QNotes, Dec. 16-29, 2016 by QnotesCarolinas

Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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Eating disorders bigger challenge for LGBT community

qnotes news & features

news. views. arts. 5 entertainment. Roberts to Run for Mayor Again 6 News Notes: Regional Briefs 7 News Notes: U.S./World Briefs 8 McCrory Concedes 17 Carolina Companies on HRC CEI

a&e / life&style 11 13 16 18 19

Holiday Events Eating Disorders Tell Trinity Q Events Calendar Dishing with Buff Faye

opinions & views 8 Civil Rights in Five Steps 15 Spiritual Reflections

Studies show disparity with straight men. page 13

more news & features

Dishing with Buff Faye

Spiritual Reflections

How to treat drag performers within the community. page 19

Getting married more quickly made sense. page 15

Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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Election 2017

Mayor Roberts running for reelection, Ford and Smith considering challenges Roberts has the strongest record on LGBTQ rights of the three by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes staff Roberts has also faced mixed reviews over the city’s handling of the aftermath of the Keith Lamont Scott police shooting, which she has said should have been handled with more transparency. She also called for the repeal of House Bill 972 in the wake of the shooting. HB 972 took effect Oct. 1 and requires a court order to obtain law enforcement dashboard and body camera footage. Ford backed the bill. He also went after Roberts for her handling of the situation, reiterating in that same WSOC-TV interview what North Carolina State Sen. he said at the time, which was that she Joel Ford showed “a failure of leadership to attack the police chief.” Smith, along with the rest of Charlotte City Council, minus Mayor Roberts, authored a letter of support for CharlotteMecklenburg police Chief Kerr Putney. Ford was also one of only two Democrats to vote in favor of Senate Bill 2 in February 2015, a bill allowing magistrates and other government officials to opt out of issuing a marriage license if doing so would violate “any sincerely held religious belief.” The bill passed, was vetoed by McCrory and then passed again in an Mayor Jennifer Roberts has announced her re-election bid for office. Photo Credit: DIedra Laird, Charlotte Observer Charlotte City Councilmember override of the veto. SB2 is currently under legal challenge, with plaintiffs Kenny Smith filing an appeal to the 4th Circuit Court of CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Charlotte Mayor order to cut a deal over Appeals after a federal judge ruled that there is Jennifer Roberts announced on Dec. 1 that House Bill 2. no standing to challenge. she will run for reelection in 2017 in an email to This unwillingness to abandon the LGBTQ Ford defended his support of SB2 to qnotes supporters. community has earned her support from many at the time by calling it a vote for “individual Already potential opponents are lining up, while also bringing criticism from those hoping freedom.” with Democrat Sen. Joel Ford and Republican a compromise might put an end to the boycotts “I supported this bill because it respects Councilmember Kenny Smith both publicly statthat have cost the state millions of dollars and an individual’s personal religious beliefs and ing that they might challenge her for the seat. hundreds of jobs. it also protects same-sex couples’ right to “We need to demonstrate the Charlotte can“I wouldn’t describe it as a compromise, I marry,” he added. do spirit at City Hall as a leadership model for our would describe it as a reset,” Ford told Raleigh’s Ford says he will spend the next two community and other representatives to see how News & Observer in September, speaking in months talking with Charlotte residents while we achieve success in Charlotte by confronting favor of a deal. “We need to stop the economic deciding if he wants to run. our challenges with grit and by working together hardship and the negative impact that is happenSmith says he is discussing the decision selflessly,” Ford, a three-time state senator and ing in our state and this is a good first step.” with his wife, friends and advisors. former chairman of the Mecklenburg County Ford told a reporter from WSOC-TV earlier Roy Cooper, who ran in opposition to HB2, will Democratic Party, said in a statement. this month that as mayor he would work with take over as the state’s governor and has pledged “It’s important that you represent all the Raleigh on issues like the non-discrimination to repeal the law. That will be an uphill battle, as citizens of Charlotte not just certain groups,” ordinance. he will face a GOP controlled General Assembly, Smith told WSOC-TV, declaring his interest in “I think a lack of listening and a lack of which amid continuing boycotts, could make talk possibly running. collaboration with state leaders is part of the of a compromise once again appear attractive. Roberts supported the expanded Charlotte problem,” he said. The most likely compromise would be losing non-discrimination ordinance, providing After attempts at a compromise fell through, the transgender accommodations protections protections for the LGBTQ community, which both McCrory and House Speaker Tim Moore portion of the non-discrimination ordinance. passed in a 7-4 vote in February. Roberts, have both admitted that a full repeal of HB2 would Whether or not Charlotte’s mayor, be it along with the majority of her colleagues in not have happened even if Charlotte had blinked. Roberts or otherwise, is willing to stand for the the city council, refused to budge when the Smith also pushed for a compromise, after rights of the entire LGBTQ community is likely North Carolina General Assembly and Gov. Pat voting against expanding the non-discrimito have a major impact on how the ongoing McCrory tried to pressure the city to rescind its nation ordinance to include protections for battle over HB2 shakes out going forward. : : already nullified nondiscrimination ordinance in LGBTQ people.

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qnotes is your source for the progressive and LGBT politics news and commentary in Charlotte and the Carolinas. Read us online at goqnotes.com.

qnotes connect Dec. 16-29, 2016 Vol 31 No 17

arts. entertainment. news. views. goqnotes.com twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas

contributors this issue

Buff Faye, Maria Dominguez, Jason Leclerc, Rabbi Joshua Lesser, Lainey Millen, Jeff Taylor, Trinity

front page

Graphic Design by Lainey Millen Photography: Holiday at the Gardens

(Daniel Stowe) by Brandon Dierker via charlottesgotalot.com Mission:

The focus of QNotes is to serve the LGBT and straight ally communities of the Charlotte region, North Carolina and beyond, by featuring arts, entertainment, news and views content in print and online that directly enlightens, informs and engages the readers about LGBT life and social justice issues. Pride Publishing & Typesetting, Inc., dba QNotes P.O. Box 221841, Charlotte, NC 28222 ph 704.531.9988 fx 704.531.1361 Publisher: Jim Yarbrough Sales: x201 adsales@goqnotes.com Nat’l Sales: Rivendell Media, ph 212.242.6863 Managing Editor: Jim Yarbrough, editor@goqnotes.com Assoc. Editor: Lainey Millen, specialassignments@goqnotes.com Social Media Editor: Jeff Taylor, jeff@goqnotes.com Production: Lainey Millen, x205 production@goqnotes.com Printed on recycled paper.

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Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Impact of HB2 on elections shown RALEIGH, N.C. — The High Point Enterprise reported that if voting from four years ago (when the state’s voters rejected same-sex marriage) and this year’s gubernatorial race (where Gov. Pat McCrory lost to Attorney General Roy Cooper) was analyzed, one might wonder if this was the same state. Over the last four years, the tide has shifted. The U.S. Supreme Court ruled in Obergefell vs. Hodges that same-sex marriage was a fundamental right guaranteed by both the Due Process Clause and the Equal Protection Clause of the 14th Amendment. This year’s elections saw a pro-LGBTQ presidential candidate, Hillary Clinton, win the popular vote, but failed to win the Electoral College numbers. The college will meet on Dec. 19 to cast their vote. Online petitions have been numerous to plead with electors to vote their conscious and not go with what their state’s count outlines. Now, as the state prepares for a Democratic governor, organizations like Equality North Carolina (ENC) and the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) are stepping up their efforts to combat bias, prejudice and hate. Equality North Carolina says that it will never stop fighting for equality. To date, McCrory is the only incumbent governor to lose on Outgoing Gov. Pat McCrory (left) and incoming govElection Day despite the outcome of the ernor Attorney General Roy Cooper. Cooper hopes to presidential race. restore the state’s reputation and protections with Polling by Greenberg Quinlan the repeal of HB2. Rosner Research showed that the majority of the electorate has in no way backed down from supporting LGBTQ equality. The two activist organizations surveyed 500 state voters and found that they opposed HB2 by a margin of 62 to 30 percent. “This research is proof that when it comes to LGBTQ equality, hearts and minds remain forever changed and on our side. Nowhere is that more clear than in North Carolina, where voters soundly rejected Pat McCrory and sent a clear signal that anti-LGBTQ politicking is now a liability to candidates, no matter their party,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. He added, “Barely 10 years ago, Republicans — and some Democrats — running for governor were campaigning their support for state bans on marriage equality. But today, as McCrory has proven to the nation, promoting anti-LGBTQ discrimination will cost you an election. There is no doubt that Americans have moved inexorably in the direction of equality and have no appetite for hatred from their elected officials.” “This polling data shows what we have seen and heard in our communities all over the state — HB2 is bad for North Carolina,” said ENC Executive Director Chris Sgro. “Pat McCrory refused to listen to the people of North Carolina and as a result, the people stood up and ousted him from office. That means that a champion of equality will replace one of the worst anti-LGBTQ politicians as the highest officeholder in our state. North Carolinians deserve a governor that represents their values. There is much to be done in order to support Roy Cooper’s efforts to repeal HB2 and create statewide non-discrimination protections. We are looking forward to working with Governor-elect Roy Cooper to repeal the vile HB2 and restore North Carolina’s reputation.” info: equalitync.org. hpenterprise.com.

Charlotte MLK JR parade set

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The CharlotteMecklenburg Community Relations Committee has opened registration for the 2017 Carolinas HealthCare System Martin Luther King, Jr. Parade. Registration forms can be found online. The parade will be held in Uptown Charlotte on Jan. 14, 2017. The event is the largest of its kind to honor the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in the Southeast. More than 100 community organizations, including marching bands, step teams and drill teams, are expected to participate. More information on the registration process and fees is available online. info: charlottenc.gov/MLK.

Gala tickets on sale

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — The Human Rights Campaign North Carolina Gala, “Going Beyond: Equality Forward Together,” will be held on Feb. 4 at Le Meridian Charlotte, 555 S. McDowell St, which will serve as the host hotel.

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Dec. 16-29 . 2016

This year’s event focuses on hard-won battles, while reflecting on the outcome of the recent presidential election. “This year we have fought hard for equality in North Carolina and across the country. While we will celebrate the election of many pro-equality candidates in our state, other election results show that now, more than ever, we must join forces to move equality forward together,” organizers stated. “The Gala will also serve as a tool to further mobilize our members and communities in the Carolina’s to fight for equality,” they added. Attendees will be able to bid on silent auction items during the reception at 5 p.m. The dinner and awards will follow. Awards will be presented during the evening for Person of the Year and Organization of the Year. Table captains are being sought. Gather friends and associates to champion the cause. While purchasing tickets, sign up or email Lee Robertson and Sharman West at tablecaptains@ hrccarolina.org for more information. For those who wish to become sponsors of the event, like those who stood up to hate and

called for the repeal of HB2, email sponsor@ hrccarolina.org. And, showcase your products or services through the silent auction. Send an email to silentauction@hrccarolina.org for more information. Lastly, advertise your LGBTQ-friendly business, church or social group in the Gala program book. Or announce upcoming nuptials, engagements and send congratulatory messages. Email ad@hrccarolina.org for ad sales information. Tickets are $195/early bird through Jan. 7. Students, active duty military and seniors with valid ID can make a purchase at $125. Carolina Federal Club member tickets are $125 and premium are $300. Major Carolinas donors receive tickets as part of their package. info: hrccarolina.org.

TOY nets grant

CHARLOTTE, N.C.— Time Out Youth Center, 2320 N. Davidson St., has received a grant for $25,000 from CenterLink and The Johnson Family Foundation to increase the variety and quality of mental health services they provide. “CenterLink is excited to continue our work with The Johnson Family Foundation through this innovative program. We look forward to working with each center as they become model programs in the delivery of mental health services,” said CEO Terry Stone. The grants were awarded to support specific capacity building projects of existing mental health programs. The program has awarded a total of $1.35 million to 22 LGBT centers since its inception in 2011. “We are thrilled to continue our partnership with CenterLink to help build the capacity of centers to deliver much needed services to LGBT communities,” said Andrew Lane, Johnson Family Foundation executive director. info: lgbtcenters.org. jffnd.org.

Triad Groups hosts holiday get together

GREENSBORO, N.C. — Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Greensboro will hold its covered dish holiday party on Dec. 20, 6:30 p.m., at College Park Baptist Church, 1601 Walker Ave. Enjoy food and fellowship. Ham, turkey will be provided. Attendees are encouraged to bring a side dish to share (along with a service utensil). All are welcome. info: pflaggreensboro.org.

Save the date

GREENSBORO, N.C. — The Guilford Green Foundation’s 2nd Annual Red Party will be held on Jan. 14, 7 p.m., at a location to be announced at a later time. qnotes will provide updated information as it is made available. info: ggfnc.org.

Triangle Guys get social

RALEIGH, N.C. — The Gay Men’s Social Club will hold their Christmas Balls Party on Dec. 17, 7:30 p.m., at the bar area at Aloft Hotel, 100 Hillsborough St. Participants are encouraged to bring photographs of favorite Christmas balls. Enjoy drinks while relaxing and having fun. To join in, register with the group online and provide an RSVP. info: meetup.com/Trianglegayguys.

Team dons rainbows

DURHAM, N.C.— On Dec. 3, the basketball players from the University of Maine showed their support of the LGBTQ community by hitting the court with rainbow colored warm-up shirts. Their opponent was Duke University. The shirts were worn as an HB2 protest. Bleacher Report said that Maine’s Black Bears head coach Bob Walsh told 99.9 The Fan’s Lauren Brownlow, “It was about promoting inclusion and promoting equality and our guys understanding that they can make an impact.” CBS Sports’ Matt Norlander said that the use of the America East logo on the shirt was likely a deliberate choice from the Maine team, saying “You’ll notice the America East logo there. That’s because Maine’s conference has a partnership with You Can Play, which specializes in social activism and aims to eliminate homophobia, transphobia and seeks inclusion for all people in all sports. The partnership has existed for years, but Saturday’s game was the latest chance and perhaps most high-profile gesture, in the history collaboration between You Can Play and the America East.” Maine’s forward Marko Pirovic spoke to Norlander and shared the teams’ decision. “Just seeing how much inequality there is in some LGBT communities such as in North Carolina with the new law that was passed was very shocking, and I’m glad we can do something to stand up against it. Being part of You Can Play to me means standing up and being an ally to help change the culture of how the LGBT community is treated and showing them the support they have from athletes everywhere.” info: bleacherreport.com.

Center receives award

RALEIGH, N.C. — The LGBT Center of Raleigh was one of ten Triangle recipients of the GSK Impact Award. GlaxoSmithKline, in partnership with the Triangle Community Foundation awarded $40,000 to the center. Jack Bailey, the company’s president, shared, “This program shines a light on outstanding non-profits in our local communities that build the foundation for healthy lives. The winners are delivering innovative solutions to real health challenges faced by our neighbors across the Triangle region, and we are proud to support their inspiring work.” The GSK IMPACT Awards are one of several programs GSK offers as part of a commitment to building healthier communities across the U.S. The winners were selected by a panel of local and national community leaders through a competitive process. The non-profits needed to demonstrate innovative and sustainable approaches to addressing at least one of the following health factors and measures: diet and exercise; education; housing and transit; employment; family and social support; and community safety. In other news, SAGE Raleigh will hold its annual holiday potluck on Dec. 17, 1 p.m., at the LGBT Center of Raleigh, 324 S. Harrington St. Bring sides, salad or dessert to complement a supplied main meet dish with condiments. Beverages, including soft drinks and wine will be provided. Door prizes will be given away.

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Also, the senior’s group is taking in an afternoon at Theatre in the Park, 107 Pullen Rd., for “The Santaland Diaries.” Also, the center will host an open house for the holidays on Dec. 25, 6 p.m. Join other community members in an inviting and relaxed atmosphere. info: lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

Sex change protocols changed

RALEIGH, N.C. — Beginning in 2017, North Carolina government teachers, retirees, employees and their families who wish to initiate sex change surgeries and hormone therapy will be able to do so with health insurance coverage for these included, The Robesonian reported. Earlier this month the state’s health plan trustee board voted to cover treatments when considered medically necessary, thus removing prior exclusions. The state treasurer’s office oversees the plan. Raleigh’s The News & Observer reported that the “plan risked losing millions of dollars if it did not comply with new federal regulations and offer the treatments.” Additionally, the plan could face non-compliance discrimination lawsuits, the department’s Brad Young shared. Equality North Carolina’s Matt Hirschy said, “We are pleased to see the plan be updated to match major employers and other governments around the country in providing critical care for trans-employees.” The plan’s board learned at its Dec. 2 meeting about gender dysphoria. State Treasurer Janet Cowell broke the tie during a procedural vote, The News & Observer reported. The Robesonian shared that cost for the additional coverage will cost North Carolina from $350,000 to $850,000 on an annual basis. Currently, there are eight to 24 members who use these benefits out of 700,000.

The newly elected Republican state treasurer, Dale Folwell, has indicated that he will conduct an investigation on the 2017 benefits’ “financial and legal implications of the decision.” info: robesonian.com. newsobserver.com.

Western Swing into the holidays

ASHEVILLE, N.C.— A holiday swing show will be held on Dec. 30, 7 p.m., at Tressa’s Downtown Jazz and Blues, 28 Broadway St. The Asheville Lesbian Social Club is gathering its members to attend the musical evening which features Company Swing with veterans Anne Coombs, Gail Wilson, Robin Borthwick and Cary Fridley. Attendees can enjoy the best of swing, jazz and Latin with a pinch of Cajun thrown in. Cover charge is $3 at the door. To join the social club for the swing show, become a member by visiting their MeetUp page. info: meetup.com/Asheville-Social-Club.

Mountain town is tops

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Associated Press has reported that travel guidebook publisher Lonely Planet has chosen Asheville as its “top U.S. destination for 2017,” despite HB2 which led to boycotts of the state by companies, entertainers and others. The guide gave the town the top spot because it “‘has always been an open, welcoming place, and continues to be after the legislation,’ Lonely Planet magazine managing editor Rebecca Warren said.” Lonely Planet shared that they do not condone the “political exclusion of others,” but Asheville “thrives on diversity and tolerance.” The mountain town has a plethora of options for enjoyment, like the Blue Ridge

Mountains, artsy Regional neighborhoods, laid back lifestyle, water Conductor contributes fee sports and more. Over to ENC the years, it has beLONDON, UK — Conductor come a trendy place to Joshua Weilerstein performed with live as well, as noted by the North Carolina Symphony in one lesbian organizaOctober and has now chosen to gift tion sporting over 1,000 his fee to Equality North Carolina. His members in the recent decision was made on his own and past. not influenced by anyone. Equality North He did this to honor “one of Carolina Executive the most effective LGBT rights Director and state organizations in North Carolina,” he General Assembly said in a letter published on Slipped member Christopher Disc. He shared that he was Sgro told the AP that “appalled” by the North Carolina Asheville residents and General Assembly’s passage of leaders “are welcomJoshua Weilerstein via Facebook. HB2. And, he wanted to make a ing and try to create a statement regarding LGBT equality, progressive community, so I understand why be it in North Carolina or across the U.S. Lonely Planet would want others to enjoy the “To perform with a symphonic orchestra city.” requires a profound sense of inclusion in info: lonelyplanet.com. order to listen, respond, and communicate together. If one person in that musical comSouth Carolina munity is left out, the whole ensemble can crumble. The stakes are of course much SCE set to fight higher for the LGBT community, and their COLUMBIA, S.C. — SC Equality has stated fight for inclusion and acceptance continues that they are not retreating from fighting for to this day. In the aftermath of the electoral equality for its state’s LGBTQ residents. It said, season, I believe it is even more important to “We will not stand down. We will fight. Harder. reaffirm our support for all minority communiStronger!” ties,” he added. The organization is currently seeking coninfo: slippedisc.com. tributions to enable it to do the work of combating against oppressive legislation, increasing accountability and battling “fiercely” for those who cannot battle for themselves. Have news or other information? Send your Visit SC Equality’s website to make a press releases and updates for inclusion in our donation. News Notes: editor@goqnotes.com. info: scequality.org.

news notes: u.s./world

QUICK HITS

compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau of Canada issues a sweeping statement of support on Human Rights Day. info: pm.gc.ca.

Christian group hires new operations director COLUMBUS, Ohio — Constantino Khalaf has been hired as the Gay Christian Network’s (GCN) new director of operations. Khalaf will oversee internal operations, staff, volunteers and key programs. His addition will allow the organization’s founder, Justin Lee, the opportunity to focus on specific projects and Constantino Khalaf initiatives such as direct conversations with influential Christian leaders, training allies to make the maximum impact on their communities and more. A previous Brian Eckstein Faithful Service Award recipient, Khalaf is also the co-author of the “Modern Kinship” blog. In other news, the organization has launched its new online community which is comprised of four key elements: supporting the most vulnerable members of the LGBTQ Christian community; creating spaces for those who can’t be public about their identities; harnessing the power of volunteers; and connecting people around the world for the purpose of advocacy. GCN has also been making an impact in Australia and New Zealand where Lee has been visiting. He was a speaker at the LGBT Christian Awaken Conference and traveled

to meet with local leaders and to share his message with church members. Prior to his departure, he was able to meet with a group of pastors who were working to make their churches more welcoming. It has now resulted in the formation of a regular group. The organization has also been working behind the scenes with InterVarsity to help it change its anti-LGBTQ policies. InterVarsity made the decision to adopt a new theological position paper with anti-LGBT language and to fire all staff who do not agree with the stance. In contrast, GCN has been asked to provide resources to another large Christian organization so it can better serve the LGBTQ community. GCN will hold its annual conference on Jan. 5-8, 2017 in Pittsburg, Penn. The theme for this year’s event is “Stories Inspire.” Registration is still open. Visit gcnconf.com to learn more. The organization began in North Carolina and was headquartered in Raleigh, N.C. info: gaychristian.net.

news

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LGBTQ activists from Iraq, Lebanon, South Africa, Sri Lanka, St. Lucia, Sweden, Thailand, and the U.S. gathered at the office of OutRight Action International, formerly the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission, in New York, N.Y., to discuss the impact of the incoming Trump Administration and urge the president-elect and his administration to maintain U.S. commitment to protecting the human rights of LGBTQ people globally. info: outrightinternational.org. African Americans, women, and LGBTQ individuals — those more likely to experience social discrimination in their lifetime — are less likely to participate in the stock market and also allocate less of their wealth to equities, says new research from the University of Miami School of Business Administration. info: bus.miame.edu. ssrn.com. Through the AIDS United Positive Organizing Project, with funding from Gilead Sciences, the concept of meaningful engagement of people living with HIV/AIDS is being revitalized. Through the initiative, 17 community-based organizations throughout the country will tackle HIV-related stigma and discrimination in their communities by advancing grassroots organizing among people living with HIV. Two Carolinas organizations are

among those listed and are Palmetto AIDS Life Support Services and Positive Women’s Network. info: aidsunited.org. The National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE) published a report on the 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey, which is a follow-up to the 2011 groundbreaking National Transgender Discrimination Survey report published by the National LGBTQ Task Force and NCTE. The report was compiled from data collected from 27,715 transgender people in the U.S., the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, American Samoa, Guam, and U.S. military bases overseas. It showed disparities between transgender individuals and the general population. info: thetaskforce.org. ustranssurvey.org/report. The National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce held a record-breaking dinner last month in the nation’s capital. info: nglcc.org. REVRY, a digital streaming service dedicated to providing diverse, authentic content to the LGBTQ and allied communities, announced a partnership with Queerty, an LGBTQ digital news and content site. info: revry.tv. The American Sociological Association has issued a study entitled “Bisexual Men and Women Face Pay Gap.” info: asanet.org.

Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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Opinion: Civil Rights

Five steps in the march to civil rights Looking back at history and forward to the future by Jason Leclerc :: guest contributor

hether patriots disguised as “Indians” or heirs of Attucks at a Woolworth’s lunch counter or drag goddesses marching down Fifth Avenue, the power of disruption has been the overwhelming tool of the otherwise oppressed in their respective marches toward equity in the American Dream. In many ways, a dream — a la Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. — has been the cadence along a similar set of civil steps. Doubtless, the most visible such march has been that of colors into America’s otherwise whiteness. But, let’s not forget that the first to protest oppression in America were the continent’s original inhabitants. Atop the victory of white colonists over “Indians,” the colonials then cried out for their own rights. Made whole in the 20th century along arguments for full equality, civil rights for people of color have become the marquee symbol of America’s failure to reach its promise of full, equal participation. Never mind that the culture of color has influenced the wider “popular” culture through humor, music and fashion; some might argue that influence has become definition. Nonetheless, short of the outliers who have, against overwhelming social obstacles, achieved economic parity, there still exist barriers that make every achievement even more remarkable. The recent obsession with which “lives matter” has disrupted American political discourse, if not city streets and other cultural moments. Nary a rally nor awards show — or even the once sacred NFL pregame exposition — is immune from the injection of the relativist statement regarding the life-colors that warrant attention. We didn’t arrive here, in the throes of this argument, accidentally. Clearly, the rhetorical tool — “what matters” — is new, but the sentiments are rooted in centuries of American history. The United States is, if nothing else, a series of marches toward civil rights — toward freedom. Whether punctuated by bugle calls and bayonets or highlighted by occupations and sit-ins, the cadence of milestones is generally similar: Visibility: In a nation of 300 million, “I” deserve to stand out. “I” am an individual with my own strengths and weaknesses. If “I” join with others like me to bring attention to certain traits that we share, and for which we may otherwise be discriminated against, we assert our humanity against a set of institutions which may not naturally include us. For some groups, like those defined by gender or race, visibility is easily achieved, indeed it is often the basest reason for discrimination in the first place. For others, along sexuality or ideological lines, the assertions are less passive. Think about Pride parades and spiritual rallies.

Photo Credit: Charlie Rosenberg via Adobe Stock

Acceptance: Merely the second step on the road to full rights, the now-visible group is granted acceptance among the greater populous. The power gradients between the objectified group — those who’ve gained “acceptance” — and the grantersof-acceptance remain. It implies that there is still something unequal, but for which outright and institutional discrimination is no longer tenable. Often this is hurried along as the ancillary traits that cling to the initial source of discrimination become condiments to cover up the “less palatable” traits. Think about how wrapping the rhetoric of black power in “Christian” terms or making gay rights about “love” have advanced those specific causes. Integration: Creating space within the institutional hierarchy is the next step on the march to full rights. In many ways, this has become the standard that most societies have used as the achievement. By “desegregating,” Americans stuck feathers in their collective cap by busing black children to white schools and by giving women the right to vote and by giving LGBT the ability to serve in the Armed Forces. Viewing history in the lens of the present, the question of why these are achievements, underlies the absurdity in the historical institutional failures of basic human decency. Equality: In America, this is the yet-unfulfilled promise of our Constitutional experiment. Overcoming the institutional, economic and cultural barriers that continue to delineate a pro-forma (defacto) segregation between neighborhoods, opportunities and access to power is the front line of many of the greatest fights today. Beyond acceptance and integration, equality (implicitly,

of opportunity) highlights the reality that the power of (black) words is still not equally accessible by every individual in society. Power has been concentrated within institutions that, by their nature, tend to denude the power of the individual. The challenge of America’s next evolution is captured in the great duality between the integrated whole’s ability to do the “most good on average” which we pair against the achievements of individuals who’ve voluntarily (or by genetics) collected into groups. Still, education stands as the grand totem to inequality. Until every child in America can achieve the same quality education — a full investment in the power of words — equality remains a chimera. Equity: Among that small swath of those Americans who, by the birthright of their gender, color, and sexuality, are equal-from-the-start (or those who’ve achieved equality in earlier marches), there is a fight for a more “fair” distribution of scarce resources. Thus, we see increasing arguments about how incomes are distributed, about wealth and taxation. Not baked into any constitutional promise, but omnipresent in the emerging cultural rhetoric, is the assertion that all Americans “deserve” something more than mere equality in opportunity. Equity addresses the equality of outcome. The failure of current political discourse is that discussions about equity still ignore those groups and individuals for whom equality has still not been achieved. Thus, arguments among those in power regarding the spoils of equality have distracted us from the fact that we still lack full participation by many groups and individuals. When individuals still linger in their fights for visibility and acceptance, scheming for the redistribution of resources among the already-equal is, in itself, an unfair use of resources which should be directed toward full equality. A fair argument can be made that with full equality, equity will naturally follow. Let’s not entrap ourselves within literal bindings. Black, in 2016, means rainbow. Black means Gray. Black means red, white, and blue. We are all black inside. Black lives matter. Blue lives matter, and pink lives, and rainbow lives. Thus, it’s true: Black lives matter. : : — Jason Leclerc is an internationally renowned poet (PoetEconomist.Blogspot.com), blogger (SemioticArbitrage. blogspot.com), filmmaker (FLAG, 2018) and political columnist (Watermark Magazine). As concerned with form as he is with quality storytelling, the author of Momentitiousness brings his socioeconomic theories to bear each day through trade. Learn more about Leclerc and his new book Black Kettle on momentitiousness.com/black-kettle.

HB2 Update

McCrory concedes; what’s next for HB2? Governor-elect vows to repeal while incumbent meets with Trump by Maria Dominguez :: qnotes contributor RALEIGH, N.C.—After a month of hotly contested election results and recounts, incumbent Gov. Pat McCrory has conceded that he lost re-election to opponent Roy Cooper, N.C.’s attorney general and now governor-elect. The media has long debated the reason for McCrory’s disadvantage this election season, but a new poll indicates that his anti-LGBTQ platform was the key issue that lost him the race. The Human Rights Campaign and Equality NC conducted a survey of 500 voters in North Carolina on Election Day. Fifty-seven percent of those surveyed cited HB2 as the primary reason to vote against Gov. McCrory — 17 points more than any other issue. “Voters ousted Governor McCrory for his relentless attacks on LGBT Americans,” Victory Institue President and CEO Aisha C. Moodie-Mills said in a statement. “Today, as McCrory has proven to the nation, promoting anti-LGBTQ discrimination will cost you an election,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “There is no doubt that Americans have

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Dec. 16-29 . 2016

moved inexorably in the direction of equality and have no appetite for hatred from their elected officials.” The new governor-elect Roy Cooper made HB2 a central issue of his campaign, and expectations hold that he will work towards a repeal of the controversial law. In a victory speech made on Dec. 6 to supporters at the McKimmon Center for Extension and Continuing Education at North Carolina State University, Cooper reaffirmed this intention. “With this election, North Carolina is on its way to repairing its reputation,” Cooper said. “Let’s finish the job and repeal HB2.” This task may be easier said than done, with Republicans now holding a supermajority in the General Assembly. “[The governor] does not have the power to override the legislative process,” law professor Shannon Gilreath told “ABC News.” The Wake Forest professor says that a repeal would require Cooper to “put enough pressure on the legislature,” perhaps “by talking about how much HB2 has cost the state.”

If the election is any indication, this tactic just might work. Exit polls on Election Day revealed 66 percent of voters opposed HB2. Though activists in the state celebrate the gubernatorial victory for LGBTQ rights, some raise concerns about McCrory’s next move. The incumbent governor reportedly met with president-elect Donald Trump, raising rumors that a cabinet post awaits McCrory. “It is unconscionable for the president-elect to now consider [McCrory] for a cabinet appointment,” Moodie-Mills’ statement read. “Appointing this man — who damaged his state’s economy and reputation to defend discrimination — is contrary to Donald Trump’s claim he wants to represent all Americans.” With post-election tensions high, LGBTQ Americans and allies don’t have to wait and see what comes. Advocacy and activism are more important now than ever. GLAAD, a worldwide association of LGBTQ media advocacy, has launched the Trump Accountability Project to “shine a spotlight of truth” on the actions and appointments of the president-elect. : :

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Presenting Charlotte’s Newest Yellow Fever Certified Travel Health and Immunization Center Ballantyne Family Medicine and Rx Clinic Pharmacy are pleased to announce the opening of our travel health and travel immunization services. Traveling to another country? Talk to our travel health specialist. Our providers and pharmacists have been trained to offer education and vaccinations that protect you and that will guide you through a safe healthy trip.Our travel health and immunization center offers both travel-related and routine immunizations. We offer a comprehensive line of vaccines and medications for the prevention of malaria, high altitude sickness, and treatment of traveler’s diarrhea. We are also a certified site for the administration of the Yellow Fever vaccine through the North Carolina Department of Public Health. Travel health services at Ballantyne Family Medicine provides more than vaccines. Our patients receive reliable travel health advice based on specific destinations and healthcare needs. Our travel health specialists have special training to provide education and counseling based on recommendations from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the World Health Organization (WHO), and the

Department of State. There is a one-time consultation fee for a comprehensive assessment of your travel health needs based upon your specific destination, activities, purpose for travel, and medical history. This usually takes about 20-30 mins. The only additional cost to you is the cost of the medications or vaccines. We attempt to run all vaccines and medications through your insurance. All insurance is accepted. Our services include a travel report document regarding your destination, one-on-one travel health advice and counseling about your medications, and immunizations by a Travel Health Pharmacist. For some diseases, there are no treatments or medications. We will provide tips and advice on how to avoid becoming sick with those illnesses as well. Be sure you contact us regarding your trip at least six weeks before the date you leave the country. Many of the vaccines and medications have specific timing and scheduling requirements to make sure that you’re

protected before your trip, so book your appointment early. Our onsite pharmacy features a travel health section for over-the-counter products like sun screen, bug repellent, and motion sickness medications. Ballantyne Family Medicine and our collaborative partners are excited to offer travel health services to the community in an effort to reduce the risk of transmittable and preventable disease. The next time you’re traveling overseas or if you’re considering a mission trip or volunteer work abroad, we have your travel health needs covered. Again, timing is vitally important to ensure that your immunity is active before you reach your destination. Be sure to contact our clinic to book your appointment with our travel health specialist at least six weeks before you leave. We are pleased to offer another new service to help keep our travelers and communities at home safe from the spread of preventable disease. Do your part and get educated and protected.

Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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life

Holidays 2016

Holiday cheer blankets the Carolinas Events provide options for celebrating the season by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

t’s that time of the year! Decorations have gone up everywhere for those celebrating Christmas, plans are being made for making latkes for Chanukah and festivities are slated for Kwanzaa. To help fill our readers’ date books, we assembled a plethora of options to satisfy even the most discerning palette. So, sit back and start planning… Community Dec. 22 Tree Trimming & Dirty Santa 7 p.m. Deck the halls and bring an unusual gift to swap with other attendees. North Star LGBTQ Community Center 930 Burke St., Winston-Salem, N.C. northstarlgbtcc.com.

Dec. 25 Winter Holiday Open House 12-5 p.m. Everyone welcome to enjoy community with “family.” Donations of homemade sweets and family favorites are highly encouraged to create a feeling of home, and can be dropped off at the center all week long prior to the event. A light meal will be served throughout the afterIllustration Credit: noon for people who want Tatsiana Tsyhanova to drop by to celebrate with via Adobe Stock friends, to stop in between other festivities for a bit of respite, and to simply know that all are welcome here. This event is hosted by the center’s Affirming Faith Forum through Rainbow Community Cares. LGBT Center of Raleigh 324 S. Harrington St., Raleigh, N.C. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. Chanukah Fun Dec. 24 Lake Norman Jewish Community Christmas Eve Dinner 5 p.m. Fulfill the Jewish custom of eating Chinese food on Christmas Eve. Sabi Asian Bistro 130 Harbour Place Dr., Suite 120, Davidson, N.C. templekoltikvah.org. Dec. 24 Chanukah Party & Menorah Lighting 5 p.m. Gather for menorah lighting and latkes, games and more. Havurat Tikvah Strawberry Hill Clubhouse 5010 Strawberry Hill Dr., Charlotte, N.C. RSVP by Dec. 18 to info@havurattikvah.org havurattikvah.org.

Dec. 24 Chinese Food and a Movie 5:15 p.m. Enjoy Chinese food, pizza and a movie, “The Producers.” Bring along menorahs and candles to light. Movie snacks and popcorn provided, as well as traditional jelly donuts. Register by Dec. 21 at tfaforms.com/450423. Temple Beth El 5101 Providence Rd., Charlotte, N.C. templebethel.org. Dec. 28 Community Wide Chanukah Event 4 p.m. Live music, latke bar and menorah lighting. RSVP by Dec. 16 to jessie.cohen@charlotte jcc.org. Charlotte Jewish Community Center 5007 Providence Rd., Charlotte, N.C. jewishcharlotte.org. Dec. 29 Hanukkah, Hoops, and Hornets 3rd Annual Jewish Community Night 6:15 p.m. Bring your family menorah and candles and enjoy a Chinese-inspired dinner, a DJ, dancing and dessert. $18/ person. Registration online by Dec. 16 at bit.ly/2hAdfVq. Temple Israel 4901 Providence Rd., Charlotte, N.C. templeisraelnc.org. Attractions Dec. 16-31 Holidays at the Reynolda Times vary. See website for details. Take a step back in time to an early 20thcentury holiday season at Reynolda. The historic 1917 home of R.J. and Katharine Reynolds is decorated with magnolia leaves, nandina berries, and other greenery inspired by the decorations that Katharine Reynolds used for the holidays. Holiday greeting cards from the Museum Archives will be on display and carols will be played on the original Aeolian organ every day at approximately 2:45 p.m. A Christmas Memory, Dec. 18, 4 p.m. Reynolda House Tours: A 1917 Christmas, Dec. 20, 2-3:30 p.m. Holiday Pops with Carolina Brass, Dec. 20, 7 p.m. Tickets available online or at the door. Reynolda House 2250 Reynolda Rd., Winston-Salem, N.C. reynoldahouse.org. Dec. 16-24 Charlotte Christmas Village German-inspired tradition of Christmas markets. Vendors on hand selling handmade crafts, gifts and specialty foods from wooden huts. Strudels, bratwurst, German beer and mulled wine. Romare Bearden Park 300 S. Church St., Charlotte, N.C. cltchristmasvillage.com.

see Holiday on 14 Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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Walking the Good Road Together by Dale J. Pierce, President and CEO of Different Roads Home

So this is Christmas? So this is Christmas? What does that mean to you? To me it means memories. Memories of delicious aromas coming from Mom’s kitchen, decorating the tree as a family, visiting Santa at the mall and telling him my wildest wishes, sledding in the snow in an Upstate New York winter, and praying for a snow day off from school. It means remembering going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house where the whole family would gather, sing Christmas carols, open presents, and reminisce on what the year has brought to us all. It was the town’s Christmas parade, the shop windows in my small hometown all decorated, and the lights on all the houses we used to drive around and see. It means hot chocolate with those little bitty marshmallows and sugar cookies baked with love. Maybe Christmas is more of a feeling then and not a season. A magical time where all our cares seem to melt away as the New Year gets ready to echo in new beginnings and fresh starts. It is a special time when the hope and faith of so many weave a patchwork quilt of kindness and acceptance over the world. What bothers me, I guess, is why does the feeling only last one night a year? I am reminded of a favorite song of mine by the same title by Barbara Mandrell and

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Dec. 16-29 . 2016

thought I would use this opportunity to share the words of that message with you here. “Once again the windows shine with pretty lights, once again our loved ones gather at our sides. Busy crowds of strangers greet each other with a smile, there’s Christmas in the eyes of every child. Once again the presents are resting by the tree, once again we worship the one who came for you and me. I hear choirs of voices as they’re singing out His name, again we tell the story, of how the Christ child came. One night a year. We believe in peace on Earth. One night a year. We praise our Savior’s birth. I wish every night the whole year through could be like Christmas Eve. When love’s pure light is shining everywhere. One night a year.” Wouldn’t it be great if that was the case? If we took the magic and spirit of the holiday with us everywhere we go throughout the year; think of the difference in the attitudes we could make if this could happen. Remember how great you feel on Christmas morning and New Year’s Eve? Take that spirit of love, caring, and acceptance into 2017 and every year all year long and see how different you feel. Maybe when you get stressed at work, or your

spouse or child makes you angry, think of the smell of sugar cookies baking while your family gathers together to share fellowship and together times. Think of that warm feeling by a fireplace on a snowy afternoon. If we can take our minds to a place where we feel safe and happier, we can spread that cheer to others and make our own lives happier. For some people giving back makes them feel happy and it actually brings joy to others to help those in need. At Different Roads Home, we try to offer help in the right direction every single day. Either through our community educations, events, support groups, mentorship, or food pantry. There are so many ways that we could use your help in changing the lives of those suffering from chronic illness. You can volunteer your time, offer a one-time donation, or a continuous giving donation to help with our programming. You can also tell others about us. LIKE our Facebook page, which we try to share something on every single day, visit our website at www.differentroadshome. org, or call us at 704-237-8793 and even stop by the office and say hello. No matter how you celebrate your holiday traditions, we at Different Roads Home and our clinical partner Rosedale Medical want to wish you the happiest of holiday seasons. Be safe and make memories with family and friends that you can draw on in the darker times that may come in the year ahead. Have that memory of the “feeling” of Christmas in your back pocket to pull out and brighten your own day when you need it.

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life

Health Beat

Eating disorders bigger challenges for the LGBTQ community Statistics show disparity with straight men by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Photo Credit: Photographee.eu via Adobe Stock

Photo Credit: rolffimages via Adobe Stock

uring this time of the year, families and friends gather together to celebrate a plethora of holidays. And, in doing so, food may be a central figure in these get togethers. However, for those who are eating disordered, such as individuals with bulimia, anorexia, binge/purge eating, among others, the season may be one that presents discomfort, anxiety and possibly a need to withdraw. In the LGBTQ community, incidents of eating disorders are far higher than those among the straight sector. Rachel Albert with the Eating Recovery Center (ERC) shared the National Eating Disorders Association’s (NEDA) findings that 42 percent of men who have eating disorders are gay, and gay and bisexual men are seven times more likely to binge, and 12 times more likely to purge than heterosexual men. “It is important to raise awareness of an often under-discussed, yet significant health issue affecting this community,” she added. In addition, the LGBTQ community has been impacted by the rise of trends such as extremely healthy and clean eating, which can lead to orthorexia, as well as an obsession with fitness and compulsive exercising, she said. Myra Hendley, primary therapist at the Carolinas center, added more to the healthcare risk narrative. When asked if the demographic of those with eating disorders and who identify as LGBTQ, if there was more evidence that it affects females more than males, she shared, “More often than not, I see women who present in treatment for an eating disorder and report they are a sexual minority. The Journal of College Counseling published an article in 2013 identifying that sexual minority women report higher levels of eating concerns, trauma, anxiety and depression. However, when I treat a male with an eating disorder, I would venture to say they almost always mention gender or sexuality confusion.” She added that NEDA also reported that in the U.S.,

20 million women and 10 million men will suffer from an eating disorder. These numbers reflect only those who are open to reporting their illness and have a clinically significant illness. “I imagine LGBT males underreport their illness in order to maintain a physical stereotype and generally ask for help less than women in the US culture.” When asked if there was any evidence that there is a higher number in those 15-25, as opposed to those in the 25-35, 35-50, 50-65, 65 and older groups, she added, “Eating disorders present in all ages. As a whole, more and more older people present with eating disorders than commonly suspected. Research is available for this topic, but in the demographic of those with eating disorders who identify as LGBT, there is less reviewed evidence about age prevalence. NEDA reports body dissatisfaction in lesbian women presents as early as age 12, LBGTQ youth are at a higher risk for binge eating and purging and in ages 18-19 there is more evidence of bulimia symptoms than in older populations. When treating patients who identify as LGBTQ, the greater part of my practice has been with ages 15-25 as opposed to those in the 25-35, 35-50, 50-65, 65 and older. I would add that generally eating disorders are presenting in treatment in that age range in general, not just in the LGBT population.” Hendley asserted that the leading cause among the LGBT community is three-fold. “First, many patients who have an eating disorder have experienced trauma and are likely to hide events in their past that lead to the genetically-predisposed onset of an eating disorder. The second is family of origin influence. If a person is part of a non-supportive system, they are likely to develop mal-adaptive coping skills to deal with anxiety and depression that can manifest as an eating disorder. Lastly, weight stigma in society coupled with temperament predisposition often results in an eating disorder.” She added, “If one is able to think

of an eating disorder symbolically, they will gain insight to why the LGBTQ population presents for eating disorder treatment. Simply put, an anorexic patient may hide their self or who they are and then resort to restricting their food and shrinking away to nothing, oppressed in society. Likewise, a bulimic patient or a binge eating disorder patient may seek to fill the void of social acceptance and begin their novelty seeking track that leads to a cycle of binging and purging.” Also, gay male image can result in thinking one is too thin or too heavy. Hendley said, “Body image and self-image are often highly important for gay males as they play into their susceptibility to developing an eating disorder. These also affect their dayto-day life and social interaction with others, whether they are too heavy or too thin.” She also shared, that the lack of cultural sensitivity to LGBTQ individuals “permeates” America in general, despite the recent political and social progress, “never mind the physical stereotypes assigned to them.” She asked a patient in her practice about eating disorders in the LGBTQ community and they responded, “I think that gay men have it tough because they have a lot of pressure to be thin.” Hendley is in agreement and “unfortunately” thinks this is perpetuated in media and society. She added, “NEDA reports that gay men are disproportionately identified as having poor body image to other populations.” Gay men represent only five percent of the population, but [NEDA stated that] 42 percent of those men have eating disorders. “One can only assume this shocking statistic supports the assumption that body dissatisfaction is highly prevalent and socially noticed in the gay male community leading to eating disorder behaviors to change dissatisfaction,” she concluded. For more information or to speak to a Masters-level clinician, call the ERC at 877-789-5758, email info@eatingrecoverycenter. com or visit eatingrecoverycenter.com. : :

Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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life

Holiday events continued from page 11 Dec. 16-24 “A Christmas Carol” Times vary. See website for details. The Charles Dickens’ classic story is presented onstage. Tickets available online. Triad Stage Hanesbrand Theatre 209 N. Spruce St., Winston-Salem, N.C. triadstage.org. Dec. 16-26 McAdenville Christmas Town USA Monday-Friday, 5:30-9:30 p.m. Saturday-Sunday, 5:30-11 p.m. Take a jaunt down I-85 to magical McAdenville for a free tour of homes decked out in Christmas lights and more. mcadenville-christmastown.com. Dec. 16-31 Speedway Christmas 6 p.m. Ride through the 3.75-mile course and see the Christmas Light Show showcasing three million lights. Thursday-Sunday (and all Christmas week) the show also includes a Christmas village with a petting zoo, Bethlehem village, horse-drawn wagon rides, photos with Santa, and more. ThursdaySunday nights, see two movie showings of Christmas classics (“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” “Frosty’s Winter Wonderland,” “The Grinch,” “Mickey’s Christmas Carol,” “Frozen”) during “FOX 46 Movie Nights” on the Speedway’s 16,000-square-foot TV. Check website for dates. Charlotte Motor Speedway 5555 Concord Pkwy. S., Illustration Credit: Concord, N.C. penwin via charlottemotorspeedway.com. Adobe Stock Dec. 16-Jan. 1 Holidays at the Garden 6-9 p.m. Display of more than 500,000 lights, as well as a model train display and horse-drawn carriage rides. Tickets available online. Daniel Stowe Botanical Gardens 6500 S. New Hope Rd., Belmont, N.C. dsbg.org. Dec. 16-Jan. 2 The More the Merrier See website for times. Associated Artists’ annual holiday art exhibit. Pieces available for sale. Associated Artists 251 N. Spruce St., Winston-Salem, N.C. associatedartists.org. Dec. 16-Jan. 3 19th Annual Twelve Days of Christmas 8 a.m.-10 p.m. Event features festive meals, breakfast and brunch with Santa, horse-drawn carriage rides, holiday teas, skating, display of wonderful gingerbread houses and more. The Carolina Inn 211 Pittsboro St., Chapel Hill, N.C. carolinainn.com. Dec. 16-Jan. 7 Candlelight Christmas Evenings Enjoy candlelight and firelight reminiscent of the first Vanderbilt family Christmas in 1895.

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Dec. 16-29 . 2016

Decorative appointments fill the historical home as visitors enjoy a nostalgic tour. Dec. 16-Jan. 8 Christmas Daytime Celebration Be inspired by grand spaces enhanced by lavishly decorated trees, fireplaces adorned with greenery, ribbons, and flowers and creative Christmas finery across the estate. Tickets available online Biltmore House 1 Lodge St., Asheville, N.C. biltmore.com. Dec. 16-Jan. 8 Outdoor Skating at Holiday on Ice Times vary. See website for details. Strap on those blades and venture out to Uptown Charlotte’s only outdoor ice skating rink. NASCAR Hall of Fame Plaza 400 E. Martin Luther King Blvd., Charlotte, N.C. holidayonicecharlotte.com. Dec. 26-Jan. 1 Kwanzaa 2016 — A Celebration of Family, Community and Culture 7-9 p.m. 50th Anniversary of the founding of Kwanzaa. Programs will be conducted throughout the Charlotte community. Sign language interpretation by Fluent Language Solutions will be available for designated programs and upon request. An African Marketplace will take place on selected evenings, and will open at 6 p.m. Dec. 17, 11 a.m.-1 p.m., family workshop, Harvey B. Gantt Center for African American Arts+Culture, 551 S. Tryon St., Charlotte, N.C. Each day families and individuals are reminded to incorporate the values expressed in the Nguza Saba (Unity, Self Determination, Collective Work & Responsibility, Cooperative Economics, Purpose, Creativity and Faith) into their life. Individual programs held each night across the Queen City for each Nguza Saba. Locations are available online. All events are free and open to the public. Kwanzaa Charlotte kwanzaacharlotte.com. Entertainment Dec. 18 Charlotte Pride Band Winter Concert 3 p.m. Settle in for this free event featuring brass and woodwind ensembles. The band will be collecting toy items for Sterling Elementary. Bring one of the following items to support the drive: jump ropes, frisbees, nerf balls, sidewalk chalk, crayons, coloring books, yo yos, card games, games, hacky sacks and water toys. Temple Beth El 5101 Providence Rd., Charlotte, N.C. charlotteprideband.org. Dec. 21 A Carolina Christmas 8 p.m. This holiday-inspired evening features Jaggermouth, Numbo and The Business People. $10/advance and $12/at the door, or $8/with blanket or coat (donated to Crisis Assistance Ministry) Visualite Theatre 1615 Elizabeth Ave., Charlotte, N.C. visulite.com.

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views

spiritual reflections by Rabbi Joshua Lesser :: guest contributor

Saying ‘I do’ to all that needs to be done: My upcoming marriage in a Trump presidency The night of the election, and early into the morning, my partner Alex and I were exhausted. We took time out from our political commentary and analysis before surrendering to sleep to have a personal conversation. “Alex, if Trump wins, we have to get a puppy as soon as possible.” We had been looking, but each time we went to a shelter, the puppy we were considering was already being adopted. I didn’t have to explain to him how important it was to have something to nurture and to bring joy in the face of a presidency that could (and now certainly will) have devastating consequences. Shortly after 9/11, I dug up my entire front yard and planted a garden and put in pathways as a way to channel my grief into a personal stewardship. This time felt similar, but this time it’s a puppy because everything is about to get so much more personal. We committed to adopting a dog. Then with tears welling up in my eyes, I whispered, “I think we need to change our wedding plans. We need to get married much sooner, before Jan. 20th.” Only after four couples shared with me, and two colleagues inquired about moving up the weddings of their congregants, that I realized how many other couples were having the same conversation. The fear was both real and viral. When I realized that there was a target on our pending nuptials, what was simple happiness now was in this political tangle. The heart within my heart broke. Marriage equality had been among many social justice priorities in the past; albeit, one that was less urgent to me. Now that it has become the law of the land, it is painful to know our right to marriage is in jeopardy. For me, the heartbreak is not about pushing up the wedding, but that fear and hatred has once again injected itself into my personal and private life. What was joyful is now tainted. What was organic and unfolding was contained and conscripted. It is even hard to know how to proceed. Will marriage be defined solely between a man and a woman as a U.S. constitu-

tional amendment? Will marriage be kicked back to the states allowing each state to decide? If so, are we better off getting married outside of our home state of Georgia? What will happen to the couples who are already married? This is a whole other kind of wedding planning than I expected. No one has written the handbook, “How to Get Married in Politically Uncertain Times.” Earlier on election night, I was thinking about how Muslims and undocumented immigrants were going to need an immediate expression of support and solidarity. I began to prioritize issues in my head in a subtle way to organize my energies. I had been putting my energies into racial justice, income inequality, interfaith understanding, and LGBTQ civil rights. The alarm went off underscoring a truth I already knew. I cannot think of how to engage in a linear way. It is hard to adjust as the landscape keeps changing. Each day a new person is named for an appointment, and he (the vast majority are men) represents some chilling view that upholds a white supremacist, patriarchal, Christian hegemony. We will need an intersectional approach because anything that threatens the white male Christian supremacy is about to be punished. Marriage is only one of many upcoming dangers. We will be demeaned; we will be legislated as inferior and defective; we will be disenfranchised, and our lives will be endangered in so many ways. For most queer people, people of color and religious minorities this has been the reality of most of our lives, and so now this is just much more so. Marriage is only one frontier, and for me politically, it has never been the highest priority. However, it provides a set of rights and protections that intersect with other identities that need such protections. The bigotry and supremacy of this upcoming Trump administration are systemic. I understand now that I have to work with the many intersections and impacts. My own family

is brown, immigrant, queer and Jewish: a symbolic microcosm of how the dangers of a Trump presidency dissects lives. With all of this hatred as a backdrop, I am so grateful for a partner to face these challenges with, a person who brings creativity, adventure, thoughtfulness, kindness, justice and love into my life. Together we will protest, defend, strategize, and protect with others through these times. We will transform the “for worse” into “for better” for others and ourselves. And I am grateful for Opal, the puppy, who brings kisses, wonder and more love. At the Humane Society, there was a black lesbian couple also looking for a puppy. We connected with each other as we looked at the adorable puppies. As we decided on pups at the same time, we sat and spoke. One of the women said, “Our dog died earlier this year, and we felt like it was time to adopt again. How about you?” I responded, “Well, this is one of the ways I am coping with a Trump presidency.” She laughed and then leaned into me whispering, “I think you guys are in the same situation as us.” Understanding code, I nodded. She said, “We think we have to get married immediately, like tomorrow. We were going to wait until next summer.” She sighed, “Everything just feels upside down.” I nodded and said, “We have discussed the very same thing.” When I told her I was a rabbi, she joked with her partner that they could get married and adopt a dog at the same time. As we left together, I saw the joy in their smiles, and I felt it in ours. Opal and Candi off to their new homes. For just that moment the tremors had stopped in this political earthquake; the world was right side up, ready for us to say “I do” to all that needs to be done. : : — Rabbi Joshua Lesser is the leader of Congregation Bet Haverim in Atlanta, Ga. He is active with initatives like the Rainbow Center (an LGBTQ Jewish communal response), one of the founders of Faith Alliance of Metro Atlanta, board member of Georgia Equality and the Anti-Defamation League, among others.

Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Are celibacy rules turning clergy into criminals? Dear Trinity, With everything that’s been going on in the Catholic Church surrounding celibacy, is celibacy really practical in today’s oversexed society? Celibate Thoughts, Portland, OR Dear Celibate Thoughts, Remember back to 2008 when the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Denver paid $5.5 million to settle 18 claims of pedophilia? Immediately, billions of people and I wondered, “Is being sexless in a sexually driven society really possible? Is celibacy too much to ask from even the holiest of men? And is abstinence really that much “more” spiritual or divine than being in a healthy, loving relationship?” Well, I think celibacy might have been practical before gay liberation, Victoria’s Secret, “Sex In The City” and before Hollywood turned everything into a love story. But honestly, sweetie, nowadays, religious celibacy really isn’t that practical or possible for just anyone! Dearest Trinity, I’ve taken your advice and started dating, a lot. But still it seems like there’s no one out there for me. Am I destined to be single forever? Dating Doubts, Berkeley, CA

qnotes

Dec. 16-29 . 2016

Dearest Dating Doubts, When one is on the path of dating, there are many people who trick with you, I mean trick you, and your self-esteem into giving up, i.e., dating jerks, meeting uninterested people, getting frustrated or finding out that all the good ones are taken. But you must keep trying! You must get past the tricks of disappointment. And you must keep your self-esteem high! Oh, and you must try OKCupid.com, I love it. Oh, and honey, quitting is for losers, not for intelligent, assertive, adventurous beings! (Keep looking for someone who makes you feel special. Don’t go it alone in the movie theatre like my cartoon shows.) Hello Trinity, I’m dating a great guy, except that he’s a major workaholic. And he’s always traveling for work. Am I chasing a workhorse? Date Chaser, Orlando, FL Hello Date Chaser, With this past November’s election results, with Florence Henderson gone and with winter coming on fast, some of us are choosing to hide a little too much in our work. Whether it’s right, wrong or just genetics, your date thinks he’s in a horse race. This means, pumpkin, you need to manipulate the situation by talking to him, trying to get him to see his workaholic ways and of-

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fering him changes in his fears of working less and spending more time on life and romance. If you can do this, great, if you can’t then… you may just have to start shopping for a different horse! Good luck. Hey Trinity, After five years, I never thought I’d be asking, but how do I get my partner excited to sleep with me again. As time went on, our sex life went off. Help! Not Getting Much, Cheyenne, WY Hey Not Getting Much, Today most couples are overworked and over stimulated, which means that there’s a growing problem of things actually not growing, so baby, to rectify the situation try: Trinity’s Hot Tips For Putting The Sex Back Into Your Relationship 1. Attractiveness and desirability will get you more attention and make him or her crave you more. It’s that simple! 2. Early to bed means you’ll have more time in bed! 3. Afternoons on Saturday and Sunday is when you both should be…just getting up! 4. L eave for a few days and then return. Absence makes “everything” grow firmer, I mean fonder! 5. S exify the house and the bedroom with candles, music and maybe a fire when he or she comes home! 6. B edrooms are for love making and sleeping not therapy sessions!

7. G et away together to someplace more romantic than your boring old house! 8. Spice up the romance by inventing new games, bringing home new toys and showing off your new naughty undergarments! 9. Cellphones have their place and they also have “off” buttons. Don’t let it control your fun! 10. Lastly, trick him or her into getting in the mood with two of life’s most natural aphrodisiacs: wine followed by a massage. It always works for me! : : info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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news

Biz Beat

Carolina companies get top marks in HRC Corporate Equality Index Eight get perfect score, while one gets a zero by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) has released its 2017 Corporate Equality Index and Carolina companies have made the grade. Included are (company/city/state/score in percentage): Delhaize America Inc. (parent company of Food Lion, Salisbury, N.C., 100); Blue Cross Blue Shield of North Carolina (Durham, N.C., 100); Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams (Taylorsville, N.C., 100); Moore & Van Allen PLLC (Charlotte, N.C., 100); Womble Carlyle Sandridge & Rice LLP (Winston-Salem, N.C., 100); Ingersoll-Rand Company (Davidson, N.C., 100); GlaxoSmithKline LLC (Research Triangle Park, N.C., 100); Replacements Ltd. (McLeansville, N.C., 100); Hanesbrands Inc. (Winston-Salem, N.C., 90); Duke Energy Corp. (Charlotte, N.C., 90); Compass Group USA Inc. (Charlotte, N.C., 90); and Reynolds American Inc. (Winston-Salem, N.C., 85). At the bottom of the list was Sonic Automotive Inc. (Charlotte, N.C., 0), with Nucor Corp. (Charlotte, N.C., 10) only slightly higher. This year’s index included 647 participating companies. Nationally, those at the 100 percent mark rose from 407 in 2016 to 517 in 2017. Gender identity is now part of non-discrimination policies at 82 percent of Fortune 500

companies, up from just 3 percent in 2002; and 387 major employers have adopted supportive inclusion guidelines for transgender workers who are transitioning. In March, HRC and Equality North Carolina released a letter from more than 100 leading CEOs and other business leaders calling on Gov. Pat McCrory and the North Carolina General Assembly to repeal HB2. The letter — signed by CEOs and business leaders from across the nation — was delivered by HRC President Chad Griffin and Equality North Carolina Executive Director Chris Sgro personally to Gov. McCrory’s office. Over the spring, an additional 100 business leaders signed onto the letter — including many of North Carolina’s largest employers. Major

film studios and corporations, from PayPal to Deutsche Bank, stopped investments in the state because of the new law’s threat to employees and consumers. Artists including Beyoncé, Bruce Springsteen, Dead & Company, and Cyndi Lauper have spoken out. Conventions have withdrawn from the state, taking substantial revenue with them, and the Charlotte Chamber said in May that HB2 has cost the Mecklenburg area alone $285 million and 1300 jobs. “Even in the face of relentless attempts to undermine equality, America’s leading companies and law firms remain steadfast and committed to supporting and defending the rights and dignity of LGBTQ people,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “The unprecedented expansion of inclusive workplaces across the country and around the globe not only reflects our progress, it helps drive it. As we enter a new chapter in our fight for equality, support from the business community will be more critical than ever to protect our historic advancements over the last decade and to continue to push equality forward for workers, customers, and families around the world.” The full report is available online at hrc.org/cei. info: hrc.org.

Dec. 16-29 . 2016

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EVENTS

Submit your event to our calendar!

December 2016-January 2017 SEP DEC MO

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Goodyear Arts Residency Show Goodyear Arts 516 N. College St., Charlotte 6-9 p.m.

Explore works from current artistsin-residence including Dylan Gilbert, Grace Elizabeth Stott and Andrew Vail. Sculpture, ceramics, installation, tapestries, prints, mixed media, an interactive sound installation and a preview of a musical will all be on display. This is a free event and free beer will be available while it lasts. The location is a converted tire store, now artists’ studio. More information is available online. goodyeararts.com. –––––––––––––––––––– Continues through Dec. 17 Charlotte Symphony: ‘Messiah’ Knight Theater 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. The Charlotte Symphony and Chorus celebrate the holiday season by performing the classic and memorable Handel’s “Messiah,” with Kenney Potter conducting. Soloists will join the Symphony and Chorus. Ticket prices vary. More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

Continues through Dec. 18 SEP DEC MO ‘Cinderella’ Raleigh Little Theatre 301 Pogue St., Raleigh Times vary Raleigh Little Theatre will once again perform its annual “Cinderella” show, telling the familiar story of a young woman forced to serve her stepmother and stepsisters who treat her poorly, and her eventual rise to a place of triumph and love. Ticket prices vary. Tickets and more information are available online. raleighlittletheatre.org. –––––––––––––––––––– Continues through Dec. 23 Charlotte Ballet: ‘Nutcracker’ Belk Theater 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte Times vary

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The “Nutcracker” returns like never before, with a million dollar makeover thanks to a generous grant from the McColl family in honor of Jane Spratt McColl, featuring all new sets and costumes. The show also features choreography from the legendary JeanPierre Bonnefoux, live music from the Charlotte Symphony and a cast of over 100. Ticket prices vary. More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a threefor-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

A Benji Hughes Christmas SEP DEC MO with Alternative Champs, Fat Face Band Snug Harbor 1228 Gordon St., Charlotte 9 p.m. Benji Hughes brings his bold and eclectic sounds to all the good boys and girls on Christmas Eve. Hughes’ debut album, the double-disc album “A Love Extreme” brought him national attention. His latest release “Songs in the Key of Animals” comes from Merge Records. He will be joined by Alternative Champs and The Fat Face Band. Tickets cost $10. Tickets and more information available online. snugrock.com.

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Continues through Dec. 30 The Hip Hop Nutcracker Knight Theater 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte Times vary A modern reimagining of “The Nutcracker,” with a reimagining of Tchaikovsky’s score through hip hop choreography. The show features a dozen dancers, as well as DJs and MCs and celebrates love, family and the magic of New Year’s Eve. Ticket prices vary. Tickets and more information are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

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Dec. 16-29 . 2016

Continues through Jan. 14 Charlotte Symphony: ‘Star Wars The Music!’ Knight Theater 430 S. Tryon St., Charlotte Times vary The Charlotte Symphony celebrates the 40th anniversary of “Star Wars.” Selections from John Williams’ scores spanning all seven films will be performed with James Lees conducting. Ticket prices vary. More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

SEP JAN MO

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Continues through Feb. 5 SEP JAN MO ‘Crimes of the Heart’ Theatre Charlotte 501 Queens Rd., Charlotte Times vary In this Pulitzer Prize-winning Southern Gothic screwball comedy, three eccentric sisters in Mississippi are all in the middle of separate life crises. Babe is out on bail after shooting her husband, Meg has left Hollywood for a psych ward and Lenny is facing her 30th birthday with no romantic prospects. Tickets cost $27. More information and tickets are available online. theatrecharlotte.org.

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SEP DEC MO

To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

Continues through Dec. 31 SEP DEC MO Shen Yun Belk Theater 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte Times vary A showcase of music and dance, blending East and West, with dazzling animated backdrops. The performance explores ancient legends, and modern heroic tales, taking you on a journey through 5,000 years of Chinese culture. Ticket prices vary. Tickets and more are information available online. blumenthalarts.org.

Continues through Jan. 7 Charlotte Symphony: Schubert ‘Great C Major’ and More Belk Theater 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 8 p.m. The Charlotte Symphony Orchestra presents a program featuring Schubert’s “Great C Major,” Beethoven’s “Overture to Fidelio,” and a commissioned percussion concerto by Winthrop University’s Leonard Mark Lewis called “Evolution.” Christopher Warren-Green will be conducting and Leonard Soto playing percussion. Ticket prices vary. Tickets and more information are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

SEP JAN MO

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dishing with buff faye by Buff Faye :: qnotes contributor :: info@bufffaye.com

Spilling the Tea — Integrity It has been over a year now from when I stood up for a drag queen who worked at one bar, to attend a pageant at another bar. It was, and may still be, policy of the bar not to allow entertainers who work at other clubs to even patronize this club. I felt then and still feel now, that this policy is unfair, discriminatory and hurtful to the entire drag community and our local LGBTQ community. Why would any club ban drag queens like myself — or anyone — from patronizing their club on our night off or to see a pageant of our fellow drag queens — simply because we work for another club? Some in the drag community may see my defiance as simply bePhoto Credit: ing dramatic or trying Thomas Feldman to start something. But Tyvola Design I was not rumoring or gossiping, I was simply standing up for what I thought was right. This drag queen was a friend, and she was not going to harm anyone by going to the pageant. Plus, I was a promoter of the system and had a free pass to bring whomever I would like to bring. It was the right thing to do — to stand up, to speak up, to have “integrity.” A year later, despite now being banned from entering at this bar, I am proud of this decision and have no regrets. It has left me wondering, though, if other drag queens would have done the same for me — or, for that matter, others in the drag community? Maybe that is unfair to ask. After all, some drag queens desperately want to be on stage and have paid bookings. Maybe its just in the nature of drag queens to settle for less. Or to take whatever they are given. But at what cost? Each of us has a choice in how we want to be treated and how we treat others. If we choose not to say something when someone we care about is hurt or harmed, do we enable that behavior to continue as part of a cycle of harm toward the next person? In social justice terms, it is called being an “upstander,” instead of being a “bystander.” Do we say something when someone makes a racist comment? Do you stop jokes that are sexist? Do we intervene when we see someone being cyber-bullied on Facebook? Do we stand up to discrimination in all its forms? Or do we just post selfies, talk about our own problems — and pretend it does not involve us? All of this gets back to the notion of “integrity.” Why do we as a drag community allow anyone to tear us apart? Why do we not stand up or say no? This is not just about a bar or a person. It is about a culture of humanity that believes all people are worthy of human dignity. We must answer the question: “What do we stand for as individual drag queens, and what is possible when we stand together?”

This all reminds me of a story I heard when I was a kid. It was the story of the “Scorpion and the Fox.” Do you know the story? One day the Fox was playing by the river, jumping in the grass and chasing his tail. The sun was bright, and the Fox did not have a care in the world. Then, a Scorpion with a big smile on his face walks up and says, “Howdy, Mr. Fox! How are you today?” The Fox replied pleasantly, “I am dandy Mr. Scorpion.” The Scorpion, although nice, was a bit intimidating with prickly legs and a big stinger on his back tail. The Fox knew the Scorpion was dangerous, but it seemed friendly. The Scorpion then kindly asked the Fox for a favor: “Will you help me, Mr. Fox, cross the river? I need your assistance because I am not able to swim.” The Fox looked puzzled and said, “Well Scorpion, if I did that you would have to promise to not sting me or else we would both drown in the water and die.” “Of course, I promise. I would never do that,” Scorpion replied. The Fox agreed to help, and the Scorpion jumped on his back. The Fox stepped in the water and the Scorpion nestled behind his neck. The Fox swam quickly, paddling with his legs across the river. As he neared the other side, the Fox felt a deep sting and burn around his neck. The Fox yelled, “Ouch, Scorpion. You stung me. Now we will drown and both of us will die. Why did you do that?” The Scorpion looked the Fox in the eye and said, “I am a Scorpion. It’s in my nature.” What’s the moral of this story? When I heard the story as a kid, it reminded me how difficult it can be to find trust in people. I think the story also asks us to think about how much we should all care about how others are treated. Do we have integrity for ourselves and for others in our drag community? Should we care about our drag sisters and how they are treated? If you have read this far, I hope you will consider those questions. The “real Tea” is about “integrity.” I personally do care for you and will stand up for any of you with a just cause. Remember if you don’t stand for something, than you fall for everything. We should each find ways to stand up, stand together — whenever possible. : : DRAG TIP: “If you want more money, ask… don’t get mad, don’t take it personal.” — Buff Faye calls the Queen City her home and performs to shake her boobs (and to raise money for charities). Find her at your favorite bars and hot spots. Plus don’t forget her weekly Saturday night show with Patti O’Furniture, monthly Sunday drag brunch and regular Friday night party bus. Learn more at AllBuff.com. Follow on Twitter @BuffFaye

SHOUT OUTS: Come out to Buff Faye’s Holiday Nativity Drag Brunch at Pure Pizza in Plaza Midwood on Saturday, Dec. 17. Seating is at noon and showtime at 1 p.m.

Dec. 16-29 . 2016

qnotes

Dec. 16-29 . 2016