TABLE OF CONTENTS RKYV # 7 {March 2008} RKYV ONLINE LOGO - David Marshall { current } - Roy G James { original } - Randy Pare { original online adaptation} Virtual Cover # 7 - art by Mohammed Abdullah Poetry - layouts by David Marshall Anna Gehmacher, Larissa Gula, L. E. Cable, Ruben N. De Leeuw Editorial Column “Pass The Stuffing” - Randy Pare Short Fiction - “Tapes” - by Patrick J. Nestor, Jr. World View “A Canadian Living in the USA” Non-Fiction - “Futurism in the Funnies” - by Tom Rossini - by Roy G. James Featured Artist Review - by Tariq Rafiq Family Life - “Cook Book for Working Families” & “My Journal” - by Amanda Fortin Interior Artists Belinda Da Fonseca, Josh Bowe, Ignacio Rojas Pop Culture Mohammed Abdullah, Stan Nelson, Giorgos “Raised on Saturday Morning Cartoons” Tsopanos, Bob Labute, Matt Hatt, Roger - by Pauline Pare Formidable, Tariq Rafiq, Lee Ann Marie “Coffee and Cigarettes” - by David Marshall Macdonald
Untitled - by Bob Labute Untitled - by Josh Bowe
Abstract Study - by Josh Bowe
Pass the Stuffing Friends, contributors and readers... lend me your ears! [What the hell did he need their ears for? Had he pulled a Van Gogh? Somehow, I doubt it... never-the-less...] Welcome to RKYV # 10!! The e-zine for those with discriminating taste... well maybe not for the snobs. The e-zine for creative people... well that’s hardly specific, I mean c’mon lots of folks are creative [my mechanic has often been quite creative when it comes to billing]. Hmm... let’s see. The free-zine for the frugal spenders... man that sounds like our readers are cheap bastards [I am, anyway]...... this isn’t working..... LOL. How about: “Welcome To RKYV - Your E-Zine to Share, Contribute and Enjoy!” Yep, that about covers it. Untitled - by Bob Labute The thing about this mag is it always trying to improve and provide a quality forum for you the readers and contributors to enjoy each month’s offerings. It is with great pleasure that I direct your attention to this month’s debut of a new ongoing column / section of RKYV. The “Featured Artist Review” - by Tariq Rafiq will consist of an interview with each month’s cover artist as well as a review of some samples of the artist’s portfolio. I hope you all enjoy this more in depth look into the incredibly talented artists who grace our covers each month. Next month the Shadow of Shazam fan fiction will conclude with its third and final chapter. With that I leave you to enjoy the rest of the issue. Adieu ..:) R. J. Pare’, EIC of RKYV ONLINE
Coke Can - by Roger Formidable
World view A Canadian Living in the USA - by Tom Rossini Over the last 12 years or so, many people have asked me this question and every time, the same answer is given. It’s like living back home but with different currency. However, the longer I live here in the USA, the differences between these two countries become quite noticeable. For years Canada has been referred to by many as the 51st state. But, personally, that could not be farther from the truth. In fact, with each passing day, we Canadians are gaining more and more independence from the USA. The relationship between Canada and the USA is only in its infancy when you compare the relationships of the countries in the Eastern Hemisphere. But, it has definitely blossomed into the most successful relationship in the world. Canada and the USA are the world’s largest trading partners and share the world’s largest border. This is reflected in the volume of bilateral trade.-approximately 1.5 billion dollars a day in goods and the fact that approximately 300,000 people cross the shared border every day. This does not mean that there have not been any trade disputes between the two countries, there have been several and some are still going on today. A few of these disputes includes softwood lumber imports from Canada, dairy products and the fisheries.
NAFTA — The trading over the Ambassador Bridge and the gateway to Canada In 2006, over $500 billion in total trade occurred between the two countries and the trade that crossed the Ambassador Bridge between Detroit, Michigan and Windsor, Ontario equalled all the U.S. Exports to Japan. Also, Canada is the largest importer of US goods then all 27 countries of the European Community combined, and whose population is 15 times that of Canada. Oh Canada, Home Sweet Home That the Mackenzie River is 4241 km long and is the longest river in Canada?
Therefore it is safe to say that this trade is extremely important to the citizens of the USA. Since 1994 and the implementation of NAFTA, the trade between the two countries has increase 250% and that number is expected to increase.
The Canadian flag was established in 1967? That Randy Pare’s nickname in grade school was Smurf?
Canada & USA lapel pin
Featured Artist Review By Tariq Rafiq Background: Mohammed Abdullah is a young artist from Kuwait. He was born in 1985. His has been painting from an early age. Mohammed works full time as an Investment Officer and paints part time as a hobby. 1.How long have you been an artist? How did you get started? Well my father is an artist so the idea of gaming and playing was different for him. Instead of having fun by playing with toys he taught me how to have fun and joy by drawing. As you know human needs tend change as the grow and that’s what happened with me, now when I draw something I draw because I want to express my feelings, love or passion toward someone.
Mohammed Abdullah
2.Do you go to school and get formal training or are you self taught? I am a self taught artist. 3.Who in your life has been the biggest influence on your art? My father was the biggest influence on my art. 4.What is your favourite media to work with? I first started drawing with charcoal. After releasing Tablet PC’s technology, I moved to draw by my LG tablet pc which saved a lot of papers and kept my hands clean. 5.Do you use any special tools and techniques to create your art? I use windows journal to draw because my hand line will be better and I usually use Photoshop to paint
Untitled - by Mohammed Abdullah {Man with Glasses} - This artwork has a very pop art feel to it. The contrast of the background colours work well with the image. - Tariq Rafiq {review}
and make some effects on my drawing. 6.What inspires you to paint and generate new ideas to create a piece? Women!! Because they have all the beauty you need or one may find on this plant!! 7.What style do you consider yourself to be? Well I will leave the answer for you and the readers… 8.Which famous artists have influenced you? Why?
Untitled - by Mohammed Abdullah {Lady with Yellow Background} - Beautiful contrast with the yellow and brown colours. The line drawings are done very well. - Tariq Rafiq {review}
Milo Manara has influenced my art. His style inspires me and I usually redo his work in my own way or without changing any single line especially the hair. 9. If you could met any living or dead artist, who would it be?
I would like to meet Vincent van Gogh. 10.What is the one question that you would ask him/her? It would not be a good idea to ask someone with a bad mental condition and disorder questions, but rather I would like to watch him painting one of his magnificent pieces art like “Starry Night“. 11. Do you think today‘s weak economy are effecting artists? Yes of course. 12. In today competitive world how to you set yourself apart from other artists? I like to share ideas with all the artists rather than competing with them 13.How do you market yourself?
Untitled - by Mohammed Abdullah {Lady Lying} - Very expressive drawing. You can feel the emotions of the subject in the drawing. - Tariq Rafiq {review}
By putting my drawings in your group gallery. 14. When you get a creative block while working on a painting, how do you get yourself back into the mood to paint and how do you keep yourself motivated? By remembering the reason or the person who lead me to express my feelings in this way 15. Do you create your art full time or part time? Painting is kinda of a hobby more than a job for me. 16.What other interests do you have besides painting? Playing football and travelling. Untitled - Mohammed Abdullah {newest pic} - This drawing is simple in nature yet the point comes across very well. - Tariq Rafiq {review} 17.What would you tell a young artist starting out today? I’m just 22 years old.. I am not old enough or wise enough to preach. 18.Do you have any big plans or shows coming up in 2008? I want to get married and start a family.. 19.Where do you see yourself 10 years from now? Somewhere were I can be accepted and respected.
Full Moon - by Mohammed Abdullah {cover art, Lady with Blue Eyes} - The subject has very striking eyes. The black and white colors enhances the blue eyes beautifully. - Tariq Rafiq {review}
Untitled - by Bob Labute
Poetry Anna’s Poems - by Anna Gehmacher From one day to the other you turn away and say "no more" Three years of friendship you choose to ignore From one day to the other you change your ways, Three years of friendship you throw away From one day to the other I'm not important anymore You're too busy fucking that stupid whore I am worthless to you now, I didn't ever matter anyhow Pastel Ida - by Belinda Da Fonseca
LUSUS NATURAE - by L.. E. Cable
I'm not worth your respect anymore, I'm no one to you now, and me, stupid cow, even got a present for your stupid whore.
You speak of hot livers slipping, pulsing upon your palm and lick sticky fingers remembering mixing bowls. Red is the desired flavour, in all it`s velvet clinging on to life. A food spilled, devoured with the past. The heart you hold drains, quakes with the anticipated electric rush of angel wings and you become God.
Untitled - by Bob Labute
I Cut Myself Shaving - Ruben N. de Leeuw
You sit silently on my bathroom counter, hugging the mirror You both glare at me with satisfaction What did I ever do to you? I glance up, and to the right of you in horror All you needed do was raze my roughage But you sliced a slit in my unexpectant skin Shocked, I recoiled What a job...average
Imaginary Portrait 2 - by Josh Bowe Dismal; depressed, I cover my shame I try to stop my bleeding wound But to no avail Blood flows all the same The pain stops eventually Along with the bleeding Replacing it is a horrid anomaly Embarrassing evidence of self-harm for all to see
Elvis Costello - by Matt Hatt
Dragonflies - by Larissa Gula This is the type of night to avoid. It’s the kind that should be denied existence, Just as friends can deny us in moments Of true need, or sorrow, or celebration. This is the night that carries the worst of news – The taking over of disease, cancer-like – Probably cancer, though unconfirmed. As the family goes to tears, only adding to misery, I long to be drunk – not on alcohol. This family Does not need two livers failing on them this month. I want no more tears under this roof. I just long to be drunk on is fresh air, by running streams, Both untouched by the pollution of mankind. In the fields that I long to feel under my feet, I could run off as fast as a bullet, and like one, I Untitled - by Matt Hatt
Could fly on looking for a target… Looking for a stop to unload my baggage Without overburdening the friends Who denied me on this hated night. As I run through my wishing-fantasy, I am distracted by the dragonflies zipping about, Over the soft corners of the streams in the field, Looking for their lovers, to share their night, And having better luck than I did. How sad, when even in my imagination, The reflection of my unspoken wishes, The insects can obtain more luck than I.
Untitled - by Giorgos Tsopanos
Pare’s Poetic Perspectives - by R.J. Pare Geni at Ten I held you once, cupped in my hands. Miniature wonder. Herculean obstacles, for you to overcome. One pound four ounce-er. I watched you toddle, fall and then run. Crazy tumbler. So much smaller, than all the others. My little girl. I sent you off, to school with the rest. Proud achiever. Your peers tower over you, yet it never slows you. Brave daughter. Now you converse, with surprising insights. Brilliant progeny. With a toss of your hair, and innocent giggle. My angel shines.
Untitled - by Bob Labute
Non - Fiction Futurism in the Funnies - by Roy G. James Selected Examples : Figure 4, 5, 6 – Robots and Mechanical Men
Figure 5 – Metal Men # 11, National Periodical Publication, Inc. 1964. “The Floating Furies”
Robots and Mechanical Men The pages of comics and science-fiction novels have been dotted with robot characters for many years. The superheroes are usually cast in their roles as fighting crime or saving the earth from the wrath of some sort of strange unearthly creature or a robot run rampant. That constitutes one third of the average life of a superhero as battling some robot. Therefore, it becomes obvious that robots are usually cast in the opposite role of villain with little or no personality (see figure 6). It is easy for the writers to justify robots as threats to mankind in addition to finding it easier to understand their ultimate destruction – if they were created by man, why shouldn’t they be destroyed by flesh and blood? Occasionally though, robots are thought of positively and may be cast in the role of hero or at least as being a vital part of life, which may be a part of man’s future. Figure 4 shows robots taking over the dangerous or the drudgerous for man merely because it is programmed to do so.
Figure 6 – Captain Marvel # 13, Magazine Management Co. 1969, “Traitors or Heroes” Life will be considerably altered; the question is “Will man become obsolete?” especially when his own physical recreation is at stake. Figure 5 shows a group of robot heroes created from the base metals with abilities to think and change form because of the malleability of their composition and to feel because of a new device called a responsometer. Therefore, words such as humanoid, android, computerized brain, microscopic circuitry, etc. will become part of our daily vocabulary and superheroes will not have to register with the unemployment roles.
Short Fiction Tapes - by Patrick J. Nestor Jr. Twin Valley Police Department 1613 Long Neck Road Twin Valley, NY 11901 TO: James Fredricks FROM: Walter Landers DATE: 11/2/02 SUBJ: Freedman 10/31 Tapes Jimmy, Ok, I transcripted the tape like you asked. Some of it was impossible to hear, so obviously I have so noted at the appropriate spots. I know I originally said I wouldn't have this till Wednesday, but I started listening last night and just couldn't stop. It isn't as long as you might expect, some of it is nothing special or important, and lots of it makes no sense, but the damn thing freaked me out pretty bad. Keep the lights on when you read this. (Ha Ha.) Also, you'll find the photographs Tom developed from the camera we found in the Leeds girl's knapsack. Most of them seem double exposed or something. I couldn't make head nor tails of the majority of the roll that survived (Tom says that the camera was opened so the Untitled - by Giorgos Tsopanos last few exposures were ruined, but he's attempting to see what he can get from them) but maybe you can. The one of the dog is just plain spooky. What the hell was wrong with that thing? Was it rabid? I guess if we ever find it we'll know. Tom numbered them (on the back, in red felt pen). He told me to tell you to pay special attention to numbers 16, 18, and 19. Despite the double exposure, you can see what Freeman was doing to Dahley on number 18. I had to really look hard myself, but you can see the spear or what ever it was. Funny though… I can't make out any rope or anything. Why bother tying him up afterwards? The other two shots, 16 & 19… well, they speak for themselves although, it's impossible to tell if they're laughing or screaming… at least to me. You draw your own conclusions; you're in charge of the damn case.
Kerry called to say the Leeds girl still hasn't spoken anything other than the shit she kept repeating when we found her. She also goes into hysterics if they turn off the lights. I hope she comes out of this, her parents are nice people. Mary Waters called here again, about twenty minutes ago, asking if her daughter has to come in again. She's rather upset about having to do so, but says she wants to help find out what happened to her niece. Besides telling us that those kids were out there Thursday night when they were reported missing, I don't know how much more she knows and if she can help us any more.
Dave Muller from the Library left you that book you asked for. "Upstate New York Urban Folklore and Legends: History or Hooey?" Sounds like a real page turner. Interesting note: He says he had two copies of it and the other's been checked out long over due for months. Who has it? I bet you guessed it: Alan Freeman. Anyway, he left you some spots marked with book marks that he thought you'd be interested in. Remember, I won't be in again till Wednesday. I'm taking the boys fishing tomorrow (It's gonna be FREEZING!) and we're spending the night at Michelle's folk's cabin out by Willard's Creek. Funny thing, I had a hell of a time getting to sleep after transcribing this buddy, and when I finally did, I kept dreaming about the Leeds girl and that damn dog. I hate this kind of shit. I almost forgot all those Urban Legends about Finger Annie… I didn't need this to drudge them all up again. I heard most of them from my Grandmother when I was like twelve or something. Amazing what your grandparents will tell kids huh? I'm not leaving my dad alone with my kids ever again just in case. What the hell where those kids doing up there Jimmy? What did the Smithson kid mean when he said "recreate that night"? Where did Freeman go? Damn, this shouldn't happen here. Hope your Halloween was better than ours. See you next Wednesday. - Walt P.S. – The full names of the entire group are as follows (to make following the tape easier). They were: Alan Freeman, Tabitha Leeds, Mike Dahley, Renee Waters, and Ross Smithson. The dog was Dante. (That screwed me up at first; I kept wondering who the hell Dante was.) P.P.S. – Just took a quick look at this book. Nails. Ouch.
SMITHSON: Ooo. A lifetime ago. (Laughter. Pause.) That thing on? FREEMAN: Not yet. SMITHSON: Then why are you holding it like that? FREEMAN: No reason. SMITHSON: I hate it when you record everything. You're a freak about that shit man. DAHLEY: Who the fuck cares? Can we get moving please? I'd like to get there. WATERS: Shit, this thing is heavy Alan. What the hell did you put in it? FREEMAN: Two of the field lights and batteries. Plus there's a bottle of wine in that one I think. LEEDS: Red or White? Untitled - by Stan Nelson
SMITHSON: I hate wine man, why not beer?
TAPE ONE
FREEMAN: You know why.
FREEMAN: Testing, testing, Sibilance, Sibilance…
SMITHSON: Shit. LEEDS: How far is it Alan?
DAHLEY: From downtown Burbank, it's the Tonight Show! (Simulated crowd cheers).
FREEMAN: Not too far. About a mile and a half.
FREEMAN: Nice. Tape is turned off.
SMITHSON: Get the fuck outta here! A fucking mile and a half? We gotta carry this crap a mile and a half?
Tape turned back on. LEEDS: … out here? DAHLEY: Yeah, a long time ago. I think back in '91.
LEEDS: Oh cut it out you wimp. You walk longer than that at the mall. SMITHSON: Hey! I cut that shit out years ago.
FREEMAN: Cut it out guys, let's just get going guys tell anyone about tonight? please? We have to be there before ten. (Loudly) C'mon Dante! Let's move! LEEDS: No. Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on.
SMITHSON: Not me. DAHLEY: Nope, you think I'm crazy?
FREEMAN: Mark two. (Pause) Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on. FREEMAN: twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. Remember sixteen.
FREEMAN: Renee? (Pause) Awww, SHIT Renee! How many times have I fucking said…? WATERS: Jesus Christ Alan, calm the fuck down. I only told my cousin!
DAHLEY: Sixteen what? LEEDS: Sweet sixteen? Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on.
FREEMAN: Great, and she told her boyfriend, who told his buddies, who called a kegger… SMITHSON: At least there'd be beer. FREEMAN: Shut up Ross!
SMITHSON: (Singing) …over and over and over again my friend. I don't believe, we're on the eve of destruction… FREEMAN: Shhhhhhhh!
WATERS: Stop it. She doesn't even HAVE a boyfriend. She's not gonna tell anyone, and she's certainly not out here so cut the shit. (Pause) What!?
SMITHSON: What?
SMITHSON: No boyfriend huh? She hot?
FREEMAN: Did you hear that? Dante stop!
WATERS: Dick.
(Dog barks)
SMITHSON: Last time I checked, yep.
DAHLEY: What?
FREEMAN: I heard something.
SMITHSON: Gimme a break Al. Wait till we're there at least before you start with the cheap scare tactics.
DAHLEY: Alan, I swear to God, if you have someone jump out dressed like the killer from Scream, I'm gonna kill you.
LEEDS: Speaking of which, how much further Papa Smurf?
LEEDS: Alan, I didn't hear anything. Maybe it was just the wind or a squirrel or something.
FREEMAN: I'm not fucking around. Quiet! (Pause). There's someone out there. Did you
FREEMAN: I guess so. Let's just try and take this seriously though guys, ok?
SMITHSON: Yeah, everyone be careful in case Tape is shut off. we find Jason Voorhees screwing the Blair Tape is turned back on. Witch while the Jersey Devil and Chucky watch. (Pause) OK OK! Jesus Alan, lighten up SMITHSON: … BE A FUCKING OWL! a little will ya? I'll be serious. LEEDS: Christ that scared the shit out of me. FREEMAN: Please. (Laughs) Someone speaks, but it's too low to tell who it was and what was said.
WATERS: Oh my God. LEEDS: You ok?
LEEDS: (Laughs) Yeah. Hey Alan, I'll ask again… how much further? FREEMAN: We're just about there. SMITHSON: Then turn that thing off till we get there will you?
WATERS: I almost pissed myself. DAHLEY (Sounding far away): I see him! Dante! FREEMAN: Dante get over here!! (Pause) Right there, Ross.
FREEMAN: Fine. SMITHSON (From a distance): Here? LEEDS: You know, I wonder if this road is the one where they fou… FREEMAN: Yeah, near the bigger rock. SMITHSON (A little closer now): Wow, this is one fucking huge bolder man. WATERS: Where's the shack? FREEMAN: About two hundred yards past the stump. LEEDS: What kind of tree was that? FREEMAN: Not sure. Oak I guess. WATERS: Looks like a redwood. FREEMAN: Believe it or not, redwoods are much bigger. This isn't so large. SMITHSON: Big rock, big tree stump… and now I have a big thirst. Please tell me you brought more than just wine.
Untitled - by Bob Labute
FREEMAN: Yeah, there's water in my pack. (Pause) Catch.
DAHLEY: WE GOT HIM!!! COMING! (Pause) Wait… did you say a bone?
SMITHSON: Beauty.
FREEMAN: What?
DAHLEY (Out of breath, panting.): He won't come Alan. FREEMAN: Oh for... DANTE!
DAHLEY: A bone. You said it was a bone.
Sounds like running through leaves here. Barking of dog in distance.
FREEMAN: What the fuck are you talk… oh, the dog… yeah I think it's a bone. Lemme see Dante. C'mon. (Long Pause) What the…(Pause) OH FUCK!!
FREEMAN: Come on Dante… cut the shit!
DAHLEY: SHIT! WHAT!?
DAHLEY: He was over there.
FREEMAN: (Laughs) Damn. I thought it was a fucking hand for a second. See? Looks like it doesn't it?
FREEMAN: I see him. DANTE DAMMIT!
DAHLEY: Hey Dante, that's a good boy. Shit, did he catch the owl? He's got something.
DAHLEY: Fuck Alan, between the owl and this, I've already had my fill of scares. (Laughs nervously) Then again, that's why we're out here though huh?
FREEMAN: I don't know. C'mere Dante.
FREEMAN: That's right. C'mon.
DAHLEY: What the hell is that?
LEEDS (In distance): Unintelligible… coming back?
Barking of dog louder.
FREEMAN: It's just a bone I think. FREEMAN: Yeah, let's get everything set up. DAHLEY: Not that… THAT! (Pause) Is that it?
LEEDS (Louder now): Ross started putting…
FREEMAN: (Laughs) Yeah, saves me the trouble of scouting for it. Nice work Dante.
Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on.
DAHLEY: I thought it was in the other direction.
WATERS: … bout ten sixteen.
FREEMAN: So did I, even better Dante found it. Sound of someone calling is very faint in background.
FREEMAN: Excellent. We made good time. Nice job Ross. SMITHSON: That's me, the wannabe woodsman. FREEMAN: Ok, I'd like to get started now.
SMITHSON: I figured when I saw the tape recorder.
happened. LEEDS: Oh my God. You're serious?
DAHLEY: That's a nice one Alan. Where'd you get it? FREEMAN: Yeah. They're best friends. It took like a good nine months, but every once and a FREEMAN: Ryder's Surplus. Was used as a while Dillon will just start talking. He never field recorder for the U.S. Marshall's office. answers questions or anything, and lots of times Nice huh? It automatically goes from side A to he makes no sense, but my brother has told me side B on it's own without losing more than like all about the stuff that does. a few seconds of recording. SMITHSON: Did he ever tell him about Nanci? SMITHSON: You and your recording. FREEMAN: Never anything that made sense to FREEMAN: So you've said a million times. him. You know my brother man. He's not into Can we get started? this kinda stuff. He'd freak out if he knew I was out here. (Pause) My brother said that Dillon LEEDS: Yes, lets. told him he still sees her. Every night… once it's dark. DAHLEY: Ok Mr. Expert. How do we start? (Long pause) FREEMAN: Time? WATERS: Ten Nineteen. FREEMAN: Let's give it until Ten TwentyFive. WATERS: Why? FREEMAN: Cause that's when it started. SMITHSON: Oh bullshit, how could you know the exact time? FREEMAN: Dillon told my brother. (Pause) SMITHSON: Bullshit! Dillon doesn't know what year it is or even which was is up. I doubt he's had an understandable thought in two years. He told your brother crap. FREEMAN: No really. My brother visits him every month man. Has been since… (Pause) it Clutching Torso Study - by Josh Bowe
WATERS: Ok, I'm officially creeped out now. Mission accomplished Alan. (Everyone Laughs). Hey, it's ten-twenty-five.
LEEDS: Don't say her name! Alan!
FREEMAN: Ok, let's go.
FREEMAN: It's ok Tabitha. Saying it once won't do anything. You have to chant it.
SMITHSON: This way?
LEEDS: Still…
FREEMAN: Yeah.
SMITHSON: You mean like… Finger Annie, Finger Annie, Finger Annie, Finger Annie…
LEEDS: Give me one of those water bottles Alan?
LEEDS: STOP IT ROSS!
FREEMAN: Ok. So what we're go…
FREEMAN: Hey Ross, cut it out!
Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on.
SMITHSON: Relax. It's a fucking ghost story you guys.
WATERS: … ever. FREEMAN: Fucking crap. It was off.
DAHLEY: But right next to the cabin… too freaky… no more man.
SMITHSON: It's not like you lost something important.
SMITHSON: Finger Annie, Finger Annie, Finger Annie… Wooooooooooo…. OW! SHIT! Tabby you fucking bitch!
FREEMAN: That's not the point. I hate leaving it in the knapsack. LEEDS: Stop it you asshole! DAHLEY: Better than carrying it by hand though. Hey, did you get a picture of that thing Tabby?
WATERS: HEY!
LEEDS: No, should I?
SMITHSON: I'll fucking stop it and start breaking your fucking neck you smack me again!
DAHLEY: Yeah.
LEEDS: Just because you don't believe…
LEEDS (As you hear the camera snap): Got it. SMITHSON: That's fucking right! I don't Hey, I still think you should just leave that here believe shit! It's fucking Halloween, and we're Ross. here to get all scared… great, I'm into that, but I'm not gonna be a fucking feeb and start SMITHSON: Why? It's cool looking. worrying a hundred year old ghost is gonna come get me because I say her name a few LEEDS: What if it was… (Long Pause) times! SMITHSON: What? Nanci's? Tara David's? Maybe… (Pause) … Finger Annie's?
(Long pause)
FREEMAN: Ross, man… just… enough… ok? SMITHSON: You know Alan, I fucking love you man, but you take this shit way too seriously, ok? When you came up with this idea, I was all like… cool… it's Halloween, great idea. Everyone from around here knows these fucking stories and this beats a stupid dance or the Fright-A-Bowlathon, but recreating the "last time" as you put it? Doing everything they did? It's going too far. Let's just camp out, and tell some ghost stories and get good and creeped out and have a Halloween to remember… ok? LEEDS: I didn't smack you… I lightly slapped you. SMITHSON: There's a difference? Crouching seated figure (abstract) - by Josh Bowe LEEDS: Ross… just… LEEDS: It's sweet. Alan, what are you doing? SMITHSON: Ok, forget it alright? LEEDS: Fine.
FREEMAN: Something is wrong with this thing.
FREEMAN: Leave that thing here man. Ok?
DAHLEY: It happened again?
SMITHSON: JESUS! Ok, ok, ok. Here look... I FREEMAN: Yeah. I don't understand this… it put the necklace back ok? Let's go. worked great all week. I'm gonna change the… FREEMAN: Ok, thanks. C'mon Dante, c'mon boy…
Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on.
DAHLEY: I really wish he'd drop that frigging bone.
DAHLEY: … works. SMITHSON: Did we lose the stories?
Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on.
FREEMAN: I think we did. I'd have to listen to the tape to be sure.
WATERS: …like it. SMITHSON: I guess so. I normally don't like wine, but this stuff is ok.
SMITHSON: Dammit. I wanted a copy of those.
FREEMAN: If we did, I'll record some for you if you want. DAHLEY: Are they coming back? SMITHSON: Yeah, you know girls; always have to go to the b…
lean back. SMITHSON: Ooh yeah, reading my mind… (Pause) … Very nice. Waters says something unintelligible. SMITHSON: Uh huh.
Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on.
WATERS: Unintelligible…my hair. Careful.
SMITHSON: … this button? Yeah, there it SMITHSON: Wanna go back to the shack? goes. You need a fucking degree in engineering WATERS: Unintelligible…cabin? Why? to work this thing. WATERS (Giggling): What are you doing?
SMITHSON: Why not?
SMITHSON: I wanna leave something for Alan WATERS: You're crazy. Doesn't that creep you to enjoy. (Pause) Something from me and you. out? WATERS: Oh? And what makes you think I'd let you record that?
SMITHSON: I'm thinking of that bed. WATERS: That bed's like a million years old.
SMITHSON: Cause ya love me baby… SMITHSON: Let's test it. (Pause) Come on, I'll WATERS (Laughing): Despite myself, I guess I protect you. do. WATERS: But… SMITHSON: Come here. (Long Pause) I like SMITHSON: It's ok. Here let me… the ones that hook in the front Rey. (Long Pause) Ok… yeah… Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on. WATERS: Oh…oh my god, Oh Ross… holy shit. WATERS: … weird. SMITHSON: I like that don't ya? SMITHSON: Who cares? WATERS: What the fuck do you think? Oh yes... No, not there… up more… yeah there… WATERS: You brought that thing with you? Didn't we leave enough? Come on Ross, no (Long Pause) … God…God…God… (Long more. Pause) Yes THERE! FUCK YES THERE!! SMITHSON: Shhh! You'll wake them up. WATERS: They're all drunk on candy wine,
SMITHSON: Ok, in a second. Just let me move this light. Hey, here's that necklace…
WATERS: Ross, fuck you. I'm not… not here. So get over it. Let's go back. (Pause) Ross? (Pause) Ross? Cut it out you asshole. (Long Pause) ROSS PUT THE FUCKING LIGHT BACK ON! (Pause) Ross STOP IT. Someone (most likely Ross Smithson) says something unintelligible. WATERS: FUCKING STOP IT ROSS!! PUT THE GODDAMN FUCKING LIGHT ON!! (Pause) Please!! Ross? (Long Pause) What are you doing? I can't see, where's the door? Is that… (Pause) What, did you lock it? ROSS CUT IT OUT! OPEN THE DOOR! Someone (most likely Ross Smithson) says something unintelligible.
Black Wings Carry Me Down - by Stan Nelson (Pause) WATERS: Ross, I don't like it in here. Let's go back. SMITHSON: Why? It's fine. WATERS: No, Ross… I can't, not here… SMITHSON: What do you mean you can't? WATERS: How can you even get it up in this place? I want to go back. SMITHSON: I can get it up anywhere baby… WATERS: It's not funny Ross. I'm not doing shit. I'm going back. SMITHSON: Come on Renee! Hey, stop… don't!
WATERS: What? It won't open! It won't open! (Pause. Banging Sounds) ALAN! SOMEONE OPEN THE… (Pause) Stop. STOP! OH SHIT THAT HURTS STOP IT ROSS!!! STOP IT!!! (Pause. Very loud scream. Pause) OH GOD, OH GOD!! OH!! FLOAT! Sounds of crying. Someone is breathing heavily. There are scraping sounds. Someone says something unintelligible. Hard to distinguish the voice. Approx. Eleven minutes goes by. Twice a scraping sound is heard. Someone coughs once. WATERS: Float. Approx. three minutes goes by. Someone giggles softly. Impossible to tell who it is. WATERS (Very softly, hard to hear): Finger Annie, Finger Annie, Finger Annie, Finger Annie… (Pause) Long. Very long. (Pause) Tulip. (Long pause) He beats his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts!
(Crying) Fucking… fu… fu… fucking hurts. DAHLEY: (Muffled): Fuck that hurt! What the Ross? Please? Ross? I'm sorry… (Pause) Ross? hell is that door made out of? Someone (most likely Ross Smithson) says something unintelligible.
LEEDS (Muffled): How can this door even… (Pause) It's open!
WATERS: No.
FREEMAN: Guys? Hey… guys?
Someone (most likely Ross Smithson) says something unintelligible.
DAHLEY: Holy Shit!! LEEDS: What the hell happened in here?
WATERS: It was fun. I liked it. Someone (most likely Ross Smithson) says something unintelligible. WATERS: Why? Why? (Pause) No. oh no…nonononononononononono (Very loud scream, goes on a long time.) SMITHSON: Number nine? Approx. eighteen minutes goes by. No sounds at all are heard, just dead air. A dog barking can be heard, muffled. Loud crashing sounds last about one minute. Approx. four minutes goes by. Dog barking constant throughout entire four minutes. Distant voices are heard. A rattle, then banging is heard.
FREEMAN: Jesus, it looks like they trashed the place! Hey! My recorder! LEEDS: They couldn't have done this! Why would they? Maybe someone else did and they heard it and came to investigate. FREEMAN: With my recorder? Where did they go then? DAHLEY: My flashlights dying… turn on that light. FREEMAN: What light? DAHLEY: That one, looks like they brought one with… (Pause). Holy. Fucking. Shit. Someone (most likely Tabitha Leeds) screams.
FREEMAN (Muffled): Stop it Dante! Ross? Open up the door, we know you're in there. Come on Ross! Not funny guys!
FREEMAN: Out, get out… we have to get out of here.
LEEDS (Muffled): Renee! Open the door! DAHLEY: Fuck that, we have to find them. (Pause) Guys? (Pause) Alan, this is scaring me. Holy shit. Whose blood is that? What if they got hurt? FREEMAN: Let's go. FREEMAN (Muffled): They're just trying to scare us…(Pause) Fuck it. Kick it in. DAHLEY: Fuck that Alan! They could be lying around here hurt! We have to help them. A loud bang is heard. FREEMAN: WE HAVE TO FUCKING GET OUT OF HERE. WE'LL GET SOMEONE TO
COME UP HERE… THE POLICE!
HERE!!
Someone (sounds like Tabitha Leeds) begins to cry.
Sounds like running through leaves here. Barking of dog in distance gets louder.
FREEMAN: Come on Mike.
FREEMAN: What? What's…? (Pause) Holy shit.
DAHLEY: We can't leave them. LEEDS: Is that… oh my God, (Pause) Alan… FREEMAN: Mike! Come back! Hey!! FREEMAN: Where's the camera? (Pause) DAHLEY (From a distance): We're gonna look Tabby! for them first dammit! LEEDS: … huh? FREEMAN: Come on Tabitha. Hey… I know… come on. FREEMAN: The camera! Where is it? DAHLEY (From a distance): Cut it out Dante! Leave th… HOLY SHIT!! ALAN GET OVER
LEEDS: In my pack… FREEMAN: Get a shot of that. LEEDS: What? Fuck… Why? FREEMAN: So the fucking police believe us that's why! Dahley: How is that going to… what the FUCK! FREEMAN: R… Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on. LEEDS: Oh please, oh please, oh please… oh God, God, God, God, God… (Pause) Dante… please… Dante… good dog… good dog. (Long Pause). No. nononono, NO!!! Sounds of a scuffle. Someone screams. Approx. one minute goes by.
LEEDS: Mommy? Mommy help me. (Pause) I want to go home… (Pause)…Cipher… Someone says something unintelligible. Smoker - by Josh Bowe
LEEDS (From a distance): I didn't want to. I… unintelligible … throw… unintelligible … I can't… I can't. (Pause) Alan? (Pause). Alan? FREEMAN (From a distance): … unintelligible… here! It's here! LEEDS: ALAN!
DAHLEY: ALAN! NO! STOP! HELP ME! ALAN!! WHAT… WHAT… Someone (most likely Mike Dahley) screams. Something heavy drags towards the recorder, getting louder. The dog barks once.
LEEDS: Finger Annie, Finger Annie, Finger Annie, Finger Annie…
FREEMAN: Tabby? (Pause) Mike get… SHIT! FREEMAN: Tabitha, we have to get out of MIKE!!! here. Tabby… TABBY! DAHLEY (From distance): What? FREEMAN: LOOK OUT!!! SHIT! MIKE LOOK OUT!!! DAHLEY (Louder): What? I don't see… what!? FREEMAN: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT FUCKING THING!? MIKE RUN!! DAHLEY: Alan! I can't fucking see… what the fuck… Alan where did you…
LEEDS: Finger Annie, Finger Annie, Finger Annie… FREEMAN: TABITHA! STOP SAYING THAT! WE HAV…. Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on. FREEMAN: … rock. Help me Tabby. Shit I think my leg is broken. Tabby? Please? LEEDS: What's in your hands Alan?
FREEMAN: MIKE RUN GOD DAMMIT IT'S FREEMAN: What are you talking about? God RIGHT FUCKING BEHIND YOU!! dammit Tabby before that thing comes back!! LEEDS: Oh no, no, no, no, no, no. DAHLEY: What are you ho…? ALAN WHERE DID YOU GET THAT? FREEMAN: MIKE! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN N!!!!!! A click is heard. The tapes shifts to Side B. LEEDS (Moaning): Cats cradle, cats cradle, cats cradle… FREEMAN: LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!!!!
LEEDS: What thing? FREEMAN: Tabby!!!! LEEDS: What's in your hands Alan? What is that? What are your hands Alan? FREEMAN: WHAT!? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? LEEDS: Long Alan. Very long. FREEMAN: TABB… Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on.
LEEDS: Why did we come here? (Pause) There's blood on the rock. Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on.
Screams.
LEEDS: There's your fucking number nine. (Pause) I was supposed to remember sixteen Alan. I remembered. (Long Pause) Alan? Unintelligible… yeah…right … (Giggles)
LEEDS (Singing and Crying): Jesus loves me… this I know… cause the bible… (pause) tells me so.
Scraping noises. Something heavy falls. Someone says something unintelligible. Approx. seven minutes goes by. SMITHSON (Mouth sounds like it's full): Jesus Wet sploosh like sounds are audible. Wept. Someone says something unintelligible. A single sharp dog's yip is heard. Tape is shut off. Tape is turned back on. Someone is whimpering. Impossible to tell who. FREEMAN: Float. FREEMAN (Barely audible): Dante…
Tape is shut off.
Tearing sound. Wet sounds are audible. Approx. two minutes goes by. FREEMAN: Long. SMITHSON: N… Nanci? FREEMAN: How long? SMITHSON: Nanci? FREEMAN: Is long? SMITHSON: Where… what's happening? FREEMAN (Straining): Ross. Trick or Treat. (Giggles. Coughs. Cough sounds wet.) SMITHSON: Alan… is that? LEEDS: Trick or Treat Ross. SMITHSON: Tabby! It's N… Untitled - by Stan Nelson Sound of something scraping. Then a tearing sound. Then a wet sploosh like sound. Someone (Most likely Ross Smithson)
Ginger Reeds Hospital 870 Middle Stream Road Twin Valley, NY 11901
TO: James Fredricks FROM: Terry Marlow DATE: 11/3/02 SUBJ: Tabitha Leeds
James, I received your request regarding Tabitha Leeds and I regret to tell you I will have to deny that request for the unforeseeable future. Miss Leeds has been unable to respond to any attempts to talk to her without extreme paranoia and rantings. We have had to sedate her almost around the clock since her arrival here on Friday morning. There is no way you'll be able to question her any time soon. Not only do I doubt she'd help your case any, there is no way I could allow it for her sake. As it was, late this afternoon she managed to rip one of her arm restraints off and smeared blood on the wall next to her bed screaming "There's a dog loose in the woods!" She drew a rather disturbing scene using her fingers as a paintbrush and her blood as paint. We took pictures of it so you can see them if you wish. Rather gruesome and perhaps important to the case. You'll have to fill me in on this local witch tale. I have never heard of Finger Annie, although looking at this picture, I might have an idea of what she's supposed to look like. You were correct about something however. Miss Leeds would not allow any female nurses to go near her except for one of them, a young woman named Heather Marshall. She has very short fingernails. Do I even want to know where you're going with that guess? I'll keep you abreast of Miss Leeds condition, but I wouldn't count on her help with what happened up there any time soon. By the way, I'm in for the poker game next Thursday if it's still on. - Terry
Untitled - by Bob Labute
Twin Valley Medical Examiners Office 1610 Long Neck Road Twin Valley, NY 11901
TO: James Fredricks FROM: Anthony Marello DATE: 11/4/02 SUBJ: Walter Landers
Jim, Just finished the autopsy on Walt. It's hard to tell exactly what was used to make those wounds, but I will tell you, it was NOT the fangs of a dog, like Timmy Landers said. The cuts are way too thick and the slices too smooth. I know how adamant he was that a dog attacked his father, but look at it this way‌ those kids spent the entire night alone with the body of their dead father in the fucking woods. Who knows what trauma induced nightmares this gave them. As for your message about possible fragments in the wounds, I did find a few tiny pieces of something, but it's not too much help. There were small flecks of fingernail matter inside the wounds. They might have been from Walt himself as he tried to stop the blood flow from his throat. So far any DNA tests have been inconclusive. I'll keep at it until I find something. To answer another question before it even gets asked, there is no way someone could file fingernails sharp enough to do the damage this did. Let's not even get me started on this insane rumor going around, ok? This sort of crap pisses me off. Listen. The blood on the clothes of the two boys might actually help me a little, so get me those clothes as soon as possible. Hey, I'm really sorry. I know you and Walt were close. Don't worry, we'll find this asshole. I have to tell you though, Bill told me there's still an APB out for that kid, Freeman, but with all of the blood found at the crime scene from Thursday night, if that kid somehow survived, he's lucky as shit to be alive, and couldn't (in my opinion) have the strength to walk, much less attack and kill a Police Officer. Again, my condolences. Please share them also with Walt's family. - Tony
Untitled - by Bob Labute
Family Life ~Cook Book For Working Families~ - by Amanda Fortin A simple and quick breakfast idea: When cooking bacon, try adding a bit of maple syrup or soy sauce. Not too much, just enough to add flavor. Side ideas: Adults prefered: {Soy Bacon} Eggs, toast w/ jam, grape fruit and a beverage of choice. Kids will love it: {Maple Bacon} Scrambled eggs, french toast w/ jam or syrup, orange and apple slices and a beverage of choice. Or do something as simple as a bowl of corn flakes, lightly sprinkled with sugar and topped off with berries and fruit of choice. Even a medley of fruit. Wash that down with an orange juice and you're on for a healthy day. Remember, Breakfast is the MOST IMPORTANT meal of the day, it's where you get your energy from. Stay healthy, eat fun! I sound like a commercial. hee hee
The Fish and the Secret Oranges - by Roger Formidable
My Journal - by Mandie Fortin Surprise! I've returned out of nowhere to fill your heads with even more funny's or crap, it's up to you to decide. I looked at my posts when visiting my column and realized something, nearly a year has gone by now. My first posting was June 07'. My anniversary is almost upon us. As you can see for all my faithful readers, that my picture has changed and there is a logo, it belongs to yet another addicting facebook application called fighter's club. It's amazing how addicting simple little games become once you enter the paralells of objectives, conversations and strategy moves, you never really know what you're getting yourself into it but once you do, you can't stop. My daughters birthday party has come and gone. Time goes by so fast. It seems like only yesterday I was holding her in my arms not knowing what the hell to do but love her with all my heart and soul and now she is 8 years old and acting mindlessly like an 18 year old with the temper and attitude of a hippo with gas. This girl will go off like a time bomb. One minute she's as sweet and loving as can be then the next everyone is running and taking cover. Having a daughter kinda makes me see what it's like to have a wife though. hee hee Sorry ladies but you know it's true. We nag, complain, cry, and cause a great deal of hublub and that is not including the monthly visitor that turns us into........well face it, if the possibility stands that in some people's eye's God could be a Woman, well then Untitled - by Belinda Da Fonseca Satin may very well fit the perfect status of a PMSing woman! Don't you agree? Eternal damnation to those that piss us off or just be in the wrong place at the wrong time and say nothing at all but it was still wrong! Usually it's the men standing at the counter snacking on a cookie and reading the newspaper but the instant the paper crinkles.....look out! My daughter has picked up a bit of........snob.......from somewhere. Don't look at me, I love everyone. My middle child is so sensitive right now, it seems she's experiencing some serious winter blahs. I can't wait till this beautiful weather comes and gives us the chance to bring our children out without bundling them to a claustrophobic stage of winterwear. We patiently await the warmth embrace of spring and summer. Where are you? I can't wait to watch my first thunder and lightening storm of the year, those are my favorite once on the nature channel I listen to for nature sounds at night....yeah yeah, go ahead and laugh but if you have my kind of sleep pattern, you'll do what it takes to knock yourself out. IT WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My son........he's still a boy but now his fav word is, "NO!" The look on his face is just the topping on the cake. A 4 yr old trying to give you the evil eye is just.....yeah, try not to laugh when he does it to you!
Untitled - by Belinda Da Fonseca
It's late and I'm running on less then 3 hrs sleep. It's almost 3am and I am starting to nod off. I'm getting a bit light headed so off I go! I'll be chattin again soon and sorry I have no recipts lately. I've been too busy to be creative with my kitchen! Soon. I promise. Soon!
***************************************************************************** After waiting ever so impatiently for spring to finally show up, the rain comes down with promise of greener days to come. Now the wait for the sun to shoot warm rays down upon us, helping melt away the filthy patches of snow littering the sides of our roads. Once you see the street cleaners out in full power, sweeping and washing away the remnants of winter, you know that CAMPING is just around the corner. I am an avid camper and I'm not talking about campers, trailers, RV's or cottages. I'm talking pitching a tent amongst the trees, mosquitos and black flies. Skunks raiding our dining tent and squirrels taking off with our chicken bones....it's happened! I love roasting marshmallows and hot dogs over an open crackling fire and watching fire flies in the trees. Swimming at the beaches and camping under the blue sky. I'm so relieved that this beautiful weather is finally amongst us. I despise winter and am not sad to see it go. So everyone, welcome spring with a smile and watch for the robins. Speaking of robins, let me know if you see one. I'm always happy to hear a robin spotting. Happy Spring Everyone.
Untitled - by Bob Labute
Pop Culture Raised on Saturday Morning Cartoons - by Pauline Harren Pare I have caught several episodes of "New Amsterdam" and I am enjoying it very much. Good writing and good characters make for a very watch-able drama with a supernatural twist. Keep up the good work FOX! Now I wish to rave about the best show currently on television. "Battlestar Galactica" returns on April 4 for it's final season. If you haven't seen this show...you can easily rent it to catch up on the plot. It proves that Science fiction does not have to be silly, campy or swamped with so many special effects that the plot becomes weak. "Battlestar Galactica" is a serious and dark show with deep moral dilemmas and realistic human behaviour form it's characters. Several other show are coming back with new episodes filmed shortly after the strike ended. The best post strike schedule I was able to find that included all networks is: http://community.tvguide.com/blog-entry/TVGuide-Editors-Blog/Ausiello-Report/Wga-StrikeFavorite/800032698
New Amsterdam - Fox Network Battlestar Galactica - Sci-Fi Network
Coffee and Cigarettes - by David Marshall Greetings and salutations, it's been a while since I posted an article but fortunately I found an old one from the paper days of RKYV and decided to dust it off and use it again. Randy has been on my back for the last several months asking, "Hey moron, are you going to write a Coffee and Cigarettes article for this month or what?". Well, when put under such pressure one tries to rise to the occasion. There are several difficulties when trying to come up with ideas every month such as finding a topic you can actually ramble on for one page about and making it lucid and interesting. So as I sit here at my computer I try to come up with anything that will make Randy happy and interest you fans at the same time. Several ideas have popped in and out of my head for the last three weeks but nothing that I truly felt passionate enough about to warrant a whole article. Perhaps I was so inspired watching my Seinfeld DVDs that I decided to write a whole article about nothing and get away with it. It gets very difficult after a while to continue talking about nothing and going on and on boring the hell out of all of you readers, but believe me I will endeavour to finish this project and continue to keep you wondering if I will ever run out of ideas. Hey! Imagine that, 5 paragraphs already. Well I think this might be a good time to wrap this whole thing up with clever statement so I will sound like I'm clever and witty. So I'd like to end this very, very soon and not waste anymore of your valuable time. Well I hope you enjoy this month's RKYV as much as I enjoyed writing this article and since this is the last sentence I think I'll end it with a period. (Note: After much medication and shock therapy, we are pleased to inform you that Dave has recovered from his mental breakdown and from now on will strive to bring you an article that actually talks about something)