THE MAGAZINE FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
19 SPRING 2010
Speed Reading or Spd Rdng? Change, ecology & social beliefs
Stop Wrestling with your Problems
S.U.M.O. them
NLP & Politics Where do you see The Value of NLP?
Arielle Essex
NLP and the
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Contents
INSIDE ISSUE 19
Crash - Part 6
9 Professional Development
May I Have Your Attention, Please?
10 NLP
Kris and Tim Hallbom
12 Column
What You Do Isn't You
14 NLP
Meditate to Integrate
17 BASIC NLP
Enjoying Success
18 Lifestyle
Stop Wrestling with your Problems - S.U.M.O. them
20 Education
Speed Reading or Spd Rdng?
22 International
Is it Spicy?
24 Celebrity
Julia Cameron
26 Coaching
28 Health
NLP and the Living Matrix
32 NLP Change, Ecology and
Social Beliefs
36 NLP
NLP and Politics
38 Business
The Business Biddies
40 Research Current Research in
SPRING 2010
28
32
Cover photo by Tim Spiers
4 NLP The Big Question 8 Serial Anatomy of a Plane
Cover Stories
NLP: VOL. 1
42 Training & Workshops
Evolution Training
44 Diary 47 Book Reviews 48 Author Interview
14 40
Mindy Gibbins-Klein 24 Carat Bold
50 ANLP News 52 Regional Groups 54 Endnote
12
18
Verbal Abuse Tricks and Tactics
Performance Coaching for Children & Young People
Welcome to the new, refreshed Spring issue of Rapport. What a brilliant start to 2010! There are some real gems in this issue and certainly some features that have had me sitting up and taking notice. I was lucky enough to meet Kris and Tim Hallbom at the NLP Conference last year and they share their Dynamic Spin Release process with Cait (p10). What a superb philosophy and reframe we have discovered in SUMO (p18). I have started applying the seven simple questions to great effect. David Molden draws our attention to social beliefs (p32) and the impact these can have on us as individuals – something to be even more aware of in the future. Publisher - Karen Moxom
In fact, I am going to be really busy applying all the great tips and techniques offered in this issue – it’s
Editorial Team: Caitlin Collins, Andy Coote, Eve Menezes Cunningham admin@anlp.org, 020 3051 6740 Art Editor: Enzo Zanelli Advertising: Nicola Andrews advertising@anlp.org, 020 3384 3217
a good job I have, at least, learned to read about the more quickly, thanks to Susan Norman and Jan Cisek (p20). I love the way Robbie Steinhouse has integrated his knowledge and understanding of Qigong and NLP and mapped across the underlying principles (p14). And thank you, Cait, for sharing an excellent business model for mutual support, which can be adapted to suit most situations (p38). We will certainly be adopting some of these strategies in the future. And with a General Election on the horizon, Eve’s article on politics is both enlightening and timely (p36). So for now, let’s look forward to some lighter evenings and warmer weather. Until next time
Karen
Membership, subscriptions and back issues: Lala Ali Khan members@anlp.org, 020 3051 6740 Publisher: Karen Moxom vision@anlp.org 020 3051 6740 Company Reg No. 05390486 Phoenix Publishing Ltd Arlingham House, St Albans Rd, South Mimms EN6 3PH
Rapport published by Phoenix Publishing on behalf of ANLP. www.anlp.org Design: Square Eye Design
DISCLAIMER The views within this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, nor does the publisher endorse the products or services promoted in the magazine. Articles are for information only and intent is to inform. Readers should seek professional advice before adopting any suggestions or purchasing any products herein.
THE BIG QUESTION
THE BIG
QUESTION
NLP has been a positive learning for me and helped me to identify and utilise my resources to live through the challenges of life. Since learning Thought Pattern Management in 2009 - some very interesting things have been unfolding in my life. Glenda Yearwood, Glenda.Yearwood@redbridge.gov.uk While living in Dubai in 2007 I studied NLP to Master Practitioner level where I experienced a personal breakthrough, which changed my life. Because of my experience and the belief that I can make a big difference to others, I use NLP/TLT/Hypnotherapy in my Nutritional therapy practice when I see clients with emotional issues relating to food. Alma Griffith, Nutrihealing, alma@nutrihealing.co.uk Back in 2000, I came off methadone after 10yrs. My friend gave me a book, ‘NLP in a week’, which helped me so much. NLP Practitioner for 8yrs, mental health worker, taking hypnosis training. NLP has helped me keep focused, help others around me. I’m very passionate about NLP. Wow! Tim Atyeo timatyeo.129@btinternet.com
4 | Spring 2010 - rapport
Where do you see The Value of NLP? We asked you for your answers to the question ‘Where do you see the value of NLP in your life and work?’ Here are your edited answers.
Since I am in control of my thoughts and therefore my future, the value of NLP is with me all the time. I use it throughout all areas of my life and through my training of NLP courses to others. I hope to pass this value on to everyone else. Ian McGregor, Peak Change Limited, i.mcgregor@peakchange.com
NLP is at the heart of everything I do; whether it’s focusing on my own goals or helping others. With a young family it’s great to have an environment where there’s no failure only feedback. A life without dreams or goals is no life. Jeff Weigh, Rise & Shine, jeff.weigh@virgin.net
Unlike many tools and techniques, NLP spans all areas of your life. It increases your levels of self awareness and even the most basic NLP techniques have a profound effect on you, your life and others around you. Probably the most effective ‘change’ tool ever. Colleen Guy, colleen@hershguy.com
I’m visiting my son in the mental health unit. He’s difficult to engage because his thoughts are disordered .How do I begin to understand and stay present during my visit? Through awareness of NLP presupposition: A map is not the territory it depicts; words are not the things they describe; symbols are not the things they represent…. Lindsey Cree, lindsey@xtraspirit.com
NLP communication model was an AHA moment. Knowing that whatever limiting beliefs or obstacles I perceive are in my way; how I respond to them is what makes the difference. Choice! Margaret Abraham, Life/Communication Coach, m.abraham@scienceofgettingrich.org.uk
NLP philosophy and tools have been instrumental in shaping my life. My personal metamorphosis is now allowing me to share NLP with my friends, family, clients, colleagues, strangers, and teenagers. NLP is the foundation upon which all my trainings, coaching, therapy and mentoring is based. Balbir Chagger, balbir@balbirchagger.com
THE BIG QUESTION
NLP is a total practical and pragmatic approach. The peace of mind is the utmost importance whatever the circumstances. Thanks to everyone contributing in NLP. I’ve got satisfaction through NLP in all the areas of my life. Confidence, health, relations, wealth and happiness are the prime areas of achievement.” Asjad Farooq, Self development counsellor, asjad0088@yahoo.com I’ve come from a place of no formal education and worked hard to establish some form of inner integrity and kudos for myself. NLP has allowed me to gain control of the ‘Inner Game’ and showed me how to be successful without having to have standard styles of stereotyped training. Terry Elston, NLP World, Director, terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk As consequence of significant life changes we may develop a brief or even a prolonged depressive reaction, displayed sometimes in the form of an emotional disturbance and change in conduct. With the use of NLP anybody can regain control of their emotions and therefore preventing mental and physical illness. Dr Emma Allende, Psychiatrist, emmaallende@gmail.com In my own life, less stress, more fun, more direction, more energy. In my work; I see clients getting brilliant results. In my work with schools the flexibility that NLP develops comes in really useful when dealing with kids others have labelled as challenging, and I love teaching Practitioner and watching the lights come on. Andy Duffy, freenlptips@andrewduffy.co.uk
Learning about NLP freed me to shift my business from marketing into executive coaching and book writing starting with ‘NLP for Dummies’. My fourth book ‘Live Life. Love Work,’ will be published in April. Some of the personal benefits of NLP have been amazing work, improved self-confidence, physical well-being, easier family relationships, new international friendships and travel. Really feel that I live my life according to my vision and values rather than waiting for it to happen!’ Kate Burton, Creativity in Communication, kate@kateburton.co.uk NLP thinking is a key to unlock limiting beliefs about our future potential (used at home with kids and with friends) and to moving my Natural Medicine patients on from believing they have a health complaint and will always have it (because the doctor told them so) to believing that once the cause and the symptoms have gone, they can consider themselves free of that illness. Gitti Coats, The Health Detectives in West Wales, gitti@talktalk.net My NLP evolves continuously with me. I’m a perpetual avid learner and everything I learn I reframe it in terms of NLP. It’s a habit. After 10 years of teaching NLP, and thousands of students later, I can honestly say that I’ve never taught exactly the same course twice. I’ll be 50 by March, and I’m still doing cartwheels! Terri Ann Laws, tessthewizard@gmail.com
I use NLP everyday to analyse my own behaviour and reactions, and to better understand the behaviour of those I interact with. As a Master Practitioner of NLP and qualified Coach, I use NLP principles and techniques when coaching Senior Managers in our Organisation, to help them improve their performance. Karen Fleming, Global Learning and Development Manager, Hydratight, Karen.Fleming@hydratight.com NLP changed my life. Some years ago I was searching for a new direction. After some false starts I trained as an NLP Practitioner. Now as an Advanced NLP Therapeutic Specialist I’m thrilled at seeing my clients get their changes, and I apply NLP to my own life every day. Ian Paul Sharp, ian@personalchangemagic.co.uk Working with Health and Fitness clients, NLP allows me to informally introduce new and exciting thinking patterns and behaviours in my participants adding value to their lives and their fitness goals. It adds depth to my communication with them and allows me to reach all ages, genders and ethnic backgrounds. Jennie Lichfield, jen@libertycoaching.info Creating and facilitating a course for group work, entitled “NLP in the Community” at New Beginnings which is a state of the art Drug Rehab Centre in Doncaster, now a part of the ongoing Day Structure Recovery Programme, to help clients to successfully manage their emotions and behaviour. Margaret Abraham, Life/Communication Coach, m.abraham@scienceofgettingrich.org.uk
rapport - Spring 2010
| 5
‘Where do you see the value of NLP in your life and work?’ I discovered the ‘how’ of all my behaviours and that of others - a self awareness, leading to harmonious interactions and productive relationships. Today my avocation is my vocation, helping people believe in themselves, respect the world of others different from themselves and fill their lives and dreams with life! Dr. A. Abraham MD, MindMasters. Kerala, India, mailnebu@gmail.com
Being a student at university my NLP practitioner course has taught me many skills that I can use in group/team work activities, relating with clients on project work and overall during exam time. I have also found benefits from using some skills like “magic circles” with my Rookie Lifesaving class. Claire Ormiston, claireormiston@hotmail.co.uk
These past three years, I have been completing my NLP Doctorate, and developing very powerful writing software which has increased turnover by over 900% for some clients! NLP helped my research create a powerful communication standard for text. The main focus is being positive and inclusive within marketing and communications. Neil Trigger, ntrigger@myointernational.com
NLP is my life and work! I see the education system welcoming pure NLP based solutions more and more, including my Audio Programme Learning solutions - keys to exam success in a box. Also the International Integration of Evolutionary coaching techniques in Business, enabling them to transcend to a higher level of success, creation and fulfilment. Victoria Whitney, Simple Life Solutions, victoria@simplelife-solutions.co.uk
As a trainer of NLP, for me, making a difference is better than having a goal to heal the world and therefore, I see myself as the proverbial Tug Boat helping all those luxury cruise liners stuck in the harbour, to set sail again for more inspirational shores. David Key Head of Training and Research, Auspicium Limited david@auspicium.co.uk
One of my NLP aims is to get skills and techniques used by young people. My grandson Leon (6 years old) starts the beginning of our Practitioner Course in Inverness this year and edited highlights after that. He is the 4th generation in our family to learn to use NLP and is already working successfully using Magical Spelling to complete the skills he is taught at school. Rosie O'Hara, Director NLP Highland, rosie@nlphighland.co.uk NLP has overt and covert value and influence on my life and work. I use it overtly day in day out with my clients with regards to the attitudes and techniques we discuss and benefit from. Also it has seeped into my belief system and enables me to deal with my life and the world we live in with flexibility, resourcefulness and ease. I’d be a different person without it!’’ Piers Thurston, Feel Happy Now, piers@feelhappynow.co.uk
I hope that you have enjoyed and found information and inspiration from these responses. Thanks to everyone who responded to this Big Question. There will be another Big Question for the Summer issue. For that issue we will be asking you to share your greatest learning from applying NLP in just 50 words. We will remind you of this through Facebook (anlp page), Twitter (@AndyRapport) and the ANLP email list. Selected and edited by Andy Coote (editorial@anlp.org). 6 | Spring 2010 - rapport
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SERIAL
Anatomy of a Plane Crash Part 6 By Neil Almond
T
here is a great passage in Dawn French’s book Dear Fatty in which she describes her relationship with flying: “Flying, to me, is utterly exhausting, for the simple reason that it is my duty (on behalf of all the passengers, I hasten to add) to keep the plane in the air by sheer force of my mind... if I lose concentration for even a minute, the massive metal crate will surely plummet earthwards and hundreds of tragic deaths would be on my conscience.” A couple of years ago I would have just read this, and her subsequent comments about what would most likely happen to her conscience on impact, as yet more evidence of Dawn’s undeniable comedy genius, but after falling out of the sky myself and ditching into the ocean (as described in previous editions of Rapport) I can now identify fully with the sentiment as well. Researchers estimate that up to 40% of the UK population suffer from some form of fear of flying. If that figure is anywhere near accurate then that would mean that there are up to 24 million people out there who find flying less than pleasurable. As an NLP practitioner that figure saddens me (or at least the non-commercial part of me) as my experiences since the crash have shown that NLP can play a significant role in collapsing fear of flying. Fear of flying obviously takes many different forms. Some, like mine, are formed as a direct result of a traumatic flight experience. Of course this doesn’t need to be a crash, a particularly uncomfortable bout of turbulence, an aborted landing, sudden drops in altitude or any other in-flight drama will do just fine. Other fears come about as a result of anchoring negative emotions to a flight situation; so for example someone who had just had a fight with a loved one or received some bad news might then board a plane and unconsciously link the negative emotions he or she was feeling to flying. In so doing an anchor is formed that fires each time they board the plane. Fears can also be inherited from a loved one or adopted unconsciously following media coverage of air crashes or airplane disaster movies. Still others are part of a wider system such as in those clients who also suffer from anxiety, claustrophobia or
“
Conventional wisdom states that flying is one of the safest forms of transport
”
emetophobia (fear of vomiting). Conventional wisdom states that flying is one of the safest forms of transport. However even in the face of strong evidence, most fearful flyers will mismatch with this statement – at least on an unconscious level. It is the ability to communicate with this unconscious part that I believe gives NLP Practitioners the edge in working around fear of flying. I found it very useful to imagine that the fearful part was a small child, a younger version of me, and to communicate directly to that part beaming to them the resources and knowledge that could help to make them feel safe. One of the exercises that many of the people I’ve worked with have found valuable is a game to separate large Boeing and Airbus planes from the rest of the pack, reinforcing just how strong and resilient commercial airliners are, and emphasising the duplicate and triplicate systems that they have in place for all critical functions. Did you know for instance that at cruising altitude, even if they lost all engine power (which would never happen) that one of those huge metal birds could glide for approximately 30 minutes – more than enough time in most parts of the world to find an airport and land safely. I have also found it useful to talk both the adult and child through all the bumps,
beeps, cracks, changes in pressure, smells and sights that can, in so many people, fire anchors or begin a process of catastrophization. Mental Rehearsal works perfectly for this. A couple of the common trips for people include the moment the plane switches from land to onboard power just before taxiing; the point shortly after takeoff when the captain eases back on the throttle (because more power is needed for takeoff than cruising) leaving the plane seemingly hanging in the air and the bings and bongs the crew use to communicate which for fearful flyers often signal impending doom. Adding positive anchors can of course be useful – ‘as you notice the stewardesses leaving their seats to commence their preparations for service, allow yourself to feel even more confident and secure, knowing that everything is in perfect order and that this is going to be a wonderful flight...’ I also throw in a few techniques for handling turbulence or any moments where fear does rise – submodality shifts (I used to imagine a playful kitten on my lap and purring in my ear), mapping across (close your eyes and imagine you’re on a train – see someone trying to navigate their way back from the buffet car without spilling their drink etc), or anything else in the arsenal. It is normally only at this point that I start to bring in some of the big gun techniques of NLP – parts integration, timeline, reimprinting, anchoring, phobia cures etc. My experience shows that these have more impact once sufficient heat has been taken out of the fear and enough leverage has been created. As we said before, every fear is different but with behavioural flexibility, sensory acuity and, of course, a good dollop of compassion I believe NLP can play a key role in transforming a fear of flying into a feeling of freedom, relaxation and choice. Or in my case from terror back to a love of flying.
I hope the Anatomy of a Plane Crash has proved useful or at least interesting. This sixth part brings us to the end of the series and I do thank you for your company over the past 18 months. If I can be of any support to you, or through you to your clients, then please don’t hesitate to get in touch at neil@neilalmond.com
8 | Spring 2010 - rapport
PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
May I Have Your Attention,
Please?
A
ll human beings have a basic need for attention. We are hard-wired to want others to listen to us and care about us. We need it in our business lives as much as in our personal lives; in fact, it is only by customers or clients paying attention to us that we have any business. And from experience, I can only see one main way of attracting attention to ourselves: communication with others. Communication for business is often expressed as direct: writing and publishing books, articles, blogs and papers; putting content onto the web for clients to read, see and hear; and speaking to individuals, small groups or even large groups. Increasingly I am seeing savvy marketing colleagues include indirect communications in the mix: word-of mouth, public relations, and branding which is essential for the former two. It may help to consider your clients’ attention as a commodity, much in the same way their time and money are a commodity. By definition, this means that people have a limited amount of attention that they are willing or able to give, and this needs to be shared amongst all of the people competing for it. Just think about your Inbox for a second. Does it fill up with unwanted emails, newsletters and other demands on your attention as well as your time? Of course it does, and it is the same for your clients. My friend and progressive thinker Ron Wopereis has proposed a kind of ‘attention bank’ where you pay in and make withdrawals of attention when you need to. If someone has spent their time and attention with you, you will be more likely to spend time and attention listening to them when they need it. And vice versa. You get the idea.
By Mindy Gibbins-Klein
It may help to consider your clients’ attention as a commodity Let’s assume for a moment that people are not paying the right amount of attention to you and your business. You have several choices. Firstly, you can shout louder. This is the knee-jerk reaction that most business owners make. They begin to bombard their market with more articles, more newsletters and emails. They put more and more emphatic and dramatic wording into those communication tools and chuck them at the market at an accelerated rate. The problem with just doing more is that you are adding to the information overload which is already a problem for your clients. So approach number two is to be cleverer.
I’m sure you can think of some television adverts which really broke the mould and got your attention. But can you name the brand from every advert? Not many people can, and that is because the message is not always relevant to us at that time. So there has got to be more to your communication than quantity, drama and pizzazz. The answer, I believe, has to do with your commitment to real engagement. I wrote about engagement in the last issue, and I am convinced that it is the key to real connection with your clients and hence more business. You want to consider writing and speaking in a more intimate way, and share more of yourself in every communication. And yes, we’re still talking business! Apparently only eight percent of all Twitter posts get ‘retweeted’ or forwarded to others. It confirms my point that attention is by nature limited and people have become picky about where they spend it. I have been using Twitter for about a year now and generally I get a few retweets from my posts. Two posts, however, were retweeted about ten times more than the others. When I looked at the titles and the content, both were much more engaging than my average ones. Maybe I should have just sent those and not all the others. Isn’t hindsight great? In the end of the day, though, there may be people with whom you wish to engage, but they still don’t want to pay attention. In those cases, instead of banging your head against the wall, I would advise you to consider turning your attention to those people who are receptive, and the attention bank could make you wealthy.
Mindy Gibbins-Klein is the UK’s leading writing and publishing strategist, best known as founder of The Book Midwife and co-founder/director of Ecademy Press business publishing. Her mission is to create thousands of real thought leaders who will change business and society with their ideas. An international speaker, trainer and consultant with 20 years in marketing, training and coaching, and over 300 clients who have written and published excellent books and articles quickly using the Book Midwife methodology, Mindy writes and speaks to thousands of executives, business leaders and entrepreneurs each year about how to become a thought leader and turning expertise into enhanced credibility and more business.
rapport - Spring 2010
| 9
NLP INTERVIEW
Kris and Tim Hallbom Put a Positive Spin on your Problems By Caitlin Collins
There’s a shift from a more mechanical approach in NLP toward a more spiritual one
S
ince one of my favourite NLP presuppositions is the one about how we already have all the inner resources we need, it’s no surprise that my favourite NLP methods are those that illustrate this principle particularly well. A simple parts reframe to resolve a problem often reveals hidden treasures, while a Core Transformation session can open a goldmine within, not only releasing the presenting problem but shifting perceptions and deep beliefs to enable profound life changes. Now NLP trainers, authors and innovators Kris and Tim Hallbom have come up with another way of unwrapping the gift concealed in a problem. Doing my homework for this interview, I’ve been practising their method of Dynamic Spin Release and in the process adding it to my list of favourites. Blending the universal principle of spinning and the psychology of archetypal metaphors with NLP, the Dynamic Spin Release includes many varied methods that can be applied to almost any problem state, limiting thought pattern or physical issue. Based near San Francisco, Kris and Tim are among the pioneers of NLP, having trained with NLP’s co-developers Bandler and Grinder in the 1980s and worked with Robert Dilts and Steve and Connirae Andreas. When I call Kris for our interview, it’s a grey afternoon here on Exmoor, a few spots of rain rattling against the window; by contrast, I hear, the San Francisco Bay Area is – yes – sunny and warm… Kris’s morning is starting brightly, and her voice over the phone matches the California weather. NLP and other disciplines Like so many other NLP methods, although the Dynamic Spin Release can work as a simple problem-solving technique, it has a much wider application. So it makes sense for our discussion to begin with the interaction of NLP with other disciplines, such as the fields of psychology and spirituality.
10 | Spring 2010 - rapport
‘I guess it was in the early 90s that I started seeing a shift from a more mechanical approach in NLP towards a more spiritual one,’ says Kris. ‘Robert Dilts included spiritual elements early on in his Neurological Levels work, of course. Then Tim and his colleagues were among the first people to use NLP modelling skills to learn from shamans, and shamanic elements spread out into the NLP world. NLP has gone in many directions since then, and to some degree the concepts and terminology are being absorbed into the mainstream; for example ‘reframing’ comes up in ordinary conversation now. ‘In a way, there’s a risk of NLP becoming increasingly marginalized as the trend nowadays is towards mixing things together, and different disciplines are losing their separate identities. For us, our roots are in NLP, so we always reference what we’re doing in terms of NLP. Our mission is to get it out in the world and teach people about human patterning and deep structure, and make a positive difference in people’s lives.’ Healing a headache In true NLP style, the Dynamic Spin Release technique came about through practical experiment. ‘We stumbled on it one day, when I had a headache,’ Kris recalls. ‘When I asked Tim to help, he mimicked the motion of pulling the headache out of my head and asked me to imagine the pain as a three-dimensional image and to describe the submodalities of what it looked like. Well, it looked to me like a reddish-pinkish brain; then I noticed that it was moving, rotating clockwise. And Tim sort of twirled his fingers and suggested I should
NLP INTERVIEW
Spinning our problems away goes back a long time spin the image counter-clockwise. So I did, and not only did the image disappear, so did the headache! So we both got interested in what was going on, and started doing the process with our clients, working with all sorts of issues, not just physical pains.’ Discovering gifts Along the way, Kris and Tim have refined and improved the process. They discovered that some clients were reporting images of gifts or treasures appearing in place of the old image. ‘We were asking clients to spin their image faster and faster until it would just explode and dissolve into space,’ explains Kris. ‘And then we found that some kind of “gift” would appear in the space, something meaningful for the client that they could bring back into their body with a profoundly healing effect. So now we ask people to look for these metaphorical gifts as an intrinsic part of the process.’ What are these gifts and where do they come from? In NLP terms they might be understood as coming from the unconscious mind of the client, but Kris is able to add to this from her background in Jungian psychology; she sees them as metaphorical archetypes. ‘Carl Jung put forward the idea of a collective unconscious to which all humans have access,’ she explains. ‘He described this collective unconscious as a vast reservoir of images formed throughout the development of humankind. Although these archetypal images are common to humanity, the significance of a particular archetype to the individual person is specific: the archetype often appears as a symbol or metaphor – maybe a diamond, a star, or a rose – which is exactly what you need at that moment in your life. Tuning in to the collective unconscious and gaining access to the archetypes that are relevant to you can transform your life, and the Dynamic Spin Release process is one way of doing that.’ The Hallboms have been enthusiastically sharing their Dynamic Spin Release with clients and with other coaches and therapists, with some spectacular results. ‘People love it,’ says Kris; ‘they find it easy and quick.’ There have been good results across a wide range of issues from gambling and addictions through business problems, psychological and emotional issues, as well as physical illnesses. Spin is everywhere All this talk about spinning brings to mind just how ubiquitous
the spiral and circular motion are in our lives and in nature. ‘Spin is everywhere,’ agrees Kris. ‘Our planet is spinning on its axis while simultaneously revolving around the sun. The sun is moving through our star cluster, which is riding on the outer arm of the galaxy, which is itself spinning through the universe; while, at the other extreme, there is spin in the tiny particles of atomic physics. And in our own homes water spirals down a drain, our dogs circle to lie down, we twirl our hands and fingers as we talk – and we talk about how our lives are in a spin, we need to unwind, and we want to turn things around!’ In fact, says Kris, ‘The idea of spinning our problems away goes back a long time. Sufi dancing – the marvellous trance-dance ritual of the Whirling Dervishes – goes back at least to the 12th century. The dancer twirls and spins in a precise rhythm, representing the earth revolving on its axis while orbiting the sun, and by dancing becomes emptied of all negative thought and enters a spiritual ecstasy. The word “dervish” literally means “one who opens the doors”, and throughout history the dervishes have been associated with wisdom, medicine, poetry, and spiritual enlightenment; the poems of the great poet Rumi were said to have been inspired by his practice of Sufi dancing. And in our own time, Richard Bandler has been spinning negative feelings into positive ones for several years.’ I’m struck by the sense of abundance and generosity that is coming across in our conversation. Not only is this evident in terms of what happens in the Dynamic Spinning process itself – the opportunities underlying problems, treasure in the gaps, magic of the mind; but also in Kris and Tim’s enthusiasm and willingness to share. ‘Giving and sharing are among our core values,’ Kris agrees. ‘It’s about bringing integrity to what you do and how you treat people. Then everything works out, and you can go to sleep at night and feel good about what you’ve done that day.’ I think karma comes into it too: if your mission is to make a positive difference in people’s lives, and you’re true to your mission, then your genuine spirit of giving will bring gifts into your life!
Discovering the Gift: a Dynamic Spin Release Process Identify your problem: a physical pain, or limiting belief, or unwanted thought or emotion. Notice the physical sensations and / or visual images associated with the problem. Imagine removing the problem and placing it outside you, so you can see it floating in front of you in the form of an image or symbol. Determine which way it’s spinning: is it clockwise or anticlockwise? If it seems motionless, which way would it turn if it were spinning?
Reverse the direction of spin, and spin it faster and faster in the new direction, until the image explodes and disappears – and a new, healing image or gift appears in the space in front of you. Identify the positive message from the gift. How is it meaningful for you? Bring the gift back into your body, and notice all your new feelings and understandings. Now look out into your future and see how your gift will positively influence your life.
For more information about Kris and Tim Hallbom see www.nlpca.com
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COLUMN
The Presuppositions of NLP What you do isn’t you! By Caitlin Collins
It means recognising that things are more complicated than they seem
The NLP presuppositions can help us transcend limiting beliefs about ourselves and our world. You don’t have to believe any presupposition; just consider the implications of acting ‘as if’ you believed it and imagine the differences doing so could make to your life.
H
ow we speak has an enormous influence on how we think. Speech is often imprecise, whether for brevity or out of laziness. I suspect that most of us sometimes find ourselves saying things like: ‘She’s so awful; she’s rude and horrible and I can’t stand her.’ When we notice what we’re doing we may correct it: ‘No, I don’t really mean that. It’s her behaviour I dislike, not her.’ This distinction is thought so important in the NLP world that it features high on the lists of presuppositions, usually worded along the lines of, ‘A person is not his or her behaviour.’ Let’s look at why it’s so important to
make this distinction, not only in our speech but also in our thought. If ‘she’ is a rude person, then this implies that she is always rude; there is no occasion on which she is not rude; and the possibility of her being anything other than rude is closed. It also isolates her, ignoring the fact that rudeness can only be significant in the context of relationship, which removes the responsibility – and therefore power – of anyone else in the interaction. If someone is rude to me, and I think of her as a rude person, there’s nothing I can do about it; but in denying my responsibility I also disempower myself.
Caitlin Collins: www.naturalmindmagic.com cait@globalnet.co.uk
12 | Spring 2010 - rapport
This also applies when we apply the same sort of sloppy thinking to ourselves. We evoke guilt when we identify with our own bad behaviour – ‘I’m a bad person’ – and complacency or arrogance when we identify with our virtuous actions or achievements – ‘Aren’t I marvellous!’ Both mistaken views are potentially damaging, leading to what NLP terms ‘limiting beliefs’ about ourselves. An infinitely complex network of causes and conditions, including what NLP calls the ‘deep structure’ of our conditioning, beliefs, values, habits, experience and learnings, underlies our actions.
Understanding this doesn’t mean negating personal responsibility; it means recognising that things are more complicated than they seem, and that blame is not the best response. So we need to remember that any action involves interaction, and at every moment we have the opportunity to ‘do something different’ and change the course of events. And if remembering this helps us to be more compassionate and forgiving towards ourselves and others, well, wouldn’t that be nice!
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NLP
Meditate to
Integrate By Robbie Steinhouse
I
n this piece, I want to look at meditation, consider the general question of whether it has a role in the teaching and application of NLP, then present a specific exercise which combines traditional Chinese meditation with modern NLP.
Meditation brings several key benefits to the NLP student, coach or trainer
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There are many kinds of meditation. The best known type involves concentrating one’s attention on a repeated sound. This is a powerful and proven technique, but for my taste concentrates too much on the Auditory: traditional Chinese meditation works with
all rep systems. The kind I shall discuss forms a part of the broader physical and spiritual discipline called Qigong (pronounced Cheegong), which is closely related to Tai Chi. I should say a little about my own experience before setting out. I was a student of meditation before I studied NLP, so have long been interested in the interaction between the two disciplines. I now teach NLP, and make meditation an important part of my teaching. Why? Meditation and NLP Meditation brings several key benefits to the NLP student, coach or trainer. I start each day of my training with a meditation, and students find this gets their minds into a state of readiness to learn. This is partially an exercise in anchoring; they come to associate the meditative state with subsequent learning. It also acts as an anchor for me, to get me into ‘teaching mode’. I could use other anchors, however – why this one? Meditation is a great way of clearing the mind. In a meditative state, one is able to notice thoughts and feelings arising from inside oneself, but not be bound to connect to them or follow their promptings: the meditator becomes an observer of him- or herself. This seems to be an excellent state in which to learn: put away preconceptions and simply be curious! I am also a coach, and before coaching, I use meditation as a way of stilling my mind, so I can concentrate on the client. Meditation is, of course, a state: the various techniques (counting the breath, visualisations, mantras and so on) are simply anchors that bring about that state. Experienced meditators can access the state directly, without using the techniques: this skill enables the practitioner to rapidly enter a useful NLP state, of being open and available for clients. Finally I simply want my students to have the benefits of meditation. We live in a stressful world, and studies have shown the value of countering the effects of
NLP
Put away preconceptions and simply be curious! this by using meditation. One of the key presuppositions of NLP is that the body and mind are one system, and meditation is an excellent way of putting that presupposition to work for us. The Qigong approach… The term Qigong is of quite recent origin, but the practices date back many thousands of years. At the heart of it is the notion of Qi, or vital energy, which flows round the body, more or less freely – the aim of Qigong is to ease the flow to promote physical and spiritual health. From an NLP perspective, one does not have to accept the concept of Qi. However, I personally find it useful, and would also point out that the presupposition “energy follows intention (or attention)” supports the concept. But in the end, NLP is essentially about ‘what works’, and Qigong should be judged against this criterion. Another central concept in Qigong is that of the Dan Tien (or Dantian) or Centre of Power. We have three of these. The most powerful one is situated three finger widths below the navel and two finger widths inside the body, in the abdomen. This is the seat of life force, and the ‘centre of energetic gravity’ (and almost of physical gravity) in the body. Anyone who has practiced martial arts or Tai Chi will be aware of the attention paid to this part of the body. The next Dan Tien is the heart. This is the seat of emotional energy. The third Dan Tien is in the middle of the forehead, and is the seat of intelligence of all kinds: not just ratiocination but intuition.
is the concept of the ‘shadow’; the over- or under-representation of each energy in the psyche. For example, people with too much strength can become savage; people with too much softness can be flooded by emotion; and people with too much humour / intellect can either become manipulative or fundamentalists. On the deficit side, people with too little strength can become victims; with too little softness, excessively stoical; and with too little humour / intelligence, dim-witted. Readers familiar with New Code NLP will also spot the similarity with the three perceptual positions used in Robert Dilts’ Meta Mirror, with the assertive power of first position linking to the abdomen,
the empathetic power of second position linking to the heart and the objectivity of third position linking to the head. Breathing itself maps (almost) neatly onto these three energy centres. We have three ways of breathing, abdominal, intercostal and clavicular. Abdominal is the most powerful, and comes from the first Dan Tien. Intercostal
…and other models Other ‘triune’ models map elegantly onto the Dan Tiens. The first is the three archetypal energies of strength, softness and humour. The link is quite easy to make: strength is a quality of the first, abdominal Dan Tien, softness a quality of the heart, and humour (and more generally, the capacity for perspective and objectivity) a quality of the upper Dan Tien. A refinement on this model
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NLP
breathing, using the muscles around the rib-cage, comes next, and is anatomically linked to the heart Dan Tien. The third Dan Tien… Okay, we don’t do a huge amount of breathing with our forehead, so the mapping isn’t perfect, but clavicular or ‘upper-body’ breathing is often associated with people who are ‘too much in their head’ and disconnected from their deeper physicality, so there is a meaningful link. The great thing about the above links is that they enable us to create an exercise that combines quite abstract NLP concepts such as the Meta Mirror with the three archetypal energies, a more emotionally charged model, and with the physicality and spirituality of Qigong breathing – a powerful mixture. Let me take you through it… An NLP Qigong meditation Breathe deeply into and out from your abdomen. Be aware of the power that emanates from this place, and think of a time when you were strong. When you have that clearly in your mind, notice what you feel and where you feel it, and what sounds and visual images accompany it. Now, look inside yourself for the two shadows, times when you have been overaggressive and times when you have been a victim. As with your memory of strength, locate the VAK concomitants of these shadow states. At this point, it is important not to judge the states, but just ‘hold’ and accept them, maybe with a touch of curiosity. Having visited both states, too much and too little of the energy, use your abdominal breathing to reconnect with your natural, balanced state of strength – and notice the difference between this and the state that accompanied your two shadows. Next, repeat the same formula for the intercostal breathing. This time, think of a time when you were gentle and emotional – in the best sense of the word: feeling strong, empowering love. Notice what you feel and where you feel it, plus sounds and images, then visit the two shadows, of overemotionality and coldness, before returning to your original point of healthy, energized emotion. Next, do the same for the third Dan Tien, breathing with your upper body, connecting
Meditation is a great way of clearing the mind
with your humour and intelligence and describing this connection in VAK terms, then visiting the shadows before returning to your original connection. The three archetypes, and the three Dan Tiens, need to work in harmony, so the next part of the exercise is to integrate them. Keep breathing deeply and imagine your Qi – or however you visualize your life energy – flowing round you. Imagine it entering with your breath, flowing on through the second Dan Tien down to the first one, deep in your abdomen. Then imagining the energy moving on, up through your spine into your head then out as you exhale. ‘Visual’ people find it helpful to have an image of this – some kind of white mist is a popular one, or flowing liquid: whatever you need. Qigong talks of five qualities of breath, and as you do this part of the exercise, it can help to bring these to mind. The qualities are ‘long, deep, even, slow and fine’ (fine as opposed to coarse). As you feel yourself breathing in and out and as you visualize the energy flowing round you, try saying: “The breath is long. The breath is deep. The breath is even. The breath is slow. The breath is fine.” This creates a complete VAK experience. The outcome of this
Robert Steinhouse is head of training at NLP School www.nlpschool.com
16 | Spring 2010 - rapport
exercise should be a greatly improved ability to calibrate our own inner states, and a better balance between those three archetypes (Judith de Lozier once said that “When something is wrong in my life, I know that one of these three energies is out of balance.”) If the proponents of Qigong are right, it could also bring health benefits through a better flow of energy through our system. What I particularly like about this exercise is that it is an example of NLP at its best. It uses NLP as a springboard to reach out to other cultures and traditions, and to take and use ideas from them, not in the spirit of an intellectual land-grab but as part of humanity’s bigger journey towards self-knowledge. It does not tie us into any philosophical systems: we can take or leave the concept of Qi, and just do the exercise and be curious about how it affects us. And, I believe very strongly, it works – practicing it makes you more grounded, more balanced, more clear-headed, more eager to live and learn. That surely is what NLP is all about.
BASIC NLP
INTRODUCING NLP
Outcomes 7: Enjoying Success
U
nder the theme of setting outcomes, this series is exploring some of the basic concepts and techniques of NLP. It’s interesting that although NLP doesn’t ‘do’ failure (‘there’s no such thing as failure, only feedback’ is a favourite slogan) it’s big on success. If you think about it, this might seem a bit paradoxical. Let’s investigate it further. What do you think of when you think of success? Take a moment to consider this – first generally, then in a specific context that’s meaningful for you. Some success criteria may be quantifiable, as in how much money you earn; achievement-oriented, as in observable accomplishments; and externally referenced, as in material success that others can see and admire – the house, the spouse and the lifestyle. Other criteria may be more concerned with quality than quantity, as well as more internally referenced and not necessarily observable by others – such as your own experience of happiness, enjoyment, or fulfilment. As we’ve seen in this series, knowing what you want is fundamental to setting outcomes. If you don’t know what you want, you won’t know when you’ve got it, nor will you be likely to make the decisions and take the steps to bring it about. Now, here’s the clever bit: this may be simpler than it sounds. Pick a context, perhaps a specific area in your life, or maybe your life as a whole. Regarding this context, ask yourself: What do I want? Let an answer come up; don’t worry about whether it’s the ultimate answer to end all answers, just work with whatever surfaces. Ask yourself: And what will that bring me? Again, accept whatever answer comes up. Ask again, about the new answer: And what will that bring me? Whatever comes up is fine. Go on asking the question: What will that bring me? Each answer you get is the right one for you at this moment and is what you work with. Keep asking and answering until the answer arises non-verbally, as an
experience that feels right for you. You will find yourself experiencing some variation of happiness or fulfilment, right now in the present moment. You can stop now: that’s what you want!
There’s no such thing as failure, only feedback
So, if that’s what you want, wouldn’t it make sense to be creating that experience and the causes and conditions for it, right now? This doesn’t mean sacrificing measurable achievement. Most of us are encouraged to be task oriented – it starts before school, with tying our shoelaces, and goes on through reading and writing to passing exams, and out into the big wide world of work and competition. But NLP enthusiasts know that if you take care of how you are, then what you do becomes easier; in NLP terms, if you can take care of your state, the task can often take care of itself. There’s one more major factor that might obstruct our experience of success. Haven’t we been encouraged to look to the future, to strive for the next thing? The problem is that if we keep moving the goal posts so they’re always in front of us, we don’t appreciate where we are now. We’re like a donkey trotting after a carrot dangling on a string in front of his nose. But watch what the wise donkey does. The wise donkey stops, the string swings back and the carrot pops right into his mouth! It’s sweet and crunchy and absolutely delicious! And enjoying the carrot doesn’t prevent the donkey from moving; on the contrary, it nourishes him so he can keep up his strength. So here are some final questions for you to ask yourself. How has the concept of success changed for you? And what’s different now about your goals, and how you’re fulfilling them?
Caitlin Collins: www.naturalmindmagic.com cait@globalnet.co.uk
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LIFESTYLE
Stop Wrestling with your Problems
S.U.M.O. them
Paul McGee is known as the S.U.M.O. man and his deceptively simple philosophy provides powerful tools for dealing with life’s problems. As he told Andy Coote, sometimes you just need to ‘shut up and move on’.
I
n Paul McGee’s world, SUMO is not Japanese wrestling. It stands for the phrase Shut Up, Move On which we can “say to ourselves (and sometimes others) when we are acting or thinking in a way that is hindering our ability to succeed.” When I spoke to Paul, known as the S.U.M.O. Guy, we talked about his approach to, and long history in, personal development. When he talks about overcoming issues that are holding you back, he speaks from personal experience. For Paul, S.U.M.O. long since moved from being “a bit of a catchphrase” into a life philosophy. All of the six Principles (see Box 1) are intended to create the question “what do you mean by that?” “People remember the strong visual metaphors and the word play. People find the 7 questions (see Box 2) so useful, I give them out on postcards.” Paul accepts that Shut Up, Move On can be seen as aggressive “but it really doesn’t mean ‘get over it’ or ‘pull yourself together’ although there may be occasions when both responses are necessary. S.U.M.O. is meant to be a challenging, thought provoking and memorable message that reminds you to press pause and remember that you can choose how you react.” Paul is “a child of the sixties” and grew up in Sale in Cheshire. He took a vocational degree leading to a qualification as a probation officer or social worker. The course included behavioural and social psychology and work experience as a trainee probation officer and with terminal cancer patients. On graduation, Paul decided that he didn’t want to pursue a career as a probation officer. Instead, he ran a job club in Bradford for a year before joining Unilever as a graduate management trainee in human resources. It should have been a good move. “I was flying high and then my world came tumbling down. I was diagnosed with ME at a time
18 | Spring 2010 - rapport
I need an abundance mentality but with a business head as well when 8 out of 10 doctors still didn’t believe it was a real illness. The press helpfully called it ‘yuppie flu’. Going from a well-paid job with prospects on to £35 per week Invalidity Benefit was tough both physically and psychologically, so for me it was very real. Nothing quite prepares you for that traumatic shift in your life.” It was challenging in many ways. “Having nothing else to do but eat, I gained weight and people would say ‘you look well’, meaning ‘you look fat’. My own doctor told
me ‘we need to check out your mental health’ and I was sent to see a psychiatrist in Liverpool. I was fortunate to have family and friends to support me.” Whilst going through the illness, Paul began to get into personal development. “I was lent a set of tapes by Richard Denny, a sales guru. I remember he said something like ‘within every adversity there is a seed of equal or greater opportunity’. I was going through some real crap but I began to believe that something good could come from this.” His illness shaped Paul’s thinking about the future course of his life. “Trying to get a job was a challenge as my health would fluctuate from day to day, so I started thinking about self-employment. That way, I could work when I was well and take time to recover when not - and I didn’t have to lie at a medical.” After 15 months he came off invalidity benefit and began working for the Dale Carnegie Training organisation as a selfemployed consultant. “By then I was an evangelist for personal development. I was responsible for promoting and selling their premium training products. It was hard work but I got free training and some great personal development from it. I earned very little but, having been on invalidity benefit, I had low expectations of income.” From 1992, Paul worked in outplacement with former British Coal employees. As well as standard material on CV development, interview techniques and job search, “I was able to try out material that I was learning from the likes of Jim Rohn, Anthony Robbins and Zig Ziglar with people who really needed and benefited from it. It was a tremendous time and I felt I was helping both practically and psychologically. I moved on to Careertrack, where I had to hold an audience from 9am to 4pm as the seminar presenter. There I learnt how to develop and present
LIFESTYLE
S.U.M.O. Principles Change Your T-Shirt. Remove the Victim T-shirt and take responsibility for your own life. Develop Fruity Thinking. Thinking affects Emotions, which in turn affect Actions, which always leads to Results. When you change your thinking, you ultimately change your results. Hippo Time is OK. Understand how setbacks affect you and how to recover from them. We all need time to wallow a little….. just be careful how long it lasts.
Remember the Beachball. What colours you see of a huge beachball depends on your perspective. Increase your understanding and awareness of other people’s worlds. This will help to bring about more successful relationships. Learn Latin. Carpé Diem = seize the day. Change comes through action not intention. Ditch Doris Day. Forget the attitude ‘que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be’. Create your own future rather than leave it to chance.
The seven simple questions to help you S.U.M.O. in any situation
good material.” By 2002, Paul was talking about some of the S.U.M.O. ideas but didn’t have the concept or a brand for them.”I was delivering a coaching and counselling skills course and talking about approaches to helping people deal with issues when one delegate said, ‘if all else fails you can tell them to S.U.M.O.’. I’d never heard that before but it soon became a bit of a catchphrase. I was already talking about ‘faulty and fruity thinking’ and began to develop the seven questions. I also began talking about changing your T-Shirt and listening to our inner coach instead of the inner critic.” “The idea of S.U.M.O. was working for people. Someone said ‘you should write a book about it’. I thought about it and, despite my doubts, began to see how, like a chef, I could take the ingredients I had and turn them into my ‘signature dish’” “I had most of the principles but something was missing. People challenged me that I was being a bit too glib and that sometimes people can’t move on straight away. A friend had just lost a Rugby League match and was talking about how his wife was trying to get him to cheer up but ‘sometimes you just need to have a good wallow’. I said to him, ‘Steve it’s hippo time’ and I knew I had the principle I needed. I give people permission to move into Hippo Time and then, when they are ready to move on, they can do so.” When the book was looking as if it might be too short, his publisher suggested that Paul needed to think about the architecture. Books S.U.M.O. (Shut Up, Move On): The Straight-Talking Guide to Creating and Enjoying a Brilliant Life (Capstone 2006) (ISBN: 978-1841127118) Paperback: 212 pages £7.99
1. Where is this issue on a scale of one to 10?
5. What can I learn from this?
2. How important will this be in six months time?
6. What will I do differently next time?
3. Is my response appropriate and effective?
7. What can I find that is positive in this situation?
4. How can I influence or improve the situation? S.U.M.O. for schools In the age group 5 - 11 years and for reception classes, Paul has worked with a primary school teacher to develop and road test the program. Nine schools piloted aspects and helped the program to develop and ripples are beginning to happen. This approach is part of SEAL (Social, Emotional Aspects of Learning). “It is a mixture of DVDs and games all weaved into the curriculum” Paul tells me, “The kids love it and I am staggered by how it is working”.
“He meant, ‘Paul you need one or two more principles’. I chose to talk about goal setting and that became ‘no more Que Sera, Sera you need to Ditch Doris Day’. Despite the use of metaphor and the reframing inherent in S.U.M.O., Paul didn’t consciously base S.U.M.O. on NLP principles. “I’ve never done an NLP practitioner course but it is difficult to work in the world of personal development for so long and not come into contact with NLP concepts on a regular basis.” Paul is currently developing the S.U.M.O. Academy to allow others access to the material. Companies where S.U.M.O. has been used successfully in training, can license the material for wider use in the company. Paul is also developing an associate programme for other trainers. “I’m not intending to create direct competition; they have to be offering training in a related area where S.U.M.O. would add value. In order to protect the brand, I’ve decided that I need an abundance
S.U.M.O. Your Relationships: How to Handle Not Strangle the People You Live and Work With (Capstone 2007) (ISBN: 978-1841127439) Paperback: 278 pages £12.99
Self-confidence: The Remarkable Truth of Why a Small Change Can Make a Big Difference (Capstone Dec 2009) (ISBN-13: 978-1906465827) Paperback: 248 pages
In secondary schools, there is a different approach with different material. It is part of the PSHE (Personal, Social and Health Education) element of the curriculum and also ‘Every Child Matters’ helping to achieve inclusion and to teach citizenship. “We are training teachers to use the material and training associate coaches to work with the kids, running sessions and assemblies on subjects like managing stress and revision days.”
Within every adversity there is a seed of equal or greater opportunity mentality but with a business head as well.” S.U.M.O. continues to develop. Paul is developing S.U.M.O. for schools (see Box 3), has an ongoing relationship with Africa through a friend and S.U.M.O. is extending internationally. “The principles behind S.U.M.O. seem to apply across cultures and age groups and so far have been relevant in every country on the planet where it has been tried out. The idea of ‘broken records’ and victim T-shirts have delegates nodding in agreement. The visual ideas, such as the beach ball, are also readily accepted. No matter where they are and no matter what the issues they face, people seem to function in the same way.”
Website: www.thesumoguy.com Newsletter: www.thesumoguy.com/Newsletter.php Events 3 day programme: www.thesumoguy.com/sumoprog.php Keynotes: www.thesumoguy.com/keypres.php Half or one day seminar www.thesumoguy.com/sumoseminar.php
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EDUCATION
Speed Reading or Spd Rdng? Tips to get your reading up to speed By Susan Norman and Jan Cisek
A
ll of us at some time have realised that reading quicker would be to our advantage – and that’s what traditional speed reading’s about. Reading quicker. However, the minute you start thinking about it, you come up with lots of provisos: I’ve got to understand what I’m reading, and I need to remember the information, and I want to enjoy it, and and and… So Spd Rdng (our term) is about reading more quickly. And it’s about understanding and remembering and enjoyment. Most of all, it’s about getting through much greater quantities of material in the time available. Most people read as if they were driving in first gear all the time. Spd Rdng works with the brain’s natural propensities to give you the numerous other skills you need to change gear at will. So what are the things that will make the biggest difference? You can speed up your reading right now using the underlining technique (see box on doubling your reading speed). This is just one of the traditional speed reading skills which encourage your eyes and brain to move more quickly so that you take in more information at one time. In addition, you can get through greater volumes of material by using any or all of the following:
Most of us are ‘overview’ people, and previewing your reading material is an excellent first step towards getting that overview. 3 Change your mindset from ‘reading books’ to ‘gathering information’. Spd Rdng involves change at different logical levels. While most of the techniques are skills, this one is at the level of belief. The first thing to realize is that it’s almost impossible to read for pleasure and read for information at the same time. If you try to do both at once, pleasure always wins. When you’re reading for pleasure, do what you like. When you’re reading for information, use the other Spd Rdng techniques – which bring their own pleasure.
The most controversial technique is ‘downloading’ directly to the non-conscious mind
1 Download to the non-conscious mind Perhaps the most controversial technique is ‘downloading’ directly to the non-conscious mind (the ‘photoreading’ step in Paul Scheele’s PhotoReading Whole Mind System). It’s really easy to do. Just hold the book so that you can see all four corners and all the words are in your visual field. Then turn the pages at the rate of one per second. It doesn’t matter whether the words are in focus or not and you certainly can’t ‘read’ them with traditional understanding at that rate. Just accept that your non-conscious is powerful enough to take in everything you see. The purpose is to prime the brain so that when you work with the information again, the new knowledge comes more easily to conscious awareness. A full explanation of this process is too lengthy to be included here. All the other techniques are applied consciously. 2 Preview Before you start reading a book, spend 2-5 minutes looking through it to find out what it’s about. Check the contents list, index (which words have the most entries?), cover blurb, date of publication (essential for subjects like computing or neuroscience where information quickly goes out of date). How is the book laid out? Are there summaries? Read a bit – will you get on with this author? Start by previewing those books by the bed, and all those journals and papers you’ve been meaning to get through. Look through all the unread books on your shelves.
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4 Set a clear purpose Knowing your outcome helps you achieve it. ‘This looks interesting’ is not a well-formed outcome/purpose. Nor is ‘to pass my exam’ – it’s too big. What you’re looking for is a purpose for reading a particular book at this time. The questions to ask are: What do I want to get out of this book? What do I want to do with the information? You can use any NLP outcomes model, but we use the management SMART purpose: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Real, Time-bound. With purpose, less is more. The more precise and measurable the purpose, the more
EDUCATION
While most of the techniques are skills, this one is at the level of belief information you can extract from the book, eg ‘6 things I can do to make me more productive at work’, ‘8 key points to answer this exam question’, ‘7 ideas to incorporate into my workshop’, etc.
Double your reading speed Underlining technique For the learning process, choose a book you haven’t read with extended lengths of uninterrupted text.
5 Work in 20-minute blocks. Time yourself. Stick to time. Your brain stays active. It’s easy to stay on task. Everyone can find 20 minutes for reading, so you do it (rather than put it off again).
Check your reading rate (see box) before and after the learning process.
6 Take notes Write in your book as you go, use post-it notes, or take notes on a separate piece of paper. It’s long been known that the act of writing can help you remember, but most people don’t think to do it.
2 Continue underlining, but pace your finger about 1cm in from the beginning of the line and finish about 1cm before the end. Read about 10 lines in this way to get used to the idea that you can understand the words at both ends of the line even without looking at them directly.
7 Read beginnings and endings Read the beginnings and endings of books, chapters, pages, paragraphs. If they exist, focus on summaries – research showed that students who’d read summaries of material remembered more for longer than those who read the whole book. This should give you enough information to know what the book is about. There’s obviously more – Spd Rdng consists of 37 individual techniques. But, as you can see, none of them is difficult to do and each one will help get you up to speed with your reading. You can get started right away. The cumulative effect of them all, though, is magical.
1 Start by using your finger to underline the words as you read them. Read 5 or 6 lines in this way to make sure you are reading the words and not looking at your finger (your ‘pacer’).
3 Now, do this much faster than you can actually take in information – ie follow the words on the page with your eyes as your finger underlines the centre chunk of each line at the rate of a line per second. (Yes. One second per line. Fast. If you’re secretly trying to understand as you go, then SPEED UP.) SMILE! This is easy and fun. (Enjoying something makes it easier to learn, and smiling ‘softens’ your eyes and allows you to pick up more in your peripheral vision.) You will not initially understand anything. That’s fine. However, after a page or so, you will begin to see words and disconnected chunks of meaning as you flash over the lines. Do this for at least five or six pages and at least until you begin to see words as you fly past. 4 (If you are doing a ‘before and after test’, do step 4 now for five minutes to check your ‘after’ speed.) Take a deep breath and smile. Still underlining the central part of each line, read as fast as you comfortably can with comprehension. Most people find that this technique at least doubles their reading rate.
We’re offering Rapport readers a free download of all 37 Spd Rdng techniqu es. Just go to our website www.spdrdng.com wher e you’ll also find details of courses and our forthcoming book.
Check your current reading rate Choose a book you haven’t read with extended lengths of uninterrupted text. Mark your starting point. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Read at your normal rate, with comprehension until the 5 minutes is up. Mark your stopping point. Count the number of lines/pages you have read. Calculate the average number of words on a line (ie count the exact number of words on three full lines and divide by three). Multiply the number of words by the number of lines. Divide by 5 for your reading speed in wpm (words per minute). An average (educated adult) reading speed is 70-150wpm. A typical spd rdr reads ‘normally’ at about 400-600wpm and processes about 10 times more information than the average reader.
Susan Norman and Jan Cisek have been working together to develop Spd Rdng since 2004. Jan (amongst other things) was the first trained PhotoReading instructor in the UK and Susan is an expert in accelerated learning. Contact us on 0208 444 0339, or susan@spdrdng.com
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INTERNATIONAL
“Is it spicy?” Sue Knight “You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you. But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you’ll learn things you never knew you never knew.” Pocahontas
I
s it spicy?” asked the blonde tourist surveying the array of dosa, samba, idli, green pea curry and chutneys on the breakfast table. “Medium” the waiter diplomatically replied. About to serve myself some of my favourite coconut chutney, she touched my arm with a worried look – “that is very spicy” she warned – “I tried that yesterday!” With more than a little bit of righteousness in my response “Oh that’s my favourite” and I proceeded to add another spoonful pointedly to my plate. I am often asked if NLP works across cultures. That question usually comes from people who have a mixed up notion of what NLP is truly about. Forget all this stuff about NLP being about communication, negotiating, positive thinking, phobia cures, tapping and mysticism. All those things it is NOT. It is a process of studying (modelling to use the more technical term) the structure of our experience, in particular, although not exclusively, the structure of excellence. The rest is an example of what has been discovered as a result of this modelling (some of the above are not even that but are packaged on the basis that they might ride on the back of this increasingly accepted form of research). Some of the best proponents of what NLP is all about are Penny Tompkins and James Lawley authors of Metaphors in Mind – a book that comprehensively illustrates the work of David Grove who they so skilfully modelled over recent years, (and who sadly died last year). Not only did they gracefully build the rapport with David that allowed them to gain access to his powerful ways of thinking and working but they captured the essence of that in their presentation of Clean Language and Clean Questions. However to be Clean in the way that we interact with
others requires a lot of skill and discipline. To be Clean means to put aside our notions of what might be happening and to be prepared to be in a not knowing state, openly allowing our experience to inform us of new worlds in
I am often asked if NLP works across cultures thinking and being. The tourist’s question “Is it spicy?” countered all of that. She was operating from her expectations and desire to stay in the familiar territory of her tastes. Not only that but she assumed that the waiter would be able to interpret what she meant by ‘spicy’ and she wanted to be informed of the answer. With NLP we can learn to be in a state of not knowing, allowing the answer to come from our experience, being real time and as such open to receiving feedback. Now that is different to how much of the traditional business world expects to be. Frequently I am asked “What will we be covering in this programme and how will you do that?” “I don’t know” is my answer. That is not to say that I don’t know where we are heading – I absolutely do. The path to that destination emerges from the experience in the moment. I am very much inspired by Parker J Palmer
Sue Knight is author of the newly revised 3rd edition of the international bestselling book “NLP at Work”. She runs NLP certification programmes in the UK, France, Australia, Dubai, and of course India!!!! You can find out more from her website www.sueknight.co.uk or contact Sue direct on sue@sueknight.co.uk
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References NLP at Work 3rd edition Sue Knight
who in his book The Courage to Teach says that teaching is like standing at the intersection of a busy highway with traffic coming at you from all directions. In India you don’t even have to be at an intersection to experience traffic in that way. I believe that an Indian driver will use their horn more times in a day than we would expect to use in the lifetime of a car in the UK!! “Whatever happens is the plan” is a popular expression here in India. Back to the question – does NLP travel across cultures? It is all about culture – about discovering what truly is important about different cultures not by asking but by being open to the new and allowing ourselves to have those rich spicy experiences. And if spicy means full on, challenging all senses, bringing us to the present with the intensity of what we experience right now (I remember the changed state of one of my often dissociated colleagues who, travelling to India for the first time mistook a chilli for a runner bean and put the whole thing in his mouth). To truly model culture we need to be prepared to put aside our customary ways of thinking, speaking, tasting, smelling, touching, feeling and open our hearts, minds and spirit to the new. In this way we just might be able to stop the rot that accompanies traditional tourism. Yesterday a group of newly arrived visitors to this predominantly vegetarian and coconut intense cuisine region, where cows wander freely as sacred beings asked if they could have beef burgers for their lunch! So is it spicy? Yes the coconut chutney is, the traffic is, the people are, the experience in India is, India is. The world is, if we allow ourselves to journey outside of the comfort of the familiar. And maybe, just maybe that way we can learn to live together appreciating the riches that come from valuing difference.
Metaphors in Mind Penny Tompkins and James Lawley
The Courage to Teach Parker J Palmer
I'm noticing so much now as I'm speaking to others - their language patterns, sensory information… The programme has created a real shift in me, and I'm finding it so exciting being able to use my learning to help others...
Still assimilating the most amazing nine days of my life and really excited about where the journey will take me...
I've also reached new levels of self-awareness that I never felt possible...
The mix of practical exercises, challenging and provocative discussions and knowledgeable and fascinating input, led to a truly memorable learning experience…
Are you ready for the experience now?
……We are recruiting MY LiFE COACH is a vibrant new coaching company with a mission to bring exceptional coaching experiences to as many people as possible across the UK. We have aggressive growth plans and inspiring leadership, all we need now is you. AREA LEAD ASSOCIATES OTE £40K no earnings cap If you feel like you want to earn a substantial second income and you are an NLP Master Practitioner or Practitioner with lots of drive, then we would like to talk with you. By 2011, we see MY LiFE COACH being one of the biggest coaching providers in the UK and if your values fit with ours we know this is a winning combination. The role of a Lead Associate will be to recruit, develop, coach and maintain around 15 to 25 coaches in your area. Your role will include helping your coaches with business development and maintaining a minimum client book at all times. We expect that you could spend up to five or six days a month doing this. There is no up-front investment and you have the opportunity to belong to a large and credible coaching organisation that will set the standard in our Industry. We are also recruiting part-time coaches with an earnings potential of £12K for around twenty hours a month. For further information and to discuss opportunities in your area call Harjit Chana in the first instance for an informal discussion. Call Harjit now - 07512360124 or 07711709190.
CELEBRITY
Julia Cameron By Eve Menezes Cunningham
J
ulia Cameron’s prescription for Morning Pages (see panel) in her bestseller The Artist’s Way have been adopted by so many creative types that they’re regularly recommended by the unlikeliest of people. “I wrote the book with a handful of friends in mind and knew they needed what was in the book,” says Julia. “When I showed it to my literary agent, she said no one would be interested.” Julia was working as a screenwriter and was told to stick to that. Based on creativity enhancing methods she’d been teaching for ten years, Julia’s faith in the techniques was strong enough to take a risk. She published The Artist’s Way and it became a bestseller. Although she knows the benefits of her own exercises, Julia sometimes tries to resist. She says, “I have to be alert because my own denial will set in and I’ll think I don’t have time to do my Morning Pages and Artist’s Dates. I very seldom miss a day. Sometimes while I’m travelling, I find not doing it makes the day much more discombobulated. It creates a sense of pressure. It’s better to do it late
You need someone who believes in your potential and possibility than not at all. If I miss writing them first thing in the morning, I do it as soon as possible afterwards.” Still, she was very clear that my attempt to adapt them to Evening Pages wouldn’t do. I’d known from reading her books that it probably wasn’t but, being far from my best in the mornings, had hoped for some kind of special dispensation. “If you do the pages at night, you’re powerless to change the day,” says Julia. “Really, try it again. It’s a shock to the system. If a person is a morning person, they may already be too defended. Already too intact. Morning Pages is about trying to catch you before ego has had a chance to set in. One of the things that happens when you do Morning Pages is you become much more sensitive.” This can have a big impact on your relationships. “You realise that person really isn’t good for me. You begin to prefer own company.”
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In her books, Julia mentions “champions”. Just reading about her friendships with people like Sonia Choquette and Natalie Goldberg (whose books I also love) sounds supportive and encouraging. “Sonia’s been a friend for 25 years. When I get stuck in my writing, I call her and she’ll tell me to go for a walk.” Julia points out that most of the time, she’d know this was what she needed to do but sometimes she needs to hear it from a friend. “A champion is a believing mirror. A believing mirror is someone who mirrors back your possibility and your potential. A believing mirror is a positive influence. It may be specific to an art form or might be someone more general. “If you come up blank, if you survey your friends and don’t have someone who fits that description, which is a pity, you can create one for yourself. It may include people you’ve read. I’m a believing mirror for lots of my readers. You need someone who believes in your potential and possibility.” Even though Julia initially aimed the exercises at artists, writers and other creative types quickly started using her methods. “I would say an artist is someone who recognises that their creativity is central,” says Julia. “I think it does get into the mainstream now. If one person works the book, they recommend it to seven others so it gets used by people who don’t consider themselves artists. “It’s important to acknowledge that creativity and spirituality are very closely intertwined. If you work on your creativity, your spirituality heightens and it works the other way around. Even though I teach a secular course, people are building a spiritual radio kit with it. It’s very broad.”
CELEBRITY
An artist is someone who recognises that their creativity is central Experiment with your own Morning Pages Julia makes it clear, in The Artist’s Way, that there is no wrong way to do your Morning Pages. The idea is to clear your head, first thing in the morning, by writing whatever comes to mind. This then unblocks your creativity. Julia says that even you shouldn’t reread them. Take pressure off yourself. Writing whatever comes to mind without judging it disarms your inner censor. This then allows creative thought to develop before you immediately shut it down. Step 1 Stir from your sleep Step 2 Reach for your pen and paper (may be a notebook or loose pages) Step 3 Write three pages of whatever springs to mind. Don’t force it and definitely don’t censor it. Just write Step 4 Put them away and don’t re-read them Step 5 Get on with your day, free from all the distractions that have now been acknowledged
Take yourself out on an Artist Date The idea behind this is to get a regular dose of inspiration. We all know that sitting in front of the computer for hours can sometimes stop words in their tracks. Just changing the scenery can sometimes be enough to get your creative juices flowing again. Julia recommends a weekly Artist Date. This is time purely for you. Soul feeding time. Even if you can only manage two hours at a time, once a week, you’ll soon see the benefits. “It doesn’t have to be high art, just something significant to you,” says Julia. Although she recommends taking in a museum or gallery or having a walk in nature, she also recognises the value of other things aimed at feeding your creative spirit. “I know people who’ll go for a manicure and pedicure, visit bookstores (especially children’s bookstores), people who have a
Reiki treatment or attend a personal development workshop. You may visit a good plant store or good pet store. Then there are galleries and concerts.” When was the last time you took an afternoon out just for you? Blocking out several hours a week just for you and your creativity will help your muse find you (or, at least, for you to be more open to its inspiration). Schedule your Artist Dates into your diary as you would any other appointment. Keep your word to yourself. Julia warns that you may experience resistance to keeping your Artist Dates and she explains that this is simply a fear of intimacy with yourself. If this happens, you may well find clues as to what you’re avoiding in your Morning Pages. Give yourself permission to follow your impulses and enjoy reconnecting with your most creative self.
Morning Pages is about trying to catch you before ego has had a chance to set in
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COACHING
Performance Coaching for Children & Young People By Raziya Sacranie
For parents it is encouraging for them to know the benefits of coaching and the effect it can have on their child. Explain the process and what they can expect to happen in a session. When the coach expresses their commitment and values to the parents, this instils confidence in the parents about what coaching is and how it helps their child. The benefit of coaching for children and young people is that it allows them the freedom to speak in safety and confidence without fear of judgment or criticism. Coaching develops self-confidence and self esteem, enhances motivation and increases a willingness and capacity to learn and change. When change takes place it is said that learning takes place. They develop their skills, develop a positive attitude and they think more positively. Given the right environment and circumstances, children and young people are hungry to learn. They are open and receptive. Coaching gives them strategies to cope with uncertainty, break negative
C
hildren and young people need to have confidence in themselves and in their abilities; this self belief can be transferred into all areas of their lives. They need to overcome blocks to learning and using a coach can facilitate this. It not only supports them but helps them to develop their full potential in their lives in the present and into the future. Coaching does not take the place of encouragement and support from parents or teachers. What it can do is give a child the opportunity to work with someone on an individual basis that is not part of their regular life, at home or school. A coach is someone who is completely objective. Children live in the moment‌..if they are balanced and well adjusted, they can really achieve. Coaching can help to achieve that balance, get them back to a place where they
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If they are balanced and well adjusted, they can really achieve are able to make changes to facilitate growth. Think back to your childhood experiences. Do you ever remember a time when an adult criticised you? How did that feel? Sometimes the damage, as a result of criticism by teachers/parents/other adults, can have a lasting impact on a life, for many years to come. Coaching children and young people can be challenging. It is also rewarding work, whether to improve sport performance, cope with exam nerves, school work, music or relationships. Children are very open and receptive and are less resistant to change. Explore what motivates them. To interact better with them, understand their family lives, interests, personality, sports, hobbies and skills. Watching and listening are at least as important as talking.
belief patterns and set new aspirations. I was already qualified to work with children and had trained as a NLP practitioner and a Business and Life Coach a few years earlier and had since been working with a variety of clients, from very different backgrounds. During this time I had the opportunity of coaching clients who came with a very diverse range of issues that they wanted to work on. Some felt trapped in their jobs and relationships; some lacked motivation to go for the things that they say they wanted for themselves, others felt stuck in the past - they felt ‘held back’. There were those who were having difficulty forming meaningful and close relationships and others; who could not decide what the next step was in their business and professional life but knew they wanted to make a change.
COACHING
The common factor with many of the clients I was working with was the desire to develop their Self Belief and Confidence. My experience of working with children and young people had begun some years ago during my teacher training when I taught 16-19 year olds in a large college, and I had thoroughly enjoyed the challenges. Two years ago I had worked with 6-15 year olds, at a local swimming club attending a swim school as the team ‘relaxologist’. My brief was to create and deliver a programme for the children that would give them tools to help them prepare mentally and to help them to relax before the competitive and sometimes stressful swim meets they attended. Using a combination of NLP, yoga techniques and guided relaxation I created sessions that received positive responses from the children – and also from the swimming coaches who participated. The experience of working on this project with this age group was exhilarating. I came away from the event buzzing knowing that this work could have such a positive effect on young people and really make a difference.
When change takes place it is said that learning takes place
CASE STUDY Libby, aged 15 and a very talented footballer came to me wanting to be a confident player and improve her sporting ability. Despite playing football at county level, despite her sports coaches, friends and family telling her that she was an outstanding player, Libby did not believe it – or see it! Libby’s confidence had taken a knock following a setback at an England regional trial. This was impacting on how she felt about her ability and how she saw her future. ‘I want to think I am good at football’, ‘I want to believe that I can play well’, she told me. It occurred to me that working with someone younger may present some challenges. Was there a difference in how I should approach working with a young person? What did I need to consider? I soon realised that this was not the case. So long as I used appropriate language that was understood I would receive the responses to help her move forward and hopefully to the place that Libby needed to be. Over the next few sessions with Libby we looked at what she believed, what she wanted and where she wanted to be. I worked with some of the NLP Change Processes to help her to improve her
confidence levels. Sometimes the ‘change processes’ created slightly embarrassed giggles as it was all so alien to Libby. The breakthrough came at the session when I used Generative Belief Change. The opportunity of having to imagine what advice family, friends and coaches would give her and say it out loud – created a real ‘Aha’ moment for Libby. It also made her stop and suddenly announce, ‘I really like this game’. This is a good example of the Change Processes in action. So that was the secret. It’s all a game, make it fun and be creative. I then realised that I could introduce other creative tools to help the coaching process and that’s when I asked Libby to bring pictures, photos, words cut out of magazines and cuttings…. anything that we could use to make up a picture of the future she dreamed for herself. Libby could now visualise her future. Creating her very own story board, whilst I continued to coach her, using the things she had chosen to go on her board, with appropriate questioning, began to really impact on her thoughts and how she saw herself. By giving her a sensory experience, the metamorphosis began as she started to visualise her success story and picture the future she dreamed of.
By session four I learned that Libby was going to trial for a Premiership football academy for 2010. The focus of her next coaching session was to prepare her for this. I knew that I wanted to do something more, something different that I had not already done in the preceding weeks. Libby had made great progress in our earlier sessions – there had been much talking and goal setting and anchoring. I wanted her to be prepared for this important day and also to be in a very relaxed state…..or at least to be able to call on a relaxed state before her trial. I decided to write a hypnotherapy script that was specific to Libby, so that I could take her through a guided relaxation at the end of her coaching session. Her script was full of her favourite places and things, doing the things she enjoyed and being with people that she wanted to be with. A few days later Libby and her Mum surprised me with a visit to deliver the good news. She had been accepted by the academy and would be starting in 2010. It was an amazing moment, a genuine ‘Aha’. ‘If I get in….’ Libby had said to her Mum on the drive to London, ‘it will be because of Raziya’. ‘No, Libby. It was inside you all the time. I just helped you to find it’, I told her. The positive outcome of this success story for me has been that I have since had the opportunity to coach more children. Inspired by Libby’s story, parents of other talented children involved in sports such as tennis and ice-skating have recognised the benefits that coaching can bring to their youngster. Not only the effect coaching has on how they perform their sport but also in the increase to their motivation, confidence levels, self belief and enjoyment of their sport. Performance coaching is about helping individuals to grow their potential and improve their confidence. There is an old saying that competence leads to confidence. I knew Libby could do it. Coaching children and young people has been and continues to be a motivating and very rewarding experience. I adapt the language I use to enable them to understand and connect. Through their innocence, receptiveness, willingness and curiosity, I am able to adapt the NLP processes and use creative techniques to engage and entertain…. make it fun and the changes happen. The ‘change processes’ become games to ‘play’.
raziyasacranie@gmail.com
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HEALTH
NLP and the
Living Matrix By Arielle Essex
Informational Medicine Working as a Healer and NLP Specialist for the last 25 years, it’s not often I come across something as exciting as the cutting-edge approach of ‘informational medicine’. The concept of the body as a ‘living matrix’ has opened new connections in my mind about how to make sense of recent scientific research, how to encourage healing, and how NLP fits into this picture. My recent participation in ‘The Living Matrix movie’ allowed me to share my personal journey of healing a brain tumour. I hoped my story would inspire others about how NLP can make such things possible. To my surprise, the movie also produced an unexpected and pleasing side effect. It pointed out undeniable connections between current scientific discoveries and healing that rattle even the most sceptical people. Plus, this solid foundation of research more than validates the use of NLP approaches for healing. (www.thelivingmatrixmovie.com) The Miracle of the Body Just how do the 70 trillion cells that make up the body cooperate so well? Like a vast orchestra of complex instruments playing beautiful music, the cells of our bodies coordinate their activities throughout this incredible system. Human life begins with the joining of a tiny egg and sperm. The study of morphogenesis struggles to answer the question: just how do all the cells that grow and develop decide what kind of instrument to become and what music to play? How do they work together so compatibly? Genes: A Blind Alley Newspapers would have us believe that Genetic Science has all the answers, but molecular biologist Dr. Bruce Lipton has shown that genes are merely the reproductive organs of the cell. Rather than DNA pre-determining destiny, or causing disease, genes merely hold information. Genes do nothing until they are switched
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only control the cell, but alter how the whole genome gets expressed. So the environment outside the cell determines the content of the fluids inside the cell. Rather like the way we respond to stimuli from our environment and then choose how to react to that sensory information. For example, when a pregnant mother experiences fear, her body cells flood with adrenalin. The consequence for her unborn baby is that the baby’s hindbrain (that governs balance and coordination for fight/flight) develops more than the forebrain (which governs cognitive, sensory and motor function). Hence an environment of fear may yield a culture of warriors. on. The presence of one gene does not conduct the orchestra. Ninety five percent of all Cancer has no hereditary connection. Breast Cancer usually involves over 189 genetic errors. More importantly, it’s the spaces between the genes, or the ‘regulatory sequences’, that are responsible for switching the genes on and off. So what governs these regulatory sequences? Scientist John Cairns experimented with a colony of e-coli that had no genes for creating the enzyme lactase that breaks down milk sugar. When this colony was immersed in milk, with nothing else to eat, the genes immediately began to mutate to create lactase, so that the e-coli could digest the milk sugar! Even though they did not have the necessary genes, these cells ‘learned’ what to do to survive, providing impressive evidence that genes are not the sole governing information regulators for cells. The Environment Rules Dr. Bruce Lipton has long maintained that genes change according to environmental influence. He says the membrane between the cell and the outside fluids is what governs these regulatory sequences. The receptors in the membrane of the cell not
The Map Is Not the Territory What’s important to note is that it is the mother’s perception of what she fears, or her beliefs, that cause this effect. So what will happen if she questions that perception? What if she increases her powers of observation and awareness? Could a more balanced sense of reality be gained? What if she challenges what her experience means? Reframing the imagined consequences, connecting to a different outcome or a higher value, chunking the experience down to specific parts or aspects, reconnecting with positive intentions or accessing deeper truths could lead to a completely different and healthier response. Russian Dolls The Neurological Levels model, adapted from Gregory Bateson by Robert Dilts, does a brilliant job of describing how different levels of our inner worlds nestle within each other, like a set of Russian dolls. Being able to make these distinctions can help locate the possible causes that contributed to a healing issue. Moving from Environment to Spirit, a hierarchy seems to be implied, but in reality the levels are not separate.
HEALTH The Neurological Levels Mode Spirit: purpose
What is your bigger purpose? Could this inspire a new mission?
Identity: role models, self
Who are you? Body or soul? Who has been your role model? What is believed about healing? Why do you want to heal?
Beliefs & Values: thought, memory , ideas
How easily can you change? How well can you become?
Capability: positive or negative habits & expertise Behaviour: actions, movement, emotions, symptoms, blockages Environment: The body, air, water, light, warmth, nutrients, outside influences
What actions cause this? What do you need to do now? What are the symptoms? What context? Where?
The Immune System Is Eavesdropping Neurophysicist Candace Pert discovered that brain cells communicate with each other by secreting neuropeptides. Curiously, when one brain cell secretes a neuropeptide, the receptor cells for that neuropeptide on other brain cells do the same - almost simultaneously. So nerve transmission is not electrical as previously believed. In fact, the speed that a message would take, using the electrical synapses to reach different parts of the body, is much too slow. Plus different nerve pathways travel at different speeds.
The Microcosm Is the Macrocosm Looking deeper into the microcosm of each cell will reveal numerous kinds of organelles, each busy with a different purpose. But all are made of molecules containing similar elements: mostly oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, and carbon. Each element contains trillions of atoms, enveloped by the Quantum Electro Dynamic Field (QED). This Field used to be thought of as empty space, but in fact, it is anything but empty! This is the Field of probability: energy waiting to happen. The Field is the ultimate ‘environment’.
So we have thinking immune systems that are eavesdropping on us
Random Events? In order to make the best use of all this information for healing, we need to understand what makes stupid atoms choose to join up and create molecules? How do dumb molecules know how to create complicated cell structures? Back in the Stone Age thinking of the 20th Century, it used to be believed that the Universe developed via random events. Atoms bumped into each other and presto! A molecule formed. When scientists managed to grow some amino acids in a test tube, they took this as proof that life had originated by chance, out of some kind of Primordial Soup. But guesstimates about the age of the Universe do not allow enough time for even one cell to have developed in this random way. Plus the study of epigenetics tells
The interesting question is what makes the first brain cell secrete the neuropeptide? The surprising answer is: ‘thought’. Every thought, notion or idea stimulates a secretion of neuropeptide. What’s even more important for healing is that Candace Pert discovered the same receptors exist in the immune system, on the white blood cells called monocytes. These white blood cells are all over the body, picking up the neuropeptides. So we have thinking immune systems that are eavesdropping on us. This may explain why visualization techniques work so well. Imagining positive pictures of healing metaphors, mantras, colour, light and peace work wonders, because the body is listening. Candace Pert also discovered that other organs all over the body have the same receptor sites for neuropeptides. This means that we have a thinking body. The mind does not live in the brain alone. The entire body is capable of processing and responding to creative thought.
us that new species are springing into being all the time, as genes mutate according to changes in their environment. Astrophysicist Fred Hoyle said, ‘to believe natural processes assembled a living cell is like believing a tornado could pass through a junkyard containing bits and pieces of an airplane and leave behind a Boeing 747 in its wake, fully assembled and ready to fly.’ Self Organizing Rather than random events, the accepted understanding now is that everything in the universe operates according to self organizing principles based on simple equations. Mathematician Benoit Mandlebrot, the father of fractal geometry, defined how a complex structure can arise from a simple definition. His equation, called the Mandelbrot set, seems to describe how chemical interactions, cell structures, plant growth, cloud formation and every organism can self organise with infinite complexity. Depending on the starting point, the process will continue to unfold in somewhat predictable patterns. Yet no two results will be ever be the same. Because it’s impossible
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HEALTH
to identify the starting point, it’s also impossible to predict the outcome with certainty. Hence the famous quote from the pioneer of chaos theory, Edward Lorenz “Does the flap of a butterfly’s wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas?” Even the tiniest change can affect what develops later on. If our body cells self-organise, and our body cells reflect thoughts, then it stands to reason that our thinking may also follow mathematical pathways. Often one thought will yield other thoughts, which result in states, which lead to expressions or actions, which then multiply the thoughts to others, etc. As the body knows how to heal a cut finger or a cold, it must also know how to correct aberrations in the complicated molecular structures throughout the system. In fact, the body does a great job most of the time, except when it seems to forget how. At times like that, if we knew how to re-install the right instructions, or ‘information’, as well as turn around the thinking that is associated with the cell structure, then healing could occur with ease. What is Information? The Quantum Vacuum of the Field could be described as a vast interconnecting network of lightwaves. Where two waves meet or intersect, they form interference patterns, similar to what happens when you throw pebbles into a pond. If you could freeze the pond at that instant, you could tell exactly where the pebbles once hit the water. These patterns therefore store ‘information’. Similarly, light waves store information in the Field when particle energy fields intersect each other. Despite masses of research into mapping areas of the brain, no biochemical structure for holding memory has ever been found. In fact, Karl Pribram’s experiments with rats learning a maze illustrated how removing most of the rat’s brain tissue made no difference to the rat’s ability to remember the way through. Arielle is a Master Practitioner & Trainer of NLP, Cranial Osteopath and Health Specialist. The personal experience of healing her own brain tumour provided many insights, as well as motivation to share what she learned. Her first book ‘Compassionate Coaching’ outlines the techniques which helped her heal. Arielle regularly teaches ‘Practical Miracle Healing’ Workshops. She recently appeared in the Living Matrix Movie. More on this topic in Download books available via website. www.practicalmiracles.com
30 | Spring 2010 - rapport
The Brain is a Mobile Phone! However, different areas of the brain do relate to specific types of experience. For example, by stimulating an area named ‘the God Spot’ in the hippocampus part of the brain, people have transcendent experiences. But instead of being a storage library of memories, it would be more accurate to view the brain as being a receiver and interpreter, rather like a mobile phone picking up messages. The brain has the apparatus for tuning into and interpreting the information stored in the Field. Just like a
phone, how well each area of the brain works will affect how well that type of information can be accessed and received. Start with the Right Intention It’s now thought that the Field holds the musical score: the blueprint of the body, including all the organizing principles, rules, patterns, resonance and memory. So, starting with a positive intention and an appropriate outcome, does more than mere goal setting. The intention primes the Field and shapes the perceptions. From the tiniest fractals, the chemistry starts working towards the desired result. No one can afford the luxury of negative thinking. Indulging in negative thinking and emotions multiplies dis-ease by sending energy in the wrong direction. Instead it’s better to move away from polarized perceptions of good and bad, to let go of measuring progress, and to keep correcting the direction of mind and feelings. Like becoming a virtuoso of any musical instrument, lots of practice and patience is required. As ‘A Course in Miracles’ says, ‘infinite patience produces immediate results’.
No one can afford the luxury of negative thinking BELIEFS, Robert Dilts, Tim Hallbom & Suzi Smith, Metamorphous Press, 1990
PUNK SCIENCE, Dr. Manjir Samanta-Laughton, O Books, 2006
DECODING THE HUMAN BODYFIELD, Peter H. Fraser and Harry Massey, Healing Arts Press 2008.
QUANTUM HEALING, Deepak Chopra, Bantam NY 1989
MOLECULES OF EMOTION, Candace Pert 1997 Scribner Books
THE RECONNECTION, Heal Others, Heal Yourself, Dr. Eric Pearl, Hay House 2001
THE BIOLOGY OF BELIEF, Dr. Bruce Lipton, Hay House Inc 2008 THE FIELD, Lynne McTaggart, Element Books 2001
THE HEARTMATH SOLUTION, Doc Childre and Howard Martin 1999 Piatkus Books
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Change, ecology and social beliefs By David Molden
I
n general we are free to choose what we do. As long as we obey the law and pay our taxes we are free to pursue an ambition and develop our potential. If the employer is unsupportive we can choose to take our knowledge, skills, experience and energy to a more worthy paymaster. Yet how much choice do we actually exercise for ourselves? How much of what you do every day has been decided out of conscious choice? When using an NLP framework for change we test the impact in other areas of our life; we carry out an ecology check highlighting secondary consequences of change we may not have taken into account. When someone gives up on change it is often to do with the ecology of social belonging, its beliefs and its rituals. It’s in our nature to want to fit in to a societal group, with familiar rituals and behaviours. Even the most adventurous find comfort in the rituals of an adventurous lifestyle. This desire forms the glue that keeps groups together, and it is this glue that often hinders personal change. Early in my career I worked for a service company where a very
32 | Spring 2010 - rapport
It’s in our nature to want to fit in to a societal group
laddish and arrogant behaviour could be seen among the senior management team. Their rituals included stock phrases, each one with its own voice tone and storytelling about outrageous employee antics. I am certain that leader role modelling was responsible for many of the rituals - monkey see, monkey do. It was easy to spot the change in behaviour of new group members as they slowly adopted the rituals. How far can you take the idea that you become what you believe? There are many examples in all types and aspects of society. I have chosen the following stories to demonstrate the strength of group rituals which are driven by social beliefs. Dinner up north I came down early for dinner, ordered my meal and watched a group
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retire’. It’s as if society wants us to conform to the expectations set by numbers, and numbers feed your beliefs. I heard on national radio, that due to advances in healthcare a person today of age 30 should expect to live into their late eighties. Some people will probably not reach this age, and others will live many years longer, but I expect many will believe this statistic and ponder on it numerous times over their life. A new societal belief is created. So how do you process a radio report like this? A statistician has told you how long you are going to live, so now you know how long your teeth and your pension have to last. The stroke In 2001 my mother had a stroke. She lost the movement of her right side completely. I heard the doctor tell her that she would not regain full movement and her speech would always be slurred. A doctor can hinder recovery simply by what he says to a patient. I had to intervene. Within fifteen minutes of using a mix of NLP, Qigong and Feldenkrais my mother was able to move her right arm, hand and leg quite easily. Her face was a picture of amazement as she said ‘I’m not supposed to be able to do this’. Unfortunately it didn’t last because her societal beliefs were too strong. A physiotherapist who had been attending my mother returned in the evening. She made a special journey back to tell my mother not to get her hopes up as it was highly unlikely she would ever walk again without assistance. This was just one of many incidents, too many for my frail mother to resist, even if she had the heart to. My miracle moments with her became buried under a mountain of societal beliefs. The choice she made was the path of least resistance.
How far can you take the idea that you become what you believe?
of 30 or so pensioners shuffle into the dining room from the bar where they had been enjoying a pre-dinner aperitif. Some had walking sticks, others were holding onto their partner’s arm for support. I watched one particular couple. The lady used the gentleman’s arm to lean on as they cautiously made the short journey into the dining room. Did the lady have weak legs, or arthritis, I asked myself, or maybe an unstable hip? As I was wondering what had happened to her, she suddenly stopped, realised she had left her drink in the bar and strode back briskly to retrieve it. On rejoining the group she reverted to the slow assisted lumbering walk just like the other members of the group. What I witnessed in that Derbyshire hotel connected with the memory of a Tai Chi class where my master asked the question, ‘how do you know when you are old?’ He explained that attitude and disposition are a true reflection of your age, not the number of years you have lived. Over time your body posture and movement reflect your attitude which shows your true age. The birthday What is the purpose of counting the years of your life? The numbers let you know when you are allowed to drink, vote, get married, drive a car, draw a pension, have a bus pass and receive a letter from the queen. Beyond this I can see no positive purpose for counting the years. It is a way of mentally recording your stage in life. The tradition of birthdays includes the party, cake, candles, cards and badges with numbers and games. The young child impatiently waits to become another year older, and closer to being an adult with the freedom it brings. After a while the years appear to go by too quickly. Why not throw the candles off the cake and celebrate wisdom, health, fitness, achievements and relationships? Surely life’s experiences are more worthy of celebration than a number? When you count the numbers there is a societal expectation that change will follow some numerical idea of what age is at 50, 60, 70, 80 or 100. Other people will certainly offer you their opinions of how you should be fitting a numerical concept of age with comments like ‘you’re doing well for your age’, and ‘another few years and you can
The queue I was wondering how to pass the time whilst waiting to clear airport security. There were delays and I was in a queue which snaked outside the terminal building. Smokers took advantage of being outside and lit up for a final smoke before entering the no-smoking zone. I decided to take some exercise and started doing some push-ups and stretching. A number of people turned to look at me as if I was a little crazy. No-one looked at the smokers because it was common practice to pollute the air and commit an act of slow death whilst standing in a queue, but I
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NLP
knew who the real crazy people were. Go to any market and notice how the stall with the largest crowd draws more people in. If enough people believe something is of value then others are likely to follow suit. In old black and white movies, most of the stars of that era smoked on screen. Tough guys, smart guys and good guys all smoked, and so it’s not surprising that many other people followed suit and copied their screen heroes. Often the choices we make are illogical, but with the positive intention of helping us to feel good through association with a group, and so that we don’t stand out in a crowd and become a spectacle of difference. It seems that people take their cues from others; if enough people are doing something then it must be ok, good, popular or smart for me too, and yet this is how the current global recession began. The credit crunch Will Hutton gave a fascinating explanation of how a handful of bankers had put together some very complex finance deals in an attempt to feed an increasing demand for credit. Within the mix were subprime mortgages. Many bankers didn’t understand how the deals had been put together but took them regardless because they didn’t want to miss out and look foolish. Plenty of other bankers were taking them, so it must be a smart move, but like lambs to the slaughter they followed suit, blindly ignorant of the risk they were taking. Then house prices fell causing a global debt crisis. If you work in an organisation you are likely to see plenty of this behaviour. It is surprising what people will do to feel they belong and to not stand out from the crowd.
If a million people ignore something it doesn’t make that thing irrelevant
Death by PowerPoint If you work in an office you will not escape the ubiquitous PowerPoint presentation. Few people enjoy sitting through commentaries of bulleted lists and slides full of detail, yet they do. PowerPoint is a crutch for fear, a security device to mask a lack of presentation ability. You can get training for this. You can break your dependence on PowerPoint and learn how to truly engage an audience. Anyone can do it; in fact this is one of the major ways to engage, motivate and influence others, so why do managers persist with their presentation incompetence? Why improve when everyone else presents in this way? There’s comfort
David Molden, FCIPD
34 | Spring 2010 - rapport
Director with Quadrant 1 International
in numbers and so following suit remains the norm. Are we unable to think for ourselves? We know how to eat sensibly, exercise, and keep our minds active, yet so many people ignore what they know often because they see others ignoring it. There’s comfort in numbers. If a million people ignore something it doesn’t make that thing irrelevant, it just means there are one million people ignoring it. You don’t have to follow suit – you can choose for yourself. If you look for it you will always find overwhelming evidence supporting the most ridiculous societal beliefs, but why not choose to filter for the more inspiring exceptions? So what societal beliefs have you adopted or rejected? Of those you have adopted, how many are logical and reasonable and how many are ridiculous? NLP gives us the awareness to recognise patterns, and the tools to make our own tracks. We act more from personal choice and learn to ask questions about utility rather than make judgements of good or bad. As social creatures we enjoy the glue that holds us together. It gives us a sense of belonging which is a wonderful aspect of life. Sometimes however, when we want to exercise a choice, we may need to dissolve some of our social glue, stand out, be different and replace old rituals with new.
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NLP and Politics By Eve Menezes Cunningham
R
apport is especially important for politicians canvassing door to door. They never know what kind of response awaits them. “The hardest thing is getting over the fear that you’re going to be rejected,” says Jean Lambert, Green MEP for London. “I’m far happier speaking in front of an audience of 10,000 people than canvassing. But canvassing gives you a shot of confidence about speaking to anybody.” Sometimes, people answer the door with a “Good for you!” But what happens when it’s obvious that you’ve knocked on the wrong door? Jean says, “You have to have decided beforehand what your strategy is going to be. Sometimes, you’ll say something like, ‘You’re obviously not going to be voting for us. OK.’ If it’s something really offensive or racist, you might say, ‘I quite understand why you don’t want to vote for us.’ “Body language tells us a lot. Sometimes, they appreciate you talking to them, that you haven’t tried to persuade them or propagandise. If they want to know certain things, you can follow up. Canvassers learn to record this kind of information so they can go back and show people they’ve been heard.” William Bain, the newly elected Labour MP for Glasgow North East had an especially tough time canvassing for his seat. The expenses scandal was fresh and people were especially distrustful of politicians. “Coming from a Labour supporting family, I wanted to help deliver progressive change in my area and the country at large,” says William. Before standing himself, he canvassed for several other candidates. “The biggest challenge is encountering a major problem which is causing them distress. You need to make sure that you give sufficient time to hear all the details and get something done about it afterwards.” His biggest highlight was “Meeting 10,000 people on the doorstep during the Glasgow North East by-election campaign in 2009. It made the difference come polling day.” “Politics can make a difference,” says William. “Whether that’s campaigning for investment to renovate a local community venue or tackling child and pensioner poverty. None of these policies happen because of chance, but are down to the choices we make in Parliament, or in other democratic institutions. Canvassing has given me a better understanding of the diversity of our people and our country.” “It’s a lot easier if you’re in an area where you’re aware of the major local issues that people are likely to raise,” says Dr Ian Johnson. He was selected as the Plaid Cymru candidate for the Vale of Glamorgan last year. Before that, he had canvassed for other candidates. “You get a much better rapport that way through shared experiences. The biggest challenge is having the self confidence to engage with someone you’ve never met before and whose reaction to you may not always be welcoming. Especially if you’re calling at an important moment in Corrie or EastEnders or during a big match. “You have to make very quick judgment calls about the type of person with whom you’re speaking and what their interests might be, while also remembering that stereotypes can be very, very wrong.
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There’s no second chance for a first impression, so you have to be the best that you can be every time and take no-one for granted Ian Johnson, Plaid Cymru Every person you speak to is equally important and their voices count equally. Having a real discussion or making them consider a different perspective can be just as valuable an experience as getting a vote. “Getting into an argument on someone’s doorstep is a waste of everybody’s time. Some people will want to listen and discuss issues while others will have no interest in what you’re offering. The important thing is to take away the pleasant experiences and all the lovely people you meet when canvassing and not dwell on the people who gave you an unfairly hard time or hold unfounded negative views. “Canvassing gets you used to meeting and reacting very quickly to people of all sorts of varied backgrounds and trying to understand them quickly. It can be very useful in any sort of social or networking situation where you have to recognise different types or groups of people and direct your message accordingly. You have to be succinct in the message that you put across. There’s no second chance for a first impression, so you have to be the best that you can be every time and take no one for granted.”
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WHAT MOTIVATES SOMEONE TO CANVASS? “Canvassing has made me more confident about talking to strangers” says Kate Fulton. Based in Massachusetts, she has been campaigning for candidates she believes in for several years. “I have always been involved in issues involving women’s rights, Native Americans and peace. When I became a member of the state council of NOW (National Organization for Women), I became aware of the need to back candidates who share my views,” says Kate. These have included presidential candidate, John Kerry and Senator Edward Kennedy as well as other national, state, county and local officials.
“During Kerry’s campaign, I travelled to New Hampshire every weekend for months before the election and went door-to-door. I have also held signs on street corners but feel it is more effective to actually speak to potential voters.” While Kate’s used to being polite and chatting with people who don’t share her views, she was alarmed when one woman started screaming at them, calling Kerry a baby killer: “We left as quickly as possible. She was really frightening but I normally respect others’ views, thank them, and leave quickly and quietly.”
THINKING OF GETTING INVOLVED? “Get involved in a way that suits you,” says Jean. “If you don’t feel ready for canvassing, don’t let that stop you getting involved in politics.” In order to help people who aren’t used to canvassing, Jean says, “A lot of local parties do briefings. They talk about what they’re trying to do, how to approach people, what materials to bring and so on.” “Always campaign for ideals you believe in." Says William. "Try and enjoy yourself. Campaigning
for change in people’s lives is the most satisfying part of politics.” “Believe in what you’re telling people." Says Ian. "They know a liar or someone who doesn’t really believe in the words they’re saying. You also give politicians a bad name when you do it. Think of your own personal competencies and what interests you – whether you take on or run for an elected office or want to help the community in some other way there’s a role for which you’re
best suited. Always do what you enjoy." “Contact the campaign and find out what is needed,” says Kate. “Consider your own resources - money, time, energy. Be as well prepared as possible, know that it is not personal. Remember you are representing your candidate or issue, not yourself. Offer to get answers if you don’t have them to hand.”
WHAT WOULD “RUNNING FOR OFFICE” MEAN IN YOUR LIFE? You may not need to go door to door but do you have a dream that involves you speaking out and getting behind yourself 100%? Have you acknowledged it even to yourself? What resources do you already have? Do you have people (friends, colleagues, satisfied clients) who can speak on your behalf? It may feel risky to ask the equivalent of “Will you vote for me?” but even if people say “No”, you can ask them what you might do differently to appeal to them more or realise that they’re not your main constituents. Either way, you’ll suddenly have a lot more information than you started with.
Canvassing has given me a better understanding of the diversity of our people and our country. William Bain, Labour
All the major parties press offices were contacted and asked to contribute. Those parties not represented in the article chose not to respond to this article.
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BUSINESS
THE
Self-employed support to blow your dress up!
BUSINESS BIDDIES By Caitlin Collins
W
hatever our views on the current talk of global crisis, whether climate warming or peak oil, most of us would acknowledge that the world is entering a time of accelerated change along with increasing political, social and economic uncertainty. Many people face the challenges of unemployment, while business owners big and small must keep up with rapidly changing markets. While NLPthinking encourages us to appreciate our resources and recognise our opportunities at all times, it’s even more essential if we want to stay afloat and waving when the water’s
My savings were dwindling along with my confidence getting choppy and there’s a risk of going under. When I moved to Exmoor recently, I was in for a big surprise. Having been happily self-employed with my own NLP personal development business in Sussex, coaching and running courses and workshops, I’d confidently assumed that I could simply continue offering the same services in Somerset. Finally succeeding in renting a cottage (despite a Greek chorus of gloomy letting agents muttering miserably, ‘You don’t have a job? Oh dear…’) and committing myself to vast sums of money pouring out of my savings account monthly, I found an office to work from, placed ads in the likely places and eagerly awaited the phone calls. Now it was my turn to say, ‘Oh dear…’ No calls. Not one. A tried and tested newspaper ad that in Sussex would have generated upwards of £500 of work was bringing in zilch in Zomerzet. What to do? My savings were dwindling along with my confidence, panic increasing along with the bills. It was time to apply some NLP coaching to myself. Prising my attention away from the magnetic pull of my problems wasn’t easy, but when I could do
38 | Spring 2010 - rapport
it, two key questions emerged: What’s going well? and: What resources do I have? The answers jumped out immediately, waving and cheering. I had friends! And not only was my new life in Somerset full of warm and welcoming people, but several of them were, like me, self-employed and either launching new businesses or revitalising existing ones. The birth of the Biddies A few phone calls resulted in four of us getting together: Sally the naturopathic doctor, Suzy the Pilates teacher, Pam the Bowen therapist and life coach, and me. And, as a group of women of a certain age, we decided to be not just business buddies but The Business Biddies. We quickly agreed that one of our biggest issues was isolation, not just geographically as one might expect in a rural area like Exmoor, but in the sense of doing everything singlehandedly: creating new ideas, marketing, planning, managing money, delivering the service or product, dealing with difficulties and celebrating successes, along with learning new skills and juggling work and family commitments. Having acknowledged that we were all finding it hard to maintain our motivation, focus and enthusiasm, we
identified that we wanted our meetings to provide a forum for: enthusiastic companionship; sharing our ups and downs; sounding out ideas; helping us set targets and meet deadlines; addressing specific problems; sharing resources, tips, contacts, and information; improving skills, including communication, managing emotions, goal-setting, planning, and problem solving. A couple of chats round Sally’s kitchen table enabled us to cook up a structured series of eight fortnightly meetings, each lasting around 2 hours. We distinguished two main functions of these meetings in terms of content and process. Content would be supplied by group
members sharing knowledge, research, resources, and information in specific areas including marketing, websites, e-commerce, bookkeeping, accounts, and financing. Process would include state management methods to boost confidence and enthusiasm; planning and goal setting;
BUSINESS
The theme was co-operation and collaboration The overarching theme that emerged was that of co-operation and collaboration. As a peer group, we didn’t have a leader, but shared the facilitation responsibilities. As a small group, the individual contribution of each one of us was particularly significant, so we all made the effort to attend every meeting.
communication skills; problem solving; and particular skills such as presentations, public speaking, and customer relations. A little experimentation led us to come up with a detailed outline for the series, each meeting to include social time, discussion, feedback from the previous meeting, practical exercises, and homework.
OUTLINE FOR THE EIGHT SESSIONS 1. Purpose, function and potential usefulness of the group; how to contribute to and benefit from the meetings; simple anchoring exercise for confidence; two-minute ‘what I do’ exercise; homework – a SWOT analysis. 2. Update and current issues; assessment exercise (neuro-logical levels for business); anchoring for state management (circle of excellence); homework individually specific. 3. Update and current issues; introduction to goalsetting and planning (Disney exercise); homework individually specific. 4. Update and current issues; more on goals – setting and achieving them – modelling, language, anchoring models; homework individually specific.
5. Update and current issues; motivational styles, problem solving – language, self-communication, collapsing negative anchors; homework individually specific. 6. Update and current issues; beliefs, attitudes, values and vision; homework individually specific. 7. Update and current issues; specific skills according to group needs; timelining for the future; homework individually specific. 8. Update and current issues; recap; assessment exercise to demonstrate progress; taking the group forward; future pacing.
What blows your dress up? What did we get out of our meetings? Pam put it like this: ‘I’ve rediscovered my creativity, inspiration and enthusiasm, and’ – recalling the iconic picture of Marilyn Monroe on that grate in New York – ‘the sheer pleasure of being with other like-minded people who care about me and appreciate what I can contribute just blows my dress up!’ What’s become of the Biddies since? Perhaps our biggest learning is expressed in the NLP axiom: If what you’re doing isn’t working – do something different. Sally has expanded her practice to include telephone consultations and a thriving e-commerce business of mail-order herbal medicines. Suzy’s new-found confidence has enabled her to sort out a bunch of bad payers she was scared of confronting; her Pilates classes are packed and there’s a waiting list of would-be students. Pam, after weathering the domestic storms of divorce and the loss of the family home, has transferred her coaching skills into a new career as drama teacher in a local school. As for me, I’ve reawakened my first career of working with horses, applied NLP to improve my horsemanship and teaching skills, and now specialise in horse-facilitated coaching. Mindful of the uncertain economy and precariousness of earning a living in a rural area, we’re all careful to maintain multiple income streams. We also understand the importance of nurturing our supportive networks and we continue to keep in touch. So that’s the tale of the Business Biddies. And now, what about you? Are you faced with the challenges of change and uncertainty in your own life? Self-employed and surfing the waves? Spotting the opportunities to celebrate your resources? Do you have business buddies? Could you be a business buddy for someone else? What would blow your dress up?
info@naturalmindmagic.com
rapport - Spring 2010
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RESEARCH
Research Revealed Current Research in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP): VOL. 1 or “Why isn’t NLP taken more seriously?” By Martin Weaver
O
A major goal of the Journal is to make NLP more accessible to those outside the world of NLP
n a cold January evening just passed, 40 people across a wide spectrum of NLP activity and even outside the NLP world gathered in a room in Portcullis House at the Houses of Parliament to greet the next big step in the development of NLP. We’d finally done it. Well, I say “we” and I say “it”, my part in this production was fairly small and came right at the end. Its a journey that began for me in 1999 collecting data, went via the University of Surrey then many hours of writing and re-writing and came to rest at the Houses of Parliament. For the first time in our history we had a peer reviewed research journal all about NLP. To give it a good send off into the world, we choose the centre of London and the seat of democracy. Our evening was given over to the major players whose vision, commitment, sense of purpose and positive leadership had resulted in the successful production of the NLP Research Journal. Karen Moxom set the opening scene like some murky political thriller. “We met in an underground café in Canary Wharf in 2007”. She set out the opening players; Charles Faulkner, Paul Tosey and herself. The outcome was very easy to state: Create a research journal for NLP, the strategy had much more detail. From cafe to International Conference in 2008 to published Journal in 2009 to launch in 2010 – “that is the power of NLP” she reminded us. She thanked Ann Keen MP who was our host for the evening and told us of all the work that had been undertaken over the past years and outlined the many people involved without whom the Journal would not have been brought into this world. Her final rationale for all this work was that “research underpins understanding” and that was her main message for the Journal.
40 | Spring 2010 - rapport
Dr. Paul Tosey set a more sombre scene. He reminded us that this Journal was but a first step. Important it undoubtedly is, there is much more to do. This Journal he said would “increase the quality of the enquiry”. Rigorous, discerning and critical were the qualities he said that NLP requires in the future. He said we should set ourselves the goal of enquiry above that of proof. A major goal of the Journal is to make NLP more accessible to those outside the world of NLP. This includes those at national policy level who are looking for joint working between academic and real world activity. Like any bridge between two worlds the Journal can help build traffic, trade and understanding to joint working. He ended by thanking all those involved and by pointing out that there is increased work in academia, more PhDs are being undertaken and that neuroscience, cognitive linguistics and consciousness studies are all showing support for NLP. This Journal will help make connections between these activists more effective and productive. “Did you know that the future is less than 200 years old and there is a hidden history of scientific breakthroughs?” Charles Faulkner does and that was the title of his presentation. He talked about the lucky accidents of Fleming with what became penicillin, of the “outsiders” like Freud and Darwin and their theories and discoveries. Sometimes it’s only when we look back, that we can see the paths of discovery that were created, he suggested. Further, we can only notice change when we have evidence to see and experience it. He said that it is only our generation (today) that has the firm idea that the future will be different from today. By calling on some 2000 years of history he linked our Journal to being on the brink of a paradigm shift like many other shifts; from
RESEARCH
Galileo to Newton, from the acceptance of “elements” to the creation of the periodic table. He noted that Bandler and Grinder were outsiders and not scientists, who were taking on a new perspective of the world. Bateson understood this shift in his introduction to “The Structure of Magic.”
Current Research in
It’s a rare occasion for there to be the launch of a new Journal in a new field of study This shift has helped NLP anticipate mirror neurons discovered in the 1990s. Damásio works on the importance of emotions to decision making. Eckmen’s studies state that physiology creates emotions and Seligman’s positive psychology to name a few. NLP is also playing a part in Social Neuroscience. “We are in the process of making history” he said. Working together and with people outside the field, the curious, the interested, “I can’t think of anything more exciting than doing that and letting you know that you are doing that. Congratulations on this Journal.” The final and spirited presentation came from Richard Churches. His presentation was called “So what?” We have the journal – so what? It’s a rare occasion for there to be the launch of a new journal in a new field of study, he said. He pointed out that not everyone likes new things and showed us that X-rays, cars, alternating current, the humble light bulb and home computers were all dismissed by quite eminent people at the time. In education, the existence of research journals is vital to keep the balance between innovation and evidence. NLP, he said “needs to move to the place where theories can be tested and then revised”. In the field of education there is a move to development and research. The Journal moves from just saying to proof and evidence. Business and Industry want both skills and understanding from their staff with the ability to work in teams and that’s what NLP can deliver. However, he agreed with a quote from The Times that some of NLP is common sense, that a lot is unproven and it’s not mainstream psychology. He reminded us that NLP has unique points that need to be made more clearly. NLP values first person experience and thus makes it unique and its use of language marks its out as different.
VOL. 1
Proceedings of 2008
Edited by Paul Tosey
Conference
ISBN 1-84469-019-
9
He ended by marking out some challenges; how to stop people going too far in their explanations of brain function, some of which have been overtaken by new research and the Journal will help those conceptual challenges. We need a balance between innovation and research. Some things may need to be rejected and lastly we need to accept that not everyone in NLP will be happy. We need the Journal to move on and to support us develop NLP. So that’s why we were there and that’s why so much work has been put into the Journal. Because of the Journal, every Member of Parliament knows about NLP and the ANLP because they were all invited to attend the launch. They are some of the influential people who will help take our NLP philosophy and practice so that it can be applied more widely across business, heath care, education, politics and more. As the Journal is read and quoted, so more and different people will hear about NLP and confidence in our work will grow. And maybe, as the Journal shows that we take our work seriously, so others will do so as well. Pace and lead, pace and lead, pace and lead.
The Journal is available as a PDF, or as a bound copy, and can be purchased from the dedicated research conference website, www.nlpresearchconference.com If you are a member of ANLP you can purchase the bound copy with 40% discount by contacting ANLP direct on 020 3051 6740 or emailing members@anlp.org www.anlp.org
rapport - Spring 2010
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TRAINING & WORKSHOPS
All you need is love,
RIGHT? WRONG! It takes a whole lot more to make a relationship work
Understanding, Acceptance, Challenge, Hope, Laughter and Tears – We hold a vision of the Highest Possibility for each and every person
I
t all started in 1994 pregnant and working full time my foolhardy husband Roger found this ‘thing’ called NLP which he was enthralled with. With the practitioner certification weekend coinciding with the due date of our baby I (Emily) was less enthralled to hear him say ‘but if I miss that weekend I won’t get my certificate’. Still married and working together, that initial love for NLP has altered the course of not only our lives, but literally 1000’s of others. Right from those initial steps we knew that
42 | Spring 2010 - rapport
we had found something special and we have – NLP is the best technology to make all types of relationships work and is the foundation of Evolution Training. Just like a virus we infect people with NLP and release them back into the world to fly Master Practitioner Above all we train people to be themselves, releasing their inner buzz; that love of life that conquers all and makes live worth living. In
doing that we have grown immeasurably “I hold a basket, an open and receptive space for clients to change and grow” Emily Terry “I take people to the heights they never dreamed of, opening up their awareness of themselves and the world around them” Roger Terry And then there are the ones which we
TRAINING & WORKSHOPS
As soon as you decide to start on the path of learning NLP, you set yourself apart from the usual rat run keep! The very best way of demonstrating who we are both as a company and as NLP trainers is to give you the story of one of our Master Practitioners; Katherine Bird our Sales Manager As soon as you decide to start on the path of learning NLP, you set yourself apart from the usual rat run. When you take the decision to look at the world in a different way and start to find the benefits that come to every part of your life, the only way is up! When I joined the Evolution Training NLP Diploma course I did not really know what to expect, just that what I was doing was not working, and it was time to do something else. Some things were going OK, but so many others were not as I would want them to be. Being given the option to find out more about NLP in only four days, and a small financial investment made it possible – the fact that it is an accredited course in its own right helped as well.
Above all we train people to be themselves, releasing their inner buzz The Diploma provides such a broad grounding and so many internal shifts and realisations about your map of the world, compared to everyone else – remember the first time you saw the NLP Communications model? The opening up of understanding of better ways of communicating with everyone around you immediately improves every
conversation and relationships. Key to my development was tools to improve my ability to motivate both myself and others. From struggling with injustices at work, I found the wealth of resources I truly had to support me in delivering to the highest levels, even under pressure! The revelation of consciously improving rapport, which so quickly becomes habit, changed my response to previously “difficult” people and produced almost miraculous results; focusing on my desired state, what I really wanted from a situation changed my approach from the very start. Life changed. I stepped forward. Once you experience the changes and improvements from your growth at home, at work, with friends, with family, you start to wonder what else? What next? How much further can I develop? And how can I use what I have learned to help others more directly? The logical step is to continue onto the NLP Practitioner course. The twelve days deepened, broadened, and cemented my learning and showed me more of the structure behind the techniques. The INLPTA course opens up the framework and uncovers how easy it can be to make the techniques my own and understand how and why they work. I kept finding new parts of my own processing – one huge part was discovering new language patterns to build understanding, agreement and influence; they still make me smile whenever I spot them used with elegance, and every time I see just how well they work. Exploring the structure of language and hearing how many ways there are to better
use our brains to communicate with panache gives new perspectives on relationships and how to absolutely get the most out of all of them! To finish off with the modelling of a karate board break gives an insight into where NLP came from, and the power of the tools – and replicating it is a physical analogy for the ability to smash through personal limitation to achieve greater and greater heights! I overcame so much, and climbed much higher. At the end of the Practitioner you have so many new tools, so many new options open to you that you may wonder what else there is to learn! For me, having such an experienced trainer gave me something to aspire to, and knowledge of what else can be achieved. Over the last six months I have had the pleasure of taking my NLP Master Practitioner. Developing the skills already learned, and so many more, to the stage where I know I am good enough to perform any of them with Mastery. If you think that you have cleared all, or even most of your limitations after the Diploma or Practitioner then think again. Working with Evolution Training's resident trainers and guests (who are able to give just the right words at the right time) send your confidence and ability skywards. One of the last things we did on the Master Practitioner was to give each other the feedback which is the most beautiful gift we could offer, my gift to you is this: Following through from NLP Diploma, through the Practitioner and Master Practitioner has enabled me to be the person I always wanted to be.
16 Years and 1000's of certificates later…Evolution as Evolved! Sign up for our blog and newsletters www.evolutiontraining.co.uk emily.terry@evolutiontraining.co.uk Quote ‘16 years’ for 10% off anything
rapport - Spring 2010
| 43
DIARY
DIARY OF EVENTS FOR SPRING/SUMMER 2010 April 2010 Relaxation & Meditation: Session 6 of 8 1/4/2010
Chesterfield- Derbyshire (S40) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 dianeoxborough@netscape.net
Intensive ABNLP 7 day NLP Practitioner Course 4/4/2010 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk
Picture This: Visualisation For Success 6/4/2010 Swindon Tony Nutley 0844 414 2507 info@ukcpd.net
INLPTA Practitioner Module 2 8/4/2010
Gloucestershire- Midlands- South West Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk
New Code NLP Practice Group 9/4/2010
Central London Peter Salisbury 0845 0522795 petersalisbury@mac.com
12 day Certified New Code NLP Practitioner (ITA) 9/4/2010
Central London Peter Salisbury 0845 0522795 petersalisbury@mac.com
The Winning Edge 10/4/2010
Swindon- Wiltshire Tony Nutley 0844 414 2507 info@ukcpd.net
Implementing Deep Change Work - Module 5 of the INLPTA Accredited Practitioner 10/4/2010
Isbourne Centre- Cheltenham Kim Phillips 01386 861916 kimmphillips@hotmail.com
NLP Master Practitioner course 10/4/2010
Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk
ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification11/4/2010
London Colette White 0800 0433 657 or from outside the UK call +44 (0)207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com
44 | Spring 2010 - rapport
NLP Highland Practice Group Inverness 13/4/2010 Inverness Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk
NLP Taster Day 14/4/2010
Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk
Introduction to NLP 14/4/2010
Plymouth Chris Menlove-Platt 07890 306896 chris@ledevelopment.co.uk
Voice of Influence 15/4/2010
Hammersmith- London Judy Apps 01306 886114 judy@voiceofinfluence.co.uk
Clean Language and Symbolic Modelling 15/4/2010
Bath Sally Vanson 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
INLPTA Master Practitioner Module 2 15/4/2010
Gloucestershire - Midlands - South West Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk
Licensed NLP Practitioner Training: Module 1 16/4/2010
Intensive NLP Practitioner Course - 7 days - ABNLP Certified 17/4/2010
Edinburgh Osmaan Sharif 0845 652 6123/0141 412 6123 info@abintrasolutions.com
Essential NLP Skills for Teaching - Training and Learning 17/4/2010 Inverness Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk
NLP Practitioner Course Manchester 18/4/2010
Manchester Kim Blackmore 01708 479766 kim.blackmore@indigoeagle.com
Certified Practitioner of NLP 20/4/2010
Reading - Berkshire Daryll Scott 0118 900 1529 daryll@mynoggin.co.uk
Relaxation & Meditation: Session 7 of 8 21/4/2010
Buxton - Derbyshire (SK17) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 dianeoxborough@netscape.net
NLP Diploma: Module 1 21/4/2010
London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com
NLP Sports Diploma: Module 1 21/4/2010
Birmingham Matt Caulfield 08453 626277 mail@mattcaulfield.co.uk
London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com
NLP and Business Trainer Certification 16/4/2010
NLP Business Diploma: Module 1 21/4/2010
Midlands UK Ralph Watson 0844 3572865 (UK) ralph@ralphwatson.com
London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com
Premier NLP Coach Training 16/4/2010
NLP Master Practitioner 21/4/2010
Birmingham Matt Caulfield 08453 626277 mail@mattcaulfield.co.uk
Basingstoke- Hampshire Linda Sykes +44 (0) 1256 469 023 info@axiom.uk.com
NLP Practitioner with leading International Trainer 16/4/2010
Relaxation & Meditation: Session 7 of 8 22/4/2010
Midlands Ralph Watson 0844 3572865 ralph@dynamic-communication. com
Chesterfield - Derbyshire (S40) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 dianeoxborough@netscape.net
NLP Master Practitioner: Module 1 22/4/2010
NLP Highland Practice Group Aberdeen 28/4/2010
Advanced Hypnosis training 23/4/2010
Coaching 29/4/2010
Exeter Chris Menlove-Platt 01392 876892 chris@ledevelopment.co.uk
Aberdeen Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk
York Philip Callaghan 01904 636 216 info@resourcefulchange.co.uk
Hamersmith- London Judy Apps 01306 886114 judy@voiceofinfluence.co.uk
Affordable NLP Practitioner Training in Birmingham 24/4/2010
Relaxation & Meditation: Session 8 of 8 29/4/2010
Birmingham Richard Pearce 0800 612 2598 richard@kochin.co.uk
Chesterfield- Derbyshire (S40) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 dianeoxborough@netscape.net
LAB (Language and Behaviour) Profile Practitioner 24/4/2010
May 2010
Edinburgh Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk
NLP Practice Group for Practitioners and above 24/4/2010
London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com
Certified Practitioner of NLP 26/4/2010 Reading - Berkshire Daryll Scott 0118 900 1529 daryll@mynoggin.co.uk
Advanced Personal Development II 26/4/2010
North East Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com
Managing for Healthy Minds 27/4/2010
Stirling - Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk
Essential NLP for Business Success 27/4/2010 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com
Relaxation & Meditation: Session 8 of 8 28/4/2010
Buxton - Derbyshire (SK17) Diane Oxborough 01298 72907 dianeoxborough@netscape.net
ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification 1/5/2010
Nottingham Colette White 0800 0433 657 or from outside the UK call +44 (0)207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com
INLPTA Diploma in NLP 5/5/2010
Staveley - Nr. Kendal Paul McGowran 1539822853 paul@lakelandpeopledevelopment. co.uk
Words that Change Minds - LAB Profile Practitioner Training 6/5/2010 London Robbie Steinhouse 44 (0) 207 428 7915 info@nlpschool.com
INLPTA Practitioner Module 3 6/5/2010 Gloucestershire- Midlands- South West Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk
Presenting Power 8/5/2010
York Philip Callaghan 01904 636 216 info@resourcefulchange.co.uk
The Achievement Accelerator - Focus on Wealth 8/5/2010
London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 news@performancepartnership. com
Integration Workshop Module 6 of the INLPTA Accredited Practitioner 8/5/2010
Isbourne Centre- Cheltenham Kim Phillips 01386 861916 kimmphillips@hotmail.com
NLP Practitioner Course London 9/5/2010
London Kim Blackmore 01708 479766 kim.blackmore@indigoeagle.com
GWiz Practitioner Certificate Weekday Modular 10/5/2010
Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com
Fast-track NLP Sports Practitioner (for existing Practitioners): Module 1 10/5/2010
London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com
Certificate in Coaching Supervision 11/5/2010
Bath Tracey McCulloch 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
NLP Highland Practice Group Inverness 11/5/2010
Inverness Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk
iWAM Certification 12/5/2010
Bath Tracey McCulloch 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
Certified NLP Practitioner module 1 with the authors of Brilliant NLP 12/5/2010 Oxford Pat Hutchinson 0870 762 1300 pat@quadrant1.com
Real Personal Effectiveness with the authors of Brilliant NLP 12/5/2010 Oxford Pat Hutchinson 0870 762 1300 pat@quadrant1.com
NLP Master Practitioner: Module 2 13/5/2010 Exeter Chris Menlove-Platt 01392 876892 chris@ledevelopment.co.uk
NLP Master Practitioner Intensive France 15/5/2010
France Sue Knight +441628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk
NLP Taster Day 15/5/2010
Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk
Coaching Skills for NLP’ers 15/5/2010
London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 news@performancepartnership. com
Setting and getting your Goals 18/5/2010
Stirling - Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk
Extended DISC Certification - Enhancing Individual Performance 18/5/2010 Bath Tracey McCulloch 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
Extended DISC Certification Enhancing Team Performance 19/5/2010
Bath Tracey McCulloch 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
NLP Practitioner 20/5/2010
Harpenden - Hertfordshire Phillippa Mole 01582 621373 info@freshaircoaching.co.uk
INLPTA Master Practitioner Module 3 20/5/2010
Gloucestershire - Midlands - South West Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk
NLP and Business Trainer Certification 21/5/2010
Midlands UK Ralph Watson 0844 3572865 (UK) ralph@ralphwatson.com
Provocative Therapy with Frank Farrelly & Nick Kemp 22/5/2010 Leeds Nick Kemp 01274 622994 info@nickkemp.com
Accelerated Presenting Magically 22/5/2010
The NLP Practitioner Certification 5/6/2010
NLP Master Practitioner course 22/5/2010
NLP Practitioner Course 5/6/2010
London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 news@performancepartnership. com
Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk
The Communication Path Step 1 25/5/2010
Stirling- Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk
NLP Highland Practice Group Aberdeen 26/5/2010 Aberdeen Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk
Advanced NLP Influence 29/5/2010
York Philip Callaghan 01904 636 216 info@resourcefulchange.co.uk
June 2010 Brain Friendly Learning for Trainers 1/6/2010 Hertfordshire UK Kimberley Hare 01923 262278 directors@kaizen-training.com
NLP Master Practitioner: Module 3 3/6/2010 Exeter Chris Menlove-Platt 01392 876892 chris@ledevelopment.co.uk
INLPTA Practitioner Module 4 (Final) 3/6/2010
Gloucestershire - Midlands- South West Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk
NLP Practitioner : Module 1 (INLPTA Certified) 4/6/2010
Stirling - Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk
NLP Introduction 5/6/2010
London John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymourassociates.co.uk
London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 news@performancepartnership. com
Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk
NLP Highland Practice Group Inverness 8/6/2010
Inverness Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk
ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification 13/6/2010
Fundamentals in Hypnotic Language Patterns 19/6/2010 North East Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com
Intensive ABNLP 7 day NLP Practitioner Course 20/6/2010
Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk
Advanced Practitioner 2010/11 21/6/2010
London Colette White 0800 0433 657 or from outside the UK call +44 (0)207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com
North East Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com
NLP Practitioner Course Manchester 13/6/2010
NLP Master Practitioner: Module 4 23/6/2010
Manchester Kim Blackmore 01708 479766 kim.blackmore@indigoeagle.com
Exeter Chris Menlove-Platt 01392 876892 chris@ledevelopment.co.uk
Presenting Effectively and Powerfully 15/6/2010
NLP Practitioner (INLPTA certified): Module 1 24/6/2010
Basingstoke - Hampshire Linda Sykes +44(0) 1256 469 023 info@axiom.uk.com
NLP Taster Day 16/6/2010
Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk
NLP Essential Skills course (Module 1- Practitioner training) 17/6/2010 Central London Robbie Steinhouse 44 (0)207 428 7915 info@nlpschool.com
INLPTA Master Practitioner Module 4 (Final) 17/6/2010
Gloucestershire - Midlands - South West Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk
The NLP Master Practitioner Certification Training 18/6/2010 London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 news@performancepartnership. com
Bristol Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk
NLP and Business Trainer Certification 25/6/2010 Midlands UK Ralph Watson 0844 3572865 (UK) ralph@ralphwatson.com
NLP Master Practitioner course 26/6/2010 Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk
NLP Practice Group for Practitioners and above 26/6/2010 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com
The art of a work life balance 30/6/2010
Stirling - Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk
To get your workshops and events listed in Rapport, log in as a member to www.anlp.org and enter your events into the online diary. Every issue, online events listed for the next 3 months will be included in Rapport. rapport - Spring 2010
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NLP for Education NLP for Teachers How to be a Highly Effective Teacher Richard Churches and Roger Terry This book covers a wide range of practical applications of NLP that will enhance your personal effectiveness and improve your classroom delivery. Learn how to adapt your language to alter the response you get, communicate in ways you never thought possible both inside and outside the classroom, build rapport and influence others, keep motivation on target, see issues from many different perspectives and use your new knowledge to plan and deliver an NLP training day. Invaluable for everyone working with learners be they teachers, subject leaders, phase leaders, senior managers, learning support assistants or Local Authority advisors. Also includes “Research Zones” that detail supporting research.
£19.99 isbn 978-184590063-2 available now
The NLP Toolkit For Teachers, Trainers and School Leaders Roger Terry and Richard Churches The NLP Toolkit is packed with easy to use tools, activities and techniques. Organised in an accessible way and grounded in teacher experience and practice, it provides a comprehensive toolkit that uses NLP techniques to improve all aspects of learning and teaching from using a simple spelling strategy to developing leadership skills. NLP is often described as ‘the technology of emotional intelligence’. The NLP Toolkit gives you practical ‘how to’ ways to develop you own emotional resilience as well as ways to work with children in the area of emotional and social skills. The five sections cover in the class activities, emotional and social literacy with children, stagecraft and presentation skills, personal development and effectiveness and leading with NLP.
£24.99 isbn 978-184590138-7 available now Roger Terry is an NLP trainer and runs a training business called Evolution Training www.evolutiontraining.co.uk. He has trained over 1,000 teachers to use NLP in the classroom. Richard Churches is Principal Consultant for National Programmes at CfBT Education Trust, the world leading education consultancy and investor in education research www.cfbt.com.
To order your copies now visit www.anglo-american.co.uk or contact us on 01267 211880
Special Announcement Anglo American Books takes over
the NLP conference 12th-14th Nov 2010
We at Anglo American Books are delighted to announce that we are taking over the NLP Conference. We will be working closely with Jo Hogg to organise this year's conference at the Britannia International Hotel, Docklands, London on 12th to 14th November 2010. We are hugely appreciative of the contribution Jo has made to the NLP community by developing the conference into a truly international event. For information on submitting a proposal or to register your interest as a delegate please contact us at the address below. During our 20 year association with the NLP community we have enjoyed working with many of you and we look forward to building our relationship further and also developing our links with the NLP training schools and organisations as we take the conference forward. For regular updates and news check out the conference website at
www.nlpconference.co.uk
Anglo American Books Crown Buildings, Bancyfelin, Carmarthen SA33 5ND Tel 01267 211880 Email books@anglo-american.co.uk www.anglo-american.co.uk
BOOK REVIEWS
RAPPORT BOOK REVIEW Understanding NLP: Strategies for Better Workplace Communication Without the Jargon Frances Kay and Neilson Kite £12.99, Kogan Page The aim of this book is to provide an overview of NLP, the philosophy and techniques, whilst de-mystifying the jargon that is usually associated with it. It also aims to discuss the application and benefits of using NLP in specific situations related to the workplace and wider life situations. The early section of the book looks at the building blocks of NLP, providing information on the background and development of it. Following this there is some discussion looking at the pre-suppositions or beliefs held in NLP. The authors provide some useful scenarios to demonstrate how these principles work. As the book develops, there are chapters related to how the mind/body links to behaviour
and the nature of rapport and elegant communication at all levels. The last section of the book focuses on how NLP can help in dealing with challenging situations. The book is intelligently written and deals with the philosophy and technicalities of NLP well, whilst balancing this with simple explanations to aid understanding of the material. The case studies, scenarios and vignettes involved are typical situations that individuals may face in their daily lives and the workplace in particular. This is a well written book and one that is a useful addition to the library of anyone familiar with, interested in, or generally wishing to find out more about NLP. Dr Rob Burton , Book Review Panel
Rapport Readers can purchase Understanding NLP, Strategies for Better Workplace Communication for £8.50 with free p&p. Call +44 (0)1903 828 503 and quote KPUNLP113.
rEvolution - How to Thrive in Crazy Times Bill Lucas £12.99, Crown House rEvolution is based around the concept that our reliance on technology has brought with it a new phase in human evolution. The pace of technological change has seen radical changes in our lives, and the pace of change continues to be increasing. The book is structured around nine rules. Each of these rules presents insight into a different area of adaptation, along with examples and exercises that help to get the point across. These rules are presented as a kind of toolkit for dealing with the changing environment that we find ourselves in. Personally I am not entirely convinced by the notion that our increasingly
technological society constitutes a new form of human evolution, however I did find the book to be informative and enjoyable. While not all of the material is particularly original I did find enough new (to me at any rate) ideas to keep me interested. Overall rEvolution is well written. The examples are clear, well thought out and support the author’s point. I particularly found the later chapters on collective thinking and the power of groups of people working together to be very interesting. All in all a good read, and plenty of food for thought. Dan Hedges, Book Review Panel
Creating Trance and Hypnosis Scripts Gemma Bailey £11.99, O Books Whilst the title of this book is Creating Trance and Hypnosis Scripts, the bulk of its content is actually ready-made scripts with a smaller section at the back giving advice on how to write your own. It is aimed at amateurs and professionals alike and the author has included a wide range of linguistic techniques to make the scripts more effective. They deal with a variety of issues, from weight loss, addictions and smoking cessation to self-development, fears and phobias, and bad habits. Each section includes a variety of more specific scripts, eg, in the SelfDevelopment section, topics such as organisation,
accepting happiness, and positive thinking for exams, are covered. Should you prefer to compose your own, then turn to the final section where there is guidance on what to use together with exercises to put it all into practice. NLPers will already be familiar with the techniques, such as nested loops, linguistic presuppositions, and the Dreamweaver Process. All in all, a useful addition to your bookcase, whether you are looking for a complete script, something to amend, or inspiration to write your own from scratch. Elaine Morrisroe, Book Review Panel
To join the Book Review Panel email members@anlp.org rapport - Spring 2010
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AUTHOR INTERVIEW
Mindy Gibbins-Klein
24 Carat Bold Interview by Eve Menezes Cunningham
M
indy Gibbins-Klein (aka, the Book Midwife and columnist for these pages) has been helping clients get their words into book form for years. In 24 Carat Bold, she shares her tips for becoming a recognised expert in your field. A “thought leader”. “The official definition says a real thought leader is someone who is recognised by their peers and mentors as having innovative ideas,” says Mindy. “I say it’s not just peers and mentors but clients. First you have to have the ideas, then you have to share them. You need to have the courage to share them.” Most of the research on thought leaders has been done in the US by universities but Mindy feels that thought leaders can be found outside academia. With publishing becoming so democratic and almost everyone being able to share their thoughts with sites like Twitter and their own blogs, it’s a matter of standing apart from peers. Although the book is about becoming a thought leader, Mindy says, “You must never call yourself one. It mustn’t become an ego trip. Someone else can bestow titles on you. It’s gone too far with the self promotion thing. Everything I do is about marketing but it’s got to be done in a way that builds rapport. Can you imagine someone telling you, ‘I’m a guru’?” Mindy says, “It’s a combination of reach and engagement. Real authority means you have something to say. People usually hold themselves back.” If you think you have something to say but don’t know where to begin (and don’t want to just add to the endless What I Had For Lunch comments), Mindy recommends putting yourself in different situations. Allow inspiration to strike. “Retreats are good. So are Master Mind Groups and personal development courses. We’re so good at doing ourselves down and killing our ideas before
48 | Spring 2010 - rapport
We are trained to think we have to be really unique but I think unique is really overrated
they have a chance; we need resources.” Mindy describes different types of fears that hold people back. “Who am I to have such an idea? Will they like my idea? i.e. will they like me? Is my idea important enough? We are trained to think we have to be really unique but I think unique is really overrated. Some people think they have plenty to say but get fearful that they have to be perfect in the way they write it.” She works with people to help them
uncover their own uniqueness without trying so hard. “You can’t help being unique but when you stress about it, forget it. People are looking to discover the ‘Best thing since sliced bread’ every day.” Mindy hopes her book will inspire readers to push themselves to be their best. “Society needs them to do that. Get past your fears, have ideas to share, have a plan and do it in a thoughtful, conscious way. It’s not about an ego trip. Society’s in a bit of a state and personally, I believe plenty of people are capable of transforming society. It’s about having ideas, sharing them and getting recognition. I want to inspire people to think a bit bigger and to consider sharing their best ideas with the people who need to hear them.” With all her experience helping others get into print, I’d assumed that Mindy had used those same skills with herself. Instead, she reached out for help. “It’s quite hard to coach yourself,” she says. “During the time I was writing the book, I had three coaches. A business coach, a health coach and a speaking coach. I believe we should always have a coach. Last year was a year of big energy for me. Lots of things were happening and I felt I needed to support that.” A lot of coaches know that coaching works but worry that they can’t afford their own coach. “You can’t afford not to have a coach,” says Mindy. “You’ll stay in that scarcity mentality. I tend to be isolated if I don’t force myself to network. Getting coaching has forced me to do more.” She asked her family to help when she found herself stuck with the title. “24 Carat Bold” nearly went to print as "The Standard for Real Thought Leaders,” Mindy laughs, “Subtitle, ‘What real thought leaders know’. My mother said, ‘You can’t let it go like that! It’s horrible!’ She was right but my deadline was the next day. I brainstormed with mum and my 13 year-old son, Bradley. He came up with the title.”
AUTHOR INTERVIEW
First you have to have the ideas, then you have to share them. You need to have the courage to share them PREPARE YOURSELF FOR GOOD THINKING “Any good thinking should be done when you’re well rested and well nourished,” says Mindy. “Carve out good time and space to be creative, for thinking and planning.” What helps you allow thoughts to emerge? Do you censor yourself thinking all thoughts have to be “good” or do you allow all sorts of thoughts space so you can then move forward with the best ones? Do you generally get enough sleep? If not, what changes can you start making today to help you be more creative? What about the foods and drinks you’re consuming? Are you drinking too much coffee or cola, running on empty and just giving yourself caffeine buzz after buzz? What foods and drinks would help support your creativity as well as your overall wellbeing? When was the last time you gave yourself the space to be creative? Do you have a space in your office that inspires you? Can you take yourself for a walk, at least once a day, and be inspired by nature or the city life around you? When have you had your best ideas in the past? In the bath? After practicing some yoga? While walking? Chatting to a friend or colleague? Keep pens and papers handy so you can remember these ideas easily. And put yourself in similar situations more frequently to coax out more ideas. You know yourself best. The things that help you feel nourished and rested are most likely to be different than your colleague, client, partner or friend. Trust your instincts and allow yourself thinking time.
SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS Now you’re having good thoughts on a regular basis, think about ways to share more of them. Do you speak up in meetings? Do you have a newsletter to share developments with your growing list of subscribers? Are you blogging? Do you make use of social networking sites such as Twitter? If you’re not yet sharing your thoughts, ask yourself what would help you feel more comfortable about doing so. It’s all about finding your own unique voice and allowing other people to hear it.
rapport - Spring 2010
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ANLP NEWS ACUITY: A NEW JOURNAL FOR THE ANLP
T
here is some exciting news on the horizon... the ANLP is introducing a new journal called Acuity which will sit in between Rapport magazine and the Current Research in NLP journal. Acuity will provide an opportunity for authors and innovators to advance the field of NLP in sharing their findings, learnings and developments. We recognise that there are a
growing collection of people in the NLP community who are writing excellent articles but do not have a vehicle to reach the audience they deserve. We would like to help these authors share their research and discoveries with the rest of the NLP community and so we are looking for well written and well referenced contributions to the journal. The aim of Acuity is to
promote stimulating developments in NLP: new models, techniques, applications, refinements and new perspectives to old themes. You may remember a quality journal called NLP World that ran from 1994 to 2001. Acuity is designed to carry on where NLP World left off. Acuity will be peer reviewed by an experienced panel, including Robert Dilts, Michael Hall, Tim Hallbom, John Seymour, Robert
Smith and Lisa Wake. It will be published three times a year as an ejournal (with a possible annual hard copy published on demand). The pdf journal will be available to ANLP members via the website. If you have any enquiries or have written an NLP related article that you would like published in Acuity, please email the editor Joe Cheal (joe@gwiztraining.com) for the contributor guidelines.
GLAXOSMITHKLINE AWARDS
L
ast November 5th ANLP Member and NLPt Supervisor Martin Weaver received a £5000 cheque from GlaxoSmithKline at their Brentford HQ on behalf of Bereavement Services for Hounslow (BSH) in London. He spoke about the work of BSH to a packed award ceremony. As part of the GlaxoSmithKline Local Health Awards £5000 was presented in appreciation of excellence in community healthcare that is provided by BSH. BSH offers much needed support and counselling for children and adults suffering from bereavement by providing access to trained volunteers and part-time counsellors. As a qualified and trained supervisor Martin brings practical neurolinguistic psychotherapy skills to help and ensure that the counsellors provide a quality service to the clients. BSH: www.bshonline.org.uk/ GSK: www.gsk.com/community/local-health-brentford.htm Martin Weaver: www.lifetidetraining.co.uk
SMARTDREAMERS
U
sing web videos can be one of the most effective ways of marketing the services you offer to potential clients. By attracting people to your website, you can promote your brand and your business in an attractive and appealing way, including improving your Search Engine Optimisation. Videos communicate your message clearly... creating an experience that words and images alone
could never do. A professionally produced, high quality video on your company website is an opportunity not to be missed, increasing brand awareness, sales enquiries and creativity to your website. As ANLP’s preferred supplier SmartDreamers productions offers the members of ANLP exclusive business packages that can help transform their online presence and build more business.
Package 1
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Promotional Video / £395 + VAT
Training Film / £695 + VAT
• Interview with Coach/Trainer
• Training Filming with 2 cameras for 1 day.
• Cutaways to office premises/service
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• Video Testimonials with clients
• Graphics of Powerpoint slides.
• Graphic Intro and strap lines
• Graphic Intro
• Music
• Music
• Converted to web video format of choice
• DVD Menu
• Hosting if required
• Converted to web video format of choice
Visit our website to see why the very best in NLP and personal development use our services. www.smartdreamers.com Quote “ANLP” to us to receive our exclusive package prices.
50 | Spring 2010 - rapport
ANLP GET THEIR RUNNING SHOES ON!
T
he ANLP Team will be donning their finest tracksuit and trainer combinations in The Race for Life this year! Karen, Kathryn, Nicola and Lala will all be running 5km to raise money for Cancer Research. To support ANLP and raise money for this fantastic charity, go to www. raceforlifesponsorme.org/anlp and make a donation. If you would like to come along to offer your vocal support to a bunch of NLPers in pink feather boas, the ANLP Team will be running on the 18th July, 11am in St Albans. If you would like to participate and would like more information about how to find your local event, go to www.raceforlife.org/ and join in the fun.
Martin Weaver
“I have sent many people to Martin, all of whom have had their lives changed as a result.” Jaci Stephen in the Daily Mail
Psychotherapy Supervision Coaching
Contributor Current Research in NLP: Volume 1, Proceedings from the 2008 Research Conference
020 8580 9712 07931 387551
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Tranceformations Personal & Business Excellence
Claire Louise Hegarty
Performance Coach, Breakthrough Therapist Trainer of NLP and Time Line Therapy™ and NLP Coach Trainer
Tel: 0151 678 3358 Tel: 01244 390 411 Mob: 07714 853 524
Email: info@tranceformations-pbe.com Website: www.tranceformations-pbe.com
Do you have problem relationships Suffer with ill health Wish you could stop smoking, lose weight or remove a phobia Have difficulty succeeding or achieving Often wish you could have a new life or totally change your own For support, assistance, motivation and coaching in any of these areas plus many more. Contact us now for a FREE CONSULTATION.
Free Report for Rapport Readers!
7 powerful ways to supercharge your success with weight and eating issues As an NLPer you already have a fantastic toolkit of techniques. Just imagine if you could achieve even more amazing results! Discover the critical factors of weight loss success in this free report. Download it at www.weightcoachingwithnlp.com But do it now because this free gift will be taken offline soon.
COACHES, TRAINERS, PRACTITIONERS – YOU’RE PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT YOU DO! WOULDN’T IT BE GREAT TO TAKE IT FURTHER OUT INTO THE WORLD?
WOULD YOU LIKE TO WRITE EFFECTIVE ARTICLES, WEBSITE COPY, BOOKS?
Special discounts to ANLP members!
• Let the Rapport editorial team help you get your message out to a wider public. • We offer professional editing, copy-writing and ghost-writing, and can help with preparing your course manuals and promotional materials to the highest standards. • We can also coach you in your writing and help you to publish your work. Caitlin Collins: cait@globalnet.co.uk 0845 456 1182 / Andy Coote: andy.coote@gmail.com 07949 813784 Eve Menezes Cunningham: www.evemenezescunningham.co.uk 01277 632085
HAVE YOU GOT A STORY TO TELL? • Have you had success applying your NLP? • Would you like your article to be published? If the answer is YES, we want to hear from you.
Please email your ideas to: members@anlp.org
CALLING ALL RAPPORT READERS
REGIONAL GROUPS
RAPPORT NETWORKING CONTACT Practice Group of the month: Bristol North Practice Group THE GROUP was formed five years ago with eight people studying for their Practitioner Certificate with John Seymour Associates. John encourages everyone studying NLP with him to support their training with regular practice. The group thrived and continued as many members went on to Master Practitioner and beyond. There are
now three members of the original group plus twenty more new names on the mailing list. The group is varied in skills from Trainer level to some just starting after an introduction course and we are now meeting fortnightly in each others houses. The mix works well and new members are welcome. Anyone can propose format or content.
Each evening usually starts sharing NLP experiences. The practice varies from large group work using Salad cards and other games developing sensory acuity for example, individuals doing presentations to the whole group, and one to one work in.
David Griffiths - david@metamorphosis.me.uk - 01179 423 310
England - North Harrogate Achievers Club Sonia Marie Saxton Tel: 0845 257 0036 Email: smesaxton@saxtonpartners.co.uk Harrogate Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard T: 01326 212 959 E: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com Lancs - Nr Clitheroe Dawn Haworth T: 01254 824 504 E: admin@nlpand.co.uk www.nlpand.co.uk Leeds - West Yorkshire Liz Tolchard T: 01943 873 895 M: 07909 911 769 E: liztolchard@live.com Manchester Business NLP and Emotional Intelligence Group Andy Smith T: 0845 83 855 83 E: andy@practicaleq.com www.manchesternlp.co.uk Manchester NLP Group Gary Plunkett T: 08707 570292 E: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk E: nwnlpgroups@aol.com Manchester, Stockport, High Peak Sandie Shaw or Chris Delaney T: 07985 284 914 E: nlppracticegroup@googlemail.com Newcastle Upon Tyne Philip Brown T: 0191 456 3930 M: 0777 228 1035 North Yorkshire Alan Johnson T: 01609 778 543 www.nlpnorthallerton.co.uk North Yorkshire Practice Group Rebecca Wake T: 01642 714702 E: rebecca@awakenconsulting.co.uk www.awakenconsulting.co.uk North West & North Wales (Chester) Gary Plunkett T: 08707 570 292 E: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk E: nlp4fun@aol.com
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Warrington Tiffany Kay T: 0845 833 8831 E: tiffany@go-beyond-nlp.co.uk www.WarringtonNLP.co.uk York Philip Callaghan T: 01904 636 216 E: info@bronze-dragon.com www.bronze-dragon.com/nlp_group.shtml
England - South Bedfordshire Melody and Joe Cheal T: 01767 640956 E: info@gwiztrainig.com www.gwiztraining.com Berkshire NLP Group Balbir Chagger M: 07944 931 437 E: berkshirenlpgroup@googlemail.com www.lifestorytherapeuticcentre.com/NLP. aspx Croydon Michael Carroll T: 020 8686 9952 E: info@realnlp.co.uk www.nlpacademy.co.uk Hants - NLP South Nigel Heath T: 01794 390 651 E: heatherapy@aol.com www.nlp-south.org.uk Hertfordshire ANLP International CIC Practice Group Karen or Lala T: 020 3051 6740 E: Members@anlp.org www.anlp.org Hertfordshire - Letchwoth James Rolph T: 01462 674411 E: james@resource-ecologies.co.uk Kent & East Sussex NLP Group Beverley Hamilton T: 01892 511231 E: beverley.hamilton@uwclub.net London - Hampstead Najma Zaman T: 020 8926 1297 m: 07950477318 E: firstpath@btinternet.com
London - Central PPD Learning Judith Lowe T: 0870 7744 321 E: info@ppdlearning.co.uk www.ppdlearning.co.uk/community/ our-practice-group
London West - Richmond NLP Group Henrietta Laitt T: 0208 874 8203 M: 07880 614 040 E: henrietta@richmondnlpgroup.org.uk www.richmondnlpgroup.org.uk
London - Central Adrian Hope-Lewis T: 07970 639552 M: 07970 639552 www.nlpgroup.freeserve.co.uk
North London NLP Tom MacKay T: 07815 879 055 E: tom@mackaysolutions.co.uk www.northlondonnlp.co.uk
London - Central (Business) Mark Underwood T: 020 7249 7472
Oxford Nick King M: 0780 253 4150 E: info@oxfordnlpgroup.org.uk www.oxfordnlpgroup.org.uk
London (Central) Robert Ford T: 08453 962842 M: 07976 715234 E: livinglifenlp@orange.net London - Central/North Practitioners and above only Jeremy Lazarus T: 020 8349 2929 E: Jeremy@thelazarus.com www.thelazarus.com London The Performance Partnership David Shephard T: 020 8992 9523 E: info@performancepartnership.com www.performancepartnership.com London East - Stratford, E15 Sharon Eden T: 020 8597 9200 E: sharon.eden@womenofcourage.co.uk London - Ladbroke Grove Nina Madden 07906 255 529 E: mail@ninamadden.com www.ninamadden.com London NLP & Hypnosis Practice Group Phillip Holt T: 08451 306213 M: 07061 003 003 E: enquiries@nlp-london.com www.nlp-london.com London NW - SeeHearFeel NLP Rob T: 020 8958 5345 www.SeeHearFeelNLP.co.uk/
Sandwich, Kent Lindsey Agness or Zoe Young T: (Lindsey) 01304 621735 M:(Lindsey) 07711 036 192 M: (Zoe) 07932 371 164 E: zoej66@btinternet.com South East London & City Simon Hedley T: 07930 275 223 E: londonpractice@psithinking.co.uk www.psithinking.co.uk/londonnlp practicegroup.htm www.nlpswap.com/ Sussex - Brighton Association of NLP Practitioners Terry Elston T: 0800 074 6425 E: enquiries@nlpworld.co.uk www.nlpworld.co.uk www.nlp-brighton-assoc.org Sussex - Brighton NLP Group Sue Pullen T: 01273 508100 M: 07739 836236 E: suepullen@btconnect.com www.brightonnlpgroup.com Sussex - Chichester Roger and Emily Terry T: 01243 792 122 M: 07810 876 210 E: info@evolutiontraining.co.uk www.evolutiontraining.co.uk Sussex - Worthing E: jim@espconsultancy.co.uk West Sussex - Chichester Andrew T. Austin E: andrew@23nlpeople.com www.nlpstudygroup.com
England - East Cambridgeshire Phil Jones T: 07711 711 123 E: phil@excitant.co.uk www.cambsnlp.co.uk Colchester NLP Group Julian Campbell T: 01473 410521 M: 07710 781782 E: nlp@lifechangingtherapies.co.uk www.lifechangingtherapies.co.uk/colnlp. html Essex - Southend Pauline Oliver T: 01702 203465 Norfolk NLP Practice Group Stephen Ferrey T: 01603 211 961 E: info@motivational-coaching.co.uk www.motivational-coaching.co.uk Ipswich Steve Marsden T: 07889 751578 E: steve_marsden@btopenworld.com Redbridge - Ilford Glenda Yearwood T: 0208 708 3876 E: glenda.yearwood@redbridge.gov.uk www.redbridge.gov.uk England - West Bath NLP North East Somerset Philippe Roy T: 01225 404 050 E: pr@in-focus.org www.bathnlp.co.uk Bath NLP Skills Builder Ben Reeve T: 01823 334 080 E: benjamino_32@hotmail.com www.idevelop.co.uk Bournemouth John Chisholm and Michelle Fischer T: 01202 424250 E:info@creative-leadership.co.uk Bristol David Griffiths T: 01179 423 310 E: david@metamorphosis.me.uk Cornwall Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard T: 01326 212 959 E: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com
Cornwall (West) Robert Ford T: 08453 962842 M: 07976 715234 E: livinglifenlp@orange.net Devon NLP Practice Group Jane Stubberfield T: 01392 841153 M: 07887 744299 E: jane@jsa-development.co.uk www.jsa-development.co.uk Devon - South-West (totnes) NLP Support Group Alice Llewellyn & Anna Scott-Heyward T: 01803 866706/01803 323885 Devon - Torquay Chris Williams T: 0781 354 9073 Devon & Cornwall NLP Practice Group Nick Evans T: 01392 811 772 M: 07832 357 208 E: nick@nlp-southwest.co.uk www.nlp-southwest.co.uk/ WordPress/?p=72# more-72 Dorset John Chisholm or Brian Morton T: 01202 42 42 50 E: john@creative-leadership.co.uk E: bmhrd@btinternet.com www.nlpdorset.co.uk Swindon, West Country Tony Nutley T:01793 554834 E: info@ukcpd.net www.ukcpd.net West Somerset Caitlin Collins T: 01643 841310 E: info@naturalmindmagic.com Worcestershire and Gloucestershire Practice Group Kim Phillips T: 01386 861916 E: kimmphillips@hotmail.com
England - Midlands Birmingham (flexible locations and to suit members) Mandy Ward T: 0121 625 7193 M: 07740 075669 E: mandy.ward3@virgin.net www.cassykindly.co.uk
The Derby NLP Practice Group Karl Walkinshaw T: 07971 654 440 E: karl@k-d-w.co.uk East Midlands NLP Group Rupert Meese T: 0115 8226302 E: rupert.meese@lightmind.co.uk www.lightmind.co.uk/EMNLP Northants - Northampton Ron Sheffield T: 01604 812800 E: ron.sheffield@btinternet.com www.nlpgroups.org Nottingham - West Bridgford Karen Shaw T: 01159 818 228 E: karen@innercommunications.com www.innercommunications.com Walsall/Birmingham Richard Pearce T: 07760 175589 E: richard@kochin.co.uk West Midlands - Worcestershire Jennie Barnes T:0886 884 022 E: jennie@barnes1835.fsbusiness.co.uk
Scotland Aberdeen Rosie O’Hara M: 07796 134081 E: info@nlphighland.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk Edinburgh Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence T: 0131 664 7854 E: msnlp@btconnect.com Edinburgh NLP Practice Group Patrick Wheatley & Sheena Wheatley T: 0131 664 4344 M: 07765244030/ E: wheatley.co@btconnect.com E: sheena@changingperceptions.org.uk www.changingperceptions.org.uk
Glasgow Mina McGuigan T: 01236 610 949 M: 07886859942 E: mina.mcguigan@googlemail.com www.nlpacademyscotland.co.uk Glasgow Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence T: 01316 647 854 M: 07710 332 841 E: msnlp@btconnect.com Glasgow - NLP in Education Jeff Goodwin T: 0870 060 1549/0141 248 6484 E: jeff@nlpscotland.com www.nlpscotland.com Inverness - (Highland) Rosie O’Hara T: 01309 676004 E: info@nlphighland.co.uk, www.nlphighland.co.uk
Wales Cardiff James Angove E: angove@ntlworld.com www.cardiffnlp.co.uk Shropshire & Mid Wales Practice Group Nick Greer T: 01743 361133 E: nlpgroup@nickgreer.com www.nickgreer.com
International Brussels, Belgium Gerard Murray T: +32 476 417 606 E: gerry.murray@widecircle.eu www.meetup.com/NLP-in-Brussels/ Chicago, USA B Groth T:(312) 751-2600 E: vakog@live.com www.meetup.com/NLP-Chicago
Forres/Elgin NLP Practice Group (North of Scotland) Rosie O’ Hara T: 01309 676004 E: info@nlphighland.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk
Practice Groups meet regularly and give you the chance to share experiences with like minded individuals and fellow professionals. They also offer you the opportunity to further your knowledge and add to your Continual Professional Development (CPD) through informed lectures and workshops. For further information on the Practice Groups listed, please log on to our website, www.anlp.org If you would like to add your Practice Group to this list or change existing details, please contact Lala on 020 3051 6740 or email members@anlp.org rapport - Spring 2010
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ENDNOTE
Verbal Abuse tricks and tactics By Terri Ann Laws
I
have been studying the tricks and tactics of argument and how abusive people manage to win every argument and get what they want at other’s expense, and keep their loved ones or employees on their knees. I have found the study fascinating, and I think the whole world should become aware of these tricks and tactics so we never again fall prey to them. How to verbally abuse your opponent (or employee or spouse or child or anyone) 1. Make sure you keep asking questions. The one asking the questions is always the one in control. The one answering questions is always on the losing side. 2. If your opponent asks questions, attack the questions or attack your opponent’s intelligence for asking such a stupid or obvious or irrelevant question. Don’t answer the question. 3. Second choice if your opponent asks questions is to ask for his/her motive behind asking the question, and then attack the motive. Don’t answer the question. 4. Raise your voice and be confrontational 5. Make strong eye contact, breathe deeply from high in the chest and dominate with your presence 6. Make personal remarks instead of remarks relevant to the issue 7. Attack your opponent’s personality and character with direct insults 8. Use bogus proof to back up your character attacks and insults. Remember, bulldust baffles brains. The less logical a statement is, the less able your opponent is to question it. 9. Feign surprise and subtly attack or undermine your opponents personality and character by implication or presupposition (I’m so surprised, I thought someone of your age/skills/experience/etc.. would.....) 10. Attack the analogy, not the point it explains. If you succeed at
disproving the analogy it assumes the point disproved too. 11. Bring up the past, even if totally irrelevant to current issue. This is a good diversion trick, a good bogus proof trick, and a good trick to make opponent defensive or emotionally unresourceful (hurt, angry, guilty or afraid). 12. Link past negatives to current issue by complex equivalence. For example, you did X in the past and that means Y now. It only has to be vaguely plausible; it does not have to make sense or be true or logical. 13. Use universal quantifiers such as ‘always, never, everyone, every time’ even if in fact there is only one example or one person or one instance. 14. Use obscure analogies and clichés that sound clever to make your opponent feel inferior or stupid for not knowing the cliché / analogy, or not understanding it. 15. Pretend to be stupid and get your opponent to re-explain over and over again in different ways till he/she gives up and drops that point in frustration or exasperation. 16. Use same ‘pretend to be stupid’ tactic but listen carefully for a statement that you can use against your opponent later …”You even said yourself just a few minutes ago…..” 17. Talk utter rubbish that makes no sense what so ever, and when your opponent is completely confused, accuse him/her of being stupid“... You are not very bright. What part are you unable to understand? Any fool could understand this.” 18. Hammer your opponent with stupid irrelevant questions pretending to be asking for exact proof or exact clarification. This is especially useful if your opponent’s point is damaging to your case, hammer the point with fervour in your questions. 19. Use the same tactic as above, but for specifically getting your opponent to admit to something not true due to his/her confusion in trying to answer the questions. 20. Use tactical questioning in a
‘round about way’ to guide your opponent unawares into making your point for you. 21. Cause your opponent to feel emotionally unresourceful by making him/her feel guilty or angry or hurt or afraid. For guilt, use your opponent’s values. See point 23 below. 22. Having succeeded at point above, you can then accuse your opponent of being emotionally unstable or emotionally immature. You can then insist he/she behaves in a more adult way. This elevates you and diminishes your opponent. 23. Use your opponent’s values against him/her and link those values to the issue. You can do this with positives or negatives. Negative examples are: “You said helping people was very important to you, but now you resign! Do you or don’t you want to help people?” “You committed yourself, everyone is relying on you, and now you are leaving. How can you break your commitments to people who are relying on you?” Positive examples are: “I know how much you hate greed and selfish money grabbing.” “I know you would never hurt anyone’s feelings.” 24. Play good cop / bad cop by changing from cruel to kind. E.g. Once you’ve made your opponent hurt or cry, comfort him/her lovingly and say reassuring words. Chalk up this loving experience to use later to prove your goodness and his/her badness next time when you fake hurt and he/she doesn’t comfort you. 25. Lie and then demand from your opponent, “Are you calling me a liar?” 26. Accuse your opponent of lying when you know he/she is telling the truth. This is a great way to make your opponent emotionally unresourceful. 27. Steal the credit for any good point your opponent makes, “That’s exactly what I have been trying to tell you!” “I always say that.” 28. Be artfully vague and non specific. Instead of stating what you are talking about, use words such as - things, it, they, people
and other abstract nouns, and generalised unspecified nouns and verbs. These kinds of words have many meanings, all non specific. You can then deny any statement you made later by saying that’s not what you meant. 29. Very nasty trick, Emotional Blackmail – if you know what will cause your opponent great hurt, loss, fear, shame, humiliation or embarrassment, threaten in a subtle way to cause or allow his/ her worst fears to come to pass. You can also imply blackmail in the negative such as… “I would never, ever tell people that you….” (PS, Many parents use emotional blackmail direct or indirect to great effect to cripple their children’s confidence and self esteem so the kids become undemanding, compliant and easy to bring up). 30. Derail your opponent by becoming extremely emotional. Practice in advance so you can be convincing and appear congruent. First make sure your opponent is the responding type before doing this, because if you get it wrong it can work against you. Test with small displays of hurt or anger or fear and see how your opponent handles it. For a timid opponent, display massive loud anger. For a nurturing or caring opponent display heartbroken hurt or become terrified/desperate. Accuse your opponent of causing your terrible state. The correct way to communicate is to do none of the above, but instead to listen carefully with every intent to understand and no intent to reply. Have courage and consideration – the consideration to listen and the courage to say what you really think and feel. Both sides should have equal air time and interrupting is not allowed. You need a balance between courage and consideration and a genuine desire to create a situation where both are right and both win. Sometimes when both cannot have what they want, then a fair compromise is reached with equal gains for both.
If you would like to learn how to communicate in a polite and civilised way without losing, and how to create win/win agreements that are mutually beneficial and mutually rewarding for happy harmonious relationships, just send an email to terriannlaws@gmail.com Terri Ann Laws, Int. Master Trainer of NLP, Mind Power, Therapy and Life Coaching
54 | Spring 2010 - rapport
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