by Annamaria Hemingway chapter 5
Peter’s Story I came to write the book, Practicing Conscious Living and Dying, of which Peter Samuelson’s wonderful story is an excerpt, after experiencing my own “awakening,” which occurred during the final stages of my mother’s life. During this period, I came to realize how precious life really is and how learning to live with a sense of purpose and meaning gives us the opportunity to become our most authentic selves. I became fascinated by compiling a collection of real-life stories of people who were making a positive difference in the world and showing how their examples can help us all discover how a life of service not only benefits the recipients, but also provides the donor with an untold, unimagined treasure chest of personal value.
Not life, but good life, is chiefly to be valued ~ Socrates ***
Through meeting Sean, a young boy dying from an inoperable brain tumor, Peter Samuelson experienced an epiphany that would change the course of his life forever. He became Sean’s friend on the last part of his earthly journey, and this gesture opened the floodgates of his heart. Way of the Heart
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I stumbled into working in the film business and gradually, I began to get the breaks, and started to find success as a producer. My movies did well. I produced Revenge of the Nerds and Turk 182, and then I partnered with my brother, Marc, and made Arlington Road, Wilde, Tom and Viv and other films, which gave me a sense of creative accomplishment as well as an income. But I had a nagging realization that the all-encompassing and mostly self-absorbed studio mentality left a void in my life. I think that you can go nuts as a film producer and I see it happening all the time in this business. I had no idea of how to fill this void, but everything changed by fluke in the fall of 1982, when I had a conversation with my cousin, the actress Emma Samms. When Emma was still living in London, she had lost her brother, my cousin Jamie, to an awful disease called Aplastic Anaemia. While visiting Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital later, she had come to know and befriend a young boy, Sean, who was fighting an inoperable brain tumor. She told me about him, saying: “Sean is such a brave and remarkable young kid. He’s gone through so much in his young life, but he lights up when he tells me about his secret longing to visit Disneyland before he dies. I really wish there was something I could do to make his wish come true. I know what a difference this trip would make to him. Unfortunately, there’s no way his mother could afford for him to go.” As Emma related the story to me, I was moved. It reminded me of one of the most devastating memories of my teenage years, when Jamie had contracted his illness and ultimately died. I said to Emma, “Let’s make Sean’s dream come true. Let’s arrange to fly him and his mother over and make the dream a reality.” Shortly after, Sean and his mother arrived in Los Angeles. We couldn’t find a hotel that would accommodate such a sick child, so I moved them all into my condominium, including Emma. It was wonderful to see how Sean rallied, despite how far advanced his illness was. There was a look of wonder and excitement on his face, as we visited Disneyland and all the other attractions. We even borrowed a helicopter and pilot, so that he could see Los Angeles from the air. For a while time stood still. Sean’s illness faded into the background, and I think that for the first time in a long while, he got to experience feelings of pure joy. The trip also had a domino effect. Sean’s mother began to relax, and found great enjoyment in watching her son having so much fun. It was touching to see how happy this made Sean. Sean returned to London, and died a few weeks later. I experienced a very complex set of emotions after his death. I felt enormous sadness, because I had 32
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Suddenly, I felt this tremendous surge of energy flow through me... The experience with Sean had been so powerful for me, but now I realized that the story could also have a colossal emotional effect on someone else. I left the lunch feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of what had taken place. been privileged to share such an incredible experience with him. But we had all been preparing for the inevitable, including Sean himself, and there was a good feeling knowing that we had crammed so many unforgettable moments into his last days. I also knew that his mother had been blessed with the most precious gift. She had memories of her son laughing and transcending his illness. Some time later, I was having lunch with a business acquaintance from HBO named Steve Ujlaki. Halfway through the lunch, we ran out of business to discuss, and Steve said, “So what else is going on in your life?” I replied, “Well, the strangest thing happened to me, there was this little boy...” I told him the rest of the story and, as Steve listened, he broke down and wept at the table and suddenly, I felt this tremendous surge of energy flow through me; it was almost as if I had been struck by lightning. The experience with Sean had been so powerful for me, but now I realized that the story could also have a colossal emotional effect on someone else. I left the lunch feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of what had taken place. One morning, a short time later, I woke up and knew that I was being called to start a children’s charity for kids like Sean. It was conceived initially as an organization that would grant seriously ill children their wish. Although I had no doubts about the validity of this mission, I asked myself, “How on earth am I going to do this? I’ve got no idea how to launch a charity.” Then I thought, “Well, I have skills as a film producer, and I’m used to working against the odds, so I can use these same skills to make this project work and get it off the ground.” I recognized that I would need a lawyer, an accountant, a publicist, a fundraiser, and someone who knew all about hospital policies. I spent the rest of the day Way of the Heart
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As Starlight began to flourish, I started to see that there was far more we could do for seriously ill children. calling everyone that might help, and arranged a meeting for that afternoon. We all met in the Interscope boardroom; I stood there and told them about Sean and how I believed that we could make something similar happen for other seriously ill children. Everyone listened to what I had to say, and there was complete silence in the room. Then the most amazing scene took place, as they all agreed to my proposal and that was just the beginning! Fate was definitely taking a hand in my life that day. Previously, I had gone out on a date with a lady who was accountant, and I had asked her to the gathering. When the lawyer asked, “What are we going to call this organization?” She replied, “You remember the children’s rhyme that goes Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight?” We all nodded, and she added, “How about calling the charity Starlight?” We all agreed that this was the perfect name. You could say that the meeting was our second date, because we fell in love and have been together ever since. She became the first treasurer of the organization. The Starlight Children’s Foundation has grown into an international nonprofit organization dedicated to improving the quality of life for seriously ill children and their families. The charity just snowballed, and we can now serve over 2.5 million children every year, on an annual budget of around 40 million dollars. We have chapters and affiliates in Japan, Australia, Canada, the U.K., and right across the United States. It is a colossus! 34
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As Starlight began to flourish, I started to see that there was far more we could do for seriously ill children. One day, I was visiting the County-USC Medical Center in Los Angeles. As I walked through the facility, I came across a child’s room, and the only source of entertainment was an old black and white television mounted on the wall. I asked the nurse, “How’s this child in traction meant to change the channel?” “I’ll show you,” she replied. She went over to a corner in the room and brought out a seven-foot long bamboo pole that the child was supposed to use to watch another program. “Surely we can do better than this?” I said to myself. And, with the help of Michael Milken, I invented Starlight Fun Centers, which are composed of entertainment centers set in portable carts that can be rolled onto a child’s bed. Then I thought about the children lying in bed all day with nothing to do, and thought it might be possible to formulate some unique programming that would keep them amused and stimulated. As I mused over this idea, I decided that we needed to expand our Mission to develop this kind of programming and I knew that we would need a powerful ally in our corner. Kathy Kennedy, one of our first board members, managed to arrange for me to have a meeting with Steven Spielberg. When I arrived at his office, his assistant said, “Be brief, and get right to the point.” She added, “Mr. Spielberg can only give you fifteen minutes of his time.” I felt totally intimidated! However, my fifteen minutes turned into over two hours and Steven was totally engaged, as we kicked ideas around for what we called Starbright. Then he said: “I think it’s an incredible project. Count me in. How can I help?” I replied, “I think you would be the perfect person to chair Starbright and help recruit experts for the board. We also desperately need a financial contribution.” “How much do you want?” Steven asked. At that moment, a voice that sounded like mine, but came from an unknown source deep within me, uttered the words, “Two and a half million dollars.” “You’ve got it,” said Steven. I left the meeting knowing that we had all the backing needed to succeed in this new activity, which would creatively bring so many rays of sunshine into the lives of sick children. Way of the Heart
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I get enormous rewards from my involvement in this kind of work, because I get to see the results of trying to make a difference in the lives of these children. My belief is that we can all make a contribution in trying to make the world a better place. And through choosing to become involved, we also lift ourselves up and build our own happiness. Of course, it’s not all plain sailing. There’s the constant stress of never having enough money, volunteers, or time, and there is always so much more to be done. Through becoming involved, I have learned of some truly shocking statistics: In America, a million children at any one time are in foster care, institutions, or on the streets. Over 1,000 children die every year through abuse or neglect, and an average of 1,690 children are sexually assaulted each week. One in six children lives in poverty. I was horrified and deeply upset at this state of affairs. And then I became angry, and wondered what could be done to improve the situation. It seemed an enormous task, but I established a new organization called First Star, whose mission it is to improve the life outcomes of America’s abused and neglected children. Our vision is to provide quality and compassionate care for children in every aspect of the system. In this, the richest nation in the world, how can we do anything else? Maybe the force of a higher power is working through me, and perhaps Sean was an angel delivering a message. I just don’t know the answer to that. But what I do know is that Sean was a courageous, wonderful human being and I wanted to help him. From the day I met him, there was no turning back. My life was changed forever. I do believe that there is a force in the hearts of people that can bring about our highest aspirations for civilization. We all have a role to play. When the call comes – it heralds an opportunity to search deep within ourselves to find compassion, love, and charity, and to manifest these qualities out into the world. I know my wonderful staff and volunteers all feel the same way. They each have a purpose, and are of great intrinsic value, because they create some joy and offer help to those who need it. What could possibly be more rewarding? b
An excerpt from the book, Practicing Conscious Living and Dying, published and available through O Books, www.o-books.net, or the distributor in Australia and New Zealand, Brumby Books, www.sales@brumbybooks.com.au The author, Annamaria Hemingway MA (ABD) is a writer, spiritual counselor and member of the International Association for Near-Death Studies www.practicingconsciouslivinganddying.com
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