Confessions of a Bartender

Bartenders have seen it all, for better or worse. Here we delve a little deeper into the life of a bartender when they’re behind the stick. Completely anonyms, here he or she shares their gripes, hangover cures and industry gossip, so we get to know what really goes down.

DRINKS WORLD: What’s the most Risqué thing you have ever seen happen in a venue you have worked in?

BARTENDER: I won’t list what I’ve seen involving the people I have worked with. However, I did once walk in on a gentleman giving his friend a downstairs mouth hug in my stock room, which is the last thing you expect when you’re heading in to grab some gin.

DRINKS WORLD: You hate it when a customer orders a…

BARTENDER: Sambuca with an English accent. I am a firm believer in a customer’s right to choose, but you know where this interaction is going to end up...

DRINKS WORLD: What are your biggest pet peeves in the industry?

BARTENDER: Rude people, on both sides of the bar. Manners are free my friends, and will get you infinitely further than a credit card and a poor attitude.

DRINKS WORLD: What spirit or drink would you like to see make a comeback?

BARTENDER: The stinger. Every twelve months I remember how much I love it and order it non-stop for about three weeks before I’m disgusted with it again and refuse to drink it for another year, so it makes a kind of perennial comeback.

DRINKS WORLD: How many shifts do you think you have missed or called in sick because you were hung-over?

BARTENDER: Surprisingly in 15 years of bar work I’ve called in sick from a hangover only twice, and that was both in the last twelve months. I think age is finally starting to catch up with me. It’s surprising because I’ve worked with dislocated fingers and for two weeks with six broken bones in my right hand, but that’s more about me being a stubborn, bull-headed idiot than anything else.

DRINKS WORLD: Have you ever dated a co-worker?

BARTENDER: I could not think of anything worse. I try to avoid dating anyone in the industry, it only leads to trouble - and you’ll only end up having to divide up your favourite watering holes when it all eventually goes sideways.

DRINKS WORLD: Your alter ego is?

BARTENDER: I’m odd enough already without giving names to the voices in my head.

DRINKS WORLD: Hangover remedy?

BARTENDER: Pineapple flesh, coconut water, coconut oil, ginger. Blend it, suck it down, two shots of Fernet-Branca and an espresso and we’re ready to do it all again. Let’s rock and roll folks!