Storytime

Breaking Into Hollywood

Many writers find it increasingly challenging to get seen and heard. Raine Magazine, always seeking the new and exciting, has created the Storytime Short Story feature. In future editions of Raine Magazine, we’ll present a topic and request submissions from unpublished or self-published authors. Then, we’ll choose and feature 2-3 of their stories. The initial word limit for each submitted entry in this first edition was 300 words. To kick off the first Storytime, our feature writers and editors Timothy Neill, Emmaline Stoddard, and Murray Blehart share original short fiction on this topic: Breaking Into Hollywood. Enjoy!

Humans are so gullible. They don’t suspect a thing.

“You play the most amazing alien,” they tell me. “You’re so convincing!” Of course, I’m convincing every time I play an alien. That’s because I am.

Hollywood is full of phonies. Or else people who are so utterly embellished that someone like me is just considered an eccentric.

The best part of this is that even my own people can’t find me. Breaking into Hollywood was way too easy. The challenge is going to be breaking out of Hollywood. When the time comes, and my people decide to enslave humankind for their purposes – my escape will be a whole other challenge. It’s been three decades since I got here. I’m sure that my people remember what I did that sent me away. Some might even realize I’m here. But I doubt it. For now, they mostly just mess with Earth, abducting a hick here, turning a cow inside-out there, and that sort of thing.

Blue-green skin? An affectation. A too-long neck and oversized, oval eyes? Surgical commitment to cosplay. Sixfoot-seven? A freak of nature.

I never imagined that blending in on Earth could be so easy.

I love hiding in plain sight. It amuses me that I have money, men and women, and a modicum of power. If I’d known this was how it could be, I’d have left home and come here a long time ago. Granted, this wouldn’t have been possible before this Earth century. But speculation amuses me. Humans think they’re so smart. You just keep thinking that. Meanwhile, I think I’ll buy a supercar next week.

When I first got here, I knew I had to find a way to blend in. Who knew breaking into Hollywood was it?

Hope and Expectation

By Timothy Neill

The flight started to descend with arrival at the Burbank airport in Los Angeles imminent. Julian's knees began to shake with a mixture of excitement and nervous trepidation. Today might be his big break. He had spent years crafting, performing, and building a solid - if not exemplary - social media following. Julian had been chosen as one of two final candidates in the audition process for a major upcoming Hollywood production. The final callbacks were later today.

Just the thought of those at this stage of the process seeing something in Julian's work was enough reward for him. Not even the distinctly wafting stench of unmistakably processed airline lunch offerings put him off the chance to be directed by one of the brightest creative minds in the entertainment industry. The last hurdle was simply to do the best he could at his upcoming meeting with the casting director.

You’d Be Surprised

By Murray Blehart

Two years earlier, an unknown actor had won a major supporting role in a blockbuster movie thanks to an open casting call. The eventual performance in the finished film got them some awards buzz and a major foothold as a potential player in the industry. On the distinctly pixelated and only marginally viewable in-flight entertainment screen, Julian had been watching the movie that introduced that previously unknown actor to the world. There was no reason if he played his cards right, that the next of these couldn't be Julian.

As the tannoy operated by the cabin crew announced their touchdown in Los Angeles, Julian was confident in the skills he could offer as an actor or potential behind-the-scenes player. Even if he didn't conquer blockbuster filmmaking, having any kind of career in the entertainment industry was his ultimate goal.

Who knew where his dalliances with Hollywood might take him? He would just have to wait and see...

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A Phone Call Regarding the Hollywood Cafe

By Emmaline Stoddard

Hello?

Yes, this is Monty Montgomery, owner of The Hollywood Cafe. And who are you?

Oh, hello there Officer Smaltz.

What do you mean there’s been a break-in into my cafe?

The Hollywood has had many famous guests- movie stars, writers, the mayor- but never thieves. Did those thieves also break into that dastardly Bollywood cafe across the street?

Of course not. They’re not as refined so there was obviously nothing that the thieves wanted to steal. I’m flattered in a way.

Oh my! Did they take my pen from Casablanca?

My wristwatch from Singin’ in the Rain?

My jewels from Breakfast at Tiffany’s?

So what if they were reproductions; they were valuable to me!

Then what did they take?

No! Really? Not my log from the original Muppet movie!

Kermit sat on that log and serenaded the world with The Rainbow Connection, and now I’ve let it slip from my grasp.

No, I don’t have any insurance on my log. Do you have any leads yet?

So what if it just happened? You can still have leads.

There, saying you don’t have any is more of a response. There has to be something. You can’t just take a log and get away with it that easily.

Is there any other damage to the inside of my establishment?

-that’s my best cafe in the region plaque from this year! How dare they crack its surface? I earned that plaque, fair and square.

Oh, I have cameras! Did you check those yet? They have to have some answers.

Onion chutney? Ew, not that disgusting substance. I can’t believe they covered all the cameras without revealing themselves first.

Were there any clues? Anything left behind?

A Taj Mahal pocket square just came in? Goodness gracious. Officer, I’ll meet you at The Bollywood Cafe, stat… Maureen, I’m going to solve a crime! Don’t pour my cup of assam tea yet!