Living Fear-Free

Everyone should be able to live without fear for their wellbeing or life, and, certainly, everyone who has suffered at the hands of another should never have to worry about them again. However, this is simply not the case. Our incredibly brave OM Rhianon Bragg (PR 1988-90) has decided to open up about the horrors she went through and continues to go through since, once out of prison, abusers can move back to the area where their victim lives.

It was 22nd April 2019. The time approaching 9am. I sat in my car outside the police station anxiously waiting for it to open. I had had enough. He had gone too far. Scrolling through my phone, trying to distract myself, I read the headline of the local paper, ‘Five women killed by men they’d previously reported to police in North Wales in a three-year period’. Domestic abuse was reported to the Criminal Justice System (CJS), but not enough was done to protect these victims from known threats. Little did I know how close to their tragedies my own life was soon to come. Giving that first statement that morning, the officer told me it was harassment, menacing behaviour, coercive control, offences committed throughout the relationship, the list went on. I had no idea I had become used to his abuse and had normalised it.

When I ended the relationship a few weeks previously, I asked him to leave me alone. He ignored my request and instead stalked and threatened me. Having been arrested three times in the following three weeks, the matter went to the CPS, who decided it was a no-further-action case. As a license holder, his guns, confiscated during the investigation, were returned to him again.

CCTV

Rhainon remembers clearly the first police officer who saw these images saying, ‘It’s a good quality camera. You can see your emotion, see that you’re terrified, and you can see his finger on the trigger.’ Rhianon Bragg

The end of an abusive relationship is one of the most dangerous times for victims. Over the following months, I reported his continuous stalking, and I had CCTV installed, despite being told I wouldn’t need it. I kept telling the police that it was getting worse. Their response? He hadn’t done enough and they would take no action. I was left to suffer whatever was coming. It came.

Arriving home late one August evening, he ambushed me. Furious, he refused to lower the shotgun he had at my chest. He was threatening to kill me. That was the start of this part of the ordeal. When he was later interviewed by police, he denied having a gun with him. Without the CCTV footage, his word against the victim’s would have been good enough for the matter to be dropped. I found out that I wasn’t his first victim. The police told me they had believed the others, but their evidence simply wasn’t good enough. The onus is on the victim to prove what took place, the perpetrator being able to deny with a word. He is currently serving sentences for false imprisonment, threat to kill, possession of a firearm with intent, stalking and possession of a sawn-off shotgun. He need only serve three years before parole consideration. As things stand, he would be allowed to return to our local area, whereupon we will become the prisoners. I appreciate that for the majority of crimes, rehabilitation with the support of friends and family lessens future offending. This is often not the case for domestic abuse. Perpetrators returning to the area of offence frequently continue the abuse. Re-offending rates for stalking are high, victims’ lives are ruined, and, as we read all too frequently, deaths result. So why is this still being allowed? It’s generally not understood how impactive being stalked is; living your life fear-free is impossible. The damage it has caused to my family is immeasurable, the length of time it may take to heal unknown. With my experience, I have realised the chasm between justice and the law. Being a domestic abuse victim within the CJS keeps you in a high state of stress. At times I have had to remind myself that I am the victim when I haven’t been listened to or my concerns have not been taken seriously. I have been talked down to, dismissed and disrespected, often unsupported and ill informed.

I feel as much a victim of the CJS as I am of abuse. Support services for victims are disjointed, usually charitably funded, and provision is not good enough. Don’t misunderstand, I have met professionals trying their best, and throughout this time many have shared that they are unable to provide the level of service needed by victims. There is a lot of room for improvement. Change is happening: the appointment of the Domestic Abuse Commissioner, changes in law and a slow realisation that this situation is not acceptable. Without change it’s not just time and money, but tragically lives that are being unnecessarily wasted.

‘The damage it has caused to my family is immeasurable, the length of time it may take to heal unknown.’

My time at Marlborough gave me confidence and ability, which has helped me to survive. Principles to not accept wrongdoing, to be critically constructive, and a desire to make change for the better. The support I’ve received from the lifelong friends made at Marlborough – the calls, the messages, the visits, the introductions – have all been so valuable. I know I wouldn’t have got this far without them. The Master’s introduction in a recent Together resonated with me. ‘Our vision is that every pupil in this school, whatever their means or ability, will effect positive change upon the lives of others and, in so doing, will greatly enrich their own lives.’ Trying to affect change is draining, however, motivation is high. Shouldn’t victims be allowed to live fear-free? When I have felt exhausted, I bolster myself, remembering that I’m battling not just for me, but for those victims who do not have a voice. Sharing my experience is not easy, but I hope it will enable learning and change to prevent others suffering what I have. If, as OMs, we should make a positive difference to society, then I feel in this situation I am doing my best. Sadly, it is likely that you are or will know someone who has or is suffering from domestic abuse. As such we are all involved. So, I appeal now to the OM community, to think about what you can do to be proactive and to help with this quest to move change forward. It. Will. Save. Lives.

Personally, I aim to campaign for the introduction of a minimum restraining order for stalking so that longevity and geographic area allow victims to live freely and not become the prisoner when the offender is released.

Living fear-free is something most are fortunate enough to take for granted – it should be for all.

If you can offer support to Rhianon or have suffered the same way and want to help, please email her on rhianonbragg@aol.com If you are needing support, please visit these websites

www.refuge.org.uk www.womensaid.org.uk www.SUTDA.org