Rapport 7 - Spring 2007

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ISSUE SEVEN

Paula Radcliffe Achieve your goals with the UK’s leading marathon runner

Feng Shui and NLP - A natural blend

Education

Classroom management with NLP

The Secret Is it really a secret? THE MAGAZINE FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

SPRING 2007


No matter what is going on in your life right now, no matter what you have gone through in your past, it is possible for you to…

FEEL HAPPY NOW! A one-day seminar with

MICHAEL NEILL Presented by Hay House Publishers ‘Michael Neill is the finest success coach in the world today.’ PAUL MCKENNA In his bestseller You Can Have What You Want, success coach Michael Neill revealed the practical benefits of cultivating inner happiness and creating tangible real-world success. Join him for this fun and practical one-day seminar where he reveals the ‘how’ of happiness. Whether you are in search of a quick pick-me-up or a lasting change, Michael will provide you with everything you need to put the power of happiness to work in your own life. You will leave lighter, happier, and able to take effective action in the world from a place of comfort, ease and well-being! Michael is an internationally-renowned success coach and radio show host. He is a licensed master trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and has written hundreds of articles in the areas of health, happiness, well-being, money, relationships, and spirituality. His weekly coaching column is syndicated in newspapers and magazines worldwide and can be read on his website at www.geniuscatalyst.com. His newest book, Feel Happy Now!, will be released by Hay House in May 2007.

Saturday 28th April 2007 The Jeffrey Hall Institute of Education 20 Bedford Way London WC1H OAL Ticket price: £75

All tickets available from Hay House Publishers by calling

020 8962 1230 All major credit cards accepted. Tickets are non-refundable and non-exchangeable.

www.hayhouse.co.uk


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spring 2007

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6 DEBATE Is The Secret really a secret?

8 WHAT’S NEW The latest news

Welcome to the Spring Issue of Rapport, the magazine for personal development. At this time of year it is so great to see new beginnings with the daffodils in bloom heralding the end to winter. However it is also a fresh start for Rapport with a new editorial team working together to bring you a magazine covering all aspects of personal development, both for our readers who are already working within this area, and also for those who may have a personal interest. Have you seen “The Secret” or perhaps read about it? Some of us in the Rapport office have and we have our own opinions, so for this issue our Debate panel discusses whether “The Secret” is really a secret? For many, a goal for 2007 would have been to lead a healthier lifestyle including making healthy food choices. However what happens when our emotions get in the way and that chocolate bar is calling? Read this issue’s health article on how you can “Lighten Your Load with NLP”. You will find a couple of new sections within Rapport, including our International section, which this issue looks at how Ralph Watson is rebuilding the reputation of NLP in Turkey. We will also be focusing on Training Schools and Workshops on a regular basis giving you a reflection on a particular course or training school from a delegate’s point of view. For this issue we feature David Shephard and the team at Performance Partnership. Finally, here at Rapport we are always keen to hear your feedback and comments about both the magazine and its articles, and also anything you feel that is happening in the self development world that may affect our readers. So we have re-instated our Letters page which gives you the opportunity to tell us what you think. We will let you go and enjoy the rest of the magazine now. Until next time.....

Rapport Editorial Team

12 NLP NEWS

22

What’s happening in the NLP community

30 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT Branding

40 DIARY The next 3 month’s events

43 BOOK REVIEWS The latest books and an invitation

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44 AUTHOR INTERVIEW Octavius Black and The Mind Gym

48 REGIONAL GROUPS NLP in Edinburgh

50 ENDNOTE Non-consensual Coaching

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34

Features 10 NLP

22 CELEBRITY

La Rue Eppler reaches deeper wisdom

Paula Radcliffe talks about marathon goal setting

14 INTERNATIONAL

24 BUSINESS

34 BUSINESS

Rebuilding the reputation of NLP in Turkey

Research indications into NLP Training

Sonia Saxton on executive coaching

18 EDUCATION

25 PROFESSIONAL

38 TRAINING

Classroom management skills with NLP

The New Look ANLP website

The Performance Partnership

20 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Strategies for year round health and fitness

26 NLP APPLICATIONS Blending NLP with Feng Shui

26 HEALTH

The End of the Incompetency Attack Editorial Team: Caitlin Collins, Andy Coote, Joanna Goodman, Eve Menezes Cunningham, William Little, Mandy Smith Team@rapportmag.com, 0845 053 1162 Art Editor: Enzo Zanelli Advertising: David Hammond david@rapportmag.com, 0845 053 1189 Membership, subscriptions and back issues: Lala Ali Khan Members@anlp.org, 0845 053 1162

Publisher: Karen Moxom karen@rapportmag.com, 0845 053 1162 Company Reg No. 05390486 Phoenix Publishing Ltd PO Box 3357, EN5 9AJ Rapport published by Phoenix Publishing on behalf of ANLP. Printed in the UK Design: Square Eye Design

DISCLAIMER The views within this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, nor does the publisher endorse the products or services promoted in the magazine. Articles are for information only and intent is to inform. Readers should seek professional advice before adopting any suggestions or purchasing any products herein.

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LETTERS

Send your letters to: The Editor, Rapport Magazine, PO Box 3357, Barnet, EN5 9AJ or email letters@rapportmag.com

Dear Rapport My daughter is dyslexic and your article in the autumn issue about integrating NLP techniques into the education strategies really struck a chord with me. Currently she is struggling with the school system, the label of being slow is getting her down and I do feel that the “one size fits all” attitude of the teachers are not doing her justice. I really wish she had access to teachers and classroom assistants who were emotionally sensitive and willing to look at the individual like Cher Price does. Reading articles like Cher’s, where teachers are encouraged to meet the child half way and actually use their learning methods to improve the experience and effectiveness of education, is great, and highlights the importance of getting people trained in the art of communication into the places where it is needed the most. L.K, London

Dear Rapport I’ve really enjoyed reading about

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such a wide range of uses for NLP. From the police to NHS as well as private business and getting over trauma, each issue’s sparked off several ideas for my own practice and I look forward to reading the next issue soon. I love the variety in the magazine - keep it up! E.C, Essex

Dear Rapport I very much enjoyed reading about Sharon Eden’s Women of Courage programme, featured in the last issue of Rapport. Having had to deal with my own personal issues over the years, although not perhaps as traumatic as Sharon, I felt empowered by how Sharon had taken these life experiences, a long with her training in CBT and NLP to develop a successful business which has enabled Sharon to help women of all ages to achieve their goals. Sharon’s passion and gusto in all that she does was very apparent from the article and so I am definitely going to use some of the techniques mentioned and

I have already signed up for Sharon’s next event. Thank you Rapport! A.J, Hertfordshire

Dear Rapport I found your debate on Pro Bono Coaching (Winter 2006) really interesting. Zoe Windsor claims that most pro bono coaching doesn’t work because 90% of coaches are offering it through lack of confidence and a fear of charging. I am sure that, in some instances, that may be the case, and I am wondering how many coaches find it quite a challenge to balance being altruistic, ie ‘helping others’ with ‘being paid’. Many coaches get drawn to coaching because they have a desire to help other people. However, ‘helping others’ is often perceived to be what ‘charitable’ people do in a voluntary capacity. Perhaps it is time that coaches and NLP practitioners reframe their view of themselves, and start to value themselves as professionals

in their field, who offer their services to help with challenges in one’s life; in just the same way as a lawyer helps with legal challenges, an accountant helps with tax challenges and a doctor helps with health challenges!!! M.L, Oxford

LETTER OF THE ISSUE

Send your letter to Rapport for a chance to win a copy of “Niche Marketing for Coaches” (see book reviews on page 43).


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DEBATE

Is ‘The Secret’ really a secret? It has the power to inspire and to create powerful opposition. Andy Coote asks if there is a real secret here, or just well-packaged but well-known principles? he film ‘The Secret’ (see box) has been spreading across the internet leaving behind it a trail of believers and sceptics. Rapport takes a look at the subject through the views of four people who are actively involved with NLP as Practitioners or Trainers. Each interview began with the same question - “Is it possible to control our performance and success simply through attracting them towards us (as in “The Secret”) or is there still a need to work towards our goals using other approaches and tools as well?” “From my spiritual training,” comments Lisa Turner, “I believe in the idea that we are 100% creators of our own universe. Not just influencers but creators. This is a model that I find helps when I work with clients. It is neither

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believe may never see its effects. If you act as if it is true then it will be your reality but results will come only if you take action.” Diane Corriette finds that “you can’t control this process. Control is an illusion. It works best for me when I treat it as a bit of a joke, ask for something I need and then forget about it. If you ask and wait, then it never seems to arrive. It isn’t something that happens in the conscious mind. The more you focus on it, the less it happens. Michael Beale, is more pragmatic. “For me, the Law of Attraction actually works through much more boring mechanisms. Our behaviours and attitudes naturally attract things towards us. Mental rehearsal is a very good way of preparing for future events. We reduce

I do believe that there is a “ strong power or energy out there that will support our every need ” true, not is it a lie. It is simply a model. I find that it can give intimate control of your life allowing you to manifest or heal anything in your life.” “The idea that you get what you focus on has a major impact here”, adds Christine Clacey. “Those who believe in the Law of Attraction often find it works for them. Those who don’t

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our fears and uncertainty and we extend our comfort zone so that when the actual event arrives, we appear much more comfortable and our confidence achieves better results for us”. Confidence is just one element as far as Lisa Turner is concerned. Energy is another. “You can have as much money, for example, as you believe you are worth. If you have problems

with self worth, money may appear in your life - for example through a lottery win - and you may be doing all the right things to get it, but unless your life force energy is sufficient to maintain it, the money will not stay and you will return to the previous level.” From a spiritual perspective, Lisa believes that “Everything you experience is a projection of the unconscious mind. If you can understand why the unconscious mind is creating situations that look like problems, you can begin to make changes. NLP techniques are very good at helping the practitioner to work with the client’s unconscious mind”. Michael Beale believes that our own reality is only a part of the mix. “Having great thoughts about the future is fine but they may actually be counterproductive. You may sit there waiting for the future to happen and chances may go past you as you wait. We have to be aware of other people’s realities as well as our own. If we don’t we may find that we are increasingly isolated. What we experience comes from outside sources, our imagination and our memory as well as our unconscious. We filter everything and it might be said that the unconscious is just another filter.” He quotes John Grinder on beliefs, “It may be better not to have beliefs at all, as beliefs are filters and filters stop what’s coming in from the outside world.” Some critics highlight the idea, expressed in the film, that we attract both good and bad things towards us. Christine Clacey agrees that


DEBATE

The Secret (www.thesecret.tv) The Secret is claimed to have existed throughout the history of humankind. “It has been discovered, coveted, suppressed, hidden, lost and recovered. It has been hunted down, stolen, and bought for vast sums of money. Now for the first time in history, The Secret is being revealed to the world over two breathtaking hours”. It is based on the premise that we can attract anything we need towards us - the ‘Law of Attraction’. The film claims the Secret was known to Plato, Leonardo, Galileo, Napoleon, Hugo, Beethoven, Lincoln, Edison, Einstein and Carnegie, to name but a few. It has the power to inspire and to create powerful opposition. So, is there a real secret here, or just well-packaged but wellknown principles? we do. “The film implies that what you think about is what you are going to get more of. If you focus on scarcity, then you will get scarcity. The mind cannot hear the negative in your thoughts and interprets what you don’t want as what you do”. In Lisa Turner’s model of the world, disease and bad experiences may be the result of an early choice. “Some challenges are chosen before we incarnate and sometimes we may decide as we go along. We may decide to do some form of disease in order to gain some kind of learning, experience or evolution. Once the learnings have been made, it is possible to heal it up inside and the disease will disappear whereas for others, the soul’s purpose may be to experience dying as a result and that is something with which to come to terms. This is, I stress, a model, but when we take full responsibility for the things that happen to us, we are much more powerful and have more resources to deal with that situation” Does “The Secret” work? Christine Clacey believes that for some it does. “I recommend it to all of my clients. I believe it will help to focus

people more on what they want and will thus have a positive impact”. Diane Corriette is less certain. “The secret is that there is no secret. You need to find what works for you. I’m not a believer that one thing works for all or that it always works for any one person. However, I do believe that there is a power or energy out there that will support our every need.” For Lisa Turner, “The Secret takes too much of a conscious mind approach, but this is all about the unconscious. It oversimplifies the how and oversimplifies the effect of learnings, experience and karmic purpose”. So, is The Secret and the Law of Attraction a breakthrough or simply a commercial enterprise that repackages techniques and ideas with which we are already familiar? Can belief turn into reality? Or does it simply help by, as Christine Clacey believes, “making us focus on what we actually want and being clear about that. Most people send out mixed messages to the universe.” The debate now moves on to the Rapport website. Have your say at: www.anlp.org/forum

The Participants Michael Beale NLP Trainer and Coach, PPI Business www.ppimk.com Christine Clacey NLP Master Practitioner, Talent4Business www.talent4business.com Diane Corriette Personal Growth Coach and Master Practitioner of NLP, Inspirational Guidance www.inspirationalguidance.co.uk Lisa Turner NLP Master Practitioner, Time Line Therapy and Hypnosis, Shamanic Healer and Reiki Master, Psycademy www.psycademy.co.uk

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WHAT’S NEW

Your chance to meet Michael Neill

Read All About it!

ichael Neill, author of ‘You Can Have What You Want’ and Be Happy Now’ is holding a practical and fun one day seminar to reveal the ‘how’ of happiness. The event takes place in Central London on Saturday 28th April. For tickets, contact Hay House publishers on 020 8962 1230.

id you see the centre pages of the Daily Mirror (8th February) or Healthy Magazine (March) issue? If you did then you would see how ANLP is spreading the word of NLP to a wider audience. In growing its relationship with the media, ANLP are the first point of call when a journalist is researching more about NLP and its benefits in our daily lives as well as within the business world. As a member of ANLP if you have something to say, have a particular case study to share or would like to be considered as a point of contact for future media opportunities then email Mandy at marketing@anlp.org with your details.

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Ahead of the Game head of the Game (author feature in Rapport, Winter 2006) is written for sports coaches, athletes and players of all levels who want to learn some leading edge yet tried and tested techniques and approaches to using your mind more effectively, and helping others to do the same. Drawing on many of the techniques from NLP, Ahead of the Game takes you through the techniques and approaches step by step, and is full of practical exercises and examples of how these techniques have been used with athletes so that you can adapt the techniques to suit you. The author, Jeremy Lazarus, is an ANLP Accredited Trainer. The book costs £19.99, and is available at a 10% discount (£17.99) for Rapport Readers quoting reference RAPP10.

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Improved rates on Professional Liability Insurance for Limited Companies s you may be aware, ANLP members qualify for discounted rates on Professional Liability insurance through Towergate Professional Risks. If you operate as a limited company, we’re pleased to advise that following feedback from ANLP members, Towergate Professional Risks have negotiated with insurers to change the way that insurance for limited companies is rated. For limited companies with between one and five consultants, this will mean a decrease in premiums.

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Firms of this size will now be rated as individuals - for example a firm with five consultants will now simply pay five times the rate for a sole trader. Firms with over five consultants will continue to be rated as before. The new rates take effect immediately. If you have already taken out cover, you will benefit from the new rates at your next renewal. If you don’t currently have cover and your firm meets the above criteria then you can contact Towergate for a quotation on 0113 294 4000 (Monday to Friday, 9am - 5pm).

Change Your World olistic Local is a new online meeting place created for people who are trying to improve the lives of others and make the world a better place. Co-founder, Andy Metcalfe told us “Holistic Local is an online business directory and social networking website for anyone who is passionate about living a more conscious life.” Visit www.holisticlocal.co.uk where you can freely advertise your business services, events and courses as well as network to make new friends and clients.

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Tom Silver Training 28th, 29th and 30th April 2007. Regents College, London

Hands-on training and live demonstrations by Tom Silver USA Master Trainer

ver's Tom Sil unique r a s e method inently and em ful s succes

Interactive and physical deep trance inductions Instant and unexpected induction training Emotional Replacement Therapy All this for only Effective early age and past life regression Instant removal of fears and phobias with ERT Rapid habit control methods EEG and scientific hypnosis training Visualisation, Affirmation and projection mind training Physical deepening to produce deep trance states Automatic unconscious re-programming method The hypnosis contract with your client

£970

His techniques will simply transform the way you work with clients and give you a mighty arsenal of methods that will massively enhance your effectiveness as a therapist. Places at Tom Silver's 2007 UK Training at Regent's College are strictly limited. Make sure of your place by calling the UK hotline 01277 203352 or log on www.TomSilverTraining.com and book online with your Credit Card. Book and pay before 14th February and get 10% discount. Other benefits and incentives include course manuals, free DVD players and Tom's training DVDs and a host of other Tom Silver products.


NLP NEWS

Reaching Deeper Wisdom

Creating Rapport with your Soul ANLP’s Director Karen Moxom meets La Rue Eppler, developer of the SoulTalk® Method; Caitlin Collins reports on the encounter ’m very fond of the beginning sequence from an old Mr Bean series: it opens with a shot of a city pavement; then a spotlight beams down, and suddenly a man is dropped onto the pavement as though from on high. He gets to his feet, gives a sort of shudder, pulls himself together, and toddles off into his next chaotic adventure. I think it’s a great depiction of the human condition: it really does seem as though we arrive from who knows where, blunder about more or less blindly for a bit, and then depart for who knows where. Humans throughout history have sought ways to go beyond the limitations of the usual Mr Bean level of bewilderment. Prayer, meditation, shamanic journeying, trance, pendulums, automatic writing, channelling, psychedelic drugs, tarot cards - all of these have been used in attempts to reach a greater wisdom which, according to one’s preferred frame of reference, can be identified in terms of an outer / inner / allpervasive source: God or Goddess, various deities, angels, spirits, ancestors,

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Connecting with a wisdom source American personal growth coach La Rue Eppler teaches a practical, simple method for contacting such a deeper wisdom source. Building on the discovery that muscle testing, as in applied kinesiology, can amplify subtle inner messages via the body, La Rue has extended this technique to connecting with the soul (as she calls it) for guidance in what might be termed authentic living. La Rue’s path to developing her SoulTalk® Method came about following what she describes as a ‘bizarre phenomenon’. She was hearing her home telephone ringing - when she wasn’t at home. When she tried going inside herself and asking what was going on, a little silent inner voice said, “I’ve been calling, and you haven’t answered.” ‘Realising that this message was linked to her hearing the phone ringing, she began exploring other, more convenient ways to allow the guidance of that little inner voice to manifest! In the process she noticed how when she followed the guidance, her life flowed easily, and when she didn’t, life was more difficult. Subsequently taking her discoveries into her work with clients, La Rue began writing about what she was doing, and so the SoulTalk® Method evolved. As La Rue explains, we are always receiving answers to our heartfelt questions. We need to learn how to recognise the responses we get, and to trust them. When we refine our ability to tune in to the messages, we’ll hear them as whispers; but if we don’t pay attention they’ll have to shout - or, as in her case, telephone! In her forthcoming book, The Essential Whisper, La Rue identifies six qualities of the soul’s voice that distinguish it from our usual mental chatter. The six qualities - snapshots, collapsed time, urge, wondering, knowing, and inspiration - are all characterised by a sense of spaciousness, stillness, and presence, which can alert us to pay attention to what is arising from a deeper place of knowing.

Learning to listen to our intuition “ can help us make choices ” ascended masters, a collective unconscious, inner wisdom, unconscious mind, buddha-nature, universal wisdom, big mind - and so on. Different people’s experiences are expressed in varying ways via personal and cultural interpretations, and are also likely to have been at least partly conditioned by their own maps of the world and their own perceptual filters, but they share some sense of a greater understanding that resonates with a knowing in the heart, a sort of ‘a-ha’ intuitive flash of insight. It differs from the building up of intellectual, conceptual knowledge, although it can certainly follow a period of engaging in analytical contemplation; it’s more like rediscovering something already known.

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NLP NEWS

The Six Distinctive Qualities of the Soul’s Voice Snapshots Moments of great significance in your life. A snapshot moment seems to be frozen in time, like a photo, and there’s a click of recognition of its importance, like the click of a camera. Collapsed time Altered perception of time - either slowed down or speeded up. In both cases there’s a sense of heightened awareness within the present moment. Urge A magnetic pull towards a desired outcome. It’s like a gut feeling or hunch with a compelling strength to it, accompanied by increased energy to enable you to act on it. Wondering A curiosity and willingness to find out the truth of something. It can seem to arise spontaneously and is characterised by openness, free of attachment to outcome. Knowing A sense of resonance, or alignment. It’s a sense of ‘rightness’ as a physical recognition of a certainty that goes much deeper than conditioned learning. Inspiration An idea, or ideas, linked with high energy and creativity. It’s stimulating and joyful, and you just have to go with it and act on it! It’s also catching - it spreads to other people!

La Rue believes that learning to listen to our intuition can help us to make choices that are true to our path, rather than trying to distort, suppress or deny our authenticity in attempts to please others. The deeper wisdom is aligned with higher good, she says; and following its guidance is not at all the same as indulging superficial whims: hence the usefulness of the six distinctions to enable us to recognise the genuine voice of wisdom. Receiving Your Heart’s Desire Around 50 people attended La Rue’s recent SoulTalk® workshop in the UK, entitled Receiving Your Heart’s Desire; among them was ANLP’s Karen Moxom. Karen was especially struck by the demonstration of the power of energy-influence. In one exercise, she recounts, a student was asked to close her eyes while the other participants silently ‘booed’ her and gave her the thumbs-down. On muscle-testing, her outstretched arm proved to be weak. While the student continued to keep her eyes closed, the other participants began smiling at her and giving her the thumbs-up: and now the arm tested strong. Then the student was instructed to repeat to herself an empowering phrase - and by ‘standing in her own power’ she remained consistently strong whatever the others were directing towards her! What was also interesting, says Karen, was that the student confessed afterwards that she hadn’t really believed in what she was saying to herself - but still it was effective: a great example of the efficacy of acting ‘as if ’ it were so in order to bring about real change. For Karen, this reaffirmation of the power of our own energy both to affect others and also to protect ourselves from others’ influence was a high point, as was the later clearing of a personal blockage associated with a cluster of old limiting beliefs. By contacting deeper wisdom in this simple way, using the muscle testing to amplify the messages, profound changes and insights happened quickly and safely; as Karen says, people were able to get straight to the essence.

Getting past people’s limiting beliefs is perhaps one of greatest challenges to the dissemination of work of this kind. We’re conditioned to be sceptical of something that seems too good to be true, or too easy to be of value; the ‘no pain, no gain’ Puritan ethic still prevails quite widely! It’s also necessary to find ways round, through or over beliefs and prejudices that may recoil from a particular presentation - for example, for those who have an aversion to the G word, La Rue’s references to God may be off-putting (even ‘soul’ might be too much for some). The next stage I find it hugely exciting to see NLP enthusiasts beginning to open up to the next stage - the spiritual or transcendent - as exemplified in La Rue’s work. There are pioneers already out in the field, for instance Robert Dilts; also the Andreas sisters, with their Core Transformation process; and Brandon Bays. Some interesting links are emerging, for example Zen Master Genpo Merzel’s Big Mind process, a sort of ‘short-cut to satori’ using parts-work to go beyond the limited ego-mind; also my own experiments in Natural Mind Magic, linking NLP with the wild and wonderfully creative practices of Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism. The Spiral Dynamics developmental model, with the ‘second-tier thinking’ of its ‘being’ levels, is gaining wider recognition within the coaching / personal development world. There’ll always be room for more - after all, it’s a boundless space! And there are numberless beings - or indeed Mr Beans - who could benefit from this level of work. It’s a tremendous opportunity to contribute profoundly to the world. La Rue will be in Sussex at Evolution Training from April 18th-30th running a series of workshops and training courses, ‘Receiving Your Hearts Desire’ takes place again on April 18th and 19th. Further details can be found at www.evolutiontraining.co.uk La Rue’s book, ‘The Essential Whisper’ is due out this summer, details can be found on her website www.directaccess2u.com

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NEWS

ANLPNews A well-deserved honour

NLP Conference

NLP Accredited Trainer, Dr. Alex Cheung, was elected ‘The Best NLP Trainer’ of the 2006 Asian Top 10 Corporate Trainers organized by HK Daily News. The panel of judges was very impressed at Dr. Cheung’s relentless efforts in promoting the application of NLP in the business sector both locally and in the Asia Pacific. Six of his NLP courses have gone through strict scrutiny of the Hong Kong Council for Academic Accreditation and have now been approved by the Government for Continuing Education Funding. This is a very substantial evidence of the high quality of his trainings as well as great encouragement for the participants - they can receive a subsidy of 80% of the course fee! Dr. Cheung is a very popular Corporate Trainer with clients from many different fields; including Multi-national Enterprises, Government Departments, Banks, Insurance Companies, Welfare organizations and Medical fields. The many excellent Reference Letters from his clients helped him to win this great honour. Another mission of Dr. Cheung is to see NLP in mainstream education. He is currently working with 5 local Universities in HK to offer NLP courses. He believes that professional

idening Horizons is the theme of a fast-moving one-day event being staged next month by Jo Hogg, organiser of the annual November NLP Conference in London. At Regent’s College, London on 28 April, a string of speakers will give thirty-minute presentations on topics from within NLP and beyond. Speakers confirmed so far include Greg Laws on Stone Age NLP, Masha Bennett on EFT, Steve Jones on negotiation, Jill Wigmore-Welsh on Body NLP, Davina Mackail on feng shui and Richard Walker on the physics of happiness. Jo explained: “It’s a day for the NLP community to socialise and network, as well as to have the opportunity to meet a lot of new presenters and hear a wide range of topics. It also give a platform for people who’ve not presented at a November Conference. “For newcomers it helps them to experience the enormous range of applications of NLP at modest cost.” Full detail and tickets (£45 each) are available from the Conference website: www.nlpconference.co.uk

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standard of NLP trainings must be well maintained in order to gain proper recognition. The reputation of the universities will help to secure public confidence, bringing more people to the NLP world. His high credentials and extensive personal & professional networks become the bridge which is another unique contribution to the development of NLP in HK & Asia. For more information about Dr. Cheung’s profile & activities, please visit www.nlppro. com

Rapport appeal NLP would like to create an online archive of all past Rapport articles dating back to the first ever issue in 1986. This archive would be a valuable and interesting resource

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for both members and Rapport readers. Unfortunately, the Rapport archive has been badly damaged and most of it is no longer legible! So ANLP is appealing to readers for help. If you have any back

issues of Rapport, dated between 1986 and 2002, please do contact the ANLP office on 020 8275 1175, or visit the website on www.anlp.org for details of the back issues required.

Take part in the

NLP research survey ave you completed the NLP Online Survey yet? This online survey has been commissioned to find out how you, as part of an active and interested body of NLP enthusiasts, understand the community of which you are a part. It is the most comprehensive survey of NLP and its uses

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ever undertaken, and is being distributed amongst thousands of people interested in NLP. The survey will take about 10 minutes of your time and the results will be made available to everyone who expresses an interest. You can access the survey online at www.surveymonkey.com/ s.asp?u=501942295423


LEADERSHIP

Self-Care and Wellbeing for Effective Leadership A unique and inspiring Trainer Training for you and your community 1-3 June 2007 with special guests Dr Patricia Novick and Judith DeLozier ccomplishing change in this world requires leadership, and this trainthe-trainer workshop teaches the key skills of effective leadership. It also goes beyond leadership skills to address a crucial, but often overlooked, leadership issue. We have found that leaders’ passion for change often can be so forceful that it may lead them to neglect two critical, related factors: their own wellness and the health and wellness of those with whom they partner to bring about change. Thus the workshop also addresses fundamental skills of self-care for leaders, to help leaders remain strong and resilient and avoid burnout or other factors that might diminish their effectiveness. It also shows how leaders can create a healthier overall organizational environment, so others may more successfully sustain their own energy and capacities. Briefly described, the self-care aspect of the training has the following characteristics: • The participants learn how to practice and teach specific, straightforward practices that have been proven to improve physical health and combat stress;

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• The self-care practices relate to breathing, movement, water, relationships, touch, conscious eating, and other essential subject areas; • The practices do not require “special effort,” such as going to a gym or taking time out from one’s schedule; they can be integrated into daily activities; • The grounding of each practice is deepened and anchored through the use of music, song, poetry, and interfaith prayer, and over 200 images also reinforce the content • The participants learn how self-care skills to build a healthier working environment. An attractive workbook reinforces the training content, and mutual support among the participants is built into the training so that they come to know each other better and create a “community of wellness” which sustains their commitment. The unique overall outcomes of combining leadership skills with self-care skills are as follows: • Leaders are enabled to bring more of themselves to their commitments and to sustain their change activities over longer periods of time;

• They learn how to help others do the same; and • They thereby create an enlarged space for meeting not just the abstract issuerelated interests of those they would enlist in change, but also for meeting others’ most fundamental personal needs and interests. With Special Guests: Dr. Patricia Katherine Novick holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and two degrees in Divinity. She has taught self-care to over one thousand people, in various settings. She created and administered the first program in the U.S. to provide degree-granting education and training in holistic healthcare concepts and practices. She holds certifications or advanced training in more than ten specific healing disciplines, including breathwork, healing touch, hypnotherapy, biofeedback, and Feldenkrais Method. As a Senior Fellow at Harvard Divinity School in 2003-2004, she led the creation of an exhibit, “Art and Healing,” which has been presented in locations throughout

the U.S. The exhibit displays over 100 art items related to healing from 11 different faith traditions. Judith DeLozier is an original co-developer of the field in NLP and has made fundamental contributions to the development of many core NLP models and processes. In her 30 years of training and working with NLP all over the world she has particularly championed ideas that relate to culture, community, personal congruence, trans-cultural skills and more systemic and relational approaches. Judith’s background is originally in anthropology and religious studies and her love of dance (ballet and Congolese) has led her to promote movement and the body as a primary tool in NLP leading to the creation with Robert Dilts of Somatic Syntax. She is the co-author of Turtles All the Way Down (with John Grinder) and the Encyclopedia of NLP (with Robert Dilts.) Central School of Speech and Drama in association with PPD Learning Ltd Register your interest now: health@ppdlearning.co.uk

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INTERNATIONAL

‘Challenge Ralph’ Rebuilding the reputation of NLP in Turkey When Ralph Watson first went to Istanbul in April 2004 in order to lead an NLP Practitioner course, it was quite an experience. Andy Coote reports

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INTERNATIONAL

alph Watson knows how it feels to get out of his comfort zone. He first went to Istanbul in April 2004 in order to lead an NLP Practitioner course in English (with translation to Turkish) for a sponsor out there. “That was quite an experience”, he tells us, “firstly because I was working through translation for a nine-day period and I had absolutely no knowledge or experience of the Turkish language. Imagine the challenges - teaching Milton language patterns that are being translated into a language the structure of which is totally different to English” he smiles at the memory. ”We had so much FUN working out how to switch them round and get them to work. Then, to add another level of interest, I discovered that the assistant they had assigned to me spoke no English either. Picture this one - a group of three people engaged in an exercise. They are being monitored by me (at a discreet distance) and my interpreter is translating every word so that I can follow the process. My assistant is monitoring another group and then she has to feed back the results through the interpreter.” Rather than finding the situation nightmarish, Ralph found the whole experience so charmingly bizarre that he enjoyed every second of every day. He found the people “amazing”. “In all my experience, I have never met people with such ENERGY! They asked constant questions, happily explored where many are cautious to tread and, well, imagine an NLP course where everyone gets up and sings and dances at least twice every day - and I mean EVERYONE! It was like a nine-day learning-party” And they did learn. “One of my great joys is to observe people in the process of gaining insight to themselves and, when they are ready, making some positive changes for themselves - some big, some small, all powerful.

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I watched people in Istanbul who sat in tears of pleasure at changing the way they perceived a relationship. There’s no price on that. None at all”. That, along with his experience of Istanbul, ensured that he went back. “Have you ever arrived somewhere for the first time and been just so SURE that you’ve been there before? Ever felt totally relaxed and at home, so to speak? Well, that’s what I experienced in Istanbul. It’s an amazing city in an amazing country and full of amazing people. I’ve been welcomed everywhere I’ve been and I’ve worked all over Turkey now. I really love working here. It also sparked my interest in exploring personal development in different cultures. To date, I’ve been to Croatia, Russia, China, Holland, Italy, the Czech Republic and Gulf States. I’ve been very lucky indeed”. So lucky, in fact, that his vision for NLP in Turkey borders on the evangelical. “Since I came to Turkey, I have met some amazing people, worked with literally hundreds of students and seen some go on to become NLP Trainers in their own right. I’ve also been aware that there are training companies in Turkey whose sole outcome is to make money from teaching NLP and who have little regard for quality or ethics. They have seen a blank cheque and want to write a large sum on it. I want that to change. I want to see an evolution in NLP training in Turkey. One that brings with it a growing community of trainers and practitioners who respect each other, acknowledge the value of what they do and communicate. NLP itself has been damaged in Turkey because organisations have been ripped off by so-called “NLP experts” and so have individuals. I have friends who are afraid to tell people they are NLP trained! That can’t be

I want to re-establish “ NLP in Turkey as a respected set of tools for personal, and professional growth

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INTERNATIONAL

right, surely. My outcome is to re-establish NLP in Turkey as a respected set of tools for personal, and professional, growth”. Ralph has set himself a big challenge by any measure. And the approach needs to be fundamental, he believes. “My opinion is that we need to, quite literally, start again. I am planning to run some NLP programmes that are thorough in their content, ethical in their approach and designed to produce NLP Practitioners and Master Practitioners who really know their stuff and walk their talk. It’s going to take time and it’s going to need support. People here don’t enjoy the level of income that they do in the West and they don’t have the level of employment benefits either. A sixteen day programme takes a lot of filling and I’m looking to create new approaches with sufficient flexibility to empower people to learn. We need to find new ways to teach NLP that will fit with the culture here and not try to make the culture fit to us. That’s been tried - and it didn’t work”. Ralph’s goal is to encourage people to become part of a new generation of Practitioners, Master Practitioners and then Trainers. “I don’t care if that takes years. The end result will be worth it. If we can get NLP back to the level of respectability that it enjoys elsewhere in the world”. The challenge is, to Ralph, one worth taking on. “I really love what I do and I would not do anything else. All I ask is the chance to carry on doing it. I do what I do best and I intend to do it well”. Ralph’s appetite for new frontiers is considerable. He is already working across Europe and into the Middle East with corporate clients. “The next year is already full of exciting things so I’m thanking the universe for all

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of it. In collaboration with a major Adult learning Centre, I’m about to establish the London Centre for Personal Excellence, which will be based in the East End of London - another of my favourite places - and will be offering programmes to both businesses and individuals on a wide range of subjects from pure NLP to Leadership Development. We have an amazing new venue that will be opening very soon so watch this space!” He is also hoping to bring people from the UK, and elsewhere, to Turkey for an “NLP holiday” experience. They will be advertised from the middle of 2007. “I’m exploring venues on the South Coast of Turkey as well as here in beautiful Istanbul”. Ralph is an Accredited Trainer with ANLP. It is a strategic move for him. “ANLP is an inclusive association and my intention is to use that for the benefit of the students in Turkey. All students who attend at Practitioner and Master Practitioner level will have an opportunity to become part of the ANLP community with their own entry on the website that will promote them for the quality of their work. It’s part of that evolution. Image is important to Turkish people and to be a Member of an association with its attendant benefits will help them establish their credibility”. He is also an INLPTA Member and sees no clash in that. “INLPTA stands for quality, professionalism and ethics, as does ANLP. What better standard to fly on what we aim to achieve in Turkey. I acknowledge and support the standards and work of INLPTA in everything I do. That won’t change. What may change, if it has to change, will be the structure of the trainings in Turkey. We teach flexibility in NLP. I’ll be practicing what we preach. Any perceived clash will lie only in the mindset of those who think we must do it the way we’ve always done it.” For you, the reader of this issue of Rapport Ralph has this message. “You’ve read the article. Now come and meet the cast. Get booked on Easyjet and come and learn in the most amazing country on earth!” We’ll maybe see you there.


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EDUCATION

‘They think I’m a mad woman!’ ‘They don’t know what I might do next!’ Classroom management with Buddhist ‘skilful means’ and NLP. Assistant head teacher Sue Gwinnell-Smith describes her strategies to Caitlin Collins ue Gwinnell-Smith is delighted to know that students at her Sussex comprehensive school find her not just scary but ‘nice scary’. Littlehampton Community School has 2000 students aged 11 - 18, and Sue has special responsibility for the behaviour support unit for those with severely disruptive behavioural and emotional difficulties. With a background of over 30 years in education, much of it specialising in children’s emotional and behavioural problems, combined with 15 years’ practice of Tibetan Buddhism, and, more recently, NLP Practitioner training, Sue teaches the students how to manage their own behaviour and helps the staff to support them in learning to take responsibility for their actions. ‘Some of the young people have extreme problems at home,’ explains Sue. ‘There may be violent and abusive parents, family drug and alcohol issues, or neglect. Some have undergone traumatic experiences, while others have great personal challenges such

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as autistic-spectrum problems or varying degrees of learning difficulties. Many have anger management problems. As well as improving literacy and numeracy, we try to promote emotional intelligence. My Buddhist background helps in teaching the students how their actions lead to consequences, linking up with ideas such as “what goes around comes around”. They learn that if you can calm the mind and let it settle, it’s possible to choose to be happy; talking about impermanence - “this too will pass” - also helps them to cope with awful circumstances.’ Starting with the basic Buddhist principle of ahimsa, or not harming, and helping if possible, Sue brings in metta or loving kindness, plus skilful means, mindfulness and awareness. ‘Then I add the practical tools of NLP,’ she says; ‘and, while there may not be a magic wand, there’s certainly a bagful of possible strategies! So, if what you’re doing isn’t working, you can change tack easily!’

Presuppositions Sue finds that her NLP skills help her to communicate more effectively, and she’s a great fan of the NLP presuppositions. ‘Respecting others’ models of the world helps me not only with the children, but also with the parents, some of whom have very different models from mine! Accepting that the meaning of communication is the response you get is also very relevant: as educators, it’s our responsibility to communicate well so as to be understood. And it’s really helpful to remember - or at least be open to the idea - that people are not their behaviour, however destructively they may be acting it’s the best they can do at that moment, and there’s some sort of positive intention underlying even the most destructive actions.’ Much of Sue’s work involves helping the staff to work with the students. ‘I can tell straight off, at their interviews, who is going to find it easy to control a class and who isn’t,’ she says. ‘Number one, you need rapport. But when little Johnny bleeps at you, what happens to your rapport?!


EDUCATION

You need to be creative - perhaps sit on the floor beside a youngster who is refusing to move! You need to bring everything into play in that moment: your background, training, strategies, and instinct.’ Techniques Her reputation as ‘nice scary’ may have arisen because Sue doesn’t get rattled easily. ‘We had a lad with autistic-spectrum problems whose behaviour could be a challenge - he’d be swearing and carrying on - very difficult. When I asked him why behaved better with me than with some of the other teachers, he told me it was because I was scary, then added, “but nice scary”! Unfortunately I couldn’t extract any more details from him! I think it’s because I don’t shout or get upset, but I’ll do unusual things as pattern interrupts to get a child to break state. They think I’m a mad woman - they don’t know what I’ll do next!’ Sue encourages the staff to model those teachers the students call ‘scary’, noticing their body language and how they walk, as well as their language patterns and how they speak. She invites them to tell stories in the classroom, maintaining that even the toughest kids love fairy stories! Open, Miltontype language and positive suggestion are also important. Sue asks the teachers to focus on what’s right, on what they want, not on what they don’t want. ‘For instance, a teacher may be telling the kids how bad they are,’ she

says. ‘But I’ll go into the room and ask, “Is everything all right?” I’ll say that I know the children are bright, and that I know the class can settle down and work well.’ Sue teaches both students and staff a number of NLP techniques, such as anchoring to evoke positive states of mind, imaginatively rehearsing effective behaviour, and visualising desired outcomes; she especially emphasises the importance of effective goal setting. One of her favourite strategies is 7 / 11 breathing: breathing deeply down into the belly while counting to seven, then releasing the breath as a sigh while counting to eleven, so the outbreath is longer and more controlled. ‘It’s a basic mindfulness of breathing meditation. I tell them I do this when I’m feeling stressed - and no one knows I’m doing it! I ask the kids to practise 7 / 11 breathing whenever the ads

When little Johnny “ bleeps at you, what

right, Miss. It does work!”’ What other tips does Sue have for stress management on the spot? ‘I find it helps to walk away from the person I’m having difficulties with. I breathe and I count! Then I praise someone nearby for doing the right thing. I use proximity praise - praising someone else who is doing what I want, so the person I’m really aiming at will also want to be praised and so will act accordingly!’ A holistic future Sue is excited about future plans for Littlehampton Community School. The school is developing environmental awareness and responsibility, including constructing an ambitious new eco-building, along with promoting a more holistic approach towards the students by bringing together the many different agencies involved in the children’s welfare. As Sue points out, this will benefit not only the individual children now, but also the wider community, and the benefits will carry on into the future as the young people go on to become parents themselves. And what about Sue herself ? She recently received a compliment from a colleague. ‘She said to me: “It really shows you love your job!” And I do! It’s worthwhile. The kids tell me I’ve helped them to look at things differently and to make things happen. They say, ‘”We know you care.” They’re right. I do care. And I want to make a difference.’

happens to your rapport? come on TV; I say that the ads will remind them to do it. And I say that I know from my own experience that it works, that the more they practise the easier it becomes, and also that I have the scientific evidence to back up what I say - it’s proven to reduce adrenalin levels and induce relaxation. The great thing is, the kids come back and tell me, “You’re

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PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

The End Of The Incompetency Attack*?

by Shelle Rose Charvet

or years it’s been known that how one manages one’s emotional state is key to performance. Ask any athlete. Ask anyone who has to make a presentation. Ask a student about writing an exam. Ask anyone who makes a living curing others of performance anxiety. And then let’s take the context of learning. Many people had stressful experiences at school or other environments that they describe as ‘traumatising.’ When I was first hired in a French training company, a well-known author and my senior consultant, conducted what he called “sales training” for myself and another newcomer to the firm. This consisted of video taping role plays between us and potential customers and then during the playback he pointed out everything we did wrong. For me this created a huge “Incompetency Attack” where I became convinced I would never be able to sell and therefore never be able to ‘make it’ in this industry. This dreadful feeling lasted well over 6 months. I run the annual 2 week LAB Profile Consultant/Trainer Certification Program. Every year a few people freak out and have Incompetency Attacks. Over the years, my coaching team and I have developed many strategies to help our participants manage their emotional states. We invited people to use NLP anchoring techniques to create positive states. We had them label the experience as an ‘Incompetency Attack’ and realise it had nothing to do with their real level of incompetency. We developed a facilitation approach that the coaches could use to help people get through the emotions to get back to a positive emotional state. I even created a new technique, based on many NLP protocols to help people recapture their success strategies and transform their experience as learners.

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But it still bothered me that some people experience these devastating negative emotional states when they are learning a subject matter about which they are passionate. I knew there had to be another way. Last summer we had a smaller group than usual. I decided that we would change the way we gave feedback to see if we could reduce the number of people who had Incompetency Attacks and increase the number of people who meet the certification standards. Here is the formula we used when we wanted a participant to change something that he or she was doing: 1. Make a suggestion. 2. Give 2 reasons why we think it is a good idea: one reason states what the suggestion would accomplish (LAB Profile Pattern: Toward), and one reason would state what problem the suggestion would prevent or solve (LAB Profile Pattern Away From)

back his key words. This would allow you to make sure that your client knows you got what was important and also avoid any misunderstandings on the deliverables. You already acknowledge what is important to people by nodding so this should be do-able.” This straight-forward formula is harder than you might think. It took the team of coaches a couple of days to be doing it fluently without any critique. We taught our participants also to use this formula when giving each other feedback instead of critiquing. And we threw out the traditional feedback sandwich** altogether. What were the results? For the first time, all eligible participants met the certification standards. While there were a couple of people who had some difficulty with some of the exercises, no one freaked out! Not one Incompetency Attack. And all we had done was shift the environment slightly! This was a one-time experiment with a small

How one manages “ one’s emotional state is key to performance ”

3. Make an overall positive comment about the person, his/her abilities, etc. We decided to forbid any criticism, either direct or implied. If anyone noticed something wrong, before speaking they were to think of what they wanted instead and express it in the above format. Here’s an example: “I was thinking that when you are asking a client about his needs, consider repeating

group of people. Not the stuff of scientific inquiry. Wouldn’t it be great if you tried this out with your colleagues, participants, family and friends? You could find out if it does work and possibly avoid having people become defensive when all you want to do is make a suggestion. It takes a bit of practice for it to become natural but after a couple of tries it is much easier. I would love to know what you discover. Please email me at shelle@successtrategies. com

**Traditional Feedback Sandwich: What I liked. Points of Improvement (typically phrased as what I didn’t like), Overall positive comment. Most people agreed that this has become so familiar that as soon as someone gives them a compliment they brace themselves to hear the criticism that inevitably comes next and therefore cannot take in the compliment.

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PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

*Incompetency Attack is a term invented by my good friend Gillian Keefe. It refers to an extremely negative emotional state wherein one believes one is utterly incompetent. The state however has no bearing on one’s real level of incompetence.

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CELEBRITY

HOW PAULA RADCLIFFE’S MARATHON GOAL SETTING COULD WORK FOR YOU AND YOUR GOALS

by William Little and Eve Menezes Cunningham

Paula Radcliffe started running seriously as a 12-year-old. It took her years to build up the muscle and stamina needed to become the women’s marathon world record holder aula Radcliffe knows more about the importance of preparation and long term goal setting than most people. Last year, 5000 runners pulled out of the London Marathon due to injury or not being prepared. Many dropped out in the week just before the race. As with any large goal, combining the right mental attitude with the necessary practical steps can make the difference between finishing the race or giving up before you’re off the starting block. Radcliffe says, “I think a lot of people underestimate the challenge of running a marathon and turn up under-prepared. The most important thing is to start slowly. Especially if you are a beginner and this is your first marathon. Doing too much too soon can only lead to injury and disappointment.” Think about your biggest goal. Do you dream about running a marathon? Writing a book? Building up your own business? Buying a house? Whatever your goal, it will be much more manageable when you’ve broken it down into smaller chunks. If you let the steps you should be taking (training, working on your business / book or saving up for a deposit) build up, you’ll not make enough progress. This will soon lead to feeling overwhelmed and demotivated. Radcliffe says, “Giving yourself regular goals to aim at is a great way to keep you motivated.” For marathon runners, this might be upping your speed or mileage. For

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wannabee homeowners, it might be the next £1000 saved. With a new business, it might be a certain amount of clients of customers each week. And for a writer, a minimum weekly or daily word count is easier to measure than “a book.” According to Radcliffe, “For any runner to perform at their best, it is important that they run efficiently, allowing their body to use as little energy on each step as possible, whilst maintaining the required stride length and cadence. A combination of correct running technique and using appropriate running equipment can help to reduce the chance of injury. With respect to running technique, the most important concept is to run tall and relaxed.” Think about your goal. Is there any training

motivational hurdle. Radcliffe recommends layering as a good way to offset the cold and keep comfortable: “Not just one thick layer but two or three lightweight layers. It allows perspiration to escape more readily while holding in more heat, so it will keep you warmer and drier. Running indoors can work as part of your training routine. It can be a bit dull but music can help you keep going.” Future pacing will help you identify challenges that you’ll face in reaching your goal. When you think about the coming weeks and months, what are you dreading the most? How can you build in solutions as you plan your progress? Radcliffe says, “I have been doing crosstraining during my pregnancy and it also helped me recover from my foot injury last

Giving yourself regular “ goals to aim at is a great way to keep you motivated ”

you can do to enhance your saving, sales or writing technique? What resources do you have to help you avoid setbacks on your path to success? How can you measure your achievements and feedback to see what needs to change and what’s going well? Winter marathon training can be a

year. I also use a cross-country ski machine regularly in hard training blocks to reduce pounding on my body. It helps you maintain fitness without pounding the roads and stressing your joints. It provides a good cardiovascular workout and will build strength. Cross training is a good way of maintaining


CELEBRITY

Paula Radcliffe’s top marathon training tips: fitness levels when injured.” How can you “cross train” as you progress along your path? What can you do when you’ve got a cold or are having to spend a lot of time travelling? If you’re building a business, as well as making those calls, you might seek inspiration by talking to successful entrepreneurs, reading books or listening to motivational CD’s as you travel to meetings? While not technically on your To Do List, these activities will all help you succeed. Think laterally. Before running a marathon, Radcliffe suggests eating a breakfast of complex carbohydrates. She says, “Simple carbohydrates such as confectionary and sweet foods are also helpful in giving a quick boost of energy. But they will not provide a lasting benefit so should be used sparingly.” With your goal, as well as eating a balanced and nutritious diet to keep your healthy and well, use your skills to audit your mental diet. Are you telling yourself things that inspire and motivate you or is negativity taking a hold? Are you spending precious time off with uplifting friends and family? Are you giving yourself enough downtime to recharge and renew? Many people feel quite anti-climactic when their goal is within reach. This is where setting goals beyond the goal is helpful. In the meantime, Radcliffe reminds us, “The most important thing is to enjoy it and have fun whilst running. I sometimes still cannot believe this is a career as I also see it as a hobby.”

• “For beginners and regular runners, the most common cause of injury is progressing too fast, too soon. It is important to remember that most injury is avoidable. The first rule is to ease slowly into any run.” • “Targeting a half-marathon or 10k prior to the big day is perfect. Plus it will give you essential race day experience.” • “For good core stability to help your body stay strong and balanced when fatigued, invest in a Swiss ball. You can do lots of core strengthening on the ball and make the routine more interesting and effective so you will be more likely to do them regularly and reap the benefits.” • Radcliffe says that the best way to avoid injuries is to have a sensible approach to training and never try to make big increases in weekly running schedules: “As a general rule don’t increase by more than 10% at a time.” • “Running technique is also something that has to be taken into consideration. Buying a pair of running shoes that are suited to your style is one of the best pieces of advice that you can have,” she says. There is no “single best shoe - everyone has different needs.” Radcliffe recommends seeking out a specialist running shop: “Get someone to watch how you run and do a proper test. You shouldn’t compromise when you’re buying your training shoes. Proper running socks will also help - and stop you getting blisters.”

• Stretching is essential: “Walk briskly first and once your muscles are warm then stretch properly. Always jog a little to warm up before starting these stretches. You should be careful how you do stretches though and never go past a point where it starts to feel painful. I think a regular regime of jogging and stretching before and after running helps you to feel loose and relaxed whilst running and aids the body’s recovery time. Looking after your muscles is an essential part of your training. It is better to hold a stretch for a good 30 seconds. After a few weeks, you’ll be feeling the benefits.” • “Make sure you stay well hydrated, even in cold weather. When you are wearing loads of clothes you will sweat and lose fluids, so make sure you drink water before and during each run. Also, drink plenty of liquids after training - especially after long runs. And practice drinking during longer training runs.” • “Whilst running, pace yourself as it is important not to set off too fast at the start of a race. Learn to pace your running throughout the full distance of the run. Above all enjoy the run and always remember running is not only great exercise, but it’s your own personal time.” • “When I’m racing I tend to count in my head. But if I’m training, or feeling stressed, I switch off. Running clears my head. It’s my thinking time. It is important to remain focused and I am a very determined person.”

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BUSINESS

Research supports NLP training to be a potential source of competitive advantage by Curtis Ponting Research conducted at the University of Surrey as part of an MBA dissertation appears to support the view that NLP training may provide a means for businesses to gain competitive advantage. n my research, NLP trained individuals who use NLP in a business context were asked whether their NLP training had improved their in-role performance. Almost all the respondents believed that this was the case. This finding is consistent with Bandura’s self-efficacy theory, which suggests that if an individual perceives an improvement in their in-role performance this is highly likely to be reflected in their actual performance. This therefore suggests that NLP training is an effective means for businesses to improve employee performance. This may help to explain why a growing number of companies appear to be investing in NLP training for their staff, as improving performance potentially enhances competitive advantage. In fact one of my main motivations for conducting the research was the observation that businesses and individuals were investing in NLP training but that this did not appear to be acknowledged in the academic literature and research generated by business schools. I am of the view that in order to be of

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value business schools must be appreciative of actual business practice. It appeared to me that NLP was clearly an area where this was not the case. I therefore decided to conduct an exploratory study into the use of NLP in business in an attempt to play some part in bridging the gap between the academic world and the business world. My starting point was to review the literature relating to the use of NLP in business. Although as expected there are a large number of books and magazine articles on the subject the lack of literature generated by the academic community was very apparent. In fact it appeared that no other such review of literature on the use of NLP had been conducted in an academic setting, therefore my work was considered to be original. Using findings from the literature review and background interviews with some NLP practitioners, I produced a questionnaire which I distributed to 47 volunteers who had been recruited by PPD Learning as being NLP trained practitioners who use NLP in a business

setting. My analysis was based on 21 returns. As well as the finding about selfefficacy, other points of interest are as follows: 1) Although NLP trained individuals work in a great variety of professions there were some notable patterns. When asked to describe their profession 24% mentioned coach, 24% mentioned consultant, and 19% mentioned trainer. This would tend to support the view that there is growing interest in coaching and the use of NLP techniques within the profession. 2) The respondents were asked which techniques or models they most commonly used in a business context. A strong pattern emerged with 38% identifying perceptual positions. 3) Interestingly 43% of respondents said that they had experienced barriers to using NLP in a business context with a third of these citing the fact that NLP is sometimes viewed as being manipulative. Where barriers had been encountered, 56% of the respondents said that they sought to overcome them by explaining NLP whereas the remainder

avoided using the term NLP. Additionally, a third of those who had encountered barriers thought that research into NLP would help to overcome the barriers. I should point out that, as may be apparent, I am not personally a trained NLP practitioner. Whilst this undoubtedly made understanding and appreciating NLP and its terminology a challenge, it did mean that I was in a position to conduct my research without bias and therefore maintain my objectivity. Having now completed my MBA, I am looking forward to training as an NLP practitioner, hopefully sometime in the near future. I would like to thank my dissertation supervisor, Dr Paul Tosey, and PPD Learning for all their help with this study in addition to everyone who took the time to complete the questionnaire. Curtis Ponting BSc(HONS) MBA FCA MCMI csponting@aol.com Tel. +44 1483 740296 Additional contact details: Dr Paul Tosey, University of Surrey, P.Tosey@surrey.ac.uk Tel. +44 1483 689763


PROFESSIONAL

www.anlp.org ANLP Member Benefits include • Rapport Magazine • Online Profile and Promotion • Discounts and support with business services • CPD Online • Newsletters • Membership Certificate • Accreditation available Visit www.anlp.org or call 020 8275 1175

ANLP’s reputation with the public and the media means that their website already has first page rankings on Google without any need for them to pay for sponsored links, and now they are aiming to go one step further NLP have always recognised that they have two audiences – the general public, who come to ANLP to find quality practitioners and advice about NLP in general, and the members, who they support, encourage and promote. Mindful of the fact that NLP is all about communication, ANLP are launching their improved new website in April. The most significant improvement will be that the site will now be split into two clear sections.

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The Members Website From April, members, potential members and those interested in ANLP will have their own website. Aimed specifically at NLP Practitioners, Trainers and Regional Groups, this part of website will still include a ‘Members’ Only’ section, and will also have a dedicated business support area, information, links, research, case studies and other items of

interest to the NLP Community. Members will be able to log in and update their profile, upload diary events and case studies and maintain their CPD within the new online reflective, outcome based programme. They will also be able to invite their peers to take part in online mentoring or supervision, and engage in discussions and online conversations through the new peer discussion links. Members will also receive their own newsletter, which will keep them updated with information and events, offers and opportunities. Information and diary events uploaded and maintained by members will then be available to the general public. The Public Website Members of the Public, the Media and those interested in discovering more about NLP will now have their own dedicated part of the website. Designed with the wider audience

in mind, this area will offer help, information and assistance to the general public. As before, anyone who wishes to find a practitioner or a trainer either by location or by keyword will be able to search our online members’ database and contact them. There will also be opportunities for members to advertise their services and products on the public website, and there will be feature areas, including ‘Practitioner of the Month’ and ‘Featured Trainer’, relevant case studies, Rapport articles and NLP promotions designed to inform the General Public. ANLP will also be launching the NLP Newsletter, which is specifically aimed at members of the public and will include information on the basics of NLP, and articles designed to educate the public on choosing a practitioner or training course. Again, there will be opportunities for members to promote themselves in this newsletter.

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HEALTH

A weight on your mind? Lighten your load with NLP As Spring approaches, it may be that New Year’s resolutions have been forgotten. Eve Menezes Cunningham investigates strategies for year round health and fitness ost of us have an emotional connection to food and weight. When your healthy eating and exercise plans are going well, it’s easy to stay motivated and on track. And when things go a bit pear, apple or even gateaux-shaped, NLP can mean the difference between a small lapse and a major binge... Does a little voice in your head tell you that your efforts are pointless? That you’re fat / lazy / worthless? Stop whatever you’re doing and examine that voice. Who does it sound like? A critical parent? PE teacher from school? You, but really angry? Most of us have, at some point (often as children), internalised a critical voice. Because we hear it so often, we believe it. Change the voice you hear. Instead of a strict and authoritative voice, play around with it. Do you believe the words when they sound like Bart Simpson or your pet? This simple but effective technique works because it helps you to take a step back and assess whether what you are telling yourself is true or helpful. Are you “too busy”?

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Log your time over a few weeks to see where you can make time savings. Schedule in cooking and shopping time as well as exercise (whether it’s a class or appointment with yourself). As well as helping you fit everything in, your selfesteem will grow as you get into the habit of keeping the promises you make to yourself.

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Does one doughnut / packet of crisps / biscuit always seem to turn into more? Do you reach for the whole packet or accept your lapse and resolve to do better the next day? Stop everything you’re doing and enjoy every mouthful! By fully savouring and appreciating it, you’ll benefit much more than if you immediately let guilt and shame take over. You’ll also avoid the need to binge as you’ll already be feeling better. You can’t imagine your life (or figure) any other way? Spend a few moments believing you can and will achieve your health and fitness goals. Let that feeling of success settle. What will you look like in that amazing new outfit / holding an advanced yogic asana / completing the marathon? What admiring sounds will you hear? How fantastic will you feel? Putting as much detail into this daydream as you can, on a daily basis, will keep you fired up to stay on track. It also sends a message to your unconscious that you’re making it happen. Do you keep making excuses for eating the wrong foods / not exercising? Letting go of any judgement, be honest with yourself. What benefits are you getting from

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your unhealthy eating / lack of exercise? It may be that you associate eating a packet of biscuits with pure indulgence and comfort. By recognising this, you can plan healthier ways to indulge and comfort yourself. Time in the steam room after your swim? Seeing a frivolous film with a good friend? Every behaviour has a positive intention. Even if you’re directly sabotaging your best efforts, identifying this positive intention will help you make much more progress. You didn’t think your health and fitness goals through? It’s not too late to do it now. Give yourself a timeframe and make the goal positive. If you say, “I want to lose weight” your heart may sink at the very idea. Reframing it as “I want

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Every behaviour has “ a positive intention ”

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to be fit, healthy and happy with my figure by December 2007” has an energising effect and will keep you motivated. Studies continually prove that people who write down and review their goals reach them. It only takes a few minutes to tip the scales in your favour. You can also time travel in your mind. Imagine you’re exactly as you want to be in December 2007, work back and list all the things you now need to do to get there.


HEALTH

When are you least likely to exercise / eat well? Log your food and drink intake and exercise over a month. What triggers the giving up stage (hormonal changes? low energy?). Anticipate future lapses by making a note of them in your diary. Schedule in a bit of flexibility around these times (deadlines at work? Certain times of the month?) and you’ll avoid the full downward spiral. Studying your log as evidence will help you become more objective and able to make lasting positive changes. Do you appreciate your body for all the amazing things it does? Notice the things you take for granted. If you’re still carrying extra baby weight, remind

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yourself that your amazing body brought a baby into the world. If you’re worried about the size of your thighs, remember that they allow you to lift heavy loads. If you constantly attack yourself mentally, you’ll cling to those unhealthy habits more tightly. Accepting what you have shifts energy so you can make healthier choices more easily. Are you regularly too tired to exercise? Think about why this keeps happening. At what point do you usually realise you’re too tired? What can you do differently? It may mean waking up earlier, insisting on a lunch break or going for a daily walk. Or you might put some simple and gentle exercises together

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to do before bed. Remembering that you always have choices empowers you to look at things differently. Do you keep putting your diet and exercise plans off ? Remember the last time you had a great workout. Recalling how brilliant you felt afterwards will help motivate you to make it a bigger priority. Never enjoyed exercising or eating well? There are other areas of your life which you handle with grace, confidence and discipline. What is your strongest area? Reminding yourself that you excel in other areas allows you to become more objective and empowered when it comes to your weight. www.applecoaching.com

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HEALTH

Do you need help finding your Happyweight? Judy Price, Nutritionist and Master Practitioner and Trainer of NLP, started Happyweight after many years of yoyo dieting. The system helped her lose 50 lbs of fat without deprivation or dieting. Judy is now happy with her body and has a much healthier relationship with food. The catalyst for Judy’s Happyweight programme was the realisation that diets not only don’t work but they damage self-esteem. Being filled with self loathing about your body shape is hardly the most resourceful state from which to change things. So Judy started to model naturally slim people to figure out their strategies for success. They didn’t diet, they simply ate when they were hungry and stopped when they were no longer hungry. They didn’t eat because they felt lonely, angry, upset or as a reward. Judy encourages people to listen to their bodies. “Change your mind,” she says, “and the body changes naturally”. Mindful eating is recommended to help you notice how you feel as you eat and not to eat beyond your appetite because you’re distracted by the TV. Future pacing and trusting your own intuition also feature in the Happyweight plan. They sound simple but are valuable steps to help you regain trust in your own appetite. Mandy Smith decided to try it. A week after starting the programme, she said, “The liberating feeling of not being on a diet is great. You’re not meant to weigh yourself but I have, just to see, and I’ve already lost 1kg.” And a few weeks on, Mandy says, “I still feel great and very positive although I did have a slight set back when I fell back into a couple of bad habits. However, I am now aware why this happened and so can address and deal with this as it occurs, which is major step forward. Although I have been exercising regularly for the past 18 months I also decided to try a new aerobics class, which was of a higher level than I was used to. Although I felt I was going to melt by the end of the class, I found I really enjoyed it and wanted to go to this class regularly as the challenge of being able to do the routines is something I really want to achieve. It is early days still but something has changed and it’s definitely for the better!” For more information about Happyweight, phone 01424 434606, email enquiries@happyweight.com or visit www.HappyWeight.com Martha Beck’s “The Joy Diet: 10 steps to a happier life” (2003, Piatkus, ISBN 0749924411) can also help you to improve your eating habits and increase your appetite for joy, too.

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PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Brand basics by Enzo Zanelli t seems that whenever anyone starts a business the last thing they consider is their branding. This is totally understandable. The most important thing is perfecting the product, whether this is a tangible object, or some kind of service. More often than not branding is an afterthought, or worse something which is rushed into when the business takes off and written down telephone numbers are not enough. Branding can take on many guises, and can define a product, a service or a whole company. It can be as simple as a logo on a letterhead or can be a whole ethos, which pervades the way a business operates and is percieved. Everything from sight to sound, smell, taste and touch are the vehicles which can carry a brand, and whatever the medium, a brand is about communication. Whilst we would all love to start a company with a massive marketing budget, this is very rarely the case. But just because you can’t have a mega-budget advertising campaign and household recognition instantly this doesn’t mean that branding is something that you should get round to later. Firstly there is the name of your business. Even if it is just your own name, this says a lot about how you want to be perceived, so this should never be rushed. Find something that you will feel comfortable with in ten years time, usually not too gimmicky, as what may be in fashion now rarely lasts for long. Then it will be time to create an identity. This usually means a logo of some kind. These days most people feel comfortable using a computer and with the wealth of graphics packages on offer there may be a temptation to go it alone. Unless you are particulary visually creative, this can be a bit of a mistake. An unprofessional looking logo will always look bad and if you are asking someone to give you money for a

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service, this could just work against you. So it might be worth talking to a designer or design agency to see if they can help. They usually have services to suit different budgets and as with most things you get what you pay for. To make the creation of your logo as painless as possible it is best to approach the design stage with a tight brief. Be specific about how you want to be perceived; what do you want your potential customer to think when they see your logo amongst the hundreds of others that they come across every day. If you have a very specific idea in mind, let the designer know, but always offer them the option to come up with

One day your company “ might be recognised by a specific smell ”

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an idea of their own. This is what they do for a living and you might just be amazed at the way they have interpreted the brief. Without the brief though you will normally just get a nice looking logo which doesn’t best communicate your brand. At this early stage you could be considering how the logo will be applied across different media. Even if it is just your standard set of letterheads, compliment slips and business cards. Keep things simple, there usually isn’t a need to print on expensive, antique looking paper as this effect will be expensive and difficult to recreate when you move onto getting a website or commissioning a brochure. With modern digital printing technology you can print small batches of stationery, as low as 100 sheets, economically. Get a feel for how much you use before ordering 10,000 letterheads. With most correspondence being distributed by email these days you may be suprised how little

you need. Do you really need more than 250 business cards? One of the most important elements of your brand will be your website. Almost every company has one, even if it only contains a brief description and contact details. There are many levels of web design and a clear, well presented site will always work best in the early days. If you need to add masses of functionality then get the professionals in. But as before, always approach them with a detailed brief as costs can easily escalate if there is any confusion as to what is required. Once you have the basis of your brand you can then be more reactive. If you suddenly need to advertise, at least the logo is ready and as you have already written down how the business needs to be perceived the process should be less hit and miss. The same is true of creating any other literature, such as direct mail, brochures and leaflets. If the brand has been created correctly it should be adaptable and ready to be delivered in whatever medium is appropriate. Who knows, one day your company might be recognised by a specific smell. Now wouldn’t that be interesting. For more information about branding and visual communications email enzo@squareeyedesign.co.uk


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NLP

Feng Shui and NLP - a natural blend

By Lou and Bruce Stewart

Symbols hold great meaning for us and immediately link our conscious and unconscious minds. Think of a wedding band. The circle symbolises union and the ring finger represents commitment ymbols hold great meaning for us and immediately link our conscious and unconscious minds. Think of a wedding band. The circle symbolises union and the ring finger represents commitment. NLP takes symbols further through the use of anchoring and Symbolic Timelines (also known as Spatial Anchoring or Psycho-Geography). Feng Shui uses spatial anchors to create environmental balance. Infusing an environmental change with the intention of the desired outcome make Feng Shui adjustments very powerful. Since ancient times, the Chinese have used symbols. Readers of Chinese understand the written characters when communicating in any dialect. Feng Shui uses the symbol of wind (Feng) and water (Shui). The wind represents qualities that are felt but not seen and the water symbolises what can be seen and felt. The founders of Feng Shui recognised that environments have an energetic quality as well as being affected by physical things within them. Other ancient civilisations also noticed that each place on the earth had a special genius and soul of its own. The Romans identified this as “Genius Loci.” Carlos Castaneda also emphasised the importance of finding your spot. D.H. Lawrence said, “Every continent has its own great spirit of place... call it what you like, but the spirit of place is a great reality.”

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By honoring the sanctity of place, Feng Shui brings spatial sorting to a new level. Spaces are divided into a Ba-Gua with eight main sections (or guas) plus a center, totaling 9 areas. Each space in the Ba-Gua represents a specific aspect of life. (See Ba-Gua diagram) In NLP, each gua would be a submodality of the whole environmental space. These spaces are interrelated and intersupportive. In Feng Shui, each spatial area conducts the chi (energy or intention) of that specific gua. Remembering the NLP Eye Access charts can help you to picture the Ba-Gua. This arrangement of nine spaces is another surprising overlap of Feng Shui and NLP. Look at the Ba-Gua diagram and its symbolic meanings. Note the relationships inherent in proximity. To get a good feeling for Feng Shui, stand just inside your front door and hold the Ba-Gua map in front of you. Where does the door land on the bottom line of the Ba-Gua map? It will be in either the Self Cultivation, Career, or Helpful People/Travel area. Use the architectural front door to orient your Ba-Gua, rather than another door you may use for convenience. And if you are more familiar with another Feng Shui Ba-Gua model, use the one that resonates most with you.


NLP

Bedroom Ba-Gua The bedroom nurtures your receptive nature. Stand in the doorway looking in and hold the Ba-Gua map in front of you to see where the door lands. Map out the nine areas of the Ba-Gua for your bedroom. Consider the meanings behind the words and your associations with them. What would you like to change? Where are your favorite objects? Imagine something you would like to enhance in your life. Which area of the Ba-Gua does it relate to the most? Stand in that area and ask yourself what you could place in this area that would anchor your desired outcome and place that object in that gua. If you can’t actually place that object, set a card there with a description of your outcome. Check in with yourself after a few days. Do you notice any changes in relation to this issue?

Wealth

Fame

Red, green, purple

Red Fire Triangular

Family

Health

Children, Creativity

Green Wood Stripes,columns

Yellow, brown Earth Square objects

White, silver Metal Round objects

Self Cultivation

Career

Helpful People, Travel

Blue, green

Marriage Relationship

Blue, black Water Asymmetrical

Red, pink, white Pairs of objects

Grey

The Ba-Gua The Career area denotes our service in life and what we offer to the world. It represents our ability to connect with others and accomplish meaningful actions. What is your Career space saying to you? Is it neat or messy? Is it full of items you love or things that no longer seem relevant? What is its purpose in your household layout? Is there anything that you are tolerating here? This area is represented by the element of water. Fountains and aquariums are used to attract career success. Flowing water reminds us to be adaptable to reach any destination. When we are able to navigate obstacles undaunted, we remember that we are capable of adjusting to any challenge. Likewise, NLP’s Law of Requisite Variety expresses the value of adapting to the ever changing environments and situations we encounter. Flexibility, in many different settings, helps us develop valuable skills for work and life. Jane* called us because she was having trouble with her career. When we rang the bell, she came to the front door but the lock was jammed. Eventually, we had to use the side door to get in. As we discussed Jane’s situation, it became obvious that her stuck front door reflected her trapped feelings in a business situation involving a lawsuit. When she learned that her front door was in her Career gua, she quickly got the lock repaired. Combining NLP with Feng Shui offers greater congruence between your highest aspirations and the places you live, work and play. The effectiveness starts with your ability to connect with your Core Intention. Both arts begin with the mind’s intention to evaluate and improve the current situation. Feng Shui uses external environmental objects to symbolise, anchor and stimulate this desire to change. NLP focuses on the internal sensory cues (visual, auditory and kinesthetic) to represent and translate personal experience into the real world. You can simultaneously create an NLP anchor to supplement the Feng Shui anchor. For example, while holding your wrist, you may say, “This Feng Shui adjustment connects me to my highest good in

my Career (or other area) beginning now. I feel positive and inspired.” While holding your anchor, focus on how attaining this outcome will feel. Test all perspectives to ensure that the outcome feels congruent and ecological to you. Feng Shui and NLP can deepen the interaction between your surroundings (Genius Loci) and your inner genius. May all your adjustments and anchors bring you great joy, wisdom and health.

Combining NLP “ with Feng Shui offers greater congruence ”

Authors of Your Way Home The Psychology of Place, Inside & Out, Lou and Bruce Stewart lead workshops around the world. Visit www.LouandBruce.com to learn more about their approach.

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BUSINESS

It was the “ rapport that made all the difference ”

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BUSINESS

It’s all about

rapport Business coach Sonia Saxton explains to Joanna Goodman how rapport underpins her popular executive coaching programme or Sonia Saxton, effective business coaching is all about rapport. NLP tools and techniques are embedded in the systems and processes followed by everyone at her specialist executive coaching company in North Yorkshire. Rapport is also a key element in her coaching style which depends on gaining the confidence and trust of her clients. Saxton Partners organises one-to-one coaching and group training courses that help leaders and managers achieve better results by enhancing their coaching and communication skills.

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Guaranteed results Saxton Partners offers guaranteed results in just three two-hour sessions. How does this work? “When we first meet a client, we agree upfront what they want to achieve,” explains Saxton. “For instance, one managing director wanted to

improve his ability to present to large groups of people. We then work with the client to identify their desired outcomes. In this case we agreed that he would see himself address a large group confidently; he would hear himself use positive, engaging language; and he would receive positive feedback from at least three people in the audience that his style and delivery had improved noticeably. If he doesn’t get those results, he can have his money back. So far, nobody’s asked for their money back,” she adds. The next step is to agree a contract based on the agreed outcomes. This is reinforced at the first coaching session and subsequently through a series of quality checks. Saxton explains. “After each session we call the client to confirm that they are making progress and to find out what they think of their coach. Of course the call is made by someone else in the business,” she says. “If necessary, we then adjust the programme to make sure it meets their needs.” The three coaching sessions are usually six to

eight weeks apart, depending on each client’s schedule and the needs of their business. This allows clients to apply the skills that they have learnt and set the agenda for the next session. Every session is followed up by a separate quality check. In addition, every two weeks the coach phones the client for a chat. “It may seem like communication overkill, but by looking after our clients in this way, they know that we’re there for them,” says Saxton, adding that despite the ongoing evaluation, the actual content of the coaching sessions always remains confidential between the client and their coach. This structured, results-oriented approach means that Saxton’s services are sought after by leading pharmaceutical and manufacturing companies, among others. Her clients include Pfizer, Smith & Nephew, LG Philips and Parker Hannifin. “Busy directors are always looking for fast-track results,” she adds. Rapport makes all the difference Saxton is clearly a people person. She has a warm, engaging manner and combines a systematic approach to problem solving - she had a long career in change management before setting up Saxton Partners - with NLP training and a genuine sensitivity to the human issues that underpin business success. It was a mix up at the local garage that led Saxton to focus more sharply on developing rapport with her customers. “I was upset with my garage after they’d messed up the service on my car,” she says. “But a few days later, I received a call from them, explaining that they were doing a quality check. They asked me what had gone wrong, sympathised and apologised. They even called again a few weeks later to make sure that the car was still OK.

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BUSINESS

I felt so much better that I didn’t look for another garage. It was the rapport that made all the difference.” She immediately decided to find a way to integrate this element of client service into her own business and build rapport with her clients from the very first contact. A system based on values and beliefs The resulting system is based on Dr Philip Hayes’ method of assessing people’s values and beliefs, using open questions to determine what motivates them and identify their on-off switches. Saxton explains. “When people first contact us we ask them what they consider most important to the business. For example, if they say that they want to exceed their targets and beat the competition, we know that they’re focused on power and achievement. If they want to improve collaboration and networking, they’re communitarian. If they

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are concerned about the longterm future, they’re holistic.” With the client’s agreement, the responses are entered into a database and used to guide all future communications with that client. “For example, we don’t talk to a communitarian about meeting targets,” say Saxton. “It’s all about respecting what’s important to them. Every conversation is aligned with that client’s values and beliefs. This enables us to develop strong rapport.” The process helps Saxton and her colleagues to develop an intensive coaching relationship with their clients, building up sufficient trust to tackle both business and personal issues that can undermine their effectiveness in the workplace. Recently, one sales director asked Saxton to help her overcome a tendency to blush uncontrollably during board meetings. “She’d tried everything from herbal pills to breathing exercises,” says Saxton. “I realised that this was a subconscious reaction so I applied some NLP techniques to address the cause of the problem rather than try to deal with the symptoms. I took her into trance and found out that her blushing had been triggered by an event in her past. I then put in a wise person to give her advice and used timeline therapy to help her rewalk her path in life. When she came round she felt much better and had stopped blushing. We then had to see what happened at the next board meeting. And it worked! Four days later she rang to thank me for solving her problem in just one session. We used the remaining sessions to reinforce the learning.”

Business benefits Although all this rapport building may seem like a lot of extra effort, Saxton highlights the significant benefits that it brings in terms of business development. “Satisfied clients help to market the business by recommending our services,” she says. “Investing a few minutes to make a quick phone call is always time well spent. It’s far more effective than offering people free taster sessions because it shows people we care.”

Sonia Saxton’s Top Tips for successful coaching Record each client’s values and beliefs on a database. This provides a basis for all future communications.

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Keep in touch. Every minute taken to call is a minute invested in maintaining that connection. You will then be top of their list when they think about their business needs.

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Respond to clients’ requests within 24 hours. Exceed their expectations. If you tell people something will be done within the week, they are delighted when it’s done the next day!

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Offer clients access to something costs you little, but shows you care. e.g. free access to your resource library on a ‘return or invoice basis’

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Follow up coaching sessions with calls every two or three weeks. This shows your clients that you are there to support them as they make progress.

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Demonstrate your confidence in your own work by guaranteeing it.

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The next Coaching Diploma will be held in Harrogate on 19-23 April. For further information see www.saxtonpartners. co.uk, call 0845 2570036 or e-mail Sonia Saxton at smesaxton@saxtonpartners. co.uk


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TRAINING & WORKSHOPS

NLP Training with the Performance Partnership and David Shephard by Peter Strachan of The Tranceforming Team he first time that I heard the acronym “NLP” was in an Officers’ Mess Bar during some down time in a Military Training Exercise. I was serving as a Wing Commander in the Royal Air Force at the time and held an appointment in the Ministry of Defence. Chatting to a Royal Marine Lieutenant Colonel who had just completed his Master Practitioner Training with Performance Parnership, he was extolling the virtues of NLP and, in particular, the remarkable talent of David Shephard. He suggested that if I was interested in learning more about NLP I should contact their office and arrange to do a course called “Presenting Magically” - “a good introduction to NLP which would also polish up my platform skills” - very useful for a regular presenter and briefer. That’s how it all began! Six years later I have completed NLP Practitioner Training, NLP Master Practitioner Training, NLP Trainers’ Training, Coaching Skills for NLP’ers, Photo Reading™, Archetypal Branding, Hypnosis Trainers Training - all with David Shephard and The Performance Partnership plus Time Line Therapy™ Trainers Training with Tad James in the US. Of course I cannot speak for others, though a startling number of people have travelled the same path at the same time and, I believe, have got as much as I have from the learnings. For anyone considering training in NLP, I thought it might be worth recalling my experiences of the

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Spring 2007 - rapport

major trainings and why, both individually and collectively, David and the Trainings made such an impression on me. My first impression of David during “Presenting Magically” was frankly not good! When he started speaking I thought “oh dear, he seems a little slow and maybe even unsure of himself ”. Luckily it didn’t last long though (and, as those of you who have done the training or read the book will know, intentional!), as he soon collected the kinaesthetic amongst the group and dragged them into the pleasantly

As I drove up Chiswick High Street towards the Vencourt Hotel sometime in March 2004, I remember looking forward to Practitioner Training very much. I must admit that I felt slightly uneasy about not completing all of the required test questions though I had listened to the pre-course tapes and so had a fair idea of what to expect. I met David and the team of coaches as I entered the training room and immediately felt that I was in the right place at the right time. I was completely blown away by the training! The combination of NLP, Time

Be warned - life will “ never be the same again ” rapid fire visual world of people like me. For the next three days I was spellbound as David weaved his magic and challenged us to use our brains in a different way. We learned about representational systems, energy, metaphors and dozens of other skills and techniques from the fascinating world of NLP. We learnt about anchoring and how to use different parts of the stage for different learning processes. It was the most interesting, fascinating, thought provoking 3 day course I had ever done and it was also quite a challenge! David’s combination of humour, charm and depth of knowledge about NLP in the context of developing Presenting Skills was truly awesome.

Line Therapy™ and Hypnosis is quite literally mind bending. I don’t think that it is possible to change more neurological connections in 7 days than with The Performance Partnership’s NLP Practitioner Certification training. Be warned - life will never be the same again! I clearly remember David as being truly inspirational, having a huge depth of knowledge sprinkled with personal anecdotes made the whole experience great fun. Six months later, same place and many of the same people found ourselves checking in for the NLP Master Practitioner Training. Met on arrival by the Coaching Team and, having suffered for not bringing a complete


TRAINING & WORKSHOPS

test paper for Practitioner training, I had taken the trouble to finish the test paper! I remember really looking forward to the training though it was hard to imagine how anything was going to be more impressive than the NLP Practitioner Training. Wrong again... the Master Practitioner training is divided into 2 separate training weeks with a day off in the middle. Each week is balanced with the right mixture of theory and exercises and the whole thing is set up by David with the elegance and precision of a Swiss watch. The first week finishes with a board break and the second with a heavily supervised student to student Breakthrough Session. The whole thing was an amazing experience and a fantastic tool for personal empowerment. Assisted by the coaches and orchestrated by David in a unique stylish manner that made it easy to learn and great fun to be part of. I simply now had to do Trainers Training and I had to do it with The Performance Partnership. By now I was getting to know David and the team quite well as I had done

quite a bit of Coaching on other trainings. As an experienced presenter and trainer, I was looking forward to NLP Trainers’ Training and was pleased that a number of old friends were on the same course. Consistent with my Performance Partnership experience, the Training was another David Shephard tour de force - the better presenter you were, the harder you got pushed; when you needed help you got it and when your bar needed to be set higher, that’s exactly what happened. Recently I worked for a short time with The Performance Partnership to get some experience of the NLP Industry and got to know David Shephard the person rather than the stage presenter. Guess what? They are exactly the same! Unlike some presenters, David doesn’t change personality on and off stage. Clever, funny, generous and caring, though with a hard edge when required. David Shephard is without doubt the most amazing teacher I have met and The Performance Partnership’s brand of NLP is a fantastic way to learn about a fascinating subject.

Since doing Trainers’ Training I have left the Royal Air Force, formed my own Training and Coaching Company (www. thetranceformingteam.com.) and, with the continued guidance and advice of David Shephard and other colleagues in The Performance Partnership, have started running my own business. I have run 2 NLP Practitioner Certification trainings, modestly sized though with great feed back and I have done a number of Breakthrough Sessions as well as individual performance coaching with 2 professional golfers with great results. Yesterday I secured a 60 day training contract with a public sector organisation of 1000 people! Also planned for this year are another NLP Practitioner training in June and a sports coach performance certification for professional golfers in late April. Not only did I learn NLP and “a few platform skills”, what I learnt from The Performance Partnership and, with their ongoing support, I have been adequately armed with the skills and resources to change my career and get off to a running start! In keeping with that well - known phrase. “Just do it!” Peter Strachan of The Tranceforming Team Trainer of NLP, Hypnosis and Time Line Therapy™ www.thetranceformingteam.com enquiries@thetranceformingteam.com Tel: +44 (0) 7747 634397 0r +44 (0) 1296 586441

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DIARY

Diary of Events for Spring / Summer 2007 APRIL 07 NLP Practitioner - Module 1 7-8th April 2007 Staffordshire Inner Game 01839 808 065 Info@innergame.co.uk Welcome Your Hearts Desire A Two Day Evening Seminar with La Rue Eppler 18-19th April 2007 Chichester Emily and Roger Terry 01243 792122 emily@evolutiontraining.co.uk Accelerated NLP Practitioner Certification 15-21st April 2007 London Colette White 0207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com

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Spring 2007 - rapport

Education & Training NLP Diploma (Accredited Programme) 16-17th April 2007 Bradford Kevin Downsworth 01274 585160 kdownsworth.firstposition@ blueyonder.co.uk NLP Coaching Supervision 18th April 2007 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com Business Coaching Diploma 19-23rd April 2007 Harrogate North Yorkshire Sonia Marie Saxton 07932 637197 smesaxton@saxtonpartners.co.uk

Personal Evolution with La Rue Eppler 21st April 2007 Chichester Emily and Roger Terry 01243 792122 emily@evolutiontraining.co.uk

The Essential Listener with La Rue Eppler 22nd April 2007 Chichester Emily and Roger Terry 01243 792122 emily@evolutiontraining.co.uk

NLP Master Practitioner Module 1 20-27th April 2007 New Forrest Emma Sargent and Tim Fearon 01425 473203 emma@ambo.ltd.uk

NLP Déjà Vu Day Strategies & Modelling 23rd April 2007 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

Time Line Therapy® Practitioner 21-22nd April 2007 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 info@thelazarus.com

Modelling Excellence 27-30th April 2007 Manchester Andy Smith 0845 83 855 83 andy@practicaleq.com


DIARY

SoulTalk with La Rue Eppler 28th April 2007 Chichester Emily and Roger Terry 01243 792122 emily@evolutiontraining.co.uk Accelerated NLP Master Practitioner Certification 28th April - 11th May 2007 Nottingham Colette White 0207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com

MAY 07 Practitioner Foundation 7-8th May 2007 Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com Words That Change Minds - LAB Profile Practitioner Certification 9-11th May 2007 Haslemere, Surrey Grahame C Morgan-Watson 0844 477 0727 insights@metame.biz

NLP Diploma for Health Care Practitioners 24th May - 15th June 2007 London Suzanne Henwood 07723 602584 HenwoodAssociates@btinternet.com Master Practitioner - in TURKEY! 26th May - 9th June 2007 Istanbul, Turkey Ralph Watson 01788 576626 Ralph@dynamic-communication.com Accelerated NLP Practitioner Certification 26th May - 1st June 2007 Southampton Colette White 0207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com Certified NLP Sports Practitioner 31st May - 1st June 2007 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 info@thelazarus.com

JUNE 07

One day Introduction to NLP 12th May 2007 London Helen Drake 0208 995 2864 helen@pointtaken.com

Advanced Coaching 1-4th June 2007 Manchester Andy Smith 0845 83 855 83 andy@practicaleq.com

NLP Practitioner 12-18th May 2007 Sussex Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk

Coaching Skills for NLP’ers 2-3rd June 2007 London Performance Partnership 0208 992 9523 info@performancepartnership.com

NLP and Abundance Consciousness 13th May 2007 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

Selling Magically 4-5th June 2007 London Performance Partnership 0208 992 9523 info@performancepartnership.com

Dyslexia Coaching Programme 21-24th May 2007 Glasgow, Scotland Jeff Goodwin 0870 060 1549 jeff@nlpscotland.com

NLP Practitioner - Create Elegant Change - Module 1 8-11th June 2007 Chichester Emily and Roger Terry 01243 792122 emily@evolutiontraining.co.uk

Introduction to NLP 9th June 2007 London Helen Drake 0208 995 2864 helen@pointtaken.com

NLP Diploma - Part 1 23-24th June 2007 Middlesbrough Lisa Wake 01642 310022 awakenconsulting@aol.com

Master Practitioner Change Management course 11-13th June 2007 Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com

Introduction to NLP 27th June Middlesbrough Lisa Wake 01642 310022 awakenconsulting@aol.com

NLP for Trainers and Training 14-15th June 2007 Bath Faith Tait 01225 703247 faith@faithtaitnlp.co.uk Master Hypnotist- Master Classes with Roger Terry 15th June 2007 Chichester Roger Terry 01243 792122 roger@evolutiontraining.co.uk Presenting Magically 16-18th June 2007 London Performance Partnership 0208 992 9523 info@performancepartnership.com Master Practitioner 16th-24th June 2007 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com NLP Coaching Supervision 18th June 2007 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com Transforming Self-Concept 22-24th June 2007 Manchester Andy Smith 0845 83 855 83 andy@practicaleq.com

Accelerated NLP Practitioner Certification 23-29th June 2007 London Colette White 0207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com Master Practitioner 30th June - 13th July 2007 Sussex Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk NLP Practitioner 30th June - 6th July 2007 London Performance Partnership 0208 992 9523 info@performancepartnership.com

JULY 07 Certified NLP Practitioner for Business 5-31st July 2007 Institute of Directors, Reading Darryl Scott 0845 089 5229 daryll@mynoggin.co.uk NLP Practitioner intensive 9-15th July 2007 Brighton Susanna Bellini 01904 636216 info@bronze-dragon.com Trainer Training 14-18th July 2007 West Midlands Ralph Watson Ralph@dynamic-communication.com

To get your workshops and events listed in Rapport, log in as a member to www.anlp.org and enter your events into the online diary. Every issue, online events listed for the next 3 months will be included in Rapport.

rapport - Spring 2007

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Awaken School of Outcome Oriented Psychotherapies Limited UKCP Accreditation Pathway t Are you interested in becoming a UKCP Accredited Psychotherapist? t Are you interested in adding to your portfolio of skills as a therapist? t Would you like your CPD to be counted towards Accreditation? Awaken School (formerly Centre Training) is a Member Organisation of UKCP and currently provides training for students who are working towards UKCP accreditation. This 4 year academic pathway, in addition to your vocational supervision and client contact hours, will provide the necessary expertise to take your practice to the next level. Courses are available as stand alone or as a full pathway.

t Practitioner in NLP (Psychotherapy) t Master Practitioner in NLP (Psychotherapy) t Foundation in Clinical Hypnotherapy t Intermediate in Clinical Hypnotherapy t Advanced Patterns in Hypno-psychotherapy Students who may have already taken suitable training may be eligible for APL. Such requests are treated on a case by case basis. Please contact the office for further information.

MSc in Psychotherapy Are you interested in a MSc in Psychotherapy? Awaken School are teaming up with a University to develop a pathway to a MSc in psychotherapy. To express interest in the programme, please contact the office on the number below. Woodlands, Sneck Gate Lane, Newby, Middlesbrough, TS8 0AH Tel: 01642 310022, Mobile: 07929 170088 Email: awakenschool@aol.com Website: www.hypnotherapy-training.co.uk


BOOK REVIEWS

rapport book review Niche Marketing for Coaches Hannah McNamara £14.99, Thorogood When I was given this book to review, I wished I’d had it nearly 3 years ago when I was just starting out. But McNamara blends practical marketing and publicity advice for coaches at each (pre-launch, launch and maturity) phase of their career. One of The Coaching Academy’s biggest success stories, McNamara coaches their current coaching students in marketing. Niche Marketing for Coaches allows people from other coaching and NLP backgrounds to benefit from her expertise as she guides them through the practicalities of marketing, sales, PR and even networking. McNamara says that many of the coaches she meets want to be “The next” Anthony Robbins or Fiona Harrold. Asking why so few want to be the

best they can be she challenges readers to discover and play to their own strengths. Up until now, I’ve been happily combining numerous niches (writers, entrepreneurs, coaches...) but through reading this book, realised that the heart of all my coaching is helping clients build confidence and self-esteem. So inspired by McNamara, I’ve started emphasising Confidence Coaching on my marketing. And even in the past few days, I’ve noticed a boost. Unless you’re already turning clients away on a daily basis, I’d recommend this book for any coach or NLP Practitioner. Whether you’re just starting out or have been coaching for decades, it’s the kind of gem you can get new ideas from each time you pick it up.

NLP and Coaching for Health Care Professionals: Developing Expert Practice Suzanne Henwood and Jim Lister £24.99, Wiley This is an excellent book, bringing NLP alive for those already working in the health care professions and those just entering their careers. Full of case studies showing the practical application of NLP tools across the health care environment, this book has the potential to empower individuals and teams to re look at what they really do in clinical practice and explore how they can be even more effective in ensuring high quality patient care. The book is written in such a way that it is accessible to all, it is very much a practical toolkit which can be dipped in and out of, as well as read from start to finish by those wishing to follow a ‘process of development’.

Although a prior understanding of some NLP and Coach U techniques might be helpful, it is not required in order to interact with the tools and techniques outlined. The tools are clearly explained and the use of the associated website to provide blank versions of some of the tools is a real added benefit. As both a health care practitioner and a user of health care services, I would want the staff treating me to have read and used the tools outlined in this book as part of their Continuing Professional Development (CPD). This is a must for any one who is passionate about really providing expert patient care and managing and developing effective health care services.

NLP and Coaching for Health Care Professionals DE VELOPING EXPE RT PR AC

TICE

SUZANNE HENW OOD JIM LISTER

Join the Rapport Book Review Panel In the world of NLP we all love a good book and have a constant thirst for more knowledge and skills. To help quench some of that thirst have you considered becoming a member of the Rapport Book Review Panel? This would give you

the ideal opportunity to read and review some of the leading self-help, personal development, coaching and business publications as and when they are published. Find out more by contacting us on 0208 275 1175 or by email to members@anlp.org

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AUTHOR INTERVIEW

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Spring 2007 - rapport


AUTHOR INTERVIEW

Octavius Black All present and connect! Octavius Black, managing director and co-founder of The Mind Gym outlines his winning formula for building Rapport. Joanna Goodman reports he Mind Gym is more than a book; it’s a self-help toolkit which includes access to interactive learning resources and membership of an extremely active online community. According to The Mind Gym’s founder and co-author, Octavius Black, its mission is to help people use their minds more effectively to get more out of life and give more to others. Inside each book is a code which gives the reader free access to the Mind Gym’s website - a virtual gym membership - where you can access the equipment and resources that match your needs. You can either choose to discuss an issue with others in the forums or work through it on your own with online tools and techniques. In addition to online guidance and advice for individuals and organisations, the business section of the website offers organisations more than 80 on-site 90-minute workouts, 45-minute sprints and boosters to reinforce previous learning. The Mind Gym runs these bite-size face-to-face training sessions with colourful titles like, ‘Me, Me, Me’, ‘Create your own Luck’ and even ‘Rapport’, all over the world - from LA to Tokyo - and so far, about 150,000 people have participated.

T

The decade of the mind The Mind Gym evolved from thinking about the way trends and fashions develop. “The 80s

was the decade of the body,” says Black. “For the first time, people were exercising for reasons other than sport. The 90s was the decade of the soul, with renewed interest in yoga, feng shui and alternative medicine. We hypothesised, therefore, that the 2000s would be the decade of the mind. So society’s focus has shifted from the body to the spirit and now to the mind.” The Mind Gym was designed specifically to respond to the desire of people in the 21st century to develop and improve their minds, and to date the book has sold over 250,000 copies worldwide and has been translated into 23 languages. Indeed, it was number two in Amazon’s bestsellers list (number one was Harry Potter). A second book, ‘Give Me Time’ was published in 2006 offers tools and tactics again supported by online resources - to address another modern dilemma. Online workouts Black explains that the books and website were developed simultaneously and designed to complement each other. “We wanted to give readers something extra,” he explains. “If you like, when you buy ‘The Mind Gym’ you’re buying membership to a gym rather than just a book.” The fact that The Mind Gym book and website represent an interactive toolkit rather than a conventional self-help book means that

you can either reading it in a linear fashion or use it to address specific concerns. You can choose from four standard programmes: 1. Get what you want For people who know what they want, but don’t know how to get it 2. Be liked For people who would like more friends, allies and acquaintances 3. Be respected For people who want to be admired, or at least treated as an equal 4. Ride the storm For people who want to be ready to deal with unexpected challenges Alternatively, you can complete a questionnaire and use the results to create your own tailor-made programme. Applied psychology Black’s background is in business communications, while his co-founder Seb Bailey trained as a psychologist. They are also advised by a team of four psychology professors. So although The Mind Gym is written in an immensely readable and gently humorous style, which touches on countless common cultural references - well-known TV programmes and personalities, movies and pop songs - it is founded on serious scientific research, which is referenced periodically. “We’ve recently launched the largest prize in Europe for new research in practical psychology which is being sponsored by The Times,” adds

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AUTHOR INTERVIEW

Black. “We very much want to put back into the academic world as well as draw from it.” Building rapport Like NLP, The Mind Gym’s roots are in applied psychology, so there is a close correlation between its content and NLP tools and tactics. For example, the Rapport workout is based on the same research findings on matching and mirroring that underpins NLP techniques. The Mind Gym has distilled achieving rapport in the workplace down to four key elements: 1. Matching and mismatching; 2. Likes and wishes; 3. A purpose beyond pleasing others; 4. Confident uncertainty. The workout includes a practical exercise on matching which highlights how our body language affects the way we relate to others. “We get participants to agree on something,” explains Black. “First they have to agree while matching and then while mismatching. They are then asked to disagree on something. Half

rapport even when you disagree. “The best way to reject a suggestion or idea is to respond by identifying three things you like about it followed by three things you wish were different,” he explains. “Rather than simply stating what’s wrong with their idea, if you tell them three things that you like about it, they’re much more likely to listen and you’re much more likely to build rapport with them. But it’s crucial to remember that it’s not about likes and dislikes; it’s about likes and wishes.” Creating presence Many people find it difficult to connect with senior people in the workplace. Black explains that this is a matter of building presence, which in many ways is the opposite of achieving rapport. “It often involves a lot of mismatching,” he says. “Our 90-minute workout on building presence teaches people to align their mismatching in order to make an impact. The key is to have a purpose beyond pleasing the other person.” While NLP tends to focus on aligning yourself with other people’s model of the world in order to connect with them and build rapport, Black believes that creating presence requires having a sense of purpose beyond pleasing others. “If you’re trying to convince your boss to do something, your purpose may be to improve efficiency or client service. You’re not simply trying to convince your boss that what you suggest is the right thing to do,” he explains. “It’s therefore important not to give the impression that their view is the only one that counts, but rather explain how you’re proposal will help the organisation achieve its objectives. The key is to have a sense of direction and not to be forever trying to please people. We call it confident uncertainty. That means being confident that you can deal with whatever situation arises, while acknowledging

Creating presence requires “ having a sense of purpose beyond pleasing others ”

the time they have to match and half the time they have to mismatch. This demonstrates that we tend to feel that the other person agrees when they’re matching us, irrespective of whether or not they’re actually agreeing. Similarly, we tend to feel that the other person is disagreeing when they’re mismatching.” The aim is to raise people’s consciousness of their own and other people’s body language and to demonstrate that, so long as you don’t overdo it, matching and mirroring tends to encourage positive feelings in others. Likes and wishes Another technique is designed to maintain

46 |

Spring 2007 - rapport

that you don’t know everything. People often feel nervous and enter a discussion feeling that they have lower status because they don’t have all the answers. It’s important to start off by matching status.” Another common challenge is to avoid envisaging worst-case scenarios. “By and large, people worry too much about catastrophic fantasies,” says Black, reassuringly. “It’s better to just give things a go.” The Mind Gym is an easy read, explaining the often complex concepts of applied psychology in a straightforward, easy-listening way and using them to address every day worries - being delayed by traffic, facing a big credit card bill, delivering bad news or coping with a sick relative. It’s full of interesting anecdotes and the ideal travelling companion as you can dip in and out of it. But the concept comes into its own when you log onto the website, which reinforces the resources in the book and brings them to life. For example, visualisation - another NLP tool - is demonstrated extremely effectively by a short recording called ‘Now wash your hands’, which I found a welcome respite from the keyboard. As well as offering entertaining, interactive tools to help you connect with yourself through questionnaires, online analysis and fun - for instance you can design your own online persona - The Mind Gym website also provides a channel for readers to connect with each other and share advice opinions and inspiration: the community aspect of a health club without the communal changing rooms, as one commentator wittily puts it. This includes a ‘Like Minds’ section, where you can communicate with other people who share your interests. Unsurprisingly, the most common interest is psychology and hundreds of people log on every day either to write blogs or post comments on the various forums. “Anyone can sign up on the website for free, so readers of Rapport can sign up, meet other people, share ideas and learn,” says Black. “The magic is that we’re all learning from each other.” The Mind Gym: wake your mind up, £12.99, Time Warner books www.themindgym.com


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| 47


REGIONAL GROUPS

rapport networking contact Practice Group of the month

Michael Spence talks about NLP in Edinburgh

LP from the heart and from the heart of Scotland’s capital, that is what the Edinburgh Centre of Excellence practice group is all about. Formed in 2002 and led by Michael Spence, the group is open to anyone who shares an interest in NLP or even just a curiosity. It’s also a great platform for support for those going through both modular Practitioner and Master Training programmes. The group meets on the first Friday of every month from 7.00 till 9.00 in Edinburgh. The topics and subjects discussed and practiced are decided by those attending to avoid becoming a study group. The discussions are varied, lively, informative, thought provoking with lots of fun and laughter along the way. Yes, NLP can be fun and we have that in abundance! With NLP being an never ending journey we will be NLP’ing forever! What a lovely thought...

N

England - North

Newcastle Upon Tyne

Harrogate Practice Group

Tel: 0191 456 3930 Mob: 0777 228 1035

Elizabeth Pritchard Tel: 01326 212 959 elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com

Philip Brown

An off-shoot of the group is the Taster Evenings to welcome people who have never heard of NLP let alone know what it is. These sessions are informative, fun and give people a few tasty bites to take away and enjoy. 2007 sees further development with our NLP Picnic - an open invitation to bring your family and your picnic and have a bit of fun with NLP. We will also be providing A Taste Of NLP - 2 hours sessions during the Edinburgh International Festival. Together with the launch of our Glasgow and Perth groups it is another challenge for this year. So, if you are in Scotland get in touch and visit us. You can be assured of a very warm welcome. Michael is a Certified NLP Trainer and can be contacted on 0131 664 7854 or enquiries@msnlp.co.uk. My warmest wishes to you all. Michael Spence

England - South

Hants - NLP South

Bedfordshire

Tel: 01794 390 651

Tel: 01767 640956

Email: heatherapy@aol.com www.nlp-south.org.uk

Email: info@gwiztrainig.com www.gwiztraining.com

Hertfordshire

Email: Awakenconsulting@aol.com www.awakenconsulting.co.uk

Berks - Reading

Your Life Matters NLP & Hypnosis practice group Mick McEvoy

North Yorkshire, Harrogate

Tel: 01189 831659/ 01189 835 202 Mob: 07778 150641

North Yorkshire Lisa & Mark Wake

Melody Cheal

Tel: 016242 310 022

Lancaster Practice Group Dave Allaway Tel: 01524 847 070 E: dave@depthfour.com www.depthfour.com

Sonia Marie Saxton Tel: 07932 637197

Lancs - Nr Clitheroe Dawn Haworth Tel: 01254 824 504 Email: admin@nlpand.co.uk www.nlpand.co.uk

Email: smesaxton@saxtonpartners. co.uk

North Cumbria - Carlisle Anne Munro-Kua & Adrian Banger Tel: 01228 517 716

Leeds - West Yorkshire Liz Tolchard Tel: 01943 873 895 Mob: 07909 911 769 Email: liztolchard@hotmail.com

Manchester Business NLP and Emotional Intelligence Group Andy Smith Tel: 0845 83 855 83 Email: andy@practicaleq.com www.manchesternlp.co.uk

Manchester NLP Group Gary Plunkett Tel: 08707 570292 Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk nwnlpgroups@aol.com

48 |

Spring 2007 - rapport

Nigel Heath

Email: anne@annemunro-kua.com www.annemunro-kua.com

Anne-Marie Halliwell

Email: amh@cmcgconsultancy.com www.cmcg-nlp.com

Tel: 0208 387 0277 Mob: 07973 386 639 Email: mick.mcevoy1@ntlworld.com

London - Hampstead Najma Zaman

Bucks - Milton Keynes Michael Beale

Tel: 020 8926 1297 mob: 07950477318

Tel: 01908 506563 Mob: 07944 388621

Email: firstpath@btinternet.com

Email: michaelbeale@ppimk.com www.ppimk.com

London - Central Adrian Hope-Lewis

North West & North Wales (Chester)

Bucks NLP & Coaching

Tel: 07970 639552 Mob: 07970 639552

Alison Matthews

www.nlpgroup.freeserve.co.uk

Gary Plunkett

Tel: 07976 246151

Tel: 08707 570 292

Email: alisonbmatthews@yahoo.co.uk

Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk nlp4fun@aol.com

London - Central

Chiswick

(Business) Mark Underwood

Jonathan Bowder

Tel: 020 7249 7472

York Susanna Bellini & Philip Callaghan Tel: 01904 636 216 Email: info@bronze-dragon.com www.bronze-dragon.com/nlp_group. shtml

Tel: 0208 992 9523 Email: Jonathan@performancepartners hip.com www.performancepartnership.com The Performance Partnership NLP group run by Jonathan Bowder

London East - Stratford, E15 Sharon Eden Tel: 020 8597 9200 Email: sharon.eden@womenofcourage. co.uk


REGIONAL GROUPS

London NLP & Hypnosis Practice Group

Sussex - Brighton

Bath NLP Skills Builder

Katie Bickerdike

Ben Reeve

Phillip Holt

Tel:01903 821 172 Mob: 07903 564 760 Email: katie@sussex.co.uk www.sussex.co.uk/nlp

Tel: 01823 334 080

Tel: 08451 306213 Mob: 07061 003 003 Email: enquiries@nlp-london.com www.nlp-london.com

Sussex - Chichester

Email: benjamino_32@hotmail.com www.idevelop.co.uk

Bristol David Griffiths

London - Central/North

Roger and Emily Terry

Tel: 01179 423 310

Practitioners and above only Jeremy Lazarus

Tel: 01243 792 122 Mob: 07810 876 210

Email: david@metamorphosis.me.uk

Email: info@evolutiontraining.co.uk www.evolutiontraining.co.uk

Cornwall Practice Group

Tel: 020 8349 2929 Email: Jeremy@thelazarus.com www.thelazarus.com

London West - Richmond NLP Group (Skills and Practice Group & Speaker Sessions) Henrietta Laitt Tel: 0208 874 8203 Mob: 07880 614 040 Email: henrietta@resultsfor success.com www.resultsforsuccess.com

North London NLP Tom MacKay Tel: 07815 879 055 Email: tom@mackaysolutions.co.uk www.northlondonnlp.co.uk

Oxford Jan Freeston Tel: 01865 516 136 Janinefreeston@aol.com

South East London & City

Sussex - Worthing Email: jim@espconsultancy.co.uk

West Sussex - Chichester Andrew T. Austin Email: andrew@23nlpeople.com www.nlpstudygroup.com

England - East Tel: 07711 711 123 Email: phil@excitant.co.uk www.cambsnlp.co.uk

Colchester NLP Group Julian Campbell Tel: 01473 326980 Mob: 07710 781782 Email: nlp@lifechangingtherapies.co.uk www.lifechangingtherapies.co.uk/ colnlp.html

Essex - Southend

Email: londonpractice@psithinking. co.uk www.psithinking.co.uk/londonnlp practicegroup.htm www.ultimatecalm.com

Pauline Oliver

Tel: 07747 607 717 Email: elizabeth@crestcoaching.com www.crestcoaching.com

South Croydon David Hamilton

Tel: 01702 203465

Ipswich Steve Marsden Tel:01473 214923 (Steve) Email: steve_marsden@btopenworld. com

Redbridge - Ilford

Tel: 01803 866706/01803 323885

Devon - Torquay Tel: 0781 354 9073

Devon & Cornwall NLP Practice Group Nick Evans Tel: 01752 245 570 Mob: 07832 357 208

Tel:01905 352 882 Email: sharon@SCRassociates.com info@centralnlp.co.uk www.SCRassociates.com

Scotland Aberdeen Christine Burgess Tel: 01309 676 004 Email: nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk

Edinburgh Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence Tel: 0131 664 7854 msnlp@btconnect.com

Edinburgh NLP Practice Group Patrick Wheatley & Sheena Wheatley Tel: 07765244030/ 0131 664 4344 Email: wheatley.co@btconnect.com sheena@changingperceptions.org.uk www.changingperceptions.org.uk

Email: nick@nlp-southwest.co.uk www.nlp-southwest.co.uk

Glasgow

Dorset

Tel: 01236 610 949 Mob: 07916 275 605

John Chisholm or Brian Morton

Mina McGuigan Email: mina@nlpacademyscotland.co.uk www.nlpacademyscotland.co.uk

Tel: 01202 42 42 50 Email: john@creative-leadership.co.uk bmhrd@btinternet.com www.nlpdorset.co.uk

England - Midlands East Midlands NLP Group William Wood Tel: 01332 347141 x2556/ 01332 669364

Midlands - Birmingham

Email: glenda.yearwood@redbridge. gov.uk www.redbridge.gov.uk

Mandy Ward

England - West

Sussex - Brighton

Avon - Bath

Email: enquiries@nlpworld.co.uk www.nlpworld.co.uk www.nlp-brighton-assoc.org

Alice Llewellyn & Anna Scott-Heyward

Tel: 020 8708 3876

Email: davidh@realnlp.co.uk www.nlpacademy.co.uk

Tel: 0800 074 6425

Devon - South-West (totnes) NLP Support Group

Sharon Rooke & David Smallwood

Glasgow - NLP in Education Jeff Goodwin Tel: 0870 060 1549/0141 248 6484 Email: jeff@nlpscotland.com www.nlpscotland.com

Inverness (Highlands of Scotland) Rosie O’Hara Tel: 01309 676 004 Email: nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk

Glenda Yearwood

Tel: 020 8686 9952

Association of NLP Practitioners Terry Elston

elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com

Phil Jones

Tel: 07930 275 223

Elizabeth Petch & Richard Hagan

Tel: 01326 212 959

Chris Williams

Cambridgeshire

Simon Hedley

South London NLP Practice Group

Elizabeth Pritchard

West Midlands Worcestershire

Philippe Roy Tel: 01225 404 050 Email: pr@in-focus.org www.bathnlp.co.uk

Tel: 0121 625 7193 Mob: 07740 075669

Wales

Email: mandy.ward3@virgin.net

Shropshire & Mid Wales Practice Group

Northants - Northampton

Tel: 01743 361133

Ron Sheffield Tel: 01604 812800

Nick Greer Email: nlpgroup@nickgreer.com

www.nickgreer.com

Email: ronald.sheffield@virgin.net www.nlpgroups.org

Nottingham Timothy Morrell Tel: 07810 484 215 Email: tim@focushigher.co.uk www.focushigher.co.uk

Practice Groups meet regularly and give you the chance to share experiences with like minded individuals and fellow professionals. They also offer you the opportunity to further your knowledge and add to your Continual Professional Development (CPD) through informed lectures and workshops. For further information on the Practice Groups listed, please log on to our website, www.anlp.org If you would like to add your Practice Group to this list or change existing details, please contact Lala on 020 8275 1175 or email members@anlp.org.

rapport - Spring 2007

| 49


ENDNOTE

Non-consensual coaching How to avoid potential pitfalls and handle intrusive networkers gracefully by Eve Menezes Cunningham ave you ever struggled to hide a reflexive flinch when someone tells you that they are a business coach at a networking event? A life coach and business coach myself, I finally understand why so many people are wary. At a recent event, an executive coach kept interrupting the speaker and everyone else in the group with incessant “insights” and “challenges”. After an exhausting few hours, I realised that he’d been trying to impress everyone with his dynamic approach. Instead, he had alienated most of the group (including other coaches like myself). Coaching is mainly about listening and asking the right kind of questions. Clients have to be incredibly motivated to make lasting changes so this kind of ambush was not the best formed outcome. Yet many coaches fall into this

H

50 |

Spring 2007 - rapport

trap (as do, to a lesser degree, therapists who want to fix everyone, accountants who think nothing of asking strangers about their earnings and so on) when polite conversation would leave a much better impression. If you’re cringing with recognition, don’t worry. Most coaches and NLP Practitioners are motivated by a desire to help other people. It’s just a matter of making sure that your help is wanted. Next time you talk to someone at a networking event - or even in your home - remember to listen more than you talk. As the old expression goes, we have two ears and one mouth and should use them accordingly. Be aware of any urges you have to jump in with suggestions and advice but don’t give into them unless you’re specifically asked. Act as if the person you’re talking to is already a client. You wouldn’t boss a client around -

you’d encourage and support them in finding their own solutions. Use your highly developed listening skills to let networkers open up to you, if they want to, at their own pace. This is far more likely to leave them with a positive impression of you. And if they decide they want coaching in the future, they’ll remember the great rapport they had with you too, as they think about how easy it was to talk to you. The last thing you want is for people to feel hassled or bullied. And if you’re ever on the receiving end of some nonconsensual coaching (and running away isn’t an option) take a deep breath and remember that whatever they’re saying about your life isn’t actually about you - they don’t know you. Treat it as you would any kind of feedback. If they say something useful that you want to take from it, great. If not, don’t waste too much energy

thinking about it - let it go. If this feels impossible, smile sweetly and simply say that you don’t need / already have a coach. In my recent situation, although I remained outwardly polite and interested, I noticed myself becoming increasingly irritated and even defensive while the compulsive coach’s attention was focused on my (unknown to him) life. But when he focused on another networker, I realised that it was just his way. With a couple of surreptitious deep breaths, my irritation turned to amusement. I watched admiringly as the other networker kept repeating that she was perfectly happy with the way her business was working at the moment. This reminded me that changing our response to things is a powerful choice. When I became the focus again later on, my change in attitude and remaining amusement meant that he quickly moved on to someone else.



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