Ritual Sheet

Ravi &

Rajashree's practical guide to not getting bored, and figuring out just what exactly is going on at our wedding.

Vanakkam We are getting married as per the Iyer tradition. The groom and bride are considered to be Lord Vishnu and Andal (a devotee) respectively, and this marriage signifies their union. The primary witness to this ceremony is Agni (the fire God). The wedding ceremony is a Vedic ritual, and is traditionally conducted in Sanskrit. We hope that you all enjoy watching the rituals as much as we’re enjoying getting married.

1

Janavasam Also called as Mapillai Azhaippu (welcoming the groom). It is the Tamilian equivalent to a baarat. Ravi along with his family, is welcomed by Shruthi’s family in to the wedding hall. The ceremony begins with two women performing aarthi. Shruthi’s father then garlands Ravi and welcomes him.

2

Nichayathartham The traditional ‘engagement’ ceremony, where Ravi and Rajashree (and their respective families) formally commit to the marriage by exchanging lagna patrikai (agreements of marriage entered into between the two fathers) and a platter containing flowers, bananas, betel leaves, betel nuts and a coconut.

3

Kumara bhojanam As a brahmachari, Ravi shares a bland meal with other brahmacharis (or bachelors), served by Shruthi’s mother. A brahmachari is supposed to eat bland food throughout his brahmacharya (the period during which he is supposed to learn the vedas), and taste good food only when he enters Grihasthashrama (married life).

4

Kasi Yatra Ravi has two paths before him - a (blissful?) married life with Rajashree, or a last chance to escape to asceticism in Kasi.

Following tradition, Ravi heads to Kasi to become a sanyasi. As he seeks Shruthi’s father’s permission for this endeavour (since he is already engaged), her father suggests that he marry her instead, and promises to give her as a companion to face the challenges of life. Ravi finally sees the folly in his decision, and returns to marry Rajashree.

5

Malai Matral Rajashree and Ravi are lifted up, and after much tamasha, garland each other. Typically, a garland is neither exchanged nor shared, therefore, exchanging it indicates unification of the couple in mind, body and soul.

6

Oonjal Rajashree and Ravi are seated on an oonjal (swing). The chains of the oonjal signify the eternal karmic link with God and the to-and-fro motion represents the undulating sea-waves of life. Yet, sitting together in the oonjal, they will move in harmony unperturbed, steady and stable. Thereafter, to counteract all the oohs and aahs, the women of the two households remove dhrishti (evil eye) using water, lamps, and balls of coloured rice. To represent Andal being overjoyed about her dream (of marrying Lord Vishnu) coming true, the women sing songs.

7

Kanyadaanam This is the ceremony of Shruthi’s father giving her hand in marriage to Ravi (gratefully) accepts, while the kamasukta (hymn to love) is recited. The hymn includes a tribute to Kama (God of love), and Mukund’s loving acceptance of Rajashree. Ravi, for good measure, also promises not to fail Rajashree in his pursuit of dharma (moral and lawful life), artha (wealth), and kama (love).

He also assures her father that he will forever remain her companion in joy and sorrow – in this life, and after death as well!

8

Muhurtham Aka Maangalya Dharane. This is the most anticipated part of the wedding. Rajashree dons the koorai-pudavai (9-yard saree), which is worn by Iyengars on auspicious occasions. After receiving blessings from the guests, Ravi ties the thali using three knots - signifying the promise of Manasa (acting consciously), Vaacha (by expressing orally), and Karmena (by actions and deed).

Wait!

It is not over yet.

While Rajashree and Ravi are keen to receive your congratulations, per custom, they are not allowed to hold (or shake) hands with anyone other than each other. We request you to hold your wishes (but not your blessings) until our beloved Vasu vadhyar gives the green signal.

9

Panigrahanam Ravi lights the agni indicating the start of a new household with Rajashree. They hold hands as a symbol of their impending marital union. He also announces his acceptance of responsibility to four deities - Bhaga (signifying wealth), Aryama (signifying heaven), Savita (signifying radiance/new beginning), and Purandhi (signifying wisdom). He also tells Rajashree the Gods have offered you to me in order that I may live the life of a householder; we shall not part from each other even after we grow old!

10

Saptapadi This is the most important ritual in the wedding. A nuptial knot is tied between the ends of the bride and groom’s attires signifying an unfailing bond between two souls.

The belief is that when one walks seven steps with another, the two become friends. Under Indian law [Rajashree rolls eyes] the marriage becomes complete and binding when the seventh step is taken.

With each circuit around the agni, Rajashree and Ravi make a vow to establish some aspect of a happy relationship and household for each other.

To nourish each other To remain friends lifelong To be together forever To take care of children and parents To share joys and sorrows To preserve wealth To grow together in strength

11

Laaja homam In this ceremony, Rajashree seeks a long life for Ravi, and propagation of the family.

Shruthi’s family, in participating in this ceremony, signifies the establishment of the link between the two families after marriage.

While not officially a part of this ceremony, Ravi also prays for a long and happy life for Rajashree.

12

Nalangu This is a relic from the days of child marriage. Rajashree and Ravi engage in games - including breaking appalam over each other’s head; wrenching the betel pack from each other’s hand; and rolling the coconut from one to another as in ball-play. During these games, the ladies sing songs teasing Rajashree and Ravi. The objective of the Nalangu is to bring out the important qualities of Rajashree and Ravi – sporting spirit, kindness, strength, and co-operative nature.

Ashirvadam!

We’re done! Please shower your blessings on the newly minted Mr and Mrs :)

#RAMGOPALVARMALA 11 February 2018