THE MAGAZINE FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
23 SPRING 2011
Dr Chris Steele From surgery to TV
The
Big Society and NLP Modelling
resilience
Frank Pucelik Thirty years of third man out
AVAILABLE BY SUBSCRIPTION £3.50 WHERE SOLD
Debate
The nature of change
Join us for a day of improvisation, fun and serious learning with the gifted Neil Mullarkey. Neil co-founded the Comedy Store Players, Europe’s top Improv group and for a decade has been bringing his work and the power of improvisation to major UK and international organisations. He will stretch your mind, re-shape your thinking and make you laugh as he present tools and practices of improvisation and creativity. Improv is a discipline which celebrates the idea that more options are open to us through collaboration than through “trying harder” on our own. “Neil took a class of 108 Cambridge MBA’s - hard-nosed, rational and highly sceptical about their individual ability to create - and
Through various activities and practices we will work with the body and mind in the process of learning about our habitual patterns of behaving and thinking and exploring ways to respond to the incoming pressures of life from a place of “centre” rather than from our judgements and fears. Paul is co-founder of The Beyond Partnership and has been exploring this field of work for many years. The workshop will draw upon martial arts, mindfulness practice, conscious embodiment, NLP and more.
Led by the co-developer of Spiral Dynamics, Chris Cowan and his partner Natasha Todorovic this comprehensive qualifying training programme is with the foremost authorities on Gravesian Theory (from which Spiral Dynamics was derived) and the essentials of Spiral Dynamics. Spiral Dynamics has broad applications with previous participants having included business owners, directors and senior managers, coaches, consultants, sales specialists, branding experts and educationalists. “The breadth and depth of the material is impressive…Chris and Natasha’s style of delivery is excellent”. JA, Senior Manager, Financial Services. Spiral Dynamics® is a registered trademark and is used here with permission.
Beyond Beyond Events Events
® Certification in Leadership: Gravesian Theory andArchetypes Spiral Dynamics Courageous Ambition, and Values at Work Chris Cowan & Natasha Richard Olivier - 24 MayTodorovic 2011 We live worldFebruary caught between stories. The story has outlived its usefulness, as we can witness from the SD1: 23in -a 26 & SD2: 28old February - 2 March 2011
levels of unease us, but the narrative of theand newhis story is not Natasha yet clear enough for us embrace Ledgrowing by the co-developer of around Spiral Dynamics, Chris Cowan partner Todorovic thistocomprehensive it with confidence. During this provocative and experiential day we will combine ancient wisdom, modern qualifying training programme is with the foremost authorities on Gravesian Theory (from which Spiral Dynamics and theatricalSpiral technique to have a good look at where we areprevious going – and why. Richard was derived) and the psychological essentials of insight Spiral Dynamics. Dynamics has broad applications with participants having combines great leadership stories from Shakespeare with models from organisational best practice. He is an Associate included business owners, directors and senior managers, coaches, consultants, sales specialists, branding expertsFellow, and Templeton College, Oxford and was guest speaker at the 2003 and 2009 World Economic Forums in Davos. educationalists. “The breadth and depth of the material is impressive…Chris and Natasha’s style of delivery is excellent”. JA, Senior Manager, Financial Services. Spiral Dynamics® is a registered trademark and is used here with permission.
Daring to Trust David Richo - 6/7 August 2011
Certification in Gravesian Theory and Spiral Dynamics® Chris Cowan & Natasha Todorovic SD1: 23 - 26 February & SD2: 28 February - 2 March 2011
Somatic Intelligence Paul King 12/13 March 2011 David Richo, although not that well known in the-UK, is an extraordinary and wise author and teacher about our
Somatic Intelligence Paul King - 12/13 March 2011
humanvarious condition. He leads workshops at thewith Esalen andmind teaches at the University of California. Through activities andpopular practices we will work theInstitute body and in the process of learning about our Dave has had a significant influence on our own thinking and practice and we recommend him highly. Hisof books habitual patterns of behaving and thinking and exploring ways to respond to the incoming pressures life from include; ‘How to be an Adult Relationships’, ‘The Five Things Cannot Change’. of This workshop centre on his a place of “centre” rather thaninfrom our judgements and fears.We Paul is co-founder The Beyondwill Partnership latest book ‘Daring to Trust’. and has been exploring this field of work for many years. The workshop will draw upon martial arts, mindfulness practice, conscious embodiment, NLP and more.
The Art of Creating a Beautiful Mind David Whyte - 16 September 2011
Improv-Ability Neil Mullarkey - 25 March 2011
Improv-Ability Neil Mullarkey - 25butMarch The world exists independent of human thought, it is seen2011 through the lens of the mind. To understand the world
Beyond Events
beneath surface maps we construct, must clarify and engage our perceptions, refusing temptation Join us for athe day of improvisation, fun andwe serious learning with the gifted Neil Mullarkey. Neil the co-founded theto turn away and create false abstracts that appear to offer us an easier existence. David’s work has struck a resonant Comedy Store Players, Europe’s top Improv group and for a decade has been bringing his work and the power chord within organisations personal and professional He development around the world. “Everyone of improvisation to major UKand andthe international organisations. will stretcharenas your mind, re-shape your thinkingI met was raving about him. The delegates were like a ‘who’s who’ of British Industry and Whyte stole the show”, The Times. and make you laugh as he present tools and practices of improvisation and creativity. Improv is a discipline which He is the author of 3 books of prose including ‘Crossing the Unknown Sea: Work as a Pilgrimage of Identity’ plus 5 books of poetry. celebrates the idea that more options are open to us through collaboration than through “trying harder” on our own. “Neil took a class of 108 Cambridge MBA’s - hard-nosed, rational and highly sceptical about their individual ability to create - and Our NLP Programmes: transformed them.” Richard Hytner, Deputy Chairman, Saatchi & Saatchi Worldwide.
NLP Trainer Training - starts 13 September
Thetraining Art of Acceptance David Richodesigned - 3 August 2011 Our 20 day modular running over 6 months has been carefully to enable you to become a skilled authentic trainer, fluent in essential training skills and group dynamics. You will have plenty of opportunity to Daring to Trust David Richo - 6/7 August 2011 present sessions and receive feedback during the modules and will be set tasks and assignments throughout the programme. We invite a number of excellent guest trainers David Richo, although not that well known in the UK, is an extraordinary and wise author and teacher about our onto the training for you to model.
human condition. Dave has been a significant influence on our own thinking and practice and we recommend him highly. One person his last workshop for us said, “I’ve had so many insights since the weekend with Dave Coach Specific Training foron NLP Master Practitioners sure I canBush keep up the learning.” His books to be an Adult in Relationships, The Five Marie FaireI’m&not Christina - with 24/25 November 2011,include; 16/17How February & 10/11 May 2012 Things We Cannot Change and The Power of Coincidence. We are offering a “conversion” programme designed specifically for NLP Master Practitioners who have undertaken at least 40 days of NLP training. This programme will assume all of your prior knowledge and experience and give you what you need as “Coach Specific Our NLP Programmes: Training” to apply for accreditation with AC or ICF.
An Introduction to NLP - 11 January 2011 • Practitioner - starts 9 March 2011 Masterclass Series for NLP Master Practitioners: Master Practitioner - starts 19 January 2011 • Trainer Training - starts 13 September 2011 Everyday Trance - Richard Tyler - 23 June 2011 Creating Your Ownfor Models - Marie Practitioners Faire - 22 September Masterclass Series NLP Master 2011: 2011 A Timefrom To Think Masterclass Perspective - Nancy Kline-- Edna 15 December Working a Transpersonal Murdoch2011 - 3 March 2011 Also - Introduction to NLPTyler , NLP- Practitioner & NLP Master Practitioner Everyday Trance - Richard 23 June 2011 Creating Your Own Models - Marie Faire - 22 September 2011 Other Beyond Events: A Time To Think Masterclass - Nancy Kline - 15 December 2011 Leadership Lessons from Horse Whispering - 20/21 September 2011 Firewalk Evening - 23 September 2011 Coach Training Programme for NLP Master Practitioners Somatic Intelligence & Centred & Resilient Leadership Marie Faire & Christina Bush - starts 24/25 November 2011- dates to be announced Spiral Dynamics - Introduction & Certification with Chris Cowan - dates to be announced Other Events: Our In-House Services: LeadershipLeadership Lessons from HorseChange Whispering - Marie -Faire & Hilary Miles -Supervision 20/21 September 2011 - Culture - Innovation Coaching - Coach Firewalk Evening - Marie Faire & the Beyond Team - 23 September 2011 For more information please contact Leadership Culture Change - Innovation - Coaching - Coach Supervision paul@thebeyondpartnership.co.uk • 01380 859106 • www.thebeyondpartnership.co.uk For more information please contact
Contents INSIDE ISSUE 23
4 Debate The nature of change 8 Basic NLP Perseverance works 9 Professional Development
Positively seething with rage
10 NLP
Frank Pucelik
14 NLP & Relationships Relating through difference
18 Lifestyle
Using NLP for a smooth move
20 Education
Teaching students with special needs
22 International India
24 Celebrity
Dr Chris Steele
26 Coaching Sensory acuity
(and rapport)
Cover Stories
SPRING 2011
24
28 Health Unlocking children's potential
36
32 NLP
Modelling resilience
36 NLP Internal politics 38 Business The Big Society and NLP 40 ANLP
Our new website
42 Trainings & Workshops
Reveal Solutions
44 Diary 47 Book Reviews 48 Author Interview
David Molden and Pat Hutchinson
50 ANLP News 52 Regional Groups 54 Endnote
38
10
18
The duty of care in provocative work
28 Welcome to another packed issue of Rapport. At last, we have had some sunshine and the first signs of Spring are here for all to see – it’s my favourite season and I love seeing the daffodils and tulips making their colourful appearance in March. Spring, for me, signifies a time for change, and Andy has chosen this as the thought provoking debate topic for this issue (p4). Talking about change, it has been ‘all change’ for the ANLP website this Spring. Our very own Claire Sweeney updates us all about those changes on page 40. This time of year is often when our thoughts turn to moving, and having recently moved herself, Eve has applied her NLP to the art of successful moving (p19). Do let us know if there are any other specific applications of NLP you would like to read about in future issues.
Publisher - Karen Moxom
Of course, moving will be dependent on the current economic climate, and Michael Deval shares his own experiences of the ‘Big Society’, working with the unemployed, on page 38.
Editorial Team: Caitlin Collins, Andy Coote, Eve Menezes Cunningham Judy Rees admin@anlp.org, 020 3051 6740 Art Editor: Enzo Zanelli Advertising: Nicola Andrews advertising@anlp.org, 020 3384 3217 Membership, subscriptions and back issues: members@anlp.org, 020 3051 6740
A chance conversation with Grahame Morgan-Watson resulted in his observations about the congruency of decisions (p36) – how interesting, and co-incidental, that he should relate this to politics! We feature some fascinating characters in this issue – Frank Pucelik, NLP’s ‘third man’, speaks up after thirty years of silence (p10) and Dr Chris Steele, more renowned for his appearances on daytime TV, outlines some of the challenges he has had to face (p24). Prepare to be inspired by Cait’s wonderful education feature, about accessing the full potential of adult learners with special needs (p20). Enjoy part two of Joe Cheal’s relationship feature, relating through difference (p14) – I am pretty certain we can all identify with some aspect of this article! I will leave you to get on and read this issue and I’ll wish you all a Happy Easter – enjoy the raft of bank holidays we have coming up in the next couple of months!
Karen
Publisher: Karen Moxom vision@anlp.org 020 3051 6740 Company Reg No. 05390486 Phoenix Publishing Ltd Room 11, Apsley Mills Cottage, Stationers Place, Hemel Hempstead, Herts, HP3 9RH Rapport published by Phoenix Publishing on behalf of ANLP. www.anlp.org Design: Square Eye Design www.squareeyedesign.co.uk
DISCLAIMER The views within this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, nor does the publisher endorse the products or services promoted in the magazine. Articles are for information only and intent is to inform. Readers should seek professional advice before adopting any suggestions or purchasing any products herein.
DEBATE
The Nature of
Change
For this month’s debate, Andy Coote asked three NLP practitioners to consider the nature of change. How does it work? Is quick change always desirable and is that sustainable? What is the role of therapist or coach in the process?
E
lizabeth Pritchard started us off by challenging the assumption that people who come on NLP courses (or into one to one sessions) always want to change. “Change itself is not necessarily a good thing. People may or may not want to change. What they do get is the opportunity to reflect on their own inner experience and a structure for beginning to understand that. Too often people represent change as merely a physical change. Often the change (if there is one) happens in the person’s internal world.” Martin Crump also starts with current state or as he terms it ‘the big picture’. “We are just having a chat, trying superficial things first.
4 | Spring 2011 - rapport
I might work on meta model, well formed outcomes or just challenge some of the language I’m hearing. A small challenge can sometimes have the desired effect. If that doesn’t work, then I’m looking for worthwhile lines of enquiry to pursue.” There may be a definite purpose for the client from the outset but sometimes it is just an uneasy feeling that things could be better. “Everything seems to be alright, the person has a job and has recently met a new partner,” Pritchard offers by way of example, “but ‘I still don’t seem to be happy’. The journey they make (within a course or intervention) might be anything from learning ways they can cope and find resources or it may end
with a major change. That major change may come from something minor that has wider consequences”. NLP practitioners often steer clear of reliving past experience but the past does sometimes have a role in creating change and in making it permanent, suggests Martin Crump. “Sometimes the client needs to understand the origin of an issue in order to work on it and balance it. Timeline does that in a non-specific way by going back and changing the memory of the experience.” The role of the therapist or coach - the ‘change worker’ – in all of this is often overestimated, Andrew Austin tells me. “It is like no-one ever changed, got well or had
DEBATE
Change may not happen in a single session or even in a year or two. Change is a life long process an insight without a therapist present. They overestimate their own importance and underestimate the client.” Pritchard doesn’t use the term client. “We call the person who is working on an issue or outcome the explorer and the listener is the guide. The guide is there to provide the structure and to make it a safe experience for the explorer. Their role is not to provide clever insights. If they do that, they can puncture the rapport and flip the explorer out of their inner world.” Crump agrees that it is all about the client/explorer. “I’m keen to understand the motivation behind their behaviours. Whilst the primary gain may be easy to see, there is often a secondary gain from the behaviour. One client bit her nails but wanted to have nice nails for the wedding of a friend. We anchored the taste of a food she disliked to her nails and she had the nails she wanted for the wedding. Six months later, she had no nails again and was happy with that. She actually liked nibbling her nails, liked the sound and liked the feeling.” Making change stick is not a role for the therapist/coach. “Why would I want to do that?” asks Austin. “Am I taking responsibility for that person’s life. We need to help them to take responsibility for their own changes.” For Pritchard, change that doesn’t stick is interesting. “If an exercise or intervention doesn’t work, it is almost more interesting than if it plays out perfectly. You find yourself exploring, researching and developing your ideas and skills. There are probably other factors to find. It is about breaking down barriers one at a time until you get to the core.” Sometimes change happens in the context of a course but reverses as soon as the client returns to their home or workplace. Crump suggests that motivation is important but context also plays a part. “You really need to want the change and you need a really solid goal before you start the change process. When setting goals we think about time, which is important, but we often don’t consider context which ties in to our identity. You need to know in which contexts the
change will operate (all or just certain ones) and create a strategy to make changes in that context, recognising what else needs to change, including relationships with others, for that to happen.” Pritchard believes it is perfectly possible to change instantly. “I have experienced it and seen it in others. These are what I might call moments of insight. You don't know when they're going to happen and you can't bring them up to order. If you study your internal structures then at any moment there can be an enlightenment. It is like a tipping point and sometimes that change is immediate and permanent. It becomes self reinforcing. You saw the world in one way and now you see it in another way and can no longer see it as it was.” Making a decision and actually doing something about it, may not take place together. Crump suggests, “Sometimes the decision has been made, maybe months before, and is simply waiting for a trigger, maybe external validation or permission for it to happen, for example -‘To stop smoking, I need hypnotherapy.’” Austin suggests that some people actually want someone else to make the change for them, to wave a magic wand. “They ask, ‘can’t you just hypnotise me and make me change?’ They just want to turn up at the session, sleep and have you do all the work on them and then they wake with all the benefits.” All agree that making someone change is impossible without their cooperation and probably not desirable. As Crump notes, “even as a Sergeant Major, with all the authority and power that comes with the role, I still don’t think you can make people do things. You can get people to realise the consequences of not doing it but you can’t make their muscles work or make them look in a particular direction. You can persuade them to reduce their choices and cooperate because the consequence is
less desirable than the behaviour.” How we measure change is a tricky question, says Austin. “Even though we begin a session with well formed outcomes, it still seems that many practitioners choose to measure success in terms of feelings within the session. Change may not happen in a single session or even in a year or two. Change is a lifelong process.” Whilst NLP offers an extensive toolkit, wider experience and intuition can also play a part. Austin tells me, “Practitioners are often missing real world experience. It is possible to do a 7 day practitioner and a 9 day Master Practitioner and then set up in practice yet have no facility with people. My time as a nurse gave me experience I wouldn’t have had another way. Practitioners don’t need to
rapport - Spring 2011
| 5
DEBATE
have clinical experience but could benefit from experience of taking responsibility and accountability when working with people.” Pritchard adds, “Sometimes I will put myself in the role of explorer and I will find myself being guided by someone who is technically inexperienced but who knows what they have learned by, for example, bringing up children. Being guided by that person can be a fabulous experience. Some people choose to become interested in the inner workings of people and they bring a depth of understanding into a relationship. If someone else, trained to the hilt, is doing it all from the head, not really exploring their own internal experience, then they may not be able to empathise with the explorer.” Sometimes, necessity provides an answer. Crump remembers an interview with Milton Erickson. “When he was really struggling with somebody, he'd send them to walk up Squaw Peak, and when they came back, they would often have the answer. The interviewer asked him how he decided to send them up Squaw Peak, at what point in the process was the right time to send them up there. Erickson replied ‘when I can't think of anything else to say’.” Being on stage or running a course is a performance and very different from one on one work, suggests Crump. “I'm performing when I'm on stage. It is not totally scripted but it is a performance and because it's a performance you’ve got to make big generalisations because certain jokes always get a laugh in one place and a particular demonstration always gets a response. I think some people see that as NLP and try to emulate it.” Or, as Austin puts it, “Richard Bandler does some fantastic stuff in front of audiences but people have a tendency to misunderstand and copy his style in more personal work. His one-liners become axioms and clichés quoted entirely out of context.”
Austin suggests there is a paradox in NLP practitioners thinking that client sessions should be quick. “Their own personal development takes well over 100 hours of training and they are still learning and changing, maybe for a lifetime. Milton Erickson is portrayed as making instant changes – ‘I just told this story’ – yet he worked with his clients through many sessions. So there can be a misperception on behalf of some NLP practitioners as to the reality of what goes on.” For Crump, if change is going to be permanent then it has to take place at the neurological level. “I think that's
The journey they make might be anything from learning ways they can cope and find resources or it may end with a major change
Participants Elizabeth M Pritchard, Zetetic - www.zeteticmind.com Andrew T Austin - www.andrewtaustin.com Martin Crump, Evolution Development - www.evolution-development.com
6 | Spring 2011 - rapport
fundamental. It can be instant. With some forms of phobia quite often they are installed as part of an instant reaction. So if you can change in a negative way instantly then that presupposes that you can similarly change in a positive way. The pendulum can swing in both directions. Other changes will take more time, for example Malcolm Gladwell’s thesis that it takes 10,000 hours of practice or more to make a genius.” Pritchard believes that “Change can be something that works very fast – if a phobia is just annoying and doesn't have a serious purpose then it will go very quickly. If there is more invested in that phobia and it is still serving another intention then it may not want to go away. So that may appear to be a failure by the practitioner but it really is not.” I’m sure that you also have views on change. The purpose of this article is not to come to any conclusion but to trigger a debate. The discussion of this topic will take place on the new ANLP website at www.anlp.org/forum. Why not come and take part?
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BASIC NLP
INTRODUCING NLP Outcomes 10:
Perseverance Works By Caitlin Collins
F
ollowing the track of setting outcomes, this series is exploring some basic NLP principles and techniques along the way. Having looked at various aspects including identifying goals, learning from mistakes, modelling exemplars and enjoying successes, this time we're looking at how to maintain our enthusiasm and hang on in there for the long haul. You might notice from my un-enthusiastic metaphor, 'hang on in there for the long haul,' that I could do with some coaching myself in this area. I like to start things; I haven't been so good at continuing with them; I've tended to lose interest easily. That's better: the past tense puts this problem behind me and promotes the possibility of change! Joking aside, it's true that language matters. The title of this article comes from a Victorian place name that makes me smile: Perseverance Works is the name of a building in London, an old factory. There's another one nearby called Temperance Works. Presumably the idea was to inspire the workers; it wouldn't surprise me to learn of one round the corner called Punctuality Pays. Talking of language, here's a word that rolls off the tongue like a ten-ton truck: metaprogrammes. Mmm. Metaprogrammes matter because they apply to motivation: starting it up and keeping it going. It pays to pay attention to our own (and others') motivational style preferences. There are many ways of identifying these, from self-help questionnaires in inspirational pep-books and magazines through corporate categorising assessments like Myers-Briggs to sophisticated values systems such as Spiral Dynamics. The NLP metaprogammes are contrasting patterns through which we perceive and sort incoming information. Among the most significant ones regarding maintaining motivation are Towards and Away, Options and Procedures, and Low Chunk and High Chunk.
Caitlin Collins: www.naturalmindmagic.com
8 | Spring 2011 - rapport
Towards and Away is essentially carrot and stick. Does your donkey stretch his neck towards what he wants, or scurry away from what he doesn't want? (Or does he kick? In which case you have a spirited rebel donkey who would
Do you like to keep your options open, enjoy novelty, dislike routine, have a low boredom threshold and thrive on uncertainty? probably enjoy the Jewish proverb: 'Out of two courses of action available to you, you should take the third.') A towards motivated person needs to identify carrots: what will achieving this goal bring you? An away from motivated person
likes to avoid problems: what will achieving this goal save you from? Do you like to keep your options open, enjoy novelty, dislike routine, have a low boredom threshold and thrive on uncertainty? Or do you prefer to know where you stand, where'll you'll be in the foreseeable future, and what to do next? An options person needs adventures and surprises if they're to keep going towards their goal; a procedures person likes maps and directions and to know exactly where they're booked in for the night. Do you like detail? Or does it drive you nuts when someone gives you way too much information? A low chunk person is interested in how things work and is good at the day-to-day tasks of keeping the engine running and fuel in the tank so the show stays on the road. A high chunk person needs to keep the big vision in view or they'll lose the will to put one foot in front of the other. Identifying our personal preferences can help us motivate ourselves to keep going; it can also help us spot gaps we've overlooked. Whatever our natural tendencies may be, we need the flexibility to be able to apply all of these metaprogrammes. Even dedicated carrot-eaters can find sticks helpful sometimes; as any writer will tell you, a deadline is a mighty motivator! Options are wonderful – and we also need procedures in place or we'll have a job getting dressed in the mornings. And chunking down to the details is vital if our great dreams are to get off the ground. For many people, an effective strategy for maintaining motivation is simply this: set more goals. We can use our capacity for big vision to establish an overarching purpose and direction, and our capacity for detail to set smaller goals along the way that are aligned with that purpose. As we achieve each goal, the next one will appear a little way down the road; then the secret of success lies in appreciating all the steps of the journey!
PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
Positively Seething With
RAGE
W
hen was the last time you were really angry? I mean seeing red, spitting feathers, seething with rage? Chances are, you didn’t stay angry for long because we consistently hear that we must ‘manage our state’. We are told to ‘calm down’ or ‘count to ten’. I have even been known to say, “I don’t do anger.” There is plenty of logic in not boiling over in front of clients or over-reacting in ways that could damage your reputation. Being positive and calm in a crisis are excellent skills, and we can help clients a lot more effectively when we are in control of our own emotional state. There can also be a great deal of value in fully experiencing intense emotions like anger and then channelling them into something resourceful that can help you and your business. Deb Battersby, a world-class coach, author and very wise woman, says, “Every emotion you experience is there to serve you.” When you deny yourself certain emotions, you also lose the opportunity to learn a lesson and use the energy to create something positive. People and events can wind us up because they hit our hot buttons. That’s natural. Feeling anger is natural. If our core values are violated, the initial response can be one of anger. It can energise you. A sense of injustice can give us an instant shot of adrenaline. Imagine tapping into that and moving your business forward. It’s possible. Anger can also come from envy or jealousy. You see someone from your industry being quoted in the media, or you hear that they have won a big contract and a little (or not so little) voice inside your head cries, “Why him/ her and not me?” Someone else has written a book, and you know yours could be so much better. How annoying! And finally, there is frustration which occurs when you feel helpless. It is worth exploring the source of the frustration. I have often felt frustrated and helpless because things happen that seem out of my control. The
By Mindy Gibbins-Klein that are strongest will give you the most power. I have written some of my best books and articles, and have made huge strides in my business, following incidents that produced a strong emotion in me.
Use all emotions to your advantage Twitter and online social media revolution was not one that I would have chosen, with my natural preference being face-to-face communications. However, after spending a while dabbling, fighting the tide and generally falling behind, I realised that if I did not ‘get with the program’, I really would be hurting my business. Online is still not my favourite place to play, but it has become part of my strategy. If you learn to use all emotions to your advantage, you can achieve great things for yourself and your business. I have discovered a way to do this and I am delighted to share it with you now. 4 Steps to Channelling Negative Emotions into Business Success: 1. Acknowledge - What is actually going on? Did you see a competitor’s website and think “I could do so much better!” Did a speaking opportunity or project go to someone else when it should have been yours? The intensity of the feeling is key to creating something powerful from it. Those emotions
2. Explore - With Power Questions (Towards and Away From). You can explore by taking some quiet time and reflecting, and it can be useful to explore with a coach, mentor, peers or even good friends. I like brainstorming and mind-mapping at the same time because they use different modalities. You can see things clearly when you write them down that you may not have been able to articulate in your mind or even talk about. Writing is obviously a core activity for me and my clients, so I must caution you to keep any mapping or writing strictly to ‘idea capture’. Think twice before publishing. Do not, under any circumstance, write a blog or email while you are in an angry state. You will regret it. There will be time to decide and take action; in fact those are the next two steps in the process! 3. Make Decisions - People who do not do this process consciously may still do some of it unconsciously. We take decisions at some level when we decide to react or not react. Decision making with the situation and the feelings in perspective is much more empowering. Decide at a conscious level what you would like to see happen. Decide what you are going to do about it. Simply saying “I will be on that stage next year” or “My book will get the attention” is a powerful intention. 4. Take Action - While the emotion is still fresh in your mind. Take the first step by making a call, writing an email, committing to starting that book, or an article or blog and/or putting a date in the diary. So, the next time you feel yourself getting angry, embrace the feeling and turn it into something positive for your business, one step at a time.
Mindy Gibbins-Klein is the UK’s leading writing and publishing strategist, best known as founder of The Book Midwife and co-founder/director of Ecademy Press business publishing. Her mission is to create thousands of real thought leaders who will change business and society with their ideas. An international speaker, trainer and consultant with 20 years in marketing, training and coaching, and over 300 clients who have written and published excellent books and articles quickly using the Book Midwife methodology, Mindy writes and speaks to thousands of executives, business leaders and entrepreneurs each year about how to become a thought leader and turning expertise into enhanced credibility and more business. mindy@bookmidwife.com
rapport - Spring 2011
| 9
NLP
Thirty Years of Third Man Out - Frank Pucelik and NLP Frank Pucelik was one of just three people involved in creating Meta, the forerunner of NLP
Frank Pucelik was more than an observer at the birth of NLP, he was centrally involved. After more than thirty years of silence, Frank came as a keynote speaker to the NLP Conference in London in November, 2010 where he explained to Andy Coote his unique part in the genesis of NLP and his almost total airbrushing from the official histories.
F
rank Pucelik was one of just three people involved in creating Meta, the forerunner of NLP. The others, of course, were Richard Bandler and John Grinder. When he left that group in 1976, Frank’s career took a different route and he now lives and works in the Ukraine. He had lived with inaccurate retellings of the early days over a period of over 30 years. Watching an interview with an unnamed NLP player about the original days of NLP changed that. “I was furious - so hurt and angered by his words that I decided ‘enough, I'm sick of it’. For 30 years I kept my promise, I kept my mouth shut and I didn't jump on people claiming to be originators that are not. You know that not a single person who claims to be an originator is? Not one. Except John, Richard - and me.”
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Having flunked out of junior college in 1965, Frank was called up and joined the Navy rather than be drafted into the Army. The Navy put Frank through medical training and he became a Navy corpsman (basically a fieldmedic). After a year working in a Japanese hospital he was retrained as a Marine Rifleman and transferred to Vietnam. “It was terrifying, especially to somebody like me who was so ill-prepared for life much less for war. As a Corpsman, I had two responsibilities. I was there to care for the wounded, to make sure the Marines with me stayed alive and act as a sort of priest and psychologist. I also had to fight – and kill -the enemy. This was their territory. We seldom got to shoot at the guys who were killing us. Most of the time it was a booby-trap, a bomb or a single shot from a sniper and you had no
NLP
idea where it came from.” Returning home after “13 months in hell” was traumatic for Frank. “You're a leader and a role model to the young Marines just arriving in the jungle. You have to walk away from them in a war – how the hell can you do that? I guess I was more afraid of the jungle than I was of my own self hate. Trying to understand how to use that experience or live with it became my pursuit for the next few years. Richard Bandler and John Grinder were both incredibly instrumental in my figuring out what to do with all that.” Frank returned to California from Vietnam, in the late sixties, an angry and potentially dangerous person to be around. “I really did not expect to be back. I figured I was a loser and losers die in the war. I had no plans, no goals and no expectations and I was psychologically destroyed. I wore a bayonet and jungle utilities to college for 2½ to 3 years and I didn't get very many arguments. I was a mess to be honest.” Frank applied himself at college and was able to secure a place at the exclusive University of California, Santa Cruz (UCSC) through a scheme for veterans. “I found myself surrounded by kids around four or five years younger than me who were brilliant. I figured I'd better become a much better communicator in a hurry.” After about a year at UCSC, Frank met a ‘crazy character’ named Richard Bandler who was very good at teaching Gestalt. “Richard had had his own war -the streets of Oakland - we were similar, fitted together pretty good, so we got together and taught Gestalt groups to students.” After about six months “this long haired guy with and an imposing figure began sitting in the back of our classes. We didn't know who he was other than he was a professor. After everybody else had left, he would ask questions about our language and intentions. Richard and I had no idea. We were copiers and we copied without having any clue about structure. If you watch enough Fritz Perls tapes, you can act like him and even have the accent. One of the things we discovered with John Grinder's help was that we really didn't have any of Fritz Perls’ limiting beliefs because we really didn't have any beliefs.” After three or four ‘casual’ conversations with John, they decided that it was worth working together ‘on purpose’. “We started the Tuesday/Thursday groups. We would do a group on Tuesday and John would do the same routines with a different group on Thursday. Richard or I would correct John’s behaviour until he could get the same results that we did. John would then say ‘in order for me to do that, I had to think about this’ or ‘I had to use this language structure’ and we were absolutely thrilled because we were understanding things at a level that we had never understood before.” By 1972, the process grew and the first Meta group was formed. “Over a period of months, we recruited suitable people until we had a team of about 6 or 7 additional people. These were the people who formalised the Meta Model, representational systems, anchoring - the foundation tools of NLP. Most of them were graduate students and they made incredible personal contributions. We would share new patterns with the Meta kids, telling them that we knew it would work. We did it with them and then asked them how it could be done better.
Frank was called up and joined the Navy rather than be drafted into the Army They would explain what they experienced. They tried the patterns on others and fed back on what they had done, allowing further refinements.” “Over two or three incredibly exciting years we were trying things and experimenting. We watched films and read about the therapies that people like Fritz Perls, Virginia Satir, Carl Rogers or Eric Berne designed and realised they were designed for them. The patterns that (say) Fritz understood in himself went into Gestalt. If a person had a problem that matched a specific pattern in Gestalt, then it was a miraculous therapy. If the pattern was not supported, then they were resistant clients and Fritz kicked them out. So, if you know how to pattern a person's problem, you can then go to find the therapy that handles that pattern successfully. If there is no therapy that fits that pattern then you have to build it on the spot. In NLP, we now understand this but in 1972 it was a revelation.” I was interested in how Gregory Bateson had influenced Meta. “We were incredibly lucky that Gregory lived close to where we did a lot of research. He was an incredible person. He would come over to watch and listen to what we were doing with different small groups and he would make comments that were just golden. He was never our formal supervisor but he was the supervisor of our hearts. He did a lot of personal collaboration with John and Richard.”
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NLP
The relationship between the three began to change subtly. “To begin with, Richard and I were close. When John joined us he was third man out. Over a year, he and Richard began to spend more time together and over the period of another year, I became third man out. If you read Whispering in the Wind, John actually writes there, ‘Frank Pucelik was the third man in NLP’. Most people don't understand quite what he means by that. It was still the three of us; I just had a different role. I became the organiser, the middleman, the guinea pig, the confidante. For a while, I was the third person observer who they could use to check their own thoughts and patterns. I was able to give them feedback and tell them what I thought would work and what would not work.” In 1973, the second group of Meta people came on board. “Over the period of a year, we ended up with about 10 or 12 people. This was the period that Stephen Gilligan and Robert Dilts got involved. Later in that period, Judy Delozier, my first wife and the mother of my son, got involved. Leslie Cameron-Bandler was my second wife. I brought her into NLP. We became working partners, friends, colleagues and researchers together. I have always considered her one of the best trainers I have ever seen. She taught me what love was and was probably one of the best parts of my life.” The stability of the Meta group did not last. “In 1976, Richard invited Leslie to go to visit Milton Erickson, along with John, Judy and my son Eric. When they came back, Leslie had decided to become a life partner with Richard, which surprised me. Within a few days I met with Richard, we had a conversation and he invited me to leave. It meant leaving my life mate, my research team, my career, my friends, my source of income and my university. The invitation was fairly direct and I felt I couldn't refuse, so I left.” Frank moved to Oklahoma and began building a new life and career. He undertook a considerable amount of additional research work and gained new qualifications. “I was running treatment centres for young drug addicts and alcoholics in Oklahoma and was very good at that. I also enjoyed working with businesses that had much more money and were more pragmatic than NLP folks. I was able to get results and move on.” In 1987 a friend from San Francisco called him and asked him to meet three Russians who would benefit from his experience. “So the next day I went to the Oklahoma City airport and picked up two Russian psychologists and a translator. They became friends. They invited me to Moscow in 1987 for a Psychology Conference where there were around 1000 Russian psychologists. They were the most highly educated, highly prepared people I'd ever met and they could not DO a thing. They had no pragmatic skills or training. So I thought it was a perfect fit because I didn't know anything but I could do everything.”
Frank moved to Moscow permanently in 1990. “Russia, and Moscow in particular, was very dangerous in those first transition years. People were manoeuvring for position and their ways of dealing with competition were fairly straightforward. I was in heaven, however. I had found a time machine and stepped back into the prohibition era20s and 30s America - a time that I'd always wanted to be a part of. It was like being in the pictures that I had seen of those times. Moscow, Kiev and most of the larger cities have changed and blossomed since then. I've travelled the entire (now former) Soviet Union, from east coast to west coast and from north to south in these 20+ years.” Frank doesn’t speak Russian in the training room. “I have translators there. The Russian language is easy to speak badly and educated people recognise a person who can't speak well immediately and stop listening to them. My translators are incredibly good, so I get a lot of respect immediately. From time to time I'll throw in a Russian phrase or two just to let the guys know that I'm not completely stupid. I'm a little embarrassed that I should be more fluent than I am but I've never needed to speak Russian fluently.” Frank is once again working with people with addiction problems. “We have five treatment centres in Moscow and Odessa. They are incredibly effective and I'm very proud of them. Over there, we can use processes that are very strong and can do more in a seven hour, very potent process than we could do in six months in the States. The programs help the kids to be better. I have photographs of a couple of hundred young, successful, happy graduates of my Russian programmes. I’m very proud of that.” Frank is still uncertain to what extent his future includes more public appearances in the UK. He already has a very busy life in the Ukraine running Pucelik Consulting Group. He is working with Mike Carroll’s NLP Academy and running some trainings in London. “Mike already works regularly with John. I’ve talked with John and he is pleased Mike and I are working together. John and I have had a really wonderful relationship over 30 years. I will do some seminars here and see how people respond and maybe I'll see if I can adjust some of the perceptions of people from the early days.” Frank has recently been announced as a keynote speaker at the NLP Conference 2011. Finally, I ask if there is any relationship with Richard Bandler. The answer surprises me, though perhaps it shouldn’t given Frank’s easy manner. “I have a very mixed feeling. I owe Richard a great deal. He was instrumental in many ways in helping me to become human. He's one of the best one-on-one counsellors I have ever seen. He somewhere finds within himself the ability to have incredible patience, passion and insight. One-on-one, I've never seen anyone better. I sense that if I met him, we could have any sort of relationship that he would be interested in having. I hope that it's positive but if it's not, that's perfectly okay with me too.”
I had no plans, no goals and no expectations and I was psychologically destroyed
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12 | Spring 2011 - rapport
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GWIZ EVENTS IN BEDFORDSHIRE 2011-12
NLP Trainer’s Training
With Master Trainers: Julie Silverthorn Melody & Joe Cheal
Please note our Practitioner, Master Practitioner, Trainer’s Training and ILM 7 Coaching & Mentoring courses are currently being credit rated towards a university Master’s degree programme.
NLP & RELATIONSHIPS
Relating Through
Difference
By Joe & Melody Cheal
Countering the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Relationships. Successful couples seek the positive in one other and in each other’s positions, perspectives and personality
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse A couple sit and discuss an issue which has been causing friction between them. As to the content of the issue, you might add your own example here. Perhaps he isn’t doing his fair share around the house. Perhaps she is spending a lot of time with her friends. In this instance, the couple are in the honeymoon phase of their relationship and what they probably don’t realise is that how they go about exploring this issue will likely determine the status of their relationship in five years time. In an extraordinary series of studies John Gottman, a social psychologist, has been
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able to consistently predict the long term condition of a couple’s relationship. By observing just five minutes of how the couple interact when discussing an issue, Gottman and his team have a 91% success rate at predicting whether the couple will still be together in five years time. It appears that one of the most critical factors in a successful relationship is how a couple handles difference (e.g. of opinion, perspective and/or personality). In his book, Why Marriages Succeed or Fail, Gottman (*1) highlights a series of behaviours that appear when a relationship is less likely to succeed in the long term. He calls these
the ‘Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse’: stonewalling, defensiveness, criticism and contempt. Stonewalling is about avoidance; certain topics become off limits so we don’t talk about them. Defensiveness is linked to apprehension; not taking responsibility and by implication wanting to blame someone else. Criticism is about antagonism; attacking the other party overtly. Defensiveness and criticism are usually two sides of the same coin, where one side wants to attack and the other side parries. Contempt is about aversion and is considered to be the worst and most poisonous horseman. Here we
NLP & RELATIONSHIPS
Gottman and his team have a 91% success rate at predicting whether the couple will still be together in five years time are in the realms of insults, name-calling, sarcasm, hostility and cynicism; and according to Gottman the body language of contempt includes sneering and eye rolling. As an aside, if all this sounds like classic teenagerto-parent behaviour, is it possible that they are going through a phase of psychologically ‘divorcing’ from their parents in a quest for independence? If the four horsemen are in place, there appears to be a degree of ‘learned helplessness’ that may set in which creates a new level of stonewalling and avoidance. Here, either one of the couple (usually the male apparently) will tend to avoid issues by shutting down completely or leaving the scene. It is as if they are caught in a doublebind of ‘damned if I say anything, damned if I don’t’. And so the couple move from difference to indifference. In simple terms, in the face of difference, the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride in when the couple can only see the negative of each other’s perspectives/personality. And so they spiral down in conflict, indifference and then perhaps divorce.
Successful Couples and the Counter Horsemen Do successful couples argue? Of course they do, but Gottman also found that successful couples tend to have a ratio of at least five good experiences to one bad. Good experiences might include positive interactions like hugs, cuddles, a genuine “I love you”, kind words, compliments, gifts, doing things together and talking about joint interests. Something that Gottman alludes to but does not pull together into a model (like the ‘Four Horsemen’) is the positive spin. What is the model for successful couples? How do they handle difference? According to Steve Andreas (*2), “Fritz Perls
used to say that: ‘Contact is the appreciation of differences’ – in contrast to seeing differences as bad.” In our own workshops, we have introduced the four counter-horsemen of awareness, acceptance, appreciation and admiration. As well as providing a direct counter for each of Gottman’s horsemen, these act like levels that couples transcend as they face and resolve their differences. The first level, awareness is about acknowledging that there is an issue and being prepared to discuss it rather than avoiding it. The second level, acceptance is about staying open to our partner’s perspective and knowing that it is more productive to listen than it is to get defensive. The next level, appreciation is about valuing the fact that our partner can be and do different things to us and instead of criticising them, we understand that this is useful to the relationship. We may even praise the fact that they do certain things better than we do ourselves. The final level, admiration, is where we see our difference as a part of relationship excellence. We seek to find integration between opposing positions and to create synergy rather than contempt. In “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”, Gottman (*3) suggests that: “fondness and admiration are antidotes for contempt. If you maintain a sense of respect for your spouse, you are less likely to act Gottman’s Horseman Contempt (Aversion) Criticism (Antagonism)
Behaviours • Eye rolling • Sarcasm • Insults
On one level, it is as simple this... when we see the negative/disadvantages of each other’s position, we will likely fall into conflict. When we see the positive intentions/ advantages, we transcend from (i.e. ‘end the trance/illusion of’) difference into innovation and connection. The Counter Horsemen
Behaviours
Admiration
• Show interest & respect • Encourage & extol virtues • “Difference is excellence”
• Criticising • Feedback & praise • Attacking Appreciation • Show support • Generalising (eg. always, never) • “Difference is useful”
• Making excuses Defensiveness • Defending oneself (Apprehension) • Countering (yes, but) Stonewalling (Avoidance)
disgusted with him or her when you disagree. So fondness and admiration prevent the couple from being trounced by the four horsemen.” Successful couples seek the positive in one other and in each other’s positions, perspectives and personality. When faced with difference they seek synthesis and synergy and by doing so spiral upwards through innovation, connectedness and unity. According to Michael Hall (*4), synergy is part of the self-actualisation process which “operates as an integrative process of opposites and polarities.” As we self-actualise, distinctions and differences disappear. The relationship becomes greater than the sum of its parts and together, we can achieve things we could never have achieved independently.
• Topics become ‘off limits’ • Changing subject • Withdrawing and ignoring
• Stay open Acceptance • Listen • “Difference is okay/good” Awareness
• Engage in dialogue • Acknowledge difference • “There is difference”
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NLP & RELATIONSHIPS Applications In terms of practical applications, when you are faced with difference, you might explore the following steps: 1) Seek to hold a positive internal representation of your partner (e.g. that they are resourceful, loving and loveable). 2) Get clear about what they really want. Listen to your partner’s position and seek the positive intentions (benefits): What would they get by achieving their goal? 3) Reflect the positive aspects back to them (in part to demonstrate understanding). 4) Be clear about what you really want. Put forward your position and the positive intentions (benefits) of your own position: What would you get by achieving your goal? 5) Then (rather than trying to make one side better than the other) seek a solution that accounts for the positive aspects of both positions. The four horsemen of the apocalypse and the counter horsemen are also relevant within a work environment. Dysfunctional relationships and teams follow the same
model through avoidance, apprehension, antagonism and aversion. However, high performing teams seem to work the other way. Team members seek to discuss issues,
Admiration is where we see our differences as part of relationship excellence
welcoming difference and diversity as roads to innovation and progress. As they spiral upwards through the levels, they accept, appreciate and then admire differences in the team. When you hear someone from a high performance team talking about a fellow team member it is usually respectful and complimentary. And so we might consider a ‘high performance’ relationship one in which couples will talk about their partner in very positive ways, openly discussing what they appreciate and admire (particularly when their partner is not there). How many couples do you know who do this? As long as this is done with an awareness of the audience (i.e. not overly sycophantic!) it provides a refreshing change from those that moan about their supposed loved ones. Listen to yourself when you talk to and about your partner. Notice your body language when you are with them. As long as it is ecological to do so (i.e. doesn’t harm you or others in any way), seek to find the positives in who they are, what they do and what they want. What do you appreciate in your partner? What do you admire about them? And, of course, remember to tell them from time to time!
References
About the Authors
*1) Gottman, J.M. (2007) “Why Marriages Succeed or Fail” Bloomsbury *2) Andreas, S. (1991) “Virginia Satir: The Patterns of Her Magic” Real People Press (p.53)
Joe and Melody Cheal have been working with NLP since 1993 and married since 1994. As well as being Master Trainers of NLP, they are also partners in the GWiz Learning Partnership www.gwiztraining.com transforming people and businesses through the fields of personal, professional, leadership and organisational development.
*3) Gottman, J.M. (1999) “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” Three Rivers Press (p.65)
Joe holds an MSc in Organisational Development and Neuro-linguistic Technologies and a degree in Philosophy and Psychology. He is also the editor of Acuity.
*4) Hall, L.M. (2007) “Unleashed!” NSP (p.203)
Melody holds an MSc in Applied Positive Psychology and a degree in Psychology.
16 | Spring 2011 - rapport
Do You Need to...
Find a new market for your skills? Increase your revenue? Enhance your abilities to help people change and grow?
LIFESTYLE
Using NLP for a.. By Eve Menezes Cunningham
W
e all know that even the most longed for move can be stressful. But there are lots of things you can do to make things go as smoothly as possible. Use visualisation to help manifest the home / office you want Before you even begin looking online, through the papers and at estate agents, get clear about what you want. Jot down everything that you want in your new home or office. Create a complete wish list. If others are moving with you, get them involved. What would make it an ideal move for everyone involved? Once you’ve got everything on paper, decide what’s an Absolute Must and what’s Desirable. This will save you lots of time when it comes to actually viewing properties. It will also help you all focus on the positives of your move at those times when you may be feeling less than positive about the whole thing. Create well formed outcomes (and keep them in mind no matter how frustrating things get) “I've moved at least ten times,” says Olivia. “Once, the outgoing people, who decided to save money by hiring a van, still had their stuff inside. In all the rooms, naturally. Our stuff was on the pavement (our removal bods were not happy) and it started to rain. When my partner moved, the removal van did not show up. I had to collar my son and a builder I know and hire a van in the space of an hour. I've moved to places where there were mouldy vegetables in the larder, all the lightbulbs had been taken and in our last house, the ladder to the loft. It was purpose built, so no good to anyone.” Allow extra time and money for everything so when unexpected hiccups and emergencies occur, you’re not completely thrown. Prepare for the unexpected not by imagining all the possible ways things could go wrong but by anticipating that not everything will go according to plan. And remember, it’s not personal.
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Move on a school day so you have children out of the house - Camilla
Be flexible and pay attention to the feedback you're getting from the world Sam’s worst move was one she attempted to oversee from Los Angeles where she was working. Having paid “through the nose for an expensive company to come in and wrap everything down to the last teabag in my London abode” she did her best to relax and concentrate on her work. “On the moving day itself I received a call from my buyers telling me all of my furniture was in the middle of the road and that she had witnessed neighbours having a rummage through my underwear drawer. Lesson learnt: always be in situ to direct the move.” Her best move was “One I organised myself, from the UK to France. After several moves, I'd finally learnt: discard what you'll never use again before the move.” Having sold and donated books, furniture and other things, Sam “slimmed down my belongings to the things I genuinely needed. It was very difficult. I was surprised how attached and emotional I was towards inanimate objects. But whenever I'm in a conundrum about life, I always think about my motto of that moving period. ‘Simplify.’" Get organised “Having moved 10 times in the last decade, I advise keeping a list of everywhere that needs your address,” says Anne. “Bank, utilities, council, TV license, DVD rental, any online retail sites you use like Amazon (so you don't accidentally post stuff to your old address) and everyone you have to tell when you move. This way, you won’t have to spend ages remembering them all every time (as you will forget some). Use iammoving.com to generate letters, it's really useful.” “If you've got kids,” adds Camilla, “Move on a school day so you have children out of the house.” What other things can you streamline just by being that bit more organised? Future pace to help make good decisions “We had a spectacular disaster last time we moved,” says Alan. “The day after we'd exchanged contracts
LIFESTYLE
Discard what you'll never use again before the move moved house four times in the last six years. And the last move combined his and his partner’s into one so effectively, he moved two house on the same day. If you’re the type who likes to get settled, keep reminding yourself that once you’re settled in, this can be your home or office for as long as you want. In the meantime, think about the people you know who thrive on change. Are there some strategies of theirs that you could adopt? Just for the months of your move?
(and agreed to sell our kitchen equipment to our purchasers) our basement - which included the kitchen - was flooded to a depth of five feet. “Suddenly the door from the lightwell burst open and the whole two rooms flooded. I and my neighbour were up to our necks in fastmoving water. It was scary (even more so in retrospect: our son was just 2 and could easily have been in a highchair in the kitchen, and if the neighbour hadn't warned us we wouldn't have known). “We lost the cooker, fridge, washing machine, tumble drier and lots of other stuff, much of which we'd already sold to our purchasers. The house was uninhabitable, with no kitchen, electricity or central heating - all damaged by the flood. We had a 2 year old and Joan was two months pregnant. We stayed with a neighbour that night and with Joan's parents for the next couple of weeks while the debris was removed and the house dried out.” All this sounds unimaginably unlucky – especially for London. But for as much peace of mind as possible, look into all your insurance possibilities and make sure you’re covered for all eventualities. Think about what you can do to support yourself While some people would find moving every 10 years too frequent, others seemingly effortlessly move twice a year. Stu Campbell, MD of Fire PR (www.fire-pr.com) has become an expert mover. As well as moving offices twice last year he has also
Here are Stu’s top tips: Get good quality packing materials - makes it so much easier and saves breakages If moving yourself invest in a small trolley ONLY use a reputable ‘man and van’ company or a removal firm Courier companies will often do removals (as long as everything is packed and you book a large enough van to take the load) Label everything and put lists on the outside of boxes Be realistic about timeframe – don’t try to rush it. Allow “down time” or “time off” Cleaning is easier if the property is empty – often best to have a professional deep clean Set up key utilities before you move in – such as internet, phone etc. “Have a clear out before you move,” adds Olivia. “That will save moving junk from loft to loft. If you can afford it, get a packing service. Don't bother stressing over little things that are missing/aren't right when you move in. If you have little ones, give them a list of jobs to do so they feel involved. Much better than them getting under your feet. Get someone to look after your animals for the day if you can. Dogs and cats find moving as stressful as we do. Take cash out for movers’ tips.” Get yourself into a resourceful state “Nothing makes it easier to get unpacking than by starting with a fortifying cup of tea,” says Lynley. “Put essentials in a box clearly marked ESSENTIALS. These are kettle, cups, tea, coffee, biscuits.” What other things help you feel relaxed? Can you fit in a mini meditation or a little exercise that your body will thank you for (lugging furniture and boxes may be essential but a little yoga or gentle stretching will help you centre yourself and avoid injury)? And most of all, be gentle with yourself. Everyone finds moving stressful to some degree. Just remember, it will all be worth it.
Visit www.applecoaching.com for more tips as well as information about Eve’s telephone coaching services (plus face to face coaching in Essex and London).
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EDUCATION
One group - individual players and we're all in the zone!
Venetia Moore teaches students with special needs. By Caitlin Collins
N
LP began with the curiosity of founders Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Curious about what makes the magic difference between competence and excellence, they modelled luminaries in the therapeutic world by observing them in action and enquiring about their underlying beliefs and attitudes. The modelling process remains the foundation of NLP, as not only can we model exemplars of excellence, we can also model our clients to find out what's going on so we can help them to make appropriate changes. Meeting adult special needs teacher Venetia Moore recently gave me the opportunity to dust off my skills for modelling not another client with problems but an exemplary teacher in the classroom. Fitness, Fun and Focus It's a rainy Thursday morning for my visit to our local adult education centre. I find an unobtrusive seat at the back of the room as the students are arriving, mostly in ones and twos, mostly cheerful and chatting, with varying degrees of observable abilities and difficulties. Just to get people quiet and sitting down is the first challenge. With all due respect, the analogy of shepherding mice at a crossroads comes irrepressibly to mind! There are eight students in this class, with one teaching assistant. The theme is 'Fun and Fitness', and the students have all chosen to take the class; many of them have been
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attending weekly for several terms. Most of them live in residential care homes and travel to class by taxi. There's only one man – who hurries over to introduce himself, assuring me enthusiastically, 'I like Netia', before setting off for his seat at an eager trot.
Just to get people quiet and sitting down is the first challenge Venetia sits squarely in her chair, feet on the ground, to take the register. She includes me in the roll call and people turn around and wave a welcome. Having been a little anxious earlier, I'm starting to enjoy myself: everyone's so friendly. First up following roll call is students' sharing. A talking stick helps to keep order: you can talk when you're holding it, not if you're not. Like all good rules, it permits exceptions, like when what you want to say just can't wait. It's somebody's birthday, so everyone sings happy birthday; and the teaching assistant has just got married, so congratulations are offered all round. Venetia presides benignly over a gentle chaos, reining in the exuberance of some, encouraging the participation of others, and politely insisting on courtesy at all times; despite having apparently just the usual number eyes
and ears, she demonstrates a superhuman ability to see and hear in all directions simultaneously. Moving to a flipchart on which the morning's activities are outlined, Venetia calls for a volunteer to come up and write the date: this is a group activity, as the others help with suggestions for spelling the month. Exercises follow with everyone seated: one woman gets up, unprompted, to fetch yoga blocks for those whose feet don't quite reach the floor; and people check with each other to make sure everyone's warm and comfortable. I'm interested to see them helping each other practise eye exercises similar to those used in Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR), which have been found not only to alleviate distressing symptoms following trauma but also to enhance performance. The next activities get people up and dancing with whatever degree of coordination and balance they can manage, before a break during which they help each other with drinks and snacks, and someone clears up a coffee spill; then the mood calms down as they prepare for shibashi practice. An experienced Tai Chi teacher, Venetia leads the class through the slow shibashi movements, uniting the group in a shared inner stillness and presence. Some of that calmness and focus remains at going home time, as people say goodbye to each other
EDUCATION and head out to the waiting taxis. An Orchestra with Many Players Later I learn that Venetia began special needs teaching following a couple of years of running adult education classes in Tai Chi. 'I fell into this job,' she explains. 'They wanted someone to teach a special needs exercise class with an emphasis on health and well-being, and I had a Cert Ed teaching qualification, coupled with the Tai Chi and 20 years of working in the complementary health field.' The Cert Ed course was helpful in flagging up key concepts for Venetia. 'It helped me become more aware of things I was already doing and where I needed to make some changes. We were encouraged to do lots of assessment of the learners' progress and evaluation of our own teaching, and to reflect on and learn from our experience. Some of the most important key concepts fit in well with my own values, such as inclusiveness – finding ways to accommodate people's differences in the classroom; differentiation – this is about learning styles, and includes things like visual, auditory, and kinaesthetic processing preferences; and equality and diversity – which must be mentioned in all lesson plans and tick box forms for getting funding for classes like this one!' Venetia clearly loves teaching, and has a great rapport with her students. 'I love the openness and lack of conformity,' she agrees. 'They push boundaries, not through "bad behaviour" but just through their unpredictability. I never know what's going to happen, because there's such
freedom. The students can be themselves and be totally accepted in the class. I'm aiming to draw them out with the various activities, to help them express themselves. There are some boundaries, some structure – but there's also lots of flexibility. We're less conventional!' Surely there've been some tricky moments? 'When I started teaching special needs classes I went in at the deep end: the first class I taught was full on! Nobody told me anything about the students, so I had no idea what to expect. One woman screamed. Her carer said she did it a lot, but in my class she only did it twice, which meant she was doing very well! Another woman bit cushions; she was sort of a connoisseur of cushions! That was ok; it was her idiosyncrasy and everyone just accepted it as part of who she was. Less dramatically, there's quite a lot of walking about and coming up and standing very close to me while I'm teaching. One woman in the current class sometimes arrives in tears. I sit down with her for a few minutes and listen to what she has to say, then encourage her to join in, or not, as she likes. The most important thing is to listen, so people feel heard.' I ask Venetia what she feels she brings to her teaching that makes the difference. She pauses for a while before replying. 'Well, I truly believe that we're all equal, not in the sense of being all the same – far from it – but that we all have equal self-worth. I think it's a bit like conducting an orchestra, bringing
Some are fortissimo, others are quiet; one person is bashing a bass drum, another is happy tinging a triangle
in the various players: some are fortissimo, others are quiet; one person is bashing a bass drum, another is happy tinging a triangle. And while I need to have some technical competence and to set some kind of structure, that's secondary: the main thing is how I am, and how I prepare the room. So I meditate in the morning and bless the room before the students arrive.' I'm impressed by the shibashi practice. 'Yes, shibashi is great for managing energy, balancing, slowing, relaxing, improving concentration and mindfulness; it's a kind of meditation in motion. When I offer the class a choice of shibashi or team games, they usually choose the shibashi. The students interpret what I'm demonstrating differently, and that's fine. My aim is for them to enjoy the collective energy created by us all practising together in our individual ways: it creates a lovely feeling in the room. It's like playing music in a group – we're back to the orchestra metaphor again! I have a ball with this class: they're up for anything, and they give me space to be creative and spontaneous. If it works, great; if not, I throw it out. I like the unpredictability: it keeps it interesting, and it helps me both professionally and personally to manage surprises! There was a time when I was slightly afraid of people with learning difficulties because of not knowing what might happen, but this has given me the opportunity to test my core beliefs, especially around equality, and to become more tolerant of differences and more able to be OK with unpredictable people. Which applies to everyone really: it's helped me to get on better with my family and friends as well! The great thing is it's reciprocal. When this group is flying, I get their great energy back in waves: one group, individual players, and we're all in the zone!' NLP in teaching It's fascinating to discover how many NLP techniques and principles Venetia brings to her teaching: despite having had no formal training in NLP, she's a maestro of rapport, anchoring, state management, language patterns and metaprogrammes, as well as embodying most of the presuppositions. Might this be an indication of how NLP has entered the mainstream as part of teacher training? Or might it be an illustration of how these techniques and principles are likely to be found in anyone with an outstanding ability to bring out the best in others – as Bandler and Grinder discovered in their modelling of therapists?
Venetia Moore lives and works in West Somerset: www.true-nature.co.uk
rapport - Spring 2011
| 21
INTERNATIONAL
There are a number of Indians who are already supporting and promoting quality NLP in India
NLP in India! By Charles Saldanha
E
ducation and qualifications have traditionally been highly valued in India and the learning and practice of NLP is beginning to influence Indians of all stations in life who are looking towards personal and professional change. The last few years have seen a spike in NLP Training in India and also seen a few international trainers coming to India to conduct workshops and trainings. It is very encouraging to find that there are a number of Indians who are already supporting and promoting quality NLP in India. WHAT WE DO IN INDIA Providing quality and authentic certification training is the need of the hour in India and ClassNLP was set up to address this, delivering a high standard of NLP Certification Training in India accessible to Indians in their own country. The goal is to have Indian Master Trainers who can teach quality NLP at Trainer level to the highest of international standards at an affordable cost. To this end we have recently completed the first ever INLPTA NLP Trainer Certification in India, at the end of 2010, with our partners Robert & Liz of Treacle NLP Training from the UK. Robert and Liz did a perfect job of producing a high standard of Indian NLP Trainer and are wonderful role models of applying NLP to self, first! The feedback from our Indian participants was that they learned at least 50% more NLP than they did at their various Practitioner & Master Practitioner trainings, highlighting the need for improvement in the standard of NLP Training in India. INLPTA has kindly given permission to run this INLPTA trainers training in India once again this year. THE CULTURE India has a rich and diverse culture and is in the midst of finding its feet as a rapidly developing nation. Treading a fine line between
22 | Spring 2011 - rapport
the responsibility of providing for the poor and developing new infrastructure in order to continue development for the benefit of all. Change is something that defines India, in the present moment, and helping Indians to understand and benefit from change is something that NLP Training can certainly provide. India is such a large country that languages and even culture can change from state to state. English is generally the language for education and business but even Indians who speak English fluently can have a very different understanding of the words. Remembering that words have no meaning except the meaning we assign to them, NLP Trainers teaching here have the responsibility of, not only checking for understanding but additionally, checking for what exactly was understood! WHY INDIA? I am an Indian living in my ancestral home of Goa in India. I want to see NLP Trainers of the highest standard and quality in India. My focus is to provide promotion and support for these Indian NLP Trainers, starting up, and attract the best of International NLP Trainers to India for their continual development, to deepen their knowledge and understanding of NLP. NLP has had a mixed reception in many countries in the world and it would be wonderful to see Indian NLP Trainers set the benchmark that the rest of the world aspires to.
India has a rich and diverse culture and is in the midst of finding its feet as a rapidly developing nation
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CELEBRITY
Dr Chris Steele From the surgery to TV By Eve Menezes Cunningham
D
r Chris Steele still seems surprised to have gone from talking to one person for ten minutes to reaching millions through This Morning and other TV slots. He was recently awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award by the Guild of Health Writers and remains modest about all the people he’s helped keep healthier. Dr Steele always wanted to be a doctor but never imagined he’d spend so much time on TV. “I was Richard and Judy’s GP when I first started on This Morning but that wasn’t the only reason. I’ve been qualified over 40 years. 30 years ago, I did work to help people stop smoking and became recognised as an international expert on smoking cessation. “Apparently, they’d tested several doctors and eventually asked the producers, ‘Have you tried our GP?’ Their producers were like, ‘Who the hell...?’ but I had television experience. Once I was on national TV, patients never questioned what I did. That was a change I noticed. My patients would be boasting, ‘That’s my GP’.” At the Guild of Health Writers Awards, Dr Chris mentioned the long struggle before he was allowed to show women how to check themselves for possible breast cancer. The pink ribbon climate we know today didn’t exist and there was a lot of resistance. But once he was allowed to do a segment, the phone lines were flooded with grateful callers. Still, he says, it took a really long time before he was allowed to show men how to check themselves for potential signs of testicular cancer. “You’ve just got to dig your heels in,” he says. “Because I was working in smoking cessation, I ran two very big smoking clinics here in the teaching hospital in Manchester. I was teaching them long before nicotine gum came out. I started prescribing it even though we were told it couldn’t be prescribed on the NHS. They cut the cost of these prescriptions off my salary. I ended up in a tribunal against Norman Fowler, then Secretary of State. I won, he appealed and I won the
appeal. That was a difficult time. Dogged determination got me through. I disagreed completely. I’m a Geordie. We can be quite obstinate. That was a major challenge which dragged on for years. “My next big one was This Morning. I’ve been on 21 years now since first day but at first, I was terrified doing live television phone ins. If a fashion expert makes a mistake, it doesn’t matter. But giving medical advice, you can’t make a mistake. You don’t know what they’re going to ask or have their medical notes.” Apart from the births of his four children, Dr Steele says getting his MBE a few years ago has been his biggest highlight. “Visiting the Queen. That was awesome, that was. Don’t ask what she said to me - I can’t remember. Apparently, that’s quite common. Getting the Lifetime Achievement Award from the Guild of Health Writers was another highlight. Getting Health Writer of the Year a few years ago. Qualifying as a doctor, getting married, doing This Morning and beating the government.” Of his four children, one is a musician and another is an athlete. “My wife’s a nurse. We said to them, ‘What do you like doing? If that gives you enjoyment and you can put a roof over your head and food on your table, you’re very lucky.’ And both my sons are doing that.” Dr Steele was recently diagnosed with Coeliac Disease. “Coeliac disease means you’re reacting to gluten,” he says. “You can’t tolerate it. Therefore you have to go onto a strict gluten free diet for life. Gluten is hidden in wheat and wheat products. Bread, pizza, pasta, pastries, cakes, biscuits but also unexpectedly in fish fingers, sausages and things like that. I’m 65 so for 64 years I was eating normally and then you’ve got to change those eating habits. You’ve got to. If you don’t you get the stomach aches. I was very aware of what coeliac can do. “At first, the specialist thought it was IBS so I got treatment for IBS and didn’t get any better. I don’t have IBS. The specialist did blood tests
That was a difficult time. Dogged determination got me through
24 | Spring 2011 - rapport
CELEBRITY
and a biopsy so my message is, if you’re diagnosed with IBS and given treatment and not improving after a couple of months, go back to the doctor and ask about possible diagnosis of coeliac disease. It’s a very simple blood test for coeliac – tTG blood test. “The odd thing is that I’ve been the Ambassador for Coeliac UK for four years. I’m going to resign from sexually transmitted diseases!” he joked. He is also a patron for charities raising awareness about bowel cancer and meningitis as he likes to use his high profile to raise awareness and, hopefully, save lives. “Before you go to the doctor, write down the questions you want to ask. If you’re getting results, take someone with you. They might be saying you’ve got a tumour and you need someone there who can Find out more about Dr Chris at www.thefamilygp.com
The more you learn the more you realise you don’t know
take in what’s being said. Ask your doctor to write down results.” When I asked what he wished he’d known when he was first starting out as a doctor, he said, “I wish I’d known a lot more medicine. OK, you’ve done the medical course, five or six years, and think you know it all: Going from being a student to a respected member of society. But you know nothing at all. The more you learn the more you realise you don’t know.”
Learn more about Coeliac UK at www.coeliac.org.uk
Read Coeliac Disease: What you need to know (Sheldon, £7.99, out in May) by Alex Gazzola (with a Foreword by Dr Steele).
rapport - Spring 2011
| 25
COACHING
Sensory Acuity (and Rapport)
Another in the pile of “easier said than done” By Karen Meager and John McLachlan
S
o there you are, you burst into the world, a perfect human being in every way.
You look around in those first few moments and you say to yourself– “I know, I will simply observe what is going on without making it mean anything before I decide exactly how I would like to respond to maximise my rapport with others and ensure the maximum mutual beneficial communication can be transacted between me and other people” As if! We make meaning of everything we see, hear, feel, taste and smell. We are creatures who make meaning and search for meaning in everything that is around us. And why not, it makes us curious about the world, drives us to explore and discover new things and all of that makes us the human beings we are. Then we go along to a course, read a book or talk to someone who mentions “Sensory Acuity”, the ability to take information in through your senses without making it mean anything, mind reading or guessing what is going on for the other person. The ability to notice changes in someone else without making meaning. So therein lies one of the many dilemmas for us as coaches, trainers, human beings. How can we become expert in using sensory acuity when it is against one of our core desires, to make meaning? At the risk of being drummed out of the NLP club, can I make a confession? There are times, many times, when I make meaning of what someone else does, says or looks like and using sensory acuity doesn’t cross my mind. Flog them I hear you say. You may well be right but not for this, please! Using sensory acuity is not easy and it takes practice. We all know the importance of sensory acuity in doing change work with others, here though we will explore the impact of sensory
26 | Spring 2011 - rapport
We make meaning of everything we see, hear, feel, taste and smell acuity on our ability to achieve and maintain rapport. Sensory acuity is the ability to become aware of another person’s unconscious responses. By observing these closely you will notice information during communication that you were previously unaware of and which can inform and improve the results you get. In sensory acuity we are observing a person’s unconscious responses in their breathing, facial expressions, body movements and voice qualities. We are interested in what is happening for the other person as we are talking to them. By doing so we can begin to gather information using our sensory acuity which helps us to adjust how we are interacting to gain and maintain rapport. In observing the sensory information we are getting, we can be more flexible in our communication, adjusting our behaviour or what we say to support the relationship which is more likely to lead to a positive outcome. Consider the difference in the impact for someone if, when you notice them shaking
their head, you say “I noticed you shaking your head when I said that”, rather than “Why don’t you agree?” Because we are all naturally disposed to make meaning it can often be difficult to get awareness that what you are saying or responding to is not a sensory based observation and is in fact a judgment. As human beings we are naturally disposed to ‘fill in the gaps’ from our own experience and this happens in an instant. In a recent course we were running there was a discussion around certain expressions where many delegates argued that they were not a mind read as it was “obvious” what the expressions meant. Particularly strongly held was the idea that a smile was a sensory based observation of something we can all understand. In developing our sensory acuity we need to practice. In choosing when you practice consider how much the interaction matters to you and how much you want to be in rapport. The key, as with much in NLP, is know what your outcome is in any given situation and then decide how much you want to be sensory aware. There are many times when we simply
COACHING
Sensory acuity is the ability to become aware of another person’s unconscious responses want to go about our day to day lives getting things done without wondering what the impact is on others, for example if we are on the underground, buying petrol or going shopping. There are other times when getting rapport is important to us and where we want our message to be well received, for example when meeting a client, in a one to one coaching situation or, dare I say it, having a difficult conversation with our partner. One way to practice is to choose to pay attention in situations where you are not involved. Sitting in a café, at an airport, watching a news item or discussion on the television are all good ways to practice. Become aware of what you would normally make it mean, then unpick how you arrived at that judgment, what specifically did they do? This will help you put the ‘pause button’ on between observing and reacting when you need to. Another way to practice is to choose a specific meeting, event or discussion you are going to be involved in and make a conscious decision to notice what you notice. What things do you notice more easily, is it breathing, posture, eye movements? Do you find yourself making meaning rather than observing and what impact does that have to the quality of the rapport? You could ask a friend or colleague you are working with for feedback on the rapport between you both. Taking time at the end of a meeting to review what happened, where it went well and where it went less well can also help you in identifying where you were in rapport and where you were not.
Often I find one of the easiest ways for me to be reminded about the importance and power of using sensory acuity and being in rapport is when it doesn’t go to plan. Excited about what is happening, carried away by the content of a topic or meeting I can sometimes assume that I have more rapport than I have as I have not been paying attention, not been sensory aware. The direct feedback from the other person is a great, if uncomfortable, reminder to me of the importance sensory acuity. When appropriate you can improve the results of your communication by remembering the importance of maintaining rapport. Using your sensory acuity to notice what is going on for others is a key aspect
of this. When you have important news to deliver, if you are looking for someone to make or support a decision in a particular way and especially if you are about to say something challenging or difficult for people to receive – if you want the most productive outcome use your sensory acuity and ensure you are in rapport. We burst into the world full of curiosity and wonder, keen to make sense and meaning of this world we find ourselves in. Sensory acuity doesn’t sit well with this desire within us, so the next time you find yourself in an unhelpful situation because of an assumption you made about something someone has done, go easy on yourself, it’s natural.
Karen Meager and John McLachlan / Monkey Puzzle Training & Consultancy / www.monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk
rapport - Spring 2011
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HEALTH
Unlocking Children’s Potential by Putting Them - and Their Parents -
in Touch With All Their Resources By Eve Menezes Cunningham
B
rainwave is a children’s charity which helps children with developmental delay and other conditions including Autism, Cerebral Palsy, Epilepsy and Downs Syndrome. “Brainwave is a unique organisation working at the leading edge of home based Therapy,” says Richard Clarke, their Corporate Fundraising Manager. “It is an innovative, positive charity committed to giving each child the greatest hope for an enhanced life.” Richard’s Master of Science degree in Neuroscience means he’s especially excited about the progress in the field regarding neuroplasticity. These scientific breakthroughs led to the therapies which make this support for children and their families possible. “The term plastic means 'changeable',” says Richard. “So, in the context of the brain, neuroplasticity means the ability of the brain to establish new nerve connections. The result of these new nerve connections is that areas of the brain cortex can develop new functions. “The principal of neuroplasticity has been medically accepted since the 1970s. At the time, scientists noticed that the brain could recover some normal functions following a trauma, such as car accidents or surgery. Doctors noticed that the ability of the brain to recover normal functions was improved through the use of Therapies (repetitive normal movements, cognitive exercises and more). Since the 1980s, Therapy has been used to help children with disabilities or developmental delay to achieve greater independence. “The degree to which specialist Therapy provided by Brainwave can assist a particular child depends upon the nature of the child's condition. What is unique about Brainwave is its dovetailed approach that brings together expertise in Paediatric Physiotherapy, Cognitive Therapy, Developmental Therapy and, in some cases, Speech and Language Therapy to develop a bespoke programme of structured play and exercise to be
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walking will be something the child develops themselves when you give them the little parts to work towards that - Liz
implemented at home. “Through Therapy one little girl, Cassie, learned to hold up her head, focus her eyes on particular items, prop up her torso, hold a cup and respond to verbal commands,” says Richard. “She also learned for the first time to smile, which was a wonderful moment, and is now strengthening her legs and hips. Every case is different. Sometimes the results are profound like learning to stand, walk and speak. 85% of families surveyed say that Brainwave ‘makes a significant difference.’" I visited the South East centre and was really moved to hear Physiotherapists, Occupational Therapists, parents and other people talk about the difference the centre is making in families’ lives. Because it’s home based therapy, parents learn the exercises and can then integrate them into their normal childcare routine. This in itself is pretty radical because the children are more likely to feel relaxed and make more progress in a familiar setting like their home. At Brainwave, the Therapists use visual, kinaesthetic and auditory senses to engage the children. They seem excellent at building rapport. Managing parents’ expectations can be a challenge. “A lot of the parents want their child to walk and that’s their goal,” says Liz Heath, a Physiotherapist. “Parents sometimes don’t realise that there are lots of skills the child needs to develop first and that walking will be something the child develops themselves when you give them the little parts to work towards that. They see you working on the floor and they’re like, ‘They’re not on their feet. You’re not making them walk. They’re not practicing walking.’ Everyone always has that million dollar question, Is my child going to walk or is my child going to do this? You can’t say.” Liz loves sharing information and showing the parents how to do the exercises at home. “Families who come for the initial [two day] assessment at
HEALTH
One Mum’s Story Focusing on what the children (and parents) can do to build on that rather than overwhelming them with all they can’t do sounds so logical but for some, it was a new experience. One mum said that her daughter had been written off at birth by all the consultants, but that, as a mother, she never gave up hope. “We were thrust into a world we’d never bargained on,” she says, remembering the shock of her second child, being born 6 weeks prematurely. “No one gives you a guide book to raise a child like her. The fear and anxiety were crippling.” Doctors and specialists reeled off a list of things that were wrong with their daughter, trying to not get their hopes up. “Everybody wrote her off when she was born. But, as a mother, you never give up hope. But all the things we took for granted with our first child just don’t happen.” They grew tired of each specialist reeling off a list of things their daughter couldn’t do. Even though her defences were up by the time they got to Brainwave, the mum appreciated its cosy feel. They were able to relax in a living room. She and her family had been following doctors’ orders and saw all the specialists they could. But the NHS could only offer them a 20 minute physiotherapy appointment every six weeks and, being in a large hall, the surroundings upset the little girl so much it would take her the whole appointment just to relax.
She cried when, at the Initial Assessment, she was asked, “’What is she good at?’ Nobody had ever asked me what she was good at before. The physiotherapist worked out what she liked and didn’t like and told me, ‘She’s got fabulous potential. Nobody had ever said she had any potential before.” While the little girl took a while to relax, when her parents took her through the exercises at home, she actually started doing them. “They were all things we’d been told to do by the NHS but they only had time to show us once and give us a diagram. So by the time we’d get home, we’d have forgotten. At Brainwave, we got a DVD to watch so we could learn properly. She started to make progress. Things started to click.” Their family and friends were amazed by the changes in the little girl and when she began to feed herself, her physiotherapist welled up. Her mother remembers thinking, “That’s what I want. Someone who cares. After we’d been on the programme for nine months, we went back to Great Ormond Street Hospital. Her consultant did a double take. He described her as remarkable. I went out and got a t-shirt printed for her saying: ‘I am remarkable’. In just the last few weeks, her 3 year old has begun to laugh and become aware of her body parts: “Before, her legs and arms were just things that hung off her trunk. Brainwave’s a magical place.”
rapport - Spring 2011
| 29
HEALTH
Neuroplasticity means the ability of the brain to establish new nerve connections. The result of these new nerve connections is that areas of the brain cortex can develop new functions - Richard Clarke the Centre are gobsmacked. They say, ‘Why didn’t we know this?’ Now they do, they know they can really make a difference.” “When you see some improvements, it’s really great,” says Lindsay Gilbert, Lead Therapist. She helps parents see what the biggest challenges are for their children, and shows them how they can work to improve things. Overall, the centre’s biggest challenge is finding funding. “Fundraising in the financial climate at the moment is just horrendous,” says Helen Gilfillan, Administrator. “It’s a difficulty because everyone is
vying for the same funds across the country.” She works closely with the families and says, “Every small highlight is a big highlight. Parents come here as almost a last resort. But on the second day of the Initial Assessment, they often have already seen improvements. There are tears of joy. The child may have looked, or smiled or rolled over or focused their eyes or lifted their hand.” “We’re not statutory funded so we have to raise all our own money,” says Regional Family Co-ordinator, Gerry Gould. “Our Exercise Therapy Programme costs £3500 per child per year. We’re so
specialised, as well, we can’t apply for some of the funding and grants” For Gerry, seeing the children’s achievements often moves her to tears. “Like when a child who’s so floppy comes and you see them sitting them up or even lifting their arms. Or if you see a child walking or even running. Even a smile. The tears that are shed are tears of joy. You see how they’ve progressed. As the child progresses, the parents seem to grow in confidence. A couple have started their own support groups.”
The tears that are shed are tears of joy. You see how they’ve progressed. As the child progresses, the parents seem to grow in confidence - Gerry Gould
How to Help “We organise a number of sponsored walks throughout the year in London, Cheshire, Essex, Somerset and elsewhere,” says Richard. “In some cases employees of a particular company decide they'll undertake a challenge together, like a cycling event, which they register on Justgiving.co.uk to encourage friends and family to sponsor them through sympathetic links from Facebook or Twitter.
www.brainwave.org.uk
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“Often companies will only consider sponsoring a charity if it has been nominated by employees, so please mention us to your corporate social responsibility, communications department or community team. A wonderful way to help is through a legacy, naming Brainwave as a beneficiary of your will. Alternatively, consider supporting the care of a particular child living in your community
via Rotary Club or other social organisations.” “If anyone would like to hold a fundraising event for us, we’ve got three centres,” adds Gerry. “In Essex, Somerset and Warrington. If anyone could do any fundraising for us, we can support them.”
Essex - 01376 505290 Somerset - 01278 429089 Warrington - 01925 825547 www.brainwave.org.uk
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MODELLING RESILIENCE I had become really curious about personal buoyancy and the lack of it
32 | Spring 2011 - rapport
A
By L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.
few years after I first learned NLP, I decided to model the state of resilience. The reason I set out to model resilience was originally because I had become really curious about personal buoyancy and the lack of it. “Why do some people immediately bounce back after a set back and others do not?” “What is going on with some people that even the slightest disappointment or set-back or frustration seem to knock them out and even traumatize them?” “And what’s the difference that makes a difference with others who can suffer major defeats like divorce, health crisis, accidents, loss of everything, jail, etc. and they just bounce right back and don’t let the event sour their attitude in the least?” At the time I was in my third year of running an NLP Center in Colorado and I was astonished that some people who started out with great excitement about NLP would start the Practitioner course, but drop out when they faced even a tiny bit of effort. That seemed especially true when it came to the Meta-Model! In spite of explaining repeatedly, “This is not about grammar, these linguistic distinctions are about what language does inside you, how it affects your neurology.” In spite of that, some people seemed to be traumatized if I asked, “Is that a noun or verb?” “Is it specific and unspecific?” At the same time, however, there were others with hardly had a high school education who took to the linguistic distinctions like candy in a convenience store. They ate it up. They thrived as they learned every distinction and every question that creates precision and clarity. I knew that the difference had to be in the different maps that led to the different interpretations about the events— not the events themselves. So what was the difference in their mental maps? So that led, in 1992 to a two year study of resilience. Now at the time there was not much written on resilience, but there were studies on “survival,” learned pessimism, learned optimism, Frankl’s Logotherapy, etc. I began by asking groups everywhere I went, “Who has been to hell and back?” At first I didn’t worry about the time-frame. Then I interviewed a College Professor who had lost everything he owned and suffered an investigation by the IRS for five years as they put him under suspicion of fraud. But in his case, once the traumatic event was over, it took him seven years to recover. Well, I didn’t want to model that! So I began asking about the time-frame. “How long did it take between when you were knocked down by something and by the time you were “back?”
NLP
They thrived as they learned every distinction and every question that creates precision and clarity What I discovered was that in the strategy of resilience, there are stages. Five of them: 1) The set back: An event in life that knocked a person down and stopped progress. 2) The emotional roller-coaster: shock, bargaining, denial, depression, acceptance - the grief stages. 3) The coping with the changed reality: Coping to put one’s life back together and make sense of the setback. 4) Taking control of one’s mind, emotions, and life and developing a new master of one’s situation. 5) Being and feeling renewed inside and “back” in the game of life. The difference in this modelling is that, unlike the strategy for decision, or getting out of bed, or spelling, resilience is not a micro-behavior. And it doesn’t occur within a few minutes. It is a macro-behavior that occurs over many days, weeks, and even months. It is a strategy with many substrategies for a great many facets of life. So it requires not just one state, but many states and the states sequenced so that a person moves through the required processes. So watching eye accessing cues will not reveal the structure of this set of macro-behaviors over time. Resilience also differs in that it does not merely involve a horizontal strategy of see this (V) and say these words (Ad) in this tonality (A) until you feel (K) this. It involves a vertical strategy of moving up the levels of the mind and accessing various beliefs, decisions, understandings, identities, permissions, intentions, etc. that put bounce back into you giving you the resources for coping with your loss, your emotions, your direction, your purpose, etc. Ultimately the state of resilience is a complex state made up of a great many resources. It is a state layered and
textured with multiple meta-levels or states that enables you to accept the set-back, appreciate what is still good about life, problemsolve challenges before you, rebuild your life, come to terms with whatever has been lost, and set a new course as you learn from the experience and use it to propel you forward. Steve Reeves had that kind of resilience. Thrown off a horse and becoming paraplegic, Reeves experienced a tremendous shock from what his life was like before and after. And yet, because of whatever mix of beliefs, permissions, courage, boldness, determination, etc. even though he was on a respirator for the first 5 years, he set a goal to breathe on his own again, and through his persistence at the therapy, he did. In the meantime he also
rapport - Spring 2011
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NLP
The positive intent of the critical voice was literally to protect him and keep him safe raised funds for a foundation, played in 5 movies, made appearances in several TV series, had a son with his wife, and lived a very active life that continued to make a difference. Then in 1994 I interviewed a man during a workshop at the Denver NLP Conference. The workshop, which was a presentation of what I had learned about resilience, was titled, “Going for it — Again.” So I asked who had been to “hell and back” and the journey took six months or less. Several volunteered and the man I selected began to tell me his strategy. As I interviewed him, and he identified the stages of his resilient recovery. At a certain point I asked, “How did you know that you could go from this stage to the next one?” “Well, it was like at a higher level, a higher state, I knew that I would get through this, so I...” Now one of us said (and I don’t remember if it was him or me), but one of us said, “At a higher or a meta-state.” At that moment in a flash I realized that strategies not only go out horizontally step by step, but that they occur within
Author L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. developed the Meta-States Model in 1994 which was recognized by the IANLPT as the most significant contribution to the field of NLP in 1995. Since then Dr. Hall has written 40 books on NLP and Neuro-Semantics. www.neurosemantics.com
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over-arching belief frames that make the primary level strategy work. In fact, knowing what to do at the primary level without the meta-state structures of beliefs, permissions, decisions, understandings, identities, etc. would probably leave the experience fairly impotent and unable to instill the spirit of resilience. In modelling resilience, I discovered that everyone has layers of meta-frames within which the primary strategies for the different stages worked. In fact, the efficiency, richness, and power of the sequence of strategies depended on the higher frames they were embedded within. Nor was there just one set of these meta-states that frames the resilience activities, there are many, each one unique to a certain extent to the person. This also speaks of the layered richness of this complex state called resilience. There’s many ways to build it and in replicating it for others, each person really needs to identify the belief frames, understanding frames, metaphor frames, meaning frames, etc. that brings out the best in them in terms of putting bounce into their soul. What I learned from this was the importance of our meta-state frames— whether we think of them as belief frames, value frames, identity frames, understanding frames, etc. It is our higher mental frames that give us the perspective that empowers us to go through a set-back experience and persistently come back until we have put our world back together again. And the courage, commitment, persistence, patience, etc. that makes possible is that larger perspective of a new vision about the future.
References Hall, L. Michael. (2007). Meta-States: Managing the higher levels of your mind’s reflexivity. Clifton, CO: Neuro-Semantic Publications. Hall, L. Michael. (2007). Resilience - Training Manual. Clifton, CO: Neuro-Semantic Publications. Hall, L. Michael. (2007). Unleashed: A Guide to Your Ultimate Self-Actualization. Clifton, CO: Neuro-Semantic Publications.
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NLP
Internal Politics The congruency of decisions By Grahame Morgan-Watson
O
ver the next few weeks, we will be asked to make a decision that could change our politics for years to come. The rights and wrongs of our voting system will be vigorously argued by all sides in order to win favour. Our vote is one of many, and there will be winners and losers. The losers will condemn whilst the winners reassure, and the not-bothered can curse both houses. As with the last election, unexpected ramifications will generate a degree of buyer’s remorse. Broken pledges from the hustings, will leave some politicians and pundits embarrassed and cynical. Some outcomes seem more in our control; what food to eat, car we buy, TV show to watch, or exercise to take up. In relationships, such decisions are shared. When the food tastes bad, the car breaks down or we injure ourselves, guilt can turn to blame as we attempt to shift responsibility. Awareness of the interdependent impact of our decisions is vital for creating a well formed outcome. We call this Sensory Acuity and Ecology. It is akin to the Social Adaptation Instinct: an intelligence that recognises the benefits from adapting to our environment and working together. Bonding with people and sharing tasks, increases the opportunities for procreation and self preservation. Individuals get to specialise in a function that supports the rest of the group. Mums nurture the kids, whilst Dads bring home the bacon and Grandma prepares supper. The gender roles are slowly adapting, but the principles of delegated responsibility remains the hallmark of a healthy society or organisation. Somebody is always working to maintain basic services to keep us warm, nourished and connected to the rest of the world. As with the external impact from decisions, we check in to see if all aspects of our own being are congruent with the desired outcome. The Six Step Reframing process could be seen as a way of gaining the vote of internal parts with a vested interest in behaviours we wish to change. Given what we know from Meta-Programmes and Language and Behaviour (LAB) Profiling1, our attempts in covering all contexts for a congruent behaviour, remain an approximation. Committing to purchase and changing our minds is an area we all encounter. Commitment We receive a booking from someone wishing to attend our NLP workshop, but they cancel at the last minute, or we have to chase payment. We book space in this magazine to advertise our event. Time passes, the invoice arrives and we find that we do not have the money. Maybe the ad didn’t bring the results we expected? Or the car breaks down so the money is required elsewhere?
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I suspect this will be a more frequent experience in this age of austerity. We cannot ignore the impact of reality, or Harold Macmillan’s oft quoted retort “Events, my dear boy, events!”. In my experience, reality does have a way of kicking expectations in to touch. It is how we respond that can be a measure of our congruence. If there is one useful lesson I can share from my entrepreneurial business experiences in two previous recessions, it is to contact your suppliers to communicate pending difficulties for paying the bill, before they contact you. My experience is that they are more understanding and cooperative than we would expect. Congruence could manifest with aligning to the original commitment by paying the bill before the results are known, and whilst the money is at hand. If the money is not at hand, that may be a good opportunity to re-evaluate the congruency of your commitment!
Our vote is one of many, and there will be winners and losers
A Model of Congruency A 1937 lecture2 by P. D. Ouspensky presented teachings of Mr G I Gurdjieff3 (c1877–1949) “Man has not one permanent and unchangeable ‘I’ or Ego. He is always different, one moment he is one, another moment he is another...The illusion of unity or oneness is created in man by the sensation of one physical body, by his name, and by a number of mechanical habits” Neuroscience findings from Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) seem to support this concept. Science writer Rita Carter4, describes how our sense of being conscious, relates to a frequency of neural activity reaching a certain level. However, the active neurons are not always the same ones for us to experience consciousness. Ms. Carter likens neurons to zombie-like-passengers, robotic humanoids charged with relaying a good or bad verdict on one piece of information. Mr Gurdjieff makes a similar analogy: Man is likened to a horse and carriage whose variety of passengers, govern the
NLP
Reality does have a way of kicking expectations in to touch
INFLUENCE
INFLUENCE
direction and speed, as there is no Master to drive the vehicle. With no Master at the helm, Gurdjieff tells us these different parts of our inner functions are distorted, and not doing what they are supposed to be doing. Gurdjieff’s analogy becomes a household where the parlour maid is driving the car, the chauffeur preparing the meal, and the butler is washing dishes. We can apply this to Dilts’ Logical Levels5, an NLP pyramid model adapted from Bateson’s work on understanding differences, by moving to another ‘level’ of comparison. An inverted pyramid is often added to represent spirituality (fig 1). The apex represents a single Identity exerting a downward influence on our Beliefs and Values: motivations for “why we think what we think and do what we do” including “changing his or her thoughts or actions”. This influences Capabilities and Skills, which affects Behaviour and the Environment as experienced by our five senses. The five senses communicate directly with our instinctual nature, and the model reflects how the flow of influence is Fig. 1 also upwards, thus Spritual meaning & impacting on identity. purpose The ancient Sanskrit Indian teachings expressed in the Bhagavad Gita6, warns of perils from Identity becoming enthralled in the blind-senseBeliefs/Values mind indulgences of the instinctual Capabilities centre. The authentic practices of Yoga and Behaviours; What? Meditation express the work required to Environment; Where? When? With evolve to a higher conscious expression of Self. A deeper realisation is that our sense of self is more influenced by context than we care to acknowledge. We only have to contemplate the behavioural manifestations of Meta-programmes: in one context I am avoiding something, another attaining. There are things I must do alone, and others I desire the cooperation of other people. Any interference in our pattern can bring up a multitude of resistance. Our reactivity becomes the measure of how identified we may be with particular meta-programmes in a given context. The Logical Levels of Gurdjieff and Carter become more like a series of interconnected cones with many apexes representing lots of “I”s. When one “I” commits in one context (fig 2). The other “I”s are asleep and unaware, thus uncommitted. The sleep acts as a buffer to lessen the shock we would otherwise experience if we were aware of our inconsistencies. Grahame Morgan-Watson / Founder of MetaMe. West Sussex www.MetaMe.co.uk email grahame@metame.co.uk Tel 01403 823283 INLPTA certified NLP Trainer Words That Change Minds (LAB Profile) Consultant and Trainer Riso-Hudson certified Enneagram Teacher and Enneagram Institute Authorised Tecaher / Feldenkrais Practitioner
Fig. 2
Much of our neurotic, habitual behaviour is instinctual and normally out of awareness. It is also the seat of some of our most dramatic experiences of incongruence. Our thought patterns may engage in justifying the manifestations of the instinctual drive. Our hearts may harden to the consequences, but the root cause is our lack of an indivisible “I”. Awakening to a higher self Taking an aim to awaken to such a consciousness requires courage, patience and objective self observation7. We begin to see the insurgencies of rebelling “I”s with compassion and non-judgemental awareness. We develop a magnetic centre - a gravitational pull of a lone steward, passionate to a cause. Our inner politician sets up his or her stall to herald a higher ideal by staying awake to reality, grateful for whoever or whatever shows up. Our powers of influence and persuasion are focused inwards. Regular meditation supports the quietening of the zombie-like noises, bringing more neurons into alignment with the stated aim. But like any regular gathering, we notice the reluctance of some parts to get involved. We begin to see our habitual distractions, which can be utilised for staying awake. So as you contemplate your voting preference, take a moment to notice what you are expecting? What is the part that regrets, reacts or blames? How can you be more in the moment? Presence is never a habit and reality is always in the eternal now. We cannot rewrite history, nor second guess the future. We may not like the current economic conditions, but we can stay true to our higher ideals with compassion for our fellow humans. We can be courageous, innovative and challenging, and still be kind, considerate and open to new ideas. Our ability to adapt without reactivity or attachment may be the only measure of authentic congruency.
References: 1. Words That Change Minds. By Shelle Rose Charvet 2. The Psychology of Mans Possible Evolution . PD Ouspensky. Random House 3. In Search of The Miraculous. The Teachings of G. I. Gurdjieff by P D Ouspensky 4. Consciousness. By Rita Carter 2002 5. Encyclopaedia of Systemic Neuro-Linguistic Programming by Robert Dilts & Judith DeLozier 6. The Bhagavad Gita, commentary by Paramahansa Yogananda, published by SRF 7. Self Observation. By Red Hawk (Dr. Robert Moore)
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BUSINESS
The
Big Society and NLP
A volunteer’s experience working with the young unemployed By Michael Deval I found myself focusing on: Goal setting - so few of this group of young people had any long or short term goals and had little if any sense of the power of intention and well formed goals in their lives. Literacy - many struggle with spelling, punctuation and extended writing of any kind. Social skills - particularly empathy and seeing things from other points of view. Negative beliefs about themselves - often linked to a strong sense of powerlessness Managing their own emotional states accessing positive feelings for learning and self motivation.
H
aving taken voluntary redundancy and trained as a practitioner (including TLT and Hypnosis) I couldn’t help noticing that all was not necessarily as well with my world as I thought. Many young people right now are
These ‘in your face’ facts provided me with the ‘why’ for my involvement
finding the tight job market and the cuts to benefits in prospect a real challenge. In my own area of South Wales I became aware of those with multiple needs; poverty, chaotic family background, low educational attainment, not to mention low self esteem and poverty of aspiration. These ‘in your face’ facts provided me with the ‘why’ for my involvement. And the ‘what’? As a volunteer with both the Princes Trust and Rathbone UK, two of the largest charities working with this client group in the UK.....the need tended to be self evident.
Evaluation results Over the course of the mentoring and coaching twenty one young people filled in an evaluation form on the support and mentoring they had received. From 14 descriptors available 66% of young people used the word ‘interesting’ to describe the work 61% described the sessions as ’well organised’
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57% said they were ‘fun ’and ‘enjoyable, ‘practical’ and successful’ The remainder of comments were all positive using words like ‘relevant’ motivating’ and ‘challenging’ Individual comments were revealing:” We wanted more group work”...”more practical activities”...”better story endings”(for the metaphors) and “I found it excellent”
I got increasingly involved over nine months in three principal roles. As a learning coach in a training centre where predominantly long term unemployed young people undertake preparation for entry to work qualifications. I also found myself working with individual 18-24 year olds who are trying to establish their own sole trader businesses, often very small scale, as a way out of unemployment. More recently still, I have taken on a direct training role as part of a team delivering courses for potential young entrepreneurs. I have found that NLP tools are a rich and rewarding way of working with this client group. As a relative beginner feeling my way I found some tools worked better than others but regular feedback from the young people themselves showed me how things could work even better next time (see box for the results of a small evaluation). After all, the young people themselves didn’t mince words
BUSINESS
and if they didn’t rate it they said so; as one teenager put it succinctly on one occasion “Hey mate this is bxxxxxxx!” So what did work and appeared to make a difference? Well formed goals exercise At the training centre I used a kinaesthetic exercise with learners whom I had previously established as having a strong kinaesthetic bias in their representational systems. We did a ‘stepping stones’ exercise. They began by stating their goal in positive terms (step 1) moving to stepping stone two to answer the question ‘what’s stopping you?’ Then to step three; ‘what do you want instead?’. Then repeating this sequence as they move round the room until they had identified the key steps they need to take them from right now to their future outcome. This got many thinking about their goals in ways they had never done before, acknowledging their current situation and its challenges, specifying their evidence for success, the context, their role in change and the resources needed that they can draw on. Chunking up and chunking down.... thinking skills ‘Chunking down’ worked well in drafting business plans with young entrepreneurs.” If that’s your goal where, when and how specifically will you act to achieve it? What needs doing exactly? ...give a specific instance. The goal was chunked down to the key actions which were chunked down to the supporting actions that would get them to the outcome With the entry to work trainees they found any extended piece of writing a real challenge and this tool helped them for example think logically about what qualities and qualifications they need to get work... and what would be a specific example in the here and now of that? It was gratifying to see one student work through...PUNCTUALITY: The right attitude ( chunk up) - everyday at my work placement( chunk down) - To get the job done ( chunk up) - If I don’t get to the Rathbone centre on time I don’t get paid (chunk down.) Isomorphic metaphors proved almost spell binding with the majority of the young trainees who, though not accustomed to silent attention, were sometimes rapt with anticipation. Opening a metaphor and leaving it suspended is a great technique for promoting curiosity and unlocking the trap door of the unconscious. Just make sure you
use the right ones! I found the metaphors in Nick Owens book worked well and embedded suggestions about patience and timeliness (The Jar); motivation (The Outside Toilet); behavioural flexibility (The US Navy)...among many others including some I made up! Negative belief change proved more nuanced. Running a movie in their heads proved difficult even impossible for some while for others their movie and the submodality changes gave them a real ‘buzz’ and in a number of cases was a very powerful experience for the individual. Needless to say the evaluation of the long term impact on confidence and self esteem was not possible to gauge. Anchoring and Learning states I generally get the young people to use the ear lobe rather than me touching the knuckle to anchor a positive experience. I ask them to recall a time when they were really motivated. This was a great starter to some sessions...’when I scored a try’....’when I rode a motorbike...‘ and then future pacing it to support the work in hand. Developing a readiness to learn spellings by opening up peripheral vision by fixating on a point above them and in front had positive responses. Holding spelling words up and to my right to access their visual recall intrigued them. Seeing the words in their visual recall field then spelling them forwards and backwards also produced encouraging responses...though formal evaluation was not possible in the context. Miltonic pre framing I always begin the session by pre-framing the activity. I am getting better at using Miltonic style language and embedding suggestions. It can sound stilted but the art is in using the context to support the suggestion or command. ‘ Sandra and Ryan told Darren and he told me that sooner or later you will all find yourself in an interview or work placement and it’s good to see yourself from other people’s points of view. Can you imagine that?’ Perceptual positions Getting the entry to work trainees who have not had any employment experience to understand how they and the situation they are in appears one way to them but very differently to other people was an eye opener. Putting large cardboard footprints around the room labelled with a descriptor such as ‘parent’ ‘ employer’ ‘police’ , literally
Opening a metaphor and leaving it suspended is a great technique for promoting curiosity challenged them to step into someone else’s shoes and look at themselves . This worked well on the themes of ‘getting a job’ and ‘binge drinking’ producing insights. One would state their personal view then take on the role by stepping’ into someone else’s shoes and be interviewed by the others about themselves. Comments produced included.... ‘From an employer’s point of view employing young people is hard because you don’t know what they’re going to turn out like’.....’school needs to be more strict and they (students) should be made to leave with at least a grade C so they have a good chance of getting a job’. And more... Getting rapport with a group of strong minded and often disaffected young people is not easy. They expect you to take on an authority role so I match predicates, voice tone and posture where I can. Reframing worked well in response to a verbal challenge – “It’s boring!” “Yes it can seem boring at the beginning and yet we can...”. I am beginning to get better at the sleight of mouth techniques that pick up on their meta programmes by using generalisation upwards – “the main thing to grasp is...”; or specifics – “if you can do the first one then the rest are ...”.Being motivated away from-“ you don’t want to be staying here too long do you?”. Or towards – “spelling is important in applying for a job” as well as their focus of attention as internal – “it depends how you feel about it” or external – “Your parents might disagree”. Chunking up! Volunteering is becoming a more and more significant role for lots of people whether they buy into the politics of ‘The Big Society’ or not. Moreover the needs of the client groups that volunteers will often be working with in new, and sometimes challenging contexts means that NLP and its rich tool kit can play a big role. Perhaps more importantly still the techniques don’t only bring about positive change in others. You learn what you teach, so they also bring about positive change in yourself!
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ANLP
ur New Website
By Claire Sweeney
M
onday 14th February was not only a day to express your love for your partner or a secret crush; it was also the launch day of the new ANLP Website. After months of hard work and design, the new website was ready to be unleashed into the public domain. www.anlp.org has been designed for 3 main purposes. Firstly, to educate the public - to aid their understanding of NLP, help them in their search of an NLP professional and to offer them independent and impartial advice. Secondly, for the NLP Community - to offer facilities of searching for their next training course, expand their knowledge with our research resources and welcome them to our open forum. Thirdly, for our members - to provide them with a profile that they can easily access, update and use to promote their services, to keep listings of their courses and case studies for others to view and to share their experiences and opinions in our members only forum. For anyone new to NLP, it can be a little daunting when knowing who to ask for advice and guidance. Because ANLP is an independent and impartial members organisation, we are here to help our members and to help the public to gain a greater understanding of the NLP world. We do not run our own training, so we can assist the public when looking for an NLP professional or course from a non biased point of view – helping them to find exactly what they want. So this is exactly how we have set out our new website. The improved navigation facilities and clearer layout makes it easy to search for exactly what you want. We now have a section titled ‘New to NLP’ which has been especially designed to answer any questions and to encourage gentle learning. Some of our subsections include ‘What is NLP?’ ‘How can NLP help?’ ‘Find an NLP Professional’ and ‘Diary Events’. There are also tips on finding the NLP Professional and Trainer, and the value of engaging with a Member of ANLP. Anyone can sign up to one of our E-newsletters and keep up to date with various things that ANLP have on offer. The whole ANLP Team have profiles on the new website, including the Advisory Board, ANLP Fellows, External Verification panel and International Ambassadors. The new site is more interactive with opportunities for visitors to comment on the ANLP blogs, add their own reviews to the recommended book list and raise discussions with other people from the NLP community via our open forum. If you have already started your NLP journey by completing your NLP Practitioners Certificate, then our ‘NLP Qualified’ section is just for you. This section includes information about ANLP Membership and offers guidance for raising your profile, building your business and
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The improved navigation facilities and clearer layout makes it easy to search for exactly what you want connecting with the wider NLP community. If you have just qualified, we have a subsection titled ‘Qualification Structure’ where you can ensure that you are on the right path. In collaboration with all the main NLP membership organisations, ANLP have now published a comprehensive list of UK based ‘Master Trainers’, which is available on our website, so you can make an informed decision about advancing your career in NLP. There are many new avenues to explore and to maximise your new found skills, find out how incorporating your NLP with your existing skills can enhance what you have to offer in out ‘Potential Development’ section. There is also business and financial advice available and discounts if you decide to become an ANLP member. We now have our ANLP online shop where you can purchase publications such as Acuity and The NLP Research Journal: Volume 1 (and take advantage of your members discounts on these purchases). We also have our ‘NLP Research’ section where you can find out about the latest international projects including the next NLP Research Conference (6th-7th July 2012) and The Research and Recognition Project. ANLP has so much to offer the NLP Community from our fab new
ANLP
For anyone new to NLP, it can be a little daunting when knowing who to ask for advice and guidance
website to the generous benefits in our benefits packages. ANLP is built on a great foundation – our ethics and values. You can read all about our ethics, values and benefits in our ‘Membership Information’ section. Find out how becoming an ANLP member can help to increase your credibility, demonstrate your professionalism and raise your NLP profile. Our valued Members are already appreciate the difference in our new website. In the short time since the launch, we have received endless positive feedback, including the following testimonials from our members: ‘I love it - well done everyone who worked on it!’ - Caitlin Collins ‘The new website is fantastic – well done for a magnificent job which must have taken lots of time and effort to achieve by a variety of ANLP colleagues and IT experts etc.! The website is valuable on so many levels – for people wanting to find out about NLP and ANLP and for we as members to put our profiles there. I am really impressed at how easy it is to access the information and how well presented it is. Congratulations to everyone involved and a thank you from a satisfied member!’ - Ann Skidmore ‘The new website is packed with valuable information and is so easy to navigate - I have updated my profile and picture - great website. Wish you all lots more success!’ - Sarah Beretta ‘I love the clarity of the new website and it appears to be well considered for navigation by both new visitors and seasoned hands, so well done to all who worked on it.’ - Chris Menlove-Platt Once logged onto their personal profile page, members have access to a wide variety of exclusive features. They can access the ‘Members Only’ section where they will find top tips on the importance of managing and maintaining their profile. Members can upload and manage their own web advertising and they can share their success stories and experiences in our ‘Case Studies’ section for others who want to read about how NLP can help them. Members can now download their Membership/Accredited logos, their Members Pack, business support resources and free PDF copies of Acuity and The NLP Research Journal: Volume 1. ANLP Accreditation is now highlighted, because more people are enquiring about Accredited Trainers or ANLP accredited courses. So check out our ‘Accreditation’ tab to find out what the ANLP
Accreditation Programme involves and how it can benefit you. On a day to day basis, your members profile is a great way of highlighting your skills and promoting your expertise to our website users. By listing all of your practice locations, qualifications and specialist skills, you will be instantly increasing your profile on the search facilities. By uploading a photograph or a video of you in action, you will have created appeal not only to our visual NLPers but to people that are unsure of what a NLP session entails. You can now include your LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter links for maximum interaction with potential clients. Have you considered uploading your news into our ‘Members News’ section? Share your good news with us - the fact that you have completed your NLP Trainers certificate, you have just led your first ANLP Accredited course or that you are running the London Marathon. Whatever you want to share with us, we want to hear it! You can also buy credits though your profile and use these to set up your own adverts on the website. You decide on their position and how often they appear plus you can add a link to direct people straight to your website! Initial tracking through Google Analytics indicates that the new site is even more popular, receiving over 49,000 page hits and 59% new visitors in the last month. The new ANLP website has been an exciting and challenging project and we are delighted with the results. Karen Moxom, Managing Director of ANLP, stated “It was a bit like having a baby. 9 months of preparation and ensuring that everything was ready and then ... the ANLP website baby arrived! With a few late nights and early mornings leading up to the launch, the website has demanded our full attention over the last few weeks, and our ‘Super Nannies’ have been complete God sends! We are eternally grateful to Ash Bostock and Mark Zaretti at Sparticle and we would like to thank them for their creativity and skill, as well as their patience and understanding when teaching us how to use our new system. We would also like to thank Andrew Lang, who ‘inherited’ us as a client and who has developed and managed the original site since 2005.” We will, after a few weeks of settling in, continue to develop the site and respond to our Members feedback.For now please do enjoy the new website. If you haven’t already done so, then log onto www. anlp.org and check it out for yourselves. If you have any questions then please check our FAQs or ‘Membership Management’ section. If you require further guidance or have any feedback, then please let us know and we will be more than happy to help. You can email me on members@anlp.org or follow the direct link in the ‘Contact Us’ section.
members@anlp.org www.anlp.org
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TRAINING & WORKSHOPS
If we Grow Together
We Grow Stronger By Reb Veale
J
udging by the number of conversations on a theme that have cropped up between myself, friends and colleagues recently, I have drawn the conclusion that we are at a frontier in the world of NLP training. Our world is facing all manner of challenges and opportunities – environmental catastrophes, the economic situation, nation’s struggle for democracy, the concept of the ‘Big Society’ etc. So, what place does NLP training have in today’s world and, for that matter…
So, what place does NLP training have in today’s world and, for that matter… tomorrow’s? tomorrow’s? I once heard John Grinder say it would be criminal if NLP training remained exactly the same as it originally was in the early days of the nascent study. Whilst watching a TV programme recently, where a celebrity ‘trouble shooter’ was seeking to revolutionise the practise of selling houses, I noticed a very brief reference to the ‘tired and shonky sales training’ the estate agents had previously received; illustrated by a few PowerPoint slides with VAK accompanied by some stock emoticon clip art. It was a stark reminder to me how NLP training is sometimes reduced to a clichéd 30 minute session of ‘look in the eyes, not around the eyes, you’re under’- type pressure sales and manipulation technique training. How sad and infuriating, all at the same time. This, for me, underlines the crucial need to distinguish between simply training students in ‘tricks’ and engaging their minds, hearts and attitudes through sharing the underpinning principles of NLP, or as Wyatt Woodsmall puts it, ‘training NLP strategists, not just technicians’. The exciting aspect is that there is a genuine groundswell in the NLP community towards more meaningful and sustainable training. In a recent thread on
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the ANLP LinkedIn discussion forum, Marie Faire highlighted the need for us as trainers to ensure that our students are aware of the boundaries of safe practise, as created by the appropriate combination of competence, confidence and ecology. In the Sunday Times recently, an article understandably examining wasteful spending in UK local authorities, referred conspicuously to the ‘waste’ of 400 council employees being trained in ‘controversial neurolinguistic programming techniques popularised by television hypnotist Paul McKenna’ (Rayment, Henry & Flyn, ST 13.2.11). To be clear, I am not criticising the writers’ conclusions, the council’s spending strategy or the training itself; more so, I lament the all-too-common
misconceptions that seep into the public arena through online discussion fora and articles that appear to arrive at the ‘cult-like, snake oil salesman’ conclusions about NLP through no direct experience of NLP training itself, rather from well-publicised horror stories that linger in the public’s consciousness. Time to redress the balance then. A quick search engine foray into ‘NLP training courses’ will proffer a dizzying array of advertised programmes in many widely varying
TRAINING & WORKSHOPS
there is a genuine groundswell in the NLP community towards more meaningful and sustainable training formats and lengths. There are ‘intensive’ 7 day Practitioner trainings (albeit, my own students report that our longer trainings are somewhat intensive too!), comprehensive 16 to 24 day Practitioners, trainings held on consecutive days, spread over four or five modules, or over a weekend per month for a year. Of course, my own company’s trainings reflect a format that I believe supports the widest combination of learning preferences effectively to achieve the professional standards to which I subscribe, but even more importantly; I uphold the provision of choice for the prospective Practitioner. Fortunately, forward-thinking colleague trainers such as Judith Lowe, John Field and others have researched and created some genuinely useful guides to help the public make the best decision for their own training. How do we support students before and during training – again, the variety may lead to confusion. Some trainers offer audio CDs of previous trainings as preparation, or suggested reading lists of such trusted classics as the NLP Workbook by Joseph O’Connor or last year’s excellent NLP Principles in Practice by Lisa Wake. And of course, there are sets of integration questions, which are bemoaned and triumphantly celebrated in equal measure and which guide the Practitioner student’s research, lend structure to their learning and provide evidence of their journey from theoretical overwhelm commonly at the outset to behavioural and attitudinal integration by certification. What many of our own students are increasingly interested in at the point of first enquiry is the demonstrated relevance of their Practitioner or Master Practitioner experience and qualification to their job role, their career aspirations or to their life in general. Here, I am increasingly grateful to the generosity of our previous students for remaining happy to discuss their experience with prospective students, as well as having gratitude to colleagues in the NLP community who share their research studies and applications focus. Sally Vanson’s work to provide a university
accredited pathway for NLP and coaching courses is an example of how the community of NLP training providers are not now waiting expectantly for people to take NLP seriously, but are proactively mapping course content and outcomes to existing competency and academic frameworks to drive standards even further. The more we ‘talk the same language’ as the individuals, companies and organisations that we train and enable them to understand the everyday relevance of NLP training, the less ‘contentious’ it will be deemed (notwithstanding some NLPers who clearly enjoy the mismatching agenda!). I wonder how many of us have attended management or leadership development, or business training courses in assertiveness, communication skills, coaching, teambuilding, managing performance and have found ourselves thinking ‘this is undercover NLP’? Whilst I can completely understand the decision to sometimes delay ‘labelling’ content explicitly as NLP at the consultancy stage to avoid uninformed prejudice creating an unnecessary barrier; I firmly believe in crediting fields of study appropriately, whether this is within applied training or within a Practitioner training, where an expert, modeller or another field is due credit. If being too embarrassed to espouse NLP principles in training and pretending that NLP is some kind of omnipotent panacea are the equally unsatisfactory polar opposites; I feel that we have an opportunity and duty to keep pursuing a path of transparency and partnership with those listening from outside our community. Thanks to excellent ongoing studies in applied NLP; in education, health, coaching, business and therapy; there are more and more training choices for those who are seeking niche applied trainings or an informed general training. One of the most exciting aspects for me of being an NLP Trainer at the moment is the collegiate, respectful and generous attitude of other NLP Trainers. I am occasionally asked by prospective students what I think of my ‘competitors’ and I can understand their initial
scepticism when I say that I genuinely don’t perceive other trainers as competitors. At the outstanding NLP Conference in November, I always learn so very much from my colleagues’ seminars and my fellow delegates – how could I exclude these experiences by viewing them as competition? In both her NLP conference seminar about ‘sponsorship’ and a recent online discussion thread about ‘Coalition NLP’, ANLP’s Karen Moxom encouraged our community to explore how we can all benefit by pursuing credibility for NLP itself. This continues to build on and incorporate the research-driven approach that the NLP Research and Recognition Project (www. nlprandr.org) is driving at a global level, which will build an evidence base that allows us to place relevance, credibility and a commitment to professional standards at the heart of every NLP training in the future. So, in true NLP style…the call to action ;) How will each of us choose to make our mark on NLP and NLP training in the future, starting now? We can make a small but regular donation to the NLP Research and Recognition Project to help fund groundbreaking research or volunteer your time and talent (see the website for details). We can do a piece of research in our own area of interest - I am happy to declare my own prior limiting beliefs about carrying out research, which were thankfully amply answered by the down-to-earth and supportive approach evident at ANLP’s second International NLP Research Conference held at Cardiff University in July 2010. We can encourage our own Practitioner students to take up the research gauntlet. We can ensure that NLP’s lifeblood, modelling is the focus of Master Practitioner training and can sponsor our students to contribute their modelling projects to the NLP community. I am, of course, grateful to the skilful and caring trainers who have shared NLP with me and count among my trainers my own students, from whom I continue to learn and be enriched. If we grow together, we grow stronger and this can only help our common ANLP aim, ‘to maintain standards and encourage best practice amongst NLP Professionals and inform the public about the benefits and applications of NLP’.
Reb Veale is an INLPTA certified NLP Trainer, qualified coach, business psychologist and Managing Director of Reveal Solutions Training Ltd. She is also co-author of the Reveal More™ range of coach development products; GROW Coaching Cards (also available as iPhone apps), a GROW Coaching DVD, an MBTI audio CD and a free Feedback download, which can all be found at www.revealsolutions.co.uk/shop-products.asp . Our NLP course details are also on our website. Our Reveal More blog is at http://revealmore.wordpress.com/ . Twitter: Reveal Solutions and Reveal More. Contact reb@revealsolutions.co.uk or visit our website.
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DIARY
DIARY OF EVENTS FOR SPRING 2011
April 2011 NLP Foundation/Diploma Course 2/4/11 Chennai, India Ramesh Prasad +9841866623 ramesh@onefluencer.com INLPTA Accredited NLP Practitioner 2/4/11 Isbourne Centre, Cheltenham Kim Phillips 01386 861916 kimmphillips@hotmail.com NLP Practitioner Course 2/4/11 Swindon Mike Dee 01793706862 mike.dee@aapd.co.uk INLPTA NLP Practitioner 2/4/11 Swindon Mike Dee 01793706862 mike.dee@aapd.co.uk NLP Practitioner Course 2/4/11 Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk Accredited NLP Practitioner course 2/4/11 Brighton Terry Elston 0800 0746425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk Integral Eye Movement Technique 2/4/11 UKCPD, Swindon Tony Nutley 0800 612 9189 info@ukcpd.net NLP Practitioner and TFT Algorithm Combined Training 3/4/11 National Centre For Excellence, Lilleshall, TF10 9AT Mark Chambers 07968046315 mewchambers@btinternet.com
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ACCELERATED NLP Master Practitioner Certification 3/4/11 Nottingham Colette White 0800 043 3657 or from outside the UK +44 207 249 5 colette@infiniteexcellence.com Discover NLP 4/4/11 London Helen Drake 0208 995 2864 helen@pointtaken.com NLP Master Practitioner Hypnosis 6/4/11 Accenture centre, Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com NLP Practitioner Training in Newbury 7/4/11 Newbury Miriam McCallum 07887 868414 miriam@mccallumassociates. co.uk Endorsed NLP Diploma, Kirkwall, Orkney 7/4/11 Kirkwall, Orkney, Scotland Rosie O'Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk NLP Practitioner Programme 9/4/11 Cedar Farm Galleries, Lancs Mandy Pearson 07931 520101 mandy@harlowhill.com NLP Foundation/Diploma Course 9/4/11 Bengaluru, India Ramesh Prasad +9841866623 ramesh@onefluencer.com The 'SLIM' Programme Start Looking In the Mirror 9/4/11 Sutton, SM1 2RF Alma Griffith 01737 812498 alma@nutrihealing.co.uk
NLP Fast-track Sports Practitioner 9/4/11 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com NLP Master Practitioner Course 9/4/11 Brighton Terry Elston 0800 0746425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk Intensive NLP Master Practitioner Certification 9/4/11 Sepx, France Ian Pitchford 07976281927 ian@amind4adventure.com NLP Practitioner Training: ABNLP Accredited 10/4/11 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk Certificate in Coaching Supervision 12/4/11 Bath Tracey McCulloch 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com INLPTA Full Practitioner Module 2 14/4/11 Gloucestershire Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk NLP Practice Group 16/4/11 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com INLPTA Accredited NLP Master Practitioner 16/4/11 Isbourne Centre, Cheltenham Kim Phillips 01386 861916 kimmphillips@hotmail.com NLP Foundation/Diploma Course 16/4/11 Kolkata, India Ramesh Prasad +9841866623 ramesh@onefluencer.com
INLPTA NLP Foundation Diploma 23/4/11 Swindon Mike Dee 01793706862 mike.dee@aapd.co.uk Southsea NLP Practice Group 25/4/11 Southsea, Portsmouth Joe Isaac 02392733920 joebythesea@hotmail.com
INLPTA Accredited NLP Practitioner 7/5/11 Isbourne Centre, Cheltenham Kim Phillips 01386 861916 kimmphillips@hotmail.com NLP Practitioner Course 7/5/11 Swindon Mike Dee 01793706862 mike.dee@aapd.co.uk
NLP Taster Day: Insight to Excellence 27/4/11 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk
INLPTA NLP Practitioner 7/5/11 Swindon Mike Dee 01793706862 mike.dee@aapd.co.uk
INLPTA Master Practitioner 28/4/11 Gloucester Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk
NLP Master Practitioner Course 7/5/11 Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk
NLP Master Practitioner (INLPTA certified) Module 1 30/4/11 Stirling, Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk
ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification 7/5/11 London Colette White 0800 043 3657 or from outside the UK +44 207 249 5 colette@infiniteexcellence.com
May 2011 Advanced Personal Development II 3/5/11 North East Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com Licensed NLP Practitioner Training (SNLP) - Birmingham 6/5/11 Birmingham Matt Caulfield 08453 626277 mail@mattcaulfield.co.uk NLP Foundation/Diploma Course 7/5/11 Chennai, India Ramesh Prasad +9841866623 ramesh@onefluencer.com
NLP Fast-track Sports Practitioner 8/5/11 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com FREE 2 Day NLP Business Practitioner Introduction 11/5/11 Hertfordshire David Key 0845 434 0149 enquiries@auspicium.co.uk INLPTA Full Practitioner Module 3 12/5/11 Gloucestershire Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk Words that Change Minds: LAB Profile Practitioner Training with Shelle Rose Charvet 12/5/11 London Robbie Steinhouse 44 (0) 207 428 7915 info@nlpschool.com
NLP Practitioner Programme 14/5/11 Cedar Farm Galleries, Lancs Mandy Pearson 07931 520101 mandy@harlowhill.com
NLP Foundation/Diploma Course 21/5/11 Hyderabad, India Ramesh Prasad +9841866623 ramesh@onefluencer.com
Discover NLP 4/6/11 London Helen Drake 0208 995 2864 helen@pointtaken.com
NLP Practitioner Training for Teachers 14/5/11 Swindon JSnlp 0845 658 0654 jill@jsnlp.co.uk
Provocative Therapy for Excellent Communication 21/5/11 Leeds Nick Kemp 01274 622994 info@nickkemp.com
NLP Trainer Training - Weekends 4/6/11 Bristol JSnlp 0845 658 0654 jill@jsnlp.co.uk
NLP Foundation/Diploma Course 14/5/11 Bengaluru, India Ramesh Prasad +9841866623 ramesh@onefluencer.com
NLP Practitioner Training: ABNLP Accredited 22/5/11 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk
NLP for Business Diploma Course (endorsed) 14/5/11 Aberdeen, Scotland Rosie O'Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk NLP Practitioner South Africa 14/5/11 Johannesburg Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk NLP Fast-Track Sports Practitioners (for existing Practitioners) 17/5/11 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com NLP Fast-track Sports Practitioner 17/5/11 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com NLP Taster Day: Insight to Excellence 18/5/11 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk NLP Practitioner Training in Newbury 19/5/11 Newbury Miriam McCallum 07887 868414 miriam@mccallumassociates. co.uk INLPTA Accredited NLP Master Practitioner 21/5/11 Isbourne Centre, Cheltenham Kim Phillips 01386 861916 kimmphillips@hotmail.com
NLP Foundation (part 1 of practitioner) 23/5/11 Accenture centre, Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com NLP Basics (part 2 of practitioner) 25/5/11 Accenture centre, Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com INLPTA Master Practitioner 26/5/11 Gloucester Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk ACCELERATED NLP Master Practitioner Certification 29/5/11 London Colette White 0800 043 3657 or from outside the UK +44 207 249 5 colette@infiniteexcellence.com Southsea NLP Practice Group 30/5/11 Southsea, Portsmouth Joe Isaac 02392733920 joebythesea@hotmail.com
June 2011 NLP Diploma (INLPTA certified) 3/6/11 Stirling, Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk
NLP Practitioner Course 4/6/11 Swindon Mike Dee 01793706862 mike.dee@aapd.co.uk INLPTA Accredited NLP Practitioner 4/6/11 Isbourne Centre, Cheltenham Kim Phillips 01386 861916 kimmphillips@hotmail.com NLP Foundation/Diploma Course 4/6/11 Chennai, India Ramesh Prasad 0841866623 ramesh@onefluencer.com INLPTA NLP Practitioner 4/6/11 Swindon Mike Dee 01793706862 mike.dee@aapd.co.uk FREE 2 Day NLP Business Diploma! 8/6/11 Hertfordshire David Key +44 (0)845 434 0149 enquiries@auspicium.co.uk INLPTA Full Practitioner Module 4 9/6/11 Gloucestershire Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk NLP Foundation/Diploma Course 11/6/11 Bengaluru, India Ramesh Prasad +9841866623 ramesh@onefluencer.com NLP Master Practitioner Coaching 15/6/11 Accenture centre, Milton Keynes Michael Beale 01908 506563 michaelbeale@ppimk.com
NLP Introductory course: NLP Essential Skills 15/6/11 Central London Robbie Steinhouse 44 (0) 207 428 7915 info@nlpschool.com NLP Practitioner Training 15/6/11 London Robbie Steinhouse 44 (0) 207 428 7915 info@nlpschool.com INLPTA Accredited NLP Master Practitioner 18/6/11 Isbourne Centre, Cheltenham Kim Phillips 01386 861916 kimmphillips@hotmail.com NLP Diploma 18/6/11 France Alison Matthews 07976 246151 alison.matthews@sensabilityuk. co.uk NLP Practitioner Training: ABNLP Accredited 19/6/11 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk NLP Master Practitioner Intensive 20/6/11 Oxfordshire Sue Knight 01628 604438 sue@sueknight.co.uk
NLP Master Practitioner Course 25/6/11 Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk NLP Practitioner Training: ABNLP Accredited 26/6/11 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification 26/6/11 London Colette White 0800 043 3657 or from outside the UK +44 207 249 5 colette@infiniteexcellence.com Southsea NLP Practice Group 27/6/11 Southsea, Portsmouth Joe Isaac 02392733920 joebythesea@hotmail.com
FREE 2 Day NLP Business Diploma! 22/6/11 Hertfordshire David Key +44 (0)845 434 0149 enquiries@auspicium.co.uk INLPTA Master Practitioner 23/6/11 Gloucester Reb Veale +44(0)7790885086 reb@revealsolutions.co.uk Natural Development Retreat: Using the natural environment to aid personal growth and healing (Ecotherapy / NLP / Coaching) 24/6/11 Denbigh, North Wales Nigel Magowan 0161 881 4333 nigel@manchester-psychotherapy. co.uk NLP Practitioner Programme 25/6/11 Cedar Farm Galleries, Lancs Mandy Pearson 07931 520101 mandy@harlowhill.com
To get your workshops and events listed in Rapport, log in as a member to www.anlp.org and enter your events into the online diary. Every issue, online events listed for the next 3 months will be included in Rapport. rapport - Spring 2011
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Winner of the CMI Management Book of the Year Award Innovation and Entrepreneurship Category Held in association with the British Library, the CMI seek to uncover the UK’s best books on management and leadership. Professor Cary Cooper, a workplace psychologist based at the University of Lancaster, and one of the competition judges said: “I found this book the most interesting to read. Change is both an interesting and hugely applicable topic for a management text in the current climate.”
rEvolution How to Thrive in Crazy Times Bill Lucas We have reached a turning point in our development as a species. In the coming decades we face significant global challenges in terms of climate change, biodiversity, food and water resources and violent extremism. At the local level, these seem like crazy times, with the speed of change accelerating faster than ever.
Dr Susi Strang & Associates Are You Looking To Do More With Your NLP Training? If So The Following Programmes Will Be Of Interest To You! DIPLOMA IN CLINICAL HYPNOTHERAPY Mar – Oct 2011 20 Days Over Four Modules Accredited by The Hypnotherapy Society
DIPLOMA IN NLP PSYCHOTHERAPY 35 Days starting Jan 2012 INLPTA & NLPtCA Approved
DIPLOMA IN CLINICAL SUPERVISION
In rEvolution, best-selling author Bill Lucas suggests some of the ways we can all succeed in today’s complex world.
8 Days Over Two Modules 17 – 22 Oct 2011 & 9 - 10 Oct 2012
Drawing on new and emerging sciences and using approaches previously applied in other domains, this book describes some of the practical steps you can take at home, at school, in the workplace and in the wider community to ensure that you can constantly adapt to new circumstances.
ADVANCED PRACTITIONER
Bill’s analysis, optimism and suggestions for practical learning make this an essential addition to the book shelf of all thoughtful questioning members of the species! The focus on adaptive intelligence - and the need for managers and leaders to let go - is crucial to surviving this recession. I commend Bill Lucas for another thought-provoking book. A must have for anyone who is rethinking their approach to business. Ruth Spellman, Chief Executive, Chartered Management Institute A deeply compelling argument for a mind-ware revolution with the potential to equip individuals and organisations with vital capabilities for navigating and adapting to the uncharted waters into which we`re all sailing. Professor Eugene Sadler-Smith, School of Management, University of Surrey A treasury of invaluable ideas and advice on living and learning more effectively with the reality of change in the 21st century. Its variety, energy and expansiveness is a delight. I thoroughly recommend it. Lynne Sedgmore, Executive Director, 157 Group Bill Lucas is the best-selling author of Power Up Your Mind and is a sought after speaker, facilitator and strategist. He is an expert on leadership, change, lifelong learning, creativity, communication, the operation of the mind and parenting. He currently runs his own learning strategy business. ISBN 978-184590129-5 £12.99
To order your copies now visit www.anglo-american.co.uk or contact us on 01267 211880
INLPTA & NLPtCA Approved
11 Days Over Three Modules
16 – 21 May 2011; 23 – 25 Apr & 11 - 1 3 Jun 2012 INLPTA & NLPtCA Approved
ADVANCED MASTER PRACTITIONER
5 Days; 14 – 18 November 2011 INLPTA & NLPtCA Approved
ADVANCED PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT 4 Days; 26 –29 September 2011 INLPTA Approved
ANCIENT HAWAIIAN HUNA 3 Days; 24 – 26 November 2011 All our courses are run by not one but two expert Master Trainers with more than 40 years of combined experience. They are also registered Psychotherapists, accredited Hypnotherapists and Supervisors
For Further Details, Contact Us At 31 High Street, Skelton, Saltburn by the Sea, North Yorkshire, TS12 2EF Tel: 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com www.drsusistrang.com
BOOK REVIEWS
RAPPORT BOOK REVIEW Performance Coaching Toolkit Angus McLeod & Will Thomas £19.99, Open University Press Interested in improving your coaching skills? Keen to find a source of practical NLP friendly coaching methods and exercises? Or perhaps interested in refreshing your current coaching toolkit? Look no further, this is a great resource for anyone interested in coaching and or NLP. It is a collected mix of techniques and tools, skilfully highlighting the human dynamics of coaching in additional to core foundations. The books design and structure are very reader friendly enabling you to read cover to cover or dip in and out of chapters. For anyone new to the subject everything
is well and simply explained, as such I’d recommend it as a must buy. Those more knowledgeable will find it refreshing in its content presentation and practical approach, with the book putting in some great spins on core principles. Each chapter is clearly broken down into introduction, learning outcomes, triggers, under pinning rational, instructions for use, where to go from here, within the tool and using other tools sections making it very useable. Overall, this is a great book on the subject and definitely recommended.
Caroline Nowell, Book Review Panel
Thinking Therapeutically Tom Barber and Sandra Westland £20.00, Crown House Publishing Thinking Therapeutically affords a rare look into the minds of two seasoned hypnotherapists as they discuss sessions with actual clients. This book is especially ideal for beginning hypnotherapists. After describing how they each became a therapist, Barber and Westland alternately author chapters, each with a thorough case study, session transcript, commentary, the other author’s evaluation, and a session follow-up. The authors adroitly describe interventions that are a hypnotherapist’s stock-in-trade: anchoring, swish pattern, parts work, guided imagery, dream analysis, regression, and hypnoanalysis. They explain how to treat a range of typical, yet often challenging issues such as agoraphobia, internal conflict, irritable bowel syndrome, and eating disorders. The text is reminiscent of the conversation between Erickson and Rossi in The
February Man. With stark and touching honesty, the authors share perceptions, feelings, and even uncertainties. Reading between therapy sessions with my own clients, I mentally conversed with the authors and reflected more closely on my own internal process. The book reminded me of two things: First, how much therapists need one another as sounding boards; Second, how psychotherapy differs from most other occupations in that we bring to our work not only our skills, but elements of ourselves – our histories and emotions. It always amazes me how we softly tread between professional objectivity and the ability to engage fully with clients expressing their most private emotions and thoughts. Barber and Westland describe that process with remarkable precision.
Judith E. Pearson, Ph.D., Book Review Panel
Successful NLP, For the Results You Want Jeremy Lazarus £9.99, Crimson Pub, Jeremy’s focus is on using NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) for success and he takes the basic principles and shows you how to apply them in various areas for improvement. The book covers topics such as setting goals, communication, getting people on your side, changing behaviors, and modeling excellence. Each chapter has a short overview, followed by the basic NLP material on the topic interspersed with action points and top tips boxes. The chapters concluded with a quick recap sections that summarize the key points. The action boxes impressed me, and although not critical to text understanding are well designed exercises that really got me into the material. The top tips provide a re-enforcement of key points and I have found them useful to review before trying an activity in that domain. “Successful NLP” is a wonderful text for an NLP course, and a great reference guide. The book’s strength is also its weakness, as there isn’t much of a novel or story or mystery to the book,
so it does not have much entertainment value. Jeremy has does such an excellent job of elucidating the basic principles they seem like just common sense. However, I’m sure a motivated person after reading this book will be able to apply NLP principles to virtually any situation or problem with considerable success. Overall, I strongly recommend this book to anyone who wants to brush up on NLP and its application and doesn’t wish to spend the money or time for a full NLP training course. Intermediate NLP practitioners will find that book offers keen advice that can improve their usage of NLP, there are enough points in here, that you are bound to find a few tips that improve your practice. If you are seasoned NLP user or expert, this book is unlikely to excite you, and probably not worth your investment unless you are teaching an overview class on NLP in which case the book will prove valuable idea organizer. 4 stars out of 5.
Colin Carbno, Book Review Panel
To join the Book Review Panel email members@anlp.org rapport - Spring 2011
| 47
AUTHOR INTERVIEW
Exciting Business People about NLP David Molden and Pat Hutchinson of Quadrant 1
David Molden and Pat Hutchinson are Directors of NLP Training and Consulting firm Quadrant 1, specialising in working with businesses and business people. They have written several books together as well as others as individuals or with other writing partners (see box). When they spoke to Rapport’s Andy Coote, they were at the end of an intensive day of training in Oxford.
D
avid’s first book, Managing with the Power of NLP, came from a search by Pearson Education, in 1994, for someone with a business background and NLP experience. David had both and was soon commissioned to write the book, with a deadline and a 65,000 word count as constraints. “NLP was just beginning to get used in business. It was useful because I was able to organise my thoughts and my experience and structure them. From there it was a matter of finding a way to get it down. I worked out the number of words needed per day and treated it as a mini-project. There is always a question of what to include and what to leave out.” David spent 14 years at Computacenter, a national chain of IT and Software Suppliers, initially as National Service Manager, later acquiring additional responsibility for training and development. When looking for ways to enhance the training experience, he discovered NLP and began designing training programmes using it. “I was looking at leadership and management with the intention of giving those training programs a new lease of life and making them more popular and well attended. It was in the early days of using NLP in a real business context. I could see that the biggest use of NLP would be in one-to-one coaching and we started to do more of that.” On leaving Computacenter, David spent a few years developing a consultancy business before starting
48 | Spring 2011 - rapport
I could see that the biggest use of NLP would be in one-to-one coaching and we started to do more of that Quadrant 1. Meanwhile, Pat was developing her career in the high velocity world of fashion retailing. She worked in Merchandising for Jaeger and River Island before leaving to set up her own training business. “I was training here in the UK and abroad in Europe and the USA, not using NLP but learning about it from various mentors. I met David when he
was in the audience for a presentation I was giving. A mutual friend introduced us. David encouraged me to learn NLP and I worked through the levels to become an NLP trainer.” Quadrant 1 began as “a loose gang of consultants”, Pat tells me. “We decided that we wanted to grow it as a business and needed focus, good products and a market to do that. We were able to use our business experience to focus on the reality of situations that arise in business. We began to contextualise NLP for the business market.” In a busy working life, writing books is simply part of the schedule. “We try to allocate blocks of time to writing but the needs of customers come first”, David tells me. “We have an abundance of material that comes from training courses and consulting clients. Books start with a kinaesthetic process. We have a big wall and put coloured post it notes on it with ideas. We will spend a couple of weeks coming back to it, rearranging, adding and removing. When we have decided on the material, we structure it and agree chapter headings. For joint books, we then agree who is going to write each chapter. In writing, we attend to the auditory needs - pacing and leading the audience through the words we use.” A key factor in the books is that they are pragmatic and that all the stories are real, Pat assures me. “We see lots of ways that people find of limiting their potential, so practical examples are never a problem. We select the stories carefully to make sure that the reader has a variety of experiences with which they
AUTHOR INTERVIEW
When looking for ways to enhance the training experience, he discovered NLP and began designing training programmes using it can relate. We remove the jargon and relate it to personal experiences. We change the names because confidentiality is a big value at Quadrant 1. There are no cameras in our training room because business clients need it to be confidential. If the stories are in any way identifiable, we always ask permission.” For David’s first book, four people gave feedback during the process of writing the book. David was left alone to deliver the manuscript. “Over the years since that first book, Pearson Education has provided much more support for authors, including a style guide, support and coaching on style and content and feedback through an editor usually attached to the project throughout.” For the joint books, Pat’s chapters go to David for edit and feedback. David’s chapters go to Pat. They are both very aware that, compared to training or consulting, feedback is less dynamic. “In training, we are working with real people and developing real relationships that develop and provide instant feedback on how our words are being understood and received.” With each book, has come more writing experience and enjoyment. “I find it quite relaxing,” David says, “and the act of writing is quite therapeutic. You need to be enthusiastic about the subject and have to be excited about writing it down. The excitement will then come across on the page.” Online feedback can sometimes be quite negative. “You need to ask, is this real feedback or has someone asked for this? It can be useful but you need to retain perspective and remember that there is not a lot you can do about it. For us, the best feedback is where we run a program and people come to us because they have read the book. It is about results. We recognise that we need to constantly improve how we connect with our readership to be more relevant and more respectful to them. Linkedin is a good place for feedback – it tends to be more considered and genuine.” NLP has a credible, creative set of tools to release potential, enhance creativity and spark innovation. David suggests, “We have a real message about business and NLP to share. Our books are part of that,
telling people that NLP is being used by organisations to get amazing results and that you can have that too.” In the current economic cycle, David adds “Listening to the news and the gloomy outlook can become a self fulfilling limiting belief. As a business, we never had more growth than in the first credit crunch. Watching TV and listening to the radio can make businesses insecure and cause them to clamp down on major effort. Actually a lot of that is in the way it is being reported. People don’t have to think that way or be influenced by it. People who continue to see opportunities and are most resilient will survive and grow. It is a matter of perspective.” Pat adds, “One of our clients, working with us on NLP for Sales using the same concepts as in How to sell with NLP, is 18% up and he attributes much of that to NLP. Especially in sales, it is important to learn to engage with people who are maybe a little bit different from us. It is very easy to just sell to people who are like us.” The books are one method of connecting with people. People get in touch having picked up the book at an airport or in the high street. “You can learn some things from books – try the techniques or the exercises and get great results. We ensure we simplify and make sure exercises are easy to follow – lots of people have tried techniques in the book. If people want more from NLP, then they can make contact to find out more. Some of the books have been translated into 15 different languages and all are widely distributed, so we get enquiries from all over – New Zealand, Africa, Europe, the Middle East.” Writing is now a continuing process. David and Pat are working on updates of successful titles whilst developing new ideas as well. “We want Quadrant1 to be a credible place for business people to learn NLP amongst like-minded business professionals. We are inspired by the things people do with the knowledge they gain and the practical results they get. We are focused on achievement whilst recognising that learning has to be fun. Our books are integral to that.”
Books by David and Pat How to be Confident with NLP 2nd Edition David Molden, Pat Hutchinson (Feb 2011) - ISBN13: 9780273745310 How to Manage with NLP - 3rd Edition David Molden (Jan 2011) - ISBN13: 9780273745662 Brilliant NLP Workbook David Molden, Pat Hutchinson (Oct 2010) - ISBN13: 9780273737438 How to sell with NLP Pat Hutchinson (Sep 2010) - ISBN13: 9780273735427 Brilliant NLP - 2nd Edition David Molden, Pat Hutchinson (Mar 2010) - ISBN13: 9780273732556 NLP Business Masterclass - 2nd Edition David Molden (May 2007) - ISBN13: 9780273707905 Managing with the Power of NLP 2nd Edition David Molden (Jan 2007) - ISBN13: 9780273707912 Beat Your Goals - The Definitive Guide to Personal Success David Molden, Denise Parker (Apr 2002) - ISBN13: 9780273656708 Realigning for Change David Molden, Jon Symes (Nov 1998) - ISBN13: 9780273633815
Quadrant 1 at www.quadrant1.com
rapport - Spring 2011
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ANLP NEWS ANLP awarded Social Enterprise Mark
A
NLP has been awarded the Social Enterprise Mark, which identifies them as trading for social and environmental purposes. The Social Enterprise Mark is the brand for social enterprises and was launched 1st February, 2010. The Mark identifies businesses which meet defined criteria for social enterprise, and consumers will recognise that businesses displaying the Mark are trading to benefit people and planet. ANLP joins other ethical businesses that have been
recognised by being awarded the Mark such as the Age UK, Eden Project, Big Issue, the Phone Coop and the Co-operative Group. Government data estimates that there are 62,000 social enterprises across the UK, contributing £24 billion to the economy and employing around 800,000 people. Social enterprises are working to make a difference across the UK and beyond, but not enough people know what they are or how they work. The Social Enterprise Mark aims to raise awareness of what
social enterprises do in order to get more people to buy from, engage with, start up and work for social enterprises. Karen Moxom, Managing Director said “We’re really proud to have been awarded the Social Enterprise Mark. ANLP is absolutely committed to supporting sustainable businesses and consequently helping the NLP Community to thrive and prosper”. Lucy Findlay, Managing Director, Social Enterprise Mark Company,
The Webinars are coming...
A
s part of the service to members, ANLP is launching a series of informative webinars and interviews, some of which will be freely available to the public, others will be accessible by members only and will be available for purchase by non members. Just imagine how much this could raise your credibility and profile, to be one of the members interviewed or providing information on NLP applications within your professional niche. You would also be given a link to your interview, so that
you can include this on your own website. As long as you have a computer with internet access, you will be able to take part, because these webinars will be put together using the power of the internet... so you won’t actually have to leave your desk! How can you get involved? It’s easy – simply register your interest by emailing Claire at members@anlp.org. Please include details about the NLP topic you would like to present in a webinar and your intended target audience ie Members or Public.
Innovation and Development in the Training Field. Trainers Training with a Difference. In the 4th Year of the UK’s First University-Recognised NLP Trainers’ Training, we’re taking another step forward.
advised: “We are delighted to award the prestigious Social Enterprise Mark to ANLP. Social enterprises come in all shapes and forms so it's great to see a vital community interest company understanding the importance of being part of the wider social enterprise brand”
NLP Conference booking open
B
ooking is now open for the next NLP Conference, which is taking place at the Britannia Hotel, London Docklands on Friday 18th Sunday 20th November 2011. NLP’s ‘third man’, Frank Pucelik, featured on page 10, is running this year’s pre conference workshop.
The 4th year of a Ground-breaking Trainers’ Training Credits towards a coaching-based Masters Degree
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This innovative training course is for those of you who want to become a Certified Trainer of either: • NLP • Accredited Coaches • Psychotherapists
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You will learn the core training aspects common to all excellent trainers, as well as specific aspects for your relevant specialism. “I absolutely made the right decision choosing this programme; it does exactly what it says on the box and much, much more. A truly transformational experience. Thank you.” - Ranjit Sidhu, Certified Trainer of NLP.
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50 | Spring 2011 - rapport
NLP/Coaching/Psychotherapy Trainers Training: 25 July to 7 August 2011. £2,700 plus VAT. Early booking discounts available.
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To buy or subscribe visit www.anlp.org or call 020 3051 6740
REGIONAL GROUPS
RAPPORT NETWORKING CONTACT Practice Group of the month: Southsea NLP Practice Group Free, friendly, open to all We only started meeting in June so our group is still in its infancy. Our first meeting was spent deciding what sort of group we would be, and how often we would meet. (I produced a sheet to get our discussion going; just email me if you’d like a copy)
Joe Isaac - joebythesea@hotmail.com - Tel: 023 92 733920
England - North Bradford, West Yorkshire Rita or Kevin Tel: 07796 954369 E: rita.firstposition@blueyonder.co.uk
We put publicity on NLP Forum sites on line and ANLP, flyers at local training venues and Barry from the group set up a Facebook page. There were 5 at the first meeting; we now have 11 members with numbers gradually growing. Our meetings are free and are held on the last Monday of the month, except for Bank Holidays. We are a mixed group, open to anyone from Master Practitioner to just ‘very interested’. We meet at 7.30pm in the top floor
North Yorkshire Practice Group Rebecca Wake T: 01642 714702 E: rebecca@awakenconsulting.co.uk www.awakenconsulting.co.uk
Harrogate Achievers Club Sonia Marie Saxton Tel: 0845 257 0036 E: smesaxton@saxtonpartners.co.uk
North West & North Wales (Chester) Gary Plunkett T: 08707 570 292 E: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk E: nlp4fun@aol.com
Harrogate Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard T: 01326 212 959 E: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com
Warrington Tiffany Kay T: 0845 833 8831 E: tiffany@go-beyond-nlp.co.uk www.WarringtonNLP.co.uk
Lancs - Nr Clitheroe Dawn Haworth T: 01254 824 504 E: admin@nlpand.co.uk www.nlpand.co.uk
York Philip Callaghan T: 01904 636 216 E: info@bronze-dragon.com www.bronze-dragon.com/nlp_group.shtml
Leeds - West Yorkshire Liz Tolchard T: 01943 873 895 M: 07909 911 769 E: liztolchard@live.com
England - South
Manchester Business NLP and Emotional Intelligence Group Andy Smith T: 0845 83 855 83 E: andy@practicaleq.com www.manchesternlp.co.uk Manchester NLP Group Gary Plunkett T: 08707 570292 E: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk E: nwnlpgroups@aol.com Manchester, Stockport, High Peak Sandie Shaw or Chris Delaney T: 07985 284 914 E: nlppracticegroup@googlemail.com Newcastle Upon Tyne Philip Brown T: 0191 456 3930 M: 0777 228 1035 North Yorkshire Alan Johnson T: 01609 778 543 www.nlpnorthallerton.co.uk
Bedfordshire Melody and Joe Cheal T: 01767 640956 E: info@gwiztrainig.com www.gwiztraining.com Berkshire NLP Group Balbir Chagger M: 07944 931 437 E: berkshirenlpgroup@googlemail.com www.lifestorytherapeuticcentre.com/NLP. aspx Croydon Michael Carroll T: 020 8686 9952 E: info@realnlp.co.uk www.nlpacademy.co.uk Hants - NLP South Nigel Heath T: 01794 390 651 E: heatherapy@aol.com www.nlp-south.org.uk Hertfordshire - Hemel Hempstead Ross Hammond 07540 371066 ross.hammo@ntlworld.com www.rosshammondcoaching.com Hertfordshire - Letchwoth James Rolph T: 01462 674411 E: james@resource-ecologies.co.uk
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pub room at the ‘Wine Vaults’ on Albert Road in Southsea which has a relaxed atmosphere. We are a friendly and informal group and aim to share skills and mix practice with discussion and networking to support our knowledge, expertise and integration of NLP skills. We have a list of topics we’d like to focus on which we all add to. New members are very welcome!
Kent & East Sussex NLP Group Beverley Hamilton T: 01892 511231 E: beverley.hamilton@uwclub.net
North London NLP / Tom MacKay T: 07815 879 055 E: tom@mackaysolutions.co.uk www.northlondonnlp.co.uk
London - Hampstead / Najma Zaman T: 020 8926 1297 m: 07950477318 E: firstpath@btinternet.com
Oxford / Nick King M: 0780 253 4150 E: info@oxfordnlpgroup.org.uk www.oxfordnlpgroup.org.uk
London - Central PPD Learning Judith Lowe T: 0870 7744 321 E: info@ppdlearning.co.uk www.ppdlearning.co.uk/community/ our-practice-group
Sandwich, Kent Lindsey Agness or Zoe Young T: (Lindsey) 01304 621735 M:(Lindsey) 07711 036 192 M: (Zoe) 07932 371 164 E: zoej66@btinternet.com
London - Central (Business) Mark Underwood T: 020 7249 7472
South East London & City Simon Hedley T: 07930 275 223 E: londonpractice@psithinking.co.uk www.psithinking.co.uk/londonnlp practicegroup.htm www.nlpswap.com/
London (Central) Robert Ford T: 08453 962842 M: 07976 715234 E: livinglifenlp@orange.net London - Central/North Practitioners and above only Jeremy Lazarus T: 020 8349 2929 E: Jeremy@thelazarus.com www.thelazarus.com London The Performance Partnership David Shephard T: 020 8992 9523 E: info@performancepartnership.com www.performancepartnership.com London - Ladbroke Grove / Nina Madden 07906 255 529 E: mail@ninamadden.com www.ninamadden.com London NLP & Hypnosis Practice Group Phillip Holt T: 08451 306213 M: 07061 003 003 E: enquiries@nlp-london.com www.nlp-london.com London West - Richmond NLP Group Henrietta Laitt T: 0208 874 8203 M: 07880 614 040 E: henrietta@richmondnlpgroup.org.uk www.richmondnlpgroup.org.uk
Sussex - Brighton Association of NLP Practitioners / Terry Elston T: 0800 074 6425 E: enquiries@nlpworld.co.uk www.nlpworld.co.uk www.nlp-brighton-assoc.org Sussex - Brighton NLP Group Viv Craske M: 07939 134 274 E: mail@brightonnlpgroup.org www.brightonnlpgroup.org Sussex - Chichester Roger and Emily Terry T: 01243 792 122 M: 07810 876 210 E: info@evolutiontraining.co.uk www.evolutiontraining.co.uk Sussex - Worthing E: jim@espconsultancy.co.uk Ware / David Key T: +44 (0)845 434 0149 E: enquiries@auspicium.co.uk www.auspicium.co.uk West Sussex - Chichester Andrew T. Austin E: andrew@23nlpeople.com www.nlpstudygroup.com
England - East Cambridgeshire Phil Jones T: 07711 711 123 E: phil@excitant.co.uk www.cambsnlp.co.uk Colchester NLP Group Julian Campbell T: 01473 410521 M: 07710 781782 E: nlp@lifechangingtherapies.co.uk www.lifechangingtherapies.co.uk/colnlp. html Essex - Southend Pauline Oliver T: 01702 203465 Norfolk NLP Practice Group Stephen Ferrey T: 01603 211 961 E: info@motivational-coaching.co.uk www.motivational-coaching.co.uk Ipswich Steve Marsden T: 07889 751578 E: steve_marsden@btopenworld.com Redbridge - Ilford Glenda Yearwood T: 0208 708 3876 E: glenda.yearwood@redbridge.gov.uk www.redbridge.gov.uk
England - West Bath NLP North East Somerset Philippe Roy T: 01225 404 050 E: pr@in-focus.org www.bathnlp.co.uk Bath NLP Skills Builder Ben Reeve T: 01823 334 080 E: benjamino_32@hotmail.com www.idevelop.co.uk Bournemouth John Chisholm and Michelle Fischer T: 01202 424250 E:info@creative-leadership.co.uk Bristol David Griffiths T: 01179 423 310 E: david@metamorphosis.me.uk Bristol Karen Meager T: 01749 687 102 E: karen@monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk www.monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk Cornwall Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard T: 01326 212 959 E: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com
Cornwall (West) Robert Ford T: 08453 962842 M: 07976 715234 E: livinglifenlp@orange.net Devon NLP Practice Group Jane Stubberfield T: 01392 841153 M: 07887 744299 E: jane@jsa-development.co.uk www.jsa-development.co.uk Devon - South-West (totnes) NLP Support Group Alice Llewellyn & Anna Scott-Heyward T: 01803 866706/01803 323885 Devon - Torquay Chris Williams T: 0781 354 9073 Devon & Cornwall NLP Practice Group Nick Evans T: 01392 811 772 M: 07832 357 208 E: nick@nlp-southwest.co.uk www.nlp-southwest.co.uk/ WordPress/?p=72# more-72 Dorset John Chisholm or Brian Morton T: 01202 42 42 50 E: john@creative-leadership.co.uk E: bmhrd@btinternet.com www.nlpdorset.co.uk Portsmouth and Southsea (Hants) Joe Isaac T: 023 92 733920 or 07968 730769 E: joebythesea@hotmail.com Swindon, West Country Tony Nutley T:01793 554834 E: info@ukcpd.net www.ukcpd.net West Somerset Caitlin Collins T: 01643 841310 E: info@naturalmindmagic.com Wiltshire Clare Smale T: 07977 362787 E:whitehorsenlp@btconnect.com www.whitehorsenlp.com Worcestershire and Gloucestershire Practice Group Kim Phillips T: 01386 861916 E: kimmphillips@hotmail.com
England - Midlands Birmingham Mark Taylor T: 07974 562830 E: info@opt2xl.co.uk www.opt2xl.co.uk
Birmingham (flexible locations and to suit members) Mandy Ward T: 0121 625 7193 M: 07740 075669 E: mandy.ward3@virgin.net www.cassykindly.co.uk The Derby NLP Practice Group Karl Walkinshaw T: 07971 654 440 E: karl@k-d-w.co.uk East Midlands NLP Group Rupert Meese T: 0115 8226302 E: rupert.meese@lightmind.co.uk www.lightmind.co.uk/EMNLP Northants - Northampton Ron Sheffield T: 01604 812800 E: ron.sheffield@btinternet.com www.nlpgroups.org Nottingham - West Bridgford Karen Shaw T: 01159 818 228 E: karen@innercommunications.com www.innercommunications.com Walsall/Birmingham Richard Pearce T: 07760 175589 E: richard@kochin.co.uk West Midlands - Worcestershire Jennie Barnes T:0886 884 022 E: jennie@barnes1835.fsbusiness.co.uk
Scotland
Glasgow Mina McGuigan T: 01236 610 949 M: 07886859942 E: mina.mcguigan@googlemail.com www.nlpacademyscotland.co.uk Glasgow Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence T: 01316 647 854 M: 07710 332 841 E: msnlp@btconnect.com Glasgow - NLP in Education Jeff Goodwin T: 0870 060 1549/0141 248 6484 E: jeff@nlpscotland.com www.nlpscotland.com Inverness - (Highland) Rosie O’Hara T: 01309 676004 E: info@nlphighland.co.uk, www.nlphighland.co.uk
Wales Cardiff James Angove E: angove@ntlworld.com www.cardiffnlp.co.uk
Aberdeen Rosie O’Hara M: 07796 134081 E: info@nlphighland.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk
Shropshire & Mid Wales Practice Group Nick Greer T: 01743 361133 E: nlpgroup@nickgreer.com www.nickgreer.com
Bridge of Allan, Stirling John McLachlan T: 07803 127 384 E: john@monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk www.monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk
International
Edinburgh Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence T: 0131 664 7854 E: msnlp@btconnect.com Edinburgh NLP Practice Group Patrick Wheatley & Sheena Wheatley T: 0131 664 4344 M: 07765244030/ E: wheatley.co@btconnect.com E: sheena@changingperceptions.org.uk www.changingperceptions.org.uk
Brussels, Belgium Gerard Murray T: +32 476 417 606 E: gerry.murray@widecircle.eu www.meetup.com/NLP-in-Brussels/ Chicago, USA B Groth T:(312) 751-2600 E: vakog@live.com www.meetup.com/NLP-Chicago India Charles Saldanha T: +91 (0) 9850 685510 E: charles@classnlp.com www.classnlp.com
Forres/Elgin NLP Practice Group (North of Scotland) Rosie O’ Hara T: 01309 676004 E: info@nlphighland.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk
Practice Groups meet regularly and give you the chance to share experiences with like minded individuals and fellow professionals. They also offer you the opportunity to further your knowledge and add to your Continual Professional Development (CPD) through informed lectures and workshops. For further information on the Practice Groups listed, please log on to our website, www.anlp.org If you would like to add your Practice Group to this list or change existing details, please contact us on 020 3051 6740 or email members@anlp.org rapport - Spring 2011
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ENDNOTE
The duty of care in provocative work and use of the term “Provocative” By Nick Kemp
F
rank Farrelly created Provocative Therapy in 1963, a decade before the emergence of NLP. Provocative Therapy is still relatively new to most talk therapists and many NLP practitioners and trainers are unaware that “provocative” does not mean “aggressive” when interacting with clients. Provocative comes from the Latin “pro vocare” which means “to call forth” or stimulate change in client behaviour. This approach requires a great deal of skill, training and awareness on behalf of the therapist. There are no certifications in Provocative Therapy and training requires real application and skill. Throwing items at a client or aggravating a client to the extent that they want to punch the therapist is a very far cry from the sophistication of Farrelly’s work that has been admired by many other therapists and thinkers including Spurgeon English and Carl Whittaker. Anyone claiming “to be inspired” by Farrelly’s work and behaving in this manner’ in my view totally www.nickkemp.com
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misses the true heart of the provocative approach which is a real shame for both themselves and their clients. Frank also has very little time for such types who choose to bluntly respond in this attention seeking manner rather than communicating “with a twinkle in the eye and as if talking to an old and valued friend” Since 2004 I have been fortunate enough to have spent hundreds of hours in person with him as well as co presenting his work in the UK and creating the official archive for his work. I have the original hand written transcript for his original book of the same name and I remain amazed at how he has refined and developed his work over many decades. I have made sure that there is also for the first time DVD footage of Frank working in recent times. This material has been released for serious therapists interested in provocative style work and these DVDs show what cannot be grasped purely from written text. I have just completed four workshops and a television
appearance in India with Andrew T Austin. One of the main subjects discussed during our visit to psychotherapy clinics for these presentations was this issue of proper professional duty of care towards clients and the unfortunate emergence of what I call “Frankenstein type approaches” in recent times. Dr Frankenstein of course created a monster from a combination of different human parts with disastrous results. These Frankenstein approaches are created when a therapist takes a few established well known therapeutic approaches and provides his “instant mix solution” which is now proclaimed as groundbreaking new work and the author declared “a genius” by other supposed “geniuses” who have often written similar ill conceived work. The Frankenstein approach is not the same as those therapists who seek to create new models for therapy rather than a loose collection of ideas like so many poorly written self published e books that are available online these days. The many pitfalls
of such thinking are obvious to those who read such material. The emergence of Frankenstein approaches is also appearing in Clean Language and is a longstanding tradition in NLP, which is one of the reasons why many professions still don’t take the field of NLP seriously. With that in mind, I set up The Association for Provocative Therapy (AFPT) a number of years ago with Frank Farrelly’s endorsement to ensure that Provocative Therapy continues to be represented in an ethical and professional manner where the therapist behaves responsibility with clients. Only a fool would mistake aggression as a tool for producing useful therapeutic change. Frank Farrelly is eighty years old this year and still teaching across the globe. Both I and many professional therapists are keen that his work is not confused with Frankenstein camp followers. It’s crucial to us that genuine warmth and spirit of professional Provocative work preserved for those who value true study and professional standards in therapeutic change.
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