Buzz Magazine: May 5, 2011 by Buzz Magazine

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VOL9 NO18

MAY 5, 2011

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Catching up with Grandkids

PASTA FIESTA

Spice up this college classic for Cinqo de Mayo.

BOOBS

EASY, COWBOY 4

... and why the other parts of women are important, too.

CALENDAR

Your guide to this week’s events in CU.

ON THE217.COM ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Check out Kelsey McGrath’s review of Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Canopy Club put on by Psychic Joker. Look for it on Tuesday!

YouTube celebs perform ... in person.

MUSIC buzz loves bugs. Bands love bugs. Check out the Music Mentalist online this week to inform yourself all about insect-inspired bands.

COMMUNITY Looking for a cheap, cool gift for your mom this Mother’s Day? Check out this week’s Sifting Through The Thrift column for some ideas! Online today!

MOVIES & TV Check out our recap of Smallville as it nears towards the series finale. And hopefully Superman doesn’t die.

FOOD & DRINK

Jeanine knows her whiskey. Luckily, she shares her knowledge and insights with us every week so you can, too! Look for Whiskey of the Week, online Friday.

EDITOR’S NOTE DYLAN SUTCLIFF

Dick Fartin’s Likes (see right) got us thinking: what is everyone’s funny, sexual, stupid, quasi-mean nickname? You don’t need to look far for ours; just check out the babblers in the top margins of the pages this week! I myself was known as Dildo Slutcliff — a moniker bestowed upon me by a forgotten fourth grade bus rider. Vulgarities at such a young age may come as a shock to some of our readers (moms), but that’s the way it was. As I said, I don’t particularly remember the source of my dirty nickname; however, after it’s conception, I made sure “Dildo Slutcliff” was the absolute peak as far as teasing went. Fortunately, people sometimes came up with Dildo on their own, but usually I had to help people with the Slutcliff conclusion. I think I did this for a couple reasons: First, it established me as someone who is open to poking fun at himself, which I stupidly continue to do. Secondly, it stopped anyone from creating something new that I perhaps couldn’t cope with as well as I could Dildo Slutcliff, a persona I was almost proud of. I think the first time someone maliciously tried to tease me was freshman year of high school. Up until this point, the bully, for lack of a better term, and I were actually very good friends and would hang out frequently. When high school came around he decided that it was no longer possible for a corn-fed boy such as himself to act civilized with someone like me, someone he referred to as “hippy.” This new nom de plume, which was without grounds from the start, became even less fitting as high school progressed. I never smoked drugs, I eventually cut my hair, and my obsession with psych-rock gave way to a more diverse pallet; however, these changes did not stop him from yelling “hippy” as he aimed a steel-toed boot at my legs in the hallway. It was especially peculiar because, as far as I could tell, no one was on his side, including his friends who I was on good terms with. In spite of this, I never let it get me down. I think I realized that he was probably more confused than I, and that he probably saw lashing out at “hippies” as a socially acceptable release for the excessive confusion and anger that accompanies an oaf in high school.

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My stomach hurts; I ate too many pennies.

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NICK MARTIN MOVIES & TV EDITOR

CINCO DE MAYO

THE PAUL MCKENNA BAND

This year, the forecasted U.S. consumption of avocados on Cinco De Mayo will be upwards of 70 million pounds. For many Americans, Cinco De Mayo is that one holiday in May — you know, the one where eating bowls of guacamole and getting drunk off margaritas is not only accepted but encouraged. The one day that you can wear a sombrero and not be made fun of, maybe. But Cinco De Mayo is so much more than that! It is a celebration that honors the Mexican army’s unlikely victory over the French at the Battle of the Puebla. The victory was a huge morale booster for the Mexican army and instilled a strong sense of pride in the Mexican people. What better way to commemorate such an inspiring victory than with tequila shots? Come May 5, the recently relocated Mexican restaurant El Toro in Champaign will be hosting live music provided by The Duke of Uke and His Novelty Orchestra to help kick off the festivities. While you are listening to some great music, you can also try some of El Toro’s authentic Mexican dishes. To make your experience complete, El Toro has a wide alcohol selection. With 18 different tequilas, 20 different beers and six different flavors of margaritas, you are sure to find something you like. El Toro is known for is its “Margarona,” which is essentially a margarita with a Corona beer bottle stuck inside. Go out and celebrate the Mexican holiday and support a new local restaurant! For info about El Toro or to make reservations, call 378-7807.

Folk music is a thread sewn through culture over the years. While society and interests may change, the music remains constant in its form, meaning and passion. It’s this passion for folk music that Paul McKenna and his band carry. Taking you back to its Scottish roots, The Paul McKenna Band will perform May 10, 8 p.m. at the Independent Media Center in Urbana. The Paul McKenna Band is a traditional folk group that has been touring together since 2006. Fronted by Paul McKenna, all five members are from different areas of Scotland. The musicians bring diverse influences and backgrounds to the table when they collaborate. The band strives to find a contemporary sound within folk music, but it never strays too far from its roots. McKenna said he also likes bluegrass music and that Led Zeppelin is one of his favorite bands — but when it comes to his own music, he sticks with what he knows and loves. “I always came back to folk — there’s always been more of a connection there for me,” said McKenna. McKenna had trouble pinpointing his favorite thing about the genre. “I love the social aspect; I love playing in sessions and going to folk festivals. Obviously the history plays a part, too. It’s wonderful to sing a song that’s hundreds of years old and trace the [song’s] history,” he said. Growing up, traditional music was always in McKenna’s life. He began singing and playing the piano at a very young age and continues to sing in the band, in addition to playing guitar and the bouzouki, an instrument that resembles a guitar but sounds like a mandolin. McKenna received a degree in Scottish music from The Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama in Glasgow, Scotland. While at the academy, McKenna studied history, composition, business, ensemble work and Scots and Gaelic language. The band constantly plays venues big and small, and it is not planning on cutting down on the number of shows anytime soon. The band is booked to play numerous festivals in the United Kingdom and U.S. this summer, including Milwaukee Irish Fest in Wisconsin, the Celtic Classic Festival in Pennsylvania and, perhaps most anticipated by the band, the Cambridge Folk Festival, the biggest folk festival in the UK. “I think we’re on the right path, and I hope our music reaches a wider audience,” said McKenna. “We want more people to listen and enjoy [folk music] as much as we do. Maybe it will happen. I hope it does.”

BUZZ STAFF

By Liz Faermark

COVER DESIGN Sanny Lin EDITOR IN CHIEF Dylan Sutcliff MANAGING EDITOR Peggy Fioretti ART DIRECTOR Olivia La Faire COPY CHIEF Emily Siner PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Ramzi Dreessen IMAGE EDITOR Peggy Fioretti PHOTOGRAPHERS Sean O’Connor DESIGNERS Annaka Olsen, Sanny Lin, JoAnne Pierce MUSIC EDITOR Adam Barnett FOOD & DRINK EDITOR Samantha Bakall MOVIES & TV EDITOR Nick Martin ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Lauren Hise COMMUNITY EDITOR Amy Harwath CU CALENDAR Elisia Phua COPY EDITORS Drew Hatcher, Emily Blumenthal, Maggie Puniewska MARKETING/DISTRIBUTION Brandi Willis EDITORIAL ADVISER Marissa Monson PUBLISHER Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ

by Jessica Bourque

ON THE WEB www.the217.com EMAIL buzz@readbuzz.com WRITE 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 CALL 217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © ILLINI MEDIA COMPANY 2011

» My first adult mustache: In fifth grade, a particular girl used to tease me on the bus. Her taunt: “Hey Dick Fartin! Why don’t you go shave your Mexican mustache!” I hated that girl, and I’m glad she got fat; however, my pre-pubescent sweaty lip stubble did look shitty. Nine years later, I’ve rectified my facial misfortune. Now, I own a Man’s Mustache — a mustache you can comb. The kind of lip service that requires me to use the my roommate’s scissors for twice daily trims. What’s that? You want to kiss it? You can, and don’t worry — it’s self-lubricating. » Beat poetry: My mustache has opened up new lifestyles, new subcultures. I need a break from the military industrial complex, man! I have a soul patch; I own bongos! When I read Ginsberg’s words, Keuroac’s novels or Cassidy’s semi-colons, I hear the rhythm of Negro music, man! I wear turtlenecks! I own French hats! This mustache means I’m questioning your system! I won’t accept your nine-to-five mind control! » Capturing damsels and tying them to railroad tracks: Some facial hair aficionados use their scruff strictly for evil. Sometimes, I’ll capture a blonde beauty in a large burlap sack. Then, I bring her out to the railroad tracks and tie her down tight — waiting for the train to crush her into pulp! Such a dastardly deed, so diabolically devious! Nothing feels more satisfying than twirling one’s mustache with pride while the pulverized meat of an innocent woman lies smoldering on the ground.

GRIPES EMILY SINER COPY CHIEF

» Nick Martin’s mustache: Nick Martin? More like Dick Fartin! He thinks he’s being all ironic reclaiming a look once cherished by dads and/or creepy old men. His once-perfect face is marred by a line of hair poised silently, waiting, waiting, above his upper lip. He may be getting major hipster cred by wearing such an adornment, but he’s certainly not getting laid. » My inability to swear: The malevolently mustached Mr. Martin once told me: I don’t swear properly. I like to think the occasional expletive has some legitimacy from my lips, but I absolutely cannot drop an F-bomb in any part of speech unless s*** really hits the fan. I don’t even feel comfortable swearing in print. I mean, what if my mom reads it? I’m destined forever to be a freaking verbal Puritan. » When people ask me to show them my birth certificate: Listen, guys, I’m sure you’re really concerned about this, but I don’t know where the fuck (eek!) I put that thing after getting my driver’s licence. I think it’s in my dad’s basement somewhere. I’ll tell you what: I’m going to go hunt down and kill one of America’s most feared enemies, and then you can all try a slice of my homemade apple pie and call it a day. buzz

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Brush off your lasso, wrangler jeans and boots with the spurs Rodeo comes to CU By Lauren Yang

ou’re sitting inside a small enclosure, surrounded by metal bars. You’re perched atop hundreds of pounds of corded muscle as it shifts from side to side. You wrap your hand securely in rope, holding your balance as the tension hangs thickly in the air. Then — the gate opens. “Time just stops,” Will Glazik said. “You can feel every movement, every muscle of the animal between your legs — it’s an insane connection. It’s almost kind of like a drug.” Despite being kicked, stepped on and thrown into a gate, Glazik keeps coming back for more. He’s not a glutton for pain — just addicted to the adrenaline rush of one of Western America’s most iconic traditions: the rodeo. Glazik is the president of the Illini Rodeo Club, which will bring rodeo back to the CU with the University Rodeo Stampede on May 7, from 6 to 9 p.m. at the Champaign County Fairgrounds. The rodeo promises danger, excitement and a taste of cowboy culture that you’d be hardpressed to find anywhere else. “My dad was in the club in the early ‘80s, and they had an annual rodeo until one got rained out in 2007,” Glazik says. “We haven’t been able to raise the money for another one until now, so this is pretty exciting.”

Used with permission from the pink sip and The Creative Commons

The club will save a portion of the proceeds for another rodeo in 2012. Another portion of the proceeds will be donated to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. “In the past, all of the profits have gone to the rodeo club, but we think [St. Jude] is a really good organization because they offer medical care to children,” says Glazik. “This way, we get to help the community and have a rodeo.”

The Sleeping Beauty

The rodeo will consist of eight events, including bareback riding, bull riding and barrel racing. Anyone can participate, said Glazik. The stock contractor providing the animals carries liability insurance, in case anything goes wrong. “There’s a lot of hard work that’s put into it,” said Elizabeth Prestin, a rodeo club member. “It takes a lot of strength and courage.” “Or stupidity,” Glazik quipped.

Prestin, who grew up around rodeo and riding, said that the animals are bred specifically for the qualities desired for rodeo events: Some bulls will buck for eight seconds (the amount of time a rider must stay on), then calmly walk back to the pen. If an animal does not want to buck, it will not be forced to participate. “There’s a big misconception about the breeding program and treatment of animals,” Prestin said. “As with any animal, the care and quality of care reflects on its performance — and its handler.” “A lot of people think we’re abusing animals, but they’re athletes and are trained and bred to do that. Stock contractors take care of the animals because that’s their livelihood, and they don’t want the animals or riders to get hurt,” Glazik said. Glazik, Prestin and the rest of the Rodeo Club hope to spread the word about rodeo and maintain a strong and lasting presence in CU. “We want to try and inform people about it because a lot of people who didn’t grow up around it don’t understand it,” Glazik says. “The atmosphere is just so great — you might get hurt, but every time I’ve gotten knocked down, I kept coming back because the thrill’s just that strong.”

The classic fairy tale of love and magic told through ballet

By Victoria Kao prince, princess, king and queen will be in Champaign this weekend. No, it’s not another royal wedding. The Champaign-Urbana Ballet Company will perform its spring production of The Sleeping Beauty, a classic tale of a princess waiting to be rescued by her Prince Charming. The ballet will be performed on May 7 at 7:30 p.m. and May 8 at 2:00 p.m. at the Virginia Theatre. The story begins on a day the King and Queen honor the birthday of their daughter, Aurora. An evil fairy named Carabosse casts a spell on Aurora that will cause her to die on her 16th birthday by pricking her finger. However, the kind Lilac Fairy uses her powers to alter the spell so that Aurora will not die but instead sleep for 100 years until she is awakened by a kiss from a prince. The audience should be aware that the ballet production is not the same as the 1959 animated Disney version. While the synopsis and story line are the same, the ballet will be based on the music written by composer Pyotr Tchaikovsky. Members of the cast include U of I student Mark Deler, senior in FAA; John Dayger, visit4

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ing dance lecturer; Scott Walter, professor in the Graduate School of Library and Information Science; and David O’Brien, associate professor of art history. Tracy McCabe, assistant dean for the College of Business at UIUC and board member of CU Ballet, is the producer of The Sleeping Beauty. The ballet production is directed by Deanna Doty, who also serves as the costume designer. Alison Weingartner, publicist for the production, said the ballet is expected to showcase brand new artistic features including 75 new tailor-made costumes, all designed by local volunteers. When The Sleeping Beauty was part of CU Ballet’s 2007 line-up, the costumes were rented from various companies. Aside from new costumes, the audiences should expect to see a ground breaking set, the creation of set designer Andy Warfel. “The set was entirely digitally printed from high tech, 16-foot wide ink jet printers,” Weingartner said. “This new, translucent material was also recently featured in Miami City’s ballet production of Romeo and Juliet and has been used on

some architectural pieces in Chicago.” Because The Sleeping Beauty is a popular tale among children, the ballet company designed a shorter matinee at earlier times for children on May 7 at 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. “The shortened matinee will be about one hour long and feature all the essential dance scenes that are necessary for the story line,” said Weingartner. “The full-length production will feature all the original musical numbers and dance scenes.” After the matinee performance, children and audience members will be able to attend a ballet mime, a presentation put on by the company that will explain what certain dances and gestures signify. Tickets can be purchased at the Virginia Theatre Box Office or by calling 356-9063.

Promotional shot featuring company dancers Alexandra Warwick and Mark Deler. Photo by Dan Merlo

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VIRGINIA THEATRE 203 West Park Avenue, C. When: May 7 at 7:30 p.m., May 8 at 2 p.m. TICKETS: $12 students, $24 adults

MAY 5 - 11, 2011

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YouTube hits the stage Meet the people responsible for some of your favorite viral YouTube music videos

ouTube stars are finally stepping away from the computer and on to the stage. Jay Goldberg Events and Entertainment and DigiTour Media present The DigiTour 2011 on Saturday, May 7, at the Canopy Club from 5:30 p.m. to 10. The DigiTour is a six-week national tour that brings your favorite Internet musicians to you. The Canopy show will feature Dave Days, The Gregory Brothers, DeStorm, Ricky Ficarelli, Team StarKid and Kimmi Smiles. Judging from their videos, these guys are sure to blow your mind. While a number of the stars are musicians, their content varies from original work to parodies. Dave Days boasts over 1.5 million subscribers to his channel, making him the No. 1 musician on YouTube. Days creates parody and cover videos along with pieces of his own. He partners with Smiles on several songs, such as “Olive You.” His humor and her bubbly personality form giddy video chemistry. Smiles is from Australia and makes random, interactive videos which carry a lighthearted theme and encourage the audience to smile. DeStorm has nearly 1 million subscribers and is considered the No. 1 rapper on YouTube. He recently collaborated with Boyce Avenue to create a remix of Diddy’s “Coming Home.” Ficarelli is set apart from the rest of the group because he doesn’t sing, but he plays some intense drums. His talent lies within the sticks.

Ricky takes top 40 hip-hop and pop songs and drums to them. He creates covers based on requests and has over 45,000 subscribers to his channel. Most noted, The Gregory Brothers, better known for their “schmoyoho” YouTube channel, will be performing a number of their auto-tuned news songs, like “Bed Intruder Song.” (Hide your kids, hide your wife.) But don’t hide from Team StarKid, the remaining act of the show. A Very Potter Musical and A Very Potter Sequel are both YouTube icons. While not advertised directly by the Canopy Club, The DigiTour tweeted a hint about Team StarKid’s special appearance: “Sweet! @TeamStarKid will be joining The DigiTour in Lawrence Kansas at the Granada Theater and Urbana Illinois at the Canopy Club! awesome!” With over 4 million channel views, Team StarKid is probably best known for its team member, Darren Criss, who will be performing with them on Saturday. Criss, who plays Blake on the popular TV show Glee, will make an appearance, according to The DigiTour’s March 29 tweet: “@TeamStarKid & @DarrenCriss from Glee r performing on DigiTour May7th&8th!” DigiTour is an opportunity to celebrate those with awesome talent, a digital camera and a huge number of subscribers.

Tickets are on sale online through thedigitour.com for $10. They can also be purchased at Canopy, Manolo’s Pizza and Empanadas, Exile on Main Street, by phone at 1-800-514-ETIX or by printing tickets at home from canopyclub.com.

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By Kelsey McGrath

CANOPY CLUB 708 S. Goodwin, U. When: Saturday, May 7, 5:30-10 p.m. TICKETS: $10

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with purchase of pottery 1808 Round Barn Rd. Champaign, IL 61821 Expires 05/31/11

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MAY 5 - 11, 2011

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One on One

with DEBRA JOY HART laugh leader

by Ellie Brzezenski

ver heard the phrase “laughing is contagious”? Debra Joy Hart has shaped her career from that phrase. As a registered nurse, she spends her time as a laugh therapist helping people to ease anxiety through laughter and the sharing of authentic, positive emotions. This certified Laugh Leader conducts monthly “Laughter Circles” where participants are encouraged to learn about behaviors for healthy spirits by letting loose and laughing out loud. With her bubbly

Used with permission from Debra Joy Hart

personality and mismatched socks, the amazing woman sat down with buzz to talk about her experiences in life, laughter and healing. Check out Hart’s workshop the first Thursday of every month at Beads and Botanicals, located at 117 N. Broadway in Urbana. » buzz: How did you get involved in laughter therapy? Debra Joy Hart: By the seventh and eighth grade, I learned that the power of humor keeps bullies away, and if I entertained the masses and created enough stir so that I didn’t quite piss off my teacher, I would be OK. As I got more into healing, I learned I could relax people if I did different types of humor, and if I was relaxed, I could do more in-depth therapy with them. » buzz: What have you learned through your experience as a registered nurse and as a laughter therapist? DJH: What I found early on in my nursing career [is that people feel] they don’t have a sense of control: “Oh, I have to wait for the test. Oh, the doctor ordered the test. Oh, the nurse will come in and give me the pill ...” The list goes on. When you share humor and laughter with the patient, it can help with decreasing anxiety, but more importantly, it acts as a way of bonding people together. If you’re bonding even for a moment with someone, if you can bond for just a minute even, it lowers your anxiety so more natural healing can go on. If you laugh, you breathe, and if

you breathe, you can settle down. » buzz: What kinds of things do you do in your Laughter Circles? DJH: In a typical laughter club session, we usually start with an introduction about the club and what we do. Basically we’re all laughing to promote world peace because, to quote Hawkeye Pierce from M.A.S.H., “If we’re laughing, we’re not killing each other.” There are all different types of laughter, and there’s a whole warehouse of laughter exercises. And we just laugh — no joke-telling — and we talk about good-hearted living, which has to do with ways to make yourself smile and feel good on a daily basis. » buzz: How has your outlook or general disposition changed because of your work in laughter therapy? DJH: I am certainly more interested in the science of humor, laughter and mirth than I used to be. It’s changed my life because I am more aware that I need to practice what I preach. Humor and laughter and mirth help you grow. Sometimes it rains, sometimes there’s sadness, but it’s all life. Joy’s on one side and hope’s on the other, and it’s all life. I have gratitude for what makes me laugh and who makes me laugh. I’ve dealt a lot

Used with permission from Debra Joy Hart

in grief, and I try to find that mixture of life and humor in just about every situation. » buzz: With finals coming up, what can students do to take the edge off? DJH: Don’t drink alcohol because it messes with your immune system. Don’t drink so much coffee, although I know you’re going to do it anyway, because that also messes with your immune system. Drink lots of water, don’t laugh so hard it comes out your nose, and 30 minutes before your finals make sure you stop and you actually read the comics or turn on whatever TV show makes you laugh. Also, during your studies, get yourself out of your chair, away from the computer, and go laugh about something, and if it’s not possible to get away from your desk, look something up on YouTube. Take time out: Don’t just smell the roses, laugh at the roses. Take time out to laugh. It does the body good.

“the student union that never closes” AlumniDate.com connects alumni with past flames and friends by Jordan Hughes

he society we live in continues to come up with weird and interesting ways for us to connect with one another. When it comes to romance, it seems the Internet has become more in charge of our love lives than we are. Sites like Eharmony.com and Match.com claim they can do as good a job — if not better — than we can at finding our perfect match. Pay attention, dating-site junkies, for there is yet another way to find your future husband or wife: through your alma mater. The newest invention in online dating comes from AlumniDate.com, a dating web site that connects college alumni for dating. If you wanted to meet your college sweetheart but weren’t successful in love, all hope is not lost! 6

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The site advises adults to “Spring into Love!” and learn to connect with like-minded singles from their university. As it says, “After all, love is not a one-time test where you either pass or fail. It withstands the true test of time.” The most unique part of this dating site is that 10 percent of every membership fee is given back to the college or university the member is affiliated with. In addition, AlumniDate.com offers a general scholarship fund to which anyone can donate. Most dating sites match members by common interests. AlumniDate.com tries to go beyond the standard way of pairing up individuals by using a unique approach focusing on “a shared feeling of school pride.” AlumniDate.com refers to itself as “The student union that never closes.”

What happens if all the men and women from your university were duds? Well, you can scope out soul mates from a different university on the site. The site includes multiple top universities from all over the nation, so choices are by no means limited. Memberships for AlumniDate cost $29.95 a month. But can you really put a price on love? If you’re single and still thinking about your college flame, this may be your last shot. And you can feel good about yourself for giving back to your alma mater.

Used with permission from Don Hankins and The Creative Commons

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This one isn’t a dirty name.

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“DON’T ASK” US ABOUT KLEZMER CU’s Don’t Ask tells you all about it

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LISTEN TO THE FACTS. Used with permission from Don't Ask

by Maggie Labno

THIS EQUALS 15,038 TACOS FROM TACO BELL.

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THEY WOULD COST $11,800 ON ITUNES.

are known to spice things up. “The melodies are traditional, but sometimes the accompaniment that we play is not,” Meadows said, referring to the group’s usage of the guitar. All of the music Don’t Ask plays is traditional folk music, except for a few adaptations. “We’ve klezmerized one Nirvana tune,” Harris said. He was talking about “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” except the band calls it “Smells Like D Minor” because most klezmer music is in the key of D minor. “It’s the most cheerful sad music you can ever hear,” Harris said. “It’s like laughing and crying at the same time ... I think it’s really a cultural reflection of the whole Jewish world view, like the ‘Don’t ask.’” “It’s the most fun you can have in a minor key,” agreed Meadows. “Smells Like D Minor” is included in the set list for Don’t Ask’s upcoming show at Heartland Gallery in Urbana, as well as some new tunes they have been working on. “I think there’s going to be a lot of variety,” Reyman said. “We’ve got those slow, creepy ones, and we have some fast ones.” “And we have some that make you tear up,” Harris added. Don’t Ask will be performing at Heartland Gallery on May 6 at 7 p.m. Those attending should expect a comfortable evening, and the band hopes that attendees “have a hard time sitting still.” Seating is limited.

BRIEFBOX

OUR MUSIC LIBRARY IS 12,000 SONGS.

In a two-hour set, the klezmer band Don’t Ask almost guarantees to make its audience tear up during certain tunes and dance during others. klezmer is a traditional Jewish dance music genre strongly influenced by Romanian musicians. Although its history is not entirely known, klezmer originated in Eastern Europe and was brought to the United States by Yiddish-speaking Jewish immigrants in the 19th and 20th centuries. Today, klezmer is mostly played at wedding receptions and similar celebrations. Don’t Ask formed three years ago when Frances Harris proposed the idea to Michael Shapiro. Soon after, they started performing and eventually formed the current line-up, which includes Harris on violin, Shapiro on guitar, Mike Meadows on bass and Chris Reyman on accordion. The band got its name from a traditional Yiddish expression. “When somebody asks you, ‘How are you?’ you should never say ‘I’m fine,’ because that would attract the evil eye. Instead you should say, ‘Don’t ask,’” said Harris. Although the name has nothing to do with “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” a common misconception, the group makes some inside jokes regarding it. “Don’t ask us where the clarinet is,” Harris said. “Because most Americans associate klezmer music with clarinets. But the older klezmer groups going back to Europe didn’t have one.” As of recently, the group performs once or twice a month and about every six weeks and Don’t Ask can be seen at Strawberry Fields. The group has also performed at Buvons Wine Bar in Urbana, wedding receptions, house concerts and libraries. They have also participated in a few dance workshops. The group remains mostly traditional, but they

HEARTLAND GALLERY 112 W. Main St., U. WHAT: Don’t Ask Klezmer Band in concert WHEN: May 6 at 7 p.m.; doors open at 6:15 p.m. TICKETS: $5

MAY 5 - 11, 2011

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One on One

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with don gerard punk-rock politics with champaign’s new mayor-elect

by Adam Thies

ince the mid-’80s, Champaign’s mayorelect Don Gerard has been a staple in the Champaign music scene by playing in groups such as The Farmboys, The Bowery Boys, Steve Pride & His Blood Kin and Moon Seven Times. Earlier this month, Gerard followed the path of Sonny Bono, Wyclef Jean and Bono by being another musician to enter the world of politics. buzz got the chance to sit down with Gerard and discuss his rock ‘n’ roll roots, how they influenced his mayoral campaign and what music means to the city of Champaign. » buzz: How did you first get involved with playing music? Don Gerard: I got tricked into it. My friends had a band, and I showed up and they said, “The drummer didn’t show up. Play drums.” And I said, “I don’t know how to play drums.” So I just started bashing away, and ... a few years later, I’m playing in bands with guys that went on to play with Wilco and other bands with records deals. » buzz: What types of music inspired you to pick up an instrument? DG: I was probably more of a punk and new wave kid ... In the ‘80s, there was a show on WPGU called Going Underground on Sunday nights. That was the fight place where I heard the first Violent Femmes, The Jam and The Clash records. And in high school,

catching up with ...

I saw The English Beat at Foellinger Auditorium with The Bangles opening up. ... Then we really got into the Minnesota scene and played with bands like Soul Asylum and The Replacements. » buzz: Where would you guys play? Mainly house shows or bar type venues? DG: A place called Mabels [currently known as Brothers]. We played a lot of bar venues, and then when I was in Moon Seven Times, we were signed to Roadrunner. So we played larger venues because we were on a major label. But back in the day when Band Jam was pretty huge, we played in front of a thousand people on the South Quad. » buzz: Can you tell me about the Ten Shitty Guy House? DG: That was a house at 1102 Nevada, and we had a giant skateboard ramp in the front yard. ... It was this notorious independent house, and we’d have gigantic parties, and bands would play. ... Steve Albini from the band Big Black would come down and hang with Rick Simms from The Digits because he lived with us. So you’d wake up and there would be two guys from The Jesus Lizard on our couch eating my cereal. » buzz: Briefly describe the scene back then. Was it more stuff coming through town or more of a grassroots kind of thing? DG: A lot of those bands were just the group of people we played with. Even Soul Asylum and

Used with permission from Don Gerard

Uncle Tupelo — they were just bands in the scene. You didn’t have this expectation; you just wanted to play a party, meet some girls, do something kind of cool. With the exception of meeting girls, it’s kind of like politics. Like running my campaign, you try to have a good solid product, try to have as many people hearing it and try not to put out something people are going to hate. That’s how we booked our campaign; we had a lot of indie rock guys who did it. That’s why we had T-shirts; we booked it like a rock show, and as far as getting our brand and our name out there, it actually worked. » buzz: What role does music play in Champaign? How do you plan to use the mayoral platform to support local music? DG: We have the Pygmalion Music Festival and a lot of great venues, and just acknowledging that

and dignifying that is going to be huge. And I have a lot of contacts from people who are still in the music business. I think it kind of puts us on the map a little bit, and I hope we can grow and kind of expand on that. ... It’s kind of cool to have a rock ‘n’ roll mayor of a city. I think it’ll be good for the music scene and the cultural scene. And having the opportunity to promote these things through this type — it’s a voice you don’t expect to be promoting these things, and I think it’s great. » buzz: What role does music play in your life today? Do you continue to play music? DG: I listen to music all the time. ... I play on the couch. My kids play music, so I play with them. I might bust out my guitar at the inaugural ball. We’ll see what happens. Check out the full interview online at the217.com!

grandkids

by Justine Chan After recently releasing its EP Sister Walls and playing at large venues in Chicago and Wisconsin, Grandkids is ready for summer’s opportunities to work on its music and keep growing. » buzz: So, what’s up with that stuffed fox you guys bring on stage at your shows? Adam Gorcowski: Oh, that’s actually a coyote. We got it at the start of the year when we were trying to find antique stuff to populate the house. I saw the coyote on Craigslist for $100, and I got it down to $50, but it was in Monticello. So we drove there, but the lady selling it wasn’t there, and Evan wasn’t wearing shoes. Evan Metz: Yeah, I just thought we wouldn’t really have to get out of the car. But we spent the whole day in Monticello and ate some good pizza there. AG: The lady never showed up, but she drove the coyote to our house a couple days later, and we paid $60 for it because she drove all the way over anyway. EM: At Pygmalion, we put it down as our stage dec-

oration, and we have been trying to bring it to every show. It’s not heavy — you can one-arm it — but it’s fragile, and a lot of times, we can’t bring it because it can’t be packed safely in the car. We should get a case for it. Oh, yeah, its name is Jennifer. » buzz: What’s the story behind your new EP Sister Walls? Vivian McConnell: We didn’t really know we were doing a full EP. The song “Geese” was one that I wrote in high school, and the other songs were old pieces that we had been playing. So our sound is similar, but it wasn’t as though we were shooting for a concept album. I was in London the past summer, and I had this experience by the ocean and the cliffs which was really inspiring for the title, “Sister Walls.” I guess this is our post-Grandkids phase. It’s the first semester I’ve taken off school to work with Santah, so there’s been lot of time for me to think. But we started recording on the snow day. EM: Yeah, it was definitely influenced by winter, that feeling of being all holed up. I think if we wrote the album during the summer, it would be differ-

ent. The tempo might be faster. It was all just time and circumstances. » buzz: You guys recorded Sister Walls in the basement of your house? What was that like? EM: It was very relaxed. In a full-fledged studio, you are constantly forced to think about the costs. You always have to ask yourself if what you’ve recorded is worth it or if you have to do it again. So it was nice to record over two weeks, instead of three days. VM: And we got help from Evan’s brother, Jake, who is a chill bro. It was nice to just go at different times to do overdubs. » buzz: Who does the violin work in both your EPs? EM: That’s Rachel Wittrig, or Rae Rae. She’s a chill chick. She’s our go-to fiddler, and she’s so great because we’ll say, “Just play something cool,” and it’ll be awesome. VM: Yeah, she’s the sugar mama. » buzz: What are you guys up to this summer? VM: We’re booking a mini-tour. It’ll be a Midwest stint. The only show we have booked so far is in Dixon, Ill., my hometown, on July 1.

Phil Sudderberg of Phil Sudderberg Group

Phil Sudderberg: By the Ronald Reagan statue mounting his steed. He is the inspiration and the giver. VM: I drink milk straight from the cow. » buzz: What are some new things you guys want to try? VM: We’re trying to do choreographed dance moves. It’s working pretty well so far. We shred together. ... It’ll not even be about music anymore. EM: Yeah, we’re post-music: post-post-Grandkids. Look for the full interview online at the217.com! buzz

Food

Drink

Cinco de mayo margarita showdown buzz samples margaritas for Cinco de Mayo

by Jeanine Russell, Barbara Davidson and Elizabeth Carroll

inco de Mayo is a celebration of the Mexican army’s victory over the French in 1862. It has mostly become a celebration of Mexican heritage, and in America, it’s a really great reason to go drink some margaritas. The margarita’s history is not nearly as clear-cut or decisive as Cinco de Mayo’s, but if there was one solid date and story, I am sure it would be acknowledged with equal fervor and appreciation. A margarita is a cocktail combining tequila, Cointreau or Triple Sec, as well as lime, but there are endless variations of this simple concoction. In order to get ready for the holiday itself, buzz took to some local restaurants and bars to find the best margaritas around. Cocina Real, located on University Avenue in Champaign, offers a handful of house-selected margaritas, as well as a premium and a more standard margarita selection, making this one of the most extensive menus around. They offer a wide variety of tequila options, as well as different flavors. We sampled the Frida Margarita, which was a fantastic pomegranate-flavored marg served in a sugar-rimmed glass. It was a fresh and light tasting, with a lot of fruit flavor and nothing too syrupy or overpowering. Cinco de Mayo this year happens to be on a Thursday, which happens to be a very special margarita day at Fiesta Ranchero on South Neil in Champaign: All of its margaritas are half-off

on Thursdays. Its menu is a less extensive than Cocina Real’s, but they do have a variety of flavors. The bartender offered up his own personal rainbow margarita, which was a combination of mango, raspberry and blue curacao. It was quite good, and it looked fun and colorful. We also sampled a peach/coconut margarita, which had a bit too much coconut flavor, making it too sweet and difficult to finish, as well as a plain lime margarita on the rocks, which tasted a lot like a pre-bottled mix and nothing too extraordinary. It was, however, only $2, so that’s just a matter of priority per individual drinker. The bartenders were very friendly, though, and were helpful with selecting the margaritas. The bartender’s choice turned out to be the best one, so don’t be afraid to request something off the menu! An unexpected favorite was Esquire Lounge’s pineapple margarita. They house-make pineapple-infused tequila, which makes for a great shot on its own or an even better marg. This one is bright, fruity and light. It has a clean, fresh flavor and is dangerously drinkable. The pineapple flavor is perfect, not too strong, and makes for one of the best margaritas in town, in our opinion. Rather drink some ‘ritas at home? No worries — we got you covered. The simplest way to go is purchasing a mix and some tequila. You can also get the mix already with tequila in it,

Used with permission from Lee Coursey and The Creative Commons

but this margarita master prefers to add a bit more tequila, so you may want to buy both. A great premixed option is Jose Cuervo’s mango margarita. Jose also recently released a “light” marg mix which is actually a lot lighter then the regular lime margarita. It’s not as tart and goes down smoother, so don’t be afraid to pick it up. Hey, it may even counter those Geo’s Chicken Forearms & fries you demolish on your drunken

stumble home. Grab a blender, and move from on the rocks to a frozen treat. Another option is to get a Frutista Freeze from Taco Bell. Surprising, I know, but next time you have a craving for chalupas, ask for the Mango Strawberry Frutista Freeze to take home. Add a shot or two, and you have made the drivethrough margarita. But let’s be safe, folks, and wait till you’re home to add the booze.

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COLLEGE CLASSICS REVISITED: PASTA Pasta with a Mexican twist!

by Annalisa Rodriguez

ccording to the National Pasta Association, the first industrial pasta factory in America was built in 1848 by a Frenchman who spread the spaghetti strands on his rooftop to dry. Since then, it has become a staple in the diets of many Americans — including those of college students. The United States produces nearly 1.9 million tons per year. And who knew the popular food even had a month dedicated to it? (October is National Pasta Month.) It isn’t hard to figure out what makes pasta so appealing, however. It’s quick and easy, requiring simply boiled water and a jar of tomato sauce in its simplest form or, of course, the classic macaroni and cheese packaged in those blue Kraft boxes at grocery stores. If you’re looking for more exciting ways to make pasta than the typical noodles and tomato sauce, perhaps you can try taking the Italian food and putting a Mexican spin on it — just in time for Cinco de Mayo. Try out these dishes for a tasty way to celebrate.

Taco Pasta Salad

Tacos in Pasta Shells

Ingredients (yields 6 servings)

» 2 cups uncooked spiral pasta » 1 pound ground beef » 1 (1.25 ounce) package taco seasoning » 3 cups shredded lettuce » 2 cups halved cherry tomatoes » 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese » 1/2 cup chopped onion » 1/2 cup chopped green pepper » 1/2 cup Catalina salad dressing » Tortilla chips

Directions

1. Cook pasta according to package directions. Meanwhile, in a skillet, cook beef over medium heat until no longer pink; drain. Stir in the taco seasoning; cool. 2. Drain pasta and rinse in cold water; stir into meat mixture. Add the lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onion, green pepper and dressing; toss to coat. Serve with tortilla chips. Prep time: 10 minutes, cook time: 20 minutes

» 1 1/4 pounds lean ground beef » 1 (3 ounce) package cream cheese » 1 teaspoon salt » 1 teaspoon chili powder » 18 jumbo pasta shells » 2 tablespoons butter, melted » 1 cup taco sauce » 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese » 1 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese » 1 1/2 cups crushed tortilla chips » 1 cup sour cream

Directions

1. In a large skillet, brown beef over medium heat until no longer pink; drain. Add cream cheese, salt and chili powder; mix and simmer for 5 minutes. 2. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain. Toss cooked shells in butter. 3. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). 4. Fill shells with beef mixture and arrange in a 9x13 inch baking dish; pour taco sauce over

Used with permission from erin.kkr and The Creative Commons

shells. Cover with foil and bake in preheated oven for 15 minutes. 5. Remove dish from oven and top with cheddar cheese, Monterey Jack cheese and tortilla chips; return dish to oven to cook for 15 minutes more. 6. Top with sour cream and onions; serve. Prep time: 30 minutes, cook time: 30 minutes Recipes taken from www.allrecipes.com

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buzz

ust as boxers have the Rocky movies and cyclists have Breaking Away, video gamers now have their own film celebrating the world of digital adventure. Dark Maze Studio’s 2007 movie Press Start is inspired by the world of gaming and follows protagonist Zack Nimbus (Joshua Stafford), a typical suburban kid who finds himself recruited by Lin-Ku, a cantankerous ninja, and Sam, a fearless space hero, to save the world from an evil and eccentric sorcerer named Count Vile. Dark Maze was founded in 2005 by Ed Glaser after he had made a handful BUZZ of short films under a different label. THURSDAY MAY 5 generated numerous projects, Since then, it has corp note...keep this same size always such as the Press Start movies and Rampage (Korkusuz), an English-language dub of the 1986 1 X 5.417 Turkish remake of Rambo. The studio also propage duces the 1/8th “Deja View” series, which, according to Glaser, “showcases unauthorized foreign remakes of popular American films.” Glaser directed and produced Press Start and said he had the idea “back in college to create essentially ‘Video Game: The Movie,’ in which the protagonist woke up one day to discover that the world around him suddenly worked like a video game, and every kind of game trope, genre and archetype was combined into one zany universe.” Though he had a detailed idea for the film, he didn’t feel confident writing the script. “I mentioned the idea to my friend Kevin Folliard ... and he expressed interest in the project, so he took my vague ideas and fleshed them out into a great screenplay,” Glaser said. Everyone working on the film has had extensive experience with video games. Meagan Glaser, production designer of Press Start, said “the idea was to do a loving send-up of all games, but particularly the ones we grew up with.” The film features cameos by Daniel and Carlos Pesina, who play Sasori and Lei Gong and were actors in the original Mortal Kombat games. The composer of the film’s score is Jake Kaufman, a professional video game composer. The games referenced in Press Start are primarily of the 8- and 16-bit era of Nintendo Entertainment System and Sega Genesis gaming.

Used with permission from Dark Maze Studios.

Folliard, who wrote the screenplay for the film, says the movie draws from a large selection of games, including Mario, Sonic, Final Fantasy, Metroid, Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter and Legend of Zelda. There is also a brief homage to Dance Dance Revolution, when Zack must step on arrows in a certain succession in order to complete one of his challenges. The crew themselves faced certain obstacles while filming. “Budget was a major challenge, as we were effectively making a fantasy movie on a shoestring budget,” said Glaser. “We were constantly striving to keep the production design interesting and unusual with limited means. That involved a lot of repurposing and repainting. An action figure and a tissue box holder? A little glue and metallic paint, and it’s a trophy.” The Press Start crew made use of local locations for filming. “It’s pretty much all locally done. The Lincoln Hall steam tunnels, outside the Vet Med building, the abandoned nursing home currently used for police training — there are some nicelooking places in town,” said Meagan. The crew members also had strong ties to the University. Folliard, Meagan, and Ed are all graduates of UIUC. Peter Davis, who plays Count Vile, is an associate professor of theatre at the University, as is J.W. Morrissette, who plays Vile’s sidekick. Though it is difficult for such a film to reach a wide audience, those who have seen the film have enjoyed it, said Meagan. “It’s done well critically, but our favorite praise is when we get emails from people saying, ‘We

bought this for bad movie night to make fun of it, but it was actually pretty decent, and we had a laugh,’” said Meagan. Gamer news website Destructoid called Press Start the “best video game movie ever made.” “We were stunned with the positive response of the films,” said Ed. “It’s been exceptionally rewarding.” Ideas for the sequel, Press Start 2 Continue, were in the works as soon as the first film was completed. “We’d always wanted to [make a sequel], but were waiting for a miracle of funding to appear so we could do a bigger budget version,” said Meagan. “When that didn’t happen, we decided to go ahead and do a sequel anyway, with less money and time. ... It was too much fun to not do it again.” The online animated series Press Start Adventures fills in the events that occur between the first and second film and has been running since the first movie was released. In Press Start 2 Continue, Count Vile has returned and has renewed plans for world domination. Zack and Sam have been captured as his prisoners, and it is now up to LinKu and his new sidekick Princess Xanna to rescue them and stop Vile’s takeover. There is talk of returning to the Press Start Adventures series on darkmaze.com, but no plans for another film have been defined. “Right now, we’re taking a little breather,” said Folliard. “But we’re definitely open-minded about more Press Start stuff. I think the series still has life; it’s just a matter of finding the right way to continue with the characters and the universe.“

the217.com

Dick Fartin

MAY 5 - 11, 2011

WAIT ... EBERTFEST ALREADY HAPPENED? Let Nick tell you about it by Nick Martin Maybe you were running a marathon, listening to indie rock in a barn, competing in high school math competitions, getting competitively drunk at Beer Olympics, or doing productive work/ studying like an adult — regardless, last weekend was really busy. I understand if you didn’t have a chance to make it out to Ebertfest: I’m happy to fill you in on what you missed! First, if you’re wondering about what particular movies played and whether they’re any good, go check the217.com and read our reviews/coverage. That’s why we put them there. However, If you’re wondering about the festival in general — what worked, what didn’t, and amusing anecdotes — this article’s for you. After spending a week at Ebertfest, I think I’ve pinned down its raison d’etre. There are two types of movie festivals: ones for industry types, and ones for movie consumers — or, more aptly, typical dudes. Ebertfest is most certainly the latter. If you get a chance to go to Sundance, Cannes, or Toronto, it’s because you made a movie, work for a studio, write for a news or-

ganization or have a lot of money and connections. Ebertfest is the opposite. No contracts are signed, no news is broken. Anyone can go to Ebertfest — in a lot of ways, that’s the point. I’m not saying Ebertfest is strictly a gathering of Midwestern “common folk”; there are tons of journalists, artists and amateur-blogger hipsters (that’s me!) in attendance as well. Please indulge as I deconstruct the festival further. Ebertfest exists for three reasons: The NewsGazette, the University and ordinary people. These three factors are not mutually exclusive, nor are they meant to be taken entirely literally. Let me explain. Roger Ebert grew up in Urbana (read his review of 45365 for more info); he went to college at U of I (read his review of Synecdoche, New York for more info). Ebert used to work for The News-Gazette, and he remembers these years fondly. On page 64 of the Ebertfest program, Ebert writes, “Champaign-Urbana’s News-Gazette is locally-owned, not in a chain, and a damn fine paper. My first school of journalism.” The

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Gazette responds, “Thanks, Roger. We’re pretty fond of you, too.” (Then, it goes on to recommend you read Melissa Merli’s writing, which is something I suggest as well). Ebert really really likes Champaign-Urbana. I’m using The News Gazette as more of a symbol (a synecdoche, perhaps?) to represent CU. That’s why Ebert doesn’t have the festival in Chicago (where he lives now); he’s filled with pride for his hometown; plus, he probably likes the chance to eat at KoFusion. But that’s only a third of it. The College of Media is also essential in making this festival happen every year. Ebert and his wife, Chaz, are very transparent about this. Higher-ups in the College of Media plan everything from the logistics of getting filmmakers into town to making the website look pretty. The president loves it because it makes our University seem cultured, as apparent in his greeting letter in the program. Then, student volunteers handle the sundry of odd jobs as the festival unfolds: checking tickets, holding doors, popping popcorn, pointing at bathrooms. Finally, student media turn Ebertfest into an event — or we try, at least. That’s why our friends at the DI designed and printed the festival programs. If I’m allowed to go meta, it’s also a way to teach student writers how to cover a media event. Wait! Don’t forget the ordinary people! The “typical dudes” I mentioned earlier are the real reason the festival can exist. A cursory look around any screening’s crowd revealed that non-journalistic, non-University-affiliated adults — geriatric ones, in particular — are one of Ebertfest’s target demographics. I met a delightful lady from Ohio who told me that she and about 50 of her friends rode on a bus for six hours so they could watch movies at 1 p.m. in the afternoon (she also recommended I check out Reading Lolita in Tehran). Local ordinary people also have businesses that can afford to sponsor the festival in exchange for ad space; local ordinary people can take off work to watch a cartoon about a man’s relationship with his dog. Sometimes, ordinary people get tedious: Plenty of banal comments were disguised as “questions” during the festival’s Q&A sessions. And it’s silly to watch an old lady knit a scarf while Rachel Harris gives a provocative comparison between TV and movie acting.

Yet, other times, the “common-folk” ask much more interesting questions than the critics do: When a gentleman asked Norman Jewison why he made racially progressive movies during a time when movies like that risked being unpopular, Jewison provided an anecdote both touching and wistfully sad (if you’re reading this article, sir, that was a fantastic question). It makes sense that Ebertfest is a “people’s” film festival. Ebert himself is an egalitarian writer of art criticism. The reason he wins Pulitzers, publishes books, maintains a TV show and has almost half a million followers on Twitter (so jealous!) is because he proves that movies are fun. That’s why he calls upon his friends, his town and his University’s alumni to help him achieve the aforementioned in the most tactile of ways. Ebertfest manifests itself as a convergence between homebred old people, too-cool college kids, and a variety of writers/weirdos (the terms are synonymous). It also means I got a chance to sit 100 feet away from Tilda Swinton. Next year, skip exercise and binge drinking and plan to attend at least a couple of screenings! Thanks for the chill times, Ebertfest! It was totally rad! buzz

CALENDAR

MAY 5 - 11, 2011

Complete listing available at

THE217.COM/CALENDAR

SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at the217.com/calendar • E-mail: send your notice to calendar@the217.com • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 5

Lord Huron

House Party at Red Star

movies

fashion

mind/body/spirit

‘Appy Hour

DJ Tommy Williams

Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 10pm

w/ A. Frye and Terse

Srugim Viewing

Yarn n Yak

Hot Yoga

Silvercreek, U, 5:30pm,

Chester Street, C, 9pm,

live music

The Decadents

Red Star Liquors, U,

The Hillel Foundation, The

Rantoul Public Library,

Evolve Fitness Club, C,

$2-$10

Jazz in the Courtyard

Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm,

10pm

Margie K. and Louis N. Co-

Rantoul, 7pm

12pm, $10

FREE Happy Hour Show!

DJ Delayney

Yin Yoga

Memphis on Main, C,

Highdive, C, 10pm, $5

kids and families

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

6pm

DJ Cal Emmerich

BabyFest: Shake It Baby!

7pm, $12

Dry Creek Station

Boltini Lounge, C,

Memphis on Main, C,

10pm

Illini Union, U, 12pm

hen Center for Jewish Life,

dance music

Krannert Uncorked with FE- NOM jazz

Swing Dance

Krannert Center for the

Milk and Cookies at Klub

Illini Union, U, 9pm

stage

Champaign Public Library,

8pm, $5

10:45am

classes and workshops

Parrish Duo and Jim

dance music

Red Herring Coffeehouse,

Preschool Story Time

Job Hunting Webinar

Starks

Urbana Country Dancers

U, 9pm

Rantoul Public Library,

Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U,

Contra Dance

Rantoul, 3pm

9pm

Phillips Recreation Center,

food and drink

Open Stage at Red

C, 9:45am, 10:15am,

karaoke

Herring

DJ BJ Dance Night

DJ Bange

Po’ Boys, U, 8pm

Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U,

Performing Arts, U, 5pm

Kam’s

Billy Galt and Jeff Kerr

Kam’s, C, 8pm

AnSun, C, 7pm The Gavin Stolte Project Emerald City Lounge, C,

C, 7:30pm

Here Come the Regulars

8:30pm

Rantoul,

museum exhibit

U, 8pm, $4-$5

8pm

Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm

RockStarz Karaoke:

Cinco de Mayo with Live

House Party at Red Star

Presented by Seize A Mo- “Miracle within a

Karaoke Band

with Kirkwood West, Cal

ment Productions

Miracle: Johannes

Douglass Branch Library, C, Krannert Uncorked

House Party at Red Star

karaoke

10:30am

Krannert Center for the

with Kirkwood West, Cal

RockStarz Karaoke:

10am Baby Time

Boomerang’s Bar and Grill,

Emmerich, and Space

Senator’s Bar & Grill, Sa-

Reuchlin and the Jewish

U, 9pm

Police

voy, 9pm

Book Controversy”

Creative Movement for

Performing Arts, U,

Emmerich, and Space

Presented by Seize A

LIVE KARAOKE BAND at

Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm

Liquid Courage

U of I Main Library, U,

Young People

5pm

Police

Moment Productions

Karaoke

8:30am

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm

Senator’s Bar & Grill, Sa-

DJ Mella D

voy, 9pm

Boomerangs Bar and Grill Open Deck Night Boomerang’s Bar and Grill,

Radio Maria, C, 10pm

Memphis on Main, C, 9pm

U, 9pm

Stitches at The Clark Bar

RockStarz Karaoke:

Imaginary Posse

The Clark Bar, C, 10pm

Presented by Seize A Mo- The Great iPad Hunt

Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm,

DJ Luniks

ment Productions

Alma Mater Statue, C,

Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm

2pm

$5,

Firehaus, C, 10pm, $5

FRIDAY W 6

3:30pm,

campus activities

Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm

Karaoke at Po’ Boys

ARTfusion

live music

Dubstep Masquerade

Po’ Boys, U, 9pm

Douglass Branch Library,

Lukas Clide

Canopy Club, U, 9pm,

DJ Bange Karaoke

Illini Union, U, 12pm

$5-$10

Phoenix, C, 9pm

$72

C, 4pm

Come join us for our 2 year Anniversary Party! Featuring:

.357 String Band and The Blue Collar Bastards

55 E. Main St. Champaign, IL (217)398-1097

122

buzz

N. NEIL ST., CHAMPAIGN, IL. |

$3 32oz Loose Tap Beer $4 Jager Barrels $7 32oz U-Call it www.memphisonmain.com

217.356.6547

| IPPATSUSALON.COM

buz z ’s WEEK AHEAD

Emilame Sinerd

stage

mind/body/spirit

sporting event

A Midsummer Night’s

Yoga

House Party at Red Star

University of Illinois

Dream

Krannert Art Museum and

with Kirkwood West, Cal

Rodeo Stampede

The Rantoul Theater

Kinkead Pavilion, C, 12pm

Emmerich, and Space

Champaign County Fair-

Group, Rantoul, 8pm,

Vinyasa Krama Yoga with Police

$7-$10

Don Briskin

Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

DJ Belly

art exhibit

4pm, $12

Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm

Parkland College Graphic

Gong Bath

DJ Randall Ellison

Design Student Juried

University YMCA, C, 7pm,

Chester Street, C, 9pm, $3

Exhibition 2011

$25

DJ Space Police

Parkland Art Gallery, C,

Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm

10am

Parkland Art Gallery, C, 10am

miscellaneous museum exhibit

grounds, U, 6pm, $6-$12

Goth Night

International Coffeehouse The Clark Bar, C, 10pm

museum exhibit

“Miracle within a Miracle: Etc. Coffee House, U, 4pm

DJ Party at Emerald City

IBEX: Search for the Edge

Johannes Reuchlin and

Emerald City Lounge, C,

of the Solar System

11pm

William M. Staerkel Plan-

the Jewish Book Contro-

food and drink

versy”

Spring Luncheon and

U of I Main Library, U,

Lecture

dance music

Exhibition Opening

8:30am

Champaign Country Club,

Salsa Night with DJ Dr. J

Reception

Spring Prairie Skies

C, 12pm

Radio Maria, C, 10pm

Krannert Art Museum and

William M. Staerkel Plan-

Half Price Happy Hour

etarium, C, 7pm

Emerald City Lounge, C,

etarium, C, 8pm

Kinkead Pavilion, C, 5pm

concert

Amazing Stargazing

IBEX: Search for the Edge 5pm

The DigiTour 2011

William M. Staerkel Plan-

of the Solar System

Canopy Club, U, 6pm, $10

etarium, C, 7pm, $0-$5

William M. Staerkel Plan-

Saturday 7

etarium, C, 8pm

live music

MAY 5 - 11, 2011

the217.com

The DigiTour 2011! The Canopy Club 708 S. Goodwin Ave., U. Saturday, May 6

6 p.m.

Cost: $10

A bunch of YouTube stars are hitting the Canopy Stage to ... Well, the advertisements haven’t been very clear actually. The show will feature Dave Days, Mystery Guitar Man — holy shit I have heard of NONE of these people. This will probably be like that episode of South Park where all the YouTube celebrities guest starred: obnoxious, but rich with schadenfreude (that’s German for “poop joke”) Then again, it might be great! Regardless, I’m definitely going. — Nick Martin, Movies & TV Editor

CU BALLET: THE SLEEPING BEAUTY Virginia Theater 203 Park St., C. Sunday, May 8 2 p.m. $24 From elementary school through high school, I played flute. I was so involved in the music program, it consumed my life. Not to toot my own flute or anything, but I was damn good. Other than an overblown sense of accomplishment and an inflated ego, my involvement in music also gave me an appreciation for classical music, and Tchaikovsky is one of my favorite composers. Romanticism FTW! — Amy Harwath, Community Editor

The Chorale: Spring Concert

lectures

Faith United Methodist

Red Cross First Aid and

lectures

Candy Foster and Shades Church, C, 7pm

CPR

Spring Luncheon Lecture

of Blue Kentucky Derby

Veterinary Teaching Hos-

Krannert Art Museum and

Party

karaoke

pital —Small Animal Clinic,

Kinkead Pavilion, C, 12pm

Boomerang’s Bar and Grill,

RockStarz Karaoke:

U, 8am, $35

U, 1pm

Presented by Seize A Mo-

recreation

Sandunga CD Release

ment Productions

recreation

Freestyle

Party

Senator’s Bar & Grill, Sa-

Freestyle

Ice Arena, C, 9am

Iron Post, U, 6pm, $4

voy, 9pm

Ice Arena, C, 12pm

Stick and Puck Beginner

Live Jazz with Panache

Hockey

Jim Gould Restaurant, C,

open mic

Ice Arena, C, 1:30pm,

Ice Arena, C, 5pm, $6-$9

7pm

SPEAK!

$0-$5

Open Gym Volleyball

2nd Year ANNIVER-

Das Cafe, U, 3pm

Champaign County

SARY PARTY: .357 String

Brookens Administration

Band & The Blue Collar

stage

Kids Garden Club: Mini

Center, U, 5:30pm, $1

Bastards

A Midsummer Night’s

Scarecrows

Public Skate

kids and families

Memphis on Main, C, 8pm

Dream

Lake of the Woods For-

campus activities

Road Song

The Rantoul Theater

est Preserve, Mahomet,

Nintendo Wii

Buvons Wine Bar, U, 8pm

Group, Rantoul, 8pm,

10am, $5

Illini Union, U, 1pm

From Chicago-Sacred

$7-$10

Kids Arts and Crafts

Dawn, From Orlando-

CU Ballet: The Sleeping

Playshop

literary

Traverser, CPX, Thrash

Beauty

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Zionist Food for Thought

Zombie

Virginia Theatre, C, 11am,

11:15am, $96

The Hillel Foundation, The

Phoenix, C, 8:30pm

2pm, 7:30pm

Fairytale Ballet with Miss

Margie K. and Louis N. Co-

X-Krush

Comedy at the Castle

Donna

hen Center for Jewish Life,

Boomerang’s Bar and Grill,

Stand-Up Showcase

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

C, 12pm

U, 9pm, $5

Castle Theatre, Blooming-

12:15pm, $72

Graphic Novel Club

That’s No Moon

ton, 8pm, $15

Family Yoga

Rantoul Public Library,

Cowboy Monkey, C, 9pm,

Bare Ankle Burlesque

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Rantoul, 3:30pm

Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 10pm

1:15pm, $6-$12

Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 6 Taylor St., C. 10 p.m. - 2 a.m.

Wednesday, May 11

Get down with the dirty dancing. Come to Cowboy Monkey and show your moves. — Joe Lewis, Arts & Entertainment Editor

Mother’s Day Sunday, May 8

Cost: A fancy gift and all of your love and devotion

The one thing that separates us from animals and plants is our ability to appreciate our mothers or mother-like figures who could potentially be fathers or even animals and plants themselves. I knew a guy in Dallas who was raised by cacti and a couple of bears. — Adam Barnett, Music Editor

Finals Friday, May 6 - Friday, May 13 8 a.m. - 10 p.m. All around campus UIUC students only Cost: spring tuition I’m really not looking forward to next week at all. But I can’t escape it without failing. So, instead of having fun and enjoying spring, I and the majority of the campus will be knee-deep in useless facts that we spent an entire semester learning (but not really). So, sorry if your weeks suck. Deal with it. — Samantha Bakall, Food & Drink Editor

buzz

MAY 5 - 11, 2011

the217.com

fundraisers Grand Prairie Friends Native Plant Sale Lincoln Square Village, U, 8am

mind/body/spirit Yoga Fundamentals Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 9am, $12 Yoga Institute of CU Experienced Beginner Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 11:30am, $14 Yoga Institute of CU Introduction Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 11:30am, 5:30pm, $14 Saturday Power Flow with Corrie Proksa Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12

miscellaneous

CU Ballet: The Sleeping Beauty Virginia Theatre, C, 2pm Drag Show Chester Street, C, 10pm, $4

The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 11am

art exhibit

live music

Parkland College Graphic Design Student Juried Exhibition 2011 Parkland Art Gallery, C, 10am

One Dollar Wild Mondays Canopy Club, U, 10am Jesse Johnson Illini Union, U, 12pm

museum exhibit

School of Art + Design Bachelor of Fine Arts Exhibition Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am

House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm DJ Randall Ellison Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 Eletro/Industrial Night Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 ‘80s Night with DJ Mingram Highdive, C, 10pm

recreation Public Skate Ice Arena, C, 1:30pm, $0-$5

Champaign-Urbana Herb game-playing Society: 2011 Plant Sale Lincoln Square Mall, U, 8am Big Dave’s Trivia Night Cowboy Monkey, C, food and drink 7pm Sensational Saturday Trivia Night Tasting The Blind Pig Brewery, C, Sun Singer Wine & Spirits, 7pm C, 12pm mind/body/spirit Half Price Happy Hour Slow Flow Yoga Sundays Emerald City Lounge, C, with Luna 5pm Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Sunday 8 2pm, $12 Hatha Flow Yoga with live music Maggie Taylor Live Jazz with Panache Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Jim Gould Restaurant, C, 4pm, $12 7pm

classes and workshops

dj House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm

open mic Open Mic Nite Phoenix, C, 7pm, 9pm

stage A Midsummer Night’s Dream The Rantoul Theater Group, Rantoul, 2pm, $7$10

buzz

Monday 9

Salsa Dance Lessons: Beginners Capoeira Academy, C, 6pm, $5 Salsa Dance Lessons: Intermediate/Advanced Capoeira Academy, C, 7:30pm, $5

food and drink Champagne Brunch with a Diva! Emerald City Lounge, C, 10am, $12 Sandy’s Bagel Brunch and Games

game-playing Second Saturday Boardgaming Urbana Free Library, U, 2pm Puzzle Exchange Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 5pm Bingo Night Memphis on Main, C, 10pm

volunteer University YMCA presents: Dump & Run University YMCA, C, 9am

mind/body/spirit

Yoga Fundamentals Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12pm, $12 Yoga Institute of CU Introduction Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 5:30pm, $14 Hatha Flow Yoga with Grace Giorgio Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12 karaoke Yoga RockStarz Karaoke: St. Andrew’s Lutheran Presented by Seize A Mo- Church and Campus Cenment Productions ter, C, 7pm Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 10pm Tarot Reader Boltini Lounge, C, stage 7pm Monday Night Comedy Restorative Yoga Illini Union, U, 7pm Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 7pm, $12 museum exhibit Prana Flow Yoga “Miracle within a Miracle: Living Yoga Center, U, Johannes Reuchlin and 7:15pm, $15 the Jewish Book Controclasses and versy” workshops U of I Main Library, U, Poetry Workshop 8:30am Red Herring Coffeehouse, School of Art + Design U, 7:30pm Bachelor of Fine Arts Exhibition Krannert Art Museum and Tuesday 10 Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am

live music

recreation Freestyle Ice Arena, C, 4:30pm

campus activities Nintendo Wii Illini Union, U, 1pm Nutrition Walk In La Casa Cultural Latina, U, 5pm

Alec Stern Illini Union, U, 12pm Andy Moreillon Fat City Bar & Grill, C, 7pm Craig Gaskin and Friends Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 7:30pm Dueling Guitars Jupiter’s II, C, 8pm

The Piano Man Canopy Club, U, 9pm

dj House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm

dance music 8th Grade Dance Joe’s Brewery, C, 11pm

karaoke RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions The Corner Tavern, Monticello, 8pm Dragon Karaoke The Clark Bar, C, 9pm Rockstarz Karaoke Chester Street, C, 10pm

open mic Open Mic Tuesdays Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

campus activities Nintendo Wii Illini Union, U, 1pm Living LEAN Class Illini Union, U, 3pm Revive, Restore, Relax: Weston Wellness Weston Residence Hall, C, 3pm Knitting Club and Glee The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7pm

game-playing T-N-T Tuesday Night Trivia with Cara and Tanino Boltini Lounge, C, 7pm Trivia Tuesdays Memphis on Main, C, 7pm

kids and families Tuesday Twos Champaign Public Library, C, 9:45am, 10:15am, 10:45am

Creative Movement for Young People Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 10am, $72 Walk-in Storytime and Creative Play Class Act, C, 2pm, $2

lgbt Rainbow Coffeehouse Etc. Coffee House, U, 6pm

community Locals’ Night Po’ Boys, U, 4pm

fundraisers A Cause for Merci 2011 featuring Gov. Mike Huckabee Virginia Theatre, C, 7pm, $50

mind/body/spirit Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Hot Yoga Evolve Fitness Club, C, 12pm, $10 Hatha Flow Yoga with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12pm, $12 Yoga Institute of CU Experienced Beginner Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 5:30pm, $14 Introduction to Meditation Ananda Liina Yoga & Meditation Center, U, 7:30pm

classes and workshops Adult Pottery Class Boneyard Pottery, C, 9am, 6:30 pm, $25 Real Computing Help Douglass Branch Library, C, 6pm

Wednesday 11 live music Kirby Kaiser Illini Union, U, 12pm Donnie Heitler: Solo Piano Great Impasta, U, 6pm Live Irish Music Bentley’s Pub, C, 7pm

dj House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm DJ Tommy Williams Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 Country Night Highdive, C, 8pm DJ Randall Ellison Boltini Lounge, C, 9pm Old School Night Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm Wompdown Wednesdays: Chalice Mug Night! Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $1 I Love The ‘90s with DJ Mingram Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm

Living LEAN Class Illini Union, U, 3pm Weekday Orthodox Minyan and Breakfast The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7:30am

game-playing CU64 Chess Club McKinley Presbyterian Church and Foundation, C, 7pm Euchre Po’ Boys, U, 7pm

kids and families

Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, C, 8pm Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

Storyshop at the Branch Douglass Branch Library, C, 10:30am Outdoor Little SchoolEarth Day and Growing Gardens Anita Purves Nature Center, U, 3pm, $12-$24

karaoke

mind/body/spirit

RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Route 45 Wayside, Pesotum, 8pm SuperStar Karaoke AnSun, C, 9pm RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Fat City Bar & Grill, C, 10pm RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Geovanti’s, C, 10pm

Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Yoga Fundamentals Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12 Astanga Yoga Living Yoga Center, U, 9am, $15. Yoga and Meditation Club Class Asian American Cultural Center, U, 5pm Wellness Wednesday Activities and Recreation Center (ARC), C, 5:15pm Yoga Class Every Wednesday Ananda Liina Yoga & Meditation Center, U, 5:30pm Hatha Flow Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:45pm, $12

dance music

open mic Writ ‘n Rhymed Poetry Open Mic Women’s Resources Center, C, 8:30pm Open Mic Comedy Night Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Open Mic Nite Phoenix, C, 9pm

campus activities Nintendo Wii Illini Union, U, 1pm.

miscellaneous Cafe Ivrit Espresso Royale, U, 7pm

classes and workshops Improv Workout Class Act, C, 6:30pm, $10

CLASSIFIEDS Place an Ad: 217 - 337 - 8337

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• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

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30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

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Part time

Furnished

CHEAP

020

2 Bedroom Apartment $495/month Washer/Dryer August 2011 217-841-5407

Now accepting applications for an Electrical Engineer intern. Send your resume to dvdvoigts@gmail.com.

HELP WANTED Full/Part time

030

Durkin's Tavern 810 W. Diversey in Chicago is now hiring full/part time for the following positions: Door/Security, Waitress and Bartender. Durkin's is Chicago's home to Illinois Fighting Illini Athletics. Check us out on Facebook or at durkinstavern.com, email joe@bar1events.com for more info.

FOR RENT

rentals

APARTMENTS

Furnished/Unfurnished

410

Courtyard on randolph < 713 S. randolph > now leasing for 2011-12

Furnished/Unfurnished 2 & 3 bdrms. Near campus & downtown Champaign from $632/mo. Includes water, trash, parking, laundry facility, seasonal pool, all apts. have balconies.

420 APARTMENTS

Available June

Studios, 1, 2, 3, 4 BR Starting at $365 THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

1,2,3,4 Bedroom Apts. From $299/person Fall 2011 102 S. Lincoln 101 E. Daniel 203 S. Fourth 605 E. Clark 205 S. Sixth 808 S. Oak 101 S. Busey 805 S. Locust www.mhmproperties.com 217-337-8852

John Street Apartments

58 E. John, C. Fall 2011. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwasher, center courtyard, onsite laundry, leather furniture, ﬂat screens, parking. Starting at $298/ person. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

604 E. White, Champaign

Security Entrance For Fall 2011, Large studio, 1 bedroom Apartment. Furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

207/211 John C.

2 Bedrooms. Great Location, on-site laundry, parking. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

203 Healey, Champaign

Fall 2011. Great location on the park. Private balconies. Fully furnished 3 bedrooms. Leather furniture. Flat screen TV. Hardwood ﬂoors. Parking, laundry, value pricing. $265/person. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

307, 310 E. White, C 307, 309 Clark, C

Fall 2011. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Starting from $360/mo. Behind County Market. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

420 APARTMENTS

GREAT VALUE

306-308-309 White, C Fall 2011. Furnished studios, 1, 2, and 3 bedrooms. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking. Behind County Market. Starting at $265/person. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Old Town Champaign

510 S. Elm, C. Available Fall 2011. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood ﬂoors, laundry on-site, W/D, central air/heat, off-street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

509 Stoughton, C

Fall 2011 Near Grainger, spacious studios and 2 bedrooms, laundry, value pricing, parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Furnished

605 S. Fifth, C.

Fall 2011 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1 bedrooms available. Garage off-street parking, laundry, and value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

111 E. Chalmers, Champaign

4 Bedroom Blowout Only A Few Left! $250/person/month 111 E. Chalmers, 203 S. Sixth Hardwood, Leather Furniture, Flatscreen TVS THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

H H

HUGE!

H H

309 N. Busey – August 2011

2 BR Fully furnished, W/D, ethernet & parking. Close to Beckman. $310/person. Call Chris anytime. 841-1996 or 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, Champaign

For Fall 2011. Extra large efﬁciency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, Champaign THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

New Kitchens 2 or 3 Bedrooms $343/person Leather Furniture Behind IHOP University Group universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

June to June

509 E. White, C.

Fall 2011. Large Studio and 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, Champaign THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

705 W. Stoughton, U

Fall 2011 2 and 3 bedroom apartments. Spacious living area. Communal balcony & great backyard. Plus a bar area in kitchen, dishwasher, washer/dryer in each unit, value pricing. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

104 E. Armory Location!!! 3 - 4 Bedroom 2 Bath, Flat Screens $250/person Free Covered Parking University Group 309 S. First universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

602 E. Stoughton, C

Fall 2011. Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet. 2 Bedrooms starting at $387/person. Parking available. Must see! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Unfurnished

106 Daniel Champaign

Studios-4 Bedrooms!

430

Downtown Old Town Champaign

For Fall 2011. 1, 2 bedroom. Mardi Gras balconies with New Kitchens. New furniture, parking, laundry. Starting at $375/person. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Faron Properties Now leasing starting summer 2011. One to three bedrooms starting at $410. Call 217-352-8540 for appointment. View availbilities at www.faronproperties.com

HOUSES FOR RENT

510

BIG HOUSE

6-10 Person 5 Baths FREE PARKING Pool Table, Rec-Room www.zhengrentals.com 841-5407

4 BR House

1005 S. Second, Champaign

Many Great Campus Locations to Choose From!

420

307 - 309 Healey

Fall 2011 1 bedroom Location, location. New Kitchens and Flatscreen TV Covered parking, laundry, patios. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

420

2nd & Chalmers. 3 and 4 bedrooms, 2 Baths starting at $250/ person. Leather furniture. Flat screen TV. Remodeled kitchens. Walk-in closets. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

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APARTMENTS

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Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

MAY 5 - 11, 2011

Fall 2011. Great Location, spacious studios. Secured building. Private parking, laundry on-site. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

312 East Clark $350/person Free Parking August 2011 www.mhmproperties.com 337-8852

Summer 2011 leases available!

203 S. Sixth, C.

For Fall 2011. Large 3 and 4 bedrooms starting at $250/person. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Apartments 505 S. Fifth Street, Champaign, IL 61820 217-359-6108 Find JSM on Facebook! The JSM V.I.P. Program gives our residents exclusive discounts at local businesses!

NEWLY REMODLED 503 - 505 - 508 White 2 Bedroom with den $790 3 Bedroom $830-950

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Contact Andy at 217-369-2621

New Kitchens Hardwood Floors, Leather Furniture Flat-Screen TVS

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MEMPHIS ON MAIN CELEBRATES ITS ANNIVERSARY WITH MUSIC AND DRINKS Two Rockin’ Years by Sabrina Gosnell

ot all anniversary parties are held in the church basement with stale cake and homemade fruit punch. On May 7, the owners of Memphis on Main in downtown Champaign will throw the kind of anniversary party that would easily kick the ass of any other anniversary party that ever crossed your path. The Blue Collar Bastards, a band from Farmer City, kick off the night, followed by The .357 String Band for a show that is sure to leave your ears ringing and your liver screaming. Villa Grove and Tuscola natives Ben and Tiffany Meyer purchased Memphis on Main two years ago in a quiet and unexpected transaction. Though the couple was looking to buy into the bar industry, they had their sights set elsewhere and were not specifically looking for a music venue. Asked about how they came to Memphis, Ben Meyer said, “We kind of got lucky and fell into it.” Ending up with the venue has been a veritable dream come true for the couple, the kind of fluke that exceeds all expectations.

DOIN’ IT WELL

“It’s the best of both worlds, getting to own a bar and have live music,” Myer said. While Blue Collar Bastards are no strangers to the Memphis stage, this will The .357 String Band’s first time at the venue. While they have routinely played venues in Saybrook and Pekin, their central Illinois experiences have not yet brought them into CU. According to Joe Huber, the band’s banjo player, they are especially excited to play in a college town. The band has no shortage of fans; they are one of those bands with a cult-like following that manages to draw a crowd almost anywhere they play. Given their rowdy “streetgrass” style, .357 is especially popular among the down-home, working folks in the rural Midwest. Yet also because of that same style, they are likely to be well-received by the college crowd. Though they play bluegrass instruments and derive most of their inspiration from folk and roots music, the members of .357 have a history steeped in punk and metal, giving a distinct edge to their sound.

The band expects that some of their loyal locals will attend, but they also hope to attract some of the UIUC crowd. “We expect to see a lot of old faces, but hopefully some new faces too,” Huber said. “Hopefully some kids that will try something new, and we can get the young college kids to listen to bluegrass music.” Anyone who has seen Blue Collar Bastards live knows that their own crowd is a force in itself. Having played together for several years, they have developed a reputation for being a touch raucous and putting on a show that is unbelievably fun. Certainly their sound is both perfectly fitting with the campus and “townie”

by Jo SangEr and Ross Wantland

How We’ve Stolen Second Base W

e realized recently that Doin’ It Well has never written a column exclusively about boobs. Nipples, sure. But not a column that focuses on the fleshy, bouncy tissue that surrounds them. This week we decided to sneak a peek at boobs and — perhaps most fascinating — our cultural obsession with them! WHY WE LOVE ‘EM

Boobs are everywhere. And we’re talking about images of breasts in media and elsewhere. Sex sells, particularly female sexuality. Don Draper, a character in the AMC series Mad Men, commented on an ad featuring a sexy woman: “Men want her, women want to be her.” We learn from a young age, with the help of the media, that (certain) female bodies are sexy, sexual, arousing and pleasing. If any other body part, a penis for example, was socially constructed and presented in the same way, as an almost fetishized body part, then women and men would have similar associations to the penis as we do toward boobs. We’d stare, we’d expect men to show off a little more “package,” we’d probably even market underwear to “smaller” men specially designed to lift and enlarge your package! It is funny because that doesn’t happen in our culture — but that’s for another column. In our culture, it seems to be all about the boobs. Breasts, which are usually not fully revealed, become a very titillating (ha!) vision in our culture. It’s the flash of something we can’t quite see or have. 18

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crowd alike, and very congruent with .357. Blue Collar Bastards will start at 8:30 p.m., with .357 going on at 11:00. The cost of the show is $5 and folks must be 21 to enter. The list of drink specials is — as always with Memphis on Main — too long to outline.

It piques our interest and leaves us wanting more (not only of the breast, but also of whatever product is featured). Our conservatism around actually showing a fully-revealed female breast may add to its appeal. Even a parenting magazine showing a mother breast feeding her infant causes controversy in this country. So we consistently learn that breasts are always sexual no matter the context; like the sun, breasts are something we “steal” a glance at, rather than look at directly. This social construction of breasts as taboo to see but very desired, influences how we portray and therefore perceive breasts. This, combined with innate feelings of attraction, may be what makes breasts such a turn-on. PLAY THINGS

For many people, breasts are visually stimulating. Looking at all or part of a full breast or even just the cleavage can register messages of arousal and pleasure. But there’s more to why we like them. People may enjoy holding boobs, feeling the fullness, regardless of size, in their hands. Playing with them may reinforce for us everything that is feminine or womanly about our partner. This can be an added turn-on. The fun people have with breasts is just as varied as other body parts. Some like to put their face in between their partner’s breasts, sometimes stimulating one nipple, then the other. Motorboat

The bare truth about boobs!

is a term used to describe when a person (usually a man) shakes his face back and forth in between a woman’s bosom. Others enjoy “titty fucking,” where a woman squeezes her boobs together, stimulating the penis in between them. We’ve written previous columns on nipple play, and many women enjoy having their nipples stimulated through licking, nibbling, tugging, pulling or biting. Women can also enjoy having their breasts cupped or played with. Because women often like to have their breasts and nipples stimulated and because their partners may like or want to play with their boobs, it can sometimes get confusing about who the breast stimulation is for! Of course, we advocate for a sense of mutuality where both partners share in the sexual experience in a way that feels good to them both. At times, though, women can feel as if their boobs are more for their partner’s pleasure than their own. We also want to stress feeling empowered to own our bodies and to use them in ways that feel exciting and pleasurable to us; our bodies can’t only be vehicles to please someone else! Remember, it’s your sex life, too. SAVE THE TA TAS

Even breast cancer awareness and fundraising campaigns capitalize on our obsession with breasts. Slogans like “save the boobies” and “save the ta tas” are fun and appealing, probably be-

cause it offers an outlet for people to be a little shocking while still supporting a good cause. This works well with young people and men. Our critique of these campaigns lies in the fact that in a culture where women are often valued more for their bodies than other parts of who they are, “save the boobies” in some ways reinforces that a woman’s breasts are what’s valuable, instead of her as a whole person. These campaigns also say, “save the objectification!” Jo & Ross appreciated all the fans who stopped by our booth at Sex Out Loud to say hi to us! Check back here next week when we look at summer loving ... at home. Send Jo & Ross a topic to write about in their column

SEX 411

HOLD YOUR COMMENTS » It is also important to consider that our cultural fascination with the female breast can lead to people making comments to women about theirs! We’ve heard men say openly “nice rack” or “motorboat!” to women. This can make women feel uncomfortable. We can admire people’s bodies and recognize our own turn-ons while also respecting the women in our lives.

the217.com MAY 5 - 11, 2011

April showers bring May flowers!

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES

March 21-April 19

Imagine this scene, as described by Seattle-based video artist Michael Douglas. “Sometimes a tree falls down in a field of cows, and the cows walk over to it and stare at it. It used to be standing and now it’s on the ground. There’s something different in the field and the cows start to hang out around the tree and watch it like it’s television, attracted to the rupture in the order of things. They gather around it for months, even after they completely forget why they started doing it.” I think there’s a comparable scene going on in your life right now, Aries. People you care about are in a daze, seemingly hypnotized by a certain “rupture in the order of things” that took place some time ago. In my opinion, it’s your task to wake them up, gently if possible, and motivate them to move on.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

GEMINI

May 21-June 20

You’re an animal! And I mean that in the best senses of the word. Your vitality is heading toward peak levels, and your body is as smart as it gets. If you were ever going to act as if every move you make is a dance, now would be the time to do it. If you ever wanted to explore the righteous blending of grace and power, this is a perfect moment. Give yourself permission to be a fluid bolt of ingenious fun, Taurus. Play hard and sweet, with sublime ferocity.

“Make the invisible dark force beautiful.” That was the first line of the horoscope I wrote for you in my dream last night. Here’s what came next: “Create a song out of your moans. Brag about your wounds. Dance reverently on the graves of your enemies.” Does any of this make sense to you so far? It all seemed perfectly reasonable and helpful in my dream. “Sneak a gift to your bad self. Dissolve the ties that bind you to hollow intelligence. Seek the angel near the funky gulley that winds through no man’s land. Dig for treasure in the muddy puddle where the single lily grows.” If you can align yourself with its spirit, I bet you’ll be primed for the waking-life opportunities that are headed your way.

CANCER

June 21-July 22

Writing in the *Journal of Medical Ethics,* psychologist Richard Bentall proposed that happiness be reclassified as a “psychiatric disorder” -- a pathology that should be treated with therapy. “Happiness is statistically abnormal,” he argued. It “consists of a discrete cluster of symptoms, is associated with a range of cognitive abnormalities, and probably reflects the abnormal functioning of the central nervous system.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re about to be besieged by a massive influx of good feelings. It may be hard for you to fend off surges of unreasonable joy, well-being, and gratitude. So let me ask you: Are you prepared to enter into rebel mode as you flaunt your abnormal bliss?

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

Two British men, Jack Jones and Chris Cuddihy, pulled off an epic deed in 2009. They ran seven marathons in seven consecutive days on seven continents. Each marathon was over 31 miles. (More info here: 7in7on7. com.) I’m not recommending that you try something as ridiculously excessive as they did, Leo, but I do want to note that you’re now in a phase when your capacity for amazing feats is bigger than usual. Do you have any ideas about what you could accomplish that’s beyond your expectations?

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

What have you had to relinquish in the past ten months, Virgo? What were you forced to sacrifice or surrender? Whatever it is, I predict you will be compensated for it over the course of the next 12 months. And the process begins soon. It’s not likely that the incoming blessing will bring an exact replacement for the dream that got away. Rather, you will be awakened to an unexpected new source of excitement, thereby dissolving the lingering sense of loss and liberating you to rise again.

LIBRA

MAY 5 – 11 Sept. 23-Oct. 22

If given the choice between having our lives change or keeping our lives the same, many of us would choose the status quo. We tend to feel that even if the current state of things is uncomfortable, it’s still preferable to having to deal with the uncertainty and fear that come from transformation. But I don’t think you fit this description right now, Libra. Of all the signs of the zodiac, you’re the one that’s most receptive to shifting the mood and experimenting with the rules. It’s easier than usual for you to imagine different ways of doing things. Take advantage of this superpower.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

jonesin’

by Matt Jones

“Bearing the Runt”--for the rainiest of us.

Hugo Chavez is the socialist president of Venezuela, not an astronomer or New Age philosopher. And yet he recently speculated that the planet Mars once had a thriving civilization that met its doom because its resources were drained off and poisoned by the excesses of capitalism. I love it when notable people go off-message and freestyle wacky fantasies, so I applaud Chavez’s improvisation. May I respectfully suggest you consider indulging in your own version of this art form? According to my reading of the astrological omens, it would be downright healthy for you to depart from your usual raps and unveil some unpredictable self-expressions to anyone and everyone who think they have you all figured out.

Symmetry and equilibrium are not all that valuable right now. They’re certainly not worth obsessing over or having screaming fights about. In fact, I recommend that you cultivate a jaunty knack for stylish lopsidedness. Appreciate the beauty of irregularity. Be alert for the way incongruous details and crooked angles reveal fresh, hot truths that provide you with exactly what you need. Even so-called flaws and mistakes may lead to lucky accidents.

“It was better for me when I could imagine greatness in others, even if it wasn’t always there,” said Charles Bukowski, a generally cranky writer not renowned for his optimism. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, this strategy will also work wonders for you in the coming days. Trying to see what’s great about other people will tend to activate your own dormant greatness, and will just generally make you feel good. So ask yourself: What’s beautiful, smart, interesting, and successful about the people you know? Fantasize aggressively.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

The income gap between the richest and poorest sections of society has always been large, but in recent years it has grown absurdly, grotesquely humongous. As journalist Les Leopold notes (bit.ly/RichEatPoor), there are hedge-fund gamblers who rake in more money in an hour than a middle-class wage-earner makes in 47 years. From an astrological perspective, Aquarius, it’s an excellent time for you to raise your voice against this inequity. Furthermore, you’d be wise to dramatically shrink the discrepancy between the haves and have-nots in your own personal sphere, where you can actually have an immediate effect. You might start the healing by asking yourself how the rich aspects of your psyche steal from the poor parts.

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20

There’s a good chance you will soon utter the smartest words you have ever said in your life. It’s also possible that you will generate two of the top five thoughts that have popped into your brain in the last decade. That’s how in tune I expect you to be with your inner sources of wisdom. And that’s how closely aligned you’ll be with the Divine Intelligence formerly known as God. Now here’s the surprise ending to my message for you, Pisces -- the unexpected outcome: Your brilliant insights and cogent statements may tempt you to be wilder and freer than you’ve been in a long time.

Stumped? Find the solutions in the Classifieds pages.

Across 1 Part of a dashboard display 1 Apple or blueberry 4 Down in the dumps 8 Peevish 14 Three-wheeler, e.g. 15 Pet food brand with a pawprint logo 16 Bullring hero 17 Part of a San Francisco movie car chase? 19 Full of sex and violence, perhaps 20 Washington : 1 :: ___ : 5 21 Sine ___ non 22 Nashville sch. 23 Magazine for bakers? 27 “The Simpsons” lawyer Lionel 29 Tarzan raiser 30 Commedia dell’___ 31 Melodic offshoot of punk rock 32 Pot starter 34 Disgusting sort 36 So fresh that Ayn gets punished for it? 42 Pump output 43 Furniture wood 44 Eggs, to a biologist 45 Move slowly (forward) 48 “Water ___ Elephants” 49 Future CEOs’ degrees

50 Shipping yourself crosscountry in a crate? 55 Tyler of “Empire Records” 56 Neither companion 57 Bands together 60 “___ Restaurant” 62 Activate everything in the house with the doorbell? 64 Computer-savvy person 65 Cooking acronym used by Rachael Ray 66 Ambient rocker Brian 67 Ford flops 68 Auto body repair task 69 They sneak up on U

Down 1 Chicken ___ (Italian dish, casually) 2 “___, Sing America” (Langston Hughes poem) 3 Northwestern University’s city 4 Actress Phillips 5 “Today” co-anchor Matt 6 “Lemme think...” 7 Zener cards measure it 8 Kerri who won gold at the Atlanta Olympics 9 Singer-pianist Jones 10 Kind of tax shelter 11 Person stroking a cat, e.g. 12 H.S. test-before-a-test

13 “Hey brah, over here!” 18 Surgeon on daytime TV 21 Neighbor of Ont. 24 Brent Spiner’s best-known role 25 Like some sandals 26 “___ Mopp” (Ames Brothers hit) 27 “___ Majesty” (Beatles song) 28 “Be Cool” actress Thurman 32 “___ was about to say...” 33 “Morning Edition” broadcaster 34 Toscano voted off of 2011’s “American Idol” 35 Tattoo fluid 37 Willy Wonka creator Roald 38 Deborah of “The King and I” 39 Just as good, with “than” 40 Model Herzigova 41 Existed 45 The White Rabbit’s exclamation 46 Stuck, like a landing 47 Some Hondas 48 Guy on the dime 49 DCCLI doubled 51 Ninja Turtles reporter/cohort April 52 Valentine’s Day bunch 53 Like some poorly-formed sentences 54 Gold brick 58 Long times to wait

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MAY 5 - 11, 2011

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AND ANOTHER THING ...

by MICHAEL COULTER

a taxing decision What to do with this year’s refund Of course, you could always just take a regular vacation. The problem is that real vacations are usually more draining than actual work. It’s basically a few days in a place you aren’t familiar with sandwiched by an aggressive body cavity search on the first and last days. Sure, you may see the Eiffel Tower or the Space Needle, but I can guarantee the first story you’ll be telling when you get back home is about the TSA agent who stuck his hand up your ass. If you’d prefer to be handled in a less aggressive way, you could always spend your tax refund check on a spa day. You can relax, have a few drinks and have someone rub you all day. It’s essentially the same way that those It might even be a fine thought to use Kobe beef calves are treated, except the money to take a class on making there won’t be a slaughterhouse waiting at the end of the line. It’s important investments. Ironically, after you pay to remember that if the first thing you tell your friends after the spa visit is for the class, you won’t have any about a person once again sticking a more money to actually invest. Still, hand up your ass, you probably picked the wrong kind of spa. it might save you a little time next You could always make a different kind of investment and join a gym. refund season. The general idea is that you are investing in yourself and your future. Of course, I’m here to help. For disclosure’s The reality is that joining a gym will give you sake, I’ve got my refund back, and most of it is something to do for an hour after work. This will already spoken for. I don’t want to give anything usually last somewhere between two and three away, but let’s just say the dog won’t have his weeks. It becomes like a firecracker on July 5: It’s testicles by the time this article is published. there, and it might be sort of fun, but it’s really just I’m fairly sure he wishes we could all get to- hard to find the energy to care about it anymore. If you’re going to insist on bettering yourself in gether and come up with a better use for the money — any use at all, any freaking use at all. some way with your tax refund, you could always Anyway, since my money will soon be gone, I take a class and learn a little something. It might will have to live vicariously through everyone even be a fine thought to use the money to take else and help find some more entertaining ways a class on making investments. Ironically, after to spend their money. you pay for the class, you won’t have any more The first thing that comes to mind is to make a money to actually invest. Still, it might save you sound investment. Sure, it’s probably a wise deci- a little time next refund season. sion, but let’s be honest — it’s not all that much If you really want to feel good about yourself, fun. It’s like getting a brand new, high-powered donate the money to a worthwhile charity. It will speedboat and using it for fishing. Let’s quickly help others and make you feel good in the promove on from such an idea. cess. There are tons of fine charities out there, Perhaps we should have a look at the more so I don’t want to seem like I’m playing favorites, enjoyable option: the unsound investment. This but I will say that the Michael Coulter Summer category has more choices anyway. Many people Drinking Fund is a fine and completely legitimate have the idea to take all the money to a casino and charity that could really use your cash. You can make one enormous bet to double their cash. This even write your donation off of next year’s taxes, is a terrible idea and ultimately boring. It hardly especially if you’re the type of person who really likes to be audited. ever works out and doesn’t last very long. The best idea overall may just be to do nothing It’s far more interesting to go to a casino and slowly piss your money away. You’ll still lose with the money. Enjoy a few precious moments of all your money, but it will take longer. You can having some cash in your pocket. You’re basically pretend you are on a vacation, a terrible, ter- buying some peace of mind. You can look at things rible vacation where you get to pretend you’re and say, “Wow, I could buy that if I wanted, but a compulsive gambler. It’ll be a hoot to really get I don’t think I will.” You can even give yourself a into character and sob uncontrollably in the rest few extra treats a week. Once the money’s gone, room. It’s a real “slice of life” sort of holiday and there’s not even a need to worry. The government can possibly act as an immunization for future is already saving your money so you can get another check next year. gambling urges. This is a fun time of year for some people. It’s not the weather or the film festivals or the marathons, though. They’re excited because they will soon be getting their tax refund checks back from The Man. Fine, it was technically their money to begin with, so it probably shouldn’t be a big deal, but it is. Getting the check is the easy part, however. Deciding how to spend all the money is the tricky part.

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