QNotes, December 29, 2017 by QnotesCarolinas

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Councilmember Braxton Winston livestreams public forum since the city arts. entertainment. news. refuses toviews. itself Dec. 11 - goqnotes.com/56578

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Person of the Year 2017 News Notes: Regional Briefs News Notes: U.S./World Briefs Organizations on the Move qnotes’ Top 2017 Stories Notable PPL Coming Out in 2017 Queer Music from 2017

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Top stories from qnotes’ 2017 online postings page 10

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Will Charlotte City Council resume televising the public comment portion of its meetings? Dec. 12 - goqnotes.com/56603 Brandi Seals, transgender woman of color, found dead in Houston Dec. 16 - goqnotes.com/56739 Transgender woman who recently relocated from North Carolina dies in a Michigan house fire Dec. 20 - goqnotes.com/56824

a&e / life&style 16 Tell Trinity 18 Q Events Calendar 19 Health & Wellness

LGBTQ New Year’s Eve events in Charlotte Dec. 20 - goqnotes.com/56821 Comic Girl Coffee will open its doors on Christmas Day for ‘Queermas’ event Dec. 23 - goqnotes.com/56881

opinions & views

Charlotte Chamber 2018

Health & Wellness

5 Commentary: Council Meetings 15 Legal Eagles: Adoption

The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce has installed its new officers and board members. page 6

Using spectrum bulbs to beat away the winter doldrums and feeling more energized. page 19

Breitbart discovers children’s book starring a black, gay Santa Claus and is not pleased Dec. 24 - goqnotes.com/56905

Dec. 29 . 2017 - Jan. 12 . 2018

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Spotlight

Person of the Year: Rev. William Barber Barber relaunches Dr. King’s Poor People’s Campaign to take the message of equality and inclusion nationwide, state by state by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes staff

ev. William Barber II announced this year that he would be stepping down as head of the North Carolina chapter of the NAACP, after leading it for over a decade. He has been credited with breathing new life into the group, and taking it, as was his stated goal at the start of his tenure, “from banquets to battle.” While the news would be deflating in most contexts, the cause for the change is in fact cause for uplift. Barber, who was elected president of the NAACP’s youth council at age 15, and was student government president of both his high school class and during his college years at North Carolina Central University, is anything but done. “I’m not leaving the state,” he told Raleigh’s News & Observer back in May. “I’m accepting a call, a very spiritual call.” That call? To make a nationwide impact, organizing with other leaders to jumpstart a moral revival in America, by relaunching Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s Poor People’s Campaign, some 50 years after it was initially conceived.

livable standard and taking various actions to disenfranchise and restrict the rights of voters. The direct action will also be paired with a report, called “The Souls of Poor Folk: Auditing America 50 Years After the Poor People’s Campaign.” It will set out in detail why those involved in this reboot of the Poor People’s Campaign are calling for real change. “When you take an honest, empiricallybased look at where we are on the issues of poverty, and where we are on the issues of policies that…were working, but that have been undermined and underfunded, [you see proof] that as one person said, ‘The war on poverty is not a war we lost, it’s a war that we abandoned in the field,’” Barber said.

A history of direct action in North Carolina Barber came upon many people’s radar during the Moral Monday protests that brought attention to a host of issues affecting the poor and disenfranchised in North Carolina, due to the passage of a rash of regressive laws. Not least of those was one of the worst campaigns of voter suppression in American Rev. William Barber II has been at the forefront of the fight for equality and social justice on the national history. Relaunching the Poor stage level. Here he is seen speaking to participants in a Moral Monday initative at the In addition to racially motivated, gerrymanPeople’s Campaign North Carolina State Capitol in Raleigh, N.C. dered redistricting, the Republicans in the North Barber is now heading up Repairers of the Photo Credit: TW Buckner via Flickr. CC 2.0-BY license Carolina General Assembly passed a restrictive Breach, a social justice group established to voter ID law that Barber called “the worst one train faith leaders who wish to also answer a Various organizations with experience with, and a commitsince Jim Crow.” call to carry on the ceaseless fight for justice ment to, lifting people out of poverty, and taking on the various The Supreme Court finally struck it down in May. and economic and civil rights. forces upholding systemic inequality, are joining the effort, But Barber wants people to remember that his group had It is this group, for which he was consecrated as Bishop by including groups like Picture the Homeless in New York and been showing up long before the Republicans seized a supermathe LGBTQ-led College of Progress Bishops earlier this year, Charlotte-based The Freedom Center for Social Justice. jority in both the House and Senate, and that his motivations are along with the Kairos Center at Union Theological Seminary in Barber and Reverend Dr. Liz Theoharis, co-director of the moral, not partisan. New York City, that will lead the new Poor People’s Campaign: A Kairos Center, are acting as co-chairs of the new campaign. “We had been engaged in the Forward Together Moral National Call for Moral Revival. They have assembled what Barber called “a powerful Movement and the HKonJ [Historic Thousands on Jones Street] The original campaign was cut short, due primarily to King steering committee with great depth,” that includes a member People’s Assembly since 2007,” he told qnotes. “A lot of people having been assassinated less than a year after he made a public of the original Poor People’s Campaign committee, whom King forget that. We were challenging [policies] when Democrats speech announcing the need for such an effort, “to realize that we personally invited to join, North Carolinian Al McSurely. were in office. We challenged Democrats to expand same-day have moved from the era of civil rights to the era of human rights.” There are plans for coordinated, nonviolent direct action in registration for early voting. We challenged Democrats to be the “Kairos Center and Repairers of the Breach, the organization 25 state capitols and Washington, D.C., launching in May of next first state to raise the minimum wage in the South. We chalI’m now President and Senior Lecturer of, we are combining toyear, Barber shared. lenged Democrats to increase our equal protection clauses to gether to bring the experience from the Forward Together Moral The states chosen are those that have failed their most vulnercover LGBTQ people, even before there was a battle over the Movement, [as well as] our own personal experiences of years able citizens, by taking actions such as failing to protect LGBTQ marriage amendment [Amendment One].” of working on behalf of justice and the poor, and the years the people from discrimination, refusing to expand Medicaid under the Kairos Center has been working and planning for this, along with Affordable Care Act, refusing to increase the minimum wage to a many others,” Barber told qnotes. see Barber on 12

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Commentary

Rebutting arguments against Charlotte City Council televising the public comments portion of its meetings City Council is set to revisit the issue at the start of the new year

Charlotte City Council no longer televises the public comment portion of its meetings.

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against, and our poll shows more support than opposition at the time this commentary was written (see goqnotes.com/56782 to view the results). That said, I have seen quite a few arguments opposed to bringing the cameras back for the public comment. Frankly, so far I have found all of them lacking. Arguments against televising the public forum & their rebuttals Speakers were getting off topic. The stated purpose of the forum is for citizens to bring forward their concerns on any issue. So how, then, would it even be possible to be off topic? This is the argument put forward by City Council itself, through Kenny Smith, who has since left following his unsuccessful bid to become mayor. For the most part, City Council doesn’t like to talk about it. Perhaps because they know this argument is weak.

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qnotes connect Dec. 29, 2017-Jan. 11, 2018 Vol 32 No 18

by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes staff

Charlotte City Council no longer televises the public forum portion of its meetings, where residents can bring issues to council members. It voted to cease the practice after a contentious forum following the police shooting death of Keith Lamont Scott. In October, it voted to bring the forum back into the main chamber, out from a separate and smaller room, but upheld the decision to keep the cameras turned off during that portion of its otherwise televised meetings. The move has brought about much debate and gained more attention still when Councilmember Braxton Winston made a point by livestreaming the forum himself from the dais on Dec. 11. The City Council is set to revisit the issue at its Jan. 8 business meeting, after Winston declared his intention to push for a vote during that night’s dinner meeting. In the lead-up, I have heard many more arguing in favor of televising the forum than

As for the forum following the Scott shooting, the topic of police brutality is squarely within reason, as City Council oversees the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department (CMPD). The City Council, minus then-Mayor Jennifer Roberts, even issued a letter supporting CMPD Chief Kerr Putney in the aftermath of Scott’s death and the protests that followed. Protests that were met, it must be stated, by a heavily armed and aggressive police force. Speakers used obscenities. Is that even allowed? City Council meetings air on the government channel and website, over which the FCC has no control. While I don’t blame City Council members for taking offense at the aggressive language and, at times, direct threats hurled at them that night, it bears keeping in mind what those individuals were so upset about in the first place. At issue was a man’s death, and the broader concern of police brutality in this country against the African-American community. When one talks about an obscene situation, sometimes an obscenity is well-placed, and sometimes an objection to it is a dodge meant to shut down the underlying argument. Meetings are fully transparent, because you can attend and the notes are posted online. Not everyone can physically get to those meetings, let alone consistently. That’s why the meetings are televised in the first place. As for the notes posted online for the forum, they simply state who spoke and on what topic, not what was said. While the city is under no obligation to televise the public forum, or their meetings in general, choosing to do so and then taking it back is not a good look. Especially when you throw around the word “transparency” almost as much as the phrase “New South.” Put up or shut up, Charlotte. We’re watching, even if you’ve got your cameras turned off. : :

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news notes: carolinas compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Chamber installs new officers, board

The Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce new officers and board members (left to right) are: Nate Turner, board; Gerardo Madrid, director of communications; Jen Carbuto, marketing; Bryan Vanhuystee, treasurer; Chad Turner, president; and Natasha Tutt, board. Not pictured is Gabby Staskiewiz, vice president, and board members Alonzo Brown and Jason Morton.

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — On Dec. 12, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce celebrated the holiday season with its sold out “Making Spirits Bright!” party and annual meeting during which it introduced and installed its 2018 officers and board of directors at the Embassy Suites by Hilton Charlotte Uptown. Taking on leadership responsibilities are: Chad Turner, president; Gabby Staskiewiz, vice president; Bryan Vanhuystee, treasurer; Jen Carbuto, marketing; Gerardo Madrid, director of communications; and board members Alonzo Brown, Jason Morton, Nat Turner and Natasha Tutt. The evening was filled with networking and socializing, as well as entertainment by Mr. Entertainer of the Year Charlton Alicea and musician Jeff Brown, plus a hot buffet. The chamber also announced its 2018 schedule and initiatives. Sponsors for the event included JHG Financial Advisors, Charlotte City Councilmember LaWana Mayfield, Embassy Suites and Charlotte NC Tours, LLC. In other news, the chamber will have its 2018 kick-off meeting and mixer on Jan. 23, 2018, 6:30 p.m., at Chima Steakhouse, 139 S. Tryon St. info: clgbtcc.org.

Charlotte Mayfield appointed to national post

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Charlotte City Councilmember LaWana Mayfield has been appointed to the National League of Cities (NLC) 2018 Human Development (HD) federal advocacy committee. This committee has the lead responsibility for developing NLC federal policy positions on issues involving social services, children and learning, poverty and income support, employment and workforce development, equal opportunity, Social Security and seniors, individuals with disabilities, public healthcare, mental health parity and immigration reform. The appointment was announced by NLC President and Mayor of Little Rock, Ark. Mark Stodola. Mayfield will play a key role in shaping NLC’s policy positions and advocate on behalf of America’s cities and towns before Congress, with the administration and at home. “Serving on an NLC committee is one of the most effective ways for a local official to advocate for their community in Washington,” said Stodola. “I am thrilled to have LaWana Mayfield join a team of local leaders from around the country working to craft our policy platform and to solve the most pressing challenges facing

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our communities.” The leadership of this year’s committee will consist of Chair Gil Ziffer, mayor pro tempore, Tallahassee, Florida; and Vice Chairs Angelia Washington, council member, Jacksonville, N.C.; and Robin ArredondoSavage, vice mayor, Tempe, Az. info: nlc.org/advocacy/committees.

Couple gets engaged at shop

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — On Dec. 22 Drew Swope and Archie Fortner got engaged at Common Market’s Plaza-Midwood location, seven years since they first met at that very spot. “Seven years ago I was coming in from a snowball fight for a warming drink at CM [Common Market] and saw Archie sitting with a friend,” Swope told qnotes. “It seemed fated. I fell in love at first sight.” Fortner is deaf, and Swope is not, but they did not let that get in the way of having an intense conversation. “We sat for hours writing notes,” Swope recalled. “We started dating and I learned basic sign language very fast. So I wanted to propose to Archie where we met. I told him I would ‘beg, borrow, steal’ to make him happy. So I begged, borrowed and stole 10 rings from friends. They arrived from all over America. A friend gave Archie a motorcycle ride to the CM and the rest is history.”

Dec. 29 . 2017 - Jan. 12 . 2018

“Archie will set a wedding date when he’s good and ready,” he added. “I love him very much; he’s made me a very happy man.” A video is available online at goqnotes. com/56869 of the proposal.

Cycle expansion approved

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — On Dec. 11 Mayor Vi Lyles and the Charlotte City Council approved expansion efforts for non-profit, bike-sharing Charlotte B-cycle, founded by LGBTQ community member Dianna Ward who serves as its executive director. Council members voted to accept nearly $1.7 million in funding to nearly double the size of Charlotte’s B-cycle bike-sharing program. The awarded grants include $1 million in Congestion Mitigation Air Quality funding and $675,000 in federal Transportation Alternatives Program funding, the city reported. Charlotte B-cycle plans to add approximately 25 stations. It is currently one of the largest bike-sharing systems in the Southeast, operating 26 stations with 214 blue bikes. The City of Charlotte will provide staff support for the expansion and work with Charlotte B-cycle to decide on future station locations, city resources shared. Charlotte B-cycle was launched in 2012 by Charlotte Center City Partners with support from the City of Charlotte and private sponsors. Ridership has grown from almost 34,000 trips in 2013 to more than 56,000 trips in 2016. The CMAQ grant requires a 22 percent local match and the Transportation Alternatives Program grant requires a 20 percent local match. Charlotte B-cycle will pay the $450,801 in matching funds, while operating and maintaining all B-cycle stations at no cost to the city. info: charlottenc.gov. charlotte.bcycle.com.

TOY announces 2018 projects

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Time Out Youth Center (TOY), 3800 Monroe Rd., has released its 2018 project list of initiatives. Included in the mix are: a digital LGBTQ youth center, a Melanin and MagicQ discussion group and an in-depth study on the construction of an LGBTQ homeless youth transitional living shelter. The digital center is being made possible through a grant from the Laughing Gull Foundation which is using TOY as part of a pilot program. The idea was generated by 92 LGBTQ youth. Trained staff and volunteers will be engaged to work to facilitate an online group. OutRight Youth of the Catawba Valley, Youth Outright of Asheville and Equality North Carolina have committed to advance the project. CenterLink is managing the project on a national level. The first pilot site is BAGLY, the Boston Alliance of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Bisexual and Transgender Youth. Melanin and MagicQ is a 10-week discussion group for queer and allied youth of color. It is designed to be a safe space to discuss unique challenges impacting youth with intersectional identities. The project honors culture though activities and celebrations and recognizing ethnic heritage of youth. The center and the Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Fund will publish a Melanin and MagiQ training manual in the spring, which will be free to use for all LGBTQ community centers across the country. The shelter study will enable the center to move forward on the development of a brick-andmortar shelter. By taking a look at other successful models and working with other organizations, the center will be able to put what they learn into motion. The study is scheduled to take a year before results are announced to the community.

TOY is also seeking monetary contributions so it can continue to support those LGBTQ youth who require assistance. A $25 donation pays for food for one day for a LGBTQ homeless youth in a host home program. Other levels provide for bus fares, cultural competency training, after-school snacks, a dance, and youth advocacy camp tuition for youth. Additionally, TOY is always in need for gift cards for emergency financial assistance, personal care items and art supplies. Contributions can be handled online. info: timeoutyouth.org.

PrEP initiative praised by HIV advocates

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — On Dec. 19 the Mecklenburg County Commission approved the use of $233,000 in contingency funds to implement a PrEP pilot program that will assist uninsured individuals at high risk for contracting HIV. MeckPAC and the North Carolina AIDS Action Network applauded the county commission’s action toward supporting uninsured, at-risk county residents. “We were also encouraged to hear commissioners reference the need to develop a full, comprehensive plan to end new HIV/AIDS diagnoses in the county. We will hold them to their commitment to approve and implement a plan in 2018,” they shared. PrEP, or preexposure prophylaxis, is a pill that, if taken once daily, can decrease the chance of contracting HIV by over 90 percent. The pilot program will contain funding for at least 320 uninsured individuals, budgeting $1,300 per individual annually, to pay for medical and lab costs associated with PrEP. The county plans to contract through local healthcare providers who already provide access to PrEP in order to make the drug available to the public. This program will also be coupled with a $15,000 education/marketing campaign to advertise PrEP services to at-risk individuals. A partners’ planning meeting held recently identified five top priorities for addressing Mecklenburg County’s HIV epidemic. These include: increasing access to PrEP for the uninsured/underinsured; expanding or enhancing programs that help individuals access affordable HIV treatment; increasing access to HIV screening in a community setting and/ or nontraditional hours; implementing a media campaign regarding HIV prevention, testing and treatment; and expanding patient navigation services for newly diagnosed individuals and individuals who have fallen out of care. info: meckpac.org. ncaan.org.

Eastern Church divided over choir director firing JACKSONVILLE, N.C. — Ryan Mould, a former children’s choir director at Trinity United Methodist Church, was fired from that position in October (see qnotes story for more details at goqnotes.com/56692). Since the firing incident, which has garnered national attention directed at Trinity, it has led to internal division as well. Mould was fired by the church as a result of his discussion about his sexual orientation with Rev. Steve Smith. The Christian Post reported that Methodist news service dispatches shared that some of the church members had left the congregation due to the situation and that the North Carolina church conference had stepped in to mediate between affected parties. The United Methodist News Service also reported that church members had resigned from committees, ceased teaching Sunday school or stopped taking on leadership roles at

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the church. One member and certified deacon candidate said that the church was “shaken to its core,” adding that she would “challenge Reverend Smith to present how Ryan has been nurtured after his abrupt firing and the public degradation he has been made to endure.” Another member, whose family left Trinity after the firing, sent an email to Bishop Hope Morgan Ward and The Rev. Linda Taylor, district superintendent for Sound District, stating that she found Smith’s “behavior as a Christian leader disturbing.” Reconciling United Methodists, as well as others, have thrown their support to Mould. It delivered over 2,000 signatures to Bishop Ward and the North Carolina Conference Cabinet in an open letter in support of Mould. Signatures are still being collected at bit.ly/2BDoEyg. info: rum.org.

Triad GBO nets top ranking

GREENSBORO, N.C. — The Human Rights Campaign has given the City of Greensboro the highest score in its Municipal Equality Index among all cities in North Carolina and South Carolina, the Guilford Green Foundation reported. Greensboro got perfect scores in three out of five categories: Municipal Services, Law Enforcement and Relationship with the LGBTQ Community. Greensboro scored points for the city leadership’s commitment to fully include the LGBTQ community and to advocate for full equality.

In other news, the foundation will host its Green Queen Bingo — Who Dunnit Bingo on Jan. 12, 6 p.m., at the Elm Street Center, 203 S. Elm St. The evening begins with cabaret at 6 p.m., hall door opening at 6:30 p.m. and game show starting at 7 p.m. Tickets are $15/advance, $20/at the door and $12/student with ID. info:guilfordgreenfoundation.org.

Triangle Duke student receives fellowship

DURHAM, N.C. — Duke University Law School student Kinjal Patel has received a two-year Skadden Fellowship to provide legal assistance to low-income LGBTQ and HIVaffected residents of Staten Island, N.Y., the Duke Law news center reported. She was one of 29 nationwide to receive this honor. Patel will join Staten Island Legal Services in offering representation to clients in areas like health-related legal issues, government benefits, name and gender-marker changes, housing, immigration, family law, and discrimination. Her work will include targeted outreach to low-income and vulnerable clients through information sessions at social service agencies and on-site legal clinics among other initiatives, Duke Law added. Prior to law school, Patel worked with domestic and violence victims and HIV-affected individuals. She has also held summer jobs as a legal intern, served in a leadership role with Duke Law’s Coalition Against Gender Violence

and as a volunteer at the Durham Crisis Response Center. info: law.duke.edu.

Western Black, queer-owned brewery opens

HENDERSONVILLE, N.C. — An AfricanAmerican queer woman has opened Black Star Line Brewing, located at 131 3rd Ave. W., and becomes the first one to do so in Western North Carolina. L.A. McCrae opened Black Star Line in midNovember with a vision “to build a movement that creates opportunities for marginalized, disenfranchised people in the Asheville area for empowerment and liberation through collective economics.” The entrepreneur has even opened her doors to organizations as a venue at which to champion and support the community and provide a safe space in which to do so. McCrae told The Citizen-Times that original brewers were African. “We’re going back to what our people, what people with melanin, like,” she shared. She also added, “Our brewery is a chance to change that narrative and create space for women, people of color, queer folks, and other folks with marginalized social identities. It is the spot that is truly for us and by us.” McCrae’s activist nature began in grade school where she staged a sit-in to demand equal pay for the lunch lady and custodian, as well as input on the menu from students. Her education took her to the University of Tennessee where she majored in African studies and politi-

news notes: u.s./world compiled by Lainey Millen :: qnotes staff

Miss Gay America pageant system has launched foundation NEW YORK, N.Y. — The Miss Gay America pageant coowners Michael Dutzerand and Rob Mansman have announced the launch of the Miss Gay America Excellence Foundation. “We are forming the MGA Excellence Foundation to mentor LGBTQ youth and work with youth centers to provide supportive, self-affirming, highly positive experiences,” Mansman said. “Most of the people in the Miss Gay America organization can relate to growing up being bullied or being different. We’ve all faced rejection and struggled to find ourselves,” Dutzer added. “As we tour the country for nearly two dozen preliminary state and regional pageants throughout the year, we want to reach out and offer support to youth centers in areas we visit in any way we can — from donations to fundraising to motivational personal appearances by our titleholders,” Mansman explained. “Eventually we would like to raise enough money to issue grants to youth organizations and provide scholarships,” he said. From its inception, Miss Gay America has always been far more than a competition, the organization shared. “It is a family.

Miss Gay America pageant owners and founders of the Miss Gay America Foundation, Rob Mansman (left) and Michael Dutzer made Lady Gaga (center) the first ever honorary Miss Gay America and contributed to her Born This Way Foundation.

Those participating are embraced by a strong sense of fellowship, support, and mentoring, often forming lifetime friendships, which for some, go back decades.” “For me, I was homeless, I had absolutely nothing and I didn’t have much family,” said Justin Natvig (a.k.a. Miss Gay North Carolina 2015 Vivian Vaughn). “I was craving structure, and I found that in the Miss Gay America system. They practically raised me. I never imagined that I’d be here looking at my life thinking whoa, you’ve changed yourself from a homeless teenager into a University of North Carolina grad, Miss Gay North Carolina America 2015, and now am making a difference and helping people. For that, I owe a huge debt of gratitude to this system.” Natvig not only works for an organization that ships humanitarian relief cargo around the world as his day job, but is chair of North Carolina’s Crape Myrtle Festival. For over 45 years, giving back has been a key tenet of the Miss Gay America pageant — even in early days, when gay money was considered tainted. Jerry Peek, who founded the Miss Gay America pageant in 1973, says that as much as he wanted to give, it was a different era. His initial--and subsequently only-attempt to give to the March of Dimes was rebuffed. Miss Gay America 2017 Suzy Wong will be directing the promotional efforts of the Excellence Foundation. She has worked with many LGBTQ organizations and allies, including #expresslove, Palm Springs Pride, the HRC, Save the Children, The Victory Fund and Time Out Youth.” Last summer, Dutzer and Mansman contributed $5,000 to Lady Gaga’s Born This Way Foundation — and made her the first ever honorary Miss Gay America. “Throughout LGBTQ history, drag queens have been at the heart of proactive LGBTQ culture, from politics to charity. One would be hard-pressed to find a fundraising event without a drag queen leading the charge. From beating volunteers out of the bushes to headlining major charity events, drag queens are the undeniable heroes of LGBTQ society,” the foundation said. info: mgaexcellencefoundation.org.

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cal science, afterward receiving her Masters’ from Wesley Theological Seminary, along with a post-graduate certificate from the Harvard Kennedy School of Government. info: blackstarlinebrewing.com. citizen-times.com.

Regional NCAAN nets Elton John grant

RALEIGH, N.C. — The North Carolina AIDS Action Network (NCAAN) has received a grant of $75,000 from the Elton John AIDS Foundation to support NCAAN’s advocacy work in 2018. The monies will be used to inform policy debates on HIV and HIV-related issues and reduce stigma and discrimination against people living with HIV/AIDS and communities most affected by HIV, especially gay and bisexual men, youth and communities of color. “We are thankful for the Elton John AIDS Foundation’s continued support of the important work we do in North Carolina,” said Lee Storrow, executive director of NCAAN. “Through their support, we will continue to invest in the leadership of individuals living with HIV and grow a strong and powerful movement.” “We are honored to support the NC AIDS Action Network’s work in 2018,” said Scott Campbell, executive director of the Elton John AIDS Foundation. “NCAAN has a long track record of advocacy success in North Carolina, and they are an important leader across the South when it comes to HIV treatment and prevention advocacy.” info: ncaan.org.

QUICK HITS ————————————————— Soulforce made available its “Across the Divide: A How-To for Having Tough Conversations with Conservative Evangelical Christians” guide in time for the holiday season. It is available for download online. info: soulforce.org. GLAAD released its second annual Spanish-language media report “Still Invisible,” which analyzed the LGBTQ characters in primetime scripted television airing in the U.S. between July 1, 2016 and June 30, 2017. info: glaad.org. Out & About Nashville has launched its sister publication, Out & About Puerto Vallarta, with the premiere issue rolling out in January 2018, Press Pass Q reported. Its website is now live. info: outandaboutpv.com. Southerners on New Ground have announced that they are hiring a development coordinator to support its Free From Fear campaigns, organizational structure and membership across the South. Applications are due on Jan. 31, 2018 via email to hiring@ southernersonnewground.org. The organization, marking its 25th anniversary in 2018, will hold its Queer South Revival 2018 from Feb. 22-25 in Highlands, N.C. Space is limited and preference will be given to active members and/or longer-term political family. info: southernersonewground.org. Annise Parker has become the leader of the Victory Fund and the Victory Institute. info: thedailybeast.com. More than 150 U.S. mayors, under the umbrella of Mayors Against LGBT Discrimination, have opposed religious exemptions that allow sexual orientation-based discrimination, the Philadelphia Inquirer reported. info: philly.com. A study by the Pew Research Foundation reports that gay men earn more than their straight coworkers. info: gaypopbuzz.com.

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life

2017 Year in Review

Charlotte LGBTQ organizations on the move Taking a look back at the work four of the largest orgs did in 2017, and looking ahead to the new year by Jeff Taylor :: qnotes staff CHARLOTTE, N.C. — 2017 has been a transformative year, for better and worse, in a number of ways, both locally and nationally. Charlotte’s LGBTQ organizations have weathered the storm of a tumultuous year politically and managed to do outstanding work in the face of adversity. Here is a look back at what four of the largest LGBTQ organizations in the region accomplished this year and a look ahead to what to expect from these groups come 2018. MeckPAC

November. Of 65 endorsed candidates, 45 of them won on Election Night. Matt Hirschy, interim executive director of ENC, noted in a press release that the organization endorsed more municipal candidates in 2017 than ever before in its history. He called the results “nothing but amazing” and predicted that “the wave of newly elected openly LGBTQ candidates will be vital in our efforts to keep the state moving forward.” “2017 will certainly be a year we won’t soon forget”, Hirschy told qnotes. “Knowing that our community still faces significant structural inequities, we’ll be launching exciting new intersectional programs in 2018 that will focus on proactively resourcing our community with the skills and tools we need to succeed in the future. Our members and supporters can expect Equality NC to continue to hold leaders accountable, and resource them with the tools they need to help us achieve full lived and legal equality. We invite everyone to join us as we invest in proactive movement building and work hard to get openly LGBTQ and allied elected officials into office.” ENC is also in the midst of searching for a new executive director, after former head Chris Sgro stepped down to take a position with the Human Rights Campaign in May.

Time Out Youth Center Time Out Youth Center (TOY) had a historic 2017, opening its newly purchased facilities at 3800 Monroe Rd. in east Charlotte in August. Pushed out of its former building in NoDa due to the rising MeckPAC also saw most of the candidates it endorsed win rents that come with gentrification, TOY managed to find a way their races in November, including Mayor Vi Lyles and all the to make the best of a bad situation. Charlotte City Council candidates the organization The organization’s new location, purchased got behind. at the end of 2016, is It also celebrated the fact that it had more than much larger, offering double the number of candidate responses than it it the opportunity to received in 2015 from Mecklenburg County town grow to its full pocandidates. tential. The building MeckPAC also announced a push for PrEP, or itself is 7,400 square pre-exposure prophylaxis, in Meckleburg County. feet and the property PrEP is a once-daily pill that can significantly deis large enough to crease the chances of contracting HIV. allow for expansion. While the county was initially resistant to fund“Staff sat down ing PrEP as part of a strategy to address the growand did the dream ing HIV epidemic in Charlotte and the surrounding list of what we were region, their efforts, alongside the North Carolina looking for,” TOY AIDS Action Network, convinced officials to act. Executive Director On Dec. 19, the Mecklenburg County Commission apRodney Tucker proved the use of $233,000 in contingency funds to impletold qnotes back in ment a PrEP pilot program to assist uninsured individuals at February, adding high risk for contracting the virus. that the new building It will serve at least 320 people, at $1,300 per person had provided almost annually. everything they were “MeckPAC and the North Carolina AIDS Action Network looking for even applaud the county commission’s intentional movement before the remodel. towards supporting uninsured, at-risk county residents,” The building they said in a joint statement. “We were also encouraged has also allowed to hear commissioners reference the need to develop a full, them to welcome in comprehensive plan to end new HIV/AIDS diagnoses in the ENC, in addition to county. We will hold them to their commitment to approve Time Out Youth Center Executive Director Rodney Transcend Charlotte, and implement a plan in 2018.” Tucker during construction of the new facility another local nonlocated at 3800 Monroe Rd.. in Charlotte, N.C. profit that serves the Equality North Carolina transgender community. Both have taken two offices each in the Equality North Carolina (ENC) celebrated a significant new space. Additionally, ENC is partnering with TOY to take its number of its endorsed candidates winning their elections this

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school outreach program statewide. TOY also plans to open a homeless shelter for LGBTQ youth in the coming years in a first for Charlotte. It will take 2018 as a planning year, looking at what the housing program should look like and what the true cost is likely to be, placing it in a better position to move forward. The plan was given a serious boost in February, in the form of a $1.5 million donation from the Gambrell Family Foundation. It is the largest donation the organization has ever received, and represents almost half of the $3.4 million it said it hoped to raise over the next five years in order to help pay for the renovations and open the shelter. The Howard R. Levine Foundation and Howard and Julie Levine also gave TOY a $100,000 matching grant to TOY’s capital campaign. Freedom Center for Social Justice The Freedom Center for Social Justice (FCSJ) can count many successes in its organizing work in 2017, both in Charlotte and beyond. The organization added over 100 new businesses to its Yes, You Can Go campaign, launched last year in response to House Bill 2 and its restrictive laws against transgender bathroom use. Businesses receive a packet including signage informing transgender people that they are welcome to use the facilities

matching their gender identity. Those interested in receiving materials, as well as training if requested, are encouraged to contact communications@fcsj.org or call 980-729-8454. Executive Director Tonyia Rawls was honored in Essence Magazine’s “Woke 100” list, recognizing “the women who are blazing trails for equal rights and inclusion for Black people in America,” alongside Michelle Obama, Rep. Maxine Waters, Amandla Stenberg and more. The organization also helped coordinate The Historic Thousands on Jones Street rally and march this year in Raleigh, where for the first time, transgender families were placed in a position of honor as a show of solidarity. It also helped organize the consecration of Rev. William Barber II, qnotes 2017 Person of the Year, as Bishop of Repairers of the Breach. Barber was consecrated by the LGBTQ-led College of Progressive Bishops. Additionally, FCSJ helped coordinate the kickoff event for the Poor People’s Campaign, also led by Barber. It will also once again return to the National LGBTQ Task Force Creating Change Conference in Washington, D.C., taking place from Jan. 24-28, 2018. This time the organization will be sponsoring five members of the LGBTQ community to join staff, and has asked those interested to send an email explaining why they wish to attend to info@fcsj.org. : :

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qnotes

2017 Year in Review

The most popular qnotes stories of 2017 Here are the stories that were the most trafficked of the year compiled by qnotes staff

he year 2017 is almost one for the history books and it has been full of ups and downs, and qnotes was there, reporting all along the way. Thanks to you, the readers, for coming along for the ride, reading the stories and supporting your local LGBTQ newspaper as always. Here are the top 10 most popular stories of the year based on web traffic. See you in 2018!

B “Charlotte City Council member announces boycott of new

restaurant over owner’s anti-LGBT views” — Published Dec. 1 Find it online at goqnotes.com/56133. Charlotte City Councilmember LaWana Mayfield shared on Twitter that “as an OUT Queer Person of Color” she would never patronize a new barbecue restaurant called Noble Smoke set to open in the district she represents. The owner, Jim Noble, signed on to a letter opposing the expanded non-discrimination ordinance granting LGBTQ rights. He also owns King’s Kitchen and Rooster’s in Charlotte and A Noble Grille in Winston-Salem.

C “Charlotte mayoral candidate wants voters to know she’s

white and opposes LGBTQ rights” — Published Sept. 1 Find it online at goqnotes.com/52847. A candidate in the Republican primary of the Charlotte may-

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oral race, Kimberley Paige Barnette, got herself into trouble for the suspect way she advertised herself on her Facebook page. “Vote for me!” her description read, “REPUBLICAN & SMART, WHITE, TRADITIONAL.” She also posted a status making it clear that she does not support LGBTQ rights. Barnette defended herself in an email to qnotes where she said she was not prejudiced and that she doesn’t judge people, adding that she has “traditional conservative views.”

D “Derricka Banner killed in Charlotte, becomes 20th

transgender person murdered in 2017” — Published Sept. 14 Find it online at goqnotes.com/53218. Derricka Banner, 26, was shot and killed inside a vehicle on the morning of Sept. 12, becoming the latest victim of violence in a year that has been the deadliest on record for transgender people in the U.S. An 18-year-old man was arrested and charged for her death.

E “Nazis, fearing for their safety, cancel hate rally

in Charlotte” — Published Sept. 28 Find it online at goqnotes.com/53612. Neo-Nazis and white supremacists planned to descend on Charlotte in a rally similar to the one that ended in violence and death in Charlottesville. Turns out, the tough -alking racists were

too afraid to make an appearance once it became clear that they might not be safe, even with police protection.

F “In response to City Council member avoiding his restau-

rants, Noble says homosexuality is a sin” — Published Dec. 7 Find it online at goqnotes.com/56484. Jim Noble responded to Councilmember Mayfield’s personal boycott of his establishments, which she clarified she had not asked anyone else to join, and made matters worse. He said he was against transgender people using bathrooms matching their gender identity because he fears for the safety of children, a common fearmongering talking point among conservatives, and added that he views homosexuality as a sin. “I have to go by what the Bible says to determine what is or what isn’t sin,” he added.

G “The ghost of Freddie Mercury slams North Carolina in

Netflix’s ‘Big Mouth’” — Published Oct. 1 Find it online at goqnotes.com/54101. In an episode of the Netflix’s series “Big Mouth,” one of the main characters begins to questions his sexual orientation. The ghost of Freddie Mercury shows up to lift his spirits, alongside “famous deceased homosexuals” Socrates and homophobic Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, whom the show portrays

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life

every minute of it, judging by her social media posts. DeLaria, who was in town for a Disney press junket for “Cars 3,” appeared to have spent most of her time in NoDa and Plaza-Midwood. Those neighborhoods just happen to be in the most LGBTQ-populated zip code in all of the Carolinas, and the self-described “professional lesbian” shared photos of herself at The Thirsty Beaver, Rat’s Nest and Midwood Smokehouse. Come back anytime, Lea!

I “Charlotte mayoral candidate Constance Partee Johnson goes after Roberts, the media and

Hindus after loss” — Published Sept. 13 Find it online at goqnotes.com/53162. Another case of a Charlotte mayoral candidate behaving badly makes the top 10 this year, and this time the primary loser is on the other side of the aisle. Constance Partee Johnson took to Facebook to claim “Hindus and Confederates throw people out of their homes because of race, income, and skin color, Christians don’t,” and claimed then-Mayor Jennifer Roberts and the media fixed the race against her. Johnson also reacted poorly after losing a bid to join the Salisbury City Council in 2015. She claimed a “little Jewish candidate tried to lower my power by offering me some cash to pretend to be my sugar daddy.”

J “Councilmember Braxton Winston livestreams public forum since the city now refuses

to itself” — Published Dec. 11 Find it online at goqnotes.com/56578. The Charlotte City Council voted to stop televising the public comment portion of its meetings after a contentious forum following the police shooting death of Keith Lamont Scott. Newly elected at-large Councilmember Braxton Winston is in favor of bringing the cameras back, and made a point by livestreaming the public forum from the dais at the Dec. 11 City Council Meeting. Council is set to revisit the issue on Jan. 8.

as having been closeted in life. They launch into a musical number all about the joys of being gay. “When you’re gay, every day is a nonstop cabaret,” ghost Freddie sings. “You’ve got style and flair, you’re loved everywhere, except for North Carolina.” Ouch.

H “Guess what ‘Orange Is The New Black’ star is in Charlotte and loving it’” —

Published Oct. 1 Find it online at goqnotes.com/54093. “Orange Is The New Black” star Lea DeLaria was in the Queen City this year and she was loving

K “Can a building once meant to launch East Charlotte into the future be revitalized?” —

Published May 5 Find it online at goqnotes.com/50489. A building that sits along Independence Blvd. is now little more than an eyesore, left unoccupied for years. It collects graffiti and trash on the outside, but inside is a secret waiting to be revitalized for a new generation. The Varnardore Building was hailed for its technological achievements when it was erected in 1962. The building’s developer, Charles Ervin, took inspiration from Walt Disney, whom he knew personally, in designing it. A new plan is underway to reopen it, with a host of new businesses waiting to open their doors, including retail stores, restaurants, a workspace, a business incubator, a boutique hotel and more. : :

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qnotes

Barber - POY 2017 continued from page 4 A history of uniting communities, including centering the LGBTQ community This year at the HKonJ march and rally in Raleigh, a demonstration of more than 125 North Carolina NAACP branches, as well as over 200 other social justice organizations, transgender families were given a special spot of honor for the first time in its history. Barber understands that the only way progress can be made is if everyone can come

qnotes

together from various communities to fight for their common interests, and to take back the narrative. He knows that without those two key factors, unity and controlling the message, there can be no long-term success for progressive movements. Barber said that during his tour of the country, where he speaks as an invited guest before diverse crowds, that it was clear that there is “a big hunger for a reframing of issues like systemic racism, systemic poverty, ecological devastation, and the war economy, and challenging the distorted immoral narrative of

Dec. 29 . 2017 - Jan. 12 . 2018

so-called white nationalism and white evangelicalism, as not just being Democrat versus Republican, or liberal versus conservative, but as being moral issues that were really about what is right versus wrong.” “There is a great hunger out there to see that we are in a moral crisis,” he continued. “Anytime people can pass voter suppression laws and claim that they’re protecting the vote, we are in a moral crisis. “Anytime people will try to take healthcare from people, the very people who get free healthcare because they get elected to office and then turn around and try to take it from the people who elected them, that’s a moral crisis. “When Southern senators and legislators who come from the poorest states will back policies that hurt poor people; will back tax bills that hurt poor people, the working poor people, and they come from the poorest states, where the majority of the poor people are white, yet they get elected through racialized voter suppression, and then use the power they receive that way to pass policies that will hurt mostly poor white people. And then attempt to fool those poor white people that they are on their side by wedge issues, like being anti-gay, and anti-abortion and pro-prayer in schools. “We are in a serious moral crisis.” As always, Barber continues to remind that it will take connecting people from all walks of life, “walking forward together for any of us to move forward and arrive in a place of progress.”

This is a lesson “we keep relearning,” and a truth that those who wish to keep the tide from turning work to suppress. “The Civil Rights Movement was not just a black movement,” Barber reminded. “It was black, it was white, it was young, it was old, it was gay, it was straight, it was people of different faiths and people not of faith. So, we can never forget that, and we have to understand that the dividers wouldn’t work so hard to divide us if unity was so weak, if intersectionality was so weak.” Barber points to the recent tax bill, passed by the Republicans, as an example of how one can see what he calls “interlocking injustices” at work. “Look at the people who were standing around the president,” he said. “Look at the people who were standing around [Sen. Majority Leader Mitch] McConnell and [House Speaker] Paul Ryan. Those same people are anti the gay community. They’re anti-environmental protection. They’re anti-voting rights. They are against living wages. They are against healthcare. They stand together. “At some point, we have to recognize that we have these common extremist adversaries that we need to challenge together. And maybe in challenging them together, sometimes you may win some of them over.” Rev. Barber encourages those interested in getting involved in the lead up to the launch of the Poor People’s Campaign to visit poorpeoples campaign.org, where visitors can learn more as well as sign up to take part in future actions. : :

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life

2017 Year in Review

Notable figures who came out in 2017 Across the spectrum of life, faces emerge on the LGBTQ scene by Torie Dominguez :: guest contributor

his past year, more personalities stepped out into the light and professed their sexual orientation. From pop stars to athletes, the rainbow got a little bit larger with them included. Here are some of those faces in the news.

Aaron Carter

Onetime child pop sensation Carter, who ruled the airwaves at age 12 with his hit single “I Want Candy” (2000), came out as bisexual in an emotional Twitter post in August. After living with his sexuality “weighing on my chest for nearly half of my life,” he wrote, having spoken openly he is now “really looking forward to the future.” Alia Shawkat The 28-year-old actress, best known as droll rebel Maeby Funke in cult favorite “Arrested Development,” has come a long way since her portrayal of an adolescent in love with her own cousin. Shawkat discussed gender, sexuality and gravitating toward queer roles with Out magazine, saying: “Now I consider myself bisexual, and I think balancing my male and female energies has been a big part of me growing as an actor.”

Barry Manilow Music legend Manilow, whose sexuality has long been the subject of speculation, confirmed in a People magazine interview that he was gay — and had been in a relationship with manager and now-husband Garry Kief since the late 1970s. Despite previous fears that he “would be disappointing them” by coming out, he describes fans’ reactions to the news as “so beautiful.” Cody Alan

A popular host on both Country Music Television and CMT Radio, 44-year-old Alan shared on Facebook that he could no longer “live with this layer of misery underneath that happy face on TV.” Though his coming out as gay may run counter to the conservative image of his business, the presenter later commented to People magazine that “country music is so diverse and perhaps the most supportive music industry that exists.”

Daniel Newman The emerging star of AMC’s “The Walking Dead” discussed his sexuality in a post on YouTube before further addressing the topic in a People interview. Newman, 36, says he wants to take advantage of the “huge platform” he has been given through his role on the cable TV phenomenon. Despite his conservative upbringing, the actor asserts, “I’m proud of who I am.” Natalie Morales

In a lengthy essay published on Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls website, the “Parks and Recreation” star related her emotional journey from a Catholic schoolgirl who “thought something was really wrong with [her]” to a popular actress diligent about guarding her privacy — with the exception of the trait of which she was once so ashamed. “I don’t like labeling myself, or anyone else,” she says, “but if it’s easier to understand me, what I’m saying is that I’m queer.” Morales writes that she feels an obligation to speak in the face of anti-LGBTQ violence around the world: “Things are still pretty bad out there for people like me.”

Ryan O’Callaghan The former New England Patriots and Kansas City Chiefs offensive tackle got candid with Outsports, describing a youth and young adulthood using football as “a great place to hide” his orientation. O’Callaghan discussed wrestling with his knowledge of himself as a gay man, an ordeal that eventually led him to plan his suicide. But counseling gave him the courage to share his secret, first with a close friend who confronted him about his self-destructive behavior, and eventually with the world. Where the dread of being outed once dominated his life, O’Callaghan says, he now takes his identity for granted: “It rarely crosses my mind.” Shannon Purser

“Stranger Things” doomed BFF Barb and recurring “Riverdale” guest star Purser shared in a series of Twitter posts that she has recently come out as bisexual to those close to her, and that she is “still processing and trying to understand.” The 19-year-old spoke of her ongoing struggle to reconcile her sexuality with her Christian faith, revealing that coming to terms with this new aspect of her identity “can be really scary.”

Thomas Dekker “Heroes” star Dekker, who also costarred in 2016 gay romantic drama “Do You Take This Man,” took to Instagram to confirm his sexuality after being obliquely outed by writerproducer Bryan Fuller. “While it is an odd situation, I thank him,” Dekker writes, “because it presents a prime opportunity for me to publicly say that I am indeed a man who proudly loves other men. In fact, this April I married my husband and I could not be happier.” : : Photo Credits: Aaron Carter, ‘The Drs’ Screenshot, YouTube; Alia Shawkat, SXSW 2016, CC License; Barry Manilow, slgckgc via Flickr. CC License; Cody Alan, CMTs ‘After Midnight’ Promo Shot; Daniel Newman, ‘The Walking Dead’ Promot, AMC via IMDb; Natalie Morales, vagueonthehow via Wikimedia. CC 2.0 License; Ryan O’Callaghan, jeffreybeall via Wikipedia. CC SA3.0 License; Shannon Purser, Gage Skidmore via Wikipedia. CC BY-SA 3.0 License; and Thomas Dekker, vagueonthehow via Wikimedia. CC 2.0 License

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life

2017 Year in Review

Queer Music in 2017 Some of the best bops, jams, and bangers of the great year for music by Jerry Yelton :: qnotes contributor

n 2017, a lot of the focus was on the news of the day, whatever was happening in Washington or the infinite struggles facing the queer community worldwide in places like Chechnya. Some days, it felt overwhelming to deal with the deluge of bad news lighting up your screen every few minutes.

One of the few highlights of the year was how great music was across genres. Particularly for queer and allied artists, music in 2017 was an act of resistance. The songs in this playlist are by and for queer people, expressing identity, love, struggle and desire. As a year like this one comes to a close, give a listen to some of the best things that flourished in a dark year.

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Artist Song Shea Couleé “Feeling So” Kim Petras “I Don’t Want It At All” Blame the Youth “Galaxy” Kehlani “Honey” Mary Lambert “Lay Your Head Down” Tash Sultana “Gemini” Hayley Kiyoko “Feelings” Brockhampton “Queer” Against Me! “First High of the Morning” Frank Ocean “Chanel” Halsey & “ Strangers” Lauren Jauregui Scissor Sisters “Swerlk“ & MDNR MUNA “I Know a Place” (MNEK Remix) Wrabel “The Village” Ah-Mer-Ah-Su “Meg Ryan” Leland “Mattress” Adore Delano “Pretty Boys Cry” Kelala “LMK” To listen to the playlist, visit spoti.fi/2pawXQg.

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Dec. 29 . 2017 - Jan. 12 . 2018

daily news, features and lgbtq community event listings

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Legal Eagles

Open and closed adoptions in North Carolina Making decisions on how to best approach becoming a child’s legal parent by Sodoma Law :: guest contributors

favorite holiday family movie is “Elf,” starring Will Ferrell, as Buddy, and Bob Newhart, as Papa Elf. Buddy is an orphaned human infant who stows away in Santa’s sack. Then, when he is discovered at the North Pole, he is adopted by Papa Elf and raised at the North Pole. Buddy grows up at the North Pole believing he is an elf, but something just isn’t quite right. He feels out of place, and even refers to himself as a “cotton-headed ninny-muggins.” Then he accidentally learns that he is human and is actually adopted. Although, movie watchers have known all along he’s not an elf, he’s 6’3”! But, for Buddy this is a new revelation and he undertakes a quest to find his biological father in New York City where chaos ensues. Buddy had the advantage of knowing the identity of his biological father because he was on Santa’s “Naughty” list. However, it is not always that simple for adopted children searching for their birth parents, particularly in North Carolina. Adoption records are sealed in North Carolina For many LGBTQ couples, adoption is a path to parenthood. However, in North Carolina, adoption records are sealed, by statute, at the time the adoption is finalized and remain closed to the public.[1] The only time they may be opened is by a court order. Non-identifying information, such as health information provided by a birth parent at the time of adoption, and identifying information, such as the original birth certificate, may be requested by an adoptee’s parents or an adoptee who is an adult at the time of the request. The individual must first file a motion with the Clerk of Superior Court of the original jurisdiction, the county in which the adoption proceeding was filed, to have the adoptee’s record opened. The court then considers the reason the information is sought, the age, maturity and expressed needs of the adoptee, and whether the birth parents are still living, among other deciding factors. Even then, any non-identifying information provided to the adoptee as a result of a

court order is still edited to exclude the name, address or other information that could lead directly to the identity of the parent, or other member of the adoptee’s original family. If an adopted child wants to obtain identifying information such as the birth parents’ names, they must go through a North Carolina licensed adoption agency that agrees to act as a “confidential intermediary.” In Charlotte, the Mecklenburg County Department of Social Services may also act as a confidential intermediary. If the biological parent is living at the time the adopted child makes the request, they must provide written consent to the confidential intermediary before any information is released to the adopted child and vice versa. Originally, these legal processes were established by the North Carolina General Assembly to protect adoptees and birth parents from finding out identifying information inadvertently. To quote Buddy the Elf, however, for many adopted children seeking information about their biological parents it may feel like passing “through the seven levels of the Candy Cane forest, through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops, and then the Lincoln Tunnel” to obtain the information. Open and closed adoptions in North Carolina Opening a sealed court record may not be necessary if the parties chose to have an open adoption. Having an “open” adoption means that adoptive parents know the name of the biological mother and vice versa, and locations of residence. It could also mean having communication between the adoptive parents and biological mother and/or biological father before and/or after the adoption. The extent and duration of the communication is completely up to the individual parties. This does not necessarily mean that a birth parent is a visible, ongoing presence in the life of an adopted child. Today, the typical adoption in the U.S. involves some degree of openness. They are what we call “semi-open” adoptions. The communication, if any, is handled through an agency or an adoption facilitator and no identifying information

is exchanged between the parties. The birth cal parents without the assistance of the court. parents may receive pictures and updates on Services such as Ancestry.com, 23andMe, how the child is doing through the agency, and DNAadoption.com and organizations such as the birth parents may forward letters, pictures, Touched by Adoption, Inc. offer DNA testing cards or gifts through the agency. designed specifically to assist adoptees in their The main difference between a semi-open search for their birth parents and blood relaadoption and a closed adoption is that in a tives. These registries span the globe and can closed adoption in North Carolina, no inforeven assist children adopted internationally. It mation is shared and there is no contact or is important to note that there are many privacy communication between the biological parents and genetic marker issues involved in using one and adoptive parents. Most of these adoptions of these DNA registries, and they require the are handled through adoption agencies and physical and legal custody of the child is transferred to the agency after the child’s birth. The agency then transfers physical custody of the child to the adoptive parents, and legal custody is awarded upon finalization of the adoption. There is no North Carolina law preventing biological parents LGBTQ couples should gain the expertise of an attorney who handles family from maintaining some form of contact and adoption law when they want to begin a process of adopting a child. Photo Credit: Adam Gregor via Adobe Stock with an adopted child. The adoptive parent and biological other parent and/or blood relatives to have regparents may agree to the extent and duration istered with the same registry to be effective. of the contact either verbally or in writing, but An experienced adoption attorney can help the “contract” is not enforceable by a North both biological parents and adoptive parents Carolina court, nor may it be used to get a decide on the best type of adoption for their fuparty to consent to an adoption. ture needs prior to the adoption. Your attorney can explain the advantages and disadvantages Closed adoptions may no of open, semi-open and closed adoptions in the longer be private future for the child as well. With the advent of DNA registries, confidenIf you have questions about adoptions in tial, or “closed” adoptions may be a thing of North Carolina, contact Sodoma Law at atthe past.[2] Some people who register with DNA torney@sodomalaw.com. : : [1] databases are looking for information about North Carolina General Statutes § 48-9-102 et seq. their ethnic origins or exploring branches of [2] “DNA’s new ‘miracle’: How adoptees are using their family tree. These databases, however, online registries to find their blood relatives,” Tara Bahrampour, Washington Post, Oct. 12, 2016. have become a way for adoptees to find biologi-

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qnotes

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tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor :: trinity@telltrinity.com

Can straight men cheat with other straight men? Dear Trinity, I’ve been married for seven years and do not have sex with my wife. I recently met a guy who is having the same experience. Is it wrong if we have sex with each other when both of us are not getting pleasure from our wives? Just For Sex, Bombay, Marrakech Dear Just For Sex, Question: “If two heterosexual men have sex with each other purely for sex, then are they cheating on their wives as if they were cheating with another woman?” Answer: Yes, they’re absolutely cheating! But if you must have sex with someone other than your wife, this may be a happy/gay alternative. In some African tribes, every nine months the women send the men off to the woods to have sex with each other. When the men return they are kinder to each other and to their spouses. So never forget your responsibilities at home, and, sweetie, send me the video! Hey Trinity, I borrowed something from my roommate and broke it. He doesn’t know I borrowed it, and I feel guilty. I don’t have the money to replace it either. Help! A Borrowed Failure, Philadelphia, PA

qnotes

Hey A Borrowed Failure, It’s so typical not to admit a mistake especially if there are financial consequences. I’ve done it, we all do it and courthouses are filled with guilty people who also do it. Now moving forward, why not come clean with what you did and offer to make a payment plan (only after getting him a little drunk)? Listen, baby, if you ask any successful businessperson what they do when they make a mistake, they’ll tell you they admit it and deal with the consequences…well, most of the time! (When you take a look at my cartoon you can sure see how this can make one dizzy and confused and wanting and/or needing to make a decison.) Hello Trinity, It seems like after the first night of sex or the first big fight whoever I’m dating just stops being interested. Either I’m dating than alone or just alone trying to find a date. This dating thing never seems to work out. I’m ready to give up. Tired O’the Game, Des Moines, IA Hello Tired O’the Game, You’re right! Dating is painful, awful and not worth it. Giving up, not trying, not taking chances and not living life is surely a possibility for some, but rethinking, reworking and reinventing

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a&e

the situation and yourself works wonders for Lady Gaga and the rest of us, who “Never, never, never give up,” a quote from Winston Churchill. This means erasing your negative head voice about everything that’s wrong with dating after each scenario or situation concludes and try, try again…but differently. Remember, pumpkin, when you stop trying you start dying and the dying process is way more uncomfortable than dating. Dearest Trinity, A friend of a friend told me that you had dinner with Margaret Cho. Well what was she like? Cho Fan, Provincetown, MA Dearest Cho Fan, Yup, I dined with the “Notorious Cho.” She was very polite and kind. Actually, honey, I learned so much that I decided to write: What Trinity Learned From Dining Out With Margaret Cho 1. Always be nice to anyone who says hello. 2. Stop and take pictures with anyone who asks for a picture with you. 3. When you have to change your plans give plenty of warning. 4. W hen the waiter gets star struck don’t say anything to hurt his or her feelings, just be polite! 5. I f the chef sends over a complimentary piece of cake, at least eat a bite even if you don’t want to.

6. And you don’t have to eat everything you ordered. 7. W ork hard and enjoy your life in between shows! 8. Talking about “pussy” is better done on stage. 9. Say “yes” as often as you can! 10. Lastly, always stop to appreciate drag queens, for they are the core of many wonderful things. info: With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama performed globally, and is now minister of sponsor, WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, wigministries.org. Learn more at telltrinity.com.

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from the Rx pad……

by Rx Clinic Pharmacy, a comprehensive onsite service of Ballantyne Family Medicine

Pneumonia Awareness Tips to Get You Through the Winter Season Keith Yon, Doctor of Pharmacy Candidate Recently, we published an article on the flu and the importance of getting the flu shot and being mindful of other preventative measures. With that being said, we wanted to take some time to highlight how you can avoid another preventable, serious infection: pneumonia. Pneumonia is an infection of the lungs that can cause mild to severe illness in people of all ages. However, adults aged 65 and older, people who have chronic medical conditions like asthma, diabetes, or heart disease, and people who smoke cigarettes have a higher risk of getting pneumonia. There are more than 30 different causes, but pneumonia is commonly a complication of a respiratory infection — especially the flu. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), approximately 1 million people have to seek care in a hospital due to pneumonia each year in the United States, of which, unfortunately, about 50,000 die. The pathogens that cause pneumonia are spread in a similar manner to the flu, in secretions from coughing and sneezing that reach others through close personal contact. Fortunately, as with the flu, vaccinations have been developed to arm your immune system against the most common causes of pneumonia. The CDC recommends that children under the age of 5 and adults over the

age of 65 get one dose of the pneumococcal conjugated vaccine (PCV13, Prevnar), and then one dose of the pneumococcal polysaccharide vaccine (PPSV23, Pneumovax) one year afterward. If you have certain medical conditions, such as diabetes, a chronic heart or lung disease, or HIV, the CDC recommends that you get vaccinated an additional time in between. For more information, speak with your local pharmacist. Listed below are some other preventative measures you can take to decrease your risk of getting pneumonia: • Wash your hands regularly, as discussed in our previous article on the importance of proper handwashing. • Clean surfaces that are touched frequently, including those in your kitchen and bathroom, shared spaces at work such as doorknobs, and even your cell phone. • Avoid sharing cups and eating utensils with others.

• Stop smoking, because tobacco damages your lungs’ ability to fight off infection and smokers have been found to be at higher risk of getting pneumonia. • Good health habits, including eating a healthy diet, getting an adequate amount of rest every night, and performing regular exercise, can help you from getting sick from viruses and respiratory illnesses; they also help promote fast recovery when you do get sick. Common signs of pneumonia include cough, fever, chills, chest pain, and difficulty breathing. If you experience any of these, it is highly recommended that you seek medical attention; early diagnosis and treatment are important! Hopefully this information has been a helpful guide to Photo Credit: rob3000 via Adobe Stock pneumonia. Any questions can be directed to your local pharmacist. Happy holidays!

Dec. 29 . 2017 - Jan. 12 . 2018

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EVENTS

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December-February 2017 New Year’s Eve at SEP DEC MO Boulevard 1820 Boulevard 1820 1820 South Blvd., #106, Charlotte 8:30 p.m. Kick off the New Year’s Eve celebrations early with Boulevard 1820. Enjoy drag and dinner and still have time left to go to another bar, club or friend’s house. Drag queens Buff Faye, Lilli Frost and Tia Douglas will perform. More information is available online. boulevard1820.net. –––––––––––––––––––– New Year’s Eve at The Bar at 316 The Bar at 316 316 Rensselaer Ave., Charlotte 11 p.m. Ring in the New Year with the folks at The Bar at 316. Drag queens Buff Faye, Lilli Frost and Tia Douglas will perform. There will be a champagne toast and ball drop at midnight. More information is available online. bar316.com.

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Continues through Jan. 6 SEP JAN MO ‘Vivaldi Four Seasons’ Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Violinist Aisslinn Nosky will perform Antonio Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons,” a musical celebration of the spirit of each season. Nosky is also the conductor of the Charlotte Symphony. Tickets start at $19. More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

You can submit your event to our comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at goqnotes.com/eventsubmit/ and get a threefor-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (goqnotes.com), Charlotte LGBT Chamber of Commerce (clgbtcc.org) and Visit Gay Charlotte (visitgaycharlotte.com).

15th Legacy of Black Women Film Showcase McGlohon Theatre at Spirit Square 345 N. College St., Charlotte 7 p.m. The Deltas of Charlotte Foundation presents the 15th Annual Legacy of Black Women Film Showcase. Short films written, produced, directed by and/or featuring black women will be featured as always. This year, there will also be a student competition featuring the works of high school and college students. There will be a pre-film reception starting at 6 p.m. Tickets are $25 in advance, $35 at the door and $15 for students. More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

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Henry Rollins – SEP JAN MO Travel Sideshow McGlohon Theatre at Spirit Square 345 N. College St., Charlotte 7:30 p.m. Henry Rollins has spent the better part of his life on the road, first as a member of bands Black Flag and Rollins Band, and in recent years on solo travels where he has documented his travels with his camera. Rollins brings his new storytelling show to Charlotte, where his photographs from around the globe form the backdrop for his tales of adventure. Tickets start at $19.50. More information and tickets are available online. blumenthalarts.org.

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Continues through Jan. 28 SEP JAN MO ‘The Phantom of the Opera’ Belk Theater at Blumenthal Performing Arts Center 130 N. Tryon St., Charlotte One of the world’s most beloved and well known musicals, “The Phantom of the Opera,” returns to Charlotte as part of a brand new North American Tour. See why critics are praising Cameron Mackintosh’s new production of the Andrew Lloyd Webber classic. The production, overseen by Matthew Bourne and Mackintosh, features exciting special effects, and the famous score, with songs like “Music of the Night,” “All I Ask Of You,” and “Masquerade,” performed by a cast and orchestra of 52. Tickets begin at $25. More information and tickets are available online blumenthalarts.org.

To see more upcoming events, visit goqnotes.com/calendar/

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Dec. 29 . 2017 - Jan. 12 . 2018

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They Might Be Giants SEP JAN MO Neighborhood Theatre 511 E. 36th St., Charlotte 7 p.m. Together for over 30 years, They Might Be Giants rolls into town in support of its new album “I Like Fun.” With well over a dozen studio albums, expect plenty of old hits mixed in with the new tunes. Tickets are $25 in advance and $28 on the day of the show. The group will also visit venues in Carborro, Asheville and Charleston. More information and tickets are available online. neighorhoodtheatre.com.

United We Laugh The Comedy Zone 900 NC Music Factory, Suite B3, Charlotte 7-10 p.m. Join people of all backgrounds at The Comedy Zone for a night of laughter and community, featuring headliner Will Jacobs and a special surprise guest. Tickets cost $20 in advance and $25 at the door. Proceeds will go towards the work of local nonprofit organization Queen City Unity, a group that works to drive diversity and inclusion in the City of Charlotte. More information and tickets are available online. cltcomedyzone.com.

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‘Eddie Izzard: Believe Me’ SEP FEB MO The Carolina Theatre of Durham 309 W. Morgan St., Durham Stonewall Kickoff Social 8 p.m. SEP JAN MO Boulevard 1820 Comedian, actor and activist Eddie 1820 South Blvd., #106, Izzard, who came out as transgender Charlotte this year, 7-10 p.m. performs a Join the crew from Stonewall Sports show with the for a kickoff to the new year. Stonewall same name and Sports offers organized, team athletics themes of his for the LGBTQ community, and if you’re new memoir, interested in getting involved this is a which is his first great place to start. This is a free event book. In it, he and more information is available online. reflects on losfacebook.com/events/859968277510016. ing his mother as a child, going to boarding school, a life in the arts and self-discovery. Tickets start at $45. More information and tickets are available online. carolinatheatre.org.

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life

health and wellness by Jack Kirven :: personal trainer, qnotes contributor

Innercise: Dispelling the dark with full spectrum bulbs

s I write this, we’re heading into Christmas and New Years Eve. Today is the Winter Solstice (the longest night of the year), which means that going forward each day will be getting seven minutes longer until we finally arrive at the Summer Solstice (the longest day of the year). With all that in mind, you’d think that winter would be a cozy time of year as the light gradually returns during all the parties. However, for some people winter can trigger a form of depression called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Photo Credit: RFBSIP via Adobe Stock

Speaking from personal experience, winter starts to feel very long after the holidays. The parties have ended, and all that remains is the grotesque weather. It seems the worst conditions come in February, or even March (in between the cheerful Christmas and Easter festivals). I think that may be part of the reason SAD hits me, despite the days getting longer. It doesn’t feel like they are. It gets colder and nastier, and there aren’t any holidays to distract from the deteriorating patterns. It doesn’t help that everything looks dead. I’ve made it a life habit to keep a single item from each relationship after it ends. Generally it’s a practical item. What did I keep from my last boyfriend? The full spectrum light bulbs he gave me to help stave off the winter gloom. I don’t need them throughout the year, so they still have lots of life in them. But what are full spectrum bulbs, and why do they help? As the name implies, full spectrum bulbs emit colors that bridge the entire range of visible light. All the colors of the rainbow blend together to create a very nice white that doesn’t push over into being harsh. It emulates daylight. And why should that help? In a previous article I wrote about sleep hygiene. In it I mentioned that it’s important to keep blue light sources out of your bedroom, because blue wavelengths of light interrupt sleep patterns (goqnotes.com/50029). Blue light causes melatonin to break down in the brain. The rising sun reveals blue light, so this is the way our bodies are triggered to wake up for the day. The absence of blue light moving toward dusk and into night allows melatonin to build up, and this creates the drowsiness that lets you fall asleep when it’s dark. The full spectrum of light is diminished during the winter, and this is one of the reasons you might feel sluggish during this season.

So then, if you’re trying to stay down to sleep, you do not want blue light in the bedroom. However, if you remain feeling down while you’re awake, adding blue light can help (provided that it’s part of a full spectrum light source). This is where these bulbs help: They dissolve the mental and emotional cobwebs that come with SAD. By simply spending a few minutes each day in the presence of full spectrum light, you rid yourself of the substances that depress your system for sleep. This type of light feels like a thunderbolt of joy the first time you see it each day. When I feel anxious, depressed, sad, angry, sleepy or lethargic, I simply turn on the lamp. It’s like being hit with a blast of summer wind, caffeine and puppy kisses. Instantly I feel warm, energetic, alert and happy. It will often make me smile spontaneously. I cannot recommend this type of “therapy” enough. Although there are specialized lamps that treat SAD, you can get the same effect by putting full spectrum bulbs into light fixtures that you already have. Something to keep in mind is that some full spectrum bulbs shine very hot, and use an extraordinary amount of energy compared to low energy bulbs. Shop around to find the combination of features that works best for you, but confirm that what you buy states very specifically that it is a bulb that emulates full sunlight. : : info: Jack Kirven completed the MFA in Dance at UCLA, and earned certification as a personal trainer through NASM. His wellness philosophy is founded upon integrated lifestyles as opposed to isolated workouts. Visit him at jackkirven.com and INTEGRE8Twellness.com.

Dec. 29 . 2017 - Jan. 12 . 2018

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Dec. 29 . 2017 - Jan. 12 . 2018