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AprilandDecember
AprilandDemcember Christian Life 365 Published Using
Issuu.com
Publishing Rights
From the Desk Š Publishing Rose.studio6@yahoo.com President
Rosanna Christopher rchristopher@circleofbelievers .com
Editor
Rosanna Christopher
August 2012
Contributing Writers
McKenzie Parker-Lewis Ann Christopher George Christopher
Account Executives
Rosanna Christopher Ann Christopher
Coming next month‌ The Finance Issue
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Credits Image Credits:
The About Bar:
Cover Image: 123rf.com Intro Images (from top to bottom) Istockimages.com; visboo.com Departments “Woman silhouette” from gallerynucleaus.com: “Broken friendship” from budakecik.com Focus on Living “Father and Daughter silhouette from images.inmagine.com Tools for living “Four Friends to avoid”: Cityscape Background from istockphotos.com; Fashion Illustration from luxegifts.com
Ann Christopher for Answers from Ann: Ann Christopher who’s maiden name is Owens is married to Pastor George Christopher of Rossville GA. She is the first lady of Midway Independent Christian church and is also the creative talent behind “Divine Manna”, and also a contributing writer for “Tools for living”.
Answers from Ann Female with glasses clipart from Clipartof.com Bright White from top to bottom, left to right): Sunglasses from Buckle.com; Dress from Gap.com; Serving Tray from worldmarket.com; Shower Spray form methodhome.com The tie that binds broken rope from mlcwiderangle.exbdblog.com; bridal silhouette from musthavemenus.com; sitting woman silhouette from cdn.bellanaija.com Ask Ann question mark from sodahead.com Copy and paste all images sited in article
Wylea Miller for Sister’s Sweets: Wylea is a college student who also works at a preschool in Ringgold Ga. She is a sales associate at Cato Fashions in Fort Oglethorpe and is a partner in the Sister’s Sweets Bakery business. She attends Life Restoration in Ft. Oglethorpe and is a supporter of Studio6Network.
The name is… Mali Music photo beesuarzi.com Around the Web “relationship graph” from thumbs.gograph.com Out and About air plane from clicker.com; theater masks and movie tickets from 123rf.com Cymbalta® and RV Ads from Country Living © Hearst Communications Inc.
April 2012 Cymbalta® is not a sponsor or a paid advertisement
McKenzie Parker- Lewis for “The tie that binds”: A mother of two and Married to a teacher, McKenzie is a LPN at Cooper Green Hospital in Birmingham AL. She is a faithful member of the Love Temple Full Gospel Church. This is her first publication.
AprilandDecember.com © August 2012. Created at From the Desk Creations™; Wallaceville Road Chickamauga, Ga. Direct all inquires to rose.studio6@yahoo.com. All the information herein has been checked for accuracy. No responsibility is accepted for deletions, omissions, errors and/or inaccuracies. Publisher reserves the right o place any ad on first come first serve basis. No materials contained herein may be reproduced without the exclusive written permission of the original creator of the material. All information, images or references contained has been acquired by permission or general search and is cited, noted or referenced as required by source. Copyright 2011 by From the Desk Creations ™. Created in the U.S.A
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-A letter from the e-Editor: Start at the beginning As we near fall I rejoice in one thing only…the upcoming wedding anniversary of my parents. This year makes thirty-six years. There have been tears and laughs, arguments and disagreements. There have been moments where they were a united front and other times life threatened to knock them both down. But through it all, they had one thing in common. Not me… but God. I have often wondered what their private prayers were. I know they prayed for each other and for their entire family. Being a minister and a ministers wife is no easy feet. But they prove time and time again, year after year that God can conquer all things through love…even when they made each other miserable! The greatest thing my parents taught me was that your relationship with God was and is the most important relationship I would ever had. As time has gone on many birthdays have passes and Gods love and faithfulness still amaze me. To know the love of God and have the friendship and brotherhood of Christ is to know a love that can never fade, be broken or torn. As we approach this issue, I want us to consider the people God wants in our lives and the people we should be in other’s lives. My hope is that we will look at our fellowship with each other, our friends and family, those we love with fresh eyes and a heart of God. Let’s rediscover the foundation of love and the strong hold to every connection we have with those around us, those we know and have never met and understand that agape love is not only possible but through Christ it is real. -Rose
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Departments Feature Stories In Every Issue Single and Saved
Living Matters Focus on Living
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Tools for Living
8
POP: Relationships
pg. 24
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Word of Mouth Answers from Ann
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Who’s Counting
14
Words
15
Life and Style Bright White
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Copy and Paste
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The Tie That Binds Pg. 28
Penciled in Around the Web
30
Out and about
31
Spotlight
Over and Out Sweet Ending
32
The Inner Circle: Meet Sister’s Sweets 26
The name is: Mali Music 27
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Focus on Living: A Solid Foundation -R. Christopher
How you treat God is how you treat others! If you use God like a credit card, one of which you never pay on, you will use other people without regard to the affect it has on them. If you only talk to God when things go wrong, you will only seek out your ‘friends’ when you need petting, yet you never have time to listen to their ills.
The sound of that old hymn echoes in my mind, “On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand; all other ground is sinking sand.” I remember as a child having just learned the song, belting it out with pride. I had learned the whole song and was proud of it. But, I hadn’t yet experienced what the song spoke of!
Yep, you can learn a lot about a person’s faith by looking at their friendships, their marriages and how they are with their parents, significant others and children. The word of God tells us that there is no greater love than when someone lays down his life for his friend. Christ calls us friends and brothers. In Psalm 27:10 David proclaims “when my father and mother forsake me, then will the Lord take care of me.”
There are hundreds of studies that show that a relationship with your biological father makes you stronger, less apt to do drugs or abuse alcohol. They suggest children grow up happier and more fulfilled. While I have seen this work in ways that prove these studies, I have also seen the opposite results. The truth of the matter is your relationship with your father depends on the type of father you have. Many say women usually marry or date men like their father. They also say that boys usually grow up to be like their fathers, present or not. If you are like me and had a wonderful father, this information is good. But what if you didn’t have a loving father? What then?
We look to our fathers for advice, guidance, love, reassurance and approval. Shouldn’t we seek the same from our Heavenly Father? He longs for us to long for him so much that he won’t even sleep! He sets his angels in charge over us and keeps showering us with blessings and we can’t even give him four hours on Sunday?
There is hope for both the nurtured and not so nurtured child. We are all connected by one father. His name is God. He is the ultimate dad. When we are wrong he chastises us. When we stray from right, he leads us back to where we need to be if not a better place. When we are wrong he makes it right. When we cry, not one tear hits the ground unnoticed. He comforts us when no one else is there and shields us from dangers we can’t even see.
Take a moment to think about how you have treated God lately. Would he be a proud poppa or a father full of heartache? Have you talked to him today, listened for his voice, or paid him a visit in prayer? Have you read any of his word or bragged on him to someone? Our father is calling us. He wants to have a relationship with us. He is knocking and all we have to do is open up. Don’t’ wait until you are sinking in sand. Find the cornerstone of God now. Our Father is waiting.
I have generalized many studies by revered institutions throughout most of this article. But I can prove one by experience.
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~Living Matters~
God loves us so much more than we could ever hope to love him or ourselves. Yet, in spite of his constant effort to get our attention, we give him the least of our time, faithfulness and gratitude. We complain that there is not enough love in the world, when the one who made the world loves us so much he gave up his child for us.
We all
know them because there is
at least one in every circle of friends. There is all ways that person that leaves you asking “Why are we friends again?” Here are a few types of people you should avoid and some helpful tips for how to let the friendship down easy…Bible style!
negativity is affecting you.
It could be
that this person doesn’t even realize they are doing it.
If that person is unwilling to
at least try to be more positive around you, then suggest nicely that it may be a better idea if both of you just not hang
Proverbs 14:29: No one wants to be
out anymore.
around negative Nancy and nay saying Ned.
Proverbs 24:14: Meet Mr. and Mrs.
The service is always to slow, the
steak is cold and the waiter looked at
Me Too! If they can’t one up you, they are
them funny.
sure to at least match you.
Nothing is ever good enough!
Maybe these
There is no point in trying to find the ray
types of people mean well, thinking if they
of sunshine because this person will ball it
present you with a circumstance worse off
up, throw it on the ground and step on
than yours, you may feel better about the
it….all while complaining about how
shape you are in.
miserable it has made them to have to do
2 hour story about being stranded on the
it!!!
side of the road during a hurricane, does
If this is the case, their
little to make you feel like they give a
There is really only one effective
care about your useless and unreliable car!
and cordial way to way to either end or
Try dropping a hint, before you drop
even try to repair this kind of relationship. You’re going to have to talk to the person
this friend! When you start to tell them
about it.
something, start by saying “I know you will
Yes, bite the bit and tell them (in
want to give me advice and I appreciate it,
private please!) how their
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Proverbs 18:8: Loose lips sink more than wind blows through the trees in a wind
they make it successfully through, then
storm.
praise them profusely for being a “listening ear”.
They are usually fun to be around.
So fun that you get comfortable and say
They might find that they like it
better than giving others the one up.
They dissolve friendships faster than
some things you shouldn’t tell this
But,
particular person.
if they are attention seekers, the best thing
Next thing you know,
your name is being thrown around in the
to do is find someone else to talk too!
middle of a mellow drama.
Gossipers are
worthy of the same attention that the V.I.P’s get. Proverbs 14:30: The V.I.P is not easy to avoid when they are present.
(Okay so this is actually five but it gets an honorable mention.) Proverbs 16:24:
They
have more, do more and are more than
The yes friend is a bad friend to have.
you and they make sure you know it! The
They think that remaining neutral and
competition you get from a V.I.P is no
agreeing to and with everything, will keep
where near what you think you get from Mr. and Mrs. Me Too.
them out of the middle of drama.
It is hard to be
Actually,
it hurts friendships when truth comes out in
friends with someone who constantly
the usual heated argument type of way or
belittles you and treats you like the under
word of mouth.
achiever or underdog. The best thing to do
We often think the best
friend is the one who beckons to your
is cut all ties with this person and fast. There really is no talking to a V.I.P.
Shut your lips and run!
every wine and woe.
Just
Actually it’s the one
who is willing to lovingly hurt your feelings
don’t answer, don’t talk to and definitely
and tell you the truth with your best
don’t see.
interest in mind. If you’re not able to guard your words, you may want to seek advice and counsel from other friends.
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~Living Matters~
ships.
but I really just need someone to listen.” If
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. -Genesis 2:24
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. -Ephesians 4:31-32
“The language of friendship is not words, but meanings. It is intelligence above language.” -Taken from Leaves of Gold
-Wilbert Donald Gough
Lord, help us to strengthen our most important relationship. That is the one we have with you. We know that our love for you is the foundation of our love for ourselves and other. By learning from the example of perfect love set by your darling son Jesus, we will have the blueprint of how to treat others and those that we love. Amen.
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~Living Matters~
“In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person.”
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Answers from Ann! Let’s talk the top reasons for divorce, friendship complications and teenage children Dear Ann: My finance` and I are about to get married in a month. We have checked off almost everything except marriage counseling. We feel like our relationship is solid but we have both had serious issues in past relationships such as abuse and cheating. How do we keep our old issues from rearing their ugly heads in our marriage as they have in our dating?
Lastly, find a good Christian counselor. It’s perfectly okay to see a counselor before the wedding and even after regardless of whether there are problems in your marriage or not. It is always a good idea to learn new ways of communicating and a counselor can be a great tool to do that. I wish you all of the luck in the world. As a wife of 36 years I can tell you with certainty that a marriage is less about what you make it and more about what God makes it.
-Seriously Anxious, Pittsburg PA Dear Seriously Anxious: First of all lets tackle the concern that your issues my come up again. If you say your relationship is solid, you can’t end with “but stuff still comes up.” You have two of the major issues for divorce against you already. First know that when BOTH of you are committed to making changes, you have to re-evaluate your individual relationships with God. You can’t be good partners if you are not good Children of God. This doesn’t mean that you ought to strive to be perfect. It means that you strive to seek God in all things and I do mean ALL! You have to be able to ask freely for guidance and advice and then be able to tell when you is answering you. This takes daily focus and meditation.
Dear Ann: I am a single mother of 2 teenagers. I have one girl of 14 and one boy of 15. While overall they are good children, the teens are coming out of them! They are at that stage where they want to argue about everything I tell them to do. How am I gonna make it through all of this? I need advice! -Had it up to here, Atlanta Ga Dear Had it up to here: First I need you to take a breath. No, seriously. Stop and breathe for exactly a minute. This is just enough time for the mother in you to relax and the woman in you to calm down. As parents, I think we go off of emotion as soon as our children reach 13! It is harder to be a teen now then it was just 10 years ago!
Secondly, you need to have conversations and a lot of them before you say I Do. You need to discuss how those previous issues hurt you and how you expect different form this relationship and then, end it there. Don’t bring up the past ever again. Once you have expressed your past pain and regret, it’s time to move on. The other conversations you need to have are about roles in the home and relationship, such as who will be take the lead on faith and family activities. You also need to discuss the division of funds and finances. Who is responsible for making sure things get paid and what those things are. Next you need to talk about faith. How will you as a couple seek God? How will you raise your children to come? Those are issues that need to be sorted out immediately.
The first thing I need to tell you is that they are doing what teens do. They push the envelope and boundaries and all of the sudden they know best. So if they are doing what teens do the obvious is to do what a parent does. Parents nurture! They know right from wrong they just don’t know how to apply it yet. When you tell them what you want them to do and they combat you, ask them why they think you shouldn’t ask them to do it. More than likely there won’t have a good answer. Now your response to that silence would be, “Go ahead and do what I asked and we will talk about it later.” This phrase shows that you are still the boss and still in charge, but you are willing to let them voice their opinion. This doesn’t mean
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that they get to convince you that they are too old to do what they are told, but it helps them to rationalize responsibility. They begin to understand that they need to think about things in a new respect. They are not little anymore. When they were, you told them what to do to teach them. Now you tell them what to do because they are old enough to handle the responsibility. This way they will understand that you do care about how they are growing and you care about how they feel, but they still have to do what momma said!
If you really want to get to the bottom of it, send her a message on Facebook. You can send one even if you are not friends with her. Just go to her profile and at the top right hand corner you can add friend or message. If you haven’t liked stats form a person Facebook auto deletes. Since this is a possibility, a message would be better suited than an additional request. Tell her that you miss hearing from her and that your baby is here and you can’t wait for her to meet him. Tell her to give you a call. If she responds great if not don’t fret it. I know you said you have been friends with this person since grade school, but sometimes a place and time are the only things that hold two people together. Sometimes, well many times, people that we thought would always be there are no longer in the play of our life. When it is time for someone to exit stage right, accept it with grace. There is a reason for everything (I know that saying is over played but its true) and if God knows the reason is there really a need to worry?
Dear Ann:
If you don’t hear from her, then fret over it for only a while. Then pick up your beautiful son and dance a little. Rejoicing in the fact that there truly unconditionally love in your life, and it’s the sound of God in your baby’s laughter.
-Sincerely Confused, Clovis NM
Dear Confused:
●
Nothing! You absolutely did nothing wrong. The only mistake you are making is beating yourself up about something that is beyond your control. My daughter always says “You can’t be responsible for other people’s actions, but you can be responsible for your reactions.” This is the perfect time for that saying. Who really knows why she has decided to lose touch. Maybe she thought you no longer had time in your busy life of wifedom and motherhood for hanging out and doing fun things. Maybe she was upset that you found happiness so soon. Maybe it’s all or none of the above. Only she knows and unless she shares that with you, it’s difficult to know what to say to her when and if you do contact her.
●
●
Have a question you want Ann to answer? Click the contact us button on www.circleofbelievers.com subject line “Ask Ann” ●
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●
●
~Word of Mouth~
Recently I met a wonderful man and within months we were engaged and had a baby on the way. Before our engagement my best friend since grade school, didn’t really seem that supportive of the fact that I wanted to marry. She had watched me go thru several relationships and saw how happy I was but that didn’t seem to sway her. As we were shopping for her maid of honor dress for my wedding I told her I was pregnant. She seemed thrilled! I have since had the baby and I have not seen nor spoken to her since my wedding! She hasn’t even seen my son. I have tried to talk to her but she changed numbers. I don’t even see her on my Facebook friends list anymore. What did I do wrong?
The average driver spends
55 minutes behind the wheel of a car. Source: RITA
1 out of ten brides don’t wear white or ivory.
Americans consume 17.3
billion quarts of popcorn a year. Source: Answerbag.com
The average Facebook user has
245 friends. Source: The Washington Post
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~Word of Mouth~
Source: the Knot.com
God is more interested in your relationships and your future than you are. -Billy Graham
Okay, here's how to do relationships - be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God, in Christ, also has forgiven you. -Chris Ingram
~Word of Mouth~
People who have good relationships at home are more effective in the marketplace. -Zig Ziglar
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Silvano Carpenter Men’s Sunglasses $36 at Buckle.com
Embroidered Lace Dress $59.50 At Gap.com
Tray $24.99 At Worldmarket.com
Method Everyday Shower Spray Cleaner $3.99 At Methodhome.com
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~Life & Style~
Distressed Whitewashed
Decorating a room is as easy as putting together an outfit! All you have to know is what colors complement each other and the size of your room. Then, just like your favorite pair of shoes, find items that enhance your favorite piece but don’t drown it out. For us, we wanted a summer to fall transitional room that was fun, quirky and contemporary with both modern and traditional accessories. Here is what we did! A. Find a jumping off point: Our favorite color right now is Red. A deep rich red with a modern yet classically shaped couch made the perfect jumping off point. We found this “Hova Red” couch at Comfortworks.com.au B. Wall color: We love this color from Sherwinwilliams.com. Goldenrod is the perfect backdrop for our red sofa. Since the color is so rich and deep it can accommodate a spectrum of fall color accessories.
D. The rug also led us to these gorgeous wrought iron beaded scones from cottagehomemaine.com. The subtle hints of green in the rug just screamed for attention. The barley there jade green in the rug gently waves as your eye goes up to those green beads. E. Those scones needed to show off something other than the sofa, and we still needed to ground the room. So we looked above the sofa! This Juan de Arellano painting we saw at lib.art.com took our breath away. F. Since the room needed balance we chose this contemporary table from comcore21.com. It was just enough dark to balance with the painting and give the room weight. G. Every room needs a piece that ties everything back to your jumping off point. This multi color striped glass vase from tulipcollectibles.com did just that. It tones down the darker elements and still helps keep the look playful and vibrant.
19
~Life & Style~
C. Like our Himali Rug we read about in a freshdesignblog.com blog. We fell in love with the colors in it. The rug will give us the opportunity to pull multiple colors around the room and change other soft furnishings such as drapes and pillows.
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Now enjoy COB, Midway and AprilandDecmeber.com all from your mobile devices! Check us out at www.studio6.thefanbase.net 23
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I am not afraid to admit it. I am 33 and single. I know this may sound like a lie, but I’m okay with being single. Notice I said ‘okay’. I am not going to be delusional either and tell you that I’m perfectly happy about it or that I don’t care about being single at this age. The truth is I would like to have a partner to share my blessings with but I am content with the way things are right now.
to you is to stop looking (if you are) and keep growing.
As children of God we strive to grow in his grace. We are all conditioned for something greater than what this life has to offer. Our sole mission as children of God is to win souls by exuding the word and image of Christ. In order for us who believe to be the best spouse and/or parent possible, we first must be the best child of God possible!
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~Feature~
For those of us in our mid thirties and above, we get a lot of sympathy comments when we meet I know you are “Because we aren’t as desperate people for the first time probably pulling a Job as people make us out to be, I or a friend or family right now, trying to won’t feed you the same pathetic member starts to express think of all the sins you sympathy lines that have been their happiness in their could have committed relationship. Events feed to us all over the duration to bring you to this surrounding weddings or point of singledom. of our adult hood.” engagement parties are Stop! It’s less about the worst. We have what you have already done, and more all been there. The joyous about what you will do! In every Bible conversation ensues and all of the sudden there is an outline for the new man and a all eyes on you and someone blurts out, virtuous woman (Ephesians 4 and Proverbs “Don’t worry sweetheart God has someone 31 respectively). for you.” Every relationship we have hinges First of all, I know God has plans for on our relationship with God. No me. Whether they involve a spouse I am relationship with anyone is easy. They all not sure, but I trust God for everything. have their ups and downs. The key to Secondly, who said I was worried? People contentment lies in Christ. Waiting is a automatically assume that because I’m still verb. It indicates action even though it’s single, I fear going into my mid thirties and definition is quite the opposite. While we forties without a spouse. They make it are waiting for something to happen seem as though I have been running around physically, God is strengthening us both like a speed dating rabbit, kissing frogs and mentally and spiritually. trying to fit into glass slippers to find my It is okay to be single and saved and prince charming! it’s also okay to be married and saved. The For all my single folks out there, I point to both is that you are saved! Do not have a message for you. Because we are go around in circles trying to find the “one” not as desperate as people make us out to or worry yourself silly because they haven’t be, I won’t feed you the same pathetic fallen from the sky yet onto your front sympathy lines that have been feed to us all porch. Don’t let sympathy lines get the over the duration of our adult hood. I am better of you either. Wait, I say on the not going to tell you “God has someone Lord. In physically waiting, take pleasure special for you,” or that “one day he or she and contentment in spiritually growing. will just walk into your life when you’re not You’d be surprised just how much you looking or thinking about it.” No, my advice deeper you fall in Love with God and with yourself.
The streets were fairly quiet for it to be so late in the evening. Summers in the south are always bright until at least 8 p.m. As my assistant and I drove through the streets of this quiet subdivision, we couldn’t help but notice the charm and the peacefully lingering calm. Once we arrived at our destination , we hopped out of the car ready to do in introduction interview. As the cool southern breeze welcomed us to the home of Wylea Miller, her cute little guards join in the committee.
Wylea: Oh Lord, the hardest thing to make is peanut brittle. It all depends on the weather, the temperature and it setting right. If the air is too humid outside it becomes stringy like taffy and wont set up right. It is definitely one of the hardest things to make. Studio6: What simple baking tips do you have for first time or insecure bakers? Wylea: Don’t make peanut brittle for your first project! Start with something like a sugar cookie. Something that is simple with not a lot of ingredients and a lot of time.
Waging tails and all, they were given instructions, “Sniff, sniff okay now move.” “They’re my guard dogs. They don’t seem to realize they aren’t big!” The dogs might not have been much in size but the atmosphere of love in the house was. Right at the tail of ending dinner, the stillness was interrupted with greetings and introductions and of course, more barking.
Studio6: How has your faith contributed to your business?
Once we got our selves situated, the family quietly retreated to the front porch- including another key member of Sister’s Sweets, Wylea’s mom Shirlene. “She’s a behind the scenes type of girl.” Wylea’s smile echoed her southern charm. She was a natural talker, able to ease her way into just about any conversation. She carried well on film as well. It took us no time at all to get thru the video interview. After filming, I asked just a few more questions.
Pictured above: Shirlene and Wylea Miller of Sister’s Sweets (TanaMia Smiddy not pictured)
Want to know more about Sister’s Sweets? Click here! You can also view their catalog by visiting their web page on circleofbelievers.com, or scan this code with your smart phone!
Studio 6: So, what makes Sisters Sweets Unique? Wylea: Most of our recipes are made and made up by family. Nothing is really written down it’s all by memory. The recipes have been passed down and memorized. Studio6: What is the hardest thing to make?
26
The Inner Circle
Wylea: Well it’s kind of cliché`, but food is soulful. Anytime I’m baking… I know that talent and ability come from God. So it kind of connects.
Bio
Music Albums
Birth date: Jan 12,
The second
1988
coming
Now lives in Savannah
The come up
Georgia
Deep blood red
Is the Minister of Music
Mercy Lord
for Faith on the move
Studio 6 Favorite Tracks
Ministries in Savannah
Walk on Water
Song style ranges from big band, to ballad
More than a
Lyrical focus:
conqueror
empowering youth
I hate you
and young adults
Find him on the web at:
with moral and
http://www.malimusicnote.
spiritual
com/
enlightenment.
27
The Inner Circle
Born in Phoenix, Az
It was obvious who did it. Katlyn was
We took things slow. We found a church that all four of us liked and began double dating. Tim and I were soon known as the ‘it couple’. We eventually got engaged after a 2 year courtship. We were in love and happyKatlyn and Mikel however, not so much.
quite the jokester. You knew not to leave your drink, phone or food unattended around her. Joslyn, returning from the ladies room now took a sip of her sweet tea that had been infused with Italian dressing thanks to Katlyn. Poor unassuming Joslyn exclaimed “Ewwwwwww! KATLYN!!!!!” The table exploded with laughter, including Joslyn.
Katlyn wasn’t a bad girl or even a bad person. She was just very impulsive. She was too caring and almost too carefree. This was evident in her boyfriend choice and social connections. Maybe that is why I mothered her so. I chased away guys and rushed off frenimies “She told me she had moved back to on a regular basis. Even Chicago with her mom and was when my engagement to seeking the help of a therapist. Not a long time boyfriend fell just to get over being hurt by Mikel, thru the cracks, I chose to but also to recoup from being comfort Katlyn through betrayed by a friend.” her broken relationships.
As we begin planning our wedding, Mikel and Katlyn finally called it quits. It didn’t take Mikel long to find another girl and Katlyn was devastated. As my maid of honor, Kate was supposed to be helping me pick linens and dresses. Instead we would have Mikel bashing sessions. Since my faith had deepened and hers had obviously stalled, I would try to comfort her with scripture. She would listen and then combat with some reason of her own why that didn’t apply to her.
Case in point, boyfriend number ten for the year. Needless to say we were only in June! I was slinging pillows and at one point my shoes at her boyfriend. As I continued my attack, Katlyn and her black eye shrieked “Stop! He didn’t mean it!” “But I do!” I shot back. As he drove off yelling obscenities I turned my attention back to a shaken and sobbing Katlyn.
One day, as she began to bash Mikel yet again, I told her that she would never find a good man until she let go of her anger and resentment. It was time that was way overdue. She replied “Oh please. We don’t need men. We’ll just die alone.” Thinking she was joking I laughed and said, “That would be great but I’m not sure that Timber would that approving. Especially after all the money we are spending on the wedding.” She looked at me with astonishment. “You’re still going to marry that jerk!” I was shocked. I sat there with my mouth open for a moment and then said. “Tim is NOT a jerk. He is a good man and shouldn’t be judged by what Mikel did.”
As we sat contemplating what had went wrong, I suggested we stop going to church to just go. I grew up attending service, but I wanted a deeper relationship with God. I was sure that if we sought him more, he would provide us with worthwhile mates. Katlyn agreed. We went to numerous seminars, teachings and conferences. It was at one of the seminars we met Tim and his brother Mikel. Mikel had a certain spontaneity about him. He had sharp brown eyes that seemed to always smile. Katlyn was drawn to him immediately. As I was to his brother Timber, or Tim as they called him. He had beautiful blue eyes and a sweetness about him that lingers. 28
~Feature~
Soon after they started dating, Mikel begin to cheat on Katlyn. She refused to acknowledge the behavior, even after Tim rated out his own brother! Not only was Mikel a cheater, he was emotionally abusing Katlyn. He and Tim often fought over how he treated women, but since Katlyn was my friend he tried not to get in the middle too much, I already had that covered!
She told me that I was being selfish and suddenly she was sleepy. That was her quaint way of kicking someone out. This time she used the line on me, adding that once I got some rest I would see things differently. Then she told me “And if you don’t you’ll just have to find another maid of honor.” I left angry and hurt. I couldn’t believe she really expected me to end my engagement to a man that God has sent me.
enemies, it is obvious we cannot be friends with everyone. As I thought about this, I was reminded that God said that there is no greater love than when someone lays down his life. In a sense, there are plenty of ways to die. Death is not limited to only physically but also emotionally and spiritually. I was a different person. The old me was fine with Kate, but when I decided to endure a spiritual death to be closer to God and an emotional death to keep my relationship sound with Tim, the old McKenzie just wasn’t good enough.
I didn’t hear from her for weeks. I know she was serious and my wedding date was fast approaching. Tim was extremely comforting and caring. He made many apologies for his brother and he even tried to call Kate to explain. She wouldn’t answer and eventually, she changed her number. He was still strong for me though. His attention only deepened my love for him and my astonishment at Kate for being so selfish. It still hurt though. I cried a lot, especially as my new maid of honor slipped into Kate’s dress. I told her it was because she looked so perfect. While she did look great in the dress, that was far from the reason.
As I said my vows, I had to smile a little at the “till death do us part” portion. Tim later asked me why I smiled that way. I told him that I well understood the seriousness of that statement. My smile was an indication of enlightenment. As for Kate, if you’re reading this…letting you go was my final way of protecting you and the new me. I wish you well and I hope for your sake you can find a tie that won’t break.
~Feature~
As my date got even closer I received a letter from Kate. She wrote to tell me how disappointed she was that I was going to marry the brother of the man who caused her more pain than anyone else ever had. She told me she had moved back to Chicago with her mom and was seeking the help of a therapist. Not just to get over being hurt by Mikel, but also to recoup from being betrayed by a friend. I was devastated. Did she really expect me to be unhappy just because she was? As I sunk to my knees in tears, my Spirit all of the sudden grew still. I knew this feeling was the presence of God. He began to tell me that my new life was about to begin. He was blessing me with the desire of my heart and he had plans for me and Tim…those plans did not include the obstacle of Katlyn’s distractions. He let my mind have visions of different moments in my life with Kate. I passed up a promotion that Kate talked me out of, I ruined my first engagement because I chose to spend time with her, not my ex fiancé. And even though that proved to be a blessing because I was now about to marry a wonderful man, my relationship with her was taking all the joy out of planning my dream wedding. Like I said before, Katelyn was not a bad person. She was simply misguided. I think that we as believers we equate love with friendship. Just as Christ told us to love everyone, even our
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~Out and About~
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Overflow Worship Conference Tukwila, Washington | September 14-15, 2012 Unit Worship conference Atlanta, Georgia | September 19-21, 2012;
St. Louis, Missouri | September 24-25, 2012
New life leadership conference Colorado Springs, Colorado | September 24-26, 2012
September 16th - October 14th, 2012
* Live Nation Entertainment presents The King's Men Concert Tour -- featuring Kirk Franklin, Donnie McClurkin, Marvin Sapp and Israel Houghton. The event will hit 15 major U.S. cities. The current schedule is as follows: 9/16: Phoenix, AZ (Comerica Theatre) 9/19: Los Angeles, CA (Gibson Amphitheatre) 9/22: Concord, CA (Sleep Train Amphitheatre) 9/25: Dallas, TX (Verizon Theatre At Grand Prairie) 9/26: Houston, TX (Reliant Arena) 9/28: Atlanta, GA (Chastain Amphitheatre) 9/30: Miami, FL (American Airlines Arena) 10/2: Tampa, FL (USF Sun Dome) 10/4: Norfolk, VA (Constant Convocation Center) 10/6: Washington, DC (Verizon Center) 10/7: Philadelphia, PA (Liacouras Center) 10/9: Cleveland, OH (Wolstein Center) 10/10: Chicago, IL (United Center) 10/12: Detroit, MI (Fox Theatre) 10/14: Brooklyn, NY (Barclays Center) [Tickets available at www.TicketMaster.com. (Photos: Kirk Franklin (left) and Donnie McClurkin). Information found at gospeleventsonline.com
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~Out and About~
Click an image to read synopsis Courtesy of Christianfilmdatabase.com
Chocolate Lovers Cherry Skinny
The hardware: “For you (the Lord) have put our evil doings before you, our secret sins in the light of your face.” –Psalm 90:8 BBE
The ingredients: One chocolate cake mix ¼ cup of vanilla frosting 1 package of cherry drink mix (about 2 tsps) ¼ cup of semi sweet chocolate morsels Fudge sauce for plating
The common ingredient: I put this recipe together obviously because I love chocolate but I wanted to cut the richness with something sharp. Cherry was perfect. However, I don’t like a lot of frosting, It is often too sweet and can overpower the actual star of the dessert…the cake underneath. When was the last time you thought about how God views you? Are you constantly trying to cover up the ugliness inside by being too sweet on the outside?
Preparation In a bowl, combine the cake mix and the morsels with the wet ingredients called for on the cake mix package. Fix cake mix according to instructions. Allow to cool in the cake pan for 30-45 minutes before flipping out onto a plate. Once you have flipped the cake out, allow to cool for an hour so that the top will not get soggy because of humidity. Once the cake is cooled, melt the frosting in the microwave. You want it liquid not stiff or thick, but a loose running liquid. It should be bubbling. While it is still very hot, mix in the drink mix and stir until mix is completely dissolved. Pour over the top of the cake and allow it to run down the sides of the cake and allow to set for 15 minutes. You could plate using ice cream and a drizzle of Chocolate sauce, or you can use fresh cherries. Scoop up a piece of the set frosting as garnish.
Prep time: 5 mins Cook time: 30-45 mins
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~Sweet Ending~
A fluted or bundt pan
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