ISSUE FIVE
AUTUMN 2006
Tony Robbins UK interview exclusive
Goals Use NLP to get what you want
ANLP What happens next
Sport NLP for boosting performance THE MAGAZINE FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
Leading the way forward for NLP Professionals
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Why it makes sense to be a Member of ANLP As a member of ANLP you will receive a comprehensive benefits package, which we continue to develop all the time. Whatever your skill level, from interested novice to Master Trainer, we have a membership to suit both your needs and your pocket. Join ANLP today and automatically receive: • 4 Issues of Rapport Magazine per year • Promotional search facilities for your services on-line and in newsletters • Member discounts for events, training sessions and business support services • Cross promotion opportunities with other sites and companies • Support for your local Practice Group • ANLP Trainers Referral Scheme • An ANLP Member’s Certificate • Access to the Public and Members’ Forum • ‘My Profile’ section on the ANLP website which includes: • Personalised control panel - add your photo or company logo • Promote your own training dates, workshops, case studies and news
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Regulars 4 NLP NEWS 6 DEBATE
Client related risk – how best to deal with it
8 WHAT’S NEW Welcome to another issue of Rapport, the personal development magazine. Find out the real story behind why Karen Moxom, the director of ANLP, is now running the organisation. Turn to page 14 to read the true and fascinating story behind why she paid off the organisation’s debts and how she helped save the membership from being left high and dry. Today the organisation is getting bigger and better and central to its success is its focus on what members really need to succeed. We have an exclusive interview with Tony Robbins, the high energy, worldwide NLP phenomenon. What’s more it is his first interview in the UK for over ten years! Check out what he has to say on page 34. We also have a number of health features this issue. On page 25, NLP coach Claire Hegarty talks about how she used a number of NLP techniques to heal herself of a wide-range of debilitating illnesses, while on page 32 Alison Ashley, an NLP Master Practitioner, reveals how she helped a cancer patient overcome her fear of swallowing tablets, crucial for her treatment. We also have a focus on sport this issue as well. Page 10 sees Joanna Goodman finding out why goal setting is essential for sporting triumph, while on page 18 an NLP coach tells how he helped one of the most successful rugby clubs in history avoid relegation. We also show how NLP is universal across all cultures and faiths with a fascinating feature on Sayeda Habib and her quest to bring life coaching and NLP to the Islamic world. Joanna Goodman looks at how NLP is helping autistic and special needs children to integrate into mainstream schools. William Little
The latest news
12 NLP
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New trainers’ referral scheme
20 SPA
A romantic Parisian spa
41 COLUMN
How to market NLP
43 BOOK REVIEWS The latest books reviewed
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44 AUTHOR INTERVIEW
Steve Andreas talks about the future of NLP
50 ENDNOTE
Is supervision worth it?
Features 10 GROOMING
Why goal setting is crucial to sporting success
14 NLP
ANLP - the past, the present and the future
18 Sports performance Wigan Warriors rugby league team recruited an NLP coach to see off relegation
22 Business
NLP boosts sales
25 Health
One NLP practitioner explains how she helped heal herself after 10 years of illness
Editor: William Little will@rapportmag.com Art Editor: Enzo Zanelli Advertising: David Hammond david@rapportmag.com; or call 0870 787 0026 Subscriptions and back issues: info@rapportmag.com or call 0870 444 0790; Membership: Lala Ali Khan Publisher: Karen Moxom
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28 Coaching
A Muslim life coach on how she is helping the Islamic community
32 Health
Healing phobias
34 Tony Robbins
First interview in 10 years
38 Education
NLP helps autistic children
karen@rapportmag.com; or call 0870 787 1978 Company Reg No. 05390486 Phoenix Publishing Ltd PO Box 3357, EN5 9 AJ Rapport published by Phoenix Publishing on behalf of ANLP. Printed by: Wyndeham Westway, 1 Sovereign Park, Laporte Way, Luton LU4 8EL
DISCLAIMER The views within this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, nor does the publisher endorse the products or services promoted in the magazine. Articles are for information only and intent is to inform. Readers should seek professional advice before adopting any suggestions or purchasing any products herein.
rapport: Autumn 2006...
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NLP NEWS
up! The Five Min The light ute Failure Hearted loo k at succes si
ANLPNews
The Five Minute Failure
BEST EW Kevin McAlpin Michael Millar
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The Five Minute Failure he Five Minute Failure is possibly the most exciting, and definitely the most entertaining thing to happen to self-development literature in years, so say its authors. The book is the result of a decade of research of hundreds of books and thousands of people. It takes a light-hearted look at what it takes to get ahead in business and in life. The Five Minute Failure turns the ‘success’ genre on its head by preaching utter and comprehensive failure, all doled out in a witty and memorable way by its authors, Kevin McAlpin and Michael Millar - the self-appointed Professors of Failure. The concept is based on the simple maxim that you remember the things that entertain you. That’s why last night’s soap episode is crystal clear in your mind but the details of this morning’s meeting totally escape you. The Five Minute Failure is a mine of practical information that can be applied to your daily life with the minimal amount of hassle. Kevin McAlpin is an Executive Performance Coach. As managing director of Performance Coaching International, he is a leadership development specialist delivering one-on-one and group sessions to senior executives from major companies. Michael Millar is an award-winning journalist specialising in employment and industrial relations. He has interviewed some of the UK’s leading businessmen, politicians, and unionists and witnessed firsthand some of the great successes and catastrophic failures they have orchestrated. Visit: www.collegeoffailure.com
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ANLP Trainer Play Day his is an opportunity for certified NLP Trainers to spend time together to develop ideas and best practice. It is intended as a peer group and the agenda will be set by the participants. This is a unique opportunity for skilled trainers of NLP to work some magic. This event is hosted by Joe and Melody Cheal in association with ANLP and is open to anyone who is a certified trainer in NLP. It will run on 8th December 2006, 10am to 4.30pm at GWiz Training, Maglania, 41a Bedford Road,
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Moggerhanger, Bedfordshire, MK44 3RQ. It will cost £45.00 (Cheques made payable to the ANLP or call with credit card details). This money will be used to set up a scholarship fund to be managed by ANLP. The idea is that people who would not normally be able to afford NLP training can apply for assistance. We will need to draw up a criteria for qualifying and this is something that participants on the day can also help shape. Contact: 01767 640956; melody@gwiztraining.com
NLP Practitioner Training Program he ANLP Accredited NLP practitioner training program run by UKCPD has now been formally recognised by The Association For Coaching. As well as receiving an ANLP accredited NLP Practitioner certificate,
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successful graduates of this training program will also receive a Diploma in NLP Coaching Skills, this Diploma is an AC Recognised Coaching Certification. For additional information contact www.ukcpd.net; 0870 803 0864
NLP Diploma for Health Care Professionals his course is specifically designed for all health care practitioners, including doctors, AHPs, dentists, nurses and all those who wish to make their clinical practice even more effective, and enhance their personal relationships.
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The course includes: A brief history of NLP; The NLP Communication Model; Mindset for Success and NLPs underlying foundations and principles; Improving sensory acuity; Dealing effectively with conflict; A model of personal and organisational change and much more.
The next two four-day courses start on 24 May and 14 June 2007 in London, costing £495. Book before 31st January 2007 and quote ‘Rapport’ for a 10 per cent discount. Visit: www.henwoodassociates.co.uk; 01959 522942
Explore, discover, connect… …get inspired, get results! ◆ Quality leading-edge NLP ◆ World-class trainers ◆ Programmes designed for your success ◆ Individual coaching and support ◆ Powerful results in your personal and professional life
Practitioner ◆ Master Practitioner ◆ Business Seminars ◆ Continuous Professional Development Judith Lowe ◆ Robert Dilts ◆ Charles Faulkner ◆ Judith DeLozier ◆ Joseph O’Connor Certificates co-signed by John Grinder Excellence in NLP since 1987
For information, please call 0870 7744 321
DEBATE
Clinical Risk Client related risk is an issue that every NLP practitioner needs to address. Can NLP be used on people suffering from mental health problems or should they be treated by a medical practitioner? Or is labelling illness itself the problem? Charlie Badenhop is the originator of the human potential discipline of Seishindo. He is a native New Yorker and has been living in Japan since 1985. He is a certified trainer in NLP, and a long term practitioner of self-relations therapy, Ericksonian Hypnosis, and the Japanese healing art of sei tai and seiki jutsu. Have you ever considered yourself to be a prophet? Someone capable of predicting the future? Whether for good or bad, I believe we each predict and determine our future in a way that is largely invisible to us. In regard to my professional life, the perceptions and beliefs I hold about my clients have a major impact on determining their current self image, the relationship we have with each other, and the results we achieve together. Years ago, I used to perceive myself as mainly working with “emotionally challenged” clients, who very much needed my help and expertise. At the end of a full day’s work I often felt emotionally and physically drained. When I expressed sympathy for a client who appeared to be “clinically
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depressed” their depression seemed to deepen. When I showed irritation towards clients I perceived as being “narcissistic” they complained about my lack of appreciation for them. My diagnosis of my clients was creating selffulfilling prophecies that backed up my negative appraisal of them. As time went on I found I could enjoy my work much more and get better results as well when I diagnosed my clients as being “resourceful”. One client might be a resourceful businessman struggling in his marriage. Another client might be happily married, while struggling in business. Each client being MUCH more than the problems they presented when they first visited me. I wound up transforming my practice, not by going out in the world and finding “healthier” clients. Instead I transformed my practice by realizing how resourceful my clients could be if I removed the diagnostic labels that limited what they seemed capable of achieving. I discovered the more I supported my clients efforts to achieve their full potential, the less need or benefit I accrued in diagnosing them. Moving away from experiencing the world from a dualistic model of good or bad, black or white, is another shift in
my thinking that’s had a major impact on my ability to serve my clients. Over time, I’ve come to understand every behavior can be helpful to some degree, in the proper context. For instance, I myself can be obsessive and compulsive at times. Nonetheless, I do not find it helpful to label myself as having “Obsessive Compulsive Disorder” which gives no indication of how a modicum of obsession and compulsion helps me to produce high quality products and services. My clients have behaviours that serve and limit them. As long as we don’t take any one behaviour to an extreme, then every behaviour can be valued in the proper context. Explore the world looking for disease, and you’ll likely miss most of what is healthy. Diagnose your clients and you’ll discover what’s wrong with them, at the expense of missing what’s right. Look to uncover what’s missing in your clients and tell me you don’t also look to find what’s missing in yourself. I prefer to work from a model of “wellness” and not from a model of “disease”. I find positive change is much more likely to occur when I’m expecting something good to happen! Visit: www.seishindo.org
DEBATE
Henrietta Laitt is a certified NLP trainer and business coach and runs Results for Success Ltd. She specialises in communication skills for better business. Why would you want to spend a day on a Managing Client Related Clinical Risk course? Ok so it’s not the sexiest sounding subject matter. However, it’s something we can no longer avoid as Coaches, NLP Practitioners and Trainers. Coaching continues to be one of the fastest growing service industries of the 21st century. Whilst coaching is a powerful process to help people get more out of life, things are changing and more questions are now being asked. There is an increasing concern that coaches are skilled at picking up the signs of mental ill health or psychological problems. Coaching is often based on the presupposition that a client is mentally healthy. It’s set in a frame of achieving a positive outcome. The saying “working from where you are now to where you want to get to” essentially does what it says on the tin. What if you open the tin and find out it’s a can of worms? Once you’ve taken the lid off, would you know
how to contain the situation? As one in four of us is likely to suffer from some form of mental ill-health over a working lifetime, it is essential that coaches are able to notice signs and to know what to do about them. Each of the major coaching bodies agrees with this. Did you know that coaching could be a fully regulated profession, possibly as early as 2010-2012? Coaches are increasingly taking on clients that may be beyond their scope of practice. Whilst it is recognised in the NLP world that NLP and coaching are not therapy, where do you draw the line? How do you decide who is appropriate to work with and on what information do you base your decision? And what are the implications? Would it be useful for you to know how to manage client-related clinical risk, giving yourself, and your clients peace of mind? Attending this course provided me with essential knowledge for my professional development and, to be honest, it was a good thing that initially it raised more questions than answers. There was a lot of information and having covered the most common psychological disorders, the case studies became excellent learning tools. They
sky rocketed our awareness and that’s what it’s about. It is responsible practice to pay attention to your client as soon as alarm bells ring, rather than stick your head in the sand and believe you can cope with anything. What did I learn from Lisa Wake? Establishing clear boundaries of scope and understanding the difference between coaching and therapy is crucial. I’ve also learnt how to recognise when to stop the coaching relationship, which ensures that I work with clients who are not a danger to themselves, others, or myself. As a trainer I now have clearer assessment criteria for accepting someone on to a course, and, should any psychological problems arise during the training, I know how I would manage and contain the situation from a professional, ethical and, most importantly, legal point of view. There is no easy diagnosis for mental illness - it is often based on an accumulation of signs, symptoms and behaviours over time that are not always immediately obvious. Often, on the surface, the client may start to exhibit unusual or inappropriate signs and behaviours which can appear logical or quirky. It’s when these signs and behaviours manifest beyond this point that warning bells start to ring as things don’t seem to add up anymore. Even if you don’t know the cause, your intuition is alerted that something is not right. In their full blown state, there is no mistaking the extreme symptoms as an obvious outward sign that there could be an unresolved issue with an underlying psychological cause. In these cases the client may even be at risk to themselves and others and immediate action has to be taken for the protection of all concerned. It’s important that as professionals we start to bring this subject into the open and to raise general awareness of the clinical risk that already exists. Can you afford not to know more? And remember “Mental illness affects all of us at some time either directly or through friends, family or work colleagues and is no respecter of gender, wealth or position”. Results for Success Ltd contact: henrietta@resultsforsuccess.com
rapport: Autumn 2006...
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WHAT’S NEW
Women with Passion ward-winning entrepreneur and business columnist Rebecca Jordan was in Birmingham last month to help launch a support network for women who want to succeed in business. The Women With Passion Network was launched at the Apollo Hotel, Birmingham on September 20. The Sandler Sales Institute, the world’s leading sales gurus and Action International, the world’s number 1 business coaching company, are already supporting the new group. The Women With Passion Business Development Network will meet monthly with the aim of giving its members the skills they need to make a success of their businesses. “Many women say that fear is one of the biggest obstacles they face in starting up a business,” explains Jennifer McLeod (left), Group Managing Director of Step-Up International
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Ltd, the Birmingham based business behind the Network. “Those who take the plunge are still at risk due to the high failure rate for new businesses even though women tend to last longer in business than men and are much better at relationship building. “Being a new or young business still has its challenges as the new business owner is faced with the challenges of learning how to run a business successfully as well as creating time to deliver the core business objectives.” December’s Women With Passion event will involve a half-day leadership outdoor orienteering activity in association with SGA Associates. “The network is not for every women in business, but only for those women who have passion and who want to win and succeed in business,” explained Jennifer. Email: admin@PositiveInspirations.co.uk or call 0207 871 0844.
Fast-Track NLP Sports Practitioner oin the first full NLP Sports Practitioner course in the world. The course will be run by NLP trainer Jeremy Lazarus, who is accredited by ANLP in the UK and The American Board of NLP (ABNLP). This course is aimed at: Sports Coaches & Trainers; Sports Lecturers; Fitness Professionals; Sports players of all levels who want to improve their level of performance and/or coach others to do so. The purpose of the course is to teach attendees all the leading-edge NLP Practitioner skills, and how to apply them and additional NLP skills in a sports context. The specific sports elements are taught in a separate two-day module after the Fast-Track NLP Practitioner course. The next course runs from Thurs 30 Nov to Fri 1 Dec 2006. For more information, visit www.thelazarus.com
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STRESS - DON’T LET IT GET TO YOU! he International Stress Management Association is launching a new campaign - ‘Stress Don’t Let It Get To You!’ - which aims to present a more positive, proactive and manageable approach to stress management. We often only associate stress with major life issues such as divorce or financial hardship, but a huge amount of our anxiety comes from minor dayto-day annoyances. When these build up they undermine our natural ability to cope, leaving us tired, anxious, irritable and making stress more infectious. The ‘Stress Don’t Let It Get To You!’ campaign is designed to show how easy it is for stress to pollute our lives from one person to another. ISMA want to demonstrate how positive actions can reverse that trend. National Stress Awareness Day - 1st November 2006 ‘Smile Away Stress’ on National Stress
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Awareness Day will kick off the new campaign. ISMA want to encourage as many people as possible to stop stressing and to pass on a smile! By sending out a message through as many mediums as possible throughout the day, they aim to create a mass smile, when at a certain time of the day anyone can stop whatever they are doing for just a minute and smile, think good thoughts, say kind words and experience the benefits to not just their anxiety levels but to those around them. Celebrities and health experts will be offering their support, advice, top tips and fun exercises on how they relieve stress. Schools, shops and businesses have offered their support. Start 2007 With A Smile As part of the ongoing campaign, they will also be focusing on activities for January 2007, which are all aimed to show how positive actions can stop stress. Visit: www.isma.org.uk
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GROOMING
Achieving your goals Goal setting is an integral part of success, but one that is often overlooked. Joanna Goodman looks at how NLP helps athletes set goals and win the mental game of sport portspeople and athletes regularly acknowledge that the right mental attitude can make the difference between winning and losing and this theory is proved repeatedly as we admire the focus, determination and sheer grit of our top performers in the world of sport. Master practitioner, ANLP Accredited trainer and certified NLP coach Jeremy Lazarus is a former semi-professional footballer, management consultant and finance director whose unique brand of NLP-based high performance sports coaching is achieving dramatic results for aspirational footballers, golfers, triathletes and runners over different distances, including the marathon. Jeremy’s expansion from business coaching into sports coaching was prompted by his clients. “I used your techniques and won a tennis match against someone I’d never beaten before,” said one. When more of his
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combining NLP techniques with sports psychology. His business experience would not go to waste either. “The way NLP is applied to business and sport is very similar,” he explains, “I use NLP techniques to help people develop a winning strategy that drives them to deliver on their goals.” Goals underpin Jeremy’s business - and they apply to much more than football. He emphasises that even when an athlete or sportsperson isn’t preparing for a specific competition, they’re always competing against themselves. “The concept of one’s personal best is well-documented,” he says. “Even if an athlete doesn’t win the race, beating your personal best is often a huge source of fulfilment.” Jeremy’s approach to coaching is rooted in NLP - although it encompasses other techniques too. “John Grinder said that in his experience the single key factor which stops people achieving
An example of an outcome goal would be to win a gold medal in the 1500 metres freestyle race at the 2012 Olympics clients started winning competitions, Jeremy realised that he had a winning formula as people started attending his courses and signing up for one-toone coaching specifically to boost their sporting performance. As sport had always been his passion, he decided to develop a specific coaching programme
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their goal is that they don’t have a goal beyond a goal,” he explains. “If there’s nothing to aim for next, they can become demotivated and even sabotage themselves.” Following this principle, Jeremy asks every new and potential client three fundamental questions with a view to helping them develop a series
of goals: 1. What do you want to achieve? 2. What will it do for you? 3. What is stopping you achieving it? He asks for specific responses which he uses to create a personalised coaching programme based on three levels of goal setting: 1. Outcome goals 2. Performance goals 3. Process goals Jeremy explains the concept. “An example of an outcome goal would be to win a gold medal in the 1500 metres freestyle race at the 2012 Olympics,” he says. “A related performance goal could be to swim that distance in a specific time. You can’t control whether you attain your outcome goal as this depends ultimately on other people, on the competition, but you can control your own performance and reaching your performance goal gives you the best chance of achieving your outcome goal. The process goals are the milestones you need to pass in order to get there. For example, the process goals required for the swimming example might be to swim 10,000 metres a week, swimming 100 metres in a specific time and completing at least one 1500 metre swim a week, again in a specific time. It might also be aiming for a particular distance per stroke or improving a particular swimming technique.” The objective is to develop a series of well-formed goals so that you know for sure when you’ve reached each milestone. Jeremy uses another set of NLP-based questions to help his clients
GROOMING
define their goals clearly and precisely: • What specifically do you want to achieve? • How will you know that you have achieved it? What will you see, hear, feel etc? • What is the timescale? When is the race or competition? The answers are as crucial to Jeremy as they are to the client. “If I don’t know where a client is going, coaching them is pointless,” he says. It’s also important for goals to be stated simply and in the positive and to be specific, measurable, meaningful, achievable, realistic and timely. Jeremy’s coaching technique combines the
ubiquitous SMART objectives with two other significant factors. The first is ecology, or the study of consequences. Jeremy asks every new client to give an honest answer to the central question, “What will you gain if you get it and what will you lose if you get it?” For example, spending more time training might win you the race, but it will also mean you have less time to devote to your relationship or your career. “It’s important that these consequences are acknowledged and addressed, because any internal conflict can cause someone not to give 100 per cent and to compromise their own success,” says Jeremy.
Top Tips for a Ten-Mile Run 1. 2. 3. 4.
Set a well-formed goal! Be clear why you’re running this race. Determine what it will do for you. When the going gets tough, picture yourself achieving your goal. Break the training into bite-sized chunks. These depend on where you start from and how much time you have before the race. If you’re a novice, it could be running half a mile; if you’re an experienced runner, focus on improving your time. 5. Enjoy it and make it fun because what’s fun gets done! 6. Set a goal for each training session - it focuses your training and really keeps you on track!
The second factor is a proviso that’s personal to Jeremy and fundamental to his success as a coach. “I absolutely have to believe in my clients. It’s really important that I believe that their goals are realistic and achievable. If I don’t, either I have to change my beliefs or I have to tell them that I cannot coach them.” I ask him whether it’s a matter of rapport building and get a disarmingly frank response. “I rarely consciously match and mirror,” he says. “I simply aim to make sure we’re comfortable working with each other and I can focus on what they want.” Jeremy tailors his coaching to the specific needs of his clients. Sometimes that means using NLP goal setting and visualisation techniques. But sometimes all that is needed is some wholehearted support and basic common sense. “One lady felt she needed coaching because she became nervous before an event, but the problem was that she wasn’t organised,” he says. “She simply needed to make a list and pack her bag the night before. Sometimes the simplest things can make all the difference.” His practical approach is illustrated in his Top Tips for a Ten-Mile Run. What has been Jeremy’s greatest success so far? He tells me about a triathlete whose ambition was to become an elite athlete. Completing the course in the required time meant beating her personal best. With Jeremy’s help, using NLP and visualisation techniques she achieved a time that was beyond her wildest dreams and achieved her ambition. She is currently competing in international competitions. Finally, I ask Jeremy about his own goals. He hopes to raise his profile as a coach and work with household names – both individuals and teams. His goal beyond a goal is to collaborate with a well-known sporting personality to produce a book or DVD that will bring his philosophy to sports teaching in schools and inspire children to achieve their full potential. Of course he’s already working towards this. Jeremy’s book, “Ahead of the Game” will be published in November. For further information, check out Jeremy Lazarus’ website: www.thelazarus.com or contact him at Jeremy@thelazarus.com
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NLP
ANLP Trainers Referral Scheme ANLP is offering an incentive to attract new students to the organisation. The benefits are irresistible 2. Every time one of your students makes the decision to become a member of ANLP and uses your referral code in their application (either on-line or in hard copy) we will credit your account with £5. Your student will also receive a £5 discount on their membership as a thank you for participating in the referral scheme.
t’s only natural that we would like to see all your students becoming members of ANLP, just as natural as it is for you to wonder, what’s in it for you? Well, not only will you and your students be able to take advantage of the increasing number of benefits that we are adding to our already valuable membership package, but we will pay you, as an active networker on behalf
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of our organisation, for every new ANLP member you recommend. Here’s how it works. 1. As a trainer who is registered on our referral scheme you will receive an account with us which generates a unique referral code, by which we will be able to recognise and track your contributions to ANLP on our system.
It really is that simple: You can keep a check on how much you have made by logging in to your ANLP account and clicking “Check My Earnings.” You may either draw out your money whenever you wish by emailing admin@anlp.org and requesting either a cheque or BACS payment, or reinvest it with some of the products and services we offer through ANLP. You can even use it to renew your own membership to ANLP! As a bonus, ANLP is currently offering NLP students a FREE monthly trial membership while they are qualifying. If you are registered as a Trainer Member of ANLP or run a listed Practice Group, then you are automatically a member of the Referral Scheme, so please contact us on 020 8275 1172, or 0870 444 0790 or email members@anlp.org and we will let you know your referral code.
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NLP
Getting bigger and better Last March Karen Moxom was asked by ANLP to take over the organisation, pay off its debts and help expand its role. Rapport details how ANLP is now getting bigger and better and providing expanding services to its members he Association of Neuro Linguistic Programming has been part of the ever growing NLP community in the UK since its inception in 1985. During that time it has enjoyed, and sometimes endured a constantly changing and somewhat turbulent history. Two of the key principles of NLP are being flexible enough to embrace and move forward with difficult changes, and operating from a psychology of excellence. Over the last twelve to eighteen months ANLP has become a model of these two principles of the NLP community, having gone through some major changes in its makeup.
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The Old ANLP ANLP was originally set up along the lines of a committee-led Association. Every person who joined was responsible for input in policy making, deciding the way that ANLP was run and the direction it was to take as an Association. Gradually, over the years it found itself the subject of dispute and factionalisation, meaning that much forward impetus was lost. As dissatisfied members left, the status of being a member of ANLP began to lose some of its shine. As the Membership eroded, so did the benefits. From then on, the ANLP had to rely for its funds on the kindness of its member base in continuing to subscribe to an organisation which was not able to
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meet all the demands of its membership. Crisis point was reached when members of the board realised that it would be impossible to rectify all the problems that had been identified, given the lack of funds available. In January 2005, the committee met to discuss what was to be done. They felt that the ANLP was no longer able to deliver the benefits it had promised to its members, nor fulfil the wider purpose of the ANLP within the NLP community. This was in large part down to the debt that the Association was laden with as well as a crisis of faith in the internal systems of the ANLP as it then stood. It became clear, too late, that it was impossible for the ANLP to continue to trade legally in such a situation. If the Association had been left to exist in its original form, all members would have been held responsible for paying off those debts, a fact that greatly concerned the remaining members of the committee. Members didn’t realise that the Association was in real financial difficulties. What remained of the elected volunteer committee refused to give up on the dream of creating an NLP community to be proud of, but with financial pressure mounting, they needed to act quickly to protect the members, and they agreed that the best option was to sell the assets of the company. After turning down some poor offers, they did find a buyer abroad
who only wanted the magazine and the database but did not wish to take on the existing membership. The New ANLP Karen had a long-term goal, shared some years previously on a training course, to build a supportive NLP and coaching community. Karen not only wanted to offer value and support to the existing NLP community, but to also take the message of NLP to the wider public and gain true recognition for NLP. “I was contacted by the committee because of this goal and I agreed to support the membership and pay off the debts. If I hadn’t, the assets would have been sold abroad and the members left high and dry. For me the members came first,” she says, adding: “ANLP is now a private company: that means all the debt and investment risk became my responsibility. ANLP needed a lot of investment, in both time and money.” Despite this, ANLP remains committed and responsive to every member. Karen views ANLP as a garden. “It became neglected and overgrown because nobody had the time to maintain it as it grew. It needs constant tending and nurturing so that every plant and flower can florish and contribute to creating a beautiful and strong place where people can come and be inspired.” Since taking over the helm, Karen has supported ANLP members in any way
NLP
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NLP
that she could. This has been quite a challenge, involving much work on the foundations of the business rather than at the forefront. “The first priority was to start publishing the magazine regularly again and respond to feedback by turning it into an easy read, a promotional tool for NLP.” she says. “The next priority was to improve and expand the website. This was launched July 2005 and continues to evolve - it is number one in the UK Google rankings. Members can go online to update their profile, update diary events and case studies, and join the forum. There is also an online
our commitment to past and present members - we have done that, so now we have something to shout about.” Karen fully recognises that there are some people who have issues with, and may continue to be less than pleased about what has happened to ANLP as an organisation, and she also knows that it was impossible to turn around the years of difficulty ANLP struggled with overnight. She has the focus and the patience to keep going. The Future of ANLP Karen is passionate about making NLP an integral part of society, starting with
I believed that in order to re-establish the reputation of ANLP, we needed to prove our commitment to past and present members search database facility so members of the pubic can find an NLP Practitioner, Trainer or Practice Group. Yet ANLP has been silent about this. Why? “When I took over we didn’t immediately shout about what we were doing because we were busy doing it! It took a long time to put things into place. It was probably a mistake not to shout louder,” she admits. “I believed that in order to re-establish the reputation of ANLP, we first needed to prove
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education. “If we could get NLP to people when they are teenagers or even younger we could make the difference that counts. This is why we are setting up a charity to raise awareness and funds to get NLP introduced into every school in the UK. It’s a big challenge, and developing young people by introducing them to some basic NLP skills would be so empowering. If every young person had some experience of NLP it could make such a big difference
Karen (front) and Lala - the ANLP Membership Support Team
to their lives. Not only would they be better equipped to deal with the outside world, they would end up taking this awareness of NLP into every sector of society,” she says. She says that ANLP still has a brilliant public reputation. “We are the first place the public and the media come to for information about NLP. We have put our members forward for media interviews at the BBC, and featured in many national publications from the Sunday Times to Marie Claire.” Ensuring consistent and high standards is also an integral part of the new ANLP. “Our members are Professionals in their field. We now encourage this Professionalism through the Membership Standards, CPD and Accreditation Scheme. We also offer Members discounted insurance with Towergate Professional Risks, one of the most reputable insurance companies in this field.We’ve had brilliant feedback. It helps members focus on their business, and to protect themselves as well. “We’re turning ANLP into the professional and supportive community that I dreamed about. It is where everyone can get support, information, help and advice about NLP. It functions as the promotional arm of the NLP community as well as a business support network. We are bridging the gap between the Practitioners and the public on a daily basis, via the contact forms.” Most recently ANLP has set up a trainers’ referral scheme to help trainers benefit when their students join ANLP. Trainers can receive a fee or contribute it to the fund to help establish an NLP education charity. Accreditation & Standards Policy ANLP remains an independent body and places no hierarchical value on who its members trained with or for how long they have trained. It believes that it is quality and skill that count every time when it comes to being a successful practitioner, and there are exciting plans ahead to further encourage this. Today, ANLP focuses on promoting the responsible use of NLP in all areas and maintaining a reputation of Professionalism and Quality amongst its members. Visit: www.anlp.org or call the main office on 0870 444 0790.
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SPORTS PERFORMANCE
Wigan Warriors The Wasps, one of the most successful rugby teams of all time, were about to be relegated until they recruited the help of an NLP coach. William Little reports igan Warriors, formally the Wigan ‘Wasps’ rugby league football club, is one of the most successful sporting clubs in the UK, winning trophies most years and pulling in some of the best players in the world. Yet for the first half of this season they were languishing at the bottom of the league. No club that is stuck on the bottom at the half way stage through a season has ever avoided relegation in the entire history of the rugby league. That is until now thanks to Mick Farrell, an
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NLP practitioner who was recruited to help save the club from relegation. “I’m a former rugby player and an NLP practitioner. I had just finished the Wyatt Woodsmall Advanced Behavioral Modeling course, and following that I wrote a letter to the club saying how NLP coaching could help the players get back to their previous form and start winning matches again.” The club had also recently appointed a new manager, Brian Noble who also manages the Great British Rugby
League Team. “Within two days of me sending the letter he called up and suggested a meeting,” says Mick. “He was very opened minded. He told me that he had a strong belief that the mind played a fundamental part in sports performance and success. I explained a few principles. I told him I had more tools in my tool kit that he’d seen before. I told him I’d be able to capture players previous form and remove their negative beliefs. At the end of the meeting he told me: ‘as far as I’m concerned you are
SPORTS PERFORMANCE space of time? “It was initially crisis management. The team had to start winning and they had to start straight away. The first three weeks involved attending team meetings and explaining some principles to the coaches and the players. Firstly, I explained about the importance of positive language over negative language. I wanted to eliminate coaches saying to players ‘stop missing tackles and stop dropping the ball’”. He explained that they are negative embedded commands. “The way the mind works is that it doesn’t process negatives so all it will hear is ‘drop the ball’ or ‘miss the tackle’. The whole point of the first month was to teach them how the mind works. They learnt that it is much better to say ‘make the tackle’ or ‘hold on to the ball.’ They’ll have more success focusing on what they want to achieve rather than on what they want to avoid.” Farrell also worked one-to-one with the players, who he says, despite being some of the best in the world, were so professional about their games that they wanted to learn as much as possible to improve. “When a player is playing well they do it unconsciously, but when the form goes they try to improve it consciously, becoming aware of what is gong wrong and trying to correct it consciously. That wasn’t working. So I regressed them back using NLP and hypnotherapy to when they were playing in the best
No club that is stuck on the bottom at the half way stage through a season has ever avoided relegation in the entire history of the league on the coaching staff from now on’ and the very next day I met the whole team including all the coaches.” Mick was there for the next four months and helped restore the club to winning ways. “They went from winning only two out of 16 matches to winning 10 out of 12. They avoided relegation – in fact there was not even a hint of relegation. And they missed the play offs for the title by only two places.” So what did Mick do to help restore the club’s fortunes in such a short
form of their lives and I analysed their submodalities and meta programmes.” He worked with one player who two years previously was on the verge of international selection, but who had lost his form and would try to psyche himself up before his game. “I regressed him to two years ago and elicited those states to find out why he was playing so well. Half way through he started smiling and laughing because when he played rugby well it was fun and he was happy. He didn’t know that until he had regressed.”
Mick then captured his unconscious processes and anchored them for him. “For the remainder of the season he went out enjoying every game. He was also voted man of the match for most games and has been a key element in the side and has helped enable them to win all the remaining games.” The last three months of the season he worked one-on-one for players who needed help. “They would come to see me for an hour and I would often install an anchor that they could trigger while on the pitch. I needed something that would accessible to them at all times, so not the rugby ball itself. I anchored positive feeling and past form to a clenched fist, for instance.” Mike also says that he was surprised that wasn’t initially faced with the challenge of scepticism about NLP or his place there. “Everyone was receptive. They are a professional club, steeped in a great history and will try anything to help them to win. It made my job a lot easier because there were no barriers.” Mick says that he helped the players redirect their thoughts. “I showed them how to run their brain, or run their own mind, like it was an application. They gave me positive feedback. They really believed that it helped them to improve their performance. I told them that whatever they focus on they will get more of, so if they focus on the problem, they will just get more of the same problem,” he says. He also compared the mind to a satellite navigation system in a car for many of the players. “The car doesn’t know the journey, just the ultimate destination. The navigation system fills in the journey for it. The desired state is like a post code for the mind. You set it where you want it to go and it will get you there,” he says. Mick has now been asked back next season to work with the youth squad to ensure that all the young players coming through will be positively motivated. Yet his sports performance successes haven’t been just left to the rugby field. He is currently using his toolbox to help Bury football club, golfers, and, remarkably, a 13-year-old girl who is competing in the Horse of the Year show. For more details call Mick Farrell on: 07980 924514 or email him at: lifestyle.health@btinternet.com
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SPA REVIEW
The City of Light A weekend in Paris is a heady and romantic experience, but with all the exertion of wandering around the city what better way to unwind than a stay in a spa hotel. Rapport reviews one of the best that the French capital has to offer here’s nothing more romantic and relaxing than visiting a spa in the centre of Paris and there’s no more relaxing spa in Paris than the SaintJames & Albany Hotel-Spa. It’s grand and cosy - its traditional looks stem from the fact that it was built in 1672 and was once the residence of the Ducs de Noailles. Set among lush gardens and beautiful interior courtyards, this historic site offers a peaceful haven in the centre of Paris. Most of the windows open out onto a spacious courtyard and it is hard to imagine that on the other side of the hotel is a main road running down to the Champs Elysées and the Arc de Triomphe. The hotel is located near the Tuileries gardens and the Orsay and the Louvre museums. Marie Antoinette visited here in the 18th century, and there are
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reminders of the building’s illustrious history throughout. The majority of the sumptuous guest rooms at the Saint James and Albany boast garden or courtyard views, and all have been beautifully decorated with rich fabrics and antiques. Junior suites also offer the ultimate romantic ambience for an unforgettable romantic break. Couples can spend hours in the relaxing atmosphere of the Spa Saint James. The luminescent indoor pool is decorated in a Zen style with delicate stones and subtle lighting, while a long list of pampering treatments is available. Choose from aromatherapy, facials and massages to hammam baths and beauty therapies. For more information, visit www. ghotw.com/saint-james-albany
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BUSINESS INTERVIEW
Team building Greg Lawson is a sales director in a design-based company. He and his team benefit from their company-sponsored NLP training. He applies NLP techniques to make himself and his team more successful at what they do. Joanna Goodman reports
NLP has proved most effective in our dealings with clients
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BUSINESS INTERVIEW
outts Retail are best known for their creative point of purchase display units for wellknown brands including Olay skincare, Kellogg’s cereals and Speedo swimwear. They design displays to order, produce them and set them up in stores. Sales Director Greg Lawson uses NLP to help the 28 members of his team connect with customers and win sales for a company that literally connects products and consumers. “NLP is a cross-over skill in our business,” he says. “It’s interesting from a selling perspective, but it also covers how people take in information, so it’s equally useful from a marketing perspective to develop the way our products make an impact in stores.” How did Lawson become interested in NLP? “My former boss studied NLP and told me how fantastic it was,” he explains. “So I bought a book about it and some years later I decided to take it further. I found ANLP member Michael Beale on the internet and did the practitioner course. When I moved into management, I did a sales masterclass both to make me a better sales person, and to learn how to fit NLP techniques into the training and guidance that I give my team.” Lawson reports to the board on the company’s sales performance and he’s also responsible for developing and managing his team. “NLP has proved most effective in our dealings with clients,” he says. “For example, when we take a brief, we use NLP questioning techniques to get extra information that helps us win sales.” NLP has also influenced the way Lawson and his team pitch for business. “When we visit a client for the first time, one person takes the brief and the other records the language the client uses. We take a note of key words and pick up on the way
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they communicate. Are they visual or auditory? Do they need to see something to believe it?” They then echo the client’s words and phrases in follow-up meetings. After one such meeting a client told Lawson, “You got the business because Coutts spoke our language.” And that is precisely what he’d done! “They had responded to us subconsciously, but we knew what we were doing and it was very effective,” he explains. Lawson also finds NLP useful to resolve awkward situations. “On one occasion when a client had problems with a piece of work, I instructed the account manager to do the equivalent of a swish. He wrote down all the issues on a piece of paper and then popped it underneath his pad – he literally got the problem out the way and moved the discussion on.” Lawson doesn’t expect his team to apply NLP techniques to every situation. “It’s something they fall back on when there’s no natural connection or they need to negotiate themselves out of a difficult position. “In those circumstances they use mirroring and other techniques to build rapport,” he explains. The basic skill that Lawson tries to instill in his team is an awareness of how people communicate and the need to take this into account when communicating back to them. “It’s equally important when we present to a group of managers,” he says. “The marketing manager might prefer to see an image while the buyer might simply want to know the price. So we put together a proposal that’s ok to all.” NLP techniques help Lawson produce client presentations that create a lasting impact. “The choice of words and images and the way that they are combined is critical to winning the
business,” he says. “We put a lot of thought into how we capture and hold people’s attention and get across key points so that they’re remembered.” Lawson also uses NLP to enhance written communication. “We look at client emails and pick out the key words and use their language back to them,” he says. “We write longer emails to people who prefer lots of information, whereas people who are time poor or who just want the basic facts get a list of bullet points. It’s a matter of understanding the people you’re dealing with and communicating with them accordingly.” Lawson underlines the necessity of taking a subtle approach to NLP, particularly in the commercial sector. “It’s important to move on from the wacky stuff and show people the tangible benefits of applying NLP techniques to their specific jobs,” he explains. We moved on from that by going through all the aspects of their role and finding ways of applying the techniques. Lawson feels that NLP has helped him make a smooth transition from sales to management. His role involves connecting with a variety of different people and he admits that balancing everyone’s needs can sometimes be a challenge. “Understanding other people and establishing connections are crucial management skills,” he says. “NLP has helped me become a better listener and consider other people’s views. That alone has made it worth the money.”
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HEALTH
Elixir of life Claire Hegarty gave up her job as a science researcher for a career as an NLP coach and in so doing healed herself of many long-term and debilitating illnesses. She tells Rapport ack in 2003 I was working as a scientist in a large blue chip company, in terrible health and to be honest not particularly happy. Yet this was the year that changed my life. I attended an NLP practitioner course with The Performance Partnership to learn how to become a better facilitator. Little did I know the profound and
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transformational power of these techniques. In just seven days I became a Certified Practitioner of NLP, Time Line TherapyTM and Hypnosis. I started to really discover who I was and what I wanted and realised that NLP was what I wanted to do with my life. But I was a scientist and I wanted to put the techniques to the test. The scope
to be able to do this in my career was limited so I thought the best place to start was with me. In between starting my Master Practitioner course six months later and during that course itself, I decided to put all of these skills to the best test I could think of, which was to improve my health and beat my illnesses for good.
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HEALTH
I had suffered from very bad health for about 10 years - illnesses ranging from eczema, asthma and IBS to pernicious anaemia and tension headaches to name but a few. I had been on a lot of prescription drugs and wasn’t really getting any better. A day didn’t go
better. I decided I had endured enough of this and I was determined to get rid of them for good. I thought I would give NLP, Time Line TherapyTM and hypnosis a go because we learnt to use the tools on ourselves and others during the training
By using a combination of all my skills, breathing techniques, goal setting, focusing on what I wanted and slowly coming off the drugs all of my illnesses disappeared within a couple of months by without major stomach discomfort and complete tiredness. I was also taking paracetamol, steroid inhalers and injections every month and more. When I had IBS the symptoms could be debilitating at times and I couldn’t eat. It was a horrible place to be. I was getting fed up that I wasn’t getting any
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sessions. I used all the techniques I knew, the combination of which got results very quickly. I was able to work through my emotions and retrain myself how to breathe so I could slowly come off my inhalers, for instance. I was working on the principle that the mind unconsciously runs the
body. I was working to discover the unconscious cause for all my illnesses and how I could uncreate what my unconscious mind was programming my body to do. I resolved that for every symptom there must be a stress, block, programme or even belief in my mind causing it. I was working to get at the route of my illnesses by changing the unconscious emotions and beliefs. By using a combination of all my skills including breathing techniques, goal setting, and focusing on what I wanted, I was able to slowly come off all of the drugs I was taking. Within a few months all of my illnesses had disappeared. I decided that I had to use these skills in my career and help others to do the same. I felt so passionate that this was the way to go that I resolved to work in my spare time and holidays too. By doing this I was able to set up a company in January 2004, even though I was still working full-time. Then, about 12 months later, redundancies were announced so I leapt at the chance to practise NLP and coaching full time. Since then I have shared all I have learnt about resolving my illnesses, transforming myself and my life with my clients. I am 100 per cent sure that these techniques work - I am walking and living proof of that. I have also found that what people want to achieve and are capable of achieving is dramatically increased when they are both happy and healthy. Problems with health and wellbeing are often linked with unhappiness. If you are unwell it can prevent you from having the energy to succeed and achieve your goals, but by dealing with the underlying causes of the illnesses, you can release the energy that can then enable people to do whatever they want. The fact that I was able to resolve my illnesses and succeed in business is a clear example that it works. This whole journey has made me realise that when you listen to your heart dreams really can come true. To contact Claire to learn more about her services and to book in for a free consultation call on 0151 678 3358 / 07714 853 524, info@tranceformations-pbe.com, www.tranceformations-pbe.com
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A one day workshop aimed at anyone interested in learning and experiencing the unique insights from the Riso-Hudson approach to the Enneagram. November Thursday 23rd 9:30 -5:00 Crown House, Hammersmith, LONDON. £110. inc VAT, lunch, refreshments and handouts.
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COACHING
Me and my coach Sayeda Habib has practised as a coach for over two years, working mainly with the Muslim community in the UK. Here she and a client explain how NLP has worked for them LP does not conflict with Islamic beliefs, says Sayeda Habib, NLP and life coach, whose clients mainly come from the Muslim community in the UK. The issues that people come to her with are universal, she says. “NLP is very successful in the Muslim community and discovering values are very important. I use values a lot to try to truly discover what my clients want and who they are as people. It makes an enormous difference to them,” she says. Like many people, she came to NLP following a personal crisis and became passionate about its potential to help other people turn around their lives. It turned around hers and works successfully on the clients she sees today. “I got into coaching as part of my own life journey. I went though a divorce and moved countries. I left Pakistan in 2001 and began a self-development journey. It was a difficult time and I was looking to heal.” She says that when she started taking personal development courses she realised that she had a real commitment to making a difference to others. “Life coaches definitely need a keen sense of intuition and the most important thing for a coach is listening beyond what their client is saying,” she says.
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Aisha, a Muslim woman, came to her with issues in her marriage and with her family - she had four children. “She came to me contemplating ending her marriage and was initially sceptical about how coaching might work. But she became committed to the process over time,” she says. “When we first met we began looking at different areas that needed addressing around her relationship and around her relationship with her children. She also wanted to work on her own inner confidence. We also did a little bit of training to improve her ability to create rapport and listening skills. It worked to help her to figure out and think about the impact she herself was having on her relationship and on her children. We then worked on her listening skills and visualising her own vision for her family.” She visualised what she wanted to be as a mum. Within the family she saw herself as a carer - nurturing and uniting the family.” Sayeda then worked on her relationship with her husband. “She said that he was difficult, he didn’t listen, didn’t pay her any attention and was not meeting her needs. These are universal relationship issues. When a relationship is not working out one
or both partners don’t feel they are being valued or listened to by the other partner,” says Sayeda. Aisha realised that rapport was essential to improving her relationship. Communication had deteriorated to the point that she expected things of her husband without actually saying what she wanted. It had moved into an area where her needs weren’t being expressed, so when they weren’t met, she felt slighted. Yet Sayeda says that it was a simple matter of getting to her to speak to her husband about, say, doing some housework, or looking after the children when he came in from work. This, says Sayeda, made a huge difference. Aisha is now in a different stage of her life altogether today. Her relationship, far from heading to the divorce courts, is much more productive. She has finished a degree and is now in the process of creating her own reflexology business. “Her sense of self-worth has increased a lot,” says Sayeda. “For me the greatest thing is when clients are committed to the process of coaching,” says Sayeda. “I’ll give them extra support when we are not in the sessions through the telephone and over the email. But when they become committed that is when real change happens.” Visit: www.makelifehappen.co.uk
COACHING
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COACHING
Aisha’s story We initially spoke about my goals. Sayeda helped me to make realistic goals as we went through the process. The key goal was to improve my relationship. I think before my husband didn’t know where the washing machine was. I would blame him when he didn’t help me and I resented it. However, I learnt through the coaching that I wasn’t communicating with him very well. All I had to do was ask. It sounds so simple, but I just wasn’t doing it. You forget how to ask when you don’t feel supported in your relationship, you become a different person and the way you think changes. It was almost as though I needed to learn how to walk again. I had become programmed in a particular pattern of behaving and I needed to reprogramme myself. I talked to my husband about how I was feeling without accusing him, and I listened as well. I communicated with him. I didn’t react to him. I also talked through what he was feeling as well. He didn’t have any idea because he
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was working so much. The first Friday after I had spokent to him, he came home and put the washing machine on and I wasn’t even expecting him to do it. We were both working so my week’s became less difficult with his help. It has changed everything. I was also having problems with one of my teenage sons. He wanted to do things that I felt wouldn’t benefit him. It was difficult dealing with an emotionally charged teenager. Sayeda was very supportive. She would take the emotion out of the situation. She got me to talk about how I saw my children. And I said they were like trees, like beautiful Bonsai trees in fact. She asked me to think about what I was saying. Bonsai trees are beautiful, yes, but also they are stunted. I was using a metaphor that was stunting my children. She made me say it, to realise it for myself. So we worked on another metaphor or image for how I could think about my children. Instead of tiny Bonsai trees, I imagined American Reds, enormous, tall trees. They can grow as
high they want to be. Each one is unique in their own right. I’ve learnt that I can’t be an overprotective mummy. I can be there ready with the first aid kit when they need me if they fall. I can’t stop them from doing things because they might fall, but they know that I am there for them if they do. Sayeda helped me with other goals too. She kept me motivated through my BA degree. I thought I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t coping and I even considered dropping out. She helped me to realise that it was ok to be anxious about my studies and to put my worries into perspective. I realised that I was doing well. I also remembered that I had achieved some of the goals I set myself the year before. I ended up finishing my course and getting a First. When I look back and see how much I have achieved with my family and my studies and now setting up a reflexology business, I realise that I didn’t give myself enough credit. But Sayeda has now inspired me to do even more.
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HEALTH
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HEALTH
Phobia Illness can bring on a range of side effects, including difficulty swallowing tablets that can be central to the cure. Rapport reports hobias are often thought of in a humourous way by people who don’t suffer from them. Anyone having seen a friend turn green when a flock of pigeon lands, knows what I mean. Yet phobias can be very distressing and are not the least bit funny for the person experiencing and living with them. And this is where NLP’s service to humanity is at its most effective. Phobias for NLP are what fillings are for dentists, something for which the NLP toolkit was made. Yet some phobias can prevent some people overcome more debilitating illnesses. NLP Master Practitioner Alison Ashley, for instance, recently helped a woman suffering from breast cancer deal with her fear of swallowing tablets. This probably improved her chances of survival. “The biggest problem when your health goes wrong is that you feel out of control,” says Alison. This was the case for Amanda, the 39-year-old woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer. “She had a ten-month-old son. Her life was turned upside down. She said that having a baby was meant to be the best time of her life, but now she was fighting for her life. It brings out all of the emotions and feelings that can hinder the healing process. “There’s a lot of anger and it isn’t always apparent on the surface. It is important to recognise and deal
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with this anger.” Alison reveals, however, that Amanda wasn’t dealing with her treatment very well. When she went to the cancer suite to have chemotherapy she found it a struggle to take the pills. “I got her first to make a list of all the reasons why having the treatment was important to her, to help her to remove some of the negativity she was feeling about it. She put at the top seeing her son grow up and spending Christmas with him. I got her to keep the list with her always so that when she was feeling negative or when she went to have treatment she could look at it and remind herself why it was a good thing to be having. In one session I put her into
She opened her eyes and started laughing a trance and I suggested to her that she didn’t have the treatment, but she immediately grabbed it back with her hand. She had a choice not to have it and she had chosen to continue with it. She was not being forced to have it. She needed to know that and it helped her deal with it better.” The tablets and the smell of the cancer suite were her main problems and both were tied up together. The place put Amanda into a state of
panic. “Every time she walked into the suite and had to take the tablets she became tense,” reveals Alison. Alison first dealt with the smell. “I put her into a light trance and asked her to think about the smells that were happy for her. She said that the smell of her son and his babygro in the morning made her feel happy. It smelt of fabric conditioner and of him. In the trance I turned down the submodalities of the smell of the suite and turned up the ones of the babygro. I also suggested that she take the babygro with her in her handbag so she could use it to relax when she was in the cancer suite.” This helped relax her but she was still having problems swallowing tablets, says Alison. “I used Timeline TherapyTM to help her go back to the time when she could swallow tablets easily for a headache. I got her to walk back to each time when she had taken them. We went back four times into her past and on the fourth occasion she opened her eyes and started laughing. She said: ‘I just realised how daft I was being - I can take tablets’ and that was it. She also said she needed to go to the fridge. She realised that taking them with water wasn’t working, and she would take them with orange juice instead.” Her phobia was sorted and soon after so was her cancer. “She was given the all clear, which is fantastic news.” alison.ashley@fsmail.net
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CELEBRITY
Tony Robbins Tony Robbins’ high energetic style and seemingly global dominance of the NLP lecture circuit has made him famous beyond the realm of NLP and for helping mere mortals as well as presidents. Here he answers readers’ questions
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CELEBRITY
Have you attempted, and failed, at anything in recent memory? If so, how did you handle it? Of course! Like most people, I’ve had as many, if not more, failures than successes. I’ve made mistakes in virtually every area of my life, but what I’ve tried to do is to learn from them, not only for my benefit but to make a measurable difference in other people’s lives. What I’ve learned is that life is not about success and failure; it is about meaning, the interpretation we give to each event in life, and not the event itself. Meanings are shaped by our own personal psychology and our “world view,” which includes the values and beliefs we have created to guide us in our daily living. The power of meaning cannot be overestimated. By choosing the right meaning and the right emotion, I’ve found we can do or overcome just about anything. So I don’t consider failing or succeeding as an endpoint, instead I look at how I can give the most empowering meaning to every situation I face. We can use setbacks as excuses to quit something for good, or we can use “temporary” failure as a fuel to move us toward fulfillment. If you start to look at failure as a gift, like all people who live masterful lives, you will begin to see injustices as challenges; ends as beginnings; and setbacks as opportunities to be even better.
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How has the importance or effectiveness of the Tony Robbins message changed since 9-11? Has it become more difficult to motivate people? When 9-11 happened, I was teaching the second day of a conference in Hawaii, which is six hours behind New York. So, it was 3 am when I had all of the facts from the attacks and I gathered our participants - 2,000 individuals, representing 44 nations and just about every religious affiliation on the planet. That number also included about 100 people from New York. Every emotion we humans are capable of was on display that day; it was sheer, unmitigating chaos. Some people were
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crying, some were screaming, others were fighting, and some were celebrating. Their reactions reflected the diversity of reactions taking place around the world. Over twenty participants had lost family members, friends, and businesses. One woman stood up and shared that she had just lost her husband, another person shared he had just lost his entire company and 33 of his dearest friends, and then another woman told us she had just lost her husband-to-be. He left her a message from the towers - and she played the recording aloud for us all to hear. It was riveting. Then a man stood up and said, “I’m from Pakistan. I am Muslim. I’d love to say I’m sorry and hold your hand, but the truth is, it’s retribution.” Now the room was surreal. If there ever was a time in my life that my message really needed to serve people, to really make a difference - this
home, took it and kicked me out. And then you give me back a little bathroom and I’m supposed to celebrate. And when I’m not celebrating, you come kick my ass.” Bernie’s disbelieving reaction was, “There are people who are celebrating their successes of pulling off an amazing logistical nightmare. Neither I nor anybody I know was ever raised with the concept of being a suicide bomber.” Here we had two very different meanings to the same event, but it was a great opportunity for me to assist the two men in finding a common ground and developing a connection and caring for one another - which they absolutely did. Asad and Bernie formed an organization, Passion and Action for Peace, which has worked for the last three and a half years to share strategies for tolerance in Synagogues and Mosques around the world. And Asad has since written a book called, My Jihad, My Way of Peace and Transformations. Four years later his life has been extraordinary. The interaction on the stage in Hawaii was captured on film by my colleague, Psychologist Cloé Madanes. She also followed up with them three years after the attacks to report on their progress, and you can find out all about it at www. robbinsmadanes.com. We all have the power to change what we think, what we feel in this life. If we allow the external world to control us we are in trouble. So, my job is not so much to motivate people as it is to uncover the philosophy of life, the model of the world that is working for them so they can shape their own destiny and go beyond what they are today to an even more fulfilling, robust, and truly extraordinary life. And that work has become even more important since 9-11.
Life is not about success and failure; it is about meaning, the interpretation we give to each event in life, and not the event itself was it. My challenge was to support people who were directly affected by the tragedy, while addressing the diverse reactions of the large group and somehow transform destructive emotions into constructive action. My work has never been about motivation. It’s about discovering what motive drives people and helping them to understand a more empowering meaning for human behaviour, that there is an alternate path. So, I asked two people with diametrically opposed opinions about the attacks to join me on stage - Asad, who earlier in the day had said his only regret was that he wasn’t on one of the attacking planes, and Bernie, a Jewish man from New York whose family was still in the occupied territory, and who was horrified by Asad’s perspective. Asad said, “My first reaction was, as a Muslim, hey this is retribution. Muslims feel ... you came into my
How do you use visualization in your everyday life? My wife, Sage, and I go through a daily process of cultivating an emotion of gratitude for the many gifts
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ISSUE FOUR
SUMMER 2006
Jumoké Fashola
Mental Combat has been offering excellent world class training since 1997. Terri Ann has been trained on 3 continents by 21 trainers, 7 original NLP developers
Can NLP be bad for you?
What will learning these skills give you? Michael Neill Talks about his new book
Dyslexia Can coaching help improve school work?
A delightful fulfilling life experience Advanced interpersonal Communication skills Take control of your own state and mood at will
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CELEBRITY in our lives. We take the time to think, see, and feel grateful to God for our health; for our family and friends; for the ability to make choices that create new things, businesses, and ideas; and for the incredible privilege of serving others as widely as we have. This ritual grants us incredible freedom - because the very minute you become grateful, you become rich. The frustration and stress of your everyday life diminishes, and your concerns melt away, leaving you with only the most exciting, compelling vision for your day, and for your life. When you devote yourself to practicing this form of visualization daily, your life will begin to change in the ways you envisioned. Your visions will become reality. You will connect more deeply with people, and you will take on the challenges that each day may bring with clarity, faith, and resolve. What are the biggest challenges facing most people today? In today’s world, we’re granted instant access to almost everything. But, in a culture presented with so many choices, we seem to be experiencing less sustainable joy than ever before. While we should all feel very grateful to be alive during this time,
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the downfall of today’s technology is that we often mistake our superficial desires for what we really need. As we race around meeting the demands of our busy lives, we begin to lose sight of what it is that we’re working so hard to get. Consequently, we are becoming more efficient at producing results than finding fulfillment in our lives. The key to enjoying an extraordinary life is mastering both the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. While achievement is a science that provides specific steps you can take to reach any desired outcome, fulfillment is an art. Fulfillment comes from finding a unique way to serve that gives your life meaning and allows you to learn to appreciate your life in a different way. Doing this requires that we push aside the day-to-day stimuli of our fast-paced, hi-tech world and consciously choose what we will focus on. Where your focus goes, your energy flows. When you make the decision to focus on something, the events of your life begin to take on new meaning, so you take new action and produce a new, higher level of progress. Truthfully, what makes people happiest is not success; it’s growth, or progress. Real fulfillment is knowing that no matter how great our lives already are, we are still constantly growing and progress is the key.
Why does our culture “reward people for pain and failure with attention?” The answer is simple. All human beings have within them the need to feel significant, important, or unique in some way. This is the way in which we subconsciously justify our worthiness of being loved. Without delving into the deep psychological analysis of this, it’s important to remember this: There are only three ways to be significant: One, do something significant (which requires taking risks and potentially failing and the pain that comes with that). Two, do something significantly good enough, or significantly bad enough. Or, three, do nothing but tear other people down (and then compare yourself by contrast with the illusion that by pushing them down you are moving up). Of course, this is a delusion, and, this, like any other drug, works only in the moment. In our culture we love to take individuals and celebrate with them for a time. But if they continue to be successful, too happy, or too fulfilled, others begin to feel less significant and settle for this third strategy. So when the high achievers stumble and fall, some people, consciously or subconsciously, shower them with attention and recognition to reinforce the behaviours that keep everyone on the same plane. There is a similar attraction in other cultures. In Australia for example, they even have a phrase for this behavior: “tall poppy syndrome” - you grow too tall, you get cut down. Unfortunately, when you tear someone else down, withhold appreciation for someone else’s success, you teach your own subconscious mind that succeeding equals pain, or that success will bring anger and frustration. To break out of this you must learn to reward yourself even if no one else does. We all know what is right and what serves. What is it that we do in our lives that is about something larger than ourselves? It is this behavior that we must reward, even if it is only within ourselves. If you break the rules of what you know is right, you must give yourself pain: train yourself to stay on target regardless of what your environment, friends or culture reinforce. That is true leadership - be yourself rather than letting the environment direct you. Visit: www.tonyrobbins.com
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EDUCATION
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EDUCATION
Special educational needs Cher Price uses NLP techniques to integrate autistic and special needs pupils into mainstream education in a way that benefits the whole class. Joanna Goodman reports he BBC recently reported survey findings showing that more than one third of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) have been excluded from school - some of them permanently. The Attention Deficit Disorder Information and Support Service (ADDISS) conducted a survey of 526 families as part of the first national ADHD awareness week. Sadly, 80 percent of respondents also felt that their child with ADHD had low self-esteem compared with other children. This research highlights the problems faced at school by children with learning and behavioural disorders, their disproportionate exclusion rates compared with other groups and the challenge that they present to their teachers, families and peers. The dilemma is that, for all but the most extreme cases, mainstream education is often the best way to help autistic children and others with special educational needs to develop into independent adults with the ability to interact and communicate with the rest of society. The challenge is how best to integrate them into the mainstream and educate them without disrupting other pupils and impeding their progress. Cher Price, a teacher in Sussex, uses NLP techniques to coach children and teenagers with autism and other learning and behavioural disorders which can prevent them from learning and socialising well, helping them to build positive relationships with their peers and improve their self-esteem through an educational strategy based on mutual respect and support. Her work is divided into three distinct parts:
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coaching individual students, working with mixed ability classes which include up to three or four children with special needs and training staff. The school is also planning to train student volunteers in coaching skills so that they can support their fellow pupils and help them keep up with the rest of the class or manage peer conflict situations more easily. Cher’s approach is designed to integrate children with autistic spectrum disorders into her mainstream class. NLP techniques enable her to adapt her teaching to a range of different learning styles by reflecting each student’s model of the world. Initially, she uses the Dilts technique of eye pattern tracking. “At the very first coaching session I ask students a series of simple questions and observe their eye movements to establish whether they are predominantly visual, auditory or kinaesthetic and adapt my coaching accordingly,” she says. “For example, one particular student is very visual, so instead of expecting him to listen, I use analogue marking to help him learn. I explain to the whole class what each gesture means and then incorporate the gestures into my classroom teaching so that he can keep up with the class. I’m working with the fact that he’s visual rather than expecting him to understand oral instruction.” Autistic children often have exceptional abilities and talents but struggle with routine activities and tasks. Another of Cher’s students has ADHD. “He’s massively talented musically and an incredible drummer who can master complex beats that are beyond his teachers’ abilities, but
when I started coaching him he was completely unable to organise,” she says. “He couldn’t even pack his own school bag. As he was tapping all the time anyway, I suggested he made up songs about things he needed to do. So he wrote a song for packing his bag and this helped him cope. I then realised that the same technique could be applied to spelling, remembering dates or even writing an essay. Although his internal representation was extremely muddled, when he was drumming he knew exactly what he was doing, so we developed a rhythm or a song for each task.” According to Cher, it’s a matter of getting into each student’s model of the world and adapting whatever talent and ability they have to help them cope with life in general. “I’m also trying to teach him to generalise that technique so that he can use it to address other issues,” she adds. As Cher explains, autistic children tend to have a high internal frame of reference, and are often extremely literal listeners who feel detached from the world around them. They have difficulty communicating with others and therefore often feel frustrated and misunderstood. NLP enables Cher to include them in her mainstream classes and help them connect with their teachers and peers. As the school’s coaching development manager, Cher is also devising a programme to teach NLP techniques to student volunteers. They already take it in turns to spend lunchtimes helping other children with reading and acting as student counsellors, so that anyone with a problem, such as bullying, has someone their own age to turn to. Cher explains
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EDUCATION that the addition of NLP techniques will enable them to support their peers and also to learn from them as they gain an insight into other people’s model of the world. Cher is also bringing NLP into the classroom. “Some teachers have volunteered to let students into their lessons to see how they interact with their classes. We will be teaching them NLP techniques like rapport and reframing, so that students of all abilities can learn to ask the right questions to get the answers they need,” she says. “This helps them get inside the teacher’s model of the world. It’s teaching them about learning.” Modelling is a key factor in Cher’s approach. “It’s the repetition that gets through to kids,” she explains. “If they only understand 50 per cent of a technique when you show them the first time, it won’t be effective when they try it. And then they won’t believe it works.” Cher genuinely identifies with the children she teaches. As a gifted child, she was bored at school and made up excuses to avoid going. “Then I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, which gave me a good
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that everybody learns differently. I get autistic children to demonstrate their special skills and abilities so that the rest of the class can see that, in one area at least, these children are streets ahead,” she says. “It gives the autistic children peer respect, which is extremely important for their confidence.” Unsurprisingly, Cher herself has become a role model to her class and she uses this to everyone’s advantage. “Children will always model their teacher’s behaviour,” she says. “If a teacher doesn’t have respect for a student because they’re different, or too challenging, they’ll immediately pick that up. But if you believe in them, they’ll live up to your expectations. I believe in being honest with them and respecting their model of the world. I don’t pretend to know everything - in fact I love it when I don’t know the answer to one of their questions because it’s good for them to know that I still love learning!” For more information please contact: Cher Price on 01273 239054 Cher@Clearskycoaching.co.uk
If they only understand 50 percent of a technique when you show them the first time, it won’t be effective when they try it. And then they won’t believe it works reason to stay away,” she explains. “So I understand what it’s like to find it a challenge to maintain some focus.” Her treatment included cognitive behaviour therapy, which she followed up with NLP. “NLP worked much faster and really helped my recovery,” she adds. After a year working in a special school, she began mainstream teaching and decided to learn more about NLP and how it could help her students. Eventually she qualified as a practitioner under the guidance of ANLP Accredited trainer Terry Elston, who also works with children with learning and behavioural problems. NLP underpins Cher’s teaching philosophy, which is based on encouraging students to develop an awareness of their own model of the world and to respect that of others. “I try to teach them the pedagogy of learning so that they understand
COLUMN
Building Your Business Allan Smith, an experienced trainer of NLP based programmes, advises NLP trainers how to build their business and boost sales
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ou may remember a couple of issues of Rapport ago that a simple one-page flyer fell out.
That was a letter from me to all of you trainers out there that wanted help in building your business. I was offering to focus on working with you to build sales using my background in NLP, selling and growing businesses. I anticipated five replies. Boy was I wrong! Over twelve weeks after my letter dropped out of your copy of Rapport, I am still receiving calls and emails from trainers who want to build their businesses. This is probably a good time to apologise to all those people who I have yet to reply to. I am sorry I have not yet got back to you to work out how we can work together; you can rest assured that I will. I have discussed my experience with Karen Moxom, the Director of ANLP and she has asked me to share my experiences with you in this article. It seems to me that we can break down the needs you have into seven stages:
Stage one: help to decide what you want to focus on, what sort of people you want as clients, how your training fits in with your desired lifestyle, geography, financial targets, and time available. Many people I have spoken to over the past three months have assumed they want to build an NLPbased training business. In reality many of you want to design and train and have little interest in running and building a business. Stage two: develop a business or marketing plan to make your objectives happen. This needs a detailed approach which does not seem to come naturally to many trainers. This stage also needs a disciplined approach to decide which markets not to tackle. Many of you will remember that when you said “I can deliver anything,” I replied “then we will sell nothing”. I appreciate it is challenging to set limits to your marketplace but you do only have 100 days a year to sell. Stage three: help to generate leads for new business. Many excellent trainers have no knowledge of how to do this. This is a phase that is probably best contracted out. Stage four: from the initial meeting with a prospect to the first piece of business. Many of you have no experience or desire to deliver this phase. Again, another opportunity to partner with someone who is able to do it for you.
Stage five: designing and delivering the first piece of work to a new client. At last! The stage that most of you really want to do and are brilliant at. My view? Stick to this bit! Stage six: turning one piece of work into a long-term relationship. Managing an account to generate repeat business requires different skills to any of the other stages. You may need to generate an account plan, monitor and evaluate each relationship, and so on. Stage seven: support to build your business. You may need help to deliver all the stages of building a business apart from actually designing and delivering great training. This is an outline of the needs you guys have as I see it. I’m not claiming to have all the answers and would welcome any ideas you have to help our members. Our plan is to write a series of articles to help you at each of these stages, so that you can become more successful in building your business and delivering NLP-based training to as many clients as possible so we can make a real difference. Contact Allan via www.ignite. me.uk or www.allyoudo.co.uk
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Six Blind Elephants: understanding ourselves and each other “I’m always impressed by Steve’s depth and breadth of knowledge and his willingness to push out the boundaries of NLP thinking and development. This book is yet another outstanding contribution to the field.” —Julian Russell, NLP Trainer & Transformational Executive Coach, PPD Consulting Ltd, London “Steve Andreas is an important innovator in the field of psychotherapy, and in this book he has succeeded at a monumental task. The distinctions that he makes are templates for understanding the essence of human understanding.” —Jeffrey K. Zeig, Ph.D., Director, The Milton Erickson Foundation. “This is NLP, but not as we know it. Steve presents simple new distinctions that offer innovative ways to understand how we think and change. I’d be pleased if I’d written a chapter of this, because every one is packed with realizations that emerge out of skillfully chosen examples, revealing what has been hidden in plain view. Breathtaking insights follow, as they do with any true advance in the study of human thought. All this,and he has the humility not to announce that NLP is superseded, and Six Blind Elephants is the replacement. Our field—and I’m thinking much bigger than NLP—has a new must-read; get it today.” —Richard Bolstad, NLP trainer, and author of Resolve: a new method of therapy, and Pro-fusion: creating a life of abundance.
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Volume I Fundamental Principles of Scope and Category 292 pp. Trade paperback, 6" x 9"
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Volume II Applications and Explorations of Scope and Categoryy 294 pp. Trade paperback, 6" x 9"
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Read the Contents, Introduction, andd Excerpts at: realpeoplepress.com/booklist/new.html
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by Steve Andreas, author of Transforming Your Self: becoming who you want to be, and Virginia Satir: the patterns of her magic, co-author off Heart of the Mind, and Change Your Mind—and Keep the Change. Western Europe: order from Anglo American Book Co. anglo-american.co.uk/index.php?page=home
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Other regions: Order direct from Real People Press, realpeoplepress.com/
BOOK REVIEWS
rapport book review Achieve your goals: Strategies to transform your life Andy Smith £6.99, Dorling Kindersley Part of the new DK series Worklife, Achieve Your Goals is a brand new pocket-sized book providing essential information on how to, well, achieve your goals. Andy Smith is an ANLP Accredited NLP trainer and has written other books, as well as running courses for organisations such as Sony, GlaxoSmithKline and the NHS. The book is a clear and concise guide that departs from most other NLP books by its use of colour photographs, which are used as examples
of visualisations. While the sections are short, they encapsulate all that is needed for someone to set about changing their life. The usual techniques are included such as SMART as well as TimeLine, but the illustrations and clear examples make this a very reader friendly and thus ultimately practical and helpful book. By being so concise, readers can give themselves more time to work on their goals rather than being bogged down by detail.
The Mind: A User’s Manual John Taylor £14.99, Wiley John Taylor is a professor of Mathematics at King’s College, London and has worked on consciousness and the mind for many years, investigating the paranormal, brain imaging and neural network modelling of brain regions. He has now put all this work into a book or rather a manual, which, he says, will help readers understand their consciousness. Unlike Andy Smith’s book, it is heavy-
weight and idiosyncratic and focuses to some extent on ways in which people’s minds are overtaken by drugs and religious fanaticism. He focuses also on free will but at the same time delves into ways you can improve your attention. While it is, according to the author, based on the latest science, it is also a philosophical and individual account of the mind, and that is where its interest lies.
Your attitude determines your altitude Fabrizio Poli £9.99, Pen Press Publishing Fabrizio Poli’s book seems to have a life of its own. It has more reader reviews on Amazon that many more well-known books. Virtually all the readers have given it five stars, except one which gives it a guarded 4 and a half stars. One woman from Lancashire says: “I know I can achieve things I only ever dreamed of. My attitude is more positive than it has been in the past and I can already feel the change in me and I’m loving it! I so recommend this book for all those who want to have more in their lives and be happier. I really enjoyed reading this book. The style is easy and the book is laid out so you can read straight through it or dip into it. Although
it perhaps tries to cover too many areas, offering advice on happy marriages and correct eating habits, the ideas are always thought-provoking and you are constantly asked to questions your assumptions.” Whether you want to succeed in business, be a successful leader or, more importantly, know more about yourself and how your mind works then you’ll find a lot to think about in these pages. The title captures the tone and approach of the book: it’s full of good humour and cleverly twists your perception of previously held conceptions. This book is for anyone who wants to be a `life-long learner’
rapport: Autumn 2006...
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AUTHOR INTERVIEW
Steve Andreas Steve Andreas, author of Six Blind Elephants, answers questions about his latest book and the future of NLP How did you become interested in NLP? Most people say that it was an overnight conversion and that they immersed themselves in it from the moment they heard about it. Did this happen to you? How has NLP changed your life both
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44 ...Autumn 2006: rapport
personally and professionally? I had been doing Gestalt Therapy for seven years, when I went to an impromptu presentation by Eric Marcus at a Gestalt Therapy Conference in August, 1977. He had just come back, very excited, from five days with Bandler and Grinder. What really
hooked me, and my wife Connirae, was that everything that he said, most of which sounded pretty improbable and outrageous, could be easily tested. So we went around asking people how many doors they had in their house, and what wet fur felt like, and what a purple hippopotamus on roller skates
AUTHOR INTERVIEW
would look like, and watched their eye movements and body movements. The confirmation that we got from those observations kept us going back for more, and we automatically travelled to any Bandler/Grinder workshop in the US that was four days or more for the next several years. Since then it has been my major interest, and it has become a part of our lives, our relationships, our child-rearing, everything, because it makes sense out of so much of the confusion that most people find themselves in so often. What is the most important or fundamental aspect of NLP today in terms of it being used to help the vast majority of people on the planet? Our brains and thinking is the most recent development in human evolution, and we don’t understand it very well yet. We get into all sorts of messes, killing each other over the words that we use, the clothing that we wear, a particular piece of real estate, or the imaginary friends that we have in the sky. All of these result from not realizing that the map is not the territory, and taking our maps very very seriously. Understanding how we do this, and how we can avoid doing it, will probably be humanity’s major task for the next several hundred years, if we survive that process at all.
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Why did you write Six Blind Elephants? What was the key motivator behind it, and how does it move on or develop from your earlier books? Our earlier books, like Heart of the Mind, and Change Your Mind – and Keep the Change were mostly collections of different specific practical methods or techniques that we taught in seminars for reaching specific outcomes. My previous book Transforming Your Self, was much more integrated, a detailed modelling of the nominalization “self-concept” - all the different aspects of how we generalize about ourselves, and how to change that when it results in problems. Six Blind Elephants is an even deeper and broader exploration of the nominalization “generalization.” We select certain scopes of experience and collect them into a category, and
3
then use one prominent member of the category to represent all its members. That very useful and important process can easily get us into trouble if we don’t realize what we’re doing. Then I go on to explore how categories are grouped together into more general categories, and also subdivided into more specific categories, to create logical levels of thinking, based on a mathematical concept called “class inclusion.” This is a pure process distinction, with very simple and clear criteria for how to determine logical levels independent of content. This is very different from Robert Dilts’ “Neuro-logical Levels,” and most other uses of the term “logical levels,” and it is also very different from Michael Hall’s “Meta-States,” neither of which have a clear operational definition for how logical levels are determined. Writing Elephants has been an amazing journey of exploring an underlying simplicity that makes sense out of the complexity and richness of our experience. Your books are well thought out and extensive. Do have a method for writing? Do you write an hour a day, and how do you keep yourself motivated? People write entire books about how to write books; curiously, most of them are unreadable. Some people write the same book over and over; they just change the order and titles of the chapters. Let’s take the last question about motivation first. I have a small image of the finished product, directly in front of me, about 18 inches away, and a little above eye-level, sort of dark and shrouded in mist. That image is always there, continually drawing me toward it. It is the last thing I’m aware of before sleep, and it is the first thing that I’m aware of when I wake up in the morning - even when other tasks may prevent me from actually working on a project for some weeks. I’m sure others do it differently, but some kind of persistent image provides the continual motivation, the tenacity to get a longterm project done. As for the process of writing, I am a morning person, so I get up early and
4
do anything that takes my best brain-power between then and about 1 or 2pm. I also need privacy and quiet, with few other distractions. I write about whatever topic interests me at the time, jot notes when I think of something, collect examples and quotations, and later figure out how to organize and edit it. Years ago I used recordings and transcripts of talks to get me into the state of talking to real people, in contrast to relating to paper or a computer screen. I’m fond of saying that I am a lousy writer, but a hell of an editor, because I take the time to edit over and over again. You give an example of scope and category in the introduction to volume 1 of Elephants in which you categorize your wife’s request for a yellow sticky as “picky” because she didn’t want a pink one. It wasn’t until the larger scope of the fact that she was sticking it to a pink letter showed that it was a reasonable request, which meant that she wasn’t being picky. Do you think that people automatically think of a negative reaction or judgement, especially when they are busy or focused on something else? And that they need to actively work on increasing their scope to get a better understanding before they categorize, as this isn’t a natural state.
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rapport: Autumn 2006...
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AUTHOR INTERVIEW
Yes, certainly. When someone is “focused” that means that they are experiencing a limited scope, which is often useful in accomplishing something. When someone is concentrating on getting a job done, they may automatically respond to any distraction with annoyance and blaming others. I have often done this myself, but usually I can now take a broader perspective that is a lot more resourceful and enjoyable. You have a lot of new techniques and tools developed in the books. Explain how you came up with these - the process of developing a new tool. Do you use the tools on clients before you write about them? Which is the one that gave you most pleasure or excitement - emotional or intellectual - in developing? First, “intellectual excitement” is as emotional as any other kind of delightful discovery of beauty, seeing some scope or pattern that you didn’t see before. When a great jazz songwriter was asked which of his songs he liked the best,
6
it, and test it in a few people. Much of the material in Elephants was initially “road-tested” in a “research” seminar that I co-taught with Charles Faulkner, which only NLP master practitioners were invited to. With a group of intelligent people who are experienced in examining their own process using NLP distinctions, you can harvest a lot of great patterns in a very short time. Another factor is that with a good foundation of understanding, you can often know ahead of time what will work and what won’t. As Einstein said, “There is nothing quite so practical as a good theory.” You’ve often criticised NLP as a quick way to make a dollar, and talked more about how it should be used to help people forgive so that the world is a safer place? Do you still believe this? I think every field attracts people whose scope is so narrow that they are willing to take advantage of others in order to make money, and that tends to drive people away so that nobody
7
Our brains and thinking is the most recent development in human evolution, and we don’t understand it very well yet he replied, “The next one.” That is a change in scope from the past to the future, and from the category “best of many,” to a single scope of delight in novelty. I enjoy discovering new patterns, and after studying them for a while, I get bored with them. When I was given “word problems” in high school algebra, I loved translating the words into mathematical expressions, but then I couldn’t be bothered with the boring work of actually solving the equations. That is a metaphor, which combines with the previous statement to create a category, and becomes a memorable “prototype” representation for the entire category. Usually I notice a pattern in one person, or in myself, and then generalize
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...Autumn 2006: rapport
makes much. (I have always disliked that verb, because only the government and counterfeiters actually “make” money.) When I was younger, most people spoke of earning money, a verb that directs attention to what you are providing that is valuable enough for others to be willing to exchange money for it. Forgiveness is only one of many ways to become liberated from a burden using NLP methodology. Anger certainly is a problem for many people, and it often results in violence, which is usually a problem for many others as well. Many people suffer from grief, from poor boundaries that don’t protect them well from others’ intrusions, past traumas, and many other problems that NLP methods can already dependably
resolve. Money is nice, and NLP can also help people earn money and use it more wisely so that they don’t need so much of it, but often money isn’t the real issue, and solving it doesn’t address the change that will really make someone’s life better. You have written that, “Quite a number of NLP trainers, including some of the bigger names in the field, are teaching patterns without any ecology frames whatsoever. That doesn’t solve problems, it only exchanges one problem for another, and the new one is sometimes worse than the first.” Could you explain what you mean in more detail what “unecological patterns” are? An unecological pattern is any method that doesn’t take into account the broader scope of someone’s experience in space and time when making a change. Every change involves both advantages and disadvantages, gains and losses. Often the disadvantages are minor, and well worth the gain, but if you don’t examine both carefully, you have no way of deciding whether or not that is true. Any time a goal is pursued with a narrow scope that ignores other people, later consequences, it is likely to be unecological. John McWhirter has pointed out that what we usually call an “ecology check” in NLP is really a congruence check, checking that in the client’s experience it appears to be ecological. A real ecology check would need to ask the client’s spouse, children, parents, employer, doctor, neighbours, etc. if they have any objection to the change being made. Usually that is impossible, so we have to be content with a congruence check, and that is far better than not checking at all. But it does not serve us to deceive ourselves that this kind of check has a much larger scope than it does. Someone’s boss or spouse may object vehemently to the client changing, even though the client thinks it is fine. That doesn’t mean the client shouldn’t change, but it’s very helpful for them to be aware of others’ objections, and be prepared to deal with them in some way. www.steveandreas.com
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47
NETWORKING
rapport networking contact Practice Group of the month
Henrietta Laitt talks about the Richmond NLP Group
he Richmond NLP Group, (aged 10) ‘...probably the largest NLP Group in the world...’ Whether that statement is true or not, I’m passionate about getting NLP out to a wider audience. For fellow NLP’ers and those new to NLP, to meet like minded people and feel supported in their ongoing NLP practice and personal development. There are two complimentary groups which meet monthly (except August and December) providing a welcoming and friendly setting where you can meet to learn more about NLP. You will find value in each session you attend, learning things you can take away and use in your everyday life. Most important of all, is to bring along with you a sense of curiosity and fun. The Speaker Sessions, are ‘open to all’ from those who are ‘just curious’, to trainers. Each session stands alone with expert speakers sharing
T
England - North
North Yorkshire
Cheshire, Ellesmere Port
Tel: 016242 310 022
Nancy Moss Tel: 077 8900 6856 Email: Nancy.moss@nhs.net
Lancaster Practice Group
Lisa & Mark Wake Email: Awakenconsulting@aol.com www.awakenconsulting.co.uk
North Yorks & Cornwall Elizabeth Pritchard
their experience and knowledge of applications of NLP in education, health, business, personal development and much, much more. The new NLP Skills Practice Group is for Certified Practitioners and above, to practice core NLP skills and techniques in a safe environment. This will help you to stretch and challenge yourself to increase your flexibility, allowing you to use your NLP skills easily and effortlessly in all areas of your life For further details got to www. RichmondNLPGroup.org.uk or if you want to be added to the mailing list, please send your name and email address to Henrietta@RichmondNLP Group.org.uk Henrietta Laitt is a Certified Trainer of NLP and Business Coach who specialises in Advanced Communication Skills for Better Business.
England - South Bedfordshire Melody Cheal Tel: 01767 640956 Email: info@gwiztrainig.com www.gwiztraining.com
© Henrietta Laitt 2006
Hertfordshire Your Life Matters NLP & Hypnosis practice group Mick McEvoy Tel: 0208 387 0277 Mob: 07973 386 639 Email: mick.mcevoy1@ntlworld.com
Tel: 01326 212 959
Berks - Reading
London - Hampstead
www.zeteticmind.com
Anne-Marie Halliwell
Najma Zaman
E: dave@depthfour.com www.depthfour.com
North Cumbria - Carlisle
Tel: 020 8926 1297 mob: 07950477318
Lancs - Nr Clitheroe
Tel: 01228 517 716
Tel: 01189 831659/ 01189 835 202 Mob: 07778 150641
Dave Allaway Tel: 01524 847 070
Dawn Haworth Tel: 01254 824 504 Email: admin@nlpand.co.uk www.nlpand.co.uk
Anne Munro-Kua & Adrian Banger Email: anne@annemunro-kua.com www.annemunro-kua.com
North West & North Wales (Chester)
Leeds - West Yorkshire
Gary Plunkett
Liz Tolchard
Tel: 08707 570 292
Tel: 01943 873 895 Mob: 07909 911 769 Email: liztolchard@hotmail.com
Manchester NLP Group Gary Plunkett
Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk nlp4fun@aol.com
North West Business and Emotional Intelligence Group (Manchester)
Email: amh@cmcgconsultancy.com www.cmcg-nlp.com
Michael Beale Tel: 01908 506563 Mob: 07944 388621
Bucks NLP & Coaching
Tel: 020 7249 7472
Tel: 07976 246151
London East - Stratford, E15
Email: alisonbmatthews@yahoo.co.uk
Sharon Eden
England South
Email: andy@practicaleq.com www.manchesternlp.co.uk
London Practitioners Jeremy Lazarus
Susanna Bellini & Philip Callaghan
48 ...Autumn 2006: rapport
Tel: 01904 636 216 Email: info@bronze-dragon.com www.bronze-dragon.com/nlp_group. shtml
(Business) Mark Underwood
Alison Matthews
Tel: 0845 83 855 83
York
www.nlpgroup.freeserve.co.uk
London - Central
Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk nwnlpgroups@aol.com
Tel: 0191 456 3930 Mob: 0777 228 1035
Tel: 07970 639552 Mob: 07970 639552
Email: michaelbeale@ppimk.com www.ppimk.com
Andy Smith
Philip Brown
London - Central Adrian Hope-Lewis
Bucks - Milton Keynes
Tel: 08707 570292
Newcastle Upon Tyne
Email: firstpath@btinternet.com
Tel: 020 8349 2929 Email: Jeremy@thelazarus.com www.thelazarus.com
Tel: 020 8597 9200 Email: sharon.eden@livinzest.com
London NLP & Hypnosis Practice Group Phillip Holt Tel: 08451 306213 Mob: 07061 003 003 Email: enquiries@nlp-london.com www.nlp-london.com
NETWORKING
North London NLP
Sussex - Chichester
Devon - Torquay
Tom MacKay
Emily Terry
Chris Williams
Tel: 07815 879 055
Tel: 01243 792 122 Mob: 07810 876 210
Tel: 0781 354 9073
Email: info@evolutiontraining.co.uk www.evolutiontraining.co.uk
Devon & Cornwall NLP Practice Group
Email: tom@mackaysolutions.co.uk www.northlondonnlp.co.uk
London West - Richmond NLP Group (Skills and Practice Group & Speaker Sessions)
Sussex - Worthing
Nick Evans
Email: jim@espconsultancy.co.uk
Tel: 01579 345 523 Mob: 07832 357 208
Tel: 0208 874 8203 Mob: 07880 614 040
West Sussex - Chichester
Email: nick@nlp-southwest.co.uk www.nlp-southwest.co.uk
Email: henrietta@resultsfor success.com www.resultsforsuccess.com
Tel: 07838 387 580
Dorset
Email: andrew@23nlpeople.com www.23nlpeople.com
John Chisholm or Brian Morton
Henrietta Laitt
Oxford Jan Freeston Tel: 01865 516 136 Janinefreeston@aol.com
South East London & City Simon Hedley Tel: 07930 275 223 Email: londonpractice@psithinking. co.uk www.psithinking.co.uk/londonnlp practicegroup.htm www.ultimatecalm.com
South London NLP Practice Group Elizabeth Petch & Richard Hagan Tel: 07747 607 717 Email: elizabeth@crestcoaching.com www.crestcoaching.com
South Croyden David Hamilton Tel: 020 8686 9952 Mob: 0776 964 3912 Email: davidh@realnlp.co.uk www.nlpacademy.co.uk
Sussex - Brighton Association of NLP Practitioners Terry Elston Tel: 0800 074 6425 Email: enquiries@nlpworld.co.uk www.nlpworld.co.uk www.nlp-brighton-assoc.org
Sussex - Brighton
Andy Austin
England - East Cambridgeshire Phil Jones
Tel: 01202 42 42 50 Email: john@creative-leadership.co.uk bmhrd@btinternet.com www.nlpdorset.co.uk
Scotland Aberdeen Christine Burgess Tel: 01309 676 004 Email: nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk
Edinburgh Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence Tel: 0131 664 7854 msnlp@btconnect.com
Edinburgh NLP Practice Group Patrick Wheatley & Sheena Wheatley Tel: 07765244030/ 0131 664 4344 Email: wheatley.co@btconnect.com sheena@changingperceptions.org.uk www.changingperceptions.org.uk
Tel: 07711 711 123
Hants - NLP South
Email: phil@excitant.co.uk www.cambsnlp.co.uk
Tel: 01794 390 651
Glasgow
Email: heatherapy@aol.com www.nlp-south.org.uk
Mina McGuigan
Tel: 08707 461 257 Mob: 01473 326 980
England - Midlands
Email: mina@nlpacademyscotland.co.uk www.nlpacademyscotland.co.uk
Email: nlp@lifechangingtherapies.co.uk www.lifechangingtherapies.co.uk/ colnlp.html
East Midlands NLP Group
Glasgow - NLP in Education
Essex - Colchester
Nigel Heath
Julian Campbell
Essex - Southend Pauline Oliver
William Wood Tel: 01332 347141 x2556/ 01332 669364
Tel: 01236 610 949 Mob: 07916 275 605
Jeff Goodwin Tel: 0870 060 1549/0141 248 6484 Email: jeff@nlpscotland.com www.nlpscotland.com
Tel: 01702 203465
Midlands - Birmingham Mandy Ward
Inverness (Highlands of Scotland)
Ipswich
Tel: 0121 386 2854 Mob: 07740 075669
Rosie O’Hara
Email: mandy.ward3@virgin.net
Email: nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk
Steve Marsden or Mark Spall Tel:01473 214923 (Steve) 01473 652054 (Mark) Email: steve_marsden@btopenworld. com www.markspall.com/IpsNLP.htm
Redbridge - Ilford Glenda Yearwood Tel: 020 8708 3876 Email: glenda.yearwood@redbridge. gov.uk www.redbridge.gov.uk
Tel: 01309 676 004
Northants - Northampton Ron Sheffield Tel: 01604 812800
Wales
Email: ronald.sheffield@virgin.net www.nlpgroups.org
Shropshire & Mid Wales Practice Group
West Midlands Worcestershire
Nick Greer
Sharon Rooke & David Smallwood
Tel: 01743 361133 Email: nlpgroup@nickgreer.com
www.nickgreer.com
Tel:01905 352 882
England - West
Katie Bickerdike
Avon - Bath
Tel:01903 821 172 Mob: 07903 564 760 Email: katie@sussex.co.uk www.sussex.co.uk/nlp
Philippe Roy Tel: 01225 404 050 Email: pr@in-focus.org www.bathnlp.co.uk
Devon - South-West (totnes) NLP Support Group
Email: sharon@SCRassociates.com info@centralnlp.co.uk www.SCRassociates.com
Warwks - Rugby Ralph Watson Tel: 01788 576 626 Email: ralph@dynamiccommunication.com www.dynamic-communication.co.uk/ home.html
Alice Llewellyn & Anna Scott-Heyward Tel: 01803 866706/01803 323885
Practice Groups meet regularly and give you the chance to share experiences with like minded individuals and fellow professionals. They also offer you the opportunity to further your knowledge and add to your Continual Professional Development (CPD) through informed lectures and workshops. For further information on the Practice Groups listed, please log on to our website, www.anlp.org If you would like to add your Practice Group to this list or change existing details, please contact Lala on 0870 787 1978 or email members@anlp.org.
rapport: Autumn 2006...
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ENDNOTE
Supervision or Super Vision? Gwiztraining CEO Melody Cheal asks whether supervision in NLP should become a standard way of working. Will it better protect the practitioner and the client? n the Autumn 2004 edition of Rapport Dr Susi Strang Wood wrote a guide to Supervision in NLP. Two years on supervision for NLP Practitioners still appears to be far rarer than in other psychological and coaching disciplines, why should that be? To gain greater clarity I decided to poll a number of NLP Practitioners and Master Practitioners. The group I chose consisted of a mix of the newly qualified and those who have been practicing for some years. I posed the following questions: Are you familiar with the term supervision? What is your understanding of what supervision is? Are you currently receiving supervision? If you answered yes to the above question, what type of supervision do you receive and is it NLP related? As a ratio compared to the number of clients you see how often do you seek supervision? How important do you think supervision is for NLP Practitioners and Master Practitioners? Of my sample group 16 per cent of respondents had not heard of supervision. Of those who had, many related it to experiences of supervision in other fields. One respondent voiced a concern: “I do have an aversion to the term supervision as it, for me, conjures up a sort of Social Service model and also feels quite controlling”. Similar concerns were raised by a number of licensed NLP trainers at a recent CPD event. Many of the concerns seemed to be attached to the term “supervision” which seemed to
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have negative anchors for several people. A small group of respondents were receiving some supervision but most of this was informal and ad-hoc. Only one person was receiving regular supervision with any form of structure associated to the practice. What I found uplifting was the importance most of the respondents placed on receiving supervision. There were many similarities and a sense of connectedness coming from their shared need for support, for example: “For me, working on my own, supervision is important. Otherwise I get little time devoted to my skills – particularly practical aspects of coaching/specific things that happen with clients. A valuable opportunity to discuss issues and identify a course of action.” As part of a wider survey, the ANLP included questions about the kind of support and help practitioners are currently using. In answer to a question about what things practitioners would like to see in place to protect both practitioner and clients in “challenging” situations the responses at the time of going to press were: Mentoring, 17; Referral Bank, 12; Supervisor, 18; Supportive Forum, 19; Practice Group, 19; Guidelines, 16. People were able to pick more than one answer to that question. Perhaps the most interesting fact is that 260 people chose not to answer this question at all. One respondent from my sample made a very insightful observation: “I
think another essential element is for the practitioner to have a realistic view of their competence. Practice sessions and using the NLP techniques in non risk areas should provide a performance benchmark for the practitioner so that they can self assess when they need to seek help/supervision”. The referral system is also important for any one working as a Practitioner. The ability to recognise when it is time to refer a client to a more experienced Practitioner or to someone with a speciality is a sign not only of professionalism but also integrity. In Susi’s earlier article she explained the benefits of supervision for practitioners which she grouped under three main headings; educative, supportive and managerial. These headings pick up many of the themes highlighted by respondents to my survey and are very worthwhile. There is also a serious business case to consider for those of you interested in working in organisations. Recent articles in People Management, the preferred magazine of HR professionals, advises it’s readers to ensure that any coaches, executive coaches or mentors include details of their supervision plan in any business proposal. NLP Practitioners need to remember that the place to start is in the client’s map of the world. This is the one the client is familiar and comfortable with Visit: www.gwiztraining.com
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