Buzz Magazine: May 12, 2011 by Buzz Magazine

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VOL9 NO19

MAY 12, 2011

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IN THIS ISSUE CU AROUND TOWN!

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buzz writes to its favorite films.

SHOW UP

Be prepared for any concert, like ...

HIPSTER FEST ‘11

What to expect at Summer Camp this year

CHEERS 5 ON THE217.COM COMMUNITY How’s Esteban doing in Europe? Read his column, “Europe Travels with Esteban Gast,” to find out!

Five things to make your local summer

MOVIES & TV Glee’s pretty cool, right? Yeah, it is. Read our review of it. Also, buy Glee’s soundtrack. I hear they’re not making enough money and they’re at risk of being canceled. (Just kidding LOLZ.)

MUSIC The weather is getting warmer and no one knows what to do about it. No one has any idea. That’s why buzz is supplying you with a warmer weather playlist. Find it online this week and use it where ever its influence might take you.

FOOD & DRINK With all that time you won’t be spending in class or working on homework, you should eat lots of food and watch lots of movies. Let “Movies with an Appetite” help you out! Look for it online Friday.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Hunter S. Thompson fans, check out haiku reviews from some of HST’s less-known articles published in the anthology The Great Shark Hunt. The concise look into the work of one of the most famous renegade journalists will be online Friday.

CALENDAR

Your guide to this week’s events in CU

EDITOR’S NOTE DYLAN SUTCLIFF

If you haven’t already guessed, I have a bit of a Peter Pan complex. So far, my notes have been about pee popcorn, a childhood injury, a crush from fourth grade and, most recently, Dildo Slutcliff — it doesn’t take much to put it together. This isn’t something that I’m delusional about, I’ve been aware of my fear for quite some time now. In grade school, my friends and fellow students yearned for time to pass quicker in hopes that they could jump into awe-inspiring adulthood and skip the powerless and confusing phase of childhood. This never made sense to me. I believe now that I never had the same attitude towards growth because, in essence, I don’t think anything will ever become much clearer. As a child, everything is new and it’s one’s job to merely become adjusted. This doesn’t change much with age; the only difference is that the guiding hand of the “knowing” adult leaves, or is probably just cast away, and we are left to discover everything alone. This isn’t meant to be taken as depressing or contrived. I know that I am only 20 and the full weight of the world has yet to come crashing, but at the end of another school year, I can’t help but think it over. I think the best metaphor for what I’m trying to say is in the history of how I dress myself. At first my mother did it for me, and during this time I wore things like little suits and purple shorts (not together). This probably wasn’t the best fit for my personality, but I didn’t know any better and my mom did the best she could. Once I started dressing myself things got confusing. For a time, I may have thought I had it down, but I didn’t. One day I wore a sweatshirt without an undershirt to middle school and ended up really sweaty and then embarrassed when people asked me, “Why are you only wearing a sweatshirt?” Even now I still attest that I’m kind of on square one. There is never a day where I’m completely confident in what I’ve chosen to wear, and there will always be those times where for one reason or another I find out at the very end of the day that I have a hole in my crotch. But whatever, if people seeing my crotch every once in a while is the worst that happens then it’s not too bad.

the217.com MAY 12 - 18, 2011

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UP!

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Peggy Fioretti Managing Editor

market at the square

buzz staff

Cover Design JoAnne Pierce Editor in Chief Dylan Sutcliff Managing Editor Peggy Fioretti Art Director Olivia La Faire Copy Chief Emily Siner Photography Editor Sean O’Connor Image Editor Peggy Fioretti Photographers Eric Kwan, Dana Taylor, Jaci Wandell Designers, Sanny Lin, JoAnne Pierce Music Editor Adam Barnett Food & Drink Editor Samantha Bakall Movies & tv Editor Nick Martin Arts & entertainment Editor Lauren Hise Community Editor Amy Harwath CU Calendar Elisia Phua Copy Editors Drew Hatcher, Emily Blumenthal, Maggie Puniewska Marketing/Distribution Brandi Willis EDITORIAL ADVISER Marissa Monson Publisher Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ

If your vegetables come out of a can and the closest thing to fruit you eat is strawberry Starburst, it’s time to put on the big kid pants and move on to the real thing. You can find a large variety of real fruits, vegetables and a variety of other food products at Urbana’s Market at the Square. This local farmer’s market will satiate your cravings for artichokes (who doesn’t crave them?) and more every Saturday from 7 a.m. to noon at Lincoln Square. The market started about 33 years ago by local farmers, said Lisa Bralts, the market director. Since then, it has expanded to include more vendors but also more goods such as honey, flowers, cheese, frozen meat and even performances. The performances are actually quite a unique aspect of the market. “We don’t actually book the performances,” said Bralts. “It is a lot like a street busking atmosphere.” The performers typically just show up and rock out. Past shows have included indie rock, jazz, bluegrass and spoken word. “A lot of patrons like the atmosphere,” said Bralts. “And as a director, I prefer it myself because it gives a lot of people the opportunity to play, and it’s a good place to give them exposure.” While farmer’s markets are feared by the frugal because of a greater cost, Bralts said that is not always the case. “Costs are typically the same for products, if not much lower, for a higher quality product that’s also super fresh and grown locally,” she said. No need to crack your piggy bank to support local farmers. The market is located on Illinois and Vine, at the corner lot of Lincoln Square Mall and will continue (rain or shine!) until Nov. 5.

On the Web www.the217.com Email buzz@readbuzz.com Write 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 CALL 217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © Illini Media Company 2011

» Aragorn’s perfection: Fuck. Where do I begin? Not only does he have the most beautiful face on Middle-earth, but his swordsmanship is so damn excellent that I’ve fallen in love with a fictional character. Let’s talk about that scene in The Two Towers where he approaches the pile of Uruk-hai with Legolas and Gimli. How are you so smart, Aragorn? Why do you know every movement the hobbits took by mere marks in the grass? Who else would lead an entire army to potential doom by yelling, “FOR FRODO!”? Be mine, baby. P.S. Your half-up/halfdown hairstyle ... drool. » Howard Shore: The film adaptation of the trilogy would be significantly shittier without you. Your score makes me weak at the knees. Every single song you created for the movies makes me want to cry, specifically “Gollum’s Song” at the end credits of The Two Towers. Oh my god. » Sam’s monologues: “It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo...” I can’t go on. I’m going to cry.

LISTEN TO THE FACTS.

GRIPES Amy Harwath Community Editor

» Saying Frodo and Sam are “gay”: Okay, there are several things wrong with this claim. 1) NO, THEY’RE NOT! 2) Do you have something against gay people? GOSH don’t be so intolerant! 3) Listen. If you went through mountains, Elvish realms, battled neither living nor dead kings of old and faced death on multiple occasions with someone and then were trapped on a small island of rock surrounded by a river of lava just waiting for your final demise with that person, of COURSE you’re going to hold each other. He’s your best friend, and you’ve been through everything together. Plus, Sam marries Rosie Cotton later, and she’s totally hot. Guys, they’re not gay! » Where’s Tom?: Peter Jackson, I thought you did a really good job on the movies. For realz. But the thing is, I’ve read the LOTR books, too, and Tom Bombadil is the best part of the entire trilogy. But you failed to include him. I know you didn’t want to make the Fellowship five hours long instead of three, but honestly, Tom and his pony Fatty Lumpkin are my faves. So ... we’re not friends anymore. » Eowyn: Listen, girlfriend. I know you’re mackin’ on Aragorn. Who isn’t? He’s a hot slab of Dunedain man. But he’s Arwen’s. They’ve been together, for like, ever. She totally gave him her pretty sparkly necklace of Elvish immortality. It’s basically a promise ring. Eowyn, he’s never going to get with you. You need to back off. Get real, get over it and move on.

OUR MUSIC LIBRARY IS 12,000 SONGS.

THEY WOULD COST $11,800 ON ITUNES.

THIS EQUALS 15,038 TACOS FROM TACO BELL.

buzz

relax, it’s summer

Five things to do in CU to start your summer off right

by Avani Chhaya

ith rays of orange-yellow sunlight finally streaming in through the windows, staying indoors may be impossible. Here are some wonderful ideas for basking in the summer sun while dwelling in the CU area.

2. Bust out those running shoes In order to burn off the calories from that delicious chocolate dessert at your picnic, it is high time to find those smelly, tattered running shoes buried within the depths of your closet. Going for a run on the cobble-stoned sidewalks of Urbana or the residential parts of Champaign may be the escape you need to relieve some stress, tone those muscles and feel good about yourself. Mancuso said for bikers, walkers, runners or even in-line skaters, Meadowbrook Park, Crystal Lake Park and Busey Woods are good places for residents to utilize. Busey Woods, for example, has a boardwalk with a one-third mile loop into the deeper woods.

4. View plants at their finest Become one with nature by identifying plants at the Arboretum on campus. With Japan House next door, the Arboretum’s gardens are home to hundreds of flowers, according to its website. There are also a variety of different themed gardens in the Arboretum. While Noel Welcome Garden has shadowed walkways with crabapple hedges, the Idea Garden experiments with ornamental gardening styles housing colorful veggies.

Used with permission from Mykl Roventine and The Creative Commons

Used with permission from calydelphoto and The Creative Commons

1. Have a picnic A la Yogi Bear during camping season, it is only appropriate to don a hat, neck tie and picnic basket. While you’re at it, grab that red and white checkered blanket, too. You can lay your troubles aside and devour the sweet summer fruit in season at many places in the area. Dana Mancuso, public information manager at Urbana Park District, said the Urbana alone has 20 park sites and eight facility buildings with picnic tables. Picnics can be as simple as having a couple of sandwiches and juice boxes, or you can fancy it up with a cheese and cracker platter, a fruit salad or a main course of some pasta salad followed by a decadent chocolate dessert.

3. Drink tea at Japan House Japan House, across the street from the College of Veterinary Medicine, is an elusive part of campus that will host tea ceremonies throughout the summer months. Through June and July, tea ceremonies will be held every Thursday afternoon at 2 p.m. Cynthia Voelkl, assistant director at Japan House, said tea ceremonies are “one of the oldest and most revered cultural art forms” — they turn the act of preparing and sharing tea into an art. On serene grounds, Japan House holds tea ceremonies that allow students and community members to be a part of these features of Japanese culture. Bowing is customary, respect is absolutely necessary, and drinking the tea is a must for this summer event.

don’t eat me!

Used with permission from Josiah Mackenzie and The Creative Commons

Japan House garden. Photo by Jaci Wandell

5. Watch the summer sunrise or sunset Nothing is better than waking up in the wee hours of the morning, half-asleep, to get the first glimpse of the sunrise. With streaks of orange, purple, yellow and reds smeared across the expanse of sky, this is a simple pleasure one can enjoy free of charge with the people you love. Catching that early morning sunrise way too painful for you night-owls? Sunsets are great, too, with the sun dipping below the horizon, leaving us in a shower of summery stars.

Educate yourself on local poisonous plants

by Max Huppert

s the weather begins to finally get warmer, most of us will be spending more time outdoors. Many poisonous plants are native to the state of Illinois, and it’s especially important to be knowledgeable about them if your children or pets are roaming around outside. The types and effects of poisonous plants have considerable variety. Some, like the hyacinth or iris, can cause serious problems if ingested, and it’s worth being aware of their potential harm even though poisoning from these plants is rare. Other plants, including oleander and rhubarb, can be fatal to children and even some adults if eaten and not properly treated afterward. Of course, it is always important to identify any wild mushrooms before ingesting them, although most mushrooms in the area are non-poisonous. Children should be warned 4

buzz

not to eat any mushrooms or plants that they find outside. The University actually keeps a garden of poisonous plants year-round that allows visitors to check out some of the more dangerous native plant life. The garden itself is a collection of more than 90 plants, generally those native to Illinois or commonly found in households in the area. Building a garden that consists entirely of poisonous plants sounds only a few steps away from a crazy idea, but it serves the important purpose of educating the public about the dark side of our beloved local flora. This garden is located just northwest of the College of Veterinary Medicine building. Many of the plants on display are poisonous only to other animal species, but the garden contains quite a few plants that can be harmful to humans as well. This

particular garden is a decent trip south down Lincoln Avenue from the epicenter of the University, but it’s definitely worth checking out on a nice sunny day — it’s near the Arboretum and other gardens, so visitors can educate themselves and enjoy the outdoors at the same time. Poisonous plants are also worth looking out for if you have pets because some plants that are non-poisonous for us humans can be very harmful to animals. For example, tiger lilies can cause serious kidney problems for cats, and consumption of hibiscus by dogs can be lethal in some cases.

Used with permission from Ian Sane and the Creative Commons

Most of these problems can easily be avoided simply by not letting your pet munch on unidentified plants. A full listing of poisonous plants in Illinois is available at www.idph.state.il.us/public/books/summer3.htm.

Food

Drink

May 12 - 18, 2011

the217.com

How It’s Made: Chocolate Chip Cookies Insomnia’s Rick Smith gives buzz hints on baking cookies by Amy Harwath

ou’re growing up. Accept it. It’s a fact of life. Those childhood pleasures and indulgences you used to delight in are gone. Among them: grandma’s cookies. Let’s face it, you can’t count on grandma to make you cookies forever. Just like how you’ll have to pay taxes, sooner or later you’re going to have to learn to make chocolate chip cookies on your own. So the question remains: How do you make your cookies taste just like grandma’s? Believe it or not, a number of tricks and variations on baking methods can have a significant impact on how your chocolate chips cookies turn out. Some people like the ooey gooey, melt-inyour-mouth, the-dough’s-still-raw cookies. Insomnia Cookies, located at 502 E. John St. in Champaign, is the go-to sweet spot for soft cookies. Rick Smith, the manager at Insomnia, was not at liberty to disclose any of the recipes. However, he did offer one nugget of advice on how to bake cookies. “There’s just something about a convection oven,” he said, which is what Insomnia uses to bake their goods. A convection oven uses a built in fan that circulates the heated air through the oven, which allows for the cookies to cook more

is the temperature of the butter and eggs used. If you want the cookies to spread out more, make sure the butter and eggs are at room temperature when you mix them in to the batter. For a thicker, domed, drop-shaped cookie, the butter and eggs can be cold. Using more butter will result in a crispier cookie, but reducing the amount of butter will yield a softer batch.

Used with permission from D. Sharon Pruitt and The Creative Commons

evenly. Typical ovens that you most likely have in your house or apartment are conventional ovens, which radiate heat from a heat source (usually heating coils near the bottom of the oven). Unfortunately, this does not spread the heat around, and food usually does not cook as evenly as it would in a convection oven.

Destihl drops in

Insomnia bakes its cookies at 325 degrees for four minutes, then rotates the cookies and allows them to cook for four more minutes. Smith said you know when the cookies are done when they are golden brown on the edges but still soft in the middle. A second nugget of knowledge that can be used to manipulate how your cookies come out

» 1 cup sugar (or 1/2 cup) » 1 cup packed brown sugar » 1 cup butter » 2 eggs » 3 cups flour » 1-1/2 teaspoon vanilla » 1/2 teaspoon salt » 1 teaspoon baking soda » 1 bag chocolate chips (12 ounces) 1. Mix together sugars, butter, eggs and vanilla. 2. Add flour, salt and baking soda. Mix well. Add chocolate chips and nuts, if desired. 3. Drop by teaspoon (or use a tablespoon) onto greased cookie sheet (or use baking sheets lined with parchment paper). Bake at 375 degrees for 10-12 minutes.

The long-awaited gastrobrewery finally lands in Champaign

by Emily Siner In September 2009, I interviewed Matt Potts, CEO and brewmaster of DESTIHL Restaurant and Brew Works, as part of my very first article ever for buzz. DESTIHL had opened two years before in Normal, Ill., and it was about to start construction on a new Champaign location. “We hope to start construction within the next 60 days,” Potts told me a year and a half ago. He also told me: Good things are worth the wait. One would hope so because Champaign waited … and waited. Potts was probably tempting fate when he gave himself a timeline. It turned out the downtown Champaign fire across the street from DESTIHL’s future home had damaged the restaurant’s exterior. The sucky economy probably didn’t help, either. But Potts stuck with it, and finally, in April, he succeeded in opening the Champaign location of what he calls a “gastrobrewery.” The concept is simple but unique in the area: It pairs beer brewed in-house with a full menu — the perfect fit for a town filled with foodies and beer-lovers. “We’re surprised no one beat us to the punch,” Potts said. So first, the beer. Fourteen kinds are currently on tap in Champaign. Don’t expect to see a list

of domestic and imported beers, because every kind was brewed about 20 feet away in the big steel machinery at the front of the restaurant. DESTIHL makes about 50 different varieties at its two locations at any given time, which it rotates throughout the year. Second, the food. DESTIHL’s menu is the kind that lists about six ingredients for each item — you know, the kind that makes you certain it’s going to be a taste bud-intensive meal before you even order. Executive chef Manny Martinez said that 90 percent of the items are made in-house, even the butter — the butter — which, Potts said, is made from local milk and cream. DESTIHL has relationships with about 40 farms to bring in local ingredients like honey, pork, cheese and produce. “The average person coming in here won’t ever know,” Potts said. “We don’t throw it in your face. We mention it on the menu, and we use a lot of local farms, but I don’t think a lot of people really know what we do.” The cuisine is “basically comfort food adapted to the new American cuisine,” Martinez said. It vaguely incorporates Asian and Latin American spices and styles, like the spice-seared swordfish with grilled pineapple salsa ($18.95) or the beer-

Destihl in Champaign. Photo by Sean O’Connor

battered tuna with spicy Thai sauce and wontons ($12.95) — but then again, no food can stray too far from America if it’s battered in beer. One of DESTIHL’s bestsellers is its beer-battered asparagus ($8.25), Martinez said, which uses about four and a half tons of asparagus a year in Normal. Martinez said he’s excited to be “educating the palates” of Champaign customers.

With less than a month of existence to its name, the new location hasn’t gained the popularity of its sister branch, but the opening was certainly a long-awaited triumph. And what’s in for DESTIHL in the future? Maybe an extended beer list, maybe another location. Potts didn’t seem too rushed. Right now, he’s probably just excited to have finally made it here. buzz

arts

entertainment

Topless Female Dancers 18 to enter • Mon-Thur 8pm-1am • Fri-Sat 8pm-2am • $5 Cover (Always Hiring, We’ll Train)

Silver Bullet Bar

www.silverbulletbar.net 7616

Week of Fri., May 13 - Thurs., May 19, 2011 Super (NR) From a 35mm print. All shows are matinee prices. Fri:10:00PM Sat: (3:00), 10:00 Sun: (3:00PM) Thu: 10:00PM

Jane Eyre (PG-13) Fri-Sun: (5:00), 7:30 Mon-Thurs: 7:30 The Girl of the Golden West: Live from Netherlands Opera (NR) Digital Presentation, encore (not live) Sat & Sun: 12:00PM

Take the CUMTD Bus www.theCUart.com

SAVOY 16 217-355-3456

S. Neil St. (Rt. 45) at Curtis Rd.

$5.75

www.GQTI.com

BARGAIN TWILIGHT D A I LY 4 : 0 0 - 6 : 0 0 P M * excludes Digital 3D & Fathom events

SHOWTIMES 5/13 - 5/19

No passes S Stadium seating

METROPOLITAN OPERA DIE WALKURE LIVE SAT. 5/14 11:00 AM METROPOLITAN OPERA IL TROVATORE ENCORE WED. 5/18 6:30 PM S BRIDESMAIDS (R) 11:10, 1:50, 4:30, 7:10, 9:50 S 3D PRIEST (PG-13) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 11:05, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50 FRI/SAT LS 12:00 S PRIEST (PG-13) 12:30, 2:40, 4:50, 7:00, 9:10 FRI/SAT LS 11:20 3D THOR (PG-13) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 11:40, 1:15, 2:15, 3:50, 4:50, 6:25, 7:25, 9:00, 10:00 FRI/SAT LS 11:35 S THOR (PG-13) 11:10, 1:45, 4:20, 6:55, 9:30 FRI/SAT LS 12:05 S JUMPING THE BROOM (PG-13) 12:05, 2:25, 4:45, 7:05, 9:25 FRI/SAT LS 11:45 S SOMETHING BORROWED (PG-13) 11:25, 1:50, 4:10, 6:40, 9:05 FRI/SAT LS 11:30 FAST FIVE (PG-13) 11:00, 12:40, 1:45, 3:25, 4:30, 6:10, 7:15, 8:55, 10:00 FRI/SAT LS 11:40 PROM (PG) 1:55, 8:50 FRI/SAT LS 11:10 WATER FOR ELEPHANTS (PG-13) 11:05, 1:40, 4:25, 7:05, 9:45 MADEA’S BIG HAPPY FAMILY (PG-13) 11:35, 2:05, 4:25, 6:55, 9:20 FRI/SAT LS 11:50 AFRICAN CATS (G) 11:45, 4:15, 6:30 RIO (G) 11:20, 1:35, 4:00, 6:20, 8:40 FRI/SAT LS 11:00 THE CONSPIRATOR (PG-13) FRI-TUE, TH 7:10, 9:55 SOUL SURFER (PG) FRI, SUN-TUE, TH 12:20, 2:35, 4:55 WED 12:20, 2:35 SOURCE CODE (PG-13) 12:35, 2:55, 5:10, 7:30, 9:40 FRI/SAT LS 11:55

buzz

Falling Up director Ryan Marzolph talks about filmmaking by Nick Martin

1401 E. Washington Urbana 217.344.0937

126 W. Church St. Champaign

How to be an independent filmmaker

I’ve read that anyone can make a movie, but I don’t believe it. Sure, digital filming equipment is cheaper than ever before, and the Internet is a resource for learning, networking and distribution; however, I still can’t believe anyone can make a movie. You need an idea of what you’re doing, first ... right? An acquaintance from my film class asked me to see his movie (shout out to CINE 495!). I said yes because doing stuff like this is my job, and the acquaintance, Ryan Marzolph, knows a lot about video games, which I thought was cool. I went into the Art Theater expecting a student film. When I left, I was shocked to see that I’d just watched a movie! A real movie! I didn’t know you could make those without money! So I sat down with Ryan so he could tell me how he did it. I now believe almost anyone can make a movie; all they need to do is read this article first.

Constraints and opportunities “What do I have access to that will make the movie look more professional?” Marzolph said. “I was at a film festival and the festival winner gave out this advice: ‘If you want your movie to not look like it’s struggling for air, write for what you have.’” Marzolph’s first movie was a five-minute, post-apocalyptic BUZZ dark comedy. Why? Well, he just learned how to use After Effects, so THURSDAY he wanted to manipulate the backgrounds of MAY 12 corp note...keep this same size always the film. A friend inherited a lot of old suits, so that was incorporated into the movie, too. He X 5.417 asked for1help: “I got all my friends who used 1/8th in page to make movies high school on board. I said, ‘Remember when we used to fool around with a camera when we were teenagers? Let’s do that again but go all out.’” Marzolph explained that he wrote for the actors he knew he could depend on and used locations that were free and accessible. When he found out he had the opportunity to film in a bar, he wrote a totally new scene just for the bar. In sum: Use what you have available to you!

Do research; know your shit “Before I made this movie, I did a ton of research. By research, I mean I watched a ton of sci-fi movies,” Marzolph said. Some films that influenced Marzolph: Strange Days by James Cameron, Moon by Duncan Jones, Blade Runner by Ridley Scott. (Editor’s note: Watch all of these movies.) “To me, the worst thing I could do would be emulate, copy or reproduce ideas from other movies without doing it intentionally.” However, Falling Up’s biggest influence was Primer. “I don’t fully understand it, but I understand it enough to draw my own conclusions. That’s what’s cool about it,” Marzolph said. Falling Up plays with a similar cerebral idea: Something “smart” is going on in this movie, but it might take a little while to put your finger on it.

Make it re-watchable “I intended to make a movie people want to look at again, but not one they have to look at again. Hopefully, people can watch it and come to a satisfying conclusion — maybe not the one I intended, but that’s fine, too.” Perhaps the easiest way to do this is to make a movie that’s cerebral. “The overarching idea was that a thought could change reality,” he said. “By literally having this ‘reality changing idea,’ you could change the definition of something. Changing the definition changes the perception; changing the perception changes what reality is because reality is perception.” Sci-fi is a great genre for that. It challeges notions of what we think is possible, be it nebulous ideas of perception and identity or a dude making a film with no money. Ryan Marzolph (director) and John Hoffman (actor) at the premiere of Falling Up. “Just because something Used with permission from Ryan Marzolph can’t be changed or categorized doesn’t mean it can’t happen — it just thing you need available for free on their website. means it hasn’t happened yet. When it happens, They want people to know how to use their product the only thing that changes is how we define because then they’ll buy it,” Marzolph said. Promoting a movie can be trickier. Marzolph told what is possible. Our static definitions and our perception changes; the world itself does not,” me about withoutabox.com. Essentially, this site Marzolph said. allows you to submit films to festivals all over the country; this is a great way to get people talking Access/limitations about your movie. Then, of course, there’s good old fashioned pro“This movie was made with time, not money,” moting. You might think all you need to do is make Marzolph said. He used a Panasonic 700 from a Facebook event, then sit back and wait until the the art department. “We didn’t want to spend any money pours in. Actually, that’s a bad idea. Marmoney on anything,” he said. zolph instead told me the most effective way he’s The score is an original composition by a friend, experienced in getting people to see his movie is and the sets, costumes, cameras — everything was by asking them to see it in person. Marzolph said borrowed or free. “I think we did pay for the flowers you have to tell people, “Hey! This is the ‘when’ and in one scene,” Marzolph said. Besides that, this film ‘where,’ then hand them a flyer or something they cost approximately $0 USD. The easiest way to be can take.” You need people to know you, what you’re cost efficient is to find people who want to help just doing, and where it’s playing. After all, it’s your hard because they like making movies! work — you need to show it off.

Know your resources; get people to watch it Everything else you need to know about movie making is availible online, for free. Seriously: go check Google. “No one sits you down and says, ‘This is how to use this program.’ The best way to do it is to teach yourself and find where the resources are. The companies that make the software have every-

OK, now you know how to make a movie. Go out and do it! Marzolph will be hanging around the CU area this summer helping other people make movies. The next time Falling Up screens in the area, buzz will certainly let you know about it!

Check out one of Ryan’s short films on the217.com

Can you believe it? Can you freaking believe it?

MAY 12 - 18, 2011

LETTERS TO MOVIES

the217.com

buzz asks hard-hitting questions in a serious journalist-esque fashion

by buzz Movies & TV staff The buzz Movies & TV staff was hanging out, doing our thing — making out, watching The Simpsons, drinking vodka without a chaser because we just don’t give a fuck! — when we had an idea. Remember The Simpsons episode “My Mother the Carjacker”? It’s the post-Golden Age episode where Homer’s long-lost mother comes back again with another guest star from Glenn Close. Homer learns his middle initial, J, is short for Jay. The government is reading Homer’s mail. The government official says: “Most people write letters to movie stars. This Simpson guy writes to movies. ‘Dear Die Hard. You rock. Especially when that guy was on the roof. P.S. Do you know Mad Max?’”

We thought, that sounds fun! Let’s try it. So we tried it. We’ve yet to hear a response from any of these movies. If you are one of these movies, please email me at chunkylover53@aol.com.

Dear Shindler’s List,

Nothing has ever made me feel so sad and so sleepy. P.S. What’s up with the red?

Dear The Hangover,

Remember when the guy with the beard did something quirky? Hilarious! P.S. LOL

Dear The Hangover II,

I hope the guy with the beard does something quirky again!

Dear Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,

Print journalism isn’t dying; it’s just not doing enough drugs to sustain itself. RIP HST.

Dear Leaving Las Vegas,

Used with permission fromTwentieth Century Fox Film Corporation

I don’t know what you did with the talented version Nicolas Cage, but if you could return him soon, we’d all appreciate it.

Dear Avatar,

Dear The Social Network,

Dear Titanic,

Dear No Country for Old Men,

If Rose lost a few pounds, would Jack have fit on the driftwood?

Please inform Mr. Bardem that there’s something deeply disturbing on his head.

Dear Caddy Shack,

Dear every single Coen Brothers movie,

Remember when you said it was poop, but it was only a candy bar? Nice.

It’s too bad your get-rich-quick scheme didn’t work out.

Dear Caddy Shack II,

Dear every single Martin Scorsese movie,

Do you know Pocahontas? You guys have a lot in common.

Why?

Dear Clueless,

You’re a virgin who can’t drive.

Dear Something’s Gotta Give,

I know that old people having sex should creep me out, but it doesn’t.

Dear There Will Be Blood,

That sucked! There wasn’t even any blood in it! P.S. We get it! He’s Bush! Way to really beat me over the head with it!

So 1,005,953 people “like” you, but apparently they liked The King’s Speech more.

I can’t believe that guy got too confident for his own good. P.S. Nice tracking shot.

Dear every single Quentin Tarantino movie,

Cool use of swear words, but I feel like I’ve already seen that part in someone else’s movie. P.S. You left your camera in the trunk.

Dear Tyler Perry’s The Family That Preys, Tyler Perry’s Meet The Browns, Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail, Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married?, Tyler Perry’s Daddy’s Little Girls, etc. Stop it. P.S. I can do bad all by myself.

START WITH A REEL, END WITH A REAL FILM FESTIVAL Cinema to the MACS film festival shows off student talent by Stephanie Ruiz I wasn’t really sure what to expect sitting in 100 Gregory Hall on the night of May 2. Only in its second year, the annual “Cinema to the MACS” student film competition festival (sponsored by the College of Media and the Department of Media and Cinema Studies) was still a very small and relatively unknown affair. Then again, that didn’t seem to detract from the atmosphere surrounding the room full of talented individuals with a genuine love of film. This year’s festival was hosted by Dr. Stephen Shafer and his Media Studies 464 class, a course that, Shafer mentioned during his detailed introduction, examined the processes and significance behind film festivals. Shafer also mentioned that MS 464 was entirely responsible for designing and organizing the evening’s event (and were even given the opportunity to intern at the CU’s 13th annual Ebertfest). They managed to completely arrange the Cinema to the MACS competition themselves, designing posters, creating a website, organizing submission rules and entry forms and even deciding on “Mirrors” as this year’s theme. “In the end, it was a fun experience that I’m glad to have participated in,” said Kristin Grandberry,

a member of the class and senior in English. “It taught me a lot about the thought and talent that goes into constructing such a successful event.” Perhaps the most important responsibility the class shared, however, was the judging of the submissions they received. As explained by Shafer, each student viewed every submitted entry and evaluated them to determine an average for each. The three student filmmakers with the highest averages were then deemed the winners. “We had no ‘hanging chads’ or disputes about the voting process or about the decisions,” Shafer said. The festival then proceeded with brief introductions of the three winning student filmmakers and the screenings of their short films. Each winner was also awarded a certificate individually by Shafer. The first film to be screened was the third-place winner, Life’s Journey, a rather poignant and moving piece made by Nathaniel Wingert, a sophomore in cinema studies and an aspiring film editor. “I spent a long time trying to find out what I wanted to do with my life, [and] I tried to actually take that feeling and show it on screen,” he said. “I also tried to make the message relatable to everyone who watches. Although [it] contains the things

that lead to the discovery of my life’s goals, the idea of trying to decide what you want to get out of life is a topic that most people can relate to.” Second-place winner and junior in history Ryan Falck couldn’t make it out to the festival, but luckily I still got the chance to chat with him about One Night Only, his film that emphasized the difficulties of combating boredom. Shot and edited in black and white in under an hour, Falck said that the only thing that limited his short was the fact that he filmed it entirely on his own, sans cameraman or tripod. But he did say he enjoyed the challenge. “I just wanted to make a film and see what became of it, so I was surprised [when I got second place] and thought it was really cool,” he said. Falck also said that Tommy Wiseau’s The Room heavily influenced and inspired his film, and he even included a dedication to the director in his end credits (something I’m sure the buzz staff completely approves of). Senior in advertising Yuri Kleban’s film Steve, a hilarious depiction of an international student adjusting to American college dorm life, was the festival’s first-place winner. Kleban said that he and writer/director Ariel Ranieri wanted to make

something that would show it’s OK to be different. They shot and produced the film during their freshman year for fun, so he was shocked to find out it had actually won this year’s competition. “I thought that this film would entertain the viewers, but that’s about it,” Kleban said. “I always wanted to be a director and editor ... that was my dream. This win really reminded me that I must still do films.” Getting the chance to talk to these budding filmmakers, to see their work and to get to learn more about their styles and their inspirations was, for me, beyond awesome. I could definitely tell how much everyone cared to make this festival happen. Grandberry sums up my thoughts on the matter quite nicely. “[The festival] is a great way to showcase the creativity of students on campus, both filmmakers and [organizing] committee members, and to encourage students to think creatively,” she said. “My hope is that 10 years from now this will be a well-known event that students look forward to each year.” buzz

arts

entertainment

Red Green

The Red Green Show

Canadian Handyman comes to Champaign

By Joe Lewis

inding good advice on how to do something can be difficult while sifting through an endless amount of books, manuals and web sites. Canadian handyman Red Green made it easy for you with his book How To Do Everything. With advice on building your own airplane, measuring your hat size with a two-by-four and opening a pickle jar (it involves a cold chisel and vice grips), the book is a one-stop manual for all your do-it-yourself needs. Dressed in signature red and green suspenders, a plaid shirt and fishing hat, Red Green has taken his handyman knowledge on the road with the Wit and Wisdom Tour, soon to be stopping at Virginia Theater in Champaign on May 15. The show consists of a one-man performance by Red Green, dispersing his wisdom through anecdotes, handyman tips, relationship advice and stories — and Red’s famous one-liners, such as, “Anybody who thinks machines are better than people has never owned a pull-start lawn mower.” When it comes to advice, Red Green really tries to cover “everything,” from how to reduce your carbon footprint (to do this, move into the fruit tree next to your local liquor store) to how to survive the seven stages of marriage (which borrows the structure of the seven stages of grief). Red Green is the persona of Canadian comedian and writer Steve Smith. Smith developed the character while doing a sketch comedy show

called Smith & Smith with his wife, Marog. Smith said he was making fun of the host of a Canadian fishing show called The Red Fisher Show, which was quite boring. The Red Green character — with the gravelly voice, thick white beard, affinity for duct tape and perfect delivery of satirical humor — developed over the years and soon became the idea for The Red Green Show. Once they decided to make a show based on Red Green, Smith said they looked “at all the aspects of men’s idiosyncrasies.” “Red Green was the self-sufficient, resilient kind of guy who wouldn’t bother figuring out how to do something; he’d just take a look at it, take his best guess and go from there,” Smith said. Red Green had a mentality that resembles a lot of men Smith said he knows, the mentality of “to call a repairman is an incredible sign of failure.” The Red Green Show ran for 15 years with 300 episodes — one of the longest running Canadian series to air in the U.S. After the run from 1991 to 2005, Smith decided it was time to stop the show, but he did not want to stop the Red Green character. With the success of his series, Smith continued to find outlets for creativity as well as the beloved Red Green, through a syndicated newspaper column, specials and five books. Following the success of How To Do Everything, Smith decided to tour around the U.S. and Canada

Used with permission from Red Green

promoting the book and donating all proceeds to Public Television — a sum that Smith said is currently around $1.5 million. With no experience with stand-up comedy or theater, Smith welcomed the challenge as something new and fun to do. “It’s unusual for a man my age to do something new that’s not a medical procedure,” he said.

Red Green is leader of the Possum Lodge, Chapter 13, a men’s club in a town called Possum Lake in northern Ontario, near the town Port Asbestos. The lodge’s motto is “Quondo Omni Flunkus Mortati” which translates to: “When all else fails, play dead.” When Red first became a member of the lodge, he began participating more and more. Soon, he became “the only guy that nobody hated and was elected Lodge Leader,” according to The Red Green Show’s website. When not taking care of issues at the lodge, Red hosts a television show called The Red Green Show, a handyman show that had demonstrations on how to fix just about anything (duct tape was usually involved) and advice on outdoor activities, marriage and any other subject that men discuss. The projects that Red and other lodge members demonstrated on the show usually ended up looking terrible, or Red, in his very optimistic manner, would find a benefit for the newly “fixed” item. “He’s just sort of lazy, impatient, and prone to substitute sub-standard items (such as using duct tape instead of nails, screws, bolts, glass, glue, rivets, solder or welding),” according to the show’s website. Aided by the off-beat personalities of fellow lodge members and his dim-witted yet nerdy nephew Harold, Red’s show lasted for 15 seasons with 300 episodes. Red’s advice and witticisms can be found in copies of his books and in his live, one-man show, the Wit and Wisdom Tour, so everyone can be a handyman.

Local Magicians attempt to set the stage Café Extraordinaire tries to offer a venue for magic by Clara Bush V ision, check. Idea, check. Place, almost check. Money ... no check. Yet. Café Extraordinaire is the latest project from Psychic Joker, a Champaign-based company that helps book jobs for local magicians. Two years ago, Psychic Joker members realized that not many places in the area cater to magicians. Bars are too loud because people are constantly talking, and the Virginia Theater is too big for up-and-coming magicians to fill. “We’re trying to get a smaller house with a stage,” said Lisa Cerezo, one of the co-founders of Psychic Joker. Cerezo and her husband Jason, another cofounder, started conceptualizing the coffeehouse Café Extraordinaire a year and a half ago. Jace Hoppes, the third founder of Psychic Joker, told the Cerezos that many magicians come to the Champaign area because of Andy Dallas, a hypnotist, escape artist and magician, who popularized the craft in the area. “When you have a presence like that in this town, people will seek him out,” Cerezo said. 8

buzz

Many learn and study with Dallas but have no place to perform. Psychic Joker members hope Café Extraordinaire will give magicians the chance to break into the field by giving them a well-equipped space and a nightly audience to perform for. Magicians do not need a lot of equipment beyond “decent sound and lighting,” Cerezo said, but having a dressed stage with curtains is important. The Prestige, a 2006 movie about a rivalry of two magicians in the Victorian era, inspired the founders of Psychic Joker. “The community performance space will have a steam punk aesthetic, which fuses Victorian aesthetic with technology,” said Cerezo. “[It’s like a] turn into the 1900s, but what would it be like if they had all this technology?” The goal of the café is to revive interest and enthusiasm of stage magic in the community. “We wanted an accessible place for local talent to be able to come and play,” the café’s indiegogo.com site said. Indiegogo.com is a crowd-funding site that helps provide funding for

the project. “We also wanted to create a comfortable latenight gathering place with plenty of entertainment choices all night long.” Café Extraordinaire has a page on indiegogo.com that allows people to donate money to the project by a certain Owners of Café Extraordinaire, in order left to right: Jason Cerezo, Lisa Cerezo, and Jace Hoppes. Photo deadline. The site credit to Sarah Chen also allows Psychic Joker to keep all of the money received, whether need loans, but they would be closer to opening or not it reaches its goal of $50,000. the café, hopefully by this August. “It’s all still in that development,” Cerezo said. The company also found out recently that it is in the running for a Pepsi Refresh grant for $50,000. “Exposure’s a big thing.” “At this point, it’s just voting,” Cerezo said. To donate money to the Café Extraordinaire proj“[But] we’re pretty excited about it.” ect, visit indiegogo.com/Cafe-Extraordinaire. Or Even if Psychic Joker members get the grant and vote for the project to receive the Pepsi Refresh reach their goal on indiegogo.com, they would still Grant at refresheverything.com/magiccafe.

My purse is stuck on my foot!

May 12 - 18, 2011

the217.com

D.I.Y. Summer concert essentials Rock out in the right outfit

by Ellie Brzezenski

ith the Lollapalooza lineup out as of a few weeks ago, I’ve started planning my summer concert and festival schedule. Every summer, I look forward to heading out with my friends, bright-eyed and excited, to spend the day (and possibly night) listening to our favorite bands and possibly getting into some shenanigans. Concerts are always the highlight of my summer — meeting the crazy, interesting people you’d find nowhere else, getting disproportionately tan from the shoulders up, and most importantly, taking a break from my monotonous minimum wage job (what’s an internship?) to have some fun. With my slightly seasoned concert-going experience, I decided to compile a list of my most needed items for this summer season. Slap on some SPF and sunglasses, and get ready to go!

1. FANNY PACK: Before you groan and call me an indie kid, hear me out. Backpacks always leave the weirdest tan lines on my back, and one-shoulder bags always leave one of my shoulders aching from my flask and other valuable items inevitably weighing down my bag. Fanny packs are a quick solution to all of these problems; plus, they’re a lot harder to steal stuff out of. 2. SOMETHING COTTON: Whether it’s a floral dress or a cute crop top, a breezy fabric is the way to go. Embrace the summer weather and the festival spirit with something colorful and comfy — you’re not going to enjoy the show you shelled out serious money to see if you’re too busy worrying about how you look or how much you’re sweating.

3. YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF JEAN SHORTS: While they might be hard to part with if they get completely destroyed, wear the jeans that you know are broken in and will not let you down. Plus, jeans hold up to a lot of wear and tear, so you probably won’t have to worry about a wardrobe malfunction. 4. SANDALS: While some people feel that concerts are a time to make fashion statements, I draw the line at footwear. Let’s be honest: You will hate yourself for wearing knee-high boots or leather footwear when it’s 95 degrees out, no matter how fashionable you look. I stick with the shoes I know will get me through the day: my Birkenstocks. They’re good for when you plan on standing for long periods of time, and they’re durable. Second choice: Havaianas, for when it rains.

Used with permission from Annette Piton

5. CREATIVE HEAD WEAR: Spice up your outfit with a cool headband or linen scarf. For those daring souls, maybe try an Indian headdress or a rice picker hat. Not only will it make it easy for your friends to find you when you inevitably get separated, but it’s a simple way to be stylish and creative. Plus, when else in your life (other than Halloween) is it socially acceptable to wear an Indian headdress?

showtime beauty pageants presents:

Cinderella’s Ball Pageant

Let Your

Inner Beauty Shine on

June 3rd at

Double Tree Hotel in Bloomington, IL showtimepageants.com | (309) 452-5832 | showtime974@aol.com buzz

MUSIC

Summer Camp Music Festival

Go make macaroni pictures somewhere else.

by Krithika Rajaraman As the school year dwindles down, the student population does too. And summer certainly does not equal total liberation, as many students will be taking classes or working. Boo. The CU dubstep crew Chalice Dubs, however, will seek to liven this banality with one of Illinois’ largest parties, Summer Camp Music Festival. The annual festival takes place this year on Memorial Day weekend at Three Sisters Park in Chillicothe, Ill. Spanning across three days, from May 27 to 29, with an extra day for the preparty, the grounds will offer ample parking and camping for patrons to enjoy as they mark the beginning of the summer music festival season. The festival, produced by Jay Goldberg Events and Entertainment, originated in June 2001. Director of marketing for Jay Goldberg Events Mike Armintrout has been with the company since the year the festival began. As a current talent buyer for Summer Camp, Armintrout booked about 30 percent of the artists that are set to perform this year, including Chalice Dubs. After working with DJ SOLO, Positive Vibr8ions, White Rabbit, DJ Ism, Milk N’ Cookies, DJ Flowa Child and Miss Thang regularly at Dubstep Masquerade, he figured it would be best to invite Chalice Dubs to come and play at the festival this year. “We know those guys on a personal level because they are friends of ours through the work they do

with The [Canopy] Club and the masquerades they put on,” Armintrout said. “But they are also obviously artists, DJs and performers that we support and respect.”. By bringing the masquerade to the festival, Armintrout predicts that it will attract those same audience members to come and see what Summer Camp is all about. “People buy the tickets to see the headliners,” Armintrout explained. “But what we’re able to use the festival for is to give some artists that we like, respect and appreciate … an opportunity to play at the festival and give them a lot of exposure.” Armintrout said there is no such thing as bad exposure in the world of performing. Considering the festival has six stages with more than 100 artists performing, Armintrout stresses the diversity of the festival and prides the company on its ability to attract such a range of audiences. Although many people may not like dubstep or electronic music, these genres are only a portion of what is offered at Summer Camp.

Playin’ in barns

Used with permission from Rojer and The Creative Commons

“If you’re not into [dubstep], I can imagine you may be into some funky jazz music, or the straight-ahead jam bands, or maybe the progressive rock stuff, or even bluegrass or roots music,” Armintrout said. “At our festival, we offer all of those.” Friday, Saturday and Sunday late-night tickets run for an additional $25 a piece but are very scarce in quantity. These tickets give you access into the Red Barn and the opportunity to see Moe, Lotus, STS9, Big Gigantic and Eoto perform on their respective nights. Sold primarily through the VIP packages or on pre-sale, the tickets are likely to be sold at the festival but have a tendency to sell out quickly.

With general ticket sales at the gate of about $200, the prices for the festival prove very affordable in comparison to other three-day festivals. Because the majority of people purchase their tickets ahead of time to get a discount, Armintrout estimates nearly 90 percent of the patrons getting into the concert for under $150 dollars. According to Armintrout, the goals of the festival are to always get bigger and better but to let that growth be organic and natural. Never wanting a dramatic change, Armintrout and the rest of the crew don’t want the festival attendance numbers to jump from 10,000 festivalgoers one year to 30,000 the next. They would like to keep the process a very gradual one, not only for the infrastructure’s sake but for the sake of their fans as well. “The festival has been 11 years in the making, and it is a family affair,” Armintrout says. “When I say a family affair, I mean it is a family of us that work hard and tirelessly at it for 12 months a year because we feel passionate about the music and about providing people with the best possible experience ... We just hope people can appreciate all of us who put our heart and soul into it.” The only passes available online are Level III passes selling for $180 plus fees. Tickets for individual concerts are also available on the website. For information and for a detailed line-up, visit summercampfestival.com

Guards and Sondre Lerche reflect on Daytrotter’s Barnstormer

by Carrie McMenamin and Adam Barnett During a fantastic concert at the Kalyx Center in Monticello, Ill., buzz was able to sneak in a few interviews with Richie Follin of Guards and Sondre Lerche about their Barnstormer experiences and other shenanigans. Another interview featuring Keegan DeWitt is online at the217.com!

Guards » buzz: What is your relationship with Daytrotter? Richie Follin: Well, I had played with my previous band, The Willows. We did a session. And then I did another session playing in my little sister’s band, Cults. And then I did another session with Guards. So we’ve done a bunch of sessions with Daytrotter. And they asked us to do the Barnstormer, and our friends Delta Spirit had done it before. We had only heard good things about it, so we wanted to go do it, mainly because we’ve never played at a barn before. » buzz: How is it playing in a barn? RF: It depends how cold it is inside the barn and if the people are feeling saucy. But it’s pretty amazing. » buzz: Were these people saucy enough? RF: They were sauced up, yeah. I was excited to play for these people. 10

buzz

» buzz: Is there anything that’s been going on over these Barnstormer days that particularly sticks out? RF: Well, the first day, the barn was the furthest away from anything. And there was a blizzard, and peoples’ vans got stuck so no one could get out of there, you know, deep in the mud. There were also no heaters in the barn, so it was literally below 20 degrees in there. That’s sticking out in my mind because I played, literally, with my jacket on, buttoned up all the way. Couldn’t feel my fingers, couldn’t feel my toes. » buzz: Which is funny because the last few days it’s been raining like crazy here, but now the weather is perfect. RF: We brought the sunshine.

Sondre Lerche » buzz: Do you have any stories from the road thus far? Sondre Lerche: My memory is very bad, and I can only remember back a couple of days. But ... do I have any stories? No, I just leave behind a trail of torn-down barns after every show. My goal is to just tear it apart, you know. All these beautiful barns, they meet their match.

» buzz: I think you accomplished that. Could you feel the floor bouncing tonight? SL: When I was watching Keegan performing earlier, I could see the floor — because people were jumping up and down like crazy — really bouncing. It was scary, and I was happy to notice when I was playing [that] I can’t see it. I saw people jumping, and I could sort of do the math in my head. But luckily, I didn’t actually see the floor because it looks really freaky. It’s like a trampoline, and it feels like it’s gonna give in any second. Luckily, it didn’t. » buzz: How did you get connected to the Barnstormer tour? SL: Well, I did my first Daytrotter session in 2007 and have been friends with Daytrotter ever since. I’ve done some shows with them and done sessions at their studio in Rock Island. I’ve heard great things about the Barnstormer tours, and it just made sense. I was asked if I wanted to come headline this tour, and it sounded like an amazing opportunity to be part of this travelling, crazy, barn mini-festival tour. » buzz: Do you prepare yourself any differently for a show in a barn than you would for a regular show? SL: It’s sort of like, “How do you prepare? How do you sort of adjust or not adjust?” I’ve played a lot of different places but never a barn before,

Used with permission from Keegan DeWitt

so it’s just a matter of being open and being spontaneous and trying to adapt to the room and read the audience. People come here, of course, for the bands and for the great music, but also for the experience. You have to sort of realize that the real headliner in a way is the barn and the experience people have sharing this evening of music in a barn. And that is pretty cool to be a part of.

CALENDAR

MAY 12 - 18, 2011

Complete listing available at

THE217.COM/CALENDAR

SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at the217.com/calendar • E-mail: send your notice to calendar@the217.com • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 12

volunteer RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Mo- University YMCA presment Productions ents: Dump & Run Bentley’s Pub, C, University YMCA, C, 9am 10pm

Big Bluestem String Band Memphis on Main, C, 6pm live music FREE Happy Hour Show! Jazz in the Courtyard Memphis on Main, C, Illini Union, U, 12pm 6pm kids and families Billy Galt and Jeff Kerr Urbana High School Jazz movies AnSun, C, 7pm Baby Time Cafe The Gavin Stolte Project Srugim Viewing Douglass Branch Library, C, Urbana High School, U, Emerald City Lounge, C, The Hillel Foundation, The 10:30am 7pm 8:30pm Margie K. and Louis N. Creative Movement for The Freak Brothers with The Hot Sluggs Cohen Center for Jewish Young People Special Guest Kevin Emerald City Lounge, C, 9pm Life, C, Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Elliott 7:30pm 3:30pm, $72 Urbana-Champaign Indedj pendent Media Center, U, community Milk and Cookies at Klub stage 7pm, $5 Kam’s Open Stage at Red Herring World’s Largest Dessert Samba Soul Band Kam’s, C, 8pm Red Herring Coffeehouse, Party for Tanger Outlet’s Iron Post, U, 7:30pm DJ BJ Dance Night U, 30th Anniversary The Sugar Prophets feat. Po’ Boys, U, 8pm 9pm Tanger Outlets, Tuscola, King’s Highway Here Come the Regulars 1:30pm Memphis on Main, C, art exhibit Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm 8pm Open Deck Night Parkland College Graphic mind/body/spirit 90’s Daughter at Mike-nRadio Maria, C, 10pm Design Student Juried Open Yoga Practice Molly’s DJ Luniks Exhibition 2011 Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 9pm, Firehaus, C, 10pm, $5 Parkland Art Gallery, 5:30am, $8 $5 Stitches at The Clark C, Hot Yoga dj Bar 10am Evolve Fitness Club, C, The Clark Bar, C, 10pm 12pm, $10 House Party at Red Star museum exhibit House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal classes and with Kirkwood West, Cal School of Art + Design Emmerich, and Space workshops Emmerich, and Space Bachelor of Fine Arts Police Police Exhibition Resumes Webinar Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm Red Star Liquors, U, Krannert Art Museum Rantoul Public Library, DJ Tommy Williams 10pm and Kinkead Pavilion, C, Rantoul, 3pm Chester Street, C, 9am 9pm, $3 karaoke food and drink DJ Mella D campus activities DJ Bange Krannert Uncorked Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, Nintendo Wii Krannert Center for the DJ Cal Emmerich 8:30pm Illini Union, U, Performing Arts, U, 5pm Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm RockStarz Karaoke: 1pm DJ Delayney Presented by Seize A Mo- Living LEAN Class FRIDAY 13 Highdive, C, 10pm, $5 ment Productions Illini Union, U, DJ Kosmo live music Senator’s Bar & Grill, Sa3pm Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm voy, Lukas Clide fashion dance music 9pm Illini Union, U, 12pm Liquid Courage Karaoke Yarn n Yak ‘Appy Hour Urbana Country Dancers Memphis on Main, C, Rantoul Public Library, Silvercreek, U, Contra Dance 9pm Rantoul, 5:30pm, Phillips Recreation Center, 7pm $2-$10 U, 8pm, $4-$5

karaoke RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm Karaoke at Po’ Boys Po’ Boys, U, 9pm DJ Bange Karaoke Phoenix, C, 9pm

art opening Those Who Teach, CAN: Opening Reception Indi Go Artist Co-op, C, 6pm

art exhibit Parkland College Graphic Design Student Juried Exhibition 2011 Parkland Art Gallery, C, 10am

Open Gym Volleyball Champaign County Brookens Administration Center, U, 5:30pm, $1

volunteer University YMCA presents: Dump & Run University YMCA, C, 9am

kids and families Tales for Twos Douglass Branch Library, C, 10:30am

community Love Shuffle: Speed Dating The Refinery, C, 6:30pm, $12

Road Song Last Chance Saloon, Tolono, 8pm Unknown Road Memphis on Main, C, 8pm The Feudin’ Hillbillys Fat City Bar & Grill, C, 9pm m.p.h. @ Bentley’s Pub Bentley’s Pub, C, 9pm, $3 LIVE KARAOKE BAND at The Pink House Pink House, Ogden, 9pm, $3 Rock/Metal Night Phoenix, C, 9pm

House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space mind/body/spirit Police Yoga Red Star Liquors, U, museum exhibit Krannert Art Museum and 10pm School of Art + Design Kinkead Pavilion, C, 12pm DJ Belly Bachelor of Fine Arts Vinyasa Krama Yoga with Cowboy Monkey, C, Exhibition Don Briskin 9pm Krannert Art Museum and Amara Yoga & Arts, U, DJ Belly Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am 4pm, $12 Red Star Liquors, U, Spring Prairie Skies 9pm miscellaneous William M. Staerkel PlanDJ Randall Ellison etarium, C, 7pm International CoffeeChester Street, C, IBEX: Search for the Edge house 9pm, $3 of the Solar System Etc. Coffee House, U, DJ Space Police William M. Staerkel Plan4pm Boltini Lounge, C, etarium, C, 10pm food and drink 8pm Goth Night Half Price Happy Hour The Clark Bar, C, recreation Emerald City Lounge, 10pm Adult Rat Hockey 5pm DJ Party at Emerald City Ice Arena, C, Emerald City Lounge, C, 3:15pm, SATURDAY 14 11pm $6-$9 live music dance music Stick and Puck Beginner Hockey Live Jazz with Panache Salsa Night with DJ Dr. J Ice Arena, C, 5pm, Jim Gould Restaurant, C, Radio Maria, C, $6-$9 7pm 10pm

karaoke RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm Rockstar Karaoke Boomerang’s Bar and Grill, U, 9pm

movies Rear Window Virginia Theater, C, 1pm, 7pm, $5

stage Saturday Night Comedy Show! Memphis on Main, C, 7pm, $5

art exhibit Parkland College Graphic Design Student Juried Exhibition 2011 Parkland Art Gallery, C, 10am

museum exhibit School of Art + Design Bachelor of Fine Arts Exhibition Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am IBEX: Search for the Edge of the Solar System William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 8pm Amazing Stargazing William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 7pm, $3-$5

recreation Freestyle Ice Arena, C, 12pm

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BEST WOMEN’S CLOTHING STO RE

CIRCLES BOUTIQUE buzz

dance music Public Skate Ice Arena, C, 1:30pm, $4-$5 Emerald City Swing (West Coast) game-playing Emerald City Lounge, C, Second Saturday Board 7:30pm Games Urbana Free Library, U, 2pm open mic Open Mic Nite kids and families Phoenix, C, 7pm Kids Yoga stage Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 10:30am, $72 A Midsummer Night’s Kids Arts and Crafts Dream Playshop The Rantoul Theater Group, Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Rantoul, 2pm, $7-$10 11:15am, $96 Drag Show Family Yoga Chester Street, C, 10pm, $4 Amara Yoga & Arts, U, art exhibit 1:15pm, $6-$12 Parkland College Graphic mind/body/spirit Design Student Juried Yoga Fundamentals Exhibition 2011 Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Parkland Art Gallery, C, 9:00am, $12 10am Yoga Institute of CU museum exhibit Introduction Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga InstiSchool of Art + Design tute of C-U, U, 11:30am, Bachelor of Fine Arts 5:30pm, $14 Exhibition Saturday Power Flow with Krannert Art Museum and Corrie Proksa Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Exhibitions Closing 4pm, $12 Krannert Art Museum and Prenatal Yoga Practice Kinkead Pavilion, C, 2pm Workshop with Tatjana recreation Eres Session 2 Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Freestyle 6:30pm, $50 Ice Arena, C, 4:15pm Public Skate miscellaneous Ice Arena, C, Free restring Day 1:30pm, $4-$5 Samuel Music, C, 2pm food and drink Sensational Saturday Tasting Sun Singer Wine & Spirits, C, 12pm Half Price Happy Hour Emerald City Lounge, C, 5pm

Sunday 15 live music Live Jazz with Panache Jim Gould Restaurant, C, 7pm J.E.T. Boomerang’s Bar and Grill, U, 7pm Lara Driscoll Trio- Featuring Matt Hughes and Brent Jordan Iron Post, U, 7pm, $3

dj House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm 12

buzz

campus activities

M and M: Midrash and Meal The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 6pm

game-playing Big Dave’s Trivia Night Cowboy Monkey, C, 7pm Trivia Night The Blind Pig Brewery, C, 7pm

literary Red Green Book Signing Jane Addams Book Shop, C, 2:30pm

fundraisers Red Green’s Wit and Wisdom Tour Virginia Theater, C, 7pm, $50

mind/body/spirit Slow Flow Yoga Sundays with Luna Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 2pm, $12

Hatha Flow Yoga with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12 Prenatal Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30pm, $12

miscellaneous The Zionist Lunch and Learn Cafe Sababa, C, 11:30am

classes and workshops Salsa Dance Lessons: Beginners Capoeira Academy, C, 6pm, $5 Salsa Dance Lessons: Intermediate/Advanced Capoeira Academy, C, 7:30pm,$5

food and drink Champagne Brunch with a Diva! Emerald City Lounge, C, 10am, $12 Sandy’s Bagel Brunch and Games The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 11am

Monday 16 live music One Dollar Wild Mondays Canopy Club, U, 10am Jesse Johnson Illini Union, U, 12pm

campus activities Nintendo Wii Illini Union, U, 1pm Living LEAN Class Illini Union, U, 3pm Nutrition Walk In La Casa Cultural Latina, U, 5pm

game-playing Bingo Night Memphis on Main, C, 10pm

volunteer University YMCA presents: Dump & Run University YMCA, C, 9am

kids and families Growing Up Wild: Discovery Garden Adventures Lake of the Woods Forest Preserve, Mahomet, 10am, $5

mind/body/spirit Yoga Institute of CU Introduction Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 5:30pm, $14 Hatha Flow Yoga with Grace Giorgio Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12 Yoga St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church and Campus Center, C, 7pm Tarot Reader Boltini Lounge, C, 7pm Restorative Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 7pm, $12 Prana Flow Yoga Living Yoga Center, U, 7:15pm,$15

House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm DJ Randall Ellison Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 classes and Eletro/Industrial Night Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 workshops ‘80s Night with DJ Mingram Poetry Workshop Highdive, C, 10pm Red Herring Coffeehouse, U, karaoke 7:30pm RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Mo- Tuesday 17 ment Productions live music Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 10pm Alec Stern stage Illini Union, U, Monday Night Comedy 12pm Illini Union, U, 7pm Andy Moreillon Fat City Bar & Grill, C, art exhibit 7pm Parkland College Graphic Craig Gaskin and Design Student Juried Friends Exhibition 2011 Senator’s Bar & Grill, Parkland Art Gallery, C, Savoy, 10am 7:30pm

Dueling Guitars Jupiter’s II, C, 8pm The Piano Man Canopy Club, U, 9pm

dj House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm

dance music 8th Grade Dance Joe’s Brewery, C, 11pm

karaoke RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Moment Productions The Corner Tavern, Monticello, 8pm Dragon Karaoke The Clark Bar, C, 9pm Rockstarz Karaoke Chester Street, C, 10pm

open mic Open Mic Tuesdays Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

movies Israeli Movie Club The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7:30pm

campus activities Nintendo Wii Illini Union, U, 1pm Living LEAN Class Illini Union, U, 3pm Revive, Restore, Relax: Weston Wellness Weston Residence Hall, C, 3pm Knitting Club and Glee The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7pm

Creative Movement for Young People Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 10am,$72 Fairytale Ballet Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12:15pm, $72 Walk-in Storytime and Creative Play Class Act, C, 2pm, $2

lgbt Rainbow Coffeehouse Etc. Coffee House, U, 6pm

community Locals’ Night Po’ Boys, U, 4pm

mind/body/spirit Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Hot Yoga Evolve Fitness Club, C, 12pm, $10 Hatha Flow Yoga with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12pm, $12 Awakening Yoga and Playtime for Kids with Kate Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 9am, $12 Yoga Institute of CU Experienced Beginner Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 5:30pm, $14 Introduction to Meditation Ananda Liina Yoga & Meditation Center, U, 7:30pm,

classes and workshops

Trivia Tuesdays Memphis on Main, C, 7pm

Adult Pottery Class Boneyard Pottery, C, 9am, 6:30pm, $25 Real Computing Help Douglass Branch Library, C, 6pm

kids and families

Wednesday 18

game-playing

Tuesday Twos Champaign Public Library, C, 9:45am, 10:15am, 10:45am

live music Kirby Kaiser Illini Union, U, 12pm

Donnie Heitler: Solo Piano Great Impasta, U, 6pm Live Irish Music Bentley’s Pub, C, 7pm

dj House Party at Red Star with Kirkwood West, Cal Emmerich, and Space Police Red Star Liquors, U, 10pm DJ Tommy Williams Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 Country Night Highdive, C, 8pm Old School Night Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm Wompdown Wednesdays: Chalice Mug Night! Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $1 DJ Randall Ellison Boltini Lounge, C, 9pm I Love The ‘90s with DJ Mingram Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm

dance music Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, C, 8pm Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

open mic Writ ‘n Rhymed Poetry Open Mic Women’s Resources Center, C, 8:30pm Open Mic Comedy Night Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Open Mic Nite Phoenix, C, 9pm

recreation Public Skate Ice Arena, C, 7:30pm, $4-$5

game-playing Pokemon Fan Club Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 5:30pm CU64 Chess Club McKinley Presbyterian Church and Foundation, C, 7pm Euchre Po’ Boys, U, 7pm

kids and families Storyshop at the Branch Douglass Branch Library, C, 10:30am Wrestling Fan Club Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 4pm

seniors Senior Free Wii Days Phillips Recreation Center, U, 9am

mind/body/spirit

Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 karaoke Yoga Fundamentals RockStarz Karaoke: Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Presented by Seize A Mo- 4pm, $12 ment Productions Astanga Yoga Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaLiving Yoga Center, U, voy, 9am, 9pm $15 RockStarz Karaoke: Yoga and Meditation Presented by Seize A Mo- Club Class ment Productions Asian American Cultural Route 45 Wayside, PesoCenter, U, 5pm tum, Hatha Flow 8pm Amara Yoga & Arts, U, SuperStar Karaoke 5:45pm, $12 AnSun, C, miscellaneous 9pm RockStarz Karaoke: Cafe Ivrit Presented by Seize A Mo- Espresso Royale, U, ment Productions 7pm Fat City Bar & Grill, C, classes and 10pm workshops RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by Seize A Mo- Improv Workout ment Productions Class Act, C, Geovanti’s, C, 6:30pm, 10pm $10

the217.com

Doo-wap ba dop bop ooo.

DOIN’ IT WELL

MAY 12 - 18, 2011

BY JO SANGER AND ROSS WANTLAND

SUMMER LOVIN’ A

h, summer. The days are growing warmer. The sun is coming out. And the time for enjoying some hot sexual escapades with your lover abounds. But how can you enjoy this time to play when you are crashing at a friend’s house or worse, staying with your parents! Never fear: Doin’ It Well has everything you need to get your summer loving on. THOSE SUMMER NIGHTS

Summer can bring many different elements together for summer sexual adventures. First, the disruption in school may mean being in a new place temporarily (even your hometown), leaving open the possibilities of new or reconnected relationships. But even for those folks who are in committed relationships, time off of work/school can mean more time together, which can mean more intimacy (sexual and emotional). Additionally, the opportunities for exciting activities — like traveling to a new city or hiking a trail — can get blood pumping and increase the libido. So for many reasons, summer can mean more opportunities for sex! But the opportunities may not be presented at ideal times. Whether you’re in a situation where you share the only space to be sexual with oth-

Sexual tips for road trips, camp outs and your parents’ house er people or in a place that doesn’t even have a bedroom, creativity and imagination are both essential. Here are a few ideas for having fun and pleasurable summer sex.

Together, you might be able to imagine a hot quickie while also communicating some of the things you’d like to do! COME PREPARED

GET IN, GET OUT, GET OFF

If the moment grabs you but you don’t have much time before your roommate comes back, you need a quickie! Grabbing a “quickie” isn’t as easy as it may seem. In part, successful quickies rely upon a knowledge and understanding of your partner’s body, non-verbals, and turn-ons. So long-term sexual partners are more likely to have quickies down to a science. For those folks who are newer to each other, a fast sexual experience may not be ideal or possible. If you’re looking to have quick sex with a partner, check in to see what your partner wants. Take a moment to let your partner know what you’d like and see if they’re into it. In the movies, sex can be aggressive, rough and fast without so much as a “howdy.” But in the real world, some preestablished norms are helpful. Even folks who cruise for anonymous sex have rules! If you are able, you might be able to talk with your partner leading up to the quickie. Let them know what you’d like to do and your constraints.

We can’t stress enough the importance of traveling with everything you need to be safe and pleasured. Bring along the condoms, and if space is an issue, grab a “pillow pack” of lube (very small, discrete containers), which you can find at local adult bookstore. Your local adult bookstore will also carry some larger-sized lubes which will still be small enough for airplane travel. But most importantly, bring a dark-colored towel or something else you can use to contain your lovemaking and wipe up. Trust us, you won’t want to explain the stain. If you’re camping and preparing to pitch a tent (literally and figuratively), you should also bring some personal wipes for when water and soap might be scarce. This can allow you to clean up before and after. CONTAINING YOURSELF

If you’re in a shared living situation and attempting to find a way to have sex on the sly, respect your roommates. You probably wouldn’t want to

wake up or walk in to find them having sex near you, so don’t put your roommate in that situation. This might mean cooling it rather than waiting to get caught. Some people get turned on by the thrill of being caught or watched. We believe though that you should only have to see the sex you are choosing to watch, not the sex that other people want you to watch them have! Doin’ It Well loved seeing many of you at Sex Out Loud and the other events during the I-SHAG (Illinois Sexual Health Awareness and Guidance) week. Sexual health knowledge is power! Jo and Ross want to hear from you! Send them your questions at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

SEX 411

Summer Sex Resources » Dubberley, E. (2006) Sex for Busy People: The Art of the Quickie for Lovers on the Go » Waitzman, M. (2007) Sex in a Tent: A Wild Couple’s Guide to Getting Naughty in Nature

GO LOCAL FOR CO-LOCATION.

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• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

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2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

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30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

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Full time

010

Manager Trainee Great beneﬁts and earning potential! Career opportunities available upon completion of training program. Bachelors Degree in a Business ﬁeld required. Must be open to relocation. Apply in person at Menards 620 Town Center Blvd Champaign, IL 61822.

HELP WANTED Part time

020

Now accepting applications for an Electrical Engineer intern. Send your resume to dvdvoigts@gmail.com.

HELP WANTED Full/Part time

030

Durkin's Tavern 810 W. Diversey in Chicago is now hiring full/part time for the following positions: Door/Security, Waitress and Bartender. Durkin's is Chicago's home to Illinois Fighting Illini Athletics. Check us out on Facebook or at durkinstavern.com, email joe@bar1events.com for more info.

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

1,2,3,4 Bedroom Apts. From $299/person Fall 2011 102 S. Lincoln 101 E. Daniel 203 S. Fourth 605 E. Clark 205 S. Sixth 808 S. Oak 101 S. Busey 805 S. Locust www.mhmproperties.com 217-337-8852

John Street Apartments

58 E. John, C. Fall 2011. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwasher, center courtyard, onsite laundry, leather furniture, ﬂat screens, parking. Starting at $298/ person. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

207/211 John C.

2 Bedrooms. Great Location, on-site laundry, parking. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

604 E. White, Champaign

FOR RENT

APARTMENTS

rentals

Furnished/Unfurnished

410

Courtyard on randolph < 713 S. randolph > now leasing for 2011-12

Furnished/Unfurnished 2 & 3 bdrms. Near campus & downtown Champaign from $632/mo. Includes water, trash, parking, laundry facility, seasonal pool, all apts. have balconies. 217-352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

Security Entrance For Fall 2011, Large studio, 1 bedroom Apartment. Furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

307 - 309 Healey

New Kitchens 2 or 3 Bedrooms $343/person Flat-screen TV Behind IHOP University Group universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

605 S. Fifth, C.

Fall 2011 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1 bedrooms available. Garage off-street parking, laundry, and value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

www.jsmapts.com

Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

HELP WANTED

APARTMENTS

For leasing information, virtual tours, and more please visit:

INDEX

employment

Great Apartments for Fall 2011

Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

MAY 12 - 18, 2011

420 APARTMENTS

4 Bedroom Blowout Only A Few Left! $250/person/month 203 S. Sixth Hardwood, Leather Furniture, Flatscreen TVS THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

CHEAP

2 Bedroom Apartment $495/month Washer/Dryer August 2011 217-841-5407

GREAT VALUE

306-308-309 White, C Fall 2011. Furnished studios, 1, 2, and 3 bedrooms. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking. Behind County Market. Starting at $265/person. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

509 E. White, C.

Fall 2011. Large Studio and 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, Champaign THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

111 E. Chalmers, Champaign

2nd & Chalmers. Studios, 1 BR. Walk-in closets. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

307, 310 E. White, C 307, 309 Clark, C

Fall 2011. Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Starting from $360/mo. Behind County Market. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

203 Healey, Champaign

Fall 2011. Great location on the park. Private balconies. Fully furnished 3 bedrooms. Leather furniture. Flat screen TV. Hardwood ﬂoors. Parking, laundry, value pricing. $265/person. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

420

Furnished

509 Stoughton, C

Fall 2011 Near Grainger, spacious studios and 2 bedrooms, laundry, value pricing, parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

203 S. Sixth, C.

For Fall 2011. Large 3 and 4 bedrooms starting at $250/person. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

1005 S. Second, Champaign

1006 S. 3rd, Champaign

Fall 2011 1 bedroom Location, location. New Kitchens and Flatscreen TV Covered parking, laundry, patios. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Get your daily fill in

Fall 2011. Great Location, spacious studios. Secured building. Private parking, laundry on-site. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

the217.com DIRECTORY

602 E. Stoughton, C

-----> Locations shown on Google maps

Fall 2011. Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet. 2 Bedrooms starting at $387/person. Parking available. Must see! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

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every

thursday

106 Daniel Champaign

For Fall 2011. 1, 2 bedroom. Mardi Gras balconies with New Kitchens. New furniture, parking, laundry. Starting at $375/person. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Capstone Quarters Condominiums

Apartment Living Redefined Now Leasing

for August

2011

Many Great Campus Locations to Choose From! Studios-4 Bedrooms! Summer 2011 leases available!

Apartments 505 S. Fifth Street, Champaign, IL 61820 217-359-6108 Find JSM on Facebook! The JSM V.I.P. Program gives our residents exclusive discounts at local businesses!

$99 Security Deposit

Convenient

-Only 1.5 miles to Union -One block from bike path to campus -On-Site Management -22 Illini Bus route every 1/2 hour -Utility Package Available -Individual Leases

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CapstoneQuarters.com greenstrealty.com

Equipped -Private bedrooms each with own bath -Free cable & high speed internet -9 Foot ceilings with crown molding -Full size washer and dryer -Clubhouse with 24 hour fitness center -31 seat theatre, free for residents -24 hour computer lab -Group study room & game room -Resort style pool -Fully furnished or unfurnished Professionally managed by

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the217.com May 12 - 18, 2011

Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink!

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES

March 21-April 19

The 16th-century English writer John Heywood was a prolific creator of epigrams. I know of at least 20 of his proverbs that are still invoked, including “Haste makes waste,” “Out of sight, out of mind,” “Look before you leap,” “Beggars shouldn’t be choosers,” “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” and “Do you want to both eat your cake and have it, too?” I bring this up, Aries, because I suspect you’re in a Heywoodian phase of your long-term cycle. In the coming weeks, you’re likely to unearth a wealth of pithy insights and guiding principles that will serve you well into the future.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

“If you wish to bake an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe,” said astronomer Carl Sagan in his book Cosmos. In other words, the pie can’t exist until there’s a star orbited by a habitable planet that has spawned intelligent creatures and apples. A lot of preliminaries have to be in place. Keep that in mind, Taurus, as you start out down the long and winding path toward manifesting your own personal equivalent of the iconic apple pie. In a sense, you will have to create an entire world to serve as the womb for your brainchild. To aid you in your intricate quest, make sure to keep a glowing vision of the prize always burning in the sacred temple of your imagination.

GEMINI

May 21-June 20

I’ll quote Wikipedia: “Dawn should not be confused with sunrise, which is the moment when the leading edge of the sun itself appears above the horizon.” In other words, dawn comes before the sun has actually showed itself. It’s a ghostly foreshadowing -- a pale light appearing out of nowhere to tinge the blackness. Where you are right now, Gemini, is comparable to the last hour before the sunrise. When the pale light first appears, don’t mistake it for the sun and take premature action. Wait until you can actually see the golden rim rising.

CANCER

June 21-July 22

When some readers write to me, they address me as “Mr. Brezsny.” It reminds me of what happens when a check-out clerk at Whole Foods calls me “sir”: I feel as if I’ve been hit in the face with a cream pie -- like someone is bashing my breezy, casual self-image with an unwelcome blast of dignity and decorum. So let’s get this straight, people: I am not a mister and I am not a sir. Never was, never will be. Now as for your challenges in the coming week, Cancerian: I expect that you, too, may feel pressure to be overly respectable, uncomfortably formal, excessively polite, and in too much control. That would be pushing you in a direction opposite to the one I think you should go.

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

VIRGO

LIBRA

Sept. 23-Oct. 22

There’s not a whole lot of funny stuff reported in the Bible, but one notable case occurred when God told Abraham that he and his wife Sarah would finally be able to conceive their first child. This made Abraham laugh out loud, since he was 99 years old at the time and Sarah was 90. It may have been a while since God has delivered any humorous messages to you, Libra, but my sense is that She’s gearing up for such a transmission even as we speak. To receive this cosmic jest in the right spirit, make sure you’re not taking yourself too damn seriously.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

No one in history has ever drunk the entire contents of a regulation-size ketchup bottle in less than 39 seconds. So says the Guinness Book of World Records. However, I believe it’s possible that a Scorpio daredevil will soon break this record. Right now your tribe has an almost supernaturally enormous power to rapidly extract the essence of anything you set your mind to extracting. You’re an expert at tapping into the source and siphoning off exactly what you need. You know how to suck -- in the best sense of that word -- and you’re not shy about sucking.

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

PISCES

AQUARIUS

APARTMENTS Furnished

420 APARTMENTS Furnished

Stumped? Find the solutions in the Classifieds pages.

Across

1 Sped in a straight line 10 Raising a lot of doubt 12 It sounds like a fruit, but it’s really a jellyfish 14 Encircled 15 Wombs 16 New Mexico art colony 18 “Just ___ suspected...” 19 Reaches 21 Series set in Las Vegas 22 Musical heavy on the percussion 24 Liquor has it: abbr. 25 It’ll get you on the bus, maybe 27 Like the highest courts 29 The world of school 31 Some T-shirt decals 32 Like 0, but not O 33 Element with the shortest name 34 Unqualified for, as a task

“I’m not superstitious,” said Michael Scott, the former boss in the TV show “The Office.” “I’m just a little stitious.” From my perspective, Sagittarius, you shouldn’t indulge yourself in being even a little stitious in the coming weeks. You have a prime opportunity to free yourself from the grip of at least some of your irrational fears, unfounded theories, and compulsive fetishes. It’s just that you now have more power than the rest of us to break away from their spell.

In Plato’s Republic, Socrates speaks derisively about people who are eu a-mousoi, an ancient Greek term that literally means “happily without muses.” These are the plodding materialists who have no hunger for inspiration and no need of spiritual intelligence. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Capricorn, you can’t afford to be eu a-mousoi in the coming weeks. Mundane satisfactions won’t be nearly enough to feed your head and heart. To even wake up and get out of bed each morning, you’ve got to be on fire with a shimmering dream or a beautiful prospect.

Want to see a rabbit chase a snake up a tree? Go watch this video on YouTube: tinyurl.com/BunnyWhipsSnake. If for some reason you don’t have access to Youtube, then please close your eyes and visualize a cute bunny harassing a six-foot-long snake until it slithers madly away and escapes up a tree. Once you have this sequence imprinted on your mind’s eye you will, I hope, be energized to try a similar reversal in your own sphere. Don’t do anything stupid, like spitting at a Hell’s Angels dude in a biker bar. Rather, try a metaphorical or psychological version.

by Matt Jones

“Have a Nice Solve”—smile, it’s freestyle

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

In his book The Rough Guide to Climate Change, Bob Henson talks about the “five places to go before global warming messes them up.” One such beautiful spot is Colorado’s Rocky Mountain National Park. Vast swatches of its trees are being ravaged by hordes of pine beetles, whose populations used to be kept under control by frigid winters before the climate began to change. Australia’s Great Barrier Reef and Switzerland’s Alpine glaciers are among the other natural beauties that are rapidly changing form. I suggest that you apply this line of thought to icons with a more personal meaning, Virgo. Nothing stays the same forever, and it’s an apt time in your astrological cycle to get all you can out of useful and wonderful resources that are in the midst of transformation.

At one point in the story “Alice in Wonderland,” a large talking bird known as the Dodo organizes a race with unusual rules. Rather, everybody scampers around wherever he or she wants, and decides when to begin and when to end. When the “race” is all over, of course, it’s impossible to sort out who has performed best, so the Dodo declares everyone to be the winner. I encourage you to organize and participate in activities like that in the coming weeks, Leo. It’s an excellent time to drum up playful victories and easy successes not only for yourself, but for everyone else, too.

Feb. 19-March 20

jone sin’

MAY 12 – 18

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

In his Book of Imaginary Beings, Argentinian writer Jorge Luis Borges reports the following: “Chang Tzu tells us of a persevering man who after three laborious years mastered the art of dragon-slaying. For the rest of his days, he had not a single opportunity to test his skills.” I bring this to your attention, Aquarius, because my reading of the astrological omens suggests that you, too, may be in training to fight a beast that does not exist. Luckily, you’re also in an excellent position to realize that fact, quit the unnecessary quest, and redirect your martial energy into a more worthy endeavor.

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1 “Consarn it!” 2 Krivoy ___ (Ukrainian city) 3 Concerning 4 Linguist’s non-sound 5 Close after opening 6 Teen movie franchise whose box set is titled “The Full Reveal”

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36 AC measurement 37 Stick that goes off 38 Apartment levels 39 ___ Lingus (Irish airline) 40 Tiger’s ex 42 Fencing swords 43 Bum, but dirtier 44 “___ M for Mature” 46 Turkish money 47 Laptop connection 53 Allowed on public roads, unlike most ATVs 54 It uses a rake and sand

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7 Word before boy or fever 8 Summer, in St. Tropez 9 Juicy info 10 Disease diagnosed by dentists 11 Restaurant chain of “Old Country Stores” 12 Patricia Arquette, to Courteney Cox 13 He don’t like rackin’ frackin’ varmints 14 Installer who works with natural fuel, in Britain 17 Way-too-easy jobs 19 Barbecuers’ garb 20 John of “Full House” 23 Their shirt buttons are on the right 26 Honorific poem 28 “Make ___ of it” 30 Meet ___ (romantic comedy scenes) 35 Suffix for press 41 Multiplayer card game with elements of solitaire 43 One of Carrie’s “Sex and the City” boyfriends 45 Where dat thing goes, in Brooklyn 46 Theater box 48 Spy novelist Deighton 49 Brain wave monitor: abbr. 50 Depot stop: abbr. 51 Digital ___ camera 52 Club ___

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May 12 - 18, 2011

AND ANOTHER THING ...

by MICHAEL COULTER

Dining disaster! What not to do at your favorite restaurant I used to work in the service industry. I was primarily a bartender, but most of the places I worked at also served food. Of course, I encouraged all patrons who wanted food to fight their way through their hunger with more alcohol, but every so often I had to give in and actually pretend I was some sort of waiter … a terrible, terrible waiter. I still find the whole food service profession interesting, especially since I don’t do it anymore.

to order your meal, but remember, it’s a meal, not a class. You’re there to eat, not learn. Personally, if I go to a place where I can’t identify over three menu items, I just close my eyes, place an order and hope for the best. It might not be my best meal, but the wait staff won’t fantasize about drawing and quartering me for the rest of their shift either. He says to think your meal through from beginning to end. Wow, that’s actually a pretty good idea. I don’t really need my meal to have a plot, but it is nice if it has some sort of understandable narrative. Honestly, I can never seem to get all the way through three courses anyway, Honestly, I can never seem to get all the appetizer, entrée and the way through three courses anyway, with dessert structure, I can usually only stomach any two of those. with the appetizer, entrée and dessert Apparently all that liquor can restructure, I can usually only stomach ally fill a person up. The guy confused me when he any two of those. Apparently all that said to never go to the bathroom liquor can really fill a person up. once you’ve ordered the meal because some servers won’t bring the next course to the table if I read an article last week written by a guy who someone is missing. I have never heard this and says he eats a lot of meals out. He gave his extra I’ve definitely never seen this. In fact, it’s sort of special tips on how to have a really good dining fun to have food waiting for you when you come experience. From what I could tell, it was also a back. My advice? If you have to go to the bathlist of how to make every server in the world hate room, um, go ahead and go to the bathroom. you more than death. He apparently thinks way Simple and effective. Of course, he closes out his little article by telltoo much about the dining experience, and I get the impression he may soon be institutional- ing everyone to never keep your dissatisfaction to ized, if he isn’t already. Let’s take a quick look at yourself. If you didn’t like something about your his ideas anyway, just so everyone knows what experience, be sure to let the staff know. Forget not to do. peeing in your soup at the restaurant, this will He starts off with a bang by saying custom- make servers also come to your house on their ers should never accept a table they don’t like. off time so they can pee in your soup at home, That’s a fine idea. I think it’s a great plan to be too. I’ve seen people do this at restaurants, and I a pain in the ass before you’re even seated, es- have to say, it makes me want to get temporarily pecially if you would like several wads of spit hired at the place so I can get in on some of that or even urine in your food before the evening is soup urination. over. Fine, if they try to set you up with a table in There’s no reason to go to a restaurant you don’t the restroom, I think it might be a good idea to like again. This is a far better way to express you mention that you’d care for a less stinky table, dissatisfaction than acting like a tool to the server. but otherwise it’s wise to make the best out of The thing is, there are people who begin to enjoy your table situation. the bitching far more than the food. This makes it He says it’s important to listen to your cravings, virtually impossible to have a decent meal. It also not your server. Well, yeah, unless this particular makes it virtually impossible not to ingest quite a place is a theme restaurant based on an orphan- lot of kitchen pee. age in the 1920s, it’s probably OK to go ahead Overall, I think the best way to have an enand order what you would like. Yes, I know that joyable restaurant experience is to just relax rehearsed “daily specials” monologue can be as much as possible and act like you’ve got a quite captivating, but trust me, no server is go- little sense. ing to hold any sort of grudge if you go ahead and Treat the server like an acquaintance and not a think for yourself. personal slave. Be polite, tip and don’t steal any According to the worst customer ever, be sure silverware unless you really need it, it’s really to ask as many questions as you would like. That’s nice, or you are a little drunk and it seems like a good advice because I’m sure the rest of the world good idea. You’re having a meal outside of your likes you hear you talk as much as you do. Sure, house, not splitting an atom. It’s only difficult if it’s good to ask any relevant questions you need you make it that way. 16

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