Rapport 10 - Winter 2007

ISSUE TEN

WINTER 2007

Sue Stockdale Inspirational and motivational adventurer

New Year, New Start Reverse your resolutions

TPM

And neurological change

Dharma Gaynes

Combining NLP and energy work

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contents

winter 2007

Regulars 4 NEWS 6 DEBATE

Supporting NLP Practitioners

Welcome to the Winter Issue

8 COLUMN

of Rapport. We’ve had some personnel changes since September. Emma has joined us part time because Lala has gone off to Australia and New Zealand for 6 months travelling. She admitted that this was partly thanks to the NLP practitioner training she had done earlier this year, which had helped her to set some clear goals, and turn her dream into reality.

12 REVIEW

Talking of achieving goals, the importance of focusing on ‘the goal beyond the goal’ is the topic of Michael Carroll’s article, and is very relevant to this time of year, when we have time to reflect on our achievements during the past year, and start to wonder about our resolutions for 2008.

43 BOOK REVIEWS

Eve then takes these a step further and gives us some really useful guidance for setting, and then keeping those New Year resolutions for the whole year, and even in to 2009.

My own passion is around getting NLP into the Education Sector, and I am really looking forward to the inaugural meeting of the Trustees for the NLP into Education charity we are setting up in the New Year. I am sure we will have more to report on that in a future issue.

In order to get NLP more widely recognised and appreciated by the Education sector, it is important that it is backed by some solid academic research, so we are working in partnership with the University of Surrey, to deliver the first International Academic Research Conference next July.

So you can see we certainly have some big plans for 2008…and yes, our dream home continues to grow, albeit slowly – cold weather living in a caravan certainly chivvies us along in the mornings!

The whole Rapport team hope you had a wonderful Christmas, and wish you a healthy and prosperous New Year.

Karen Moxom

6

22

Presuppositions of NLP

30 ANLP DEVELOPMENT

International Academic Research Conference

40 DIARY

Events taking place over the next few months The latest books reviewed by our panel

14

44 AUTHOR INTERVIEW Sue Stockdale

46 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT Write and They Will Listen

48 REGIONAL GROUPS

Evolution Practice Group

50 ENDNOTE

10

44 Cover stories

The Truth Will Defend Itself?

Features 10 NLP

Dharma Gaynes

14 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT Thought Pattern Management™

18 EDUCATION Agents of change

20 INTERNATIONAL

32 NLP

22 CELEBRITY

34 BUSINESS

24 RESEARCH

38 TRAINING

Practitioner Training in Inda

Nina Barough Walks the Walk Presupposing Excellence

Goal Beyond the Goal Towergate Professional Risks Salad - Do What you Love

26 HEALTH

New Year, New Start

Editorial Team: Caitlin Collins, Andy Coote, Eve Menezes Cunningham, Mandy Smith Team@rapportmag.com, 0845 053 1162 Art Editor: Enzo Zanelli Advertising: David Hammond david@rapportmag.com, 0845 053 1189 Membership, subscriptions and back issues: Emma Tunnadine Members@anlp.org, 0845 053 1162

Publisher: Karen Moxom karen@rapportmag.com, 0845 053 1162 Company Reg No. 05390486 Phoenix Publishing Ltd PO Box 3357, EN5 9AJ Rapport published by Phoenix Publishing on behalf of ANLP. Printed in the UK Design: Square Eye Design

DISCLAIMER The views within this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, nor does the publisher endorse the products or services promoted in the magazine. Articles are for information only and intent is to inform. Readers should seek professional advice before adopting any suggestions or purchasing any products herein.

rapport - Winter 2007

| 3

ANLP CPD Online now live

NEWS

Award winning NLP Sales Training

Visit www.anlp.org for more information

www.paulmckenna.com

E

mma Sargent of Ambo trained the majority of client facing sales executives at ITV over a six month project last year. The two day workshop focussed on techniques to gain deeper insight of customers’ needs that has lead to more money on the table for ITV. The workshop was part of a wider programme which subsequently won a regional award at the National Training Awards 2007 as an example of excellent and effective training. Emma Sargent was understandably thrilled at the news; “It is wonderful to receive hard proof that your work is making such a difference.”

Gary Digby, Director of Customer Relations at ITV had this to say about it: “Emma’s contribution made a huge impact in terms of equipping the sales people with the skills to build more positive relationships with their clients and target the ITV offerings more appropriately. Emma’s unique collection of NLP inspired strategies has really taken hold.”

Emma Sargent can be contacted at emma@ambo.ltd. uk or on 07779 252930

P

aul McKenna Training has launched a new and improved website www. paulmckenna.com.

The new online design for Paul McKenna’s training company is to encourage more of a community feel amongst browsers and to provide a place where users with common interests in topics from his portfolio of personal development courses including Neuro Linguistic Programming will have the opportunity to engage in group discussions, network with other members, find and offer advice and share experiences.

The NLP section of the Paul McKenna Training website offers a comprehensive explanation of NLP for those new to the theory. Other tools include a detailed description of NLP methodology and a glossary

explaining NLP terminology and FAQ’s. There is also an interactive forum where those with a common interest in NLP can share experiences and exchange advice and tips.

The website contains full details of forthcoming events hosted

by Paul McKenna and colleagues in an easy to read format.

Membership to the website is free and is open to anyone interested in Paul McKenna’s approaches and techniques to self improvement and a happier life. Rapport readers are being offered 10% off Paul McKenna’s forthcoming April NLP Practitioner course if booked before 31.01.08* So to find out more simply call 0845 230 2022 and quote NLP 71102 *Not in conjunction with any other offer.

What will you do differently in 2008? And how will you kick-start the new year?

I

f you’re a business owner, ambitious in your career or have big goals for your life, you can make ONE decision today that will help you create the things you want. And you just need to be free on Monday 14th January 2008. Why? It’s called ONE:08.

One day. One great opportunity to discover a wealth of strategies and tactics to master your financial,

F

ollowing on from the launch of her brilliant book last year, Emma Sargent is working in conjunction with Henwood Associates to offer a one day workshop in Kent entitled ‘Give your Child Flying Start’. This workshop will help you to explore how you can support and encourage your children to achieve their very best. Designed to allow you to practice and explore NLP tools, specifically designed for use with children, this one day is a really exciting venture and gives you an

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Winter 2007 - rapport

business and personal life – and it doesn’t matter where you are today, or how successful (or otherwise) you think you are. Come and see Dr. John Demartini, inspirational speaker and author at this special one-off event on 14th January 2008 at Jury’s Inn in Central Milton Keynes. This is the only opportunity to see Dr Demartini in a series of workshops outside of

opportunity to hear Emma, talk about her passion, which is helping children to reach their full potential.

Many parents feel overwhelmed at times, not knowing which way to turn or how to do the best for their children. ‘Give your Child a Flying Start’ has been shown to offer practical tools that parents can use immediately.

If you are passionate

London while he is in the UK, and here’s the best bit…

You can attend for as little as £20. (That’s less than the price of a 2008 office wall-planner!) Simply choose the session or sessions you’d like to attend. Book today at http://www.drdemartini.co.uk/ disc_order.html or phone Ardour UK on 0844 8844 655 for more information.

about helping children and you would like to come along to gain new skills, which could literally change the life and results of a child you love – then get in touch and reserve your place.

The course is on Friday January 11th 2008 (9.45am-2.30pm) in Otford Methodist Church Hall, High Street, Otford, Kent Come and join us for a fun, inspiring and valuable day, and for £75, you can invest in a life time of achievement for your children.

Call Henwood Associates on 07723 602584, or get the booking form from www.henwoodassociates.co.uk

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WINTER 2006

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THE MAGAZINE FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Rapport is the quarterly magazine of ANLP, and is available to members as part of their membership. It is also available by subscription and appeals to anyone who has an interest in NLP, Coaching, Hypnotherapy and other areas of Personal Development.

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DEBATE

Supporting NLP Practitioners into business In this issue, we ask a seemingly simple question about supporting new NLP Practitioners who want to offer NLP support to others. The results are less than simple and raise some familiar issues, as Andy Coote finds out

S

ometimes this debate begins with a simple question and, as conversations progress, it moves into more complex, and more familiar, territory. So it was with this month, which began by asking, on behalf of a reader, whether we need to train NLP Practitioners in how to set up and run a business. As you will see, it is by no means agreed that Practitioners should be using their newly learnt skills to work with others and there is some confusion about how we should check the capability of a Practitioner to deliver NLP to others.

Mandy Taylor is a coach but she wasn’t always. She came to coaching before NLP but her background is in Programme Management where she has been a Practitioner for some years. In order to win business in that area, she has to have credentials and those are endorsed by the Office of Government Commerce (OGC) and administered by The Association of Project Management.

As many of us do, Mandy came into personal development because events in her life led her to question who she was and what she was doing. Getting involved in NLP was a leap of faith because, years ago, whilst doing a course that was NOT billed as NLP but which used elements of it, she had been left vulnerable and re-living traumatic events.

It made her wary of NLP. In the event, she needn’t have worried. Her trainer was excellent and she began to see the power of NLP as she began to use it as part of her coaching practice.

Other people were on her NLP course for many reasons. Some were there to understand themselves better and be able to change, some were there to enhance their own existing abilities and some were there because they saw NLP as a business opportunity.

As Mandy puts it, “Some of those people clearly didn’t know how to begin setting up

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Winter 2007 - rapport

a business. There were one or two of them that I would have had severe doubts about if they began offering therapy.” She began to ask herself questions about how the ‘NLP profession’ was supporting those individuals.

“There was no training or guidance about the issues and risks involved in setting up in business and no apparent checks on suitability.

There seemed to be no professional standards – and no provision for supervision.”

Mandy contacted ANLP and asked the question that became our debate topic – could the NLP profession be doing more to help new Practitioners set up in business?

As well as asking Mandy to try to answer her own question, I also took it to three trainers in NLP to get their views. With all of the participants, including Mandy, we began with another question – what does it mean to be a practitioner? And maybe a more subtle version – what should it mean?

The term practitioner is used differently in many contexts, but generally one dictionary definition “someone who practices a learned profession” seems to fit most of them. “The Practitioner Course is a means towards selfdevelopment,” offers Michael Beale. Nick Kemp is inclined to agree, “People sometimes

DEBATE

have greater expectations from a short training than it is possible to deliver. After learning skills and techniques people need ‘flying hours’ before they are able to practice ‘solo’. People should do at least Master Practitioner before even entertaining the idea of doing therapeutic work” Nick quotes Frank Farrelly, creator of Provocative Therapy, “how would you expect to be the master of anything in 20 days?”

Mandy Taylor is less clear-cut on this topic.

“Maybe it depends on the individual”, she suggests. Certainly prior qualification in an area like medicine or counselling may mean that Practitioner level NLP is simply another skill to add to the set but how would anyone know that? “No assessment was made prior to my training other than basic mental health and medication checks,” comments Mandy, “nothing to see if I was a suitable person.

Nobody on the course failed and no supervision was expected as course members moved on to use NLP in their lives and work.”

Jeremy Lazarus sees the problem in a different way. There are, he notes, many different approaches to Practitioner training and the right one for an individual will depend on what he or she wants from the course. “When they book a course, they need to be clear what they want and to ask appropriate questions of the training organisation. For example, someone taking an experiential course may not come away with an understanding of how to use the techniques with others and when they should – and should not – be used. If the student knows what they want from the course – for example to be able to work therapeutically with others – they need to tell the provider ‘this is what I want from the course’. If the provider can’t or won’t provide that, they should make the student aware. The ANLP website has a guide to choosing an NLP Trainer which is a good starting point.”

Not all of the students who are looking for an NLP course are quite that self-aware. Some will be looking for ideas and inspiration before taking their next move. “The trainer needs to ensure that they know what their students are looking for and that the course will provide it,” suggests Jeremy Lazarus. “As well as ensuring that all students are psychologically sound

how would you expect to be the master of anything in 20 days? before taking part, it may be good practice to ensure that the student’s expectations are properly managed before they start on the course and they need to be grounded in reality.

There needs to be an alignment ecologically” Michael Beale also understands the issue about pre-selection. “I’m in a niche – NLP for Business People - where my candidates for training would tend to be self qualifying but I can see that market pressures may be working against this. It must be difficult to fill some of the trainings that are on offer as the pool of trainers grows.”

Does a competitive market result in too much time being spent on highlighting the differences between offerings? It seems to be behind Michael Beale’s comments and Nick Kemp is also inclining that way. “If we think more about what you can do with NLP rather than arguing about the techniques in detail, maybe that could lead to a collusion of mindsets that could improve the standing of the NLP market. Most clients don’t mention NLP, they are interested in something that works – and it certainly does that. To me, it’s not about any particular way of doing things – it’s all about the end result and being able to take a delight in work that I’ve done.”

For Mandy Taylor, it is the missing pieces of the NLP market that intrigue her. There are no exams or case studies required as part of vetting for a professional qualification. “In programme management there is one certifying body and a set of professional standards to give confidence to anyone considering employing a programme manager. Where is the equivalent mechanism in NLP? These are powerful techniques, yet, it would seem, anyone can offer NLP with little to back them up”.

Jeremy Lazarus is very clear that professional regulation “will benefit everyone in the community. Having really good standards that

are clear to prospective students make it possible for trainers to position their courses in a known framework. I really believe that it will open up the market to a wider public understanding and that will grow the market for everyone”.

Managing Director of ANLP, Karen Moxom, supports that approach. “We don’t yet have a roadmap for the whole journey but we are putting in place elements, like CPD online, that we know will be needed and we are keen to identify and put in place the other elements – preferably as part of an industry-wide initiative”.

You may have further views on the qualifications of Practitioners, on the professional standards of the NLP community or about regulation. You can add your views to the debate online at http:// www.anlp.org/forum/default.asp or write to our letters page.

The Participants Mandy Taylor The Transistions Coach www.anlp.org/pracdetails.asp?PracID=10307 Nick Kemp NLP Trainer and Provocative Therapy Trainer (approved by Frank Farrelly) Tranceforming NLP www.tranceformingnlp.com/ Michael Beale NLP Trainer and Coach, PPI Business NLP www.ppimk.com/ Jeremy Lazarus NLP Trainer and Executive and Performance Coach The Lazarus Consultancy www.thelazarus.com/ Karen Moxom Managing Director ANLP International www.anlp.org

rapport - Winter 2007

| 7

COLUMN

Frogs Out of Boxes or, ‘What is NLP?’

by Caitlin Collins

N

LP: Neuro Linguistic Programming. Try repeating it slowly, like a mantra: Neuro Linguistic Programming... Neuro Linguistic Programming... Neuro Linguistic Ploglamming... Neulo Linglistic... you’re either asleep or in a trance by now.

So it’s a great soporific – but what does it mean?

If we disentangle the meaning from the jargon, it sort of makes sense. NLP is about becoming more aware of our thinking, talking and doing.

The ‘Neuro’ part refers to how we perceive ourselves, others, and our environment, not only in terms of our senses but in terms of how we understand and interpret what we’re taking in through our senses.

‘Linguistic’ refers to how we communicate with others via speech and other means of communication such as body language, and also with ourselves via inner mental chat.

‘Programming’ is about how we act, especially repetitive, habitual behaviour operating on auto-pilot.

By becoming more aware of these three aspects of our being we can gain insight into what’s going on and give ourselves more choice about how we live in our world.

NLP was developed in America in the 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder; the groundbreaking book ‘Frogs into Princes’ is a transcript of one of their early training courses. As a practical discipline it offers methods to help us change habitual ways of thinking, communicating and acting, so we can become more effective and therefore happier.

The insights and techniques of NLP can be widely applied not only in specific contexts such as personal, business and sports coaching, but in helping us to bring out the best in ourselves and others throughout daily life – and a really neat thing about it is that it’s entertaining, so we can enjoy the process as well as the result!

Time for a transition?

A

s a new member of ANLP I would like to say a big thank you for the resources contained within the membership pack, all very useful. I would also like to say, what more? What more can ANLP and NLP training companies do for new practitioners like myself ?

Enrolling on the NLP training course with Ralph Watson and Aspire2Change was the start of a very personal journey of transition for me. Whilst the training was underway the ‘why’ questions that I always seemed to have turned into ‘how’ questions. How could I use this toolkit to enhance the lives of those I interact with and from a practical perspective, how could I make enough money in doing so? Having had a extremely financially rewarding career as a corporate change consultant, how do I transition to the outcome I really want and achieve abundance in all aspects of my life?

So back to what more. I appreciate that not every qualified practitioner wants to move towards setting up a business centred around NLP, there does however seem to be a point that one reaches. Become a Master Practitioner? Well yes, already booked on the course and yes, it will greatly improve my understanding and toolkit. Become a coach practitioner, well yes, already booked on the course – even though I am a qualified coach. Book on the NLP trainer course, well maybe. Will these bring that abundance I so deserve?

Not directly. Still many more ‘how’ questions. How do I find clients, how do clients know that they need my service, how do I make money from my NLP toolkit? How do I ensure that I am operating ecologically and to a consistent standard, and still make money? Got it yet, NLP training companies?

It seems to me that the timing is right for another transition.

In asking what more can ANLP and NLP training companies do for people like me, maybe the question should be: What more can we do, as members of the ANLP and customers of the training companies, to take NLP to its next level of evolution? Any thoughts, Rapport readers?

Mandy Taylor ANLP NLP in Business Practitioner INLPTA Practitioner in NLP

‘Making Change Happen’ Win Innovation Award

T

he pioneering Making Change Happen team, have just won a major Innovation Award, for their ground breaking new performance support and change management toolset, My Performance Coach®.

They are winners in the category of ‘Most Innovative Application of Learning Technology’ in the 2007 e-learning Awards.

“This provides independent recognition, from seasoned industry ‘thought leaders’, who know the industry and market needs very well” says Nick Le Clère, of Making Change Happen.

Citations about My Performance Coach® from the Awards judging panel included: ‘Making Change Happen has set out to make e-learning that helps people change, by making them feel resourceful and getting them engaged in change.’

‘A variety of approaches are built into the application giving it flexibility. It is very practical and personal. The use of multiple media

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Winter 2007 - rapport

to change moods, increasing optimism, is truly innovative, giving a very positive user experience.’

‘This is a well thought out and well implemented application of appropriate technology in a learning area where little use has been made of technology to date’.

My Performance Coach® is a unique coaching application, which emulates the processes and methods of a top performance coach in performance, change management, well-being and leadership. It also works well within a coaching relationship. My Performance Coach® connects personal values, beliefs, identities and purpose with organisational goals by influencing the adoption of powerful mindsets and emotions that directly govern ‘high performance’ behaviours and results.

For more information on My Performance Coach® and how it adds value to individuals and organisations performance and improvement agendas, please contact nick@makingchangehappen.com

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Dharma Gaynes Combining NLP and energy work with wonderful results

After interviewing Dharma, I felt as serene and relaxed as I do after a good yoga class. The chilled, relaxed feeling lasted for a couple of days. Dharma’s combination of energy work with NLP that has created a unique aspect to INLPTA Trainer’s Training

by Eve Menezes Cunningham

D

harma uses her awareness of people’s energy fields to help them be more congruent. But like many people, she has worked hard for her wellbeing. Dharma remembers, “17 years ago, I actually was extremely ill for about five years. I found myself marching to death’s door. I had had defunct surgeries on my abdominal area. When that all got fixed, the doctors said ‘Your troubles are over, you’re fine. Go back to eating normally and enjoy your life.’ Six months later, I had same symptoms.”

This time, Dharma visited a holistic doctor but she says, the “healing work sounded like psychotherapy which I wasn’t going to go for. Finally went to see someone who said she could help me with NLP. It really turned my life around.”

Dharma has a private practice and also works with groups and teaches a lot. She uses NLP daily in her own life setting and resetting “outcomes, constantly reaccessing my resources and reframing things.”

She was introduced to INLPTA co-founder and modelling expert Wyatt Woodsmall when he was a Master Trainer and she was a Trainer’s Assistant. “I was really afraid of him. I thought that I’d never be able to say anything worthwhile. He seemed like he knew everything in the world about NLP. During our first opportunity to give an evaluation, I found myself completely blocked. Then I realised I’d been doodling on the page, drawing pictures of students’ energy patterns while they were training. I thought ‘If the energy is going to do something anyway, I might as well use it more consciously’. So I drew something to help them incorporate the learning. I got them to act as if they could try the new energy pattern on. I had amazing feedback. It was completely integrated and it was a quantum leap.

“Because your energy field is subtle, it changes completely with every thought we have. I have had a lot of different kinds of responses but don’t remember any incident where the person didn’t change. Whether or not they choose to keep the change, work with it and continue is up to them. I have been lucky enough to run across students much later down the road and I can’t tell you how many say they remember the picture

I’ve drawn for them. You never know what you’re going to say or do that’s going to affect someone’s life.”

As her self-confidence grew, Dharma’s fear of Wyatt disappeared.

She says he “really mentored me and pushed me. I finally got brave and created a course called The Energy of Communication. It has grown into a transformational and deeply spiritually connected course. People go away with a different sense of themselves in the world. Many people take it again and again because they keep getting something new from it.”

Dharma says she is “100% on board with Laws of Attraction. Even before the thing hit the press and made it’s way into the mainstream – which I think is awesome – I deeply understood that we create our reality. I started healing my health problems with NLP. One of my teachers kept drilling it into our heads that intent is everything.

After a year of hearing that I started believing it and working with it.”

Dharma explains, “We work with three levels of intent.

Conscious - want Unconscious - need Deeply held – manifest If what you consciously and unconsciously think is deeply aligned, every door is opened. The deepest level of intent is something that you are not aware, of but that you know like you know your face in the mirror. When your wants and needs fulfil that desire, there is a sensory wide acknowledgement that is close to impossible to deny.”

Dharma talks about the way, sometimes, we keep going. She says that this is down to having a “whole set of sensory acknowledgement – we know. We may be scared to death or shaking in our boots but we do it anyway. Commitment is seeing something through, all the way through, long after the mood in which it was committed to has passed. One of the things that makes this deepest level of intent obvious to me is to look at the things that come naturally. When you look at your diary, look at all the things that came absolutely naturally. Where nothing stood in the way. Even if distractions came up, you still did what you had to do. Our hopes, wants and desires are that congruent.

Every single thought we have that is not towards what we want holds us back

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Winter 2007 - rapport

NLP

“If I need a new car, I want a new car and it’s time for a new car, then in a short time I’ve got a good car. Every time you lose your focus and good feeling you weaken your intent.” Dharma compares it to the certainty of seeing a dentist appointment scheduled into you diary. “When you see your gym session scheduled in, it’s somehow not so firm. You’ll probably make it but it’s not for sure.”

When you think about that car, or whatever your goal is, how do you feel about it? I can’t help thinking of Mike Myers in the film Wayne’s World. Things seemed pretty hopeless for him but he knew what he wanted. Every time he drove past his dream guitar, he’d stop, get out and see the instrument surrounded by bright light. I think he also heard a chorus of angels. He 100% believed that he’d find a way to get the guitar. And all his jokes were forgotten when he stated, “Oh yes, it will be mine”. Yes, the film is fictional but we can all recognise his certainty.

As you think about your own goals and dreams, if doubt creeps in, it’s harder to associate into what you want. So, with the car, you may think you can’t afford it. Or maybe you worry about adding to global

pollution. Dharma say, “Every time that doubt crops up it makes it further away. When we’re in the Law of Attraction, we’re not allowed to think about how long it will take or how much it costs. You never think about the cost of the dentist’s root canal even though it could cost you a whack of money that you don’t have.

“Every single thought we have that is not towards what we want holds us back. Push through to get back to that amazing feeling. It all boils down to that internal check.

Some people get a voice in their head, others get it in their body.

There’s an internal frame of reference that each one of us understand as ‘Yes’. Even though we hate going to the dentist, there are very few things that will keep us from keeping those appointments.”

Dharma says we need to accept at this deep level. That we need to believe we deserve what we want whether it’s a training or a new car or house. She says, “When we know that we know, we just move forward as if it were going to happen. Christmas happens every year.

The whole world, even the non-Christian world accepts that it will happen on 25th December.”

Dharma’s advice for pushing through doubt and negativity I asked Dharma how people can counter the heavy focus on what we don’t want without our own doubts about world peace, an end to violence against women, poverty, the environment and so on pushing this goal further and further away.

Dharma said, “Whatever higher power you subscribe to – God, Allah, the Universe – it is probably the fastest way to release ourselves and just forgive. Use that higher power to forgive.”

She told me about a process she learned 15 years ago. It comes from the Hawaiian Ho-o-ponopono. Dharma says, “it’s probably one of the most powerful forgiveness techniques I’ve ever come across: I love you Please forgive me I’m sorry Thank you This is said to the Universe, not anyone specifically.”

So if you have any kind of unpleasant thought or interaction, you don’t have to talk directly to the person you’re upset with. Dharma says, “If I start repeating these statements, in whatever order, to the Universe, somehow, my state changes. My body relaxes.

I’m not putting any energy into my conflict. It’s less and less important. I’m able to be with the person without judgement. It’s a whole fresh start. It’s beautiful, elegant, sweet and powerful.”

She told me about a meeting where 25 people held hands and repeated the four statements 15 times. By their next meeting, Dharma says, “every single one of us had stories about how people they hadn’t spoken to for years wanted to make amends or pay off debts.”

rapport - Winter 2007

| 11

REVIEW

THE PRESUPPOSITIONS OF NLP The Map is not the Territory by Caitlin Collins

T

he NLP presuppositions are tools to help us transcend the boundaries of our limiting beliefs about ourselves and our world.

The point is not to believe or disbelieve any presupposition, but rather to consider what might be the implications of acting ‘as if ’ you believed it and imagine what differences that could make to your life now and in the future. In this column I’ll be offering personal reflections on the presuppositions I find especially interesting.

‘Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly’ is not an NLP presupposition; it’s a saying greatly enjoyed by New Age enthusiasts.

But it’s particularly apt in the context of this issue’s presupposition: ‘the map is not the territory’.

As a literal statement this is simply an obvious fact – but as a metaphor it’s worldshattering. What we perceive and try to relate to as ‘out there’ is not what is really ‘out there’. We’re all creating the appearances of different worlds. We’re creating different maps.

We’re creating our experience of the world

out of representations based on our sensory perceptions, understood and interpreted in accordance with our conditioning. That conditioning is both collective, as a human being rather than, say, an insect, and also individual, as you yourself, with your own personal history, sensitivity to circumstances, emotional attitudes and changing moods.

Reflect for a moment on how the world appears when you’re happy – or, even better, in love. It’s a golden, glorious place, full of delightful people! But when you’re depressed it becomes grey and black and dreary, a place of woe. Is one right, the other wrong?

Imagine you could swap places with a fly.

You’d look at your world through compound eyes. What would you see? How would you make sense of what you saw? As a fly, you’d perceive a world very different from that of a human. Whose view is the ‘right one’? Is there a ‘right one’? Is there a real world out there, existing from its own side, separate from the creative processes of beings?

We’re heading into the realms of philosophy

and meditation here, and masters such as Wittgenstein and, predating him by 1800 years, Nagarjuna.

Let’s return to the present day: what differences could it make to your life if you were to act ‘as if ’ you believed that the world is not, from its own side, as you perceive it? And if you recognised that other people are experiencing and acting in accordance with their own worlds, different from yours?

Opening up to the possibility that our worlds are arising moment-by-moment in dependence upon many factors, and that our experiences are largely our creation, could enhance not only our wisdom but also our compassion for ourselves and for others. We could become truly open to change – in behaviour, in understanding, in circumstances, in growth.

Such openness could bring a playful lightness of being to our lives. Those angels can fly because they take their worlds lightly!

Caitlin Collins can be contacted at www.naturalmindmagic.com, 0845 456 1182, cait@globalnet.co.uk

NLP Dorset Forum

by Andy Coote

O

ver 90 enthusiastic people with a wide range of experience levels in NLP turned out for the NLP Dorset Forum ‘Sea of Change’ Conference on a perfect summer Saturday in August, despite the rival attractions of the perfect blue sea visible from the conference room.

Brian Morton and John Chisholm hosted a wide-ranging programme with a strong emphasis on the use of NLP in public services to make a practical difference to peoples’ lives.

The Flaghead Unit in Christchurch, Dorset use ‘The Journey’ with clients recovering from addiction “to empower them to have opportunities and choices”. Whilst NLP is used throughout the client’s treatment, the Journey is used when the addiction is under control. The client works through a series of key words, first as themselves and then as their own neutral observer. There are three stages - past, present and future – each with its own carefully selected set of words.

Poole Quay Foyer works with homeless young people and those in housing need. Their clients are often “living with a degree of chaos or instability in their life”. Their Model of Change which is underpinned by NLP, approaches change by first loosening and then changing an element of the client’s world view and future pacing the changes back into the new world view.

For a GP, there are two ways to reach a diagnosis according to Dr Nigel Cowley - doctor led or patient led. Experience shows that patient led is about a minute quicker in most cases! As a GP and an NLP

12 |

Winter 2007 - rapport

Practitioner, Dr Cowley uses his NLP skills to aid diagnosis by active listening and to understand the patient’s needs by asking them what they want from him. His guide to ‘Getting the Most from your GP’ was invaluable insider information.

Brian Morton described the set up and development of an Emotional Wellbeing Group within the Mental Health Team of a PCT. Group sessions are based around NLP, Mindfulness (Jon Kabot Zin and Marsha Lineham) and Non Violent Communication (Marshall B Rosenborg).

Jo Dance and Alastair Gibson pointed out that using both Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and NLP extends the possibilities for therapists when looking for ways to work productively with their clients and Bournemouth College demonstrated how they use Walt Disney’s Strategy, as modeled by Robert Dilts, to aid creativity in their students.

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PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

Thought Pattern ™ Management Instructing the mind to make neurological changes

by Caitlin Collins

I

’m a great fan of the Red Queen in Alice’s Wonderland, who made a practice of believing six impossible things before breakfast; it opens all sorts of fascinating avenues and makes life much more interesting! But I’ll admit my scepticism piped up when I heard of the following extraordinary claim: apparently a chap in America has come up with a method of teaching the unconscious mind to heal a whole range of physical as well as psychological traumas – even, in one case, healing an abnormally developing foetus through the unconscious mind of the mother.

I heard this astonishing anecdote from Jenny Lewis, whose company Aspire2Change is the only one this side of the Atlantic licensed to run Robert Fletcher’s Thought Pattern Management™ training courses.

Jenny describes Thought Pattern Management™ (TPM) as ‘a powerful technique to educate, communicate and bring about changes within the mind and the body. It can reprogram the way memories are stored in the data files – a bit like defragging your PC – and profoundly benefit people with mental, emotional and physical traumas and illnesses.’

Drawing on NLP and hypnotherapy, TPM has been developed over 30 years by Utah-based Robert Fletcher. He explains that the method brings about changes at the unconscious level of the mind – ‘the level that runs the body, stores memory, and manages the body chemistry; it’s analogous to the hard drive and mother board of the computer.’

Robert’s personal presupposition is that ‘the mind will do whatever we ask of it, if we make our requests logical and reasonable and fit them within the person’s map of what ought to be possible.’

The Engineer Model Robert has developed what he calls the Engineer Model to help the unconscious mind to heal the body. Using the NLP metaphorical concept of functional parts of the mind, the model enables the therapist to communicate creatively with the unconscious mind to prompt it to repair physiological damage; the repairs can occur extremely quickly, often in just one session. The Engineer Model has been used with great success for people in comas and with brain injuries.

Case Histories There’s compelling evidence for the effectiveness of the method. In

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Winter 2007 - rapport

one instance, Robert worked with a young man who had been injured in a motorbike accident. Following the accident, he was in a coma for a week. Three months later, when Robert was called in, the boy’s speech was halting, and he was unable to respond at all when asked about the accident. He had regained some movement on the right side of his body, but the left side remained largely paralysed; he could move the fingers of his left hand only a fraction, with great effort and much concentration.

Robert lifted the young man’s right forearm and asked the Head Electrician to repair the damaged connections to the left side of his body.

It took about 30 minutes for the right arm to lower, during which time the movement was fully restored to the left side of his body, including the leg, arm, hand and fingers.

Another case involved a middle-aged man who was scheduled for open-heart surgery in just two days’ time. Robert used a wide-awake guided imagery trance in which he asked the Heart Engineer to review the genetic map of the heart, run a comparative analysis on the current state of the heart and heart region, and repair the differences so the man could continue his life’s work. Doctors viewing the patient’s pre-op X-rays two days later noticed positive changes to the heart since their earlier examination. They decided to postpone the surgery while waiting to see what would happen. Over the next three weeks, the man’s heart continued improving; it went on to become completely normal.

Jenny Lewis uses TPM processes for clients with emotional blocks arising from traumatic memories. She describes how clients have been able to heal negative memories, extracting the positive learnings from the memories and transforming the negative emotions into positive energy.

One such client who had experienced childhood abuse was unable to form lasting attachments and had little faith in himself; he was also a pathological liar who suffered extreme anxiety about being caught out.

He wanted to change these behaviours to become more congruent with his own strong moral code, and he wanted immediate evidence of the change. ‘I worked with this client twice,’ Jenny recounts; ‘Once to run an NLP circle of excellence exercise as a convincer of the possibility of change, and once to run the TPM comprehensive memory cleanup and realignment processes. On the baseline assessment test this client scored very high for traumatic memories; after we’d done the work he repeated the assessment test and was amazed that the scores had been reduced to

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

rapport - Winter 2007

| 15

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

The mind will do whatever we ask of it if we make our requests logical and reasonable and fit them within the person’s map of what ought to be possible negligible. This was the immediate evidence he wanted – and the two score sheets also further reinforced the change by acting like an NLP swish pattern.’

Expanding Parameters These accounts are perhaps not so astonishing for those who have some experience of the powers of the deep levels of the mind, but mainstream medicine, to a large extent still wedded to surgery and drugs, remains slow to embrace the possibilities of ‘alternative’ methods. I’m reminded of an occasion 25 years ago, when I was training in acupuncture. An old Chinese man was carried into our London clinic, semi-conscious, severely paralysed and totally unable to speak following a recent stroke. Half an hour after the needles went in, he sat up, fully alert, and said, ‘Thanks very much’ (I think; it was in Chinese. It might have been, ‘Ouch, get these damn needles out of me!’). Then he walked out of the clinic under his own steam. It was like the raising of Lazarus. But still the main treatment for strokes in our hospitals remains physiotherapy.

There’s a lot of work yet to be done in expanding the parameters of what’s possible – or permissible, given the prevailing scientific and pharmaceutical company politics – in the medical field. NLP and other mind / energy methods have so much to offer the world. And while we may not really want to emulate the Red Queen’s uncritical willingness to believe the impossible, a willingness to suspend the limiting beliefs that hold us back from genuine investigation and exploration is surely essential for any advancement.

Robert Fletcher will be in the UK in 2008 to offer TPM trainings at basic and advanced levels.

Contact Jenny Lewis: 029 2086 2647, info@ aspire2change.com www.aspire2change.com

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Winter 2007 - rapport

The Engineer Model in action Begin by gaining rapport at the conscious and unconscious levels. If the person is in a coma, treat the coma as a deep trance state and establish ideo-motor signals for yes and no.

Establish the lead-and-follow pattern as follows: ‘Close your eyes. Imagine in your mind that you are standing in front of a chalk board. Please do each of the following tasks and nod your head when you are done so that I will know you are ready for the next task. Draw a large circle on the board. Inside the circle, draw a square. Inside the square, draw a triangle. Inside the triangle draw an X. Now erase the X. Now erase the triangle. Now erase the square. Now erase the circle and clear your mind.’

Set up a repair-process driver or task-master. If you use a cataleptic arm for this purpose, ask permission: ‘May I borrow your arm?’ Then lift the forearm upright, allowing the elbow to rest on something. Say, ‘And I’m going to ask your unconscious mind to take charge of your hand and allow it to lower only as quickly as your unconscious mind locates the part of the mind responsible for the electrical and chemical functions of the mind.’

Set up the presupposition that there’s a genetic record that contains a blueprint of neurology from birth up to the present time. Then ask: ‘May I speak to the Head Electrician and the Head Chemist please?’ Wait five seconds and continue: ‘And I’m going to ask the Head Electrician and the Head Chemist to first review the genetic blueprint of the area of damage before the damage took place, and again at the present moment in time, and then to do a comparison of the before-accident and after-accident neurology looking for differences. Ask your unconscious mind to signal you with a Yes signal when this analysis is completed.

Instruct the Head Electrician and the Head Chemist to reconnect all the cell connections which were pulled apart by the force of the accident. Ask the Head Janitor (or Head of Maintenance) to activate the lymphatic system to clean out all the dead cells, old blood and debris, and then to sanitize the damaged area so that the new repairs will hold. Ask the Immune System Manager to protect this area while the cells and neurological pathways gets repaired and re-established.

Using a cataleptic arm again, say: ‘And I’m going to ask your unconscious mind to take charge of your hand and allow it to lower only as quickly as the Head Electrician reconnects up all the cell connections which were pulled apart by the force of the accident and returns the neurological wiring to its former undamaged state. And we’re going to give permission to the Head Electrician to pull in any assistance necessary in order to do this repair work quickly, safely and correctly for the benefit of (the person). You may begin the repairs now.’

Stop talking and start watching. Watch the hand specifically for minute ideo-motor movements. As the movements begin and the arm begins its downward movement, pace the movement by saying ‘That’s right.’ The arm may take from 2 minutes to one hour to lower; be patient and stay with the process.

If the arm stops in its downward motion for more than one minute ask: ‘Does the unconscious mind or any of its controller parts need additional resources? If the answer is Yes, cause the arm to lift a little, if No, cause the hand to continue the process of repair.’ If the arm lifts, say: ‘I would like the controllers of this repair process to contact the Creative Mind and have the Creative Mind create whatever special tools, materials, connectors or whatever is needed for the Head Electrician and the Head Chemist to continue and complete their work of repairing the damaged brain circuitry.’

Finally, test the new circuitry.

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EDUCATION

OUR MISSION OUR MISSION • To inspire and empower all staff to put learners first • To inspire and empow staff to put learners fi OUR BELIEFS

AGENTS OF CHANGE

• We are the best • We believe in people • We believe in ourselves and each other

OUR BELIEFS are the best • We believe in peop • We believe in ours and each other

NLP training at Newham College Geoff Crook talks with Caitlin Collins • We

I

t’s a tradition: the oldies have been complaining about the younger generation at least since Roman times. Nowadays newspapers of all political shades know that lurid depictions of the delinquency of the younger element, preferably illustrated by CCTV photos of sinister-looking hoodies, sell papers. Impressionable readers could be forgiven for believing that the streets of Britain’s cities are as hazardous as the frontier towns of the Wild West.

Geoff Crook is keen not only to challenge this popular misperception of our youngsters, but also to do his part in helping young people to channel their energies in constructive ways. As Executive Director of the Business, Health and Cultural Studies faculty of Newham College of Further Education in North-East London, and with a background in sociology, social psychology and philosophy, he’s well-placed to make a difference.

‘People say that the Universe exists in Newham,’ says Geoff; ‘Something like 72 different languages are spoken in the community.’ The college is huge, with 15,000 adult students, of whom 4,500 are aged 16 – 18. Geoff has a management team of ten people in his faculty and has been using NLP based training to increase their effectiveness, with excellent results.

‘We could do any amount of conventional briefings and reports, but with limited benefits in terms of improving personal effectiveness,’ Geoff explains. ‘We’re fortunate in that Newham College has a proven track record of taking innovative

18 |

Winter 2007 - rapport

approaches and actively encourages new ideas.

Also, since we have six terms a year, each of six weeks followed by a seventh week set aside for learning-review and assessment, we can get the whole team to be present for regular training sessions in those assessment weeks. We brought in Ralph Watson of Dynamic Communication to take us through a customised management training program based on NLP principles.

Our key issue was to identify what each person needed to be doing to enable not only himself or herself, but also the other team-members, to work most effectively – and then train them in the skills and resources they needed to do that.’

A Management Manifesto As part of their training, the team began exploring their values and beliefs and out of these exercises a manifesto evolved.

‘We literally nailed it to the wall!’ says Geoff. ‘The manifesto sets out our mission, identity, values, beliefs, qualities, and behaviour. It’s a public declaration, a way to make ourselves accountable and a means of measuring our performance.

But while the manifesto is a useful statement of our intentions, the real outcomes of the training are apparent in the increased effectiveness of every member of our team.’

Measuring the Changes Geoff cites examples of measurable improvements. ‘Performance reviews can be tough for people,’ he explains. ‘And their feeling under pressure can lead to their not being upfront. We’ve noticed that since the training people are better able to acknowledge where they’ve been experiencing difficulties. It’s become safer for people to share their concerns or to raise disagreements, and we’ve all become much better at giving constructive feedback. We’ve become more solution-focused.

A blame culture is useless – it just drives people into fear and anxiety, which of course reduces their

EDUCATION

OUR QUALITIES OUR VALUES • Tenacity OUR VALUES • Intelligence • Equity – fairness to staff and students • Equity – fairness to staff and students wer all• Professionalism – high standards • Focus • Professionalism • Integrity – trustworthy • Professionalism – high standards • Dedication • Transformation – agents of change first • Integrity working • Determination – no – compromise trustworthy• Hard • Supportive • Knowledgeable • Transformation – agents of change • Adaptable and versatile OUR BEHAVIOUR • Approachable We will: • Determination – no compromise • Innovative • Respect others • Act with integrity • Put learners first • Challenge poor standards • Support others / each other • Take responsibility • Learn from mistakes • Self-evaluate performance regularly

ple selves

• Successful

OUR IDENTITY • A dedicated, decis and dynamic team OUR IDENTITY • A dedicated, decisive and dynamic team

effectiveness.’

Describing how the team are encouraged to get about and talk with staff and students, Geoff mentions how several individuals have become more selfsufficient and better able to take care of issues such as staff absenteeism; as they’ve gained the skills and resources they needed, so their confidence in their ability to manage has grown.

Follow-up and future Due to the success of the NLP training program, Newham College are continuing with the training. ‘We’re about to start a follow-up series, and the Human Resources people, having seen how well our team are doing, are going to take part too,‘ says Geoff. ‘We’re also looking for opportunities to offer NLP training to the staff, but rather than offering a formal program we’re planning to integrate it with our regular meetings. We’re also taking NLP-based programs out to the students: Mark Walcott, of Mind and Body Consultants, has been offering courses in ‘Power Thinking’ for 16 – 18 year olds and we’ll be extending this next year.’

Geoff, Ralph and Mark have further plans for the future. Newham is one of five Olympic boroughs so there’s a lot of regeneration and development going on, and, as Geoff puts it: ‘Regeneration is not just about buildings – it’s about people. We’re hoping to start offering community-based programs for young people, youth workers, and the voluntary sector, in line with current Government agendas on enhancing respect and citizenship in the community.’

That really is the key thing: taking the benefits out, via the students in the classroom, into their lives, and on into the

wider community. ‘We’re already doing this by raising the aspirations of young people. We can help them to improve their confidence and their employability. We’ve been getting some great guest speakers in, such as from the banking world and also the music industry – we’ve had some international stars speaking here. They’re great role models, and not just in terms of inspiration but also in offering practical advice about what you have to do to work for success.’

As Geoff says: ‘There are other knock-on effects of changing people’s lives, for example their friends are now wanting to come to Newham College too! Contrary to what the popular media would have us believe, most youngsters are not hoodies!

Young people want to do well, they want to get good jobs, have good family lives. If we can help them to develop their own integrity and the determination to find ways to realise their aspirations, then we’re making a difference.’

Geoff Crook can be contacted on geoff.crook@newham.ac.uk

rapport - Winter 2007

| 19

INTERNATIONAL

ANLP accredited Practitioner training in India

by Dee Clayton

A

s I got off the plane at Mumbai, I was relieved to see a friendly face in amongst the shouting sea of faces; I’d only met David Lincoln a few months earlier at the NLP by the Sea conference. It was there, (and also in Rapport) that he asked for volunteers to help with the first ever ANLP accredited Practitioner training in India.

The programme was being run by Peak Performance, and that, along with the recommendation from others to “go with the flow” in India, was about all I knew before I arrived. Once we survived the journey to the hotel (no mean feat) we met the inspirational Master Trainer Terri Ann Laws. Several cups of tea later, the man described by many as the Anthony Robbins of India, the founder of Peak Performance Arfeen Kahn joined us; rarely have I seen such a natural rapport builder! It became easy to see why he had managed to attract 50 people to his very 1st NLP course!

Day 1 as Arfeen pumped up the volume on the PA & everyone who wanted to was jumping and dancing about on stage, I knew this was going to be different and inspiring.

The participants were so welcoming, and from such diverse backgrounds – different languages, religions, beliefs and such differing models of the world. So when they suggested that I do some of the training as well as assisting, I jumped at the chance!

The participants thus benefitted from 4 trainers on their course with differing styles and views – quite unheard of for a Practitioners course I was told!

The participants were amazed and awestruck with the power of NLP, and I was impressed by such a thirst for knowledge in the room. I witnessed these people who are leaders in their field, transform and drop any limitations right in front of my very eyes, I was moved by their passion and progress – if this is what the future of NLP looks like in India, then I am delighted and proud to have been given this opportunity to play a small part in it.

One of the participants brought in Saris for Terri Anne and I to wear on the final day – talk about building

The participants were amazed and awestruck with the power of NLP

20 |

Winter 2007 - rapport

rapport, they loved it! What a memorable end to a brilliant experience in India.

Dee Clayton can be contacted on deesayshi2005@yahoo.co.uk If you are interested in being a coaching assistant on future courses David Lincoln can be contacted on psychologist@therapist.net

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CELEBRITY

Nina Barough the Walk the Walk founder talks about helping people every step of the way

by Eve Menezes Cunningham

S

o far, Walk the Walk has raised over £32million for breast cancer causes.

Its founder and Chief Executive, Nina Barough, set up and runs Walk the Walk Worldwide. This grant making health charity organises the Playtex MoonWalk, Edinburgh MoonWalk and Bristol SunWalk. Walk the Walk Worldwide mobilises teams of women across the world to power walk marathons in their bras.

And it was this image of hundreds of women walking marathons in their bras that inspired Nina in the first place. She says, “I woke up one morning and visualised the whole thing – with bras and fundraising and power walking – so it was the whole package. The idea of going to New York for the weekend and the fun aspect was appealing. I didn’t know anyone with breast cancer at the time.

“When I had the idea, I knew it was a good idea to do it for breast cancer but if I’m honest, the charity part was a bonus. My original reason was the personal challenge of doing a marathon and going to New York.” So Nina started asking people, “‘Do you want to go to New York for the weekend?’ Lots of people said ‘Yes’. And I said ‘You do have to walk the New York Marathon. In your bra.’

“Having women in bras with the association of women having mastectomies was controversial but we’ve moved on a long way.

As individuals, a lot of women get worried that they’re going to be outside in a bra but there’s a huge amount of admiration when they do it.

And the controversy made us stand out. No one had thought of it before.”

But it wasn’t an instant success. Nina remembers feeling that by August 1996, nothing was happening. “I remember talking to a friend of mine about it. I didn’t know anyone with breast cancer, I’d never done any fund

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raising and I remember thinking it was a 50-50 decision. But I decided I would do it. I had a styling and production company and I’d been asking everyone I worked with – makeup artists,

was an easy number to handle. The first couple of years we had walks, there were 13 in New York and 25 at the London Marathon.

“We did the New York Marathon in November and in January I found my own cancer. If I hadn’t been doing all the awareness work, I wouldn’t have known. I had two lots of surgery in January and April but was out walking within weeks. I think the body heals a lot quicker than the mind. For everything to feel strong again physically took about a year.

But emotionally it took a lot longer.”

When Nina looks back over the charity’s growth from her idea into a worldwide

It was a really mad idea and people laughed at it models, graphic designers – ‘Do you want to join this team?’

“Everything fell into place. It was the right time of the year to get places in the marathon.

I ended up with 13 people. I’d visualised hundreds of people so was a little miffed that it was only thirteen. But it was good because it

CELEBRITY

movement, she says, “I’m really glad I didn’t know any more than I did. The magic of Walk the Walk is that it’s unfolding like a flower. Every year I think we’ll have a plateau but then we have a quantum leap.

“Its strength is that so many people are behind it. Yes, we have the corporate sponsors but it’s also down to the individual walkers supporting it.

It’s been a little like being on a magic carpet. I never could have imagined sitting on top of a multi million pound charity. Running a charity wasn’t on my list of ten of things to do but I appreciate every moment.”

And she’s had many high points to celebrate. Nina remembers, “Doing the first walk, presenting the first cheque, having a pathology lab named after us, having a building named after us, raising the first £25,000, then the first million and then beyond.” She takes a breath before continuing, “Prince Charles becoming a patron, going to Highgrove in 2001 before he was a patron but him being very supportive, getting letters from individuals… I’m really fortunate that I work in a job that supports

my mind, body and spirit.”

Nina has high hopes for the future of Walk the Walk. She says, “We’re busy taking the MoonWalk to other countries. It’s a huge step. A quantum leap for us. And we’re taking SunWalks to other cities. Every year, we want to raise more money than before.”

When I spoke to Nina in early September she said, “This year, we’ve raised £6million already so it’s been fantastic. Every charity hopes it’s going to do itself out of a job. It would be great to find a cure for breast cancer but I don’t think it’s going to happen immediately so we want to raise as much money as we can.

“We’re making a huge impact on cancer patients going through their treatments. And we’re really encouraging people to look at their lifestyle. As well as checking your breasts, look at what you’re eating. Are you exercising?

Is your lifestyle supporting you? Even if just a few people sit up and think, it’s worth it.”

Nina’s enthusiasm is infectious. Her advice to everyone is to “Always go for it. It was a really mad idea and people laughed at it. But if you have a good idea, do it. You don’t have to be as rash as giving up your day job but

Nothing happens by accident, everyday we’re presented with opportunities that are there for us to take up or not take up

there are always ways of looking into it and playing around with it. I believe that if things are meant to happen, they do. And it’s always better to think a year later that something didn’t work out instead of never trying.

“I doubt I’d be talking to you now if I hadn’t had this dream to start this charity. An idea can completely change your direction or path. But by nature, we get quite comfortable so it can take quite a thing to move us into a different path. I had to give up my business because of my cancer. Nothing happens by accident, everyday we’re presented with opportunities that are there for us to take up or not take up.”

If you’d like to get involved, Nina says, “Give us a call or go onto our website and have a look at the list of events. If you’ve never done anything like it before, remember we always power walk. They’re not races. Be there and do your best. The empowerment can be fantastic.

When you cross the finish line – no matter what the distance – it’s great. We help people every step of the way.”

Nina believes that it’s the blend of fun with the good cause that has created “the winning combination of Walk the Walk. Lots of people who’ve had cancer or who have cancer join us but thousands of people who haven’t had cancer but want to get fit also take part.”

For more information on Walk the Walk and how to get involved in their fundraising events, please visit www.walkthewalk.org

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| 23

RESEARCH

Presupposing Excellence – Supervisory Dilemmas for Coaching and Therapy In considering the many definitions of NLP and taking into account the historical development of this methodology, some might question whether there is a place for supervision of NLP based training, therapy or coaching work

A

fter all, if we accept the presuppositions of Every behaviour has a positive intention; There is no failure only feedback; Everyone has all the resources they need; and, The map is not the territory, then the role of supervision and professional accountability for work in the NLP field is inevitably redundant. The other side of the equation may lean more towards the presupposition that One cannot not influence and Watzlawick’s observation, “it is then possible to develop therapies that drip with pseudosincerity and whose common denominator is the contention that they are free from manipulation... One cannot not influence.

It is, therefore, absurd to ask how influence and manipulation can be avoided, and we are left with the inescapable responsibility of deciding for ourselves how this basic law of human communication may be obeyed in the most humane, ethical and effective manner.”

In this article I intend to consider both sides of this equation, with the aim of respecting the maps that exist within the fields of coaching and therapy. I have chosen to look at these opposites through the some of the NLP Presuppositions and present some thoughts for consideration as well as raise some questions for ethical and effective practice as an NLP therapist, trainer or coach. Where I use the

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term supervisee, I refer to therapists, coaches and trainers.

The ‘map’ is not the ‘territory’ – people respond according to their internal maps One of the definitions of NLP that supports this presupposition is ‘The Study of Subjective Experience’.

There is sometimes the temptation to think that we are the person doing the study and therefore our map is less subjective. We know what our filters are, we have done our NLP which makes us a master of our own communication, risking a process of ignoring our blind spots. Effective and ethical practice considers the subjective nature of experience and acknowledges that there are at least two maps that are present in any one to one interaction. We will inevitably be influenced by our subjective experience of the client’s story. In many instances this is unlikely to be a problem, yet how many of us know of individuals who have been ‘NLP’d’, having had a negative experience of somebody ‘doing’ the process of NLP to them?

Supervision of client work can aid an understanding of how our maps can occasionally get in the way of effective client work. The supervisory process can aid a third position on the work of the supervisee through the supervisee gaining more ‘knowing’ about their own internal landscapes. This opens up the possibility to change our map and behavioural response as the supervision brings to consciousness aspects of the territory that may have been influencing respective maps.

Every behaviour has a positive intention I have heard some individuals within the field of NLP challenge the view that supervision is unnecessary. If every behaviour has a positive

intention then is it possible to cause harm to our clients? Supervision may also be seen by some as a policing process, who are you to tell me what I can and can’t do with my clients? I have personally been berated by some in the NLP field for using ‘should’s’ and ‘needs’ when I have referred to safe practice for coaches, being challenged for making an assumption that it is possible to do harm including flouting laws that exist for public protection.

If we accept the presupposition that every behaviour does have a positive intention, then any effective supervisory relationship will also operate from within this philosophy.

An effective supervisor will facilitate a supervisee to recognise where behaviours are less than useful through a process of reframing, seeking the positive intention and providing alternative choices. For example, a supervisee may be overly cautious about taking risks in therapy/coaching/training and the role of the supervisor becomes one of reframing this strategy as one of developing effective internal calibration processes while at the same time balancing this with developmental support to assist the supervisee to self reference sufficient examples of effective risk taking to enable an internal frame of reference for risk taking in the future.

RESEARCH

All meaning is context dependent.

All meaning is subjective and requires to be understood in the context of where and how the behaviour occurred. Meaning is often determined by considering the nonverbal communication of a client, and it is difficult to replicate this in the context of supervision. Some supervisors might request that supervisees present audiorecordings of their work in supervision, which raises questions concerning confidentiality of material discussed, data protection and ownership of the audio recordings. It is only on rare occasions that I suggest this for supervisees, and in most instances rely on state dependent recall for the supervisee. The outcome oriented and proactive stance of NLP does not naturally lend itself to the reflective process of supervision. It is therefore important that the supervisor develops sufficient flexibility in strategy elicitation and the ability to slow down the internal process recall of the supervisee to such an extent that they can elicit the key steps and stages of the interactions between supervisee and client.

This literal modelling out of the interaction becomes an essential component of understanding the contextually dependent meaning of NLP work enabling an accurate representation of the session to be replayed in supervision. The role of the supervisor in this context becomes one of considering the contextual meaning of material as it is presented and enabling the supervisee to identify the relationship of the material, whether this is emanating from the client, from the supervisee or from the interaction between them through transference and countertransference.

There is no failure only feedback Effective supervisory relationships are based on openness, honesty and trust, enabling a review of the supervisee’s own learning and development in a safe and progressive relationship. The supervisor’s role is to support and enable the supervisee, and to avoid sitting in judgement of the right or wrong way to do things. In my experience it is often easier to act as supervisor for supervisees who work from an alternative mindset and skill base to my own, which enables me to facilitate the relationship and learning of the supervisee without my own map getting in the way. Where there is greater understanding of the work of the supervisee, the role of the supervisor is to assist the supervisee to gain insight and learn from their own process, rather than this be driven by the supervisor. The supervisor’s role is to set the frame of feedback and reinforce the positives in a supervisee rather than dwell on failures that have happened. At the same time it is important to have a trusting relationship whereby the supervisee feels sufficiently supported such that they can present ‘failures’ or ‘errors’ in their work to enable them to be reviewed constructively so that lessons can be learnt and applied to future practice.

People have the internal resources they need to succeed NLP presupposes that the client, supervisee and supervisor will all have the internal resources that they need to succeed. Dilts neurological levels provides a useful framework for working in supervision, enabling both the supervisee and the supervisor to elicit and bring into play the resources that are held within the supervisee and also the relationship with the client. A supervisee may feel continually challenged with overwhelm regarding their role and may result in them feeling helpless in assisting others to change. The role of the supervisor in this instance is to work with the supervisee in enabling them to see where they can make a difference, which in the early stages of the supervisory relationship will be about enabling them to focus on smaller aspects of their work that are successful before moving on to focussing on the feelings of overwhelm.

Conclusions NLP as a model of performance excellence naturally lends itself to a mutually cooperative relationship in supervision. It works from the principle that everyone has the resources to succeed and it is the role of the supervisor to facilitate utilisation of these resources. Because NLP is based in modelling, the supervisee can

be facilitated to model their own practice and utilise what they are doing well. Additionally, the process of modelling can be utilised by the supervisor to teach the supervisee certain aspects of their own successful work. Effective supervision may include the use of audio recordings of work with clients, to enable a mutual process of reflection that is sometimes difficult to consider when the only process that the supervisor can work with is the supervisee’s recall of the session.

There are some limitations in NLP as a model for supervision in that it tends to operate at a structural level rather than content, and some supervisees may well attend supervision having a good structural representation of what is occurring in their work, but may not so easily recall the content of dialogue. NLP recognises the process of projection within coaching and therapy work, and yet does not have a process of eliciting, understanding or influencing the countertransferential process within the supervisee, risking Watzlawick’s anxiety of potential manipulation. The NLP community would enhance its ethical standing through a greater emphasis on supervision as a way of assisting safe and accountable practice.

I have suggested within this article that supervision encompasses the role of trainer as well as the NLP therapist and coach. Anyone interested in developing peer vision processes for their training practice are welcome to contact ANLP, who would encourage the development of peer review as best practice.

Lisa Wake is a UKCP Registered Neurolinguistic Psychotherapist and author of Neurolinguistic Psychotherapy – A Postmodern Perspective.

Routledge isbn: 978-0415425414 (Publication date March 2008). For further information on Lisa’s Certificated Supervision Programmes visit www. awakenconsulting.co.uk, or www.hypnotherapytraining.co.uk.

References & Bibliography Carroll, M. & Tholstrup, M. (2001) Integrative approaches to supervision London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers O’Connor, J. (2001) NLP Workbook London: Harper Collins McDermott, I. & Jago, W. (2001) Brief NLP Therapy London: Sage Publications Rothschild, B. (2000) The Body Remembers. The Psychophysiology of Trauma & Trauma Treatment New York: W. W. Norton & Company Stoltenberg, C.D. & Delworth, U. (1987) Supervising Counsellors and Therapists: A Developmental Approach London: Jossey-Bass Watzlawick, P. (1993) The Language of Change. Elements of Therapeutic Communication New York: W. W. Norton & Company

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HEALTH

New Year, New Start Reverse your resolutions

by Eve Menezes Cunningham

D

id you make any New Year Resolutions last year? As you look back, how do you feel that worked out? Did you keep any of them?

This New Year, instead of making a list that will quickly become a chore, fast forward a little.

Imagine that we’re just about to enter 2009...

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Winter 2007 - rapport

YOUR HEALTH How do you feel waking up next winter? Are those aching joints a thing of the past since you improved your diet and started a regular yoga practice? Can you now fit into your favourite party clothes with plenty of room to spare?

Have you had the all clear from your doctor?

Did you compete in a sporting event that previously felt impossible? Are you regularly bouncing out of bed in the morning raring to go, feeling refreshed and rested after a good night’s sleep?

Pick an outcome that you’d be delighted with this time next year. Then looking “back”

HEALTH

to today, ask yourself how you got there. What were the changes you made? How did you make these new choices habit?

What was different this time? Did you choose to exercise with a friend instead of trying to motivate yourself to do something less enjoyable alone? Did planning your meals in advance make comfort food binges a thing of the past because you stabilised your blood sugar levels better? Did you create a relaxing bedtime ritual and give yourself a cut off time for TV and work related reading?

Having identified them, list all the changes that make your future self much happier with your health.

YOUR WORK Think about your working life and the way it’s changed through 2008. Are you celebrating a pay rise? A promotion or new job? Have you set up on your own?

Have you downsized successfully? Are you enjoying increased responsibility in the same job?

How did you get there? Did you undertake additional training? Did you find a mentor?

What are the little things you started doing on a daily basis that quickly added up?

love and care about? Even if they’re not local, did you make more time to meet up with them throughout the year?

Do you feel more valued by your friends?

Have you met new, more like-minded people?

How did this happen? Did you decide to develop a previously dormant interest by joining a group or class? Have you started talking to strangers? Did no longer waiting beyond a certain point for your lovable but always late friend help her or him become more punctual?

What kinds of qualities did you decide were important to you in a good friend? Did you work on cultivating those qualities in yourself, too? Did knowing what you were looking for help you make better decisions?

Again, list everything.

YOUR LOVE LIFE How has your relationship improved over 2008? If you’re in a long term relationship, have you learned to make more time for each other? Rediscovered why you fell for each other in the first place? Are you having more fun together? Supporting each other more? Talking to each other instead of letting things slide only to explode later?

What changed? Did you start focusing on the things you love about him or her instead of giving all that energy to the little annoyances? Did you take the radical step of actually talking (in a gentle, nonconfrontational but still assertive, outcomefocused way, of course) about things you

Fast forward a little.

Imagine we’re just about to enter 2009…

Again, list everything that’s making a positive difference.

YOUR FRIENDS As you think about welcoming in 2009, who are the people you’re celebrating New Year’s Eve with? Are you surrounded by people you

wanted to improve for both of you?

Or maybe you’re happily single after deciding that you and your partner ultimately want different things? Maybe, after being single for a while you decided to open up a little and start dating again?

Whatever your situation, as you look back over the year that you’re creating, list each step.

YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION How much happier are you about your money issues at the end of 2008? Have you saved a nice cushion so you no longer feel anxious?

Started investing? Bought something you previously couldn’t have afforded? Cleared your debts?

How did you get there? Packed lunches and coffee in a thermos instead of buying it each day (celebrate your contribution to the planet as well as your wallet as you reduce packaging)? Talking to an Independent Financial Advisor you got on well with so money talk felt less like a chore? Negotiated better pay for your work? Created multiple streams of income so you didn’t have to keep working so hard? Invited friends over rather than going out each night?

Again, list all the little steps you took.

YOUR KIDS If parenting is important to you, think about how your children are doing at the end of 2008. Are things calmer now? Are they doing better at school? Do you spend more time with them now? Arrange more playdates for them?

Did booking a tutor make a difference?

Do you now have children? What did you

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| 27

HEALTH

do in 2008 to make it happen? Acknowledge to yourself that you wanted to become a parent and start trying? Look into adoption proceedings?

kickstart this connection? What made it work this time?

Again, list all the little steps that helped you get there.

BACK TO THE PRESENT So now we’re back in 2007, about to begin 2008. You’re all fired up as you realise how much you can change by implementing all your clues. While you’re in this positive state, take advantage of it.

Commitment, as they say, is seeing something through long after the initial burst of enthusiasm has faded. By creating reminders of this enthusiasm, you’ll be able to boost your motivation throughout the coming 12 months.

YOUR HOME ENVIRONMENT Have you moved? Did redecorating give you the boost you wanted? Have you decluttered?

What steps did you take? Did doing one drawer at a time rather than tipping all the cupboard contents onto the floor avoid that previous sense of being overwhelmed?

Did you improve relationships with your neighbours? How did this happen? Did you let them know what had been bothering you (again, staying firmly focused on the outcome you wanted)? Did simply introducing yourself and inviting some neighbours over for a coffee improve your sense of community?

List everything.

SPIRIT Are you, at the end of 2008, happier than ever with your connection with the Universe / God / Goddess / Allah / Nature?

How did this happen? Did you start taking regular walks in nature? Meditating daily?

Changing churches / mosques / temples?

Simply making more time for you to spend alone? Keeping a gratitude journal? Did reading about different beliefs help you

Again, list every little thing.

SCHEDULE IN THOSE CHANGES The little things you’ve been listing as you’ve taken mental inventory of your life can become concrete steps. But if they were easy, you’d already have done them. So, now, having identified several steps, start scheduling in these activities.

Pepper a 2008 diary / wall planner / electronic organiser with actions to bring improvements in each area. Make a firm commitment to each positive action.

Taking a few small steps each day and week will build up very quickly. And this regular progress will help make moving in the right direction a habit rather than the odd fluke.

Schedule those changes in Create visual reminders Identify obstacles

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CREATE VISUAL REMINDERS If you haven’t already made a vision board to represent the wonderful things you’re bringing into your life in 2008, do this now. Use a photo of you and pictures and words that inspire you. Add your own touches with paint and glitter, if you feel like it, too. Make it something that lifts you whenever you look at it.

Don’t stop at one board. Scatter other visual reminders throughout your home. These can be as blatant or as subtle as you want depending on whom you share your space with. The idea is that each item you choose will remind you of your goals every time you catch sight of them over the coming months.

Want to do more writing? Pop a pencil in random places around your home or office. Saving up for a new car? Visit a toy shop and choose a tiny car to represent this. Choose something for each area of your life.

AVOIDING OBSTACLES Using a bit of hindsight (from your fictional foray into the future), identify any obstacles that cropped up. Rather than leaving your Future Self to deal with them, give them a little thought now. How can you sidestep them?

SET THE TONE Finally, before you welcome in the New Year, take a few minutes to be thankful for 2007. It’s easy to think of “gratitude” as something fluffy that doesn’t work. But recent research from the University of California, Davis has found that when people are grateful, they’re healthier, happier, more optimistic and more likely to help others.

Adopting this mindset will help you make a great start to 2008.

Sign up for free tips to help you make a confident start to 2008 at www.applecoaching.com

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ANLP DEVELOPMENT

NLP gets its first International Academic Research Conference Academic research into NLP is still a small field. A conference, planned for next summer and supported by ANLP, will give it a focus with the aim of accelerating progress in the field. Andy Coote finds out more

T

he first international Neuro-Linguistic Programming Research Conference is being planned for the UK in July 2008. Organised by the University of Surrey in partnership with ANLP International, it is being billed as “independent of any NLP training organisation”. Dr Paul Tosey of the School of Management, University of Surrey, the Conference Organiser, told me that the conference intends to “bring together people doing research in NLP” and to showcase the research work that is going on in the field.

Dr Tosey believes that the conference will be “groundbreaking in bringing together researchers with an international dimension.

Academic research into NLP is still an extremely small field and in a lot of academic quarters, NLP has a bad reputation.” The conference is one step towards changing those perceptions.

Following the Call for Papers, which was issued in November 2007, the programme will be assembled in early 2008. It is anticipated that there will be keynote presentations from Charles Faulkner, a respected writer on NLP topics and a Visiting Senior Fellow at the Centre for Management Learning, University of Surrey and from another invited speaker, possibly Dr Monique Esser of the University of Leuven, Belgium who has written an academic book - La PNL en perspective - about NLP (currently in

French only). There will be a further 20 papers plus poster sessions where active research will be outlined. Presenters will be invited to submit their material for publication in a volume of proceedings to be published after the event.

Dr Tosey sees this first conference as a start to building “stronger connections between NLP and the field of formal research”. He feels that it is “important to welcome and support research into NLP. It is more likely to become accepted in that way. We do need to stay open to the possibility that NLP may not work whilst adding to the research”. The conference is open to all forms of research – quantitative and qualitative, notes Dr Tosey. There is high profile research as part of the NLP Research and Recognition Project (www.nlpiash.org) which is specifically intended “to get wider recognition among therapy, education and health care professionals”. Charles Faulkner is working on finding evidence from other disciplines that might cross over into the NLP sector and that is also valuable work towards providing an academic underpinning for NLP. The papers submitted for the conference will be reviewed by an organising committee which includes Dr Tosey and Charles Faulkner plus Karen Moxom, MD of ANLP International, Dr Suzanne Henwood, author of ‘NLP and Coaching for Healthcare Professionals (John Wiley), Dr Jane Mathison and Professor

building stronger connections between NLP and the field of formal research

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Eugene Sadler-Smith from the School of Management, University of Surrey and Lisa Wake, former chair of UKCP. The conference is seeking submissions that contribute to the development of research into NLP. Proposers are expected to demonstrate how they have used research methodologies or scholarship and include links to literature outside the field of NLP. Full submission details can be obtained from the website at www.som.surrey. ac.uk/nlp2008.

Karen Moxom, MD of ANLP International said that she was pleased to be working with the University of Surrey on the conference. “NLP is often criticised for its lack of academic backing. I see this conference as a starting point for the NLP community to link with academic researchers to create a body of research. I’m sure that it will benefit the community as a whole.”

Rapport will provide an update on the Conference once the programme is decided. Dr Tosey is keen to attract a wide range of participants to the event.

“We don’t expect to fill the Conference with academics and hope to attract people with interests in healthcare management, education and human resource development, people doing PhD research into NLP and anyone from the NLP community with an interest in research and exploration of the underlying principles.”

For further information, visit www.som.surrey.ac.uk/nlp2008

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NLP

Congruency, Intention and the

Goal Beyond the Goal

by Michael Carroll

T

here are many aspects to NLP and the pursuit of personal excellence is one. There is a lot of talk in the personal development field of successful people being goal driven. In this article I will explore goals from an NLP perspective. I will also outline how by being clear about ‘intention’, ‘ecology’ and the ‘goal beyond the goal’ you can come up with an outcome that is much more real and compelling.

Before the development of NLP, the personal development field focused on ‘goals’. Napoleon Hill in his revolutionary book ‘Think and Grow Rich’ advocated writing down your goals and reading them every day, while Jose Silva, who created the Silva Mind System, suggested going into an altered state to visualise your goals and reinforcing this practice with images placed around your home and workplace, such as putting a picture of the dream car on the fridge. These ideas work – providing you are congruent with the goal, and the goal is right for you. The key here is congruency.

In the classic code of NLP, Grinder and Bandler put forward a different approach to goal setting. They called goals ‘outcomes’ and created a formula to test whether an outcome was well-formed for the individual. The ‘well-formedness conditions’ for an outcome are now thirty years old and to most people familiar with NLP they are simply normal practice and not considered revolutionary. Thirty years ago, however, people were not thinking like Grinder and Bandler and the formula added a new dimension to personal achievement. Here’s a reminder of the well-formedness conditions: • State your goal in positive terms, so you’re focusing attention on what you want, not on what you don’t want • Ensure that the goal and the steps towards achieving it are under your control • Describe both the outcome and the steps towards it in vivid sensory terms of what you’ll see, hear, and feel • Be flexible: there may be more than one way to reach your goal • Be sure that achieving your outcome will not only increase your choices but also maintain the positive elements of your present state • Check that your goal is ‘ecological’; it must be appropriate for the context in which it applies and it must fit in with the bigger picture of your life The above process was originally created for people who wanted to change behavioural issues, such as those associated with phobias and

limiting beliefs, and was later generalised for setting goals which are concrete and tangible. Anyone trained in NLP will appreciate the value of ensuring that an outcome fits the well-formedness conditions.

The idea of setting goals comes up in so many personal development systems that some people switch off when the subject arises. I believe the reason for this is because so many people have set goals but not achieved them and as a consequence they feel bad about the process of setting goals.

Why do so many people miss their goals?

There are many reasons why people don’t achieve their goals. Maybe they’re not truly congruent with the goal, or they don’t take the necessary action, or the goal doesn’t fit in with their general life system, or they’re not clear about the ‘goal beyond the goal’. These reasons are linked.

If you’re not congruent, you don’t take action. If you’re not clear about what lies beyond the goal you can lose congruency and be less motivated to take action. And if the goal doesn’t fit in with your general life system you don’t take action, you don’t have congruency and the ‘goal beyond the goal’ is irrelevant.

What will achieving this goal enable you to do?

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What does the ‘goal beyond the goal’ mean?

Being clear about what lies beyond the goal – what achieving the goal will enable you to do – is crucial as it links to the bigger picture of the goal, including ecology and congruence. Goals come in different forms, from daily to monthly and yearly goals. Obviously your daily goals should form part of your monthly ones, which form part of your yearly goals and even longer-term outcomes.

Some time ago a woman in her mid-twenties came to see me for help.

She was a size 22 and deeply unhappy. Her weight had been fluctuating for the last six years. She had it set in her mind that she wanted ‘to lose weight’, and she would regularly put herself on strict diets. After a spell of strict dieting she would break the eating plan by eating a cake or biscuit and in her own mind think she had failed. She would then binge eat for weeks until she had regained the weight she had lost and more.

This polarity meant her weight could go up or down by 12 – 18 pounds in one month.

There were many issues to work with in this client’s case. Firstly, she did not have a clear outcome: her attention was on just ‘losing weight’.

NLP

In the absence of a clear outcome, one glitch like eating a cake created a situation where she would just give up. If she had established a clearly defined congruent outcome of the specific weight she wanted to be, along with a representation of how she would look, sound and feel when she reached her goal, then that one cake would not throw her off track.

As Henry Ford said: ‘Obstacles are things that get in your way when you lose sight of your goals.’

It would also help this client to go beyond the well-formedness conditions and identify the goal beyond the goal. This means being clear about what she wanted to do after she had achieved her goal – what achieving the goal would enable her to do. In this woman’s case she wanted to help others in a similar position by writing a book and developing a series of workshops.

So the questions to ask yourself, or your client, are: • What greater outcome is this goal a part of ?

• What will achieving this goal enable you to do?

When you start to think beyond the goal the outcome becomes much more compelling. If on the other hand you’re not clear about what you want beyond it, achieving the goal can sometimes be an anticlimax: well, you’ve done it OK, but so what?

Discovering the intentions behind behaviours that get in the way of your achieving your goals In many cases, achieving a goal means changing some behaviours. Earlier in this article I spoke about the importance of establishing congruence in terms of your outcome. Like the goal beyond the goal, congruence and ecology are at a higher level (larger chunk) than the goal. If there are some behavioural changes required as part of the outcome, such as adopting a different eating routine or a new habit that you’re incongruent with, it’s worth exploring the intention underlying the behaviour you’re working on changing.

‘Intention’ means the intended personal benefit of a behaviour, state or goal. Intention works at both the unconscious and conscious levels and the two are not always aligned. For example in the case of the woman mentioned earlier, she had a conscious intention to ‘lose weight’ which was not well-stated and an unconscious pattern of binge eating. There was a positive intention (benefit) underlying the binge eating pattern: the ‘comfort and release’ that occurred in the moments of binge eating when her mind would go blank. The important thing to recognise is there are

many ways to satisfy the intention of comfort, release and clearing the mind that don’t include binge eating.

When you’ve established the intention of negative behaviours that get in the way of achieving a well-stated goal, you can build the elements of intention into the goal and the goal beyond the goal. My client has now taken up meditation and salsa dancing, both of which give her an enormous release and help her clear her mind. The new hobbies feature in both the achieving of the goal and in the goal beyond the goal, thus adding congruency.

The other side of intention – the driver that makes the goal and the goal beyond the goal a reality In addition to the importance of establishing the intention of a behaviour that’s getting in the way of achieving the goal, it’s just as vital to be clear about your intention in going for the goal. This is really the ultimate ecology check that establishes motivation and clearly defines the direction of the many goals beyond the goal. The simple questions to ask of a client or yourself are: • What is your intention for wanting this?

• For what purpose do you want this?

My client answered these questions with: ‘So I can be free and enjoy a long healthy life.’ Now that really is a goal beyond the goal! Maybe we could change Henry Ford’s saying to: ‘Obstacles are things that get in your way when you lose sight of the goal beyond the goal.’

Thirty years ago the NLP co-creators came up with the wellformedness conditions for setting outcomes. These conditions were designed to ensure that the outcome was something the person really wanted and so to increase the prospect of its becoming a reality. I propose that clarifying ‘intention’ and the ‘goal beyond the goal’ provides the ultimate congruency and ecology checks and that this really enables a person to enjoy not only the journey of achieving but also what lies beyond the achievement.

Michael Carroll is the founder and course director of the NLP Academy and co-founder with John Grinder and Carmen Bostic St Clair of the International Trainers Academy of NLP. The only NLP Master Trainer in the world certified

by John Grinder and Carmen Bostic St Clair, he continues to work closely with them in developing New Code NLP processes and streamlining the classic code patterns. www.nlpacademy.co.uk info@nlpacademy.co.uk 0208 686 9952

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BUSINESS

Walking in the shoes of the client

Towergate Professional Risks work with clients of many types – including many therapists – providing them with the liability insurance they need to practice. When they decided to improve the communications skills of their team, they chose NLP techniques to do it. Andy Coote reports on the approach and its outcomes

M

any readers of Rapport will be familiar with Towergate Professional Risks. They provide specialist liability insurance to psychologists, psychotherapists, counsellors, complementary therapists, personnel and human resources consultants and work with, amongst others, BACP, UKCP and ANLP. Based in Leeds, Towergate have been in the liability insurance business for 90 years. After a recent period of change – moving offices and changes to technology – Sue Lewis, Operations Manager, felt the need to offer additional training in communications skills. “We are a regulated business and have to provide a lot of training but most of it is Insurance-based technical training. We felt we also needed to provide some personal skills training. We saw it as helping people to help themselves. Most of the work we do with clients is telephone based where it helps to be in a good state and to have clarity in our communications. We were also aware that communication in the right language leads to a happier client and wanted our people to increase their awareness of power and effect of language and voice”.

The decision was made to provide training to some of the management team in the use of NLP techniques. Sue Lewis had already

experienced the effect that NLP can have on communication and wanted the team to realise that they have the power to be able to “make a valuable contribution and proactively help to shape the business”.

After taking recommendations, Towergate chose to work with Nick Kemp of Nick Kemp Training, a locally based trainer with an excellent reputation. Nick’s first activity was to go in and spend time with Sue Lewis and Nick Houghton, MD of Towergate Professional Risks, to understand the need. He then emailed all of the potential trainees and asked what

We saw it as helping people to help themselves three key things they wanted from training in communication. Following that he then spent a day interviewing all of the people selected as a “comprehensive information check against Sue and Nick’s perceptions of the needs and to discover each person’s model of the world especially what was and was not working for them”.

Based on those interviews and the initial brief, common themes emerged allowing Nick

and the Towergate team to agree the main issues to be addressed and to balance the teams. The one-day training to be delivered to two groups was then designed to meet those business needs. Nick Kemp notes that the main elements were to be “Rapport building, problem solving, the effect and importance of state, awareness and use of language and voice and awareness that how and what you ask determines results”.

Despite the NLP content of the course, it was described to the participants as a course about improving communications with the aims of understanding how people communicate, how the participants do what they do and how to get the best from what they were doing.

The training itself was designed to be practical and employed exercises to get the participants using – and embedding – the skills they were learning. The participants were shown the value of open questions in learning what the client really wants and how the right language can produce more detailed and accurate information. The power of specific and clear questioning was also explored.

Participants had plenty of opportunity to practice the skills.

One example from the course shows the effect of the right language on eliciting information. “One member’s biggest challenge”, notes Nick Kemp, “was communicating to a group of around 12 people within the business and explaining policy to them. At the end of these briefings, he would ask “do you have any problems?” but no one ever spoke up. As a result he only found the problems once the teams were implementing the policy. I explained that most people won’t admit to problems or talk about them in a

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BUSINESS

group and he agreed to change the approach to “what else do you need from me before you begin with this?”

Was the initiative a success? One of the participants was Steve Garbutt, Customer Service Manager and a self-admitted ‘cynic and sceptic’. “I’ve been in insurance for 20 years and have experienced lots of previous external training. To be honest, my expectations were not brilliant.” The approach, delivery and, above all, the content, changed that view. “Nick came to speak to everyone, identified our issues which was really good and then tailored the course to what we needed. It was the first time anyone had taken that time to make it relevant to us.” Steve found the interactivity useful as well, “the role plays related to the work I do, so I have the confidence to keep questioning people about the type of work they do and to match insurance more exactly to their needs”. The benefits are also being passed on to others. Steve is now showing other members of his team how to use the techniques both within the team and with customers. “It was a positive experience for me and the whole communication of the company is now much clearer with less misunderstanding or ambiguity.”

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The feedback reaching Nick Kemp is that business is going extremely well and that there has been a “definite improvement in communication”. One participant has told him that he is “having a lot of fun putting it into practice with customers”.

One of the direct benefits of the training was that they were able to work on telephone scripts to make them more conversational.

“Most people’s perception of insurance is that it is a necessary evil and they want the process to be as easy and pleasant as possible.

Towergate’s people are selling peace of mind,” suggests Nick Kemp. “I was also able to help with being able to give bad news by working on their use of language to direct clients into useful states and also to enable them to dissociate from the client’s emotional state.”

The effects will go beyond work and into the participants’ lives. “The course was about how people communicate in a much broader

sense. It will provide them with skills for life.

People are being influenced all of the time and it is useful to be aware of when and how it is happening”.

The management team are also pleased with the outcomes. Sue Lewis is now looking at how to build on what has been achieved. “It seems to have worked for everyone but some will take more time to get all of the benefits”.

She is now planning to build personal skills training into the ongoing staff development and sees it as a benefit in finding and retaining staff. “It is always hard to get the right staff and we want to hang on to those we have. It isn’t just about money either. We recognise that the skills we are teaching makes them more valuable to Towergate. We want our staff to be empowered and this has helped that. People now have a more open mind and look for wider possibilities. It is a valuable part of what we’ve done in training.”

“The whole process was helped by Nick’s approach. He devised a good programme and delivered it to a mix of people, fully taking into account their individual styles and behaviours.

We hope that our customers benefit from the difference the training has made.”

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TRAINING & WORKSHOPS

salad one of the world’s

most innovative NLP companies

by Jamie Smart “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?” – Marianne Williamson

W

hen I read Marianne Williamson’s quote after attending my first NLP practice group back in 1998, something woke up inside me. It was a sense of adventure and possibility, a deep inner knowing that said “You’re capable of far more than you think you are, because you are far more than you think you are”. It’s this sense that continues to provide Salad with direction, purpose and motivation. Our core mission as an NLP business is effectively to awaken this sense in people: to help create a world where everyone is being true to themselves and doing what they love.

The impact of the first NLP training I attended was equally profound. I loved everything about it, from the power and impact of the exercises we did, to the effortless way that the presenter told fascinating stories (“Wordsalad”, one of the Milton Erickson stories he told us, would give Salad its name a few years later).

Salad opened its doors in January 2003 with a simple goal – to help people learn and apply NLP authentically, practically and skilfully.

While I’d attended some very large NLP training courses, my most dramatic increases in skill had come when I was exploring in smaller groups, and could get direct feedback from the trainer. We decided to go with the same approach (for example, our NLP Trainer Training with Christina Hall has a maximum of 24 participants).

Give Great Stuff Away for Free The world of marketing was new and seemed overwhelming to us at that time, so we decided to start learning and experimenting immediately. I wrote my first “NLP Tip” newsletter on January 7, 2003 and sent it out to everyone in my email inbox (about 300 people).

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Give great stuff away for free – people will want more and tell their friends. The approach seemed risky at the time – I was even warned by a well-known NLP trainer not to give so much away. But the response was good; by June we had nearly 700 readers.

This idea is an obvious extension of our desire to share NLP with everyone who wants to learn more, and an abundance mentality: the idea that there’s enough to go around.

Even if someone isn’t in a position to come on a course or buy a product, we still want them to have access to the finest NLP materials. We now give away a wide variety of content in digital form, including our card decks, articles, audio downloads and (with our latest venture, myNLPresources.com) videos.

Putting the “L” Back into “NLP” One of the things that really struck me when I first started learning NLP was this: the best NLP trainers use language exquisitely, but language skills are typically undertaught on NLP courses. Our NLP Practitioner and Master Practitioner courses are 15 days, with 5 modules of 3 days each, so we have time to focus on this incredibly important aspect of NLP. I’ve always been passionate about language, and in 2004 we launched Ericksonian Hypnosis Cards™ to help people develop their hypnotic language skills fast. It seems that thousands of other people share my passion, because they’re a hugely successful product. We’ve since created Irresistible Influence Cards and NLP Coaching Cards, as well as a variety of audio and DVD products to continue helping people develop their language skills.

Over the years, other language aficionados have told me “If you want to develop your language skills, go and learn from Christina

Hall”. Dr Hall has been training NLP for over 25 years, and was Richard Bandler’s apprentice, protégé and collaborator. She helped create many of the Sleight of Mouth patterns, as well as some of the most well-known NLP developments, including Submodalities, The Swish Pattern, The Compulsion Blowout Technique and many others.

NLP Trainer Training and NLP Master Trainer Training Perhaps above all, Christina is renowned as “The Language Master”, so you can understand how delighted I was when she agreed to deliver SNLP-certified NLP Trainer Training with Salad. We ran the first one this year, and it was a huge success. This is the only small group SNLP Trainer Training in the UK, so we feel particularly honoured to be hosting it.

I’m excited to announce that starting in 2008, Salad will be offering an NLP Master Trainer Training (only open to people who have completed Chris Hall’s NLP Trainer Training programme). People who participate in NLP Master Trainer Training and complete all the certification criteria will be eligible to be certified as NLP Master Trainers, with the right to train and certify NLP Trainers. As you can imagine, this is an enormous step for Salad, and offers a clear route forward for people wanting to play a pivotal role in shaping the future of NLP. The World’s Most Comprehensive NLP Website Before starting Salad, I thought that to build a business, I had to figure everything out in advance. But I don’t think about it that way anymore. It’s possible to model the universe as a system, and people as unique elements of that system. The process of growing Salad is one

TRAINING & WORKSHOPS of co-creation – we make plans and set goals, but they’re just plans. When you take action, the interaction of the conscious mind, the unconscious mind and the environment makes things possible that weren’t previously imagined.

A case in point is our new website, myNLPresources.com. When I first imagined the site, it was as a kind of multimedia NLP encyclopaedia, where you could type in terms like “anchoring”, “meta model” or “reimprinting” and be presented with a variety of resources: articles explaining the techniques, audio recordings and videos of Salad trainers demonstrating the processes etc.

As we’ve developed the website, a new vision has emerged: the world’s most comprehensive NLP website, where you can listen to audio recordings, read articles and watch online videos from the world’s finest NLP trainers, regardless of what certifying body they’ve been licensed by or what company they work for.

Members can interact with the trainers and each other on the site’s community forum, and help support each other in developing better and better NLP skills. Yes, it still achieves the vision of a multimedia NLP encyclopaedia, but this idea of a “nondenominational” NLP learning resource goes far beyond that.

Imagine that you want to brush up on rapport techniques before a job interview, or on the phobia cure before a client session: you go into myNLPresources.com, type “phobia cure” into the search box, print off the instructions for the technique, then watch multiple trainers demonstrate it, each in their own unique way. myNLPresources.com was launched on November 20th , 2007, and already has over 700 videos, audios and articles loaded to it, with more being added each week. In addition to the various Salad trainers, we are loading material from people as diverse as James Lavers (NLP marketing specialist), Nick Kemp (NLP trainer and founder of NLPMP3.com), Frank Farrelly (creator of Provocative Therapy) and Steve Andreas (renowned NLP developer, author and co-editor of many of the original NLP books).

The Salad Team One of the things we pride ourselves on is warm, friendly and effective customer service – we really want people to feel like they’re part of our family. To that end, the Salad business team (headed up by MD-in-training, Nikki Owen) does an amazing job of dealing with the

myriad of enquiries we get.

The desire to give people an incredibly positive experience is reflected in the Salad training team, which includes me, Dr Christina Hall PhD, Peter Freeth (author of a number of highly practical NLP books and my co-trainer on our NLP Practitioner programme), Michael Watson (the superb Ericksonian Hypnosis trainer), Simon Hazeldine (seasoned trainer and author of books on Sales and Negotiating using NLP), Sharon Sullivan and Andy Duffy (both loyal training assistants and recent graduates of our NLP Trainer Training programme).

Which brings me to our 2008 Master Practitioner programme, which is to be delivered by a team that includes Chris Hall, Michael Watson, Peter Freeth and myself. Having this group of people on one programme is a dream come true for me, and puts a dazzling array of expertise and practical, down-to-earth skills within the reach of our customers.

We’re also in the process of creating a formal

Salad training assistants programme, so that there’s a mapped-out process people can follow to get from attending an NLP Practitioner programme to becoming an NLP Trainer (or even Master Trainer), with the opportunity of delivering training on Salad programmes. We recognise that this isn’t the path for everybody, but if a person’s committed to making that journey, we want to support them in it.

Wikinomics and The Salad Community When I first started Salad, I never dreamt that I would be talking about “the Salad community”, but that’s exactly what’s emerging. Members of this “community” (those who subscribe to our services and use our products) have grown to the tens of thousands, and myNLPresources. com is set to take that to the next level.

This makes wonderful things possible, for example: earlier this year, we needed to find a copywriter to help us with our marketing.

Instead of going down the traditional route, we sent out an email to our subscribers, offering a cash prize for the person who wrote the best Salad-style advertising for a product. We received hundreds of enquiries and a number of very strong submissions. We now have several excellent copywriters who are a) wellversed in NLP and b) understand the Salad culture. This is an example of “wikinomics”, the sort of effect that’s only possible in a large, online community. Even though finding a copywriter this way may not seem like a big deal, I think it’s actually one of the most significant events in the evolution of the Salad community.

And who are the members of this community? They come from diverse countries and backgrounds, with varied interests and their own reasons for wanting to develop their NLP skills and the quality of their lives. The Salad strapline is “Do what you love”, and I like to think that, at least on an unconscious level, it’s that desire to be who we really are, and do what we love that unites us.

That was the desire that impelled me to quit my job as a consultant a few weeks after attending my first NLP training course, and go on this amazing journey.

It’s that desire that got me to write my first NLP tip, to write my first card deck, and to sponsor Chris Hall’s NLP Trainer Training. So I like to think that it’s that desire that attracts people to Salad, and that we help them to fulfil.

On training courses, I often ask people “Have you realised yet just how amazing you are?” While I’m immensely proud of the Salad team and the business we’re creating, the real message is not about how great we are, but about how great all of us are. The power and potential that each one of us has within us is extraordinary – we are all capable of far more than we think we are. I’ll hand back over to Marianne Williamson…

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

You can visit the Salad website and get access to free NLP tips, hypnotic language courses and other valuable information at www.saladltd.co.uk You can find over 700 online NLP video clips, articles and audios as well as a vibrant NLP Community forum www.myNLPresources.com

rapport - Winter 2007

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DIARY

Free Three Hour NLP Taster Workshop - Create the Life You Want 2 Feb 2008 Sandwich - Kent Lindsey Agness 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com NLP Leader - NLP Practitioner Training - Stage 1 4 Feb 2008 Warwickshire Deborah Cole-Wilde 07974 330768 debbie@cole-wilde.co.uk

Diary of Events for Winter / Spring 2008 January 08

Master Business Practitioner 5 Feb 2008 Alvechurch- West Midlands Ellen Gifford 01527 585310 ellen@thelearningpath.co.uk

NLP Practitioner Course 2008 19 Jan 2008 Nr Forres Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk

Introducing NLP 26 Jan 2008 London John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymourassociates.co.uk

Create the Life You Want 5 Jan 2008 Ashford International Hotel- Kent Lindsey Agness- The Change Corporation 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com

NLP Business Communications 22 Jan 2008 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymourassociates.co.uk

Live It Unlimited!

27 Jan 2008 Near London Murielle Maupoint 01494 580029 murielle@liveit.com

Introducing NLP 5 Jan 2008 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymourassociates.co.uk

Free NLP Diploma 22 Jan 2008 London John Cassidy-Rice www.free-nlp.co.uk john@free-nlp.co.uk

Free NLP Diploma 9 Jan 2008 London John Cassidy-Rice john@free-nlp.co.uk

Modular Practitioner Course 24 Jan 2008 Forres. Moray Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk

Diploma In Neuro Linguistic Psychotherapy 12 Jan 2008 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com

NLP Master Practitioner Training 25 Jan 2008 Central London Arielle Essex 020 7622 4670 arielle@practicalmiracles.com

Fast-track NLP Master Practitioner 17 Jan 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com

Compassionate Coaching Workshop 25 Jan 2008 Central London Arielle Essex 020 7622 4670 arielle@practicalmiracles.com

NLP Practitioner 4 Jan 2008 Chichester Roger Terry 01243 792122 roger@evolutiontraining.co.uk

40 |

Winter 2007 - rapport

Essential NLP for Business 28 Jan 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com The Dynamics of Change with RogerTerry 29 Jan 2008 Chichester Roger Terry 01243 792122 info@evolutiontraining.co.uk Advanced Certificate in Coaching Skills 31 Jan 2008 Corsham- Wiltshire Sally Vanson 01249 700290 sally@theperformancesolution.com

February 08 NLP Diploma (INLPTA) Course with WomanWisdom™ 2 Feb 2008 North East London Sharon Eden MA (Psych) UK 020 8597 9200 sharon.eden@womenofcourage.co.uk

Ericksonian Hypnosis Certification 7 Feb 2008 Croydon Michael Carroll 020 8686 9952 info@realnlp.co.uk New modular Master Practitioner Training including Time Line Therapy™ and Hypnotherapy 9 Feb 2008 Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk ILM Level 7 Diploma in Executive Coaching and Leadership Mentoring 12 Feb 2008 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com NLP Diploma Mod 1 13 Feb 2008 Chichester Roger Terry 01243 792122 roger@evolutiontraining.co.uk States of Excellence 14 Feb 2008 Central London Judith Lowe 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk NLP Practitioner 16 Feb 2008 Bedfordshire Melody Cheal 01767 640956 melody@gwiztraining.com

Sports Psychology Training 20 Feb 2008 Trent Bridge Cricket Ground Ken Way 07973 321039 ken@vsl.co.uk ANLP-accredited NLP Practitioner Part I/NLP Foundation Skills (NLP Practitioner Part I) 21 Feb 2008 Manchester - UK Andy Smith 0845 8385583 andy@practicaleq.com ANLP-Accredited NLP Practitioner Training 21 Feb 2008 Manchester Airport Holday Inn Andy Smith 0845 83 855 83 andy@practicaleq.com Diploma In Clinical Hypnotherapy 21 Feb 2008 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com Introducing NLP 21 Feb 2008 London John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymourassociates.co.uk INLPTA NLP Practitioner Training 21 Feb 2008 London Helen Drake 0208 995 2864 helen@pointtaken.com NLP Practitioner 21 Feb 2008 London John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymourassociates.co.uk NLP Practitioner Training 22 Feb 2008 Central London Arielle Essex 020 7622 4670 arielle@practicalmiracles.com

Unleashing the Creative Genius of your Team!

22 Feb 2008 Covent Garden- Central London PPD Learning 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk

DIARY

Business Practitioner Course 24 Feb 2008 Forres - Highland Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk NLP Trainers Training 26 Feb 2008 North Yorkshire Susi Strang Wood MRCGP 01287 654175 drsusistrang@aol.com NLP Sales Training 27 Feb 2008 London John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymourassociates.co.uk NLP Diploma Mod 2 27 Feb 2008 Chichester Roger Terry 01243 792122 roger@evolutiontraining.co.uk

March 08 Certified NLP Practitioner for Business 3 Mar 2008 Institute of Directors- Reading Swen Hollestelle 0118 900 1527 swen@mynoggin.co.uk NLP Leader - NLP Practitioner Training - Stage 2 3 Mar 2008 Warwickshire Deborah Cole-Wilde 07974 330768 debbie@cole-wilde.co.uk NLP Business Practitioner (module one) 4 Mar 2008 Chelmsford ESSEX Denise Collins 01245 267058 Denise.Collins100@virgin.net NLP Premier Practitioner 4 Mar 2008 Croydon Michael Carroll 020 8686 9952 info@realnlp.co.uk

NLP Diploma 7 Mar 2008 Roger Terry 01243 792122 roger@evolutiontraining.co.uk Fast-track NLP Practitioner 8 Mar 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com Fast-Track NLP Sports Practitioner 8 Mar 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com Certified [SNLP] NLP Practitioner Course 8 Mar 2008 Lewes- East Sussex Christina Mills 01273 626644 christinamills@isiscentre.co.uk Discover NLP 8 Mar 2008 London Helen Drake 0208 995 2864 helen@pointtaken.com Free Workshop - Create the Life You Want 8 Mar 2008 Ashford International Hotel- Kent Lindsey Agness 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com Hypnotherapy Diploma Training 8 Mar 2008 Chelmsford Essex Denise Collins 01245 267058 Denise.Collins100@virgin.net ACCELERATED NLP Practitioner Certification 9 Mar 2008 London Colette White 0207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com

Powerful Presentations 3 day programme using NLP 10 Mar 2008 Sandwich- Kent Lindsey Agness- The Change Corporation 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com NLP Sports Psychology Programme 12 Mar 2008 Trent Bridge Cricket Ground Ken Way 07973 321039 ken@vsl.co.uk

Introducing NLP 29 Mar 2008 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymourassociates.co.uk

NLP Sales Training 8 Apr 2008 Bristol John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymourassociates.co.uk

Magic of Language 29 Mar 2008 Covent Garden- Central London Judith Lowe 0870 7744 321 info@ppdlearning.co.uk

NLP Practitioner 7-day intensive 12 Apr 2008 York Philip Callaghan 01904 636216 info@bronze-dragon.com

April 08

New Code NLP 13 Mar 2008 Croydon Michael Carroll 020 8686 9952 info@realnlp.co.uk

12 day NLP Practitioner 3 Apr 2008 Chelmsford ESSEX Denise Collins 01245 267058 Denise.Collins100@virgin.net

INLPTA NLP Practitioner Training 13 Apr 2008 London Helen Drake 0208 995 2864 helen@pointtaken.com

NLP Practitioner Training 15 Mar 2008 London Tom Mackay 0781 5879055 tom@mackaysolutions.co.uk

NLP Leader - NLP Champion Certificate - for Therapists 5 Apr 2008 Essex Deborah Cole-Wilde 07974 330768 debbie@cole-wilde.co.uk

NLP 7 Day Fastrack Practitioner Course 19 Apr 2008 Brighton Terry Elston 0800 074 6425 terryelston@nlpworld.co.uk

Introducing NLP 5 Apr 2008 London John Seymour 0845 658 0654 enquiries@john-seymourassociates.co.uk

NLP Coaching Excellence 25 Apr 2008 York Philip Callaghan 07968 223 947 info@resourcefulchange.co.uk

NLP Leader - NLP Champion Certificate - for Therapists 15 Mar 2008 Warwickshire Deborah Cole-Wilde 07974 330768 debbie@cole-wilde.co.uk Hypnosis Practitioner 15 Mar 2008 Chichester Roger Terry 01243 792122 info@evolutiontraining.co.uk NLP Practice Group for Practitioners an above 29 Mar 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com Master Practitioner Course 2007 - 2008 29 Mar 2008 Forres- Morayshire Rosie O’Hara 01309 676004 nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk

7 day fast track NLP Practitioner 5 Apr 2008 Sandwich- Kent Lindsey Agness 01304 621735 info@thechangecorporation.com Time Line Therapy® Practitioner 6 Apr 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com ACCELERATED NLP Master Practitioner Certification 6 Apr 2008 London Colette White 0207 249 5051 colette@infiniteexcellence.com

NLP Diploma 25 Apr 2008 Chichester Roger Terry 01243 792122 roger@evolutiontraining.co.uk Fast-Track NLP Sports Practitioner for Practitioners 28 Apr 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com Essential NLP for Business 30 Apr 2008 London Jeremy Lazarus 020 8349 2929 jeremy@thelazarus.com

To get your workshops and events listed in Rapport, log in as a member to www.anlp.org and enter your events into the online diary.

Every issue, online events listed for the next 3 months will be included in Rapport. rapport - Winter 2007

| 41

The Pocket Life Coach Coach Yourself to Health and Happiness Pete Chapman How’s life? Need a little coaching?

None of us have all the answers all of the time, especially when it comes to our own life. We all need a little objective guidance from time to time when we want to improve or change something about ourselves and our lives. It is not always easy to find someone who has the ability to help us change for the better and one thing is for sure, no-one is going to do it for us. This workbook is your tool, you very own pocket life coach to help you rediscover the healthiest, most productive, positive and creative you.

This book is about how to bring your true desires, talents, powers and purpose out of your head and into your life and stop the cycle of creating problems, drama, difficulty ISBN 978-184590071-7 and illness. It is about understanding what £12.99 Due January 3rd 2008 potential you have and how to develop it, recognizing and overcoming limitations, fears and recurring obstacles; freeing yourself up to be the best you can. We all have a better self inside. We all have a better life to live, and we all have this potential waiting to be unveiled. Life can often seem like a scene from a western where the hero is dragged along behind the wild horse through mud and cacti, winding up battered and bruised in a strange place surrounded by a hostile crowd. Other times it feels like smooth sailing, sunny and calm, where the slightest whim is granted and the smell of roses is the order of the day. The skill is in turning low and negative expectations into high and positive ones, problems into solutions and illness into vitality.

Pete Chapman, a Lincolnshire farm boy, had dreams of making it big and became British Bodybuilding Champion in 1991. After overcoming the ensuing body obsession and drug dependency, he studied yoga, nutrition, philosophy and many other healing arts and this led to his own radio fitness show. He has run a gym, trained professional athletes and worked with youth groups to develop drug rehabilitation and wellness programmes.

Now living and working in the USA Pete mentors and trains teenagers and adults to be healthy and successful.

They Did You Can How to achieve whatever you want in life with the help of your sporting heros Michael Finnigan The average young person loves sport.

Whether as a spectator or a participant, they are fascinated by their heroes of football or whatever they most enjoy.

Michael Finnigan runs a motivational company that is helping people achieve. He believes that, with the help of their sporting heroes, the young can realise anything they want, whether it be in the sporting or the academic sphere. The secret here is like slipping carrots into the pasta sauce.

Michael has interviewed a number of sporting celebrities to discover what it was that helped them make it.

Contributors include: Sir Clive Woodward, Martin Johnson CBE, David Moyes, Sir Tom Finney, Philip Neville, Gordon Banks, Gary Kirsten, Karen Barber, Dame Mary ISBN 978-184590064-9 Peters, Jeremy Snape, Eric Simons, Beth £12.99 Tweddle and Jonathan Davies MBE. The contributors have given him their secrets of success which he has combined with exercises to raise self esteem and aspirations so that youngsters too will be able to achieve.

Sir Clive Woodward, Martin Johnson CBE, David Moyes and Sir Tom Finney extend their contribution by each writing a foreword.

Michael Finnigan helps people from all walks of life to achieve goals and benefit from positive change. His clients represent blue chip companies as well as police, fire and education authorities. He also works in the elite sports arena in golf, cricket, rugby and football.

visit www.anglo-american.co.uk or contact us on 01202 724296

“Finally,�There's A Roadmap for Your�Journey�to NLP Mastery�at�the�Highest�Level” NLP Master�Trainer�Training* With�Dr.�Chris�Hall�NLP Meta-Master�Trainer

Dec�2-7 2008 &�Feb�14-19 2009

12�days Investment £5997�+�VAT

NLP Trainer�Training With�Dr.�Chris�Hall�NLP Meta-Master�Trainer

Feb�4-10 &�Jul�5-11 2008

14�days Investment £3997�+�VAT

NLP Master�Practitioner�Training With�Jamie�Smart,�Dr.�Chris�Hall, Peter�Freeth,�Michael�Watson Apr�2008�to Aug�2008 3�days per�month

15�days Investment £2997�+�VAT

NLP Practitioner�Training With�Jamie�Smart�&�Peter�Freeth Oct�2008�to Feb�2009 3�days per�month

15�days Investment £2997�+�VAT

Ericksonian�Hypnosis�Training With�Michael�Watson Apr�23�to Apr�30 2008

8�days Investment £1997�+�VAT

There�are�only�24�places�on�each�course,�&�significant "early-bird"�discounts�are�available,�so TAKE ACTION NOW�to�secure�your�place�&�avoid�missing�out.

Ring�the�booking�hotline�on�0845�650�1045,�email nikki.owen@saladltd.co.uk�or�book�online�at www.saladltd.co.uk

salad

do�what�you�love…

*�NLP Trainer�Training�with�Chris�Hall�is�a�prerequisite�for�Master�Trainer�Training.

BOOK REVIEWS

rapport book review The Little Book of Thunks Ian Gilbert £6.99, Crownhouse Publishing 260 questions to make your brain go ouch!

And I can honestly say it worked!! Ian Gilbert describes a ‘thunk’ as “a beguilingly simplelooking questions about everyday things that stops you in your tracks and helps you start looking at the world in a whole new light”.

He used them in his work with primary and secondary school children and describes the interesting debates that arise from them, ie “one group memorably identified that if zebras ruled the world there would be no racism” Ian Gilbert also explains that there are

no right or wrong answers to these questions and it helps the quieter members of the class have an opinion without feeling they could be wrong. It certainly stirred debate in my household, my husband and older son were not impressed but my 12 year old son loved thinking of how many different answers to the questions he could come up with, and then exploring how he arrived at his answers was fascinating. I found it a thoroughly absorbing and fascinating little book.

Julie Pearce, Book Review Panel

Hypnosis for Inner Conflict Resolution Roy Hunter £25, Crownhouse Publishing Ltd, Not only do I want to have hypnotherapy, I want to have hypnotherapy with Roy Hunter.

I also feel inspired to study it. This is a man who without doubt knows very much what he is talking about. The degree to which he explains the parts therapy process in his book ‘Hypnosis for Inner Conflict Resolution’ makes me feel as though I could actually facilitate a session. If Hunter explains things verbally in the same calm and clear way that he has written this book then I have no question that he is a fantastic teacher. The

development of parts therapy is discussed in detail; areas where the author has made changes are mentioned. All of these changes are then explained, and confidently justified.

This is not just an ordinary and dry text book for reference purposes; it is also a tribute to Charles Tebbetts, a man who obviously was, and still is a great inspiration to Hunter. It is also very autobiographical; the text is real and has emotion. Even one of the case studies is author as client.

Dave Rawlings, Book Review Panel

Different Thinking, Creative Strategies for Developing the Innovative Business Anja Foerster & Peter Kreuz £18.99, Kogan Page Don’t read this book – it’s far too good!

Packed with fresh ideas and strategies, you’ll find yourself acting on them, streaking ahead of your competitors and enjoying success in every way that matters to you. If you aspire to transform the value of your business, this book makes it easy for you, whatever your current role in your work-place. You don’t need to be an entrepreneur, risk taker or creative genius; you can become a successful innovator as you follow the authors’ “rules for business unconventionality.” Different thinking, unconventional ideas and practical steps are all ready for action and the book is wellillustrated with case studies from major brands

and companies. Foerster and Kreuz create change at the leading edge of a new generation of high-energy action-based business. They evidently write from extensive experience with international clients and I was delighted to find that such a well-researched, informationpacked book is also so clear and easy to read.Nevertheless, I just had to stop reading at times in order to write down and action new ideas for my business. Rewards go way beyond financial success: you can enjoy an exhilarating work environment, evolving new and unconventional ways to do business. Daring to be different makes the best sense in the world.

Susanna Bellini, Book Review Panel

rapport - Winter 2007

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AUTHOR INTERVIEW

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Winter 2007 - rapport

WANTED: Ten novice Arc tic explorers to take part in an expe dition to walk 350 miles to the Magn etic North Pole.

Are you man enough for the ultimate challenge?

AUTHOR INTERVIEW

SUE STOCKDALE walks her talk (and skis it too)

N

ot only does Sue Stockdale walk her talk, she’s even skied it – all the way to the Magnetic North Pole. In fact she has taken part in many expeditions, and recently finished runner-up in Channel 4 Superhuman challenge. She shares the benefits of her experiences with armchair and office adventurers everywhere through her inspirational speaking, coaching and writing.

Sue’s professional career has ranged from corporate training for British Gas to working for the UN in former Yugoslavia. Skilled in uniting the worlds of work and adventure, she has the ability not only to bring the learnings from her expeditions back home into her own daily life but also to make them relevant for others too. When Sue recently took time out to share her insights with Rapport readers, we got straight to the point...

Rapport: What’s the essence of the message you’d like to share with our readers?

Sue: Role modelling, authenticity, and inspiration.

Great! Let’s unpack this! Your own adventures have clearly required you to go beyond the comfort zone – many times and in many ways!

How do you do it?

Well, I admit I have a proactive preference – some people would call it naivety! I focus on the future, and it’s bright, so I just jump in.

Then along the way I realise that it’s more difficult than I thought it would be, but I’m already outside the comfort zone by then! Later, after I’ve survived the experience, I reflect on it and think, ‘Crumbs, if I can do that, I can do anything’ – so then the future looks great and off I go again! And I learn from my mistakes, and am happy to share them with others.

Inspiring others is not about being perfect and too good to be true – that wouldn’t be very inspiring at all! People have to be able to identify with someone they see as a role-model.

Things go wrong, and what matters is how you deal with it and what you learn from it.

Then you’re offering your genuine experience and authenticity.

In your book, Kickstart Your Motivation, you draw out the learnings gained from your expeditions and show how they can be applied in the business world. What’s the key to integrating learnings and bringing them home

to everyday life?

Reflection is important. For example, how much people take home from workshops and training sessions is largely dependent on how effectively they can reflect on what they’ve learned. It’s their responsibility to think about it. This links in with all three essential points – role modelling, authenticity, and inspiration – in that it’s about not saying, ‘So what?’ but rather, ‘How can I make this my own and use it not only for my own benefit but also to inspire others?’ I work a lot with metaphor. My ‘Seven Steps to Success’ outline works as a metaphor enabling others to take their own journey. And the journey doesn’t end with coming home from an expedition or workshop or whatever; it’s rather that each episode is a milestone on a longer journey. So when I come home I ask myself ‘What’s next?’ and reflect on what I’ve learned in relation to moving forwards. It helps to notice your focus, whether you tend to be past, present, or future oriented. Reflection on the past needs to be relevant to the present and to the future.

You described in your book how you were outraged at the assumption that only men would apply to join the expedition to the Magnetic North Pole, which was apparent not only in the initial promotion but also in the design of the outfits supplied on the trip – made for the convenience of males! Could you talk about using that outrage as a motivator?

Outrage in the sense of ‘That’s not right!’ links in with my point about authenticity, being true to your values, true to what matters. I love the word ‘passion’. I think we can use passion to good effect, for example to combat injustices.

A sense of outrage can help you become even more committed to action. We each have something to offer, and the assumptions underlying those words, ‘man enough’, and the male-oriented suits needed to be challenged!

Of course, men and women do have different perspectives; we need to communicate clearly with each other rather than just expect to have our point of view understood.

You’re known for taking a particular interest in supporting women’s enterprise. And you emphasise the importance of Emotional Intelligence in business, and the five features of EQ: self awareness, self regulation, empathy, motivation and social skills, some of which

interview by Caitlin Collins qualities seem to have become traditionally associated more with women than with men.

How do you perceive developments in terms of women coming forward in business and also in leadership roles?

Women are in the forefront of how our culture is developing, as is emotional intelligence.

Women bring their whole selves into business; that’s why so many leave the corporate world, where they can’t be themselves. For women, being themselves is more about being rather than doing. Traditionally, men have tended to be more interested in doing rather than being, and since it’s been so male-dominated the business world has been all about doing!

But you need to be able to choose what’s appropriate in a situation, and you need awareness to be able to do that. If you’re too busy doing, you can’t reflect, and you can’t be so flexible. In terms of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, society has moved up from fulfilling the basic survival levels; younger people, as well as women, are more aware of what they want psychologically and emotionally in their work-lives, and the old autocratic style is no longer appropriate.

What might be some of the possible implications of these developments for society and for the planet?

Women are coming forward as drivers for change. As they gain more financial power, step into leadership, and take up more decisionmaking roles, so there will be changes in our society. Regarding the bigger picture of the planet, there is already evidence of changes in social enterprises. Women want to make a difference, to do good in the world as well as making money. It will become the norm for more attention to be paid to the environment, to people, and to values.

What particular thoughts would you like to leave with our readers today?

I’d like to invite readers to reflect on how they are role models to others in their lives, how they inspire others, and how they express their own authenticity.

For more information and to buy Sue Stockdale’s books, Kickstart Your Motivation and Secrets of Successful Women Entrepreneurs, please visit www.suestockdale.com or telephone 01367 244855

rapport - Winter 2007

| 45

PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT

Write and They Will Listen

by Mindy Gibbins-Klein used effectively in books and articles as well. It’s no secret that one of my favourite authors is marketing guru Seth Godin. I love the in-yourface, direct style he uses. It feels like he’s in my living room talking to me one on one. It seems from his book sales that others also respond to that style. And it happens to be the way I prefer to write, in case you hadn’t noticed!

A

business colleague said something astounding the other day. He said he would rather speak to an audience of ten people than write for an audience of a thousand. I thought that sounded a bit strange, so I challenged him on it. It turned out that he had written an article for a magazine with a good circulation, but he hadn’t had any feedback at all from it. He felt he had spent his time crafting a wonderful, informative piece that no one appreciated. He also felt that if that message had been delivered in person, he could have seen the response from people immediately, in their eyes and their body language.

It’s true, what my colleague said, so how can we justify putting time into writing when we don’t get feedback? That, my friend, is the nature of writing. Sometimes you get to find out what your readers think of your material, and many times you don’t. It’s my view that we have to be OK with the fact that writing is one-way until we get a response, and we must continue to put good material into the market.

There are some excellent guidelines for oneway communication that I have seen business experts use to their advantage. Here are my favourites: 1. Keep your outcome in mind at all times.

Hone your message according to what you have to say as well as what your reader needs to hear and decide what kind of information you are imparting. For example, if you need to teach people with your writing, you may choose a different style from writing which aims to influence or persuade. Make whatever you write clear.

Deliver your message as passionately and authentically as if you were speaking

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Winter 2007 - rapport

2. Deliver your message as passionately and authentically as if you were speaking.

I prefer to see writing as an extension of speaking, and in fact, for people who will not get the opportunity to hear you in person or even on the phone, your writing must do the same job. It has become very trendy to write conversationally, spurred on by the advent of blogging and newsletters. That style can be

3. Get feedback. That may sound like it contradicts what I said earlier. Actually, there are some clever mechanisms to get people interacting with you, even though you are not there. You can get them to go to a web page and complete a survey – with or without an incentive. You can put an email address at the bottom of the piece, asking for comments – again, with or without an incentive. This can work equally well for books. I get a lot of clients excitedly planning to include CDs with their books, until I show them how they can still give away free CDs and capture people contact details and feedback at the same time.

Never include bonuses with your book when you could engage with readers and get some indication of how many people read it and liked it at the same time.

That’s plenty for you to be getting on with. If you know your subject and deliver your message well, if you write powerfully and authentically, they will listen. And they may even respond. Let me know all about your success by writing to me at mindy@ bookmidwife. com – I offer lots of fabulous bonuses for my readers.

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REGIONAL GROUPS

rapport networking contact Evolution Practice Group, Chichester Practice Group of the month

Roger and Emily Terry of Evolution Practice Group Chichester

T

he Evolution Practice group has been running for over 3 years and was set up by Roger and Emily Terry, both Master NLP Trainers, who welcome anyone with an interest in NLP. No experience needed, just come along and find out about NLP. We always have experienced Practitioners and Master Practitioners who are happy to guide those less experienced through the practice exercises.

The aim of the group is to practice NLP, extend our skills and learn new things. We meet on the last Tuesday of the month at 7:15pm, finishing around 9:30, at the Evolution Training Centre near Chichester. Over the year we cover a variety of NLP topics from the basics that we all benefit from reviewing, to new developments or experimental approaches. The evenings are relaxed, fun and intended to be more practical than theoretical, giving plenty of

opportunity to practice your skills, meet friends and other NLP enthusiasts from the area to network and make new contacts.

We also invite members to present their innovations in NLP and have visiting presenters from the UK and USA. There are tasters of new developments in personal evolution or an introduction to subjects such as the Enneagram, advanced kinesiology and energy work. In July the group went on a trip to Lasham airfield in Hampshire and spent the evening learning gliding with one of the group members. This was a chance for members to practice modelling, confront fears and to have a great experience to anchor for the future; plans are now afoot for a Fire Walk. Come along and join us a warm welcome awaits you.

Call 01243 792122 or send your details to info@evolutiontraining.co.uk to be put on our monthly practice group email.

England - North

Manchester NLP Group

Chiswick

London - Central

Harrogate Achievers Club

Tel: 08707 570292

Tel: 0208 992 9523

Tel: 0870 7744 321

Gary Plunkett

Sonia Marie Saxton

Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk www.nwnlpgroups@aol.com

Email: smesaxton@saxtonpartners. co.uk

Newcastle Upon Tyne

Harrogate Practice Group

Tel: 0191 456 3930 Mob: 0777 228 1035

Tel: 0845 257 0036

Elizabeth Pritchard

Tel: 01326 212 959

Email: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com

Lancaster Practice Group

Philip Brown

North West & North Wales (Chester)

Lancs - Nr Clitheroe

Tel: 08707 570 292

Tel: 01254 824 504

Email: admin@nlpand.co.uk www.nlpand.co.uk

Leeds - West Yorkshire Liz Tolchard

Tel: 01943 873 895 Mob: 07909 911 769

Email: liztolchard@hotmail.com

Manchester Business NLP and Emotional Intelligence Group Andy Smith

Tel: 0845 83 855 83

Email: andy@practicaleq.com www.manchesternlp.co.uk

48 |

Winter 2007 - rapport

Tel: 020 8686 9952

Tel: 07970 639552 Mob: 07970 639552

Hants - NLP South

Email: dave@depthfour.com www.depthfour.com

Gary Plunkett

Email: enrol@high-achievers.co.uk www.nlp4fun@aol.com

York

Susanna Bellini & Philip Callaghan

Tel: 01904 636 216 Email: info@bronze-dragon.com www.bronze-dragon.com/nlp_group. shtml

England - South Bedfordshire

Nigel Heath

Tel: 01794 390 651

Email: heatherapy@aol.com www.nlp-south.org.uk

Hertfordshire - NLP & Hypnosis Practice group Gary Sellors

Tel: 07758 303 039

Email: nlpgary@talktalk.net www.thesoundofmyvoice.co.uk

Hertfordshire

Your Life Matters NLP & Hypnosis practice group Mick McEvoy Tel: 0208 387 0277 Mob: 07973 386 639

Email: mick.mcevoy1@ntlworld.com

Melody and Joe Cheal

London - Hampstead

Email: info@gwiztrainig.com www.gwiztraining.com

Tel: 020 8926 1297 mob: 07950477318

Tel: 01767 640956

Email: info@ppdlearning.co.uk www.ppdlearning.co.uk/community/ourpractice-group

London - Central

Michael Carroll

Tel: 01642 714702

Lisa & Mark Wake

Judy Delaforce

Croydon

North Yorkshire

Dave Allaway

Dawn Haworth

Email: Jonathan@performancepartnership.com www.performancepartnership.com

Email: info@realnlp.co.uk www.nlpacademy.co.uk

Email: Awakenconsulting@aol.com www.awakenconsulting.co.uk

Tel: 01524 847 070

Jonathan Bowder

Najma Zaman

Email: firstpath@btinternet.com

Adrian Hope-Lewis

www.nlpgroup.freeserve.co.uk

London - Central (Business) Mark Underwood

Tel: 020 7249 7472

London - Central/North

Practitioners and above only Jeremy Lazarus Tel: 020 8349 2929

Email: Jeremy@thelazarus.com www.thelazarus.com

London East - Stratford, E15 Sharon Eden

Tel: 020 8597 9200

Email: sharon.eden@womenofcourage. co.uk

London NLP & Hypnosis Practice Group Phillip Holt

Tel: 08451 306213 Mob: 07061 003 003

Email: enquiries@nlp-london.com www.nlp-london.com

REGIONAL GROUPS London NW - SeeHearFeel NLP

Colchester NLP Group

Dorset

Tel: 020 8958 5345 www.SeeHearFeelNLP.co.uk/

Tel: 01473 326980 Mob: 07710 781782 / 07710 781782

Tel: 01202 42 42 50

Rob

London West - Richmond NLP Group Henrietta Laitt

Tel: 0208 874 8203 Mob: 07880 614 040

Julian Campbell

Email: nlp@lifechangingtherapies.co.uk www.lifechangingtherapies.co.uk/ colnlp.html

Essex - Southend Pauline Oliver

Email: henrietta@richmondnlpgroup. org.uk www.richmondnlpgroup.org.uk

Tel: 01702 203465

North London NLP

Tel: 01603 211 961

Tom MacKay

Tel: 07815 879 055

Norfolk NLP Practice Group Stephen Ferrey

Email: info@motivational-coaching.co.uk www.motivational-coaching.co.uk

Email: tom@mackaysolutions.co.uk www.northlondonnlp.co.uk

Ipswich

Oxford

Tel: 07889 751578

Jan Freeston

Tel: 01865 516 136

Email: Janinefreeston@aol.com

South East London & City Simon Hedley

Tel: 07930 275 223

Email: londonpractice@psithinking. co.uk www.psithinking.co.uk/londonnlp practicegroup.htm www.nlpswap.com/

Sussex - Brighton

Steve Marsden

Email: steve_marsden@btopenworld. com

Redbridge - Ilford Sharon Ellis

Tel: 020 8098 0820

John Chisholm or Brian Morton

Email: john@creative-leadership.co.uk bmhrd@btinternet.com www.nlpdorset.co.uk

Swindon, West Country Tony Nutley

Glasgow Centre of Excellence Practice Group

The Derby NLP Practice Group Karl Walkinshaw

Tel: 07971 654 440

Email: karl@k-d-w.co.uk

East Midlands NLP Group William Wood

Tel: 01332 347141 x2556/ 01332 669364

Email: jeff@nlpscotland.com www.nlpscotland.com

England - West

Shropshire & Mid Wales Practice Group

BATH NLP North East Somerset

Northants - Northampton

Nottingham

Timothy Morrell

Tel: 01823 334 080

Tel: 07810 484 215

Sussex - Brighton

Email: benjamino_32@hotmail.com www.idevelop.co.uk

Email: tim@focushigher.co.uk www.focushigher.co.uk

Tel:01903 821 172 Mob: 07903 564 760 Email: katie@sussex.co.uk www.sussex.co.uk/nlp

Bristol

West Midlands Worcestershire

David Griffiths

Tel: 01179 423 310

Email: david@metamorphosis.me.uk

Cornwall Practice Group

Tel: 01243 792 122 Mob: 07810 876 210

Elizabeth Pritchard

Email: info@evolutiontraining.co.uk www.evolutiontraining.co.uk

Email: elizabeth@zeteticmind.com www.zeteticmind.com

Sussex - Worthing

Email: jim@espconsultancy.co.uk

Devon - South-West (totnes) NLP Support Group

West Sussex - Chichester

Tel: 01803 866706/01803 323885

Email: phil@excitant.co.uk www.cambsnlp.co.uk

Tel: 0870 060 1549/0141 248 6484

Email: mandy.ward3@virgin.net

Ben Reeve

Tel: 07711 711 123

Jeff Goodwin

Wales

Bath NLP Skills Builder

Phil Jones

Glasgow - NLP in Education

Tel: 0121 625 7193 Mob: 07740 075669

Mandy Ward

Email: enquiries@nlpworld.co.uk www.nlpworld.co.uk www.nlp-brighton-assoc.org

Cambridgeshire

Tel: 01316 647 854 Mob: 07710 332 841 Email: msnlp@btconnect.com

Midlands - Birmingham

Email: pr@in-focus.org www.bathnlp.co.uk

England - East

Michael Spence

Email: glenda.yearwood@redbridge. gov.uk www.redbridge.gov.uk

Email: ronald.sheffield@virgin.net www.nlpgroups.org

Email: andrew@23nlpeople.com www.nlpstudygroup.com

Mina McGuigan

England - Midlands

Tel: 01225 404 050

Andrew T. Austin

Glasgow

Email: mina@nlpacademyscotland.co.uk www.nlpacademyscotland.co.uk

Tel: 01604 812800

Roger and Emily Terry

Email: nlphighland@onyxnet.co.uk www.nlphighland.co.uk

Email: info@ukcpd.net www.ukcpd.net

Philippe Roy

Sussex - Chichester

Tel: 01309 676004

Tel: 01236 610 949 Mob: 07916 275 605

Association of NLP Practitioners Terry Elston

Katie Bickerdike

Rosie O’ Hara

01793 554834

Ron Sheffield

Tel: 0800 074 6425

Forres/Elgin NLP Practice Group (North of Scotland)

Tel: 01326 212 959

Alice Llewellyn & Anna Scott-Heyward

Devon - Torquay Chris Williams

Tel: 0781 354 9073

Devon & Cornwall NLP Practice Group Nick Evans

Tel: 01752 245 570 Mob: 07832 357 208

Nick Greer

Tel: 01743 361133

Email: nlpgroup@nickgreer.com

www.nickgreer.com

Sharon Rooke & David Smallwood

Tel:01905 352 882

Email: sharon@SCRassociates.com info@centralnlp.co.uk www.SCRassociates.com

Scotland Edinburgh Centre of Excellence Practice Group Michael Spence

Tel: 0131 664 7854

Email: msnlp@btconnect.com

Edinburgh NLP Practice Group

Patrick Wheatley & Sheena Wheatley Tel: 07765244030/ 0131 664 4344

Email: wheatley.co@btconnect.com sheena@changingperceptions.org.uk www.changingperceptions.org.uk

Email: nick@nlp-southwest.co.uk www.nlp-southwest.co.uk

Practice Groups meet regularly and give you the chance to share experiences with like minded individuals and fellow professionals.

They also offer you the opportunity to further your knowledge and add to your Continual Professional Development (CPD) through informed lectures and workshops.

For further information on the Practice Groups listed, please log on to our website, www.anlp.org If you would like to add your Practice Group to this list or change existing details, please contact Lala on 020 8275 1175 or email members@anlp.org.

rapport - Winter 2007

| 49

ENDNOTE

The truth will defend itself?

Terri Ann Laws

O

r so they say, and I’ve been pondering on the meaning of it lately.

Hmmm, now let me think ….

Most people will only lie when they feel it is necessary, when they think they had better lie or face unwanted consequences, or cause others unwanted consequences.

The noble, honourable person would rather sacrifice themselves and their values and tell blatant lies on purpose than cause some nasty thing to happen to an innocent – which might be the consequence of telling the wrong person the truth. It can be a very honourable thing to lie.

Only another person can compel one to lie. Why would anyone lie? Someone has to set up the circumstances where the lie has to happen, or it wouldn’t happen.

Perhaps one would lie because the person they are telling the lie to does not deserve the truth.

By that I mean that the person cannot be trusted to act in a fair, understanding or honourable way if they were told the truth. In fact, if you are dealing with a person who is likely and willing to inflict some heavy consequences on you then you’d be a complete fool to tell that person the truth.

So who is the sinner then, who is the guilty one? The one who lies or the one who causes the lie to happen?

In our society, the cause is often far removed from the effect. The cause of the liar can be decades apart, a generation away or several events away. A child raised in

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Winter 2007 - rapport

a critical; emotionally abusive household can have learned to lie, cheat and blackmail from parents who did it as a matter of course and so they’ll know no different. Such a person will lie for reasons of their own ego, greed or trickiness and the cause will not lie in the one they lie to.

This is where it all gets very tricky and sticky. If I want to get the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, then what can I do? A few things come to mind.

Firstly, I need to make sure that I do not inflict consequences of any sort on people. If I am in the habit of inflicting nasty consequences on people then anyone who knows me will be very careful to tell me only safe words to save their own skin.

Consequences include tears, feeling victimised, sulking, anger, retaliation, revenge, withdrawal of trust or any consequences, subtle or obtuse.

I need to take it upon myself to examine my own motives and make sure I actually want the real truth even if it hurts. I have to think about what I’ll do if the truth hurts or shocks me, and none of my choices of response must punish the person who told me the truth. I need to have enough integrity not to shoot the

messenger directly or indirectly.

Then I need to examine the character of the person I’m asking the truth from. This is an important step. If the person is known to lie and has other bad faults of character, then I’d be silly to ask that person because I couldn’t trust any answer coming from them.

Then I need to examine the likely outcome. If the truth was one way, what would that lead to and if the truth was another way, what would that lead to? If I’m prepared for any answer, then it is easier to mean it when I ask for the truth. If I’m strongly biased towards one truth and averse to

I need to take it upon myself to examine my own heart and motives and make sure I actually want the real truth even if it hurts hearing the opposite, that will taint my chances. The speaker of truth will be tracking my voice tone, and facial expressions to check if it is safe to go on at each step, and their confidence in me depends on my state. If I invoke fear in them, they’ll need to lie to me.

A different but important point – who has the right to ask any questions anyway? No one has the right to ask answers of anyone else, but we always assume the

right. Remember the age old saying, “Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies”. We have the audacity to ask questions and the further audacity to expect replies and even bigger audacity to expect the truth.

A huge cost is brought to bear on friendships and relationships over this truth / lie thing. Once you have forced your friend to lie or to colour the truth, you have damaged the friendship. If the friend is a shallow person, then you’ll not have damaged the friendship, but if the friend is a very honourable, sincere person, then they will not feel comfortable with you anymore, because of the terrible incongruence they feel at having had to lie to you.

It gets even more complicated ….. what is the truth? Each person has their own unique map of the world, and what one person sees is not always what someone else sees. This has always frustrated the police how eye witnesses of the same crash or crime have very different accounts of what happened, each witness absolutely sure they are right and the others are blind or confused.

We build up our hopes, plans and dreams on what other people tell us, so until we make ourselves worthy of the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, we will forever run into these people, and we’ll blame them without ever realising our own actions found the hidden demon in them. Worrying thought that. Hhmmmmm what does it all mean?

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