Bridesmaid Publication

BRIDESMAID A Guide Made For When She Said Yes

Proper Etiquette of a Bridesmaid How to Be the World’s Best Bridesmaid Bachelorette Party Checklist

Congrats, You’re A Bridesmaid!

Here’s What You Signed Up For, and What You Can Skip

By Kim Fusaro

9 Tips to Be the Best Bridesmaid

Bridesmaid filled with emotion for her best friend’s big day.

Spring 2019

Features 103 Cover Story Congrats, You’re a Bridesmaid. Here Are the Jobs You’ve Signed Up For—and the Ones You Can Skip

By Kim Fusaro

160 How To Be the World’s Best Bridesmaid

By Lexi Petronis

207 Bachelorette Party Planning Checklist

by Amy Elliott

273 Proper Etiquette and Attitude of a Bridesmaid

By Debby Mayne

380 9 Tips for Being the Best Bridesmaid Ever

By Casey Cavanagh

395 How to Be an Awesome Maid of Honor

By Davia Montaya

Illustration by Raegan Ricer

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In This Issue

The BEST Boards On Pinterest Bridesmaid 101

Bridesmaids Board

Day of Do’s and Don’ts

The Bridesmaid Board

The Ultimate Budget Guide

THE BRIDESMAIDS

The 8 Mistakes Bridesmaids Always Make

Bridesmaid’s Board

By Priya 100

By Kennedy Blue 101

By Jen Glantz 102

Bridesmaid Dress Measuring Tips

By Dublin City Hall 190

By Cassablanca Bridal 193

By Davie and Chiyo 198

By Tammy McQuaid 204

Bridesmaid Board

By Melanie Marie 207

By Bird Grey 102

Leading Up To the Wedding Seasons Trends 10 Trends for Spring Weddings

By Kristen O’Gorman Klein 120

5 Spring Bridesmaid Dress Trends to Try This Season

By Carolyn Hsu 125

7 rules For Shopping For Bridesmaid Dresses

By Kleinfeld Bridal Party 130

Floral-Print Bridesmaid Dresses for Spring Weddings

By Kleinfeld Bridal Party 160

If You’re Hosting a Bridal Shower, Read This

By The Knot 211

Bachelorette Party Planning Basics

By The Knot 221

Your Biggest Rehearsal Dinner Questions, Answered

By The Knot 245

Bridesmaid Planning Timeline

By Sharon Naylor 273

In Every Issue From Lilly 378 Editor’s Letter 392 Throwback 400

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Spring 2019

Illustration by Raegan Ricer

Bridesmaid 101

BRIDESMAID 101 DAY OF DO’S AND DON’TS

By Piya Well gang, Bridesmaid 101 has been fun. We’ve talked about what the hell you should do first when someone asks you to be their bridesmaid, I made you earn your champagne for the Bachelorette party, we confirmed that Bridal Showers don’t have to be a drag, and y’all had plenty to say about bridesmaid gifts you’ve given & loved (and I shared my list too.)

All with the end goal of being the sister you never had, remember?

Okay, or at least maybe teaching you a little something from my “time in the trenches” as a bridesmaid. I hope it’s been helpful for you, whether you’re a bridesmaid rookie, the inspiration behind 27 Dresses, or anywhere in between. To conclude my Bridesmaid 101 series, here are some general Do’s and Don’ts for THE BIG DAY. DON’T prioritize your getting

ready too highly. I know you want to look good, but if the bride needs a pinch hitter to help with a distant relatives’ makeup, or fixing her hair before the first look, that is really more important that perfecting your contour. Sorry but, it’s not YOUR wedding.

DON’T forget to stuff some tissues in your bouquet or dress. I always cry, but even if you don’t, someone at the altar is gonna need them!

DON’T grimace when you’re walking down the aisle! I know it can be a bit nerve-wracking and there’s a lot going on between not tripping over your dress/ heels, walking slowly, and linking arms with a hunky groomsman, but, you’re having fun and you’re happy to be celebrating your friends, right?

DON’T leave the reception before the newlyweds make their exit.

Bridesmaids sitting at dinner waiting for the arrival of the newlywed couple. Photo by Allison Loase.

DO try on your entire ensemble

BEFORE the day of the wedding.

Your dress, obviously, but include undergarments, accessories, shoes, etc. You don’t want any issues on your part detracting from any group photos!

DO for the love, show up early or on time per the bride’s request.

She has more important things to worry about besides her bridesmaids showing up on time! And bring her some coffee, duh.

DO be on hand/available for any last minute errands that might pop up!

DO keep the tunes bumping and the mood light while getting ready! Think of yourself as the personal hype-woman of this entire wedding/marriage. Act accordingly.

DO open up the dance floor, if it needs a little help getting the party started. Hype-woman, remember?

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Bridesmaid 101

THE ULTIMATE BUDGET GUIDE

By Kennedy Blue

Congratulations! You’re a bridesmaid! Get ready for some major girl-bonding time, epic party planning, crafting, and just a whole lot of fun overall! There are a ton of great perks that come with being a ‘maid, but it’s not all fun and games. You occasional will have to play therapist for the bride, you might not see eye-to-eye with another bridesmaid while planning the bachelorette, and you may be tasked to do things that you’re not so keen on doing. But overall, those are easy things to get past and as part of your bridesmaid duties, you should graciously do them with that smile of yours.

However, there is one slightly minor and kinda huge downfall to being a bridesmaid: the money.

Don’t get me wrong! In the end, it’s totally worth it, but being aware of the financial strain that being a bridesmaid could cause (especially if you aren’t financially ready for it!) is definitely a good thing to know!

That being said, before you 100% commit yourself to standing beside your friend at the alter, it’s important that you know what you’re getting yourself into.

DRESS & ALTERATIONS

What’s Involved: Your bridesmaid dress and any necessary alterations. A hem, strap adjustment, and side-seam adjustment are common alterations for a bridesmaid dress.

Who Pays: Usually the bridesmaid is on her own for this one. If the bride chooses a dress that she wants all the ‘maids to wear and it’s a bit out of budget, they’ll often pitch in, but I wouldn’t rely on that.

Cost: $150-$300. You can get a great dress for around $150-$200, but expect to pay anywhere from $20-$100 for alterations.

Ways to Save: Ask around and try to find a seamstress who is super affordable. If you have one in the family or a friend of a friend, even better! As far as dresses go, watch out for deals, but don’t put off ordering just so you can save $10-15. You might end up not even being able to get a dress in time!

BRIDAL SHOWER

What’s Involved: Any split costs for the venue rental, food, drinks, and a gift.

Who Pays: It depends. A bridal shower is often hosted by the MOH or family member

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Bridesmaid peering through the curtains to keep watch on the groom. Photo by Thomas William

of the bride, but more often than not, the bridesmaids are asked to pitch in. Regardless of who pays for the event, you should always bring a gift, though.

Cost: $30-$150. Depending on who’s footing the majority of the expenses, expect to pay at minimum for a gift and much more if all the expenses are being split evenly.

Ways to Save: Ask to be involved with the planning. The more you’re involved, the more say you’ll have in the budget and can find cheaper options for venues, food, etc.

The best option? Host the event in someone’s home and cater the event yourselves!

BACHELORETTE PARTY

What’s Involved: Drinks, food, transportation (cabs or Uber), overnight accommodations,

any other day events, airfare, an outfit, and decorations.

Who Pays: The bridesmaids should cover the entire event. The only thing the bride should pay for is airfare if it’s a weekend getaway.

Cost: $75-$400+. At minimum, all you’ll need to pay for is a night of dinner and drinks. If there’s airfare and hotels involved, expect to pay $400-$1000.

Ways to Save: Ask around and try to find a seamstress who is super affordable. If you have one in the family or a friend of a friend, even better! As far as dresses go, watch out for deals, but don’t put off ordering just so you can save $10-15.

Bridesmaid 101

BRIDESMAID DRESS MEASURING TIPS 8 MISTAKES BRIDESMAIDS MAKE

By Jen Glantz

Often times, weddings are always filled with emotions and spur of the moment actions. Remember these eight things when living through your best friend’s big day.

By Bird Grey Found the perfect bridesmaid dress? Great! Now let’s make sure that it fits. Here are our top tips for how to measure yourself for a bridesmaid dress.

Before you get started, you’ll want to wear something form-fitting to get the most accurate measurements. Also, don’t pull the measuring tape too tight around your body. You’ll want to give yourself some wiggle room so that you can breathe.

There are four metrics to consider when measuring yourself for a bridesmaid dress: your bust, waist, hips and dress length.

You Don’t Listen to the Bride When the bride says she wants a quiet and simple bachelorette party, somewhere with bottles of wine and cucumbers over her eyes — don’t go off and plan a night out at the hottest club in Las Vegas. Listen to her, even if it’s not what you want to do — or what you “think” she really wants.

BUST

Wrap the measuring tape around the fullest part of your bust (usually right above the nipple). Note, this is not your bra size.

You Talk Behind the Bride’s Back Even if you find yourself frustrated or overwhelmingly annoyed with the bride, avoid chatting about her behind her back or hosting a vent session with another bridesmaid.

WAIST

You Order Your Bridesmaid Dress Late Order your bridesmaid dress as soon as you can, since it usually takes between three and four months for your dress to arrive. The later you order it, the more you may need to generate a back up plan that includes sewing fabric together to make it yourself.

Wrap the tape around the small of your waist, usually an inch above your bellybutton.

HIPS

Wrap around the widest part of your hips.

You Wear Uncomfortable Shoes If you want to wear shoes that are more cute than they are comfortable, be sure to load up on the Band-Aids or pack a pair of flats so that when the blisters start to tag along or you want to break it down on the dance floor, you’re prepared.

DRESS LENGTH

Your dress length is taken from your shoulder (or top of the neckline, if you’re going strapless) down to the hemline.

You Don’t Use Your Strengths to Help the Bride Out Whether you’re good at doing DIY crafts, writing speeches, or using excel to manage budgets or organize a to-do list, the easiest and most supportive way to help out the bride, is to offer help in areas that you are awesome at.

You Don’t Take Time to Enjoy Yourself In the end, this whole thing is one giant celebration. Take some time to enjoy yourself and people around you.

Illustration by Raegan Ricer

Illustration by Raegan Ricer

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You’re a Bridesmaid!

Here is what you said yes to…

Kim Fusaro

and what you can say no to.

Bridesmaid holding thumbs up and down relating to the good times and bad times of being a bridesmaid. Photo by Raegan Ricer.

A

greeing to be a bridesmaid is like signing on for a part-time {ahem, unpaid} job. And that can suck. A bridesmaid isn’t an actual maid—and sometimes brides seem to forget that. Still, if you’ve agreed to be in the wedding party, you need to put in some money and effort. Here’s what to expect in the months leading up to the wedding:

THINGS YOU HAVE TO DO IF YOU’RE A BRIDESMAID If you don’t want to do any of these six things, politely decline when you’re asked to be in the wedding party.

Buy a bridesmaid dress—and don’t complain about it.

Though some brides will cover the cost of the dress, it’s generally expected (especially in the Northeast, in our experience) that each bridesmaid pays for her own dress, within reason. (And “within reason” will depend on the bridesmaids’ age, employment status, etc.)

Show up for the wedding—and dance, damn it. Unless there’s a death in your immediate family or you go into labor, your butt better be at the ceremony and reception, and you better be dancing. (At the latter, not the former.

That would be awkward.) Sometimes a mellow crowd needs a few “sympathy dancers” to hit the dance floor and get the party started. The wedding party should always be a part of that group.

Help plan and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party. The maid (or matron) of honor is in charge of the parties, but bridesmaids are expected to have ideas, give feedback, help decorate, chip in cash, and assist with the hostess duties. If you’re on a limited budget, be up front about it. (“I’m excited for Lauren’s shower. I know we all have great ideas, so let’s try to set a budget right away so we don’t bankrupt ourselves before the wedding.”) In some cases the mother of the bride or groom will kick in funds for the shower—or even offer to host—but this is the exception, not the expectation.

Attend the bridal shower, bachelorette party, wedding rehearsal, and rehearsal dinner, unless there are major constraints. The bride can’t demand that every bridesmaid be at every pre-wedding event, but you should do your absolute best to be at all of them. (The exception, IMO, is if the bride is having multiple showers. If that’s the case, attending one shower is sufficient.) If you’re a plane or long train ride away or, say, the bridal shower conflicts with a marathon you’ve been training for for months, you get a pass. And a rowdy bachelorette party isn’t mandatory for bridesmaids who are pregnant or brand-new moms. (“Brand-new” meaning they have a newborn at home. Put on your dancing shoes—at least for a few hours—if your kid is older than, say, six months.)

Pay for your own transportation and accommodations on the night of the wedding. The bride can’t ask you to camp out in Cabo San Lucas on your dime for the week of A smiling bridesmaid enjoying her best friend’s big day.. Photo by: Omar Lopez.

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The Additional Roles You Will Have If You Are the Maid of Honor 1. Accompany the bride to wedding appointments.

2. Get the bridesmaids involved.

3. Throw a fun bachelorette party.

4. Help the bride-to-be forget her numerous to-do lists and just have fun!

5. Be the bridesmaids’ go-to gal.

6. Rock your reception speech.

7. Go the extra mile on the big day.

Being a maid of honor is truly an honor.

And although it may consist of many responsibilities, the role can lend itself to being extraordinarily fun and rewarding.

Certainly, it’s not meant to be a full-time job, so it’s important to comprehend exactly which duties will fall on you and share the tasks with the rest of the bridal party. If you’re ever wondering where to turn next or how to help, call and check in with the bride. You’re there for her, and she is there for you as well.

Bridesmaid zipping up the bride’s dress on the wedding day.

Photo by: Veronica Lynn Photography

Two bridesmaids filled with emotion, thinking about the wedding for their best friend. Photo by: Omar Lopez.

her wedding. But if the wedding is far from home, you should expect to spring for an overnight stay. It’s the bride’s job to say up front that bridesmaids’ expenses include a hotel stay.

Listen to a little bit of bitching. The bride probably can’t complain to her groom without sparking a fight, so it’s your job to open a bottle of wine and put on your listening ears. That said, if the bride is incessantly whining about her horrible mother-in-law or her thoughtless groom or the vendors that are out to get her, it’s within a bridesmaid’s rights to say, “Wedding planning REALLY seems to be stressing you out. Let’s take a break from wedding talk and go for a run/get our nails done/ watch a Bachelorette marathon.”

Catching a glimpse at the scenery. Photo by: Omar Lopez.

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THINGS A BRIDE CAN REASONABLY EXPECT FROM HER BRIDESMAIDS You can get away with saying no to all of these—but the bride is definitely allowed to put in the requests. (And you can’t bitch behind her back if she does!)

Help choose bridesmaid dresses. The bride is allowed to just pick a dress without consulting the crew, but if she does ask for your input, don’t barrage her with wont’s. (“I won’t wear spaghetti straps! Or an A-Line skirt! Or any color that’s not black!”) Instead, let her know about things that make you MAJORLY uncomfortable. (“I’d really love it if we could find a non-strapless dress. If you fall in love with something strapless, I’d be happy to have straps added.”)

Pay for bridesmaid “extras,” including shoes, and getting your hair, makeup, and nails professionally done, if all are affordable. Do you want to pay for any of the above? Meh, probably not. But if the bride keeps the cost of the bridesmaid dress down and asks you to pick some gold shoes and get an up-do, she’s not being unreasonable. If any are out of your budget, you should definitely speak up. But don’t moan and groan if she asks you to get a manicure. (And if you really don’t want to do any of the above, that’s fine, but be prepared to offer alternatives. “Money is tight so I’d rather do my own nails.” “Is it OK if I wear nude shoes instead of gold?”)

Attend the engagement party, unless there are major constraints. Engagement parties are becoming more popular, but they’re usually hosted by family. As a VIP, however, you’re still expected to be there unless you have a major conflict.

Help the bride shop for her wedding dress and accessories, within reason. You don’t have to tag along for a tour of all 14 local bridal boutiques—especially if there are bunch of other people who will be there. But if the bride asks you to join her for a fitting or to help her choose between two gowns.

Help the bride with a few wedding related tasks. The bride can’t insist that you to address invitations, design the program, assemble favors, etc. But it’s not crazy of her to ask (very sweetly) if you’d mind lending a hand. If she seems like the type who’s going to dish out a lot of DIY jobs, let her know up front what you’re free to do: “I’m looking forward to helping with your wedding. I’d love to assemble the invitations, once it’s time.” If you say, “I’m happy to help with EVERYTHING!” you can’t be annoyed when she expects you to.

Speak at the rehearsal dinner. This is definitely NOT on the must-do list, but if the maid of honor is giving a wedding-day toast, the bride might ask someone lower on the totem pole to speak the night before.

If public speaking makes you want to pee your pants, just let her know.

Give a shower and wedding gift. You can adjust the amount you spend depending on the cost of the dress and accessories and whether there’s a hotel stay involved, but I think it’s nice for the bridesmaids to give something. If money starts to get tight—and even if it isn’t—it’s perfectly acceptable for the bridesmaids to chip in for a group shower gift and/or a group wedding gift. To avoid overspending, decided how much you’re going to spend on all the gifts ahead of time. Don’t buy a $100 shower gift and then complain, “Ugh, she expects a wedding gift too?”

In the realm of weddings, there are plenty of amazing resources for brides. But what about the bridal party attendants? They are instrumental in making the big day one filled with friendship and love, but they often receive minimal guidance. Maids of honor, you’ve come to the right place: I’m excited to share my tips with you all.

As one of the most integral bridal confidants, the maid of honor acts as the bride’s right-hand woman throughout the planning process. Likewise, she assumes a leadership role within the bridal party to

ensure that everyone is on the same page. Last but not least, she has the privilege of honoring the newlyweds with a speech on the day of their wedding. Although such an extensive list of duties may feel overwhelming at first, proper planning, organization, and a loving attitude will help usher MOHs through this process with ease and grace. If you start to feel your heart flutter in the face of these many tasks, just relax — we’re here to help!

First thing’s first: When it comes to bridal party roles, there really are no set “rules.” Each bride has a different take on which task she would like to assign to whom. The best advice that I can give to leading ladies is to ask before assuming anything. For example, the maid of honor traditionally hosts the bridal shower unless she’s a relative of the bride, in which convention suggests that someone else take the torch for this event. The reason for this little caveat lies in not wanting the bride’s family to come across as greedy in trying to garner more gifts for the bride. Of course, in modern times, it is socially acceptable for a relative to host the shower. Ultimately, it depends on what kinds of traditions the bride feels are most important to them, and those involved. If the mother of the bride wants to host the bridal shower, then your role may be to help with securing invitations and RSVP, instead. Even though there will be many more appointments than a maid of honor could likely attend, it’s certainly nice to accompany the bride whenever possible. If she doesn’t ask, then it’s not necessary to insist on going, but it never hurts to offer extra help. The kinds of appointments that a maid of honor might choose to attend are decor and event rentals, venue visits and of course, dress fittings. These are just a few fun and meaningful experiences that you can experience together.

Pretty much anything in the sphere of planning for the big day is fair game, although the bride will (or should) understand if not all dates can be met. Additionally, some brides want their maid of honor to help them pick out bridesmaid dresses (although some may also want to choose independently), and help coordinate with the groomsmen.

Remember being the new kid at school?

Well, that’s sort of what it can feel like for some bridesmaids if they have never met before and that’s not an equation for fun! My advice is to organize a get-together so that everyone can get acquainted before the pre-wedding events. If there are bridesmaids who live far away, then consider planning a special bridal party activity while everyone is in town for the bridal shower, instead, such as a dinner, wine-tasting trip or spa day. Another great way to get the ladies involved is to ask for their help planning the bridal shower or bachelorette party. Although it’s always most useful to have someone at the helm, steering the event, it’s also important to delegate aspects of the preparation. If one of the ladies is a great baker, have her take the lead on the dessert bar. A craft-savvy attendant can create a fun gift-opening backdrop. Not only does this help everyone feel included but a lot more can be accomplished together as a team.

Traditionally, the maid of honor is responsible for organizing the bachelorette party, booking any reservations and coordinating with the bridal party. Along these lines, it’s customary for the maid of honor to collect funds for the party from all of the bridesmaids, understanding that not everyone may be able to contribute equally. If it’s an outof-town excursion, then it’s necessary to touch base with the bride before setting firm plans, especially if the pooled funds don’t cover the entire cost of the trip. Regardless of where you decide to throw a bachelorette party, it’s a good idea to work out all of the travel, food, lodging, and activity logistics with the bridal party in advance. That way, the bride can just focus on having fun. Whether you opt for a low-key local hot spot, a soothing spa retreat or a wild and crazy destination, it will be a time full of wonderful memories for the bride and her best friends!

There are going to be times when your friend might go on and on about the dress, the guest list, the cake, etc. It’s crucial to serve as a sounding board and a person that she can trust and come to for advice.

“…organize a get-together so that everyone can get acquainted before the pre-wedding events.”

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However, it’s equally important to help the bride keep calm and not get completely swept away by the planning process. You’re probably already aware of all the bride’s looming wedding appointments and deadlines but when was the last time that the two of you just watched a silly movie or chatted about celebrity gossip? It’s okay to take a breather and just enjoy girl time without any wedding talk.

If you think scheduling one dress fitting is tough, imagine adding on six other ladies all living in different cities! Take control of helping everyone plan their hair appointments and making sure that everyone has the proper shoes, jackets, nail polish color, etc. The bride will be beyond grateful to have someone else managing all of these small details. Some of my favorite maids of honor that I’ve worked with have been those who manage all of the correspondence between the bride and bridal party regarding the wedding time-line, pre-wedding parties and general responsibilities. From the bride’s perspective, it’s a tremendous relief to know that they have someone else they can go to with an emergency or question. Another benefit of this secret communication is that you can arrange a few surprises for the bride throughout this process! For example, I know maids of honor who have hired a photographer for the bridal shower or treated the bride to an in-room massage on the morning of the big day.

One of the parts that maids of honor fear most about their role is delivering a speech at the wedding. Although public speaking can be daunting, this is an opportunity to make it treasurable for the bride. My best advice is not to wing it, even if you think you can pull it off! At the very least, jot down key points that you can refer to throughout your speech so that you stay on topic. Some of the best speeches I’ve heard throughout my career as a wedding planner have been the most classic, simple and genuine in context. Talk about the love the two share and their best qualities individually and how it makes them the best couple they could be. Speak from your heart, and it will be beautiful! I would recommend leaving out any and all jokes about embarrassing the bride or sharing secrets; it’s just awkward and not the right time or place for it. Have a glass or two of champagne if you need to put your nerves to rest but don’t down a whole bottle of liquor or shots of tequila pre-speech. You don’t want to be that cringe-worthy inebriated speech-giver that everyone is watching in horror!

Between nerves, lack of sleep, excitement and alcohol, getting the bride to eat is one of the hardest things to do! Having someone there to remind her to have a protein-fueled breakfast or snack and stay hydrated will be a lifesaver come ceremony time. Also, if your bride doesn’t have a wedding planner, it’s a nice gesture to offer to be her emergency contact. That way, you can help traffic any small, overlooked details so that she doesn’t have to worry about constantly being in planning mode. Last but not least, encourage the new Mr. and Mrs. to spend some cherished time alone. Tell them to go stand on the outskirts of their wedding, up on a balcony overlooking the party, or outside looking in through the windows. They will be forever grateful to take a step back and take in this amazing celebration, surrounded by those they love most in the world.

Being a maid of honor is truly an honor. And although it may consist of many responsibilities, the role can lend itself to being extraordinarily fun and rewarding. Certainly, it’s not meant to be a full-time job, so it’s important to comprehend exactly which duties will fall on you and share the tasks with the rest of the bridal party. If you’re ever wondering where to turn next or how to help, call and check in with the bride.

You’re there for her, and she is there for you as well.

In the realm of weddings, there are plenty of amazing resources for brides. But what about the bridal party attendants? They are instrumental in making the big day one filled with friendship and love, but they often receive minimal guidance. Maids of honor, you’ve come to the right place: I’m excited to share my tips with you all.

As one of the most integral bridal confidants, the maid of honor acts as the bride’s right-hand woman throughout the planning process. Likewise, she assumes a leadership role within the bridal party to ensure that everyone is on the same page. Last but not least, she has the privilege of honoring the newlyweds with a speech on the day of their wedding. Although such an extensive list of duties may feel overwhelming at first, proper planning, organization, and a loving attitude will help usher MOHs through this process with ease and grace. If you start to feel your heart flutter in the face of these many tasks, just relax — we’re here to help!

First thing’s first: When it comes to bridal party roles, there really are no set “rules.” Each bride has a different take on which task she would like to assign to whom. The best advice that I can give to leading ladies is to ask before assuming anything. For example, the maid of honor traditionally hosts the bridal shower unless she’s a relative of the bride, in which convention suggests that someone else take the torch for this event. The reason for this little caveat lies in not wanting the bride’s family to come across as greedy in trying to garner more gifts for the bride. Of course, in modern times, it is socially acceptable for a relative to host the shower. Ultimately, it depends on what kinds of traditions the bride feels are most important to them, and those involved. If the mother of the bride wants to host the bridal shower, then your role may be to help with securing invitations and RSVP, instead.

Even though there will be many more appointments than a maid of honor could likely attend, it’s certainly nice to accompany the bride whenever possible. If she doesn’t ask, then it’s not necessary to insist on going, but it never hurts to offer extra help. The kinds of appointments that a maid of honor might choose to attend are decor and event rentals, venue visits and of course, dress fittings. These are just a few fun and meaningful experiences that you can experience together. Pretty much anything in the sphere of planning for the big day is fair game, although the bride will (or should) understand if not all dates can be met. Additionally, some brides want their maid of honor to help them pick out bridesmaid dresses (although some may also want to choose independently), and help coordinate with the groomsmen.

Remember being the new kid at school? Well, that’s sort of what it can feel like for some bridesmaids if they have never met before and that’s not an equation for fun! My advice is to organize a get-together so that everyone can get acquainted before the pre-wedding events.

If there are bridesmaids who live far away, then consider planning a special bridal party activity while everyone is in town for the bridal shower, instead, such as a dinner, wine-tasting trip or spa day. Another great way to get the ladies involved is to ask for their help planning the bridal shower or bachelorette party. Although it’s always most useful to have someone at the helm, steering the event, it’s also important to delegate aspects of the preparation. If one of the ladies is a great baker, have her take the lead on the dessert bar. A craft-savvy attendant can create a fun gift-opening backdrop. Not only does this help everyone feel included but a lot more can be accomplished together as a team.

Traditionally, the maid of honor is responsible for organizing the bachelorette party, booking any reservations and coordinating with the bridal party. Along these lines, it’s customary for the maid of honor to collect funds for the party from all of the bridesmaids, understanding that not everyone may be able to contribute equally. If it’s an out-oftown excursion, then it’s necessary to touch base with the bride before setting firm plans, especially if the pooled funds don’t cover the entire cost of the trip.

“…although it may consist of many duties, the role can lend itself to being a lot fun and rewarding.”

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