Thank you to the many talented writers, artists and photographers who are featured in this zine. Thank you to those who will read through every page and feel inspired the way I did when I read my first zine. Kyle and I encouraged all of the artists and writers who contributed to this zine to think deeper and push themselves, and that’s what we hope the readers will do too. -Kristen
Co-Editors-In-Chief
Kyle Liang & Kristen Riello
Advisor
Lila Carney Zine design by Kristen Riello Cover art by Hector Ogando Copy edited by Caroline Millin 2 Montage Fall Zine
Blackout poem by Kyle Liang 3
Desolate Banshee 4 Montage Fall Zine
Digital art by Ian Berkey
Awake A door opened and jerked me awake from my sleep. It was the first time I was able to fall asleep and now it was taken away from me like everything else in my life. The sound of footsteps across the bedroom floor kept me still and my eyes closed shut. I didn’t want them to know I was awake and have been awake for the last weeks. Whether it was from the tears wetting my cheeks or the pain in my head keeping me from entering my dreams. The fear of them knowing that I was unhappy is what keeps me going. I might have been dreading the sunrise every morning since I’ve gotten here, but them having that knowledge would make it worse. There is nothing I hate more than smiles on lips with sadness in the eyes. Once the footsteps fade and the door clicks shut, I open my eyes and let them adjust to the darkness of the room. The silhouettes of the bed bunks start to focus in my sight and then the details stay a blurry mess. Even in the daytime I avoid the others at all cost. I don’t want to look at them or learn their names. It will make it much harder in the end. I shift to my side and stare at the wall hoping it will offer me something other than its cold hard surface. I don’t read as much as I did before, but the hope of passing into another world through a wall would be a miracle for me. But I know that through this wall is just another room. The same as the one I’m in now. The same bed frames, the same sad window in the corner, the same door that is locked twice from the outside. I cracked my knuckles one by one with the bones echoing the room. It’s a luxury to be able to hold each hand in a comfortable way here. Before, the bedwear they supplied was impossible to sleep or turn in, but I guess that was the point. As time went on, I’ve learned what they wanted and how they wanted me. If they ask me to smile, I smile. If they ask me to laugh, I laugh. Keep your head up, smile when they look at you, never frown in their sight. If they know you are sad then it locks you in a little bit longer, makes the straps a little bit tighter and the air little bit thinner. The thing that scares me the most is seeing the people grow old around me. When they first come in their faces are dark and lifeless. Some do become brighter and the dark circles fade, but I know that in their heart they are still as dead as they were when they came in. The man who
wore the stethoscope and gave me the pills grew a beard. Over time, the hair got lighter. It started with only a couple spots, but the silver soon overtook his face. I asked about it once and he only looked at me with a curious expression. I asked, “Why are you aging so fast?” He looked around the room searching for an answer that doesn’t exist. He took a breath and responded. “Time is life’s worst enemy and in the end, it always wins.” He looked at the pills he was counting in his hands and put two in his mouth. “We all get sad too sometimes.” He put the last pill in my hand and a cup of water in the other. “I can’t tell you who has it better,” he whispered. Ever since that one encounter, he gave me one and took the other two for himself. I don’t know how long it went on for since our conversations were only limited to that one. The rest of our exchanges were only nods and weak smiles. No one else in the room ever noticed or it was me who never noticed them. It wasn’t until one day where a lady in scrubs entered my room when I spoke again. She came in and had three pills for me. I looked at the pills and then looked at her. I opened my hand out slowly and allowed her to put the three pills in my palm. “Where’s the man with the silver?” I asked quietly. She looked confused at my sudden questioning, but then remained calm when looking around. She knelt down beside me and put her hand carefully on my knee. “He won’t be coming back here… I guess he was struggling for a while and no one knew,” she said sadly. “It got too much and he couldn’t handle it.” I nodded my head, I knew what she meant. I’ve seen it too many times before. The same look on their face, when they move my roommates. I shut my eyes every time and pretend that it was just a nightmare. Now I have a new nightmare to keep me up. The words no one knew creep into all my thoughts over and over again. I knew. I knew that he was like me, he was just like me. But who would listen to me? I’m just another patient. Story by Molly Dickinson 5
A professional interview about squirrels with
CHANDRA MURTHY
(commonly known as the editor-in-chief of Summit yearbook)
conducted by
SARAH DOIRON
(commonly known as the editor-in-chief of the Chronicle)
C
handra Murthy is not your average college student. When the sophomore Behavioral Neurosciences major is not in class or working for The Summit Yearbook, he is out on the Quad perfecting his photography skills in a unique way. Murthy isn’t taking pictures of people. He’s not taking pictures of Sleeping Giant. He’s most certainly not taking pictures of the clock tower at different angles to put on his Instagram account. Instead, Murthy’s subjects of choice are squirrels. Other than the fact that squirrels are cute, Murthy has his reasons for photographing these furry friends. “Despite their cuteness factor, it’s quite a challenge to photograph them due to their sporadic nature,” he said. “I actually can take the skill of photographing squirrels and apply it to track-
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ing athletes in sports photography.” Murthy’s friend Resfred Arthur said he tried taking photos of squirrels like Murthy does, but to no avail. “Unfortunately my efforts were to no avail as these very agile creatures would stop at nothing to evade humans,” Arthur said. “That is when I realized the answer to Chandra’s obsession with squirrel photo taking. It probably poses a challenge, a challenge he is willing to take, and this goes to show just a little bit of his personality trait.” This love affair with photographing squirrels didn’t happen overnight, however. Murthy used to hate squirrels until he realized they could be beneficial to his photography skills. “I originally started hunting them due to ludicrously high populations and the somewhat destructive nature of squirrels,” he said. “I eventually began taking photos of them as I
became a more serious photographer and my interests changed.” Murthy’s friends support him in his quest to photograph squirrels, although most of them think he is obsessed. “It’s entertaining,” Clayton Moore, a friend of Murthy’s, said. “Really it’s one of Chandra’s defining characteristics.” Arthur said he has noticed a bias towards squirrels in Murthy’s collection of photos he posts to social media. “Squirrels are cute, so there’s no problem there, but when one takes one too many pictures of one type of creature it begs some curiosity,” Arthur said. Murthy developed a rationale for hunting and photographing squirrels. In the past, Murthy used to kill squirrels because of their destructive nature and high populations. “At one point I killed a few a week, because
there were so many,” he said. “The squirrels completely ruined the landscaping work at my house.” But with the killing of squirrels that were surrounding his house there came a new challenge for Murthy. “Since I seriously pursued lowering the rodent’s population, there was a substantial decrease in sightings,” he said. “It was the gateway for me into nature photography– that and I felt bad.” Murthy’s favorite part of photographing squirrels is the comedic results and sense of accomplishment from being able to capture one on camera. But he has one piece of advice for anyone interested in squirrel photography. “Don’t be deceived by a squirrels mundane appearance,” he said. “They are incredibly intelligent. They also squeak and twitch their tail to alert other squirrels to danger.” Photos by Chandra Murthy 7
Tunnel Vision
Photo by Jen Rondinelli
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Hammond Castle
Photo by Jessica Wahl
Overcoming The Obstacle of The Mind Imagine. You are trapped in a small glass box, except everyone can see in through the glass, but you cannot see out because instead of glass, you are surrounded by mirrors on the inside. In these mirrors, you are suffocated by reflections of thousands of petrified, opposite yous, copying your every move and absorbing your mind with thoughts of your appearance, actions, and the way you live your life. This consumes you through every waking moment of the day, making you question whether or not you are truly playing the game of life correctly, and whether or not your moves were appropriate. Every day, you repeatedly stay awake until late hours of the night, tossing and turning as the image of yourself staring back at you copies your every move and forces you to replay every little detail of the day, good or bad, until you find the bad in everything. Did you say the right thing? Was what you did not correct? Did you look and sound stupid? Why do you have to be so annoying and needy and wrong ALL the time? The 24/7 battle of you and your brain gets so tiring, you wish you could just shut your screaming thoughts up. How much easier it would be, you think, if you did not have to think? If you stopped thinking, you would not be stressed and obsessed with ev-
ery single detail in everything. If you were not stressed about all of these things, you would finally be happy. Many people’s lives are consumed by this subconscious monster in our heads, this glass box of uncertainty and terror that ceases to leave us alone. Though, there are people out there who just have glass on all sides of their personal box. They do not understand this daily tug-of-war between you and yourself. Those who have their reflection to hate only know how hard it is to overcome this monster, and know that if you attempt to break through your mirrored prison, it only proceeds to get stronger. You feel so alone, so encased and small in your personal world of uncertainty. Until one day, someone has a strong enough hammer to break you out of your manmade trap, and tells you that you are not alone. You are not alone. With the support of others, one day you will build up enough strength to break free on your own. You will see the world as its beautiful self again, this time, with you present in it. Your mirrors will eventually become glass. You will finally be able to see the world in its entirety again. You can overcome this monster that happens to live in your head and not under your bed. You can beat it. You can overcome overthinking.
Story by Kirsten Koedding
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Collage by Kristen Riello 11
Photo by Wesley Clapp 12 Montage Fall Zine
Photo by Hadley Hagemann 13
EDITOR TO AN INTERVIEW WITH KYLE LIANG, QUESTIONS BY KRISTEN RIELLO Who are your favorite writers? I used to love Hemingway, and I still do, but as of recently I've been reading a lot of Asian writers—LiYoung Lee, in particular, and I've also been reading a poetry collection titled 100 Chinese Silences by Timothy Yu. What inspires you? My family most of all. After that, I would say that my inspiration comes largely from my experiences as a young Asian man in America. What's your favorite thing about Montage? My favorite thing about Montage so far has been building the art and writing community on campus. It has been great seeing some quietly passionate kids make the work that they do in their private time more than just a 2 a.m. hobby and an actual part of their lives that leaves the comfort of their bedroom. Do you have any advice for young writers? Write. A lot. And find what inspires you. What are your favorite things to write about? Anyone who has read my writing knows that much of my writing is centered around what it means to be both Asian and American, but I also write about social injustice, family matters, cultural identity, and anything I find funny really. What's your favorite kind of pen to write with? To be honest, and I'm not even saying this as a marketing scheme, I love writing with the Montage Bic pens. They bleed just the right amount. I think a pen that bleeds just right is important. It keeps your hand from moving too slow and, in turn, stops you from hesitating while you write. One of the hardest things to do with writing is to write with honesty and conviction. A good pen should bleed a little just like you should when you write. When do you find is the best time of day to write? I don't think there is a best time, and if there is, it's different for everyone. Oftentimes my inspiration to write or at least the ideas that fuel my writing find me at different times of the day—some days it finds me while while I'm out for my run, other days it's when I'm on the toilet. But typically I find that my best times to write are when the day is coming to an end. What other artistic pursuits do you indulge in besides writing? I also dance—not as much as I like, but I do dance. I love theater; acting is something that feels natural to me, and after college I would like to audition for shows at small theater companies. Occasionally I like to sketch. When I was younger I wanted to pursue art but my parents would have never allowed that. It pains me that I'm not as technically trained as I would like to be and it oftentimes makes sketching difficult to enjoy, but I would still say it's something that I "indulge" in nonetheless. What are your favorite words? Favorite words? That's an interesting question. I love to use the word brilliant in conversation—I find it works with what I'm often trying to say. Who would you want to play you in a movie about your life? That's a tough question seeing as there aren't many Asian actors in Hollywood... Maybe Harry Shum Jr.? He's a pretty good looking guy and a good dancer.
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O EDITOR AN INTERVIEW WITH KRISTEN RIELLO, QUESTIONS BY KYLE LIANG When did you first become interested in art and design? Art is something that has always been a major part of my life. My love for painting surfaced in high school. When it was time for college, I had to decide if I wanted to go down the art school path or pursue the design program here. So I became an IDD major here, and my eyes were opened to the world of graphic design. It changed the way I see everything and I’ve never turned back. What is your favorite part about art and design? My favorite part is watching myself get better. And watching something that was a picture in my mind come to life, to print, is so rewarding. Where do you get inspiration from? I get inspiration from everything. My main form of inspiration is other designers and artists. If I walk down a street and see something that inspires me, I immediately take a picture or write it down. Most of the time I think of an idea for a design in the shower. The organic ideas are always the best. Any favorite artists? My favorite artist is Norman Rockwell. In high school I would study his paintings and recreate them, which was a tremendous help for me in trying to become a better painter. Ever since then, I’ve loved his work. This past winter I went to his museum and studio in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, and seeing his most noteworthy paintings was a profound experience for me. There’s something about his artwork that I find so warm and comforting. Each painting has a story. Other current artists whose work I religiously follow are Jack Vanzet, Alex Henery, Austin Lotz, Rebecca Allen, Jerrod La Rue, Stephanie Unger, and Geary Morrill. I highly suggest looking all of them up if you want to see some really amazing and unique work. Are there any colors, shapes, patterns, or themes you particularly adore or enjoy working with? I’m always drawn towards creating grungy style things and working with lots of layers, stamps and splatters. That’s my go to for a lot of projects. Lately I’ve been into weird stuff. I think I’ve gotten a little bored with anything normal. The older I get, abstract and modern art starts to make more and more sense to me. What has been your greatest challenge as an artist thus far? My greatest challenge is trying to push myself to be as creative as possible. I’m very competitive when it comes to anything art/design related. I like my work to be as good as I can possibly make it, but I struggle with getting burnt out sometimes. A lot of people don’t realize how difficult design can be. It’s so subjective; it’s not a right or wrong answer. What is your favorite medium to work with? My favorite medium will always be oil paints. My favorite program to work with, on the design side of things, is InDesign. Photoshop is a lot of fun for creating backgrounds with lots of textures and layers. What do you see yourself doing with art and design in the future? Print design will always be something I gravitate towards. Seeing people wearing shirts I’ve designed, hanging up posters I’ve made, wearing pins I’ve designed on their backpacks, stickers on their laptops; it’s an indescribable feeling. Any kind of publication design appeals to me. I’d love to work at a creative agency where the work is always different. Incorporating my painting, photography and fine arts skills into my work is also ideal. What are you looking forward to doing with Montage this year? The zines have been the most exciting project I’ve worked on in a long time. To see it come from just a few sparks of an idea to an actual book is such a cool process. I look forward to many more zines and the book at the end of the year. Kyle and I have so many ideas, and watching them come to life before our eyes, going better than we ever thought, is the most accomplished feeling.
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Oslo, Norway 16 Montage Fall Zine
Photo by Matthew Mattson
Song illustration by Erin Kane 17
Bee’s Delight
Photo by Erin Kane
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Collage by Christina Popik
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k
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Comics by Hector Ogando
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Photo by Sean Raggio
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Drawing by Kristen Riello Modeling and “Sculpture” by David Friedlander
Photo by Matthew Mattson
Photo by David Friedlander 25
Photo by Garrett Amill
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VIEW APPROACH ANGLE CONTEXT JUDGEMENT NOTION LAYOUT PROFILE OUTLOOK SIGHT TAKE BELIEF Poem by Jen Rondinelli
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WHO ARE WE? We are a group of students who promote the growth of emerging writers and artists. We want writing that pushes boundaries; we seek strong, thought-provoking imagery; we strive to showcase new and original works. Montage is the hub for creative expression at Quinnipiac.
montage.qu@gmail.com qumontage.com insta: @quinnipiacmontage facebook: /quinnipiacmontage Join us on Wednesdays at 12:30 p.m. in SC116 Submit to our journal: montage.submittable.com/submit