QNotes, December 15, 2017 by QnotesCarolinas

Dec. 15-28 . 2017

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Dec. 15-28 . 2017

inside

qnotes

news & features

arts. news. views. Briefs 6 entertainment. News Notes: Regional

8 9 10 11 15 15 19

Mayfield restaurant boycott News Notes: U.S./World Briefs Hard holiday conversations Gay minister gets ordained Holiday religious events In Memorian: Christina Chapman Changing My Reflection

The holidays can be a time for familyand friends when discussing personal issues can present stresses. But steps can be taken to lessen the tension. page 10

more news & features …

‘The Santaland Diaries’ review Dishing with Buff Faye Tell Trinity Q Events Calendar Our People: Rev. Malu Fairley

opinions & views

4 The first Trump year 4 Alabama open letter 5 Spiritual Reflections

Federal judge to Trump: You can’t stop transgender people arts. entertainment. news. views. from joining the military Nov. 28 - /goqnotes.com/56145 LGBTQ organizations team up to show what life under ‘religious freedom’ laws could look like Dec. 4 - goqnotes.com/56411 Watch Charlotte swear in Mayor Vi Lyles and new City Council members Dec. 4 - goqnotes.com/56430

a&e / life&style 16 20 21 22 23

online

Hard conversations!

Braxton Winston, activist to council member, shows yet again why he was elected during swearing-in Dec. 4 - goqnotes.com/56440 ‘Santaland Diaries’ Review

The first Trump year

Show brings an annual cynical lens to the holiday season. page 16

Since his inaguration, Donald Trump has sent the nation into chaos, ripping at democracy. page 4

Restaurant fires gay waiter after customers leave homophobic insult on their receipt Dec. 7 - goqnotes.com/56502

Dec. 15-28 . 2017

qnotes

qnotes connect Dec. 15-28, 2017 Vol 32 No 17

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Buff Faye, Torie Dominguez, Lynette Matusik, Lainey Millen, Jesse Monteagudo, Mark Segal, Rabbi Eric Solomon, Jeff Taylor, Trinity, Jerry Yelton

front page

Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: Ken Fuquay Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Social Media Editor: Jeff Taylor, jeff@goqnotes.com Staff Writer: Jerry Yelton, jerry@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205, production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2017 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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Jesse’s Journal

The first Trump year Descending into the darkness, the fight for justice still remains by Jesse Monteagudo :: guest contributor I have not written much about Donald Trump, his administration or their ongoing attempt to destroy everything I hold dear, for two reasons. First, as one who dominates the news for better or for worse (mostly the latter), Trump has been written about by so many writers and journalists that for one more of us to do so would only be repetitious. Trump is the center of his universe and any piece about him would only enhance his monstrous ego, even if he dismisses it as “fake news.” Second, I am not getting any younger, and Trump’s antics only threaten my physical and mental well-being. This is especially true of Trump’s daily Twitter messages, a never-ending series of petty and hateful rants, the products of a sick mind. I wish I could live without enduring any more Trump tweets. Instead, the print, broadcast and online media continue to inform me about them, raising my blood pressure and making me nostalgic for the days of Obama, the Bushes, Clinton, Reagan, Carter or anyone but Trump. As a candidate for president, Trump promised to “make America great again;” by which he meant an America of native-born, white, Christian, cisgender heterosexuals. By exploiting this (admittedly brilliant) slogan, and the public’s fear of Muslims, immigrants, criminals, Blacks, queers and others, Trump got enough votes to win the Electoral College. Since then, the Donald has continued to delight his base — including white supremacists and other bigots — by attacking Muslims, immigrants, foreigners, minority groups, kneeling football players, the “fake news” media and Hillary Clinton. Meanwhile, Trump and his administration have done their best to destroy all the progress made by President Obama and his predecessors. Trump’s executive orders, his administrative and judicial appointments, his repudiation of major treaties — most notably the Paris Agreement on Climate Change — have greatly damaged this country, other nations and the planet as a whole.

When it comes to LGBTQ issues, Trump has come a long way from the day when he unfurled an upside-down Rainbow Flag at a campaign rally, all in the wrong direction. Though Trump might not be the most homophobic president ever, he has gone a long way to undo President Obama’s positive policies. With hardly an exception, Trump’s appointments (mostly white men) have extensive anti-LGBTQ records, Vice President Mike Pence being the most notorious one. Neil Gorsuch, Trump’s first appointment (so far) to the Supreme Court, is already moving that court’s direction against us. So are the federal judges that Trump keeps appointing while the public’s attention is focused on Trump’s insane twits. Trump has exploited transphobia by ordering a ban on transgender troops and withdrawing President Obama’s protections for transgender students in public schools. Under Trump’s loathsome Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, the Department of Justice has stopped protecting LGBTQ people, supporting instead Photo Credit: those who claim that their “religious freedoms” vivalapenler via are being violated by our own human rights. Adobe Stock What can we do? The judiciary has so far stopped several Trump orders, most notably his order against transgender troops, but favorable rulings will be fewer and fewer as Trump appoints more right-wing judges. And Congress will continue to allow Trump to do whatever he wants as long as the Republicans control both the Senate and the House of Representatives. We can wait for Robert Mueller to finish his investigations and, hopefully, indict Trump and his minions, but this could take forever and might never happen. What we can and must do to stop Trump from destroying us all is to vote and to resist. The recent elections in Virginia, New Jersey and elsewhere shows what the anti-Trump Resistance can do when we go out to the polls. Together, we outnumber Trump’s white supremacists and other deplorables. We are Black Lives Matter, the Dreamers, environmentalists, civil libertarians, LGBTQ activists and women and men with the courage to say “me too” and name those who are guilty of sexual harassment, sexual assault and rape, even if he is the president of the United States. We must not stop, even if it raises my blood pressure to continue. This is a fight that we cannot lose. : :

Speaking Out

An open letter to the citizens of Alabama Re: Roy Moore by Mark Segal :: guest contributor

I am an openly gay man, so you might say you hate the sinner part of me, but love me as a person. You also might tell me my civil rights are special rights that infringe on your beliefs. But most importantly, you’d say the LGBTQ community is immoral. You may see some of these individuals as politically correct, snobbish political professionals forcing their liberal values on you. I can understand those feelings, but here’s the point: You lose all the high ground in any of those debates when you elect Roy Moore to the United States Senate. You could make Alabama the first state in America to elect an accused pedophile. This is no longer about Moore. It is about the values of Alabamans. If Moore is elected, Alabama will become known as the “State of Pedophiles.” Other child molesters will most likely think Alabama is a safe space for them, and they’ll pack to move on down. But more importantly, you’ll never have that high moral ground again. In the debate about sexual morals and

child sexual abuse, it was members of the LGBTQ community who spoke up the loudest. I have done that for more than 20 years, and most LGBTQ organizations have also always spoken out against any form of sexual abuse. While we can debate other issues regarding LGBTQ rights, the point is simple: From the day Moore is elected, Alabama will be known as the state that accepts pedophiles. After all, you’d be the only state in 239 years of American history to send one to the United States Senate. Congratulations, Alabama. You’re about to be number-one in “pedophilia.” And that just validates everything those Northeast elites ever thought about you. It’s about you, not Moore. : : [Ed. Note: This story went to press prior to the election date.] — Mark Segal, Philadelphia Gay News publisher, is the nation’s mostaward-winning commentator in LGBTQ media. His recently published memoir, “And Then I Danced,” is available on Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble or at your favorite bookseller.

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spiritual reflections by Rabbi Eric Solomon :: guest contributor

Miracles spark Hanukkah celebration

Photo Credit: gburshtein via Adobe Stock

hen explaining the roots of Hanukkah, the Rabbis of the Talmud faced an important decision. Would they focus on the canister of oil that should have illuminated the Jerusalem Temple’s candelabra for only one night but ended up lasting for eight? Or, would they emphasize how a small group of Jews, the Maccabees, heroically rebelled against the Hasmoneans, defeated them and rededicated the once-desecrated sanctuary? A quick glance at the Talmud’s description reveals that, although the Maccabean victory filled the rabbis with pride, the “canister-of-oil” narrative pretty much won the day. From the rabbis’ perspective, it was much better to wait for God’s hand than to initiate a fight. They chose the safe route: prayerful hope over acts of confrontation. A few years ago, this rabbinic decision came to mind when I sat with the parents of a young transgender child. They loved their child immensely and were clear, after much thoughtful work, that they supported their child’s transition as honoring his Divine image. No matter what. But, in the midst of the North Carolina HB2 fiasco, they were angry and perplexed. They asked, “How could politicians use our precious child as a political football? Have they no compassion?” With those prophetic questions in mind, the North Carolina Jewish community had its own choice to make. While there was near-

BUILD THROUGH

universal condemnation of HB2, there were differences in how to combat it. Should we offer sermons, teachings and prayers about LGBTQ rights within our synagogues? Or, should we organize ourselves and speak out? We chose both. Congregational leaders began to educate communities about the harmful repercussions of HB2 and offered prayers of inspiration. Boards of major Jewish organizations took public stands against it. And, over 40 rabbis signed a statement denouncing the bill, eventually leading to a press conference and rousing prayer service at the state legislature. Two thousand years ago, when it came to describing the Hanukkah story, it is true that the rabbis favored the long-lasting canister of oil. But, they also understood there was something miraculous about the gutsy willingness of the Jewish people to speak truth to power. In the end, the Hanukkah miracle was not an either/ or. It took both prayer and resistance to dispel the darkness of injustice. This Hanukkah, may these two narratives remind us that the creation of every human being is a miracle, and it is our responsibility to protect that miracle through our soulful prayers and our committed actions. Wishing all who celebrate a festive, lightfilled and miraculous Hanukkah! : : — Rabbi Eric Solomon, the spiritual leader of Beth Meyer Synagogue in Raleigh, N.C. serves on the national board of Truah: A Rabbinic Call for Human Rights.

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Choir director fired JACKSONVILLE, N.C. — Ryan Mould, who had been serving as the children’s choir director at Trinity United Methodist Church, was fired on Oct. 5 as a result of his discussion about his sexual orientation with Rev. Steve Smith. Smith met with other church leaders to inform them that it was against denominational policy to keep Mould in a leadership position, Reconciling Ministries Network (RMN) reported. However, the organization said that there was no such policy in existence. The Book of Discipline for the United Methodist denomination maintains that clergy cannot be “self-avowed, practicing homosexuals.” This rule, however, was not applicable to members in leadership positions in the church who are not clergy, RMN shared and added, “Leaders at Trinity UMC were falsely led to believe they had no other option but to dismiss Mould.” Now Mould, who has been a member of the Jacksonville church since birth, feels “disgraced, confused, and misled by church leaders.” The Ryan Mould congregation was a “place where my values and morals were shaped and crafted. I now struggle with how to serve my church and ‘…do all in your power to strengthen its ministries…’” The Book of Discipline states: “All persons, regardless of age, gender, marital status, or sexual orientation, are entitled to have their human and civil rights ensured and to be protected against violence,” when it comes to protecting the civil rights of church members. RMN Executive Director Jan Lawrence said, “We are deeply troubled by the actions taken against Ryan. This is yet another painful example of why changing out denominational policies remains an urgent issue. Until all discriminatory policies are eradicated, they run the risk of being manipulated and exaggerated, broadening their potential for harm as evidenced in this painful situation.” The organization is asking its members and others to sign an open letter to Bishop Hope Morgan Ward and the North Carolina Conference Cabinet which calls for the end of harmful actions such as the one regarding Mould. It also states that misuse of church policy should never occur again. To sign the letter, go to bit.ly/2AOqyP4. info: rum-nc.org.

Charlotte TOY’s youth seek holiday ‘adoption’

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Time Out Youth Center, 3800 Monroe Rd., has announced its Adopt-aYouth holiday program. Contributions can be made to support LGBTQ youth who are in need. They range in age from 15-23. Visit bit.ly/2nML6lP to learn more. Also, access to the center’s Holiday Wish List is available online at amzn.to/2nL9Ue5. If making a gift for a specific youth, note the name on the Amazon purchase or include the name for gift drop-offs at the center. For any questions about the lists, email James Rice, III at jrice@timeoutyouth.org or call 704344-8335. Time Out is also selling handmade candles as a way of raising funds for the LGBTQ youth homeless shelter it plans to build. The tobacco and bay leaf scented candles are $20 and are in limited supply. Visit the center from 10:30 a.m.6:30 p.m., Monday-Friday, to make purchases. info: timeoutyouth.org.

Trans group makes SEED20 cut

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Transcend Charlotte was selected as one of 20 non-profits to make the 2018 SEED20 Class. The organization, headed up by Executive Director Trey Greene, was established to “support transgender and gender-diverse adults, as well as others who are struggling because of

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Dec. 15-28 . 2017

who they are or what they’ve experienced on their journey.” Other organizations joining Transcend Charlotte are: 100 Gardens, ChemoCars, Human Capital Investment, Inc., INTech Camp for Girls, Lorien Academy of the Arts, Pat’s Place Child Advocacy Center, Pop Up Produce, Project Harmony, Reading Partners, Respect Ability Foundation, RunningWorks, Shakespeare in a Chair, The Be More Foundation, The Resource Connection Gateway, Think Broader Foundation, Ultreia Society, Wise Guys, Xcel 2 Fitness and ZABS Place. Created by Social Venture Partners, the annual SEED20 program identifies, highlights and connects the community to the region’s most innovative ideas for tackling pressing social challenges. Tickets to the SEED20 OnStage finale event on April 16, 2018 will be available on Jan. 8. Ten non-profits from the class will compete to win cash awards by making three-minute pitches to a panel of judges and members of the community. info: seed20.org. transcendcharlotte.org.

Carlile presale tickets open

RALEIGH, N.C. — Presale tickets are now available for Brandi Carlile’s “By The Way, I Forgive You” concert that will be held on May 12, 2018, 8 p.m., at the Raleigh Memorial Auditorium, 2 E. South St. The tour showcases her new recordings. The work is “not an album about forgiveness in the easy sense — where someone has hurt

you and then suddenly there’s a great reconciliation and a remorse-filled scene with two people running across the golden wheat field toward an embrace that somehow undoes a lifetime of pain and damage, as if the past has no meaning. It’s about radical acceptance (not to be confused with complacency) and unconditional love,” promoters said. Other Carolina dates on the tour are: April 21-22, High Water Festival, North Charleston, S.C.; May 11, Greenfield Lake Amphitheater, Wilmington, N.C.; and May 13, Thomas Wolfe Auditorium, Asheville, N.C. Concerts for Carlile sell out fast, so those who wish to attend should make purchases online quickly. VIP upgrades may be available at some venues. info: brandicarlile.com.

Triad PFLAG welcomes holidays

GREENSBORO, N.C. — Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Greensboro are hosting their holiday party covered dish social on Dec. 19, 6:30 p.m., at College Park Baptist Church, 1601 Walker Ave. This annual winter event is filled with food, fellowship and singing. Chicken fingers and drinks will be provided. Attendees are encouraged to bring a side dish to share. info: pflaggreensboro.org.

Triangle Youth org seeks funds

DURHAM, N.C. — iNSIDEoUT is closing out its year with a fundraising campaign and are trying to reach a goal of $5,000 by Dec. 31. And, to sweeten the pot, a contributor has agreed to match every contribution dollar for dollar up to $5,000. The organization also asks those that choose to donate to become sustaining contributors. To join the initiative, visit Network for Good at bit.ly/2iJzGKq or mail a check made out to Insideout to Insideout, P.O. Box 25429, Durham, NC 27702. In other news, the group held a successful event earlier in the month with an ice cream call-a-thon which brought youth and allies together to call adult allies to thank them for their support and to let them know how they could get involved. Earlier that day, the Upsidedown members joined the iNSIDEoUT ones to enjoy an ice cream party. Recently, the organization was visited by Google who sent six representatives to learn more about iNSIDEoUT. info: insideout180.org.

SAGE ushers in holidays

RALEIGH, N.C. — SAGE Raleigh, a program of the LGBT Center of Raleigh, will celebrate the holidays with their annual potluck and party on Dec. 17, 2 p.m., at Overture Crabtree, 4408 Marriott Dr. The location is a new apartment complex designed for those over 55 years of age. Participants will be able to tour the facility. Overture will furnish the main dish and wine. Participants are asked to bring an appetizer, side dish or dessert. To keep the holiday spirit going, the center located at 324 S. Harrington St. will welcome the LGBTQ community for a drop-in on Dec. 25, 12-5 p.m. A light meal will be served throughout the afternoon. Enjoy camaraderie and the time with friends. Donations of homemade sweets and

family favorites are encourage to create a warm, homey atmosphere and can be dropped off at the center during the week prior. The event is hosted by the center’s Affirming Faith Forum. In other news, the senior organization is now offering a Sunday walking group, SAGE Walk ’n Talk, at 10 a.m. at various locations across the Triangle. And a Sunday brunch group will begin on Jan. 28, 2018, 12:30 p.m., at Driftwood in Lafayette Village, 8460 Honeycutt Rd. An RSVP is requested via email at sage@ lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

Moogfest to feature Chelsea Manning

DURHAM, N.C. — The 2018 Moogfest, slated for May 17-20, will include a festival lineup led by female, non-binary and transgender artists, including a keynote conversation with privacy rights and political transparency activist Chelsea Manning on “The Future of Creativity.” Manning’s keynote conversation will explore how technology enables radical disruption in the personal and political spheres, framing the technological future as a new creative landscape, organizers said. Performing artists include early pioneers in electronic music, alongside pop and avantgarde experimentalists of today. As of press time, artists who will be participating in the festival’s lineup are: Amber Mark, Annie Hart, Armen Ra, Aurora Halal, Bonaventure, Carla Dal Forno, CEP (Caroline Polachek), Caterina Barbieri, DJ Haram, Ellen Allien, Emily Sprague, Fatima Al Qadiri, Fawkes, Gavin Rayna Russom, Helen Money, Honey Dijon, Jamila Woods, Jenny Hval, Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith, Karyyn, Katie Gately, Kristin Kontrol, Kyoka, Lawrence Rothman, Madame Gandhi, Maliibu Miitch, Midori Takada, Nadia Sirota, Nicole Mitchell, Noncompliant, Pamelia Stickney, Sassy Black, Shanti Celeste, Sophie, Chelsea Manning Photo Credit: Stud1nt, Umfang and Tim Travers Hawkins via Upper Glossa. Wikimedia. CC SA4.0 Building on the International license. experimental format of previous years, these artists will participate in Future Sound performances by night complemented by the same artists leading Future Thought workshops, and conversations by day. Ticket passes range from $99-$1,500. Details and purchase options are available online at bit.ly/2jLLqwI. info: moogfest.com. ugstrategies.com.

Western Community makes friendly list

AUSTIN, Texas — Referral service SeniorAdvice.com published an article listing the best 15 thriving senior living communities for LGBTQ seniors and Fort Myers, Fla.’s The Resort on Carefree Boulevard took the second spot and Boone, N.C.’s Carefree Cove took the 11th spot. The company recognized that the LGBTQ senior community is currently an important part of the American population and that the struggle for resources and housing can sometimes be difficult. According to the American Psychological Association, “more than 39 million people

in the U.S. are age 65 years or older including 2.4 million people who identify as LGBTQ [individuals]. It is estimated that as the baby boomer generation ages, the older adult population will increase from 12.8 percent to an estimated 19 percent in 2030.” Although the LGBTQ community is growing steadily, the options for LGBTQ senior housing are not as flourishing. There are a handful of these communities across the country though, and SeniorAdvice. com put together the list of the most welcoming. They are (in highest to lowest order): The Palms of Manasota, Palmetto, Fla.; The Resort on Carefree Boulevard, Fort Myers, Fla.; Stonewall Gardens, Palm Springs, Calif.; Fountaingrove Lodge, Santa Rosa, Calif.; Triangle Square, Hollywood, Calif.; Rainbow Vista, Gresham, Ore.; Discovery Bay Resort, Discovery Bay, Wash.; The Residences at Seashore Point, Provincetown, Mass.; Birds of a Feather, Pecos, N.M.; A Place for Us, Cleveland, Ohio; Carefree Cove in Boone, N.C.; John C. Anderson Apartments, Philadelphia, Pa.; The Pueblo, Apache Junction, Az.; Spirit on Lake, Minneapolis, Minn.; and Townhall Apartments, Chicago, Ill.

Conference in Washington, D.C. from Jan. 24-28. Interested parties should explain to the center why they want to attend the conference via email at info@fcsj.org using Creating Change in the subject line. The event will be filled with workshops, panels and other informative and enlightening options. People of Native American/indigenous ancestry are strongly encouraged to apply. info: fcsj.org.

South Carolina AFFA member nets award

It is estimated that “48 percent of LGBTQ older couples face discrimination” according to a 2014 investigation by the Equal Rights Center. Additionally, LGBTQ seniors can sometimes encounter financial difficulties as a result of workplace discrimination, making it hard to afford senior housing and save for retirement. info: senioradvice.com. bit.ly/1gmv5Y8. bit. ly/2ArOIzM.

Regional Justice center provides sponsorships

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Freedom Center for Social Justice has announced that it is sponsoring five members of the LGBTQ community to join center staff when they attend the National LGBTQ Task Force Creating Change

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Alliance for Full Acceptance has announced that its member Tracey DeLong was recognized by the Charleston Home Builders Association as its 2017 Mortgage Loan Officer of the Year. DeLong is a mortgage banker with Ameris Bank. This awards program was developed in 1988 by the Charleston Home Builders Association’s Sales and Marketing Council to recognize excellence in Tracey DeLong the fields of sales, marketing and promotion of new homes. DeLong was recognized at the 29th Annual PRISM Awards Ceremony in Charleston, S.C. Throughout her career at Ameris Tracey has increased her production from $9 mil-

lion in 2014 to just over $30 million in 2016, the bank said. DeLong is a twice-awarded Ameris President’s Circle award winner based on volume and customer service. Ameris Bank Coastal S.C. Sales Manager Jason Fralix stated, “Tracey is a true professional and is committed to serving her community and her clients providing them with an exceptional experience.” info: ameisbank.com. affa-sc.org.

Gold comedian hits coast

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Two-time Emmy Award winner and comedian Judy Gold will visit the port city on Jan. 4, 2018, 7:30 p.m., at The Schoolhouse, 720 Magnolia Rd. Gold is a veteran of stand-up comedy, known for her “edgy wit, sharp timing, and infamous crowd work.” She is being brought in by the Charleston Jewish Community Center’s Without Walls Bookfest. Cosponsors of the event are We Are Family Judy Gold and Alliance for Full Photo Credit: IMDB Acceptance. Tickets are $35 and are available online at charlestonjcc.org/event/judygold. info: charlestonjcc.org. affa-sc.org. waf.org. Have news or other information? Send your press releases and updates for inclusion in our News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com.

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qnotes

Stepping Up

In response to City Council member avoiding his restaurants, Noble says homosexuality a sin Councilmember Mayfield clarified that she has not called on others to join her personal boycott by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes staff

Jim Noble, owner of King’s Kitchen and Rooster’s in Charlotte, N.C., as well as A Noble Grille in Winston-Salem, N.C., will soon open Noble Smoke. Photo Credit: Todd Sumlin, The Charlotte Observer

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — qnotes recently broke a story that Charlotte City Councilmember LaWana Mayfield announced on Twitter that she would not be setting foot inside a soon-to-beopened restaurant due to the owner’s anti-LGBTQ activism. Picking up on qnotes reporting, publishing partner The Charlotte Observer reached out to Mayfield and Jim Noble, the owner, for comment. Noble explained his objection to expanding Charlotte’s non-discrimination ordinance, having signed onto a letter asking Council to vote against it in 2015. It was drafted by far-right legal group Alliance Defending Freedom, currently defending the baker in the Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission.

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Meanwhile, an unbiased look at the data shows that the real people at risk when one talks about issues surrounding transgender bathroom use are transgender people themselves, who are often targeted for abuse and harassment. He also attempted to explain a sign he had hanging in his restaurants that read — “WANTED: FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD” — and the following list: “Drug addicts, alcoholics, prostitutes, pimps, all sick people, gangbangers, gamblers, strippers, AIDS victims, homosexuals, blind, confused, shoplifters, depressed, suicidal people, demon-possessed, and those who are unsaved and cursed by witchcraft.” Noble said he has updated the sign to read “sinners” instead. And to be clear, he still considers LGBTQ people to be among that lot: “All of us, according to the Bible, are born according to sin,” he said. Pressed on whether he considers homosexuality a sin, Noble responded more than once: “I have to go by what the Bible says to determine what is or what isn’t sin.” He added that he does not discriminate and that he thinks Mayfield would like him if she knew him. Mayfield reiterated that she had no intention of frequenting any of Jim Noble’s establishments, neither the new venture, Noble Smoke, nor any of his other restaurants. Those include Rooster’s and King’s The case includes Colorado baker, Jack Kitchen in Charlotte, N.C. and A Noble Phillips, who refused to make a cake for a Grille in Winston-Salem, N.C. Charlotte City Councilmember LaWana same-sex wedding, in the so-called “religious She also said her own personal refusal Mayfield says she is boycotting Jim freedom” case which is being heard before to patronize any of Noble’s restaurants Noble’s restaurant personally due to his the U.S. Supreme Court as of press time. The was not intended to be read as a call for stance on LGBTQ issues. Southern Poverty Law Center has labeled the others to do likewise. Alliance Defending Freedom a hate group. “I did not and I am not calling for a boycott,” she said. “I’m Noble explained that he opposed the ordinance because it just saying we [my family and I] have chosen not to spend our granted transgender people the right to use bathrooms matching money at his establishment.” their gender identity, claiming to do so would put children at risk. “As the District Representative I am happy for growth, as an That line of argument is popular among anti-LGBTQ groups, such out Queer Person of Color I will never patronize this business as as the NC Values Coalition. Noble is one of the signers against the fully inclusive non-dis“The main thing was the bathroom issue. That’s why I didn’t like crimination ordinance,” she wrote on Twitter late last month. it. The same as I’m responsible that everybody who works for my “Any business that is within my district where I know that company is protected, I have to protect little kids of customers. That they signed on to the letter to support discrimination through legpart’s the part I didn’t like.” islation, I will not patronize knowingly,” she told the Observer. : :

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news notes: u.s./world compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

CDC report shows HIV testing frequency increase ATLANTA, Ga. — A new Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) Vital Signs report finds that HIV is being diagnosed sooner after infection than was previously reported.

According to the report, the estimated median time from HIV infection to diagnosis was three years in 2015. CDC previously estimated that, in 2011, the median time from HIV infection to diagnosis was three years and seven months. Additionally, this latest study shows the time from HIV infection to diagnosis varied by risk group and by race/ethnicity, with straight males and people of color living

longer with undiagnosed HIV than others. And, growing percentages of gay and bisexual men, people who inject drugs, and straights at increased risk for HIV report getting a recent HIV test. “These findings are more encouraging signs that the tide continues to turn on our nation’s HIV epidemic,” said CDC Director Brenda Fitzgerald, M.D. The CDC said that getting an HIV test is the first step to learning how to reduce future risk for people who do not have HIV and to starting treatment and getting the virus under control for people living with HIV. Taking HIV medicine as prescribed allows people with the virus to live a long, healthy life and protect their partners from acquiring HIV, the CDC added. The Vital Signs analysis suggested that, without increased testing, many people living with HIV may not know they have HIV for many years. A quarter of people diagnosed with HIV in 2015 lived with HIV for seven or more years without knowing it. “Ideally, HIV is diagnosed within months of infection, rather than years later,” said Eugene McCray, M.D., director of CDC’s Division of HIV/ AIDS Prevention. “Further increasing regular HIV testing and closing testing, diagnoses and treatment gaps is essential to stopping HIV in our communities.”

QUICK HITS —————————————————————————————— A gay man, Mark Seaman, won a ruling on a 2009 incident in which the couple were thrown out of a taxi when Seaman kissed his partner on top of the head as they drove away from the Philadelphia International Airport. The Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations ruled that the taxi driver had violated the city’s non-discrimination law and that the company was ordered to pay Seaman $500, LGBTQ Nation reported. info: lgbtqnation.com The latest compilation of Broadway Cares/ Equity Fights AIDS, “Broadway’s Carols for a Cure,” has been released. This marks the 19th in the annual series. Casts from “Aladdin,” “Anastasia,” “Avenue Q,” “Beautiful,” “A Bronx Tale,” “Cats,” “Charlie & the Chocolate Factory,” “Chicago,” “Come from Away,” “Dear Evan Hansen,” “Groundhog Day,” “Hamilton,” “Jersey Boys,” “Kinky Boots,” “The Lion King,” “Phantom of the Opera,” “ School of Rock,” “ Waitress,” “ War Paint” and “Wicked” leant their talents to the album. info: broadwaycares.org. Vizin, a Los Angeles-based Native American drag queen who went from 700 pounds to 200 pounds, debuted her dance/ pop single, “You Make Me Feel (Mighty Real),” which outranked Taylor Swift on the Billboard Dance Club Songs Chart. It is an re-imagined version of the original dance tune by Sylvester. The performer charted independently without first appearing on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and joins drag legends Divine and Lady Bunny with the same distinction. info: youtube.com/watch?v=57XkaYnzDSU. California Senate President Pro Tem Kevin de León announced on Dec. 7 that Sen. Toni

Atkins was the consensus pick of the Senate Democratic Caucus to succeed him as leader. Atkins will be both the first LGBTQ individual and the first female senate president. The formal vote will be held in early January and the transition will be take place later in the year. info: eqca.org. “Golden Girls” star Bea Arthur has been memorialized with an LGBTQ homeless youth shelter named for her. The Bea Arthur Residence, located in New York, will welcome its first clients soon, The Huffington Post reported. The project is associated with the Ali Forney Center. The residence opened its doors for a holiday event on Nov. 30. The city’s Mayor Bill de Blasio declared the day “Bea Arthur Day” in her memory and applauded the efforts. info: huffingtonpost.com. aliforneycenter.org. The Human Rights Campaign has released its 2018 Buyer’s Guide, just in time for holiday shopping. Some Carolina companies rated included are: Bank of America, 75; Belk, 0; Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina, 75; Compass Group, 90; Delhaize America, 100; Duke Energy, 100; and Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams, 100. info: hrc.org. The Gill Foundation has announced that it has selected Brad Clark to become its new president and CEO. He will transition into the position from his tenure as the foundation’s vice president of partnerships. info: denverpost.com. The 23rd annual Critics’ Choice Awards were announced and GLAAD shared that LGBTQ-inclusive film and television dominated nominations. Represented were LGBTQ actors,

creators and inclusive films and television series. The winners will be announced on Jan. 11 at 8 p.m. on The CW. info: glaad.org. criticschoice.com. New blood donation rules for gay and bisexual men have come into effect in Scotland, Wales and England, meaning more gay and bisexual men will be eligible to give blood. info: equality-network.org. Diversity Richmond’s Trans & GNC Care Package Program has begun and offers five different kits for feminine, masculine, menstrual, medical and postoperative care, GayRVA reported. Items include gender-specific clothing and undergarments, makeup, ice packs, bandages, toiletries, and more. The initiative was founded by Virginia Commonwealth University student Taylor Davis. info: gayrva.com. The National LGBTQ Task Force is hosting its 30th annual Creating Change Conference, “Learn. Connect. Resist.,” from Jan. 24-28 in Washington D.C. info: thetaskforce.org. Barbie, who has been heading toward supporting inclusion, is rocking some new threads these days touting a political stand compliments of Los Angeles-based designer and blogger Aimee Song. And she is holding the rainbow flag high in support of LGBTQ causes. Song purchased her own Barbie and recently had her dressed in a “Love Wins” T-shirt, modeled after Song’s T-shirt line, along with her friend Aimee which she posted to her Instagram account. Barbie Style showed the two decked out in blue jeans sitting on a hassock with a pet. Half the profits of the sale of the shirts at $68 each goes to The Trevor Project. info: romper.com. songofstyle.com. Atheist author and blogger Hemant Mehta has teamed up with activist and author Camille Beredjick to pen the collaborative “Queer Disbelief” which examines the overlap of atheism and the LGBTQ community. info: worldreligionnews.com. Best known for his award-winning musical comedy, “Spork,” J.B. Ghuman, Jr. has released his latest original art installation, a 30-minute film that took nearly five years to create, “kEEp scrEEming.” Drawing inspiration from Disney’s “The Little Mermaid,” the film features appearances by Scissor Sisters’ Jake Shears, “RuPaul’s Drag Race”’s Tammie Brown, adult film star Colton Ford, as well as Ghuman. The film is not intended to teach or lecture, but rather to “activate minds and hearts.” info: jbghumanjr.com. Coming out and its impact on the sports industry was a career-defining moment, said Jason Collins, retired NBA player and the first openly gay man to play in the NBA, at an AARP event hosted in collaboration with SAGE and the City of Philadelphia’s Office of LGBT Affairs in late November. info: aarp.org. The Gay Christian Network will hold their WomenConnect Retreat on Jan. 18, 2018 in Denver, Colo. Rev. Dr. Karen Oliveto, the first openly lesbian bishop in the United Methodist Church, will be one of the featured speakers. Price is $39 which includes dinner. info: gaychristian.net.

news

GLSEN released their recent Respect Report that included articles by two members of the GLSEN National Student Council. One was entitled “Why Every Child Should Read Books About Diverse Cultures” and the other was “Advice on Making Trans-Inclusive Schools, from My Queer School Counselor.” info: glsen.org/blog. NGLCC Co-Founders Justin Nelson and Chance Mitchell published an op-ed in The Advocate highlighting what was at stake for the LGBTQ community and the economy in this case. “We are all red-blooded, tax-paying Americans who each deserve equal treatment under the law, and equal access to every publicly accessible business and service.” info: nglcc.org. Step Feed reported that Egyptian authorities were cracking down on the nation’s LGBTQ community, while doing so represented by an openly pro-LGBTQ public relations and lobbying firm, APCO. info: stepfeed.com. Metropolitan Community Church has released videos of its August 2017 People of African Descent Conference held in St. Louis, Mo. Topics range from “Positioning Our Black Experience in Love” to “Challenging What Is: Engaging the Dynamics of Whiteness in MCC.” Former Durham, N.C. St. John’s MCC Rev. Brendan Boone was also featured with his evening worship presentation, “Grounded in Love: Conquering the Path of Greatest Resistance.” info: mccchurch.net. Pluralsight, an enterprise technology learning platform, announced that its philanthropic entity Pluralsight One hosted Utah’s first-ever Hour of Code workshop for LGBTQ youth at Encircle’s IGNITE summit Dec. 2. info: pluralsight.com. encircletogether.org/ignite. Los Angeles, Calif.’s Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, one of only two academic medical centers in the Western U.S. that offers genderaffirming genital surgery, has a new interdisciplinary, research-based Transgender Surgery and Health Program. info: cshs.org. An exhibit memorializing playwright Tennessee Williams, who called Key West, Fla. home from the late 1940s until his death in 1983, has expanded to become the Tennessee Williams Museum under new dual leadership. info: kwahs.org. fla-keys.com/keywest. TD Bank announced it will assist in financing Cherry Hill, N.J. Project HOME’s development of an affordable housing, LGBTQ-friendly residence for formerly homeless young adults. Project HOME is a non-profit organization empowering individuals to break the cycle of poverty and homelessness through affordable housing, employment, health care and education. The young adult residence will be the first of its kind in Pennsylvania, and among the first in the nation. info: tdbank.com. Lambda Literary’s Board of Directors has announced that Executive Director Tony Valenzuela will step down in June of 2018, ending his nine-year tenure. A national search for his replacement will be launched in January. info: lambdaliterary.org.

Dec. 15-28 . 2017

qnotes

Heading Home

Hard conversations around the holidays? Tips and strategies for weathering visits with family and friends by Jerry Yelton :: qnotes contributor

round the holidays, a lot of LGBTQ folks, particularly in the South, have to deal with difficult family members or friends and the ensuing difficult conversations. Trying to help Aunt Carol or Uncle Don learn why some of their beliefs are outdated or prejudiced is often nearly impossible, but read on to learn a few tips for making these conversations a little more successful. Don’t expect overnight changes First and foremost, when having a conversation trying to educate someone about the difference between sex and gender or about friends and loved ones of differing faith backgrounds, remember: family members are not going to immediately say, “Oh! You’re completely right.” Their beliefs and ideas are entrenched in who they are, just as yours are. In these conversations, approach with the idea of incremental change. The goal is not to completely overhaul their belief system in one go, but to plant a seed of doubt about a preconceived notion or idea. Eventually, someone may be won over with consistent effort. Change happens continually Building from the previous tip, these conversations have to be had consistently and frequently. Approach your relatives each time you interact with them and extend the olive branch of conversation. You have to be willing to put in the time and effort to push them forward. Photo Credit: Gabriel Blaj via Adobe Stock

Know your stuff If you plan to enter into these conversations when you head back to Small Town, U.S.A., educate yourself on topics you think may come up. If you are able to share insight and stories about other identities, particularly those with less privilege than your own, it is your responsibility as an ally to others to bring educated understanding.

can’t approach from this angle (i.e., slurs toward groups of color or queer people, expressions of violence, etc.), but utilizing compassionate accountability through smaller conversations can help both parties realize their common ground.

Do not enter conversations with anger Everyone has had a moment at the dinner table where they want to stab their steak knife into the table, but shouting or yelling at relatives or friends who express problematic or prejudiced beliefs is not going to win any new champions for equity. Try and enter these conversations from a neutral place to help your relatives/friends learn something new or different from their previous experiences.

Action strategy, not ‘-ism’ strategy When faced with a prejudiced comment, try to hold the mentality of the person’s action having problematic or unkind implications instead of immediately labeling the person a transphobe or racist. Often, people will shut down if they are labeled as one of these terms; if you can, direct the conversation toward why that single action could be misinterpreted or hurtful, and see if you can learn together how to move forward.

Compassionate accountability Approaching a conversation with compassionate accountability means that your relative or friend is responsible for the insensitive comment they have made, but you help them work backwards toward why they hold that belief instead of outright accusing them of hate speech or bigotry. In these situations, there are some obvious words and conversations where you

Be cautious of outing yourself to make a point In these situations, LGBTQ folks are often tempted to make a comment like, “Well, I am bisexual, so it does matter to me!” Revealing your identity in this manner places it as an angry concept in the minds of your family or friends. Utilize stories from your life to help others understand, but keep yourself safe

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Dec. 15-28 . 2017

and avoid angrily bringing your identity into spaces where you will be in danger. Self care is important Remember: these conversations are labeled difficult for a reason. You matter more than immediately changing Barbara’s perspective. If you feel unsafe or unable to continue with a conversation for whatever reason: tap out. Taking time with these conversations matters. Don’t overstress yourself or you will run out of resources to help others learn with you. Know resources for you If you are feeling unheard and unappreciated in situations with family, remember there are resources available online or over the phone. Here are a couple of important ones: National Suicide Prevention Life 1-800-273-8255, suicidepreventionlifeline.org. The Trevor Project 866-488-7386, thetrevorproject.org. Trans Lifeline 877-565-8860, translifeline.org.

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life

Faith & Values

A life of service for the faithful realized Ken Fuquay receives ordination, a first for the Charlotte Presbytery by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

en Fuquay was always someone whose love for the church helped shape and create the person he is today. This journey was done with joys and struggles and eventually led him to become a “person of the cloth.” His father was a minister at Mount Pleasant Pentecostal Holiness Church and the family’s life always revolved around all things pertaining to it. The household was filled with gospel sounds. At the age of five, his parents stood him up on a stool between them at the Wednesday night Bible study where the time was replete with song. As he matured, he attended a Pentecostal Holiness junior college and participated in Sunday school, Lifeliners, Bible study, teen talent, Bible quiz, youth camp, camp meeting, choir and more. During his childhood, he followed his father’s posture in the basement of the church and took an old lectern, stood up on a box behind it and preached to the neighborhood kids, he said. He even took up an offering because that, along with laying on of hands, was something all preachers did, he added. “Being raised in a pastor’s home is replete with ministerial desires. I learned the nuances of ministry; I saw the heartbreak and the incomparable joys of ministry. Two things happened growing up in that environment. I thought I felt called to ministry, but I was unable to discern whether it was a true calling or the product of the long shadow cast by my father. Secondly, growing up, I realized that something was different about me. As a boy, I did not have language for it. But as I moved into junior high and high school, my classmates provided the language; they called me faggot and queer. It was then that the twisted and guilt-ridden theology began to slam up against the fiber of who God created me to be, and I began an exhausting struggle.” It was not until later in life that he found his way to the Presbyterian church. As life would have it, he experienced a time when he rebelled against church life and religion and gravitated toward a party lifestyle, including drugs. But that was not long lived as his pull back to faith captured him once again. “I woke up one Sunday Morning with a keen realization that unless something extreme occurred in my life that day, I was going to die. I left my husband in bed, got dressed in my finest high-dollar suit and drove my nice 5-series BMW to a little unassuming church on the wrong side of Charlotte. Some friends had been consistently telling me about a choir at a little Presbyterian church on Seigle Ave. near 10th in Charlotte. I drove there that morning, still under the influence of the previous night’s party, but knowing with everything inside of me that something had to change, and it had to change immediately. As I neared the church, I was a bit frightened to park my car on those streets — I feared it might be stolen. But as I parked, I heard music coming from the church; I saw people from all walks of life walking up the steps to the unassuming sanctuary. I entered the sanctuary and the choir was singing ‘We are climbing Jacob’s Ladder.’ The choir was packed and so was the sanctuary. And I began to notice that the choir and congregation were made up of old and young, black and white, gay and straight; it was something I had never experienced in church, ever! The pastor was female and black. I cannot remember the content of her fiery sermon that day, but I remember seven strangers coming up to me after church, putting their arms around me, telling me they loved me and inviting me to come back.” His excitement exploded. “I raced home to tell my husband that I was changed. We began to attend to Seigle Avenue Presbyterian Church. We began to disciple our lives under the ministry of Pastor Floretta Watkins. We joined the choir. We found community. I became an ordained elder at [the church]. It was there that I discovered the fullness of God who fills all in all. It was there, that for the first time in my life, I saw and experienced Christ in the fullness of the good news of the gospel,” he shared. Since then, he has continued his career in broadcast education and has pursued a degree that would allow him to be a full-fledged minister. In fact, he became the first out gay minister in the Presbytery of Charlotte, although not the first gay minister for the denomination.

Rev. Ken Fuquay brings soulfulness into his life’s work both as a minister and as a performer.

He said about that arduous and painstaking experience, “Fortunately, or unfortunately, I am not the first gay minister to be ordained by the Presbytery of Charlotte. I may have been the first to stand on the floor of Presbytery and utter those the words, ‘I am gay’ on the day I was presented as a candidate for ordination.” His journey was, however, not taken alone as others help serve as support and guides along the way to ordination candidacy in the Presbyterian Church (USA). “I remember vividly the day I was presented for candidacy. It was a cold February afternoon in 2013. Many of the ‘saints’ from Mulberry Presbyterian Church, where I attended at the time, gathered in the first few pews of Cooks Memorial Presbyterian Church along with a couple hundred or so elders from across the Presbytery. My husband sat in the third row. My pastor, Rev. Chris Carrasco stood with me as I articulated a brief faith statement. We knew that the floor of the Presbytery, which had over the past few years been the scene of many contentious and passionate debates on the question of the ordination of gays and lesbians, would be open for questions at the conclusion of my statement. I was humbled as I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit, felt the hand of my pastor on my shoulder and saw the smiles and enthusiastic eyes of those who gathered in support that day. When the floor of Presbytery was opened for questions, there was a pregnant pause. Hearing no questions, the chairperson of the committee on Preparation for Ministry asked all of those in favor of granting candidacy status to say ‘Yea.’ A chorus of ‘yeas’ was lifted up. When the chairperson asked for all those opposed to say, ‘Nay,’ there was one loud ‘nay.’ I was asked later if the ‘nay’ startled or angered me. The answer is, ‘no.’ Because the Presbyterian Church (USA) discerns in community, every voice matters,” he shared of that experience. His dream of becoming a minister came true on Nov. 4 when his ordination service was held at Statesville Avenue Presbyterian Church. Fuquay loves the scriptures and is convinced “that the very thing that has been used throughout my life to condemn me, is the very thing that sets me free to be who God created me to be. I

hope to instill in this congregation a love for scripture. Through scripture, we discover a God who above all wants to release humanity from bondage. And revealed in Christ, we discover a God, who above all, loves all of creation in vulnerability.” Fuquay’s first pulpit experience has come as Matters to Mission (M2M) Charlotte’s “lay pastor,” which he has held for two years. The church plant met in his home for months. He would preach two Sundays a month in that place and in June 2016, M2M Charlotte moved into The Evening Muse located at 3227 N. Davidson St. The excitement was high for him on that first day in the new locale as he “was able to preach my first sermon in our new digs at the Muse” and “we also served communion (the Eucharist). Interim Executive Presbyter, Rev. Betty Meadows, joined us for the event and led us through that sacrament,” he said. “I have always been inspired and mesmerized by the sharing in communion. Being able to lead in that sacrament has been a dream of mine. So, the first Sunday after I was ordained, M2M Charlotte participated in the Eucharist and shared in communion. We used a loaf of bread personally baked by a good friend of mine who is Hospice chaplain at Hospice and Palliative Care Charlotte Region and we used a chalice and paten given to me by some very dear friends. As I held the bread and cup in that space for the first time as a ordained Minister of Word and Sacrament, it was surreal. It was also very sobering. This is very serious. Yes, ordination was a goal of mine. It was a level of accountability in ministry that I sought and longed for. Yes, we might have broken some ground getting there; yes, it took a lot of blood and sweat and tears (literally); yes the pomp and circumstance that surrounded the ordination moment was stunning and exhilarating; but holding the bread and cup reminded me that it is our participation in bringing the good news of the gospel to a hurting world so desperately in need of that good news that matters most. We are simply broken vessels holding out bread and wine saying, ‘Come, taste and see how good life can be.’” The congregation has been supportive of Fuquay for years. “They have been faithful over and above what I could have ever expected. It has truly been a gift. I have not done this alone. I may have been the one to stand for ordination…, but it was as much for this congregation of gatherers and friends as it was for me. I, along with M2M Charlotte, are still finding our footing in the neighborhood. I, nor the congregation, has encountered any animosity from the community. We have had several neighbors from the NoDa Community join us [for] worship and outreach. For that I am grateful.” Fuquay holds a music degree from Emmanuel College in Franklin Springs, Ga., and a Masters of Arts in Christian Education and Masters of Divinity, both from Union Presbyterian Seminary in Charlotte, N.C. He has a background in radiotelevision with a specialty in commercial copywriting and was an ad copywriter for several major FM radio stations in the Queen City. He is co-owner and co-director in charge of curriculum at Carolina School of Broadcasting, where he also teaches communication courses. Music has always been something that Fuquay has loved, quoting Albert Einstein who said, “Music is the mind of God.” He treasures making music with friends and lends vocals to one band in “two incarnations,” Three Fold-Chord and Heidi Dove and Fretless. They offer their talents at nursing homes, churches and breweries. Fuquay and his husband Terry have been in a relationship for 34 years and in 2011 they were married in New York City. They are parents to Abby-dail, a mini-golden doodle. His husband works with adults with developmental disabilities. They are both actively involved with the ministry of M2M Charlotte. Hobbies for Fuquay include music, writing, as well as volunteerism with the chaplaincy program at Levine Dickson Hospice House in Charlotte, as well as the Uptown Men’s Shelter and Urban Ministries Room in the Inn. For more information about Fuquay’s church, visit M2MCharlotte.org. : :

Dec. 15-28 . 2017

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Dec. 15-28 . 2017

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Dec. 15-28 . 2017

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life

Celebration

Religious holiday services and events Welcoming and affirming congregations roll out welcome mat by Torie Dominguez :: guest contributor

Events Dec. 21 Blue Christmas Service 7 p.m. A service of remembrance and hope for all, especially those who are experiencing grief and loss this season, held simultaneously at two locations: Metropolitan Community Church of Charlotte 7121 Orr Rd., Charlotte 704-563-5810 mymcccharlotte.org. St. John’s Metropolitan Community Church 622 Maywood Ave., Raleigh 919-834-2611 stjohnsmcc.org. Dec. 24 Christmas Eve Dessert Buffet 12:30 p.m. St. John’s Metropolitan Community Church 622 Maywood Ave., Raleigh 919-834-2611 stjohnsmcc.org.

Feast of the Nativity Worship Experience 6:30 p.m. St. John’s Metropolitan Community Church 622 Maywood Ave., Raleigh 919-834-2611 stjohnsmcc.org. Candlelight Christmas Service 11 p.m. Metropolitan Community Church of Winston-Salem 4105 Patsy Dr., Winston-Salem mccwschurch.com. A special evening service held in addition to regular Sunday morning worship at 11 a.m. Other LGBTQ Inclusive Churches across the Carolinas Church of the Holy Spirit Fellowship Non-denominational 1005 Burke St., Suite B, Winston-Salem 336-631-1331 Pastor Roger E. Hayes Imani Metropolitan Community Church 3602 C-View St., Durham

919-682-0154 imanimcc.org. Pastor Marilyn Bowens Metropolitan Community Church Sacred Journey 1735 5th Ave. W., Hendersonville 828-693-9110 mccsacredjourney.org. Pastor Joan Saniuk Metropolitan Community Church of Charleston 7860 Dorchester Rd. #A, Charleston 843-760-6114 mcccharleston.com. Rev. R. David Smith New Life Metropolitan Community Church 1201 S. New Hope Rd., Gastonia (@ All Saints Episcopal Church) 704-334-0350 newlifemccnc.org. Pastor Dawn Flynn St. Jude’s Metropolitan Community Church 19 N. 26 St., Wilmington 910-762-5833 stjudemcc.org. Pastor John A. McLaughlin

Sacred Souls Community Church

(United Church of Christ) 2127 Eastway Dr., Charlotte 980-785-6519, 980-237-0260

sacredsoulscommunitychurch.org. Senior Pastor Bishop Tonyia M. Rawls SouthPark Christian Church

(Disciples of Christ) 6650 Park South Dr., Charlotte 704-554-1066 southparkchristian.net. Rev. Bruce Baker-Rooks Rev. Kevin Baker-Rooks

Unity Fellowship Church

4800 Wedgewood Dr., Charlotte ufccharlotte.org. Pastor Sonja Lee

This is only a partial list of congregations whose membership consists mainly of LGBTQ individuals or who are welcoming and affirming. Email editor@goqnotes.com to have other congregations listed.

In Memoriam

Christina Chapman Sept. 13, 1962-Dec. 2, 2017 by Shane Windmeyer :: guest contributor

SUBSCRIBE!

Christina Chapman, 55, passed away Dec. 2, 2017 in Charlotte, N.C. Surviving her are her pet dog Cookie and her caregivers and friends: Terry W. Burris, Terry Shultz, Mark Banther, Linda Owens, Jennifer Brooks, Jeannette Barringer, Adam Morgan, Theresa Elenburg, Darrell Houser and Paris Leigh. Special thanks to Lori Moran with Hospice. Christina was a beloved friend to many and will be remembered as a kind spirit and a good cook. She was also a wonderful decorator, as one dear friend recalls, and could turn

roadside treasures into chic and stunning decor. Her doggie Cookie was her best friend, and she walked him daily, talking to neighbors and enjoying the fresh air and sunshine. Her friends each describe her as special and a beautiful caring soul. A remembrance will be held at Chasers Charlotte NoDa located at 3217 The Plaza and will be announced after the first of the year. : :

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Dec. 15-28 . 2017

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a&e

Stage Review

A dark, twisted comedy about a happy, holiday tradition: ‘The Santaland Diaries’ Show brings an annual cynical lens to the holiday season courtesy of North Carolina author, David Sedaris by Jerry Yelton :: qnotes contributor

acy’s is infamous for their annual tradition of Santaland: a monstrous, delightful combination of the magic of Santa Claus and thousands upon thousands of screaming children and exasperated parents. David Sedaris, one time holiday elf now acclaimed North Carolinian writer, first read his “Santaland Diaries” story on NPR’s “Morning Edition,” in which he recounted his experiences in Santa’s wonderland in New York City. Two and half decades later, The Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte has brought the story to life on stage at Queens University. The two-man cast of “The Santaland Diaries” — Chester Shepherd and Jeremy DeCarlos — adeptly balanced biting humor and an array of sight gags to keep the viewer entertained during the 80-minute show — a feat in itself. From recanting tales of oversized, biggerthan-life elves (an all too obvious oxymoron) to delivering horror stories of the countless Santas that lived in the Macy’s Santa’s House, the actors brought a zest for dark humor to a brightly candy-cane coated stage. Followers of twisted tales bending the typical holiday narrative will find

Chester Shepherd (left) and Jeremy DeCarlos (right) bring their talents to the stage during ‘The Santaland Diaries,’ being held at The Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte.

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Dec. 15-28 . 2017

themselves delighted to laugh at the bizarre training rituals and exaggerated personalities rife throughout the workshop. For the most part, the show plays with the balance of heart and humor quite well, inviting viewers to laugh at the experiences of the narrator, Crumpet, that are complimented by the musical and comedic accompaniment of his partner. However, Sedaris is known for his center left jokes, and there are a few of which that ought to be parsed from more recent incarnations of his work. This interpretation was no exception. Theatre is an ever-evolving piece of work, and the use of words like “retarded,” an ableist slur against those with mental disabilities, takes viewers out of the moment and creates distance from otherwise likeable, if somewhat eccentric characters. Aside from a few hiccups with outdated language, the feature brings a character that fondly falls for a fellow elf by the name of Snowball front and center in the audience’s eyes. Fans of Sedaris’s work, satirical looks at holiday traditions, and those who like a good bit of audience interaction should head over to the Headley Theatre at Queens University now. “The Santaland Diaries” wraps up its two-week run on Dec. 23. : :

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Sleep Hygiene

Are you getting enough restful sleep? Why is sleep important? Sleep is important to almost all aspects of your health — mental health, physical health, immune function, and cognitive function. Not getting enough sleep has been associated with heart disease and shorter life expectancy. Not getting enough sleep can also lead to drowsy driving and car crashes. Almost 30% of adults in the United States report getting 6 hours of sleep or less per night. We need to sleep more! How much sleep should I be getting? The National Sleep Foundation recommends that adults 18 to 64 years old get 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night on a regular basis. Adults 65 years and older are encouraged to get 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night on a regular basis. Babies, children, and teenagers require more sleep than adults. Sleep Hygiene Tips & Tricks • Establish a relaxing bedtime routine. Not only will this relax you, but it can help your body recognize that it’s time to go to sleep! Try reading a book, stretching, or taking a warm shower. • Limit daytime naps to 30 minutes. Short naps of 20-30 minutes can improve mood, alertness, and performance, but they do not make up for inadequate nighttime sleep. • Go to sleep and wake up at the same time throughout the week, even on weekends! This will help your body know

when it’s supposed to be asleep, and make falling asleep and waking up easier. • If you can’t sleep, don’t look at the clock. Just get up, go to another room, and do something relaxing until you feel drowsy enough to sleep. • Avoid using electronics at least 30 minutes before bed — the blue light from electronics can prevent your body from making the natural sleep hormone, melatonin. • Optimize your sleep environment! Studies show that a comfortably cool environment, between 60 to 67 degrees Fahrenheit, can improve your Photo Credit: sleep. Consider using blackout curtains, Monkey Business via Adobe Stock ear plugs, and/or sound machines to minimize disturbances. • Exercise can improve your sleep quality. Even just walking for 10 minutes a day can help you have more restorative, restful sleep. • Avoid caffeine and nicotine close to bedtime. When should I see a doctor or health care provider about trouble sleeping? • If you are less than 12 years old or greater than 65 years old • If you are pregnant • If you wake up frequently throughout the night

• If you wake up early in the morning • If you have had difficulty sleeping for more than 3 weeks • If there is a reason you can’t take Benadryl or if you’re still having symptoms after 7-10 days of Benadryl. *If you’re planning on seeing a health care provider for insomnia, try to keep a sleep diary for 7-14 days before. This diary should include things like: when you get into bed, when you fall asleep, how many times you wake up during the night, how long it takes you to get back to sleep, when you wake up, when you get out of bed, and any daytime naps. Over-the-Counter Recommendations • Use over-the-counter medication if you only have trouble falling asleep or if you only experience insomnia occasionally. • Try Benadryl (diphenhydramine) 25mg or 50mg by mouth an hour before bedtime. This is a short-term solution, so only take it for 2-3 nights and then skip the Benadryl the next night to see if you can sleep without it. Don’t use Benadryl for more than 7-10 consecutive nights. + Don’t take Benadryl if you have benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), closed angle glaucoma, angina, heart arrhythmias, or dementia.

Dec. 15-28 . 2017

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Dec. 15-28 . 2017

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life

changing my reflection by Lynette Matusik :: qnotes contributor

Transition milestones

s I write today, I realize I have recently hit a milestone. It has been 9 months since beginning the medical side to transitioning. I feel like things are shifting into high gear as my body is finally starting to fully process the high doses of estrogen I’ve been taking all this time. Changes are truly starting to take effect. After 10 hours of electrolysis, facial hair has gone from a shadowy blight to a very manageable problem. The pain has been unreal for areas such as the upper lip. I’ve spent hundreds of dollars on hair removal alone over several months, and it’s something that wouldn’t carry the same value to everyone. I’ve tried a few sessions of laser hair removal, and it is hard to quantify the results from session to session. There was hardly any pain with laser, and a session lasted a fraction of the time as electrolysis. Afterward, I could hardly notice a difference, but laser seems to take more than one session to have any effect at all. Ultimately a combination of both for different areas is what’s working best for me, but results can vary. Fat distribution and growth has been interesting. I’ve gained a little weight since the start of this process and which is not a bad thing. It happens at varying rates. Sometimes progress will move at a glacial pace, and then over a few days I’ll notice slight changes. Breast development has gotten to the point where I’ve had to go for my first bra fitting. The experience was surprisingly super casual and not awkward at all. I try not to get too high of hopes for where development might end up, and I’m pleased with what my body has done thus far. It’s amazing what the human body is capable of. With really very little changes in my usual routine, my body has flipped all these tiny switches and receptors to utilize the full potential of my DNA. It’s beautiful to think about from a scientific perspective and something I appreciate often. Obviously, there’s

so much more to being and becoming a woman than the biological component, but for me it’s been one of the root factors in why I’m transitioning. I can be wearing the best looking outfit, have my makeup on point and have society 100 percent validate my “status” as a woman…even then I still don’t think I’d be content without the secondary sex characteristics I’ve been developing. Underneath everything, I still have to live in my skin. That’s why I’ve strived for physical health every step of the way. That’s why I “need” to medically transition. Something I try to do in both my writing and in everyday life is highlight the universal relativity of the process of transitioning. No matter who you are, everyone needs to take care of themselves. Everyone has relationships they want to be successful. Everyone wants to be safe, accepted and happy. We all need love and support. These are all boxes that I’ve tried to check in order to have a healthy transition. My identity of self needed working on, but I’m finally getting there. My perspective on the negative aspects of transitioning and social issues is that the problem is a bigger picture than I feel many realize. My real struggle isn’t some special exclusive transsexual issue at all. We all share a universal commonality of a desire to survive. That’s something I

can’t relate to in any trans-celebrity sob story. I haven’t been able to worry about how society feels about me if I’m worrying about how to take care of myself on a basic needs level. We all strive for survival. It’s how were wired. To truly evolve from a mode of survival, I’ve needed independence and to find inner strength. I found mine at a young age, not by choice. The world hasn’t always been so kind to me, and it’s not even an LGBT issue. Big picture here, life is hard. Finding the strength to stand on your own and say “I got this” is the first step to true evolution. I can’t stand with you if I can’t stand alone, otherwise you’re a crutch. Once we all realize we’re stronger than we think, only then can we break free of survival mode. What comes next is no longer just simply surviving, but living. I feel a chapter ending with my writing. While an interesting subject, there’s so much more to this than the physiological component of transitioning. I’ve felt a growing frustration recently in what I can share with my experiences, far beyond what’s happening to my body. I’m excited for the future and everything in the articles to come. : :

Dec. 15-28 . 2017

qnotes

dishing with buff faye by Buff Faye :: qnotes contributor :: info@bufffaye.com

Buff Faye’s favorite things

dismissal and the shade of it all.

t’s that time! No matter what you celebrate this time of year, finding that perfect gift for that special drag queen in your life is no easy task. So I have scoured the web looking for my 10 favorite gifts this holiday season. Get online. Get your credit card ready. Go shop! Beauty Killer Eye Shadow Palette $45.00 jeffreestarcosmetics.com. Extreme pigment for an extreme Queen. 10 jaw-dropping shades. Three formulas in this palette: matte, frost & glitter. Enjoy them all. This product is vegan and cruelty-free. Saint RuPaul Prayer Candle $13.95 etsy.com. “Sashay, you pray!” Anything is possible with Momma Ru. Light this prayer candle and worship the queen herself. Liquid Poison Bundle Sale $162/Regular $180 sugarpill.com.

All 10 liquid poison lipsticks, ultra-pigmented and super long-lasting. The creamy, mousse-like formula never feels dry on your lips! Love this! Valentina “I’d like to keep it on, please” Magnet Frame and Easel $18.50 etsy.com. Oh, the drama. Give the gift that keeps stirring the pot on Valentina’s untimely

Organza Cabaret Drag Ruffle Jacket+Skirt $150 charismatico. com. Ruffles are never too much. Spruce up your drag with a multipurpose ruffle jacket and skirt. Show off with this big reveal!

Outfitter Wigs Price Range $200-$600 outfitterswig.com. Sculpted custom designer wigs, inspired by your imagination. When you need something special, try my favorite wig designers based in Los Angeles. Alaska Thunderfuck “Hieeeeeeee!” Mug $22.24 etsy.com.

Drink up! Whatever you love to sip, share it with your favorite queen. This mug is all about Alaska — with her famous “hieeeee” catchphrase and iconic lips. Kiss her every morning!

Coco Montrese “Dorito Orange” Sticker $2.98 redbubble.com. Can’t miss this unique gift, a Dorito shaped Coco Montrese sticker in a few sizes. A great gift to the diehard “RuPaul’s Drag Race” fan in your life! FLAWLESS Fan $17.95 dirtsquirrel.co. Bow down, bitches! When you’re flawless, everyone should know. Plus you can find other fans with slogans like SHADE or DADDY! Make your #1 fan say something about you. Pumps Cologne Queen $81.00 thedragqueencloset.com.

Styling and profiling…what the heel! Now this holiday you can have the perfect handmade peep-toe stiletto. A stunning look for any queen.

DRAG TIP: Google your favorite drag queen to see what merchandise she has for the holiday! — Buff Faye calls the Queen City home and loves to shop online and fall asleep before she buys anything (plus she loves to raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. Plus don’t forget her monthly Friday & Saturday night shows, Sunday drag brunch and regular Friday night party bus. Learn more at AllBuff.com. Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye SHOUTOUTS: Come out to Buff Faye’s Favorite Things Drag Brunch on Saturday, Dec. 16 at noon at Pure Pizza. Bring a new toy to donate to Buff Faye’s Toy Drive benefitting Levine Children’s Hospital.

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Dec. 15-28 . 2017

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tell trinity

the two scenarios are like oil and water and never mix.)

by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Dearest Trinity, Just ‘cause I’m single, do I always have to look the part? Must I always be selling myself? A Bachelor’s Life, Orlando, FL

Dating someone out of your ‘league’ Hey Trinity, I’m not unattractive, but I’m attracted to guys way out of my league. How do I meet and eventually date someone way better looking than me? Upping The Ante?, Chigaco, IL Hey Upping The Ante, Everyday people date others “out of their league” simply because someone had the guts to say, “Hello.” Yes, while looking your best is important, it’s more about how you talk to someone and mentally psyching yourself up to make it happen. Failure and rejection are part of life just like acceptance and success, so start with a fearless mindset. Also why not, 1) Have a professional makeover to help you look better than you think you do; 2) Learn some smart/witty lines from others for striking up a conversation; and, lastly, 3) Buy ‘em a drink. And, pumpkin, very attractive people can also make bad lovers, so stay open-minded! Good luck! Listen Trinity, Sometimes my mouth doesn’t say what my brain is thinking. Recently on a date, I kept saying the wrong thing. What’s the best way to apologize? My Big Fat Mouth, Portland, ME

Listen Big Mouth, 1) Send flowers, emails and letters of apology; 2) be consistent in begging for forgiveness, and don’t debate someone when receiving their comments; 3) communicate what happened, how you’re working on getting better and how it “won’t ever happen again;” and 4) when you’re face to face, lower your head, bat your eyes, push out your lower lip and say, “I’m sorry, baby!” Works for me every time! Hello Trinity I’ve been dumped again and it’s taking its toll on me. What am I supposeD to do? Make believe I’m happy when I’m really sad? So Sad, Fire Island, NY Hello So Sad, Well, yes and no. No. When you’re sad, never avoid it. Get into it 100 percent! Also sleep and find friends to let it out with, then, as quickly as you can, snap out of it! And yes, practice making believe what it was like to be happy until eventually you feel more happy than sad. Hey, honey, if actors can “create,” fake or act a feeling, so can you. Fake it ‘til you make it! (Don’t stay in the dumps, get back out there and wow ‘em with your charm and wit. Besides, isolating only lets him win at the Game of Love. See my cartoon for how

a&e

Dearest Bachelor’s Life, If business people have to look the part to succeed, so do you with dating. It’s called dressing for success. Also success means having a list of commitments or declarations. That’s why I created: Trinity’s Concrete Declarations For Being A Good Bachelor(ette) 1. Presentation: I promise to always appear groomed, well dressed and clean. 2. Self-esteem: I promise to work on being less shy, less boring, less of a couch potato and less defensive. 3. Manners: I promise to be polite, considerate and respectful to the time, money and imperfections of other people. 4. I ntegrity: I promise to return phone calls and emails, be on time and communicate clearly if I can’t. 5. T rust: I promise to trust my path in life, to trust uncomfortable, negative or challenging situations, to trust my dreams and to trust my intuition. 6. E nvironment: I promise to keep my living space presentable even if it means hiring someone once a month to help me look less like a slob.

7. E ducation: I promise to continually work on my social skills plus the skills of cooking, cleaning, dressing, etiquette and being a better person. 8. Self-growth: I promise to work on my selfrespect, self-confidence and self-esteem. 9. Health: I promise to exercise, sleep and eat well, take time off from stress and think positive thoughts. 10. Lastly, Action: I promise at least once a week to go to a singles event or club that will help me meet other singles. info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

Dec. 15-28 . 2017

qnotes

EVENTS

Submit your event to our calendar!

December 2017-January 2018 Equity Community SEP DEC MO Discussion Little Rock A.M.E. Zion Church 401 N. McDowell St., Charlotte 10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Join the National NAACP, CharlotteMecklenburg NAACP and U2U in a community discussion on equity and equality. More information is available online. The discussion will center around how to take away the disadvantages in your life. facebook.com/events/126232074715233. –––––––––––––––––––– Black Entrepreneurship Day Charlotte Camp North End 1824 Statesville Ave., Charlotte 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Carolina Small Business Development Fund, in partnership with the Women’s Business Center of Charlotte, presents the first-ever Black Entrepreneurship Day of Charlotte. Organizers shared that it would be “a day of thought-provoking talks, panels and networking opportunities that spur innovation and promote entrepreneurship.” Both breakfast and lunch will be served, and panels will include: HBCU/Small Business, Access to Capital Charlotte and Advancing Charlotte. For more information, contact Germaine McIver-Cherry at 919-924-0189. This is a free event. More information is also available online. facebook.com/events/1511575112290324.

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Charlotte Pride Band SEP DEC MO Winter Concert Temple Beth El 5101 Providence Rd., Charlotte 3-4:30 p.m. The Charlotte Pride Band will give a free holiday concert featuring their brass and woodwind ensembles. The Temple is collecting donations for Sterling Elementary School, and audience members are asked to bring playing cards, Frisbees, bubbles, coloring books, sidewalk chalk, crayons, markers, jump ropes, or Uno games. More information is available online. charlotteprideband.org.

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‘A John Waters Christmas’ Diana Wortham Theatre 18 Biltmore Ave., Asheville 8 p.m. Join John Waters for a naughty Christmas event with the lord of filth himself. The director of such cult classics as “Pink Flamingos” and “Hairspray” will deliver his patented rapid-fire monologue exploring and exploding traditional archetypes as he shares his compulsive desire to give and receive perverted gifts, a religious fanaticism for Santa Claus and an unhealthy love of true crime holiday horror stories. dwtheatre.com.

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a threefor-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

Miss & Mr. Holiday Pageant SEP DEC MO Chasers 3217 The Plaza, Charlotte 10 p.m.-2 a.m. The Miss & Mr. Holiday Pageant will honor Victoria Grantty Chanel Iman, named Miss Holiday 2017, and Omega Stjames, Mr. Holiday 2017. The show will also feature the NC Entertainer of the Year court, with Buff Faye, Charlton Alicea and ViVi Van Dank all on hand. More information is available online. missandmisterholiday.com.

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Unity March for Charlotte Marshall Park 800 E. 3rd St., Charlotte Join Indivisible Charlotte as it partners with sister groups in the Charlotte community to peacefully assemble. Organizers shared they are assembling to resist hate, bigotry and

SEP DEC MO

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racism and spread a message of peace, unity and equality. Location might change; check for details. facebook.com/events/172039223352688.

To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

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Dec. 15-28 . 2017

Turn Back Time: Night of Cher-ity with Eureka O’Hara The Bar at 316 316 Rensselaer Ave., Charlotte 10:30 p.m.

Eureka O’Hara, who appeared on season 9 of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” will appear alongside Buff Faye and special guests Lilli Frost, Charlton Alicea and Veronica Iman Davis for a night of drag to raise funds for Campus Pride. More information is available online. bar316.com.

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SEP DEC MO

New Year’s Eve at SEP DEC MO Boulevard 1820 Boulevard 1820 1820 South Blvd., #106, Charlotte 8:30 p.m. Kick off the New Year’s Eve celebrations early with Boulevard 1820. Enjoy drag and dinner and still have time left to go to another bar, club or friend’s house. Drag queens Buff Faye, Lilli Frost and Tia Douglas will perform. More information is available online. boulevard1820.net.

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New Year’s Eve at The Bar at 316 The Bar at 316 316 Rensselaer Ave., Charlotte 11 p.m. Ring in the New Year with the folks at The Bar at 316. Drag queens Buff Faye, Lilli Frost and Tia Douglas will perform. There will be a champagne toast and ball drop at midnight. More information is available online. bar316.com.

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Continues through Jan. 28 SEP JAN MO ‘The Phantom of the Opera’ Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte One of the world’s most beloved and well known musicals, “The Phantom of the Opera,” returns to Charlotte as part of a brand new North American Tour. See why critics are praising Cameron Mackintosh’s new production of the Andrew Lloyd Webber classic. The production, overseen by Matthew Bourne and Mackintosh, features exciting special effects, and the famous score, with songs like “Music of the Night,” “All I Ask Of You,” and “Masquerade,” performed by a cast and orchestra of 52. Tickets begin at $25. More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

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life

Our People:

Q&A with Rev. Malu Fairley-Collins Board-certified chaplain, pastoral educator by Torie Dominguez :: guest contributor

o this board-certified chaplain and pastoral educator, nothing is more important than service, spirit, family — and a good book. From her birth in Cincinnati, Ohio — known to residents as the Queen City — she’s come full circle to North Carolina’s very own QC, after traveling up and down the East Coast from Manhattan to Atlanta and points between. The Rev. Malu Fairley-Collins serves as co-pastor of Wedgewood Church, where she strives to ensure that its famous rainbow doors are open to all. At the same time, she holds the post of director of spiritual care and education for Carolinas Palliative Care and Hospice Group. Here, Fairley-Collins shares with qnotes some of the causes, and the candies, closest to her heart. What are you passionate about? I am passionate about many things: equity, ethnic/racial justice, and the intersections of spirituality and sexuality are the top three. What helps you relax when you’re feeling stressed? Prayer/ mediation, music and creating something.

Are you an early bird or a night owl? Neither but more of an early bird because of my commute time and work hours. What household chore do you avoid at all costs? Taking out the trash and lawn care. What possessions do you cherish most? Pictures of my ancestors/family and my tablet since the series I’m reading is on there. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? So many things — a doctor, a lawyer, a doula, a teacher for kids with Down syndrome, the founder of new philosophical school of thought. If you could live in any time period, past or future, anywhere in the world, what would you choose? This is a hard one. As a black person, pre-colonialism and transatlantic slave trade, as a queer person and as a woman…I guess an indigenous matriarchal society in a warm climate. What do you like most about yourself? My heart/head balance.

What cheers you up when you’re feeling down? Spending silly time with my wife, reading a good book and dark chocolate (up to 70 percent).

What aspect of yourself would you like to change? Learn to for real relax and do nothing.

Who knows every one of your secrets? No one!! But my bestie Lisa J comes close.

You can read only five books for the rest of your life. Which do you choose? Not a possible choice. The Bible would be one, but I love to read too much to choose.

How do you spend your free time? What free time?!! I guess reading and spending time with my family. We’ve all heard that smell is the sense most strongly tied to memory. What scents do you find most evocative? Hmmmmm, the smell my grandmother’s house used to have in the morning just after she cooked breakfast — it’s hard to describe. It included her scent, particular cleaning products, food and her house. If you won a multi-million-dollar jackpot, what would you do with the money? Pay off the school debts and housing debts of me and my family members. Secure college and start-up monies for my son and younger people in my family. Invest monies into good non-profit social justice organizations. Buy land for self and family. Secure Wedgewood finances and fix all the structural needs of the church. Create something or partner with others to create some queer, people of color, spirit-focused spaces.

Imagine traveling somewhere incredibly remote, with no way of contacting the outside world. Are you more thrilled or petrified? Thrilled as long as I could return when I needed to. If you met yourself, do you think you’d be your friend? Yep! What have you always wanted to do, be or learn, but never gotten around to? To speak ASL and to be fluent in Spanish again, have a garden, take dance class to learn the bachata. And finally, how would you like to be remembered? As someone who shared my authentic lovelight with others in ways that offered healing spaces and helped others be empowered to bring their love-light to the world as well. : :

Dec. 15-28 . 2017

qnotes

Dec. 15-28 . 2017