Buzz Magazine: April 28, 2011 by Buzz Magazine

buzz

Champaign-Urbana’s community magazine FREE

w eekly

week of APRIL 28, 2011

Clowinin’ 6 furry face 7 ebertfest guide 10-11

more on

the217.com

buzz

VOL9 NO17

APRIL 28, 2011

w eekly

Nelson Beck

Certified Reflexologist 217•367•9642 spa 217•417•1235 cell

IN THIS ISSUE Parkland puts on Into the Woods.

Reflexology

EBERT’S NIGHTCAP

The Perfect Mother’s Day Gift.

A guide on where to stop after Ebertfest

When you buy any length or type of massage, get a FREE 30 minute Gift Certiﬁcate

The Appleseed Cast coming to the Highdive

Buy One Get One Free

POST ROCK PILLAR FOR THE KIDDIES

MUST BRING IN THIS CARD TO GET SPECIAL PRICE

www.greenyogaspa.com

ON THE217.COM COMMUNITY Keep your eyes to the skies! It’s the Third Annual Bird Migration Festival at the Homer Lake Preserve.

FOOD & DRINK If you’re like me and can hardly boil water, then you should definitely check out Emily’s column. She teaches you super easy cooking techniques, and gives some yummy recipes that are totally easy. Look for “Cooking ABC123,” online Friday.

Dr. Suzanne Trupin streaming live on the217.com

Women’s Health Practice

Women for Women

MUSIC buzz music is upping the word count and starting online full-length album reviews. Start checking online weekly for the latest in releases including the tUnE-yArDs’ w h o k i l l this week.

MOVIES & TV Do we have Ebertfest coverage? You better fucking believe we do! We have previews, reviews, recaps and interviews! We’ve got pictures, paintings, sculptures and conceptual performance art inspired by the festival! We have a live human head on a silver platter screaming to be put out of its misery, just for you! Ebertfest! Radical! In-Your-Face! BMXPLOSION! ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

GET INVOLVED Enroll in a Research Study • Contraception • STDs • Pelvic Pain

373-4880 2125 South Neil Street Champaign, IL 61820

buzz

4 13

Kate Klise visits the Champaign Public Library.

ALLOY ORCHESTRA 4

GET OUT OF TOWN

Dance is cool, but Studio Dance II takes your concept of modern dance and gives it a fresh perspective. Check out Robert Garcia’s review of the second installment of Studio Dance for the spring. Online Monday.

CALENDAR

Your guide to this weeks events in CU

EDITOR’S NOTE DYLAN SUTCLIFF

Welcome to the Movies Issue. Ebertfest is back again with another great lineup of films and speakers, so buzz is putting its best film foot forward! In 2008, my favorite film, Speed Racer, written and directed by The Wachowskis, was released to almost no audience. Critics universally panned it with a Rotten Tomato’s rating of 38 percent and Metacritic’s total coming to a whopping 37. As a result, the movie is still in the negative with the production cost totaling around $120 million with sales falling out at approximately $94 million. However these reviews did not stop me from seeing it in theaters four times. I know that I can’t say much to convince any of you that this is actually a quality movie, but all I ask is for everyone to give the film a chance. In my opinion, the problems started with the production company advertising it as a children’s movie. Clocking in at 135 minutes with an overarching anticapitalist theme, Speed Racer was not meant for children. The film also contains an unusual amount of exposition and complex business deals that take a few viewings to completely understand— as ridiculous as this all sounds, it’s completely true. But in all honesty, Speed Racer is a great movie not because of its almost too obvious thematic leanings, but because of it’s overall fun feeling. Even though it is a lengthy film, the plot moves quickly as the camera follows the independent Racer family fight back against the major sponsors who threaten both their company and them. The real wonder of the film is how the Wachowskis manage to create a world in which these fantastic eye-candy races actually make sense. As Speed travels over tracks that seem to be straight out of a child’s Hot Wheel’s infused imagination, there is no doubting that racing is the lifeblood of this world’s economy with every feature of business feeding off of its splendor. Although there is no actual count, I can safely say that I’ve seen Speed Racer over 50 times and I can’t wait to watch it again. If anyone wishes to join me, I’m always happy to host Speed Racer showings with anyone and everyone. I’m serious. I will watch it at any time with anyone.

the217.com APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2011

HEADS

UP!

LIKES

GRIPES

Peggy Fioretti Managing Editor

LIKES vintage vinyl fundraiser for the visually impaired

by Amy Harwath

buzz staff

Cover Design Olivia La Faire Editor in Chief Dylan Sutcliff Managing Editor Peggy Fioretti Art Director Olivia La Faire Copy Chief Emily Siner Photography Editor Sean O’Connor Image Editor Peggy Fioretti Photographers Jaci Wandell, Eric Kwan, Imani Brooks Designers Annaka Olsen, Sanny Lin, JoAnne Pierce Music Editor Adam Barnett Food & Drink Editor Samantha Bakall Movies & tv Editor Nick Martin Arts & entertainment Editor Lauren Hise Community Editor Amy Harwath CU Calendar Elisia Phua Copy Editors Drew Hatcher, Emily Blumenthal, Maggie Puniewska Marketing/Distribution Brandi Willis EDITORIAL ADVISER Marissa Monson Publisher Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ

Hey, are you wearing flannel, thick-rimmed glasses and listening to an LP on your vintage RCA turn table? Well, Mr. (or Ms.) Hipster, I’ve got the perfect event for you. The Illinois Radio Reader (IRR) program hosts an annual Vintage Vinyl Sale to finance its radio station for the visually impaired. This year, the event will be on Saturday, April 30, from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. at 301 W. Marketview Dr. in Champaign. For early birds, there is a premium sale from 8 a.m. to 11 a.m. with a $5 entry fee. After 11 a.m., entry is free for all seeking musical sustenance. Thousands of LP records, CDs, cassettes, DVDs, 45s, and vintage audio equipment will be sold. The Illinois Radio Reader (IRR) program helps the visually impaired remain self-sufficient in their daily lives. Seemingly simple tasks such as reading the sales specials in a newspaper or looking up information on a local event can be a challenge for those who are visually impaired. IRR broadcasts readings of local print media for people who qualify for the service. For more information about the Vintage Vinyl Sale, visit its Facebook page, Vintage Vinyl 2011.To donate records, equipment or money, contact Deane Geiken at dgeiken@ad.uiuc.edu. If you find any Brian Eno records, call Movies & TV Editor Nick Martin right away at (815) 793-4002.

On the Web www.the217.com Email buzz@readbuzz.com Write 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 CALL 217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © Illini Media Company 2011

» Dreaming about James Franco: It’s like he actually loves me. Dreams are the best. He holds my hand and kisses me softly and it’s totally acceptable because it’s a dream and I can’t control it. It’s the closest I’ll ever get to him — a long distance relationship, if you will. So ladies and gentleman, kindly back the fuck off. He’s mine. » Sleepless In Seattle : I’ve seen this movie several times, but I watched it a couple of days ago and cried multiple times. Its deeper meaning must be too deep for you if you didn’t weep, actually. » The scent of chalk : Unfortunately, I’ve always been alone in this, but I think that the smell of chalk is really alluring. No, not the sidewalk kind — the classroom kind. I’m kind of pissed that technology is taking over everything because the only way I survived K-8 was with the lingering smell of chalk. If you don’t agree, that’s fine, but you’re obviously useless.

Nick Martin Movies & TV Editor

GRIPES » Trying to program a computer to write literary criticism : Man, this is frustrating! First, I had to deposit the entire Western literary cannon into a giant computer and now I have to teach that computer how to make provocative interpretations of the classics! It’s so much work! Who knew the forefront of highfunctioning neural-network Artificial Intelligence would be so gosh darn complicated! I’d probably have better luck with a marketing major! Hell, I’d probably have better luck with an electrical engineer! P.S. Richard Powers, if you’re reading this, I really like your book. » Turing tests : Wait a second, this prose sounds stilted. Those answers seem premeditated. These responses aren’t ... human!? Am I talking to a computer? How can I ever know for sure? Can a machine create ideas? Can a machine be programmed to think? If a robot can do what only man could do before it, what does that mean for human identity? Yet here I still sit, typing on a machine and wondering if there’s a person on the other side. Oh SmarterChild, you torture me so! » Determining Whether I’m Sentient or Not : Do I control my actions, or am I a slave to fate — biology, heredity, chemistry, society, economics, impulse and emotion? Is existence just a dream? A flash of light between two eternities of darkness? Who created me? Who created my memories? What’s it mean to be a human being? As I watch my Blade Runner Blu-Ray, I pontificate an answer: What it means to be a human being — an overwhelming desire to watch TV. buzz

MUSIC

Alloy Orchestra makes some noise Three musicians accompany Metropolis live at Ebertfest by Maggie Labno

ilent cinema enthusiasts merged their love for film and music in a fascinating way. The three members of Alloy Orchestra perform live music at silent film screenings, and they will perform in Champaign at Ebertfest to accompany the German expressionist film Metropolis. Alloy Orchestra formed in December 1991 when the three friends were asked to accompany Metropolis with live music. Since its first performance in Boston, the group has traveled all over the world performing its original pieces at prominent film festivals and cultural centers. The ensemble consists of Ken Winokur on “junk” percussion and clarinet; vocalist Terry Donahue on “junk,” accordion and musical saw; and Mission of Burma member Roger Miller on keyboards. Horseshoes, metal pans, pots, plates and spoons prove useful as junk instruments to Alloy. “We have a very large collection of stuff that we just delve into for any need, especially when we’re doing soundtrack work,” Winokur said. “We look over there, and we’re always finding the perfect sound effect.” The group managed to transform a bedpan, a toilet for bedridden patients, into a useful instrument. Winokur said he is “sort of known as the bedpan guy.”

In 20 years, Alloy Orchestra has written music for more than 30 films. “What I spend the most amount of time doing is researching silent films ... talking to people who are restoring them, figuring out what’s out there, what’s new, what’s available,” Winokur said. “It takes nine months of doing that before we have a film to do.” After a film is selected, the group spends around three months composing music and getting it ready to perform. Some of the films Alloy scores come naturally to the group. Metropolis fell into this category. The junk metal assemblage the group uses resembles the movie set, adding to the post-apocalyptic quality of the film. Out of all of the scores Alloy has worked on, this remains the group’s favorite. It will accompany the film at this year’s Ebertfest. “We love this film, and it’s the most amazing, crazy science-fiction film,” Winokur said. “There’s nothing else like it in the silent repertoire.” Alloy has progressed in ways that aided in the sophistication of the group. Over its 20year existence, Winokur and Donahue have learned to play melodic instruments such as the clarinet. According to Winokur, the addition of this allowed the group to invent different styles and colors of music.

Used with permission from Alloy Orchestra

The group’s obvious love for cinema and music has made Alloy Orchestra successful, but according to Winokur, its success as a silent film accompanist was unexpected. “I mean, who would’ve thought there was actually a job there?” he said. “We’ve been humbled by the gift we’ve been given as far as being able to spend our lives accompanying these masterpieces of the silent cinema.” The newest project that Alloy is working on is

entitled Wild and Weird, Alloy’s favorite short films from the silent era, and fans can expect “all sorts of crazy, crazy stuff,” Winokur said. Wild and Weird will premiere this summer in San Francisco on July 14 and in Poland for the European premiere. It is also expected to be included in next year’s Ebertfest. Ebertfest 2011 presents Metropolis and Alloy Orchestra at the Virginia Theatre in Champaign on April 27 at 7 p.m.

The Appleseed Cast to take on the Highdive ...and maybe to do your catering by Adam Barnett

buzz

of seven) produce an extremely ambient but relatively guitar-driven feeling of euphoria ironically mixed with a very subtle tension. Think a rockier, American Sigur Rós. You can hear that sound for yourself when The Appleseed Cast comes to the Highdive in Champaign on May 2. “Messier, louder and more improvised,” Pillar said. “That’s exactly what our live shows are like ... Records are records, and live is live. We don’t try to sound like the album live; we definitely try to have fun with it.” But that doesn’t mean the albums aren’t worth checking out. The band’s albums constantly receive overwhelmingly positive reviews from websites like Allmusic and Absolute Punk. Pitchfork bestowed a rare 9.0 rating upon the band’s Low Level Owl series back in 2001, though that’s not really what songwriting is all about for the band. “We’re not really writing songs to sell records or be radio hits,” Pillar said. “We’re all trying to be good songwriters. I feel like it’s such an art to

know where to put the hook, know where to put the break, know when to not have drum fills and when to have drum fills.” The Appleseed Cast is also one of those rare bands that continues to play its oldies in addition to its new repertoire. “We have about 20 songs ready,” Pillar said. “We’re playing some of the newer stuff, and we’re playing a couple songs that we really haven’t played for a really long time. It’s just a very eclectic set.” It will also be a very jam-based show. Pillar said the band has a tendency to “break off” into long instrumental breaks in the middle of songs. But for a band that excels in the world of instrumental music (with occasional vocals), that’ll be more of a treat than anything else. Several artists tend to burn out and tire by the end of a tour, and although Champaign is the last stop on the tour, Pillar assured that the show is going to be just as loud and energetic as any other.

Used with permission from Appleseed Cast

briefbox

When ordering food for an event, you probably don’t consider the side-lives of the caterers. However, you should probably start because maybe one of those caterers is Aaron Pillar of The Appleseed Cast. When he’s not running or buying supplies for his and his wife’s catering service, Pillar plays guitar for one of the most influential “rock bands” of the 2000s. While the band is relatively popular in indie music today, The Appleseed Cast certainly puts its music into the far reaches of the indie and post-rock scenes, as well as the late ‘90s emo scene. “‘Appleseed’ works perfect for us,” Pillar said. “[The name] is a little weird. It fits us in a way. We kind of bounce around a whole lot of genres in what we do, and all the little bits and pieces kind of make up the way Appleseed works.” Those “little bits and pieces” form a genre Pillar describes as “an artistic, atmospheric rock band.” And nobody could come up with a better description. Its most recent records (out of a career total

the highdive 51 E. Main St., C. what: The Appleseed Cast with Withershins and

A Great Big Pile of Leaves when: May 2, doors open at 7 p.m.,

show starts at 7:30 p.m. TICKETS: $10

THIS WEEK

APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2011

the217.com

KR ANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS

TH APR 28

THESE SPONSORS MAKE GOOD STUFF HAPPEN:

5pm 5pm 6pm 7:30pm 7:30pm

Krannert Uncorked // Marquee TPO Virtual Playground // Marquee TPO Virtual Playground // Marquee La Calisto // School of Music Opera Program Ben Heppner, tenor // Marquee

Ben Heppner, tenor

7:30pm

UI Jazz Band III

Anonymous

Mary and Kenneth Andersen Carole and Jerry Ringer Dixie and Evan Dickens Dolores and Roger Yarbrough

// School of Music

FR APR 29

Margaret and Larry Neal

4pm 7:30pm 7:30pm

TPO Virtual Playground // Marquee La Calisto // School of Music Opera Program UI Jazz Band II // School of Music

Iris and Burt Swanson

7:30pm

UI Philharmonia

Anonymous

// School of Music

SA APR 30

11am

6:30pm 7:30pm 7:30pm

Kindur: The Adventurous Journey of Icelandic Sheep // Marquee UI Jazz Saxophone Ensemble and UI Jazz Guitar Ensemble // School of Music Libretto: La Calisto // School of Music Opera Program La Calisto // School of Music Opera Program UI Concert Jazz Band // School of Music

7:30pm

UI Varsity Men’s Glee Club

3pm

// School of Music

Kindur: The Adventurous Journey of Icelandic Sheep The Susan Sargeant McDonald Endowed Fund for Youth Programming (Suzi was the founder/ developer of the Krannert Center Youth Series) Alice and John Pfeffer

SU MAY 1

Jill and James Quisenberry

2pm 3pm 3pm 3pm 6pm

Libretto: La Calisto // School of Music Opera Program La Calisto // School of Music Opera Program UI Latin Jazz Ensemble // School of Music UI Wind Symphony // School of Music UI Wind Orchestra: Concert for Families with Children on the Autism Spectrum // School of Music

Carol and Ed Scharlau

7:30pm

UI Jazz Trombone Ensemble

// School of Music

TU MAY 3

7:30pm

UI Jazz Band IV

This presentation is supported by the Performing Arts Fund, a program of Arts Midwest funded by the National Endowment for the Arts, with additional contributions from the Illinois Arts Council, the General Mills Foundation, and the Land O’Lakes Foundation.

// School of Music

WE MAY 4

7:30pm 7:30pm About 10pm

UI Jazz Combos Concert II // School of Music UI Symphony Orchestra // School of Music Pygmalion Afterglow: John Vanderslice and Damien Jurado // Marquee TH MAY 5

5pm

Krannert Uncorked with FE-NOM, jazz

This presentation is funded in part by the National Dance Project of the New England Foundation for the Arts. NDP is supported by lead funding from the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation, with additional funding from the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation, the Community Connections Fund of the MetLife Foundation, and the Boeing Company Charitable Trust.

// Marquee

C A L L 3 3 3 . 6 2 8 0 • 1. 8 0 0 . K C P A T I X

Corporate Power Train Team Engine

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council—a state agency that recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

40 North and Krannert Center—working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

buzz

the217.com

APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2011

Topless Female Dancers

DAY IN THE LIFE OF A CLOWN

18 to enter • Mon-Thur 8pm-1am • Fri-Sat 8pm-2am • $5 Cover (Always Hiring, We’ll Train)

Silver Bullet Bar

read buz z

enjoy

1401 E. Washington Urbana 217.344.0937

Nina Moore describes the ins and outs of clowning around

www.silverbulletbar.net

Moving to the San Francisco Bay Area?

Used with permission from Nina Moore

by Jessica Bourque

You may be leaving Urbana-Champaign for the San Francisco Bay Area, but you’ll never be far from the Illinois community in your new home. Get in touch with the Illini Center West to stay connected with the Illinois community through events and networking opportunities right here in California. The Illini Center West will be hosting an event for all recent graduates in San Francisco in September. Sign up online to receive the full invitation. http://go.illinois.edu/SFBay Illini Center West 501 Second Street, Suite 403 San Francisco, CA 94107 415-227-4971 Illinicenterwest@illinois.edu 6

buzz

he walked in wearing a brightly bejeweled bowler hat and a jean jacket personalized with colorful iron-on pictures, her whimsical clothing emblematic of her personality. She smiled wide, eyes twinkling, as she introduced herself. “It’s pronounced Nine-a. Yeah, I’ll never be a 10, but I try.” It seems the jokes never stop with Nina Moore. Whether she’s working the crowd or sitting in a bustling cafe, Moore tends to grab attention everywhere she goes. After a conversation with her, during which she spoke in various comedic voices, it’s easy to see why clowning is her profession. “I’ve only been clowning for going on 17 years. In costume, anyway. I’ve always been a character,” said Moore. She is part of a slowly dying breed. True professionals are a rarity in the clowning industry, due to a lack of interest and resources. Moore received her degree in Clownology from the University of Wisconsin, a program that no longer exists, after a career as a sales rep and personnel manager. She has now clowned for audiences across the nation. In fact, her talents are so recognized that she often teaches workshops at some of the most prestigious clowning conventions. Credentials aside, Moore’s passion and love for this business sets her apart from the rest. Her mantra: Clown from the heart, not the pocketbook. “I love being able to be a character, but I also love being able to make a difference by making people laugh,” said Moore. But it’s a tough time to be a clown. With a generation of kids glued to their TVs, Xboxes and computer screens, the art of clowning is less appreciated than ever before. According to Moore, the demand for clowns has nose-dived in the past few years. However, she is working to change that. “Hopefully, I can instill this [love of clowning] at parties so children will want to go to Dallas and Company and buy magic and use their hands for more than just their iPods. They can learn to create surprises, create a reason to entertain their parents,” said Moore.

While she aims to generate interest in the profession, Moore is quick to emphasize that the clowning culture is not as frivolous as one might think. “People think anyone can be a clown. How many little children have told me, ‘My mom has a costume just like that,’ and I say, ‘Oh did she go to school?’ I mean, I’m sorry, but you have to be trained in whatever you’re doing. Anybody can wear a costume, but that doesn’t make them a clown,” she said. From the make-up and costumes to the jokes and tricks, everything has a complex science behind it. Often, clowns need to pick up on other forms of entertainment such as puppeteering and ventriloquism, both of which Moore can do. “Falling down and walking into a wall is funny, but it can hurt! There’s a right way to do it. You have to be trained for stuff like that,” More explained. A career in clowning is also demanding of time and money. Moore said a big show can require up to 100 hours of preparation between writing, planning, practicing and timing. Just packing and mentally preparing for a show can take around eight hours. Then there are the expenses. Good quality clown costumes and shoes can run upwards of $400, and training camps are usually around $1500. Plus, there are travel costs. “There’s a lot of years that you don’t make a profit,” said Moore. “A lot of people get into clowning and give up soon after because they get frustrated. They have to put in all this effort and money right away. It’s hard work if you want to be good at it.” For Moore, getting the chance to be in the spotlight and be a part of such an entertaining community of friends makes it all worth it. “One of my most memorable experiences was performing at a convention in Wisconsin. Getting to perform in front of such a distinguished group of professionals was really special,” said Moore. Even though her career has been long and fulfilling, Moore has no plans of retiring soon. In the future, she hopes to join The Red Nose Group, a group of clowns who travel to disaster areas to help bring joy during times of intense grief. “Silliness,” Moore said, “can really break the solitude of depression and make a difference.”

the217.com

“I see!” said the blind man. “Liar!” said the fool.

APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2011

BEARDS: A HAIRY SITUATION buzz gets up close and personal about the allure of facial hair by Hannah Pitstick

wise man once said, “It is just as I feared! Two owls and a hen, four larks and a wren, have all built their nests in my beard.” Why doth the man grow a beard? This is the question I set out to answer on that rainy week in April. My quest turned out to be a fascinating plummet down the rabbit hole of bearded history. A man’s beard sends out a variety messages depending on when and where he lives. If you were a priest during the Protestant Reformation, you were quite the rebel flaunting that beard. If you lived in 16th century England, your beard would have cost you a shiny sovereign in taxes. If you live in 21st century Urbana, you likely work for buzz magazine. Once I trained my eye to the spotting of bearded men on campus, I came to realize that they are everywhere. They are truly taking over the University. Why, bearded man, do you let your beard grow so long? “I like the feeling of water catching in it,” proclaimed Ross Topol, an experimental beard-growing photography major. “I’m serious, I really like it,” he insisted. “Other than that, it’s a wonderful general lack of hygiene.”

“If I don’t have a beard, I look like I’m 5 years old,” said Evan Murphy, a history TA and member of the World Beard and Mustache Association, which declares to be “united in friendship and honor” on its website. “I think it’s also less likely that high schoolers will make fun of me,” said Topol. “I live next to a high school so there’s a constant fear of peer pressure and people making fun of me.” Murphy found this to be true as well. “It gets caught in things sometimes, but that would be the only disadvantage,” said Murphy. “I only see advantages. It makes you look older, more defined, and it keeps your face warm during the winter.” If this is the case, then why doesn’t every man grow a beard with such a satisfying lifestyle. Plus, there are so many great bearded role models in the world to look up to: Jesus Christ, Karl Marx, bearded Jake Gyllenhaal. The list goes on and on. One reason a man might choose not to grow a beard is because he fears the disapproval of lady-folk. “I’d like to say girls have mixed feelings about my facial hair, but I don’t think that’s the case,”

said Topol. “It’s a scraggly beard, too, so it’s kind of off-putting.” As it turns out, many girls are not in fact turned on by furry-faced men. The ladies enrolled in my Literature of Fantasy class, including Laura Hapke, Alex Loh and Melanie Demos, were generally opposed to the idea. “It depends,” said Hapke, a sophomore in history. “I mean if you can rock the Civil War-general look, OK.” “But not if it’s like an inch thick,” objected Demos, a freshman in DGS. “Mutton chops went out of style for a reason,” said Loh, a sophomore in English. Everything in moderation, they decided. And scruff is OK. However, bearded men should not fear the rejection of all girls. There is definitely a market out there for them. “I’m all for beards,” said Dana Hogan, a junior in cinema studies. “I think it’s because I only really want to date professor types. There’s something about glasses, a beard and a full head of gray hair that a girl really can’t resist.” I myself have had a romantic rendezvous with a bearded man back in the day, and it has its ups

GO LOCAL FOR CO-LOCATION.

Andrew Rockway sports some badass facial hair. Photo by Jaci Wandell

and downs. The scraggly stage can have disastrous effects upon girlish skin, but the full-on bearded stage is surprisingly soft. Plus, a beard often signals that the man is either rebellious, laid back, or simply has an interesting job that doesn’t require him to shave (i.e. artist or musician). However, for girls into military men, the beard is a bad sign, as the army has prohibited beards since the introduction of gas masks in World War I. But who’s to say what the beard will mean in the years to come? “It’d be cool if beards came back,” said Topol. “I’d like to see beards be the new breasts for men, where guys get ashamed if they can’t grow them.”

Want to know the BEST PLACES to go in CU?

Why waste time + money going DIY or driving to Chicago? We’ve been providing DATA CENTER SERVICES in Champaign-Urbana since 1998: • Connected to ALL local fiber optic bandwidth providers AND Chicago • Champaign & Rantoul data centers for Disaster Recovery + Co-location services • Managed Hosting Services for IBM Lotus Notes, Microsoft Exchange, and more

Call | 217.356.288 Visit | http://Prominic.NET

Employment opportunities available for Linux, Solaris, and Windows Admins

The best data center you’ve never heard of.

Look for these stickers in windows around town to ﬁnd out the best places to go in CU. *As voted by readers in the Best of CU 2010

buzz

Food

Drink

movies with a side of restaurants Continue the story lines through dinner by Barbara Davidson & Samantha Bakall

Wednesday: Metropolis Ebertfest kicks off on Wednesday evening with Fritz Lang’s 1927 German film, Metropolis. A movie of epic proportions at the time of its release, Metropolis is still as breathtaking now, even with its archaic special effects. Lang’s dynamic portrait of an urban dystopia has been brought to light in recent years due to the discovery of 30 minutes of missing footage. However, that is not the only spectacular feature of this particular screening. Metropolis is a silent film and has been paired with a variety of different soundtracks over the years. At this year’s Ebertfest, Alloy Orchestra will provide its interpretation of the score live. It has been almost a century since a live accompaniment was a normal inclusion in film showings. Alloy Orchestra is bringing it back with a fresh musical dialogue, an experience that should not be missed. Complement this product of Weinmar Republic Cinema with locally owned Das Café, located in downtown Urbana. Das Café features on tasty traditional German cuisine, as well as a variety of hot and cold sandwiches, salads and soups. Thursday: Tiny Furniture Perhaps one of the most appealing films to the collegiate community is Lena Dunham’s 2010 film, Tiny Furniture. A recent graduate of an Ohio university, Aura returns to her mother’s loft in Tribeca, film degree in tow, as she navigates her emergence into the unemployed life of a recent liberal arts graduate. Aura’s return is punctuated with characters that correlate to each issue she faces: her uber-successful younger sister with all the potential in the world; Jed, a mild YouTube sensation lobbying for his own show; an old childhood friend, Charlotte, a sassy and sexual creature. As Aura slowly slips further into post-graduate career limbo, the other issues of body image, sexuality and self-realization intermingle in a film that captures them all succinctly and with the utmost of ease. A place that is equally as quirky, yet comfortable in its own skin is Carmon’s, located in downtown Champaign on Neil Street. Much like the restaurant that Aura hosts at in the film, Carmon’s is a petite space with a lot of charm developed through carefully carved wooden tables and French knick-knacks. With daily quiche specials, carefully crafted crepes and a full bar, Carmon’s is the perfect pairing. The staff is especially delightful and always warm.

buzz

flawlessly as McKay. Brutal, honest, but nevertheless enchanting, there is no gap between the Welles persona and McKay’s character. In the spirit of theater, stop by Krannert Center for the Performing Arts in Urbana on Thursday. At 5 p.m.,it will be hosting Krannert Uncorked, a weekly event that pairs the musical styling of a local group with a complimentary wine tasting. Cheese and crackers are available at no cost, but patrons can select from a small but tasty menu at Stage 5 Bar.

Manager Maggie Verklan takes orders in The Red Herring Restaurant. Photo by Eric Kwan

Friday: Me and Orson Welles The intermingling of theater, romance, betrayal and one of the biggest personalities in modern cinema creates a platform for an enticing moviegoing experience. Richard Linklater’s 2008 film, Me and Orson Welles, is a film at this year’s festival that should not be overlooked. Zac Efron stars as Richard, a young thespian who unexpectedly gets offered the role of Lucius in Orson Welles’ anti-fascist take on Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar.

The production turns turbulent with the everdramatic and overbearing Welles calling the shots. The road to opening night is further complicated when Richard gets involved with the production assistant Sonja (Claire Danes), who is also involved with Welles. The most impressive contribution to the film is Christian McKay’s dead-on impersonation of the one and only Orson Welles. Welles had a largerthan-life persona, and though some have tried to capture it over the years, none have done it as

Saturday: I Am Love Tilda Swinton (Emma), who plays a Russian immigrant transformed Italian, enters the patriarchal world of rich Italian aristocrats in Luca Guadagnino’s film I Am Love. She is an individual — wife and mother — in the Recchi family, but not quite a real member. Her family undergoes large changes in their lives when her husband, Tancredi, and son, Edo, are named heirs to a massive industrial company, and Emma experiences her own changes when she falls into a deep love affair with her son’s friend, Antonio. To continue the feel of the passionate, aristocratic and familial Italian atmosphere, Bacaro, located at 113 N. Walnut in Champaign is the best place to visit. Bringing the essence of Italian fine dining to Champaign, Bacaro offers both typical Italian dishes, such as the braised veal osso bucco and homemade tagliatelle with a veal Bolognese, to less traditional dishes, such as the pan roasted sea bass or the grilled ribeye. Sunday: Louder Than A Bomb Concluding this year’s Ebertfest is a movie that encompasses our youth’s true heart and soul. Louder Than A Bomb tells the story of the 2008 Chicago-era poetry slam of the same name, where teams and soloists from nearly 60 high schools met to compete. The story is centered on Steinmetz, an inner-city school that had never participated until 2007, when it won the Bomb. The film also follows three students from schools all across the city of Chicago in the months before the competition. If Louder Than a Bomb has inspired poetic lyrics, Red Herring, located on campus on the corner of Oregon and Mathews, is a perfect match. Run in the Unitarian Universalist center on campus, the Red Herring offers a vegetarian restaurant on Monday through Friday from 10 to 3 p.m. In addition to serving vegetarian options, the chapel hosts numerous concerts, poetry slams and student productions for the public.

APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2011

Movies with an Appetite

the217.com

Raspberry chocolate croissants pair well with An Education

by Barbara Davidson

’m not sure what it is about An Education, but I can’t stop thinking about it. Something about the film resonates with you for hours, even days, after you have seen it. Perhaps it is Carey Mulligan’s attention-demanding performance, the disjointed persona of Peter Sarsgaard or the universal desire to experience a life more exciting than one’s own. Whatever connects you to it, something about this film lingers after you step away from the screen. In this writer’s opinion, that is the sign of a great film. Framed as a coming-of-age story, Jenny is 16, going on 17, and ready to experience a new world. A smart, well-behaved girl on the surface, one can recognize the rebel bubbling beneath Jenny’s innocent exterior. After meeting David, her significantly older suitor, Jenny’s life soon gets caught in a whirlwind of jazz clubs, concerts and French cigarettes. Tossing aside her Latin books for a glamorous wardrobe, she lets David lead her through an awakening that stimulates her mind as well as her sexual prowess. Mulligan’s elation is contagious and makes the film just as exciting for the viewer. The only fault (which I feel can be somewhat overlooked) is the end. The conclusion of the film did not seem cohesive with the rest — I was put

Directions: 1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). 2. Unfold the puff pastry sheets onto a lightly floured surface. Cut each sheet into thirds along the folded lines. Roll each strip of dough out to about 16 inches long and cut each strip into thirds.

Used with permission from Garrett Lau and The Creative Commons

off slightly by the ending in that it seemed to be predictable when Jenny sought to be anything but. The film glamorizes the French culture through the fresh eyes of a young girl, so this week’s pairing is none other then the delectable classic, the croissant. With a variety of possibilities, any croissant would go beautifully with a film as a flaky treat. I personally enjoy the pairing of chocolate and fruit. If you don’t like raspberry, this can easily be substituted for another fruit. However, keep in mind that the recipe calls for a jam — not a jelly — which is made from whole fruits and bakes better.

Raspberry Pain au Chocolat (Raspberry Chocolate Croissants)

Ingredients: » 1 (17.25 oz) package frozen puff pastry, thawed » 6 tablespoons chocolate hazelnut spread » 3 tablespoons all-fruit raspberry jam » 1 egg beaten » 1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar for dusting (optional)

3. Spread some of the hazelnut spread onto one half of each rectangle to within ½ inch of the edge. Spread about ½ teaspoon of the raspberry jam over the hazelnut spread. Brush the edges with egg, and fold over the other side to enclose the filling. Press the edges firmly to seal. Repeat with the remaining rectangles. Use a sharp knife to cut five slits across the top of each pastry, and place them on baking sheets, spaced 2 inches apart. 4. Bake for 18 minutes in the oven, or until golden brown. Cool on racks. Dust with confectioners’ sugar when cooled if desired.

2nd Annual Halfway to Halloween Costume Party Meet Illinois’ own Morganette, Katherine Great Cocktails ~ Good Food ~ Good Times It’s Captain Morgan’s 2nd annual Halfway to Halloween Costume Party. Come dressed in your wildest, craziest or scariest costume for your chance to win a limo ride and two tickets to Wrigley Field. Go to the217.com for location and online entry details. PARTY RESPONSIBLY – CAPTAIN’S ORDERS!® CAPTAIN MORGRAN Original Spiced Rum. Puerto Rican Rum With Spices and Other Natural Flavors. 35% Alc/Vol. ©2011 Captain Morgan Norwalk, CT. buzz

ARTS

ENTERTAINMENT

buzz GUIDE TO

EBERTFEST by buzz Movies Staff

METROPOLIS 154 MIN W: 7 PM

I’m not going to tell you why you should see Metropolis. It’s a 1927 German silent film that presents a dystopian future fraught with overblown capitalist class divisions. If you’re into that kind of stuff, then you already know about the stunning visuals, the groundbreaking special effects and the newly “re-discovered” print (found in 2009) that will be exhibited at Ebertfest this year. What I am going to tell you is why you need to see this particular screening of Metropolis. The film will be accompanied by a live performance from Alloy Orchestra, an ensemble that rescores classic silent films. It plays synths as well as “found” instruments made out of garbage. One of their keyboardists plays guitar for Mission of Burma (which, as buzz music editor Adam Barnett pointed out to me, is a “pretty big huge deal”) In short: Alloy Orchestra is totally awesome. They’re dynamic, talented and profoundly intelligent. I can’t say enough good things about these guys. If you only see one show at the festival, see this one. There’s a reason they’re kicking off the festival, kiddos. — Nick Martin

45365 90 MIN F: 1 PM

I can’t say for sure whether you should see Natural Selection. I haven’t seen it yet. Then again, not many people have. The winner of this year’s SXSW film festival (the 2011 one) has yet to be distributed for national release. There’s an industry term for a film like this: “Hot Shit.” (Likely, this is not a real industry term, but it could be). What I do know: It’s a dark comedy, and the poster is hilarious. Here’s Ebert’s synopsis: “Robbie Pickering’s spectacular debut, Natural Selection, a multifaceted comedy about a woman who tracks down the drugged-out escaped convict who she believes was the result of her husband’s long-ago sperm donation.” It sounds really funny, no? I think so. That’s why I’ll see it this Wednesday, and I’ll write a review of it for the cowardly reader afraid to see it himself (or herself—cowards can come from either sex). See you next week, cowards! — Nick Martin

UMBERTO D 89 MIN TR: 1 PM

ME AND ORSON WELLES 109 MIN F: 4 PM

Umberto D is an Italian neo-realist classic from 1952 directed by Vittorio De Sica. The film follows Umberto Domenico Ferrari (Carlo Battisti), an elderly man living in Rome trying to survive on his small state pension. His merciless landlady (Lina Gennari) is constantly threatening to evict him from the small room he rents, and Umberto sells some of his possessions in an attempt to raise money to pay for the room. In his desperation, Umberto begins to contemplate suicide. De Sica is often heralded as the principal filmmaker of neo-realist cinema, a movement that was committed to portraying the real, unembellished experiences of people living in post-war Italy. Michael Wilmington of the Chicago Tribune calls Umberto D a “film that lets life flood into our souls.” The film is frequently featured on compilations listing the greatest works of cinema, including TIME Magazine’s All-Time 100 Movies. David Denby of The New Yorker says, “despite its bleak outlook, the movie is charged with surprising touches of wit and humor, and the footage shot on the Roman streets is extraordinarily beautiful.” In Italian with English subtitles. — Tracy Woodley

MY DOG TULIP 83 MIN TR: 3:30PM

My Dog Tulip chronicles the 14-year relationship of a man and his dog. The dog, Tulip, is unique, and her owner strives every day to provide for her needs. The film was written, directed and animated by Paul and Sandra Fierlinger and adapted from British author J.R. Ackerly’s novel of the same name. My Dog Tulip is a distinguished work in the animated field, as it is the first animated feature ever to be entirely hand drawn and painted using paperless computer technology. Ebert wrote, “The film is animated, but not intended for children. It is told from and by an adult sensibility that understands loneliness, gratitude and the intense curiosity we have for other lives, man or beast. My Dog Tulip has no stupid plot, no contrived suspense.” — Thomas Bruch

buzz

Lying on her stomach, looking tentatively at the bright yellow miniature living room, her face resembles anything but the colorful flowers on her blouse. The woman in subject is Lena Dunham, who wrote, starred and directed last year’s eccentric Tiny Furniture. The film follows Aura (Dunham) as she comes home after college with nothing to show but a film theory degree and a YouTube video with 357 hits. She reunites with her passive-aggressive mother Siri (Laurie Simmons) and witty little sister Nardine (Grace Dunham) to embark on an awkward but brutally realistic journey for the pursuit of purpose. On a $25,000 budget, the winner of Best Narrative at the SXSW Film Festival finds emotional gravity in Aura’s struggle through entering the real world, perhaps because it is really a construction of Dunham’s own life. In fact, Dunham’s real-life mother and sister were recruited to play the respective roles in the film. The film is embedded with Dunham’s dry humor and unusual perspectives, making it a semi-autobiographical work that’s both deeply personal and captivating. Delightfully quirky, charmingly small and beautifully honest, Tiny Furniture is the showcase to Dunham’s raw and refreshing talent as a promising filmmaker. — Alice Chang

This is how I would try and pick up a cute girl wearing horn rimmed glasses and a Wilco t-shirt at an Urbana house party: “Did you read Winesburg, Ohio in American lit. class? Didn’t you like how it proved that anyone who lives in a small town is a tiny, isolated refuge of hard-to-articulate happiness/melancholy/hope/defeat/love/ hatred? Me, too! We should date! How about I take you to a movie at Ebertfest this week? It’s a documentary called 45365. The film follows residents of Sidney, Ohio, and their trials and tribulations faced in 21st-century America. My favorite film critic, Todd VanDerWerff from the A.V. Club (did I mention I read the A.V. Club?) describes it thus: ‘The cinematography is frequently stunning. To a degree, it’s easy to make a landscape look good, particularly at sunrise or sunset, but the Ross brothers capture all manner of events, from demolition derbies to football games to rock concerts, and make them look gorgeous.’ Also, Sufjan Stevens’ music is in the trailer. It’s on Friday, at 1 p.m.! Do you want to go with me? No? You’ll be tired the night before because your boyfriend bought tickets to see The Walkmen/New Pornographers for the night before? Oh, that’s a bummer. Sorry I wasted you’re time. I’m going to go dance because Jack put ‘Brother Sport’ on the DJ’s iPod.” — Nick Martin

NATURAL SELECTION 89 MIN W: 10:30 PM

TINY FURNITURE 98 MIN TR: 8:00PM

Me and Orson Welles is the most recent work from writer/director Richard Linklater (Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, School of Rock). The film explores the relationship between young Richard Samuels (Zac Efron) and famed director Orson Welles (Christian McKay) during the theater production of Julius Caesar in 1937 New York City. Richard is a scrappy high school kid with acting aspirations who is cast on a whim by the brilliant Welles. Richard soon finds out the excitement, humor and heartbreak that accompanies every Broadway production. Linklater’s film received little commercial notoriety at the time of its release, but critics fell in love with backstage interaction leading up to the play and the tourde-force performance from McKay. Ebert wrote: “The impersonation of Welles by Christian McKay is the centerpiece of the film, and from it, all else flows. We can almost accept that this is the Great Man.” — Thomas Bruch

ONLY YOU 108 MIN F: 8:30 PM

One of the legendary veteran filmmakers appearing at this year’s Ebertfest is the 84-year-old Norman Jewison. His 1994 charming romantic comedy, Only You, featuring Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey, Jr., will be shown on Friday, April 29. Jewison directed such diverse and popular films as The Hurricane (1999), Moonstruck (1987), A Soldier’s Story (1984), Fiddler on the Roof (1971), The Thomas Crown Affair (1968) and the Oscar-winning Best Picture In the Heat of the Night (1967). Tomei plays Faith Corvatch, a young woman who believes she’s been fated to find her soul mate because his name was once being revealed to her by a Ouija board. Destiny strikes as she travels to Italy where she finally meets the man of her fondest dreams, played by Downey Jr. The film also stars Bonnie Hunt, Fisher Stevens and Billy Zane. Diane Drake wrote this screenplay, and the film was shot by the great Swedish cinematographer Sven Nykvist. — Syd Slobodnik

ARTS

ENTERTAINMENT

buzz GUIDE TO

EBERTFEST by buzz Movies Staff

METROPOLIS 154 MIN W: 7 PM

45365 90 MIN F: 1 PM

UMBERTO D 89 MIN TR: 1 PM

ME AND ORSON WELLES 109 MIN F: 4 PM

MY DOG TULIP 83 MIN TR: 3:30PM

buzz

TINY FURNITURE 98 MIN TR: 8:00PM

the217.com

A SMALL ACT 98 MIN SAT: 11 AM

NATURAL SELECTION 89 MIN W: 10:30 PM

APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2011

ONLY YOU 108 MIN F: 8:30 PM

HBO puts out a lot of great stuff. Dramas, comedy (stand-up, scripted and improvised), sports, softcore pornography, you name it! HBO generally makes smart TV for smart people, and it produced A Small Act. Like Life Above All, the film that screens immediately afterward, A Small Act is set in Africa — Kenya, to be exact. Ebert describes it: “The heartwarming documentary A Small Act centers on the life story of Chris Mburu, who, as a small boy living in a mud house in a Kenyan village, had his primary and secondary education paid for by a Swedish woman. This cost her $15 a month. They had never met. He went on to the University of Nairobi, graduated from Harvard Law School, and is today a United Nations Human Rights Commissioner.” Unlike Life Above All (total bummer), this film sounds really uplifting and positive. Perhaps it will make you grateful for the wonderful education opportunities presented to you at your university? — Nick Martin

LIFE, ABOVE ALL 100 MIN SAT: 2 PM

Do you like films that make you cry? Movies like Children of Men, Toy Story 3 or Basketball? Then do I have the tear-jerker for you. Oliver Schmitz’s Life, Above All is a South African film nominated for Best Foreign Film (it didn’t make it into the final five, probably because it’s so sad). Here’s Ebert’s succinct summary: “Life, Above All takes place entirely within a South African township, one with moderate prosperity and well-tended homes. It centers on the 12-year-old Chanda, who takes on the responsibility of holding her family together after her baby sister dies. Her mother is immobilized by grief, her father by drink, and a neighbor woman helps her care for two younger siblings.” The film is also about AIDS, which is also something that will make me (you too, probably) cry. But, like all sad movies (take, for example, City of God), after you watch it, you feel cleansed with empathy, perhaps kinder for trying to experience a point of view wrought with pain. Watching sad movies also makes you look good in front of the chicks. So that’s a reason to see it, too. — Nick Martin

LEAVES OF GRASS 105 MIN SAT: 9:30 PM

I remember when the trailer for this movie was first released, and I thought it was a Walt Whitman biopic. The titular grass refers to drugs, with Edward Norton playing a redneck drug dealer who fakes his own death. He also plays the dealer’s identical twin, a professor who escaped his roots but is now sucked back into the drama of small town life and crime. The film boasts an impressive cast which includes Norton, Richard Dreyfuss, Susan Sarandon, Keri Russell. Tim Blake Nelson directed and acts in the picture, and he is the special guest for this film. Perhaps best known for playing dumb rednecks himself, Nelson has a talent for dark humor in his acting and his directing. Leaves of Grass promises to be an entertaining way to spend a Saturday evening. — Katherine O’Brien

I AM LOVE 120 MIN SAT: 9:30 PM

Luca Guadagnino’s 2010 film I Am Love is a tale of passion. Tilda Swinton plays Emma Recchi, the Russian wife of Tancredi Recchi (Pippo Delbono), heir to a wealthy Milanese textile dynasty. During a dinner party, Emma meets Antonio (Edoardo Gabbriellini), a chef who is a friend and business partner with her son. Later, she visits Antonio’s restaurant — the two of them become attracted to one another and begin a steamy affair. Swinton, who co-produced the film, received unanimously positive reviews of her portrayal of Emma. Betsy Sharkey of the Los Angeles Times said, “Swinton is one of the finest actresses working in contemporary cinema, but Guadagnino, who developed the project with her in mind, has created a film that literally luxuriates in her talents.” Roger Ebert called it “an amazing film. It is deep, rich, human. It is not about rich and poor, but about old and new. It is about the ancient war between tradition and feeling.” The film was nominated at the Golden Globe Awards for Best Foreign Film and at the Academy Awards for Best Costume Design. In Italian with English subtitles. — Tracy Woodley

LOUDER THAN A BOMB 99 MIN SU:12:00

Poetry can be boring. Poetry can be tame. Sonnets are often stuffy, and Shakespeare totally lame. But slam poetry is fucking badass. Louder Than a Bomb chronicles the 2008 Chicago slam competition of the same name. The documentary focuses on Steinmetz, a rough inner-city school that fielded its first slam poetry team in 2007 and won the entire competition in a huge upset. The various students who make up the team are presented not only in the prism of the competition, but also in the context of their personal struggles and home life. Director Jon Siskel (Gene Siskel’s nephew) focuses on the performances themselves, which contain electric streaks of intensity and lyric expertise that wow and shake audiences. The documentary found theatrical release last year, but you should all see it here at Ebertfest. Who knows? Maybe it will inspire you to spit some rhymes of your own. — Danny Wicentowski

Week of Fri., April 29 - Thurs., May 05, 2011

Ebertfest Encore Schedule My Dog Tulip (NR) Fri: (5:00PM) and Sat: (1:00PM) The Complete Metropolis (NR) Fri: 7:30PM and Sun: (2:00 PM) Frozen River (R) Sat: (3:00 PM) My Winnipeg (NR) Sat: (5:30 PM) Tiny Furniture (NR) Sat & Sun: 7:30 PM Sita Sings the Blues (NR) Sun: 12:00PM and Tue: 7:30PM Playtime (NR) Sun: (5:00 PM) Synecdoche, New York (R) Mon: 7:30 PM I Am Love (Io Sono l’amore) (R) Subtitled Thu: 7:30PM Even Ebertfest pass-holders must buy tickets

Other Films 2nd Annual Feminist Film Festival (NR) Free Event Wed: 7:30 PM Walking Life (R) $3 Late Night Show Fri: 10:30 PM, Sat: 10:00 PM, and Thu: 10:00 PM All titles digitally presented.

Take the CUMTD Bus www.theCUart.com

126 W. Church St. Champaign

SAVOY 16 217-355-3456

S. Neil St. (Rt. 45) at Curtis Rd.

$5.75

www.GQTI.com

BARGAIN TWILIGHT D A I LY 4 : 0 0 - 6 : 0 0 P M * excludes Digital 3D & Fathom events

SHOWTIMES 4/29 - 5/5

SPRING MOVIES

Saturday & Sunday 9 & 10 AM ALPHA AND OMEGA (PG)

No passes S Stadium seating

METROPOLITAN OPERA IL TROVATORE LIVE SAT. 4/30 12:00 PM MEMPHIS BROADWAY MUSICAL TUE. 5/3 7:30 PM

S FAST FIVE (PG-13) 11:00, 12:45, 1:45, 3:30, 4:30, 6:15, 7:15, 9:00, 10:00 FRI/SAT LS 11:45 3D HOODWINKED TOO (PG) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 1:10, 3:10, 5:10, 7:10, 9:10 FRI/SAT LS 11:10 HOODWINKED TOO (PG) 11:10 AM S PROM (PG) 11:50, 2:10, 4:30, 6:50, 9:10 FRI/SAT LS 11:30 S DYLAN DOG: DEAD OF NIGHT (PG-13) 12:00, 2:25, 4:55, 7:25, 9:50 WATER FOR ELEPHANTS (PG-13) 11:05, 1:50, 4:25, 7:05, 9:45 MADEA’S BIG HAPPY FAMILY (PG-13) 11:55, 2:20, 4:45, 7:20, 9:40 FRI/SAT LS 12:00 S AFRICAN CATS (G) 11:00, 1:00, 3:00, 5:00, 7:00, 9:00 FRI/SAT LS 11:00 3D RIO (G) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 11:20, 1:40, 4:00, 6:20, 8:40 FRI/SAT LS 11:00 S RIO (G) 12:10, 2:30, 4:50, 7:10, 9:30 FRI/SAT LS 11:50 SCREAM 4 (R) 12:05, 2:40, 5:05, 7:35, 10:05 FRI/SAT LS 12:35 THE CONSPIRATOR (PG-13) 11:00, 1:35, 4:15, 6:55, 9:35 HANNA (PG-13) FRI/SUN/MON/WED/TH 11:05, 1:30, 4:05, 6:35, 9:05 FRI/SAT LS 11:35 SAT 4:05, 6:35, 9:05 TUE 11:05, 1:30, 4:05 SOUL SURFER (PG) 11:45, 2:05, 4:20, 6:40, 8:55 FRI/SAT LS 11:10 HOP (PG) 11:25, 1:40, 3:55, 6:10, 8:25 FRI/SAT LS 10:40 SOURCE CODE (PG-13) 12:40, 3:05, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45 FRI/SAT LS 12:00

buzz

ARTS

ENTERTAINMENT

VENTURE INTO THE WOODS The real happily-ever-afters of our favorite fairy tales by Kelsey McGrath he Champaign Urbana Theatre Company and WCIA present Stephen Sondheim’s outlandish fairy tale, Into the Woods. The production follows a baker and his wife who wants a child and must carry out the bidding of the witch next store to do so. With the help of Jack, Little Red and Cinderella, the couple’s happily-ever-after is in sight. Into the Woods will be performed at Parkland College Theatre on April 21-23 and 28-30 at 7:30 p.m. Matinee shows will be held on April 24 and 30 at 2:30 p.m. with tickets at $16 for adults and $12 for students. Directed by Jeffrey A. Chandler, the show has costumes, effects, props and a number of fables from the Brothers Grimm to immerse the audience in a magical realm. In the first act, the audience sees familiar characters from fairy tales get their wishes granted, complete with the storybook endings. However, disaster strikes, and the consequences of their actions return to plague our stars with catastrophic results. What seems to be a contemptuous dream becomes a moving lesson about the importance of community and a real look at the meaning of “happily ever after.” The show has “extremely difficult music,” said

It would take 8 hours to run to the end

Sun, May 1, 11am-2pm Lincoln Square Village Mall, Urbana Free Admission and Parking

Students, families and everyone in between are invited to the third annual celebration featuring cultural food, performances, arts and crafts, children’s You could activities and cultural educational booths. Explore the many different sides listen to of Asian Pacific American Heritage right here in Champaign-Urbana. ASIAN AMERICAN CULTURAL CENTER

Office of Inclusion and Intercultural Relations University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

130 songs in that time Paid for by the City of Paid for, in part, by the Student Cultural Programming Fee (SCPF). For a complete list of our co-sponsors:

go.illinois.edu/aapi

buzz

easy, and as we piece the show together this week, everyone is having to work very hard to make everything work correctly,” said Chandler. “The show is a non-stop journey, and the pace is fast, so I can guarantee the audience will not have a dull moment.” Chandler has been a director for the Champaign Urbana Theatre Company for eight years, with this being his seventh production. He served as president of the company from 2008 to 2009 and also has experience as a board member. He has directed various groups from the University of Illinois and the Celebration Company at the Station Theatre. “I have performed, designed and produced all around town for [more than] 10 years,” said Chandler. He said he hopes the audience “can pull a sense of wonder and excitement mixed with an honest tale of self-discovery and community responsibility” from the viewing experience. “True fairy tales simply do not exist,” said Chandler. “In the end, life has so much more to offer than happily ever after.” Tickets can be purchased online at www.cutc. org or by calling the company at 344-3884. Sponsors of the show include Massey Family Dentistry, Dr. J. Barry Howell, and 93.5/95.3 Connect FM.

Used with permission from the ChampaignUrbana Theatre Company

PARKLAND COLLEGE THEATRE

LISTEN TO THE FACTS.

Asian American Pacific Islander Heritage Month

2011

YEAR ANNIVERSARY

orchestra director Jeff Dare. Usual contemporary musicals have about 32 pieces to the score — Into the Woods has 72 pieces that Dare said have “complicated parts” and “difficult keys and funky meters.” “The orchestra is practically playing nonstop throughout the show,” said Dare. Dare described the music as “virtuosic,” meaning that the score of the musical is closer to classical scores than the recent rock trend on Broadway. Dare has been acting with the company since the summer of 2010. He described the shift from performer to musical director and the enormous amount of time required to direct music for a show. “It takes quite a bit of dedication. But at the same time, it’s totally worth it,” said Dare. The week prior to the show premiering, known as tech week, proved to be a difficult time, but Dare said, “Our people are doing an exemplary job and taking care of everything they need to take care of.” Chandler also praised the cast, which includes 21 characters, a full children’s ensemble and an orchestra, for its hard work and effort. “This has been a very challenging show to put together. Making effects look like ‘magic’ is not

BRIEFBOX

Urbana Arts Grant and the Urbana Business Association

2400 W. BRADLEY AVE., C.

WHEN: April 28-30 at 7 p.m.

April 30 at 2:30 p.m.

TICKETS: $8 - $16

LISTEN TO THE FACTS. Our broadcast reaches a 45 mile radius

5mi. 10 15 20 25 30 35 40 45mi.

Good thing my pizza’s already in the oven!

APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2011

the217.com

Children’s author doles out advice Kate Klise discusses the life of a writer By Brittany Smith ark humor and compassion for people has drawn many readers’ attention to the work of children’s book author Kate Klise. Klise will be coming to the Champaign Public Library on April 28 at 7 p.m. to give wisdom and advice to young authors and readers. The event is free and intended for children in third through fifth grade, but people of all ages are encouraged to attend. “It helps kids realize that authors are real people, like themselves, with real lives,” said Amanda Raklovits, a librarian for Champaign Public Library. “Kids come away encouraged to share their own ideas in writing, especially when they see that even the best authors may have struggled along the way.” Klise has been visiting schools and libraries since 1998 when her first book, Regarding the Fountain, came out. “The good thing about writing for kids is you don’t have to sell them on the joy or the importance of reading or any of that bullshit,” Klise said. “They already like a good story — they like to read them, and they like to make them up.” Klise’s sister Sarah illustrates the novels, a collaboration that they have kept since they worked

on their first book when they were 10 and 11 years old in their home in Peoria. “When we were little, we shared a bedroom, so we would just pass the paper back and forth,” said Klise. Along with writing children’s books, Klise worked at People Magazine for 16 years, covering subjects from Brad Pitt to Timothy McVeigh. She said that if you want to be a novelist, “you really do have to have a backup.” When asked which of her books is her favorite, Klise had a hard time choosing, but she settled on a novel called Grounded. Filled with dark humor, Grounded is about a young girl whose mother grounds her so that she cannot go on a trip with her father, brother and sister, who all die when their plane crashes. Following the grim accident, the young protagonist gets involved in a much grander plot, coming away with many valuable lessons. Klise admits that some of her books have a dark aspect to them. “Kids, like grownups, are drawn to what scares them,” she said, likening the fear to the “safescary” experience of riding a roller coaster. “I visited some schools in New York in the spring, and there was one school where they didn’t want me to discuss death,” said Klise. “So that meant

no Grounded, no Dying to Meet You and no Over My Dead Body,” she said, listing off some of her most popular works. “And so I’m like, ‘Okay, no Charlotte’s Web?’” As most writers for children’s books are wary to talk about death, Klise embraces the inevitable subject and presents it in a manner that does not glorify or fear death, but shows acceptance. “[Death] is the ultimate ending to every story,” she said. “The reason we read is to make sense of what this life thing is all about.” The fourth installment of her most popular series, 43 Old Cemetery Road, is titled Till Death Do Us Bark. It will be on the shelves in spring of 2012. Registration is not required to attend Klise’s visit to the Champaign Public Library. For more information, call the Children’s Services department at 403-2030.

briefbox

Champaign public library 200 W. Green St., C. when: April 28, 7 p.m. admission: free

Used with permission from Kate Klise

2010

BEST PLACE TO BUY SHOES

HEEL-TO-TOE

TRIVIA NIGHT

every tuesday

(217) 398-1097 memphisonmain.com

7pm

$3- 22 oz. Bud, Bud Light, Miller Light $2- Wild Turkey $3- 32 oz. “Loose Tap” Beer buzz

CALENDAR

XXXX ## - ##, 2011

Complete listing available at

THE217.COM/CALENDAR

SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at the217.com/calendar • E-mail: send your notice to calendar@the217.com • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 28 live music Jazz in the Courtyard Illini Union, U, 12pm Kilborn Alley and Free Happy Hour with Dan Hubbard Memphis on Main, C, 6pm Billy Galt and Jeff Kerr AnSun, C, 7pm Kyle Gass of Tenacious D Highdive, C, 8pm, $12 The New Pornographers Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $25 Mike Ingram Emerald City Lounge, 9pm The Sugar Prophets and Champaign-Urbana BBQ Open Blues Jam KoFusion, C, 10pm

dj Milk and Cookies at Klub Kam’s Kam’s, C, 8pm DJ BJ Dance Night Po’ Boys, U, 8pm Here Come the Regulars Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm Open Deck Night Radio Maria, C, 10pm DJ Luniks Firehaus, C, 10pm, $5 Stitches at The Clark Bar The Clark Bar, C, 10pm House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm

RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm

ARTfusion Douglass Branch Library, C, 4pm

movies

Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Hot Yoga Evolve Fitness Club, C, 12pm, $10 Yin Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 7pm, $12

Srugim Viewing The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7:30pm

stage The Light in the Piazza The Station Theatre, U, 8pm, $10 Open Stage at Red Herring Red Herring Coffeehouse, U, 9pm Insurgent Theatre Presents: Ad Seg Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, U, 9pm

mind/body/spirit

classes and workshops Tango Quick Start Channing-Murray Foundation, U, 6pm, $25 Latin Dance Parkland College, C, 6:30pm, $55

food and drink

Krannert Uncorked Krannert Center for the Ebertfest 2011: 13th Performing Arts, U, 5pm Annual Roger Ebert Film Cosmo Coffee Hours Festival University YMCA, C, Virginia Theatre, C, $11-$13 7:30pm

festivals

art exhibit

FRIDAY 29

U of I Landscapes Old Vic Art Gallery, C, 10am

live music

Lukas Clide Illini Union, U, 12pm “Miracle within a Miracle: Jazz Fest Johannes Reuchlin and Champaign Central High the Jewish Book Contro- School, C, 5:30pm, $5 versy” ‘Appy Hour U of I Main Library, U, Silvercreek, U, dance music 8:30am 5:30pm, Swing Dance $2-$10 recreation Illini Union, U, 9pm Happy Hour Show with Mike Ingram - ChamLunch Time Skate Dan Hubbard paign Ice Arena, C, 11:15am, Memphis on Main, C, Emerald City Lounge, C, $0-$5 6pm 9pm Accappellapalooza campus activities Foellinger Auditorium, U, concert Nintendo Wii 7:30pm La Calisto Illini Union, U, 1pm PBS Krannert Center for the Living LEAN Class Huber’s West End Store, Performing Arts, U, Illini Union, U, 3pm C, 8pm 7:30pm, $10-$24 Caleb Cook fashion Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, karaoke Yarn n Yak 9pm DJ Bange Rantoul Public Library, Kilborn Alley Blues Band Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, Rantoul, 7pm Memphis on Main, C, 8:30pm 9pm kids and families RockStarz Karaoke: Whitney Morgan and Presented by Seize A Mo- Baby Time the 78’s ment Productions Douglass Branch Library, C, Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm, Senator’s Bar & Grill, Sa10:30am $7 voy, 9pm Creative Movement for 90’s Daughter at Jupiters Liquid Courage Karaoke Young People at the Crossing Memphis on Main, C, Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Jupiter’s II, C, 9pm 3:30pm, $72 10pm, $5 14

buzz

museum exhibit

dj House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm DJ Tommy Williams Chester Street, C, 9pm, $3 DJ Mella D Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm DJ Delayney Highdive, C, 10pm, $5 DJ Cal Emmerich Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm

Open Gym Volleyball Champaign County Brookens Administration Center, U, 5:30pm, $1 Public Skate Ice Arena, C, 7:30pm, $0-$5

D-ROKA Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm, $3

House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space campus activities Police Drag Show: Pink Friday Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm Illini Union, U, 8:30pm, DJ Randall Ellison $5-$7 Chester Street, C, 9pm, $3 DJ Belly mind/body/spirit Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm Yoga Goth Night concert Krannert Art Museum and The Clark Bar, C, 10pm La Calisto Kinkead Pavilion, C, 12pm DJ Space Police Krannert Center for the Vinyasa Krama Yoga with Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm Performing Arts, U, Don Briskin dance music 7:30pm, $10-$24 Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12 Urbana Country Dancers karaoke Contra Dance miscellaneous RockStarz Karaoke: Phillips Recreation Center, Presented by Seize A Mo- Sex Out Loud Resource U, 6:30pm, $4-$5 ment Productions Fair Dance Against AIDS Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaIllini Union, U, 10am Chester Street, C, 9pm, $5 voy, 9pm Salsa Night with DJ Dr. J classes and Karaoke at Po’ Boys Radio Maria, C, 10pm. workshops Po’ Boys, U, 9pm DJ Bange Karaoke Ditch The Chill Pill: Learn- concert Phoenix, C, 9pm ing Real Ways To Relax La Calisto Illini Union, U, 7pm Krannert Center for the stage Performing Arts, U, food and drink The Light in the Piazza 7:30pm, The Station Theatre, U, Half Price Happy Hour $10-$24 8pm, $15 Emerald City Lounge, 5pm

festivals

SATURDAY 30

Ebertfest 2011: 13th Annual Roger Ebert Film live music Festival Jazz Fest Virginia Theatre, C, $11-$13 Champaign Central High School, C, 5:30pm, $5 art exhibit LeRoy White Band U of I Landscapes Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, Old Vic Art Gallery, C, 9am 10am Black Ridge Road Band Iron Post, U, 6pm, $3 museum exhibit Live Jazz with Panache “Miracle within a Miracle: Jim Gould Restaurant, C, Johannes Reuchlin and 7pm the Jewish Book Contro- David Howie versy” Huber’s West End Store, U of I Main Library, U, C, 8pm 8:30am Mandi Layne and The IBEX: Search for the Edge Lost Highway with local of the Solar System favorite: Jared Ketterman William M. Staerkel Plan- Memphis on Main, C, 9pm etarium, C, 8pm Vaudevileins CD Release with Withnail and Faster recreation Forward Adult Rat Hockey Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 9pm, $5 Ice Arena, C, 3:15pm, Surreal Deal $6-$9 Boomerang’s Bar and Grill, Stick and Puck Beginner U, 9pm Hockey Leroy White Band Ice Arena, C, 5pm, Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, $6-$9 9pm

kids and families

Kids Arts and Crafts Playshop Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 11:15am, $96 ArtsFusion/Music and Motion Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 11:30am, $48 Fairytale Ballet with Miss Donna Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12:15pm, $72 DIY Weekend Wizard: F.I.N.D. out about your brain! Orpheum Children’s Science Museum, C, 1pm Family Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 1:15pm, $6-$12 Japanese Storytelling Urbana Free Library, U, 3:15pm

House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm

fundraisers

festivals

Taste of Hawaii of Urbana-Champaign Asian American Cultural Center, U, 1pm, $3-$5

Ebertfest 2011: 13th Annual Roger Ebert Film Festival Virginia Theatre, C, $11-$13

mind/body/spirit

campus activities

Yoga Fundamentals Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 9am, $12 Kripalu Yoga: Meditakaraoke tion in Motion with Anne RockStarz Karaoke: Garcia Presented by Seize A Mo- Amara Yoga & Arts, U, ment Productions 2:30pm, $12 Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaSaturday Power Flow with voy, 9pm Corrie Proksa Amara Yoga & Arts, U, open mic 4pm, $12 Poetry for the People classes and Issue Release Party and workshops Open Mic Poetry Slam Urbana-Champaign InBasic Bookbinding dependent Media Center, The I.D.E.A. Store, C, 1pm, U, 7pm $25

concert La Calisto Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U, 3pm, $10-$24 Legally Blonde the Musical Assembly Hall, C, 7:30pm, $38-$49

open mic Open Mic Night Phoenix, C, 9pm

stage Drag Show Chester Street, C, 10pm, $4

M and M: Midrash and Meal The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 6pm

game-playing Big Dave’s Trivia Night Cowboy Monkey, C, 7pm Trivia Night The Blind Pig Brewery, C, 7pm

literary Midwest Zine Fest Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, U, 1pm

festivals

food and drink

Ebertfest 2011: 13th Annual Roger Ebert Film Festival Virginia Theatre, C, $11-$13

Sensational Saturday Tasting Sun Singer Wine & Spirits, C, 12pm Half Price Happy Hour Emerald City Lounge, 5pm

social issues

SUNDAY 1

Kids at Krannert Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 2pm

art exhibit U of I Landscapes Old Vic Art Gallery, C, 10am

literary Midwest Zine Fest Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, U, 1pm

live music Live Jazz with Panache Jim Gould Restaurant, C, 7pm La Snacks Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 10pm

AWARE Meeting McKinley Presbyterian Church and Foundation, C, 5:15pm

kids and families

mind/body/spirit Slow Flow Yoga Sundays with Luna Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 2pm, $12

Hatha Flow Yoga with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12 Prenatal Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30pm, $12

recreation

classes and workshops Salsa Dance Lessons: Beginners Capoeira Academy, C, 6pm, $5 Salsa Dance Lessons: Intermediate/Advanced Capoeira Academy, C, 7:30pm, $5

Monday 2 live music One Dollar Wild Mondays Canopy Club, U, 10am Jesse Johnson Illini Union, U, 12pm

dj House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm DJ Randall Ellison Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 Eletro/Industrial Night Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 ‘80s Night with DJ Mingram Highdive, C, 10pm

karaoke RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 10pm

open mic Open Mic Night Memphis on Main, C, 8pm

stage Monday Night Comedy Illini Union, U, 7pm

game-playing

Lunch Time Skate Ice Arena, C, 11:15am, $0-$5 Freestyle Ice Arena, C, 4:30pm

Sarah McQuaid Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, U, 8pm, $10-$20 The Piano Man Canopy Club, U, 9pm

campus activities

Nintendo Wii Illini Union, U, 1pm Nutrition Walk In La Casa Cultural Latina, U, 5pm

House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm

game-playing

dance music

Bingo Night Memphis on Main, C, 10pm

8th Grade Dance Joe’s Brewery, C, 11pm

mind/body/spirit

An Evening with Styx Assembly Hall, C, 7:30pm, $32-$45

Tuesday Twos Champaign Public Library, C, 9:45am, 10:15am, 10:45am Walk-in Storytime and Creative Play Class Act, C, 2pm, $2 Goodnight Storyshop Champaign Public Library, C, 6:30pm

karaoke

lgbt

RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions The Corner Tavern, Monticello, 8pm Dragon Karaoke The Clark Bar, C, 9pm Rockstarz Karaoke Chester Street, C, 10pm

Rainbow Coffeehouse Etc. Coffee House, U, 6pm

Hatha Flow Yoga with Grace Giorgio Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12 Yoga Institute of CU Introduction Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 5:30pm, $14 Hatha Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30pm, $12 Yoga St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church and Campus Center, C, 7pm Tarot Reader Boltini Lounge, C, 7pm Restorative Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 7pm, $12 Prana Flow Yoga Living Yoga Center, U, 7:15pm, $15

classes and workshops Poetry Workshop Red Herring Coffeehouse, U, 7:30pm

Tuesday 3 live music

Alec Stern Illini Union, U, 12pm museum exhibit Go Waggaloo with Sarah “Miracle within a Miracle: Lee Guthrie and Johnny Irion Johannes Reuchlin and the Jewish Book Contro- Urbana Free Library, U, 7pm versy” Andy Moreillon U of I Main Library, U, Fat City Bar & Grill, C, 7pm 8:30am Craig Gaskin and Friends lectures Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 7:30pm From Auschwitz to ForDueling Guitars giveness Jupiter’s II, C, U of I Main Library, U, 8pm 5pm

concert

open mic Open Mic Tuesdays Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

movies AsiaLENS: In The Matter of Cha Jung Hee Spurlock Museum, U, 7pm Israeli Movie Club The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7:30pm

museum exhibit “Miracle within a Miracle: Johannes Reuchlin and the Jewish Book Controversy” U of I Main Library, U, 8:30am

campus activities Revive, Restore, Relax: Weston Wellness Weston Residence Hall, C, 3pm Knitting Club and Glee The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7pm

T-N-T Tuesday Night Trivia with Cara and Tanino Boltini Lounge, C, 7pm Trivia Tuesdays Memphis on Main, C, 7pm

kids and families

community Locals’ Night Po’ Boys, U, 4pm

buz z ’s WEEK AHEAD

April 28 - may 4, 2011

the217.com

Parkland College Graphic Design Student Juried Exhibition 2011 Parkland Art Gallery

2400 W. Bradley Ave., C.

Saturday, May 7

10 a.m. - 8 p.m.

See what graphic design students are doing in area colleges — for free! — Joe Lewis, Arts & Entertainment Editor

Daytrotter Barnstormer! Kalyx Center 442 E. 1300 North Rd., Monticello Friday, April 29 Doors: 5 p.m. Show: 6 p.m. Besides the fact that yours truly wrote a frogging awesome preview for it, there are also gonna be some good bands and a fire, but not the kind of fire that burns down your favorite restaurant — the good kind of fire that brings people together emotionally and possibly physically. — Adam Barnett, Music Editor

mind/body/spirit Hatha Flow Yoga with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12pm, $12 Awakening Yoga and Playtime for Kids with Kate Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 9am, $12 Yoga Institute of CU Experienced Beginner Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 5:30pm, $14 Introduction to Meditation Ananda Liina Yoga & Meditation Center, U, 7:30pm

classes and workshops Adult Pottery Class Boneyard Pottery, C, 9am, 6pm, $25 Cookbook Club Activities and Recreation Center (ARC), C, 12:15pm, $7 Real Computing Help Douglass Branch Library, C, 6pm

Wednesday 4

FREE WAter balloon fight!!!! Frat Park

Third and Chalmers, C.

Friday, April 29

4 p.m.

A few friends and I are working on a class project about digital media. To promote a product (it’s pizza), we’re planning a “demonstration”; a work of “performance art,” a “flash mob,” if you will. Essentially ... WE’RE HAVING A WATER BALLOON FIGHT AND EVERYONE’S INVITED! We’re going to get wet. Meet us at 4 p.m. at Frat Park (3rd and Chalmers). TOTALLY FREE; no RSVP necessary! Then, pick up some water balloons (when we say go, of course) and throw them at your friends. It’s gonna be that easy! Also, we’ll be videotaping the water balloon fight and turning it into a class project. So come out and join us, won’t you? Fun is expected; chaos is guaranteed. JUST SHOW UP! PLEASE COME SO I DON’T FAIL MY CLASS! — Nick Martin, Movies & TV

Editor

Champagne Brunch with a Diva Emerald City Lounge 118 North First St., C. 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. Cost: $9

Sunday, May 8

Brunch is absolutely delicious and is probably one of the best meals ever. There’s also a build-your-own Bloody Mary bar! Even though I’m not old enough to drink yet, I guess it would be cool to see what concoctions other people come up with? Whatever. I want to meet a Diva, and we’ll be best friends. — Amy Harwath, Community Editor

live music Kirby Kaiser Illini Union, U, 12pm

buzz

April 28 - May 4, 2011

the217.com

Donnie Heitler: Solo Piano Great Impasta, U, 6pm Martin Sexton Canopy Club, U, 6:30pm, $20 Live Irish Music Bentley’s Pub, C, 7pm

dj House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm DJ Tommy Williams Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 Country Night Highdive, C, 8pm DJ Randall Ellison Boltini Lounge, C, 9pm Old School Night Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm I Love The ‘90s with DJ Mingram Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm

Open Mic Comedy Night lgbt Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Lavender Graduation & LGBTA Awards Cermovies emony karaoke Second Annual Feminist Illini Union, U, RockStarz Karaoke: Film Festival 6pm Presented by Seize A Mo- The Art Theater, C, 7pm mind/body/spirit ment Productions campus activities Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaOpen Yoga Practice voy, 9pm Weekday Orthodox Min- Amara Yoga & Arts, U, RockStarz Karaoke: yan and Breakfast 5:30am, Presented by Seize A Mo- The Hillel Foundation, The $8 ment Productions Margie K. and Louis N. Co- Astanga Yoga Route 45 Wayside, Pesohen Center for Jewish Life, Living Yoga Center, U, tum, 8pm C, 7:30am 9am, $15 SuperStar Karaoke Yoga and Meditation game-playing AnSun, C, 9pm Club Class RockStarz Karaoke: CU64 Chess Club Asian American Cultural Presented by Seize A Mo- McKinley Presbyterian Center, U, 5pm ment Productions Church and Foundation, Wellness WednesFat City Bar & Grill, C,10pm C, 7pm day RockStarz Karaoke: Euchre Activities and Recreation Presented by Seize A Mo- Po’ Boys, U, 7pm Center (ARC), C, ment Productions 5:15pm kids and families Geovanti’s, C, 10pm classes and Outdoor Little School open mic workshops Earth Day and Growing Writ ‘n Rhymed Poetry Gardens Improv Workout Open Mic Anita Purves Nature CenClass Act, C, Women’s Resources Center, U, 3pm, 6:30pm, ter, C, 8:30pm $12-$24 $10

Our Library has

dance music

Salsa and Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, C, 8pm

420,000 megabytes

of music 1mb 1mb

1mb 1mb 1mb

1mb

1mb 1mb

1mb

BUDGET TRAVEL RICH INSIGHTS Purge your pores at a banya in Moscow

Free theater tix in London

Find the SMA$HED CA$H cab Answer 5 questions correctly Get $50 and a ride home

Snooze in a monastery with a chapel bar in France

Be one of the first to be featured in a new VIDEO GAME SHOW on the217.com Save o dinner withn free eats in Italy

Look for the Illini Taxi Express cab for your chance to play:

Ferry to a sacred isle with a red sand beach in Greece

5 winners each week. Go to: on.roughguides.com/win-book to enter for a chance to

WIN A FREE Rough Guides on a Budget travel book No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. residents 18 and over. Entries must be received no later than 11:59 PM PST each Thursday beginning April 18, 2011 until 11:59 PM PST June 30, 2011. Void where prohibited by law. See Official Rules at on.roughguides.com/win-book.

5x5.417RGU-1101.indd 1

buzz

Thursday, Friday and Saturday, APRIL 28, 29, 30 on Green Street between 2nd/6th OR Downtown Champaign near Virginia Theatre Watch for the SMA$HED CA$H video on

THE217.COM

Get out. Sound off. Champaign-Urbana.

next week!

4/12/11 12:36 PM

THE217.COM

CLASSIFIEDS

Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

Deadline:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Rates:

Billed rate: 43¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 37¢/word

Photo Sellers

30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

Garage Sales

30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

Fall 2011. Great location on the park. Private balconies. Fully furnished 3 bedrooms. Leather furniture. Flat screen TV. Hardwood ﬂoors. Parking, laundry, value pricing. $265/person. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

420

307, 310 E. White, C 307, 309 Clark, C

Fall 2011. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Starting from $360/mo. Behind County Market. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

H H

309 N. Busey – August 2011

2 BR Fully furnished, W/D, ethernet & parking. Close to Beckman. $310/person. Call Chris anytime. 841-1996 or 352-3182

509 Stoughton, C

Fall 2011 Near Grainger, spacious studios and 2 bedrooms, laundry, value pricing, parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

GREAT VALUE

306-308-309 White, C Fall 2011. Furnished studios, 1, 2, and 3 bedrooms. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking. Behind County Market. Starting at $265/person. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

HUGE!

H H

207/211 John C.

2 Bedrooms. Great Location, on-site laundry, parking. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

203 S. Sixth, C.

For Fall 2011. Large 3 and 4 bedrooms starting at $250/person. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

NEWLY REMODLED 503 - 505 - 508 White 2 Bedroom with den $790 3 Bedroom $830-950

theuniversity

Contact Andy at 217-369-2621

New Kitchens Hardwood Floors, Leather Furniture Flat-Screen TVS

group

universitygroupapartments.com 217-352-3182

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

Fall 2011 1 bedroom Location, location. New Kitchens and Flatscreen TV Covered parking, laundry, patios. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, Champaign

For Fall 2011. Extra large efﬁciency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, Champaign THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

509 E. White, C.

Fall 2011. Large Studio and 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, Champaign THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

theuniversity 309 S. First, C.

group

420

Furnished

602 E. Stoughton, C

1005 S. Second, Champaign

Fall 2011. Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet. 2 Bedrooms starting at $387/person. Parking available. Must see! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Fall 2011. Great Location, spacious studios. Secured building. Private parking, laundry on-site. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

705 W. Stoughton, U

111 E. Chalmers, Champaign

Fall 2011 2 and 3 bedroom apartments. Spacious living area. Communal balcony & great backyard. Plus a bar area in kitchen, dishwasher, washer/dryer in each unit, value pricing. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

John Street Apartments

58 E. John, C. Fall 2011. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwasher, center courtyard, onsite laundry, leather furniture, ﬂat screens, parking. Starting at $298/ person. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

NEW KITCHENS 307 - 309 - Healy Court 2+3 Bedrooms Starting at $343 per person

the217.com

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

1006 S. 3rd, Champaign

104 E. Armory, C.

203 Healey, Champaign

217-352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

420 APARTMENTS

Fall 2011. Location!! 4 bedroom, 2 bath. Flat screen TVs. Covered Parking. Laundry. $250/person. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Fall 2011 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1 and 2 bedrooms available. Garage offstreet parking, laundry, and value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Furnished/Unfurnished 2 & 3 bdrms. Near campus & downtown Champaign from $632/mo. Includes water, trash, parking, laundry facility, seasonal pool, all apts. have balconies.

Furnished

605 S. Fifth, C.

Courtyard on randolph < 713 S. randolph >

APARTMENTS

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

now leasing for 2011-12

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Action Ads

410 APARTMENTS

2 full baths universitygroupapartments.com 217-352-3182

2nd & Chalmers. 3 and 4 bedrooms, 2 Baths starting at $250/ person. Leather furniture. Flat screen TV. Remodeled kitchens. Walk-in closets. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

106 Daniel Champaign

For Fall 2011. 1, 2 bedroom. Mardi Gras balconies with New Kitchens. New furniture, parking, laundry. Starting at $375/person. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Old Town Champaign

510 S. Elm, C. Available Fall 2011. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood ﬂoors, laundry on-site, W/D, central air/heat, off-street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

CAPSTONE QUARTERS CONDOMINIUMS

Apartment Living Redeﬁned Now Leasing

for August

2011

$99 Security Deposit

Convenient

-Only 1.5 miles to Union -One block from bike path to campus -On-Site Management -22 Illini Bus route every 1/2 hour -Utility Package Available -Individual Leases

CALL US TODAY

217.FOR.RENT

CapstoneQuarters.com greenstrealty.com

Equipped -Private bedrooms each with own bath -Free cable & high speed internet -9 Foot ceilings with crown molding -Full size washer and dryer -Clubhouse with 24 hour ﬁtness center -31 seat theatre, free for residents -24 hour computer lab -Group study room & game room -Resort style pool -Fully furnished or unfurnished Professionally managed by

1091 N. Lincoln Ave. Urbana, IL 61801

www.jsmapts.com

INDEX

Furnished/Unfurnished

For leasing information, virtual tours, and more please visit:

Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

APARTMENTS

Great Apartments for Fall 2011

Place an Ad: 217 - 337 - 8337

APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2011

Many Great Campus Locations to Choose From! Studios-4 Bedrooms! Summer 2011 leases available!

Apartments 505 S. Fifth Street, Champaign, IL 61820 217-359-6108 Find JSM on Facebook! The JSM V.I.P. Program gives our residents exclusive discounts at local businesses!

buzz

APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2011

the217.com

DOIN’ IT WELL

by Jo SangEr and Ross Wantland

A COMMUNITY OF SUPPORT Dear Doin’ It Well, I find myself wondering lately if there are any campus support groups regarding STIs, and I thought you might be able to point me in the right place, given your column. I’m specifically interested in support groups of people who have STIs and who might be sharing similar struggles. I guess part of what I’m looking for would be for other people to share stories with [me], learn from their experience and share my own experiences. Thanks! Dear Reader, That’s a great question. Locally, there is a support group for people living with HIV/AIDS. But there aren’t any support groups for people living with either STIs in general or other specific STIs. As we talked, we realized that we don’t know any groups of this sort, and it got us wondering why not. An estimated one in two sexually active people will contract a sexually transmitted disease or infection (STI) before age 25, so potentially a lot of people are out there in the same boat, searching for some support. So why isn’t there more coordinated support? Doin’ It Well decided to take a look at the lack of support for the support! The Easy Answer

There are 19 million people who contract an STI each year. Of those, most go undiagnosed. The

or Why an STI Support Group Doesnt

STI may not have any symptoms, or often the individual may ignore the signs. Think about the times you knew you were sick, but you thought you could wait one more day or week before getting checked out. The same thing happens with STIs. Some STIs may be alleviated by your own body’s immune system. For instance, HPV, or the human papillomavirus, is a viral infection with over 40 known type, and 75-80 percent of all men and women will contract it in their lifetime. However, unless the type of HPV results in genital warts or a pre-cancer screening during a pap smear, most people who have it are completely unaware. In addition, many different STIs can be managed through medication and other treatment. For people with these STIs, their identity as a person with an STI may only last for a few weeks, as opposed to people diagnosed with chronic STIs, such as herpes or HIV, which may be managed but never cured. So the window of time that this support may be useful for folks can be small.

disgust, fear and judgment. Although approximately half of people will contract an STI in their lifetime, those who are known (or assumed) to have an STI may be slandered and avoided. The STI may have been contracted from partners who were dishonest about their sexual history or from unprotected sex. Coupled with the general stigma of being sexually active, this makes for a group of people who may not want to talk about their STI status with one another. At the same time, as our reader points out, this also means that this group might be really hungry for a connection to one another. In a group setting, you could exchange strategies for talking with a potential partner about your status or just share stories of coping. For people living with chronic STIs, the ability to have people nearby who understand could be invaluable. Unfortunately, in Jo’s experience trying to offer such a group, turnout was always zero — perhaps due to the stigma we mentioned above.

resources for individuals looking to start their own support groups. There are also a lot of caring individual supports around campus and the community. On campus, the Counseling Center and McKinley Health Center (both their Sexual Health and Mental Health clinics) can provide counseling and support for students. These are both services that students pay into anyway, so use them! In the community, CU Public Health District (cuphd.org) and Planned Parenthood (ppil.org) have wonderful services for STI prevention and intervention. They are primarily focused on providing health education and medical treatment, but each center also has very sensitive and caring individuals who can provide some brief support and referral. Catch us next week as we explore sex and beyond! Jo and Ross are here! Send us your questions to buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

The Ones We’ve Been Waiting For

The Hard Answer

But a much bigger barrier to an STI support group, in our opinion, is the shame placed upon people living with an STI. Although an STI is simply an illness that was contracted through sex, people who have an STI are often viewed with

For local resources, check out the Champaign County Self Help Center (selfhelp.famservcc. org) operated by Family Service. The Self Help Center maintains a listing of community support groups listed by topic, which includes women’s/ men’s health and HIV/AIDS. They also provide

SEX 411

Campus Support Resources » McKinley Health Center Sexual Health Educator: 333-2714 Counseling Center: 333-3704

LIKE US ON

FACEBOOK APARTMENTS Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

604 E. White, Champaign

Security Entrance For Fall 2011, Large studio, 1, 2 bedroom, Loft Apartment. Furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

4 Bedroom Blowout Only A Few Left! $250/person/month 111 E. Chalmers, 203 S. Sixth, 411 Healey Hardwood, Leather Furniture, Flatscreen TVS THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS Unfurnished

Available June

Studios, 1, 2, 3, 4 BR Starting at $365 THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

APARTMENTS Unfurnished

Downtown Old Town Champaign

430

Faron Properties Now leasing starting summer 2011. One to three bedrooms starting at $410. Call 217-352-8540 for appointment. View availbilities at www.faronproperties.com

430 SUBLETS

440 SUBLETS

buzz

440

1 Bedroom Apartments 1 Bedroom Apartments in older homes. Pet friendly. On bus line to campus. Available summer and fall. Some utilities included. 217-898-7826. 217-369-7205.

SUBLETS

440

HUGE SUBLET! Subletting a 4/5 bedroom two-story house near Beckman Inst. North side of U of I quad, 1 full and 1/2 baths, W/D, free off street parking. Current tenants are moving out for the summer. Available for May 1st. $850/month. Phone (217) 202-8252.

www.dailyillini.com the217.com

440 SUBLETS

EVERY THURSDAY entertainment, art, food, music and local events

the217.com APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2011

Jell-o delights! The first Jell-o that’s just for adults!

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES

March 21-April 19

To convey my vision of how best to proceed in the coming week, I’ll offer the following metaphorical scenario: Imagine that you are not a professional chef, but you do have a modicum of cooking skills. Your task is to create a hearty, tasty soup from scratch without the benefit of a recipe. You will need a variety of ingredients, but on the other hand you don’t want to just throw in a welter of mismatched ingredients without regard for how they will all work together. To some degree you will have to use a trial-and-error approach, sampling the concoction as it brews. You will also want to keep an open mind about the possibility of adding new ingredients in the latter stages of the process. One more thing: The final product must not just appeal to you. You should keep in mind what others would like, too.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

Many artists want “to aim for the biggest, most obvious target, and hit it smack in the bull’s eye,” says Brian Eno, a Taurus genius renowned for his innovative music. He prefers a different approach. He’d rather “shoot his arrow” wherever his creative spirit feels called to shoot it, then paint the target around the place where it lands. That’s why his compositions don’t resemble anyone else’s or fit into any traditional genre -- it’s Brian Eno-like music. Can I talk you into trying a similar strategy in the coming weeks and months, Taurus? I’d love to see you create a niche for yourself that’s tailored to your specific talents and needs.

GEMINI

May 21-June 20

CANCER

June 21-July 22

When World War I ended in 1918, the victorious nations demanded crushing financial reparations from the loser, Germany. It took 92 years, but the remaining $94 million of the debt was finally paid last October. I hope this story serves as an inspiration to you, Gemini. If entities as notoriously inflexible as governments can resolve their moldering karma, so can you. In the next few weeks, I’d love to see you finally clean up any messes left over from your old personal conflicts.

I know how secretive you Cancerians can be because I’m one of your tribe. Sometimes the secrecy is a bit neurotic, but more often it serves the purpose of sheltering your vulnerable areas. I’m also aware of how important it is for you to be self-protective. No one is better than you at guarding your goodies, ensuring your safety, and taking care of your well-being. I would never shame you for expressing these talents and I would never ask you to downplay them. Having said that, though, I want to make sure that in the coming weeks they don’t interfere with you getting the blessings you deserve. It’s crucial that you allow yourself to be loved to the hilt. You simply must let people in far enough so they can do that.

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

With a fortune of $27 billion, business tycoon Larry Ellison is the sixth richest person in the world. His monumental sense of self-importance is legendary. One of his colleagues says, “The difference between God and Larry is that God does not believe he is Larry.” Ellison seems to be what astrologers call an unevolved Leo -- an immature soul whose ego is a greedy, monstrous thing. Evolved Leos, on the other hand, are very different. Are you one? If so, you do a lot of hard work on your ego. You make sure that in addition to it being strong, it’s beautiful and elegant. It’s not just forceful; it’s warm and generous. It gets things done, but in ways that bless those who come in contact with it. For you evolved Leos, this is Celebrate Your Ego Week.

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

Seventy-five percent of all adults confess they would like to have sex in the woods at least once in their lives, and yet only 16 percent say they have actually enjoyed that thrill. If you’re one of the 59 percent who would like to but haven’t, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to make it happen. Your capacity for pleasure in

April 28 – May 4

wild places will be at a peak, as will your courage for exotic adventures. In fact, I suggest that between now and May 21 you consider carrying out three fantasies that have been marinating in your imagination for many moons.

LIBRA

jone sin’

by Matt Jones

“Generally Speaking”—time to lawyer up

Sept. 23-Oct. 22

It’s time for the Big Squeeze. All the contradictions in your life are coming up for review. You will be asked to deal more forthrightly with enigmas you’ve been avoiding, and you will be invited to try, try again to unravel riddles you’ve been unable to solve. Does all that sound a bit daunting? It could be. But the end result should be evocative, highly educational, and maybe even exhilarating. The scintillating play of opposites may caress you with such intensity that you’ll experience what we could refer to as a metaphysical orgasm.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

In the coming weeks, I would love to see you get excited about many different people, places, animals, and experiences. And I hope you will shower them with your smartest, most interesting blessings. Do you think you can handle that big an outpouring of well-crafted passion? Are you up for the possibility that you might blow your cover, lose your dignity, and show how much you care? In my opinion, the answer is yes. You are definitely ready to go further than ever before in plumbing the depths of your adoration for the privilege of being alive.

Here’s poet James Schuyler: “It’s time again. Tear up the violets and plant something more difficult to grow.” In my opinion, that’s almost the right advice for you these days. I’d prefer it if you didn’t actually rip out the violets to make room for the harder-to-grow blooms. Would it be possible to find a new planting area that will allow you to keep what you already have in the original planting area? One way or another, I think you really should give yourself a challenging new assignment.

“Dear Dr. Brezsny: For five years my wife and I have been married but still have made no children. We have consulted uncountable physicians with no satisfying result. Please predict a happy outcome for our troubles. When will the stars align with her womb and my manhood? She: born December 31, 1983 in Chakdaha, India. Me: born January 7, 1984 in Mathabhanga, India. - Desperate for Babies.” Dear Desperate: I’m happy to report that you Capricorns have entered a highly fertile period. It’s already going strong, and will culminate between May 16 to May 23. I suggest you jump on this sexy opportunity. You couldn’t ask for a better time to germinate, burgeon, and multiply.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

“Welcome home, beautiful!” I hope you hear those words or at least experience those feelings very soon. In my astrological opinion, you need to intensify your sense of belonging to a special place or community. You’ve got to grow deeper roots or build a stronger foundation or surround yourself with more nurturing -- or all of the above. And that’s not all. As you bask and thrive in your enhanced support system, you also deserve to feel better appreciated for the wonderful qualities you’re working so hard to develop in yourself. Ask and you shall receive.

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20

Whatever you have been trying to say, it’s time to say it stronger and clearer. You can no longer afford to hope people will read your mind or guess what you mean. Your communications must be impeccable and irresistible. A similar principle holds true for the connections and alliances you’ve been working to ripen. It’s time to raise your intensity level -- to do everything you can to activate their full potentials. Starting today, you’d be crazy to tolerate shaky commitments, either from yourself or others. Be sharp and focused and unswerving, Pisces -- keen and candid and to the point.

Stumped? Find the solutions in the Classifieds pages.

Across 1 Part of a dashboard display 5 Hill of country 10 E. ___ 14 Dull pain 15 Aquarium cleaner’s problem 16 Saudi Arabia neighbor 17 Hairstyles seen in “Pulp Fiction” and “Coming to America” 19 Bell Labs creation 20 Slender 21 Healers in role-playing games, often 23 When doubled, a 1965 Dixie Cups song 26 Bowler’s assignment 28 “How ___ supposed to know that?” 29 They may reference Nantucket 34 Substance used as an antioxidant, in some alternative medicines 35 Phineas ___ (lead role on the 1980s sci-fi series “Voyagers!”) 36 Nitpicky word for grammarians 38 Peoria resident, it’s said 43 ___ Sauer 44 Took a header 45 Pod vegetable 46 Dirk Nowitzki, for one 51 Regatta equipment

52 Mineral water spots 53 Commonest English word 54 Post-apocalyptic CBS series 58 Concerning 60 Heaps 61 Attorney General, or what each of six Across answers in this grid literally is 66 Treasure ___ (Zynga game) 67 Dried poblano chile 68 Prima donna 69 Creepy glance 70 Group’s senior member 71 Ensure kittenlessness

Down 1 Trump ___ Mahal 2 “___ du lieber!” 3 Guevara on hipster T-shirts 4 Word on a hand towel 5 Mud treatment, maybe 6 Reunion attendees 7 Airport serving Iguacu Falls, for short (in VINAIGRETTE) 8 Soapy mineral 9 Song in “Popeye” 10 Katie of the news 11 Defunct science magazine 12 Outside of the religious realm 13 “Suicide Blonde” band 18 In a not-so-healthy way 22 Relocated to the U.S., on many

family trees: abbr. 23 They may be bounced around 24 Movies for tots 25 Sandinista leader Daniel 27 Prepares a mummy 30 Paving stuff 31 E-mail abbr. 32 Get the music started 33 Dry cleaning substance 37 Serpent 39 Insurance company with a duck mascot 40 Car lover, slangily 41 Pro golfer Ernie 42 Ending for super 47 Stick around 48 Military helicopter 49 ___ Island (Puget Sound locale) 50 ___ perpetua (Idaho’s motto) 54 Monopoly board corner 55 “If all ___ fails...” 56 Thespian’s task 57 Yes-___ question 59 Alero maker 62 F-f-freezing 63 Quick swim 64 Actress Longoria 65 Sunbeam

buzz

APRIL 28 - MAY 4, 2011

the217.com

AND ANOTHER THING ...

by MICHAEL COULTER

summer loving It’s not too early to start dreaming about it the television, you could even take some time to go to an actual ballpark and catch a few innings. Hey, baseball is even sort of fun without the beer. If you can’t find some baseball on TV or at the park, the best idea is to grab a 12-pack and walk around the neighborhood until you find a group of grade schoolers playing Wiffle ball in a backyard. Once you find a game, start drinking heavily and begin to loudly criticize the children’s abilities. The key is to not get settled in. You’ve probably got about five to 10 minutes before someone’s parents call the cops, so be ready to move. If baseball and beer isn’t your thing, go ahead and try margaritas with just about anything. Pick something that sucks in your summer My biggest problem with life, like laundry, mowing the yard, washing the car. They all sound sort of terrible. cooking on a grill is restraint. add the words “and margaritas” to ... I realize each person doesn’t Iftheyou end of any of these chores though they suddenly sound like the awesomest things need five steaks for a meal, in the world. but I really need to make “I have to stay in and clean the kitchen,” sounds miserable. On the other hand, “I’m each person five steaks. It’s cleaning the kitchen and drinking margaria compulsion that only gets tas, get your ass over here,” is the beginning worse each year — but it does of a fantastic party. Grilling out is one of the things I look formake people want to come to ward to the most. My biggest problem with cooking on a grill is restraint. I suppose that my house. I figure if I’m taking the time to build a fire I might as well get the most out of it. I will Spring and summer in the Midwest can be cook for three freaking straight hours until I sort of dangerous. There have already been a have enough grilled treats to get me well into crapload of tornadoes, and I’m sure they will the next month. It’s the process as much as be looming around these parts for a while lon- the eating. I realize each person doesn’t need ger. Funnel clouds are real rat bastards, but I five steaks for a meal, but I really need to make think everyone should experience one, if for no each person five steaks. It’s a compulsion that other reason than so you’ll know what a train only gets worse each year — but it does make people want to come to my house. sounds like. They say to hide in the basement or a bathAnother way I get prepared for the long sumroom when the twisters come, so it only makes mer is to work on my base tan as soon as possense to be prepared. While it would be nice to sible. I’m very pale most of the time, so it’s nice have a complete bar set up in both places just in for me to add a bit of color. My base tan is basicase, sometimes there’s just not room. cally what most people would consider third The bathroom part is easy. Keep a bottle of degree burns. I can get this sunburnt in about 12 moderately priced whiskey in the back of the toi- minutes. The dead, peeling skin then provides a let tank. The water will keep it nicely chilled and layer of protection for weeks to come. it can even be used in a non-tornado situation. None of these tips and insights are really As far as basements go, it’s nice to have one groundbreaking, but they might help a little. of those little refrigerators down there stocked The real key to having a good summer is to just with beer. It’s often also a good idea to have a force yourself to relax just a little bit. bottle of water in the fridge, just in case things Everything seems a little easier to me once get real bad. it gets warmer. It’s weird because it seems While we’re on the subject of drinking, sum- as though I’m constantly doing things in the mer is a fine time to do a lot of it. For me, the summer, but I never really get all that tired. I first thing that comes to mind this time of year am strangely productive and I don’t even think is baseball and beer. These two things go to- about it. For now, I’m giddy thinking about all gether like dumbass and Charlie Sheen. For- the warm weather. I better enjoy it while I can. tunately, there is almost always a ball game I’ll probably have to start bitching about the on TV in the summer. If there are no games on return of winter in a couple of weeks. OK, since it’s probably no longer too early to jinx it, I figured it’s time to write the annual “Get Ready for Summer” column. The weather is still pretty crappy, but I can only assume we are past the point of yet another crippling winter storm. So for now, even though we’re stuck in a seemingly endless loop of thunderstorms, we can take a little time and imagine the lovely months of summer. It sort of seems like the easiest part of the year, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to work at least a little bit to make it the most kick-ass summer ever.

buzz