RAW Special Edition: Glimpse

raw

special edition

glimpse

glimpse Special Edition Issue 1

illustration | mirae lee design | amy wang

raw

Copyright © 2016 Mirae Lee & Amy Wang All rights reserved.

raw

adjective | /rĂ´/ 1. Honest, vulnerable, natural.

2. Not having undergone processes of manufacture.

3. Painfully exposed, as a sore or a wound.

RAW is a zine of real, unfiltered stories and thoughts. This is us, beneath the walls and the ruckus of a socially constructed mask. These are ordinary experiences — ones that you and I all go through. We share not to impose, but to reflect and connect. We hope that as you make your way through these pages, you find parts of yourself, a little something that resonates with your own story.

introduction Welcome to the sister project of RAW Zine. This is an extension of everything that our zine represents: documenting the human experience and expressing our unfiltered thoughts, but designed to allow ourselves the freedom to explore more creative outlets, as well as bring more voices into the project.

Three months ago, we released a call for submissions for our first special edition issue. We invited strangers to share their secrets with us. They could be silly, hopeful, heartbreaking, provocative — anything, as long as they were true. All submissions made were completely anonymous.

Each confession came with a brief self-description, which we then used to create portraits from our interpretations of their personalities.

This is a peek into the worlds of 15 lives. 15 secrets.

This is Glimpse.

To each and every person who submitted a secret: we really appreciate your courage. Opening up isn’t easy.

We couldn’t have done this without you. Thank you.

Confession 1

I have a lot of expectations from friends and family, who think I’m smart and happy.

I don’t know how to tell them I’m neither.

I like to escape my life by living in the shoes of others. I’m alright with people in moderation, and most days I prefer spending time by myself with fan fiction or video games. I’m an Asian girl but I sometimes wish I wasn’t. Internalized self-hatred? Maybe a little.

stella

Confession 2

I always wonder if my existence is just a combination of chemical and electrical signals produced by some neurons in a puddle of solution.

k

A cat that questions everything. Dark. Full of doubts.

Who can prove that they themselves are real anyway?

Confession 3

My mother has bulimia and I don’t know how to help her.

olive

I am a family oriented person who really likes to laugh.

Confession 4

Even when I’m in a stable relationship, I can’t help but to flirt. I would never hurt my partner, but this feels more harmless than disloyal.

maria I am a workaholic. I am inde-

pendent and work best in the middle of the night, under pressure, alone. I am stubborn and act on principle when I fiercely believe in something, sometimes indifferent to the consequences or to who I might hurt if they are on the wrong side. I wear black and like hip hop.

Confession 5

I have gotten double-eyelid surgery done — only my best friend from Korea and my family know... until now.

samantha

Once upon a time, there was a little Asian girl that was slightly chubby, shy, and insecure. However, after she got her double-eyelid surgery she blossomed into a new person — more outgoing, more loving, more free to be

herself. She

was

no

longer

insecure

and

loved

herself

completely.

Confession 6

I still freeze up everytime I see or hear about the girl I first ever fell in love with.

Very blue.

Lifeless but not depressed.

Probably just tired.

rocket

Confession 7

As a youth, I was sexually assaulted for eight years.

His comments about my breasts growing still make me flinch.

Due to various childhood trauma, I now have longterm depression, obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD), PTSD, and anxiety.

I wish I could be more normal.

alice Withdrawn,

different, relatively smart, tough, weak, psychic/intuitive, dreamer, cat lover.

Confession 8

I think telling someone to be strong is such a cruel thing: nobody wants to be strong, but society isn’t giving us a choice not to be.

karlie

Karlie is creative, outgoing, and seems strong and independent. She hides away her insecurities with humour. If she were a cartoon character, she’d be wearing a yellow-coloured roundneck t-shirt with some denim overalls and white sneakers.

Confession 9

There is nothing in the future I look forward to.

Malfunctioning robot way

sweg past expected expiry date with human skin.

Confession 10

I drank my roommate’s Pure Life iced tea while he was away.

I’m a roommate.

malcolm

Confession 11

I’m so glad Pokemon Go has finally liberated us for now there is a reason to go outside and be in the community.

What a revolution in fun.

Thank heavens programmers were able to gamify existing on Earth.

A time-traveller from the 1990s. Looking for the first real person who isn’t caught up in the consumerist world of cancerous social media and socially debilitating gadget addiction.

LLLLL

On the elevator.

Someone else steps on, they’re going up 5 floors. Time to check their phone.

Always checking.

Always scrolling.

No time to live.

Confession 12

My closest friends are some pretty insensitive shits.

They use the “fuck what others think� mindset all the time and it drives me insane.

I love people. I’d go to the moon and back for a lot of them.

My dreams of tattoos all over my skinny body

and

oloured

multic-

long

hair

will not be realized in this lifetime. For now I stick with black hair and virgin skin.

One day, I shall literally go to the moon and back for my friends.

eddy

Confession 13

I’ve told many people that I’ve had sex before but it’s all a lie because I feel shameful that I’ve never done it yet.

v.gin

I probably have bipolar disorder. I think I’m pretty good looking but I’ve never been in a relationship.

Maybe I’m intimidating or oblivious.

I feel like we live in a society where being a virgin is shameful. That’s why I’ve been telling lies. I’m afraid to have sex. I’m afraid to be a total embarrassment. I need to find someone who will understand and respect me. I haven’t found that person yet, I guess.

Confession 14

I wake up everyday with a renewed sense of hope because I finally met the love of my life.

For a tiny meatball I’m incredibly outspoken. I love feeling like I’m on vacation all the time, so I channel it through my style. People would describe me as funny, bitchy, sarcastic, (probably) the coolest person they’ve ever met. Then again, I don’t care much for what others think of me.

nina

Confession 15

I hate pizza.

teen

The embodiment of a rainy day.

Chase your dreamssss

spicy

amy

Amy Wang is a writer and photographer.

Formerly

studying English literature, she is now pursuing a path where she can spend the rest of her life creating.

She has an affinity for haikus, and believes with

that

living

presence

is

the most important thing we can do.

mirae Mirae Lee is currently an undergraduate art history and sociocultural

anthropology

student at the University of Toronto.

She’s on a lifelong journey of negotiating her hyphenated identity, and believes

there’s

beauty even in the

mundane.

website rawzine.ca instagram @rawzine

email

rawzinetoronto@gmail.com