QNotes, December 14, 2018

Dec. 14-27, 2018

qnotes

1

2

qnotes

Dec. 14-27, 2018

inside this issue

Dec. 14-27, 2018 Vol 33 No 17

connect

feature

goqnotes.com

twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

7

contributors this issue

Buff Faye, Torie Dominguez, Jack Kirven, Lainey Millen, Rev. Dr. Joan M. Saniuk, Terri Schlichenmeyer, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: Denise S. Trupe

Holiday Wish Lists

Spiritual Reflections: Home for the Holidays

news 4 4 4 4 5 5

Spending time at home during the festive season can be challenging, especially for those in the LGBTQ community. Finding a peaceful place to hang out takes planning.

Pastor nets grant Arcus opens grant apps Chamber names awardees News Briefs Book tackles diversity LGB less likely to have guns

PAGE 13

Mission:

Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, x201, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Copy Editor: Torie Dominguez, torie@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2018 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction.

Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

a&e 8 Dishing with Buff Faye 11 ‘Wizard of Oz’ in the Queen City 16 Out in Print:

‘Perfectly Clear’ 17 Tell Trinity

Charlotte native and owner of the Morehead Inn and the VanLandingham Estate shares his thoughts on business, parenting, community service and more.

PAGE 19

life 10 19

Holiday Hosting Tips Our People: Billy Maddalon

views 13

Spiritual Reflections: Home for the Holidays

events charlotteobserver.com/1166/ a local news partner of The Charlotte Observer

Our People: Billy Maddalon

18 CLT Comicon Winter Show 18 Pearl and The Charlotte Holding Company

SUBSCRIBE!

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBTQ and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBTQ life and social justice issues.

These rates only cover a portion of our true cost, however, our goal is to serve our community Mailed 1st class from Charlotte, NC, in sealed envelope.

Subscription Rates:

☐ 1 yr - 26 issues = $48 ☐ 1/2 yr - 13 issues = $34

Mail to: P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222

______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ name:

______________________________________________________ address:

state: zip: ______________________________________________________ city:

☐ mastercard ☐ visa ☐ discover ☐ american express ______________________________________________________ credit card – check one:

card #: exp. date: ______________________________________________________ signature:

Dec. 14-27, 2018

qnotes

3

BRIEFS

news MCC pastor nets grant to for LGBTQ, HIV prisoners SARASOTA, Fla. — Rev. Martha Daniels, pastor at Holy Covenant Metropolitan Community Church in Brookfield, Ill., was among those selected to receive a 2019 Pastoral Study Project (PSP) grant from the Louisville Institute. Rev. Daniels’ grant advocates for LGBTQ/HIV prisoners, in a project entitled, “Until We Are All Free: Spiritual Advocacy With LGBTQ+ Prisoners.”

“The prophet Micah says ‘Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with the Divine.’ Any examination of current-day U.S. prison policy demonstrates a lack of justice for all caught in it, most especially for LGBTQ+ individuals,” said Rev. Daniels. “Together with a LGBTQ+ person on the inside, we will formulate theological statements that elucidate the spiritual experiences of incarcerated LGBTQ+ people.”

Through its PSP program, the Louisville Institute enables pastoral leaders to “bracket” daily work routines in order to pursue a pressing and significant question for the life of faith. Grants of up to $15,000 support independent or collaborative study projects. PSP grantees use a variety of platforms to share what they learn with a wider audience, extending their leadership in ways that benefit the broader church and culture in North America.

“Rev. Martha Daniels’ project will have an impact beyond the specific population in her study. The focus on LGBTQ+/HIV+ prisoners, their spiritual needs, and future integration into society, will supply a vulnerable population with compassionate and relevant assistance,” said Rev. Elder Rachelle Brown, interim moderator of Metropolitan Community Churches.

“We are grateful to the Louisville Institute for cultivating the ingenuity of pastoral leaders.”

Rev. Daniels said people caught up in the U.S. criminal legal system are marginalized based on race, immigration status, economic class — and also because of their gender identity and sexual orientation. LGBTQ/HIV individuals of all races and ethnicities are assaulted at higher rates than any other group. They also face more significant charges and receive longer sentences for the same charges than non-LGBTQ/HIV individuals.

“Many progressive faith communities are supportive of the LGBTQ+/HIV+ community — working for marriage equality, for secondparent adoption, for trans rights, for workplace rights and for healthcare equality. Many such communities have been equally supportive of prisoners — leading educational programs, assisting with re-entry programs, housing, employment, and offering community support,” Rev. Daniels said.

“This grant is designed to help educate progressive faith communities to bridge the gap and support LGBTQ+/HIV+ prisoners of all faiths through providing transformative theological and worship space. We will create ways to help faith communities of good will understand how to partner with LGBTQ+ people on the inside to spiritually support and encourage them, both while they are inside and as they re-integrate to the outside community,” Rev. Daniels said.

Louisville Institute is funded by the Religion Division of Lilly Endowment and based at Louisville Presbyterian Seminary, Louisville, Ky. info: louisville-institute.org/awards/pastoral-study-project.

— Lainey Millen

Arcus opens social justice grant apps NEW YORK, N.Y. — The Arcus Foundation published a Request for Concepts, the initial step in a streamlined process for organizations to apply for Arcus funding to support LGBTQ social justice work. Other calls will be announced periodically.

The Request for Concepts represents a shift from a rolling application process to an open call model, driven by grantee feedback and by the organization’s commitment to improving access to their funding — not only for current and past grantees, but also for groups that have had no previous connection with Arcus. The foundation believes that the process will provide “greater clarity and transparency about Arcus’ strategy and grant-making decisions and result in more focused, long-term funding and collaboration.”

The process aims to identify a strategic mix of long-term grantees who can contribute to advancing Arcus’ shared goals and are willing to participate in informal and ongoing coordination with other grantees supported by Arcus.

As Arcus extends its geographic reach, they will explore ways to support applicants whose primary language is not English. At this time, they will make Request for Concepts and applications available in both English and Spanish.

The deadline for responses to this open call is Jan. 22, 2019. info: arcusfoundation.org. bit.ly/2UyRlWI. — Lainey Millen

Chamber names gala awardees CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce has announced this it will honor business leaders and professionals from the area at its “Shimmer, shine…success!” annual meeting and awards gala on Dec. 18, 6:30 p.m., at the Westin Hotel, 601 S. College St. Special guest for the evening will be Kendra Johnson, executive director of Equality North Carolina, and Moira Quinn, chief operations officer of Center City Partners. Jesse Milicevic will serve as emcee for the evening.

Attendees will be able to enjoy hors d’oeuvres, beverages, dancing and music and entertainment by All The Right Grooves.

During a short business meeting, the following awardees will be recognized for their achievements and contributions to the community: Corporate Partner of the Year, Wells Fargo; LGBTQ Business of the Year, Paul Kelly, owner, Praesulis, LLC; Emerging Entrepreneur, Ciara Lilly, owner, Higher Ground Consulting; Ally Professional of the Year, Jen Carbuto, art director, Intrigue Graphics; Non-Profit of the Year, Charlotte Business Resources; LGBTQ Professional of the Year, Matt Stone, owner, Matt Stone Real Estate Team; Advocate of the Year, Rubie Britt-Height, director of communications, Mint Museum; Donaldson J. King Impact Award, Allyson Siegel, president, Tru-Pak; and Teresa L. Davis Legacy Award, Dianna Ward, owner, Charlotte NC Tours, executive director, Charlotte B-Cycle.

In addition to showcasing the awardees, the chamber’s board of directors will also announce its newly elected 2019-2020 members.

The organizational strategy for the upcoming year will also be shared.

Tickets are $60/members and $85/non-members and are available online at eventbright.com/shimmer-shinesuccess-tickets-52896568059. info: clgbtcc.org.

— Lainey Millen

4

qnotes

Dec. 14-27, 2018

HRCC gala date announced

The Human Rights Campaign Charlotte has announced that the 24th Annual North Carolina Gala & Silent Auction, “This is Me!,” will be held on Feb. 23, 2019 at the Le Méridien Hotel in Charlotte, N.C. Tickets are on sale now online.

info: hrccarolina.org.

Org makes holiday brighter

ReachOUT NC has chosen to adopt “the whole big family” of Haven House for the holidays and will provide holiday cheer to its residents with homemade tree ornaments and gifts. Volunteers will meet on Dec. 15 to craft the tree decorations and wrap presents supplied by contributors via a wish list. More information is provided online on this service opportunity. Check the website for others coming up in the new year.

info: reachoutnc.org.

PFLAG to hold holiday party

PFLAG Greensboro will hold its annual covered dish holiday party on Dec. 18, 6:30 p.m., at College Park Baptist Church at the corner of Aycock St. and Walker Ave. The organization will provide the protein and beverages. Attendees are asked to bring a side dish and serving utensil to share.

info: pflaggreensboro.org.

Lesbian couple provides NYC tree

Shirley Figueroa and Lissette Gutierrez, a same-sex married Latinx couple, donated a 72-foot Norway Spruce from their home in Walkill, N.Y. to be used as the centerpiece at Rockefeller Center.

info: bit.ly/2E6ploA.

Murphy ready to kick ‘em out

NewNowNext reported that television producer Ryan Murphy is taking on the anti-LGBTQ political front and has created a multi-million-dollar initiative to elect pro-LGBTQ politicians into office.

info: logo.to/2QqnscG.

Most affordable gay-friendly schools published

A report published by Student Loan Hero identified the most affordable LGBTQinclusive college campuses in the U.S.

info: studentloanhero.com. bit.ly/2UnyxcU.

Imani embraces holiday season

Imani Metropolitan Community Church will hold its last shut-in for the year on Dec. 14 beginning at 10 p.m. and will continue until the following morning. The time is set aside for prayer and fellowship. The church will also gather for its annual Watch Night Service on Dec. 31, 10 p.m., at the church located in the Imani MCC Ministry Center, 3602 C-View St., in Durham, N.C.

info: imanimcc.org.

App shares open-mindedness

A new app, RADR, has been launched and allows its users to share their open-minded travel discoveries, favorite global hot spots and underground tips with their friends.

info: radr.app.

Columnist challenges democracy

Politico writer Andrew Reynolds shared in a blog post that in 2016 he felt that North Carolina could no longer be classified as a democracy. The Raleigh News & Observer column he penned went global and viral. He was scorned by some and even received death threats. He continues to hold on to the idea that the state, through the GOP and gerrymandering, as well as the recent voter fraud reports.

info: politi.co/2Gg9zJM.

Book tackles diversity NEW YORK, N.Y. — Everyone’s family structure is different and literature that supports and champions family structure diversity is highlighted in Mera Malik’s “Om, The Enchanted, Big World, Little Om, Volume I.” “Big World, Little Om” is a multi-faceted project with a single goal: to celebrate family diversity. Using books and animated shows to teach children about diversity, understanding, and compassion, this series highlights the reality of family diversity. It reveals that one does not need to fight or argue over differences, or even try to change them; rather, individuals can accept what makes each one special in order to live more free, cooperative lives.

Children are flooded with false images of masculinity and femininity everyday, and the market is severely lacking in messages of cooperation and compassion. Youth may be taught to live in the illusion that money is power, brute strength always wins, and the most manipulative woman is also the most attractive — all qualities that create harm.

Malik said that the series addresses the need for cooperation, stating that children are hungry to learn ways to communicate, to work together and to make the changes that will, literally, save humanity from itself.

“We’re going to expose children to those character qualities through this project and saturate the market with these values. By creating that continuity of messaging, we can help the next generations to feel less confused, more grounded, and more capable of clear, honest, and helpful communication.”

The characters will experience real-world situations, such as having two mothers or fathers, gender identity questions, parental separation, and more.

“I was in a same sex relationship for nine beautiful years,” said Malik. “Our relationship ended not for any lack of love, but because she could no longer handle the discrimination she faced in her community or the disapproval of her family. Our child lost one of his moms and no doubt was confused by the whole situation. All he knew was the two of us and the love that was our family. I don’t want that to happen to any other family or child.”

The book is now available at Barnes & Noble and Amazon. info: bigworldlittleom.com.

— Lainey Millen

LGB less likely to have guns LOS ANGELES, Calif. — A new study on gun ownership and attitudes conducted by the Williams Institute at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Law reports that LGB adults are about half as likely to have guns at home compared to those who are straight.

An estimated 18.8 percent of lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) adults in the U.S. have guns in their home, compared to 35.1 percent of heterosexuals, the study showed. Researchers also found that LGB adults are more likely than heterosexuals to support gun control measures, such as background checks.

Key findings were: Controlling for age, race and regional distribution, straight men were more likely to have guns in the home than gay and bisexual men; among LGB adults, women and men had comparable rates of guns in the home (19.9 percent and 17.3 percent respectively); among both LGB and straight adults, non-Hispanic whites were more likely to have a gun in their home than other races/ethnicities; LGB adults were somewhat more likely to favor laws that would require people to obtain a police permit before they could buy a gun compared to straight individuals (81.4 percent and 73.9 percent respectively); and among LGB adults, there is strong support for background checks (93.3 percent) and opposition to making it easier to obtain concealed weapon permits (72.3 percent).

“Gun violence is a major public health concern, and violence against LGBT people is all too common. But we know little from a research perspective about how guns are used against and by LGBT people,” said study co-author Adam P. Romero (pictured), director of Legal Scholarship and Federal Policy at the Williams Institute. “Given high rates of suicide attempts among LGBT people, comparable rates of intimate partner violence, and elevated risk of other interpersonal violence, it is critical to gather more data about the extent to which guns are present at these moments.” “The report finds that LGB people have fewer guns in the home, and from a harm-reduction standpoint, when there is less access to guns, the risk of death by suicide and homicide decrease,” said Brian Malte, executive director of the Hope and Heal Fund, which funded the study. “Yet, there is a dearth of information on how gun violence affects LGBT people.

We are excited to learn more about how to fill these gaps in knowledge through this important project.”

More information about the study is available online. info: williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu.

— Lainey Millen

Dec. 14-27, 2018

qnotes

5

6

qnotes

Dec. 14-27, 2018

life

It’s the season for giving Organizations share their holiday wish lists

by Lainey Millen | QNotes Staff Writer

I

t’s the season to be jolly, merry and gay.

It’s also an important time of the year to support LGBTQ organizations who support the community in any way possible so that they can continue to offer the community vital services, solace and more.

Many have shared their wish lists with qnotes as noted below.

Campus Pride Charlotte, N.C. For Camp Pride: • Jumbo markers • Pipe cleaners • Gift bags • Craft paper • Button supplies • Silent auction items for fundraising General: • Phone chargers for training and outreach • Airline miles for training and outreach • Office paper • Pizza gift cards for service volunteers campuspride.org.

Carolinas CARE Partnership Charlotte, N.C. Office: • Lobby charging station • Toaster oven • 8-10 conference room chairs • Art therapy project supplies • 1 - 24 x 36 canvas • 50 - 6 x 6 canvases • Assorted acrylic paint and brushes • Any such art project supplies Volunteers: • Front desk volunteers • 5K Run planning team members • Programs Committee members • Marketing Committee members • Fundraising Committee members Clients: • Toiletries/hygiene supplies • New household supplies (trash cans, shower curtains, bathmats, towels, etc.)

• Cleaning supplies • Snacks and water for support/educational sessions carolinascare.org.

CommonWoman Chorus Durham, N.C. • Funds for a new membership management tool (circa $900/year) • Funds to rent storage space to store music library (circa $,1500/year) commonwomanchorus.net.

Equality North Carolina Raleigh, N.C. Gift cards from various local restaurants and businesses to give to volunteers or include in silent auctions equalitync.org.

Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte Charlotte, N.C. • New singers (need not be gay or cisgender men, just sing tenor, baritone or bass and support the chorus mission of helping create a society that values and respects its LGBTQ members) • High-speed, high-capacity laser printer (black & white)

• Graphic design services • Small filing cabinet • Volunteers to help with rehearsals and production gmccharlotte.org.

Grand Strand Pride & Coastal Business Guild Myrtle Beach, S.C. • More businesses to join the Coastal Business Guild showing they are Open to All. • Pride center grandstrandpride.com.

Guilford Green Foundation LGBTQ Center Greensboro, N.C. • Toaster oven • Apple TV • Letter folding machine • Subscription to Adobe Creative Cloud • Vacuum • Books for queer library (Amazon Wishlist: goo.gl/geQCXW) • Donations in any amount to support programs and activities that unite, support and elevate the LGBTQ community guilfordgreenfoundation.org.

House of Mercy Belmont, N.C. • Donated meals • Ayrsley Grand Cinema movie tickets (Charlotte) • Gift Cards (Walmart, Cook Out, Golden Corral, Pizza Hut, Tony’s Ice Cream, KFC, local restaurants) • Beverages (bottled juice, soda, Kool Aid, Crystal Light, Gatorade, tea bags) • Canned goods (all types including canned fruit cups) • Pantry staples • Individually wrapped snacks • Paper products (paper towels, Kleenex, toilet tissue) • Kitchen items (XL garbage bags, Brillo pads, gallon-size freezer bags, zip-lock bags) • Cleaning products (liquid laundry and dish detergent, Clorox, Lysol, Mr. Clean) • Toiletries (denture cleanser and adhesive, Dove soap (bar or liquid), Dove body wash, deodorant, shampoo (regular and dandruff), hair conditioner, triple blade razors, Vaseline, Chapstick, flushable wipes, hand sanitizer) • Bedding and personal care items (see bit.ly/2EibL1j for items and detail) thehouseofmercy.org. iNSIDEoUT & Upsidedown Raleigh, N.C. • Speaker system for big indoor parties like Queer Prom • Laptops/tablets, with working wireless capabilities • House for homeless queer teens • Scanner for scanning art for zine insideout180.org.

LGBT Center of Raleigh Raleigh, N.C. • Unlimited coffee • Snacks for volunteers and community • Refrigerator with an ice maker

• Stove with an oven • Dishwasher lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

NC AIDS Action Network Raleigh, N.C. Wish for the General Assembly to close the coverage gap and expand Medicaid.

Expanding Medicaid would provide health insurance for thousands of low income people living with HIV, and increase the availability of PrEP (the HIV prevention medication) for those who need it. ncaan.org.

North Star LGBTQ Community Center Winston-Salem, N.C. • Printer paper • Ink for our printer (Brother MFC-J895DW) • Markers (Crayola, example) • Paper products (toilet paper, paper towels, napkins, paper plates, cups, etc.)

• Bluetooth speaker • New computer for center use • Children’s, teen/youth, adult library books (Amazon Wishlist: a.co/gHgiOnX) northstarlgbtcc.com.

RAIN Charlotte, N.C. General: • Two privacy screens/room dividers to be used for non-traditional testing (highest priority/example: amzn.to/2LallnP) • Coffee service (Keurig cups, creamers, sugar packets, and disposable coffee cups (12 oz.))

• Disposable cups for water/soda (a minimum of 16 oz.)

• Manila folders • Pendaflex classification folders with two dividers (light green) (example: bit. ly/2zMA4ka) • Excel tutoring for staff (or a small class) • Noise-reducing devices • Two room flags (example: bit.ly/2SynewL) • BJ’s, Costco or Sam’s Club membership for agency use • Gatorade • Water • Sodas • Snacks • Bus Passes (CATS One Ride) • Oodles of Noodles or Cup of Noodles soup • Kleenex • Lysol wipes • Plug-in scented oils (device and extra refills) Clients: • Gatorade • Water • Sodas • Snacks • Bus Passes (CATS One Ride) • Oodles of Noodles or Cup of Noodles soup • Gift cards for Walmart and/or grocery stores in denominations of $15, $20, $25, $40, $60 • Small toiletry items (not necessarily hotel size) including deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, lotion, hair grease, laundry detergent, toilet paper • Clothes bags or backpacks carolinarain.org.

Time Out Youth Center Charlotte, N.C. (This is only a partial list. For more detail, visit the organization’s website.)

• Underwear (all types, adult sizes, all genders) • T-shirts (adult sizes, all genders) • A-Shirts/Tank Tops (adult sizes, all genders) • Makeup (especially darker foundation for people of color) • Hair care products (especially those for African-Americans) • Body wash • Deodorant • Lotion • Umbrellas • Ponchos • Wallets • Hats/Gloves/Scarfs • Snacks • Frozen microwaveable meals • Family dinner providers (for 30-60 nightly) • Laundry pods • Bleach pods or crystals • Dryer sheets • Fiction and non-fiction literature • Video games • Prizes and giveaways • Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo gift cards • Operational Support (wish list online) • Group Room (wish list online) • Art supplies (wish list online) • TracFones (see website for details and link for purchase) • CATS bus passes • Uber/Lyft gift cards • Contributions • Volunteers • Housing (see website for ideas) timeoutyouth.org.

Youth Outloud Columbia, S.C. • All-In-One Karaoke System & Party Machine • Pick Your Poison card game • GoSports Giant Wooden Toppling Tower • The Jackbox Party Pack 5 (PC/Mac/Linux steam code) • “Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace: A BodyPositive Coloring Book” • “Unicorns Are Jerks: A Coloring Book Exposing the Cold, Hard, Sparkly Truth” • “Why Cat Why: a coloring book explaining cats” • Crayola Ultimate Crayon Collection (152 pieces) • ArtNaturals Aromatherapy Essential Oil and Diffuser Gift Set • Hot Chili Pepper Takis Fuego Chips (1 oz.) (46 ct.)

• Lay’s Classic Potato Chips (1 oz.) (40 ct.)

• Nabisco Mini Snack variety pack (40 ct.)

• Frito-Lay Classic Mix Chips and Snacks variety pack (50 ct.) harriethancockcenter.org.

If your organization has specific needs, be they physical items or contributions, or volunteers, be sure to notify qnotes at editor@ goqnotes.com so we can get the word out to our readers and the community. Your generosity is so appreciated and a welcome relief, especially at the holiday season.

Dec. 14-27, 2018

qnotes

7

a&e

Buff Faye’s 2nd Annual Favorite Things Dishing with Buff Faye

BY Buff Faye | CONTRIBUTING WRITER | info@bufffaye.com

I

know you were waiting for it. It’s my second annual Buff Faye’s Favorite Things, just in time for your Holiday shopping. Finding that special gift for your lover, or maybe even a special drag queen, is seldom easy. So how do you stand out with that perfect original gift?! Well, it took me countless hours to choose this year’s list. Plus I decided to shop local in the Queen City and to give you some of my favorite unique retailers too. Get ready to stuff your stockings and shop!

BRO Bear Beard Balm $18.00 etsy.me/2zLuTBa. Definitely a must-have for any bearded

queen who wants to keep it moist, Bro Bear Beard Balm is a great product to tame that furry beast. Handmade locally in Charlotte, this gay-owned beard product line is a reasonably priced gift for that special man. This beard balm pack includes Awakening, Evolution and Polar Bar

8

qnotes

Dec. 14-27, 2018

scents. Ingredients include shea butter, castor oil, beeswax and essential oils.

Edible Body Play Paints $13.95 In store: White Rabbit 920 Central Ave., Charlotte, NC facebook.com/whiterabbitstore.

For that girl or guy who loves to eat and play around naturally, these Edible Body Play Paints are perfect. You can “feed two birds with one scone,” shall we say.

Pick up this playset and many other holiday apparel gifts by shopping at your local White Rabbit store.

Vortex Laser Gloves $161.98 bit.ly/2QMKVVb. Everybody has to have a gimmick on stage. These gloves will be memorable, lighting up and spinning. A real delight to whoever is the lucky performer to get them. I love my pair!

Bead Diva Studio Prices range from $18-$125 per item etsy.me/2QmAZ5h.

Full of unique selections, the Bead Diva Studio is a must-click.

Handcrafted in Charlotte, every piece is truly one of a kind

and it won’t break your bank. The site has many pop culture charms matched with exquisite, beautifully handmade jewelry.

I recently got a Swarovski stoned blinking eyeball on a ring. Seriously — amazeballs!

Velour: The Drag Magazine (Collector’s Edition) $60 bit.ly/2zMCFL8.

Finally!

The perfect coffee table book to spark creativity and conversation.

Designed by the drag phenomenon Sasha Velour in her signature style, the 300 page book features illustrations, collages, fashion editorials, poems, interviews and essays by over 75 queer artists and drag performers from around the world. This book is a fabulous queer gift that celebrates drag kings and queer, trans, AFAB, and non-binary drag artists from all backgrounds. see next page u

Candyman Unicorn Lace Undies $23.90 bit.ly/2zOOJvk. Live the fantasy. Decorated with a huge horn on front and with details of rainbow lace on the back, these undies leave nothing to the imagination. I bet he doesn’t have a pair of these. Plus, this gift practically guarantees a happy ending.

CLTCH Prices range depending on items In store: CLTCH 1512 Central Ave., Charlotte, NC facebook.com/cltch.

“Collectible objects of desire” is what they say. … and I would have to wholeheartedly agree. This eccentric shop has truly outrageous designer hats, jewelry, socks, clutches and more. It’s everything you could hope for and have come to expect in the Plaza Midwood gayborhood. It’s a treat to shop there and I can’t leave without buying something.

Perfectly Nailed $21.11 and up etsy.me/2Ut0BLU. Nailed it! Every lady needs the most beautiful nails to impress. Perfectly Nailed sells custom nail sets ready to be pressed on and gorgeous. Whether you want a lacquered coffin nail or something drenchend with jewels, you can find the perfect set to gift wrap here.

Magnolia Emporium Prices vary depending on items magnoliaemporium.com.

The Magnolia Emporium is an oasis of luxury for men’s and women’s accessories, home decor, pet toy gifts, fine art, gourmet delights and much more.

Nestled in the growing Gold District in Southend Charlotte, this store is a rare find full of beautiful portraits and home furnishings for even the most difficult person on your shopping list.

Disney Princess Designer Collection Box

by ColourPop $120 bit.ly/2L3EFD1.

OMG! This is my absolute favorite for this holiday season! Pretty please, Santa, bring this one to me.

It’s every little girl’s or boy’s ultimate Disney gift — forget the dolls! This collection box by ColourPop includes ‘’It’s a Princess Thing’’ Eyeshadow Palette, ‘’Kiss the Girl’’ Lux Lipstick Bundle, ‘’Fairytale Moment’’ Super Shock Shadow Foursome and Cinderella ‘’Bibbidi, Bobbidi, and Boo’’ lip glosses.

DRAG TIP: Remember to support your local LGBTQfriendly community businesses whenever possible, unless they are scrooges — then shop elsewhere.

Buff Faye calls the Queen City home and loves to deck the halls with boughs of holly (plus she loves to raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. Learn more at AllBuff.com. Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye

SHOUTOUTS:

Come out to Buff Faye’s VERY MARY Drag Brunch on Sunday, Dec. 16 at noon at Dilworth Grille. Tix online at AllBuff.com.

Dec. 14-27, 2018

qnotes

9

life

Get set for holiday hosting Tips for Making Entertaining Enjoyable for All Compiled by Lainey Millen | QNotes Staff WRITER The holidays are quickly approaching and those who are hosting in-town and out-oftown guests are busy making preparations for tasty meals and enjoyable, entertaining time together. Keeping everyone happy and engaged is no small job.

Keep it simple

From time-saving meal options to ideas that encourage everybody to take part in the festivities, consider these tips to help make it easy to keep guests of all ages entertained.

Simply catch up. Once the whole crew gets together, make a game out of giving everyone the chance to catch up. Put topics in a hat and draw to determine which category you’ll hear about. Go around the room and give each guest a turn to share.

Go out for a change. Rather than trying to cook at home, save time by finding a restaurant or take-out option that suits everyone’s tastes. Several restaurants offer special deals, such as the 10 percent discount available at select eateries for AARP members or rewards program discounts.

Catch the newest release. When you feel like getting out of the house, heading to a movie theater can provide a chance to relax, especially for family members who have traveled long distances to join the group.

Deck the halls. Adding a touch of festive flair can make guests feel welcome and ready to celebrate the occasion. But you don’t have to spend hours dragging out boxes of decorations to get your home holiday-ready. Colorful flower arrangements can add instant seasonal character and cheer to a room.

Head to the mall. Shopping is another option for those looking to leave cramped quarters behind, and finding last-minute holiday deals could appeal to the procrastination-inclined gift givers.

Entertainment hacks

The holidays are a jam-packed time, Fortunately, hosts can find some shortcuts when welcoming guests that offer plenty of festive style while also helping to avoid stressing over every detail.

Repurpose with purpose. There’s no need to make time for a trip to the store or to spend a bundle on party supplies. When it comes to decor, you can cover any old box with some of last year’s leftover holiday paper to add some colorful touches around the home.

Make easy attractive. Most holiday celebrations center on the food, but it’s still an area where hosts can shave some time.

For example, using attractive products like Chinet Classic White, or for a more elegant affair the Chinet Cut Crystal collection which is a fully coordinated line of disposable plates, cups, cutlery and wineglasses, make for a practical option.

Fill the freezer. Whether your holiday entertaining is more impromptu in nature or you host a single sizable shindig, keeping a well-stocked freezer can help make hosting a cinch. Dedicate an afternoon to preparing items you can easily defrost and serve later, like casseroles, appetizers, side dishes and desserts.

Forgo fussy food. An elegant sit-down meal isn’t the only way to enjoy a holiday

10

qnotes

Dec. 14-27, 2018

gathering. Guests may even appreciate a break from traditional heavier fare. Simple food stations, finger foods and even storebought meals are all time-saving alternatives.

Keep cleanup simple. For a festive, yet deceptively easy table, consider using kraft paper as tablecloths, and let some of that leftover wrapping paper do double-duty as table runners. Match the DIY table coverings with a coordinated line of disposable tableware to make cleaning up a cinch.

Easy hosting and toasting

Take the overwhelm out of the picture this season and serve up a successful holiday celebration.

Entertainment: Ensure guests enjoy a good time by offering entertainment that is suitable for their personality types.

Beverages: Stock up on refreshments all ages can enjoy. Put a special holiday touch on your drink menu with a recipe like Holiday Hot Tea featuring Milo’s Famous Sweet Tea. Favors: Send guests home with a sweet memory of the event, such as an ornament that connects to the party’s theme or a bag of seasonal treats like homemade cookies or candy to nibble on during the trip back home.

Simple Snacks: Building your menu around simple snacks and finger foods guests can nibble on while they mingle is perfectly acceptable for almost any type of holiday gathering. Include options that can satisfy all the taste buds. You can even combine sweet and sour with a seasonal crowd-pleaser like Lemonade Cranberry Orange Bread, which draws its flavor from a secret ingredient — Milo’s All Natural Lemonade.

Remove the stress

The holiday season is meant for spending quality time with friends and family, not stressing out over hosting. Cut down on hectic preparations while creating a memorable holiday full of food and fun guests can savor.

Plan ahead. Heading into your seasonal soiree with a plan in place can help avoid snafus. Make a shopping list of ingredients and decorations. Then put together a schedule a few days prior to the event to cover last-minute preparations.

Elevate holiday classics. Elevating classic appetizers is a simple way to savor the season. A trend on the rise, the Grazing Table starts with the table as the canvas, adds elements of the traditional cheese board then takes it to the next level with an arrangement of appetizers or brunch dishes and seasonal decor. Another way to lift your holiday spread is using ingredients like Real California Milk cheeses.

Prepare dishes and decorations in advance. Decorating at least a day ahead and setting the table the night before, for example, can help minimize stress. Welcome guests with holiday cheer and trendy decor like a virtual yule log made of melting cheese, complete with holiday music.

Recipies for the tea, cranberry bread and other seasonal treats will be made available in qnotes online coverage.

For more information on hosting, visit aarpbenefits.com, mychinet.com, drinkmilos.com and realcaliforniamilk.com. : :

a&e

‘Wizard of Oz’ in the Queen City 118 years of friendship with Dorothy

BY Jack Kirven | QNotes CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Dorothy (Kalie Kaimann, above center) sings with the Munchkins in Munchkinland during a performance of ‘The Wizard of Oz’ being performed at Ovens Auditorium in Charlotte, N.C. from Dec. 18-20.

(Photo Credit: Denise S. Trupe)

“Y

ou have some queer friends, Dorothy,” says Polychrome in “The Road to Oz” (the 1909 sequel to “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz,” the first of L. Frank Baum’s Oz novels). And of course Dorothy replies, “The queerness doesn’t matter, so long as they’re friends.”

Granted, “queer” didn’t have the same connotation when the books were first written, but such is the evolving play of language.

There are many reasons why LGBTQ people were fascinated with the books, even before the movie was released in 1939. For starters, the story is the first fantasy series born entirely upon the culture and imagination of the USA and what it means to be American. With quotes like those above, Dorothy’s crush on a Chinese princess, a butch but sensitive “dandy lion,” several scenes of all-female conquering armies and Ozma being transformed into a boy and then marrying Dorothy… well, it’s easy to see why the stories captured the imaginations of LGBTQ people.

And then there’s the movie itself. Universally recognized as one of the “most fabulous” movies ever made, many critics and historians include “The Wizard of Oz” in their lists of the most accomplished productions in cinema history.

And how could they not? When the drab, plain Kansas is peeled away to reveal a lush, colorful dreamland, how could the world not be entranced? (Is this gay gentrification at its best?) And how could marginalized people not want to be carried far away to a magical place? Judy Garland, perhaps the first universal gay icon, gave a performance that set the stage for an illustrious career. The movie has become a cultural phenomenon that is so ubiquitous that it would be strange to try to imagine the movie not being such a prominent influence in so many people’s childhoods.

So, if the movie (which is practically memorized verbatim by countless millions of people) were to be translated into a theater production that sought to “simply” copy-paste the movie onto a stage, why would anyone bother to go see it?

“Because of the magic of the story itself,” says Kirk Lawrence, the professional actor who brings the Wizard himself to life during each performance. “You get to see firsthand the stage turn from drab sepia washes in Kansas to the bright color of Oz. You get to see Dorothy, Toto, The

Wicked Witch and all the other elements of the movie right there in front of you.” But I felt there must be something more than that.

“How do you feel about performing the same lines every night for dozens of performances?

How do you remain engaged with the material?” I asked him.

“I take the energy from the people in the audience and their love for the story. It remains fresh for me, because it’s fresh for them. I still get nervous before performances! I know it will be time to bow out when that stops happening. Oh, and I love seeing people dressed as their favorite characters. There’s a really strong connection between the performers and the audience.”

The Wizard (above) and Professor Marvel (left) both played by Kirk Lawrence with Dorothy (Kalie Kaimann) and Toto (Murphy).

(Photo Credit: Denise S. Trupe)

“But why is this particular story so enchanting and engaging still? Everyone knows the movie forward and backward. So why do we keep coming back to it? It can’t be nostalgia alone,” I said.

And then Kirk said something that I felt was very poignant, and which touches upon what makes the underlying narrative so compelling: “This is a story about going out to look for what you already have.”

That hit me pretty hard. I admit I was rather dismissive going into this conversation with Mr. Lawrence, because what could really be said about a musical production remake of a clichéd movie? Well, so much for my jaded cynicism.

It turns out I’d forgotten the impact I felt as a child the first time I heard the Wizard say, “A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.” And then there’s Dorothy: “…if I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with!”

So then, why should you invest in seeing something that you already know so well? Because it’s a beautiful production of an encouraging story that reconnects you with gratitude. People (re: me) are often dismissive of “children’s stories” until they remember those deeper wisdoms. : :

Dec. 14-27, 2018

qnotes

11

++++++++ Sponsored Content ++++++++

from the Rx pad……

by Rx Clinic Pharmacy, a comprehensive onsite service of Amity Medical Group

Toxic Black Mold

By Hui Yi Tee, PharmD Candidate

The idea of this black fungus creeping its way into the walls of our home and endangering our health is enough to rationalize setting our homes on fire and running for our lives. Truth is, there is always a little bit of mold wherever you are.

This fear is the result of scare tactics and misinformation by mold cleaning services and sensationalized media articles. There are over 100,000 species of mold that come in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes; all of which grow in damp environments. Toxic molds come in many different colors, and black mold is not always toxic.

Black mold, also known as Stachybotrys chartarum, feeds on organic materials in drywall, carpet, insulation or sub-flooring that has trapped moisture.1 The mold itself is nontoxic, but it can produce allergens and irritants that can cause common symptoms such as chronic coughing and sneezing, irritation to the eyes, itchy throat, rashes, chronic fatigue, and persistent headaches. These symptoms are especially heightened in individuals with respiratory problems (COPD, asthma) and mold allergies. However, if you experience severe nausea, hives, asthma, runny nose, labored breathing, lethargy, dizziness, and skin rashes, it is advised that you visit your doctor to ensure that there are not other causes to these nonspecific symptoms (and try to remove the mold at home if it exists).

There are some ways to keep your home mold-free. Firstly, dry any wet areas or large spills immediately. It is also important to ensure proper ventilation to prevent moisture from accumulating in problem areas such as the laundry room, bathroom, and kitchen. You may also equip your Detection of black mold is important in ridding toxicity from one’s home or business place. Photo Credit: Karin & Uwe Annas via Adobe Stock home with mold-resistant drywall and floorboards that do not absorb moisture.

You are more likely to suffer from the flu than you are mold infection, so, as another shameless plug, Even if you see mold without experiencing the symptoms discussed above, it is advised stop by your local pharmacy and get your flu shot. to get rid of it anyway. The key to mold removal (like everything else) is early detection. Furthermore, the EPA recommends keeping indoor humidity between 30 and 60 percent, measured with a moisture Citation: detector from your local hardware store. If humidity is still a problem despite your efforts, dehumidifiers 1 “Facts about Stachybotrys chartarum and Other Molds.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. work to remove moisture from your home. Just make sure that the dehumidifier does not produce moisture https://www.cdc.gov/mold/stachy.htm. Date Accessed 29th November 2018. or leak by checking on it periodically and cleaning it as directed by the manufacturer.

12

qnotes

Dec. 14-27, 2018

views

Home for the Holidays

Spiritual Reflections: A Spiritual Survival Guide

BY Rev. Dr. Joan Saniuk | CONTRIBUTING WRITER

Photo Credit: Maksim Pasko via Adobe Stock Ahh… the winter holiday season is here.

It’s time for parties, festive entertainments and gatherings with family. Many of us will be blessed with loving, supportive families with whom we will gather. If you are one of these people, congratulations! Feel free to stop reading now. If not, stay with me!

For some of us, holiday gatherings with family are an emotional minefield. It might be because of our sexual orientation, or our gender identity or something completely different (such as politics). It may simply be the particular dysfunction in our, or our partner’s, families. Whatever the reason, if you dread the thought of going “home” for the holidays, welcome to the crowd. You have plenty of company!

But take heart: there are some relatively simple means of Defense Against the (Emotional) Dark Arts. I humbly suggest these five rules: Rule 1. Decide in advance how much hassle is too much to put up with, and make an escape plan. This is especially important for couples. Let’s say that your family of origin disapproves of you, but expects you to come to Christmas dinner all the same. You may have grown a thick

skin over the years… but the partner who is meeting them for the first time may be more uncomfortable than you. Respect the one you brought with you, enough to politely withdraw from the event when they have had enough.

Rule 2. Decide whether or not to engage in those pesky religious arguments. Sometimes, when a family member asks, “But what about where the Bible says…” they really want to understand your faith journey. It may be a good time to educate them, to expose them to a different point of view. On the other hand, you can probably sense when the person asking the question has already decided what they think. Continuing the discussion will probably be as wise as trying to teach a pig to sing; go to Rule 3.

Rule 3. Learn how to not engage in the argument about your sexuality or gender identity or whatever. Candace Chellew-Hodge’s book “Bulletproof Faith” is a great resource for dealing with religion-based hostility. It is set in a Christian context, but you can adapt it to your belief system as needed. She recommends simply saying, “I don’t agree.” Say it politely,

respectfully, lovingly. Repeat as needed.

(And if it doesn’t succeed in changing the subject, consider Rule 1.)

Rule 4. Spend time with people who love you, just the way you are. When I visit my hometown, I always drop into the local MCC, where I know I belong and where I will see people I’ve known for years. Your place of beloved-ness might be a church, or a bar or another hangout.

It might also just be a video call; that’s why God created FaceTime and Skype and the like, so we can talk face to face wherever we are. Be loved!

Rule 5. Always, always, remember that you are a precious being in the image of God, a cherished child of the Universe. I believe with all my heart that our differences are gifts — not just to us, but to the whole world. So give thanks for being who you are, and keep on being you!

Whatever holidays you celebrate (or not), may you have safe travels, and a time of peace, joy, rest, and relaxation! : : The Rev. Dr. Joan Saniuk is pastor of Sacred Journey Metropolitan Community Church (MCC Sacred Journey) in Hendersonville, N.C.

Dec. 14-27, 2018

qnotes

13

14

qnotes

Dec. 14-27, 2018

Dec. 14-27, 2018

qnotes

15

a&e

‘Perfectly Clear’ Out in Print

BY terri schlichenmeyer | CONTRIBUTING WRITER “Perfectly Clear”

by Michelle LeClair and Robin Gaby Fisher ©2018, Berkley $27.00 / $36.00 Canada 289 pages Once, you believed in fairy tales.

Santa came down the chimney, the Easter Bunny hid colored eggs, and the Tooth Fairy left money for your molars. Once, you were wide-eyed and innocent, too, but those days are gone — even when, as in the new book “Perfectly Clear”

by Michelle LeClair and Robin Gaby Fisher, you believe in love.

For most of her young life, Michelle LeClair was a worrier.

She had to be: her mother was something of a free spirit who married often and “was gone a lot.” For that, LeClair grew up as the Independent Responsible Child; the one who, as a teen, wanted a job so she could pay for her own car.

And so, LeClair’s mother helped her get a job selling L. Ron Hubbard training materials for Sterling Management, an organization run by Scientologists. It didn’t take long before LeClair surprised everyone, herself included, by excelling beyond expectations.

Her success — and her mother’s influence — led the Church to invite LeClair to one-on-one member counseling, ostensibly to determine her “purpose on earth,” but also to lead her deeper inside Scientology.

Church members offered her their friendship, but LeClair noticed that she was asked nearly constantly for more money. As her career rose, so did the Church’s requests for donations, and soon, she was writing astoundingly-frequent five-figure checks to the organization.

And it might’ve continued so, if not for one thing…

16

qnotes

Dec. 14-27, 2018

As a teenager, LeClair fooled around once with a female friend, which she had to confess to a fellow Scientologist — and that information went into a file. Even after LeClair married and had children, her long-ago fling was flung in her face repeatedly — particularly after she tried to divorce her abusive husband.

Scientology has long considered being gay to be repugnant, she was reminded, and that nagged at her enough to make her question this faith in which she’d been raised.

She questioned even more deeply when she fell in love with a woman named Charly.

Halloween is long over. The decorations have been put away. But if you didn’t get scared enough then, “Perfectly Clear” will finish the job perfectly.

It starts with the opening pages, in which author LeClair is arrested for a crime that never happened, fabricated, she says, by Scientology members. It’s a small story compared to what else follows, but its heart-pounding presence in the front of the book takes readers by the scruff and shakes us.

That leaves a lingering feeling of alarm that continues to run in and out of the rest of this memoir as LeClair (with Robin Gaby Fisher) lets readers see what she did not.

We’re privy to the manipulation she recalls but didn’t notice then, the pressure she felt but dismissed, and the dawning fear that she could never get away.

That makes for an excellent real-life love story wrapped up in a psychological thriller that’ll also make you pick your jaw off the floor about every third page. If you think “Perfectly Clear” is a book you’ll like, you’d better believe it. : :

How long is too long before the first kiss?

Tell Trinity

BY Trinity | CONTRIBUTING WRITER Hey Trinity, I’m openly gay and have been seeing a closeted guy for a couple of weeks. He hasn’t even kissed me yet. Am I wasting my time?

Sincerely, Kissless, Atlanta, GA Hey Kissless, Some closeted or out men won’t kiss till they’re sure they like someone. Other men hang around hoping they’ll become interested when they’re not sure. And even other men are too nice to say they’re really

not interested, but hang around anyway.

That’s men, that’s dating and that’s life, pumpkin! Give it a few weeks to a month, that’s all! And if there’s no lip action by then, then… realize you’re chasing a dead, closeted horse!

Hugs, Trinity Dearest Trinity, I think my live-in boyfriend is stealing from me, but he swears he’s not. A few months ago, I also caught him drinking when he swore he wasn’t. If I can’t trust him, what should I do?

Yours, Caught Twice, Miami Beach, FL Dearest Caught Twice, When someone lies the first time, make a mental note, but by the third time, make a dash for the door. Listen, honey, what a man says and what a man does are often… not the same thing! (My cartoon tells you how history is bound to repeat itself if you keep looking for a different outcome! Some things never change, but you can.)

Hello Trinity, I keep dating people I’m not attracted to, but because they’re nice or generous, I try until eventually I can’t do it anymore. How do

I stop this pattern without giving up dating?

Trapped In Kindsville?, San Diego, CA Hello Trapped In Kindsville, Being kind always takes precedence over selfishness. However, you are not responsible for everyone’s feelings. We all create good and bad situations so we can learn about life, love, acceptance and rejection. Now, sweetie, to stop this “mercy dating,” a) stop accepting dates from people you’re unattracted to by saying “No” immediately, b) wait before sleeping with anyone so no one gets hurt and c) start approaching people you are attracted to! Dating means “feeling an attraction” be it sexual, intellectual or… financial!

Hugs, Trinity Dear Trinity, Last month I introduced my new boyfriend and his X-rated tattoos to my parents.

I’m afraid they’re still in shock. Why should I keep secrets from my parents? Shouldn’t they be part of my life too?

Freedom Of Speech, Vancouver, BC Dear Freedom Of Speech, To be honest, no! Your parents are not your parole officers. They need to be part of your life, and the key word is “part.” You’ll understand one day, but for now start reading:

Trinity’s Sexy Secrets You Don’t Share With Your Parents 1. Y ou don’t share your S&M fetish lifestyle. The latex tuxedo you wore to your niece’s wedding was enough!

2. Y ou don’t show off all your girlfriend’s

tattoos. Just because she thinks Jesus being eaten by Satan is cool, your parents don’t have to too!

3. You don’t disclose your fantasy-cometrue relationship with the Las Vegas stripper/porn star! The lap dance at your father’s 60th was enough!

4. You don’t share the trials and tribulations of your threesome relationship!

They live in Nebraska for God’s sake.

5. You don’t show off your boyfriend’s and your new Prince Alberts just because your mother likes jewelry!

6. You really don’t need to share your lover’s new silicone injected penis at your annual Smith family summer barbeque!

7. You don’t tell your father, his wife, your mother and her lover about your boyfriend’s night in drag, leading to his arrest. It’s not that funny!

8. You don’t let everyone know that you both take drugs strictly for sexual purposes! Isn’t anything sacred?

9. You don’t tell Auntie Em that your new date is with the Hells Angels. Didn’t she have enough troubles with your last ex, the hit man?

10. L astly, you don’t need to tell your 75-year-old mother on her deathbed that your girlfriend… was born a boy!

It’s not always about you!

With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation! Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Send emails to: trinity@telltrinity.com.

qomunity

qonexions space starting at $22: call qnotes for details 704.531.9988

Dec. 14-27, 2018

qnotes

17

events December 14-16 ‘Buy My Art and Call It Holy’

Durham, various locations, times The third installment in artist Monet Noelle Marshall’s “Buy It Call It” Trilogy is comprised of a series of free, open and interactive events variously incorporating music, dance, food, word and ceremony. Events are appropriate for all ages. bit.ly/2Ba5Rva. bit.ly/buyitcallit.

December 14-23 ‘The Great American Trailer Park Christmas Musical’

Hadley Theater at Queens University 2132 Radcliffe Ave., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Wednesday-Thursday, 8 p.m. Friday-Saturday, 2:30pm Sunday Actor’s Theater of Charlotte reprises the bawdy tale of Armadillo Acres and its residents’ very own neighborhood Scrooge, with a content warning alerting potential guests to “an uncensored good time.” Regular admission $30-$35, half price for students, teachers and military.

Premium admission $44. bit.ly/2rtqhuL.

December 14-29 ‘The Best Christmas Pageant Ever: The Musical’ Children’s Theatre of Charlotte 300 E. 7th St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Friday, 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. Saturday, 2 and 4 p.m.

Sunday (note Friday Dec 28 will operate on a Sunday schedule with shows at 2 and 4 p.m. only)

The “worst kids in the history of the world” wreak heartwarming havoc on a Sunday school Christmas pageant in one of Children’s Theatre’s greatest hits, based on the book by Barbara Robinson.

Sensory-friendly performance Dec. 28 at 4 p.m. ctcharlotte.org.

December 14-January 20 ‘The Beyond – Georgia O’Keefe and Contemporary Art’

North Carolina Museum of Art 2110 Blue Ridge Rd., Raleigh 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday and Saturday-Sunday, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Friday “The Beyond” exhibits painting and sculpture by the pioneering O’Keefe alongside the works of 20 emerging artists, exploring her lasting impact on the development of contemporary American art.

The exhibit is ticketed with “Candida Höfer in Mexico,” a group of 25 large-format photographs of the interiors of Mexican libraries, churches, museums and more.

Admission is $18 for adults, $15 for seniors and $12 for youth. Museum members receive half-price admission. Tickets are sold for specific dates and times. bit.ly/2DZhTLI.

December 15 Uptown Flea

700 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 9 a.m.-3 p.m.

Live music entertains while copious food truck offerings sustain patrons of more than 80 local vendors, including purveyors of vintage and one-of-a-kind handmade goods. $1 entry fee. All ages

December 2018-January 2019

welcome. facebook.com/uptownflea.

December 16 Take Time for Time Out Youth

NoDa Company Store 3221 Yadkin Ave., Charlotte 12:30-5 p.m.

Sponsoring this year’s fundraiser for Time Out Youth’s Emergency Financial Assistance program, the Company Store is offering free brunch for attendees bringing an EFA donation. A list of desired material donations can be found online and includes toiletries, bus passes, gift cards, basic clothing items and more, along with links to TOY’s Amazon wish lists. The event will also feature a silent auction with all proceeds to benefit the Emergency Financial Assistance program. bit.ly/timefortoy.

December 16 Triangle Empowerment Center Community Roots Award Fundraiser and Gala

The Pit 321 W. Geer St., Durham 5:30-8 p.m.

The Triangle Empowerment Center, a 501(c)(3) non-profit serving area LGBTQ communities of color, honors four members of the community for their outstanding dedication in 2018. The evening will include music, entertainment and heavy hors d’oeuvres. All donations are tax deductible. Tickets are $20 individually, $35 for couples or $150 for a table of 8. triempowerment.org/events.

December 18-20 ‘The Wizard of Oz’

Ovens Auditorium 2900 E. Independence Blvd., Charlotte 7 p.m.

The iconic film is recreated onstage “nearly scene for scene.”

Tickets start at $34. bit.ly/2zPBFpy.

December 18 PFLAG Greensboro Holiday Party

December 19 and 26: Pearl and the Charlotte Holding Company

Janis Joplin tribute artist Travis “Pearl” Laughlin and local backing band the Charlotte Holding Company take up residence on the Snug stage for the month of December, working their way chronologically through the 1960s legend’s four studio albums, including the posthumously-released “Pearl.” $5 cover charge. Ages 21+. Snug Harbor, 1228 Gordon St., Charlotte. 9 p.m. 917-805-7601.

18

qnotes

Dec. 14-27, 2018

Submit your events: editor@goqnotes.com

College Park Baptist Church corner of Aycock St. & Walker Ave., Greensboro 6:30 p.m.

A meat dish and drinks will be provided at PFLAG Greensboro’s annual celebration, with guests asked to contribute a side dish to share. For more information, call 336-541-6754 or email info@ pflaggreensboro.org. pflaggreensboro.org.

December 19 ‘Sleeping Beauty’

Knight Theater at Levine Center for the Arts

December 16: Charlotte Comicon Winter Show

Charlotte Comicon brings together vendors, local artists and pop culture enthusiasts of all stripes in 21,000 square feet of new and vintage comics, toys and more for sale and trade — plus an all-ages costume contest with convention cash prize. $5 admission at the door, ages 12 and under free. Embassy Suites Concord, Convention Center, 5400 John Q. Hammons Dr. NW, Concord. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. bit.ly/wintercomicon.

430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m.

In its first-ever American tour, the National Ballet Theatre of Odessa travels to Charlotte from the Ukraine to present this beloved work to Tchaikovsky’s score. Tickets $40-$60. Special group rates may be available for parties of 10 or more. bit.ly/2P0Rez9.

December 21-22 Ilana Glazer

The Comedy Zone 900 NC Music Factory Blvd. Suite B3, Charlotte 7:30 and 9:45 p.m. Friday, 7 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday Comedian, actor, writer and executive producer of the critical and commercial phenomenon ‘Broad City’, Ilana Glazer brings her signature outrageous, no-holds-barred wit to the Queen City in this PG-18 -rated live show. General admission $30, gold circle $35. cltcomedyzone.com.

December 21 LGBT Center of Raleigh Blue Christmas

St. John’s MCC 622 Maywood Ave., Raleigh 7-8 p.m.

A gathering on the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year, offering companionship, comfort and affirmation to those dealing with grief, loneliness, depression or otherwise struggling to experience the holiday season as a time of joy. Coffee and refreshments will be available before and after the program. bit.ly/RaleighBlueChristmas.

December 22 Crystal Chanda-Leer’s Holiday Revue

The Woodshed Bar 3935 Queen City Dr., Charlotte 11 p.m.-2 a.m. December 23 Crystal Chanda-Leer leads this one-of-a-kind celebration featuring “a bevy of bearded beauties” along with entertainment from special MC Boogie Bear and a plethora of diverse queens to suit every appetite. Ages 21+.

ID required. The Woodshed is a private club; new patrons must apply for membership at a cost of $10 or be signed in by a current member and pay applicable guest cover charge. bit.ly/chanda-leer. woodshedlounge.com.

December 27–31 ‘Rock of Ages’

Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte A “dynamic” new cast hits Charlotte with the 10th anniversary tour of this jukebox celebration of 1980s rock, including songs by Styx, Twisted Sister, Poison and other staples of the era. Tickets $25-$95.

Show contains adult language and content. bit.ly/rockyburlesque. bit. ly/2DHqMc8.

December 28 ‘E.T.: Movie in Concert’ with The Charlotte Symphony Orchestra

Ovens Auditorium, Charlotte 2900 E. Independence Blvd.

7:30 p.m.

The Charlotte Symphony performs legendary composer John Williams’ Academy Award-winning score as the beloved film makes its return to the big screen in high definition.

Tickets $19-$99. bit.ly/et-concert.

REGULAR EVENTS Charlotte LGBT Chamber

Regular business meetings, social events and other activities throughout the year. Days and times vary. info: clgbtcc.org.

PFLAG Concord/Kannapolis

Meets for monthly group support meetings, second Tuesday of each month, 7-9 p.m., Trinity United Church of Christ, 38 Church St. N., Concord. info: bit.ly/1pCFVBq.

PFLAG Gaston

Meets for monthly support meetings, third Thursday of each month, 7 p.m., St. Mark’s Episcopal Church, 258 W. Franklin Blvd., Gastonia. info: pflaggaston.org.

life

Our People: Billy Maddalon

Business Owner, Community Leader, Husband, Father

W

BY Torie Dominguez |qnotes staff WRITER

ith holiday hosting on most everyone’s mind, there could be no more appropriate subject than Billy Maddalon for qnotes’ latest Our People Q&A. A prominent Charlotte businessowner, community leader and, most importantly, husband and father, Maddalon has devoted decades to his role as proprietor of the VanLandingham Estate and the Morehead Inn. Born and raised right here in the QC, he possesses a rare understanding of the city’s sensibilities. It’s a quality that’s helped to make his career in hospitality not merely a job, but a vocation. Now, Maddalon gifts qnotes readers a sample of the wisdom of his experience, as a host, a City Councilmember, a newspaper columnist and a proud family man.

Prime Timers

The rapid influx of new residents to the Charlotte area has been well documented. While you’re a Queen City native, was there ever a time you considered pursuing a life somewhere else?

Charlotte was a great town to grow up in and it’s been a great city to start a business and raise my family. I had considered staying in Raleigh after college, but the chance to live close to family and be a part of the Charlotte story just drew me back.

Stonewall Sports

As an owner and operator of the Morehead Inn, as well as longtime proprietor of the VanLandingham Estate, you’re uncommonly qualified to speak on the topic of hosting. What, in your opinion, makes a good (or bad) host?

First and foremost, a good host has to be glad to be there with their guests. If it’s a bother or chore guests can tell. I love entertaining, so for me it’s always been a joy to host guests from all over the world. I like to think they can tell I’m truly glad to be there and have them as my guest.

Monthly meeting including dinner, speaker, games and more for gay men ages 21 and up, 5-7 p.m., Park Road Baptist Church Fellowship Hall, 3900 Park Rd., Charlotte. info: primetimersww.com/charlotte/.

Regular team sports, meet-up, social and service events throughout the year. Days and times vary. info: stonewallcharlotte.leagueapps.com.

Trans Youth Group

Time Out Youth Center hosts weekly discussion groups for transgender youth ages 13-20 each Thursday, 4:306 p.m., 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Transcend Charlotte

Hosts twice monthly support groups for partners, friends and family of transgender and gender non-conforming adults ages 18 and older, second and fourth Sundays of each month, 6-7 p.m., Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., Charlotte.

Prior to each meeting an anxiety support group is offered 5-6 p.m. info: transcendcharlotte.org.

UPDATES/ADDITIONS?

Do you have a regular and reoccurring community event you’d like listed? A listing to update? Email us at editor@ goqnotes.com.

From the opposite perspective, what makes a good (or bad) guest? Have you acquired any particularly stunning anecdotes of hospitality gone awry?

Unfortunately, in the hospitality industry a “bad” guest usually means they are disrespectful to their surroundings. It’s unfortunate, but it’s a reality.

Complications aside, how do you and your staff make this time of year special at the Morehead Inn? People love traditional, festive decorations and traditional holiday foods. I suspect it all goes back to what we remember about our childhoods and how special the colors, music, food and even just the smells were to us. I like to keep the holidays simple and to focus on what each of us cherish from our youth.

In addition to your own long career in the hospitality sector, you and your husband Brooks have served as foster parents to 19 children. What advice would you give other current or prospective foster parents who want to help their kids feel welcome and at home during the holiday season?

Remember that you’re never too old to enjoy Christmas and

Hanukkah and all of the holiday traditions.

Inside every adult is a big kid. We all want to go back and be a kid during the holidays.

And, fortunately, there aren’t any rules saying we can’t!

You’ve simultaneously run the Morehead Inn and the VanLandingham Estate, the latter of which operated for many years as a bed-and-breakfast and events venue. Is it difficult to leave the business of the holidays at the office and feel truly present in your family’s celebrations?

It used to be, but my family is pretty quick to get me straightened out and remind me that they’re not my employees, and we’re not at the office. It’s an important lesson for all of us to be truly present for any time we’re with family.

While hosting a Charlotte City Council meeting probably isn’t most people’s idea of a holiday, your résumé includes a stint there, as well as a campaign for the North Carolina General Assembly. What prompted you to get involved in politics? Do you harbor any further ambitions along those lines?

For many years I was happy to be behind the scenes and to serve in grass roots efforts in the community. The chance to serve on City Council was unexpected. I was unaware until after I was chosen that I was the first “out” gay man to serve on Charlotte’s City Council. I’d like to think I made a small difference, if even just as a role model for younger LGBT folks who might want to serve.

As for the future, I guess we’ll have to see. I’m not opposed to running for office again, but as in all things, the timing, circumstances and opportunity have to intersect.

And finally, when you consider your numerous accomplishments, of what achievement are you most proud?

I am most proud of my family. I have an amazing husband in Brooks Shelley, which is the foundation for everything I’ve been able to achieve. And together, we both took a significant risk when we decided to start our journey as therapeutic foster parents. But look at where it’s led us. We’ve parented 19 beautiful children and adopted three wonderful boys who’ve become fine young men. At the same time, we discovered in ourselves a relevance and meaning in life we would have never experienced otherwise. What a life! : : For qnotes’ extended feature on Charlotte native Billy Maddalon, visit goqnotes.com/ 61879.

Dec. 14-27, 2018

qnotes

19

20

qnotes

Dec. 14-27, 2018