Sweta

Love Therapist

Diehard Cowboys Fan

K-9 Partner In Crime

Photographed by Lauren Oliver / @lauren_noelle_oliver Interviewed by Carly Quellman

“In New York you can be whomever you want, and there’s no judgement. You will find a community that understands you and accepts you for just who you are. When Lin-Manuel Miranda gave his ‘love is love’ speech, I saw that on literally ten sidewalk signs. I’ve lived in Texas, I’ve lived in the Midwest, and you just don’t see that kind of acceptance from people in those places.”

“ I came here when I was still young. I didn’t really know who I was, and I feel like I’ve become the person that I am not just because of my life experiences, but because of New York. I appreciate that.”

“Love is not as simple as people want it to be. I think it’s challenging; I think it’s something worth fighting for. I’ve seen people going through some pretty rough spots, who come to me and talk about wanting to break up, wanting to end the relationship. But in my head I’m thinking, and yet here you are in therapy. There’s a reason you’re not letting go. So part of my work is about trying to integrate two things: that your mind may be saying one thing, but your heart is saying another. Love is from the heart; you can’t change what you’re feeling.”

“When there are so many options, people tend to be a lot pickier, right? In a city with 8 million people it gets hard to find your one favorite. I think we feel that it should be easy to pick a favorite, but really we’re just so overloaded with choices that it becomes too hard. So instead of increasing happiness, there’s actually disappointment and self-blame. When it comes to dating, I’ve found that a lot of people become frustrated with the whole process. As a result, they want to give up. My job as a therapist is to help make it a little easier for people to make these decisions.”

“New York brings out the impulsivity in all of us. You want coffee at 4am? You can go to a diner and get that. You want to do karaoke at 2 in the afternoon? You can do that, too. New Yorkers should slow down their thought processes a little, take a step back and evaluate, because we’re so quick to make snap judgements and decisions. Sometimes you just need to slow down.”

“My dog comes with me to work. He’s trained as an emotional support animal, so as soon as my clients sit on the couch, he wants to sit next to them and offer support. We went through a training process, and then we both had to take an exam, which was physical for him, like hearing someone crying and observing his reaction. He knows when someone really needs him in that way. It’s fascinating: he can tell the difference between me crying over a movie, versus me crying from emotions. He’s just as good at picking up on cues as some humans are.”

“I am a huge Dallas Cowboys Fan. It’s fun— and also challenging—being a Cowboys fan in New York when you’re divisional rivals. I go to the same spot, J.G. Melon, every week to watch the game. I see the same people, and we talk trash. It’s really fun. I made some of my closest friends by watching football together on Sundays. It was like, wait, football season ends in February and I don’t see you guys until September? This is weird, we should be hanging out!”

“ The most annoying thing about New Yorkers is that they know it all. We all feel like we’re experts, even with something as simple as the fastest way to get somewhere. I have a hard time admitting I’m wrong. I think all my friends do that. 99% of New Yorkers do that.”

Q&A

What neighborhood do you live in? I live on the Upper East Side. I’ve been in this neighborhood for about ten years now. I started on 95th Street and slowly moved down every few years. I think it’s safe to say this is home.

Best thing about living there? It has a little bit of everything! Second Ave has so many bars, but then there are also parks, family-friendly restaurants, and museums for some culture. In theory, I wouldn’t even have to leave the neighborhood to do many of the cultural things the city has to offer.

Favorite neighborhood? Definitely mine. The Upper East Side is special to me, not just because I live here but also because my friends do. Anything I need is either a phone call, or a delivery, away.

Favorite street to stroll? In the summer I love strolling down Lexington - there are always street fairs!

Favorite restaurant? Surprisingly, this is not in my neighborhood. My brother lives in the West Village and is a regular at Empellon Taqueria. They make the best Brussels sprouts taco. And margaritas, too!

Favorite bar? The Harrow in Hell’s Kitchen. Not only is the staff so friendly and inviting, their cocktails are great! And I never say no to their lobster pierogis.

Hidden gem? The North Woods in Central Park. They’ve literally transplanted part of the Adirondacks into the middle of the city. It’s a hidden oasis to get away from the city, while still being in the heart of the city.

How to be(come) a New Yorker? In my books, you’re a true New Yorker if you’re okay with crying on the subway an not caring what anyone else thinks. To me, it’s not really about a certain activity, but a state of mind. You can be yourself without fear of judgement.

Your New York soundtrack? Juicy by Notorious B.I.G.–quintessential NY attitude. You know very well who you are, don’t let ‘em hold you down!

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