Rapport 6 - Winter 2006 by ANLP International CIC

ISSUE SIX

Roger Black Motivation by the leading Olympic athlete

NHS

How NLP training is helping on the wards

Shelle Rose Charvet On motivation

Pro bono Should coaching be given for free THE MAGAZINE FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

WINTER 2006

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contents

winter 2006

Regulars 4 ANLP NEWS 6 DEBATE

Pro Bono coaching - is it good or bad? Welcome to another issue of Rapport, the personal development magazine. We are privileged to have an interview with Roger Black, the Olympic athlete and one of Britian’s finest 400 metres runners this issue. He explains how he transferred his success on the sports field into a universal form of motivational speaking - you don’t just have to be a sports fan to enjoy it. Entering the New Year, everyone, including NLP coaches, will be busy setting themselves resolutions, but will they keep them? Shelle Rose Charvet and Faith Tait have written pieces about how to be motivated, set goals and stick to them. Essential reading at this time of year. Even though he gave us an exclusive interview last issue, we have featured Tony Robbins again, although this time not in his own words. We sent one of our intrepid reporters to review his recent event in London. Energetic, clever and brilliant by all accounts, but does it really change people’s lives - Joanna Goodman went to find out. You may not like swearing, ugly and rude jokes, and they may just provoke you into saying something you didn’t expect. Well, that’s the idea behind Frank Farrelly’s Provocative Therapy as described by Nick Kemp. Don’t mind the F-ing and Blinding, it’s all in the cause of therapy. Can NLP help the NHS? Well it certainly seems to - how doctors build rapport with patients can make a big difference to the perception of their treatment. Get it checked out on page 14. Hope you enjoy this issue and have a good new year.

William Little

8 WHAT’S NEW The latest news

12 NLP

Insurance scheme

20 SPA

In the Yorkshire Dales

41 COLUMN

How to market NLP II

43 BOOK REVIEWS The latest books reviewed

44 AUTHOR INTERVIEW

Jeremy Lazarus on his new NLP sports book

50 ENDNOTE

NLP and teenagers

Features 10 GROOMING Women of Courage

14 NLP

NLP helping on the wards in the NHS

18 Coaching

28 Motivation

22 Review

32 Health

Kikass founder tells Rapport how NLP helps troubled teenagers Tony Robbins under the spotlight

25 NLP

Provocative Therapy creator Frank Farrelly

Editor: William Little will@rapportmag.com Art Editor: Enzo Zanelli Advertising: David Hammond david@rapportmag.com; or call 0870 787 0026 Membership, subscriptions and back issues: Lala Ali Khan Lala@rapportmag.com or call 0870 444 0790; Publisher: Karen Moxom

Shelle Rose Charvet explains how to break habits and keep motivated for good New Year, New You

34 Roger Black

On motivational speaking

38 Coaching

Affordable Life Coaching

karen@rapportmag.com; or call 0870 787 1978 Company Reg No. 05390486 Phoenix Publishing Ltd PO Box 3357, EN5 9 AJ Rapport published by Phoenix Publishing on behalf of ANLP. Printed by: Wyndeham Westway, 1 Sovereign Park, Laporte Way, Luton LU4 8EL

DISCLAIMER The views within this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, nor does the publisher endorse the products or services promoted in the magazine. Articles are for information only and intent is to inform. Readers should seek professional advice before adopting any suggestions or purchasing any products herein.

rapport - Winter 2006

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ANLP NEWS

ANLP improves CPD to encourage standards and ethics among NLP practitioners

NLP is overhauling its member’s CPD system with a new online system. The introduction of a reflective online CPD system highlights the industry’s recognition of past criticisms with a proactive move to improve professional standards and support ethical practice. NLP has received mixed reviews by industry and academia for being a “dubious pseudoscience” with no independent scientific verifications of effectiveness. In order to implement their online CPD procedures, ANLP will be working with Axia Interactive Media, specialists in e-learning, CPD and e-assessment systems, whose existing customers include the Council for Administration, LearnDirect, the Royal College of Nursing and the Institute for Archaeology. Using Axia’s Internet based system - members will be given a confidential username and password and will be able to manage their own CPD programme,

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recording evidence as required. Unlike many CPD assessment systems, Axia’s technology, NOW.net, supports media, which will allow NLP practitioners to reflect on all forms of learning and record them as independent evidence of best practice, in addition to more traditional evidence such as event certificates and personal declarations. Accredited trainer and Advisor to ANLP, Lisa Wake, said: “I am delighted that ANLP have taken this step of putting in place processes that ensure a monitoring of CPD. It is important that members do undertake regular CPD and continue to develop their own learning. CPD provides an excellent opportunity to share best practice, meet others in the field, expand your knowledge base and ensure that you remain up to date with developments in the field of NLP.

Reflective practitioners in many other fields already continue their learning via CPD and I see this as providing further evidence of ANLP’s commitment to developing measurable standards in the field of NLP.” Karen Moxom, Managing Director of ANLP, said: “NLP is extremely powerful and flexible and it is unfortunate that it does not yet enjoy the reputation it deserves. But this is common of many professions today, hence the focus by professional bodies on implementing CPD and ethical standards. As the leading promoter of NLP Practitioners and Trainers, we aim to change this mixed perception and by introducing reflective based CPD we will both encourage high standards and provide greater reassurance of practitioner abilities to the marketplace.” Chris Peat, Director of Business Strategy at Axia Interactive Media, reveals that “as a company we have set out to deliver the best solution possible for organisations looking to automate their CPD and e-assessment procedures. Typically professional bodies have very limited resources and yet are required to serve an evergrowing member base. We enable them to offer their members a level of competency assessment that they would otherwise be unable to provide using a manual system”. The new online CPD will be launched in the Spring. Contact ANLP on 0870 444 0790 for more details.

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DEBATE

Pro-bono coaching Should coaching be given for free and if so what is the benefit? Two coaches with opposing views argue for and against the case for pro-bono coaching

Mindy Gibbins-Klein has been a coach for 18 years. She has helped over 3000 people worldwide discover and commit to their goals. She is now best known as The Book Midwife™, helping people write and publish the best possible books

ro-bono coaching can be lifechanging for the client and for the coach. The key is to know why you are doing it and make sure the client understands you are giving them tremendous value at a big discount (up to 100 per cent discount!)

Why is it life-changing? Firstly, I am assuming we all agree that coaching is intended to help clients improve the quality of their lives. It is my belief that coaches get into this profession because they have a genuine desire to help others be the best they can be. Taking the fee out of the equation gets the coach to focus on the result - not that we don’t always do that, but in this case there is no money changing

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hands so there is only the result to focus on. I worked with a client last year for no fee and that was very liberating. She really needed help and was not in a position to pay. Once I had agreed to do the work, I gave her the best possible service because I cared about her and her transformation; as a result, she was able to make some changes that she would not have made if she’d had to find payment for a coach. In that case, she would have opted not to have the coaching and she would not have had the results. Secondly, there is the Karma aspect - if you believe in that sort of thing. In any case, doing good in the world is generally regarded as a good thing! And it makes the coach feel good. No

matter who we are, we like a chance to be a ‘giver’ and pro-bono work offers a brilliant opportunity to do that. In the above case, my client called me several weeks after our last session and she sounded like a new woman. She thanked me profusely and told me about all the great changes she was making in her life, which started during our sessions. Why do you have to know why you are doing it? All of the above reasons are valid and there is no right or wrong. However, I have seen some people do seemingly altruistic things with a hidden agenda, i.e. they were more concerned about how they looked to others.

DEBATE

If you think about why you are doing it before you begin the coaching, you can conduct the program in a much more conscious way. You can set the objectives you want from it and make sure you achieve them. If you are not going to receive financial compensation for your work, then you need to get something else from it - for example, the good feelings described above, or more tangible things like community service credits, PR, or even the promise of future paid work. Why does the client need to appreciate the value? Clients always need to appreciate the value of good coaching, whether they pay for it or not. When the coach has agreed not to charge for their time, clients still need to know how much that time is normally worth - in case they refer the coach on to others or decide to come back as a paying client in the future. I think the term ‘pro bono’ also extends to offering massive discounts. I have, on occasion, worked with people who have limited budgets; it is always my choice. Sometimes there is a book that must be written and I believe in it enough to invest my time. I have been helping a lovely young man who had a traumatic childhood to document his story in a book. This client has shown me the meaning of important things in life and it’s been a wonderfully refreshing perspective. He is also extremely grateful. He even connected me to someone at Anthony Robbins who was able to help me to get tickets for an event. From other clients, I’ve received great referrals and introductions, letters of appreciation and much more. It’s a lot more fun than receiving boring old money all the time! www.bookmidwife.com

Zoë Windsor, Director, The Coaches Training Institute

ro-bono Coaching - a dressedup way of saying “I am not comfortable asking for money, so have it for free”. Pro-bono means: “Done without compensation for the public good” and it should in theory be a great match with coaching. And indeed it could be but not in the way it is currently being offered. Why? Simple. The central reason that the vast majority of pro-bono coaching doesn’t work is that the main motivator behind 90 per cent of coaches offering it is fear. The coach lacks confidence and typically will say something along these lines: “I don’t have any experience so I can’t ask people to pay me right now, I’ll do it for free to begin with”. The coach is not responding to a genuine need which cannot be paid for by other means as in the case of other forms of pro-bono work. If a lawyer is undertaking pro-bono work it is because the client receiving it genuinely does not have the funds. I.e. there is a genuine need to defend a member of society who wouldn’t be able to get that help otherwise. Just as importantly the client recognises this fact. Most people receiving pro-bono coaching could pay for it, in all or in part. When the coach gives the coaching for free without any financial commitment it is because somewhere the coach doesn’t feel they are offering enough value to charge. The client responds by not being as committed or engaged as they need to be to make the progress they want. Why? Because they are reflecting what the coach is projecting. The client doesn’t truly value what they were being gifted as it wasn’t

being truly valued by the coach who gifted it. Coaching is an amazing profession. Coaching has the power to transform people’s lives and contribute to the public good. When coaching works there is always a very powerful balanced working relationship between the coach and the client. The coach empowers the client and the client empowers the coach. Both parties fully lean into the relationship and give their most and can achieve amazing results. The coach owns what they bring to the relationship and enables the client to own what they need in themselves to move forward. The coach champions and challenges the client where required in service of them achieving their goals and the client responds by giving it their best. Both parties are committed and engaged and have the best chance of achieving outstanding results. A sample session at no charge, can be a powerful marketing tool giving the client a chance to try before they buy. An on-going coaching relationship that involves no financial contribution because the coach doesn’t value what they are offering is not powerful at all. The coach is disempowered as the balance of power lies with the client who has almost done the coach a favour by letting them coach them. Take a poll of coaches who have done probono work at some point and the vast majority will tell you that those clients typically turned up late or not at all and didn’t hold up their end of the bargain. The coaching wasn’t a success. How can we expect clients to feel the fear and do it anyway if the coach won’t? www.co-activecoaching.co.uk

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PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT NEWS

What have you done with your Modelling Project? aith Tait (Faith Tait Associates) suspects that, on completing their training, many Master Practitioners put the certificate on the wall and put the modelling project away. There are likely to be dozens, even hundreds in the UK alone, languishing in filing cabinets, drawers and cupboards, having minimal, maybe zero application. So Faith is developing a collection of these accounts of excellence on her website. It is to be a freely accessible resource for anyone who has a curiosity, sense of wonder, or a need to know about the difference that makes all the difference. If you would like your project to be out there, releasing its potential, contact Faith at faith@faithtaitnlp.co.uk

Award for NLP Business ight months ago ANLP member Tanya Curran was involved with a nationwide scheme, known as the New Entrepreneur Scholarship, to learn business acumen. It involved completing a six-month course covering all aspects of running a business and business plan, after which she received a grant to help with the initial start-up costs. Her business is about educating teenagers and adults about the workings of their mind with the help of NLP. This is particularly useful in exam preparation workshops where she uses learning styles, VAK, anchoring positive states, reframing, self belief, which help connect the link between thought, feeling and action. Her business was the Regional NES winner for the South East. She has also received an award of Excellence for her business at the Dover Town Hall. www.mpowermindworks.co.uk

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Big cats unite at NLP Conference ore than 400 delegates and 40 speakers made this year’s London NLP Conference. Possibly inspired by Friday’s conferenceopening speech by Michael Grinder on the theme of ‘Cats and Dogs’, some of the NLP world’s ‘big cats’ settled down together to chat about the themes that unite the field, rather than focusing on their differences. Charles Faulkner said: “Myself, Wyatt Woodsmall, Michael Hall and James Lawley were sitting down together and talking. That’s never happened before.” Jo Hogg, organiser of the NLP Conference: “I am delighted with the feedback from the Conference - it seems that most people had a good time. Over the three days we had more than 450 people there - a wonderful result. It was difficult to have to turn so many people

away as the event was fully booked before the end of October - the earliest ever. There were more new people there this time too which is encouraging. “The delegates seemed to have enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere and the wide variety of topics. Certainly there was quite a buzz. ” A key issue inspiring unity was a drive for research into NLP to help establish its validity and develop it as a serious field of study. Work following the conference continues - Charles Faulkner plans to create a group of like-minded NLPers meeting regularly, initially in London. For details email him at faulkner@influentialcommunications.com. While Michael Hall hopes to establish chairs of NLP at academic institutions, and urged NLPers to consider making bequests to achieve this. Contact him via www.meta-coaching.org

Safe Practice for Coaches oaches looking to investigate and learn the challenges of working safely have another opportunity to attend Awake Consulting’s course, Safe Practice for Coaches. Held at the Danubius Hotel, St John’s Wood, London, on 27th February 2007, the course will cover the coaching therapy boundary. Other topics covered by the course include what to ask before you take on a client and when NLP should never be used, as well as common Psychological/Emotional Disorders and how to recognise them. It will also cover the Laws covering the use of NLP, Coaching and Therapy. This one day course is delivered by Lisa Wake, a UKCP accredited Neuro-linguistic Psychotherapist and INLPTA/ ANLP certified Trainer of NLP and Jeremy Lazarus, ANLP certified Trainer of NLP The course costs £150 plus VAT. For more details call 01642 310022 or email awakenconsulting@aol.com

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Further Details: The conference will be held In Chiswick, West London, convenient for tube and buses. Numbers are limited. To register your interest email: info@21stcenturynlpconference.co.uk and we will send you a conference brochure and booking form. rapport - Winter 2006

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GROOMING

Women of courage Sharon Eden, the creator of a Women of Courage programme explains the concept behind the event, while Sharon Gray checks out whether a seminar on women power is effective t might be a decade since the Spice Girls unleashed their ‘Girl Power’, but women still need help regaining their bravery. Or so says therapist Sharon Eden, creator of Women of Courage. “Too many women are still muted and so this is an opportunity for them to feel boldness and swaggering and celebrate being women,” she explains. “It’s about reconnecting with their female energy. Sharon has been a professional coach for more than 20 years. She trained as a psychotherapist in the transpersonal psychology movement known as psychosynthesis, and then added to her skills becoming a certified coach using CBT and most recently an NLP trainer. “NLP is different and yet compatible with my existing skills.” Sexually abused as a young child, Sharon is all too aware of the shame, self-disgust and the traumatic damage to the sense of who she was, including her femaleness or maleness and the way it deeply wounded how she saw herself. As an unmarried mother in her teens, married then divorced, doing an unfulfilling job, with bouts of depression and sometimes suicidal, many still saw Sharon from the outside as a strong,

her own female energy. “From then on I began to have the strength and confidence to turn myself and my life around.” Sharon explains; “Women of Courage is a coaching and training programme specifically for women. It is about developing your identity and strengths as a woman, rather than fighting for equality. During my work as a therapist, coach and trainer, women of all ages tell me difficulties in their lives arising from how they see themselves as a female. It seems to be the same whether they have a supportive background, whether they have an abusive background or one in between.” So what is female energy, power and passion? “Generally, ‘male’ energy is described as being about order and action in the world, associated with logical and spatial thinking. ‘Female’ energy is described as intuitive, creative, about wisdom and with sensory ‘thinking’ best expressed through mediums like symbols, metaphors, stories and art. I believe we could all develop both types of energy. However, our education system has traditionally favoured ‘male’ energy and intelligence rather than ‘female’.

Too many women are still muted and this is an opportunity for them to feel boldness and swaggering and celebrate being women confident woman. However, on the inside, she felt fake and certainly not womanly; leading to feelings of inadequacy, despair, with a constant feeling that something essential was missing inside. A devastating breakdown in Sharon’s early 30s catapulted her into unearthing

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Here’s an experiment for you. Imagine tasting sugar. Describe the taste. Whatever words you come up with, they just don’t get near do they? We can only really ‘know’ the taste of sugar through the sensory experience of actually tasting it. It’s exactly the same with female energy, power and passion. What I can tell you

is that women usually cry deeply when they first experience their own ‘femaleness’ inside. Some liken it to meeting the female divine within themselves. Some describe it like returning home after a life-time’s exile. And one woman described it like floating effortlessly in warm undulating satin.” What can your female energy do for you? “Because we’re all unique at different stages in our personal development, it does different things for different women at different times. Indeed, it would be arrogant of me to tell you exactly how you’ll experience your female energy or what it’ll do for you. However... A successful business woman, renowned for hard-faced decision making, found, while she was still as tough when needed, her generally more sensitive and inclusive approach created more ‘buy in’ and co-operation from her staff. A working mother feeling guilty at leaving her child, instead of exhausting herself being ‘super-woman’ by way of compensation, found she was far more accepting and caring of herself and her child. A voluntary community worker suffering depression developed a sense of purpose from ‘fitting into her skin’ as a woman, and took charge of her own recovery.” Is Women of Courage relevant today? “Being in my fifties, I’ve been asked if this Women of Courage ‘stuff ’ only applies to those of my own age. If it isn’t relevant today, how come my adolescent granddaughters compare themselves unfavorably with some popular media ideas about what being female means and women in their early 20s and 30s currently seek my help?.” “What about your female power and passion? By the time you read this it’ll be already 2007. Time goes so quickly. However, a new year brings new opportunities. And as a Woman of Courage, it’s never too soon to kick-start your power and passion and develop it even more. Make 2007 the year that you do!”

GROOMING

Finding Your Courage The Women of Courage seminars and workshops, run by Sharon, promise women the “tools and techniques to empower their lives with inspiration, passion and achievement” - no small claim. So I went along to one of her women-only ‘lift-off evenings’ to see what it was all about. There was an eclectic mix of women in the group, all with an air of anticipation. Sharon Wilson, 33, works as a PA in London. She came along on the recommendation of a friend. “What grabbed me was the promise of ‘tools and techniques for improving yourself’ and going beyond your means and the burdens that hold you back. I hope to pick up skills and learn something new about myself.” She had been on self-improvement courses before but never any NLP courses. Meanwhile, Lesley Raffin, 33, an office administrator was attracted by the ‘courage’ aspect. “We all need more of that!” The evening began with some ice-breakers and progressed through different interactive exercises and a led meditation. The evening focused on learning to be bold, to swagger and ‘signing up for yourself’ working on sensory, emotional, intuitive and spiritual levels. “Some of what we talk about, there’s no vocabulary

for, there’s a ‘knowing’ beyond the intellectual,” explained Sharon. “Too much analysis can sometimes take away some of the sensory experience.” She describes her methods as a mix of western and eastern psychology and NLP with a touch of zen and taoism. “It’s about being in the now and fully alive with lots of sensory acuity. I’m pulling NLP and psychology together to offer women powerful tools and techniques to be bolder and to laud their abilities, talents and energy for themselves and others.” So what did the other participants think? “I haven’t been to many of these before. It’s good to realise how much fear we have in ourselves as women and how small we make ourselves - I’m certainly not being bold and courageous.” Lesley continued ”I found Sharon warm and encouraging, urging us to blossom.”. Amanda Rogers commented “Sharon inspires people to do something different and think outside the box”. Marina Nicol, from Kent, added “Sharon made me realise how important it is to feel confident and bold. As women, we are good at putting

ourselves down, and there’s no need to do that”. Sharon would certainly echo that sentiment. “I truly believe right now we need female energy in the world. I’m running this programme to give women the opportunity to come together and celebrate their woman-ness.” There’s no doubt Sharon is totally passionate about her mission. She says she does some pro bono work with younger women who are less affluent and also works with business women. “In the corporate world women feel like they have to be like the boys to get on. I think Anita Roddrick is a good role model for corporate women - she was bold, strutted her stuff and negotiated in a world where men dominated.” And yes she even works with men! Given the ongoing fight for sexual equality, it seems only fair. Special discount for Rapport readers. Join Sharon for a Ladies Night with a difference. Learn how to reconnect with yourself as female in ways that can ignite your passion, power and belief in yourself... Contact Sharon at sharon. eden@womenofcourage.com or 020 8597 9200 for details and quote RAP12WW for your special discount.

rapport - Winter 2006

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INSURANCE

Towergate insurance What happens when a client threatens to sue. Rob Watson, Sales and Marketing Manager at Towergate Professional Risks, provides some answers ave you ever thought about what would happen if a client or third party alleged that you had not acted professionally and threatened to sue you? The financial consequences could be significant, not to mention the stress and possible harm to your professional reputation. ANLP has worked with Towergate Professional Risks to negotiate preferential rates for members on Professional Liability insurance, which would protect you in the event of such an incident. The policy includes cover for Professional Indemnity, Public Liability, Products Liability and Libel & Slander, all under one policy.

So what do each of these terms mean exactly? Professional Indemnity relates to the advisory or therapeutic element of your work. For example, a client might allege that you have carried out inappropriate treatment with them, or failed to carry out necessary actions, and that they have suffered a financial loss or injury as a result. Public Liability relates to any other type of loss, injury, or damage to property arising out of your business activities. NLP is not a particularly physical therapy and therefore the risk of loss or injury as a direct result is very low, however if for example a client visited your office or home, and tripped over a briefcase you had left lying around, you could be legally liable for their financial loss or injury.

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If as part of your work you give clients any products for use outside of your appointments (such as books or CDs) you could be liable for any loss arising out of the use of these products, even if you did not manufacture or produce them yourself. The Products liability section of the policy would protect you against this type of claim. The final section then, is Libel & Slander. NLP professionals often share their insights and experiences with like-minded individuals through speaking at conferences and exhibitions, or publishing their views in journals, websites and podcasts. The growth of both old and new media has meant that there are more and more opinions out there. If you wrote or said something which another party felt was defamatory against them, there is a risk that they could sue you for libel or slander. So that explains what is covered, but you may ask yourself ‘do I really need cover?’ Professional Liability insurance is not currently a legal requirement. However, a number of professional associations - including ANLP - strongly recommend it. Claims for compensation from clients are becoming more and more common in an age of ‘no win, no fee’ personal injury lawyers, and a large claim could be very damaging to a sole trader or small firm without the necessary insurance in place. Even if a client was unsuccessful in suing you, the legal costs of defending the claim could still be significant, and

would be covered by the insurance policy. What’s more, adequate insurance offers a valid benefit to your clients, which you should communicate to both existing and potential new ones. Insurance provides your clients with the peace of mind that if something should go wrong, there are funds in place to compensate them in the event of a loss or injury. If you are unfortunate, and a claim should arise, the financial backing of an insurer is not the only support you can call on. Without an insurance policy you would be left to fight any compensation claims on your own. Quite apart from the financial implications, there would be the worry and uncertainty of defending the claim. If such a claim should arise, Towergate will guide you through every stage of the process, from initial notification right through to conclusion. Along the way they will guide you as to what you should do and say, as well as what you shouldn’t. It is in the event of a claim that their expertise comes into its own. Defending such a claim can be extremely complex and time consuming, not to mention worrying. Professional Liability insurance can help you get through this process and get back to normal quickly. Professional Liability insurance is available to members of ANLP through Towergate Professional Risks, who can be contacted on 0113 294 4000.

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HEALTH

NLP and the

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HEALTH

NHS NLP coaches are helping NHS professionals improve their way of working. Joanna Goodman reports good deal of attention has been paid to recent research showing that patients are more likely to complain about doctors and other medical practitioners if they feel that the doctor has communicated with them poorly. Furthermore, patients tend not to sue doctors who have taken the trouble to establish some rapport with them, even when a mistake has been made. Last year alone, nearly 11,500 of the 95,047 registered complaints about the NHS were about the attitude of staff. Therefore, a significant proportion of complaints about the NHS are based on people’s perceptions of the way they or their relatives have been treated, rather than the choice or result of treatment. These findings, and the fact that the complaints procedure is necessarily stressful for patients and practitioners, as well as incurring significant costs to the NHS, indicate the potential value of NLP training for health care practitioners. Suzanne Henwood, a practising radiographer who has a PhD in continuing professional development (CPD), delivers NLP training and coaching to health care practitioners. She has also written a book, NLP and coaching for health care professionals: developing expert practice, which is due to be published in March 2007. Suzanne first encountered NLP in the 1990s when she was working as director of education in health for a

national charity. “When one of my staff trained in NLP, I was intrigued by the transformation in her approach,” she says. “Some time later, I was asked to redesign the charity’s education strategy. This was a massive job which involved delivering training to some 3,500 people, so I recruited a small team of education professionals. Because we were taking on new, demanding roles, I arranged for us to have some coaching from an NLP trainer.” Suzanne was so impressed both with the results of the training and the speed with which they were achieved that she turned to NLP training again when the team were having problems working with another group of colleagues. Again the outcome was so successful that the two teams arranged a further joint coaching session! Suzanne was interested in finding out more and this led to her qualifying as a practitioner and then a master practitioner and about two years ago she set up Henwood Associates. Suzanne works in partnership with other like-minded trainers to provide off-theshelf and bespoke training courses in NLP and communication for health care practitioners and other organisations. Suzanne currently works part time as a radiographer for her local primary care trust and a significant part of her NLP work is with the NHS. It seemed a natural fit for her to use her experience and reputation in health care education as a springboard for her NLP work.

Furthermore, because Suzanne is still employed in the NHS, she has an ongoing understanding of the issues that arise for clinicians and other health care practitioners. Although it isn’t officially part of her clinical work, NLP naturally influences Suzanne’s interaction with patients. “I’m always conscious of the language I use,” she says. “As a radiographer, I would never describe a bone as crumbling or say anything that would install negativity into the patient. Rather, I try to install positive feelings.” As a diagnostic radiographer, Suzanne is not as involved with patients as doctors or nurses are. “My contact with patients is relatively limited in both time and scope,” she says. Having said that, even a brief X-ray appointment can sometimes give Suzanne the opportunity to provide NLP therapy. “The other day I helped a woman overcome a phobia. It was totally outside my practice, but I had some spare time to help her. I used double dissociation, which is getting the patient to imagine that they’re effectively in a projection booth watching themselves watching a film.” Suzanne emphasises that before undertaking this sort of ad hoc treatment, it’s important to check the ecology. “However, in the case of an irrational phobia, there was only potential positive gain if NLP could get rid of it. At best the patient would feel better and at worst she’d feel the same,” she explains.

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HEALTH

Suzanne hopes to get NLP into the undergraduate training for healthcare professionals. This objective is supported by the fact that the fourday diploma course maps on to the six core dimensions of the NHS Key Skills Framework (KSF) which apply to all health care practitioners apart from doctors. These are: 1. Communication 2. Personal and people development 3. Health, safety and security 4. Service improvement 5. Quality 6. Equality and diversity

Having realised that NLP was having a direct positive impact on her work as a radiographer, Suzanne decided to find a way to help other healthcare practitioners become even better at what they do. Her courses are aimed at ambitious professionals striving for excellence. “I was a good radiographer before,” she says, “And NLP helped me raise my standards even further. The training courses I offer are centred on developing people’s communication

and psychotherapist. The assistants on the course are all health care professionals and all the tools are taught to be applied in a health care context. For example, NLP helps nurses, radiographers and other health care professionals to get more out of patient appointments. “Using the appropriate language helps health care practitioners build rapport with patients, who are expected to divulge sensitive personal information in a very limited time. It

Having realised that NLP was having a direct positive impact on her work as a radiographer, Suzanne decided to find a way to help other healthcare practitioners become even better at what they do skills to optimise team and individual performance and deliver excellence in practice and patient care.” To this end, she has designed an NLP diploma aimed at health care professionals who aren’t looking to train as NLP practitioners, but simply want to learn how to use to improve their practice. The course is accredited by ANLP and taught by Suzanne and her colleague, Lisa Wake, a registered nurse

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also helps to avoid negative installing which can make treatment more difficult,” she explains. She emphasises the importance of language throughout patient-professional interaction. “For example, if a patient says, ‘I don’t see what you mean,’ and the professional replies, ‘You’re not listening,’ it’s clear that they’re talking two different languages,” she explains. “One is visual and the other is auditory.”

“Therefore, practitioners can meet their annual competency training requirements in one short course”, explains Suzanne. In addition to providing specific NLP training, Suzanne also offers short courses and team and individual coaching, sometimes in partnership with other trainers. One particular event, ‘New ways to communicate,’ a regular one-day course in association with the College of Radiographers is consistently oversubscribed. NLP-based training to help resolve difficulties in working relationships within and between interdisciplinary teams is also popular in these times of NHS overstretch as is her one-to-one career counselling aimed at people who want or need to change direction mid-career. As Suzanne explains, NLP training benefits the NHS in three key dimensions. First, it improves the interaction between health professionals and patients in order to deliver better patient care and an enhanced patient experience. Secondly, staff-on-staff interaction is improved within and between teams, including interdisciplinary teams in different specialisms and department, increasing efficiency by improving working relationships. Thirdly, it’s providing continuing professional development to help individuals and therefore the NHS work towards practice excellence. For further information visit henwoodassociates.co.uk or email Suzanne Henwood at Suzanne@henwoodassociates. co.uk

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COACHING

Coaching teenagers Kikass founder Neil Almond thought that young people could get more out of counselling, so he turned to NLP for the answers. He tells Rapport how this has helped him set up a charity to help young people ikAss coaching was set up six years ago by Neil Almond, a former charity worker and counsellor, who felt that young people weren’t getting enough from counselling services where he worked in Norwich. Aimed at the over 16s, KikAss was initially established as a website providing advice and highlighting the usefulness of NLP and coaching to a younger population. Almond says he watched as teenagers came in to see a counsellor and then wouldn’t be seen again. “I had not heard about NLP at this point. I just wondered at the time whether there was something

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else that would work better for young people,” he reveals. “We were getting one hit with young people. We needed to make them feel that they were getting some benefit from this as there was a lot of competition for their time,” he says. He was working around some big issues at the time, including HIV, sexual awareness, and drugs, so getting to the young people was a priority. Yet even when they did some of them, he admits, felt that counselling wasn’t helping much. “I had a conversation with Ian McDermot from ITS, who introduced me to NLP and what it could achieve.

Because NLP was so effective it meant that, in just one session, you were able get one win in an area of their life. I became really excited about NLP and did my practitioner course. I started seeing NLP as a collection of techniques and tools that were relatively easy to work through and were positively focused. They were ideal for the area in which I was working. I was primarily interested in young people over 16 as that is when they start taking responsibility for their life - at this crucial stage NLP could help them to focus on outcomes rather than focus on problems. It was creating a vision of what they

COACHING

CASE STUDY Derek Oakley, 22 I like the fact the Kikass has a central participatory element enabling young people to work with other young people to a maximum age of 25. The idea is that young people can help develop themselves and pick up new skills. I have been on a four-day intensive course that helped me to confront certain issues there were preventing me from achieving my objectives and helping to put myself in a better frame of mind. It helped me achieve clarity about certain issues - helping me to evaluate what my objectives are and in what direction I wanted to go. I think the ethos at Kikass is essentially about empowerment. It gives young people the skills and confidence to achieve different things. I think that it’s very powerful that young people can be coaches. It is important that young people can act as positive role models for other young people. There is a misconception about role models that they have to be older or in some way superior to you in stature, job or experience. But it is useful if they are not put up on a pedestal. Being closer to your own age - it is quite an empowering and direct message, showing what another young person can be capable of. It’s important that these young role models have personal experience that other young people can relate to. It helps them to empathise and not get locked into certain negative patterns of thinking about their own worth. NLP gives you the tools to manage that, to boost your confidence and it does mitigate the effects of a negative experience when you are going through a bad period.

could have instead - it offered an amazing opportunity and worked better for young people within their existing culture and life styles. People were being asked questions about themselves that they had never been asked before. Young people were getting an hour long

own life. “I got angry and sad about this. These young men were reaching a point where they felt they had no possibilities and when suicide became a credible option. It was also a problem around accessing services - whether it is young men with problems, or young

We were getting one hit with young people. We needed to make them feel that they were getting some benefit from this as there was a lot of competition for their time session with an NLP coach that could achieve a real break though and may have them coming back for more.” He says the charity started off looking at the issue of youth suicide where the statistics show around one in five young men have attempted to take their

people in general, they didn’t know where to go to get help. I wanted to create an organisation that enabled young people to get really excited and want to be a part of it, taking on the responsibility of their own personal development and community. That is

why we started Kikass.” KikAss uses a network of young people to reach other young people the peer aspect is important in keeping young people engaged. Starting off online was an important element of this, with a funky, worldly-wise website written in a language that will appeal to young people. There is a website game about safe sex that doesn’t moralise about the act of sex itself, but actually rewards characters in the game for using condoms. It is funny, but also realistic. Kikass also supports a network of volunteer coaches in universities and in communities who coach other young people through money and debt issues, and to help socially excluded young people. Other courses are primarily about personal development, helping the young people set goals and achieve them - in other words, to Kikass. www.kikass.com

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SPA BREAK

The Orange Tree Doug Costain reviews the Orange Tree in the Yorkshire Dales on a wholesome relaxing weekend break he Ultimate in Relaxation Weekends for Wellness! The Orange Tree is a place where you can truly get away from it all. An eight bedroom guesthouse just outside the peaceful village of Rosedale Abbey, in the heart of the North York Moors National Park, it’s the perfect escape with friends, colleagues, or just on your own. The friendly informal atmosphere, home-cooked vegetarian food and great affordable wines, together with group relaxation sessions in their purposebuilt studio, individual treatments, great walks and sauna, make them the perfect choice. The Jacuzzi Hot tub (seating up to a max of 8 people) in a beautiful gazebo allowing great views over the dale to the moors, is popular with all their guests. They’re open 52 weekends of the year (well, almost!) providing variations of their special 2 day “Relaxation Weekend” and take bookings from 1 to a maximum of 17 guests. They are also open throughout the week for Bed and Breakfast, and you can relax and enjoy the treatments at your own leisure. They are now also able to offer “Spadays” for you to relax on your own or with friends. You can have use of the sauna and hot tub, have a couple of treatments by their resident therapists and a wholesome lunch, and all for

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only £85! Just bring your flip flops, costume and dressing gown! Additional treatments can also be booked. Also available are Orange Tree gift vouchers, ranging in price from £19.50 (sufficient for one treatment) right up to the full cost of a weekend including treatments - get in touch with them for details and they will personalise a voucher for someone special. They make ideal birthday and Christmas presents!

If you just want to enjoy the beautiful countryside and walks Rosedale has to offer, they also offer use of a cottage, sleeping a maximum of 7 people, log burning stove and beautiful Rayburn cooker in the farmhouse style kitchen. Guests can use The Orange Tree facilities and have any of the treatments on offer, with the convenience of self catering accommodation. Call: 01751 417 219.

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NLP

Unleash the Power

Within Tony Robbins runs seminars around the world coaxing thousands to motivate themselves. Joanna Goodman reviews his latest visit to the UK nthony Robbins’ Unleash the Power Within (UPW) seminar promises a weekend of powerful immersion into strategies, tools and techniques for turning your dreams into reality. “Maybe you can change your life forever,” suggests the pre-seminar information pack seductively. Rapport gave me the opportunity to find out. Anthony Robbins is the world’s most successful motivational speaker, writer and life coach. He is rumoured to earn more than $80 million a year and is consulted by US presidents, celebrities and film stars. He is well known for his best-selling books, motivational tapes and seminars and has appeared in cameo roles in several films, including Men in Black and Shallow Hall. Previous UPW seminars attracted mixed reviews. Some participants felt that their lives had been transformed, while others benefited from increased motivation and optimism. There is also a solid online community of UPW attendees comparing experiences and exchanging views via web forums. Arriving on Friday morning, the first thing that struck me was the sheer numbers of people crowding into the Excel Centre in London’s Docklands. UPW was attended by more than 10,000 people. Robbins’ staff, most of whom are volunteers, ensured that registration was

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quick and efficient. Within a few minutes of arriving, I had collected my ticket and registered for the seminar before joining the long queue to get into the auditorium. Once inside, the atmosphere was almost evangelical, with a lot of clapping, whooping and high fives. This reached a crescendo as Robbins appeared on the stage. The seminar is based on his bestselling self-help books, including Unleash the Giant Within. Robbins is 6ft 7ins tall with enormous presence and a giant personality. NLP Strategy His three-step NLP-based strategy is designed to help you to change your model of the world in order to enjoy an even more rewarding life: • Identify what you would like to change/improve; • Think and feel what would having/ not having it in your life mean to you; • Take an intelligent action towards it, right now. The first three days focused on NLP techniques including: • Altering the body’s physiology to achieve a change of emotional state; • Asking specific questions to create a more favourable psychology; • Defining your goals and your limiting beliefs;

• Leveraging change by associating the behaviour you want to change with unbearable pain and the desired new behaviour with extreme pleasure; • Interrupting limiting patterns by doing something unexpected; • Generating the enthusiasm and power to work towards your goals by visualising the desired result. Day four, which was not run by Robbins, concentrated on putting his techniques into practice as well as achieving a healthier life by detoxing and changing your eating patterns. Showmanship Robbins combines elements of NLP with Hollywood showmanship and a genuine insight into human nature. His presentation was enlivened by amusing anecdotes and audience participation that highlighted his ability to connect with people - and fast. When he worked with volunteers from the audience, he immediately identified their model of the world and accurately determined what they actually wanted rather than what they said they wanted. For example, one participant said that she was seeking a better work-life balance. After just a few questions, Robbins observed that what she really wanted was an intimate

NLP

relationship - and hit the nail on the head. Her genuine embarrassment showed that she had not been expecting this response. Another lady felt depressed about her dead-end job and her friends putting her down. Robbins addressed her problems with some risqué humour - he asked her whether she’d ever had a really amazing orgasm. The audience gasped responsively. Luckily, she had - and, even better, she could respond in the affirmative when Robbins asked her whether anyone else had been involved in the experience! He then tried to get her to recreate how she felt and we all laughed, especially her. The idea is that we can all shake off feelings of depression by thinking back to a time when we felt really good. Robbins has enormous energy and presented almost continuously for most of the weekend, pausing periodically to encourage the audience to stand up, shake their bodies and hug and massage each other while loud ‘motivational’ music rang through the auditorium. Every so often we were urged to dance around, cheer and exchange high fives. I took the opportunity to get a closer look at the person standing at the edge of the stage, whose commanding personality was making 10,000 people overcome their natural inhibitions to behave in this fashion. So I shimmied to the front, close enough to see his make-up and his tired eyes, but he spotted me too. Not wanting to be caught on camera - or much, much worse, to be invited onstage to tell the audience exactly why I was there - I danced back through the crowd only to bump into a couple of ladies who I’d met at the ‘Change Your Life’ seminar I wrote about for Rapport. They were having a great time and it was lovely to see them both again. But it was only three months since their last motivational course. The climax of the first day was the famous firewalk. This crowdpleaser is designed to demonstrate that if you put yourself in the right state you can overcome fear and take the necessary action to achieve what you desire in

life. In reality, the firewalk is very well organised with water and wet grass at the start and finish. Having achieved the right state - under Robbins’ expert guidance - 10,000 people quickly took the eight or so steps over the hot coals. No-one was injured. How challenging this is depends on your own attitude - but one delegate with a bad leg was particularly elated after walking across the hot coals. In fact his whole bearing changed as he - and those around him - realised that for a few moments at least he had been walking without a limp. The sessions are tiring, and to get the most from UPW you need to keep up

Once inside, the atmosphere was almost evangelical, with a lot of clapping, whooping and high fives your energy. Although the weekend is structured so that everyone leaves elated at the end of each day, some people are clearly exhausted. It helps to make a conscious effort to take breaks for food and drink. This also provides an opportunity to meet other participants. UPW attracts people from all walks of life. Some people had bought Robbins’ books or tapes and wanted to find out more, some were interested in NLP and wanted to improve their techniques while others were tagging along with their friends. I wondered whether UPW represented value for money. Everyone I spoke to thought it did. Ticket prices paid range from about £200 on Ebay to £800 for a golden ring ticket which gives you a seat right at the front. However, visibility is good, there are big screens everywhere and you can move around as you like. As one delegate observed, it’s the same event wherever you’re sitting. As there is no reserved seating and you have to queue for the best seats each day, I’m not convinced of the benefit of buying the most expensive tickets when you

can get to the front simply by arriving early. UPW is heavily sales oriented and by the end of the seminar, a significant proportion of the participants that I spoke to had already signed up for 2007. The main reason they gave was that UPW covered so much that you couldn’t absorb it all in one weekend. Few people who had attended previous seminars felt that their lives had changed significantly, yet many return year after year. One participant who had attended UPW several times described it as a detox for the spirit. She said that she always went home feeling motivated and ready for the challenges ahead. Others combine UPW with an annual trip to London. According to Robbins there were representatives present from 55 countries. Although Robbins clearly helps people through both his motivational and charitable work, his is a successful global business focused sharply on making money. Although it is surely testament to his remarkable magnetism that he has no shortage of dedicated, caring and enthusiastic volunteers working at UPW, this factor must also contribute to its profits. Robbins does share some of the secrets of his success; much of his advice is grounded in common sense and we can all learn something from him. He has undoubted charisma and superior presentation skills and the famous firewalk is organised with maximum pizzazz and minimum risk. I enjoyed the weekend because of his polished performance, brilliant timing and slick humour. UPW is fun; the atmosphere is uplifting and it will give you a boost, but after that it’s up to you. As Robbins himself says at the start of UPW, you have to take what you personally need out of the weekend. Every NLP practitioner I have interviewed describes NLP as a box of tools to draw on as and when you need them and Robbins certainly offers a lot of tools at a price that his worldwide audience seem only too happy to pay. www.anthonyrobbins.com

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International Teaching Seminars

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NLP

Frank Farrelly Nick Kemp remembers his first meeting with Frank Farrelly, the creator of Provocative Therapy

first heard about Frank Farrelly while assisting on one of Dr Richard Bandler’s seminars when he famously commented, “If you think I’m wild, you should meet Frank!” From that moment on I was curious about what such a meeting would produce and a year or so ago in Bournemouth, I got the opportunity to find out! This was a smaller seminar than usual. The delegates came from a variety of backgrounds, including hypnotherapy, sales and marketing directors and other professions with individuals travelling from as far a field as Mexico. Interestingly in the first hour of the seminar, he commented: “Anyone can be hypnotised, anyone can be gotten to...” He explained that Provocative Therapy seeks to elicit five types of behaviour 1. Assertive behaviour 2. Self-affirmatory behaviour 3. Realistic and appropriate self defensive behaviours 4. Psycho social reality testing behaviour 5. Behaviour that denotes

communicating positive messages including warmth, affection, friendship, sexual attraction and love. We were then given the opportunity for interviews or 1-on-1 sessions with Frank which were recorded and which we were then able to take home if we wished. The individual sessions each lasted 25 minutes. The interviews addressed a variety of individual questions and Frank skillfully built rapport with each person and wonderfully set up counterpoints to each delegate teasing out more of what was at the root of the question, by provoking each delegate into reconsidering their initial perception of the problem. Frank speaks in a relaxed tone that often masks some of the more outrageous comments that are carefully constructed and which if taken out of context could be considered quite bewildering. One of the delegate’s wishes was to lose weight and Frank suggested that the delegate could be happy to be seen as being more “Buddha like” commenting, “Why not relax and let the Buddhist blubber take over?” Each delegate was given the

opportunity to feedback their reactions to Frank and the group. These reactions included feeling “churned up” feeling “spaced out” and in some cases feeling “pissed off ”. One of the delegates suggested that there were similarities between provocative therapy and homeopathy. Frank was lightening quick in responding to clients and interestingly commented that he didn’t have predetermined ideas when relaying stories to clients, but it was clear as an observer that he was building rapport with each delegate on numerous levels whilst at the same time offering wonderfully provocative considerations. During the last half hour of the day, Frank talked about his work in parapsychology and specifically remote viewing as well as being a speaker at psychology conferences. From having seen Frank up close, its clear to me that he is a real one off like Milton Erickson and Dr Richard Bandler. One of the delegates asked if his stories and questions were random and whether he pre-selected his subject material before starting each session. Frank indicated

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NLP

that he simply started talking and let the conversation unfold. As an observer I noticed that he is highly intuitive when working with clients and made each delegate feel totally at ease while at the same time making suggestions that were both outrageous and highly amusing! As he mentioned in the first hour of the day, humour is a key tool in provocative therapy. When discussing the use of metaphors he lamented at how some therapists would focus on one single metaphor for the duration of an entire session, “wringing the life out of the metaphor”. When one delegate to my amusement asked if Frank’s stories were entirely random, he responded by saying that he was just an old guy who didn’t really know what he was doing. Frank is as sharp as they come, working on many

metaphor for how Frank works, often frustrating the client into revealing to themselves a different perception of what they previously imagined their problem to be! Frank sits close to each client in interview situations and touches them at specific moments within the conversation. The provocative responses from Frank continued in further interviews and it became clearer and clearer to me how much he uses a combination of razor sharp humour and attitude to change the client’s perceptions. Later in the day an interviewee commented “I really need spirituality” to which Frank responded “Have you ever considered f..king a member of the clergy?” All of these outrageous comments flowed perfectly within the warm and friendly banter that Frank had carefully set up between both parties. The environment of

In provocative therapy you play devil’s advocate with the client. It’s like the affectionate teasing banter between close friends - you side with the negative half of the client’s ambivalence about themselves and their life’s goals levels simultaneously and from what I have seen, nothing slips by him... Day 2 The subject moved to the application of provocative therapy in specific clinical situations. He commented that when dealing with schizophrenics you have to “Take your professional dignity and throw it out the window in the service of the client.” We then continued with further interviews with a delegate commenting that he had a problem for many years. Frank’s immediate riposte was “kind of like a pet?” He then enquired exactly how many years the delegate was referring to. The delegate responded that this “problem” had been troubling him for 30 years. Frank’s response was “that’s not a problem, that’s in the marrow of your bones!” I remembered that Frank had stated on day one that there was no point in attempting to get to a safe vault through the reinforced vault door, far better to get in from another place, such as underneath. This is an excellent

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friendly banter meant that the comments still have a powerful impact, but in a safe surrounding. In my interview with Frank I found him to be working on so many levels that quite quickly my ‘NLP brain’ lost track of what was happening. I realised that I was in the hands of a master communicator and within minutes, he had totally changed my perception of what I had previously considered a problem! Frank quickly established rapport with me. But at one point during the interview, I lost track of what we were discussing and went into a total state of confusion. My three reactions to Frank and the interview were great humour, confusion and mild annoyance with myself for reacting in such a predictable manner to my situation! On listening back to the recording later in the evening, I noticed how much Frank had already mapped out how I tended to operate and through his method provoked me into viewing my situation in a quite different manner. I also noticed that he had ‘analogue marked out’ all the delegates and addressed each delegate with a specific voice tone and rhythm.

Day 3 The day began with Frank introducing the metaphor of having the right tools to fix problems and he talked about the usefulness of assuming an attitude of humility when “going into another’s territory”. The first interview of the day was with a delegate who mentioned that he thought he worried too much. I began to now notice a pattern in Frank’s interactions as within the first minute he set up a strong visual image as a metaphor commenting; “Boy you have a slow dick” He then went on to suggest that the delegate had “timid sperm”. After the interview, the delegate commented that he felt a weight had shifted from him and that he felt genuine warmth for Frank and the time he had allocated to his situation. Frank commented, “One of my main aims in provocative therapy is to move the heart”. The most fascinating demonstration of the day was when a delegate asked Frank about how to resolve “failure patterns”. Frank then proceeded to give an explanation of how in life there are winners and losers. When she asked if losing could sometimes be useful, he replied; “Yes for the winners”. Having set up this proposition in such a digital manner Frank continued for 25 minutes to maintain this central theme. When the delegate asked about how people may put up barriers for defence, Frank commented; “A lot of winners put barriers up against losers”. The next morning some 14 hours later, I still found my mind pondering on this interview... Day 4 As I began to track the different interviews in more detail, I saw that recurrent themes would begin to appear. I noticed that in many of the interviews he would present a strong image to the client in the early part of the interview. He would then provoke them into considering a different alternative to their current model of the world usually with tremendous humour, which would result in the patient capable of discovering substantial internal changes. A typical response would be one of complete confusion as their maps changed significantly, often within the first minute! For the full version of this article visit: www.provocativetherapy.info

�� JSA RAPPORT OCT 2006

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ISSUE FOUR

SUMMER 2006

Jumoké Fashola Can NLP be bad for you?

Michael Neill Talks about his new book

Dyslexia

Can coaching help improve school work?

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See how NLP can be used to cure a phobia THE MAGAZINE FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

The ﬁrst magazine to offer fresh and accessible editorial on personal development techniques to develop the individual and business. Regular columns include: Training, Coaching, Hypnotherapy, Interviews, Proﬁles, Discussions, What’s New, Debate, Letters, Book Reviews, Alternative Therapies and more.....

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NLP

Changing Behaviour What does it take to really change behaviour? Shelle Rose Charvet investigates for Rapport ehaviour change is not merely a matter of knowledge or skill. If that were true, then all the information campaigns on how to improve your health would have made behaviour-related illnesses a thing of the past. And birth control information would prevent teen pregnancies. Sadly, many people fail to create lasting change in their behaviour and will repeat their failures over and over again in their lives. Have you ever tried to break a habit? Organizations, like people, suffer from the same difficulty in shifting their behaviour. And it’s not because they do not know HOW to do it. There are innumerable management development books explaining what to do and methodologies for implementing change. Sometimes the methods speak to organization development, sometimes to culture change, but they are really aiming to create change in behaviour. The key to creating and maintaining real behaviour change is in getting and staying motivated. Some people start lifestyle changes that last at best for a few weeks. Checking the attendance figures in January and February at your local health club will show you the people who began by being very motivated but then lose their passion. Other people wish they could do something, but never manage to work up the required motivation to get started. Remember comedian Totie Fields’ famous book; I Think I’ll Start on Monday: The official 8 1/2 oz. mashed potato diet. She also said: “I’ve been on

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a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.” Can Crisis Motivate Change? Conventional social work theory suggests that the highest potential for change is during a crisis. Organizations often try to make radical shifts when they are facing financial ruin or other disasters. But if crisis really is the highest potential time for change, then why do 90 per cent of coronary bypass patients fail to make long term changes to their behaviour after surgery? Breaking a habit requires both short term and long term motivation strategies. When a crisis is the trigger that gets someone to want to do something differently, it can be effective for the short term. This Motivation Trigger is called Away From Motivation because the person or the organization is motivated to move away from a situation they do not want. A person can’t breathe and feels sick so they decide to quit smoking. Someone can’t fit into their clothing and goes on a diet. A company is facing the arrival of a lower cost competitor and starts looking for costs to cut. Away From motivation can get you started! The problem is that it loses its power once you are on your way. How can you stay on track after the Away From Motivation has waned? There are a couple ways to maintain a high level of motivation if the original trigger to change was Away From. You need a constant reminder that you don’t want be fat, unfit, unhealthy, boring, poor or out of business. This takes a lot work and

the effects of maintaining a state of fear or disgust are far from healthy. The other option is to add to the Away From Motivation by also having something to move towards. Since Away From Motivation is really only effective for short periods of time and most behavior or habit changes take a significant amount of time, you need a mechanism to maintain motivation. You can do this when you also have a goal that you deeply want to achieve to replace the problem you want to avoid. This goal represents what we call Toward Motivation. The Away From Motivation can get you started and gives you a push. The Toward Motivation draws you closer to what you want instead. This will give the benefit from push energy to move away from what you do not want and pull energy which entices you toward what you want. The problem with only having a Toward Motivation Trigger is that if you are beginning far away from your goal, the idea of starting is in itself demotivating. If your goal is to run a marathon and you get out of breath walking briskly around the block, it is easier to put off running until tomorrow. If you only have Toward Motivation, with nothing to kick-start you into action, you may procrastinate. Reinforcement: Habits are like water running downhill But Away From and Toward Motivation are not always enough. Habits, like cactus, are hard to kill. Habits are typically rituals that you perform

NLP

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NLP

without thinking; they are procedures, to which you are psychologically committed. So there’s the secret. A good system is one that is easier to follow than not follow. If you want something to become a habit, put it inside a procedure that you normally do. To remember to take your vitamins, put them in front of your coffee pot, instead of hiding them in the

at the right weight or fitness. It’s easier to imagine when you can see yourself in your favorite ‘skinny’ outfit or running three miles effortlessly. Support and accountability In my company Success Strategies, we have been considering the problem of maintaining motivation around behavior change for some time. People

Conventional social work theory suggests that the highest potential for change is during a crisis. This seems logical, since during a crisis, nothing is normal cupboard, hoping you’ll remember to take them out in the morning. I cannot stress enough the importance of placing your new behaviour inside your normal procedure; it builds your commitment right into what you do. When your new behaviour is part of a standard procedure that you follow without having to decide each time, you will find that it gets reinforced. What you see is what you get Verbal affirmations are rarely compelling enough to trigger and maintain your motivation. But visualization is nothing new. People have known this since the original Power of Positive Thinking. It’s just that when you can see both what you want and you don’t want it becomes more real than merely telling yourself something. Compare the idea of being

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loved our trainings, but rarely did it make a real difference on the job. Most people haven’t got the time to stop what they are doing and integrate a series of new behaviors when they are already struggling just to get everything done. Our strategy is to provide support, but more importantly, once everyone is motivated we want them to feel accountable for implementing their behaviour changes. We teach people some of the influencing skills they need for their work and then they report back in small groups on the results they have achieved. The group approach helps keep people motivated to follow through partly because they don’t want to look bad in front of their colleagues. We meet in person or on the phone in short bursts to reinforce motivation and to deepen and continue the learning.

Beliefs, values and who you are If you don’t believe it’s possible to change a habit, none of the motivation strategies listed above will work. Look for an example where you have already made a significant change somewhere in your life. Notice that probably all or most of the motivation strategies were present. If you can do that, isn’t it possible that you could do this? How important is the change to you? If it’s not frequently on your radar screen, perhaps you don’t really care enough about it to make the shift. Why is changing this habit important to you? And why is that important? What kind of person believes this change you desire is worthwhile pursuing? Is this the kind of person you wish to be? When you have identified the beliefs, values and identity that will enable you to imagine this behavior change is really possible, hold them inside your heart and allow them to take their place from there, spreading throughout your physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual self. Repeat this morning and night, as part of your morning and evening rituals until it feels natural. Miracle Cures are not the motivation Real behaviour change is possible when you have the strategies to start and maintain your motivation, when you can see what you want, have placed the new behavior inside a ritual you already do, believe it’s possible, value the new behavior and think you are the sort of person who does that. www.successtrategies.com

NEW YEAR

Two Steps for Compelling Resolutions The New Year is upon us and everyone is thinking about New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s resolutions. Faith Tait explains why we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t keep them and what we can do to change that

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NEW YEAR

ew Year’s Day is enough days on from the winter solstice for us to thankfully notice that daylight is lasting longer. It is exquisitely both a natural and traditional opportunity for ritualising going through a portal, crossing a threshold, into - a New Year. New starts. A New You. New Year Resolutions. An appropriate moment and a resourceful frame of mind for a spot of life design. Yet, even though this moment might be backed by a desire to now quit the excesses of the Christmas holidays, most New Year Resolutions don’t get realised, so they say. What happens? NLPers know that the likely success of any goal, outcome or resolution is vastly increased by it being wellformed. Very briefly so I can get to my first step, these conditions are that the resolution answers the question ‘what do you want to have happen?’ and is positively expressed - ‘I want to....’; it is imaginatively experienced by using all the internal representations of seeing, hearing and feeling - plus smelling and tasting if appropriate; it is entirely appropriate to you the resolution-setter as the person you are and are becoming; its impact on the other aspects of your life is desirable, acceptable or manageable; you consider what you might lose as well as gain; its initiation and maintenance is within your control; you have a working time-frame and decide what to do next. We know that by attending to these, we create the ‘reality’ of our resolution in our neuro-physiology, we clarify and motivate, and our unconscious processes begin to work out how to manifest it. However, we will then get on with living, requiring that these tender young formations weather any buffeting of everyday life and they become the beacon by which we steer our activity. Ideally we operate out of the state of success even as we bring about its realisation, but even NLP practitioners, says Joseph O’Connor so endearingly, experience highs and lows. At times, we are likely to need to snatch ourselves up out

of doldrums and despondency, by re-minding ourselves of our goal and refreshing ourselves with its exhilaration. We need the fast transformational magic of true inspiration - that heartbeat of ‘Yes!’ We may feel we don’t have time to rumble through our entire vision every time we need picking up, so that restorative is ideally short, strong and quick. And it is there to be found, within our well-formed resolution. I learned in one of my trainings that we can change our state in two tenths of a second. We can, given a stimulus like the sight of a loved one or the sound of their voice or their touch, go from being troubled to happy in two-tenths of a second. The trigger - and it can be actual, remembered or anticipated - starts a process producing a rush of feelgood chemicals giving us the feeling we give a name to: happiness, for example. Of course, we can go the other way, but who wants to do that?

NLPers know that the likely success of any goal, outcome or resolution is vastly increased by it being well-formed We don’t completely know how it happens. It is, I therefore claim, magic. So what you want from within your resolution is that chunk: the Magic Chunk. It keeps you on track, and restores you when necessary. Here’s an example. A friend sighed to me in a recent telephone conversation that she “just wanted the perfect job.” She knows she isn’t going to get away with that, nor would she want to. I asked her to say anything else about that perfect job, and then to describe her perfect day. We went through the who, what, when, why and where of it and after some time spent on these delightful elaborations, she became silent. Then it came: “And I just know I get on a plane to do business.” In a voice strong and even, she told how she was seeing herself do

this. Then she stepped into that and was silent while she mentally and emotionally experienced it first hand - associated. Then she dissociated, seeing herself doing it once more. Her future self waved happily to her, and when asked, gave her some words of advice. That was and is her magic chunk. If she becomes down-hearted, “I just know I get on a plane to do business” shifts her neurophysiology; this anchoring wordset is short, strong and quick. More than that - so much more - she is re-minded of the experiential entirety of her ‘perfect job’. That part carries the meaning of the whole. So the first step is to detect, by calibrating your states as you daydream your resolution, the magic chunk within. Notice it wasn’t the first thing my friend experienced. It came after having delved and explored the dream for a while. And while it’s part of the resolution, it’s not reductionist; far from it. For her, flying is the metaphorical deep structure of what she wants: its formerly hidden and very precious agenda. Step two is to name and frame the year within which to set your resolution. What’s in a name? A lot, and what a wasted opportunity to label a year with a number. Last year a group of us networked across the globe and named 2006 the Year of Harvest. So keen were we that we ritualised it. On New Year’s Day at an agreed time, dotted all over the world including the USA and New Zealand, most of us never having met each other, we simultaneously sat with our thoughts, naming the year. What a powerful frame for attending, learning and achieving it turned out to be. 2007 is the Year of Abundance. So spend some time dreaming and doodling your resolution, let your magic arise and name your Year. It’s probably way past January 1st as you are reading this but it’s never too late, is it? Chinese New Year is February 18th. And there’s a Janus moment - doorway, a portal, a threshold, a beginning - with every new morning. A Happy and Abundant New Year. www.faithtaitnlp.co.uk

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CELEBRITY

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CELEBRITY

Roger Black One of Britain’s leading athletes, Roger Black has had his fair share of set backs. Now he has turned all his sporting lessons into a motivational talk. He tells William Little about it oger Black is one of the country’s most successful sportsmen having represented Great Britain for fourteen years at the highest level in the world of athletics. He is particularly admired for his triumphs over adversity, overcoming serious injuries and a rare heart valve condition to go on to become a world champion. Roger won fifteen major Championship Medals including European, Commonwealth and World Championship Gold Medals. His greatest achievements were winning the Olympic 400 metres Silver Medal in 1996 and being part of the Gold Medal winning 4 x 400 metres relay team at the 1991 World Championships. He was British Men’s Team Captain and was awarded the M.B.E. in 1992. He is now a regular presenter for BBC sport, presenting the Sydney 2000 Olympics, the World Athletics Championships 2001 in Canada, the 2002 Commonwealth Games, the 2002 European Championships from Vienna and the World Championships from Paris in 2003. He is also a successful motivational speaker, talking at many corporate conferences inspiring and entertaining audiences. Roger possesses a deep knowledge of motivation and self-development. He understands the dynamics of becoming a champion, how to live a dream, set goals and take the necessary steps to fulfilling one’s potential. By combining

his experience of self motivation and attainable personal development, both on and off the track, he motivates organisations throughout the UK and Europe. His presentation includes the use of video footage to reinforce the key message “Excellence is within all of us, both individually and as part of a winning team...should you dare to grasp it!” And grasp it he did, but the way he grasped it - or the way he motivated himself - changed over the course of his racing career. “When I first started in athletics you were supposed to get focused in a particular way, which was to get pumped up and on edge before a race. By the end of my career I worked to have a sense of inner calm to achieve my best,” he says. He reveals that he used a lot of visualisation before each race and would listen to the same compilation tape of songs that would help to keep him focused and calm. “I’d listen to songs, such as Paul Weller or Aztec Camera, with a line in them that would inspire me, or calm me down,” he says. However, Black believes that, despite himself using visualisation a lot, the impression that top class athletes are doing a lot of mental training and that they know about it in depth is a myth. “Most athletes know they should do it, but don’t do it. They are much happier pumping themselves up or running than taking time out to

prepare mentally,” he says. Black reveals that mental preparation became important to him towards the end of his career for two reasons. “I had taken a lot of time out due to injury and operations so I had the time to read the books and listen to the tapes. Also towards the end of your career your body is not the same as it was, you know that you can’t depend on it as much as you used to,” he says. Yet he reveals that in order to benefit fully from mental preparation he scheduled time for it in his training plan. For him it was as important as physical preparation. “I’d schedule mental training for one hour a day. Prior to the 1996 Olympics, I was visualising every day,” he says. He says he visualised in the same way when he was injured and prior to a race. “I would see myself running well. It really was the same thing over and over, seeing myself running the perfect 400 metres race. I wasn’t looking down on myself, though, I was seeing myself running from within my own body. That is quite a challenge for other athletes to do apparently, but for me it worked quite well. I would also go to the stadium before hand and really implant that on my brain to see myself in the stadium running, it really helped.” He admits that when he was injured for a long period of time it was frustrating, but it also gave him the opportunity to become introspective and work out his goals. Yet while he

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CELEBRITY

may have had the time to absorb all the techniques, he says that athletes are lucky compared with most in their goal setting because what they want to achieve is often very straightforward - to win, to be the first over the line. If anything, the simplicity of an athlete’s goal is often used as a metaphor for other walks of life as it is so clear. “Most people don’t have this clarity in their

to tell, but just having a story wasn’t enough in the motivational market place. You also have to give something of value through which they can think about their own lives and what they are going to do. I basically communicate this through my story,” he says. “Different people get motivated by what I say in different ways.” He says that he doesn’t concentrate

Athletes are lucky compared with most because what they want to acheive is straightforward life,” he says, adding: “sports people can really apply all these motivational tools quite easily.” Yet he believes that the way that he achieved and viewed his success is transferable to other people not in sports. He believes that because he got inspiration from a range of sources, including books, music and film, that his story would also resonate with what other people are trying to achieve. “I come from having the principle that if you know one thing then you should do something with it, rather than having all the knowledge and not doing anything with it. Clearly, I had a story

on setting goals in his talks, but on what those goals mean and when to get them. The main areas he focuses on for high achievers and people at the top of their game, is that they shouldn’t just change things when they go wrong, but also when things appear to be going right. A small change could be the difference to getting a bigger and better result. One of the main enjoyments is the feedback he gets especially when members of the audiences don’t know who he is. “I had some people from Germany - why would they know who I was - but they were interested in listening to a motivational talk. But they

came to me at the end and thanked me because they had got so much from it. Delivering something that is universal means a lot to me. To be honest, that people are getting something from it who are not into sport and don’t know who I am - that I am not being judged as a celebrity - that is of real value.” He admits people might say, “Oh no, not another bloody sportsperson,” when they hear about his motivational talk, especially when the image of the Olympic athlete is that they are incredibly driven and very narrow in their outlook on life and have to win at all costs. Yet it is in the undermining of this that the originality and strength of his talk comes through. “Although I was focused on winning, I was determined that my achievement was not going to be solely defined by me winning the gold medal. In the 400 metres race in 1996 I was up against Michael Johnson, one of the greatest athletes of all time. This could be a demotivating factor if you think that all you’ll be is a loser if you don’t beat him. I redefined for myself what winning is. I came second and got the silver medal, but when I was up on that rostrum I was as happy as I could be. I had achieved my personal best. I knew that I had put in my best and I had achieved. Achieving is not always about winning.”

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COACHING

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COACHING

Life Clubs Nina Grunfield set up affordable life coaching for those people who couldn’t afford a one-to-one session. Now she has moved on further still and set up Life Clubs ife coaching might be aimed at supporting people to refocus their lives and helping them to achieve goals and boost confidence, but for many the cost is prohibitively expensive. Corporate coaching can start from £250 an hour, while one-to-one coaching for individuals can be £60 an hour, a big commitment if you aren’t earning that much. But this is where Nina Grunfield comes in, author of The Big Book of Us and the founder of Affordable Life Coaching, which has recently rebranded itself ‘Life Clubs’, because, she says, they offer much more than life coaching today. Nina has said that the idea of a network of life coaching clubs came to her when one day she was looking at the McDonald’s sign. She says she wanted a presence on every street corner, a chain of Affordable Life Coaching selfhelp groups. Rather than life coaching seeming a privilege for the already pampered naval-gazing middle classes, so the stereotype goes, she hit on the idea of charging only £15 a session and enabling the participants to help coach each other. Once a topic has been introduced the members coach each other, albeit under expert guidance. In September, however, the whole organisation went through a rebranding exercise because the clubs were offering visualisation, NLP, CBT, and a range of other techniques that, believes Grunfield, are beyond the scope of normal life coaches. Now they are called Life Clubs, yet the original idea remains that the clubs are run by a qualified coach trained by Grunfield, and participants still pay next to nothing and help coach each other. And it still works effectively, she says.

“One half of the session is structured, with the coach looking at balance charts and helping people to set a goal that can be achieved by the following week. The second part is freeflowing. In the free half we think about a topic applicable to everyone. It may not be relevant to your problem, but acts as an example of how to deal with an issue. For example, it could be thinking about eating problems, or what to do with your life when nearing retirement. This then becomes an exercise between two participants in the group,” she says. This idea is based on the hitchhiker principle that you can be completely relaxed with a stranger and tell them things that you wouldn’t tell your family or friends. “It is a written exercise so there are specific ways of asking questions and you can also ask your own questions - by asking those questions it can also help you find out more about yourself,” she says. Every week everyone is encouraged to note down an achievement from the previous week and also to talk about the best thing that happened to them that

clubs. They say the most wonderful things,” says Nina. “They realise that they are not alone in their problems and they feel an enormous benefit. It could be something simple like ‘I don’t know where to take my partner out’, and three or four people in the group will give suggestions. People find the whole process very supportive.” Each session can focus on different techniques as well. “We might use one session for visualisation, for instance, on making space for a new goal, or decluttering their minds and homes - address book, mind, the kitchen, it doesn’t really matter which bit it is. We also often start a session asking them to write down five areas which they would declutter and asking what would be the advantages of the decluttering process.” If some of the problems are to do with friends or a partner, Nina says that it can be useful to bring them to the session. “We’ve had partners working through issues, although they don’t work together in a session - it works best with someone else as it can bring up some areas they haven’t thought about.”

Every week everyone is encouraged to note down an achievement from the previous week and also to talk about the best thing that happened to them that day day. It moves people’s thinking towards showing that they can achieve something quickly, that no matter where they are in their lives, they can still achieve a goal. It also trains people to think about the positive aspects of their lives - what they have already got. “People are thrilled by coming to life

What is her own goal? To make money? “I’ve always been comfortably off so that doesn’t interest me. What I want is to create a product that grows, to help other people.” And her New Year resolution? “To make sure I apply to myself the things I recommend to others.”

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COACHING

CASE STUDY Graham Croney, 52, from Woodbridge, Surrey I’d read an article about affordable life coaching in a newspaper and thought that it looked interesting. The first thing that appealed to me was the ‘affordable’ aspect of it, which led me to believe that it wouldn’t be too expensive. I’d never considered life coaching before. I liked the idea of working in a group rather than individually. I was interested in the mutual support aspect of it. Some people might be embarrassed about that, but it is not like Alcoholics Anonymous where you have to stand up and talk about your issue. There is a lot of anonymity and if you wish you don’t have to talk about your problems explicitly to anyone. Our life coach, Gordon Melvin, chaired the sessions and told us what we would be talking about each session. There were 30 issues that were covered over the sessions. You can join in at any time, you don’t have to be there from the start of session one. If there was anything we didn’t want to discuss openly then he would be around at the end of the session to chat about it. We would then pair up and ask each other questions from a handout that we’d been given. They were designed so that you wouldn’t get just yes or no answers. For instance, you might ask ‘do you have a problem’, say if

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the evening was about relationships, and then the second question would be about thinking about solutions. It was a systematic approach and I think it worked very well. Another example was that it encouraged you to look at what you were good at. One session looked at the things you loved and felt you’d lost from your childhood. We examined each person’s list. For me it was my creative side. I felt that I was far more creative in my childhood than I was being in my life. It helped motivate me to start a long-term goal, which was to write a play - this gave me an enormous amount of satisfaction. We were also encouraged to set goals each week, monthly, yearly and for life. We were encouraged to write them down as we would be more likely to do them. The sessions helped me to deal with issues that I knew existed but I didn’t give priority too. I separated from my wife three years before and the place I was living in was untidy. I know there is a lot of buzz around decluttering your life - but it really worked. Now my place is much tidier. I also feel generally a lot more focused. We were encouraged to make goals bit-sized. Gordan said to us that if you were going to eat an elephant, you would you do it in small chunks over time or in bite-sized pieces. This means that no goal can be too big if you tackle it in manageable chunks.

COLUMN

Building your business part 2 Allan Smith, an experienced trainer of NLP based programmes, advises NLP trainers how to build their business and boost sales ince writing about building your business in the last issue of Rapport, I have had some very interesting meetings with many of you. I met up with one experienced NLP trainer in the less than inspiring surroundings of Hilton Park service station. Having spoken to this chap a couple of times on the phone, I was excited to hear of his plans to make a difference. After the usual period of building rapport, I asked him what he wanted to deliver. He counted out his options on his fingers. I will spare you the content but his description went like this: “I could do this, or this, or this, or I could do this which I really get a kick from and would love to do all the time, or I could do this”. Although it is not easy to get across in print, there was a dramatic change in his physiology when he described his fourth option to me. My feedback to him was to focus on what he really wanted to do, and let the other possibilities go. To be clear, his preferred option is to work with sales teams to improve their performance and be paid by results. This seems typical of what you people offer: Sound business benefits with tangible results. I chatted to another experienced trainer whilst walking along the Thames

towpath on a crisp autumn afternoon. She volunteered to me that she could help anyone do anything, from facilitating Boards of Directors to training dogs. Given the process focus of NLP, it seems quite possible that this was true. The challenge, however, is selling this idea to potential clients. My experience is that, in general, clients just do not believe that any one person can help in so many areas. They prefer to be presented with one offering at a time. Most of the NLP trainers I have met over the past few months operate either as individuals or as a pair of trainers. As a result, they probably only have around a hundred delivery days to sell. As the corporate market seems happy to pay between £1,000 and £2,000 per trainer per day, this still gives an above average income. One fascinating question is why such people, who are intelligent and open, refuse to let go of other opportunities, when they could be focusing on the one niche market that they could really serve with excellence. So, this month’s fundamental question to ask yourself is “What specific service do you really want to offer?” Perhaps it is to help people to do great presentations, or enable people to cope with stress much more effectively? Maybe you want to be supporting people to sell more? The range of possibilities is almost limitless.

You may need help to explore the barriers in your thinking that are preventing you from uncovering your unique niche and serving it. As a group of people, we are very lucky in having access to many experienced coaches. Log on to the ANLP website, hook up with one of the coaches listed there and work out what you want to offer, and how to overcome your barriers. Once you have decided what you want to deliver, then you also need to think about what sort of people you want as clients! When I did a lot of delivery, I enjoyed working with IT sales people. But we are all different. I know trainers who love working with Boards of Directors, people who prefer working with supervisors of middle managers, people who love working with charities, estate agents, any segment of the working population. So who do you want to spend your time with? So now you have established what you want to deliver, and to whom. Your next task is to identify and locate the people who will help you to achieve this. And that will be the focus of my article in the next issue of Rapport. Contact Allan via www.ignite.me.uk or www.allyoudo.co.uk

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��

A practical and generative new book:

Six Blind Elephants: understanding ourselves and each other

“I’m always impressed by Steve’s depth and breadth of knowledge and his willingness to push out the boundaries of NLP thinking and development. This book is yet another outstanding contribution to the field.” —Julian Russell, NLP Trainer & Transformational Executive Coach, PPD Consulting Ltd, London “Steve Andreas is an important innovator in the field of psychotherapy, and in this book he has succeeded at a monumental task. The distinctions that he makes are templates for understanding the essence of human understanding.” —Jeffrey K. Zeig, Ph.D., Director, The Milton Erickson Foundation. “This is NLP, but not as we know it. Steve presents simple new distinctions that offer innovative ways to understand how we think and change. I’d be pleased if I’d written a chapter of this, because every one is packed with realizations that emerge out of skillfully chosen examples, revealing what has been hidden in plain view. Breathtaking insights follow, as they do with any true advance in the study of human thought. All this,and he has the humility not to announce that NLP is superseded, and Six Blind Elephants is the replacement. Our field—and I’m thinking much bigger than NLP—has a new must-read; get it today.” —Richard Bolstad, NLP trainer, and author of Resolve: a new method of therapy, and Pro-fusion: creating a life of abundance. Read the Contents, Introduction, and Excerpts at: realpeoplepress.com/booklist/new.html

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BOOK REVIEWS

rapport book review Life Coaching for Dummies Jeni Mumford £12.99, Wiley The ‘For Dummies’ series seems now to encapsulate all there is to know about everything. The series goes on and on, but the secret to its well-earned success can be found in yet another book in its series on personal development. Life Coaching for Dummies works because it is easy to access with clearly defined chapters and easy-to-read and practical advice. This isn’t a book on theory, it is the ultimate work book, and the way that Wiley has cleverly designed it means you can

dip in and out of it at will and understand what is going on. So if I didn’t have the time to read the previous 190 pages, but I wanted to try to improve my mental or physical wellbeing I could turn to page 191 and begin working on those areas of my life straight away. Now that is a great motivational tool for all those people who never have any time for themselves. This book will get you thinking and acting about your life straight away - it is an excellent life coach.

The Buzz: A Practical Confidence Builder for Teenagers David Hodgson £6.99, Crown House Publishing It’s time to bring The Buzz into your classroom. Packed with interactive activities, practical tips and humour, it has something for every student. The Buzz blends all the richness and energy of NLP and Personality type theory and is presented in a style designed to inspire and educate both teachers and students. The Buzz is an exciting collection of interactive techniques developed with teachers and students which informs and inspires young people to make positive life choices. Contents include: How to become the best you; personality assessment; how to increase confidence, self-esteem, motivation and self-

awareness; how to relax and reduce stress; managing negative behaviour; study skills; and revision techniques. Surveys conducted by the author found that young people consistently desire the same 3 things from life - to be happy, confident and successful. The Buzz shows them how to achieve all of these through a fantastic and illuminating journey of self-discovery. Complex theories and approaches are clearly presented in an easy-to-understand form. A unique and highly effective method of realising potential and being the best you can be. This book is a good companion for young people, parents and teachers alike.

Expectation - The Very Brief Therapy Book Rubin Battino £20, Crown House Publishing This practical book is about utilizing the power of expectation when working with clients. It’s Rubin Battino’s idea that creating an environment where the client expects to change is the foundation of doing effective very brief therapy. In his own private practice where he rarely sees clients more than once or twice. Clients know in advance that this is the way he works, and so their expectation

is that during each session they are going to get down to the hard stuff and resolve their concerns, insofar as that is possible. This means working as if each session is the last one. So, this book is about all of the things that are designed to work in a single-session mode. He reviews a number of therapies including Erickson and Very Brief Therapy and Solution-Orientated Approaches.

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AUTHOR INTERVIEW

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Winter 2006 - rapport

AUTHOR INTERVIEW

Ahead of the Game NLP coach Jeremy Lazarus’s book ‘Ahead of the Game’ brings NLP and sports coaching together in a very practical read. William Little speaks to him

hen you get a seriously experienced sports psychologist from Britain’s leading sports university, Loughborough, eulogising about how effective your application of NLP is for improving sports performance, as does JJ Smith in the forward of Jeremy Lazarus’s book ‘Ahead of the Game’, you know, excuse the pun, you’re on to a winner. NLP is not about explaining ‘why’ a sports person is not performing well, says Smith, but about the ‘how’ - the ‘how’ to get them playing consistently, how to build their confidence in a few minutes when they’ve just lost a match, and how to return them to good form. As Smith says for himself: “Within the book, Jeremy simplifies the learnings of what at first glance are some complex areas through the activities that he presents, the tips that he supplies and the

intriguing personal stories he provides as to how he has worked with athletes to enable them to make huge leaps in their performance - all of which allows the reader to extract the vital information presented quickly and effectively. “I urge anybody who is an athlete wishing to improve their sporting potential, or anybody working within the athlete set-up to read this book and challenge themselves to implement the learnings from it in all aspects of their lives.” Well, you couldn’t get a finer endorsement than that. It is true that NLP has the tools to do all Smith says, and Lazarus’s book is written in such a way as to show anyone interested in improving a sportsperson’s performance, from tennis, football, to golf, to do this. Jeremy himself, a former semi-amateur footballer, turned accountant, turned to

coaching sports players when he found the clients who he was coaching for better success in business were coming to him saying that they were improving their sports performance using the techniques he had taught them for business. “One woman told me she’d beaten her brother at tennis using NLP techniques, while another improved their performance in the triathlon,” he says. When he started coaching good amateur sports players they started doing “spectacularly well,” he says. “One club tennis player was in a final with her club coach and she wanted some coaching five minutes before hand to remove some limiting beliefs. She had never beaten him before. She went out, played really well and won.” Remarkable. Over the last year he has worked virtually exclusively on improving sports

rapport - Winter 2006

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AUTHOR INTERVIEW

performance and writing his book. He had a clear idea that he wanted it to be practical - that coaches could read this book and pick up lots of practical advice quickly. About 80 per cent of the content of the books he reads, he says, are written for the author, but he wanted his to be for the reader. “I put myself in the readers’ heads. If I were them what would I want to know,” he says. He also wrote it as though he was having a conversation with them. “My intention all the way through was to keep it as practical as possible, including a little bit of theory but keeping it to the bare minimum. I explain NLP for those readers who haven’t come across it before, but the bulk of the book is a whole series of practical techniques. The key thing for a sports person is results. They have theories coming out of their ears, but on the football pitch results are what matter,” he says. But what is the main reason behind not doing well on the sports field? “I think it is a combination of things. Some times it is lack of confidence, needing to be in the right state of mind - being in the zone and being able to replicate that, and sometimes it is an issue of belief, changing a belief that you are not good enough or that you feel that you don’t

goal that NLP can help improve. “If you are going to compete against other people, the best you can do for yourself is to do your best. You could be running the 100 metres and be running the best you can, but there could be someone else running who

The quality of practice and training is a big factor in performance. Practice makes permanent, but only perfect practice makes perfect deserve to win. Then there are aspects outside of sport such as relationships, health, and family matters.” Jeremy says he uses an equal amount of common sense and pragmatism as well as NLP techniques when he is coaching. “One of my clients was always anxious before events because she felt that she hadn’t prepared well enough. We worked out that she was always in a mad rush to pack her bag before she left for an event, so when she was driving she become anxious thinking she had forgotten something. All she needed to do was to make a list and pack her bag the night before, which worked to take away the anxiety.” Throughout the book, Jeremy refers readers to their PB, or personal best, which for a sports person is the ultimate

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Winter 2006 - rapport

is a better athlete and wins. But if you have achieved your PB then that is all you can ask of yourself.” He also reveals that the quality of practice and training is a big factor in performance. “Practice makes permanent, but only perfect practice makes perfect,” he says. Visualisation, a key NLP technique, is an essential practice for many sports people. “It is important to work with the unconscious mind.” Yet, he says, “it is one thing to visualise everything going wonderfully, it is another to visualise things when they go wrong - it is important to know how to get to the right place when things aren’t going well, which can happen in competitions. Champions get in the right place from the wrong place. Steve Backley, the Olympic Javelin thrower, used to make a list of all the things that could go wrong and then

come up with ways to overcome them - it could be a false start for a runner - mental rehearsal before an event is crucial.” He gives an example where NLP has worked for someone in difficulty. One Cross Channel Swimmer he worked with wasn’t able to finish the last five miles of the swim on her first attempt. “I saw her two weeks before her second channel swim to help her to visualise and work out what had happened last year. When she visualised the last five miles she got quite upset, she couldn’t carry on. So I got flexible. I asked her to imagine herself having already reached the coast. I asked her to do this to gain a different perceptual position and then asked what the version of her on the coast would say to the one still swimming. It was quite funny - it said ‘hurry up will you, I’m getting cold.’ The version of herself on the beach helped the one in the water eventually get through the five-mile barrier and then I got them to integrate into one on the coast and to take that knowledge with her back on to the boat and then to watch herself again swim the last five miles and to give herself advice in the water,” says Lazarus. During the real swim, she took over 20 hours to finish, but she still managed to do it. “I have a lot of respect for her, she must be really good to have the stamina to be in the water for that long. The last four hundred yards took her an hour because of the outgoing tide and head wind. At one point the crew of the support boat thought it was dangerous enough to pull her out, but she wouldn’t let them, she carried on and finished it.” With such a clear idea of how to achieve one’s PB in sport, I ask Jeremy whether it is his patriotic duty to send his book to the England football coach. Amazingly, he answers that he bumped into Terry Venables and Steve McClaren in a hotel bar in Manchester just before the game against Macedonia earlier in the year and asked McClaren where he should send the book when it is published. Jeremy hopes that at that level the coaches may well be using NLP already, but, if not, then this book can certainly go a long way to getting the England players, and any sports player, be they amateur or Olympic hopefuls to achieve their very best. www.thelazarus.com

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NETWORKING

rapport networking contact Practice Group of the month

Elizabeth M. Pritchard tells us about NLP in Cornwall

ou are surfing with me - waves under your feet, sun on your skin, wind in your hair, you and your memories - NLP in Cornwall. Now at the landmark building - The Knowledge Spa - via a room in Truro’s Globe pub, and Tania’s immaculate kitchen - 4 years ago. Two of us (Elizabeth Pritchard and Tania Hopkinson) set out to do this and now host regular monthly groups of between ten and thirty people. Local expertise and guest speakers from up country - north of the Tamar river - and this January 2007 Pamela Gawler-Wright visits Zetetic Master Practitioner programme with her seminal seminar Wider Mind(TM). Practice groups are open to anyone interested in NLP, any level of experience, any sector, any profession, any walk of life and take place on the 4th Wednesday every month - usually £5 per session unless we have to

England - North

Newcastle Upon Tyne

Cheshire, Ellesmere Port

Tel: 0191 456 3930 Mob: 0777 228 1035

Nancy Moss Tel: 077 8900 6856

Philip Brown

Email: Nancy.moss@nhs.net

North Yorkshire

Harrogate Practice Group

Tel: 016242 310 022

Lisa & Mark Wake

England - South Bedfordshire Melody Cheal Tel: 01767 640956 Email: info@gwiztrainig.com www.gwiztraining.com

Berks - Reading

Tel: 01326 212 959

Email: Awakenconsulting@aol.com www.awakenconsulting.co.uk

elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com

North Cumbria - Carlisle

Tel: 01189 831659/ 01189 835 202 Mob: 07778 150641

Elizabeth Pritchard

Anne Munro-Kua & Adrian Banger

Lancaster Practice Group Dave Allaway Tel: 01524 847 070 E: dave@depthfour.com www.depthfour.com

Tel: 01228 517 716 Email: anne@annemunro-kua.com www.annemunro-kua.com

North West & North Wales (Chester)

Lancs - Nr Clitheroe

Gary Plunkett

Dawn Haworth

Tel: 08707 570 292

Tel: 01254 824 504

Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk nlp4fun@aol.com

Email: admin@nlpand.co.uk www.nlpand.co.uk

Leeds - West Yorkshire Liz Tolchard

North West Business and Emotional Intelligence Group (Manchester)

pay more for a particular speaker (maximum charge ever: £20). The sessions are lively, interactive, fun, thought-provoking, and welcoming - so if you want to join in, the south west railway is beautiful, Newquay airport is expanding, and the waves are beckoning! Read more about Zetetic, the host organisation at http://www. zeteticmind.com, or contact elizabeth@zeteticmind.com, or ring Elizabeth on 01326 212 959. Warm regards Elizabeth 01326 212959 www.zeteticmind.com

Anne-Marie Halliwell

Email: amh@cmcgconsultancy.com www.cmcg-nlp.com

England South London Practitioners Jeremy Lazarus Tel: 020 8349 2929 Email: Jeremy@thelazarus.com www.thelazarus.com

Hertfordshire Your Life Matters NLP & Hypnosis practice group Mick McEvoy Tel: 0208 387 0277 Mob: 07973 386 639 Email: mick.mcevoy1@ntlworld.com

London - Hampstead Bucks - Milton Keynes

Najma Zaman

Michael Beale

Tel: 020 8926 1297 mob: 07950477318

Tel: 01908 506563 Mob: 07944 388621 Email: michaelbeale@ppimk.com www.ppimk.com

Email: firstpath@btinternet.com

London - Central Adrian Hope-Lewis

Bucks NLP & Coaching Alison Matthews

Tel: 07970 639552 Mob: 07970 639552

Tel: 07976 246151

www.nlpgroup.freeserve.co.uk

Email: alisonbmatthews@yahoo.co.uk

London - Central

Tel: 01943 873 895 Mob: 07909 911 769

Andy Smith Tel: 0845 83 855 83

Chiswick

Email: liztolchard@hotmail.com

Email: andy@practicaleq.com www.manchesternlp.co.uk

Jonathan Bowder

(Business) Mark Underwood

Tel: 0208 992 9523

Tel: 020 7249 7472

Email: Jonathan@performancepartners hip.com www.performancepartnership.com

London East - Stratford, E15

Manchester NLP Group Gary Plunkett

York

Tel: 08707 570292

Susanna Bellini & Philip Callaghan

Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk nwnlpgroups@aol.com

Tel: 01904 636 216 Email: info@bronze-dragon.com www.bronze-dragon.com/nlp_group. shtml

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Winter 2006 - rapport

Sharon Eden Tel: 020 8597 9200 Email: sharon.eden@livinzest.com

NETWORKING

London NLP & Hypnosis Practice Group

Sussex - Chichester

Cornwall Practice Group

Emily Terry

Elizabeth Pritchard

Phillip Holt

Tel: 01243 792 122 Mob: 07810 876 210

Tel: 01326 212 959

Tel: 08451 306213 Mob: 07061 003 003 Email: enquiries@nlp-london.com www.nlp-london.com

North London NLP Tom MacKay

Email: info@evolutiontraining.co.uk www.evolutiontraining.co.uk

elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com

Sussex - Worthing

Devon - South-West (totnes) NLP Support Group

Email: jim@espconsultancy.co.uk

Alice Llewellyn & Anna Scott-Heyward Tel: 01803 866706/01803 323885

West Midlands Worcestershire Sharon Rooke & David Smallwood Tel:01905 352 882 Email: sharon@SCRassociates.com info@centralnlp.co.uk www.SCRassociates.com

Warwks - Rugby

Tel: 07815 879 055

West Sussex - Chichester

Email: tom@mackaysolutions.co.uk www.northlondonnlp.co.uk

Andy Austin

Devon - Torquay

Tel: 01788 576 626

Tel: 07838 387 580

Chris Williams

Email: andrew@23nlpeople.com www.23nlpeople.com

Tel: 0781 354 9073

Email: ralph@dynamiccommunication.com www.dynamic-communication.co.uk/ home.html

London West - Richmond NLP Group (Skills and Practice Group & Speaker Sessions) Henrietta Laitt

England - East

Tel: 0208 874 8203 Mob: 07880 614 040

Cambridgeshire

Email: henrietta@resultsfor success.com www.resultsforsuccess.com

Tel: 07711 711 123

Oxford Jan Freeston Tel: 01865 516 136

Phil Jones Email: phil@excitant.co.uk www.cambsnlp.co.uk

Essex - Colchester Julian Campbell

Janinefreeston@aol.com

Tel: 08707 461 257 Mob: 01473 326 980

South East London & City

Email: nlp@lifechangingtherapies.co.uk www.lifechangingtherapies.co.uk/ colnlp.html

Simon Hedley

Aberdeen

Email: nick@nlp-southwest.co.uk www.nlp-southwest.co.uk

Christine Burgess

Dorset

Email: nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk

John Chisholm or Brian Morton Tel: 01202 42 42 50

Tel: 01309 676 004

Edinburgh Centre of Excellence Practice Group

Edinburgh NLP Practice Group

Nigel Heath

Patrick Wheatley & Sheena Wheatley

Pauline Oliver

Tel: 01794 390 651

Tel: 01702 203465

Email: heatherapy@aol.com www.nlp-south.org.uk

Tel: 07765244030/ 0131 664 4344

South London NLP Practice Group

Steve Marsden or Mark Spall

South Croyden

Scotland

Tel: 01579 345 523 Mob: 07832 357 208

Hants - NLP South

Essex - Southend

Email: elizabeth@crestcoaching.com www.crestcoaching.com

Nick Evans

Michael Spence

Email: londonpractice@psithinking. co.uk www.psithinking.co.uk/londonnlp practicegroup.htm www.ultimatecalm.com

Tel: 07747 607 717

Devon & Cornwall NLP Practice Group

Email: john@creative-leadership.co.uk bmhrd@btinternet.com www.nlpdorset.co.uk

Tel: 07930 275 223

Elizabeth Petch & Richard Hagan

Ralph Watson

Ipswich Tel:01473 214923 (Steve) 01473 652054 (Mark) Email: steve_marsden@btopenworld. com www.markspall.com/IpsNLP.htm

Redbridge - Ilford

England - Midlands East Midlands NLP Group William Wood Tel: 01332 347141 x2556/ 01332 669364

Tel: 0131 664 7854 msnlp@btconnect.com

Email: wheatley.co@btconnect.com sheena@changingperceptions.org.uk www.changingperceptions.org.uk

Glasgow Mina McGuigan Tel: 01236 610 949 Mob: 07916 275 605 Email: mina@nlpacademyscotland.co.uk www.nlpacademyscotland.co.uk

Glenda Yearwood

Midlands - Birmingham

Tel: 020 8708 3876

Mandy Ward

Glasgow - NLP in Education

Email: glenda.yearwood@redbridge. gov.uk www.redbridge.gov.uk

Tel: 0121 625 7193 Mob: 07740 075669

Jeff Goodwin

Email: mandy.ward3@virgin.net

Email: jeff@nlpscotland.com www.nlpscotland.com

Sussex - Brighton

England - West

Northants - Northampton

Association of NLP Practitioners Terry Elston

Ron Sheffield

Inverness (Highlands of Scotland)

Avon - Bath

Tel: 01604 812800

Rosie Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Hara

Email: ronald.sheffield@virgin.net www.nlpgroups.org

Tel: 01309 676 004

David Hamilton Tel: 020 8686 9952 Mob: 0776 964 3912 Email: davidh@realnlp.co.uk www.nlpacademy.co.uk

Tel: 0800 074 6425

Philippe Roy Tel: 01225 404 050

Tel: 0870 060 1549/0141 248 6484

Email: nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk

Email: enquiries@nlpworld.co.uk www.nlpworld.co.uk www.nlp-brighton-assoc.org

Email: pr@in-focus.org www.bathnlp.co.uk

Nottingham

Bristol

Tel: 07810 484 215

Sussex - Brighton

David Griffiths

Katie Bickerdike

Tel: 01179 423 310

Shropshire & Mid Wales Practice Group

Tel:01903 821 172 Mob: 07903 564 760 Email: katie@sussex.co.uk www.sussex.co.uk/nlp

Email: david@metamorphosis.me.uk

Nick Greer

Tim Morrell Email: tim@focushigher.co.uk

Wales

Tel: 01743 361133 Email: nlpgroup@nickgreer.com

www.nickgreer.com

Practice Groups meet regularly and give you the chance to share experiences with like minded individuals and fellow professionals. They also offer you the opportunity to further your knowledge and add to your Continual Professional Development (CPD) through informed lectures and workshops. For further information on the Practice Groups listed, please log on to our website, www.anlp.org If you would like to add your Practice Group to this list or change existing details, please contact Lala on 0870 787 1978 or email members@anlp.org.

rapport - Winter 2006

| 49

ENDNOTE

Teenagers and NLP Joe Cheal asks whether there should be an age limit to becoming an NLP coach oes NLP need a minimum age requirement? What is the ecology of a twelve year old becoming a master practitioner? These questions are asked not as an intellectual exercise but from a recent concern raised after discovering that 12 year olds have qualified to Master Practitioner level in North America. There are two issues here: firstly the teaching of NLP to children and teenagers and secondly the use of NLP with children and teenagers.

decision making and response (state) control. When faced with a task of identifying emotions on peoples faces (an essential part of calibration), young teens performed poorly, activating the amygdala (a brain centre that mediates fear and other “gut” reactions) more than the frontal lobe. With low levels of ethical thinking and poor state control, what implications does this have if a twelve year old is practicing NLP on other twelve year olds in the playground at school?

1) On the teaching of NLP to children and teenagers It could be argued that exposure to an ethical field of psychology at an early age is a good thing. If children understood themselves and others better, perhaps there would be less anxiety and bullying. Perhaps if teenagers better understood their own motivators, there would be an increase in self esteem. Perhaps if they learnt how to manage their states more effectively, there would be less ‘acting out’.

Is NLP ecological for children and teenagers on a social level? Some aspects of NLP would be invaluable for children and teenagers, for example, reading and learning strategies. Perhaps an introduction to some of the metaprograms would aid tolerance and understanding. Some ‘lite’ form of state management might also be helpful, for example, changing the direction of the emotional spin and giving it a different colour. However, where is the line to be drawn? What benefit can be had from teaching children the finer art of Ericksonian Hypnosis? Is it sound for a twelve year old to be performing ‘change personal history’? Most children and teenagers are wide open to social validation and peer conformity. The teenage years are the time of seeking independence and proving oneself. This is the time of establishing identity, sorting for same and sorting for difference. Perhaps such skills as hypnosis are too tempting not to abuse.

Is NLP ecological for children and teenagers on a biological level? Recent research reported by the National Institute of Mental Health (a US Federal agency for research) is “shedding light on how teens may process emotions differently than adults”. In teens, the frontal lobe of the brain is not fully developed and doesn’t develop until young adulthood. The frontal lobe is responsible for cognitive processing and other ‘executive’ functions including planning, ethical

50 |

Winter 2006 - rapport

The ecology of NLP (which rely heavily on the presuppositions) is the one thing that prevents NLP from being misused and abused. Like any other skill, NLP is open to manipulation but as we are fond of telling people, it is not NLP itself that is manipulative; it is the way people use it. In the absence of tightly monitored external regulations, ecology is the one thing that keeps NLP healthy. Many adults find understanding the presuppositions of NLP challenging enough. It would take significant degree of maturity in a child or teenager to do the same. 2) On the use of NLP with children and teenagers Surely, if a child or teenager is suffering from a phobia, it would seem right to help in the best way possible. Surely the benefits of doing a phobia cure outweigh any ecological issues? Are some of the NLP processes okay to use with children and teenagers (whilst others are not)? What about hypnotherapy? What is the ecology of using trance work with children and teenagers? Again, where is the line to be drawn and who draws the line? The issue here appears more complex than the teaching of NLP. On the one hand, there is much that NLP could offer in helping youngsters, but on the other hand, there is still the issue of cognitive and emotional immaturity and what impact might it have on the developing brain? Perhaps anyone who wishes to use NLP with under 18s should be qualified specifically to do so and registered.

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