Teaching the Gospel Culture by Randy F. Rubio

TEACH, AND TEACH, AND TEACH THE GOSPEL CULTURE “Culture is defined as the way of life of a people. There is a unique gospel culture, a set of values and expectations and practices common to all members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This gospel culture- or the way of life of God’s people- comes from the plan of salvation, the commandments of God, and the teachings of the living prophets. ” Elder Dallin H. Oaks, Establishing the Gospel Culture, Liahona, June 2003

Seek to bring forth and establish my Zion. Keep my commandments in all things. (D&C 14:6) And Zion cannot be built up unless it is by the principles of the law of the celestial kingdom; otherwise I cannot receive her unto myself. (D&C 105:5)

A gospel culture demands a new set of attitudes and habits from the members of the church to replace our old traditions that have become obstacles in establishing the church in the Philippines and achieving our true potential as a nation. There are many practices from the Filipino culture that has turned into common practices as well in the church. We have become “old wines in new bottles.” Such practices have greatly hampered the development of the church and will continue to obstruct our progress unless we “repent” and replace them with the gospel culture. Ever since Elder Dallin H. Oaks spoke about establishing a gospel culture, many thoughts raced through my mind when I was a stake president. I thought of all the issues and concerns pertaining to myself, my family, members’ and leaders’ attitudes and behaviors that I have attempted to address. With that in mind, I came up with my own list of those concerns.

In teaching these gospel-oriented attitudes and behaviors to the members, I benefited from a paradox I once learned: “True empowerment requires forceful leadership.” What I mean by forceful leadership is not to exercise unrighteous dominion but it means to teach the gospel culture in painstaking, deliberate, and repeated teaching. We should never tire of teaching. When it does become tiresome and frustrating, it does not justify us to quit. Teaching is the work of the long-suffering. Whenever members have reverted to the old ways, I took it as a sign that it was time to teach the gospel principles all over again. We have to be consistent with our efforts until the gospel culture becomes acts of habit. If the negative cultural traits have prevailed in our wards or stakes, we cannot entirely blame our people. It is only partly their fault. The responsibility to teach is always our job as leaders. That these bad habits have persisted in the Church is perhaps a failure of our leadership. It took someone like Elder Dallin H. Oaks, an apostle of the Lord and a special witness of Christ, to let us have it straight. The only acceptable response is to call ourselves to repentance. We find the antidotes to these so-called cultural weaknesses within the realms of our rich cultural values. For example, a person who takes his callings lightly ‘pakuya kuyakoy’ will only need to be reminded that ‘sipag at tiyaga’ is the solution to such casual attitudes towards one’s calling.

Gospel Culture

Old culture: The common practice of arriving 30 minutes to 1 hour late to our meetings or appointments. (Filipino time) Gospel culture: To arrive to our meetings or appointments at least 5 to 15 minutes before the appointed time. Principle: To arrive a little early or right on time to our meetings or appointments is to accord respect to yourself and others.

It is all too common to find ourselves being late to our meetings. As Filipinos, we have accepted this as a way of life. By condoning this practice, this old habit has extended its adverse effects much further than it should. We accept this infraction on ourselves and therefore, accept it when others do it to us. Sometimes I would purposely schedule meetings at 4:30 p.m. and with the intention of actually starting at 5:00 p.m. where members and leaders have already arrived. I found out that such accommodation did not teach punctuality. I decided to start a culture of promptness. It was not just hard on the members but it was equally hard on me as I tried to go against a long ingrained conditioning. However, that is what leadership is all about - to teach by example. We can also teach that meetings should start and end on time - Sacrament service, Sunday school, Quorum and Relief Society classes, presidency and other leadership meetings. If you anticipate you need to take much more time than allotted, it would be respectful to ask for permission to extend the meeting. Mutually agree upon the extension and not just make an arbitrary decision. Here is an example of what you could say, “I think I need a little bit more time to cover some issues and concerns. Is it okay with you if I extend our meeting to another 30 minutes?” Please request for comments and be prepared to accept some modifications. Once you have agreed to extend the meeting, stick to that time as a matter of honor otherwise your credibility becomes questionable. This practice should be the exception not the rule. We must learn to fit the agenda within the time allocation. We can help everyone by being more punctual by reminding constantly until the habit is formed. I can make the reminder in this manner. “At 4:00 p.m. we will be meeting for our home teaching activity. We expect all male members from 12 and above to come. Those of you, who are committed to come, please raise your hands. The meeting starts at 4:00 p.m. So what time are we supposed to be here? [Pause to get some response] That is right, we need to be here at 3:45 p.m. or at the very least at 3:55 p.m. There is Filipino time, and then there is American time. Most importantly, there is a Lord’s time. See you this afternoon, brethren – Lord’s time.” Whether only a few have arrived, start the meeting on time anyway. This is forceful leadership.

Old Culture: Making a promise to someone without a real intention of keeping it in order not to offend another. (Walang isang salita) Gospel Culture: We become more aware of our promises and do everything in our power to keep them. Principle: To make a promise and keep it is a sign of a person of honor and virtue. (1 Nephi 4: 30-35) This common practice of making promises without the intention of keeping them sometimes comes from our inability to say “no.” We are embarrassed to be perceived as incapable. Sometimes we do not treat the matter as serious enough and would like to dismiss the requester as soon as we can. I also found out that people do not even remember making the promise. You can teach the significance of promises more powerfully by teaching the concept of “covenants.” A covenant is a promise – a two-way promise: “Brethren, you promise to come here at 4:00 p.m. to do home teaching. You make a promise. A promise is also a covenant. When we covenanted with the Lord to accept our priesthood duties, has He made any promises to us if we stay faithful?” As this point a short reminder of the “oath and covenant” of the priesthood” (D&C 84) is appropriate with emphasis to the Lord’s promised blessings to the faithful. “So the Lord has said in D&C 82:10 “I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.”

Gospel Culture

It is also helpful to teach the same concept when extending callings or conducting stewardship interviews. I might elaborate this concept by saying, “By accepting the call to be the Ward Mission Leader, you promise to attend weekly PEC every Thursday at 7:00 p.m., attend stake leadership meeting every second Tuesday of the month at the stake center also at 7:00 p.m., conduct baptismal services, teach the Gospel Essentials class in Sunday school every Sunday, ten hours of missionary work every week, fill-up convert baptism checklist for every new convert, etc. Do you wish to commit yourself to these promises? [Pause to receive the person’s commitment] During our stewardship interviews, we will review this covenant you have made to the Lord through me today. Let me also say that the Lord has promised blessings for you when you magnify your calling.” In this way, we teach the importance of covenants. Having said that, we must also teach that saying “no” is all right if it is the truth. Old Culture: Resorting to all kinds of excuses when unable to keep a promise or commitment. (Palusot) Gospel Culture: To acknowledge our mistake, sincerely apologize, and commit to make it right. Principle: “No matter how valid the excuse, it doesn’t change performance.” Unfulfilled promises must be restituted. It is very embarrassing to admit our mistakes. If you have not made a mistake, then you are not human. If you have never admitted a mistake then you cannot be a leader. It takes real courage on our part to accept that we have committed a mistake then to apologize for the mistake and do whatever is necessary to correct that mistake. We need to teach this lesson very carefully and doing so gently at the beginning and at every instance when a teaching opportunity arises. It is important to teach that an ‘excuse even if valid does not change the fact that the assignment has not been accomplished.’ I learned this lesson very well when Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone was Area President at the time I was serving as stake president. Our stake members’ progress report was late for submission. Since I was also a church employee, he called me for a visit to his office. As soon as he to me his concern, I promptly justified to him that our stake clerk was ill and was at the time confined in the hospital. He smiled and taught me in a way I will never forget, “Randy, I can understand that you have a valid reason. But it doesn’t change the fact that our area members’ progress report will be delayed because your report has not been submitted yet. Either you do it yourself or someone does it immediately and gets it done.” With Elder Featherstone’s willingness to confront our non-performance directly but gently, I got the job done and learned a leadership lesson I will never forget. This experience taught me that the only acceptable response was to “acknowledge the mistake, sincerely apologize, and promptly rectify the problem.” Since then I have also taught others that the military has the most appropriate response when they make a mistake they say – “No, excuse, sir.” In fact, there is no valid excuse. The only feasible course of action is to act upon the assignment at once. Today we should teach that only proper response is, “There is no excuse, I sincerely apologize, and I will REPENT.” Then proceed to restitute the wrong done. Old Culture: Responding to calls or assignments without commitment. “I am not sure” is a common response. (Di ako sigurado) Gospel culture: Let our conversations be “yes” or “no.” Say yes and mean it. Say no if, in fact, it is the truth. Principle: By expressing ourselves in a straightforward manner is to be honest. (Matthew 5:37) “Are you coming to our home teaching activity this afternoon?” Sometimes the response might be – “I am not really sure.” “Would you be able to join us cleaning the meetinghouse on Saturday?” The response can be frustrating - “I might not be here or may be I will be here but I am not really sure.” Whenever we ask someone a question that requires commitment, we should be prepared to teach this simple but profound principle – the only acceptable answers are “Yes,” or “No.” So, if the person tells me he is not sure, I teach, “you only have two choices either to say yes or no.” I teach that they say yes and mean it. I teach them to say no, if in fact, it is the truth. Some are very creative about their answers. I once heard a story that when a priesthood leader was asked, “Have you committed adultery.” His unusual response was, “not yet.” Copyright © 2005 Randy F. Rubio All rights reserved “Being Anxiously Engaged in a Good Cause”

Gospel Culture

We can teach this concept emphatically: “The elders’ quorum has been assigned to clean the meetinghouse this Saturday. I need your help. I want to know if you can help us. If you are available, you can say yes and then make sure to come. If you are not available and cannot come, I can take “no” for an answer. But if you tell me ‘no’ even if you are available or just don’t want to come, then it’s between you and the Lord. ” There is no coercion just gentle persuasion. Old culture: The practice of starting new callings, assignments, or projects with initial burst of energy only to fizzle out shortly. (Ningas cogon). Gospel culture: To be enthusiastic at the beginning, then to remain enthusiastic during, and to become more enthusiastic until the end of the assignment. Principle: Eternal life is the reward to the one who will endure to the end. (D&C 14:7) It is understandable to be excited with a new calling. A new calling presents opportunities to be recognized and the new challenges provide incentive to work with enthusiasm. We experience a sudden burst of ideas and surge of energy. People notice and appreciate our efforts. Soon, however, the novelty wears off and realities set in. When problems seem unsolvable, we naturally become discouraged. It is at this stage that we begin to drag our feet. At this point, the work has become routine and mundane. The next logical stage is to experience a “just getting by” attitude. So we go through the motions of attending our meetings and become content with mediocre performance. It was in a very unlikely place where I learned how to sustain one’s motivation and passion for church work or any other endeavor for that matter. A family therapist at the World Congress of Families II in Geneva, Switzerland taught it to me in November 1999. He posed an intriguing question before us. He asked, “Why was it that old people can remain excited about life and therefore feel young while there are young people who have many more years ahead of them and yet feel old?” His succinct answer consists of only two words: “NEW PROJECTS.” He then explained that old people remained excited by continually seeking for new things to do, while some young people lose their zest for life when they stop seeking for new things to do. It lit a spark in my mind when I realized that the moments I felt renewed where those moments where I had chosen another project and yet, another challenge to overcome.

Persons who wish to be part of this gospel culture must be willing to change. The primary message of the gospel is to repent and be baptized. To repent means to change…. As members of the restored Church of Jesus Christ we must be different, like a candlestick in a dark place or the salt that gives the savor. The covenants we make at baptism commit us to live changed lives, so we can be the salt of the earth.” Elder Dallin H. Oaks

For example, holding monthly stake auxiliary training meetings (instead of the semi-annual frequency prescribed in the handbook) renewed me. It energized us all in many ways. I felt elated when all our wards accepted our challenge to participate in temple activities weekly. We did this until we reached our goal of getting enough leaders capable of performing temple ordinances during our quarterly assignments. The idea of an annual one-week mission program for youth in response to inculcating the missionary spirit on the young also excited me. I was constantly seeking for challenges to overcome, new projects, and ideas to implement. I kept on stretching others and myself to accomplish the things we have not achieved before. My counselors responded with equal vigor and they preoccupied themselves with their own new projects in their respective departments. I devoured the Church Handbook of Instructions frequently to find new ideas on how we can further improve on existing programs. During the last two months of my tenure, I decided to work the hardest. I conducted ward leadership training for seven wards for five consecutive Sunday afternoons and experimented on the guerrilla home teaching concept. I told everybody I was going to take a sprint as I ran the last few meters of my race. On the day of my release, I was as enthusiastic as the day I received my calling. I had not experienced “burning out” that others said would happen. I have found the key to sustain momentum and loved every minute of it to the very end. Copyright © 2005 Randy F. Rubio All rights reserved “Being Anxiously Engaged in a Good Cause”

Gospel Culture

I always reminded myself that one of my most important roles, as a leader, was to remain enthusiastic. If a leader is enthusiastic, enthusiasm is contagious. When a leader loses his enthusiasm, everyone else around him is also contaminated. Whatever you have already accomplished, there is still more you can do. Even with existing programs that you think are already running efficiently, there is always something that can still improve. You are yet to discover novel and creative solutions to your problems. The Lord is anxious to inspire you. The point is to set yourself “CONSTANTLY IN MOTION” and never settle for the “status quo.” Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “We do not need new programs, we just need new attitudes.” If we desire for constant improvement in our callings and raise our performance to a new level, we will never run out of new projects or new challenges that will invigorate us until the day of our release. Old culture: Not taking Church callings seriously and not exerting sufficient effort to learn duties and magnify the calling. (Pa kuyakuyakoy) Gospel culture: Take the initiative to learn duties (read the scriptures, Church handbooks, attending leadership meetings) and magnifying calling to the best of one’s ability. Principle: Let every man learn his duty and act in the office he has been appointed. (D&C 107: 99-100) Some exceptional people will go out of their way and take the initiative to learn about their duties. The majority will not. We have to be considerate to this majority. I see at least two possible scenarios when one fails to respond to a call. First, is that this person knows what to do and have the skills to do it but lacks the proper attitude. Counsel to motivate this person. The second scenario is more pervasive – one does not know what to do and do not have the skills to magnify one’s calling. Teach this person his duties and then show the skills required to perform them. You may have to lead the way first until he develops confidence. For example, a ward mission leader needs to learn how to prepare a baptismal service agenda, how to conduct the service, teach the missionary discussions, and handle a Sunday school class. Many are unable to perform their callings because they do not know how. Sometimes we make the fatal assumption that they already do. Common justifications I have heard are, “He should know how to perform his calling. He is an old member of the church,” or “He has been on a mission. He should know what to do.” Perhaps what Elder Henry B. Eyring taught is helpful here. He taught, “To assume that all members of the church are in trouble. And we are right 50% of the time.” Let us always assume that members do not know to perform their callings and we will become more discerning of their training needs. We can start by committing the person to read the handbook that pertains to his calling. We should then teach the concept of covenants and stewardship. If possible, we should go over the highlights of the calling as detailed in the handbook, explain what they mean, and ensure that the job description is clear. Reading the handbook together is also effective. Take the time to teach and mentor. Demonstrate those aspects of his calling that relates to skills. I might teach it this way: “This is the manner of preparing a baptismal service agenda….. Now let me show you the proper way of conducting a baptismal service. I will model it to you first and then I want you to try it yourself.” If we have done all we could within the bounds of our responsibilities and the person persists in not performing his calling, the sin will no longer be upon our heads. On the other hand, if all we did was to extend the calling, give the handbook, and then assume he will get the job done, the sin of omission is ours. “The gospel culture also calls upon us to exercise “faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.” This is the first principle of the gospel. People of the world, without such faith, often despair about their poverty and seeming hopelessness of world or national conditions…. With the enlightenment of our gospel culture, we have a vision of the future, and we have faith in the Lord’s promises that he will bless his obedient children.” Elder Dallin H. Oaks.

Gospel Culture

Old culture: Easily taking offense when being corrected. (Balat sibuyas) Gospel culture: The willingness to be taught and accept correction without taking offense. Principle: Not easily provoked (1 Cor 13:5); beareth all things (1 Cor 13:7) This major cultural weakness has hindered our growth. Most of us are not able to take constructive feedback. For this reason, as church leaders we do not feel comfortable giving feedback freely and thus, denying the person the opportunity to grow. This can serve as a mutual handicap between church leader and member as one is afraid to give feedback as he might offend and the other taking offense when feedback is given. As I thought more about this leadership dilemma, I began to consider why it was that at work we are more willing to receive feedback from our supervisors. Why is it that we are so afraid giving feedback or taking offense with feedback in a church setting? The answer perhaps lies in the context of our relationships. In the church, we all work as volunteers, therefore, may regard ourselves as equals. At work, the boss has a clear mandate to inform us when our work requires improvement. However, feedback is a mandatory activity if we want excellent performance from our people. I have personally attempted to overcome this challenge in this way. I might say, “One of my most important roles as a leader is to teach. I am like a basketball coach. If I were your coach, my job is not only to tell you how well you are already doing well but also which areas you still need to improve. I need to do this so you can become the top-notch player you deserve to become. Now I know you would like to become a top quality player of our team. In the process, I will let you know what you are doing well and also let you know where I think improvement is necessary. What do you think about that?” After hearing his response, I will proceed as follows: “Now feedback can sometimes hurt your feelings and that is natural. I also feel hurt when somebody corrects me. But this is a necessary exercise so we can improve. As the say, ‘feedback is the breakfast of champions.’ This is what I promise to do. I promise to teach you all that I can, if you promise me that you will not take offense. In turn, I promise to give you feedback in private and in such a way that will be considerate of your feelings. I also expect you to offer me any suggestions on how I can improve. Do we have an agreement?” I believe most people will respond positively to this kind of approach. Our role is to establish the premise where we can be free to give each other feedback. Once in a priesthood meeting, I taught the brethren this principle. Then collectively I challenged them to be willing to receive feedback as what the gospel culture requires. Everybody answered in the affirmative. I repeated our agreement whenever possible and reminded them of their willingness to receive feedback. The difference was that, in this case, I was no longer in a leadership role. I was just one of them. When I saw an opportunity to give feedback to one of the brethren, I expressed to him the concern as gently as possible within the spirit of brotherly kindness. We had a case where this one person needed correction but even the bishop was reluctant to confront. But because of our previous agreement, he willingly accepted my feedback and his feelings were not hurt. He also made the change to the relief of everyone. Teach, and teach, and teach correct principles and then let them govern themselves. As I always like to teach: “the truth hurts but the truth also sets us free.” As leaders, we need to learn the principles and rules of giving positive feedback. Pres. Brigham Young a very practical man once taught: “You are a fool when you take offense when no offense is intended. You are a greater fool when you take offense when offense is intended.” It means never to take offense at all. “Of course, not all cultural practices are contrary to the gospel culture. Some are neutral and some are strongly supportive of gospel values. For example, in many lands the culture is very family-oriented, much more so than in so-called developed nations, which are becoming very decadent in regard to family values. Here in the Philippines, for example, the people’s strong family values and their desire to be united as families give them a natural affinity for the gospel culture of eternal families.” Elder Dallin H. Oaks

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Old culture: Our proneness at backbiting Church leaders and gossiping at other people. We are too afraid to confront issues directly with others. (Tsismis at nananaksak sa likod) Gospel culture: To take issues and concerns directly to the person concerned in the spirit of reconciliation and forgiveness. Principle: It is right thing to do and only fair to talk about your concerns directly to your brother or sister. (Matthew 18: 15-17). It is our fear of giving offense when we correct members’ and leaders’ shortcomings that prevent us from addressing issues directly with persons concerned. I have such reluctance myself. Our culture has a taboo with one person telling another his shortcomings. Since we do not have the courage to say it directly to the person, our tendency is to discuss about the person’s shortcomings with others. In most instances, we only mean well but when the information reaches the person concerned, we hurt their feelings. We need to be careful with this because there is nothing more that can destroy the church faster than gossip. Avoid it like an infectious disease. We can learn to speak directly with each other if we prepared the foundation right. First, we need to teach them our role to give feedback and teach with equal emphasis that they can come to us to express their concerns. It is worth repeating this aspect throughout the course of our service. If they do come to us, we must resist the temptation of reacting negatively even if the concerns seem petty. Remember, it is so difficult within our cultural perspective for a subordinate to address his honest concerns with his file leaders. Reward them for doing so, not punished. By giving them permission to speak to us, we might be able to avoid backbiting. Backbiting is their only recourse if they are afraid to face us. We must make it easy for them to talk to us about difficult issues. The scriptures teach the manner of handling conflict among members. Teach it repeatedly to prevent misunderstanding and the proper way of resolving such misunderstanding when they occur. This is preventive teaching. Old culture: Aspiring for callings and being offended when released. Gospel culture: To neither aspire or refuse a calling. To accept a calling and a release with a grateful heart. Principle: It is not where, but how you serve. (D&C 101:42) It is easy to perceive church callings as a career path. After all, one’s church service might start as ward clerk, then elders’ quorum president, bishopric counselor, bishop, and stake president. A stake president is sometimes called as mission president or area authority seventy or even general authority. Members sometimes misconstrue it as a promotional ladder. Upon the release of someone from a prominent church position such as a stake president, we sometimes look at it as a demotion. Leaders may take such releases personally and occasionally find themselves falling into inactivity. We need to teach that there is no career or promotional ladder in the church. Everybody can serve in his own time and season. We should not aspire for callings but leave it to the Lord when and how He sees fit for us to serve. Service can be done in many ways and in many forms. One does not need a formal calling in order to make a difference. Nobody is superior or inferior in the church. We just contribute in different ways.

Don’t covet a calling or position. Don’t refuse an opportunity to serve. Don’t resign from a call. Do inform leaders of changing circumstances in your life, knowing that leaders will weigh all factors when prayerfully considering the proper timing of your release. Elder Russell M. Nelson, Conference Report, April 1993.

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Old culture: Taking our home and visiting teaching assignments as the least of callings. We are often unwilling to perform home and visiting teaching. (Home Teacher lang po ako). Gospel culture: Perform home and visiting teaching as a sacred trust from the Lord to ensure the care and attention of His children. It is as great a calling as any other in the Church. Principle: When we receive the priesthood, we also accepted the duty to watch over the Lord’s flock. The greatest man who ever lived on earth was a teacher. D&C 58:29 If our typical strategies have not worked, we should think of new ways of how we can energize our members to perform. Our failure to nourish our members with the word of God has caused massive inactivity in the church. I have treated this subject at length in my article on “guerrilla home teaching.” You will see how we have used the same principles to create new solutions to an old problem. “ ‘The teacher’s duty is to watch over the church always, and be with and strengthen them’ (D&C 20:53). This is the mandate of the Lord. I hope that home teachers and visiting teachers will experience two things: first, the challenge of the responsibility that is in their great calling, and second, the sweetness of results from their work, particularly with those among us who are less active. I hope that these teachers will get on their knees and pray for direction, and then go to work to bring these wandering prodigals back into the fold of the Church. If home and visiting teachers respond to this challenge, I honestly believe that they will taste the sweet and wonderful feeling which comes of being an instrument in the hands of the Lord in leading someone back into activity in His church and kingdom.” Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley “Instruments of the Lord” Ensign, March 1997.

Old culture: Failure to attend the required meetings in order to magnify one’s church calling. Most of the time, we have to be reminded repeatedly to get us into meetings. (Di naman talaga kailangan yan) Gospel culture: To attend all meetings required to perform one’s calling and to treat such meetings with highest priority. Principle: To be always mindful that one’s attendance and participation in meetings is necessary to learn one’s duty and contribute to the work. Discuss the importance of attending required meetings when extending the call. A follow-through will be necessary during the stewardship interviews. You can explain the purposes of meetings and emphasize the importance of attendance. For example you can say, “As the ward young men president, you will be required to attend the ward council monthly on the second Sunday of the month 12:00 noon; bishop’s youth committee meets every third Sunday of the month 12:00 noon; right after that we will hold the Aaronic Priesthood committee; mutual night activities are on Wednesdays, 7:00 p.m. Let me now explain to you what these meetings are and why you are required to attend. .…… I will need a report from you during the APC meeting on reactivation efforts…... Shall we go over the meetings and their frequencies one more time? Here is a list of all the ward meetings as well. In the beginning, I will have the ward executive secretary remind you of these meetings but after a month, I expect that you will come to these meetings on your own.” During stewardship interviews, the issue on meetings can be followed- through: “I noticed that you have not been able to come to the APC meeting last month. Would you please let me know why?” Always inquire first then you may proceed to counsel depending on the concerns that emerge. “The APC meeting is very important. If you cannot come I would appreciate receiving notice from you and one of your counselors can come in your place.” Make sure to establish this agreement during the initial call. Praise if deserved. “I appreciate you attending all your meetings regularly.” You will be wise to reinforce a person’s positive efforts and contributions during the stewardship interviews.

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Old culture: Not giving feedback or following-through on our assignments. (Walang ni ha, ni ho!) Gospel culture: To follow through on our assignments and promptly report our accomplishments. Principle: Return and report (Luke 9:10) It is a matter of seriousness that we teach our members to “return and report” on assignments given. Explain this when extending the call and emphasize it again during stewardship interviews. The expectation for a report must be clear to the member. The clerk or secretary could record the minutes and make particular attention to the assignments given to individuals. When the meeting reconvenes, the first item of the agenda should be to followup the assignments delegated. You must do this consistently to send a clear message that as a leader you expect a report on the assignments: “Brothers and sisters, I expect a report on the assignments given to you. We will not consider the matter close until you have reported back.” If members know that you expect a report and insist upon getting one, they will respond accordingly. You have to teach it persuasively and wait patiently for results. Do not stop until it becomes a part of your culture. Old culture: Sometimes we make casual references concerning confidential information with family, church members, or other unconcerned parties. Gospel culture: Keep confidential information, confidential. Do not divulge such information to any body that has no right to know including your spouse or family members. Principle: Confidential information conveyed to us by members is a sacred trust and one we should always honor and respect. The breach of confidential information is like gossip. It can erode member confidence and can be an obstacle to church growth. In fact, gossip and breaches of confidentiality not only stunt church growth but also lead to its regression. (Alma 4:10) It is so hard to recover from the consequences of these two evils. As leaders of the church, we should do everything in our power to prevent this menace from spreading. The passing of gossip is one where we have indirect control but keeping confidential information is something we have direct control. Teach this concept forcefully including the fact that such information should never be part of our casual conversations and not divulged to anybody who has no right to know including a priesthood leader’s spouse or family members. There were times that as a stake president that I ran into conflict with some members who disagreed in the manner we manage the affairs of the stake. This is inevitable and one you should accept in a leadership role. As a personal imposition on myself, I never spoke about such conflicts with my wife. I know that if I did, my wife would naturally side with me even if I were in the wrong side of the disagreement. At the same time, it will influence her perception of these people and will likely affect their relationships adversely. In this case, my wife never figured in any of these controversial issues as far as my calling was concerned. Until the end of my tenure, she was not aware of these conflicts at all. Later as most of these disagreements were resolved and these members became our friends, these old issues or concerns did not affect her in any way. I had been more than happy to forgive and forget.

A leader of the Church is also a teacher, and one of the greatest tools in teaching is example, the tool Christ always used. A wise man once observed, “Your actions speak so loudly I cannot hear what you say.” Though we may not be conscious of it, what we teach by example becomes more persuasive than what we teach intentionally by precept, and it will leave a more lasting impression on the observer. Pres. N. Eldon Tanner, “The Message: Leading as the Savior Led, New Era, June 1977.

Gospel Culture

Old culture: Priesthood holders not appropriately attired when performing Church callings. Gospel culture: To wear the very best of clothing one possesses in performing callings that represent the Lord. Principle: A priesthood holder represents the Lord Jesus Christ and must look and act the part. I have seen priesthood leaders who home teach or attend their meetings in their shorts or slippers. I also know a priesthood leader who only has one white shirt and one necktie. Others only have a white shirt and do not wear neckties. They preserve them purposely for church functions only. There are those who cannot afford Sunday clothes. This is hard to believe but this is true. Just the same, they should be encouraged to invest in appropriate clothing. Once I taught this principle to a group of priesthood bearers who came in denims, shorts or slippers on the way to home teaching. I told them there was proper attire required. It did not seem to make an impact. So I asked one of the brethren to stand up, a returned missionary. He was wearing a shirt, dress slacks but unfortunately in slippers. I asked him to introduce himself as a home teacher. This he did without difficulty. Then I asked him to introduce himself again but this time specifically informing the family that he represented the Lord Jesus Christ. He smiled then laughed and admitted that his attire was not acceptable as one called to represent the Savior. Next, I called on an older priesthood leader who was also a returned missionary. He was a terrific model. He wore long sleeves, tucked them in, in dark dress slacks and shiny black shoes. I had him do quarter turns for everyone to see. He loved it and the brethren had fun and got the message. Men must at least wear a polo shirt, a white shirt, if possible. A polo barong or white shirt with a tie when performing priesthood functions is preferable. Teach and encourage young men to wear proper attire in administering the sacrament. Sometimes we may have to help them save for white shirts or obtain donors for old neckties. Please inculcate in their young minds that there is dress code for priesthood holders. It is easier to teach them while they are young and willing to listen to counsel. We must also teach women modesty in dress and the appropriate clothing for Sunday church services and other functions. “There are many things I could say about such matters as wearing Sunday best. Do you know what Sunday best means? It used to be the case. Now we see ever more informal, even slouchy, clothing in our meetings, even the sacrament meeting that leads to informal and slouchy conduct.” Elder Boyd K. Packer “The Unwritten Order of Things.”

Old culture: Returned missionaries no longer maintain missionary standards of excellence. Gospel culture: To keep high personal standards acquired on a mission and maintain missionary grooming. Principle: A returned missionary is expected to set the example in all things and should lead the work in every way. Nothing is more disturbing to hear concerns expressed by members on returned missionaries who no longer maintain missionary grooming or do not set the proper example to the youth. Returned missionaries are our most valuable leadership pool and therefore given preferential attention they deserve in terms of counseling and motivation. Constantly remind every returned missionary of the standards of excellence he has learned on his mission and encourage him not to abandon them. When returned missionaries are not exemplary, they cause another obstacle in the church. Returned missionaries need recharging as well. An occasional special meeting by the stake president and bishop in reviewing missionary standards can be of help to reenergize this group. Individual interviews can awaken dormant potential. By seeking them out on purpose, and trying to understand their unique challenges, you can stir a sleeping giant to make a meaningful contribution in the church. Copyright © 2005 Randy F. Rubio All rights reserved “Being Anxiously Engaged in a Good Cause”

Gospel Culture

Old culture: Fast offering recipients not required to work for assistance. (Nakaka libre) Gospel culture: To stop dole-outs by requiring members who receive fast offering assistance to work. Principle: Thou shalt not be idle. (D&C 42:42) There is no shame in asking fast offering recipients to work in exchange for the assistance they receive. In fact, to work for the assistance is honorable. I have heard a comment that “why should we help and make it difficult for them at the same time.” We ask them to work in exchange for the assistance to preserve their honor. Of course, some recipients are too ill to do the work. Ask their family members to work in their behalf. What kind of work? The part-time meetinghouse custodian needs help. He only has a few hours a week and he cannot clean all parts of the meetinghouse. You may also consider asking the Elders quorum president or Relief Society president to seek for work opportunities in members’ homes. In our desperate economic situation, we may assign all kinds of work. We should not feel bad about giving them work. We should feel bad when we do not. Old culture: Irreverent behavior at sacrament meeting including talking to seat mates, little children running around, use of cell phones, etc. Gospel culture: To maintain the spirit of reverence as we partake of the sacrament to remember the atoning sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ and renew our covenants. Principle: The sacrament is the most sacred ordinance outside of the temple. (D&C 59:10) We should teach that as soon as members enter the chapel to attend sacrament meeting, they should turn their voices down, minimize fellowshipping activities, and proceed to their seats as quickly as possible. Five minutes before the meeting begins, bishopric is already seated at the stand. Remind families to sit together with particular emphasis on little children seated with their parents. When the prelude music starts, all conversations terminate, and a reverential atmosphere takes over. The spirit that should prevail is like the spirit that exists in the temple. The manner of conducting is smooth and proper. The bishopric, the conducting officer are properly attired including the brethren tasked to administer the sacrament. As the sacrament meeting proceeds, members sing the hymns with all their heart. Prayers are brief and heartfelt. Members avoid going in and out of the meeting at all cost. Bless and pass the sacrament with solemnity. Speakers focus on gospel principles, share faith-promoting experiences, build faith and inspire. Members remain quietly seated until the end of the postlude music. Such music should be brief.

Old culture: Litter of paper, candy wrappers, and food crumbs all over the chapel after services or activities. (Kalat) Gospel culture: Not to throw litter inside chapel or on its grounds. Clean chapel areas after use. Principle: Cleanliness is next to godliness. (D&C 42:41) We must emphasize that to throw litter anywhere in the meetinghouse or its grounds is an act of desecrating the Lord’s house. Teach this to everybody especially the mothers and Primary children. Make them aware where the garbage bins are located and teach them its proper use. Teach also the proper use of rest rooms and tissue paper. Teach that the church officer (or someone he delegates) who uses the room is responsible for cleaning it after use. Have auxiliary presidents assign persons for clean up. Follow-through the assignment and ensure it is done. Discuss frequently during ward council. Some mistake the Church for a place where perfect people gather to say perfect things, think perfect thoughts, and feel perfect feelings. May I quickly dispel such a thought! The Church is a place where imperfect people gather to help and strengthen each other as we strive to return to our Heavenly Father. Every one of us will travel a different road to mortality. We will each progress at different rates. Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin “Lessons Learned in the Journey of Life” Ensign December 2000.

Gospel Culture

IDEAS ON TEACHING THE GOSPEL CULTURE It is not enough to teach the principles of the gospel culture once. No teaching has ever been effective that way. Remember we are trying to reverse years of cultural conditioning. We also need many years of teaching to break these old habits. Teach it at every opportunity – at the sacrament meeting when you speak, at the ward council meeting, during stewardship interviews, in the classes for youth, single adults and adults, and during activities. Teach and teach and teach correct principles until they govern themselves. Repetition is the mother of all learning. You are and always will be a teacher. If you are the bishop, you may consider convening a special combined meeting of the priesthood brethren and RS sisters or as ward leadership training. You may also call another meeting for the youth, single adults, and older primary children. Your objective is to introduce the subject of the gospel culture to the entire ward. Teach fathers and mothers and challenge them to teach it to their children. If you have a small unit, a one-time introduction is probably more practical. 1. Assignments –Photocopy the consolidated list and cut them out as strips of paper on a per subject basis. Hand these strips of paper to the other leaders and teachers in the ward. Ask them to give an example of the negative cultural behavior and the gospel culture to correct it. Together, you can teach the gospel culture to the members. 2. Drama – If you have much longer time, use this idea to make it fun to learn. Give the strips of paper to the leaders of the ward and have them invite members to the group. A group of four or five should be sufficient. Instruct them to dramatize the old cultural practices versus the corresponding gospel culture. Let them present it like a TV sitcom. You will be surprised at their creativity. 3. Precept upon Precept– During bishopric meetings, quorum activities, PEC, priesthood classes, you can take up five cultural traits at a time. You can concentrate on the ones that your members need the most. 4. New converts – When new converts join the church, they are also accepting a new culture. Consider teaching the gospel culture to new members. It is best to teach them while they are very receptive to new changes. You will also prevent much misunderstanding that can sometimes cause inactivity especially taking offense. You could call a special meeting of new converts or those who have joined the church just in the past year. Or you can assign the ward mission leader to make it a part of the new member orientation. 5. Password – An amazing thing happened when I started teaching the concepts of the gospel culture. The members began to use it is a password or a catchy phrase to remind each other about proper attitudes and behaviors as members of the church. For example, when one wanted to emphasize the need for coming on time to a meeting, the priesthood leader only had to say “gospel culture.” Everybody smiled and understood his point. Since there was a meeting at church that afternoon, 95% of the members came on time. Use the power of brevity. 6. Example – The last and most important method of teaching the gospel culture is to show it by your leadership example. If you teach them to be on time, then you should be at the meetings at least ten minutes before it starts. You want to start a culture of work, then members must see you lead home teaching, cleaning the meetinghouse, missionary work, etc. The trite phrase “actions speak louder than words” is a wonderful reminder. Reinforce your teaching with your outstanding example in so doing you become a powerful influence, “a light that is set on a hill and the salt of the earth.” To lead people by persuasion is a holy order of God. Persuasion suggests a regeneration, a change of heart, a conviction, or renewal. Persuasion brings those we are leading to the same level of understanding that we have. It does not force people against their will but helps willing disciples to change; thus the will of the persuader and the will of the persuaded become one. Elder Vaughn J. Featherstone “The Incomparable Christ: Our Master and Model.” Copyright © 2005 Randy F. Rubio All rights reserved “Being Anxiously Engaged in a Good Cause”

Gospel Culture

For an easier reference, here is a consolidated list of the most common of our old cultural practices and the antidote found in the gospel culture. Where applicable I have cited scriptural references. You might like to look them over and use them to reinforce the principles of the gospel culture. This is not an indictment on the Filipino. While some of our cultural practices are contrary to the teachings of the gospel, as Filipinos we ought to be proud of our positive traits – family orientation, hospitality, and resourcefulness among others that have made the church grow and thrive in the Philippines.

Old Culture

Gospel Culture

Principle

The common practice of arriving 30 To arrive to our meetings or To arrive a little early or right on time minutes to 1 hour late to our meetings appointments at least 5 to 15 minutes to our meetings or appointments is to accord respect to yourself and others. before the appointed time. or appointments. (Pinoy time) Making a promise to someone without a real intention of keeping it in order not to offend another. (Walang isang salita)

We become more aware of our To make a promise and keep it is a promises and do everything in our sign of a person of honor and virtue. (1 power to keep them. (Palabra de Nephi 4: 30-35) honor)

Resorting to all kinds of excuses when To acknowledge our mistake, sincerely “No matter how valid the excuse, it unable to keep a promise or apologize, and commit to make it doesn’t change performance.” commitment. (Palusot) right. Unfulfilled promises must be restituted. Responding to calls or assignments Let our conversations be “yes” or By expressing ourselves in a without commitment. “I am not sure” “no.” Say yes and mean it. Say no if, straightforward manner is to be honest. is a common response. (Di ako in fact, it’s the truth. (Matthew 5:37) sigurado) The practice of starting new callings, assignments, or projects with initial burst of energy only to fizzle out shortly. (Ningas cogon)

To be enthusiastic at the beginning, Eternal life is the reward to the one then to remain enthusiastic during, and who will endure to the end. (D&C to become more enthusiastic until the 14:7) end of the assignment.

Taking Church callings lightly without Take the initiative to learn duties by Let every man learn his duty and act in exerting effort to learn duties and reading the scriptures and Church the office he has been appointed. magnify the calling. (Pa kuyakuyakoy) handbooks and attending leadership (D&C 107: 99-100) meetings. (Sipag) Easily taking offense when being The willingness to be taught and Not easily provoked (1 Cor 13:5) corrected. (Balat sibuyas) accept correction without taking Beareth all things (1 Cor 13:7) offense. Aspiring for callings offended when released.

and

being To neither aspire or refuse a calling. It is not where, but how you serve. To accept a calling and a release with D&C 101:42 a grateful heart.

Gospel Culture

Taking our home and visiting teaching assignments as the least of callings. Our unwillingness to perform home and visiting teaching. (Home Teacher lang po ako)

Perform home and visiting teaching as a sacred trust from the Lord to ensure the care and attention of His children. It is as great a calling as any other in the Church.

When we receive the priesthood, we also accepted the duty to watch over the Lord’s flock. The greatest man who ever lived on earth was a teacher. D&C 58:29

Not giving feedback or following- To follow through on our assignments Return and report (Luke 9:10) through on our assignments. (Walang and promptly report our ni ha, ni ho!) accomplishments. Not attending the required meetings in To attend all meetings required to order to perform one’s church calling. perform one’s calling and to treat such We still have to be reminded over and meetings with highest priority. over to get us into meetings. (Di naman talaga kailangan yan) Keep confidential information, Sometimes we make casual references confidential. Such information must concerning confidential information not be divulged to any body that has with family, church members, or other no right to know including the priesthood leader’s spouse. unconcerned parties.

To be always mindful that one’s attendance and participation in meetings is necessary to learn one’s duty and contribute to the work. Information conveyed to members is a sacred trust.

Not properly attired when coming to To wear the very best of clothing one A priesthood holder represents the Church. Priesthood holders not possesses in performing callings that Lord Jesus Christ and must look and appropriately dressed when represent the Lord. act the part. performing Church callings. Returned missionaries no longer To keep the high personal standards maintain missionary standards of acquired on a mission and maintain excellence. missionary grooming. To stop dole-outs by requiring Fast offering recipients not required to members who receive fast offering work for assistance. (Nakaka libre) assistance to work. To maintain the spirit of reverence as Irreverent behavior at sacrament we partake of the sacrament to meeting including talking to seat remember the atoning sacrifice of the mates, little children running around, Lord Jesus Christ and renew our covenants. (Pagiging banal) use of cell phones, etc.

A returned missionary is expected to set the example in all things and should lead the work in every way. Thou shalt not be idle. (D&C 42:42) The sacrament is the most sacred ordinance outside of the temple. (D&C 59:10)

Litter of paper, candy wrappers, and Not to throw litter inside chapel or on Cleanliness is next to godliness. (D&C food crumbs all over the chapel after its grounds. Clean chapel areas after 42:41) services or activities. (Kalat) use. (Kalinisan) Shopping and watching TV on To keep the Sabbath day holy by The Lord requires that we do no other Sundays. (Holy day ginagawang refraining from all kinds of things except those that honor the holiday) inappropriate activities. Sabbath day observance. D&C 59:13 Just coming to Church to attend Sacrament services. (Nakapag simba na) Not bringing scriptures to Sunday or other meetings.

To participate in all Sunday meetings To keep ourselves unspotted from the and partake of the Spirit of the Lord. world. (D&C 59: 9-10) To bring the scriptures to all Church The scripture is most basic tool of meetings. every member and leader. (John 5:39)

Gospel Culture

From the article “Establishing the Gospel Culture” (Liahona, June 2003) by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, here are some of our cultural traits that he enumerated which are contrary with the gospel culture.

Old Culture

Gospel Culture

Principle

Strong reluctance to say anything that Let our conversations be “yes” or Our communications should be will disappoint the questioner. The “no.” Say yes and mean it. Say no if, truthful and direct. (James 5:12) practice avoids offending the in fact, you can’t make it. questioner but interferes with the work of the Lord. Work is a divine gift. (Genesis 3:19) Sending one member of the family Every member of the household God has designed work as worthy abroad to work, and all the rest – even contributing to the economic well- expression of our time and talents. adults living off from the working being of the family. (Exodus 20:9) member’s earnings. Investing on the education of the Each child given every opportunity to The glory of God is intelligence. oldest child, who is then expected to receive as much education within all (D&C 93:36) provide permanently for the other the possible means of the family. members of the family. Men are somehow entitled to depend on women to support them or to carry a disproportionate share of the burden of work, including church work.

Men exercising leadership in the By divine design, fathers are home, providing for the needs of his responsible to provide the necessities family, and especially carrying the of life for their families and mothers biggest share of Church work. primarily responsible for the nurture of children.

Parents’ attitude that daughters should Sons and daughters taught to be There is no difference in the be highly disciplined workers while disciplined workers throughout their commandments of God for teaching sons allowed to run free of formative years. sons and teaching daughters. responsibilities during formative years. Young people are not taught about the Children are taught to save early for Delayed gratification – to forego importance of planning and saving for their missions and other future needs. something now because we believe in their own future, such as missions. God’s promises of blessings later. College students are not expected to Children expected to pay for their own Self-reliance is a basic condition of work, even part-time, but should be way to college by taking part-time or self-esteem. It affects confidence and supported by their families. full-time jobs. our ability to achieve. (D&C 90:18) Lying, stealing, and other dishonest To strive to be honest in all our doings. Honesty is, was, and will always be practices. Not returning to native land To be strong in the simple virtue of the best policy. after receiving scholarships. Not honesty. (Pres. Gordon Hinckley) working for assistance received. Nonpayment of missionary support commitments. Misuse of sacred funds.