Let's start the school year strong with Rad Girl Collective's Back to School issue! While many of us have a love-hate relationship with academia, we can't argue that education has this transformative nature. From relationships and extracurriculars, to microaggressions in the classroom, RGC wants to express how education has shaped you.
How to Deal With University and Mental Illness khadija mohamed. University can definitely be a very stressful experience on its own, but paired with mental illness it can quickly turn into a huge monster looming over your every thought and further fueling your anxiety. Regardless of what your program is, dealing with your mental health while trying to stay on top of your readings is hard. When I deal with rather serious bouts of depression, the last thing on my mind is studying for a midterm, much less getting out of bed that day. To help you all get through these next few years of your life, whether you’re about to start or, like me, you’ve only got a year or two left, I’ve prepared a few tips to share with you because I want you to grow and flourish. So here are my top 3:
• make lists Lists are super helpful for planning your weekly schedule. You can take a list of all the things that you need to do that day and pin it to your desk or even just jot it down on a piece of scrap paper. During the hustle and bustle of the day, it’s really easy to forget all the tasks that you need to complete, and not everyone is lucky enough to wake up at 2AM remembering that they have an assignment due at noon. Not only that, but when my depression is at its worst, I can’t remember to shower or even eat at all. So make a list of things you have to do for yourself, because you are someone who needs care also, even more so than an assignment.
• use a calendar As soon as you get a syllabus for a class, make sure to take all of the important dates and write them on a calendar so when you flip to any given month, you have a quick snapshot of everything that needs to get done, and an idea of how long you have to do it. Remember to pace yourself, try not to leave things for the last minute and give yourself more stress. Also use your calendar to write down important appointments you have with a doctor, therapist or even a counselor. Remember to go to see them if you’re ever having problems, it can be a little scary at first but trust me, it’s worth it.
• take advantage of your school's academic accessibility center (if your school has one) The Academic Accessibility Center (AAC) is there to help you. After going to see a doctor/ therapist/councillor on campus and discussing your mental illness, they can help to register you with the AAC so that you can get extensions on your assignments/midterms if needed. They also recruit volunteer note-takers in your classes who scan their notes for you at the end of every week for you to use. For those of you who decide to volunteer as note takers, at the end of the semester you receive a certificate of registration and volunteer hours if that’s something your into (it also keeps you accountable for your own notes so you can stay on top of things). Remember, it’s more than okay to ask for help and accommodations!
times i kept to myself, or, victorian english, or, the moments i will never stop living. /
1: “remember, we all came from africa. so we all have a little savage within us, right?” what i said: nothing. what i did: tweeted something along the lines of ‘what the fuck?’ told myself that heart of darkness was bullshit anyway. sat through the rest of it until all i heard was white noise and the shaky beat of my own heart. left the room and walked downstairs to the senior lounge. lowered myself onto the couch. wondered why i was so tired.
/ 2: “isn’t hating john green the same as hating black people?” what i said: “no... maybe. i don’t know.” what i did: dodged her response and the wide-eyed gaze of our friend as i walked to class. volunteered to stand at the white board and write. listened as she asked me over and over again. glanced at the doorway as she walked by. made eye contact. didn’t look away. felt something pulse red and burning.
3: “what did she do?” “i don’t know, i heard she was anti-semitic, or something.” “she’s jewish, she can’t be anti-semitic!” what i said: “i told you i didn’t remember. she’s racist, probably-“ what i did: blocked out the laughter of the entire english class. held in tears, just barely. told myself very sternly not to get up and leave the room. sighed in relief when the teacher arrived. once home, blogged: ‘two words: natalie portman. worst. day. ever.’ double-checked the receipts over, and over, and over again. came to school the next day prepared. nobody asked.
/ 4: she never asked if anyone would like to read their piece out loud. what i would have said: “yes,” or, “can i go first?” or, maybe nothing until the “okay, just one more.” what i did: kept the phrases of beloved, carefully gathered and rearranged into another mourning, to myself. thought how toni had known all along, about the little black girls who had lost their ribbons. asked myself the questions. mouthed them to the air. wondered if i was the only one who heard the truth in baby suggs’s last words. kept it to myself.
7/30/14 - kai
Powder Doom back-to-school makeup looks
powderdoom.tumblr.com
LY D IA
My favourite part of back to school season was and is getting the chance to start over and try out a new look. After getting all my school supplies ready, I’d plan a killer outfit and cool make-up to match.
Although I won’t be going back to class this September, I’ve got renewal and change on my mind. Arabelle will always be the ruler of red eye shadows, and I was inspired to follow suit. I’ve used Topshop Matte Eyes in Painted with Revlon Colorburst Matte Balm in Shameless for a blush based subversive look. Paired with filled in brows, I like to think of this look as off duty omnificent being.
is Wearing
Topshop Matte Eyes in Painted Revlon Colorburst Matte Balm in Shameless
PHOTOS OF LYDIA BY: Jacquie Shaw (http://www.jacquieshaw.com)
It’s that time of the year again when you find yourself staring at that pile of textbooks and worrying about deadlines for those 15-page papers. It can be difficult as a girl or woman of color to navigate through academic settings with confidence, as it is not so often that we are acknowledged in wholeness; our identities and stories are not embraced or visible or told with entirety and truth. You ARE wonderful and so, so worthy, even when the world tries to convince you and may even make you believe otherwise. And whether you’re in school or not, know that you are far greater than the toxicity that surrounds you. Each day, you will shine bright and brighter than before. You will be the sun, whether your oppressors see it or not. Anyway, they’re not even the slightest bit deserving of your warmth.
Kham is Wearing:
NYX Primal Colors in Hot Red Fergie Wet N Wild Desert Festival Palette Wet N Wild Megalast Lipstick in Bare It All (902C) NYX Butter Gloss in Raspberry Tart
KH AM
Sade is wearing Naked 2 Palette Sephora Black Eyeliner
This look is a very simple (and quick) makeup look to do when you’re in a rush but want dramatic makeup fast. I used the Naked 2 Palette to create this look along with a black liquid liner from Sephora. You’ll want to use a light brown/beige colour all over the lid then work in a little black pigment in the crease area little by little and build it up until you get the desired smokiness. Add some mascara to your lashes and highlighter to your brow bone to make it pop and to the tops of your cheekbones. For added drama, contour your cheeks and add a tiny bit of peach blusher. To finish wear your favourite nude lipgloss and you’re good to go!
sade
M i a
Blue heaven baby, When’d it get to be so cold? I’ll paint you spring flowers So they don’t wither and grow old. Poppies in the kitchen sink, Daisies on the bathroom floor, You’ll sleep in a bed of roses Once I blot out all the thorns.
But where have all my flowers gone? Have my acrylics now wilted? Petals quivering under my felt pen tip, Of a more brilliant garden you are befitted. So close your eyes, my blue heaven baby You don’t deserve to see petals fall And flowers wither where they once stood tall.
My love for language, particularly flowery language and beautiful imagery, grew in the classroom and then extended to the home. My teachers have always encouraged me to continue my writing ,and have exposed me to a wide array of poetry and prose, something I’m extremely thankful for.
CLAUDIA AGE 18
Coming from a somewhat religious elementary school in Peru, to a catholic elementary school in Canada to finally an all girls, catholic high school, my love for academia went from ardent to non-existent. When I started school, I rose early and got ready in an instant; I couldn’t wait to go to school and learn. After the big switch that was moving countries, I adapted rather well to school and the environment. And when I moved to high school, I couldn’t wait to learn and have as great a time as I had had up until then. However, as the years passed, I realized how my school helped the privileged — whoever gave the most money to the building. It was towards the end of my senior year that I couldn’t take it anymore. My depression worsened and I started to skip school, skip entire classes so I wouldn’t have a panic attack or to simply smoke. As my grades plummeted and my suicidal thoughts got stronger, I barely got help from the counselors at school or teachers. It took me breaking down at my “graduation interview” and telling the counselor that my plan was to be dead by twenty for them to do something. But what is it that they did? They gathered all my unfinished coursework and gave me a low B regardless of how little work I had done, they ignored my absences (over 40 total) and gave me a Good for work habits, and they did my graduation transitions for me. They said “I’m sorry” and hastily brushed me under the rug. I graduated with hatred and relief in my heart and a cigarette in hand. Later, talking to my therapist, I found out that my school is known for asking students to leave the school if they do not do well academically.They were being nice to me; I was supposed to be grateful they didn’t ask me to leave halfway through my senior year.
Now I’m left scared, alone, and with no love for academia. And I’m supposed to get through university like this?
Alonna Cole is a Harlem Based photographer with a BFA in Fine Art Photography from SUNY Purchase. Her work focuses primarily on the everyday moments within the black experience seeking to dissect and understand what normalcy is within the spectrum of blackness. Her interest lies in shedding light on moments of beauty, stillness, and humanity in an quiet yet intimate manner.
Images submitted Title: Marion (or Graduation) Type: Diptych Date 2013 contact: alonnacole.tumblr.com
I never felt at home in this junior college, and I don’t think I ever will. This is the year I’m supposed to prove my worth to the world (or at least the government of Singapore), take my A-Levels and then steamroll my competition over in pursuit of a university education. So why is it that the train journey to school is about the most terrifying hour of my day? One look at him and I can feel my body going cold and numb, my vision blurring and the panic coursing through my veins. We were supposed to be perfect: him and I. Power couple is what our classmate called us when we topped our cohort for English Literature last year, him and I. Seven months after the breakup and I still cry when I think about it, still rely on my Effexor to keep me uplifted and my Xanax to keep me from breaking down. Masking racism with tradition, his family declared that he and I were simply not compatible: he is Chinese and I’m Indian. So much for the racial harmony this country preaches. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to reach my full potential and score the grades I know I could, if not for this disaster (and it’s not just the breakup, but my mental health issues that preceded it). Now every time I go to school, I hide in places where no one will find me, avoiding the judgemental stares of the school’s rugby team- his teammates. I avoid his friends, I avoid mine. I avoid our class. I avoid responsibility and I avoid studying. Scratch that, maybe I’m just unable to study. Or maybe saying that I can’t focus is precisely me avoiding it. But one thing I can’t avoid is my feelings for him. I wish I could, because he’s still scoring his A-grades, and I’m still failing because I’m so overwhelmed. I’m feeling so overwhelmed.
d r i m a
Little Things caroline
New semester meaning new stationary Fresh breath after brushing your teeth Signs of fall approaching Looking at old pictures of yourslef when you were younger Eating a spoonful of pomegranates Long weekends Finally being able to teach your dog a trick “Do you really like her?” “She fills up all my days.” Putting your hand in a bag of rice “Another Rainy Day” by Corinne Bailey Rae Feeling overwhelmed with happiness for no apparent reason Small reminders of encouragement Receiving surprise parcels
it’s hard for me to look back on high school for a lot of reasons. ”the things i learned” is about how, after 17 years of studying what people told me was important, i haven’t learned anything that i feel like i should know. even if studying saved me from facing the things that scared me the most, it didn’t prepare me for that weird world of “after school” — in fact, it probably did the opposite. i am an adult, but i still feel like a child. that’s okay because no matter what, i never want to stop learning. no matter how central “school” has always felt to me, there are things that exist beyond it, and i am ready to face them.
artist: higu rose. traditional x digital. swamp monster.net | vagrats.tumblr.com
ASSESS ME Hannah Le Feuvre
issue 3 mix palo alto Devonte Hynes Baby love child Pizzicato five Park (with mitsuko koike) TOWA TEI NAVY KILO KISH PRETTY GIRLS LITTLE DRAGON STILLNESS IN THE MOVE SOLANGE JIBUN GA INAI SALYU X SALYU ME ERYKAH BADU QUI DORM, NOMES SOMIA DEERHOOF
listen: @ashadiary on soundcloud
sam* Hello! I’m Sam, the Creative Director for Rad Girl Collective’s third issue: BACK TO SCHOOL . I am a seventeen year-old high school student currently living in Los Angeles. With creative freedom, I was able to showcase the elements and stylistic approaches to design that I identify myself with. I find beauty in minimalism clashed with vibrancy, which I find correlates with Rad Girl Collective’s message. Working on this issue was an amazing experience, and I hope you enjoyed it!
contact:
DOTTEDPOLO .TUMBLR.COM
radgirlcollective.org issuu.com/radgirlcollective twitter.com/radgirlco facebook.com/pages/Rad-Girl-Collective
Contributors (in order of appearance) Khadija Mohamed Kai Powder Doom: Lydia, Kham, Sade Mia Claudia Alonna Cole, Drima Caroline Higu Rose Hannah Le Feuvre Asha and Kelley