DAVID HOCKNEY

F Te Champ Tre

by Patrick Leigh Fermor

‘Zummerzetshire-zider’-zonked, zen zombies zig-zag… zippy

Young yob-yahoos yeastily yap-yelp-yell-yowl: ‘Yippee!’

Xerodermatic xiphoid xenophobes x-ray Xantippes, While wanton, woad-wet, wasp-waisted whip-wielders wallop willing whippees.

‘Vain, vapid voluptuaries vie vacuously:’ (Voltaire)

(Underground, Uniat underdogs unlace used underwear…)

Toxic tipsy tympanists tirelessly tap trite tattoos, Sleazy soloists suck straws, swig sherry, swill shandy. Some stir stews, Rousing red-headed roughneck ravenous Ribena-fed retinues.

Quaint quirky queues quaff quarters. Quiet, questing queens Pathetically pursue puce pederastic palanquins, Obsessively out-Oscaring Oscar’s otiose Notions. Now noisome nymphomaniacs nobody knows Misguidedly manhandle mildly mascara’d matelots.

Look! Lords lambaste ladies! Ladies lords lacerate!

(‘Kossacks kidnap kappelmeister!’ ‘Kalmucks kybosh Kate!’)

Jeep jangles jeep, Jehu jolts Jezebel, Jack jostles Jill, Idle idiots imbibe ideas idler imbeciles instil.

Harmless homosexual hedonists hold heterodox hey-day, Gregarious gay gadabouts gather, gracefully going grey. Furtive fops follow fleetingly flaked-out fairies’ feuds, Eager ears eavesdrop. Every eye extrudes.

‘Dentist deflowers dons, dairymaids, duchesses, dingos, dudes… ’

(Cling close! Clasp cobber! Cool! Clap-clear clinch concludes…!)

Bogomils broach bashful burglars, but bent burglars bungle blast, And all, after acid’s acrid aftermath, abscond aghast.