PLANS by Rachel Herring

Transitional Periods | 1

PLANS An interview style publication about transitional periods, taken+missed opportunities, the best laid plans of mice and men, and feeling un-grown-up.

designed+written by Rachel Herring copy edited by Karen Herring+Taylor Abate art directed by Samantha Herbert

To T.J. because you taught me to live according to so many things other than just my plans. Thank you.

TRANSITIONAL PERIODS featuring Taylor Abate, “I am 23.” Nancy Abate, “I’m 48.” Rebekah Thompson, “I’m 22, gosh. That feels weird to say.”

TAKEN+MISSED OPPORTUNITIES featuring Jordan Richardson, “I am 26. Yeah, that sounds right.” Teresa Hildreth, “No, no, I don’t mind answering. I am 46.”

BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE AND MEN featuring Kate Manning, “I am 29 but I had to think about it.” Timothy Gill, “Twenty-six? Yeah, 26 is how old I am.” Tracy Awino, “I’m 21, but I had to think about it. I almost said 19!”

UN-GROWN-UPS featuring Tiffany Smith, “I’m old enough not to tell you!” Summer Upton, “I am 33 biologically, sometimes 45, and sometimes 12.” Antoinette Hawkins, “I’m 22.” Robert Finkel, “I just turned 36.” Lynn Montgomery, “I’m an old fart! I’m 62, Rae.”

Table of Contents

LIFE plans My whole life I was ahead of the curve when it came to planning, but in 2015, four years after I graduated high school, I found myself with a year and a half of college left and my life was nothing like I thought it would be. I fell in love, even though I never saw myself getting married when I was younger. I stayed in the Opelika-Auburn area even though I always wanted to move. I was closer with my parents than ever before and living with two girls I met at Auburn. The only thing that was consistent over those four years was my growing passion for graphic design and my desire to move to a large city and start my career. But how I got where I am today, the people who have come in and out of my life and the changes I experienced throughout every stage was something no one can plan. Not even me. So often we know where we want to go, but we don’t know how we want to get there. There are so many different routes that get us to the same place. My route was modified, the ETA was extended, I picked up and dropped off a people along the way, but the destination was the same. These types of details can rarely be planned, because so much is dependent upon who we let into our lives. They determine if you fall in love at 18, they decide where you go for vacation which inspires a new area to job search which in turn leads to your first real job. These things cannot be planned, they can only be lived. I say all of this to preface the conclusion that this 22

The intention of this publication is to encourage, enlighten, and inspire. I hope to encourage the planner who keeps having her plans screwed over. I hope to enlighten the guy who believes his life will submit to the course he has mapped out. I hope to inspire people everywhere to breathe a little deeper, rest a little easier, and live a little calmer, while still going after their goals with all tenacity and intensity that they can bear to give. And remember just because a plan has gone to hell and back and you are no where near where you thought you would be, doesn’t mean you aren’t in the best place you’ve ever been. Similar to our intentions for our lives, this is just my intention for this book, and I know it is subject to change. Ultimately, I hope this book takes on a life of her own and has an individual impact on each of you beautiful readers. I hope you open your hearts and minds to the ideas and stories of these amazing humans who honestly shared their successes and failures. I hope you learn something and love it or hate it, because indifference is the real enemy. In this publication, 13 individuals came to a similar conclusion in their lives—life is so much bigger than our plans for ourselves. Plans are static and manufactured, life is dynamic and organic. Plans set us up for comparison while life gives us the opportunity to collaborate. This book is not about “poo-pooing” plans, though; it is about allowing yourself to modify your plans and not forcing

year old, type-A, ENTJ, design student came to: goals are

something just because it’s part of the PLAN.

a necessity for direction and plans are crucial for follow

Pencil your plans, live your life,

through. But rigidly sticking to a plan just because that’s the PLAN, is like slicing through an apple even though your index finger is in the way of the blade.

Rachel Herring

Introduction

TRANSITIONAL PERIODS

TAYLOR ABATE

I am 23. I am from Ormond Beach Florida, which is north of

Daytona. I have two siblings. I am the oldest, first, number one. My parents are divorced but hommies. They’re the best divorced couple in America. I have no stepparents. First, I wanted to be a marine biologist. The person who trains penguins. I changed to graphic design. It was the first real thing I wanted to be which is pretty cool. No penguin trainer, but still pretty cool. I was given a lot of opportunities and had a lot of support. I went to fine arts school. At 16 I was told by one of my professors that I would not be a starving artist. I thought I could do it, and other people thought I could do it too. Did your family support you? Yeah. No doubt of that. Their support made me want to do it more. There’s a little competition between my mom and me because she’s a photographer. We were taught similar things in a very different way, but I was never discouraged. We just tried to one-up each other. DME (a design firm) was my least favorite job. I didn’t learn anything. I didn’t benefit the company. It taught me what I don’t want to do, and that is design stationary. It was a very corporate environment. Creativity was limited to the general public like stock photography. I don’t want my work to be stock photography. What do you “do” now? Right now, I job hunt, watch Law & Order, and work out.

Through college we have a huge part of our lives decided. We pick our major, go to class, possibly work, and do lots

Taylor graduated from

of homework. But after

Auburn University

college, options are so

December of 2015. This

open. I think a huge part

interview took place

of transitional periods

only a month later. You

is the unknown. Filling

have to know this to

in the blanks everyday

understand her state of

causes us to change,

mind and expectations

evolve, transition.

for herself.

Transitional Periods | 1

Did your family always support you?

“YEAH. I N HAD ANY OF THAT.”

NEVER Y DOUBT ”

Where did you see yourself at your age? I don’t know where I saw myself. I thought about where I saw others, like my mom. When she was my age, she was married and had me two years later. I don’t see that happening to me for a long time. I thought I would graduate and immediately have a job. Comparing doesn’t help so I’m trying to stop doing that. I’m at a new place {Nashville}. I feel like I did when I moved to Auburn University. A transitional period for sure. Five-year plans are underrated, especially by me. My dad’s letter to me on my birthday {December 18th 2015} was about having a short-term and a long-term goal. Life plans are always unpredictable. They are a paradox. You plan for something that doesn’t go your way and all of your other plans are ruined.

I feel like I shouldn’t feel grown up. I do grown-up things, but that doesn’t make you feel grown-up. Just because I can drink doesn’t mean I can file my taxes. Buying cigarettes at 18 and alcohol at 21 doesn’t give you the knowledge it requires to feel grown up. Knowledge is what makes you an adult, and I am at an elementary state of being an adult. I want to teach graphic design or illustration at a collegiate level or write a book. They both are educational. My life goal is to never stop learning. Even if it is a skill like gardening. I can recycle that knowledge and help others keep learning. I think I want to teach because I have had such awesome teachers.

The uncertainty is exciting. It comes with freedom. It’s always been up to me, but I came to Nashville because I wanted to, and now it is important to follow through with what I said I would do. Which is: get hired doing something that requires my degree, make a life for myself, and become completely independent.

What do you do with the future? I plan it. I dread it, but I try to balance it also. I’m actively working for my future and I’m cautious. But it totally freaks me out. What if I have these expectations and can’t meet them? What if I start to hate what I

Only three months

Transitional periods

after this interview,

are a time of sewing, so

do, but it’s the only thing I’ve ever been really passionate about?

Taylor landed her dream

we can reap the benefits

It’s things you can’t know without actually experiencing it.

internship in Nashville.

later. Taylor sewed good

She pushed through

seed by, “hustling,” as

the hard transitional

she puts it. And she

By now, I thought I’d have a job, but I didn’t think I would be super happy with the it. Everything is completely up to me now.

periods and is now on a

is now reaping major

set path again.

benefits from it.

The whole actress thing I loved all through high school. It’s not the coolest thing to move as a high school senior and try out for play. But I did anyway. I enjoyed theater all through high school. I switched majors because I realized that being a television reporter was attainable but the movie star dream never really seemed totally attainable. Yes, my parents were supportive and thrilled that I changed to working in TV. They thought it would be a better goal. My sister was very supportive too,

NANCY ABATE I am 48. I am from St. Louis Missouri.

I have one sister and she passed away; it’s OK, it’s not like the super sad thing. It was years ago. She was four years older then I am and we were both adopted. My parents were happily married and have been. My dad

she gave me one of the happy and sad

theater masks for my charm bracelet.

My parents never encouraged theater, they said I would never support myself. But they let me try to figure it out on my own, which affected my parenting. I want to be more of a supportive mom. I want to support them 100% but stand back and let them figure out their lives for themselves.

You can’t teach someone the things that matter, they have to grow and learn it themselves.

passed away on Valentine’s Day 11 months after my mother.

Do you use your degree now? No, I am a mom and a photog-

We always said that he didn’t want to spend Valentine’s Day

rapher. I am the official “get the house on the market person.”

without her.

I stand back and watch all three amazing, different children

What did you want to be when you grew up? When I was younger I wanted to be an actress. So I went to FSU to do theater. But then I changed to television reporter. I changed majors very quickly.

on three different paths, and I keep af loat a tiny photography business dealing with lots of cranky parents. I do a ton of work for very little money. The cheapest customers are always the ones leaving my driveway in Range Rovers.

This was the point in the interview were she stopped to show me her kids pictures and her office. She is a mother at heart. She has such a big heart for her children and her family. At my age I saw myself in the same exact place but married. Mr. Abate’s career took me to Ormond Beach, but it would not have been my first choice. It’s definitely been a good life. I took my son Doug to visit a college and showed him our old house where we ate nothing but PB&J. We were so poor and so happy. (The environment is important. Mike and I were poor but happy. I don’t encourage that but it’s just what happened for us—that was our path.) I went to see the house, and the lady that lives there now invited me in. I could’ve stayed there forever. How do you view where you are at this point in your life? Well right now it’s a huge new chapter. I’m considering a new career and moving. But I’m waiting to see about the kids. There’s nothing to keep me in Ormond Beach anymore. I keep getting asked where I’m moving and I keep saying, “forward.” When you sent me the questions for the interview I sent them to my friend and said, “How appropriate is this for me?” Nothing I’ve ever done has been profitable. My daughter’s nanny/my assistant made more money than I did while I was

This is Taylor Abate’s

working in TV. I interviewed for an anchor position, but you

{the previous woman

need to go to a lower market to get a job. I went to the 23rd highest in the country.

who was interviewed} mother. Even while I was interviewing her she was mothering me

My parents told me I had a week after I graduated to find

and making sure I was

a job so I was going to send all of my information to NBC.

okay when she told me

I went up there and gave it my all. I didn’t have the confidence but I just did it. You can’t even flinch.

members of her family had passed away. Mothers are an amazing type of person. Their giving hearts never cease to amaze me.

Transitional Periods | 1

anything. I just hope all of my kids are healthy, happy, and eventually employed. I know that there’s good stuff ahead. I plan for the future. I pray about it. I emYou just have to ask and they can say yes or no thank you. It’s better to ask forgiveness than permission in that respect. I think five-year plans are a good idea but they need to be f lexible. One of the best quotes I heard was from an NFL

brace that I look at it as filled with possibilities, but if I was sitting here in counseling I’d say yeah I’m scared as shit. I don’t think you could meet a person at 48 years old who is starting such a new chapter.

coach “You’ve got to be ready to turn on a dime.” Like going

When I got my jaw wired shut in the 10th grade, a friend gave

to New York there so many paths. You don’t just get on 95 and

me a journal and it’s all been documented, everything.

go. You may stop in Charlotte or DC or you can go

Writing is my release; it’s how I work through times and how

straight there.

I celebrate times. As a producer, I was a writer as well. I love

Plans are a good idea. They’re filled with varables, variants,

Plans are always changing as relationships change and grow. It really is all about who’s in your life. If I hadn’t married Mr. Abate, I wouldn’t be in

surprises, disappointments.

Ormond Beach and looking at them as she shows me pictures of her children.

looking back at the happy, funny times and how it’s all been a life worth documenting. There are 25 to 30 journals. Doug gave me a f lower and I put it in there. Taylor drew me a dog and it’s in there. Things my mom highlighted in her Bible are all in my journals. I still always fall asleep writing in them. Yeah, well the only thing I didn’t expect was to lose my family so soon, which just made me tear up . I tell the kids

Yes. I feel grown-up, very much so. I had a lot of responsibili-

all the time, “You need to marry into a family like Rachel’s.”

ty and my parents trusted me with a lot. Like, I had to handle

Because it’s a big family and you’ll always have other family

my sisters divorce after she died. My mom had cancer and

members to be there. My whole family’s gone now— my mom,

passed away, then my dad died accidentally, and I’ve raised

my one sister, and my dad.

three kids part of the time as a single mom. I can handle

Even at 48 Nancy is going through a transitional period just like her 23 year old daughter.

The wisdom Nancy

I hope I never stop tran-

shared with me in her

sitioning because that’s

interview is exactly why

when I will stop growing.

I interviewed people

When I become comfort-

in her age group. They

able and I’m no longer

have so much insight to

pushed outside my

share and they shared it

comfort zone, I’ll know

with a humble heart and

it’s time for change.

an open mind.

Transitional Periods | 1

REBEKAH THOMPSON I’m 22 which feels weird to me because 21 is still 21 years old. At 21, you get to wear a big sign on your birthday, but at 22 it sounds like you have to have your shit together. I have lived a little bit of everywhere. Alabama, North Carolina. My dad was in med school so we lived in Arkansas and it was nice to be around family. We then moved to Texas. I have lived in Alabama the longest, 11 years consistently. I am from Alabama, but it’s taking time for me to feel that way. There are two kids in my family, it’s me and Hannah Grace. I am number one, the one and only, the oldest child. My parents are still together. They’re unicorns. I don’t know how they stayed together pre-Skype. They only saw each other two weeks a year, and they only had land lines to talk on. They were long distance until they got married. When I was young I wanted to be a missionary in Mozambique off the coast of Africa. Then I thought I wanted to be an English teacher because I just love to read. When my parents wanted to ground me they would take my books away. Did that seem attainable? Being an English teacher definitely seemed attainable. A missionary would have been attainable too if I had grown up to be a different person than

At the time of her

I am today. If I had grown up to be the same person I was as

interview, Rebekah was

an early teen then I would be a missionary now. It wasn’t meant to be in this lifetime. Physically I could have, but emotionally, no. I really think I could do anything but life didn’t fall that way.

in the beginning of her last semester of college. Before I interviewed her, we went to taco Tuesday and talked about art and design as we always do.

Transitional Periods | 1

Whether it’s skydiving or making sculptures out of her body hair Rebekah is a firm believer in risk taking. Which means she is always being pushed outside her comfort zone and she is constantly adapting and transitioning in addition to the fact that she is graduating from college three months after her interview.

Part of it is a willingness to take risks. To stretch outside of my comfort zone. I’m not afraid to fail gallantly. It’s important. If I don’t take that risk to sell out, I don’t have the chance to succeed either. When I was younger I was concerned with having the right answers. In first grade, I got a 99 on a spelling test and I cried. The teacher said she wanted me to fail, so that I would know that it’s okay. When I was in second grade I would look at seventh graders and think they had it all together. In seventh grade I would look at high schoolers and think that they had it all together. Now I know that no one knows what they’re doing. My parents have been really supportive and I have been really lucky. When I wanted to be a missionary, it was not very serious. Kind of like a child wanting to be a fireman or some sort of hero. Then I wanted to be an English teacher, and they were very supportive. They were also always supportive of

art. Especially my dad. He sends me texts about jobs, tells me you can paint houses, and do faux finishes. But mom doubts more then my dad does. Sometimes people think loving someone means worrying about them, but it doesn’t. You can love someone, want the best for them, but still trust them and God’s plan for them. My dad never doubted that I would have a job and be able to provide for myself. My parents never question my choices or question how I will provide for myself. My dad never took risks. He was in the military and then he got an engineering degree because it’s what you do. It was a generation before us, you’d get a job that would get you benefits. My mom expects me to have a job right after college. Dad lets mom think I’ll

Transitional Periods | 1

get a job and like everything will just work out— thing after

Do you feel grown-up? No, hell no. I don’t know. I don’t

thing after thing. But dad understands that it’ll take time.

have a definition anymore. I always thought I would feel

The reality is that you get an internship and then a job.

grown-up but I don’t feel that way. At all stages of life, we

Ultimately that’s just the way things work in our culture

look to the next stage of life and never feel totally grown up.

now. But overall they have always been very supportive and

No one ever knows what they’re supposed to be doing. Maybe

I know a lot of parents that have not been supportive of their

it’s just in the Christian culture, but we think if we are the

children choosing art. 2015 was the year I was figuring out

will of God, we will know it. But I don’t think that anyone

what I wanted to talk about with my art. Last year was im-

ever knows. In the Bible, it promises that it will give you

portant but very hard. There was a lot of growth. It was one

wisdom if you ask, but no one ever listens. I don’t know what

of those years where I really learned who I was.

to feel. People have these milestones like grad school, job,

Where did you see yourself at your age? I thought I would be married, probably because that’s what my parents said. Because of that, I didn’t have a lot of goals outside of just getting married. I want a committed relationship but that’s not enough. I want to use my degree. I never had my wedding dress picked out, etc. as a child. I always wanted that in my life but the details were up in the air. I want kids but I am also pro-adoption. I’m not opposed to marriage, I’m a romantic at heart. I’m also not a total realist or I’d be a business major. I’m not sure I ever had an idea of what a grown-up was. I just thought you would feel grown-up. At 22, you’re supposed to be grown-up, but the generation above you thinks, they’re

In the future you’re someone’s parents, but you feel like you’re always someone’s child too. just kids.

marriage, etc., and we don’t know. It’s a weird point when you realize that your parents don’t know that much more than you do. I’m learning what 22 means, but Mom is learning what 49 to 50 means. What does it all mean? Life plans are always up for grabs, futile, noble. I don’t see myself working any other job at this point. Maybe I would sign up for a literature class. Reading is an escape but art comforts me. It’s a way for me to confront the things that I’m dealing with. Right now, I avoid the future a little bit. This semester has started but I am in this limbo stage and I’m treating the future the same way. Once I get into the groove of the semester, I’ll get more done. When you start out the semester, you’re

school, but in the second year, I want to be applying for grad

When you start out each new phase of life you’re kind of in this in between ground, this transition, this hard place where you don’t know exactly what you’re supposed to do.

school. It’s good to have a plan, but there’s no way to predict

I thought that I would have more motivation this last semes-

what will really happen. I could be waiting tables for two

ter. I thought I would be pumped and ready to go, but I feel

years, or I could land a job. There’s just no way to know. All

the same way I did every other semester. I’m like, “Whatever,

that being said, I know my own tendency toward compliance,

it feels like just another semester, not like the end.” I need

so I need to have goals set.

that stomach drop and I haven’t felt that yet.

I think five year plans are important ,but you have to be open to whatever change comes. I want to take two years off from

in a limbo stage.

Maybe it’s like that when you’re a little kid and you’re always waiting for the next big thing to happen. But now, you just have to keep making yourself do work. You just have to sit down and put in the work. You can’t wait for that realization because it may never come. It’s the same thing with being a grown-up. It’s the same thing with being anything that you want to be. You just have to jump in and do the damn work.

Transitional Periods | 1

TAKEN+MISSED OPPORTUNITIES

Did your family support you? My sister? Sure, she was supportive I guess. We fought a lot, but we were always close.

JORDAN RICHARDSON I am 26. Yeah, that sounds right.

I was born in California. I spent my childhood in Maine and I’ve been at Auburn for 12 years. I have an older sister. Parents divorced in like, 2000-ish and they both remarried and they’ve been remarried for 15 to 16 years. They both remarried really quickly. As a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut. Then I wanted to be a history professor, but I realized you don’t get paid much. They also write a lot, which I don’t particularly care for. I always loved science and exploration. It fires the imagination. Like with any little kid, I always liked knowing how and why things happened. I grew up watching the Discovery Channel. My parents’ rule in the house was that we could watch as much TV as we wanted but it had to be educational. An astronaut was not attainable because of my eyesight but now that’s not as important in 2016. My parents were supportive about following things that interest me. As I got

We didn’t live around each other from age 12 to 20. When she came to Auburn we became friends with each other. We support each other because I know she’s smart. She’s probably smarter than I am but she didn’t go into a science field. I could talk to my parents and sister about things. I could share my opinions with them. It was more about fostering curiosity. I started physics as a freshman. Then I changed to electrical computer engineering and got a bachelors. Then I went directly into a PhD program three weeks later. I decided to switch from physics to engineering because I saw an advisor from physics when I first got to Auburn and he was a total dick. And I knew people in engineering, so I just switched.

One person, one bad advisor or amazing professor can change so much. Your whole career path. You could say that I’ve fallen backwards into all of my opportunities. I didn’t get a job right after college and a professor told me I’m too smart not to go to grad school. Right now, I do research or use computer algorithms to solve problems—data mining controls. Its useful when you have lots of data analytics. It’s computational intelligence which is the buzzword to replace human intelligence.

older it became important to me that I got paid. And I always

Where did you see yourself at your age? At my age? I usu-

was good at math and I wanted to go into something that paid

ally just avoid thinking about the future. I always thought I’d

a little better. I was pragmatic and logical at a young age. I

get a PhD, but I didn’t think I’d be stuck in Auburn. Hopefully

wanted to choose the path of least resistance when both are

that will be cleared up in the next year or two. I had a profes-

equally as appealing. My mom and her brother went into

sor that offered me funding, so I stayed here. It’s a sacrificial

public service careers. My mom is a therapist and her brother

cost, missing four years of work. You don’t want to go into

is in the ministry. My mom said life is easier when you’re

debt over grad school on top of that. But it wouldn’t be worth

not dealing with this much stress from not having

if it if I had to pay for it myself as well as miss out on four

enough money.

years of pay as an engineer.

Jordanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s interview was such a pleasant surprise. I was interviewing his girl friend, Tiffany Smith, who is in Chapter 4, and asked if I could interview him. He was happy to help and had a very unique outlook on life. I noticed that men tend to compartmentalize their future into work and home. He had very little to say about his plans in regard to marriage and family, but for the women I interviewed, the two were inseparable.

Transitional Periods | 1

Right now I’m in a transition. I’m trying to get a PhD out of

of social changes. Friends move away, people become dif-

Auburn and start making money. But it’s stressful because

ferent people, and things change. I was an introvert in high

I have to do research for my dissertation, find a place to live

school. I spent a lot of time reading and thinking by myself so

for the fall, and find a job for the summer that I can work at

I became really comfortable with that. I know that I’m okay

after I graduate. Just a lot going on at one time.

being alone. So whatever happens I know I’ll be okay.

What do you think about five-year plans? It’d be nice to

If you’re smart and you’re competent you don’t have to plan

have a five-year plan. I’m reaching the end of one five-year

out every part of your life, you just have to take advantage

plan and I haven’t done much with the next one. I guess it

of opportunities.

went as expected. I’ve never been very ambitious. It’s not my passion to do research. Work is funding my hobbies.

Five-year plans can be stressful. I’m all about minimizing stress. If you’re happy, you don’t need to worry about where you’re going to be in five years. You can just coast along and generally relax. I guess to him relaxing means working and getting a PhD from a top university in his field. Life plans are always stressful and rarely survive contact with the enemy— a.k.a. life. Objectively, no, I don’t feel grown-up. But compared to my students, absolutely. I didn’t have a solid plan, just science. It would be nice to do lots of things; hardware design, data analytics, etc. I don’t want to be in academia anymore. It’s stressful when you see changes on the horizon, when I think about moving, and finding a job. I’m in a position where I don’t want to be. Doing this, creating all these changes. But I’ll be much happier once it it’s all over with.

Don’t try to be a better person than you are. It’s hard to conceptualize what you’ll be like in the future. You can’t anticipate it as a kid. From 18 to 20 there was a lot

Jordan is a PhD canidate in Computer Science and Electrical Engineering. To meet someone so intelligent AND humble is very rare. He attributes a lot of the opportunities he has

The fact that he can be

had to other people.

so relaxed as PhD candi-

After reading his inter-

date says a lot about his

view, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure you can

emotional maturity

tell itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s him.

and personality.

Transitional Periods | 1

TERESA HILDRETH I’m 46. I’m from Montevallo, Alabama. I have two siblings, and I’m the middle child. Parents are married. My desire was to be a wife and a mother, which is what I did for 12 years. I did that with my first kid and I saw how beneficial it was for her as she grew up. My parents were definitely supportive and my husband was glad he could support me enough to stay home. The siblings were not as supportive. What do you do now? I’ve worked at Auburn City Schools since 2008. I worked in a dental clinic for kids on free and reduced lunch. Then I became the child nutrition bookkeeper for two and half years. Now, I’m the athletic bookkeeper. Auburn University admission is where I worked as a student and I worked a few other places. Then I quit and stayed home. My favorite job has been staying home with my children and I wouldn’t trade that for the world. My least favorite was nuWhen I met Teresa for the first time, which was to interview her for this

trition because of the lady that I worked with. She was a controller, she wouldn’t let me off for a day before spring break

book, she welcomed me

for my kid’s field trip. I really wanted to work in athletics, so

into her home and let

I prayed and went to the Word to make my decision.

me interview her while she cooked dinner for her family. There were

I went to Auburn University at the age of 18 and graduated

Bible verses and artwork

at 22. I came to Auburn University to get away from home. I

made by her children on

chose pharmacy at Auburn and I met a guy. I didn’t do all that

the walls. It was the perfect picture of who she is and her priorities.

well in chemistry so I changed to business education. I met a guy {not the man she married and had four children with}

who was going to make enough for me to stay home. So I didn’t worry about being a pharmacist. I then changed to human studies. If I had not made that decision I might not have met my husband, I wouldn’t have my kids, and I wouldn’t work in athletics now.

My main focus is maintaining relationships with family, my kids, and boosters. My goal is to make life easier for those around me. My relationship with the Lord is first. If I have that right, everything else works out. Glorify the Lord in all I do. I get up early to work out, so it doesn’t take away time from the people in my life during the day. Is this what you thought your life would be like? Wow, I haven’t thought about that in a long time. I planned but I didn’t really have specifics about where and what job. I wavered a lot. I didn’t have to make plans. I think Elizabeth, my oldest daughter, focused on that a lot because I didn’t. We

After her interview, she invited me (a college

She has had opportu-

student she just met)

nities come in and out

to eat dinner with her

of the real of possibility

family. She shared so

throughout her life, but

much wisdom with me

her focus is not on her

that I hope I never forget

missed and taken oppor-

and reminded me how

tunities. She focusses

precious and important

on people she surrounds

contentment is.

herself with.

that it will all work out. You work hard and the Lord needs to do the rest. Life plans are always good to make but are better when the Lord makes them for you. I feel grown-up sometimes and sometimes I don’t. When I’m making decisions for my family, yes, but we like to have a lot of fun together. Just to laugh and have fun and be silly, then I don’t feel like a grown-up.

kind of encourage our children to make plans and make these

I’ll stay at the high school until Hannah graduates. Maybe

goals because it wasn’t what their parents did.

one day I’ll do something different. When I see mission

I’m very content. I just love where I am. My boss always says, “family first.” It’s good to have the freedom to take care of the kids. The ages of my kids are all so fun. Seeing life through

videos at church, I just want to be there and tell people about Jesus. When I think of people who don’t know the Lord I just want to go to them and help them and teach them about God.

their eyes and experiences. I just love it. Kyle and I have time

What do I do with the future? I’ll let it go. I deal with the

to be together, now we’re not always feeding all our time into

things as they come. I do what I need when I need to, but I

our children.

know the Lord will provide as it comes.

What do you think about five-year plans? You can make

Yeah, my first years of marriage I had a fairy tale view. I had to learn to submit to reality.

them but they need to be f lexible for the Lord to change them. There’s a proverb that I love, “she can laugh at the days to come.” If the Lord has different plans, you need to trust

Whatever state I am in, I will be content; that’s what I had to learn. Life now is so fun. I don’t think we should look forward to Friday and dread Monday and always look forward to a vacation. I don’t have to have something to look forward to. Each day is just really fun. I don’t dread Monday, but I experience Monday. My kids don’t always have to be going and doing all the time, they can be content at home and I love that.

THE BEST LAID PLANS OF MICE AND MEN

KATE MANNING I am 29. I had to think about it. I am from Opelika, Alabama. Ha ha. I have five siblings! I am the second born but the eldest. I always wanted to be a mom and a wife. I have a nurturing instinct. I changed my first diaper at six years old. That’s what mom did, and I admired that even when I was little. Yes, even though I am 29 and have no kids, I still see my future dream as kids. It never crossed my mind that it wouldn’t be attainable. I was always supported by my parents. I guess no one ever seemed to not be supportive. When there are so many of you, it’s fun to all be different. It’s not like I was an only child and everything was riding on me. There was someone to fill in any position. What has been your favorite job? My favorite job is definitely Envy Salon {where she now works}. I do what I love there. Working hard counts. My opinion is sought after by my boss. It makes me feel like I matter there. This has not been true of any of the other jobs I have had. My last boss said that she could fire all of her employees and that none of us mattered; that we were all replaceable. I started looking for a Kate is the second child of six kids, but acts as the oldest. She has wanted to be a mother

new job soon after that. My least favorite was the first salon I worked at. Which is ironic because it helped me make a decision of what I wanted

and wife her whole

for a career. The more you gave the more my boss took, and

life, but now she is 29

she was never thankful. For someone like me who wants to

and happily married without kids. When

be thanked, that makes a big difference. I worked with my

you let your life happen

best friend which I loved, but I was treated like a slave.

it opens the door to great things—even if that great thing is “just” contentment.

When I was 18, I went to Auburn University for two years. When I was 21, I went to Southern Union State Community College for the Cosmetology Program.

What do you “do” with the future?

“I CAN’T W TIME WOR ABOUT IT

WAIST RRYING T.”

At Auburn, my major was journalism because I wanted to do

rather than an appointment. Clients say, “I can’t wait to visit

event planning and there wasn’t a major for that at Auburn.

you” and “I love that stuff you gave me” not sold me.” They see

Most event planners choose hotel and restaurant manage-

me as a friend not a sales person and hair stylist.

ment, so I was told majoring in journalism would give me some diversity. I’ve also always liked writing, so it was a good route for me. Then I chose cosmetology. I’ve always been interested in hair and makeup and the beauty industry. I was always that kid with stick on earrings that played with makeup. As conceited as it sounds, I enjoy working on how

I thought by my age, I would be married at home with kids and living in a house in this area. But I wasn’t sure if we would live here or not because I didn’t know Shon. So basically my life plans were all based on getting married and having kids. That’s what my main priority was. It’s different than what I thought. It’s funny though, I’m glad we don’t have kids right now. I could find out that I was pregnant tomorrow and still be happy, but right now I can be selfish with my time and my husband. It’s just us. What do you think about five-year plans? I used to think they were great, but now I can see how they can be destructive. Mostly because what you plan doesn’t always line up with God’s plan. And his plan is bigger and better. Sometimes you need things you had no idea you needed, so you wouldn’t have put it in your plan. Just like five years ago; I couldn’t imagine being almost 30 and not having kids. I thought that it would have been sad then, but now having kids seems overwhelming. When a five-year plan is your only plan, there are so many things outside of your control and it’s insane to try to control them. Five year goals maybe?

I look. I also like helping other people look better and feel better about themselves. Everyone has different needs and it’s fun to problem solve. It is a creative field. Hair is just my medium. It’s hard to try to please women all day. When someone has been walking around with bad hair and you get to fix it, and they hug you at the end. There’s no better feeling. What do you do for a living? I make customized pieces on their heads, make it match their lifestyle, make their day to day hair easier, and make it feel like a visit with someone

I do better with goals because I like to meet them or even yearly goals. Break it down into pieces and when it goes up in smoke it doesn’t throw off all five years. You just change goals. Why are five-year plans a thing? Some idiot who wanted to make everyone feel like they’re falling short. I think they are a good thing for the big picture so you don’t drown in the details. For couples, five year plans can be good so that everyone’s on the same page working together.

A common enemy can be good but a common goal is better.

Life plans are always changing. One day can throw off all your plans. A vision for your life is a great beginning. But to get stuck on what you want your life to be can be so damaging that it can make a person feel like what they have isn’t good enough, just because it wasn’t in their life plan. Do you feel grown-up? Sure, I have an old soul. I was always expected to act grown-up so I never felt some huge shift to grown-up-ness. I have always been “that” friend. My boss said that I’m more complex than she thought because at work I am one thing and on a trip I take care of everyone. In the future I’d like to be a mom. I’m not sure I’ll ever not do hair, which is surprising. I’ll go to fewer days a week. Shon has always said he can’t imagine me ever fully quitting because I love it so much. He told me years before I realized it. I thought I would quit whenever I had kids. What do you “do” with the future? Shon stresses and plans and it keeps him up at night. I guess I feel like I’m doing all I can every day to prepare us for the future. It is out of our control, so I can’t spend time worrying about it.

That’s why I can sleep so easy because I don’t worry. Is your job/life what you thought it would be? Yes and no. I didn’t think I would be people’s psychiatrist. I didn’t think basically strangers would divulge so much information to me or that they would ask my advice about things I have no experience in. Someone asked if they should get divorced... I have no idea. When people talk like that it makes you feel like you matter to them but really you don’t. I don’t matter because they don’t care to hear about the hard things in my life, what stresses me out. They don’t care that I got in a fight with my husband before work. They want to hear about the exciting and the fun and the good things.

Even the most seemingly attainable plans can go awry. Here Kate is letting herself see the good in her circumstances. She is open to what she is supposed to learn and be doing during this time. She is not letting “the PLAN” be in control of her or her peace. She is in control of it.

Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men | 3

Point. I talked to this old man on a plane and he would send me all kinds of stuff about West Point when I was in the fourth and fifth grade. I had a lot of respect for my chemistry and physics teachers. Physics and chemistry were kind of easy to me, unlike English composition. After talking to my teacher about what I wanted to be, I chose engineering all because of her. My siblings I can’t say were or were not supportive. When I went to college my brother and I weren’t close. We didn’t talk all that much and my parents were very supportive when I

TIMOTHY GILL 26? 26 is how old I am.

I was born in Texas. My parents were in the military. So we lived in Arizona, then off the coast of Portugal, then Louisiana, then Turkey, and then we moved here to Alabama. I’ve spent the longest time in Alabama. That’s where I tell people that I’m from. I have two siblings one younger brother and one older sister. It’s alright. Even though I was the middle child, I was the oldest son ,so I never felt like the middle child. Mom and dad are married. They have been for 30+ years.

was in school. When I joined the Air Force reserves it took them a while to come around, especially my mom. I think because they knew that I had the ability to graduate college and they thought that I was throwing in the towel. Did engineering seem attainable? I never questioned the attainability. I knew I could do it. I didn’t take the right path the first time through, but I never question the attainability. I joined the Air Force in 2009. I was in the reserves but fulltime. I became an Air Force bum. I had given up on my plans of graduating. I had become an Air Force bum. After a couple of deployments, I loved my job and looked at getting a fulltime job. I looked at my friends in the Air Force versus those who stayed in school, and I knew that eventually I would get bored. So I went back to school. This time the Air Force paid for it. My parents were very hands off. They were proud of me going

I never really had a set thing that I wanted to be, it was

to school and paid for my rent, but I had a part-time job and

always changing. My parents were in the Air Force so I

paid for everything else. Their discouragement of the Air

wanted to be in the Army, but I never fixated on it. I was just

Force was short-lived. They were proud of me and showed

worried about being a kid. Mrs. Steele, in high school, con-

up in basic training graduation with their uniforms on and

vinced me to do engineering. Because of her, my current goal

they’re retired pens.

is to be an engineer when I grow up.

My favorite job was being in the Air Force reserves. I really

Did your family support your career decisions? Yeah.

enjoyed it; it’s a real blast. I will continue to do it after I get

They did. Absolutely. I originally thought I’d go to West

my real job.

Timothy (T.J.) is who this book is dedicated to. Over the past four years he has taught me that a plan is great, but life doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t work that way. Life has way too many variables to follow a strict plan.

Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men | 3

I’m currently in college for the second time. The first time I started at 17, I did a year and a half then joined the Air Force. I was full-time Air Force from 2009 to 2014. The second time I re-enrolled at Auburn in the spring of 2014. My first major was chemical engineering because of Mrs. Steele. That’s what she was. I was proficient in chemistry and the money was good, but I quickly lost interest. Being young, immature, and dumb, I change my major to history. I’m not trying to be mean, but I did it because I knew it was going to be easy. It was something I knew I could do. But I left college while I figured out what I wanted to do. Then I came back. I knew if I was coming back to school this late I needed

Life plans are always wrong. Comparatively, I do feel grown-up based on the people I interact with every day. I pay for my car insurance, my rent, my college, etc. I’m self-sufficient compared to the people around me. People my age that are also 26—no. I’m still in school. Being a grown-up is a continuum. I am ahead of the kids in school with me but behind some of my friends and behind people in the Air Force. They have full-time jobs, a family, a home, a set life. My friend Aristotle is working in Portsmouth and he’s done changing and adjusting from thing to thing. His life is pretty much set.

Well, now that I’m back in school I do a lot of studying, home-

For the most part, I’m extremely happy with all aspects of my life. I interned with a great company. I can picture myself there for 30 years. I can picture myself with my woman for the next 30 years. Sometimes you don’t mess with happy. I heard that

work, and going to class. I still do the Air Force reserves for

from a football coach when he talked about why he didn’t

an income.

want to move to a bigger team.

Where did you see yourself at your age? In high school I

For the most part I let the future come to me. Life happens,

saw myself as having a degree in chemical engineering and

we accept it, and you adjust to it.

working and maybe married by now. No kids this early. I had

I think five-year plans are alright. They’re useful to set up

to do something that would be worth it, so I chose civil engineering. I could be outside. I could make things and not be in a lab. I changed from a history major to civil engineering. I wanted something meaningful, useful, and something I wanted to do. Not just to get a degree for the sake of it. When I get a degree, I want to use it. Not just get all that knowledge without using it.

no set idea of where, but south of the Mason-Dixon line. I don’t like snow or the cold.

a short-term goal, but people stress out about it. They get worked up and it takes away from their f lexibility. You lose

I think I’m in a really good spot right now. It took me longer,

your ability to change. I just try to be f lexible.

but I needed that time developmentally. I am right where

Is your life what you thought it would be? No, no it’s not.

I need to be working toward school and a career. I’m very happy with all the relationships in my life. My girlfriend, she is stupid and ugly. My parents and my relationship is the best it’s ever been. My brother and I are closer than ever. My sister, we are not as close as before but we’re still really good. And my girlfriend, I do love her.

I thought I would be graduated with a career. I never even knew the Air Force would be in my future. At 17 years old, I didn’t see 26 year old me being in the Air Force. I don’t know, when I looked to the future it was always about my career.

It took me several tries to write this, because T.Jâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s story is so interrelated with mine. But someone pointed out to me what is so notable about T.J.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s story is his confidence. His confidence in himself and the people he trusts. He is not a doubter but a doer, which is a remarkable trait.

TRACY AWINO I am 21 and I had to think about it. I almost said 19. I am from Kenya. I have five siblings, there are six kids. I’m the oldest, which gets a lots of pressure. Starting off growing up in Kenya, kids are expected to know what they want to be and focus on their education. On that I was asked at age 6. They tell you to write it down 10 times what you want to be when you grow up. The African stereotype is going to school and becoming a doctor, a lawyer, or an engineer. At the end of eighth grade you take a national exam that determines where you’ll go to high school. At the end of high school you do the same thing for college. I came to the US in my second year of college and the emphasis was different.

because of people like that. Someone asked if I slept with a spear under my bed. Because of that, I need to be in a position to write about where I’m from and other cultures. In other countries, the US is the end all. But you miss out on the bad parts of the United State’s culture. It only shows positives of the United States and negatives of other countries.

Five-year plans sound good when you talk about them. You should have one so you can sound good but you don’t have to believe it. What happens may be better than your plan and you get focused on what you were supposed to do or have rather than the life you really have.

By the second year of high school in Kenya, it was all about

In Jane the Virgin there’s a quote, “if you want to make God

what you were going to be in the future. Here in the US, I had

laugh tell him about your plans.” Life plans are always great

to take history and all these different subjects. I chose psy-

in conversation but they are as unpredictable as the weather

chology as my major even though I knew people from home

in Alabama. They are going to make you sound good around

would have this bad perception of what I chose. So I started

successful people, but they’re also like buying make-up

doubting what I wanted to be while I was in Camp War Eagle

foundation a shade lighter before you go to the beach—

{the freshmen orientation at Auburn University}. I soon

forever-changing.

changed to bio-medical sciences. It became all about what I would say to people. In my freshman year, I changed majors again by the spring.

Yes, I feel grown-up. It’s scary paying bills and having to make appointments for myself. It takes a lot of discipline and budgeting. I have to be smart about these things. When I was

I was trying to catch my mom in her best mood so I could tell

growing up there was water and power but you never think

her that I was unsure again. She told me to take the summer

about how it’s all happening. It just was. As a kid, mom would

off to think it over, so I went back to Kenya. Everyone was

tell us to turn off the lights and now I’m the one who does it.

doing different things in Kenya. I realized I liked hearing and telling stories. So I chose journalism.

Will you do something different later in life? I definitely think I’ll do something different. That’s my character

At Auburn, people would ask me ridiculous questions. Like

f law—I get bored easy. I’m interested in making professional

a girl asked me if I wore clothes in Kenya. I resented the US

family videos at family reunions and family events.

I dread the future very much. Just because of what I do and the uncertainty. I am not where I thought I would be at all. They should stop making videos about college. Like the movie Accepted. Because I came here trying to make it like the movies. But I never did. They never showed academics and all the studying. They just focus on the partying which gets old after the second year. Like drinking is fun when you could be arrested, but now that I’m 21 it’s not as fun. There used to be a thrill to it. Tracy talked a lot

dissect our motivations,

about how other people

we might come realize,

perceive her choices and

this is how we make

how that effects her de-

decisions constantly.

cision making. It is easy

You can’t make the right

to brush it off and think

decisions unless your

that you would never do

motivations are coming

that, but if we honestly

from your values .

Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men | 3

“STOP MA MOVIES A COLLEGE AMERICA

AKING ABOUT IN A.”

THE UN-GROWN-UPS

TIFFANY SMITH I am old enough not to tell you. I grew up in San Diego,

California, New Mexico, and Provo, Utah. We were an Air Force family. I have two siblings, both girls. I am number one. My parents are together. I knew I was going to get a college scholarship and wanted to be a computer programmer. I got a programming exercises book and that’s what I did for fun as a child. I also like to draw on the computer. Yes, it seemed attainable. That’s what my dad actually was, he was a computer programmer. My parents said that that’s what I would do because I would make really good money and I would help support my siblings. My siblings, I don’t know what their opinions were. We thought my sister would be a writer and I would kind of pay for everyone’s lifestyle.

Tiffany always thought she would be a computer programmer, but once she got to school, she realized it wasn’t a good fit. She chose her next major based on a feeling she had when she

Because my parents bought me a computer when I was so young, I was never scared. I knew I could make it happen. It all made sense to me. My future had been planned and that’s really what I thought I would do. I went to BYU and started as a computer programming ma-

walked in that building

jor. Then I switched to communications. I was in computer

on campus. These things

programming, but the people and I just could not communi-

cannot be planned, they can only be learned through living.

cate well. We didn’t get along. I wanted to talk and have fun. I went to the communications building and everything just

“IT’S A TERR REALIZATIO EVEN YOUR DON’T HAV TOGETHER

RIFYING ON THAT R PARENTS VE IT ALL R.”

felt right. So that’s when I switched. I had a lot of jobs that involved graphic design and things that communications majors do. The jobs were prepping me for the moment to change to communications. I just didn’t know that it was coming. Now I work at Auburn Media Production Group. It’s a fun variety. I get to do commercials and work on web pages. It’s exciting. I’m not re-signing my lease this year. I’m moving in December and that gets me out of my comfort zone, which is really good. What do you do now? I am a multimedia producer and I plan, create, and deliver graphics to print and web. My plan was to stay at home with three kids. I think that’s very cultural. But it’s never what I thought I would do. In college, I thought I would be a manager and kind of invent a job for myself. In reality, I hated working with engineers. To me, graphic design was an art degree and you couldn’t have a career in it. My opinion changed when I first started working on a magazine that I was the art director for. I’m really happy with where I am going. I’m happy with the diversity of education I’ve gotten and the applications of it.

It’s a terrifying realization that even your parents don’t have

Five year plans are hard to stick to in the current landscape. They need to be more conceptual than specific.

it all together.

They’re helpful so that you have a direction and know what progress looks like so you’re not scared. Life plans are always changing.

I have to think about that. No. Because I don’t have it all together. But I can buy my own pizza and candy, which tells you I am not a grown-up. It’s an illusion .

Do I feel grown-up?

I would like to do something different in the future. I want to start my own educational multimedia company. I see some areas in day-to-day lives that I can improve through fun movies. I want to make a movie that shows teen boys how they actually treat people, so they will naturally change. For the future, I just try to act! I’m very slowly building my own project and if it doesn’t work out I’ll do something else. Is this what you thought it would be like at this point in your life? Nope, but it’s fun! Because the world has changed so much. I’m a designer that knows how to program, so I can do whatever I want. Not at the moment, but I am so powerful because of my education. It’s awesome.

Feeling un-grown-up is a funny thing. Tiffany believes that being grown-up is an illusion. I believe some people are grown-ups, but I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t want to be one. I can become an adult, but being grown-up seems like there is no more room to grow. It is past tenseâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;grown. I want to continue to grow.

Un-grown Ups | 4

SUMMER UPTON I am 33 years old biologically. Sometime I feel 45 and sometimes I feel 12. I am from Walker County Alabama, which is close to Jefferson City. My actual address was in Dora, Alabama. I have one sibling that is human, two sister dogs, and one sister-in-law. My baby brother is 30 years old, which makes my feel old. They let him walk out of the hospital with a kid. They will let anyone do that. It’s crazy. My parents are married. They have been together for 40 years, since my mom was 15 and dad was 16.

If I won the lottery, I would move to Paris and become a tour guide. When I was little I would take a video camera and give tours to people. I always thought that I was weird. My parents’ support really helped shape my personality. I knew that no matter what they were always going to be on my side. They never played the devil’s advocate. My brother was supportive. A lot of people were not because they said I could do so much more. My parents did not care about how much money I was going to make. They wanted me to be happy. Job security wasn’t an important thing to them either. I’ve only ever had two jobs and both I fell into. I was a dance teacher in high school. Then I started teaching at Opelika High School at 21 years old. Both of them were my favorite jobs at some point or time. Teaching 2 to 3 year old ballet and tap was my favorite.

What did you want to be when you grew up? When I

I learned that I like to teach when I was teaching

was little I wanted to be all sorts of different things: Miss

those children.

America, Paula Abdul, a lawyer in high school because I have

My least favorite thing was when kids would get older.

always been very good at logical arguments. I was boy crazy for a period and wanted to be a sports therapist. I thought about being a psychologist and I also wanted to be a marine biologist because—dolphins—and all girls want to be a marine biologist at some point or time in their lives. I viewed all of my dreams as attainable because I was always good at everything in school. My parents said, “You can be anything,” and I was the kid that believed them. I always knew I was smart, and I always wondered what my teachers thought about me. My parents knew what I would be even at a very young age. They knew that I would be a teacher and my brother would be a coach. They intentionally didn’t say anything. I always read brochures whenever we would go on trips and really enjoyed teaching people material that I learned.

They stop being cute and started being critical and cliquey. They stopped being everybody’s friend. Tutoring math was boring but good money. Teaching is hard because I have so much bullshit paperwork requirements coming from people who aren’t teachers. They inf lict bureaucratic nonsense

The kids make teaching good and the grownups ruin teaching. on actual teachers.

For example, you can’t say on a t-shirt, “I like big books and I cannot lie.” Our assistant principal would not let us say that for our National Hornor Society shirt. I went to college at the age of 17 at the end of August I was 21 years old when I graduated. Which was the night before the first day of school. I still always have nightmares before the first day of school. When I stop having the nightmares that means that I don’t care anymore. When I stop changing and

As I sat with Summer at Tigertown Moeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in January of 2016, she told me of all her potential as a child. Her family was

We can all learn from

always supportive of her

that. Sometimes we

career choices, which

think we are helping

included her decision

people make the right

to teach. Others seemed

decisions but if our ad-

to think it was below

vice is unwarranted, it

her. It didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t effect her

will only do harm. I want

choices. It only effected

to be the type of person

her relationships with

people are excited to tell

the negative people.

news to.

Why did you never choose to adopt or foster?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;THIS HAV THING IS A PERSON J

VING KIDS A TWO JOB.”

making new things is when I’m done. I’ll know that I need to do something different. My majors were always the same. I questioned it during different times and did like all these different personality quizzes and test. I had a life crisis and wanted to move to California because of pre-cal. I was undeclared at the beginning of my freshman year then education is what it turned into. I thought about teaching math because of job security. I started at Samford, looked at what was required for math,

Five year plans are nice, but don’t be too rigid or you’re not living. Loose five year plans are good. Life plans are always going to change.

The older I get the younger I feel. I’m in charge of all these kids, but sometimes I feel like I’m 12 pretending and everyone’s going along with it.

and it looked like a double major to teach math. That’s just

Most of us ignore the future. We fear the unknown, the dif-

pointless. I had a quarter life crisis when my mom was

ferent, which is where our problems come from. Anything we

having brain surgery. I hated Samford. I broke up with my

can’t control we don’t want to think about. We can’t control

boyfriend. I knew I was supposed to go to Samford so I could

it because we can’t control other people. This is why people

live at home while my mom was so sick, but I knew that ulti-

believe in alternate universes, because if we change one

mately I was always supposed to go to Auburn.

thing in effects so much. To a large extent, we can’t control

I only applied to Samford and didn’t apply to Auburn. Even though I used to borrow change from my family and put it in

ourselves because of the heart and the head conundrum. I can know, but the heart and the soul of the Id takes over.

my Auburn Piggie when I was little. The prestige of Samford

I’m the only person who is paid to talk about ideas for a

really appealed to me. My best friend was at Samford and

living. If I ask kids about their thoughts and to evaluate their

everybody at high school went nowhere. I knew that I needed

lives, I have to be willing to do it first. Charlie Hannah {her

to be close because of my mom’s brain surgery. Even if it was

mentor} said, “How lucky are we that we get to talk about

a little ways away from Birmingham, it wasn’t bad.

ideas for a living?”

At 33 I thought I would be married with six children. I just

Whatdo you do for a living? I wrangle cats. I have to find

like ‘em. I always wanted an even number, two is too few, four

ways to fix what the education system has done. What I do

would be okay. The opportunity hasn’t really come around

is creative strategic tooth extraction in which the patient

for me to meet someone. I started watching my friends

cannot know or feel pain or they will close up.

start to have kids, and I realized that I couldn’t do it alone. I needed a partner. This having kids thing is a two person job. I thought about having my eggs frozen because they say to have them frozen by 35, but it’s so expensive to have them stored. So I haven’t. That’s not the only way to have kids. I could adopt or foster. I feel like I have kids at school and Matt and Jamie’s {her friend} kidsand my nephew.

Teachers get all the time off because we get done in 10 months what others get done and 12. I work a 12 hour day at least one day a week. I don’t know any teacher that doesn’t have some kind of a therapist. Mine is a pill. My friend Julie runs every day, so I doesn’t kill everyone. It’s a hard job. I don’t think I would have done if I knew what I was in for. Most jobs are compensated by good pay. Most jobs when you

Through all the years I didn’t want to be a mom for selfish

leave you’re done. There are people who work fewer hours

reasons. Not to be a parent, but to have a life with them.

and aren’t as good as me, and they are paid more. The hours

I do to myself. I do it for the kids, which also may not be the truth. I also do it because I just have my cat. I always thought teaching was good for a family. If I worked like $48,000 a year, it would be fine. I work like Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m making more than $48,000 a year. If I broke it down, I would slit my wrists because of how little I make an hour. I chose what I wanted to do through the process of limitation not because I really wanted to be a teacher.

Summer feels exactly like I do about being a grown-up. The older I get, the less and less seriously I take myself. I think all the time about how I am 23, but I still tell people I am 19 accidentally.

Un-grown Ups | 4

ANTOINETTE HAWKINS I am 22.

I lived all over. A good part of my childhood through fifth grade we lived at an army fort in Georgia. Sixth grade through ninth, we lived in Brooklyn, New York. Tenth through twelfth grade we lived in Columbia, South Carolina. Now I live between Atlanta and Florida and Auburn. I have one sibling. I am the first. My parents are divorced. I wanted to be a vet from age three, “a pet doctor,” because I just loved animals. Did it always seem attainable? Yeah, when I was younger. I was a straight A student through middle school and an A/B student in high school. I went to college pre-vet. It seemed attainable until my junior/senior year of college. My parents and brother were very supportive. My parents were really supportive until I decided to change my mind. They always let me do whatever I wanted to do. Mom kept me on the academic path. My dad was supportive, and my little brother he was like, “YEAH! That’s my big sis.” I started to feel pressure, like I was disappointing them. But they didn’t feel that way at all. It was something that I inf licted upon myself. Now my mom wants me to do something with my degree, maybe go back to school or just get some kind of a job using my degree. Why did you choose Auburn? At Auburn, I was in zoology and then pre-vet. I guess I chose Auburn because they have an amazing vet school.

Antoinette graduated last summer and has a full-time job, but she is not using her degree as she planned. She feels like she was thrown into adulthood. I firmly believe that most people feel that way at some time throughout their lives. Whether itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the shock of high school or college, graduating without the next step planned, or parenthood.

Un-grown Ups | 4

Right now I don’t use my degree. The plan is to go to grad

When I think about the future I usually stress about it. I am

school for my masters in biology at Tuskegee. I could go for

very rarely at peace about it. But I know that God has a great

ethnology or herbology. Or I could become a research techni-

future for me and a plan for me.

cian. These aren’t my only options. I’ll probably go the scholastic route, but if I got a vet assistant job, I could do that. The only thing I thought about regarding where I would be now was that I always thought that I would be finished with my undergrad.

Right now is pretty transitional. I try not to look at it as a bad place. It’s a step toward something better. It’s a little bit of a lost spot just because it’s completely not on the path I thought I would be on. But I’m still thankful for it, because my needs are being met and it’s definitely making me grow.

Is your life what you thought it would be like? Probably not. I thought everyone over 18 years old had it all together. I know I’m an adult, but I still don’t feel like it. My life verse is Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV. The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

I think five year plans are good but personally I haven’t made one. It would be a good step towards getting to a goal. Life plans are always up to God.

No! I don’t feel like a grown-up. I am definitely feeling like I was tossed into the frying pan of adulthood totally unprepared.

Antoinette graduated

I actually have a heart to do something with the ministry—

feel that way at some

go on some mission trips. In the future, I think I will do that. It is in the back of my mind. I just don’t have a solid plan for it yet. If I didn’t have to work, I would love to go do mission work. I’d leave right now.

last summer and has a full-time job, but she is not using her degree as she planned. She feels like she was thrown into adulthood. I firmly believe that most people time throughout their lives. Whether that is the shock of high school or college, graduating without the next step planned or parenthood.

Un-grown Ups | 4

cataloging. Then I went to design school and worked at Slaughter Group. Then I went to grad school. During grad school I taught and did freelance. Then I came here to be a

ROBERT FINKEL

I just turned 36. I’m from Birmingham, Alabama. I have one older sister. My parents are married, probably around 37 years. What did I want to be as a kid? At what point? Astronomer for a while and then advertising, but I didn’t understand it. I just always loved art. I thought about being a National Park tour guide, a fire lookout, an architect. I shadowed an architect a lot. It all seemed very attainable. I always had good adults to talk to me about stuff. My parents got me in contact with all these different people that had different skills and were in different career fields. My parents were very supportive almost to a fault. They kept everything that I won. They saved everything from years and years ago. They hold onto everything. My parents were always safe. Their support was very inquisitive. They had this strange risk aversion. I am just now getting over their risk aversion. They never wanted me to go too far off the deep end. My parents always wanted me to pick the safe thing. In high school I typically just did yard work and then I

professor at Auburn University. My favorite was here so far. My least favorite was working in a restaurant. I came to college at 18 and I went to a liberal arts college. My parents pushed me to go beyond the suburbs. I picked three: astronomy, business administration, and anthropology. I got a D in astronomy and an F in economics. I lost all my Spanish in one summer. Anthropology was really interesting because people from different countries and time periods live so differently. So I majored in cultural studies and minored in history. Anthropology opened up everything I had known before. It’s very applicable. My friend wrote about a night at a bar as a way to interpret the day-to-day. I still believe in the humanities. I use my degree in anthropology because I deal with 45 of you students. We’re all different. Having to empathize with students, clients, 45 of us have 45 different ways of learning. We are all trying to make sense of the world in our own ways. With design you have to be so f luid to find different solutions all the time. Catering to all these different people can be

Every inclusion has an exclusion. At some point, you just have to pull the trigger and make some decisions. debilitating.

worked at different restaurants for a few stints. In college,

I teach and practice design every day. Like the talk I did in

I worked at a plant doing maintenance. I was a teacher’s

China. It’s all about community. I fit in by being a teacher

assistant for a geology professor. We’re still very close. After

and a designer and an active member of the design communi-

college I did an archaeology dig in Mississippi, digging and

ty. That we contribute is what matters.

Un-grown Ups | 4

My plans are always good but not necessary. Do I feel grown up? No, not at all which is terrible because I have two kids. I don’t feel this old. I still can’t make sense of my taxes. Cam Newton is 26 and going to the Super Bowl. I am 10 years older than him and I can barely get through the day without freaking out about knowing how to do something. I’m pretty in control of my emotions It’s like 80’s postmodern design. You get rid of what’s considered “right” and “wrong” and let them mold together. I try to deprogram you {his students} and myself from standardized testing and get us to ask the right questions. To be in charge of how you figure out this creativity, not if its right or wrong. Just figure out the right way to communicate something. That’s why Trump is doing so well. He’s confident. He answers with confidence and certainty, but uncertainty is okay. Anything we need to know we can look up immediately. At some point you have to do and create but the questions are good. Where did I see myself at my age? At 35? I had no idea, it goes back to cultural norms.

which makes me feel like I’m an adult, but not grown-up because there are kids younger than me that have accomplished

Maybe the emotional part is what makes you an adult and that’s the difference between an adult and a grown-up. I’m a total kid a lot more.

when I get home and I think it drives my wife crazy. I wish I could devote more time to my music in the future. Everything is about my kids right now but when they graduate, I’ll have more time to devote to my music. I think about a year or two out. Hopefully I’ll be tenured by

How do you feel about where you are right now? Quite

then and have a better salary. I think about how these little

content. Pretty good. Only thing I’d change is location and

things impact my family. I make sure all things have been

some of the politics. I wish there was pretty scenery, like

considered when we get there.

mountains. None of this is permanent. It comes back to 9/11.

All it takes is 19 hijackers to change the world.

I worry about my kids and how things will affect them. Like my kid told me the other day about how she was made fun of by these two boys at school, and it hurt her feelings.

Robert is a graphic design professor at Auburn University. Interviewing him helped me distinguish the aesthetic for “PLANS.” His comment about letting what’s considered right and wrong fall away and design what communicates the concept helped me cut any restraints and just design.

LYNN MONTGOMERY Do I really have to answer how old I am? Do I really? Okay, I’m 62. I’m an old fart! I’m from Jacksonville. My whole life I’ve lived in the south. I have three siblings. I’m the second, the oldest girl. Dad has gone to heaven and my mom remarried. I can’t ask for anyone better for my mom. It makes me feel better knowing he is with Mom and that she’s taken care of. Rachel, I have always wanted to be a teacher. The storage room in the garage at my parents house was converted into a classroom when I was a little girl. Each summer, me and my girlfriend would teach all of the other kids in the neighborhood in our little classroom. I’ll be retiring June 7 after 40 years of being a teacher. I’ll miss my kids but they have started micromanaging us teachers so much. And we test our poor babies to death, their just first graders. They shouldn’t be tested that much. Did it seem attainable? Always. Mom and Dad always knew I would be a teacher. I never thought there was anything else that I wanted to be. I grew up knowing that I wanted to be a teacher. My parents were extremely supportive. I almost quit after

I learned that I couldn’t love kids into behaving, which is more my personality. After seven years I went into insurance. my first year.

Lynn Montgomery is so full of life and fiercely

I went back to my school I was teaching at in November and

loves people.Even at

wanted a job. I started the next day. That’s God. Money is

62 she doesn’t feel like

not everything although it’s nice. That’s why I wanted to do

a grown-up. She is an adult physically but her soul is a spry 30 year old.

insurance, because the money would be good and teaching wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be like.

If my parents didn’t really encourage me I might not be a teacher right now, I might have given up. I went to college right after high school. At age 18, I went to the University of South Florida in Tampa. Originally, I wanted to work with handicapped kids. I did volunteer work with them and I couldn’t handle how emotional it was. So I chose early childhood education. When I was working with the handicapped kids, I would come home every day crying. It was just too much. I get to work with little six and seven-year-olds and teach them how to read. I get to work with kids and play. I try to make it as fun as possible. I’ve brought chickens and ducks in the classroom. I get to be a goof ball. If I acted like that in an office, they’d put me in an insane asylum. They are my kids. The author of Elf on a Shelf once came to my class because I won a contest. Originally, I saw myself at this age as being retired. To be honest, the only reason I’m retiring now is because the government went into my retirement fund. I almost have to retire, because I chose the D.R.O.P. Program and after I chose that I had to retire after five years.

Do you feel grown-up now? Ha ha ha yes, but also no.

I don’t feel like a grown-up—as long as I don’t look in the mirror or try to run— I feel like I am in my 30’s. And when I’m with my kids, I feel like I’m 12. But I guess at 62, I’m a grown-up. Do you think you will do something else later in life? No, I thought about working with kids who are struggling with reading and volunteering and helping my teammates. But I have to be unemployed from the school for a year. So

It’s sad because I can’t believe 40 years of teaching is almost

at first I will work at Treehouse Learning Center and help

over. I’ll just cry sometimes. It’s also weird to be old enough

struggling readers.

to retire, Rae.

That was hard for me, especially because I just had my

But I’m retiring because of the politics. Because of the grown-ups.

What do you think about five-year plans? You need to set a goal and work towards it. You can always change your goal but it gives you something to work towards. Life

birthday. I’m getting closer to the end of my life than the beginning. It’s a little scary. I recently lost one of my best high school friends but I’ve decided to live the best life I can with the time I’ve got left.

plans are always unsure. They are easy to attain if you work

By 62 I thought I would be a retired grandma. I thought I

towards it, but it has to be what you truly want or you won’t

would be able to travel and go wherever I wanted but it’s fine.

really work for it.

I have thoroughly loved teaching and it’s okay.

Un-grown Ups | 4

RACHEL HERRING At the begining of this book, I told you it is not about “poo-pooing” plans, and it’s not! I am still a planner. I promise. Even after writing this book, I have my next steps pretty much decided. This summer I am moving to NYC and to work on an in-house design team. I have planed visits with family members and weekend trips for T.J. and me. When I come back to Auburn in the fall, I will work on the same campaign I currently work on, and I will apply for jobs in NYC while working on my senior project. All that being said, I know it’s subject to change. Even the process for this book became a metaphor for the subject of it. It started as a 30 page booklet about what people wanted to be when they grew-up and became a 90 page publication about how different people planned and lived their lives. I tried my best not to force any elements or design anything that betrayed the concepts which are being communicated. Even the binding method is intentional and metaphorical—I’ll let you figure that one out on your own. I am so honored to tell the story of these 13 amazing people. All on different walks of life with different backgrounds from different parts of the world. This book would be nothing without these people and the contibutors of the book. Ultimately, PLANS is a printed reminder of a few things: if you ask the right questions and listen long enough, everyone will say something remarkable; enjoying life always trumps following a plan; to keep progressing, we have to be okay when plans change. We can’t hold on too tightly to the plan when it was just a means to an end. We make plans in search of a purpose, but we find our purpose through living not planning. Pencil your plans, live your life,

Rachel Herring

The Author

COLOPHON

This book was created in Design II at Auburn University. Body copy, Sentinel Light, Sentinel Light Italic, Sentinel Bold Italic, Sentinel Medium. Display text, Mr Eaves Mod OT Bold and Mr Eaves Mod OT Heavy Italic. Printing, April 25 2016 at McQuick Printing in Auburn, Alabama.

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