Rapport 15 - Spring 2009

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ISSUE FIFTEEN

SPRING 2009

Isabel Losada

on Enlightenment

Make Laughter Your Best Medicine

Shining a Light Marianne Williamson

Seven Practices of Transformational NLP John Seymour

THE MAGAZINE FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

SUBSCRIPTION ONLY



contents

spring 2009

4 DEBATE Social Media Marketing

42

6 News Anatomy of a Plane Crash Pt. 2 8 Basic NLP

Defining Your Goals

Welcome to the Spring issue of Rapport.

9 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

I may be biased (!), but I think this issue of Rapport is just fantastic. There are so many inspiring and motivating articles, I’m not sure where to begin.

Marianne Williamson is someone I have admired for years, and I do have her famous passage from ‘A Return to Love’ pinned up above my desk to act as daily inspiration, so I was thrilled when Eve interviewed her (p24). As if that wasn’t enough inspiration for one issue, John Seymour shares his thoughts on ‘Seven Practices of Transformational NLP’ in a special feature (p32). Imagine how much more we could all enrich our lives by taking notice of his pearls of wisdom. Then there is Joe Cheal’s fascinating article on Neuro Linguistic Dreaming (p18)...and Andy’s call to action for all Social Media Marketeers (p4)...and Paul’s passionate piece about the Magician’s Apprentices (p20)...and Greg’s modelling project in the Kalahari (p14)...Gosh, I feel like the child in the sweet shop, with so much to choose from. Thankfully, its all packed into this issue and I can read them all at my leisure – I haven’t got to choose!! Please do take the time to complete the Rapport survey included this issue (or complete it online by following the link on our website, www.anlp.org. Also visit our website to check out the new online sample of Rapport. From Summer 2009, we will be putting the whole issue online, so that even more people will be able to enjoy reading about the positive benefits and applications of NLP and coaching. Its one of my New Year’s Resolutions to laugh every day (p28). I reckon I have managed to keep that resolution so far, and with so much in my life to be grateful for, its going to be easy to keep it up for the rest of this year. Until next time

Karen x

Expect the Unexpected

10 NLP

12

Frank Bourke

12 COLUMN

Presuppositions of NLP

14 NLP

Stone Age NLP

18 LIFESTYLE

Neuro-linguistic Dreaming

20 EDUCATION

28

Magician’s Apprentices

22 INTERNATIONAL

Israel

24 CELEBRITY

Marianne Williamson

26 COACHING Lifesong 28 HEALTH

36

Cover stories

Make Laughter Your Best Medicine

32 NLP

40 RESEARCH A Brilliant Tool?

36 CELEBRITY AUTHOR

42 TRAINING & WORKSHOPS

24

The Seven Practices of Transformational NLP Isabel Losada

38 BUSINESS Hertfordshire County Council

DR. Susi Strang

44 DIARY

48 AUTHOR INTERVIEW

Judy Rees & Wendy Sullivan

52 REGIONAL GROUPS 54 ENDNOTE

What is NLP?

47 BOOK REVIEWS

Editorial Team: Caitlin Collins, Andy Coote, Eve Menezes Cunningham Team@rapportmag.com, 0845 053 1162 Art Editor: Enzo Zanelli Advertising: David Hammond david@rapportmag.com, 0845 053 1189 Membership, subscriptions and back issues: Lala Ali Khan Members@anlp.org, 0845 053 1162

Publisher: Karen Moxom karen@rapportmag.com 0845 053 1162 Company Reg No. 05390486 Phoenix Publishing Ltd 9 Arlingham House, St Albans Rd, South Mimms EN6 3PH Rapport published by Phoenix Publishing on behalf of ANLP. Design: Square Eye Design

DISCLAIMER The views within this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, nor does the publisher endorse the products or services promoted in the magazine. Articles are for information only and intent is to inform. Readers should seek professional advice before adopting any suggestions or purchasing any products herein.

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DEBATE

Social Media Marketing Online Social Media (see box for my definition) has been picking up speed in early 2009. Facebook became the largest worldwide social network in mid 2008 and is growing fast. Micro blogging service Twitter is also growing rapidly with a threefold increase in traffic this year and with celebrity members like Stephen Fry and Jonathan Ross giving it profile in the market. Andy Coote asks what that means for the Personal Development community.

A

s Social Media use grows, so the purpose for which it is used is changing. Using Social Media for marketing is growing generally. I’ve seen a number of people from the Personal Development community amongst the users of a variety of Social Sites. Are they using Social Media Marketing (SMM) and, if so, how they are approaching that? The people interviewed for this article are a self-selecting sample as they were all approached online either through Facebook or Twitter. All are using Social Media for a variety of reasons, including marketing, and all have different approaches. I also spoke to Nikki Pilkington, a marketing consultant who is building a significant reputation in this area of marketing. Do they have a strategy? Although she has a problem with the word itself, Nikki Pilkington does feel that a strategy is important. “Unless you know what you are trying to achieve, you’ll never know if it worked.” she says. The approach of “try, test and measure” is what makes the difference. Make incremental changes and don’t do many things at once. Unless you are tracking the outcomes very well, you won’t be able to tell which worked and will end up scrabbling in the dark.” Of the other participants, Adam Eason and Alan Jones feel that they are approaching Social Media Marketing (SMM) strategically whilst Andy Duffy and Judy Rees admit to being more tactical and opportunistic in their approach. Andy Smith doesn’t feel that he does a lot of marketing of any description (though that is changing). “I’m using Social Networks mainly for keeping in touch with people. I’m not being

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disciplined enough yet to use them for event marketing.” He is using Twitter “to bounce ideas and discover new thought. Twitter seems to have a high proportion of my target market – intelligent and friendly individuals - and I’m now trying out some ideas there.” In contrast, Adam Eason has a process that works well for him and which, with appropriate

WHAT IS SOCIAL MEDIA Social Media includes a number of different services, most of them delivered across the Web. They include: Online Social (and business) networks such as Facebook (www.facebook.com), Linkedin (www.linkedin.com), Ecademy (www.ecademy.com), Xing (www.xing.com) and NLP Connections (www.nlpconnections.com). Micro Blogging site Twitter (www.twitter.com) where posts are limited to 140 characters. Bookmarking sites where you share your favourites like Digg (www.digg.com), Delicious (www.delicious. com) and Social Median (www.socialmedian.com). Article submission sites of which there are far too many to list Auction sites, the most popular of which is Ebay (www.ebay.com)

tweaks, he feels would work for others, too. It does, he warns, require “hard work and a disciplined approach. But it will pay back the effort.” It begins with a reading list that is extracted from a number of sources using Google Reader. From the ideas prompted by that material, he writes a blog each morning, sets up trackbacks so that he can see who also blogs about his article and tags it on sites like Digg and Delicious. A process automatically adds the blog to Facebook, announces it in Twitter and links it into FriendFeed. “I go through this process rigorously every day,” he says. The end result is that he gets comments and starts discussions in a number of different places. “You do need to respond to comments in all those places – like Facebook, the members area of my blog and on Friendfeed. If you pitch the article right and express an opinion, you will begin to engage with more and more people who find what you are writing about interesting and, possibly, challenging. It is about building a reputation within a niche.” When writing articles or ‘tweeting’ (as it is known) in Twitter, or simply commenting on others’ posts, it is important to be yourself and, where possible, to be congruent. People are buying an experience”, says Andy Duffy, “and also buying into you. My approach to Practitioner training is less sitting and talking and more doing. We go out into Lincoln and use practical NLP skills in everyday surroundings. My posts are also about doing things. I always end my NLP tips with a question or a challenge to try something out.” “NLP is about elegant communications,” adds Adam Eason. “SMM


DEBATE is an opportunity to demonstrate why people should choose to work with you. It allows you to be attractive in your own way.” Judy Rees sees SMM as a way of long-term relationship building. “I met Andy Smith online 5 years ago and we’ve exchanged messages since. Last year, following publication of our book, he invited me to speak at his practice group in Manchester. At least one person is on our training this time as a result of that.” She sees it as a slower burn to get results, as building a light touch relationship though it is possible to also build deep relationships online. Alan Jones uses SMM to have instant access to people and their feedback. “ I use it when I’m preparing what I’m going to say in a blog or article. I put my initial thoughts online, get comments and sharpen the message. It is a safe rehearsal space for me.” Andy Duffy suggests that it is better to vary the message and avoid relentless business posting. “Create an open invitation by letting people know what you do and where to find you whilst giving a glimpse of the real you. We are attracted to working with people like us. Create resonance and take people on a journey, that way it is their choice on their level of participation and the speed and direction in which the relationship develops.” Putting course places up for auction on Ebay has worked for Andy Duffy and for Judy Rees. Duffy offered 3 places on a practitioner course in Lincoln including accommodation and certification. “My objective was to raise the profile of my training business. It worked. All three places were sold. One just broke even and the others made some money. Judy Rees was very late advertising a course last autumn (finishing her book got in the way) and found herself starting from scratch with 6 weeks to

AT people, it is about marketing WITH them.” notes Nikki Pilkington. “Start small and start where you are • Start small comfortable,” suggests Judy Rees. “Don’t • Be respectful of the etiquette expect miracles or quick results. Learn • Don’t jump in feet first the ropes, what is acceptable behaviour • Vary the content – business and personal and ettiquette. Like taking over a new • Let people see the real you garden, discover what’s there and how • Show your passion – but not your aggression it works before jumping in. You can • Be patient – the results will take time to arrive but there plant some small quick cash crops but may be quick wins taking bigger risks without watching • Be creative – after using Ebay, Andy Duffy is now running a and learning would be stupid. People ‘donate your phobia’ event on Facebook for Comic Relief who blunder in find they upset people • Be consistent and regular in your postings and leave without understanding what they missed.” Both Alan Jones and Andy Smith are using Social Media for community building. Andy has tried using Facebook groups for his Manchester Business NLP group but “they have limited function. I’m now looking at wetpaint.com to build a site.” Alan is using Ning for a similar go. Having heard Andy Duffy’s experience, she venture with his practitioner groups. “It is a also tried Ebay as an option. “ The winner got powerful tool and fully private. I can post notes, a place on our Clean Language training at a articles and videos and host discussions. I see bargain price. It was someone we knew who it as a low cost equivalent to the ‘Blackboard’ had said they were not available for the dates. software used by some colleges.” We repeated the exercise a couple of weeks ago None of our group is doing vast amounts but listed just the first 2-day module. It went of ‘traditional’ marketing. They all have at 30% off the full price. This time others bid websites and blogs and some have brochures. who we didn’t know and they have been added They might use occasional email (and more to our marketing list for future trainings. We occasional postal) marketing. However, referral can keep in touch with them because we know and word of mouth brings in the vast majority they have an interest in the courses. of new business for all of them. Having an unfocused approach was not SMM is, thinks Nikki Pilkington, “especially helpful for Alan Jones. He thought through how appropriate for an industry where personality he could harness the facilities for promotion of is an important factor in customer choice”. She his business and, once he had an aim, things suggests that SMM is “still an experimental began to fit together more effectively. area. Even the experts are experimenting. It One of the biggest problems, highlighted is only one part of the Marketing mix. Try it, by all of our participants, was trying to do too see what works and take that into use but use it much, too soon. “SMM is not about marketing alongside proven approaches. And remember test, test and test again.” This approach to marketing isn’t going away. Adam Eason sees it as bringing “visibility and credibility. You can establish there is a rapport without speaking to clients and use the exposure to become the specialist. You will be trusted – even by people who have not yet met you - and your reputation will grow.”

Getting Started with SMM

Create an open invitation by letting people know what you do and where to find you

Participants Adam Eason: www.adam-eason.com, twitter = AdamEason Alan Jones: www.alanbjones.com, alanjonesUK Andy Duffy: www.andrewduffy.co.uk, learnnlpfast Andy Smith: www.practicaleq.com, practicaleq Judy Rees: www.cleanchange.co.uk, judyrees Nikki Pilkington: www.nikkipilkington.com, nikkipilkington

Andy Coote – follow me at www.twitter.com/andycoote

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NEWS

Anatomy of a Plane Crash Part 2 By Neil Almond

Photograph: RACQ – CQ RESCUE

I

n the last issue of Rapport the story left off with myself, my partner Andy and our pilot and co-passengers bobbing in shark-infested waters after our light aircraft crashed into the Australian Ocean. I invited you to associate into the experience and ask yourself which NLP techniques you’d use to survive – which is just what we did. Not in the spirit of some clever NLP exercise, nor an attempt to prove ‘it works’. I’m also not saying that using a few NLP tricks can make a plane crash as fun as bungee-jumping – far from it! But as NLP practitioners we have access to an amazing range of resources, which we discovered were instinct, automatic, hard-wired into us to help us survive. Even in the midst of an emergency, what could we do immediately to minimise the immediate psychic shock and possibly make the difference between full-blown PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and a speedy recovery? That became our urgent focus. So now you’re curious – which techniques did we use? The crash happened so fast that we were on automatic pilot, getting away from the plane, checking everyone was alive. Everything felt unreal as I watched the plane sink and realized how lucky we were – the first of many reframes. We focused on the facts of the situation – we were alive, only 2km from land, and knew our Mayday call had been

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heard, so rescue was coming. We could swim to land if needed. This helped eliminate the ‘catastrophising’ mentality that emergencies can provoke. We reframed through future pacing – “What a fantastic training story this’ll make! The participants think they’ve got problems?” – and through humour: “Kindly raise all bleeding limbs out of the water,” we joked – mindful of the sharks. Laughter distracted and kept us going. Underneath we were reframing, looking for the positive – how could we use the experience? In what context would this experience be useful? Well, we had great insurance for a start – and a new wardrobe is always welcome! And after watching our travel documents sink to the seabed we knew we’d have the pleasure of extra time with Andy’s Australian family. In any situation I believe you have a choice. Are you ‘At Effect’ of what happened or do you position yourself ‘At Cause’ – taking responsibility? We chose to be ‘At Cause’ . Not that we were to blame for the crash. But we got on the plane. We chose the plane not the boat. If a single engine fails, these things can happen. We didn’t feel anger or blame towards the pilot – she’d saved our lives. Being ‘At Cause’ and concentrating on the facts of the situation helped shrink it on our ‘mental desktops’ – situating it within the realms of a

reality in which we could be responsible for our results. A disaster situation often embeds at the Identity or Spiritual Neurological levels i.e “I AM a plane crash victim” or “The universe is punishing me.” Instead we broke down the experience: on the Environmental level – we have life jackets, the land is over there; the Behavioural level – what are we going to do now to survive. On the Capability level, can we all swim well?. And on a Beliefs level we believed we had all the resources we needed to survive. Separating it out, we were ourselves not ‘plane crash victims’ - individuals currently experiencing an adventure rather than being totally consumed by the experience itself. These subtle distinctions of focus, I believe, helped massively in surviving the experience and the ensuing shock and trauma as smoothly as possible. By this point it seemed like we’d been waiting for ages. We didn’t know how long it’d be till we were rescued. Andy, asthmatic with a slight build, was now shivering and slipping deeper into shock. I focused on coaching him back into a resourceful survival mode. Coaching called me into being – I had to get rid of my doubts and use everything possible to help him access a more positive state. We changed the submodalities of the water to make it warmer. We called back a recent experience in which he’d helped me successfully deal with a potentially traumatic 8.7km pathway infested with dinner-plate sized spiders, by visualising them as small and friendly, waving at us with roller-skated feet. The game was the perfect resource anchor for dealing with a difficult experience well. “Remember the spiders waving at us?” I said. “What can we change right now to achieve the same effect in THIS experience?” As an NLP practitioner Andy immediately took up the game to get himself back into a more resourceful state. It became a crucial ‘break state’ and kept us going until we heard the sound of a distant helicopter arriving to airlift us to McKay hospital – where the next instalment begins. neil@neilalmond.com


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BASIC NLP

INTRODUCING NLP Outcomes 3: Defining your Goals By Caitlin Collins

I

n previous issues of Rapport we looked at goal-setting firstly in terms of establishing your Purpose (overarching intention), Direction (path in alignment with that), and Milestones (stages of the journey); and secondly in terms of PURE-ity – your goal being Positive, Under your control, the Right size, and Ecological regarding context and consequences. Now we’re going to consider some different ways of identifying and thinking about desired outcomes. A while ago I was invited to lead a teachertraining workshop on goal-setting. The teachers had chosen that topic because they’d spotted its absence in their students and were afraid that, lacking this skill, the children were at risk of drifting out to sea towards who knows what monsters of the deeps and doldrums. While researching materials that would help them find flexible ways of communicating to accommodate the individual preferences of their students, I found that Robert Dilts’s elegant formula of six ways to identify goals sparked some useful insights. 1 Negation: what you don’t want ‘I don’t want to be poor!’ This is fine as far as it goes – it can be a good ‘stick’ motivator – but don’t stop there, as not only does it not offer any solutions, it could take you in just the direction you want to avoid because people

tend to gravitate towards what they focus on. 2 Polarity: the opposite of what you don’t want ‘I want to become rich!’ Having identified what you don’t want, now you ask yourself, ‘What do I want instead?’ Remember the importance of phrasing your outcome in positive terms, so you direct your attention towards what you do want. But, again, don’t stop here: wishes aren’t horses, and they don’t go anywhere until you give them legs. 3 Model: an example ‘I want to become rich like Bill Gates.’ Think of someone who has achieved the goal you want. This gives you a positive role model and evidence that it’s possible. You can investigate how your model did it, and adopt and adapt those of their methods and their personal qualities that might be appropriate in your own circumstances. 4 Abstract: identifying some details about your goal ‘I want to become sufficiently prosperous so I can have the security of being able to meet my financial commitments and also express my values of generosity, fairness, and doing good

in the world by redirecting funds to worthwhile causes.’ Wow, that’s impressive. Now you’re starting to build a picture of what it might be like to have attained your goal, and you’re putting in some powerful positive ‘carrot’ motivators too. 5 Extending resources: increasing the qualities you’ll need to attain your goal ‘I want to increase my wealth by improving my productivity, being more proactive and more creative, taking more risks, and cultivating more enthusiastic perseverance and courage.’ Fab! You’re really hotting up now, and are recognising that you already have many of the resources you need for the job – you just need to bring them to the fore. 6 Result: acting ‘as if ’ you’d already achieved your goal ‘I’m generating or facilitating an income flow that I’m directing towards the causes I care about. I’m feeling confident and buoyant, enthusiastic, determined and fulfilled in knowing I’m contributing to the world.’ Notice how this one brings about a real shift in how you feel now. It changes your energy so you find yourself naturally magnetised towards your goal. All these six ways of identifying goals are useful. Most people will tend to favour some rather than others; try experimenting with the ones that don’t come so easily to you! And if at any point in the process you find yourself thinking, ‘But I can’t do that...’, try the simplest unsticking device in the world. Just add the little word ‘yet...’ – and notice what happens. The teachers at that workshop went away with lots of ideas for guiding the children in their charge away from storms, towards tropical paradises, like Captain Jack, with sun, sand and sangria, warm and relaxed, happy and confident and looking forward to the future! Speaking of which, in the next issue of Rapport we’ll be looking at effective planning: how to give wings to your dreams so they’ll get off the ground and fly! Caitlin Collins: www.naturalmindmagic.com

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PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Expect the Unexpected By Mindy Gibbins-Klein

T

he other day, I was just about to throw a dead orchid plant into the compost when I noticed a small bud at the top of the brown stalk. It was coming back to life! Within two days, a beautiful orchid had appeared and it is bigger and more spectacular than any of the flowers that bloomed last year. I am amazed at how easily I would have thrown the whole plant away because it looked dead to me, and I would have missed this fantastic flower. Just as this challenging economic climate seemed to appear quite suddenly, so can amazing positive things happen at any time, even in this climate. In my business, I never stop marketing, but I am stepping up my efforts even more now, to make up for the slowdown. Not only am I making more calls, attending more events and going through old notes and business cards, but I am also implementing a strategy that I call “expect the unexpected”. It simply means that good things can happen at any time and you never know where they could lead. In a refreshing coincidence, right before I sat down to write this article, I heard from a good friend of mine called John Hotowka. John is a fellow speaker, and probably one of the funniest after-dinner speakers I know. He called to catch up and thank me for an introduction and then he said, “You have to be open to little opportunities that crop up that can make all the difference.” The key word here is “open”. Following my last article where I warned against the Chicken Littles of this world, I had some great feedback. It seems people like the fact that I gave them permission to be open. If you are, you will set yourself apart from the majority of business people. But how can you be more open? I certainly don’t have all the answers, but I have been doing a few things and thought I’d share them with you, in case they could be helpful.

1. Do whatever you need to do to bring your energy levels up. During the short, grey days of winter, this can be a challenge even in boom times, and it is even more critical now. Simply exercising, eating well, staying hydrated and getting enough sleep can sort out so many of the issues we have. If you do not have as many client appointments as before, you can treat yourself to some of these healthy habits which will make you more effective when you do get in front of people or on the phone. 2. Ask the right questions. If you are looking to be open to more opportunities, some good questions could be “What could I notice right now?”, “What else could I do right now?” and “Who have I not spoken to for a long time?”. When I remind myself to ask these questions, I find I meet the right people and have productive discussions. 3. Do something different. Again, having extra time is a blessing if you use that time well. Of course I am encouraging people to do their marketing strategy now while it’s quiet and spend time writing their books and articles, and there are some other wonderful things you could do, that you would normally be too busy to do. For example: visit a museum, gallery, historic site or place of natural beauty. Take in the entire experience with all your senses and let your mind have a rest from all the worries of the business. It has been proven that new experiences create new connections in our brain and enhance our creativity. That could be really useful right now.

You have to be open to little opportunities that crop up that can make all the difference

4. Meditate, read and visualise. You are probably already ahead of most business owners in this area, and I would really encourage you to push beyond your normal routines, because these are not normal times. In the past six weeks, I have read nine business and personal development books I have been meaning to read for quite some time. I have also begun meditating again, as well as refocusing on my goals and visualising them. It’s astounding how many opportunities are cropping up – or were they there all the time? Do you have an orchid somewhere that is just waiting for you to notice it? Unexpected things will happen every day, and I hope you will be open to the positive ones. Let me know what exciting things happen for you in the coming months.

Mindy Gibbins-Klein the UK’s leading writing and publishing strategist, best known as The Book Midwife and co-founder/director of Ecademy Press business publishing. Her mission is to create thousands of real thought leaders who will change business and society with their ideas. An international speaker, trainer and consultant with 20 years in marketing, training and coaching, and over 100 clients who have written and published excellent books and articles quickly using the Book Midwife methodology, Mindy writes and speaks to thousands of executives, business leaders and entrepreneurs each year about how to become a thought leader and turning expertise into enhanced credibility and more business.

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NLP

Frank Bourke Taking NLP into the Mainstream

Meeting Frank Bourke is an experience. His passion reverberates so strongly and creates such resonance that you want the conversation to continue indefinitely. As the figurehead of and driving force behind the NLP Research and Recognition Project, Frank brings all of his wide experience, determination and wisdom to the development of a scientific process supporting NLP. Here, he talks to Andy Coote.

S

ometimes things happen in our lives that change the whole focus of what we do and change our future plans irrevocably. For Frank, in common with thousands, maybe millions, of other people, a hugely significant shift began on the 11th September, 2001. The emotional impact on Frank of that fateful day, now known forever as 9-11, and its aftermath was immense. He wrote, in the week following the shocking events of that day, “It’s the third day since coming down to New York. I helped organize twelve counsellors yesterday into a crisis intervention team and we treated between two and three hundred ‘survivors’ in the posh ballrooms of a New York Marriott Hotel. They had all lost wives, husbands, relatives, friends, or coworkers. Many of them learned of the deaths there and then. The initial grief reactions of so many people, in such close proximity, were overwhelming. It looked and sounded like one of those old war movies….deafening bombs and sirens in a background cacophony….. nurses and doctors treating patients scattered helterskelter across beds, tables, hallways and floors. Only the “skelter” was across the posh fixtures of an upscale hotel and the gore was psychic, emotional chaos. I felt shock and disbelief. This can’t really be happening here.” The days at the Marriott, and the year that followed, stretched Frank personally and clinically more than anything in his life. “The predominant feelings I have now when revisiting the memories are satisfaction and pride. I practiced and learned my trade for thirty-nine years before 9-11. On the angry and violent streets of Harlem NYC in the 60’s and in the “Snake Pits” of State Psychiatric Hospitals, I learned about human lives overloaded with “evil” and traumas. Unlike most of my fellow professionals and the unsuspecting workers in the World Trade Center, I had somehow “been there” and knew what to do. By focusing on their needs and inventing paths back onto safe ground from within them I had a way to be in the carnage but not of it.” The Training in treating Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that he had received in the eighties gave him a unique clinical skill

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that he had been improving over the years. Frank honed that skill with 100 severely traumatized survivors. “I have never felt so needed or competent, so glad to be a helper and a psychologist. I began to realise that this approach might clinically have a major effect. However when I tried to bring in three NLP practitioners, they were refused access because they were not recognised by the insurers.” Afterwards, Frank came home to take a rest from clinical practice and the trauma of 9-11. Instead, another major event put his plans into disorder and this time it was very personal. He was diagnosed with cancer of the bladder - a terminal diagnosis with a 15% probable cure rate. During the treatment of the cancer, Frank used NLP to deal with the operation, the pain, chemotherapy and subsequent healing. “I came through the illness and came to the realisation that I was probably not going to die and had to consider what I would do with the rest of my life.” He decided that it might be interesting to reconnect with the NLP community and to see what had become of it. In the mid 1970s, Frank was lecturing at Cornell University in psychology when a colleague introduced him to the work that John Grinder was doing. “The guy reported that Grinder did it just like Milton Erickson would do it”, so Frank took his friend’s opinion seriously, despite prevailing academic disdain for NLP and found a three-day workshop taking place nearby and went to see for himself. Frank had previously worked at the Institute of Psychology in London with people working in behavioural therapy around the area of phobias. He watched Grinder do a phobia cure and found that it was “just remarkable”. “When they asked for volunteers, my hand went straight up. I had a shark phobia and was soon up on stage finding out if this thing really worked. My friendship with John built from right there on the stage.” A warm and friendly relationship built over the next two years in which he challenged John over a number of areas. “I was critical of his exaggerated claims, of his denigration of other professionals and of his

It is a genuine gift and the material will help thousands of people


NLP

unwillingness to measure the outcomes of what he was doing.” Frank still has “marvellous and fond memories of John Grinder’s care and concern for my cares and concerns, especially after workshops and over dinner. I still feel warm towards him.” Frank moved away from NLP as his academic career precluded active involvement in NLP because he disagreed with the ‘organisational tenets’ of NLP at that time. Following his remission from cancer, Frank booked on a Robert Dilts and Judith de Lozier workshop. “I discovered that it was a very alive community and that Robert and Judith had made it a way of life with their NLP University and other activities. I also came into contact with Steve Andreas who in my view had taken the material 20 years ahead. I saw enough substance here - enough functional community - that if it got research then it could be of use in the clinical environment. I felt that there were enough people with well-developed material, integrity and a community spirit to take it forward. There was a group of people who have substantive clinical gifts. They can be trusted to do what they do in a professional way - in the same way as a medical professional - and I thought I’d better give it a shot to see what might come of it.” Robert and Judith put him in touch with IASH who said “do this with us and do it as part of our organisation. That got us started and got the right people involved, but the ultimate project was too big for IASH to handle. The project is now a separate not-for-profit organisation and has benefited from my experience of leading businesses, especially in the mental health space.” “I suppose you could say that I have always been preparing for what I’m now doing. My training as a researcher, my early training in NLP, my training in many clinical approaches and my organisational and entrepreneurial background all prepared me for the development of a large project from square one.” The NLP Research and Recognition Project (http://nlprandr.org/) started in September 2006 to support and develop research on NLP in the U.S. and abroad. After two years of “a quixotic charge at the windmill” it does appear to be taking off. “It is a genuine gift and the material will help thousands of people. For instance if after 9-11 we had had 500 NLP therapists licenced to work there, the amount of psychic pain and harm would have been reduced considerably.”

NLP, Frank believes, must pass the criteria for evidentiary medicine to be used in clinics supported by the federal government. Evidentiary medicine requires that clinical tools demonstrate their effectiveness in peer-reviewed journals. “We have chosen Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as the best starting point. We have seen remarkable clinical effectiveness in the use of NLP with PTSD.” “There are no grants in place yet and we have been bidding for the last seven months for grants to work with veterans coming back from Iraq. That would just be the first big piece of work for rollout. We feel there is sufficient interest and money to do that at a very high clinical and scientific level. There is a 90% probability that in the next six months we will start producing the first real clinical research into NLP.” “When I wrote the plan, I was very clear that it needs a properly resourced foundation at its core for the next 10 to 20 years in order that it can measure, publish and grow the material. Once the material grows, we have to face the question of how you translate it into training, certification and continuation. We may have only half discovered all of the detail. The other half might lead us into other areas in neurology and education that will be at least as useful as the current material is. The next generation will be using the principles that are in there and may get double the benefit as the area develops.” Frank looks forward to being able to retire. He is currently working 70 to 80 hours a week, working with a very talented team and having fun. However when the funding is there to put together a proper structure, “it will be a relief to be able to hand across elements of the work and start to take a back seat”. We discussed the vision that landowners had when they planted trees and parkland that would only be visible at its best long after their lives had ended. “From where I live, I can see those forests every day. What the application of these personal skills can do across the board for our own management we can only speculate. We are aiming for a higher consciousness using NLP material as one of the routes to get there. In a number of people working in the NLP field recently I can see that there is a higher state of consciousness at work. We may be looking at spiritual evolution in which NLP material may provide some of the best spiritual growth in the world.”

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COLUMN

The Presuppositions of NLP Whatever people do, it’s the best they can do at the time. By Caitlin Collins

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he NLP presuppositions are tools to help us transcend limiting beliefs about ourselves and our world. It’s not a matter of believing or disbelieving any presupposition, but of considering the possible implications of acting ‘as if ’ you believed it, imagining the differences doing so could make to your life. I love the way many NLP presuppositions seem so simple, even simplistic, while actually they’re profound. At first glance this one might look like a feeble excuse for a failure. It might also sound endearingly English: ‘It’s not about winning, darling. Just do your best; that’s what matters.’ But its appearance is deceptive. Out of the uncountably many mistakes I’ve made in this life, one particular mega-mistake haunted me for years. When I found the courage to talk to my teacher about it, he asked, ‘Why did you do it?’ To which I sobbed, ‘Because I couldn’t see my way to doing anything else at the time.’ And he said, ‘So...?’ That ‘So...?’ brought me the realisation that actually, at that time, that was all I could do – and, while regret remained, the guilt was lifted in that moment. This presupposition is a key to forgiving ourselves and others. It’s about recognising that most people don’t act freely. We act from our past conditioning: most of what we do is habitual, and even when we try to ‘do something different’, the something different is likely to be a strategy drawn from our limited repertoire of learned behaviour. The context of whatever is happening triggers our reaction and we do the best we can with whatever resources

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are available to us at the time. The point is that if we could do any better we would! Few people freely choose to screw up! The path of personal development includes learning how to transcend our habitual tendencies and move towards the freedom of genuine spontaneity. But for those of us still en route there will be mistakes, and one of the most important things we can learn from them is how to forgive.

Forgiving isn’t about condoning destructive behaviour. It’s about recognising our common wish to fulfil our desires and escape from our fears. From that innocent wish come all the activities that span the range of endeavour from good to evil and all points in between. As we see ourselves and others acting in ways that actually distance us from fulfilling

our wish, forgiveness would allow compassion to arise, so that instead of wanting to punish and hurt in anger and fear, we’d want to reach out and connect in love and empathy. So...? How might it feel to forgive? And how might it change your life?

Caitlin Collins: www.naturalmindmagic.com


inspiring natural potential…

2009 EVENTS DIARY 8th April 7th May May-June 10th June 25-31 Aug Sept - Nov

NLP Group: Metaprograms NLP Group: Intro to Hypnosis NLP Practitioner Cert. (modular week days) NLP Group: Dreaming NLP Hypnotherapy Prac. & Master Prac. Certs. NLP Master Practitioner Cert

GRANTS MAY BE AVAILABLE – CONTACT US email: info@gwiztraining.com phone: 01767 640956 www.gwiztraining.com

Iʹm noticing so much now as Iʹm speaking to others - their language patterns, sensory information… The programme has created a real shift in me, and Iʹm finding it so exciting being able to use my learning to help others...

Still assimilating the most amazing nine days of my life and really excited about where the journey will take me...

Iʹve also reached new levels of self-awareness that I never felt possible...

The mix of practical exercises, challenging and provocative discussions and knowledgeable and fascinating input, led to a truly memorable learning experience… Joe Cheal

Melody Cheal

Joe and Melody Cheal are both management development specialists and have been working with NLP since 1993. As well as running Practitioner and Master Prac courses certified by the Society of NLP, they also offer Hypnotherapy Prac & Master Prac certificates & ILM diplomas in Coaching & Leadership.

Are you ready for the experience now?


NLP

STONE AGE NLP By Greg Laws

What if some of the greatest excellence that the human mind has evolved is slowly slipping away to extinction? What if this wisdom is not written anywhere but is confined exclusively to the minds of living people? What if the values, beliefs, skills and behaviours of these people offered amazing lessons that could heal our troubled world? If NLP is about modelling excellence then modelling this excellence is a project on the critical list.

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n August 2008 a group of four trainers and nine NLP Master Practitioner students set off for the Kalahari Desert in Southern Africa with a rather unusual brief – to meet and model a remarkable people. Deep in this spectacular African landscape are a group of hunter gatherers known as the San or Bushmen. They are the Earth’s oldest surviving ethnic group, often referred to as the “first people”. They were living in this desert home tens of thousands of years before humans arrived in Australia for the first time. They were holding shamanic ceremonies at their

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sacred site, Tsodilo Hills, when Neanderthals were the sole hominids in Europe. They are, quite literally, a window into the Stone Age. There is much myth surrounding Stone Age people. Most enduring is the idea that life in this age was brutal and short. After all, living in a cave amongst ferocious beasts with no domestic animals or crops of any kind must be a supremely precarious existence. One can easily visualise lions carrying off unsuspecting victims and wild, hairy men fending off enraged elephants. This is a myth of great convenience to those who hold power. The

facts are rather spectacularly different. For at least 90% of the time that our species has roamed the Earth we were hunter gatherers. The domestication of plants and animals some 10,000 years ago changed all that. Suddenly we held dominion over the Earth and the consequences were astonishing. With blinding speed extraordinary cultures came and went; the ancient Egyptians, the Greeks, the Romans and the mighty British Empire. Compared with the relative stability of the last 190,000 years, this new age would bear no resemblance to the old. The change


NLP

was no less dramatic than banishment from the Garden of Eden. Indeed some historians make a strong case that the story of Adam and Eve was the story of the downfall of hunting and gathering. Northern Iraq 10,000 years ago would be the right time and the right place. We would look to this project as progress, the advent of civilisation (meaning city people). What if it was anything but and the vast misery we experience in the modern world was testament to the destructive power of this project? What if some great explorer rediscovered the Garden of Eden? So much for the Dreamer, let us move onto Reality. Fortunately many hunting and gathering societies lay beyond the reach of the progress project for most of the modern era. A number of hunter gatherer groups still survive in remote corners of the Earth. However, with a current cultural extinction rate of one culture every two weeks, one suspects this will not last. Modern day Australian aborigines are a heart breaking testament to what the future may well hold. So what was life like in the Stone Age? We are the most successful creatures on the planet and we did not develop this ability in the last 10,000 years. We developed it in the Stone Age. Our physiology, emotions and cognitive brilliance all evolved with our hunter gatherer ancestors. Even our very cells and our metabolism, ironically that can lead to obesity, are functional adaptations from the Stone Age. Life was relatively easy then. Hunter gatherer communities around the world work on average 3 to 5 hours a day. The rest of the time they do three things they love dearly; tell stories, play with children and play music. The San people have a profound knowledge of their desert home, an environment modern people would find almost impossible to survive in without help. As they walk through the desert it is as if they are browsing a supermarket’s aisles. There is no cancer or heart disease of any sort, not even high blood pressure or any loss of hearing. There wasn’t a single record of anyone being

It is clear, once again, that modelling is a complex task and that most projects require continual refinement and focus to distil the difference that makes the difference from a baffling complexity

killed by a wild animal. You can’t own nature in their thinking and people depend on each other for survival. As a result everything is shared. Theft is unheard of. There are no leaders, very few possessions, God is friendly and nice and there is no devil or hell to fear. Children are adored and, along with the healing dances, are the centres of the culture. Well that is how it was back in the 1950’s when wild San clans roamed the Kalahari. That’s how it was for 200,000 years. We wanted to find out what was left of this ancient culture. We were especially intrigued by the possibilities for sustainable economies, child rearing and health. Using the behavioural modelling tools developed by Wyatt Woodsmall we set off on a NLP Master Practitioner course with a difference. We found the elaborated version of the Mercedes Model especially useful for this exercise. We took cognisance of Ken Wilbur’s quadrant, especially in terms of integrating our learning into our own culture, although the project has some way to go yet. We set up task teams who spent three days each questioning the San under thorn trees in the desert. Members were allocated specific components of the modelling including tracking for values, beliefs, explicit behaviour and meta programs. The results from this first effort are a testament to the amazing potential of NLP. The depth and breadth of the material we elicited would make anthropologists eyes water. Let us explore a few samples of our modelling project starting with the meta programs. We found the San to be off-the-scale sensors with a virtual absence of intuiting. This is interesting and is supported by research which found the San’s observational skills phenomenal, putting western scientist to shame. NLP is about uptime sensory perception – the San are masters of the art. They perceived theorising as folly without purpose. Judging and perceiving were about equal as were introvert and extrovert. They were more reliant on feeling than thinking.

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NLP

They are a deeply caring, touchy-feely people in constant physical contact. In an egalitarian society it comes as no surprise that they focus on others more than self, seek sameness rather than difference, specific rather than global and rely on procedures rather than options. On the last point it is worth bearing in mind that the vast store of knowledge held by these people is entirely housed in the heads of living members of the clan. This is truly fascinating. The San primary values are harmony, humanity, spirituality and sustainability. They strongly value integrity, environment, tradition and fairness. They rely on love and respect and avoid blame. Their credo, which they repeat regularly, is “we are together”. Interestingly they have co-opted aspects of western religion into their own belief system. For example the Christian God and their God have the same birthday! They have a fascinating approach to decision-making which is always achieved by group consensus. If the group can’t make a decision they increase the size of the group,

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and keep increasing it until consensus is reached. It is a disgrace not to share and greed is bad. They are primarily kinaesthetic with significant reliance on tactile interchange. What do you value and how does it compare to what you spend your time and resources on? The San appear to be able to raise secure, happy, responsible and confident children. They have a saying that it takes a community to raise a child. There is a noticeable reliance on diverse sounds in addition to words to communicate with children. These sounds signify things like danger. Their primary values around child rearing are for health, sharing, harmony and safety. Their belief systems attached to these values are complex and intriguing. Don’t eat fruit or vegetables when pregnant or the baby will grow too big. If the baby comes feet first you have been saying bad things about others. It is important to remain silent in the bush to avoid danger, so much reliance is made on hand signals. Children are taught not to cry for the same reason. San women breast feed for up to four years which probably accounts for the small number of children they have. They believe the reason to be that their God also loves children and wants to keep them all to himself ! There is no taboo attached to unmarried young mothers. Children are a gift from God. Our charitable work among the San includes shipping unwanted children’s clothes from the UK to the San, clothes of a quality these mothers can only dream of. The child is held upright, facing forward in reach

of the breast. Research suggests that this may account for the fact that they develop hand-eye coordination and cognitive skills well ahead of Western children. Now let the Critic loose. The challenge lies is in distilling the results into models that can be applied successfully in a modern world. Many aspects of Stone Age living have clear potential benefits for western families and individuals. One truth among ancient San was that their world pretty much stayed the same. Other than droughts or the luck of the hunt, the general environment was as it was for hundreds of generations. What impact does the phenomenal rate of change in the modern world have on us? How much of our stress and thus disease is related to this? One strategy suggested by a student to reduce the perception of change was to stop reading the newspaper or watching television. It is clear, once again, that modelling is a complex task and that most projects require continual refinement and focus to distil the difference that makes the difference from a baffling complexity. Be that as it may there are patterns buried in this data that present exciting prospects for the future. With a critical eye we are turning the dream into a reality. Greg and Anne Laws run INLPTA accredited NLP training courses in the UK and the Stone Age NLP Master Practitioner in the Kalahari Desert once a year for limited participants. For more information contact: Openmind Training Limited 0845 050 8448 info@openmindtraining.co.uk www.openmindtraining.co.uk


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LIFESTYLE

Neuro-linguistic Dreaming (or “Learning the Language of the Unconscious”) Dreams are the playground of the unconscious mind. Stories and art give us tantalising glimpses of the unconscious realm; dreams give us full, associated immersion. If you want to learn more about how the unconscious mind works (and plays) where better to do it than the unconscious’ own home. By Joe Cheal

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here are probably as many belief systems about dreams as there are languages in the world. Each culture has its own perspective on what dreams are and what they are about. It would seem that there is a generalised agreement that dreams come from or via the unconscious (or subconscious) mind. Perhaps they may channel some higher connectedness or some deeper consciousness. Or perhaps they may be simply a result of the brain working and sorting through data from short term to long term memory. According to Carl Jung, dreams are a way for the unconscious mind to

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communicate with us. Perhaps by paying attention to how dreams are coded, we can learn something about the natural language of the unconscious. But how does this knowledge benefit us? Ericksonian hypnosis and much of NLP is founded on the notion of communicating with the unconscious mind. We have a choice of trying to make the unconscious mind respond to our native language or learning to speak the unconscious language directly. Have you ever found yourself in a place where they do not speak your native tongue? Is it not more rewarding and effective to learn their language rather than expecting them to speak yours? We talk about building rapport with the unconscious mind, so isn’t that easier if we speak its language? As well as leading to further discoveries about how we might communicate with the unconscious in its own domain, dreamworld exploration offers us a fascinating and revealing journey as we delve deeper beneath the surface of the dreaming mind. Surface Structure and Deep Structure To set the scene, NLP borrows the concept of surface structure and deep structure from Alfred Korsybski. Surface structure is the

language we use to describe what we mean. Deep structure is what we actually mean. This is emphasised in the expression ‘the map is not the territory’. A description of something is not the thing itself. When someone presents a problem to us in NLP we utilise the metamodel to go beneath surface structure and further into deep structure. This is done to move people beyond their distortions, generalisations and deletions to a clearer idea of what the reality of their problem actually is. Sigmund Freud, a pioneer of modern dream research made a distinction between what he called manifest content and latent content. The manifest is how the dream presents itself and the latent is what the dream actually means. Whilst this is not necessarily a widely held view amongst dream theorists we could draw an analogy with Korsybski’s model where deep structure is like latent meaning, and surface structure is like the manifest. In both dream exploration and in NLP we talk about metaphor. This is an all encompassing term to include all sorts of symbolism, imagery, analogy, simile etc. If the surface structure language of the conscious mind is words, the surface structure language of the unconscious would be metaphor.


LIFESTYLE The NLP-Dreaming Connection Richard Bandler and John Grinder created NLP initially from the works of Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir and Milton Erickson. Fritz Perls was a well known dream theorist who introduced some excellent ideas about how to understand the unconscious and hence how to decode dreams. Milton Erickson, on the other hand, was utilising the language and processes of the unconscious to ease people into a dreamlike state. Let’s explore this further… Dream Parts Fritz Perls considered that dreams needed to be decoded from a holistic perspective. All parts of the dream are parts of the dreamer. More specifically, Perls believed that dream parts are parts of the individual that have been disowned and projected. Whether he was right about this or not, the idea that every aspect of a dream is part of the dreamer is very empowering (although perhaps a little disturbing at times!) If each part of the dream is part of the dreamer, this allows us to explore a dream from many perceptual positions. A woman once described a dream in which she was standing in a kitchen. What else was in the kitchen in the dream? A fridge, a cooker, a sink… When she took the position of the cooker she described her frustration of having to cook all the time, that she was taken for granted, she was tied to the kitchen and could never go out. This was a part of herself that she could identify with but she hadn’t realised before how angry that part of her was. Where there is conflict in dreams, there is most probably a conflict of parts in the dreamer. NLP has a range of techniques for integrating parts, including ‘visual squash’ and ‘six step reframe’. As a practitioner working with someone’s dreams perhaps we don’t always need to decode the dream, but simply resolve the conflict of parts. If the unconscious mind is ready, it will probably present the underlying meaning spontaneously. Utilisation When exploring the meaning of dreams, it is useful to understand the process of the unconscious ‘dream machine’. Not only is a dream based on our thoughts and emotions (past and present), it is also based on our physiology. Have you ever dreamt of trying to find a toilet and then woken up and realised that you actually do need to go to the toilet? Whilst we are dreaming, the dream machine will also incorporate outside influences (e.g. sounds) and respond to the reactions of the dreamer. Simply put, the unconscious mind will weave whatever it is experiencing into the dream narrative.

Milton Erickson, the master of unconscious communication, worked with the idea of utilisation. Whatever he was presented with, he would use. Not only would he utilise the client’s language, metaphors, behaviours and beliefs, he would also utilise visuals, sounds and sensations in the environment. He might utilise a bird singing outside by saying: “and as you hear the distant bird calling… you to… go deeper and deeper into your experience… now.”Not only would Erickson use the language of the unconscious, i.e. metaphor, he would also use the process by which the unconscious mind works.

If each part of the dream is part of the dreamer, this allows us to explore a dream from many perceptual positions

Language Play The unconscious seems to delight in word play, as if it is creating metaphor out of the conscious mind’s learnt language. NLP practitioners are usually taught about the Milton model, including ‘phonological ambiguities’. These are the puns and ‘double entendres’ that are also the stuff of dreams. A person will often be swapped in a dream for someone else with the same name. This can create some interesting scenarios for the dreamer to deal with. I remember one dream where I fell asleep on a rooftop with a friend called Lucy. I later realised that the day before, I had been watching a TV programme where the father of a girl (called Lucy) was angry because she had spent a ‘night on the tiles’. For some reason, my unconscious decided, in its own way, to join her. In another dream I was in an ally wondering what was through the other side of a gate. It was an alligator! Only upon retelling the dream later did I get the pun. As well as the sounds of words, the unconscious seems to like playing with the order of letters in words. The night before we ran our first Practitioner course, my wife Melody dreamt that an NLP Master Trainer was coming to observe the course. This was an understandable connection. However, there was great emphasis on the fact that he was coming by plane and we would have to pick

him up on the morning of the course. Beyond some more obvious metaphors, the ‘plane’ carried a particularly interesting pattern. Look at the letters in PLaNe. Look back along the letters without the vowels… do they mean anything to you? Coincidence maybe, but write down enough of your dreams and you will discover more about the playful nature of the unconscious mind. If dreams are the playground of the unconscious mind… play on!

The Author Joe Cheal has been working with NLP since 1993. As well as being a licensed trainer of NLP, he holds an MSc in Organisational Development and Neuro-linguistic Technologies, a degree in Philosophy and Psychology, and diplomas in Coaching and in Ericksonian Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy and NLP. He is also a licensed practitioner of EI and LAB. Joe has always been interested in the science and meaning of dreams, writing a dissertation on lucid dreaming for his first degree. The key findings of this research and many other articles on NLP can be found at www.gwiztraining.com.

Further Reading Bandler, R. & Grinder, J. “Patterns of Hypnotic Techniques of Milton H. Erickson MD: Volumes 1 & 2” An analysis of Erickson’s approach to unconscious communication by the co-creators of NLP. Van de Castle, R.L. “Our Dreaming Mind” An excellent introduction to dreams and dream theorists.

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EDUCATION

Magician’s Apprentices Helping Learners become Masters of their own learning and destiny By Paul Penney

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s a teacher in a busy and popular secondary school in Hampshire I used to feel that I was the foreman on a factory floor; obsessed with assessment, results and league tables. That was until I discovered NLP. Now I am like a magician in front of class full of eager apprentices desperate to learn the magic; my colleagues looking on curiously, wondering how I am getting such positive results in my teaching. The question is, “How did this journey begin and what’s happened in these early stages of my pursuit of the real education of the nation’s children?” My journey with NLP began a little over two years ago when a friend undertook the NLP practitioner’s course and came back full of amazing stories and skills. I knew that I wanted to learn more. I had been recently appointed to a new role within school as Director of a department called Preparation for Life; looking at developing life and learning skills in every child. I had several meetings with the Head-teacher explaining NLP and my belief that it could be what I needed to make the department work. I chose to do my Practitioner Training with Tim Fearon and Emma Sargent of The Extraordinary Coaching Company based in the New Forest. My world turned upside down and I realised that all my thoughts and ideas about education were not just idealistic fantasy, but could be a reality. I returned to school an NLP Practitioner and my adventure really began. The initial impact was on my attitude and dealings with students with behaviour issues. What an eye-opener to realise that state is a choice, and not something outside of our control; just passing this new learning on to these students has made an extraordinary difference to them and an interesting dynamic to my pastoral care duties. Initial interventions changed too, as I began to listen and build rapport and then respond using the preferred modes of communication of the students and staff involved in conflicts.

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I will always remember the look on the face of a persistent offender, who found that he could truly understand me and that I, in his words, spoke his language. We engaged in developing a series of strategies that helped him to trigger a new positive state for his arrival in maths lessons and some new questions that he could ask the specific teacher so that he could get the answers to his questions and not feel like he was a stranger in a strange land. When I next met the teacher she asked, “What have you done to James?” I was, of course, delighted to explain and was able to share some simple language tips with her as well as some alternative ways of

asking questions. So the magic began to be cast and the curiosity of staff was stimulated. Curriculum planning was the next area that I began looking at and how to bring the principles of NLP into the teaching and learning opportunities of all students and staff. The government agendas were extremely useful in my initial implementation of key elements of the schools preparation for life learning programme. The Every Child Matters and Personalised Learning agenda were excellent vehicles by which to weave the magic of NLP into learning and teaching programmes. Using themes from personalised learning I began to engage the year seven students in understanding their “Emotional Intelligence”. We looked at personal responsibility, our outlook on life, overcoming obstacles and failure, planning and personal development. Using a range of NLP tools, students explored how and what makes them feel the way they do and how they can change it. As I write, these programmes are underway. I know that this magic works and that children are fascinated by it and prepared to take risks to get different results. Year eight and nine students have been focusing on communication skills and how and why we get what we get or don’t get what we want. These patterns and behaviours are studied within the context of our drugs, alcohol and personal relationship education. The feedback from students so far has been interesting. Students feel that they are more able to say what they want and what they don’t want, as well as how to say that effectively and confidently. In years ten and eleven we have focused the learning on future focus – what do they want in their lives and how do they get it. In these sessions we have used a range of techniques and seen students accessing resourceful states in a number of areas in their lives including career plans, interview confidence, overcoming nerves and fears, exam states and communication and rapport skills. The students particularly enjoyed the “Timeline” strategies,


EDUCATION

What an eye-opener to realise that state is a choice, and not something outside of our control using these to create a positive outcome state and future focus in a time of uncertainty and economic woe. These sessions have been full of surprises and magic, as is the world of NLP. These curious minds begin to question lots of things that they have held to be true, and the presupposition that the map is not the territory is proved true every time. In a recent lesson around alcohol we were exploring the notion of habits and how to change them. It was also the day that the year ten students were due to have their immunisations. Two students happened to mention that they could not concentrate on their work because they were afraid of needles.

Before I realised it, we had run through the fast phobia cure and each of the students, when future paced, felt totally fine and went on to have their injections feeling cool calm and collected. This is just one of those unexpected magic moments that occur with NLP and naturally curious, open young people. Staff have become, at the same time, increasingly open to the use of NLP and its effect on students in teaching and learning. Fortunately, the senior management team gave me an opportunity to demonstrate the simple principle of state, and the effect of state on our experience and physiology. I did this in a full staff meeting and then offered a series of

training sessions for all staff using what I had learned from my Practitioner training and Richard Churches and Roger Terry’s book ‘NLP for Teachers.’ These sessions were well attended and I am going to repeat them on a regular basis to all new staff and as a refresher for those who have attended. Again in these sessions, the magic of NLP was seen as people did a simple reframing of a situation that was a minor irritant and frustration. Many of the participants saw real changes in their personal lives and in the lives of the students in the classroom. My journey through the world of education has only just begun and it has been full of adventure and excitement already. The curiosity of the young apprentices in my care never ceases to amaze me. I hope that as many more fast track teachers are given the NLP skills to be successful teachers, they will realise that these skills can be taught to their students. This can and will change the world of teaching and learning from being a results driven factory to a world where rapport, communication and learning are open to all. Equipping all for a life of curiosity with a hunger for lifelong learning and aspirations for a life that they really want, is surely what education is all about.

If you would like to learn the skills that Paul uses in school to help change and enhance the learning of your pupils, you can contact Paul on ‘paulpenney48@yahoo.co.uk’. Paul will be running a one day workshop in May for teachers with Emma Sargent of The Extraordinary Coaching Company, NLP Trainer and Author of “Flying Start – coaching your children for life”. Please phone FREE on 0800 756 6516 for details.

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INTERNATIONAL

NLP in Israel By Immanuel Yosef and Moriah Legomsky

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lot is filmed and written about Israel in International daily news. Yet, Israel is as small as the state of New Jersey and has only 7.28 million people. 75.5 % of Israel’s population is Jewish, 20.1 % is Arab peoples, with a remaining 4.4 % other minorities. However, all these populations are quite cosmopolitan in origin, so many languages are heard here. Israel’s economy is estimated as the 44th largest. And, Israel is a leader amongst Middle Eastern countries on the bases of human development and freedom of the press and economic competitiveness. NLP has ideal market applications here because Israel has a family, learning, business, and therapy oriented culture. Israel has faced monumental security, defence, and negotiation challenges in its short 60 year history as a modern state. In the last 2 years, thousands of missiles have been fired at Israel’s northern and southern cities. Also, more than 115 civilian public Israel buses have been bombed. This traumatic daily reality encouraged us to become NLP Trainers, because of NLP’s effectiveness resolving traumas. Coaching is very popular in Israel in both the business, and therapy/ relationships realm. In the last 2 years, Julie Silverthorn and Ben Dowman taught NLP in Israel. Retter College, with 12 branches for teaching NLP in Hebrew in Israel, brought John Grinder here to teach several hundred people last year. I have licensed 600+ EFT Practitioners as the official Director of EFT licensing in Israel. Our Y. E. S. (www.YourEternalSpark.com) Women’s Self- Empowerment Training Center provides 8-10 week NLP Life Coaching Practitioner and EFT Practitioner Trainings. Our residential fully integrated medicine programming enables our graduates to make and stabilize transformational life changes. Of the thousands of Practitioners and MPs that have been trained in Israel, 90% are Jewish women. Our Y.E.S. goal is to improve general health, communication, and family structure on the most fundamental level. By providing excellent in residence role model NLP and EFT Training, we empower wives, mothers and successful trainers at this most basic structural societal level. From many years of Training and private practice experience, we looked to produce an outcome that will most widely disseminate these essential NLP skills in a way that will best improve our world. Our unique English Training program, outsources top natural medicine specialists, and integrates the cutting edge self-improvement technology: NeuroOptimal EEG Brainwave Neurofeedback. NLP Training taught us to integrate the best self-development tools with this practical strategy to

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produce personal and societal improvement. We see our world in a critical position now where its key is to be prepared to choose and build harmony and world community life supportive growth. Obviously, Israel is surrounded in the hub of the world peace issues. So NLP in Israel for us, is about empowering women and their families for a bright and internationally harmonious future, now!

We see our world in a critical position now where its key is to be prepared to choose and build harmony and world community life supportive growth


NEW improved rates for ANLP members As a member of ANLP you’re now entitled to improved rates on your Professional Liability insurance. You can now get £1m of cover for £69.98* with cover provided by Royal & Sun Alliance Insurance plc – and there are no restrictions on the policy requiring you to take and retain client notes. Rates have been reduced in recognition of your professionalism as an ANLP member, and the growing number of ANLP members now insured under the scheme. If you’re already insured with Towergate as an ANLP member, you’ll benefit from the cheaper rates at your next renewal. For a quotation, or to find out more, contact Towergate Professional Risks

Call 0113 391 9595 (Mon – Fri, 8.30am – 5.30pm) Or visit www.towergateprofessionalrisks.co.uk *This is an indicative premium based on a sole practitioner with a turnover below £50,000 Towergate Professional Risks is a trading name of Towergate Underwriting Group Limited Registered Office: Towergate House, Eclipse Park, Sittingbourne Road, Maidstone, Kent ME14 3EN. Authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority

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CELEBRITY

Marianne Williamson Shining a light

By Eve Menezes Cunningham

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ots of people who don’t think they’ve heard of Marianne Williamson know her beautiful words about our fears, not of being inadequate but of being “powerful beyond measure.” The passage from her book, A Return to Love, is often attributed to Nelson Mandela because he chose to use it in his inaugural speech. Marianne radiates serenity and calm so it’s strange to read about her earlier struggles in A Return to Love. This bestselling book was based around the principles in A Course of Miracles which she credits with transforming her life.” Now, Marianne is delighted about a more recent inauguration. She says, “Millions of people, not just in the United States but around the world, have helped create a conversation that fuelled the opening for Obama to run for President. Now he’s won, it creates an even bigger opening. “This is no longer a time in which people are hearing something new. We’ve all read the same books. We’ve all listened to the same tapes. It’s time to move from belief into experience. Our nervous system is aligned with the truth but it’s difficult to feel that way when someone in your life or on the news is making you want to scream. Intellectually, to a large extent, we’ve got it. Now collective impulse is necessary. “In the 80s, everything was dysfunctional. Everyone wanted to get their own individual lives on track. What’s happening on the planet now is not as simple as ‘just do this, this and this’ so the new challenge is not just to do something different but to become someone different.” While Marianne is very serious about issues like the economy, she says, “We all know in our hearts that this is an ultimately positive correction and one that had to happen. When we feel the hurt, it behooves us to remember there are people for whom it’s worse.” We should use it as

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a great opportunity to differentiate between the ‘things we want’ and ‘things we need’.” Marianne says that there are “Common anthropological characteristics among species. A mama bear sensing a threat to her baby bear will do anything to protect that cub. The adult female hyena will create a circle around her babies to protect them while they eat before she’ll allow the male to get to the food.” She wants human women and men to build that same maternal energy. “We’re being called to love at a new level. We need to love children across town and across the world. Women voters across the world need to say, ‘Tell me first, how are we going to make sure that the babies are fed? No I don’t want to hear about the bombs you’re going to build until you tell me how are all the children going to be fed?’ “If the women of the western world insisted over the past forty or fifty years that all the babies had to be fed before anything else was done, 9/11 would not have occurred.” Ultimately, she’s hopeful about the future of humanity and the planet. Marianne says, “Our problem solving repertoire is so much wider than what we do. What does prayer have to do with this? What does meditation have to do with this?” She quotes Einstein saying that no problem could be solved from the same level it was created. Her answer for everything is meditate, meditate, meditate. And she’s a great advertisement for finding inner peace this way. She says, “You teach what you need to learn. The days I don’t meditate are harder. As a student of A Course in Miracles, I do the workbook.” she also has a mantra from TM. “They’re my tools. But don’t give yourself a hard time [if you’re not meditating] on top of not benefiting from it.” For people who may be wary about starting meditating in case nasty


CELEBRITY

I am not depressed when I look at the gap between me and an enlightened master because I look at the gap between me and the person I was stuff surfaces, Marianne says, “That’s nothing compared to what will come up if they don’t meditate.” Meditating regularly will bring them “Greater peace, clarity and wisdom.” “We’ve been trained to believe in the power of external forces and that we’re dependent. If things got bad enough, medicine, the economy or the government could fix it. It’s about building a house on a rock, not on sand. Your house is yourself. Our houses are falling down. Look at the economic crisis in the world today. Even ten years ago, the economic system didn’t look like the house of cards it’s looking like now. “People got so excited about the film Titanic because, at an archetypal level, we know we’re on it. We’re heading towards an iceberg, environmental catastrophe, nuclear catastrophe. The Titanic Captain had the power to turn the ship around. But he was shouted down by the owner of the company so he went into his cabin and fell asleep. Now, the news is so intense, we’re falling asleep at the wheel worrying about Britney and hemlines. “In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus asked his disciples to stay awake. It’s like Amnesty’s soul force. Even when you can’t do anything, you’re not going to go to sleep in that hour of agony. We’re turning things around and we’re turning it around in time, turning the world around in time. There’s a shift from, ‘well there’s nothing I can do about it’ to ‘well at least I’ll die trying’ from ‘these things happen’ to ‘not on my watch’. Those who hate on the planet today display more hate than the people who love display love.” Marianne believes that by taking responsibility for our own emotions, we’ll be better able to demonstrate love and bring about peace. She says, “If you have insight into what makes an individual change, you have insight into how a nation can change. Each of us has an internal guidance system, power to guide us moment by moment. Our thoughts and behaviour make all the difference. “We’re living in a moment of profound opportunity. Every single day look at your life. Look back on the day. Were you judgemental? Were you forgiving? Were you a blessing on yourself and those around you? Did you waste time or did you use it creatively? Check it out for yourself, wherever you got it right, be willing to keep doing it. Aim for more positivity than negativity. “Did you show up for excellence? You can just wait for life to unfold in any way or you can decide ‘today is a day I’m going to give of myself to be my creative best’. When you make yourself a proactive participant, that and only that will bring you happiness. Happiness is not out there.

It’s something you generate. “Stop reading bad books. Stop reading junk magazines. Stop watching bad TV. Go to the wheel and turn that thing around. Vibrate higher. God has the answer to every problem the moment the problem occurs. You can get high enough. I am not depressed when I look at the gap between me and an enlightened master because I look at the gap between me and the person I was. Upgrading the system is like upgrading a computer. But you have to sit there while programme downloads. That’s what we do when we meditate. “Choose the great movie over the stupid movie. Choose the great book over the stupid book. Choose the forgiving thought. There are people having this kind of conversation all around the world. If we are spirits, there’s no place where one stops and another starts. To some extent, I’m the captain of the Titanic and I choose to turn this ship around. I don’t want to be who I used to be, I don’t want the world to be what it used to be. Become who you are capable of being. Know when you die that you died trying. Imagine thinking ‘Oh my gosh, there’s not a war on anywhere!’” Marianne’s prescription for everyone is “Daily practice of meditation and prayer. Imagine a doctor’s prescription. Would you go back to see the doctor and say, ‘Well, I took them on some days but not on others’? It’s spiritual exercise. It works if you keep coming back. “You brush your teeth because you’re not going into the day today with yesterday’s dirt on your body. If you don’t meditate and pray, you’re not just sauntering out with your stress but with the stress of the economy, the war and everything else. We know what we have to do. We may not like what we know we have to do but we know. With spiritual experience as with physical experience, when you’re doing it, your body wants to do it. If I meditate in the morning, the chances of my sending off an email or something that I shouldn’t are greatly reduced.” For anyone feeling a bit gloomy about their own life or the future of the planet, Marianne points out that when something’s not working, you “hit a wall and bottom out. Something in you cracks open. But when you look back, you see that it was not the end but a beginning. Circumstances eat you up but if you look at the world through the eyes of the spirit you see that there are only infinite resources.” Visit www.marianne.com for more information and to order Marianne’s books and CDs.

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COACHING

Lifesong: Transformation.... NLP coach and songwriter Leo Lourdes talks with Caitlin Collins

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eo Lourdes is passionate about a lot of things, including yoga and NLP and music and song-writing and the psychobiology of mind-body interaction. He’s especially passionate about his work as a coach and trainer in which he brings elements of these together to facilitate a client’s transformation. His own path has led him to develop the Lifesong Process, applying NLP in an inspirational way to facilitate change through the medium of music and song-writing. The power of song ‘Long before NLP discovered anchors, there were simply songs,’ says Leo. ‘Songs can change your mood instantly.’ The word ‘music’ comes from the ancient Greek ‘mousiké’ meaning ‘like the muses’ – the goddesses through whose blessing humans could be inspired. The parents of the muses were Zeus and Mnemosyne, herself the goddess of memory. ‘In combining NLP and song-writing, I’m particularly interested in music and memory, and how music and song can do more than help you to change your state – they can help you remember who you really are,’ says Leo. ‘Of course you can be moved by someone else’s music, but your own songs take it to another level. Your own songs are about self-discovery, exploring what’s going on in your world. This isn’t so much about remembering the past, more about connecting to the core of your being.’ The power of music and song has been appreciated for a very long time, undoubtedly long before the first recorded use of music therapy – in 10th century Persia, where it was recommended for its therapeutic effects on the soul! As Leo explains, singing is therapeutic in many ways. The human voice can create an extraordinarily rich diversity of sounds. Sounds are primary, preceding the meanings of words: if we listen to a song in a language we don’t know, we can still pick up the emotion expressed in the song. Singing can help to restore personal power, re-vitalising the energy centre in the belly or hara. It’s a way to get in touch with and communicate our feelings

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authentically. When we talk, we can use words in ways that are not true to our feelings – NLP students learn early in their training to look out for incongruence between words and body language! However, in singing, we have to be congruent for the song to work. And singing and song-writing harmonize the two sides of the brain: the ability to sing is a right brain activity while the ability to understand language is a left brain activity. Creating Infinity The Lifesong Process arose out of Leo’s own experience. ‘My own compositions are about generating spaces or ‘soundscapes’ that are open ended so that people can apply their own meanings and be uplifted and inspired,’ he

Music and song can help you remember who you really are says. ‘The magic began with a wonderful wand I received in 2001 – NLP Master Practitioner training, which enabled me to become Director of Coaching at Futuremind in Harley Street. I found myself becoming fascinated by the use of lyrics and music in songs and how that could be combined with NLP. When I went through some personal challenges in 2004, I started to write what at first seemed like poetry. I thought it was my unconscious expressing my emotions in words. Then I started waking at 3am with melodies in my head. I would sit at my window writing first by moonlight, and then on into the dawn with the sunrise. What a great way to start the day!’ Leo did not have a background in music. ‘I had no musical training – the closest I’d got to playing an instrument was using my iPod! However these melodies were coming to me and inspiring me – and I knew that I had to follow the advice I’d give my clients to get

out of the way to let the ideas shine through and keep the flow moving. The words I was writing started to merge with the melodies. I don’t know about you, but I love the process of taking planning into action. It’s one of the greatest ways to know you’re not just living but truly alive! From these words and melodies has come a 13-tracked album called Infinity!’ Transformation The Lifesong Process can guide people to deepen their understanding of their own emotions and of their larger questions about life. ‘Change is a major concept in NLP,’ Leo explains. ‘It’s also a greatly over-used word. What I’m interested in is greater than change. I’m interested in transformation. I’m talking about when change happens as an evolution of elements, when the gritty stuff of life is used to bring about something creative and meaningful. This is a familiar concept in NLP: for example, when we do parts work, we work with aspects that might be considered not so good, and we find out how to understand how beneficial they really are. It’s about embracing all of life, not rejecting anything. You can do this through song-writing: it’s a way to delve into the unconscious, and the understanding will come out in the song, and there’s the transformation. Helping a client write their own lyrics and find melodies that express how they would like to feel enables transformation to take place in an empowering way. The music is then not about memories but about the present and the future. It’s helping the client access their potential and awaken dormant creative reserves and through their music evoke and store empowering states. And what’s really great is that the song is not about somebody else’s experience that they’re relating to, but is a unique expression of their own feelings in their own creation.’ Leo points out that psychotherapy and coaching are generally ‘talking cures’ in the sense of relying heavily on language. ‘I’m a firm believer in conversational changes,’


COACHING

. through Music and Songwriting he says; ‘and you can pack lots of linguistic change patterns into song lyrics – positive language, anchors, visual imagery, phonic and punctuational ambiguity, clean language, questioning and so on. But I like to think that the Lifesong Process is about the client singing solutions rather than talking cures, and in the process creating something tangible.’ Literally so: Leo and his music producer Jason Emberton provide all the technical backup needed to enable clients to create their own soundscapes in their own recordings, whether of one song or an entire album. As Leo puts it: ‘We take great care in helping our clients – actually our artists – to create something unique that will change their lives. I believe that the greatest use of NLP is not purely in running NLP courses – it’s in applying it to what inspires you.’ Leo is offering a 10 day NLP and Yoga retreat exploring song and movement in August and September 2009, in the Maldives. For more information about this and the Lifesong Process, please visit www.futureminded.co.uk

LEO’S LIFESONG TIPS: LYRICS, INSPIRATION, FOCUS, EXPRESSION, STYLE, OBLIQUE, NARRATION, GLOW Lyrics: Lyrics are the DNA of your song. Think relevancy and simplicity; also prosody – metre, rhyme and stress. The best lyrics are those that are memorable and strike a chord. Inspiration: Get into the zone and your writing will be beautifully unconscious with no effort. If it feels contrived, allow yourself to be inspired by getting in the right state. Try looking through old diary entries or photographs or go for a walk in nature – get lost and find a song! Focus: The music is where most of the meaning is felt whereas the words are where the song is understood. What instruments would you like? What feelings would you like your song to evoke? If you close your eyes, is that feeling a thumping

drum or heightened violins? You want to get the core melody right and build outwards from there. Expression: Writing a song is an invitation to express yourself more authentically. Many people fear public speaking and many more are scared of being heard singing – though most of us sing in private. Releasing your voice by singing beyond the shower, you’ll find your confidence and vitality growing. Style: What soundscape of feeling would you like the song to create? If your song were a place, a person or a time in your life or history what would it be? What genre will best suit your song?

Oblique: Lyrics are poetry. As Emily Bronte said,‘Poetry enters the mind obliquely’. The best songs are those which allow the listener the freedom to create their own meaning. Narration: The song should unfold as it tells a story, evoking an emotional state of your choice (ideally a peak state). Think of a particular mood or experience to inspire you as opposed to making it too general. Glow: This is where you shine. Through your realised voice and your own authentic song, you can create something that glows, warming you up and enthusing listeners. Glow means the song is an expression of the source, which is and always has been YOU.

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HEALTH

A positive approach to your health Make laughter your best medicine By Eve Menezes Cunningham

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S researchers from Duke University have found that positive attitudes to health make a real difference. This supports other research (from John Hopkins University) where people who described their health as “poor” (regardless of their actual conditions) doubled their risk of death within five years. Additional research found that laughter reduces the risk of heart disease while chronically angry people are four to five times more likely to have a heart attack. As well as being, well, fun, laughter boosts immune system function and decreases stress hormones. As we get too busy to remember how to do what came naturally when we were small children, there are things we can do to help us bring more laughter into our lives. Kate Hull Rodger, founder of HumourUs (geddit?) helps people build their laughter muscles. But, having been mentally ill in her 20s, Kate has had times when the last thing she’s felt like doing was laughing. She started her own healing process by “acknowledging and honouring my accomplishments, even when it was as simple as ‘I answered the door’ or ‘I walked the dog’.” Kate also recommends watching funny sitcoms. For people for whom the very idea of

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laughing feels like an affront, Kate recommends taking baby steps. “Start by noticing the little things that happen naturally and bring a smile to your face.” Kate got into the laughter business because she was asked to talk about her own experiences with mental health and wanted to offer people more than just her story. She realised that laughter had played an enormous part in her recovery so used it as the focus of her stress management with companies. Laughter helps our blood pressure and creates endorphins. Kate says, “Laughter has huge health benefits. Endorphins are like natural morphine, anti-inflamatories and muscle relaxants. They also block cortisol and stress related adrenaline. So laughter actually inhibits the process of getting stressed. “The immune system gets a kickstart. There’s anecdotal research to say that treatment times are less for people who have a life to which they want to return. People who laugh a lot digest their food more quickly. Especially with glucose (so this has an impact for people with Type 2 Diabetes). “A lot of our work is about helping to reduce stress by having a lighter attitude towards life. Stress is such an indicator for all the biggies cancer, strokes, heart disease – but even leaves

you more open to colds.” “What I’ve chosen to do is focus it in workplaces as it is such a place of stress. People have more control over their home life. Efficiency and effectiveness improve when you’re happy and managers often bring me in almost to give people permission to laugh.” Kelly Rose Bradford attended a laughter workshop with Southend based therapist Angela Day. She says it involved, “Exploring joy and what makes us joyous, and how we can let joy back into our lives.” If you’re thinking about attending a laughter workshop, Kelly says, “Expect the unexpected. Don’t go in expecting to be tickled with feathers or told endless jokes (like I did). It is much cleverer than that. And do be honest with your therapist and open minded about his or her ideas and practices.” She says she left the workshop literally feeling, “A spring in my step and joy in my heart. It changed the way I thought about my perception of happiness and laughter and the things I thought made me happy. “When I am feeling down I do the exercises Angela taught me - visualising the things that bring me joy and taking time out to spend a few minutes each day with music, things, photos or food that makes me joyous.”


HEALTH

“A lot of our work is about helping to reduce stress by having a lighter attitude towards life. Stress is such an indicator for all the biggies - cancer, strokes, heart disease – but even leaves you more open to colds.” - Kate Be positive and take charge of your own health If something’s wrong, don’t ignore it and hope it will go away. Make an appointment with your GP. For some people, it can be a huge step but it’s definitely worth getting it checked out. Hopefully, your medical professional will be able to reassure you and put your mind at ease but even if you need treatment or further tests, it’s far better to know what it is you’re dealing with so you can make informed decisions. Don’t be shy about asking a friend or relative to come with you if you’re worried about not being able to take in the information or just need some moral support. Once you’ve made that appointment, do something nice for yourself. Browse your local library. Many have great health sections and you’ll probably find lots of useful information to educate and empower yourself. Look online. There maybe support groups, helplines and other ways to connect with people who are going through or have been through similar health issues. Distract yourself. If you’re stuck in bed, watch the most uplifting TV and films available. If you can get out and about, exercise, spend time with fun company, get lots of fresh air and generally look after yourself. Figure out what lifestyle changes will help you heal faster. By focusing on the things you have influence over rather than passively waiting for results and feeling helpless, you’ll be better able to keep up that positive thinking. Let out any negativity and frustration by punching or screaming into pillows, talking to a trusted friend or maybe even a therapist, keeping a journal or whatever helps you. Suppressed anger and fear has to come out eventually. Let all your emotions flow and be patient with yourself. If you need to cry about your own health but feel blocked, rent a weepy movie and let it out for the fictional characters. Crying can be very cathartic. Set and stick to measurable health goals. Don’t let a scare prompt vague plans like “I’ll definitely quit smoking / lower my cholesterol / get fit”. Decide to quit by a certain day using all the help you can get (from hypnotherapy and smoking cessation clinics to self help books, nicotine replacement products and so on). Lower your cholesterol by learning to cook healthy and delicious food yourself (say, a new recipe each week). Start your fitness kick by walking at least 30 minutes a day, build up to the ideal 75 minutes over as many days or weeks as it takes. Keep taking steps in the right direction.

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HEALTH

Some of the health benefits of laughter • Reduced blood pressure • Stress relief • Stronger immune system • Natural painkiller • Improved digestion • Improved recovery times

BRING MORE LAUGHTER INTO YOUR LIFE When was the last time you laughed? If you really can’t remember, start paying attention. If you’ve been keeping an eye out for laughter and it’s missing, ask yourself when you last smiled and build up from there. Start a Laughter Log. Keep a small notebook with you throughout the day or, if you have a very good memory, update it in the evening. List absolutely everything that made you laugh. It may have been something you heard on the radio or on TV, an overheard conversation on a bus, a book you were reading or a thought. Get to know what makes your own laughter muscles strong. Watch some penguins. If you can’t see them in their natural habitat or an aquarium, watch a DVD. Studies show that it’s almost impossible for humans to view penguins on land without smiling. Apparently, it has something to do with the way they look like toddlers. Rent March of the Penguins and start smiling. Look out for TV, books and films that make you laugh out loud. (When I need cheering up, I turn to things like The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Wild Child, Four Christmases, Friends reruns…). My shelves groan with laugh inducing books like Teri Hatcher’s Toast, Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love and others by Elizabeth Wurtzel, Cynthia Heimel and many more. Even when times are tough, make an effort. Being cheerful will help your whole family / team. Think about people like the Dalai Lama. Some of the things he’s been through are hard to fathom yet he’s rarely caught on camera without an enormous, beaming smile.

Start (and keep updating) a joke collection Start collecting jokes. My favourites (below) seem to induce groans from everyone else so find some that genuinely make you chuckle. Two toothpicks hopped up a hill. Reaching the top, exhausted, they spotted a hedgehog. One turned to the other and said, “I told you we should have waited for the bus!” A mountain lion roared at a mouse, “Why are you so puny and pathetic and weak while I’m so mighty and magnificent and strong?” The mouse squeaked, “Well, I haven’t been feeling too well lately. I think I have a cold.” What do you call two rows of cabbages? A dualcabbage-way! Two sheep in a field. One says, “Baaa”. The other sighs, “Oh, I was going to say that” (This can be adapted for cows mooing and endless other animals. Hours of fun). A mother hedgehog said to her baby, “We’ve lost too many on these roads. Promise me that anytime you have to get to the other side you’ll use that crossing”. The baby looked and said, “No way! Look what happened to the poor zebra!”

Resources www.humourus.co.uk - You can also order Kate’s new book: Pearls of Bizdom – how to go from grit to great angela.day.contact@gmail.com www.applecoaching.com

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NLP

The Seven Practices of Transformational NLP By John Seymour

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ver 25 years of teaching NLP skills professionally, my students have taught me a lot. I thank you all. It took me about 5 years to notice that some students got far more from their NLP training than others. Eventually, the penny dropped, and I started to systematically research what the critical differences were, using the technology of modelling. The most interesting thing to emerge was a surprising degree of overlap among the first seven people I modelled. These patterns continued to hold true. I remember getting a lot of support from Colin Turner at the Further Education Staff College, where I was National Tutor for NLP in Further and Higher Education. Over the years I have refined this down to a set of practices or habits that seem to work very well for the overwhelming majority of students, and this is now well integrated into our NLP trainings at all levels. A year ago, I met with Paul Tosey and Jane Mathieson, who head up NLP research for the School of Management at Surrey University. With ANLP they hosted the First International Research Conference on NLP in July 2008. Paul helped us design a research project to clarify what people actually got from our Practitioner courses. By using five independent researchers, we were able to identify all the main benefits, which included increased selfconfidence, wellbeing and a much increased experience of choice in their lives. However the most satisfying finding for me was that the vast majority of students were experiencing transformational learning. That is, they were learning how to transform themselves – to become selfactualising, in Maslow’s terminology. This is notoriously hard to achieve, and has long been a goal of the Human Potential Movement. This movement was itself instrumental in giving birth to NLP in the seventies, as Michael Hall has pointed out in recent articles. To make sense of transformational learning, I need to mention Ken Wilber’s work in mapping out the main stages of development of human consciousness. To my mind, what he has accomplished is comparable to Darwin’s work on evolution. Wilber has spent his life identifying the main stages in the evolution of human consciousness from birth to enlightenment (or whatever you prefer to call it). He has done this by integrating the findings of some 200 disciplines including Western psychology and the world’s main spiritual wisdom traditions.

Going on training courses without practice doesn’t work – it is simply expensive entertainment

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Although excellent, his work is a little complex for most people, so for teaching purposes I summarise it down to three stages of childhood development, three stages of adult development, and three stages of transpersonal development. To explain more would take the rest of this article, perhaps another time. In NLP circles, the only similar model is Spiral Dynamics, by Beck and Cowan. In my view, this is rather weak on the transpersonal end, and doesn’t particularly go into practices. Why does this matter? Well, I was talking this through recently with Judith DeLozier, and we both agreed that NLP is fundamentally a set of communication skills in two main domains. One set of skills are those for inter-personal communication – communication between people. The other related set of skills are those for intra-personal communication – communication within a person. Since skills need practice to develop,


NLP clearly learning NLP skills needs practice. This is why all reputable NLP trainings encourage students to set up practice groups. Where they succeed, I believe this helps the inter-personal skills more than the intra-personal. And yet, the intra-personal skills are the essential ones for personal development and transformational learning. Indeed, without them, there is a very real glass ceiling on the development of interpersonal skills. These skills include awareness of your own internal processes, let’s call this self-awareness (quite different from self-consciousness). More importantly for any transpersonal development, they include the ability to temporarily suspend your internal thought processes (through basic mediation techniques), and the ability to stabilise the 3rd position – the ‘witness’, as it is know in the wisdom traditions. Of the seven practices outlined below, the major focus is on intrapersonal skills, which is why I believe they are so effective. This potted summary is empirically based on my, and my fellow trainers experiences with thousands of students. It has also been influenced by the Integral Life Practices developed by Ken Wilber and his outstanding team at the Integral Institute - thank you folks. These core practices tend to work better in the sequence below. Because one size does not fit all, it is really important that you tailor each one to your individual needs. A practice is any habit sustained across time for the purpose of developing yourself. Here are the seven practices that lay down the habits of self-sustained personal development and lead to personal transformation. Practice One – Clarifying Core Values and Life Purpose This practice establishes your inner compass for steering your life in your chosen direction. It is important to revisit this two or three times each year. This gives you a way of keeping your life ‘on track’, and makes decision making much easier. If you have done this before, you will know the value of it. If you have not, be patient with yourself. It is a profound exercise and the answers will take time to clarify themselves as they emerge from the unconscious mind. You may prefer to do this with a close friend over a few hours, by journaling over a week or so, or both. Keep asking yourself this question: ‘What are my top five life values?’ Identify the main keywords and/or phrases that keep coming up for you, and write them down. Ideally allow the top five, but no more than the top ten, that seem to be the most important for you at this stage of your life, to float to the top. Next, ask yourself which is more important than which? When you can place them in whichever rank order you are most congruent about, you are done. This will typically take a lot of repeats, and cause much reflective thinking. You are now ready to move on to the second stage, the clarification of your life purpose. This is best done by writing. Start a sentence: ‘The purpose of my life is… ‘ Now, relax, allow yourself to feel creative, and acting as if you have

some idea of what you are here for, complete the above sentence. If in doubt, just make it up. This is only a first draft. Notice which aspects you are happy with, and which you are not. Write out the start again: ‘The purpose of my life is… ‘ and complete it again, with whatever modifications seem like an improvement to you. Keep repeating this process and you will gradually get clearer on your life purpose. If you have never done this before, again, be patient with yourself. It may take as few as ten, or as many as fifty, repeats, before you feel reasonably congruent with what you have written. Practice Two – Life Planning Having a compass is not enough on its own. This is where you start developing a route map for your life. As with the first practice, the process is simple, but not easy. Stay curious and unattached to results. Some results will show up simply by clarifying your intentions. Some will not, and you will need to reflect on your outcomes, often chunking them down to smaller or different ones. In my experience you can double the

effectiveness of life planning, by paying as much attention to issues/ limitations/problems as to intentions/outcomes/goals. In both cases identify the smallest number with the greatest leverage. By leverage, I mean looking for those which, if achieved or resolved, would make the most significant difference to you. As with the first practice, it is important to revisit this two or three times a year. A robust way of doing this, is to divide your life into whatever you consider to be the seven main areas. You must figure out what these are for yourself. Next, on a clear page (best in your learning journal, if you have one) draw a grid of seven rows and three columns. The three columns are for three different time frames. If you are a beginner, I would recommend one month, one year, and ten years. Finally in each box enter at least one highly leveraged outcome and issue, and preferably no more than three of each. Allow a few hours for doing this, on your own, or with a close friend. Remember these are intentions only. Do not try to make yourself

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NLP

do them, the willpower model is notoriously ineffective. You are also forbidden from beating yourself up when you ‘fail’. You are, however, allowed to become intensely curious about what results do, and don’t, show up. You can also be curious as to what you might learn about yourself from whatever results you get. And this is where the other practices begin. Practice Three – Weekly Practice Groups (or 1:1s) If you want to learn to be really good at NLP, this will take a lot of practice. Going on training courses without practice doesn’t work – it is simply expensive entertainment. This is why practice groups evolved. They can and do work to help you build all those sophisticated change skills. Find or create a practice group – they will be provided as part of any reputable NLP training course. In brief, they typically meet one evening per week at someone’s home for two or three hours. Usually there will be between three and six people. Have a pleasant social beginning and end, because if you don’t make it enjoyable, you won’t keep going. However, the important bit is practicing all those skills you have learning, in the three classic roles of client, practitioner, and observer. Always split the time equally between the three roles, and always respect client confidentiality. The client gets to explore whatever issue and/or outcome they choose. Once you have established daily journaling, you will be much clearer on what to go for, as client. The practitioner gets to practice their NLP skills – rapport and information gathering will loom large here, with emphasis on language skills and staying cleanly in the client’s model of the world. Diagnosis and change skills will follow naturally. The observer keeps track of time and gets to observe the quality of the practitioner’s moves. By paying close attention to what works, what doesn’t, and what you might have done differently, you are well placed to learn the most from the interaction. Also, when the practitioner gets stuck, you will be more able to coach them effectively on what to do next – remember questions usually work better than telling. It is worth having a five minute debrief at the end of each round, covering what you each noticed and learned from it. After a few years of practice groups, it can work well to substitute regular 1:1 sessions with a skilled peer. Without regular 1:1 sessions, your development will hit a glass ceiling resulting from your accumulated blind spots.

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Practice Four – Daily Reflective Journaling This builds awareness, provides a reality check, and supports daily practices. The aim of keeping a learning journal isn’t so much about what you write. It is more to develop the habit of reflecting regularly on your life, as you live it, one day at a time. And the purpose of this is to build the habits of learning, not external stuff, but about what does, and doesn’t, work for you, and who you are becoming. Most people use an A5 spiral hardback notebook, bought specifically for the purpose. Find your own way of making it an enjoyable part of your daily rituals. Aim to spend ten to twenty minutes/day on this practice. First think about what has happened in the last 24 hours. Ask yourself what has been significant, what’s on top? Write briefly. What has worked? What have you enjoyed? What hasn’t worked? And most importantly, the learning question, what would you do differently? This includes all the crucial inner stuff. What would you think, feel, and believe differently? If you don’t know, which we usually don’t, ask yourself how a favourite role model would have dealt with the same situation. If you’re still not sure, take a guess. Finally mentally rehearse your best option until you are congruent. This latter is what really burns it in to your neural networks. Doing all this regularly lays down the habits of the person you are becoming, rather than repeating those of the person you were. Second, think about the next 24 hours. Not the to-do lists, these live in your normal diary. This part of your daily journaling is really about developing yourself, and your capabilities. Here you set small goals, baby steps, which will move you towards the significant goals you clarified in the first month of your life plan. Here also, you will take baby steps in learning from the significant issues that lie between you, and becoming the person you want to be. As you keep setting your intentions for the next 24 hours, remember not to be attached to them. Some will happen, and some won’t. Willpower and beating yourself up continue to be forbidden. Just stay curious about which ones show up, and which don’t. When they don’t, you probably need to change your outcome, often chunking it down to a smaller one, or you need to change your approach to achieving it. This practice really helps develop your self-awareness. It will be frustrating in the first few weeks. Equally, it will really start to pay off in the first few months. This practice leads naturally into the next. Practice Five – Growing Your Daily Practices This is the only way to sustainably develop yourself, and your quality of life. Always remember, a practice is a habit you do regularly for the purpose of developing yourself. Start with the most motivating and use your journaling to track results. These will take time to show up, so be patient. Keep varying your practices as you make progress. Here are a few common examples for you to choose from: Time management, financial habits, emotional awareness, emotional resilience, learning from issues, the learning question, mental rehearsal, relaxation (downtime), meditation, optimum diet, supplements, strengthening your witness (3rd position), modelling others, exercise, developing conscious/unconscious relationship, reading, auditory mind-


NLP

food (good for listening to in car - Eckhart Tolle is a current favourite for those with an interest in the transpersonal), internal resource room, learning something completely new, voluntary simplicity, financial independence, self modelling, letting death be your advisor, insight meditation (vipassana), professional development, appreciation/gratitude, volunteering/contribution, finding enjoyment in all you do, etc.

Practice Seven – The Four Quadrants – Cross-training This last practice brings into play Wilber’s profound insights into the four quadrants of human experience. It is too sophisticated to summarise here, but if you have got this far, reading about Wilber’s AQAL framework will do the job nicely. Again, look for your weakest quadrant and develop your practices in that quadrant first.

Practice Six – The Four Levels – Cross-training These last two practices are really a refinement of the last one. They are based on the pioneering work in this area by Ken Wilber and his Integral Institute. These practices will move you beyond egoic adulthood and take you into the realms of the transpersonal, with all the considerable benefits that this brings. One central concept is that of cross-training. Research has shown that a mixed balance of practices will achieve more development with less effort than focussing on a single area. Here is the briefest introduction. However to make sense of it, I strongly recommend you get hold of ‘Integral Life Practice’, either the book, or the starter kit (which includes CDs and DVDs by world class teachers).

Aim to build a balance of practices across all four quadrants: • Individual Interior e.g. the learning question & mental rehearsal, meditation • Individual Exterior e.g. nutrition and physical exercise • Collective Interior e.g. practice groups, co-coaching, training • Collective Exterior e.g. contribution, voluntary simplicity, sustainable lifestyle

Balance your range of practices across the four developmental levels of: • Body e.g. aerobics, tai chi, weight training • Emotion (including ‘Shadow’), e.g. awareness, choice, therapy • Mind e.g. reading and study, belief systems, integral AQAL (All Quadrants All Levels) framework • Spirit e.g. concentration meditation, vipassana, the 1, 2, 3, of ‘God’ Whichever level you are currently weakest at is the one to go for first.

That’s the potted summary, and congratulations on making it this far. If you are motivated to make a start on developing your practices, you will find an expanded guide to most of this material in our free monthly newsletter or on the John Seymour Associates website. We have refined this material over twenty years, and it really works. Please take it, use it, and pass it on. If you talk with people who are interested in doing NLP training, this material is thoroughly embedded in all our NLP courses at JSA. It makes a huge difference to the effectiveness of our students. If you are a trainer, and wish to use this material, I would appreciate a mention as a leading co-developer. Thank you. Go well and be well.

References John Seymour, monthly Newsletter Articles, free. To read previous months articles – www.john-seymour-associates.co.uk, or, for free monthly subscription email: enquiries@john.seymour-associates.co.uk or phone 08456 580654 Integral Life Practice, book by Ken Wilber, Terry Patten, Adam Leonard, and Marco Morelli, £15ish Integral Life Practice, Starter Kit, £120ish – www.integralinstitute.org

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CELEBRITY AUTHOR

ISABEL LOSADA

FROM NLP TO ENLIGHTENMENT By Eve Menezes Cunningham

way out in suburbia. I’d had to give up my acting career. I wanted to tell this person where they could put their silly new age ideas. But gradually, as the years went by, I realised that the more I was able to accept responsibility, the better off I was. “We’re not 100% responsible for what happens to us but we are responsible for how we react. I don’t go along with those who believe that we create everything. I don’t think that if we get cancer we secretly have a death wish. That would require a bizarre understanding of reality. “The extent to which its true is that if we see the world as a kind and loving place, the world will respond in a kind and loving way.” She remembers a police officer friend who thought the world was filled with criminals because the people he was dealing with every day had generally done something against the law. Isabel says, “I have benefitted enormously from ten years in self awareness seminars of various kinds. I am currently working on a new book in which I’m looking at the things that interest me more now. I hope I continue to walk a path between scepticism and open mindedness.” “But I recently had my first experience of what I consider to be malpractice. It wasn’t that someone was deliberately setting out to cause harm. They were using Feng Shui as a means of doing a confrontational therapy while not being qualified as a therapist.” In all her books, Isabel’s openness has left me open-mouthed with shock as well as making me laugh out loud. She says, “I do the opposite of censoring myself: I censor myself from censoring. I grit my teeth and keep writing. I think we are going too much the way America has gone. Someone asks ‘How are you?’ and the response is always ‘Very well, thank you. Everyone is going marvellously!’ Especially in professional circles and with media types. “Happiness has always been a subject I’ve been interested in but desolation is the chief emotion I’ve experienced most in the past couple of years. Everything I’ve ever wanted almost came to me, both personally and professionally, and went away again. Losing the

I do the opposite of censoring myself: I censor myself from censoring. I grit my teeth and keep writing

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read Losada’s bestseller The Battersea Park Road to Enlightenment a few years before beginning my own NLP training (and still remember attracting funny looks by laughing aloud on the tube). After prioritising her personal development and trying all sorts of ways to reach enlightenment (including NLP) in The Battersea Park Road to Enlightenment, she turned her focus outward and became very involved with trying to help Tibet. Her book about this journey, originally called For Tibet with Love was renamed The Beginner’s Guide to Changing the World. Isabel’s latest book, Men, is about her quest to find a single, available and interesting man. Isabel says that taking responsibility for your life is “the hardest lesson to learn.” She remembers being at her first ever personal development seminar being told “by a grinning Californian that, ‘You are 100% responsible for your life’.” At the time, Isabel was feeling trapped alone at home with her toddler daughter, putting her life back together after her marriage had ended. She says, “I had no parents and no brothers and sisters and was living

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CELEBRITY AUTHOR

Real success, I think, is about learning unconditional love. We need to measure success in terms of our relationships with others relationship left me questioning absolutely everything. Men was a very difficult project because I wasn’t looking for an explanation, I wanted a solution.” She says that not having a family, relationship or people around at work means that she values time with other people more. There was a very moving section in Men where she was especially keen to board with a woman once she found out that she had recently been widowed. Isabel says, “Someone who’s elderly, bereaved and on their own becomes lonely. Therefore, they appreciate human contact more than someone else who’s running a B&B but who really wants the guests to go away. I welcome a quality of interaction. I never enjoyed pubs. My acting background means I enjoy being the centre of attention. It makes it hard to be a writer because it’s so isolating.” I know lots of people who love Isabel’s books so much, they’d happily read her shopping lists. So it’s strange to read some of the rejections she got for The Battersea Park Road to Enlightenment (http://www.isabellosada. com/rejectionletters.html) Isabel says, “I had my first success with Battersea after many years of disasters. Success is a kind of an illusion, especially being an author. I have five books in 15 languages so people think that I’m an internationally best selling author. This, of course, is a complete joke because many, many more people have never heard of me and think ‘who?’ “When I go to a book group to speak about my books, I walk in and they’re in awe because I’m an author. As a result, many are unable to string a sentence together so I say, ‘Look, I earn less than someone who works on a supermarket checkout’ and it immediately bursts the bubble.” Isabel says, “Real success, I think, is about learning unconditional love. We need to measure success in terms of our relationships with others. I don’t do anger at all. I have a cure for anger – I really believe that people do the best they can. I believe that if we had a video of the first six years of anyone’s life, we’d become so full of compassion. I don’t see the point of carrying around anger and sadness.” Although Men is as funny as Isabel’s other books, it’s also quite sad. Isabel says she wrote it because, “There are many books out there that tell you that if you’re a single woman alone – and we all know, sadly, that

there are hundreds of beautiful single women out there alone – that, if you do the inner work, the man will come. But there are actually very few genuinely interesting and available men.” She told me about a TV presenter who did a show called ‘How to Find a Husband.’ “But it never aired because she couldn’t, by the end, find anyone she actually wanted to marry.” Isabel says that when she speaks to groups of beautiful, successful single women in Brighton, “their single status is less to do with them than the fact that they live in the gay capital of Britain. Assuming that you don’t have major issues, it’s not your fault. You do not need to have therapy, to see a psychiatrist, to have your breasts made bigger, smaller or higher. There is nothing wrong with you. Still, you only need one man. Statistics actually mean nothing.”

www.isabellosada.com http://www.actfortibet.org/ Isabel says, “I hope China and Chinese government will realise the benefits to China of entering into genuine negotiation with His Holiness, The Dalai Lama and the Tibetan Government in Exile and that, in his lifetime, we’ll see him as the leader of Tibet.” She recommends reading A Beginner’s Guide to Changing the World to learn about the different groups in an entertaining way.

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BUSINESS INTERVIEW

Hertfordshire County Council recognises

The Positive Effects of NLP By Eve Menezes Cunningham

When most people think about NLP and communication, they think of public speaking and high flying executives. But NLP can help anyone who wants to improve their communication skills.

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n the case of working with people with Asperger Syndrome (AS), it can feel more like a need to be understood. AS is an autism spectrum disorder. It affects non-verbal communication skills and empathy and is often confused with high-functioning autism. In recent years, some awareness of the condition has been raised by TV characters with AS on programmes including Waterloo Road, Grey’s Anatomy and The Shield. And businesses are paying attention. Julie Inglis runs a programme(www.pps-training. co.uk) which uses NLP skills to help carers and parents as well as people with AS understand more and be understood.

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Julie says, “There’s lots of theory available around AS and there are lots of academics but my course is designed to be as practical as possible. If you have children with it or are working in the field you need practical tools. People used to say, ‘There’s nothing you can do’ but that’s not what I believe. “Initially, I started going into schools. I’d do inset days, training teachers and doing mentoring work. Hertfordshire County Council found me at an exhibition. They were keen to do a pilot. They said, ‘All these years, I’ve been coming here looking for someone like you and you’re just up the road!’” Since 2005, Julie’s programme has trained

more than 200 people. They’re contracted until 2010 with Hertfordshire and are talking to other London Boroughs and local councils. Julie can see things from both sides. She says, “I have children and stepchildren with Asperger’s. I struggled for years. We had trouble with education, problems with the police and drug issues.” Julie says that AS is widespread: “It’s much more common than people realise. My son, Toby, was diagnosed last summer. Everybody thought he had ADHD until he was 15. We had a coach working with us. As a parent, your life is falling apart. But at the same time, something’s really badly wrong and everyone’s telling you it’s your fault. Having someone who’s not caught up in that is really helpful. “I wanted to do something about it. I started off as a coach, coaching families but it wasn’t moving fast enough. I thought ‘we need more coaches’. On my own, I could only get so much done. Largely, what happens is that people come to me because they are parents. When they’ve had some coaching, they start to see wood for trees and want to make a difference and use their expertise to help other parents. “People with Asperger’s take things very literally. They can’t keep options open. They need closure. Everything you ever hear is taken in a


BUSINESS INTERVIEW

literal way. Think of all the metaphors we use without thinking, like ‘pull your socks up’. “My son was in court because he was found holding a hammer in the middle of the night. The judge said, ‘You have to sleep at your house’. He was happy to sleep there during the day and thought that was enough. You really need to give specific instructions. Everything they hear is taken absolutely literally. If a judge knew that, it could make a huge difference with the way they sentence people.” NLP models, such as rapport skills, perceptual positions and strategies offer practical solutions. For example, Julie says someone with AS who is visual, “which a lot of them are, doesn’t even have the 7%. They’re never going to visual cues up naturally. They don’t recognise when I’m angry, don’t recognise when I’m confused but I can teach them ‘This is what I look like when I am angry. This is what I look like when I’m sad.’ And the Perceptual Positions help them see other people’s points of view. “Teaching them rapport skills enables them to have friends perhaps for the very first time. People with Asperger’s often want friends but have no idea how to build relationships so this is very empowering. The application of NLP can create ‘Ripples of Change’ (our trade mark) that develop and grow over time.” Mark Dixon manages the Community Learning Disabilities Team for Hertfordshire County Council. He has been offering Julie’s training since 2005. Mark says, “A colleague of mine, Anne Lafferty, was on a course in London. I’d worked in partnership with her, assessing needs. We didn’t offer training at the time and Anne was aware that we were looking for a trainer.” When she saw Julie’s stand at an exhibition, things clicked. Mark says the training has made a “vast” difference: “We engage with a private and

voluntary organisation called Robinia Support Solutions Care. Most of their staff have now been trained specifically for working with people with Asperger’s and high functioning autism. Appropriate staff can be employed to help them lead more fulfilling lives.”

After staff had been trained, we went back to get feedback and they felt much more confident The first group they worked with were “five young men with Asperger’s. The original remit was aiming for them to move on from the residential unit within three years. During the first few months, there was no discernable difference. But after staff had been trained, we went back to get feedback and they felt much more confident. They had a better understanding as well as tools and techniques which enabled them to work more effectively with them. Literally, within nine months, we had three of them moving into more independent living. They used to cost [Hertfordshire County Council] £89K per annum. Now two cost £35K and one is costing nothing. And there are no influences other than the training. “More and more people being diagnosed across the autistic spectrum. Asperger’s was one of those things that wasn’t recognised but now we’re hoping we’ll have an effective and trained workforce. If we have a knowledgeable enough staff group, they can do some intervention work. In the past, we’ve only come across them when families are in crisis. “We’ve engaged with a whole range of

services and we involve parents. Social workers don’t know everything by reading a book on Asperger’s. The training enables people to come away with a toolkit.” Karen Moxom, ANLP Director and Rapport’s Publisher, attended one of Julie’s courses for carers and parents. She says, “It was a wonderful course. My eight-year-old has recently been diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD, but it’s very interesting from a business angle, too. “Julie has had funding from Hertfordshire County Council to run this course. They’re keen to get it piloted as they can already demonstrate considerable improvements through Care in the Community. And it’s beneficial for getting NLP out there. “I think what Julie is doing is absolutely wonderful and really interesting. The course is aimed at parents, carers, people working with adolescents and adult learners, and yet there was so much of interest and relevance to anyone working with any age group. The five-day course was free for parents (funded by Hertfordshire County Council) and it’s such a valuable thing for any parent to do. Our consultant psychologist gave us a “clinical diagnosis” and then said we needed to find the tools and techniques for dealing with our son. This course easily and effectively delivers those techniques and creates an opportunity for parents and carers to make a real difference to those living with ASC and ADHD.” For more information about Julie’s training programme and resources, please visit www.pps-training.co.uk. For more information about the initiatives at Hertfordshire County Council, visit www.hertsdirect.org.

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RESEARCH

NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming)

A brilliant tool or a load of “mumbo jumbo” Can NLP work with young children who display varying Social, Emotional Behavioural Difficulties? By Lisa Squirrell

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fter embarking on my NLP Practitioner’s training with Kath Temple of The Lifelong Learning Company back in January and March 2007 I was left wanting more. I happened to be studying for my MA (Ed) and about to start my dissertation for the final furlong. I was working in a Pupil Referral Unit for children aged 3-8 with Social Emotional Behavioural Difficulties (SEBD) and knew instinctively that a lot of the NLP techniques would be perfect to use with them. In discussion with others about this, people told me how hard it is to research NLP - let alone with children – well, I’m always up for a challenge, so I rose to it! When I began my research I looked into what had already been done, as many had suggested, I found nothing to match my intent – perfect- I had an original project! I studied five children, all in my class, who attended the unit one day per week. The children had a range of difficulties, such as living with Grandparents because of family problems through to a child with a diagnosis of Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Some displayed violence and aggression and the majority of the group had very low self-esteem.

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When planning my research I had to think of what I would test – there are too many NLP techniques to contemplate doing them all! Through discussions with staff and using my own instincts I chose some techniques, which I thought the children could access. Something I used frequently was 7/11 breathing, this is simply breathing in for 7 and out for 11 – the outward breath being longer than the inward breath, helps to clear the mind and calm the state. The adults used it frequently too – a great stress buster! Relaxation sessions were a big part of the research. I would start with the well-practised 7/11 and guide the children into a relaxed state with calming words. When they were relaxed I would lead them into visualisations to promote positive feelings, for example happiness would entail a “smile” visualisation, keeping it real for them. I got them to notice how they were feeling, intensify it, assign colours to the feelings and take them to a time in the future (future pace) where they may be able to evoke these feelings. I was worried whether the child with Autism would be able to access the relaxation - as a change in routine and being able to use the imagination is difficult for these children. However this child benefited enormously and was actually doing the visualisations at home and adding his own parts to them to help him sleep. The children all enjoyed these sessions and by the third week were grabbing their cushions and 7/11 breathing without me even telling them! We also used Relax Kids resources some weeks, which the children really enjoyed and complimented the sessions perfectly – see www.relaxkids.com for details. An important part of the research was the use of language – we used lots of positive language – taking the children forward. “Just imagine how you will feel when you have…” We thought about problem state verses positive state as many of the children had low self esteem, so we challenged unhelpful statements and the children’s belief systems, turning the language around eg. “I can’t do it.” “What would happen if you could?” or “yet” or “until now.” These sound incredibly simple, but they really do help shift children’s thinking.


RESEARCH

Another technique I used was the “I can/ I can’t arm test”. This technique requires the child with a negative perspective to hold their arm out in front of them and make it strong. You push down on it, with the child still keeping it strong. They say “I can ….” (do what ever they think they can’t) – their arm will stay up. They repeat this saying “I can’t…” - their arm will become weakened and drop down. It is ideal to repeat the “I can…” again so the children leave with the positive affirmation (although often they wanted to try the “I can’t” to see if they can make more of an effort to hold their arm up!). Go on try it – it honestly works every time! It demonstrates that by saying “I can’t” it has a weakened physiological effect on the body – just imagine all the things you will be able to do/be better at just by saying “I can”!! Unfortunately whilst my class enjoyed it and staff observed it working, when interviewing the children many showed a complete lack of understanding. One child even said “My arm stayed up because I’ve got muscles” and demonstrated a little flex of his muscles!! I would say that this technique is best left to older children (although the little ones do have fun with it – liking to keep going to prove that they can keep their arm up!). Anchoring the children worked wonders. As previously mentioned many of our children had low self-esteem. Therefore every time a child had a positive moment we would touch them on the shoulder and reinforce this feeling. What this does is it sets up the feeling – the more times you do it the stronger it becomes. When they were having a “wobble”, we would touch them on the shoulder again and remind them of a positive past incident. This then sent messages to the brain to evoke some of those feel good factors. It is a powerful technique and not only has it worked with our children but we have had good feedback from the schools we have taken it into. I also worked with the children developing their own anchors during relaxation sessions. They would press a finger and thumb together when they were experiencing the desired feeling – I called these their “magic buttons”. They could use these at a future time to resource themselves positively. I used in depth data analysis that is used routinely to assess the

children and compared this to a control group of children who had had no NLP practised upon them at all. These were through the Boxall Profile – an in-depth assessment tool to look at areas of difficulties for deprived and disadvantaged children, which allows teachers to plan for appropriate intervention. It was devised by Marjorie Boxall in the 1970’s to and contribute to the success of Nurture Groups. I also used the QCA scales. These were introduced to: “…support school improvement by offering guidance on setting improvement targets for pupils’ emotional and behavioural development.” QCA (2001). There are three strands: Learning Behaviour, Conduct Behaviour and Emotional Behaviour. The data showed overwhelmingly that the NLP group had progressed in centre more than the control group in almost all areas. The children’s progress in their mainstream schools wasn’t quite so positive, which demonstrates a need for these techniques to be integrated into schools! Since the research has taken place, NLP has been introduced to the unit’s courses (which support the parents and all school staff – including Teachers, Support Assistants and Midday Supervisors) and large cushions have been purchased for relaxation sessions. So what about the future? We know these techniques have worked it is now an exciting task to spread the word and look at the development of these and other techniques to ensure children receive the best. I would like to work on the children developing their own ideas for visualisations, the children developing their own anchors (“magic buttons”) and support staff in delivery of NLP techniques. I am also now a NLP Master Practitioner and have set up my own private therapy business “Enhance your Life” using NLP and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) for adults, children and families.

When I began my research I looked into what had already been done, as many had suggested, I found nothing to match my intent perfect - I had an original project!

If you would like to know more, contact lisa on: info@enhanceyourlife.co.uk www.enhanceyourlife.co.uk

rapport - Spring 2009

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TRAINING & WORKSHOPS

Dr Susi Strang & Associates Dr Susi Strang & Associates has more than a decade of experience in the arena of personal development.

W

e are a leading provider of NLP Trainings as well as Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy and Huna. Students who make us their first choice of training tend to stay with us to succeed as Trainers of NLP, Hypnotherapists, or Psychotherapists or even all three! SO WHAT MAKES US UNIQUE? Location We are tucked away in the North East of England, on the Cleveland Way, a mile from the surfing coastline and rugged cliffs of Saltburn. The premises are purpose converted. An old stable block has transformed the lives of many as the ‘Changing Room’ or training room, which holds a maximum of sixteen delegates. Susi’s lunches nurture the souls and bodies of delegates escaping the Northeast wind, snuggled around the Aga, with home made soup, breads and patés. The breakout rooms are Susi and Craig’s home, an old eighteenth century stone cottage. Many lives have been changed in the ‘magic pantry’ or by hypnotherapy learned on a recliner by the fire. On hot summer days, exercises are completed on benches in the sunshine. Many have re-aligned their future, walking the Neurological Levels in the courtyard. Accommodation locally is inexpensive – we even have an NLP Practitioner living in the village who provides nurturing understanding, and delicious food at minimum cost. ‘Planet Skelton’ is far removed from the busy demands of business and family. Delegates can’t not change. Experience Craig and Susi have a combined NLP training experience of more than thirty years. Trained by leading developers of NLP, including John Grinder, Richard Bandler, Wyatt Woodsmall, Tad James, Robert Dilts, John Overdurf and

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Julie Siverthorne, our style of teaching is often described as ‘a universal school’ of NLP, because we have modelled the best of all of our teachers’ teaching. Our tenth Trainers Training will be informed not only by the feedback from our graduate trainers but also by the years of assisting other Master Trainers on their Trainers Trainings as we earned our own Master Trainer status. The rich background of our previous careers brings added dimension to our trainings. Craig brings a pragmatic, transatlantic presence to our courses. A former civil engineer his precision and logic creates transparent workbooks. CD’s recorded and edited by him, inform the students of our graduate trainers for years to come. With over a decade of experience as a hypnotherapist, Craig enjoys guiding others on the Diploma course in Hypnotherapy. Susi brings her passion, compassion and diagnostic skills of her past medical career to

her teaching. Our INLPTA approved Diploma in Psychotherapy has proved its success in graduates from three past programmes who have achieved NLPtCA accreditation, and UKCP registration. Both Craig’s and Susi’s years as psychotherapists bring a safe and experienced back cloth to support the personal development of our students. Recruitment So why would you choose our trainings? In reality, we choose you. Sue, our business manager, is skilled in discovering which potential students would enjoy the full benefits of our training. If a caller wants skills and not personal development, or wants to make lots of money with NLP, we are not the right company for them. If you want to beat the price down, Sue will patiently explain that such a deal would not be fair on the other delegates, and will turn you


TRAINING & WORKSHOPS

Our style of teaching is often described as ‘a universal school’ of NLP, because we have modelled the best of all of our teachers’ teaching

down. Recruitment is everything. We recruit people who want to transform themselves and go on to enrich the lives of others. Ethics and Standards Susi and Craig believe that certificates are an honour to sign, and work hard to achieve standards of excellence in the trainings offered. Every programme is on a track of continuous improvement. Delegates are carefully recruited and we help assist them to achieve success at every level of training. As a company we abide by Codes of Ethics of ANLP, NLPtCA, INLPTA, UKCP and the HS. Our certification procedures are rigorous and our certificates are worth having, something of which to be proud. We settle for nothing less than transformation of the individual. Our delegates regularly leave saying ‘This course has changed my life’. Group safety is essential and our assistants are carefully selected from those who seek to learn

more by assisting others on their journey. Variety of Trainings We offer a rich diversity of training from business development and coaching, to psychotherapy and hypnotherapy. A shorter ten day (CD assisted) Business Practitioner converts to a full length INLPTA approved programme for those who want to advance their skills on Advanced Practitioner. Our INLPTA recognised Master Practitioner Programme of twenty days offers a rich coaching or therapeutic base. Our Trainers Training is one of only two INLPTA Trainers trainings in the UK. Hypnotic language can be learned for use in business or developed into a full Diploma in Hypnotherapy. In short with our organisation you can go all the way. We are known for our integrity, passion, and

commitment. Practitioners, Trainers and Psychotherapists are out there, walking the walk of our ecological model of NLP, learned from us, as we learned from our teachers. How exciting is that?!! Trainers Training 2009 “I found the course to be extremely enlightening, both in terms of presentation skills but also in particular in relation to “living” NLP. The trainers were outstanding, totally professional whilst also obviously caring about the people that they were training, providing support with a generosity of spirit I have never before come across. I feel confident to begin to train others in NLP because of this course and would recommend this training school and its trainers to anyone who would like to take up the Trainer Training” Michael Pattinson. Dr Susi Strang & Associates 31 High Street Skelton, Saltburn by the Sea North Yorks TS12 2EF Tel: 01287 654175 Fax: 01287 654175 www.drsusistrang.com drsusistrang@aol.com

rapport - Spring 2009

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DIARY

Diary of Events for Spring / Summer 2009 April 09 Zetetic NLP Practitioner Programme 2 Apr 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com Modelling - Consultancy & Trainers’ Training 2 Apr 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com NLP Building Productive Relationships - an introduction to NLP 2 Apr 2009 West Yorkshire Kevin Downsworth 01274 585160 kdownsworth.firstposition@blueyonder. co.uk Accredited NLP Diploma (INLPTA) 2 Apr 2009 St. Michael’s College- Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland +44 (0)800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com Accredited NLP Diploma: Module 1 2 Apr 2009 West Yorkshire Kevin Downsworth 01274 585160 kdownsworth.firstposition@blueyonder. co.uk Accredited NLP Practitioner: Module 1 2 Apr 2009 West Yorkshire Kevin Downsworth 01274 585160 kdownsworth.firstposition@blueyonder. co.uk Free NLP Diploma 2 Apr 2009 Manchester John Cassidy-Rice www.free-nlp.co.uk john@free-nlp.co.uk Essential NLP for Business Success 2 Apr 2009 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com Free NLP Diploma 4 Apr 2009 Bristol John Cassidy-Rice www.free-nlp.co.uk john@free-nlp.co.uk NLP & Successful Economical Marketing for Therapists and Coaches 4 Apr 2009 Reading- Berkshire Balbir Chagger 07944 931 437 berkshirenlpgroup@googlemail.com NLP Practice Group 7 Apr 2009 ULU - Malet Street WC1 PPD Learning 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk ILM Accredited Diploma in Executive Coaching & Leadership Mentoring 15 Apr 2009 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

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Zetetic NLP Master Practitioner Programme 16 Apr 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com Free NLP Diploma 16 Apr 2009 Chichester John Cassidy-Rice www.free-nlp.co.uk john@free-nlp.co.uk NLP Master Practitioner with Jamie Smart- Peter Freeth- Dr Christina Hall and Michael Watson (SNLP Certified) 17 Apr 2009 Leicester City Centre Jamie Smart 0845 650 1045 info@saladltd.co.uk NLP Practitioner course 18 Apr 2009 Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 INT: 0044 (0) 1273 220 897 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk NLP Practice Group for Practitioners and above 18 Apr 2009 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com Free NLP Diploma 20 Apr 2009 London John Cassidy-Rice www.free-nlp.co.uk john@free-nlp.co.uk Voice of Influence workshop 20 Apr 2009 Judy Apps 01306 886114 judy@voiceofinfluence.co.uk NLP Foundation (part 1 of practitioner) 20 Apr 2009 Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com One Day Free Introduction to NLP Seminar 21 Apr 2009 Stockport Kirsty Wykes 01527 585310 kirsty@thelearningpath.co.uk Zetetic Practice Group 22 Apr 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com NLP Basics (part 2 of practitioner) 22 Apr 2009 Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com Communication Excellence 22 Apr 2009 Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk Safe Practice for Coaches and NLPers 23 Apr 2009 Central London Henrietta Laitt 020 8874 8203 Henrietta@resultsforsuccess.com

NLP Master Practitioner 23 Apr 2009 Exeter Jane Stubberfield 01392 841153 jane@jsa-development.co.uk

NLP Diploma 29 Apr 2009 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com

Enhance Your Personal Effectiveness 23 Apr 2009 Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk

NLP Sports Diploma 29 Apr 2009 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com

Accelerated 7-day NLP Practitioner Certification: Module 1 23 Apr 2009 Dubai - UAE Carol Talbot +971 50 6538540 carol@matrixdubai.com

NLP Business Diploma 29 Apr 2009 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com

Richmond NLP Group 23 Apr 2009 Richmond - Surrey Henrietta Laitt 020 8874 8203 Henrietta@resultsforsuccess.com NLP 4-Day Diploma 24 Apr 2009 Chichester - West Sussex Emily Terry 01243 792122 emily.terry@evolutiontraining.co.uk NLP/HNLP Dual Certification Practitioner 24 Apr 2009 Warrington Tiffany Kay 0845 833 8831 tiffany@go-beyond-nlp.co.uk 7 Day Fast Track NLP Practitioner 25 Apr 2009 Sandwich Kent Lindsey Agness 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com NLP Master Practitioner course 25 Apr 2009 Brighton/Hove Terry Elston 0044 (0)1273 220897 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk

Free Introduction to NLP Seminar (1 day) 30 Apr 2009 Centre Court - Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk

May 09 Modelling - Consultancy & Trainers’ Training 2 May 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification 2 May 2009 NOTTINGHAM Colette White 0800 0433 657 or from outside the UK call =44 (0)207 249 5051 info@infiniteexcellence.com NLP Practice Group 5 May 2009 ULU - Malet Street WC1 PPD Learning 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk

GWiz NLP Practitioner 25 Apr 2009 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

Certified Neo-Ericksonian Hypnosis Training (IACT & ABH) with Michael Watson 5 May 2009 Holiday Inn Hotel - Leicester City Centre Jamie Smart 0845 650 1045 info@saladltd.co.uk

FastTrack Business Practitioner of NLP 25 Apr 2009 Birmingham Matt Caulfield 08453 626277 mail@mattcaulfield.co.uk

Discover NLP 6 May 2009 Covent Garden - Central London PPD Learning 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk

NLP Business Practitioner 26 Apr 2009 Mauritius Sue Knight 01628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk

Zetetic NLP Practitioner Programme 7 May 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com

Chichester NLP Practice Group 28 Apr 2009 Chichester - West Sussex Emily Terry 01243 792122 emily.terry@evolutiontraining.co.uk

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway® Workshop 7 May 2009 St. Michael’s College - Llandaff - Cardiff Andy Garland +44 (0)800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com

Introduction to NLP 29 Apr 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com

Free NLP Diploma 7 May 2009 London John Cassidy-Rice www.free-nlp.co.uk john@free-nlp.co.uk

Fast-track NLP Sports Practitioners (for existing Practitioners) 7 May 2009 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com The NLP Master Practitioner Certification 8 May 2009 Chiswick - London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 info@performancepartnership.com NLP Master Practitioner Training 8 May 2009 Birmingham Matt Caulfield 08453 626277 mail@mattcaulfield.co.uk Silver Coaching program 9 May 2009 Brighton Terry Elston 0845 612 4061 INT 0044 8454061 info@the-coach-academy.com NLP Practitioner 9 May 2009 Covent Garden - Central London PPD Learning 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk Modular NLP Business Practitioner 11 May 2009 Henley on Thames UK Sue Knight 01628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk Essential Soft Skills for Managers 12 May 2009 Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk Business Practitioner 12 May 2009 Alvechurch - West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk ILM Accredited Diploma in Executive Coaching & Leadership Mentoring 12 May 2009 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com Zetetic NLP Master Practitioner Programme 13 May 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com Wider Mind 13 May 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com Interview Skills For Success 13 May 2009 St. Michael’s College- Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland +44 (0)800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com NLP Accreditation (part 3 of practitioner) 13 May 2009 Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com


DIARY

NLP Master Practitioner 15 May 2009 UK/Africa Greg Laws 0845 050 8448 info@openmindtraining.co.uk

Weight No More 22 May 2009 Alvechurch - West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk

NLP Master Practitioner France 16 May 2009 Dordogne France Sue Knight 00 441628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk

GWiz NLP Practitioner 23 May 2009 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

Introducing NLP in Aberdeen 16 May 2009 Aberdeen Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk

Mastery and Information Gathering 23 May 2009 Forres - Morayshire Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk

NLP Practitioner Course Edinburgh 17 May 2009 Edinburgh Kirsty McKinnon 0141 248 3913 info@excelr8.co.uk

Chichester NLP Practice Group 26 May 2009 Chichester- West Sussex Emily Terry 01243 792122 emily.terry@evolutiontraining.co.uk

NLP Practitioner (modular) 18 May 2009 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

Introducing NLP 27 May 2009 Henley on Thames UK Sue Knight +441628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk

Advanced Personal Development I 18 May 2009 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com

Free Introduction to NLP Seminar (1 day) 28 May 2009 Centre Court - Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk

FREE Introduction to NLP Seminar 18 May 2009 Alvechurch - West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk NLP Practitioner (modular week days) 18 May 2009 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com NLP Practitioner 18 May 2009 Manchester John Cassidy-Rice www.free-nlp.co.uk john@free-nlp.co.uk

NLP Learning Forum & Practice GroupBradford- West Yorkshire 28 May 2009 Heaton Mount - Bradford Kevin Downsworth 01274 585160 kdownsworth.firstposition@blueyonder. co.uk

June 09 Free NLP Diploma 1 Jun 2009 Bristol John Cassidy-Rice www.free-nlp.co.uk john@free-nlp.co.uk

Essentil NLP for Business Success 19 May 2009 Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk

Modelling- Consultancy & Trainers’ Training 2 Jun 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com

Introduction to NLP 20 May 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com

Presentation Skills Enhancer 2 Jun 2009 Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk

Effective Interpersonal Skills 20 May 2009 Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk

Presenting With Power© 2 Jun 2009 St. Michael’s College- Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland +44 (0)800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com

Introduction to NLP 20 May 2009 St. Michael’s College - Llandaff- Cardiff Andy Garland +44 (0)800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com

NLP Practice Group 2 Jun 2009 ULU - Malet Street WC1 PPD Learning 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk

Accelerated NLP Master Practitioner Certification: Module 1 21 May 2009 Dubai - UAE Carol Talbot +971 50 6538540 carol@matrixdubai.com

Advanced Personal Development II 3 Jun 2009 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com

NLP Master Practitioner - Hypnotic Influence 3 Jun 2009 Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com

Zetetic NLP Master Practitioner Programme 12 Jun 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com

NLP Practitioner 3 Jun 2009 Manchester John Cassidy-Rice www.free-nlp.co.uk john@free-nlp.co.uk

Fundamentals In Hypnotic Language Patterns 15 Jun 2009 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com

Zetetic NLP Practitioner Programme 4 Jun 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com

FastTrack NLP Coach Qualification 20 Jun 2009 Birmingham Matt Caulfield 08453 626277 mail@mattcaulfield.co.uk NLP Practice Group for Practitioners and above 20 Jun 2009 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com

Advanced Influencing Skills 15 Jun 2009 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com

LICENSED NLP PRACTITIONER™ (7- Day Intensive) 20 Jun 2009 York - UK Philip Callaghan 01904 636216 info@resourcefulchange.co.uk

Free NLP Diploma 16 Jun 2009 London John Cassidy-Rice www.free-nlp.co.uk john@free-nlp.co.uk

The NLP Practitioner Certification 20 Jun 2009 Chiswick - London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 info@performancepartnership.com

NLP Diploma (INLPTA certified) 5 Jun 2009 Stirling- Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@karenmeager.co.uk

Communication Excellence 16 Jun 2009 Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk

Relax... It’s Just Hypnosis! 23 Jun 2009 Warrington Tiffany Kay 0845 833 8831 tiffany@go-beyond-nlp.co.uk

Licensed NLP Practitioner Training: Module 1 5 Jun 2009 Cardiff Matt Caulfield 08453 626277 mail@mattcaulfield.co.uk

NLP Practitioner (modular) 17 Jun 2009 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

Zetetic Practice Group 24 Jun 2009 Cornwall Joseph W Pritchard 01326 212959 joseph@zeteticmind.com

Advance Your Sales Capabilities 17 Jun 2009 Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk

FREE Introduction to NLP Seminar 24 Jun 2009 Alvechurch - West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk

NLP Practitioner (modular week days) 17 Jun 2009 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

Free Introduction to NLP Seminar (1 day) 25 Jun 2009 Centre Court - Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk

Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway® Workshop 4 Jun 2009 St. Michael’s College - Llandaff - Cardiff Andy Garland +44 (0)800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com

Aether Introduction 6 Jun 2009 Chiswick - London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 info@performancepartnership.com NLP Master Practitioner with Time Line Therapy™ 6 Jun 2009 Brighton/Hove Terry Elston 0044 (0)1273 220897 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk INLPTA Master Practitioner: Module 1: North-East England 6 Jun 2009 Aston Hotel- near Darlington Alan Johnson 01609 778543 enquire@trainofthought.org.uk Introducing NLP 6 Jun 2009 London John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymour-associates.co.uk ILM Accredited Diploma in Executive Coaching & Leadership Mentoring 9 Jun 2009 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com The Motivator!© 10 Jun 2009 St. Michael’s College - Llandaff - Cardiff Andy Garland +44 (0)800 612 2878 andy@you.uk.com NLP Master Practitioner - Sales 10 Jun 2009 Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com

Enhance Your Personal Effectiveness 18 Jun 2009 Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk Essential NLP for Business Success 18 Jun 2009 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com NLP Masterclass 18 Jun 2009 Himalayas India Sue Knight 01628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk INLPTA Diploma 18 Jun 2009 Alvechurch- West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk NLP Practitioner 18 Jun 2009 London John Cassidy-Rice www.free-nlp.co.uk john@free-nlp.co.uk Licensed NLP Practitioner & Licensed NLP Coach (9 day intensive) 20 Jun 2009 York Philip Callaghan 01904 636216 info@resourcefulchange.co.uk

Richmond NLP Group 25 Jun 2009 Richmond- Surrey Henrietta Laitt 020 8874 8203 Henrietta@resultsforsuccess.com Licensed NLP Coach™ (2- Day Intensive) 27 Jun 2009 York - UK Philip Callaghan 01904 636216 info@resourcefulchange.co.uk ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification 28 Jun 2009 LONDON Colette White 0800 0433 657 or from outside the UK call +44 (0)207249 5051 info@infiniteexcellence.com Chichester NLP Practice Group 30 Jun 2009 Chichester- West Sussex Emily Terry 01243 792122 emily.terry@evolutiontraining.co.uk Essential Soft Skills for Managers 30 Jun 2009 Midlands Daksha Malik 0121 711 7030 Daksha.Malik@uniqueminds.co.uk

To get your workshops and events listed in Rapport, log in as a member to www.anlp.org and enter your events into the online diary. Every issue, online events listed for the next 3 months will be included in Rapport. rapport - Spring 2009

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Advances in the Use of Hypnosis for Medicine, Dentistry and Pain Prevention/ Management Edited by Donald C Brown, MD This comprehensive volume explores the biology of hypnosis and its applications in medicine, dentistry, and pain prevention and management. Drawing from presentations at the 6th Annual Frontiers of Hypnosis Assembly held in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, Dr. Brown has created a Table of Contents that will be of interest to the broad swath of clinicians. These chapters will inform the thinking and practice both of clinicians who already use hypnosis and those who are interested in knowing more about its efficacy and potential. The original material has been copiously updated and expanded for this volume. “Each chapter highlights the too-often overlooked opportunities for medical and dental hypnosis to improve patients’ wellbeing and expedite their healing. Most important, this book is framed in the theories of mind/body medicine. This text will also be a resource to the clinician already using hypnosis. It can serve as an outline for teaching, and a guide to new applications of hypnosis within medicine and dentistry.” Julie H. Linden, Ph.D., Past president, American Society of Clinical Hypnosis, Sec/Treas., International Society of Hypnosis, Private practice, Philadelphia, PA Donald Corey Brown, BSc, MD, CCFP, FCFP, ABFP, is an approved consultant in Medical Hypnosis. Formerly Director of Dalhousie University Residency Program in Family Practice he went on to become Founding Director, Department of Family Medicine, Dalhousie University Medical School. He is currently involved in full-time private practice as a consultant in medical hypnosis.

ISBN 978-184590120-2 £29.50 available now

Foundations of Clinical Hypnosis From Theory to Practice Edwin K Yager, PhD Certainly an invaluable textbook in the burgeoning field of clinical hypnosis. Dr. Yager has put together an impressive table of contents covering much of everything there is to know about how to translate theory into practice across the range of clinical settings. His clear and thoughtful perspective will inform those who are new to the field and expand the understanding of those who have more experience. The level of depth and detail is unparalleled, providing readers with a full education on the topic. “This is a long awaited and excellent account of the multiplicity of hypnosis that will be a valuable resource for both new and experienced therapists. … For over a decade I have been searching for a book like this. Marvellous, exciting for the profession and a credit to the author.”

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Tom Barber, Principle Tutor - Contemporary College of Therapeutic Studies Edwin K. Yager, PhD, is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego, where he is also a staff psychologist for the UCSD medical group. For over 30 years he has offered an elective course in the UCSD School of Medicine in the clinical applications of hypnosis. Dr. Yager also maintains a private practice in San Diego.

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BOOK REVIEWS

rapport book review The Heart of a Leader – Insights on the Art of Influence Ken Blanchard £8.99, Eagle Publishing Compassion and business, do they sit well together? Do compassion and profit see eye to eye? How does the term ‘business heart’ resonate with you? ‘Heart of a Leader’ focuses on developing effective leaders and managers, who achieve both high performance and have a caring ‘business heart’. It was written in response to a request for a book including his favourite sayings. My impression of this book is that it’s great to dip into, extract a quote to reflect on and then make some practical changes to one’s thinking or actions. I would recommend slipping into a briefcase or having it by the

bed! I found it inspiring, honest, practical and oozing with integrity. It involves 77 quotes, from a variety of sources, each one supported by a page of comment from Ken.Quotes relate to bringing out the best in people, feedback strategies and attitudes to success and ‘failure’. It struck me that these quotes relate to the whole person – ones thoughts, behaviours, feelings and spirituality, as well as to ones goal and purpose. I see this as‘body/mind/spirit’ integrity work-out for leaders, managers and anyone who wants to make a difference. Chris Porter/, Book Review Panel

Mindstore Jack Black £12.99, Balloon View “Mindstore” does what it says on the cover: it “motivates you to achieve the life you want” and gives you tools to do so. Jack Black’s techniques are - as he says himself nothing new - they are drawn from centuries of experience and honed over 20 years of teaching to over 150,000 people. The resulting system is easy to follow, and it works. First published in 1994, this revised edition now includes a CD of the guided visualisations that help you build your inner resources for success. As with any book, audio or live training, you need to practice the techniques regularly to get

the results. Jack Black has made this as easy as possible, and as little as 10 minutes twice a day will give you back control of your life. The author mentions NLP, Mind-Maps, kinesiology and many inspirational authors, whose quotes and stories he draws on to support his process. I would like him to have included some credit to Jose Silva’s Method, the influence of which I can see throughout the structure and exercises in Mindstore. All credit still goes to Jack Black for synthesising and evolving a complete, balanced, straightforward and effective system. Susanna Bellini, Book Review Panel

The New Boss – How To Survive The First 100 Days Peter Fischer £19.95, Kogan Page This is a well-structured and easy-to-read volume for new managers written with the aim of helping them to identify possible obstacles they might meet in the early days of their new position and giving them tips to overcome them and achieve success. Part I of the book tackles the seven building blocks Fischer has identified as being essential to creating successful leadership transition. These include managing expectations from superiors, colleagues and employees, leadership style, and initiating effective change. In Part 2 he looks at seven different types of new managers (eg, young fast-track managers, and the internal promotion) in the form of case studies, giving useful advice on the problems likely to be faced in specific

situations and ways to address them. Whilst it is not mentioned explicitly as a way to manage issues that arise, readers with a background in NLP will recognise that in many of the situations Fischer mentions, such as developing key relationships, and establishing motivating goals, it is an ideal tool to apply to ensure success. I have no hesitation in recommending this book, not only to those it is primarily aimed at – new managers themselves – but also to those hiring new managers, and to business coaches, since it provides lots of useful information for all these groups. The book also includes a number of models and self-assessment techniques to help the new manager on the road to success. Julie Pearce, Book Review Panel

rapport - Spring 2009

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AUTHOR INTERVIEW

Judy Rees & Wendy Sullivan Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds By Andy Coote

C

lean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds is a book with a mission. As an ‘essential primer’ in Clean Language, its purpose is to introduce the subject to a very large group of people around the world who could, say the book’s authors Wendy Sullivan and Judy Rees, benefit substantially from the technique. Andy Coote spoke to them for Rapport. I met Wendy and Judy at the NLP Conference in London in November 2008, just a week after the book’s publication. Both

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Spring 2009 - rapport

had already been busy travelling the country promoting the book. It was also being featured on the bookshop at the Conference and was attracting a lot of interest. “Wendy and I have been training clean language for the last couple of years,” Judy tells me. “Wendy has been training it for much longer than that. There is one book on the subject (Metaphors in Mind by James Lawley and Penny Tomkins) and it is quite advanced. What we felt was needed was the prequel, the simple guide to Clean Language.”

“We have set ourselves the target of getting 10% of the world’s population to know about Clean Language.” Judy adds. “We think that Clean Language has amazing power to help people to change, to have great respect for each other and to work in diverse contexts and to get into greater connection with each other and, as individuals, to get greater connection between the conscious and unconscious mind resulting in a happier, more rounded, more successful life.” “A lot of people learn from live training but a lot more people can learn from a book” adds Wendy. Wendy continues “We don’t think it is necessary for the two of us to train the 10%. We are available for anyone who wants to take it on.” I suggest that they are hoping to light some more fires and for people to spread the word as well as to learn how to do it for themselves. Wendy agrees, “Absolutely yes. It has to be the way it is achieved.” Wendy Sullivan and Judy Rees are both well-known within the NLP and therapy communities in the UK and beyond. Their company Clean Change delivers Clean Language and Symbolic Modelling training. Wendy’s background is as coach, registered


AUTHOR INTERVIEW

psychotherapist and a certified trainer of NLP. Judy was a news reporter and media executive. She has been instrumental in moving the application of Clean Language beyond coaching and therapy. “The book is experiential.” Judy continues. “It has lots of activities in it, lots of things to do as well as to read and think about and illustrations to bring the text to life for people. It is an experiential primer, just like an English book in the first years of school, it has exercises in it and they will give you an experience of being both client and facilitator.” The book is aimed at people who are interested in understanding themselves better and in facilitating change in ways that are respectful of others, Wendy tells me. “And anyone who works with people – which is most people.” “The book can get to all kinds of places that live training can’t.” adds Judy. “So I know we’ve got groups of people in India and in China and in various other places around the world who can’t afford to come to the place of training but with the book they can start and have something to practice. I’m sure, with the web and other technology, we’ll be able to get training to them in time. The book gets them off the mark– it is an essential primer.” What was the process of bringing the book to life? “When Judy and I met we were using Penny and James’s book Metaphors In Mind and I put it to them that a beginner’s book was needed.” Wendy says, “It was the sort of thing that I would write and, ridiculously, it took a number of months of working with Judy before it tumbled to me that it might be sensible, given her journalistic background, for the two of us to write it together.” “I wrote a skeleton of a book initially and then that was changed and it became an iterative process of ‘how can we make this better’.” Judy tells me. “We restructured it several times and we added loads and loads more examples. That was one of the big chunks – adding loads of examples of how ordinary people have used Clean Language in

real situations and with what results.” Judy recalls that getting the book published was made easier by a chance encounter. “Initially we were going to self publish it. Then this time last year at the NLP conference, we wanted to photograph the books on the bookstall to get some ideas for the covers. David Bowman, the head of Crown House and Anglo American, was minding the bookstall at the time, so we asked his permission to take the photographs. He asked what the book was about and it turned out that he’s been asking James Lawler to create a beginner’s book for a long time and that James had indicated that he had no interest in doing it.” So the deal was done. Clean Language found a place in the design of the book for publication. As Judy tells it, “the designer didn’t know anything about Clean Language so he designed a standard NLP book cover - people talking to each other kind of thing – and we were a bit underwhelmed by that. So the suggestion was that we do a Clean Language session with him, working on when he was at his most creative. We did a one hour session over the phone and the result was the cover you now see, which I think is stunning.” Clean Language complements NLP suggests Wendy. “It ties in perfectly with the NLP presuppositions about the map not being the territory and people having all the resources they need. It provides people with a way to act on those presuppositions and it harnesses this hardwired thing that we have in terms of thinking being metaphorical in nature. It is a combination of metaphor and Clean questions that makes change possible.” Judy adds, “When you are a coach or facilitator using Clean Language, you don’t want to dive in and be completely with the client – you need to keep a bit of a distance so you can have a bit of an overview of what’s happened, not just pile in and wallow in whatever there is. When it is working really well you get the other person to have a really strong, felt sense of what they want. And they get to find out what that is in a way that they wouldn’t usually know. “A lot of people don’t really know what they want,” Judy continues, “and that certainly was where I was for a lot of my life. I didn’t know what I wanted and if I did I wouldn’t say but using Clean Language has made me much more whole. In terms of using it with individuals, Clean Language is about being more in rapport between conscious

The book is aimed at people who are interested in understanding themselves better and in facilitating change in ways that are respectful of others

and unconscious minds. In terms of using it between individuals, if you can find out about somebody else’s metaphors, the metaphors they are using in their thinking, you will know them more and because of that, you’ll be able to work with them better, understand them better, negotiate with them better and come up with win-win outcomes in whatever situation you are in.” Many people are using Clean Language alongside NLP techniques to supercharge the NLP and take it to the next level. It also fits with many other change technologies. Judy suggests that any coaching or consulting methodology that involves questioning and listening will be enhanced by using Clean Language questions and metaphor. When somebody has read the book and they find that it resonates with them, there are further places to go to find out more. There are articles on the websites at cleanchange. co.uk and at cleanlanguage.co.uk, which will give more background and more information. There is a practice group called cleanforum. com where there are other people who are enthusiastic about Clean Language. “If they want to go deeper into the subject and get a lot more meat on to these basic bones, then come along to our training or anybody else’s Clean Language training.” Judy suggests. “Getting some face to face, real life training is valuable because the book is only the beginning. Some advanced material that was taken out in the interests of simplifying this book is some of the material that we think is some of the most interesting and exciting about this way of working. We do that in the training and not in the book. Clean Language training is still spreading across the world. “We have people wanting to translate our book into 3 languages - French, Dutch and German” Judy tells me, “and our associates train Clean Language in other parts of the world. Wendy, Penny and James will be training in the US this summer.” Will there be more books? Wendy has no doubt about that. “There is going to be another one. There is a lot of extremely valuable information still to impart. So we are definitely thinking more books. In the meantime, Penny and James’ Metaphors in Mind is a good next step.” Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds (ISBN 978-1845901257) by Wendy Sullivan and Judy Rees was published in paperback by Crown House Publishing on 24th Oct 2008 price £16.99 and is available online and through bookshops.

rapport - Spring 2009

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Provocative Therapy “Learn the Best Kept Secrets for Accelerated Client Change” An exclusive three day workshop May 8th-10th, Leeds UK @ Queens Hotel Demonstrations, Explanations and Hands on Experience

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REGIONAL GROUPS

rapport networking contact Practice Group of the month

Jane Stubberfield of the NLP Practice Group - Devon

England - North Harrogate Achievers Club Sonia Marie Saxton Tel: 0845 257 0036 Email: smesaxton@saxtonpartners.co.uk Harrogate Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard Tel: 01326 212 959 Email: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com Lancaster Practice Group Dave Allaway Tel: 01524 847 070 Email: dave@depthfour.com www.life-passion.co.uk Lancs - Nr Clitheroe Dawn Haworth Tel: 01254 824 504 Email: admin@nlpand.co.uk www.nlpand.co.uk Leeds - West Yorkshire Liz Tolchard Tel: 01943 873 895 Mob: 07909 911 769 Email: liztolchard@live.com Manchester Business NLP and Emotional Intelligence Group Andy Smith Tel: 0845 83 855 83 Email: andy@practicaleq.com www.manchesternlp.co.uk Manchester NLP Group Gary Plunkett Tel: 08707 570292 Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk nwnlpgroups@aol.com

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Spring 2009 - rapport

NLP Practice Group – Devon (Exeter & Plymouth)

T

ry to put well in practice what you already know. In doing so, you will, in good time, discover the hidden things you now inquire about” – Remy de Gourmont So, you have completed your Practitioner or Master Practitioner programme, during which you learnt some great theories and techniques of NLP and now you want to explore and learn more, expanding your confidence whilst getting greater personal development. As Remy de Gourmont suggested, it is time to put into practice your knowledge and skills so that you can further discover the many great things that NLP has to offer. I am a certified trainer of NLP and HNLP and, in Exeter, I run a practice group on the 3rd Monday of every month and I am inviting anyone who has completed a Practitioner or Master Practitioner programme. I love meeting people who are keen to revise, share, discuss and practice their NLP and who enjoy getting together in an informal environment to discover those hidden things that

Newcastle Upon Tyne Philip Brown Tel: 0191 456 3930 Mob: 0777 228 1035 North Yorkshire Lisa & Mark Wake Tel: 01642 714702 Email: Awakenconsulting@aol.com www.awakenconsulting.co.uk North West & North Wales (Chester) Gary Plunkett Tel: 08707 570 292 Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk nlp4fun@aol.com Warrington Tiffany Kay Tel: 0845 833 8831 Email: tiffany@go-beyond-nlp.co.uk www.WarringtonNLP.co.uk York Philip Callaghan Tel: 01904 636 216 Email: info@bronze-dragon.com www.bronze-dragon.com/nlp_group.shtml

England - South Bedfordshire Melody and Joe Cheal Tel: 01767 640956 Email: info@gwiztrainig.com www.gwiztraining.com Berkshire NLP Group Balbir Chagger Mob: 07944 931 437 Email: berkshirenlpgroup@googlemail.com www.lifestorytherapeuticcentre.com/NLP.aspx

you may be wondering about. Appreciating that Exeter is outside some people’s travelling wishes, I am intending to launch another practice group in the Plymouth area that will follow the same format as my Exeter one. My way for running these practice groups is that, in general, we spend the first 30 minutes revising one of the many techniques that you have and then you practice with each other. If there is a request for the revision to be extended or for a demonstration of the technique, then I am more than happy to flex to meet your wishes. So what am I looking for from you? In terms of time and appreciation, your investment in this practice is an hour and a half (18:30 to 20:00) and £15. If you are curious and wish to attend or are interested to learn more then do e-mail me on jane@jsa-development.co.uk.

Chiswick The Performance Partnership Mark Richardson Tel: 0208 992 9523 Email: Jonathan@performancepartnership.com www.performancepartnership.com Croydon Michael Carroll Tel: 020 8686 9952 Email: info@realnlp.co.uk www.nlpacademy.co.uk Hants - NLP South Nigel Heath Tel: 01794 390 651 Email: heatherapy@aol.com www.nlp-south.org.uk Hertfordshire - Letchwoth James Rolph Tel: 01462 674411 Email: james@resource-ecologies.co.uk Kent & East Sussex NLP Group Beverley Hamilton Tel: 01892 511231 Email: beverley.hamilton@uwclub.net London - Hampstead Najma Zaman Tel: 020 8926 1297 mob: 07950477318 Email: firstpath@btinternet.com London - Central PPD Learning Judith Lowe Tel: 0870 7744 321 Email: info@ppdlearning.co.uk www.ppdlearning.co.uk/community/ our-practice-group London - Central Adrian Hope-Lewis Tel: 07970 639552 Mob: 07970 639552 www.nlpgroup.freeserve.co.uk

London - Central (Business) Mark Underwood Tel: 020 7249 7472 London (Central) Robert Ford Telephone: 08453 962842 Mobile: 07976 715234 Email: livinglifenlp@orange.net London - Central/North Practitioners and above only Jeremy Lazarus Tel: 020 8349 2929 Email: Jeremy@thelazarus.com www.thelazarus.com London East - Stratford, E15 Sharon Eden Tel: 020 8597 9200 Email: sharon.eden@womenofcourage.co.uk London - Ladbroke Grove Nina Madden 07906 255 529 mail@ninamadden.com www.ninamadden.com London NLP & Hypnosis Practice Group Phillip Holt Tel: 08451 306213 Mob: 07061 003 003 Email: enquiries@nlp-london.com www.nlp-london.com London NW - SeeHearFeel NLP Rob Tel: 020 8958 5345 www.SeeHearFeelNLP.co.uk


REGIONAL GROUPS

London West - Richmond NLP Group Henrietta Laitt Tel: 0208 874 8203 Mob: 07880 614 040 Email: henrietta@richmondnlpgroup.org.uk www.richmondnlpgroup.org.uk

Colchester NLP Group Julian Campbell Tel: 01473 410521 Mob: 07710 781782 Email: nlp@lifechangingtherapies.co.uk www.lifechangingtherapies.co.uk/colnlp.html

North London NLP Tom MacKay Tel: 07815 879 055 Email: tom@mackaysolutions.co.uk www.northlondonnlp.co.uk

Essex - Southend Pauline Oliver Tel: 01702 203465

Oxford Nick King Mob: 0780 253 4150 www.oxfordnlpgroup.org.uk Email: info@oxfordnlpgroup.org.uk Sandwich, Kent. Lindsey Agness or Zoe Young Tel: Lindsey 01304 621735 or 07711 036 192 Zoe 07932 371 164 Email: zoej66@btinternet.com South East London & City Simon Hedley Tel: 07930 275 223 Email: londonpractice@psithinking.co.uk www.psithinking.co.uk/londonnlp practicegroup.htm www.nlpswap.com Sussex - Brighton Association of NLP Practitioners Terry Elston Tel: 0800 074 6425 Email: enquiries@nlpworld.co.uk www.nlpworld.co.uk www.nlp-brighton-assoc.org Sussex - Brighton NLP Group Sue Pullen Tel: 01273 508100 Mob: 07739 836236 Email: suepullen@btconnect.com www.brightonnlpgroup.com Sussex - Chichester Roger and Emily Terry Tel: 01243 792 122 Mob: 07810 876 210 Email: info@evolutiontraining.co.uk www.evolutiontraining.co.uk Sussex - Worthing Email: jim@espconsultancy.co.uk West Sussex - Chichester Andrew T. Austin Email: andrew@23nlpeople.com www.nlpstudygroup.com

England - East Cambridgeshire Phil Jones Tel: 07711 711 123 Email: phil@excitant.co.uk www.cambsnlp.co.uk

Norfolk NLP Practice Group Stephen Ferrey Tel: 01603 211 961 Email: info@motivational-coaching.co.uk www.motivational-coaching.co.uk Ipswich Steve Marsden Tel: 07889 751578 Email: steve_marsden@btopenworld.com Redbridge - Ilford Glenda Yearwood Tel: 0208 708 3876 Email: glenda.yearwood@redbridge.gov.uk www.redbridge.gov.uk

England - West

Devon - South-West (totnes) NLP Support Group Alice Llewellyn & Anna Scott-Heyward Tel: 01803 866706/01803 323885

Walsall/Birmingham Richard Pearce Tel: 07760 175589 Email: richard@kochin.co.uk

Devon - Torquay Chris Williams Tel: 0781 354 9073

West Midlands - Worcestershire Sharon Rooke & David Smallwood Tel:01905 352 882 Email: sharon@SCRassociates.com info@centralnlp.co.uk www.SCRassociates.com

Devon & Cornwall NLP Practice Group Nick Evans Tel: 01752 245 570 Mob: 07832 357 208 Email: nick@nlp-southwest.co.uk www.nlp-southwest.co.uk/WordPress/?p=72# more-72 Dorset John Chisholm or Brian Morton Tel: 01202 42 42 50 Email: john@creative-leadership.co.uk bmhrd@btinternet.com www.nlpdorset.co.uk Swindon, West Country Tony Nutley 01793 554834 Email: info@ukcpd.net www.ukcpd.net

Bath NLP North East Somerset Philippe Roy Tel: 01225 404 050 Email: pr@in-focus.org www.bathnlp.co.uk

West Somerset Caitlin Collins Tel: 01643 841310 Email: info@naturalmindmagic.com

Bath NLP Skills Builder Ben Reeve Tel: 01823 334 080 Email: benjamino_32@hotmail.com www.idevelop.co.uk

Worcestershire and Gloucestershire Practice Group Kim Phillips Tel: 01386 861916 Email: kimmphillips@hotmail.com

Bournemouth John Chisholm and Michelle Fischer Tel: 01202 424250 info@creative-leadership.co.uk

England - Midlands

Bristol David Griffiths Tel: 01179 423 310 Email: david@metamorphosis.me.uk Cornwall Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard Tel: 01326 212 959 Email: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com Cornwall (West) Robert Ford Telephone: 08453 962842 Mobile: 07976 715234 Email: livinglifenlp@orange.net Devon NLP Practice Group Jane Stubberfield Tel: 01392 841153 Mob: 07887 744299 E-mail: jane@jsa-development.co.uk www.jsa-development.co.uk

The Derby NLP Practice Group Karl Walkinshaw Tel: 07971 654 440 Email: karl@k-d-w.co.uk East Midlands NLP Group Rupert Meese Tel: 0115 8226302 Email: rupert.meese@lightmind.co.uk www.lightmind.co.uk/EMNLP Midlands - Birmingham Mandy Ward Tel: 0121 625 7193 Mob: 07740 075669 Email: mandy.ward3@virgin.net Northants - Northampton Ron Sheffield Tel: 01604 812800 Email: ron.sheffield@btinternet.com www.nlpgroups.org Nottingham Timothy Morrell Tel: 07810 484 215 Email: tim@focushigher.co.uk www.focushigher.co.uk

Scotland Edinburgh Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence Tel: 0131 664 7854 Email: msnlp@btconnect.com Edinburgh NLP Practice Group Patrick Wheatley & Sheena Wheatley Tel: 07765244030/0131 664 4344 Email: wheatley.co@btconnect.com sheena@changingperceptions.org.uk www.changingperceptions.org.uk Forres/Elgin NLP Practice Group (North of Scotland) Rosie O’ Hara Tel: 01309 676004 Email: info@nlphighland.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk Glasgow Mina McGuigan Tel: 01236 610 949 Mob: 07916 275 605 Email: mina@nlpacademyscotland.co.uk www.nlpacademyscotland.co.uk Glasgow Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence Tel: 01316 647 854 Mob: 07710 332 841 Email: msnlp@btconnect.com Glasgow - NLP in Education Jeff Goodwin Tel: 0870 060 1549/0141 248 6484 Email: jeff@nlpscotland.com www.nlpscotland.com Inverness - (Highland) Rosie O’Hara Tel: 01309 676004 Email: info@nlphighland.co.uk, www.nlphighland.co.uk

Wales Shropshire & Mid Wales Practice Group Nick Greer Tel: 01743 361133 Email: nlpgroup@nickgreer.com www.nickgreer.com

Practice Groups meet regularly and give you the chance to share experiences with like minded individuals and fellow professionals. They also offer you the opportunity to further your knowledge and add to your Continual Professional Development (CPD) through informed lectures and workshops. For further information on the Practice Groups listed, please log on to our website, www.anlp.org If you would like to add your Practice Group to this list or change existing details, please contact Lala on 0845 053 1162 or email members@anlp.org

rapport - Spring 2009

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ENDNOTE

What is NLP? By Churchill Al Temimi

A

t his advanced age, Tom Padfield loved to live in the country; away from the hustle and bustle of the civilization of his day…He lived in a two bedroom cottage by the side of a small stream, at the edge of a dense forest… near the bottom of a rocky cliff. Tom spent his days walking, exploring, fishing, meditating, reading and practicing his newly learnt NLP skills. Tom practiced NLP skills, where he learned and became skilful in controlling and operating his mind as an NLP Practitioner. As he lived alone, he spent his reading time enjoying the latest NLP books. He had many of them and he kept cross referring from one to another; there are so many useful skills he needed to practice, understand and make the mind connections. One day, his grandson, Samuel, arrived unannounced while Tom was cleaning and dusting the fire place and, at the same time, listening to one expert trainer of NLP delivering a talk. The first thing Samuel noticed was the many scattered books around the room. Tom was very pleased to see his grandson and to see him so well presenting himself and so wanting… Samuel, a school boy wanted to spend some of his winter school holidays with his grandfather. He was at the age of wanting to know more, a teenager who took his teenage years seriously; learning, exploring and playing…He picked up one of the books from a chair where he intended to sit. He noticed the title of the book” NLP, the Science of Subjectivity”.

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“Mmm…” he thought, as he started telling his grandfather all about the family, his journey to come here and the school back in town. After a couple of days of wondering around the forest and climbing the rocky cliff, Samuel noticed that his grandfather wakes up very early in the morning and spends a couple of hours reading before he goes for a walk around the stream and the woods. Being very curious, he wanted to know more about his grandfather; what his life is all about, what he does and why… He noticed all these NLP books scattered all around and NLP talk CDs were in every room of the cottage…He wondered… what this NLP was. He picked up the one book he noticed before and started reading it…It was Double Dutch to him. A few hours later he asked his grandfather “Grandad what are all these books I see every where… this NLP stuff…I read a bit of this one book and got confused…I am not sure…what it is all about…what NLP is…?” Tom looked at his Grandson… with deeper meanings…took a deep breath…and felt good… he took another deep breath before he responded… “Good morning Samuel, it is good that you asked…NLP is something of a discovery that stretches minds and opens them into holistic existence…and before I answer you, however, I need you to help me with one thing; We need water for our breakfast. Please take that bucket and fill it with water from the stream.

Samuel, reluctantly, picked up the dirty, blackened metal bucket and walked towards the stream. He washed the bucket....He scooped water from the stream, filled the bucket and walked towards the cottage. The bucket leaked buckets, and by the time he got to the cottage, the bucket was totally empty. “Where is the water?” Tom said…noticing how much cleaner the bucket was. “I did fill it grandad. It just leaked all the water” Samuel said. ” You need to go back and walk or run a bit faster” Tom said. Samuel went back to the stream. He scooped water, very fast this time and ran fast to the cottage. Again the bucket was empty by the time he reached the cottage. “Well done Samuel. There is a little water left and you need to run even faster next time. We need the water” Tom said…noticing how much cleaner and shinier the bucket was getting. Samuel was challenged…he did the trip again…only this time, much faster. He thought “we need the water and I must get it”…He had a purpose to fulfil…and he aimed to achieve his goal. Samuel scooped fast and he ran very fast…and by the time he reached the cottage, there was some water left in a shiny yellowy bucket. Tom greeted him and said” well done Son …you have done it…we have water for our tea” And as they start to have their tea, Samuel asked” OK Grandad…what is NLP?” Tom looked at Samuel with

satisfaction and said” Well done... did you notice the bucket before you took it to bring water?” “Yes” Samuel replied.” It was dirty. It was rusty…it was disgusting.” “Alright… so how does it look to you now? “It looks clean and shiny, as if it is not the same bucket” Samuel said. “That is right…and as the bucket changed in its appearance…so will you be changed in your understanding your self and your life…NLP does that…when you are in contact with it, a change will take place…like the bucket was in contact with water…the bucket changed…and so will you… Understanding and learning the skills of NLP is like learning how to operate your own mind to your advantage…you learn how to control your mental state…you learn how to achieve your goals and most of all you learn the skills of awareness and how to be flexible in your communications with the world…that would be useful…don’t you think?” After a nod and a long silence …followed by a sigh, Samuel said “… Thank you Grandad…” and he picked up one of the books, went and sat in a corner of the room… and his mind…and his life… started their journey of change.. That is NLP...


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