of LGBTQ individuals is assaulted daily.

Sometimes as a result of hate speech and the experience of being treated as a perpetual outsider. Other times, simply by being erased or ignored as members of the human community — not represented in the literature assigned in school, advertisements in magazines, on the forms filled out before a healthcare visit, or basic signage on bathroom doors.

This adds to the LGBTQ family’s plate the more critical need to be a safe haven where each family member can show up as their full and true selves in a way they may not be able to experience outside of family life. Add to this the LGBTQ family’s never-ending work of building inroads and blazing trails within the hetero and cisnormative dominant culture, expanding and deepening what family looks like amidst clumsy questions, suspicion or disbelief from your child’s teacher, other parents, colleagues or your pediatrician.

None of this is easy to do on your own.

It’s true what they say that raising a family takes a village. As a faith leader, I work and

long for a day when every LGBTQ family finds a spiritual community that can hold them through the twists and turns, ups and downs of family life.

Many LGBTQ people may never feel safe attending a religious congregation.

Religious leaders have been among the most vocal naming anyone outside of the approved heteronormative, cisgender norm as an immoral threat to community.

It’s understandable if religious institutions are not the first place LGBTQ families turn when searching for the community that will support and nurture them through the demands of raising children and caring for elders in a complicated world.

But perhaps there’s still hope for finding spiritual community. I understand spiritual community to mean the place you can go that will remind you of what matters most. Spiritual community is the group of people who will witness the seasons of your life, weathering with you the times of heartbreak and loss, celebrating with you the times of wonder, joy and discovery. Spiritual community is the place that will constantly reawaken your awareness of your interdependence with all existence and the effect your actions have on other people and the earth. Spiritual community calls us to live by the standards set by love and compassion.

However you seek or stumble upon spiritual community, remember this holiday season that none of us were ever meant to navigate life’s journey alone — that’s doubly true when it comes to the internal and external demands of LGBTQ familyhood.

Wherever you are on your own journey of meaning-making, individually and as a family, my prayer for you this holiday season is that you find a spiritual community that can hold you through it all.

Blessings to you and yours! : : Rev. Eve Stevens serves as one of the ministers of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte.

Dec. 13-26, 2019

qnotes

13

life

Managing Your Fearful And Obsessive Thoughts Mental Health: Tips on Dealing with Negative Impressions

BY Stanley Popovich | guest WRITER

T

Remember that the difference between here are times when we encounter fearful an obsessive thought and a regular thought thoughts that can be difficult to manis that an obsessive thought is based on fear. age. For some people, the more they try With this in mind, try to find the source of to get rid of the thoughts, the stronger the the fear behind the thought. Once you find thoughts become and the more difficult they the source, learn to manage it. If you do, the become to manage. As a result, here is a thought becomes easier to deal with. brief list of techniques that a person can use Learn to challenge your negative thinking to help manage their fearful and obsessive with positive statements and realistic thinkthoughts. ing. When encountering thoughts that make The first thing a person must do is not to you fearful or depressed, challenge those dwell or focus on the fear-provoking thought thoughts by asking yourself questions that when it comes. The more a person tries to will maintain objectivity and common sense. reason out the thought or focus on the fear A person should keep a small notebook behind the thought, the stronger the thought of positive statements that makes them feel becomes. The next time you encounter an good. Whenever they come across a posiobsessive thought, get into the practice of not tive and uplifting verse that makes them feel dwelling on it. better, they should write it down. A person A person should visualize a red stop can then carry this notebook around in their sign in their mind when they encounter a pocket and whenever they feel anxious, they fear-provoking thought. When the negative can read the affirming words. thought comes, a person should think of a Although I am a Layman and not a profesred stop sign that serves as a reminder to sional, I have interviewed many counselors stop focusing on that thought and to think and I learned that there are many ways to of something else. A person can then try to Finding ways to manage feat and obsessive thoughts can bring about a more manageable deal with these kinds of thoughts. If you think of something positive to replace the and less negative-thinking existence. (Photo Credit: Marijus via Adobe Stock) have trouble, definitely seek the services of a negative thought. professional. : : Sometimes, a person may encounter a lot of scary thoughts coming at them all at Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s once. Instead of getting upset, remember gets us worked up. Ignore the fear behind these obsessive Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and that these thoughts are exaggerated and are not based on thoughts, regardless how strong the fear may be. If you Non Resistant Methods.” For more information, visit reality. From my interviews with various professionals, I’ve ignore the fear behind these thoughts, then the thoughts managingfear.com. learned that usually it is the fear behind the thoughts that become easier to manage.

a&e

‘Ian McKellen: A Biography’ Out in Print

BY Terri Schlichenmeyer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER “Ian McKellen: A Biography”

by Garry O’Connor ©2019, St. Martin’s Press $29.99 356 pages

A

ny old stick would do.

When you were a child, that’s what it took to become a wizard: a stick became a makeshift wand, an old towel turned into a cape, and you were ready for spell-making.

It worked for imaginations everywhere, although, as you’ll see in “Ian McKellen: A Biography” by Garry O’Connor, sometimes, reel magic helps, too.

On May 25, 1939, mere months before the beginning of World War II, Ian Murray McKellen made his debut into the world. The only son of parents who lived large, passionate lives, young McKellen grew up securely happy despite the War. Alas, that ended when his beloved mother died of cancer when McKellen was just 12 years old. As years passed, he always regretted that she

14

qnotes

Dec. 13-26, 2019

never knew about him what he knew about himself: he received his “first gay kiss” at age nine and understood even then that he preferred boys to girls.

Though his original plan was to graduate school and work as a journalist, McKellen was denied the chance and instead opted to attend Cambridge. There, others noticed that he had a great aptitude for Shakespearean acting; it was nurtured and a “most extraordinary explosion of talent happened.” His time at Cambridge helped him sharpen his craft; it was also there that McKellen lost his virginity to another man.

O’Connor says that McKellen is “a slow-progress stickler” and never minded using “modest roles” as stepping-stones; every role he played led to bigger parts on better-known stages in larger venues. In 1964, he landed a small part in a BBC-TV production as his first foray into

television, and he continued to eye a career in film — a career that “still eluded [him] until the late 1990s.” At that time, he was able to transition from stage to screen, fast racking up a Tony, a Golden Globe, a SAG award and an Oscar nomination.

And then a “quick perusal of the Marvel comics… caught his fancy.”

For readers who are wild about Shakespeare, “Ian McKellen: A Biography” will be a delight. Those who are not to be, however, may find this book quite tedious.

Author O’Connor, who’s known McKellen for decades, explains in his first chapter how this book came about, in opening words that are carefully off-the-cuff. That chumminess feels as if you’re real-time eavesdropping on a semi-scripted conversation between two friends.

Get past the account of McKellen’s early life, though, and much of the rest of this book is uber-deep into theater, with the occasional reminder of McKellen’s gayness in the narrative. Serious followers of British stage performances will find the former to be irresistible and the latter to make one feel like a close backstage insider.

Those who prefer McKellen’s later work might find this all mildly interesting, but far too extra until toward the end.

And so there’s the break-down: Theater fan, yes.

You’ll love “Ian McKellen: A Biography.” If you’re a fan of McKellen’s later movie career only, this book is okay if you can stick with it. : :

Your Paris Winter Getaway Queer Travelogue: Oui, Oui, It’s Gay Paris

W

BY Bill Malcolm | Guest Contributor Where to eat Grab coffee at Alma Coffee. Don’t ask for milk or cream in your coffee. The French don’t use it and don’t drink it (although they eat a lot of cheese).

Ma Bourgogne has great steak and fries (in the Marais).

inter is the perfect time to visit Paris.

The crowds are gone. The weather is not as cold as many U.S. cities. Since you will be spending a lot of time in museums, it does not matter anyway. Plus, Paris has a great gay scene and a gayborhood (The Marais).

Getting There I snagged a great low fare on Delta Airlines.

The service was exceptional — and everything was free. Free hot dinner and breakfast, free headsets, free blankets and pillows, free eyeshades and more.

Once in Paris, hop on the commuter rail to town, the RER-B then take the Metro to get to your hotel from the Gare du Nord Station.

Travel Tips • Your ATM card works at French banks and they don’t charge a withdrawal fee.

• Many of the museums are free the first Sunday of the month in the winter.

• Paris is seven hours ahead of Chicago so the jet lag is a hassle. Try to check into your hotel early but wait until 3 p.m. to take a nap. On the way home, stay up late at home to re-adjust.

• The Euro is worth slightly more than the U.S. dollar.

• Tips are included at restaurants.

• Buy a 10-ticket pack of Metro tickets and save.

• Turn off your phone and put it in airplane mode. Shut off all data for all your apps too.

Otherwise you will face roaming charges from French carriers which can be quite high. Most places have free Internet so you can stay connected that way.

• Most locals speak some English, but if you can, try to start the conversation in French.

Where to Stay I stayed at The Moxy, a new Marriott brand geared for millennials. The rate was very reasonable (it varied by day with one day at just 93 Euros or around $110). It is located near the Marais in the Bastille District and near no less than three Metro stations. You can walk to many of the major attractions or hop on the subway. Two nearby stores (Franprix) have everything you need including salad bars, hot sandwiches and a great selection of wine.

Nightlife The bars are mostly in the Marias. Bears will of course like the Bears’ Den. The Open Café serves food and is a lot of fun. Sly Bar has a great happy hour and karaoke on Mondays and Tuesdays. The Raidd bar has a shower show.

You can dance the night away at Le Depot.

What to do The first day I walked around the historic Marais District. Like many gayborhoods, it has been gentrified and is now full of high-end stores as well.

The second day I visited the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe, walked along the Seine River, and explored the shops of the ChampsElysees. Then I visited the new Leonardo da Vinci exhibit at The Louvre.

The third day included an exploration of the Natural History Museums, the zoo (Le Zoo du Jardin des Plantes), the Indoor Tropical Gardens, the Botanical Gardens, and a walk back to the hotel. There is also a farmer’s market on Sundays in the Bastille District where you can find local delicacies including pig’s feet, French cheeses, Paella and every kind of pastry and bread you could want.

For more information and travel ideas Paris has a number of LGBTQ publications all of which have city gay guides. Qweek has a lot of ideas especially for nightlife (Qweek.fr) along with maps of the neighborhoods. Strobo Magazine has a great map of the nightlife (strobomag.com). Tribu is another great publication also with a map.

ParisInfo.com has travel tips as well and you can visit them at the Hotel de Ville (City Hall) in the Marais.

You can’t beat a winter visit to gay Paree. : :

I liked the new Liberation Museum (Musee de la Liberation de Paris) which chronicles the German occupation of France.

Day four had my sightseeing visits to Montmartre and the Sacred Heart Cathedral. There were great views of Paris. Be sure and visit the Montmartre Museum as well and the associated Renoir Gardens.

Bill Malcolm is the nation’s only syndicated LGBTQ value travel columnist. He resides in Indianapolis, Ind. and his column is or has been run by LGBTQ publications in Indianapolis, Chicago, TampaOrlando, Miami-Ft. Lauderdale, Detroit, Washington, Raleigh, Charlotte, and Palm Springs and also found on the IGLTA travel blog. He received no compensation of any kind from any of the places visited (nor airlines nor hotels). His opinions are his own.

Dec. 13-26, 2019

qnotes

15

a&e

So Your Husband Wants To Do Drag Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Hello Trinity, Suddenly, out of nowhere, my husband wants to do drag. Is there anything I can say to change his mind?

Drag Dramas, Austin, TX Hello Drag Dramas, It seems like every once in a while a straight or gay guy wants to crossdress or do drag. And even once in a while, that same guy later on decides to become a

drag artist — which is as rare as someone wanting to be an astronaut after being trapped in a bubble for a week. Darling, if you must tell him something tell him, “I’m ready if you are!” Because once he takes two hours in make-up, an hour getting dressed, then spends a night in heels, hose and a girdle, don’t worry, he’ll be worshipping high tops and carpenter pants as quick as you can say, “Down in front, soldier.”

Not to worry, Trinity Dearest Trinity, I’m a respectable woman, but I’m in a disrespectable situation. I’m dating two women at once, and it’s almost a year. They both live in different parts of the country — that’s how I’ve kept it going. Now, they both want to move in with me. Help!

Three’s Company, Detroit, MI Dearest Three’s Company, How thrilling and dangerous! How selfish and crazy! I have two words for you: honesty and decisions. First, tell the one you like the least, what you’ve done and see if she says, “I love you anyway.” Then tell her you’ll call her right back. Right after that, quickly call the one you really like and tell her the same

qomunity

qonexions

space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

16

qnotes

Dec. 13-26, 2019

thing. If she dumps you, then your decision is made. If she says, “I love you no matter what,” then end it with the first woman by either paying her off or lovingly letting her go. Either way, sweetie, you end up h ­ onest and left with one woman to love and hold and... oh God, my head is spinning. (Hang on tight because you might get totally dizzy in this anxiety-producing process as you can see in my cartoon. Or you could feel like you are falling into a vortex. Either way, it’s a dilemma, for sure!)

Good Luck, Trinity

enraged so easily now. How do I keep my relationship from exploding?

Sincerely, Too Big Too Fast, Savannah, GA

Dear Trinity, I’m affectionate, but my boyfriend is overly affectionate in public. We live in a small town, and I don’t always feel safe as an openly gay couple. What do I do?

Yours, Suburbiaphobia, St. Louis, MO

1. Force yourself to be more understanding.

2. Try to support him even when it’s not easy!

3. If he needs steroids, you need therapy!

Right away!

4. Let him know how difficult it is for you.

5. Do impressions of him so he knows what he acts like.

6. Get yourself a medical marijuana card until it’s over.

7. Destroy the alcohol. Alcohol with steroids turns Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde.

8 Move into your guest room until the cycle’s over.

9. Make him sign a will, in case you kill him.

10. A nd, lastly, when it’s over, you may get a big hulking surprise (with pimples).­: :

Dear Suburbiaphobia, I’m a true advocate of being out and living fearlessly. Yet, I also believe in living safely and strategically. While being openly affectionate may not always be safe, it may be executed strategically. Try being affectionate in private spots in public places. Also, visit gay-friendly places like P-town where holding hands is commonplace and will help you feel better. And if you’re still nervous, then take self-defense classes… seriously.

Eventually, pumpkin, we all must face our fears in order to make them disappear!

Be safe but free, Trinity Trinity, My partner started taking steroids. It’s making us fight more than ever. He gets

Dear Too Big Too Fast, Steroids makes one look like a beast and act like one too. Honey, he’s obviously reading too many muscle mags, or is in a mid-life crisis. Before moving out, read:

Trinity’s Strong Tips For Dealing With Your Man Who Is Taking Steroids

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

news News Briefs

continued from page 6

Hallmark gets movie petition

The conservative LifeSite has circulated a petition asking Hallmark “not to produce LGBT movies for Christmas, or generally.” It has now received over 25,000 signatures. The initiative was mounted due to an interview that a Hallmark executive gave to TheWrap. com which stated that the channel’s Vice President of Programming Michelle Vicary said that they were looking at pitches for LGBTQ movies. LifeSite said that petitions like the one mentioned, demonstrate little demand for LGBTQ-themed Christmas movies.

The news site also said: “As the petition also says, there’s another big reason Hallmark should not cave in to the LGBT indoctrination mob: the LGBT activists will never be satisfied. They will always want Hallmark to be pushing more and more aberrant views and characters. That doesn’t sound like a fun Christmas movie at all!”

info: bit.ly/2DVs16g.

Pageant sees first out contestant

The Miss Universe Pageant System had its first LGBTQ contestant at its recent competition. Swe Zin Htet from Myanmar came out as a lesbian days before the pageant got underway.

info: bit.ly/2Yuvv9j.

Gay bishop elected

Rev. Deon Johnson was elected as the next bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Missouri, The Associated Press reported. The clergy member is openly gay and has a passion for “social justice and inclusion.” He and his husband who live near Detroit, Mich., have two children.

Alphonso David said that he “strongly oppose[s]” the act because it “sells LGBTQ people short and erodes existing protections under federal civil rights law.

info: bit.ly/2sRiLh9.

Rye cohort names participants

Equality North Carolina has selected its six LGBTQ youth for their Rural Youth Empowerment fellowship for 2020. The year-long program includes one-on-one mentorship, among other opportunities.

Those chosen and their project focus are: Hailey Ruby Hernandez (18), creation of a collaborative zine that forges a safe space for LGBTQ individuals; Liam Waller (20), focus on LGBTQ liberation; Paola Michelle Medina Villalon (19), creation of an effective academic network of support for minorities and other statistically disadvantaged groups as they apply to college; Rebecca Snavely (28), work centers on the needs of rural queer youth and will work with local businesses and healthcare providers to produce a Tri-County LGBTQ+ Community Resource Guide for the support of queer youth and adults alike in their region; Gray Rodgers (24), project focus on connecting younger and older queer folks in the community and addressing the needs of the aging LGBTQ population; and Asher Warg (20), focus on creating meaningful space for transgender and gender nonconforming folks on his college campus and growing the number of accessible resources available to professors, administration and medical professionals.

info: equalitync.org.

info: bit.ly/352IUIe.

Lauper nets global award

On Dec. 10 at her Home for the Holidays concert, Cyndi Lauper received the inaugural High Note Global Prize for her work for LGBTQ youth which was presented by the United Nations Human Rights and the High Note Global Initiative, The Advocate reported from an announcement in Rolling Stone.

info: bit.ly/2YAJjPB.

Alt act proposed by Republicans

The Republican and Mormon Church-backed Fairness for All Act, a counter measure or so-called compromise legislation, was introduced in the U.S. House by Rep. Chris Stewart from Utah. Unlike the Equality Act, this version allows for anti-LGBTQ discrimination from religious institutions and small-business wedding vendors, The Washington Blade reported. Human Rights Campaign President

Dec. 13-26, 2019

qnotes

17

events December 14 Genderlines Holiday Potluck Friendsgiving

December 13-22 ‘Camelot’

Burning Coal Theatre’s Murphy School Auditorium 224 Polk St., Raleigh Times Vary Burning Coal Theatre will perform the Lerner and Loewe classic musical “Camelot” based on the book “The Once and Future King.”

Tickets are available online or by phone at 919-834-4001. burningcoal.org.

December 13-22 Magic of Christmas & The Singing Christmas Tree

Knight Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

Charlotte’s two favorite holiday traditions, the Charlotte Symphony and Carolina Voices, join forces to bringing a joyful celebration for the season. Tickets start at $19 and are available online. bit.ly/35zQFoD.

December 13-23 Charlotte Ballet – ‘Nutcracker’

Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte.

7:30 p.m.

Join the Sugar Plum Fairy on a fantastical journey through the Land of Sweets in this beloved family tradition! Performed live by Charlotte Symphony with choreography by Jean–Pierre Bonnefoux.

Tickets range from $25-$122 and are available online. bit.ly/33bJKjV.

December 14 Nightmare Before Christmas: Drag Trivia Night

New Faith Metropolitan Community Church 4105 Patsy Dr., Winston-Salem 7 p.m.

Enjoy this end-of-year fundraiser for the church with drag performers Love Lee, Sir Jayvion, Chardonnay and Miss Phil. Food trucks onsite.

Participate solo or in teams for prizes. Admission is $5. bit.ly/2OZKAMO.

December 14 2019 Queen City Christmas Expo

The Carole Hoefener Center 615 E 6th St., Charlotte 1 p.m.

Queen City Christmas Expo is an all-free Christmas event for all.

Take pictures with Santa Claus, enjoy free gift-wrapping stations, entertainment and a toy giveaway. bit.ly/2QVFGCf.

18

qnotes

Pure Pizza 1911 Central Ave., Charlotte 3-6 p.m.

Genderlines hosts a holiday potluck gathering and invites the entire LGBTQ and allied communities and will provide turkey, ham and tofurkey. Guests are asked to bring sides and desserts. RSVP requested online at bit.ly/2QK0V9I. genderlines.org.

December 14 Holiday Wish Gala

Midtown Ballroom 1133 Metropolitan Ave., Charlotte 7 p.m.

The Holiday Wish Gala is a fundraising event that provides the opportunity for the LGBTQ community to raise funds specifically for non-profit organizations that do the most with the least. This year’s benefactors are 360 Center for Youth Development and the LGBTQ Committee of the NC NAACP. Tickets are available online. bit.ly/2WXTcGa.

December 15-19 ‘A Christmas Carol The Musical’

McGlohon Theater at Spirit Square 345 N. College St., Charlotte 7 p.m.

Charles Dickens’ classic Christmas ghost story, has been turned into a Christmas musical. blumenthalarts.com.

December 15 Charlotte GayList Jingle & Mingle Holiday Christmas Party

Ascent Uptown Apartments 225 S. Poplar St., #2310, Charlotte 7 p.m.

Charlotte GayList is hosting their holiday mingle party, catered by Something Classic. There will also be an open vodka bar. For more information and to RSVP, visit Charlotte GayList on Meetup. bit.ly/2qzeBKf.

December 15 Stocking Stuffing for the Hope Center

Pullen Open Table United Methodist Church 824 N. Bloodworth St., Raleigh 11:30 a.m.

Join the LGBT Center of Raleigh and help decorate and stuff stockings for young people aging out of foster care in Wake County. These stocking will be filled with items they will need to transition into adulthood. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

December 16 Charlotte Elders Holiday Party: Appetizer and Dirty Santa Exchange

Time Out Youth Center 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte 6:30 p.m.

Bring your favorite appetizer/hors d’oeuvres and a gift for the Dirty

Dec. 13-26, 2019

December 2019

Submit your events: editor@goqnotes.com

Santa Gift Exchange. Must RSVP and complimentary wine and beverages will be served. Check online for more information about the gift exchange or donation. bit.ly/2DWmEUl.

December 15 Charlotte Pride Band: ‘Songs For the Holidays’

Park Road Church 3900 Park Rd., Charlotte 4 p.m.

Charlotte Pride Band presents Songs for the Holidays. This will be a full ensemble concert with musical selections that will vary. Tickets are $15 and are available online or at the door. charlotteprideband.org.

December 15 Holiday Cantata and Bake Sale

Metropolitan Community Church of Charlotte 7121 Orr Rd., Charlotte 10:30 a.m.

Join Pastor Paul Whiting and the MCC congregation for their annual cantata and bake sale. Meet up with old friends and meet new ones. mymcccharlotte.org.

December 20 Plaza Midwood Running of the Balls 5K Run

Resident Culture Brewing Company 2101 Central Ave., Charlotte 7:15 p.m.

Plaza Midwood’s third annual 5k run for all ages through the historic Plaza Midwood neighborhood.

T-shirts available for purchase and are not included in the racing fee.

Fees and packet information available online. bit.ly/38jeL9m.

December 20 Charlotte Gay List Goes to the Movies

December 17: Lindsey Stirling — Warmer in the Winter Tour

“Warmer in the Winter” is the fourth studio album and first Christmas album by violinist and composer Lindsey Stirling. Enjoy the classics and some new songs for the whole family. Ovens Auditorium, 2700 E. Independence Blvd., Charlotte. 7:30 p.m. ticketmaster.com. meals, showers and more. Cost is $25 and includes brunch. Tickets are available online. bit.ly/2sYeOHJ.

December 21 Imani MCC Candle Light Christmas Concert

Imani Metropolitan Community Church Ministry Center 3602 C-View St., Durham 7 p.m.

Wear your Christmas colors and join MCC with music, refreshments and special guest pastor Rev. Vance Haywood in celebrating a Christmas Candle Light Concert.

Special guests are St. John’s MCC. imanimcc.org.

December 21 Greensboro Symphony: FOX8/Old Dominion Holiday Concert

Ayrsley Grand Cinema 9110 Kings Parade Blvd., Charlotte 9:15 p.m.

Join Charlotte Gay List at the movies to watch the “epic, dramatic, and definitive conclusion” to the “Skywalker Saga” of “Star Wars” films. Purchase tickets through Fandango as early as possible in order to get seating with the group. bit.ly/34h2Zdj.

Greensboro Coliseum Complex 1921 W. Gate City Blvd., Greensboro 7:30 p.m.

Celebrate the holiday season with the Greensboro Symphony featuring holiday music plus a special appearance by Jeremy Abbott, fourtime U.S. champion and U.S. Olympic bronze medalist. Admission and parking are free with a donation of a non-perishable food item (3 plus) for the Salvation Army. greensborosymphony.org.

December 21 Holiday Drag Brunch

December 24 Feast of the Nativity

St. John’s Metropolitan Community Church 622 Maywood Ave., Raleigh 11 a.m.

Join drag performers Naomi Dixx (host), Tatianna Matthews, Satine Allure, The Woman Currently Known As Prince, Lena Miliana, Vyki Z LaRoxx, Ariana Michelle, Lola Carmichael, Veronica St. Taylor and Jazmine Brooks as they raise funds for St. John’s community center in holiday style. The center serves hundreds of people weekly with things such as food, clothing, warm

St. John’s Metropolitan Community Church 622 Maywood Ave., Raleigh 6:30 p.m.

St. John’s welcomes the community to the annual Feast of the Nativity which includes an evening of carols, worship, lessons of the Christmas Story and time for reflection and meditation. Imani Metropolitan Community Church’s Rev. Annie Ross will speak. A reception takes place between 5:30-6:30 p.m. A cookie exchange follows the service. stjohnsmcc.org.

December 27-28 Time Out Youth Lock In

Time Out Youth Center 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte 8 p.m.- 8 a.m.

Time Out Youth is having an end-of-the-year slumber party with games, food, and movies for LGBTQ youth. This event is open to participants of Time Out Youth Center, ages 13-20. Space is limited and participants must register through Eventbrite. bit.ly/2Lxa4iF.

December 27 ‘A Charlie Brown Christmas’

Ovens Auditorium 2700 E. Independence Blvd., Charlotte 7 p.m.

Everyone’s favorite holiday cartoon comes to life, in a live performance of “A Charlie Brown Christmas.” boplex.com.

December 28 Charlotte Symphony ‘Cirque de Noel’

Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

The circus meets the symphony for “Cirque de Noel” this season.

Listen to the holiday classics while watching acrobatic, contortionist and juggling acts. Tickets start at $19 and are availabale online. bit.ly/2QIEjXn.

December 31 Watch Night Service

Imani MCC 3602 C-View St., Durham 10 p.m.

The community is invited to enjoy praise, worship and testimonies.

The last preached word of the year will be from Rev. Annie Ross and the new preached word for the New Year will be from Senior Pastor Marilyn Bowens as the church welcomes her back from sabbatical. imanimcc.org.

life

REGULAR EVENTS

Our People: Erin Goldstein

Charlotte LGBT Chamber

Regular business meetings, social events and other activities throughout the year. Days and times vary. info: clgbtcc.org.

HIV Support Group

Dudley’s Place at Rosedale Medical holds support groups for HIV positive individuals every other Tuesday at 6 p.m., Rosedale Medical, 103 Commerce Centre Dr., Suite 103, Huntersville. Call Dudley’s Place at 704-977-2972 for dates and more information or follow on Facebook and Instagram for updates. info: rosedaleid.com.

PFLAG Concord/Kannapolis

Meets for monthly group support meetings, second Tuesday of each month, 7-9 p.m., Trinity United Church of Christ, 38 Church St. N., Concord. info: bit.ly/1pCFVBq.

PFLAG Gaston

Meets for monthly support meetings, third Thursday of each month, 7 p.m., St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 258 W. Franklin Blvd., Gastonia. info: pflaggaston.org.

Prime Timers

Monthly meeting including dinner, speaker, games and more for gay men ages 21 and up, 5-7 p.m., Park Road Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, 3900 Park Rd., Charlotte. info: primetimersww.com/charlotte/.

Stonewall Sports

Regular team sports, meet-up, social and service events throughout the year. Days and times vary. info: stonewallcharlotte.leagueapps.com.

Trans Youth Group

Time Out Youth Center hosts weekly discussion groups for transgender youth ages 13-20 each Thursday, 4:306 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org.

UPDATES/ADDITIONS?

Do you have a regular and reoccurring community event you’d like listed? A listing to update? Email us at editor@ goqnotes.com.

Mom, Small Business Owner, Advocate

T

BY Mykah Buff | QNotes Staff Writer

ime Out Youth Center (TOY) Board Chair Erin Goldstein is a native Charlottean who has a passion for family and adventure.

In her downtime from work and being a mom and wife, she and her business partner and best friend, Malone, operate a T-shirt business promoting LGBTQ pride in the Charlotte, N.C. area.

How did your position as board chair at TOY come about?

A very good friend of mine, Steven Wilson, approached me while we were out one night and asked if I was interested in interviewing. At that point in my life, it was time that I started to give back to the community, so I jumped at the chance. I started on the board as a general board member in 2013 and then started taking bigger leadership positions within that year on the board. I have served as the secretary, vice board chair and now board chair. I was voted in by the Board of Directors in 2018 and will serve until June 2020. It has been one of the greatest experiences of my life.

What do you consider to be the most rewarding part of your position at Time Out Youth?

The most rewarding part of my position at Time Out Youth has been being able to see the growth of the organization. To think that when I started we had just moved from a church basement and now we own a building is mind blowing to me. It has been a great honor to be able to raise funds to support our current and future youth. I can see the changes that the youth experience when they are involved in our programs and Time Out Youth is truly a lifesaving and life-changing organization.

Describe your experience of being an openly-lesbian professional as the membership director at Temple Israel?

I have a very fortunate coming out story. When I came out of the closet, I was accepted by my family, friends and community with open arms. That has directly helped me in my position at Temple Israel. We are an open and accepting congregation, and I feel completely at home and myself in my work environment, which is a first for me. In my past, working in the community mental health field as a social worker, I really struggled with being able to be out, confident and secure in my work environment. Since switching careers, I have not struggled with this at all, and I am grateful to be a part of a community that loves me, my wife and our son.

How has your experience of being a diverse family been?

My experience as being a lesbian and having a baby has been really great. My wife and I met many years ago and then got together in 2011. We knew that we wanted a child, and we took the steps to being able to be parents. We live in a fairly diverse area. We have other LGBTQ friends with children, so I do not feel that we have met much adversity when it comes to raising a child in a diverse family. We have been extremely lucky, but we also refuse to surround ourselves with close-minded individuals. We don’t have time or tolerance for that.

Amanda and I have been lucky to make our own “framily” and safe

community for our child to grow up in.

Tell us about your T-shirt company, Yas Queen.

I am lucky enough to live next to my best friend, Malone and her husband, Rafe.

Malone and I went to high school together, (clockwise, left to right) Jude (age 3,) and then we reconAmanda Vestal and Erin Goldstein nected as adults about 10 years ago. Since reconnecting, we have served on the board of Time Out Youth together, share the same friends and now share a backyard. One morning we were talking and said “we should make a gay owned T-shirt company that represents Charlotte.” Malone and I are both Charlotteans and love this city. We wanted to be able to be represented as members of the LGBTQ community and Charlotte is the “QUEEN CITY.” So from there Yas Queen Industries was born.

We are very lucky to partner with Action Plus, a local company, that produces our T-shirts. Our friend and fellow member of the LGBTQ community Penny Mann designs our awesome shirts (#yasqueencity.) Malone and I maintain a business online, sell shirts in the White Rabbit and then gear up for Pride in CLT every year. We just wanted to make a product that represented the large LGBTQ community in Charlotte and show our own PRIDE for CLT. Where did you and your wife meet?

Amanda and I met through a mutual friend when I was getting my undergraduate and then a Master’s degree in social work at UNCC. When we met, we were just friends, as we both were in a relationship. When we both were single, she sent me a message on Facebook with a “smiley face,” and the rest was history. Amanda was my first gay friend in Charlotte. Sometimes, these things are just meant to be.

Describe you and your wife’s marriage proposal. Who proposed to whom?

Amanda proposed to me… kind of. We were celebrating our first holiday season living together and we were cleaning up getting ready for a big New Year’s Eve Party and I saw a box and opened it… There was a lovely ring in there, and I couldn’t process what was going on. Amanda then asked and I obviously said yes. I will note, however, I knew after the first date that she was “my person.”

What are three words that describe you?

Outgoing, honest, and passionate. : : Read our extended profile online at goqnotes.com/64459.

Dec. 13-26, 2019

qnotes

19

20

qnotes

Dec. 13-26, 2019