THE MAGAZINE FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
20 SUMMER 2010
Persuasion The art of Business Success Ross Jeffries Meditation, mindfulness & seduction
Energetic NLP for Health & Healing COACHING MODELS don't work
What is your greatest learning from applying NLP?
Lynnette Allen
NLP in
BUSINESS & in
LIFE
AVAILABLE BY SUBSCRIPTION £3.50 WHERE SOLD
Contents
INSIDE ISSUE 20
4 8 9
NLP
The Big Question
Basic NLP
Learning from Mistakes
Professional Development
I Keep Seeing You Everywhere, At Last
10 NLP
Ross Jeffries
12 ANLP News 14 NLP
Sensory Awareness and its Role in Time Travel
18 Lifestyle
How to Avoid Email Miscommunication
20 Education
Learning to Inspire
22 Debate
NLP Speak
24 Celebrity
Jericho Sunfire
26 Coaching
Coaching Models Don't Work
28 Health
Cover Stories
SUMMER 2010
48
32 NLP NLP and the
24
Art of Deciding
36 NLP
Beyond Words. The Deeper Language of Leadership
38 Business
Persuasion. The Art of Business Success
40 Research NLP and Education
Research Report
42 Training & Workshops
28
18
BeeLeaf
44 Diary 47 Book Reviews 48 Author Interview
Lynnette Allen
50 ANLP
Going Logo
26
52 Regional Groups 54 Endnote
Which Message is True?
Energetic NLP for Health and Healing
10 Welcome to the Summer issue of Rapport. We have another bumper issue for you this month. I was delighted when Eve secured an interview with Lynnette Allen (p48). I read her first book, “Behind with the Laundry and Living off Chocolate” when it was first published (and because I was!), and I remember being struck by her pragmatic approach to coaching. That same pragmatic attitude seems to be one adopted by Bill Docherty MBE, who successfully applies his NLP principles to his business, as well as his charity and community work, and is certainly an inspiration to others (p38). Our BIG question this issue has also unearthed some inspiring answers, and reading these has served as a great reminder for me about my learnings from applying NLP (p4). For me, the greatest impact from NLP is when it can be applied on a practical level and be used to change or improve any situation.
Publisher - Karen Moxom
And whilst I love the practical applications of NLP, I too have been caught out by Email Miscommunication in the
Editorial Team: Caitlin Collins, Andy Coote, Eve Menezes Cunningham admin@anlp.org, 020 3051 6740 Art Editor: Enzo Zanelli Advertising: Nicola Andrews advertising@anlp.org, 020 3384 3217
past (p18). Yes, I am one of the 32% of people who has forwarded an email to the wrong person, with interesting consequences! I also enjoyed David Molden’s refreshing article about Coaching Models, reminding us that coaching is about far more than simply applying models, it is also about the skills and perhaps elegance used when applying these models (p26). I guess this is a reminder that flexibility is key? I will be getting Robbie’s book “Brilliant Decision Making”, which breaks down the NLP principles and neurological research that underpins good 9and bad) decisions (p32). I’m sure many of us have made some big decisions over the years, and a deeper insight into this art is most welcome. Talking of big decisions, by the time you read this, we will have moved to our new office, so please make a note of our new address (see page 12). Until next time
Karen
Membership, subscriptions and back issues: Lala Ali Khan members@anlp.org, 020 3051 6740 Publisher: Karen Moxom vision@anlp.org 020 3051 6740 Company Reg No. 05390486 Phoenix Publishing Ltd Room 11, Apsley Mills Cottage, London Road, Hemel Hempstead, Herts, HP3 9RL.
Rapport published by Phoenix Publishing on behalf of ANLP. www.anlp.org Design: Square Eye Design
DISCLAIMER The views within this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, nor does the publisher endorse the products or services promoted in the magazine. Articles are for information only and intent is to inform. Readers should seek professional advice before adopting any suggestions or purchasing any products herein.
THE BIG QUESTION
THE BIG
QUESTION
What is your greatest learning from applying NLP? For the Summer edition of Rapport we asked you for your answers to the question ‘What is your greatest learning from applying NLP?’ Here are your edited answers.
Rapport is the key to all interaction and effective persuasion. The main learning I have from NLP is how to elicit rapport without the other person necessarily knowing that they are in rapport with me. Mirroring is the best way to gain rapport and this can be done unconsciously too. Neil Trigger, Netshine, ntrigger@net-shine.com NLP is not therapy, it's education for your brain”Richard Bandler, and for me it's about being able to create new perspectives quickly which leads to greater choices, it's not about the big techniques it’s about the everyday application of the “basics” which makes life easier, more fun and everyday's a school-day! Andy Duffy, www.lincolnnlp.co.uk My greatest learning from NLP is that I have choices about how I lead my life, and if I choose to take responsibility for whatever I create in my life, magic happens! NLP enabled me to step out of the ‘Grey Zone’ and start moving towards the ‘Brilliant Zone’. Lindsey Agness, Developing Leaders not followers, lindsey@thechangecorporation.com
4 | Summer 2010 - rapport
Rapport is the key to all interaction and effective persuasion Those who are successful in their own right, didn’t get there overnight and what they did was to learn from what didn’t work the first time and keep going until they got it right. If there is one message to share about the power of NLP it is that this model gives us a fantastic vehicle to be able to do all of these things which, as well as skills and abilities, create the “real and true” building blocks and foundations to personal success. Claire Louise Hegarty, The Chester Clinic of Complementary Medicine info@tranceformations-pbe.com My biggest learning has been to trust the process and, more importantly, to trust myself. Having many powerful techniques is great, and it used to be a little overwhelming. When I am working at my best, with the right intention for the client, the perfect one always presents itself. Mindy Gibbins-Klein, Founder of The Book Midwife, Co-Founder and Director of Ecademy Press. mindy@bookmidwife.com
The most important, useful and life changing learning I have had from NLP is state management. State is key to every response and behaviour and having the ability to change state and become resourceful is the most effective way to a successful outcome in any situation whilst remaining congruent. Martin Crump, Evolution Development, info@evolution-development.com I am repeatedly amazed by the depths of one’s memory that can be accessed and then utilised to find the reasons for and the solution to problems from within. Fraser Murray, Managing Director, Rock The Boat Consulting fraser@rocktheboat consulting.com That everything that happens, good or bad, is a potential lesson. Whatever challenges I encounter, I can ask "What do I need to learn from this?" Also that, always in principle and usually in practice (I like to give my unconscious mind some leeway!), I can control my own state. Andy Smith, Coaching Leaders, andy@coachingleaders.co.uk
THE BIG QUESTION
My greatest learning from applying NLP is to have the courage to freely embrace the state of unknowing; to acknowledge that often what a client presents me with is an opportunity to learn more; and that NLP is not about learning a set of clever techniques – it’s about people. Pat Mason, Shen-Dao Therapies, pat@shen-dao.com Applying NLP has taught me that it is where a person puts their attention - past present future, internal external, in different states and in different people's perspectives - that enables them to move from being stuck to being in control. It is a privilege to witness. Come and enjoy! Gitti Coats, gitti@talktalk.net There’s a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson that I read when I first got into NLP. "To know even one life has breathed easier because you lived - this is to have succeeded." If I can do the same to others by using NLP that’s the greatest learning I could have. Tim Atyeo, timatyeo.129@btinternet.com My greatest learning is to simply apply your NLP. So regardless of the number of books you read or courses you attend, use the amazing tools you have. Change and blend your approach to suit your needs and above all remember to have fun with it. Gareth Harris, Positive Doing, gareth@positivedoing.com My journey with NLP started about 5 years ago, I am delighted to say it is still growing and getting more powerful. NLP has transformed my mind and life. I now think, behave and speak in powerful ways and I have just had my first book Discover 8 Secrets to Living an Amazing Life published. Mary Dempsey, Confidence Consulting, mary.dempsey1@btinternet.com
To bring about change in life there must be a shift. We know the same patterns bring the same results. A small change in thinking will bring immense benefit in refining and producing options in your life. The view will always be improved when you have alternatives. Paul E Round, NLP Practitioner and Life Mentor, paul@lifeinmind.co.uk My greatest learning is a very simple one: change your thinking; change your circumstances. People do make the impossible, possible...and that's why we must continue to share NLP Jeff Weigh, jeff.weigh@virgin.net We have so many unconscious strategies, which we unintentionally use to sabotage our potential, and we can change these not only to achieve our own potential but also help others to achieve theirs. This must give us the best job in the world. Ian McGregor, Peak Change Limited, ian@peakchange.co.uk
trust the process and trust myself That liberating realization that in every situation, from each client, student and teacher; there is so much to learn and just how myriad the possibilities are . Applied NLP shows the error in assuming anything is universally right / wrong, it's just about how useful is it now and for this person. Reb Veale, Director, Reveal Solutions, Email: reb@revealsolutions.co.uk
really step into their model of the world and work with that rather than being the expert Learning to let go of the past, see things differently, communicate with myself and others easily and be happy now in the moment. NLP helped turn my life from a constant stream of stressful, unfulfilling hamster wheel life experience, to the rewarding, joyful, peaceful, loving life of service I now experience every moment of my life, which continues to grow and become deeper daily. Joylina Goodings, joylina@joylina.com My greatest learning is that NLP can be applied to any human endeavour. Since 1982, I’ve applied it to a long list of endeavours ranging from IT in France, to Rabbis’ counselling in Israel, to accelerating language learning in Turkey, to leadership skills for UK Vets, the list can go on.... and will! It’s endless fun and a great way of travelling the world free! Robert Smith MBA, Professor Refuah Institute Jerusalem, ANLP International Ambassador, robert@treaclenlptraining.co.uk My biggest learning is that it’s not the techniques of NLP that really work; it’s the person and their intention behind them. The invisible element of desire and intention are the attitudes that make every technique work! Terry Elston, NLP World Director terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk
rapport - Summer 2010
| 5
THE BIG QUESTION
‘What is your greatest learning from applying NLP?’ For me it’s the presupposition ‘Respect other maps of the world’. I find it so powerful when working with individuals and businesses to really step into their model of the world and work with that rather than being ‘the expert’. This way I achieve faster and more effective results for my clients. Karen Meager, karen@monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk
Applying NLP to, and for, myself, gave me the greatest gift of all; Learning. When we are open, present and curious, learning happens. Learning NLP opened my mind to this possibility. I learnt that change is the natural course of becoming a mature human-of-being. I AM, when I am learning! Grahame Morgan-Watson, MetaMe, gmw@metame.biz
To know even one life has breathed easier because you lived - this is to have succeeded. Ralph Waldo Emerson
My greatest learning from applying NLP is never to expect all to go by the book, everyone is different. Sometimes NLP is like a tool kit we use when we practice our craft, such as Counselling, Therapy or Communication Skills. You wouldn’t use a spanner when you need a hammer to tap with. Paul Jenkin, Practitioner of Hypnosis and NLP, minescape@freeuk.com
My greatest learning from NLP is that when you remove self-limiting beliefs about yourself or anything you do and trust the process it is possible to achieve extraordinary results. The belief that there is no failure only feedback allows the freedom to try anything you want and continue to learn from it and it empowers you to take action enabling you to evolve as a better person making a great impact on your life. Michael Spence, Michael Spence NLP Ltd, msnlp@btconnect.com
It was a sunny afternoon as I attended Practitioner Training. We were practicing coaching. One of the trainers briefly watched our exercise and asked: “What do we know about the benefits of the current state?” Thank you Ian Ross. So many clients have benefitted from this question over the years. Allan Smith, allan@mx9.org
change your thinking; change your circumstances
NLP is not about learning a set of clever techniques it’s about people Having studied NLP since 1991 I have had many great learnings. Here’s one that goes with me always. People work perfectly and are not broken. When they’re not getting the results they desire, it may feel like something is broken…nothing needs fixing, their brain just needs guiding in the most appropriate direction. David Key, NLP Trainer & Instructor of Hypnosis, Auspicium Limited, david@auspicium.co.uk My greatest learning from applying NLP was that I can be in control of feeling states. How liberating that feels! And what a joy it is to share that with others! Joe Isaac, joebythesea@hotmail.com …and finally There's never a greatest learning as there's always even more to learn from the ability I have acquired using NLP to see more choices available to me in any situation and...I'm always in the right place at the right time in the right way to open them. Dr Emma Allende, emmaallende@gmail.com
I hope that you have enjoyed and found information and inspiration from these responses. Thanks to everyone who responded to this Big Question. The Big Question for the Autumn issue is: What is your dictionary definition of NLP? We will remind you through Facebook (ANLP page), Twitter (@ANLP) and, of course, the ANLP mailing list. Selected and edited by Andy Coote 6 | Summer 2010 - rapport
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BASIC NLP
INTRODUCING NLP
Outcomes 8: Learning from mistakes
U
nder the theme of setting outcomes, this series is exploring some of the basic concepts and techniques of NLP. The basic concepts are expressed in the ‘presuppositions’ of NLP, and one of the first presuppositions aspiring NLP practitioners learn is the one about reframing mistakes: There is no failure, only feedback. Fear of failing is instilled in most of us at an early age, with mixed consequences. If fear of failing to negotiate a sharp corner at high speed on a wet road induces an adult motorist to slow down it’s a blessing. But, perhaps less helpfully, fear of failing to win a contract / land a job / get a date can prevent someone from pitching for it at all. (I say ‘perhaps’ because, as we’ve discussed here in a previous column, identifying failure and success is a topic in itself: you may in fact be better off not getting the contract / job / date than you would have been if you’d got it!) If a healthy fear of failing is to be balanced by an equally healthy willingness to have a go, the ability to reframe our mistakes is crucial. NLP encourages us to see mistakes as learning opportunities – as we did as children, taking tumbles while learning to walk. Based on a process developed by Robert Dilts, the following exercise is a great method for reframing our mistakes and learning from them. (It isn’t recommended for anything that might bring up intensely painful memories as in traumas or phobias, which need a different approach.) LEARNING FROM EXPERIENCE Part One 1 Decide on the past event or significant episode in which things didn’t go the way you’d hoped. Remembering it may bring up uncomfortable feelings; bring in an attitude of open enquiry and willingness to learn so you can work with it now. 2 As you bring the incident to mind, imagine seeing it in front of you as though you were watching it happening on a screen, so you are dissociated from it, as an observer. Replay the incident several times, with yourself and any other people involved up on the screen in front of you, while you watch. Notice what you did, what others did, and what happened; and notice which aspects were under your control and which were not under your control. Caitlin Collins: www.naturalmindmagic.com
8 | Summer 2010 - rapport
3 Identify what you were trying to achieve in the episode; you may have had more than one aim. 4 The next step is to find out, in relation to those aspects that were under your control, what you could learn from the episode. Be open to the possibility of learning many things. As you continue to replay the incident on the screen, be attentive to how you acted, spoke and thought throughout the incident; notice how you responded during the incident as events unfolded, and become aware of any assumptions you’d made that were underlying your actions.
NLP encourages us to see mistakes as learning opportunities 5 Now consider how you would have liked the episode to have gone. What would have been different had it gone the way you had hoped for? With the benefit of hindsight, imagine different ways in which you could have acted that could have contributed to different outcomes. Experiment with various possibilities, up on the screen in front of you, to come up with some options that could bring about the result you had been trying to achieve. You can be creative here! Imagine consulting a wise mentor for suggestions as to what to try, and experiment with options that go beyond your ‘normal’ limitations! 6 When you find one that really works well, that you’re happy with, run it through again on the screen, watching how the incident unfolds differently now. 7 Now imagine that you can step into the movie, so you become associated into it, as a participant. Run through the scene again, this time participating in it, so you’re no longer watching it as an observer but you’re actually living it. Let the screen go blank at the end of the scene. 8 After blanking the screen, replay the desired scene again with you in it, reliving it. Replay it several times with you as a participant, reliving it, with the replays speeding up, faster and faster.
By Caitlin Collins
9 Whew! Come to a rest. Take in all the learnings you’ve gained as you let the screen dissolve. Part Two 1 As you relax after absorbing the learnings and dissolving the screen, recall a different occasion that went well for you, something you’re happy to remember. 2 Relive that incident again now, associated, so you’re in the scene, looking through your own eyes and enjoying those good feelings again. 3 Notice what you’re doing in that event that is contributing to the event going so well. What exactly are you doing? How are you being? What word or phrase comes up that encapsulates the experience for you? 4 Recall some other similarly delightful occasions from your past. Notice what they have in common in terms of what you’re doing and how you’re being. 5 Consider what you might learn from these events that you could apply now and in the future. Imagine yourself in your future, bringing these learnings into your future, and enjoying some imaginary occasion in the future in which you’re acting, thinking, feeling, being and experiencing in accordance with these learnings. Take a moment after completing this exercise to consider some implications of what you’ve learned. You’ll have noticed how quickly the exercise encouraged you to move on from what may have started out as an uncomfortable place – remembering a mistake you’d made – to a relaxing and enjoyable experience. NLP exercises are usually enjoyable, not just because it’s more fun that way, but because it’s easier to learn when we’re relaxed, happy, and open to our experience. It’s hard to function well in an environment of fear, attack and defence. This applies to our inner environment too: conflict resolution starts at home, with getting the parts of our own minds to work together harmoniously. An aggressive inner critic is a menace; learning to give ourselves constructive feedback is a valuable life skill. Think about how what you’ve discovered from this exercise could change the way you go about setting goals: maybe you’ll find yourself willing to go beyond your usual boundaries, perhaps aiming higher, or exploring new directions.
PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
I keep seeing you everywhere,
at last By Mindy Gibbins-Klein
I
keep seeing you everywhere. At least four people have said that to me this week alone. Whilst I could accuse them of generalising, I know what they mean. I even saw myself unexpectedly the other day, in a blog post. It’s a very strange experience to be in the middle of reading an article or blog and suddenly realise that the author is talking about you. I was pleased, of course, and it hit home to me once again how important it is to produce good writing, coupled with good PR, so people can spread the right messages about you. I have obviously done a lot of writing over the past ten years (hundreds of pieces), and I continue to do so. I have also made PR an integral part of my marketing strategy for many years. I sometimes wonder if it is worth paying that PR bill every month, when the results are not always obvious. And then I will get a great opportunity or coverage which makes it all worthwhile. Over the past couple of months, I have been featured in six professional blogs and magazines, interviewed by a U.S. journal and the subject of a full-page feature in the Independent on Sunday. It was so exciting and really felt like all this publicity finally seems to be working and… oh dear, this sounds like it’s all about me. Or is it? Are you feeling a little annoyed or jealous? If so, ask yourself what is at the heart of that feeling? If you feel you deserve more publicity and recognition for your great ideas and it’s not happening for you, keep reading. Did you ever hear the expression “It takes years to become an overnight success”? Well, I’m finding that to be true. I don’t
mass out there and eventually people do get the message!
I want to see you and your great content everywhere, and then I want to blog about you and tweet about you tend to be the most patient person, and early marketing efforts seemed to take so long to have any effect. In those early days, I thought I was doing a lot of marketing and nothing seemed to be happening. It is already quite challenging to compete in a crowded market like coaching, and a tiny marketing budget makes things even more interesting. So I did a lot of things that didn’t cost very much. Writing blogs, articles and even books does not take real money; it just takes a bit of time and strategy. Luckily I kept going, and over the years I have written hundreds of pieces, all around the same key themes. Eventually you do get a critical
As I mentioned, I see writing as a strategy. My preferred strategy contains four elements: Have a central theme or message for all of your material Think through a few relevant lower level messages that support the main theme Place those messages, through articles, blogs and books, into the right media If your content is good enough and sufficiently interesting, others will pick it up and run with it Marketing experts claim that it takes at least seven ‘touches’ or communications from you to pay any attention to what you are talking about. If that’s true, then we should aim to get those seven touches completed as soon as possible, so we can improve our business. That means writing lots of relevant articles and blogs, getting involved in others’ blogs and conversations in social media, and getting a bold and opinionated book into the market to give you true credibility. You won’t be able to control completely what people say about you, but you can influence it. Blogs and social media sites like Facebook, LinkedIn, Ecademy and Twitter make it easy for people to talk about you. So give them some good material. I want to see you and your great content everywhere, and then I want to blog about you and tweet about you.
Mindy Gibbins-Klein is the UK’s leading writing and publishing strategist, best known as founder of The Book Midwife and co-founder/director of Ecademy Press business publishing. Her mission is to create thousands of real thought leaders who will change business and society with their ideas. An international speaker, trainer and consultant with 20 years in marketing, training and coaching, and over 300 clients who have written and published excellent books and articles quickly using the Book Midwife methodology, Mindy writes and speaks to thousands of executives, business leaders and entrepreneurs each year about how to become a thought leader and turning expertise into enhanced credibility and more business. mindy@bookmidwife.com
rapport - Summer 2010
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NLP INTERVIEW
Find peace now, ask me how
Meditation, mindfulness, and seduction Speed Seduction creator Ross Jeffries talks to Judy Rees
R
oss Jeffries, the NLP enthusiast who created “Speed Seduction”, now admits his idea spawned a monster. The international Pick Up Artist (PUA) community sell NLP as a manipulative trick for getting women into bed, fast – and their business is booming. Particularly since 2005, when The Game by Neil Strauss’s exposed the PUA’s world of “lairs”, “wingmen” and “lay reports”, NLP and seduction have been inextricably linked by many people, particularly online. Seduction is the hottest topic in online NLP discussion forums: female NLPers typically regard PUA attitudes and behaviours as unpleasant, offensive or even dangerous. And yet for young men, a pick-up bootcamp is an increasingly common doorway to more mainstream NLP training. So what does the man who started the trend think about the outcome of his creation? Jeffries’ “Speed Seduction” predates the massmarket internet: his book How to Get the Women You Desire into Bed came out in 1992. Nowadays, around 40 different companies market pick-up products and training courses, and his former students are
among the leading lights in the PUA community. But Jeffries is very keen to distance himself from them. For example, he admits that his marketing materials can be offensive to women, but claims that he’s pacing the emotional reality of his potential clients, and will quickly move on, leading them into more helpful attitudes. His competitors, in contrast, make a policy of putting women down. “Their major theory is that most women only have sex to prove their worth and value to men, so if you invalidate women, make them feel valueless and put them down, their lack of self esteem will cause them to come into your bed. This is what I would call manipulation, because it's pushing down on people's pain buttons. I do not teach this. I want everyone reading this to be very clear, this is not what I am doing. “I think what they're doing is destructive.” Jeffries says his competitors often use deceptive – and potentially illegal - marketing techniques, as well as recycling and remarketing each others’ ideas and materials in ways that mislead their customers. Unlike him, he says, they treat the entire enterprise as no more than a money-making scheme. “If you go look at my competitors’ marketing it's stupid and offensive but once you get into the teaching, guess what? It's equally stupid and offensive. It's not suddenly when you open up the box you'll really find good stuff. My marketing can initially be offensive to get attention, but once I've gotten the attention I quickly get off that into the substance. Their stupidity is shot all the way through.” And he acknowledges that at least a few people in the seduction community go even further, into outright abuse. He details three specific behaviours which, he believes, amount to manipulation and exploitation. 1 Lying about facts. 2 Pushing down on people's ‘pain buttons’, using their emotions of fear, guilt, shame, abandonment etc. 3 Concealing an agenda, for example pretending you want to help someone with their homework when in reality you want to get into their bed. “Not anywhere do I advocate any of that. I never have and I never will,” he says. So, does he feel responsible for the seduction community? “That monster is out of control, I would love to see it destroyed,” he says. Because he doesn’t endorse his competitors or their products, he says he doesn’t feel intellectually responsible. But emotionally, it’s a different matter. “I feel angry and bad about it. I feel angry about what they're doing and how they've even ripped me off. They're ripping the consumer off as well as ripping me off.” And did he anticipate the worldwide movement? Apparently not. “I'd love to say: "Oh, I was a genius, I foresaw something called the internet would come along and social media..." No, I was just looking to take what changed my life and convey it in a
Seduction is the hottest topic in online NLP discussion forums
10 | Summer 2010 - rapport
NLP INTERVIEW
This is what I would call manipulation, because it's pushing down on people's pain buttons way where I could enjoy running a business that helps me help people and do what I love. I thought, ‘Wow, I could make a living doing what I love, changing lives, sharing something that absolutely, dramatically changed my life, so let's do it.’ I had no thought that there would be a community worldwide.” Training and coaching is what he loves. He’s spent 20 years working with hundreds of men. Many of them speak highly of him, and sometimes their ex-girlfriends even write in, seeking introductions to his other students! So what, exactly, does he teach, and how does it relate to NLP? “Here's the thing - why is it OK to use NLP to bust a phobia or to model the excellence of a basketball player but to use it in a way that gives men power and choice and selectivity to achieve what they want to achieve with women, why is that inherently necessarily a bad thing? “In teaching Speed Seduction, I point out to guys that a huge piece of getting good with women is they need to understand themselves, looking at where they’re defaulting into responses and filters that they haven't really chosen but have been imposed upon them by media, TV, books and also their own default bad habits. So really, as far as my style of doing things, to get good at seduction you have to get really good at personal transformation. “NLP is primarily a set of attention-direction filters, telling people what to ignore and what to pay attention to when they look to pattern and model excellence. The heart of it as I practice and teach it, is seeing process. Where other people see things, we see process. “Where other people struggle with a ‘thing’ called love, we see a subjective set of processes with a structure and a recipe. And because of that, we can see what's actually going on where other people don't see it. And what you can see you have power to change, to modify, to control or to influence. So to me, the biggest part of my work is seeing people through those NLP filters and then teaching my students to see themselves and women through those NLP filters. “Then the language patterns come after that.” But there’s more to his training and coaching than NLP, particularly when working with men who are anxious about approaching women. Surprisingly, the ‘more’ is a form of Buddhist meditation called vipasana, or mindfulness meditation. “Perhaps this sounds crazy, from someone who in his marketing says ‘Get laid now, ask me how’. But in fact, this is what I'm very deeply passionate about because I've seen the difference in my life,” Jeffries explains. “Many men have an image in their mind that they have to be perfectly smooth and perfectly confident before they even talk to women, which is cr*p, because of course you can't have that good a skill set unless you practice many times. So they're stuck in this sort of What do you think about the relationship between NLP and persuasion? Have you experienced Ross Jeffries, his competitors or their students at work? And do you agree with Jeffries about the importance of mindfulness as a supplement to NLP?
Gordian knot where they won't make any moves until they're perfect but of course they can't be perfect until they make a lot of moves. And so they wind up never making any moves and never being perfect, and just chasing information, rather than actually getting skilled in the world. “A lot of NLP techniques involve visualising in a certain way. The challenge is many people can't visualise, and also many people are already too stuck in their head anyway. If I give someone a lot of visualising to do, for example to overcome fear and instill confidence, the problem is that it is playing into their need to have absolute certainty before they take a step. “And so my insight is to come along and say: ‘You know, to slice that knot in half, NLP is not a good toolset for this.’ “I've found something that I find to be equally, if not more, useful. NLP is my beginning, my foundation, and I still make it a core, but not the only thing that I do. “Vipasana emphasises insight into your ongoing subjective experience. For example, if someone comes to me and they're very, very anxious around women, rather than have them fight it or do a swish and change it, I have them pay attention to it with great clarity and without any desire to change it. So for example I have them pay attention, where do they feel the feeling, and how does it change and move? “And if you teach people the discipline of tuning in to their experience without fighting it, and without feeding it…and without trying to suppress it, there's a beautiful third choice, which is to be present with something without trying to fight it, without trying to feed it, and give it full permission to be there and bring your full awareness to it. And what happens is that things that normally form a block begin to dissolve into something else. It's a practice of equanimity. “NLP is great for rehearsing new behaviours, but it really doesn't have any good toolsets for building what I would call witness consciousness, to be present with what your experience is without fighting it, without feeding it, without needing to modify and change it. “NLP is all about change, change, change, and sometimes in life we do have to surrender, but surrender in a way that leads to wisdom and purification, not self-destruction or insanity or harming others, and that is the deep, deep power I have gained from vipasana. “You won't find peace, I think, through NLP. It's a beautiful set of modalities, a beautiful set of tools, but it doesn't talk about that. So I would say it's time to bring balance back to the NLP world by teaching that there's some areas of life where control is not necessarily the best first response.”
We’ll be running a further article on this topic in our next edition, to please get in touch with Judy Rees via ANLP at: judy.rees@gmail.com Ross Jeffries London Trainings: 27-29 August 2010 Details at www.seduction.com/liveseminar.php
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ANLP NEWS ANLP Move… Onwards and Upwards!
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fter last years double success at the Hertfordshire Business Awards, ANLP are continuing to grow, expand and improve. And with expansion in mind, they are very excited to welcome Rapport Advertising Consultant, Nicola Andrews, into a bigger role in the ANLP Office. And, in order to accommodate all of the creative ideas from Karen, Nicola and Lala, the ANLP Team will be moving to a bigger office! Effective immediately, the new office address is: ANLP International CIC, Room 11, Apsley Mills Cottage , London Road, Hemel Hempstead Herts, HP3 9RL. Please make sure you remember to take note of the new address and send all future correspondence there. All phone numbers and email addresses remain the same.
Testing, testing…
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NLP recently launched the pilot of the newly improved ANLP Accreditation Process to all those who had enquired about the scheme. The new and improved process not only enables NLP Professionals to clearly demonstrate commitment to standards in an unregulated industry, it will improve the public reputation of NLP, by demonstrating the value of this externally verified, independent Accreditation process. This additional verification will be available for both NLP trainers and providers of NLP related courses, providing certain key criteria can be met, and will enable you to demonstrate that you are a professional, credible and reliable NLP Provider to all your potential clients and differentiate you from your competitors. So far, we have received really positive feedback, which will be used to shape the final Accreditation Process, and the first few applications have come in to put the new system to the test! We will be reporting back in the next issue with an update.
Another exclusive deal for ANLP members!
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e are very happy to announce that we have secured yet another exclusive deal for ANLP members, this time for members who want to grow their business. The truth is that as a business owner, even if your business is just you, you will have a great deal on your mind. The “old” economy where you can organically grow your business without much effort has gone forever to be replaced by an economy where only the smartest, fittest businesses survive and thrive.
The days where you didn’t have to actively market and sell your business are GONE. The days where you didn’t have to keep in touch with your customers constantly because they phoned you when they needed you are GONE. And the days of not bothering to exploit new technology are also gone. And for many people the “new” economy is extremely uncomfortable. The Extraordinary Coaching Company specialises in helping small businesses find the “Hidden Money” through teaching them how to make the most of what’s available and what’s working now, without having to break the bank. Their offer
ANLP: A University Case Study
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e are very pleased to announce that Hertfordshire University will be using ANLP as a case study in their latest research project which starts in September. This project aims to refine the use of the Social Enterprise Balanced Scorecard, which is a framework developed to help social enterprise demonstrate social value to stakeholders, for social enterprises, and to use the research outcomes to develop a course to deliver the methodology to social enterprise managers. ANLP are very much looking forward to taking part in the project and we understand that their will be an opportunity for Members to take part in the research, so we will keep you posted.
for members is: 20% discount off their Gold “Finding The Hidden Money” membership, and a 30 minute free consultation for anyone who signs up through the ANLP. For details of The Extraordinary Coaching Company’s exclusive to ANLP members offer go to the members area of the website www.anlp.org You can also visit www.Finding thehiddenmoney.com where you will find lots of free business building reports that you can access whether or not you take out their membership. Be sure to sign up to the membership through the ANLP so that you get the exclusive benefits.
The First Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) in Higher Education Symposium Saturday 18 September 2010, Bournemouth University, Bournemouth, Dorset UK.
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he symposium will provide a forum to share, showcase and disseminate current research and practice relating to NLP strategies within Higher Education. An invitation to submit proposals for this inaugural symposium is extended to academics, researchers and student support staff within the HE sector. For more information, please visit their website: www.nlphesymposium.org.uk
12 | Summer 2010 - rapport
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NLP
Sensory Awareness and its role in time travel By Joe Abrams
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any human cultures have developed powerful stories to explain their origins. Many of these stories revolve around a creator, who made humans “special” amongst the animals. These creation myths vary in content, although their existence in all parts of the globe suggests a common urge – we all like to know how things happened. One of the tools which modern society has developed to explore the past, is archaeology. It is concerned with the full range of human experience; how we organized ourselves into social groups, exploited our surroundings, what we ate, made, believed and how we communicated through art, music and words. Archaeology and NLP The connections between this quest and that of NLP are profound. The very basis of our humanity flows from our use of complex speech-language, for it is via this tool that our consciousness developed. The brain’s capacity for language allows us to define our personal past, present and potential future and by so doing, to become aware of the existence of the ‘self’. “Consciousness is my main, perhaps my only attribute. Therefore, I am a conscious thing. Conscious things are minds. Therefore I am a mind” (Rene Descartes) Archaeology searches for evidence of that hinge in the human story whereby we moved into consciousness, that awareness of self which came via our capability to use complex language to communicate and to co-operate. Prior to this
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transition our story is one of relatively modest technological innovation, evidenced in stone tools, and changes in anatomy. Following that increase in our capacity for complex communication and an associated growth in consciousness, we see an explosion in technological innovation. A huge variety of tools being put to use in all the new environments into which humanity now adventured. The birth of complex language
To appreciate these things we need to utilise our intuitive mind
led to powerful co-operation between humans, making them formidable hunters, increasing their capability beyond that which their physical strength and size allowed as individuals. The birth of art can then be seen in abstract cave paintings, the birth of music in the instruments left behind, evidence of spirituality in the act of deliberate burial and the rituals which accompanied it. NLP draws on many sources to create models whereby patterns of human thought, and the role language plays within them, can be recognised. Models have been generated that allow practitioners to use NLP in assisting people to change, moving from less than resourceful patterns of behaviour and freeing them to reach their potential. How NLP can add magic to the archaeological narrative “The rational mind is the faithful servant; the intuitive mind a sacred gift” (Albert Einstein) Einstein’s quotation provides a useful analogy for one of the ways in which the archaeologist may use NLP. It has been my experience that, as we gather data (plant remains, bone fragments, wooden artefacts, coins or the remains of buildings and statues) our primary task is to quantify, catalogue, archive and publish their descriptions. We relate them, via ever expanding typologies, to the data gathered from other, similar sites and through this system the great corpus of knowledge moves on. I view this practice as representative of the human brain’s tendency to rationalise, organise and label the world in
NLP
People of all cultures, and at all times, have experienced the world via their five senses order to make sense of it. Of course, understanding how a pot was made, tells us nothing about how its aesthetic appeal, or lack of, improved the taste of food served in it. Being able to recognise the tell-tale signs of a hearth, within a prehistoric roundhouse, tells us nothing of how the flames danced against human faces as they absorbed the welcome warmth of fire and family. Testing the chemistry of soil around that house in order to define different areas of human activity, does not shed light on how it felt for all the members of an extended family to share their home with cattle. To appreciate these things we need to utilise our intuitive mind. The VAKOG model which I have picked up via NLP is a highly effective way of doing this. VAKOG is a model rooted in the way the human brain and body process sensory information via our five senses, informing our experience of the world. Crucially, people of all cultures, and at all times, have experienced the world via their five senses. It is one of the threads which binds us making it an ideal way in which to attempt a more complete appreciation of the past. Experiencing how those activities might have felt, looked and tasted is what makes it possible for someone living now to step directly into the shoes of people living ‘then’. I have a vivid memory of removing pieces of a Bronze Age wooden trackway preserved in the Cambridgeshire peat fens. It was being dismantled to understand its construction, catalogue the species present, check for carpentry marks and to obtain samples for scientific dating. At some point in the process, I removed a piece of wood to reveal a single leaf, sealed for some 3,000 years this leaf was perfect in every way, still retaining its bright green colour slightly translucent in the sunlight. In that moment, I appreciated more completely how the local environment would have looked, felt and smelt than I have ever done by trawling through long articles on species and scientific dates. My own sensory
awareness temporarily cleared the fog between myself and the trackway makers. The exploration of Metaphor within NLP reveals its role in the ways we humans are predisposed to express our perceptions of reality “Metaphor allows us to externalise abstract thinking and translate it into a sensory-based tangible representation” (Owen – The Magic of Metaphor). This is useful to the archaeologist, who can begin to appreciate how people in the past would also have processed information in this way, created their ‘Maps of the world’ using their own Metaphors. An awareness of the VAKOG model of sensory awareness and the role of metaphor have become useful tools for me in directing my minds intuition to (come closer) to experiencing how events in the past might have looked, felt, smelt and sounded – and via this process to aspire to telling more complete stories about the past. Objective and complete experience of the past is not possible – I don’t have a time machine. What we all have is our five senses and our own ability for complex language. Through synthesising the rational data gathered via archaeology we can utilise that intuition to re-create and tell stories about the past. By so doing we transform that foggy, fragmented greyscale image available via fragmentary collections of artefacts and move towards wide-screen, sharp focus, surround sound multi-colour stories. We may do this, in part, by utilising our five senses in creating those stories and VAKOG is a way of achieving that. Taking the long view – how archaeology may assist users of NLP Let the past serve the present (Mao Zedong)
During my NLP training a useful catchphrase was used to start many sessions ‘Everything you have learnt up until now still counts’. How true, both for my fellow students and for humanity as a whole. Reflection on our personal and collective pasts can lead to progress as we recognise the patterns of behaviour which work and those which are less resourceful. 1) As practitioners of NLP we are familiar with the power of modelling success. We may find it useful to explore, with clients, stories about the human past. An understanding that so many individuals and so many communities have come before us, have faced similar challenges and have mustered the wit and determination to rise above them achieving huge success, can be inspiring. By and large, the human race have been winners, our ingenuity and ability to co-operate mean we can each be proud and draw strength from our membership of that winning group. As with any winner – and depending upon the context, encouraging the development of a sense of magnanimity towards the rest of nature may also be a useful learning point. The human past possesses a plethora of success stories from which a Practitioner could select in order to match with a client and their present/outcome states. 2) Discussion of NLP presupposition ‘The Map is not the Territory’ may provoke a re-evaluation of ones current viewpoint. A pathway to exploring that presupposition is to remind clients of ways in which past communities constructed maps of their physical worlds – not on paper but in gustatory associations with certain types of fruit growing only in certain spots, visual memories of distinctive mountain ridges or other landmarks, kinaesthetic anchors between fear and certain environments such as marshland. The variety of sensory maps available and crucial to human survival can be a powerful reminder of how developing a
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NLP
personal flexibility in mapping our own lives can be as crucial to our survival now as it was to our ancestors living closer to nature. 3) In modern Britain we are surrounded by boundaries created by human beings, barriers by the side of roads, fences around gardens. In the past such boundaries existed too, along with a whole variety of natural boundaries marking the edge of ‘safe’ (e.g. meadow, river valley) land from potentially ‘dangerous’ land (e.g. marsh or desert). Ironically, as modern technology sweeps away the limitations once set by nature, land ownership and the creation of barriers to ‘private’ land replaces them and plays the same role – to inhibit free movement. As an archaeologist I find it fascinating to observe why steep bends occur in some modern roads – why didn’t the road builders just design straight roads that takes us quicker to our destination? The bulk of our roads have ancient origins and the ancient users didn’t move as fast as we do, and anyway, they were not necessarily going where we are. Often when stripping ground
Objective and complete experience of the past is not possible – I don’t have a time machine ahead of modern road widening – the ancient answers for modern bends in the road become clear, an ancient cemetery lay in the way and the route moved around
it. A forgotten village stood at that bend, pulling travellers, and the road towards it. Those villages and the cemetery are long forgotten now, invisible even, and yet the modern roads cling to these ancient patterns. I am sure the reader is already making associations, perhaps a person drawn to follow old patterns which no longer work for them; obeying invisible obstacles in their pathways. Discussion of this idea may assist clients in exploring and questioning why they have sometimes followed roads which were unresourceful and how they might strike out and design better ones, fit for their present. As with archaeology and the human past, this article only scratches the surface of what is possible. Our collective past can be viewed as one of huge changes, those changes viewed even in one lifetime can be impressive, when viewed from a distance over hundreds of generations – they confirm the awesome power for positive change which humanity has. What better way to inspire a feeling of personal potential than to remember that wonderful past we all share.
Author
Sources
Joe Abrams has trained in NLP with Melody and Joe Cheal of the GWIZ Learning Partnership and recently became a Master Practitioner. He is now trading as Way To Flow through which he explores the uses of NLP and hypnotherapy for positive change. He is also a Project Manager with Albion Archaeology (Central Bedfordshire Council).
Abrams, J. 1995. When did speech-language appear in the hominid lineage? And why is it important for defining humanity. Unpublished dissertation submitted for BA in Archaeology, Institute of Archaeology, University College London.
jpb.abrams@googlemail.com
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GWIZ Learning Partnership, 2007. NLP Practitioner Manual. Owen, N. 2009. The Magic of Metaphor. Atheneum Press
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LIFESTYLE
email miscommunication How to avoid By Eve Menezes Cunningham
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once very graciously made a huge tea round,” says William. “It took three trips to the kitchen to distribute all the beverages. Well, nine cups, anyway.” But when he got back to his desk, a colleague was “scuttling around my computer, frantically attempting to delete an email that she'd mistakenly sent to me. It read: ‘Bleurgh. Another horrible William cuppa. What does he do to it? How can you make tea taste like that?’ And it's rubbish. I make an excellent cup of tea. Even if you haven’t done it yourself, chances are, you know at least one person who’s accidentally sent an email to the wrong person leading to mutual mortification or worse. A recent AOL survey found that 32% have forwarded an email to the wrong person.
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32% have forwarded an email to the wrong person Louise’s excitement about her new job diminished when she discovered that someone working for her was not up to scratch. After spending a few months trying to retrain her, she received an email asking for a pay rise. Louise forwarded it to her own
boss, laughing at her cheek. “Except I’d hit reply,” she says, “and didn't realise until I got an email from her with the simple line 'I don't think this was meant for me.'” On a much larger scale, Gwent Police recently made headlines for accidentally emailing confidential information about people’s CRB checks to a local paper. The email’s author faces the sack for gross
LIFESTYLE
misconduct and personal information about over 10,000 people is floating around. According to AOL, 67% check emails in bed, 59% in the bathroom, 50% while driving, 39% in a bar or club, 38% in a business meeting, 25% while on a date and 15% in church. Somehow, although I’m not a churchgoer myself, I find the last statistic even more shocking than the idea of drivers emailing. It’s easy to dismiss emails as dangerous but they are also incredibly useful. They allow us to keep a record of what’s been agreed, work night or day and hit send when it’s fresh without worrying about being intrusive. They also allow us to edit our words, deleting them entirely sometimes, in a way that’s impossible with live or telephone conversations.
67% check emails in bed, 59% in the bathroom, 50% while driving, 39% in a bar or club, 38% in a business meeting, 25% while on a date and 15% in church
Your NLP skills can help you avoid some of the more common email miscommunication pitfalls: Keep your outcome in mind – Create a well formed outcome and keep this in mind as you send your message. What kind of response are you hoping for? Use your sensory acuity and flexibility – If you don’t get the response you wanted, look for ways to adapt your approach next time. Is there a time of the day or week when the recipient might be more receptive? Do they prefer phone calls or face to face conversations? What else might you do differently? AOL found that 16% have used email to break bad news. Are you taking an easy way out by avoiding a phone or face to face conversation? It may be uncomfortable but, long term, you’ll both be glad you made it more personal. Play with perceptual positions – these are another endlessly helpful tool. Put yourself in your recipient’s shoes. How are they likely to feel reading your words? How would you feel if you were them? Is there a better way to get this message across? What kind of rapport do you want to contribute to? – You can build or break rapport by using similar language, salutations and sign offs. You might start with Dear x and then, if they change to Hi x, adapt your own approach. Similarly, Kind regards may evolve
into xxx! (Just make sure it's appropriate.). If you’re receiving emails that feel a bit too friendly, you can up the formality in your own emails. AOL found sign-offs quite controversial with 63% of respondents having been irritated by them. “Cheers” and “xoxo” caused the most offence. Pause – If you ever send emails before you’ve finished drafting them, delay typing in the address until you’ve checked everything properly (even if you’re hitting reply, copy the address you want to send it to but paste it out of that box until you’re ready to hit send). If it’s an especially important message, you might find reading it aloud before you send it helpful to catch typos as well as getting a better sense of how it might sound to the recipient. Think about your own preferences and those of the person you’re sending to – Is this email a good opportunity to practice using more kinaesthetic / auditory or visual language. Do they share your natural preference? Even if you decide not to change your language, asking yourself the question
will help you consider their viewpoint that bit more. Stretch a little – It’s common knowledge that standing up while talking on the phone can help you sound more confident and that smiling comes across even through your voice. If you’ve been sitting at your computer for ages, get up and have a stretch to loosen any tension in your neck and shoulders or wrists. Just taking this moment or two to check in with your own feelings could help you send a much better email when you sit down to type again. Be as kind as you possibly can – It’s easier said than done but if you’re getting annoyed with someone else’s emails to you, take a deep breath and remember that emails last longer than phone calls and face to face conversations. Resist the impulse to vent. Think about the tips above. Would picking up the phone help you defuse the situation and even be kinder? Email can often sound far more abrupt than the sender intends, especially when emotions are heightened. Do your part to stop things spiralling.
If you want to improve your communication skills in your relationships at work and in general, please visit www.applecoaching.com for more information about telephone coaching and NLP across the UK and beyond, face to face coaching and Walk by Water Coaching in Witham, Essex and London Bridge.
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Learning EDUCATION
to Inspire
Neuro-linguistic Programming has come of age and now requires high-level endorsement. Learning to Inspire Directors Jane Douglas and Jo Lord talk to Elizabeth Gates about a new initiative designed to create a partnership between a training organisation, a university and employers to bring degree-level NLP to the workplace.
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The university offers higher education accreditation whilst we offer the workshops, supported by academic coaching and assessment
s a duckling, Duncan the Duck – who frequents the courtyard the Cheshire offices – lived in a flat full of students and ate pizza. Two years of this lifestyle prevented Duncan from learning to swim. In fact, this lifestyle prevented him from even seeing water - which some would say was his natural environment. Course Director Jane Douglas comments: ‘This is a great metaphor for us. Duncan – at some stage – had to learn to be a duck. And this is how we approach learning – we regard it as the natural environment of the individual. Everything else leads on from that.’ So, for ten years, with this in mind and working in partnership with clients, they have designed leadership, trainer training and personal development programmes for industry and the professions in both public and private sector organisations. To support their own trainers and clients, they seek out all published research into brain function, leadership and the management of personal and organisational change. Trainers and all NLP practitioners - can demonstrate their continuous professional development in areas such as personal and organisational psychology. As a result, the alignment of Higher Education with the nation’s employers has encouraged LTI – in partnership with the University of Chester - to develop a new degree level qualification in NLP. The course began in January 2009. It's titled Applied Neuro-Linguistic Programming in Personal and Organisational Development, and comprises of a transformational suite of four modules – Leadership, Learning, Coaching and Life Mastery - all relevant to the workplace. Manager of the University of Chester Professional Development Unit and programme leader for one of the largest UK Higher Education
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Work-based Learning Frameworks, Dr David Perrin comments: 'Learning to Inspire has emerged as a key player in the sector. Our partnership with them involves some of our most innovative approaches to facilitation and assessment, and student evaluations are first rate. Learners complete their courses, not only with the appropriate University Qualifications, but also with analytical and reflective capabilities, which aid personal development and increase workplace performance'. The partnership with the University of Chester is synergistic. The university offers higher education accreditation whilst we offer the workshops, supported by academic coaching and assessments - both interactive and reflective. Employers also have a vital part to play in ensuring commitment and support, in terms of releasing staff to attend the taught workshops, and demonstrating a readiness to implement the fresh approaches to working that participants undoubtedly develop. All learners are assigned an Academic coach who provides them with tutoring, assessment and personal coaching to ensure the application of their learning back into the workplace. The programmes are attracting participants from many backgrounds and differing walks of life, Jane Douglas says “the richness of the learning experience is significantly enhanced by the wide range of people on the programmes – mostly mature students, many already work as trainers, coaches or HR professionals. However we are also attracting a large number of owner managers and leaders from organisations who want to benefit from creating cutting edge leadership and learning cultures within their own organisations.”
EDUCATION
The NLP Community can only benefit from Higher Education validation and the application of academic rigour to the field Although the degree qualification is valuable to employers and individuals, Jane recognises that ‘course participants are people who genuinely want to reconnect with their own sense of purpose through learning and leading.’ She adds ‘We know personal and professional development of individuals is the difference that makes the difference in organisations. You cannot teach anyone anything, but you can help them find it within themselves’ So, for their part during the course, which will last for 2-3 years on a part-time basis, participants will commit to taking responsibility for their own learning and completing actions agreed with their academic coach. Jane attributes the success of this unique combination of University Degree Accreditation, NLP and Employer Engagement to the combined backgrounds of the Directors. Jane has extensive experience in Industry – she is also an artist by training, who has come through the field of further and higher education into inspirational learning and development. As a result, their training is ‘created’ in a physically, mentally and emotionally ‘stimulating space’. She explains “Our approach is underpinned by our belief that for learning to be effective, it needs to be transformational, enabling people to act, behave and think differently as a result. Our learning programmes appeal to the entire person, not just the intellect, making learning enjoyable and easy. We enable individuals to take what they’ve learnt back to their work and lives by developing their capacity to learn – which means that changes can continue long after the programme ends.” And Jane admits: “What inspires me is the contact with the learners, hearing their stories, being with them on their journey and contributing to change for each individual.’ On the other hand, while similarly wanting to change lives, Director Jo Lord is drawn to the bigger picture. Having worked in education and regeneration, she knows how to work with strategic bodies, engage businesses and how to access funding. Jo says: ‘My main driver is to use my knowledge and experience to make NLP accessible to everyone who is attracted to our programmes. My ambition is to mainstream NLP, and this has been a key driver in working with the University of Chester. We know how to translate our
training so it fits within the requirements of Higher Education, benefitting learners and their sponsoring employers.’ Dealing with about 120-150 students a year in groups of about 30 at a time, with mostly no previous experience of NLP, they have already gained a fine reputation for ensuring students have a memorable learning experience with immediate application in ‘the real world’. Their core values for learning are ‘Meaningful’, ‘Relevant’ and ‘Creative’ - and the Higher Education Degree builds on this. As Jo explains: “The NLP Community can only benefit from Higher Education validation and the application of academic rigour to the field. Our new degree qualification requires regular practical assessment and feedback through coaching, as well as reflection on learning and its application in the working role. The most challenging stretch of the course is the requirement to evidence personal development and growth, indicating the impact of that change in the workplace.” The space and time for this to happen is created at one of two carefully chosen venues – the Llyndir Country Hall Hotel, near Chester, or the New House Country Hotel near Cardiff participants meet face-to-face for six days in each module. Each day includes a practical assessment session where individuals are assessed using various NLP techniques they have covered in the sessions – this makes up 60% of the Higher Education assessment. For the remainder of their time – whilst in contact with their academic coach and working on their reflective assignments – they are applying their new learning in the workplace. Observations made by NLP founders Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the 1970s about the similarity of ‘successful’ people’s mindsets have led the course developers to encourage the qualities of creativity and flexibility in course participants creating for each individual a ‘way of being’ which allows their strengths to flourish. As Jane explains: ‘We model the way. We risk and innovate – and we expect our participants to do the same. And we enjoy the journey from where we are to where we want to be – inspiring our participants to enjoy their journey too.’ The new degree course will add academic endorsement.
For more information about the new Foundation Degree course, please visit www.learningtoinspire.co.uk For an enrolment pack call: 0854 050 7676 or email info@learningtoinspire.co.uk Elizabeth Gates may be contacted through www.lonelyfurrowcompany.com
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DEBATE
NLP SPEAK By Nick Kemp
T
oday I was reading a newsletter from an NLP trainer and I couldn’t help but wonder how much “NLP speak” aka jargon was included in the copy. I’m not exactly an English professor when it comes to grammar, but this missive barely made sense in parts and I wonder just how many people who were not schooled in NLP would be able to understand it! One of the lines was something along the lines of “You went to some NLP event and they taught you to ask all those questions...” It’s unclear if the above is a question or statement, but either way it’s in my opinion a bit odd... Of course many won’t bother even reading content in newsletters when surfing online and as Steve Krug comments people “browse” when on the net, they don’t read! This may be just as well as a great deal of NLP information is so full of jargon that it’s almost like another language. When I used to run NLP trainings I of course had to familiarise myself with all the terms used in order to teach the certificated
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events. On many occasions I felt that those who created the language of NLP could have really given a little more consideration to simplicity and I also noticed that many NLP practitioners tended to communicate using “NLP speak” when talking to each other as if part of a secret society. The same individuals then found to their surprise that often all did not proceed to plan when talking to clients, where the clients in many instances became very confused by what the practitioner was attempting to communicate. When I first trained in NLP in the 1990s, one of the few people who really helped with this simplification was Paul McKenna, who probably did more than most to
promote NLP to the general population in a conversational manner. Even so at workshops attendees would practice the exercises with ease having been given simple instructions, subsequently only to become very confused when they read the NLP training manual and attempt to practice these skills! The manuals seemed poorly written, with no colour pictures and containing seemingly unhelpful graphics. I made a point of getting a colour version of the standard manual, but was only allowed one paper copy, so I scanned the whole manual to produce a better looking version. It still had the 1970s style graphics and jargon, but at least it looked better and fitted in better with a training that was all about sensory acuity! As an experiment I showed a manual to a number of non NLPers and they all commented on the jargon terms used and the graphics. On the eye accessing picture the poor woman looked like she was not very approachable at all. Some regard
DEBATE
A great deal of NLP information is so full of jargon that it’s almost like another language
jargon as an attempt at a different kind of “sleight” than found in NLP books. “Jargon is the verbal sleight of hand that makes the old hat seem newly fashionable; it gives an air of novelty and specious profundity to ideas that, if stated directly, would seem superficial, stale, frivolous, or false. The line between serious and spurious scholarship is an easy one to blur, with jargon on your side." David Lehman Of course many of the skills found in NLP are absolutely excellent and this is why I agreed to join the advisory board of ANLP, as they promote professional standards
and are a Community for Interest Concern. However due to how NLP has been portrayed in recent years, and how the professional recognition has not been developed as one would possibly expect, I have dialled back references to it on my primary site. NLP practitioners and trainers often talk about NLP’s superiority to psychology, while at the same time describing NLP as “the latest psychological technique” but then insisting “NLP is not therapy” while then creating “Advanced Therapeutic Specialists” in NLP. Confused? I bet many members of the public are confused by this lack of precision in communication! Some NLP practitioners forget that “NLP speak” can be off putting for members of the public, and understandably so on reading that a personal help specialist is “a design
human engineer level 1” which could seem more like someone working in robotics. It seems a bit similar to appearing in an episode of Star Trek and finding yourself part of the Borg collective, “Hey one of three, we need some help with this spider phobic!” Some acronyms used in NLP, as elsewhere, are ambiguous and I also wonder if an event described as a “PE seminar” may attract those interested in persuasion engineering or premature ejaculation. This use of jargon in NLP is not confined to the written word. A friend of mine who attended an NLP Practitioner event made the same observation and commented “Why can’t they talk in plain English” OK now I’m off to do some Omni Directional Chunking, if only I can remember what it is!
www.nickkemptraining.com
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Jericho CELEBRITY
Sunfire
talks about swapping the rugby green for a greener lifestyle By Eve Menezes Cunningham
J
ericho Sunfire, who used to play for Oldham Rugby League Club, is now encouraging people to return to a more natural way of being by getting active in nature and eating more natural foods. When he talked about going inwards as he made changes in his own life, I was picturing a yogi-like person, living far from any humans. But Jericho laughed when I asked where he’d gone. Instead of travelling the world, visiting ashrams and retreats, he’d simply stayed where he was and tuned the world out for a while. Jericho played rugby for six years for Oldham but had stopped playing professional rugby the year before. His diet detox sounded very different to a typical rugby player’s lifestyle and I wondered how it affects his social life but Jericho says he’s happy to go to places where other people are eating and drinking. “If I want to be somewhere with friends I will be somewhere,” he says. “But if the pub or club doesn’t have a nice vibration, I say, ‘I’ll pass on that’.” After he told me about spending almost a decade feeling pretty awful as he detoxed, I wondered why he’d persevered but Jericho says it was all intuition. “There was a spiritual connection, like plugging in a socket and turning a switch on. Instant knowing. I could see so clearly that this was a change I could make.” Before his journey began, he’d become used to waking up feeling terrible and says, “I felt so run down, so bad and no different to how I normally felt but for some reason, one day was different. I followed that intuition at every step.” Jericho started craving fruit. He says, “Before that, the only time I’d crave fruits was in apple pies or something. I had my intuition and went underground, like Rocky in the movies where he goes somewhere and trains. I just couldn’t deal with people’s fears. I followed that intuition at every step. I went through fruit like nobody’s business. It was like finding the answer to all my problems.” Jericho isn’t evangelical about his lifestyle. It’s a personal choice for him. It’s not for everyone. “Was I spiritual or religious before? No,
but I was always open to it. I was always the kid who would play by himself. I was always the observer, never the popular guy with the girls, never the life and soul of the party. I would walk the streets and feel like no one could see me. I was always open to wider perspectives but never had much opportunity to explore things. I thought a lot of things people thought was crazy, like religion, fasting and things like that, were possible. I would never knock it down even if I thought it might be impossible.” Jericho feels that anyone can become more attuned to their intuition and that, for most, it doesn’t involve extreme relationships with food. “Be proactive,” he says. “Get fit. Go hiking in your own neighbourhood and in beautiful places like the woods. That was and is my form of meditation. Feel the connection with the greenery and get subtle messages from your own experience. “Inner knowing kept me going. I would get brief flashes of brilliance, of what I was going to experience. I’d also get brief flashes of incredible wellbeing which would make me think, ‘This is it. I’m on the right track.’” Jericho encourages people to enjoy more natural and uncooked foods. He believes that people as well as the planet will benefit. “I promote primitive and natural methods of fitness that include running, walking, jumping, lifting and climbing which goes hand in hand with the ‘natural living’ philosophy of eating natural foods and being active in nature,” he says. “I encourage people to celebrate nature and the environment by getting active and making full use of the great outdoors, I strongly believe that the reason why we as a society are losing the fight against sickness, disease and obesity is because we have strayed so far away from our natural diet and lifestyle.” Jericho is planning to embark on the Three Peaks Challenge as well and is celebrating his birthday by taking part in a Lands End to John O’Groats walk.
Get fit. Go hiking in your own neighbourhood and in beautiful places like the woods. That was and is my form of meditation. Feel the connection with the greenery and get subtle messages from your own experience 24 | Summer 2010 - rapport
CELEBRITY
Trust your intuition and become the #1 expert on yourself It’s not easy to know what’s right for you when every magazine, paper and person you know advocates a different kind of “healthy lifestyle”. Instead of paying attention to what other people think you should be doing, listen to your own inner wisdom. Before ordering that pizza or deciding to stay in front of the TV rather than doing something more active, take a moment to tune in to yourself. Future pace it. How will you feel eating that pizza? How will you feel afterwards? Would something else help you feel better after this particular meal? What about the exercise? How will you feel once you get moving? What about vegging out in front of the TV after you’ve worked out? Take it step by step and do what’s right for you. It might be that right now, a pizza and TV is exactly what you need! The point is, you know yourself best. When you feel like making healthier choices, ask yourself what this would mean for you. Some people love salads and raw food isn’t too big a deal. You might be better off integrating more natural foods into soups, juices and smoothies so you enjoy them more. Again, future pace it, imagining how eating different types of natural food would feel. If you get a sense of deprivation, you’ll know (before wasting money buying it and time on preparation) that this particular idea is not for you. The ones that feel more enjoyable as you imagine them are the ones you’ll be better able to turn into healthy habits. Get into the habit of checking in with yourself throughout each day. You don’t need to change your life and go on a retreat, you can simply put reminders around your home and desk and when you notice them, tune into your body. Are you hungry? Do you need to stretch? Is a nap in order? When you think about the different outcomes of making that decision does one feel better than the others?
I promote primitive and natural methods of fitness that include running, walking, jumping, lifting and climbing which goes hand in hand with the ‘natural living’ philosophy of eating natural foods and being active in nature Get into nature Some studies show that the benefits we get when we exercise outside are higher than when we go to a gym. What would it be like to swap the exercise bike for an outdoor bike ride? The rowing machine for a trip to your nearest lake and an actual boat? The treadmill for a walk or run in your neighbourhood? Experiment with it and you’ll be able to boost your Vitamin D levels for an extra shot of wellbeing as you build more outdoor exercise into your routine. If you think you’re not an “exercise person”, think about other ways you can get into nature. Do you enjoy gardening? If you don’t have your own garden, could you hire an allotment, maybe with friends? If all this sounds too energetic, something as simple as taking your lunch or a book outside could be a good way to get back into nature.
Find out more about Jericho on his website www.jerichosunfire.com and at www.youtube.com/mrjerichosunfire
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COACHING
Coaching Models Don’t Work By David Molden
I
f you coach as part of your role you are likely to use a model or structure to guide you and guide your client to their desired state or to a new performance level. If you have trained professionally as a coach you will know there are many models of coaching being used. Some coaches will stick to the model they have been given at their training. There are behavioural models, transformational models, holistic and integral models, and there are coaches who work without models preferring to take their lead from the client. One of the most ubiquitous models in use today is the basic GROW model (Goal, Reality, Options, Will). It provides the novice coach with a simple structure to follow, and like most models, it has its limitations. For example, it assumes that the client is able to identify and articulate a goal up front although very often a client has only a vague idea of what they want to achieve at the start of coaching. From an NLP perspective the sequence of GROW reverses the Current/ Desired state process, i.e. it asks you to define your goal and then to describe your current state. NLP Practitioners learn to lead their client from current state to desired state which changes the GROW model to RGOW, and then the metaphor is lost. A client may contact a coach because they know what they don’t want and are confused about what they do want. The client’s starting point is often to describe their current reality. Other models are more transformational in design, aimed at helping a client make a transition to higher levels of conscious awareness and interaction. Using a variety of models will either give you more flexibility in your coaching, or create confusion for both client and coach. It’s the coach, not the model that does the work since the use of any model requires a breadth and depth of coaching skill. It’s not enough to know a model. Sticking to a model may restrict your progress with a client. Knowing when to leave the structure of the model and when to return to it will increase your flexibility as a
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coach. A coaching model puts a frame around the coaching and the frame provides a certain focus and structure. By its nature every model will put some degree of limitation on your coaching by what its particular frame excludes. No matter how much you may love your particular model, a model is only one way of putting a frame around an experience. A model doesn’t actually exist except in the mind, and so the ability to switch models
It’s the coach, not the model that does the work and the awareness of when to leave the confines of a model may be crucial to the outcomes of your client. Remember, the client exists – your model doesn’t. You may be able to draw your model on paper, but it is only a representation of a mental frame. It has no physical mechanism, just a conceptual framework. So I come to the title of this article that models don’t work – only you can work as the coach. So the question becomes whether the model, or conceptual frame you are using to shape and so constrain the coaching process is useful or not. Some models are useful at a detail level; others lend themselves to higher planes of thought. NLP Practitioners might use the 4 legs of NLP as their conceptual framework: 1 Have a desired outcome 2 Have the sensory acuity to sense changes in the client’s neuro-physiology 3 Have behavioural flexibility to adapt to the client’s process 4 Move to action at the appropriate time NLP Practitioners will be familiar with this model which implies that skill is more important than the model or frame. But frames and models are useful as long as we don’t come to depend upon them, or
stick to one regardless of how the client is responding. In one of my favourite books, ‘The Tao of Leadership’ John Heider writes, ‘as a midwife you facilitate what is happening rather than what you think should be happening’ – wise words also for the coach. One of the most flexible models I have come across for coaching comes from the late David McClelland of Harvard Business School. It is also useful as a motivation model for leadership training as it is so flexible. It is based upon the three fundamental conditions required for any person to change or acquire a new skill: Opportunity Reframe current state issues and problems as positive opportunities. So the problem ‘I feel anxious when attending board meetings’ becomes something like ‘board meetings offer me an excellent opportunity to listen, learn and understand how the senior management team think and make decisions together’. The verbal reframe doesn’t immediately deal with the anxiety, but you can then use NLP techniques to change anxiety into fascination, curiosity or any other more useful emotional state relatively simply. This is also about how coaching is set-up. If a client learns a new approach, strategy or behaviour during a coaching session there needs to be an opportunity to apply the new learning almost immediately after the session. The longer the gap between learning and application the less likely the desired outcome will be realised. Desire Your job as a coach is to help your client create the desire to do whatever they now feel would be a positive and fulfilling outcome to go for. Notice the use of the term outcome and not goal. Outcomes are more rigorous than goals because they cover the wider impact of consequences and ecology rather than just the achievement. Testing desire is also much more than listening for a yes, no, or somewhere on a scale of 0-10. It is more about the tone of voice and other cues given through the neurophysiology that the desire is congruent. NLP Practitioners know all too well that a client who cares about how other people
COACHING feel over and above how they feel is likely to go along with what is expected of them in a coaching session. This is because they want you as the coach to succeed more than they want to solve their own problem; or in NLP terms an ‘others’ meta program. Other aspects of personality present different challenges to the coach in being convinced that a stated desire really is backed up by the energy and motivation to succeed. Know-How There are some coaches who use an eductive process exclusively, that is they avoid contaminating the client’s thought process with any of their own thoughts by only asking certain questions. This may work for some people some of the time. When you can also give your client some feedback about how they are thinking, how they are creating certain emotions, and how they are creating their own limitations you have given your client some know-how. When you couple know-how with desire and opportunity, you
create the conditions for learning and change. Whether you begin with Opportunity or Desire will be determined by your client’s starting point. Know-How will probably always come after. A great deal of our thinking and behaviour is under our conscious radar. Like an iceberg where the majority is under the waterline, we are only aware of the tip. We are unaware of so many aspects of our own thinking and behaviour. So to help a client increase their awareness of a thinking or behaviour pattern can have significant gains as the client is able to take the awareness and make simple changes. Regardless of which model you use for coaching, if you want to increase your success rate you need to develop skills. The more you can learn about how you think, behave and motivate yourself the more you will be able to relate to your client’s limitations and strategies that are not working so well. NLP has many models, and many tools for coaching. Models are useful, but they are not the coaching. It’s the skill that does the work. Happy Coaching!
A model is only one way of putting a frame around an experience
David Molden Quadrant 1 International Tel: 0870 762 1300 david@quadrant1.com www.quadrant1.com
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HEALTH
Energetic NLP for
Health and Healing Energetic NLP has wonderful processes for helping you to enhance your health, vitality, and ability to heal – combining the best of NLP, transformative work, energy healing and intuition development. By Art Giser and Olive Hickmott
Y
our body has enormous untapped healing abilities. These abilities are often suppressed by unconscious beliefs and programming, and by energies in your body’s energetic field. You can start having more health, vitality, and joy in being alive by using Energetic NLP. In this article, we will look at ten ways in which you can start to use Energetic NLP to enhance your health. If you are very experienced in working with the human energy field, you may have your own way to do these ten processes. For everyone else, at the end of the article you will find four simple and powerful energy processes , you will also find the e-address of a web site where you can listen to some free Energetic NLP audios and videos that will guide you through some of the processes. Important note: This is not intended to replace medical treatment; it is intended to complement it. Core concepts Science has shown that everything that exists, including your body, has an
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energy field. If you know how to clear your energy field, and how to use it well, you can enhance your emotional, psychological, and physical health. Many scientific experiments have shown that energy follows thought and energy follows your intention When people are learning these processes, they are more successful if let go of trying to do it right, are playful, use the "as if" frame, and discover what happens. Here are ten easy ways to use Energetic NLP to promote your health, vitality, and ability to heal. All are relevant to a host of specific health challenges. Connect to the energy field of the earth The earth has a massive energy field. Every living thing evolved with that energy field as an essential part of its functions. Your body was designed by evolution to work with earth Energies.
You know how on some days you feel that you are really at your best, and how on other days it is hard “to get it together”. You know the feeling of being solidly in your body as compared to being “not fully here”, tired or unclear. Martial artists use their connection to earth energies to increase their strength and power. We function best when we allow earth energy to flow in us, nurture us, and keep us fully connected to the physical world. People refer to this as being “grounded”. By grounding to the earth, and letting earth energies flow into and through your energy field, you enhance your mental, emotional, and physical functioning. Clear your energy field Your energy field, just like every other part of you, gets dirty. You collect energies as you go through the day. It can make you feel very tired, unclear on what you want, and it can suck the joy out of life. When you pick up the emotional energy of other people, it can cause you to feel emotions that are not really
HEALTH
your own. Other people’s energies negatively affect and confuse your own decision making, and the goals you set for yourself in life. Clear your energy field at least once a day. If you do it when you first wake up, you will feel energized, and ready to start the day. Doing it before you go to sleep will make it easier to fall asleep and increase the amount of deep rest and rejuvenation you receive from your sleep. The great news is that it only takes a minute and a half to do it! Retrieve and revitalize your energy We all know the feeling of being “all over the place” having left our energy in other places or with other people. People speak of feeling that someone drained them. Many times people feel exhausted after working with or being around clients or other people. It is very, very important that after you clear other people's energy from your energy field, you then retrieve your own energy. Do this when you first wake up in the morning, and before you go to bed at night. Retrieve your energy during the day when you are sluggish or tired for a wonderful energy boost. Even if you just take one minute to do this in the morning and one minute at night, it will have a very profound effect on your life. The golden ball process at the end of this article is a simple way to retrieve and revitalize your energy. You can clean your energy field, retrieve AND revitalize your energy in only 2-3 minutes. Run universal energy through your body Along with earth energies, there are powerful healing energies that come from other sources. They are especially useful for enhancing the psychological and spiritual aspects of your health. These amazing energies can also be used to remove other people’s energy, old emotions, limiting beliefs, unconscious programming, and other energies from your energy field. Increase your “havingness” for health You might think that you are completely open to having fantastic health and to healing any problem. Unfortunately, that is rarely true. Unconsciously and energetically, you are programmed as to how much health you can have, what illnesses you are most susceptible to, and to what you can and can’t heal. You are programmed as to how healthy and vital you can be. You are also programmed about the effects and limitations of ageing. Robert Dilts, Suzi Smith, Tim Hallbom and others have developed powerful NLP processes clearing this
programming and enhancing health. Some people call this “havingness”. Your havingness is how much of something (health, love, money, success, joy, etc.) you are programmed to let yourself actually have. This concept may be easier to understand if you think in terms of something more tangible, such as money. Obviously, Bill Gates, Richard Branson, and Warren Buffet are examples of people who are programmed with very high havingness for wealth; most people couldn’t allow themselves to be that wealthy. There are people who inherit (or win in a lottery) large amounts of money, only to find it all gone in a few years. They did not have enough havingness on money to be able to keep it. You can use NLP processes such as submodality belief changes, reimprinting, core transformation, imperative self and change history to increase your havingness. You can use the Energetic NLP processes to increase your havingness for health. Remember that the audios and videos will
Science has shown that everything that exists, including your body, has an energy field guide you in how to clear and reset your havingness on health. You can increase your havinginess just by having the intention, when doing the clearing processes that you are clearing blocks to your havingness and setting your havingness for health and healing at a higher level. Clear unconscious liming beliefs and programming on health We have all been unconsciously programmed on health and healing. For example, beliefs that certain illnesses are incurable or can’t be improved (there are many, many documented cases of people healing incurable diseases). Or that you will get arthritis as you age. Or that your health is determined by your genetics and that can’t be changed. See the recent scientific research on the “epigenetics” to learn that genes can be turned on and off!. NLP has many powerful processes for clearing limiting beliefs and programming on health. You can also use energetic processes to clear limiting beliefs.
Clear energetic programming on health Energy contains information. If that seems surprising, remember that computers, CDs, DVDs, mobile phones, radar, radio stations, human speech, and TV stations all use forms of energy to transmit information from one place to another. The information in the energy in your energy field includes programming that has a profound affect on your health. After you clear the energetic programming, you will have much greater access to the enormous healing abilities of your body. Learn how to absorb less energy from other people People tend to absorb energy from other people; especially when they are emotional. You can interact with people without absorbing or holding onto their energy. You can look at this in 2 ways. Firstly the key is to be able to maintain the boundaries and integrity of your energy field without (most of the time) creating a wall between you and other people. Use “The rose between” process to be able to interact well with other people without absorbing their energy. Secondly, if you are impacted by other peoples’ energy then take this as an opportunity, a present, to clear something in your energy field that needs addressing. Whenever we work with others it is an opportunity to also heal ourselves. Connecting to your true essence A key goal with all the Energetic NLP processes is to be able to connect to your own true essence, enabling you to feel comfortable in your own skin and not affected by the opinions, beliefs and energies of others. As you learn to increase your connection to your own essence, you will have ever great access to your own inner wisdom and spiritual nature. All the processes above will contribute to this and there is a very specific process at the end of this article, to help you feel and strengthen this connection. Everyone needs validation Everyone has a deep need and hunger to feel validated and acknowledged, but most of us rarely experience validation. Often parents try to validate their children, themselves and each other; they say positive things, but this often does not deeply touch the other person. Try out the Energetic NLP validation process at the end of this article for yourself. Being validated for who you are can have a profound effect on your health. And it adds
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HEALTH
immeasurably to a person's ability to have a deep satisfaction with themselves and their lives. If you do these processes on a regular basis we believe that it will enhance you health, vitality, and joy. We hope that you will try them for a week and see how you feel. It is much, much easier to learn the processes when you are guided through them at first. You can be guided through these processes by using the simple steps here, the audios and videos that are provided as a gift for you from www.energeticnlp. com. If you prefer, you can order the CD from of these simple processes mentioned here, “Energetic NLP in 10 mins a day” from www. empoweringhealth.co.uk. Each track is only a 5-10 minutes in length so that even the busiest person can use them. We are also have CDs for specific health challenges, e.g. fatigue, well woman issues, the flu, physical injuries. We look forward to hearing about how you have used these processes to increase your health and vitality. Here are 4 short Energetic NLP processes below for you to try out for yourself. Practice them a few times so that you can just activate them in a second without using the directions and notice your experience and that of others. Clearing your energy Be aware of the sensations in your body. Imagine there is an ocean of healing and transformative energy Imagine that there is a magnet in that ocean of energy that attracts energies that are not yours, old emotions, limiting beliefs, pictures, and programming into the ocean where it is dissolved. You do not need to consciously know what is being released. Trust that your unconscious mind and spirit can choose the right energies to release. Imagine a shower of gold energy flowing down from above, washing through your energy field, and then flowing into the earth.
Be aware of the sensations in your body.
Notice how you feel now. Retrieving your energy Sit comfortably with your feet flat on the floor, arms and legs uncrossed Take 2-3 deep breaths and allow your muscles to relax Close your eyes and imagine a golden ball of energy above your head Pay attention to the golden ball and allow the ball to retrieve your energy from wherever you may have left it – in different places, with various people If you hear, feel or see things shifting this is great. If you don’t just imagine, it will be happening anyway Just imagine the ball is retrieving your energy, you don’t need any more conscious thought about what or how it is happening. When you feel you have finished for the moment, imagine the golden ball cleaning up your energy, charging it up and beaming only your real energy back into your body to revitalize you; allowing anyone else’s energy to just go down into the ground When this is complete dissolve the images, some people send them into the earth for recycling into positive energy, others make up their own metaphors
Art Giser is the creator of Energetic NLP. An NLP trainer since 1985, he was awed how people could transform their lives using transformative energy work, intuition development and spiritual development. He then began to explore combining these different areas in order to create something that was more powerful than any one system alone. The result is Energetic NLP. Over the last 25 years, Art has continued to develop Energetic NLP into the wonderful field that it is today. He has studied with all the developers of NLP. Leslie Cameron-Bandler was his mentor and he was part of her research team that developed Imperative Self Analysis. He studied with incredible energy practitioners who taught from Western, Indian, Philippine and Brazilian traditions and has had the extreme good fortune to receive two "empowerments" directly from the Dalai Lama. Art is based in San Francisco and travels regularly to Brazil, London and Paris to teach Energetic NLP, as well as running training programmes in the USA. You can contact Art on art@energeticNLP.com www.energeticNLP.com
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Energetic NLP: Validation If you want to really validate someone Ask that person to imagine a symbol in front of them and let it represent the ways they would like to be validated, acknowledged and praised Ask them to be open to receiving validation and acknowledgement Notice what happens You can validate yourself in just the same way. You can even use this process with total strangers you meet. Just imagine a symbol in front of them for how they want and need to be valued and acknowledged, and imagine validating it. Amazingly, the change in them is often visible. The power seems to be in the fact that they receive validation in the way it works for them. What about offering the same to everyone you know and see how the world changes? Connecting to your true essence Imagine a drop of your own, true, deep and beautiful essence Notice what it looks like, sounds like and feels like Imagine putting it on the crown of your head, let it grow bigger and bigger and let it filter throughout the cells of your body, right down to the tips of your fingers and toes As it passes through every cell it resets the energy in that cell to your true essence, strengthening your own healing system, calming your emotions and clarifying your thinking Please let us know how you benefit from using these processes. We wish you ever increasing health, vitality, and joy in being alive! Longer processes are available from one of our CDs, free teleworkshops, and Art’s and Olive's training programmes.
Olive Hickmott is a Health, Wellness and Energy coach, who has worked closely with Art, sponsored his first programmes in the UK and now works with the community of worldwide practitioners. She is always an engaging speaker at conferences and local NLP groups. She is the architect of the New Perspectives series of books and CDs and has published the only Energetic NLP book, Recover your energy, for people with major fatigue (including ME, MS and cancer). Several Energetic NLP CDs, focused on particular health challenges, are available from www.empoweringhealth.co.uk You can contact Olive on olive@empoweringhealth.co.uk To learn more about EnergeticNLP events go to www.energeticNLP.co.uk and join this newsletter. You will get free entry to our monthly teleworkshops in addition to a regular newsletter about all EnergeticNLP events worldwide.
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What happens when a client threatens to sue? Useful guidelines for NLP Practitioners
Gavin Mitchell, Managing Director at Towergate Professional Risks, provide some answers.
H
ave you ever thought about what would happen if a client or third party alleged that you had not acted professionally and threatened to sue you? The financial consequences could be significant, not to mention the stress and possible harm to your professional reputation. ANLP has worked with Towergate Professional Risks to negotiate preferential rates for members on Professional Liability Insurance, which could protect you in the event of such an incident. Professional Liability Insurance gives practitioners a way of protecting themselves in the event that they should be sued as a result of their business activities. WHAT DOES IT COVER? Professional Liability Insurance is designed to cover as broad a range as possible of ‘civil liability’ – in other words, most of the things you could get sued for as a result of your business activities. Typically, it includes cover for Professional Indemnity, Public Liability, Products Liability and Libel and Slander. WHAT EXACTLY DOES EACH OF THESE SECTIONS COVER? Professional Indemnity relates to the advisory or therapeutic element of your work. For example, a client might allege that you have carried out inappropriate treatment with them, or failed to carry out necessary actions, and that they have suffered a financial loss or injury as a result. Public Liability relates to any other type of loss, injury, or damage to property or individual arising out of your business activities. NLP is not a particular physical therapy and therefore the risk of loss, injury as a direct result is very low, however, if for example a client visited your office or
home, and tripped over a briefcase you had left lying around, you could be legally liable for their financial loss or injury. If as part of your work you give clients any products for use outside of your appointments (such as CDs or books), you could also be liable for any losses occurring as a result of the use of these products, even if you did not manufacture or produce them yourself. The Products Liability section covers and protects against this type of claim. The final section then, is Libel & Slander. To many, this may seem like a strange type of insurance cover for NLP professionals to have. However, the NLP profession is a very collaborative one. Many experienced practitioners will share their insights and experiences with like-minded individuals through speaking at conferences and exhibitions, or publishing their views in journals, websites and podcasts. Before they know it, some practitioners could find their words and opinions are seen by thousands of people worldwide. If you shared your thoughts with other practitioners and inadvertently made a comment that another party felt was defamatory against them, they may consider taking action against you for defamation. YOU NOW KNOW WHAT IS COVERED, BUT YOU MAY ASK YOURSELF ‘DO I REALLY NEED IT?’ Professional Liability insurance is not currently a legal requirement. However, a number of professional associations
– including ANLP – strongly recommend it. Claims for compensation from clients are becoming more and more common in an age of ‘no win, no fee’ personal injury lawyers, and a large claim could be very damaging to a sole trader or small firm without the necessary insurance in place. Even if a client was unsuccessful in suing you, the legal costs of defending the claim could still be significant, and would be covered by the insurance policy. What’s more, adequate insurance offers a valid benefit to your clients, which you should communicate to both existing and potential new ones. Insurance provides your clients with the peace of mind that if something should go wrong, there are funds in place to compensate them in the event of a loss or injury. If you are unfortunate, and a claim should arise, the financial backing of an insurer is not the only support you can call on. Without an insurance policy you would be left to fight any compensation claims on your own. Quite apart from the financial implications, there would be the worry and uncertainty of defending the claim. If a claim should arise, an insurance broker will guide you through every stage of the process, from initial notification right through to conclusion. Along the way they will guide you as to what you should do and say, as well as what you shouldn’t. It is in the event of a claim that their expertise comes into its own.
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NLP
NLP and the
Art of Deciding By Robbie Steinhouse
I
n this article I want to explain the NLP principles and the neurological research that underpin my recently published book Brilliant Decision Making. At the end of the piece I shall outline where these have led me. NLP and Decision Making Part of my purpose in writing the book was to make some key NLP models, such as the Well Formed Outcome and the Logical Levels, accessible for the non-expert general reader. For a long time I was unsure how exactly to do this, but one morning I woke up thinking about the rather slick manual I had received with my new Ipod the previous evening – a ‘quick start guide’, a meaty ‘how to do everything manual’, and then a detailed ‘trouble shooting guide’ – and suddenly realized I had found my key. The quick start guide would be a ‘decision simulator’, an eight-step process based on the Well Formed Outcome. The trouble shooting section would be based on the Logical Levels. In the middle would be the ‘meaty’ fuller section, with a number of other NLP concepts featuring. One such concept is congruence, which lies at the heart of good decision making. Good decisions are congruent ones, ones where
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A good decision is not necessarily one that works out perfectly
‘head, heart and gut’ all say ‘yes’ to the decision. It’s important to understand that a ‘good’ decision is not necessarily one that works out perfectly. Circumstances change, and what seems – and is – a good decision at one moment may turn out to be less than ideal later on. But there is no methodology for making perfect decisions, only one for making the best one you can at any given moment. Such a methodology centres round congruence. In addition to increasing the chances of favourable outcomes, congruent decisions are rarely regretted, even if circumstances change radically and it turns out that the decision has to be reversed or changed. Incongruent decisions on the other hand are often accompanied by justifications, such as an expert has told the person they should do x, or that conventional wisdom says they should do y. In a fastchanging and complex world, such decisions often turn out to lead to unfavourable outcomes. Even more often, they turn out to be
NLP
congruent decisions are rarely regretted causes of regret: even when the outcome has been favourable, the person who hustles themselves into a decision ‘against their better judgement’ is often left pondering how much better things could have been if they had been true to themselves. A decision once made has to be implemented. I find the concept of TOTE very helpful here. Many people see decision making as a series of discrete steps: you research, you decide, you implement. But actually they merge into one another: a good decision is a flexible one, that leaves room for change as you implement and the world turns out not to be quite as expected. Decisions are models not theories: begin with a simple model, try it out, amend the model, try it out (and so on: test, operate, test, exit…) I learnt this the hard way having to make big changes in my business during the credit crunch: conventional wisdom was no longer working and I needed to move away from prevailing business theories to a more flexible approach. Decisions can also get stuck. The Logical Levels of Robert Dilts provides a perfect template for trouble-shooting in this kind of situation. What level have you got stuck at? Understanding this enables you to find the right procedure to ‘unstick’ it. The levels, remember, are: Spirit Identity Beliefs & Values Capabilities Behaviours Environment The statement ‘I can’t decide that here’ is worth unpacking. Is there a conflict between the decision and one’s mission or higher purpose? Does it not fit into the bigger context of one’s life? Is the inability at the level of identity (I can’t decide…), a feeling that the decision somehow challenges one’s self-concept? Does the decider lack permission or secretly feel that he or she does not deserve the outcome?
‘I can’t…’ Is decision stuck at the level of beliefs and values – it is somehow not possible or unimportant for the decider? Or does he or she lack the capabilities to decide or to implement? At the level of behaviour, does the decider have some instinct that this is somehow not right to do? At the level of environment – the person could decide somewhere else but not here. Is the decision affected by conflicting agendas of people around them in this place? Good decision makers learn to differentiate between a personal issue that is blocking their progress – time to refer to the ‘trouble shooting guide’ above – and the sense of incongruence when a decision is simply wrong. For example, I was recently working with a business coaching client who had to make a decision about restructuring their team. The client ‘knew’ the decision was the right one, in other words he was congruent about the decision, but at the same time he was afraid of having an empty desk. If he delegated all of his work, he would have nothing to do and therefore he would be ‘worthless’ – an issue at the identity level. With a bit of help from NLP, during the session the client resolved this issue and he went away able to implement the decision. The concept of framing also plays a key part in good decision making. Good decision makers are able to use the ‘as if’ frame to work through various options and consider their consequences. Poor decision makers are often stuck in one frame, and often one perceptual position, too. This is how it looks to me, now… The ability to examine an issue from different viewpoints is essential both to formulating a good decision and to putting it into practice. Neurology Research on how we actually make decisions has been revolutionized by various scanning and brain-imaging techniques. And this new research has in turn changed our model of decision making from one that is purely rational to one which is driven by ‘informed emotion’. This, I feel, strongly justifies the NLP approach to such matters: our
rapport - Summer 2010
| 33
NLP
A good decision is a flexible one
insistence on somatic wisdom and on the many limitations of formal, conscious thought is borne out by what science (that most rational of activities) is discovering. For example, experiments show areas of the brain ‘lighting up’ as the brain unconsciously considers a decision: a kind of inner debate is going on. More spectacular still is the fact that some research has shown that this debate often concludes with one particular part of the brain lighting up, and eight seconds after this occurs, the subject then claims consciously to have made a decision. Other experiments show that people who have become cut off from their emotions become incapable of making decisions. The human brain has a big neocortex sitting on top of a limbic system which is similar to other mammal’s brains. The former is essentially rational, and the latter emotional (though one must be careful of overgeneralising here!), and the main link between them is an area behind the eyeball called the orbitofrontal cortex or OFT. When this is damaged, people appear to be highly rational and unemotional, but actually can’t decide even the most basic things. In an excellent book called The Decisive Moment, American writer Jonah Lehrer quotes a number of such experiments by neurologist Antonio Damaso, including one where a man with OFT damage was asked to decide a time for a meeting, and was still deliberating this 30 minutes later. Decision making is closely tied in with the NLP notion of unconscious competence, and this in turn is linked to the networks created in the brain by ‘dopamine neurons’. These neurons effectively wire themselves slowly into expert networks – largely as a result of our making mistakes. I quote Niels Bohr to my students – ‘an expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a
very narrow field’ – and they often find it a consoling thought (especially those who have an inbuilt ‘driver’ telling them to ‘be perfect’). But it seems that neurology bears the great Danish physicist out. It is these networks that we key into when asking ourselves whether we are congruent about a decision. There are at least two levels of unconscious competence that we need to tap into when making a decision. One is our knowledge about the area about which we are deciding – our experience in business or relationships or our knowledge of the property market (or wherever). The other is a kind of meta-competence, in decision making itself. It is this meta-competence I set out to describe in my book. If I could sum up its message very simply, it would be that decisions are organic things. They need to grow and be fostered. They begin with research, and slowly crystallize as more is learnt. Often the right decision, which seems so hard to reach at one time, ‘makes itself’ once more has been learnt. One has to trust this process – and one’s instincts about the process, which manifest themselves in the form of feelings of congruence or incongruence. Once the decision is made, its implementation has to be subtle and timely – swift if it has to be, slow if that is what is needed. The model of the ‘decisive’ person who makes a decision then drives it through, relentlessly and as quickly as possible, despite all kinds of opposition, is rarely a good one. None of this should, perhaps, surprise us students, practitioners and masters of NLP. But it is good to see the presuppositions of our discipline working so effectively in an area to which it has not traditionally been applied.
Robbie is author of Brilliant Decision Making and Head of Training at NLP School. Contact him at robbie@nlpschool.com
34 | Summer 2010 - rapport
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NLP
Beyond Words: the Deeper Language of Leadership That TV debate – and what happened next Presentation expert Judy Apps talks with Caitlin Collins
T
he recent election was electric – I don’t remember being so riveted by a UK vote since thirteen years ago when Labour overthrew the Tory rule. This time my effective disenfranchisement in the ocean of blue that is a safe Conservative seat was increasing my interest in the possibility of the Lib Dems moving into a position to do something about electoral reform. So, having missed the party leaders’ TV debate at which Nick Clegg stepped into the spotlight, I was delighted to have the chance to hear about it later with the expert insight of Judy Apps. Hindsight lends a fascinating further dimension to her report, as we have the benefit of knowing what happened next in the election and its aftermath! Presentation and voice coach Judy was invited to comment on the debate at a live screening hosted by the communications agency Fishburn Hedges after they approached ANLP to find them a body language expert. Fishburn Hedges brought in an illustrious crowd of 100-plus people from big companies to watch it; guest commentators included expert pundit Stryker McGuire, contributing editor to Newsweek, as well as Judy, and they were joined by TV crews from Sky News and NHK, Japan’s national broadcast station, to record the party atmosphere and instant reactions. ‘I was there as the unknown quantity in the red dress to add a little colour!’ says Judy. Judy’s guidance takes us below the surface rhetoric of what the politicians are saying to salvage the deeper nuances, although, as she explains, ‘You don’t need to be a body language or voice expert – many people have a good sense of whether somebody is being real or not. The calibration and modelling skills of NLP just enable you to do this even better. For example, it’s easy to spot that Gordon Brown is largely undemonstrative on the outside. Does that mean he lacks passion inside? Probably not – but people may not warm to him because at some level they recognise the incongruence of a man who is masking his passion. Such masking is often learned early in life and then becomes an unconscious habit. Now as an adult, the tension of public speaking produces the mask; sometimes, in more private moments, we can see that the mask disappears.’ Hearing Judy begins with the voices of the three debaters. ‘Nervousness reduces the range of the voice. Gordon Brown’s voice was the same narrow range we usually hear from him. Gordon doesn’t reveal much in public. His voice doesn’t vary in tone: it’s a produced voice, low, manufactured from deep in the chest, not revealing his emotions, although it occasionally comes out higher when he’s fearful
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– “I don’t really accept that” can come out very high! The other two are more expressive speakers. However even they don’t really reveal personal feeling but rather express a generalised passionate energy or serious energy in the same way as an actor would. There’s not much of the vocal resonance that would reveal more personal emotions inside. Cameron and Clegg spoke with the same speed and emphasis. Then Gordon picked this up too, increasing his energy and speed. I was thinking that mismatching is also a skill – one of them could have stepped back, slowed down. I suppose it was set up to be against the clock, with time pressures. They were all clearly under pressure.’ Looking Physiologically, Cameron and Clegg share a good debating stance, standing solidly, feet apart, toes not too far apart, shoulders back, with arms ready to move. However there are some significant differences. ‘Nick Clegg comes across as more genuinely relaxed, more at ease in his skin. This makes him seem less dictatorial and more direct and honest. We also trust him more because he uses open hand gestures with the palms up, and he also occasionally shrugs and admits that he doesn’t know something. David Cameron shows a patrician side when raising his head to make a point and he points his finger as though it’s natural to him to lay down the law. At same time he also makes efforts to be “Dave”, so he’ll stand unevenly in a studied casual look. We saw these two sides to him in the debate.’ In Brown’s case, Judy observes, ‘It’s wonderful how often descriptions of body language are also straightforward descriptions of character. Gordon’s solid body is unbending! He’s heavy on his feet, with solid stiff shoulders that square up to the world; I heard him described recently by Rory Bremner as like someone in a bear suit who’s taken off the head! And as Peter Mandelson has said, he’s not a man you can easily spin for TV! It was noticeable in the debate how Gordon is more engaged with his ideas than with the people he’s addressing. He finds it difficult to think and connect; when he’s using his brain you can see that his eyes go off into his own world. But one to one in less combative circumstances he can connect well, looking the other person in the eye, with a natural smile.’ Looking deeper, Judy points to more subtle physical indicators to
They were all clearly under pressure
NLP
Nervousness reduces the range of the voice ‘Presentation coaches encourage clients to speak with the voice of passion and determination. The message from the leaders’ debate was that this isn’t enough if it’s just a manufactured voice-skill. All three speakers did indeed adopt an upbeat, determined, energetic style, but since they all did it as a coached device – and in fact overdid it in competing with each other – it lacked impact and became monotonous. ‘As listeners we resonate with a speaker who is in tune with himself or herself. People who are in tune with themselves are no longer trying to present themselves in a particular way. There’s a big difference between posturing, which is holding yourself in such a way as to try to appear confident, and congruent authenticity, when your posture is aligned and balanced and genuinely expresses the energy and freedom within. From time to time Nick Clegg was able to be like this in the debate, and then he came across as stronger and more sincere. ‘Our political leaders get so much criticism. I find it normal and reassuring that they have the same reactions to big occasions as anyone else! They get scared too! And they find the strength to get up there and go into performance mode. It’s better than curling up in a ball or running away! Another time maybe they will allow the fear to flow through them and stay present in the moment – that’s when we’ll see both their magnificence and their humanity and be truly moved.’
watch out for. The lips can be significant. ‘David Cameron licks his lips when he feels stuck; they go tight and determined when he’s in a bind. Nick Clegg licks his lips between sentences; it’s a common indicator of a dry mouth, often associated with nervousness. Gordon is different: he presses his lips together as a sign of a softer emotion that he’s shutting away with his mouth movement.’ Feeling Judy has some advice for leaders – and aspiring leaders. ‘There’s magic in a voice that resonates with the speaker’s desire to communicate his or her own truth. The person breathes with intention, and intention turns into sound – glorious, varied, subtle sound. Every breath is different as it takes up the intention and every sound is different as it expresses that intention. Not much of that was happening in this debate! If it had been, we would have been inspired! As it wasn’t, we weren’t, and many of those at the Fishburn Hedges event confessed to being bored.
Predicting Now for the hindsight… could Judy have foretold the eventual coalition? ‘Well, it’s interesting how often I’ve been linking Cameron and Clegg in my comments on the debate!’ she acknowledges. ‘If we set aside the policies for a moment, these two men seem to come out of the same mould; perhaps because their confident body language and voice played a big part in why they were both chosen as leaders. You could even say they were both based on Tony Blair! All were the same age at election – 43 – and all were prepared by their education and their work to be excellent public speakers. Maybe in the negotiations after the election they just felt comfortable with each other. The old research finding that over 90% of rapport is non-verbal remains as true as ever!’ Mmm… I’m just hoping our new Lib-Dem Con defies its unfortunate abbreviation to truly come up with the goods and deliver electoral reform along with a radical rethink on the economy and almost everything else!
Judy Apps: www.voiceofinfluence.co.uk
rapport - Summer 2010
| 37
Persuasion BUSINESS
The Art of Business Success By Andy Coote
T
hroughout his long business career, Bill Docherty MBE, BA, CA has made significant voluntary contributions to business organisations and charitable causes. His MBE, awarded in June 2009, recognises this balance. As MD of Persuasion,
His career began in the Public Sector. After graduating from Strathclyde University, Bill worked for 10 years as a District Inspector of Taxes and in senior investigation roles for the Inland Revenue. In 1986, Bill changed direction and chose to train as an accountant “which was a bit of a shock to the system after the power that the previous role had given me.” He joined Arthur Andersen as an Articled Manager and, with Andersen, he moved to Manchester where he was headhunted first into Price Waterhouse and from there, as a Partner, into Robson Rhodes. It was at this time that his career took an accidental, but significant change of direction. Visiting a print business in the North West, where, against the general trend, turnover and profit were going up significantly, Bill decided to find out why. “The owner pointed out a note on his wall that just had ‘£2 million’ written on it. He said ‘that's what we are going to make next year’. I was intrigued as to how he came to that conclusion and he told me he’d been on the Anthony Robbins course and offered to lend me some tapes.” The tapes made an impression and when Robbins subsequently came to London, he turned up -- in his business suit. It was a culture shock. “There were 2000 people of all ages. It was a great weekend, though when they talked about doing a firewalk, I was sceptical. I thought, ‘no American is going to get 2000 Brits who’ve never met before walking over burning coals’. Yet at 1am, I was there, walking over the coals. At that point, I thought to myself –‘there's something here’.” Bill took NLP courses with John Seymour,
The owner pointed out a note on his wall that just had ‘£2 million’ written on it he brings his experience and training to bear to help grow businesses and to change the way people communicate at work. His background in accounting and professional services combines with his NLP skills to offer insights into winning and developing business. The first thing I notice about Bill is his accent – he is from Bellshill, in the mining and steel areas to the south of Glasgow –which he still retains despite being based in Manchester for many years. “I doubt it’ll ever go now,” he says.
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Michael Breen and Richard Bandler amongst others. Even as he was developing his skills, Bill found that NLP was contributing to his success. He took a specialist taxation office that was earning £300,000 in fees and losing £150,000 and in 12 months turned it into a £1 million per annum turnover with £500,000 of profits. Later, he took on an investigation group and took that from £100,000 per year to £1.8 million. Taking the theories of NLP and applying them to business is what Bill has been doing ever since. About eight years ago, he took a one year course with Richard Bandler. “It was three or four days each month at a location in London. It was a course where I didn’t come away with a lot of notes because we spent much of the time in a hypnotic trance. Bandler promised ‘I will give you everything I've got’ and I’ve got every reason to believe he did. The cost was horrific, but at the end of the course, I was able to meet any problem and see a solution for it. Within 15 minutes, I know what interventions I’m going to use. How I know that, I’m not certain but I just know that I can solve the problem. I can see feel and hear what is going on and what is needed to maximise the potential of people.” The underlying principle of Bill’s work is that when you meet someone, you need to get inside their head and understand who they are. “I’ve developed models that apply to the roles people have to perform in business and how they must make decisions, regardless of the individual. By understanding the thought and decision processes of the person you are seeking to influence, it is much more likely that you will have success.” Bill gives an example of this, “A Commander type, like Lord Sugar, will just want a summary; to know the effects on shareholders, the community and on results. They make decisions quickly, so you need to have your facts prepared, know your price and be able to quickly answer any questions that arise. If you have to defer, you may lose the opportunity.”
BUSINESS
no American is going to get 2000 Brits who’ve never met before walking over burning coals
A study has shown that CEOs are typically only in place for about 18 months, Bill tells me. “They are looking to make an impact on the market and favour new or radical ideas. Offering them more of the same is unlikely to gain their attention.” A similar approach can be taken to preparing for promotion, especially moving from a senior manager position to Director or Partner level. “Many managers continue applying the decision strategies of their current role and fail to impress. They need to adopt the decision strategies for the role they are pursuing, and shift the way they talk, write, present and prepare reports.” Was it a daring thing to introduce a concept like NLP into an accountancy firm in the early 1990s? “It was more daring of the partners to allow me to just get on and do it. I told them that I was setting a budget for the coming year of £1 million in turnover and £500,000 in profits. They just laughed but let me do it and I delivered. It’s results that count. In fact, I eventually got them up to £3.8 million and a 50% margin”. In 1996, Andersen headhunted him back as a Partner to build a new practice. “My budget for four years was £5 million in turnover from a zero base at 50% margin. Although I was not allowed to solicit members of my team at Robson Rhodes to join us, apart from one team member, they all spontaneously applied to join Andersen because whilst Robson Rhodes were a mid tier firm at that point, Andersen were the top accounting firm in the world. I gave them the skills to interact with people and showed them how to influence their market. You need to know the size of your market, go for the influencers, get their attention and then tell your story.” Bill enjoys empowering people and giving them the vision that they need to perform better. In 2000 he set up Persuasion and,
to build profile, he joined the Professional Speakers Association (PSA) and went out speaking. “The idea was to get myself alongside influencers and to find business opportunities from that. I was able to influence between 50 and 200 people each time I spoke and that led to further work.” Bill’s business has changed positively since the recession began last year. “I was doing some work for an international accountancy group, showing them how to win business. One of the member firms asked me if I would be prepared to control a part of their business, with payment as a percentage of results. The objective was to add £1 million to the bottom line in years two and three. I was given full authority because we needed to make substantial changes to how they work.” Developing senior people is also a core activity. “I’m privileged that a legal firm is putting 20 people at a time onto a programme with me as they approach the level of partnership with the firm and I have six months and 24 hours of contact time to develop them and transform them. When they arrive, they are not yet demonstrating the behaviours they need to be promoted to Partner. I work with them to change their internal strategies to reflect the patterns of a Partner so that they become that person in everything they do. They become true professionals with appropriate confidence and appropriate stature with whom I would be happy to be a partner.” The award of MBE was proposed by three of the organisations with which Bill has been involved as a volunteer -- the British Red Cross, The Portico Library in Manchester and the General Commissioners. “As part of my basic training as a Manager for Arthur Andersen, we were shipped out to Chicago for an induction course and part of that course was the suggestion that you should give back 10% of your efforts to the community. I've given 10 to 15% of my
time and effort to the community over many years.” So what are the qualities that earned him his MBE? “I'm fascinated by people. It was the Tony Robbins experience that really began the change in me and I can see what others can be if they choose. NLP has helped me to help them to achieve that. Without being able to apply my skills in NLP, I wouldn’t have received the MBE.” Business acumen and a desire to see people excel are the skills that Bill takes into his charitable and community work. “British Red Cross needed to deal with the senior emergency agencies in the UK. I helped them to be able to communicate more clearly with the leaders of the Police, Fire and Government Agencies. I also help charity fundraisers to maximise their income at a time when charity donations are generally down.” Bill also recognises the need to forge new business alliances. As Manchester Chairman of the Institute of Directors (IOD), “I brought them together with the NW Regional Development Agency and a group from both agencies helped to create the seven-year strategy for Northwest Business.” All Business Leaders have the potential to be role models. “Business people could give so much back – and many already do. They will gain so much, too, in understanding how business works. When I got involved with the YMCA in Manchester, I discovered that they were a three star hotel, a nursery and a health club. When we did a survey we found that as many as 10,000 people a week interacted with the YMCA. Where else can you get that sort of influence and experience?” Talking to Bill, I got an understanding of the qualities that his supporters saw in him when they proposed him for his MBE. He makes positive change happen. His blend of accounting skills, experience running Professional Services groups and his NLP skills provide a powerful combination for helping people to succeed and his philosophy of giving back is one from which we can all learn.
Contact Bill Tel: 0161 434 6292 billdocherty@persuasion.uk.com www.persuasion.uk.com
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RESEARCH
NLP and education research report presented at the education show Richard Churches and Paul Tosey update ANLP Members about some leading-edge NLP research
C
fBT Education Trust has just published a 115-page research report into the impact of NLP, co-authored by John Carey, Geraldine Hutchinson, Jeff Jones and ourselves. A foreword by John West-Burnham (Professor of Educational Leadership, St Mary’s University College) describes the research as ‘…a balance of authoritative thinking about the nature of the learning process combined with compelling and convincing case studies.’ The research was presented at the at the Education Show (NEC Birmingham) on March 6th to a packed audience of delegates and will be the subject of two conference presentations at the Second International NLP Research Conference at Cardiff University on 3rd July 2010. The paper, titled ‘Neuro-linguistic programming and learning: teacher case studies on the impact of NLP in education’, reports on evidence from 24 teacher-led action research case studies. It builds on the CfBT Education Trust paper published in 2008 by Richard Churches and John West-Burnham, called ‘Leading learning through relationships: the implications of Neuro-linguistic programming for personalisation and the children’s agenda in England’. The new research focused on two gaps in the research literature: The absence of any formal and systematic literature review of evidence in relation to the impact and use of NLP in education The lack of any substantive teacher-led and classroom-based action research in this area. To ensure a consistent approach, we chose to use the General Teaching Council of England (GTCE)’s `Teacher Learning Academy’ (TLA) framework as a process structure for designing and implementing action research (CfBT Education Trust was closely involved in the development of this framework). This meant that, should the teachers wish, they could submit their write-up to the TLA for professional recognition of their work. So far three teachers have submitted their work and achieved accreditation at Level 1. One teacher has taken this further and is currently engaged in a Masters programme at the University of Newcastle that is focused on the theory and practice of NLP in the primary classroom. Teachers were given a choice as to which parts of the NLP training they focused on for their case study write-ups. However, as is noted above, all the teachers were trained in a number of areas of NLP and most made use of a wider range of learning than has been included in
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A balance of authoritative thinking about the nature of the learning process combined with compelling and convincing case studies the actual research. All of the case studies demonstrate significant impact in relation to teacher development, with many showing positive impacts on pupil learning outcomes. Most teachers focused on whole classroom evidence, others on individual children, and a few of the case studies contain evidence for both. Some case studies targeted an evaluation of a single technique (e.g. the research by Rachael Coull which focused on the use of anchoring) whilst others looked at the effect of a wide range of areas – as in the case study by Simon Potter which discusses: anchoring, meta model questioning, Milton model language patterns, nonverbal communication, rapport, submodalities and the use of the well formed outcome process. Teachers were positive in their comments across the full age range from Nursery classes to Year 13 students. There is also a spread of contexts from small rural primary school to large urban secondary school. Although there are some variations in the extent to which teachers found training in NLP useful, all of the case studies indicate evidence in relation to either the development of interpersonal skills (the ability to communicate with and influence others) or intrapersonal capacity (self-management, personal capacity and the management of emotions). In many cases teachers also reported significant change in the behaviour of both individual children and classes. Even where one teacher had been unable to note specific effects on class behaviour (such as in the research by Stephanie Kidd) they still nonetheless were able to identify improvements in their own feelings about their capacity to deal with classroom situations. Typical commentary includes things such as the following by Joanna
RESEARCH
All of the case studies demonstrate significant impact in relation to teacher development, with many showing positive impacts on pupil learning outcomes of the wide range of methods used and variations in the quality of some of the research. It is sometimes implied that there is little or no evidence base for areas of teacher professional practice such as NLP or in relation to NLP in general. However, as the systematic review demonstrates, there has been a growing and developing education literature which refers to both adults and children right from the time of the publication of the earliest popular books on NLP and teaching and learning. Furthermore, criticisms (where they exist) are often made at a theoretical or ‘in principle’ level rather than from an evidencebased position. The review highlighted two other issues: What NLP research literature there is, is rarely cross-referenced to, or cited within, the NLP-informed research, even though some topics have been researched before and the results are accessible. Few researchers or commentators have carried out any form of literature review prior to the conducting of research.
Dobson and Helen Fuhr: Through our discussions we have observed that NLP enables students to engage and contribute usefully to lessons. Students have been able to explain themselves more clearly and are able to problem solve and bring themselves to suitable and workable solutions through guidance and communication with the teacher. There has been a significant improvement in the levels of confidence shown by pupils in the classroom and this has led to increased motivation which has manifested itself both in improved contribution and work rate in class and improved quality of homework. Joanna Dobson and Helen Fuhr, St Benet Biscop High School The other major contribution of the paper is the first systematic and comprehensive literature review of research evidence into the impact of NLP in education. This discusses the contents of 111 papers and references, which include quantitative and qualitative research evidence. The majority of published work was found to be supportive of the use of NLP in schools and education although, as the authors point out, this should only be considered as an interim finding because The full research paper is available to download from the ANLP website at www.anlp.org For further information about this research contact Richard Churches at rchurches@cfbt.com www.cfbt.com/research Richard Churches is Principal Consultant for National Programmes at CfBT Education Trust He co-wrote the highly acclaimed NLP for Teachers: How to be a highly effective teacher and The NLP Toolkit: For teachers, trainers and school leaders with Roger Terry. Richard is also the author of the Effective Classroom Communication Teachers’ Pocketbook, and a further book, the Brain and Learning Teachers’ Pocketbook, written with Eleanor Dommett (Open University and Oxford University) and Ian Devonshire (Institute for the Future of the Mind, Oxford University), will be available in January 2011.
Paul Tosey is a Senior Lecturer in the School of Management at Surrey University. He is a leading authority on the academic appraisal of NLP and co-author with Jane Mathison of NeuroLinguistic Programming: A Critical Appreciation for Managers and Developers. He chaired the First International NLP Research Conference in 2008 and is editor of the ANLP journal, `Current Research in NLP’.
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TRAINING & WORKSHOPS
Becoming a Psychotherapist By Pamela Gawler-Wright
A Common Question Every week I spend at least a couple of unpaid hours responding to phone calls and e-mails from people wanting information and advice about becoming a registered Psychotherapist. Unsurprisingly given BeeLeaf’s orientation, most of these queries come from people with an NLP background. Do I pounce on selling these hopefuls BeeLeaf’s UKCP Accredited Training in Psychotherapy? No. Why not? After all, BeeLeaf Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy was the first NLP training organisation to take itself through the demands and costs of direct audit by the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP), becoming a UKCP Training and Accrediting Member Organisation, and creating a directly assessed route for registration for NLP oriented psychotherapists. In this process BeeLeaf has restructured to become a not-for-profit enterprise. Many people contact us asking for a shortcut to registration as a psychotherapist, having experienced little or no accredited psychotherapy training with which to compare their majority of NLP training. Most NLP courses are wonderful, life-changing experiences in personal development, however they do not prepare a person for the realities of qualifying and practicing with diverse members of the public in a mental health profession. BeeLeaf Trainees qualify by the established higher education system whereby a psychotherapist’s achievement is assessed based on training and practice record during genuinely vocational, experiential, academic and practice units of training. Entry at Intermediate level, for
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those with Accredited Prior Learning in NLP and/ or other psychotherapy related training, follows a process of written application, interview and references, including a mentoring session for those who are ready to enter in clinical practice, ensuring a rewarding and realistic transition to qualified professional. Registration is based on ongoing and final assessment processes that are externally examined and monitored, with appeals procedures, and on the way, progressive membership grades, now including student and trainee membership of UKCP. Modular training provides explicit stages of achievement. Feedback that is regular and recorded, from Trainers, Supervisors, Examiners and Peers, affords safe opportunities to improve in areas of challenge as a creative learner. This organic system supports the psychotherapist to develop their unique identity as a professional on their personal path of contribution to the mental health system, ranging from provision within the NHS to the corporate sector and private practice. Won’t I just be repeating what I’ve already done? Some elements of NLP training can gain Accredited Prior Learning recognition for qualification as a psychotherapist because they are comparable. Some elements of NLP Psychotherapy training cannot be replaced by other NLP training – because they simply do not cover what is needed. Those many certificated NLP Master Practitioners and Trainers whose application is successful to enter our training at Intermediate stage, do not take long to experience and luxuriate in the difference in comprehension, creative opportunity and practical flexibility that psychotherapy training inspires in them in furthering their NLP skills, application and knowledge. Here is a sample of typical student feedback we receive from those who have joined at Intermediate stage having already experienced extensive practice of NLP with members of the public: “When I first started on my Clinical Diploma in many ways I couldn't see the route ahead - I am now ready and excited about the next chapter on my way towards the Advanced Diploma. Through the journey, words and theory have translated into deeper feeling, understanding and empowerment and brought NLP alive for
me in a way that it really hadn't before. Indeed, practice and technique I had put to the back of my mind have come back in a completely new light. In some ways I walked in cynical, I now feel truly optimistic.” - Mark Bailey, NLP Therapist and Hypnotherapist A Long Journey to Where We Are Today I really empathise with the confusion, frustration and sense of contradiction experienced by so many people who want to turn their experience thus far as an NLP Master Practitioner or NLP Trainer into a recognised status as a provider of psychotherapy. When I began training as a psychotherapist, 20 years ago, things were very different from how they are today. Modalities such as Hypno-Psychotherapy were still working their way into the frame of the mainstream. NLP had yet to introduce itself as a modality of psychotherapy in its own right. In my early days, pre-qualification, training standards were even more patchy and the variable quality of experiential and academic support resulted in contrasting perceptions of what one needed to know or experience to be a safe, flexible and effective practitioner. Hours of voluntary service, to several UKCP organisations and as a member of two UKCP central committees, has afforded me the opportunity to witness a number of experimental systems for qualifying practitioners of NLP towards UKCP registration. When BeeLeaf began to put together its psychotherapy-oriented NLP Practitioner training, it was a one-off in response to a group of 12 psychotherapy trainees who wanted to learn NLP within a psychotherapeutic ethical philosophy. It soon became apparent that there was ongoing demand and we needed to follow the best guidelines available to insure quality and value for money in people’s already costly route to qualification. At that point, I and key members of BeeLeaf made a vow to ourselves – in developing our NLP training in accordance with psychotherapy principles and standards, we would not introduce any requirement for completion for which we could not see a direct benefit to the Trainee in terms of their quality of practice, employment and service to the client. After over a decade in this pursuit, we have yet to find a single requirement for UKCP registration that is not, or cannot be congruently adapted to be, of essential value to the successful development
TRAINING & WORKSHOPS of NLP certificate holder to professional NLP and Ericksonian Psychotherapist. These requirements, generic across psychotherapy and counselling training and their adaptation in our Accredited route, can be viewed in our prospectus available for download at www.beeleaf.com. Modelling Successful NLP Oriented Psychotherapists Because of the magical transformations in some of their clients that can be witnessed by any half-way competent practitioner of NLP or Ericksonian hypnotherapy, a strange myth grew up on the edges of the NLP community – Brief Therapists only need a Brief Training. As a result we are regularly contacted by people in the NLP community with a collection of certificates yet who are relatively early in their understanding of what psychotherapeutic practice is. Many have tried an approach of “adding on the psychotherapy piece” to an otherwise generic NLP experience and discovered why this simply does not prepare them for confident, flexible and creative NLP practice in the professional therapeutic arena. They have often come to the realisation later than they would have liked that apparent “short-cuts” actually take them no further towards a working maturation of their NLP and psychotherapy. As a result, (although often useful additions to their breadth of personal development), some shorter, less demanding trainings may have in fact extended the duration and cost of their qualifying path. As NLPers we can ask a very useful question to inform our developmental journey, and training choices. How did other effective and successful NLP Psychotherapists get to where they are? The most influential figures in NLP and Ericksonian psychotherapy, such as Stephen Gilligan, Richard Boltstadt, Bill O’Hanlon, all have extended qualifying training in psychotherapy and are individually licensed practitioners in their countries. In this country, I would rank amongst the most respected and influential of NLP Psychotherapists people like Lisa Wake, Juliet Grayson, Martin Weaver, some would include myself. All of us have included extensive and ongoing NLP training and experience with full and continuous psychotherapy training, being subject to ongoing Clinical Supervision and Continuing Professional Development. Where there were gaps in our original training, experience has taught us the necessity of fillings these with appropriate additional courses – so we know the myth about shortcuts.
With NLP and psychotherapy training, one cannot replace the other. Both can enhance and enrich the other and from this the practice of a respected NLP Psychotherapy modality is spreading, with application, research and a growing body of informed psychotherapists who each carry the reputation of NLP Psychotherapy forward. Coming Home I hope you experience your entry into psychotherapy training as I did. After feeling there
Psychotherapists do not assume it is them or their techniques that 'work' but the clients own organic growth and resources is some secret that you are struggling to define and share, you at last find yourself amongst those who also know it and are sharing and developing an experiential vocabulary to develop it. So many times I’ve heard trainees say after their first module “I feel like I’ve come home”. This also means deliverance from many disempowering myths that have found root in some areas of the NLP community, for example: MYTH 1 "Psychotherapy deals with the past, coaching deals with the future" This common myth is so false it demonstrates very little basic knowledge of psychotherapy and how contemporary applications work with the full timeline of a person, creatively using the interconnectedness of past, present and future. It also suggests limited appreciation of coaching! MYTH 2 "Psychotherapists are jealous of NLP because it works so fast" It may be a surprise to some how many things they thought were unique to NLP actually originated and are deeply established within psychotherapeutic practice and thinking. However, psychotherapists do not assume it is them or their techniques that “work”, but the client’s own organic growth and resources. Psychotherapists also understand that it is process that makes the difference to a person’s life and that people are in a constant movement of change. So although a tremendous amount of mainstream psychotherapy is built on a brief
therapy basis, most psychotherapists know that different clients may need different frequencies, durations and stages of therapy – and that the therapist’s egotistic impatience to how fast it is can actually be detrimental to the client taking up their power to make ecological, lasting change for themselves. MYTH 3 "If I have to study this stuff academically, I’ll lose my intuition and creativity" This was the scariest bit for me when I began psychotherapy training. I had already witnessed miracles from working with people in a playful, moment-by-moment co-created discovery. Surely having to explain it or analyse it would kill it. At BeeLeaf we take this striving for balance between academic (map) and experiential (territory) very seriously. We also have a passion for equal opportunities and recognise that some of the best potential psychotherapists do not come from a neat academic progress of school, degree, Masters degree. Part of the diversity that BeeLeaf is renowned for is that PhD holders work alongside other students with experiential equivalence to a first degree and that both are challenged to learn each other’s way of knowing and expressing their world. I have found that far from stunting me as a creative in-the-moment facilitator of the change process, academic knowledge and discipline has in fact increased the range that I may enter intuitively, supporting me with confidence and reference points, so that I don’t have to always reinvent the wheel – leaving me free to support the client’s inventiveness of something more original to their unique process of recovery and change! So if We See You So if you give us a ring or e-mail asking about progressing your training and we do not enter into a hard sell but instead inform you of a multistage process of application, just remember, it’s not because we don’t want you. Maybe what you are really requiring is some of our open modules to support your Coaching practice in subjects such as Ethics or Mental Health. You are more than welcome. However enrolment on training to Registration as a Psychotherapist takes a few stages and questions. We don’t believe this is a path that can be sold, only chosen and experienced, step-by-step, through an experience longer and deeper, a challenging path unique to each person. You have to really want it to be willing to tread it to completion. We think it’s only worth it if you do.
Pamela Gawler-Wright is Director of Training for BeeLeaf Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy, which is a Training and Accrediting Organisation Member of UKCP. She is a qualified and UKCP Registered Ericksonian Hypno-Psychotherapist and NLP Psychotherapist. As a long standing member of the UKCP Ethics Committee, she recently became Ethics Representative for Diversity and Equality.
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DIARY
DIARY OF EVENTS FOR SUMMER/AUTUMN 2010
July 2010 Introduction to NLP 1/7/10 Exeter Chris Menlove-Platt 07890 306896 chris@ledevelopment.co.uk Your Wellbeing at Work 1/7/10 Bristol Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk Practical Miracles Healing Workshop 2/7/10 Central London Arielle Essex 020 7622 4670 arielle@practicalmiracles.com Ethical Practice 2/7/10 London BeeLeaf - Pamela Gawler- Wright 0208 983 9699 info@beeleaf.com
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NLP 7 Research Conference 3/7/10 Cardiff University Lesley Weston 02920 687 564 healthcare-cpd@cf.ac.uk NLP 7 Day Certified Rapid Practitioner Training 3/7/10 Hertfordshire David Key +44 (0)845 434 0149 enquiries@auspicium.co.uk NLP Trainer Training 3/7/10 France Sue Knight +441628 604438 sue@sueknight.co.uk NLP Practitioner Accredited by ANLP 3/7/10 Chelmsford Essex Denise Collins 01245 476376 Denisecollins100@aol.com
NLP Certified Practitioner module 2 with the authors of Brilliant NLP 7/7/10 Oxford Pat Hutchinson 0870 762 1300 pat@quadrant1.com The NLP Trainer's Training 10/7/10 London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 news@performancepartnership. com Face Reading with Glenna Trout 10/7/10 Harrogate - North Yorkshire Alan Johnson - Train of Thought Training 01609 778543 enquire@trainofthought.org.uk ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification 11/7/10 Nottingham Colette White 0800 0433 657 or from outside the UK call +44 (0)207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com
NLP Practitioner Certification 11/7/10 Glasgow Kirsty McKinnon 0141 248 3913 kirsty@excelr8.co.uk FREE 2 day NLP Business Diploma 14/7/10 Hertfordshire David Key +44 (0)845 434 0149 enquiries@auspicium.co.uk Inspire and be Inspired 15/7/10 Henley on Thames UK Sue Knight 01628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk REAL SKILLS NLP Practitioner Certification 16/7/10 London - Queens Park Nina Madden 7906255529 mail@ninamadden.com
NLP Practitioner for Business Users 17/7/10 Midlands - UK Ralph Watson 0844 3572865 (UK) ralph@ralphwatson.com NLP Practitioner Course London 18/7/10 Hertfordshire Kim Blackmore 01708 479766 kim.blackmore@indigoeagle. com NLP Trainers Training and Evaluation 19/7/10 Surrey Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com Laughter workshop 20/7/10 Devizes Clare Smale 07977 362787 whitehorsenlp@btconnect.com
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Integrity Professionalism Standards
ANLP Licensed NLP Practitioner Training: Module 1 23/7/10 Birmingham Matt Caulfield 08453 626277 mail@mattcaulfield.co.uk The NLP Trainer's Evaluation 26/7/10 London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 news@performancepartnership. com
August 2010 ACCELERATED NLP Master Practitioner Certification 1/8/10 London Colette White 0800 0433 657 or from outside the UK call +44 (0)207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com NLP Master Practitioner Certification 15/8/10 Glasgow Kirsty McKinnon 0141 248 3913 kirsty@excelr8.co.uk NLP Practitioner for Business Users 21/8/10 Midlands- UK Ralph Watson 0844 3572865 (UK) ralph@ralphwatson.com Intensive ABNLP 7 day NLP Practitioner Course 22/8/10 Milton Keynes Pip Thomas & Faz Colbhie 02031 450698 nudge@edgeNLP.co.uk
September 2010
Managing for Healthy Minds 1/9/10 Bristol Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk
ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification 4/9/10 London Colette White 0800 0433 657 or from outside the UK call +44 (0)207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com NLP Trainer's Training 5/9/10 Thailand Kim Blackmore 01708 479766 kim.blackmore@indigoeagle. com
INLPTA Diploma in NLP 15/9/10 Staveley- Nr. Kendal Paul McGowran 1539822853 paul@lakelandpeople development.co.uk FREE 2 day NLP Business Diploma 15/9/10 Hertfordshire David Key +44 (0)845 434 0149 enquiries@auspicium.co.uk
Advanced Master Practitioner 6/9/10 North East Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com
Extended DISC Certification Enhancing TeamPerformance 15/9/10 Bath Tracey McCulloch 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
Brain Friendly Learning for Trainers 7/9/10 Hertfordshire UK Kimberley Hare 01923 262278 directors@kaizen-training.com
Real Sales with the authors of Brilliant NLP 16/9/10 Oxford Pat Hutchinson 0870 762 1300 pat@quadrant1.com
Setting and getting your Goals 8/9/10 Bristol Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk
Introduction to NLP 17/9/10 Central London Arielle Essex 020 7622 4670 arielle@practicalmiracles.com
Accelerated Presenting Magically 11/9/10 London Dr. David Shephard 0208 992 9523 news@performancepartnership. com NLP Trainer Training France 11/9/10 South West France Sue Knight 01628 604438 support@sueknight.co.uk Extended DISC Certification - Enhancing Individual Performance 14/9/10 Bath Tracey McCulloch 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
NLP Diploma Aberdeen 18/9/10 Aberdeen Rosie O'Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk NLP Foundation DiplomaDarlington 18/9/10 Darlington - Co Durham Alan Johnson - Train of Thought Training 01609 778543 enquire@trainofthought.org.uk NLP Practitioner Course in Aberdeen 18/9/10 Aberdeen Rosie O'Hara 01309 676004 info@nlphighland.co.uk
Law of Attraction Weekend 18/9/10 Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk NLP Practitioner for Business Users 18/9/10 Midlands - UK Ralph Watson 0844 3572865 (UK) ralph@ralphwatson.com
INLPTA NLP Trainers Training: Module 1 25/9/10 Bristol Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk
iWAM Certification 20/9/10 Bath Tracey McCulloch 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
Intermediate Certification in Contemporary Psychotherapy incorporating NLP Master Practitioner Certification 25/9/10 London BeeLeaf - Pamela Gawler Wright 0208 983 9699 info@beeleaf.com
FREE 2 day NLP Business Diploma 22/9/10 Hertfordshire David Key +44 (0)845 434 0149 enquiries@auspicium.co.uk
Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner 26/9/10 Swindon Tony Nutley 0844 414 2507 info@ukcpd.net
Certified NLP Practitioner module 1 with the authors of Brilliant NLP 22/9/10 Oxford Pat Hutchinson 0870 762 1300 pat@quadrant1.com
Advanced Personal Development 27/9/10 North East Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com
Coaching with NLP Practitioner 23/9/10 Exeter Chris Menlove-Platt 01392 876892 chris@ledevelopment.co.uk NLP Practitioner 23/9/10 Harpenden - Hertfordshire Phillippa Mole 01582 621373 info@freshaircoaching.co.uk
Setting and getting your Goals 28/9/10 Stirling - Scotland Karen Meager 01749 687 102 karen@monkeypuzzletraining. co.uk Certificate in Coaching Supervision 28/9/10 Bath Tracey McCulloch 01225 867285 enquiries@ theperformancesolution.com
Certificate in Advanced Coaching Skills 23/9/10 Near Bath Sally Vanson 01225 867285 sally@theperformancesolution. com
To get your workshops and events listed in Rapport, log in as a member to www.anlp.org and enter your events into the online diary. Every issue, online events listed for the next 3 months will be included in Rapport. rapport - Summer 2010
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From Lynda Hudson Lynda Hudson, is a clinical hypnosis practitioner who specialises in working with children. She is a lecturer in clinical hypnosis and gives masterclasses in using hypnosis with children. She is a lecturer at, amongst others, The London College of Clinical Hypnosis (LCCH), Thames Medical Lectures and The ISIS Hypnotherapy Centre in Brighton.
Scripts & Strategies in Hypnotherapy with Children For use with children and young people aged 5 to 15 Provides a collection of hypnotic scripts for children and offers easy to follow, solution-focused ways to structure treatment sessions. It also contains advice and background information, including contra-indications and possible pitfalls, on common and not so common childhood problems. Clear and easy to use, it will appeal to all levels of experience. It has a variety of tried and tested inductions and scripts for different ages and thinking styles. Issues include self-esteem, confidence, bedwetting, soiling, the effects of bullying, behaviour problems, overcoming anxiety and issues related to exam and school problems. ISBN 978-184590139-4 £25.00
New for June 2010 More Scripts & Strategies in Hypnotherapy A wonderful collection of brand new scripts to include: anxiety; panic attacks; phobias; sexual problems; breaking habits; sporting performance; managing dyslexia and related social stigma; essential tremor; tics and twitches; urinary incontinence; irritable bowel syndrome; pain control; preparation for and recovery from childbirth; sleeping difficulties; speaking in groups, meetings, conferences etc; enhanced business performance; preparation for and recovery from surgery and illness and coping with mild to moderate depression. Also included is the use of hypnotic language and suggestions for varying scripts for particular clients. This volume is an outstanding complement to Roger Allen’s now classic Scripts and Strategies in Hypnotherapy ISBN: 9781904424215.
ISBN 978-184590391-6 £29.50
To order your copies now visit www.anglo-american.co.uk or contact us on 01267 211880
the NLP conference 12th-14th Nov 2010
Preconference workshop Friday 12th November The Customer is Bothering Me, the Client is Bothering Me, the Patient is Bothering Me! with Shelle Rose Charvet
Other confirmed speakers: Lindsey Agness Lynette Allen Judy Apps Andrew T Austin Sue Bayliss Sue Beever Laureli Blyth Fran Burgess Michael Carroll Jan Cisek Jo Clarkson Reg Connolly Colin Cox Frank Daniels Arielle Essex Marie Faire Robert Fletcher Pamela Gawler-Wright Art Giser Michael Hall Kimberley Hare Heidi Heron Olive Hickmott David Hodgson Katie Hogg Bob Janes Di Kamp
Nick Kemp Sue Knight Hans Christian Lassen James Lawley Jeremy Lazarus Janey Lee Grace Judith Lowe Ian McDermott Iain McGilchrist Peter McNab Robert Meese Susan Norman Nick Owen Katrina Patterson Judith Pearson Patricia Riddell Jamie Smart Thies Stahl Robbie Stenhouse Suzi Strang Wendy Sullivan David Thompson Penny Tompkins Lisa Wake Caitlin Walker Wyatt Woodsmall
For regular updates and news check out the conference website at
www.nlpconference.co.uk
Anglo American Books Crown Buildings, Bancyfelin, Carmarthen SA33 5ND Tel 01267 211880 Email books@anglo-american.co.uk www.anglo-american.co.uk
BOOK REVIEWS
RAPPORT BOOK REVIEW And What Do You Do? 10 Steps to Creating a Portfolio Career Barrie Hopson and Katie Ledger £12.99, A&C Black In these days of uncertainty where jobs are concerned, many of us are developing “portfolio careers”. To the uninitiated, this means having more than one job. For some this portfolio will include a mixture of occupations with different employers, each of which satisfies some element of their personality; for others it will be offering different skills or talents as a self-employed person. For others still, it will be a mixture of the two. In this book, Hopson and Ledger provide a step-by-step guide with much practical advice to having more than one job as a career choice, from helping the reader to decide if such a career approach is for them, to finding out what their particular strengths and desires are, to creating their own “brand”. It is full of
exercises at each step of the way, together with reallife case studies of people who already have portfolio careers. The authors have also included many links (books and web sites) for further information in each chapter and show how you can make full use of new technology to get ahead. This is a helpful read for anyone in the process of reassessing their working life, either through personal desire or necessity. As the authors point out, a portfolio career seems an ideal solution for many nowadays, helping them have more control over their life, finding more satisfying work, fitting in with personal responsibilities, and spreading the risk in unsettled times when not many can be certain they have a job for life. NLP. Elaine Morrisroe, Book Review Panel
The Coaching Manual Julie Starr £16.99, Pearson The Coaching Manual starts with the fundamentals of coaching; the different types such as personal and business, styles (collaborative, direct and non-direct) before moving on to the beliefs and principals of a good coach. These early chapters really make essential reading for any aspiring coach. The manual also draws many distinctions between coaching and therapy that will be of value to practitioners who also wish to use their NLP skills in a coaching context. The middle section focuses in on the five core principals of a coach; rapport building, active listening, intuition, questioning and supportive feedback. Whilst these skills are the bread a butter of a coach, I sense these sections will offer little to an NLP practitioner who already has an understanding that exceeds the content presented in these chapters. If things gets a little bogged
down in the middle then they really pick up in the latter third. The chapter on barriers to coaching is excellent for highlighting bad habits such as strategizing; consequently I can see how one might return to repeat the practical exercises offered, again and again. Finally, I have to recommend the flexible coaching framework and the section on emotional maturity, both of which are useful tools that bring a new dimension to standard NLP-based coaching. In summary the Coaching Manual is truly a valuable resource and reference for prospective and well established coaches alike. No doubt some parts will be of more use than others, but if you want to take your coaching to the next level or just want to refresh your skills then this is a great place to start. Stuart MacCormack, Book Review Panel
Preparing the Perfect Job Application Rebecca Corfield £6.99, Kogan Page
Well, this book certainly does what it says on the tin helps you to prepare a pretty perfect job application! A thorough, step by step approach with lots of practical advice, exercises and tips makes it easy to follow for the novice applicant as well as anyone looking to brush up their skills. There are eight chapters, each dealing with a different aspect of job hunting and applications, with a handy list of "do's and don'ts" at the end. The book takes the reader through the whole process of applying for a new job - from finding
job adverts, to writing cover letters and filling in application forms to following up applications and recommended on-line job portals. Overall, a very useful generalised approach with plenty of practical advice and definitely worth a read. I personally would have liked a little section on CV writing, even a very rough guide, but instead was pointed towards a specialist book on the subject by the same author/ publisher. Otherwise, a thumbs up from this recruiter! Rachel Lawrence, Book Review Panel
To join the Book Review Panel email members@anlp.org rapport - Summer 2010
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AUTHOR INTERVIEW
Lynnette Allen Interview by Eve Menezes Cunningham
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ynette’s book titles made me smile before I ever met her. Behind with the Laundry and Living off Chocolate and Behind with the Mortgage and Living off Plastic sounded much friendlier than many coaching books. But her first book was nearly called something very different. “There was a very boring title,” Lynette remembers: “Inspirational Tips for Women.” As the publication date drew closer, her editor suggested she list as many titles as she could think of. “I filled two columns of A4 paper, from top to bottom and each one I read out met with, ‘No, no, nooooo, definitely not’ until we got to the last one.” Luckily, that last one was a winner. Like her coaching and coach training, Lynette’s books are aimed at women. “I’ve always coached women,” she says. A marketing session early on in her coaching career led her to cut out all the pictures that appealed to her. “All my pictures were very pink, feminine and girly, really. I set up my business, website and marketing in the same way and it was perfect for me. It’s changed a bit over the years and is now a bit more grown up, I was 27 then. It was a softer pink but is now a punchier pink.” “My marketing lady explained to me that if
All my pictures were very pink, feminine and girly, really. I set up my business, website and marketing in the same way and it was perfect for me I built a company brand around what I loved and made me excited, people would love it or hate it. The people who loved it really loved it. So after a one day workshop, I came away with a brand. You should use what you like and what you’re drawn to.” Lynette is open about having felt “scared stiff” when she wrote her first book. “I’d never written a book before and didn’t know how it would be received. By the time I got to the second one, I knew the format, knew how it should be laid out, knew my writing was better and enjoyed the process much more. It was my favourite to write.” She enjoys helping her clients and readers find that same kind of self acceptance. “There’s a sense of self reliance,” she says. “All the ladies in the book had some issue or other. They came to me not knowing if their
way of dealing with it was OK. It might have been pleasing others but not them. “I helped them take control. We get very stressed about the things we have no control over. Sometimes people assume they have no control over something but they at least have control over how they react to it.” Lynette encourages people to imagine their worst case scenario. “If it happened, what would you do? It still might be scary but you now know what you’ll do.” By taking control of that, you relieve some of the stress of the unknown. You recognise that the worst case scenario isn’t something you ever want to have to deal with, but should it happen, you can cope. As well as coaching and writing, Lynette runs accredited coach training with Meg Reid. “People were asking what it was like as a career,” says Lynette. “Meg and I put together a Diploma and got it accredited and so on. We launched the UK Coaching Partnership nearly five years ago. We’d had two very different experiences with our own training so decided to put all the good things in and make sure all the bad things didn’t happen. It’s a boutique course. We teach groups of 12, face to face, one weekend a month for five months. There’s a lot of support and it’s very practical. We won’t let them pass until we’re really happy.”
Being yourself in business and in life Whether you’re looking at branding (or rebranding) your coaching practice or another kind of business, thinking about redecorating or even just buying an outfit, be yourself. You don’t have to try to be unique and interesting – you already are. By following your own taste, your personality will come out in all you do. As Lynette says, not everyone will like you but others will love what you’re doing. Remember Julia Roberts’ character in The Runaway Bride? She was so unused to being single and always changed to be more like what she thought her men wanted that, until she experimented, she didn’t even know her favourite way to eat eggs. If you don’t already know your own taste, try these small steps: Create your own vision board – trawl magazines and swatches and rip out everything that makes you smile. Once you have a lot of material, you’ll be ready to see what your style is. What kind of
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colours, shapes and designs draw your eye most regularly? Look around your home. Donate or recycle everything that doesn’t
feel like that doesn’t feel like you (gifts, things you’ve outgrown and anything else). What you’re left with will look and feel much better. Do the same with your work space. As well as your actual office, cast your eye over all your marketing materials and your website. Think about your work clothes and car if clients see these, too. What felt fresh when you ordered or designed it may not be the best reflection of you and your business right now. Ask for feedback. Not in a way that puts others’ ideas of who and what you should be ahead of your own, but to find out what aspects of yourself they may actually know better. When you hear their thoughts, do they resonate with you? Do they see you as bolder or more confident than you often feel? Asking others for feedback is a great way to get to know yourself better.
AUTHOR INTERVIEW
We get very stressed about the things we have no control over. Sometimes people assume they have no control over something but they at least have control over how they react to it
COMPETITION Lynette is offering a free coaching session to the winner of her competition. To enter, email her with your answer to this question: “Many of my clients seek coaching in order to take control of a certain area of their work / business lives. If you could take control of something, what would it be?” Closing date: 30th July 2010
lynette@lynetteallen.co.uk
www.ukcoachingpartnership.com www.pinkskills.co.uk Lynette’s books, Behind with the Laundry and Living Off Chocolate: Life Changing Strategies for Busy Women, Behind with the Marking and Plagued by Nits: Life Coaching Strategies for Busy Teachers and Behind with the Mortgage and Living Off Plastic: Charge Up Your Life, Not Your Credit Card are available through Amazon and bookshops.
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s Professionals, we all know that first impressions count. And this is particularly true when it comes to building trust and relationships with potential clients. It is so important to communicate the right message right from the beginning when people come looking for information about your business. When promoting yourself a clear and simple, visual sign, which says that you are committed to ethics, good practice and standards, in one second, sends your target audience the message you want, before they have even started to read what you have got to say! And because we recognise that this visual signifier of credibility is so important in raising your profile, and the profile of NLP, the Association of NLP (ANLP) have designed a Logo for exclusive use by all ANLP Members. This logo was voted for by the members and reflects both the values of our Members, and meets the needs of the general public who want quality assurance and a “seal of approval" when looking for an NLP Provider. Using and displaying the
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Show the public your professionalism, credibility and commitment to standards ANLP Members Logo, visually demonstrates credibility and professionalism by showing that you belong to an independent and external NLP Association. This enables you to give potential clients peace of mind when choosing you as their NLP Professional. If you’ve got it, flaunt it! We think that you can never really tell enough people about the good work you are doing! So, you can put the Members Logo in a variety of different places and shout your message loud and proud that you are a Professional using NLP in a responsible, ethical and congruent way. Use the new ANLP members logo on your: website business cards letters adverts email signatures leaflets and brochures other promotional material Where can I get it? Don’t risk looking out of date, and make sure that you are
using the most up-to-date logo. After all, the new logo has been designed specifically with you in mind! All ANLP Members can access the logo by simply logging in their own Personal Profile on the Members Only section of the ANLP website: www.anlp.org. Simply: Download new logo from website by logging in to members profile at www.anlp.org Click on download Members Logo …. USE IT! And that’s it! Easy! Sew the seeds and reap the rewards: ANLP’s mission is to raise the profile of and NLP by promoting NLP Professionals and making sure that the general public receive ethical and responsible NLP. Use your Members Logo to show them that you can provide this. Use your Members Logo and you will: ✔ Increase public confidence in your services, potentially increasing your client base ✔ Have a competitive advantage over others who do not display
the ANLP shield on their materials ✔ Meet the needs of your clients who want to go to an NLP Professional affiliated with an external NLP organisation. ✔ Visually demonstrate your credibility by belonging to an Independent and Professional Organisation ✔ Be part of the ANLP Community and use your Logo, which has been specially designed by and for the Members ✔ Assure clients that they are going to a professional who has signed up to a Code of Ethics and minimum level of practice Show clients what they want to see! Use your Members Logo and show the public your professionalism, credibility and commitment to standards.
Download new logo from website by logging in to members profile at www.anlp.org Click on download Members Logo ....USE IT!
If you are not yet a Member of ANLP, and would like to use the logo and enjoy the many other benefits of ANLP Membership, please visit our website for further information at www.anlp.org or contact the ANLP Team on 0203 051 6740 or members@anlp.org
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Email: info@tranceformations-pbe.com Website: www.tranceformations-pbe.com
Do you have problem relationships Suffer with ill health Wish you could stop smoking, lose weight or remove a phobia Have difficulty succeeding or achieving Often wish you could have a new life or totally change your own For support, assistance, motivation and coaching in any of these areas plus many more. Contact us now for a FREE CONSULTATION.
REGIONAL GROUPS
RAPPORT NETWORKING CONTACT Practice Group of the month: Gloucestershire & Worcestershire Practice Group
Kimm Phillips kimmphillips@hotmail.com www.integralnlp.co.uk
WHY NOT practice your Continuing Professional Development with the Gloucestershire and Worcestershire Practice Groups? If you aren’t already in a Practice Group then come along to either the Gloucestershire or Worcestershire one? The Groups are open to anyone has studied some NLP. There are so many benefits. If you are already a Practitioner, you get the opportunity to perfect your skills and network with other Practitioners, whilst using this growth towards your Continuing Professional Development with ANLP. If you are a Diploma graduate, then there is no better way to increase your confidence as you practice and receive feedback from your colleagues - particularly useful if you’ve recently qualified. And if you are simply wishing to learn more about NLP, you can watch the demonstrations, listen to group discussion and perhaps even volunteer to take part as a client. Whatever
England - North Harrogate Achievers Club Sonia Marie Saxton Tel: 0845 257 0036 E: smesaxton@saxtonpartners.co.uk Harrogate Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard T: 01326 212 959 E: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com Lancs - Nr Clitheroe Dawn Haworth T: 01254 824 504 E: admin@nlpand.co.uk www.nlpand.co.uk Leeds - West Yorkshire Liz Tolchard T: 01943 873 895 M: 07909 911 769 E: liztolchard@live.com Manchester Business NLP and Emotional Intelligence Group Andy Smith T: 0845 83 855 83 E: andy@practicaleq.com www.manchesternlp.co.uk Manchester NLP Group Gary Plunkett T: 08707 570292 E: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk E: nwnlpgroups@aol.com Manchester, Stockport, High Peak Sandie Shaw or Chris Delaney T: 07985 284 914 E: nlppracticegroup@googlemail.com Newcastle Upon Tyne Philip Brown T: 0191 456 3930 M: 0777 228 1035 North Yorkshire Alan Johnson T: 01609 778 543 www.nlpnorthallerton.co.uk
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your reason for coming along, the group gives you the opportunity to meet and make new friends and acquaintances, catch-up with old friends, exchange ideas, network, clarify queries and keep up-to-date with NLP. You can find someone to buddy up with and arrange to meet outside the group for further practice. And of course you can resolve your real life issues and work on your dreams whilst in the role of client. The Groups either start with a quick recap of the technique chosen to study, followed by practice, or people split into twos and threes to practice generally and receive feedback from each other. We also often invite guest speakers who talk about complementary initiatives to NLP. We’ve covered topics such as energy medicine, Emotional Freedom Technique, Psych-K, the Enneagram, Myers-Briggs Typology, Robert Holden's Happiness Project, the Law of Attraction, Ken Wilber’s Integral Psychology
North Yorkshire Practice Group Rebecca Wake T: 01642 714702 E: rebecca@awakenconsulting.co.uk www.awakenconsulting.co.uk
Hertfordshire - Hemel Hempstead Ross Hammond 07540 371066 ross.hammo@ntlworld.com www.rosshammondcoaching.com
North West & North Wales (Chester) Gary Plunkett T: 08707 570 292 E: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk E: nlp4fun@aol.com
Hertfordshire - Letchwoth James Rolph T: 01462 674411 E: james@resource-ecologies.co.uk
Warrington Tiffany Kay T: 0845 833 8831 E: tiffany@go-beyond-nlp.co.uk www.WarringtonNLP.co.uk York Philip Callaghan T: 01904 636 216 E: info@bronze-dragon.com www.bronze-dragon.com/nlp_group.shtml
England - South Bedfordshire Melody and Joe Cheal T: 01767 640956 E: info@gwiztrainig.com www.gwiztraining.com Berkshire NLP Group Balbir Chagger M: 07944 931 437 E: berkshirenlpgroup@googlemail.com www.lifestorytherapeuticcentre.com/NLP. aspx Croydon Michael Carroll T: 020 8686 9952 E: info@realnlp.co.uk www.nlpacademy.co.uk Hants - NLP South Nigel Heath T: 01794 390 651 E: heatherapy@aol.com www.nlp-south.org.uk
Kent & East Sussex NLP Group Beverley Hamilton T: 01892 511231 E: beverley.hamilton@uwclub.net London - Hampstead / Najma Zaman T: 020 8926 1297 m: 07950477318 E: firstpath@btinternet.com London - Central PPD Learning Judith Lowe T: 0870 7744 321 E: info@ppdlearning.co.uk www.ppdlearning.co.uk/community/ our-practice-group London - Central (Business) Mark Underwood T: 020 7249 7472 London (Central) Robert Ford T: 08453 962842 M: 07976 715234 E: livinglifenlp@orange.net London - Central/North Practitioners and above only Jeremy Lazarus T: 020 8349 2929 E: Jeremy@thelazarus.com www.thelazarus.com London The Performance Partnership David Shephard T: 020 8992 9523 E: info@performancepartnership.com www.performancepartnership.com
and Bruce Lipton's pioneering work on the ‘Biology of Belief’. You’re very welcome to come along and join us. We're a relaxed, friendly group and we meet monthly at various locations throughout Worcestershire. Or, if evenings are difficult for you, then we meet on four Saturdays spread over the year, at a central location in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire. There’s access to a professionally trained and qualified NLP Trainer at all times, who’s happy to give feedback and answer questions. So if you’re interested we meet on the seventh day of every month from 7-9pm in Worcestershire, or on four Saturdays spread throughout the year in Cheltenham. There’s a small contribution towards the refreshments and meeting room costs and all we ask for is that you have a commitment to practice and share your learnings.
London - Ladbroke Grove / Nina Madden 07906 255 529 E: mail@ninamadden.com www.ninamadden.com London NLP & Hypnosis Practice Group Phillip Holt T: 08451 306213 M: 07061 003 003 E: enquiries@nlp-london.com www.nlp-london.com London West - Richmond NLP Group Henrietta Laitt T: 0208 874 8203 M: 07880 614 040 E: henrietta@richmondnlpgroup.org.uk www.richmondnlpgroup.org.uk North London NLP / Tom MacKay T: 07815 879 055 E: tom@mackaysolutions.co.uk www.northlondonnlp.co.uk Oxford / Nick King M: 0780 253 4150 E: info@oxfordnlpgroup.org.uk www.oxfordnlpgroup.org.uk Sandwich, Kent Lindsey Agness or Zoe Young T: (Lindsey) 01304 621735 M:(Lindsey) 07711 036 192 M: (Zoe) 07932 371 164 E: zoej66@btinternet.com South East London & City Simon Hedley T: 07930 275 223 E: londonpractice@psithinking.co.uk www.psithinking.co.uk/londonnlp practicegroup.htm www.nlpswap.com/ Sussex - Brighton Association of NLP Practitioners / Terry Elston T: 0800 074 6425 E: enquiries@nlpworld.co.uk www.nlpworld.co.uk www.nlp-brighton-assoc.org
Sussex - Worthing E: jim@espconsultancy.co.uk Ware / David Key T: +44 (0)845 434 0149 E: enquiries@auspicium.co.uk www.auspicium.co.uk West Sussex - Chichester Andrew T. Austin E: andrew@23nlpeople.com www.nlpstudygroup.com
England - East Cambridgeshire Phil Jones T: 07711 711 123 E: phil@excitant.co.uk www.cambsnlp.co.uk Colchester NLP Group Julian Campbell T: 01473 410521 M: 07710 781782 E: nlp@lifechangingtherapies.co.uk www.lifechangingtherapies.co.uk/colnlp. html Essex - Southend Pauline Oliver T: 01702 203465 Norfolk NLP Practice Group Stephen Ferrey T: 01603 211 961 E: info@motivational-coaching.co.uk www.motivational-coaching.co.uk Ipswich Steve Marsden T: 07889 751578 E: steve_marsden@btopenworld.com Redbridge - Ilford Glenda Yearwood T: 0208 708 3876 E: glenda.yearwood@redbridge.gov.uk www.redbridge.gov.uk
England - West Bath NLP North East Somerset Philippe Roy T: 01225 404 050 E: pr@in-focus.org www.bathnlp.co.uk Bath NLP Skills Builder Ben Reeve T: 01823 334 080 E: benjamino_32@hotmail.com www.idevelop.co.uk
Bristol David Griffiths T: 01179 423 310 E: david@metamorphosis.me.uk Bristol Karen Meager T: 01749 687 102 E: karen@monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk www.monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk Cornwall Practice Group Elizabeth Pritchard T: 01326 212 959 E: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com Cornwall (West) Robert Ford T: 08453 962842 M: 07976 715234 E: livinglifenlp@orange.net Devon NLP Practice Group Jane Stubberfield T: 01392 841153 M: 07887 744299 E: jane@jsa-development.co.uk www.jsa-development.co.uk Devon - South-West (totnes) NLP Support Group Alice Llewellyn & Anna Scott-Heyward T: 01803 866706/01803 323885 Devon - Torquay Chris Williams T: 0781 354 9073 Devon & Cornwall NLP Practice Group Nick Evans T: 01392 811 772 M: 07832 357 208 E: nick@nlp-southwest.co.uk www.nlp-southwest.co.uk/ WordPress/?p=72# more-72 Dorset John Chisholm or Brian Morton T: 01202 42 42 50 E: john@creative-leadership.co.uk E: bmhrd@btinternet.com www.nlpdorset.co.uk Swindon, West Country Tony Nutley T:01793 554834 E: info@ukcpd.net www.ukcpd.net West Somerset Caitlin Collins T: 01643 841310 E: info@naturalmindmagic.com Wiltshire Clare Smale T: 07977 362787 E:whitehorsenlp@btconnect.com www.whitehorsenlp.com
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England - Midlands Birmingham (flexible locations and to suit members) Mandy Ward T: 0121 625 7193 M: 07740 075669 E: mandy.ward3@virgin.net www.cassykindly.co.uk The Derby NLP Practice Group Karl Walkinshaw T: 07971 654 440 E: karl@k-d-w.co.uk East Midlands NLP Group Rupert Meese T: 0115 8226302 E: rupert.meese@lightmind.co.uk www.lightmind.co.uk/EMNLP Northants - Northampton Ron Sheffield T: 01604 812800 E: ron.sheffield@btinternet.com www.nlpgroups.org Nottingham - West Bridgford Karen Shaw T: 01159 818 228 E: karen@innercommunications.com www.innercommunications.com Walsall/Birmingham Richard Pearce T: 07760 175589 E: richard@kochin.co.uk West Midlands - Worcestershire Jennie Barnes T:0886 884 022 E: jennie@barnes1835.fsbusiness.co.uk
Scotland Aberdeen Rosie O’Hara M: 07796 134081 E: info@nlphighland.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk Bridge of Allan, Stirling John McLachlan T: 07803 127 384 E: john@monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk www.monkeypuzzletraining.co.uk Edinburgh Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence T: 0131 664 7854 E: msnlp@btconnect.com Edinburgh NLP Practice Group Patrick Wheatley & Sheena Wheatley T: 0131 664 4344 M: 07765244030/ E: wheatley.co@btconnect.com E: sheena@changingperceptions.org.uk www.changingperceptions.org.uk
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Bournemouth John Chisholm and Michelle Fischer T: 01202 424250 E:info@creative-leadership.co.uk
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Forres/Elgin NLP Practice Group (North of Scotland) Rosie O’ Hara T: 01309 676004 E: info@nlphighland.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk Glasgow Mina McGuigan T: 01236 610 949 M: 07886859942 E: mina.mcguigan@googlemail.com www.nlpacademyscotland.co.uk Glasgow Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence T: 01316 647 854 M: 07710 332 841 E: msnlp@btconnect.com Glasgow - NLP in Education Jeff Goodwin T: 0870 060 1549/0141 248 6484 E: jeff@nlpscotland.com www.nlpscotland.com Inverness - (Highland) Rosie O’Hara T: 01309 676004 E: info@nlphighland.co.uk, www.nlphighland.co.uk
Wales Cardiff James Angove E: angove@ntlworld.com www.cardiffnlp.co.uk Shropshire & Mid Wales Practice Group Nick Greer T: 01743 361133 E: nlpgroup@nickgreer.com www.nickgreer.com
International Brussels, Belgium Gerard Murray T: +32 476 417 606 E: gerry.murray@widecircle.eu www.meetup.com/NLP-in-Brussels/ Chicago, USA B Groth T:(312) 751-2600 E: vakog@live.com www.meetup.com/NLP-Chicago
Practice Groups meet regularly and give you the chance to share experiences with like minded individuals and fellow professionals. They also offer you the opportunity to further your knowledge and add to your Continual Professional Development (CPD) through informed lectures and workshops. For further information on the Practice Groups listed, please log on to our website, www.anlp.org If you would like to add your Practice Group to this list or change existing details, please contact Lala on 020 3051 6740 or email members@anlp.org rapport - Summer 2010
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ENDNOTE
Which message is true? By Terri Ann Laws
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hey tried to teach us on our Neuro Linguistic Programming Practitioner course that only 7% of communication is in the actual words people speak. The trainer couldn’t tell us where she or NLP found that model. The statement seemed false to me immediately and I set about finding as many counter examples as possible. Starting with text messages and emails then on to the evangelist preacher bellowing at the podium and the hypnotherapist talking consistently, softly in a monotone voice to a patient with closed eyes, I came up with no less than 103, and I imagine there are probably hundreds of examples even more convincing than those I found. An even bigger problem with that model is that it blatantly contradicts everything else we’re teaching in NLP. We’re teaching Milton Model, Meta Model, Chunking, Predicates, Reframing and other things that all assume the person’s words are describing their map of the world, their patterns and processes, and their problems. We’re working with the words people use and swapping old words for new, changing maps, beliefs, values and attitudes. Yes, eye patterns and anchoring have their part too but they are most certainly not 93% of what we do when you’re doing NLP. Even when eliciting a well formed outcome we need to work primarily with what people say, not with 93% non verbal communication! The great thinker, Gregory Bateson, divided messages into two logical types; the words part of the message and the not words part, which includes the relationship and what the body is doing. He said the words were at a lower logical level, and the non verbals were the more true communication and were therefore at a higher logical level. He is contradicted in the Structure
of Magic 2 by John Grinder and Richard Bandler who explain that all parts of a communication are equally valid and useful and it is the incongruence when verbals and non verbals don’t match that holds all the useful information. The non verbals are not necessarily more true or more valid. Only if and when there is clearly incongruence between what a person or client is saying and what the body is saying do we need to pay attention to the non verbals. Then we can’t mind read or impose our map on the other person and make assumptions. We have only words, probably Meta Model questions, to get more information from the client’s deep structure, hopefully to help the client examine their own map and provide us with answers, using words. “Your body doesn’t seem to be saying the same things as your words, Sally. Am I correct in guessing there is something else going on with you right now?” I can accept the 7% communication being in the words when we are teaching sales, and possibly there are a few other isolated contexts in which this would be the case in life. When a sales person wants to know when the best time is for closing, he or she needs to watch the non verbals very closely. The customer is about to be separated from his cherished money and his verbals may well be ‘no’; excuses, objections, delay tactics and other cop outs. In this case the sales person is paying 93% attention to the customer’s non verbals to catch the cues and close. Another context where 7% might be in the words and 93% in the non verbals is in any ongoing relationship between people where they know each other very well, possibly even live together, and they have learned to read each other’s behaviours, reactions and subtle cues. In this case, the person communicates quite thoroughly
when they look daggers at you and walk out the room without speaking, or when they cook your favourite meal. This is a very broad context and is only valid in the big picture over time looking at the relationship as a whole. Even then, we want to discourage our clients from Mind Reading and giving their meaning to any non verbal communication from a loved one, or anyone else. In any one isolated communication, even between people in an ongoing relationship, we need to give equal credence to the words, the non verbals, the relationship and the context. We still can’t say that any one particular verbal exchange between any two people in any context has a 93% non verbal component which is more real, more valid and more true than the words. A great example of huge incongruence between verbal and non verbal communication lies in the following story: Many years back I was breaking up with a man for some good reasons. At one point he looked at me through wild eyes with a crumpled up, red, angry looking face. His body was shaking and even sweating a bit. His voice was uncharacteristically loud, almost shrill. He had one hand in the air behind his head and the other tightly pointing a finger at my face, and the words he was yelling were – I love you! Yes, he loved me, and he was terrified of losing me. The most important part of that message, the part he wanted me to get and fully understand, the part his whole being and his unconscious mind and his higher purpose and everything else about him wanted me to understand was that he loved me. The words were absolutely true and the only valid part of the message. All the rest was noise, irrelevant misleading noise.
terriannlaws@gmail.com Terri Ann Laws, Int. Master Trainer of NLP, Mind Power, Therapy and Life Coaching
54 | Summer 2010 - rapport
I think we need to consider the implications and the practical legitimacy of teaching lies to NLP Practitioners. I am convinced it does a lot more harm than good, is not useful or relevant, is not true and it contradicts a vast chunk of the content of the NLP Practitioner curriculum. And now for the real stinger: Professor Albert Mehrabian, a PhD professor Emeritus of Psychology, UCLA and a pioneering researcher of understanding communications since the 1960s has stated in interviews and on television both in the UK and the US, that he cringes every time he sees his 7% communication model misquoted by idiots that evidently have no logical common sense. For 40 years his model has been pontificated in management meetings across the globe by fools in suits trying to look intelligent. He was studying the communication of emotions when he published that model and he was only referring to the communication of emotions, nothing else. Only when human beings are trying to communicate an emotive word does the model apply, and in that context only, the ratios are: 7% of the message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in the words that are spoken. 38% of the message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is paralinguistic (the way that the words are said). 55% of the message pertaining to feelings and attitudes is in facial expression. These ratios do not apply in any other type of communication, says Professor Mehrabain. NLP trainers really need to remove that piece from their NLP Practitioner trainings and stop making NLP a joke to those university educated people who actually know the truth of the matter.
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