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The Gstaad Palace Hotel; the Omicron variant (inset).
GSTAAD—It is hard to imagine we have reached the year 2022 and still impose completely irrelevant restrictions on each other. By “we” I mean those of us in the supposedly enlightened West, where silliness, jealousy, cruelty, and wokeness rule the roost. I’ll begin with the Chinese virus that has contrived to dominate the headlines even more than Boris Johnson and Meghan Markle put together. I got Covid following my Christmas party (which was a great success if one is to believe some of the thank-you notes 62 QUEST
I received). All I can say is that it’s not true that chastity is sexually alluring, for if it were, women would go for newly ordained priests who take their vows seriously, rather than elderly swine of men. I obviously snogged the wrong girl because the day after the party the legs were not moving nor was the brain. Then came the inability to breathe in the middle of the night. It actually felt like curtains—no doctor will visit or even answer the telephone in the Bagel—but then I gave the middle finger to the man in the white suit
and told him to go reproduce himself. I spoke to the wife in Switzerland, who was eager to fly over but I forbade it. Two days and nights of hell and then it was all over. Let’s face the facts: Omicron is no big deal. The media, always desperate to panic gullible souls and spread fear, began the countdown to Armageddon and it’s still counting. Actually, Omicron deftly evades antibodies, which are part of the body’s first defenders, but that is Omicron’s only strength. Ironically, those who have been vaccinated, as I
COURTESY OF GSTA AD PAL ACE HOTEL; JESSIC A MONAHAN; PATRICK MCMULL AN
OMICHRONICLE
