Buzz Magazine: May 13, 2010

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Champaign-Urbana’s community magazine FREE

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week of may 13, 2010

spice things up 4 album quick picks 8 use your words 15

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buzz

VOL8 NO19

MAY 13, 2010

w eekly

IN THIS ISSUE ADVICE FROM THE BEST

5

Catch up with a retiring student advisor

SUPERHERO SEQUEL

7

Read about the ups and downs of Iron Man 2

LOCAL HEROES

8

Get to know long-time CU band Delta Kings

HARD TO CONCEIVE

13

Jo and Ross tackle pregancy issues

ILLINI 4000 5 ON THE217.COM MOVIES A review of Robin Hood will be online Saturday. This Ridley Scott-directed action film stars Russell Crowe and is sure to bring epic battles to the screen.

COMMUNITY See what graduating seniors checked off their bucket lists and maybe add some to your own — online this Friday.

FOOD & DRINK Chocolate chips are extremely versatile, beloved and all around awesome.

To learn some history and uses for chocolate chips, check out this week’s National Food Holiday column on Friday.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT A preview of the Parkland Art Gallery Spring Chicago Art Expedition: The Roger Brown Study Collection and Intuit Gallery, up on Saturday.

MUSIC

A concert review of Flosstradamus will be on the217.com this Saturday. Get your gums ready, because this band is for the dentally hygienic crowd. Those unprepared may be subject to bleeding.

2

buzz

CALENDAR

9

Your guide to this week’s events

EDITOR’S NOTE BRAD THORP

I was very fortunate during this hectic time to have my finals come to a close early in the week. I finished my last test this morning, and am officially done! For those of you in the same boat as me, congratulations on a great semester. Great job! For those still cramming and trying hard to stay focused, you can do it! The payoff will be great, and I promise your stress level will disappear.

With finals done, finally having some free time, my mom was able to come down for lunch today. I wasn’t able to make it home for Mother’s Day, so this was a perfect opportunity for me to take my mom out, show her off to all my friends and catch up. It was a really fun time!

We got some coffee, went for a walk, picked up a few groceries and I took her out to lunch.

The activities were fun — I mean, who doesn’t like getting free food? But, it was the content of the conversation that made the day for me.

I have such a cool mom! She’s her own person, and has a personality! What?! I feel like I just discovered a huge secret that has been kept from me my entire life. She was such a pleasure to spend time with. It made me appreciate her so much more than I have, and made me think about how great moms are.

Even though this is a bit later in the week, I want to write and thank moms everywhere for doing what they do. There are not enough thank you’s that can be said. It isn’t until you really stop and think about all that they do that you come to see what special people they are, and how strong they must be. They have taken care of us as we have grown up, watched us and been there to take care of us when the world roughs us up. They are never hesitant to give that hug at the end of a hard day. They can be a voice of reason when difficult decisions are presented to you, and can champion you in all that you do. It is such a great feeling to know that I will always have at least one fan out there, and she will always be rooting for me. Thank you, Mom

the217.com may 13 - 19, 2010

HEADS

UP!

LET

IT

OUT

If you could be stranded anywhere for the whole summer, where would you want to be and why?

Ruth Huang

“I would be in Australia because I like the weather, the people and the stars. I like the open space and the fields and all the nature.” breakfast of graduates

by Megan Dawson

buzz staff

Cover Design Huang Li Editor in Chief Brad Thorp Managing Editor & Copy Chief Claire Keating Art Director Annaka Olsen Photography Editor Annie Goold Image Editor Annie Goold, Bekah Nelson Photographers Annie Goold, James Kyung Designers Nicole Hammonds, Huang Li Music Editor Emily Carlson Food Editor Jeanine Russell Arts & Entertainment Editor Matt Carey Community Editor Em-J Staples CU Calendar Elisia Phua, Bonnie Siernberg Copy Editors Michell Eloy, Tim Madigan, Emily Siner Sales Manager Carolyn Gilbert Marketing/Distribution Brandi Willis Publisher Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ

Everyone knows what the Breakfast of Champions is, but when it comes to the Breakfast of Graduates, UIUC Class of 2010 is putting down the Wheaties box and making reservations at campustown’s best pomp and circumstance brunch venues.

Urbana’s Bread Company, located on the corner of Goodwin Avenue and Oregon Street, will be serving up an upscale bistro-style menu for graduates and their families on Sunday beginning at 11:30 a.m.

“We are going to offer several different kinds of quiches with spinach, mushroom, prosciutto, Gruyere, asparagus and goat cheese,” said Daniel Wyczolkowski, head chef of Bread Company.

The quiches will also have toppings like hollandaise sauce and caviar. At $8 to $10 per dish, each plate comes with fresh fruit, mixed field greens and a hint of raspberry vinaigrette.

For a tapas-style brunch, Radio Maria will be offering classic Spanish dishes, such as scrambled eggs with chipotle salsa and black beans from 10:30 a.m. until 2:30 p.m. on Sunday. Although there are no price specials, the restaurant isn’t charging additional costs for the celebration brunch.

“We are going to try to be as fair as possible to all of our guests,” said Jacob Daughtery, event coordinator at Radio Maria.

For a special post-commencement lunch or dinner, downtown Champaign’s Jim Gould restaurant has prepared a “celebratory” menu instead of its usual brunch.

“It represents all of the favorite items on our traditional menu, plus some chef specials. It’s been designed over the years to kind of give the guests a really nice variety,” said owner Jim Gould.

On the Web www.the217.com Email buzz@readbuzz.com Write 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 CALL 217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © Illini Media Company 2010

Danny Wolfe

“Probably the Smokey Mountains again and I would want to be trapped by a river in a valley in the mountains.”

Topless Female Dancers 18 to enter • Mon-Thur 8pm-1am • Fri-Sat 8pm-2am • $5 Cover (Always Hiring, We’ll Train)

Silver Bullet Bar

Largest Selection of Guitars in Champaign with over 350 in stock

1401 E. Washington Urbana 217.344.0937

www.silverbulletbar.net

202 W. Main Street & 71 E. University Street 217-352-1477

Details at corsonmusic.com

Rachel Zibrat

“I would say India because I studied abroad there. It is colorful, fun and cheap so if I were stuck there I could afford it.”

LIKES

&

GRIPES

Michell Eloy copy editor

Likes

» buzz Magazine: I’ve worked at buzz since the day I stepped on campus, dabbling in nearly every job possible, and damn, am I going to miss it. I’ve met some of my best friends here, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t shape my college experience. This little alt-weekly will always hold a special place in my heart. » Everyone I’ve ever worked with at buzz: There are far too many people to name here, even by intials, but know that I love all of you. Thanks for being awesome. » Claire Keating: She’s just so pretty. » The past four years: I’ve cried at the prospect of leaving this place every day for the past week or so. Sure, it’s not a pretty sight, but if I’m this upset about the end of my time here, it must mean I’ve done things right.

The Corkscrew has over 50 sparkling wines, ranging from $9 to $300 a bottle.

From French Champagne to Spanish Cava, Italian Prosecco to French Cremant, we’ve got your Graduation sparklers covered!

Drop by and see us and we will take care of the rest! Need something cold and in a hurry?

We have that covered too!

Corkscrew Wine Emporium 203 N Vine St, Urbana • 217.337.7704 Mon-Sat: 11–8 Sun: 12–5

Em-j Stapes community editor

Gripes

» The ARC outdoor pool: Don’t get me wrong, I love swimming laps. But I hate swimming laps in the company of 500 bikinis and overly-tanned hides lounging around. Careful, all those who float on blue rafts, I might sneak up and flip you ova!

No more dry hair for you! » Watching people move out when I still have finals to take: How I long to be hauling heavy cardboard boxes and Tupperware bins into stuffed trunks. Instead I’m walking to the library by my lonesome to study for an exam yet to be taken.

Do you need any help? I’m always looking for new ways to avoid my studies. » Seniors: I get it. It’s your last undergraduate final, the last time you’ll ever go on a bar crawl, the last work-out at CRCE — just put on the cap and gown and walk the stage already. Us non-seniors don’t know how to relate to your complaints. We’ll still be here, livin’ the college dream. buzz

Food

&

Drink

Not just a chocolatier

buzz

en-spice-clopedia

Local artisan trades in academia for chocolate

Anise — The real licorice

by Emily Siner

by Ellen Goleas

A

Daniel Schreiber, from Urbana, is one of about twelve artisan chocolate makers in America. Photos by James Kyung

Daniel Schreiber shook my hand, business-like, and sat down across from me at a table in Caffe Paradiso. He wore a bright blue polo, had a backpack at his feet and placed a little Lenovo laptop on the table. He is a doctoral graduate student in computer science at the University of Illinois, but, he assured me, not for much longer.

“In the middle of May, I’m either going to get kicked out, or drop out or something like that,” he said, a little too optimistically for such a shocking statement.

Schreiber has a plan, and it has nothing to do with anything he has studied over the past eight years. Instead of pursuing a Ph.D, he will be the solitary employee of his artisan chocolate business, Flatlander Chocolate Co. Schreiber began making chocolate from scratch as a hobby last year. He found graduate school “lonely and depressing,” he said, so he needed short-term goals to keep him sane. First, he memorized the opening chapter of Ulysses and performed it on the roof of the Krannert Center for the Performing Arts. Then, he found a website explaining how to make chocolate at home from its most raw form, cacao beans, in five main steps: roasting the bean to develop flavor, cracking and winnowing the beans, grinding the remaining portion and sugar into miniscule pieces, tempering the resulting cocoa butter to prevent it from crystallizing and, finally, molding the tempered chocolate into a bar.

The only catch — he needed $1000 for the equipment and beans.

“It would have been much easier if I had just gotten a summer job,” he said with a laugh. “I bugged my friends until I had no friends left.”

His fundraising paid off. On July 23, 2009, Schreiber molded his first chocolate bar, making him part of an elite crowd of artisan chocolate

buzz

makers. He estimates there are only a dozen in the country.

His hobby quickly turned into a business. The bars now sell at multiple locations around CU, including Caffe Paradiso and Strawberry Fields in Urbana. He will soon expand from a rented kitchen to a more efficient certified factory space and storefront, and he will begin producing more caramel and fudge.

Schreiber doesn’t think he ever had a dream to become the next Willy Wonka, though he used to try to impress his friends in high school by eating really dark chocolate. “I was into things with a lot of flavor,” he said.

That’s what excites him the most about chocolate: the intense flavor experience that comes from careful production of the best beans.

“Chocolate is typically something people perceive as having one flavor,” he said. “The thing about artisan chocolate that we want to educate the public about is that, like wine or coffee or beer, there are many different varieties of chocolate.”

During our interview, he handed me two small squares wrapped in shiny yellow paper. One of the chocolates inside was made from 75 percent cacao beans from Côte d’Ivoire; the other, from Madagascar.

I unwrapped one and broke off a corner.

“Take a small piece, and don’t swallow it, alright?” Schreiber said. “If you swallowed it already you messed it up. So don’t swallow.

“Chew it up a couple times, and put that mass on your tongue and let it melt,” he continued.

“Once it’s kind of melted you want to smear it around your palate and start trying to experience different flavors. Close your eyes and inhale, you know, and just think of other foods that you know.”

The first chocolate, from Côte d’Ivoire, tasted musky and sweet — like “leaves decomposing

on the forest floor,” he suggested — while the Madagascar chocolate was drastically tarter, reminiscent of a red fruit.

“Because of the way we really celebrate the individual characteristic of the beans, the flavors come out,” he said. “Both are made from 75 percent cacao beans crushed up and 25 percent sugar. But they’re totally distinct.”

It’s this celebration of flavor that sets artisan chocolate apart from companies like Hershey’s, or, as Schreiber called it, “sugar which is colored brown.” Mass produced fine or organic chocolates do not impress him either.

“You’re missing this whole story about individual bean flavors,” Schreiber said. “Primarily the reason for doing these things is just because it tastes a lot better.”

nise, also called aniseed, is a unique spice native to the Middle East and Mediterranean, but not often used in the United States. Interestingly, anise, rather than liquorice, is what gives black liquorice candy its distinctive taste. Anise is also a major ingredient in many of the traditional spirits of the countries in which it grows. Ouzo, a traditional clear liquor from Greece, tastes strongly of anise, and similar spirits are found throughout the Mediterranean and Turkey.

Even absinthe, a popular European spirit which was forbidden in the United States for many years, is made with anise.

Anise is not only an herb used to make candy and liquor. It can also be used in jams and desserts, and is sometimes part of a mixture used to candy fruit. Though anise plants can grow to be up to two feet tall, the flavor of anise comes only from its seeds, and it is important to not confuse Mediterranean anise with star anise, a totally different spice that is common to Asia.

Anise is one of the oldest known spices, and was originally used for medicinal purposes. People in the Mediterranean and Middle East often chew aniseed after meals to help with digestion. It is even said to cure hiccups. Below is a great recipe for traditional Italian sesame seed cookies, flavored with anise.

Ingredients: ½ c. butter ¼ c. white sugar ¼ c. packed brown sugar 2 eggs 1 tsp. anise extract 2 c. all-purpose flour 1 tsp. baking powder ¼ tsp. salt ¼ c. milk 1 ⁄ 3 c. scant sesame seeds Preheat oven 350 degrees Fahrenheit 1. Cream butter, sugar and brown sugar. Add eggs and vanilla, blend well.

2. Stir together flour, baking powder and salt.

Add gradually to the creamed mixture, blending well.

3. Break off a small piece of dough and delicately mold into a smooth ball in your hand.

4. Dip the top of the ball in milk and dip in sesame seeds.

5. Place on the greased cookie sheet. Repeat with the remaining dough.

6. Bake at 350 F for 15 minutes or until golden brown. Remove, place on wire racks to cool.

Recipe makes three to four dozen cookies.

the217.com may 13 - 19, 2010

I need at least 100 biscuits.

cyclists battle roads AND cancer Team pedals across the country for a good cuase

by Alexandra Morgan This summer will be anything but lazy for some Illinois students. Instead of reading books, playing guitar or selling lemonade, 28 students will be riding alongside highways and country roads, sweating under a hot sun, feeling tired and sore, and doing it all in the name of supporting cancer research.

“It’s not so much the act of biking,” said Eamon O’Hara, a rider for the Illini 4000 team. “What’s fighting the cancer is what’s behind the act of [biking].”

The Illini 4000 team is a registered student organization that raises awareness and funds for cancer research and Camp Kesem, a local summer camp for kids whose parents and guardians have been affected by cancer. On May 25, a group of 28 Illinois students will embark on a cross-country bike ride. They will bike from New York City to San Francisco over 72 days this summer to complete the coastto-coast trek — covering more than 14 states and 4520 miles.

For many of the riders, their commitment comes from being personally affected by cancer.

“When I signed up for the Illini 4000, my grandfather had just been diagnosed with throat cancer,” said Conor Canaday, president of the Illini 4000.

Canaday completed the ride last summer.

“His memory was always kind of in my mind as we biked along,” he said.

As the team pedals across the continental United States, they spread the word to the communities they visit.

“When you’re biking across the country, you interact with people a lot more,” said Canaday.

“Literally, for the entire day we have an opportunity to reach out to the community.”

Besides raising funds, the Illini 4000 concentrates on community outreach throughout the trip.

“Last year we talked to countless individuals about everything, and we were able to tell them about our cause,” said Canaday.

Part of the community outreach is the Portraits Project, the team’s ongoing project to interview cancer patients and survivors from all over the country throughout the ride.

“We interview people in the communities that we ride through,” said Canaday.

The idea behind the project is to illustrate the effect cancer has on American life and to explore the different ways that people deal with it.

“It’s a collection of stories to symbolize how cancer affects people of all backgrounds — race, ethnicity, religions and socioeconomic status,” said Canaday. “It affects everyone.”

Since its start in 2007, the Illini 4000 has interviewed dozens of cancer patients and survivors. This summer, the team plans to continue the project.

Photo used with permission by Connor Canaday of Illini 4000

“That’s one of the big things that’s going to be our fuel,” said O’Hara. “Being able to hear other people’s stories and interact with them is going to be what really keeps the team going,” he said.

The team will need any extra motivation they can get. Illini 4000 will bike 75 to 110 miles per day, making the ride one of the longest charity

One on One

rides in the country.

Canaday explained that the team’s physical struggles throughout the ride are nothing compared to the challenges faced by cancer patients.

“It’s easy to bike 80 miles a day when you think about cancer patients and what they’re going through,” he said. “We’re pushing our limits.”

with claire billing Student Advisor

by Lauren Hise

S

Photo by Annie Goold

tudents scramble to turn in projects, pass exams and make last minute adjustments to course schedules for the next semester. Another semester is drawing to a close, and for some it’s the last. On June 1, after 20 years on staff, English advisor Claire Billing will be retiring. Having helped countless students over the years find their way through transfers, registrations and just the everyday moment of panic, buzz sat down with Billing to discuss students, memories and saying goodbye. » buzz: After 20 years, why did you decide it was time to retire?

Claire Billing: Well, I enjoyed my career here at the U of I immensely, but I’m ready to move onto the next phase of my life. I’ve found that I’m able to do that. I wanted to volunteer and give back. » buzz: What made you decide that you wanted to be an advisor in the first place?

CB: I worked for quite a few years in the School of Art and Design, mostly with graduate students at first in the art history program. That is where I first came to really enjoy working with students. Then I ended up in the main office of the School of Art and Design working with undergrads. I decided this is what I want to be when I grow up — an academic advisor. Most positions on this campus need a master’s degree. I didn’t have that, so I decided to go back to school and get it. In my middle age, I went back. Within the School of Education, they have a great program in Educational Organization and Leadership, Higher Education Administration. I did that while working full time. It took me

three years. I actually got this position a year before I graduated. They took me as a visiting academic advisor and when I got my degree a year later, I was a formal academic advisor. » buzz: What’s the best advice you give to students?

CB: To be serious and appreciative of your education. Such a small percentage of people in this world get to have a college education, and U of I is a fabulous place. It’s our flagship university in the state, so just enjoy every minute of it and take advantage of everything we have to offer. We have a lot of good stuff here to explore. Stretch yourself a little bit. Worry about a career later, worry about what you’re doing here now. Definitely keep that in mind, but enjoy your classes. Take a lot of different things. » buzz: What are you going to miss the most?

CB: I’m going to miss the students. That’s my most favorite part.

Pretty much 95 percent of my job is students, so of course that is what I’m going to miss. » buzz: Looking back at your own college experience, is there anything you are really happy you did?

CB: I guess I am just really glad I went to college. Everything I did in college, I have absolutely no regrets. I really made the most of it. I stayed there every summer. I went to classes. I was very serious. I never missed a class, and I made some good friends that I still have today. I don’t have any regrets. That’s what I tell students — do everything you want to do. Don’t have any regrets. buzz

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entertainment

how to grow up CORP NOTE KEEP THIS SAME SIZE ALWAYS

8 senior sends a message to the younger generations A graduating TH PAGE

by Alyssa Schoeneman

W

hat is it with kids these days? The more exposure I get to current youth culture, the more I fear for the future of life as we know it.

I know that’s a bit harsh, but hear me out. Recent encounters with children as young as four to young adults as old as 19 have blown my mind. A sense of entitlement seems to permeate throughout this younger generation, which is squelching their work ethic, their reliability and their senses of respect and responsibility.

Case A: My younger siblings are spoiled beyond spoiled. The two girls, ages five and six, have more toys than a toy store, more DVDs than a video store and both are never without their Nintendo DS’s. The pair expects a new toy, or a “prize� as they call it, every time my father takes them to any kind of store. Naturally, if he denies them their prizes, they throw temper tantrums in the store until they get them. The girls have my father so trained that he buys them excessive toys even when they are not present. At a recent dinner with my brother, my dad purchased more than 10 SuperBalls from a machine in the lobby, because “the girls collect them.� See also: my dad’s basement littered with moreo than 100 of these balls, which he then has to clean up.

In this instance, it is obvious that the parents are just as responsible for the children’s behavior as the kids themselves are, if not more so. The excuse my dad gives, if pressured, is that he is too tired to fight with the girls, and that it is just easier to give them what they want. Laziness on the part of my dad and my stepmom then translates to obvious laziness on the part of the children, who almost have to be bribed to clean up after themselves. How this will translate to their future work ethic, I can only cringe to think.

Case B: As most seniors know, creating a senior thesis or research project is no easy feat. But that difficulty increases tenfold when the success of your project is dependent on the responsibility and general social etiquette of others.

As a senior dance major, each of my peers and I were required to create a piece of choreography for a group of dancers. These dancers are typically underclassmen, and they have three main responsibilities: show up to rehearsal, work hard and be upfront about scheduling conflicts. For some reason that I cannot seem to grasp, my graduating class has had to deal with numerous instances of our cast members acting irresponsibly and ultimately disrespecting our authority as choreographers. One big problem is that dancers have been skipping rehearsals without notifying their choreographers in advance.

If a choreographer knows about an absence in advance, he or she can plan around it and structure rehearsal accordingly. If not, a missing person can be a major handicap to the other cast members, as well as the choreographer. It is like trying to finish a puzzle with missing pieces.

Movement cues are often set between dancers, and it is difficult to negotiate interaction between bodies when someone is absent.

The choreographer must also account for this absence by catching the dancer up at the next rehearsal, taking precious time away from an already limited rehearsal schedule.

I’d like to know: when did completely blowing off someone who is counting on you to show up become an acceptable thing to do? And why, when confronted about their irresponsible behaviors, do these dancers show no sign of regret or altered consciousness? Maybe I’m being judgmental, but I chalk it up to their sense of entitlement.

As younger generations enroll at the UIUC, they bring with them a set of expectations – they deserve to get A’s in class, they deserve to

get scholarships and they deserve to get prime opportunities to showcase their work — just because. When I began my college career four short years ago, I took nothing for granted; I worked like crazy and I realized that as a freshman, my actions laid the groundwork for the rest of my time at the University. I was too afraid of my impending reputation to ever skip a rehearsal unannounced, and it took serious convincing to get me to skip a class.

Though I have relaxed my views about rigid class attendance over the past four years, I always hold myself accountable for my actions.

More importantly, if someone expects me to be somewhere, I pay them the common decency of letting them know about my absence in advance.

Illustration by Maureen Walrath

Hidden gem

The Last of Sheila (1973)

by Syd Slobodnik

217-384-6009 135 West Main street Urbana, iL 61801

††buzz

Everyone loves a creative mystery, but very few people have ever heard of one written by the unlikely team of famed Broadway composer Stephen Sondheim (Sweeney Todd) and Tony Perkins (Norman Bates in Psycho). In 1973, director Herb Ross created a very clever and entertaining thriller that concerns a big time Hollywood producer who gathers together a half dozen of his artistic friends for a Mediterranean cruise on his yacht, on the first anniversary of his wife Sheila’s death.

James Coburn stars as Clinton Green, the sly, game-playing host, who seems to suspect that some of his wife’s closest friends may have had something to do with her tragic end. Dyan Cannon, Joan Hackett, James Mason, Richard Benjamin, Ian McShane and Raquel Welsh wonderfully comprise the ensemble cast of writers, stars and director, who agree to play along with each of the night’s elaborate parlor games. Coburn and Mason are especially memorable, with their distinct manners and polished accents.

In the first night’s game, each friend is given a card that reveals a deep, dark secret about another friend. Among them is an ex-con, a shoplifter, an informer, a hit-and-run driver, a homosexual and a child molester. Like an Agatha Christie “whodunit,� layer after layer of lies and deceptions are revealed as strange accidents befall various members on their short ports of call. Nothing appears as it seems in this entertaining mystery that plays out with a sense of cynical delight and criticism of superficial Hollywood glamour.

the217.com ††may 13 - 19, 2010

How often do you check your websites?

movie review

PG-13

Iron Man 2

by Katharine O’Brian

★★✊✊✊

3Favorites Robert Downey Jr. movies

Less Than Zero (1987)

C

defend a movie

by Jennifer Lavine When George Lucas finally released Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace two years after he released the initial trilogy in theaters, it was a big disappointment for most. No one could stand the character of Jar Jar Binks, and many found baby Anakin to be a little too whiny. But what about Liam Neeson and Ewan McGregor? Did they not bring some much needed ass kicking into the series?

I entice you all go to back and watch Episode I. You will find Jar Jar is, in reality, barely in the movie. Sure, when he does appear, the scenes may induce some mild hemorrhaging in the brain, but it’s worth it to eventually see the scene between the suspenseful and tragic scene between Darth Maul, Qui-Gon Jinn and

Photo used with permission from Paramount Pictures

With so many plots and characters, it’s easy to see where Iron Man 2 goes wrong. There is too much going on. The villains have nothing to do.

Vanko spends all of his time building big electric whips, which don’t even really do much. Johansson is fine, but there’s no real reason for her to be in the movie. The same goes for Samuel L. Jackson. The only reason that plot even exists is to set up for Marvel’s planned Avengers movie. Sam Rockwell certainly does the best with what he has, but there’s no real reason to care about the rivalry between Stark and Hammer.

I honestly think that this movie suffers most from the recasting of Rhodey, Tony Stark’s friend. Terrence Howard and Robert Downey Jr. had great chemistry as the two friends in the first Iron Man. While Don Cheadle is a terrific actor, there’s something missing there. This film relies more on that relationship, because Rhodey becomes War Machine, Iron Man’s sidekick. While this film still features banter and bickering between the two, it feels forced. Because of that lack of chemistry, the whole War Machine plotline suffers. The scene where Rhodey puts on the suit for the first time to try to stop Stark from blowing up his own house is just boring.

Iron Man 2 does have its funny moments. Robert Downey Jr. is still great and charismatic. But the first movie was a fantastic combination of discovery, fun and explosions. This movie just doesn’t have what it takes to thrill the way the first one did.

Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace young Obi-Wan Kenobi — aspects that originally made the Star Wars franchise such a draw.

The scene is paced out by the presence of timed force fields, allowing our heroes to progress in only increments. This leaves what I would argue to be the hero of the trilogy, Obi-Wan, helpless to save his master when he is outmaneuvered by the Sith lord, Darth Maul. I still can’t help but gasp when Obi-Wan falls into the pit of doom that is conveniently located in the middle of the fighting arena.

So, with only a small dose of Jar Jar, some amazing action scenes and Liam freakin’ Neeson, I encourage everyone to give Star Wars Episode I a second chance.

It may not live up to the standards of its predecessors, but it’s still a pretty good movie.

Now serving wine and beer.

Week of May 14 - May 20

Babies (PG)

by Katharine O’Brian

omic book sequels have a tendency to disappoint. They have too many villains. They make the hero too brooding. There are too many gadgets. Unfortunately, Iron Man 2 suffers from all of these problems in one way or another. The most notable disappointment, though, is the drastic difference in tone between this film and its predecessor. Where Iron Man was funny and just plain fun, this sequel is grim. There are funny parts, but it’s mostly lost its flavor.

At the end of the last movie, Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) publicly revealed that he is Iron Man. This time around, the increased attention has gone to his head, making him even more narcissistic than he was last time. That’s fine, except now we have to watch as he struggles with his daddy issues and gets drunk in the Iron Man suit on his birthday.

Even his relationship with Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow) suffers after he makes her the CEO of his company. He’s dying from palladium poisoning, so he needs someone else to take over. The company runs into trouble after Ivan Vanko (Mickey Rourke) attacks Tony, so while he runs away to find himself, his rival Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell) seizes the chance to hire Vanko. He wants him to build new suits to rival the Stark Company’s Iron Man suits.

There’s also a subplot with Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and law-enforcement agency S.H.I.E.L.D., creating an excuse for Scarlett Johansson to don black leather.

Locally Owned, Personally Managed

This movie is not good. It’s very ’80s. That said, it showcases Robert Downey Jr. in one of his finest performances. He’s not even the star, but it feels like it’s his movie. This movie was made early in his career, before anybody really knew what he could do. As a young drug addict spiraling out of control, he is both charismatic and pathetic, attractive and repulsive. He pulls off such opposites with seeming ease, and he completely carries the movie. His history with drug abuse might lead some to say that he just plays himself, but he brings a vulnerability to the character that makes the performance more special than autobiographical.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Early in the 2000s, Robert Downey Jr.’s career seemed all but finished. He had been arrested for drugs again. He was practically uninsurable. Luckily, some people were still willing to take a chance on him, and with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, that chance certainly paid off. A hilarious combination of crime drama and comedy, Downey has great chemistry with fellow comebacker, Val Kilmer, as they try to solve the mystery of a murdered rich girl. Michelle Monaghan is also fabulous as Downey’s childhood friend and love interest.

5

Iron Man (2008)

The movie that officially made Downey a genuine movie star, Iron Man shows him at his most charismatic. Tony Stark is a boozing, womanizing mess, but he’s also a genius. That sort of bad boy-turned-good clichÊ could be hard to pull off convincingly, but Downey makes the audience love him.

It’s clear he’s having the time of his life, but he also works hard to make Tony Stark more than just a one-dimensional superhero. The work pays off. This movie is fun, fast-paced and surprisingly well-done — everything a good comic book movie should be.

Fri: (5:00), 7:30 Sat & Sun: (12:00), (2:30), (5:00), 7:30 Mon: 7:30 Tue: (2:30), 7:30 Wed & Thu: 7:30 PM

The Crazies (R)

35mm Film Presentation Fri & Sat: 10:00 PM Thu: 10:00 PM

126 W. Church St. Champaign

www.theCUart.com

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– showtimes for mAY 13 – robin hood PG13 (2:40) 12:01 Letters to JuLiet PG (2:07) 12:01 Just wright PG (2:01) 12:01 iron mAn 2 PG13 (2:25) 9:45 – 10:00 - 10:30 – 11:00 – 11:30 – 12:30 – 12:50 - 1:20 - 1:50 – 2:20 – 3:20 – 3:40 - 4:10 – 4:40 – 5:20 - 6:10 – 6:30 - 7:00 – 7:30 - 8:10 – 9:00 – 9:20 - 9:50 – 10:20 – 12:00 AvAtAr 3d PG13 (3:00) 11:30 – 3:00 – 7:00 A nightmAre on eLm street R (2:02) 10:30 – 11:00 – 11:30 – 1:00 – 1:30 – 2:00 – 3:30 – 4:00 – 4:30 – 6:00 – 7:00 – 7:30 – 8:30 – 9:30 – 10:00 – 12:00 furrY vengeAnce PG (1:50) 10:30 – 12:45 – 3:00 – 5:20 – 7:40 – 10:00 the bAckup pLAn PG13 (1:58) 11:00 – 1:30 – 4:00 – 7:00 – 9:30 the Losers PG13 (1:58) 1:30 – 4:00 – 7:00 – 9:30 deAth At A funerAL R (1:53) 10:30 – 1:20 – 4:10 – 7:00 – 9:50 dAte night PG13 (1:48) 10:30 – 11:00 – 12:45 – 1:15 – 3:00 – 3:30 – 5:15 – 5:45 – 7:30 – 8:00 – 9:45 – 10:15 cLAsh of the titAns 3d PG-13 (2:06) 3D SURCHARGE WILL APPLY/NO DISCOUNT TICKETS ACCEPTED 10:30 - 1:00 - 3:30 - 6:00 - 8:30 how to trAin Your drAgon 3d PG (1:58) 3D SURCHARGE WILL APPLY/NO DISCOUNT TICKETS ACCEPTED 11:00 – 1:30 – 4:00 –6:30 – 9:00 how to trAin Your drAgon 2d PG (1:58) 11:00 - 1:50 - 4:40 - 7:30 - 10:20 •ALL SHOWTIMES INCLUDE PRE-FEATURE CONTENT • www.carmike.com •

buzz †â€

MUSIC

catching up with ...

DELTA KINGS

by Amy Armstrong

Santah Releases debut album White Noise Bed

S

eventeen years after their formation, the Delta Kings remain staples in the Central Illinois music scene. The band has played more than 1,000 shows, ranging from summer street festivals to playing in venues such as the Krannert Center for the Performing Arts. In the beginning of this year, The Delta Kings released a new album, entitled 4 Chords & The Truth. The release marks a jump in the band’s songwriting skills and takes them further from their blues-rock, roadhouse roots to “a more disciplined dedication to the song,” according to Cody Sokolski, the band’s guitarist and vocalist. buzz sat down with Sokolski to talk about the new release and his thoughts about the music. » buzz: What are your plans for the summer?

Cody Sokolski: Playing outside. We’re looking at expanding our horizons. We’ve always played in the region, and we’re looking at going to Indianapolis and maybe Chicago. » buzz: What about your new release? How is that working out?

CS: Everyone who has heard it has agreed that the songwriting has taken a tremendous step forward. We originally put out an album for the blues-rock scene. We left that behind, and there’s a lot more going on.

by Brigette Ruhland

Image used with permission from the band

» buzz: And your least favorite part about being in the band?

CS: When people come up and ask if we do any Metallica or any other band. We do original material. I do it for the art and for its own sake. We are thrilled if people love it, but we don’t do it to please people. It’s still annoying that people will come up and treat me like a hired entertainer. » buzz: What are your thoughts on music?

CS: You spend a lot of time writing and rehearsing songs, setting up gear in the evening and playing until 1 a.m. You better love what you are doing.

There are a lot of different bands out there, and we’re all different. I can’t stand when people say a kind of music sucks. They should say that kind of music just doesn’t speak to them.

» buzz: What draws you toward music?

CS: Starting in seventh grade, all I knew was that I tossed aside all interest in sports and totally put it all into music. All my friends from life are from music. It’s how I ended up living in so many different places. I couldn’t imagine living without it. Music is just critical. Any opportunities not spent listening to music are wasted opportunities. » buzz: Anything else you’d like to say to the readers?

CS: I’m one quarter of a four piece band of equals.

Without the band, it wouldn’t be any good at all.

A great rock and roll band is the result of magic that makes the music more than a sum of its parts — like an extra member that brings it all together.

With this band, that’s what we got.

QUICK PICK ALBUM reviews ARTIST:

Broken Social Scene

ARTIST:

Justin Nozuka

ARTIST:

A Fine Frenzy

Album:

Forgiveness Rock Record

Album:

You I Wind Land and Sea

Album:

Bomb in a Birdcage

It’s been seven years since this ambitious collective released their surprise hit album, You Forgot It In People. After all the doubts, the heartbreaks, the fluctuating tour lineup and the solo projects, Broken Social Scene now decided it’s time to forgive everybody — humanity, their loved ones, their lost bonds and themselves. Although they’ve kept the oceanic vocal-instrumental dynamics, the sincere whispers and the shy, dawdling guitar melodies, Forgiveness Rock Record isn’t quite like the band’s other albums. It boasts lyrically malicious, poppy numbers like “Texico Bitches” and brass-propelled, synthesizer-furious tracks like “Chase Scene.” It also has its share of instrumental numbers like the uplifting buildup of “Meet Me In the Basement.” A BSS album also isn’t complete without Kevin Drew trying to declare that he’s “World Sick” in their fantastically cathartic opener. Broken Social Scene knows how to deal with the pains of love and fear, and the band is more deliberate and controlled than ever in fourth installment. ­ — Eli Chen

buzz

CHRISTMAS IN MAY

With a soulful voice, an acoustic sound and romantically inspired lyrics, Canadian musician Justin Nozuka produced his amazing debut album, Holly. This spring, Nozuka is back with his sophomore album, You I Wind Land and Sea. Though he once again does a commendable job with uniquely beautiful lyrics and melodies, the album is an unexpected change from his former. The new release is more typical of the studio albums most are accustomed to hearing. Instead of Holly’s raw, intimate tone that embodied rhythm and blues to the fullest, this album has more soft rock instrumentation and backup singers. These differences do not downplay his talent. They do, however, take some adjusting to. The peaceful You I Wind Land and Sea shows Nozuka’s impressive vocal ability as well as his powerful and poetic nature. There is no doubt that Nozuka is a rare artist who will be feeding our souls for years to come.

— Candice Norwood

In the modern world of overprocessed music, A Fine Frenzy’s A Bomb in a Birdcage is truly a breath of fresh air. Alison Sudol, the voice behind the album, strips away everything and leaves behind pure emotion. From light and melodic to heavy with feeling, Sudol’s voice keeps me spellbound the entire time. There is no dull section in any song, lyrically, or musically. The album starts out with “What I Wouldn’t Do,” filled with light guitar, whistling and hand clapping that compliments her bouncy, summery vocals. Although half of her songs are whimsical and almost ethereal, she’s definitely not afraid to show a darker side. In “The Beacon,” she delves into hidden emotions, her voice so filled with feeling I get goosebumps every time I listen to it. The whole collection of songs is an exploration of self, lying herself out for the world to see. True to her name, this album is a fine frenzy of eclectic instruments and sounds that all come together beautifully.

—Brigette Ruhland

Photo by Annie Goold

Few things compare to the satisfaction of seeing a local band you’ve followed for years succeed. That’s exactly what many people felt Thursday night, as they crowded into the front room of the Canopy Club to celebrate the release of Santah’s first CD, White Noise Bed. The night started off with Grandkids, a local band quickly gaining popularity around town. The four piece band had the audience captivated from the moment they started playing. With hypnotic melodies and lyrics that stay stuck in your head, the band kept the crowd moving to the music the entire time.

Dr. Manhattan, a band from Wauconda, followed. They radiated energy from the moment they walked out on stage. From a song requiring audience participation to a free-for-all in which the keyboardist jumped off the stage while the audience danced like zombies, they did not fail to keep a smile on people’s faces.

After the crowd was warmed up, Santah entered the stage to an affectionate reception of cheers. The atmosphere was filled with a buzzing excitement and the feeling of closeness from everyone gathered to support the success of a beloved local band. Each song played was filled with soul as lead singer Stan McConnell belted out lyrics, connecting with his audience. The collection of moving lyrics and a mixture of sounds kept the audience enraptured from start to finish.

Performing old favorites as well as some newer ones, the band kept the crowd moving, regardless of if they knew the words or not. The floor was alive with dancing, clapping and people belting out lyrics. During the song “Gypsy Paint,” perfectly described

by McConnell as being about “having fun, coming undone and going crazy,” the dance floor was taken over by some crowd surfing.

Among the other songs played were new favorites like “No Other Women,” “Overgrown,” and the single that gives its name to the album, “White Noise Bed.” After the last song, the crowd erupted into chants of “One more song!” to which the band was ever so obliging. After encoring with “Neighbors and Cousins,” a track off their new album, no doubt the crowd still left wanting more.

CALENDAR

MAY 13 - 19, 2010

Complete listing available at

THE217.COM/CALENDAR

SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at the217.com/calendar • E-mail: send your notice to calendar@the217.com • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 13 live music

stage

C, 12pm

Boltini Lounge, C,

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

DJ Mertz

ence Museum, C, 11am

SPOT: Student Play-

Undergrad Bible Study

10pm

5:30pm, $12

Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm

Kids Yoga with Kathryn

wrights Outreach

University Baptist Church,

Grown KidZ Funk

DJ and Dancing

Fitzgerald

Joel Spencer Graduate

Theatre

Recital

Krannert Center for the

Iron Post, U, 6pm

Performing Arts, U, 7pm

Justin Moore

SUNDAY 16 live music

Radio Maria, C, 10pm

miscellaneous

Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Brunch with Panache

Fubar Fridays

Spirits From the Sky,

Firehaus Saturdays

11:30am, $8

Jim Gould Restaurant, C,

miscellaneous

Fubar Lounge, C, 10pm

Thunder on the Land

Firehaus, C, 10pm

DIY Weekend Wizard

10am

The Bike Project: Open

DJ Stifler

William M. Staerkel Plan-

DJ Bundy

Orpheum Children’s Sci-

Live music at Carmon’s

Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

etarium, C

Fireside Bar and Grill, C,

ence Museum, C, 1pm

Carmon’s Restaurant, C,

8pm, $4

10pm

In My Backyard

5:30pm

William M. Staerkel Plan-

Live Irish Music with

etarium, C, 7pm, $3-$4

Emerald Rum

C, 8:30pm

Canopy Club, U, 8pm,

museum exhibit

Hours

$17

Champaign Police

Urbana-Champaign In-

Doors open at 7pm

Department’s Sesquicen- dependent Media Center,

Mile Nielsen

tennial Celebration

Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm, $5

dance music

Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of

U, 6pm

Ballroom and Night Club

the Moon”

dance music

Champaign Police Depart-

Yarn ‘n Yak

Dancing

William M. Staerkel Plan-

Salsa Night with DJ Dr. J

ment, C, 5pm

Rantoul Public Library,

Regent Ballroom, Savoy,

etarium, C

Radio Maria, C, 10pm

Rantoul, 7pm

8pm, $8

9:30pm, $4

“The Meltdown”: Latin

No children under the

Blind Pig Co., The, C,

mind/body/spirit

5:30pm

Yoga Fundamentals

Surreal Deal

karaoke

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U,

10am, $12

9pm

dj

recreation

Country Night with DJ

Free Self Defense Class

classes & workshops

Night at V. Picasso

age of six will be admit-

CG Productions presents

Halfdead and Free Line

Hwa Rang Do Champaign

Eating the Rainbow

V. Picasso, U, 10pm

ted.

RockStar Karaoke featur- Hatha Flow

ANTiSEEN

Dance Lessons from

Academy, U, 1pm

Activities and Recreation

ing Matt Fear

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Highdive, C, 9pm, $10

Senator’s Bar & Grill, Sa-

5pm, $12

voy, 9pm

Group Meditation and

concert

Scotty Van Zant

QUICK CASH - GET IT!

Center (ARC), C, 12:10pm,

Radmaker’s Rock & Roll

volunteer

$10-$15

Tavern, Tolono, 8pm

UC Books to Prisoners

Swing Dance Lesson

No cover before 8pm

Work Session

Illini Union, U, 9:30pm

REMIXXX Thursdays

Urbana-Champaign In-

with DJ Bob Bass

dependent Media Center,

FRIDAY 14

Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm U, 2pm

Sandwich

Event Popular presents:

Meditation Center, U,

Urbana Free Library, U,

Saturday Nite Mic

5pm

2pm

The Clark Bar, C, 9pm, $5

kids & families

Darden Purcell Jazz

Preschool Story Time

Combo

dance music

Rantoul Public Library,

Iron Post, U, 5pm

All Request Thursdays

Rantoul, 10am

WEFT 90.1FM R&B/Blues

Chester Street, C, 9pm

ARTfusion

Explosion

Swing Dance

Douglass Branch Library,

88 Broadway, U, 6:30pm,

Illini Union, U, 9:30pm

C, 4pm

$5

karaoke

UFLive! presents Jazz

Ananda Liina Yoga &

live music

DJ Funktopus Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm

Spiritual Discourse

open mic

mind/body/spirit

ATM conveniently located on campus at 6th & Green.

1601 South Prospect Avenue :`YehYa_f ÛddafgakÛ ~ ÛÝÛ ~ ooo l`]hjgkh][lZYfc [ge MEMBER FDIC

Live Jazz

karaoke

Jim Gould Restaurant, C,

CG Productions presents

SATURDAY 15

miscellaneous

karaoke

movies

The Bike Project: Open

Rock Band Sundays

What Ever Happened to

Hours

Hosted by MC Remy

Baby Jane? (1962)

Urbana-Champaign In-

Bentley’s Pub, C, 8pm

Virginia Theatre, C, 1pm,

dependent Media Center,

7pm, $5

U, 2pm

open mic

Spirits From the Sky,

Anything Goes Open

game-playing

Thunder on the Land

Mic Night with Jeremy

Chess Club for Kids

William M. Staerkel Plan-

Harper

Urbana Free Library, U,

etarium, C

Memphis on Main, C,

8pm, $4

8:30pm

DJ Bange

Core Yoga

7pm

RockStar Karaoke featur-

live music

Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U,

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Tractor Kings

ing Crazy Craig

Live Jazz

8:30pm

12pm, $12

Mike ‘n’ Molly’s, C, 8pm

Senator’s Bar & Grill, Sa-

Jim Gould Restaurant, C,

volunteer

the Moon”

stage

Liquid Courage Karaoke

Vinyasa Flow Yoga with

PBS

voy, 9pm

7pm

UC Books to Prisoners

William M. Staerkel Plan-

Open Stage

Memphis on Main, C, 9pm

Don Briskin

Huber’s West End Store,

CG Productions presents

One 2 Many and Ren-

Work Session

etarium, C

Red Herring Coffeehouse,

CG Productions presents

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

C, 8pm

RockStar Karaoke

egade

Urbana-Champaign In-

9:30 pm, $4

U, 7:30pm

RockStar Karaoke featur- 4pm, $12

Honky Tonk Trio

Rumor’s Bar and Grill, U,

Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U,

dependent Media Center,

No children under the age Drag Show

ing Crazy Craig

Clear Your Mind at the

Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U,

9pm

6pm, $5

U, 2pm

of six will be admitted.

Senator’s Bar & Grill, Sa-

Yoga Institute

9pm

Karaoke at Po’ Boys

Neoga Blacksmith

voy, 9pm

Yoga Institute of C-U, U,

The Stevie Hall Band

Po’ Boys, U, 9pm

Mike ’n Molly’s, C, 8pm

kids & families

the Hangar”

recreation

CG Productions presents

4pm, $14

Memphis on Main, C,

New Twang City

Kids Natural Arts and

Rantoul National Avia-

Sunday Morning Bird

kids & families

Huber’s West End Store,

Crafts Playshops

tion Center, Rantoul,

Walks

Spring Prairie Skies

C, 8pm

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

5pm, $12

Anita Purves Nature Cen-

RockStar Karaoke featur- Ashtanga Yoga with

9:30pm, $5

4pm

Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of

Chester Street, C, 10pm, $4

3rd Annual “Hangin’ at

ing Karaoke Opie

Lauren Quinn

Bentley’s Pub, C, 9:30pm

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

dj

William M. Staerkel Plan-

Billy Galt

10am, $16

Native American House

ter, U

CG Productions presents

5:30pm, $12

Flosstradamus

etarium, C

Bentley’s Pub, C, 8:30pm

Environmental Education

Congratulatory Cer-

7:30am

RockStar Karaoke featur- Yin Yoga with Lauren

Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $12

7pm, $3-$4

Outbound Drive

Center Open

emony

ing DJ Switch

Quinn

Top 40

Memphis on Main, C,

Homer Lake Forest Pre-

Illini Union, U, 5:30pm

Fireside Bar and Grill, C,

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Chester Street, C, 9pm, $3

mind/body/spirit

9:30pm, $5

serve, Homer, 10am

10pm

7pm, $12

DJ Delayney

Power Flow with

Highdive, C, 10pm, $5

Amanda Reagan

game-playing Trivia Night at The Blind

Spring Wildflower Walk

classes & workshops

Pig Brewery

dj

Lake of the Woods Forest

Tofu Making 101 Work-

The Blind Pig Brewery, C,

movies

faith

DJ Tim Williams

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Request Night DJ

Preserve, Mahomet, 10am

shop

7pm

The Thing

Moms and Grandmas

Soma Ultralounge, C,

12pm, $12

Boomerang, U, 8pm

18th Annual Kid’s Build-

Common Ground Food

Big Dave’s Trivia

The Art Theater, C, 10pm,

Group

10pm

Happy Hour Yoga with

Hip Hop at Bradley’s II

ing Fair

Co-op, U

Cowboy Monkey, C,

$6.50-$9

University Baptist Church,

DJs Ian Procell and Reflex Amanda Reagan

Bradley’s II, C, 9pm, $5

Orpheum Children’s Sci-

3pm, $12-$24

7pm

buzz

9

kids & families

- Part I

open mic

School)

Urbana-Champaign Inde-

Rantoul, 2pm

Fellowship Lunch

Green St. Cafe, C, 8pm

Common Ground Story

Early American Museum,

Open Stage for Bands/

Rantoul Public Library ,

pendent Media Center, U,

The Twelve Labors of

University Baptist Church,

Open Stage Comedy

Time

Mahomet, 2pm

Musicians

Rantoul, 4pm

5:30pm

Hercules

C, 11:30am

Night

Common Ground Food Co-

West African Dance

Memphis on Main, C, 8pm

Grades 5-8

“Bloods, Bones, and the

La Gourmandise Bistro on

op, U, 10:30am

Classes with Djibril

Trivia with Evan and

Body Farm”

Main, U, 6pm, $5

Reading to the Dogs

Camara

Monte

The Blind Pig Brewery, C,

Red Herring Fiction

Orpheum Children’s Sci-

Channing-Murray Founda- Monday Night Comedy

Bentley’s Pub, C, 7pm

7:30pm

Workshop

ence Museum, C, 2pm

tion, U, 6pm, $10-12

Illini Union, U, 8pm

Board Game Night

Abe Froman Project

Radio Maria, C, 10:30pm

mind/body/spirit

Monday 17

Mike ’n Molly’s, C, 9pm

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

live music

art exhibit

3:30pm, $12

Weekly Jazz Jam Session

Vinyasa Flow Yoga with

stage

stage live music

Channing-Murray Founda- Mastodon with Between

Tuesday 18

tion, U, 7:30pm

The Buried & Me, Baron-

Zoo Improv at The Iron Post Iron Post, U, 8pm, $4

ess, and Valient Thorr

kids & families

live music

volunteer

Canopy Club, U,

game-playing

O Baby!

Jane Boxall

UC Books to Prisoners

6pm, $23

Pokemon Fan Club

Graphic Design: Parkland Champaign Public Library,

Aroma Cafe, C, 7pm

Work Session

Donnie Heitler: Solo

Rantoul Public Library,

Iron Post, U, 7pm, $2

College Student Juried

Corn Desert Ramblers

Urbana-Champaign In-

Piano

Rantoul, 5:30pm

Amanda Reagan

One Dollar Wild Mon-

Exhibition

Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U,

dependent Media Center,

Great Impasta, U, 6pm

Route 45 Wayside Bags

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

days with Jobu

Parkland Art Gallery, C,

mind/body/spirit

9pm

U, 7pm

Traditional Irish Music at

Tourney

1pm, $12

Canopy Club, U, 10pm

10am

Yoga Fundamentals

The Piano Man

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Canopy Club, U, 9pm

Hatha Flow

C, 10:30am, 11:15am

Prenatal Yoga with Tami

Bentley’s Pub

Route 45 Wayside, Peso-

kids & families

Bentley’s Pub, C, 7pm

tum, 7pm, $5

Lego Club

Dave Cooper, Joni Dreyer, Euchre Tournament

Mor

dj

art

12pm, $12

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Industrial Night: DJ

VAMP Film Photography

Hatha Yoga with Grace

dj

Savoy Recreational Center,

and Brad Hendricks

Po’ Boys, U, 7:30pm

5:15pm, $12

SorceryKid presents

Meetings

Giorgio

Retro Night

Savoy, 3:45pm, $4-$6

Senator’s Bar & Grill, Sa-

Bingo

Nekromancy

Noyes Lab, U, 8pm

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Chester Street, C, 9pm

This program is for kids

voy, 7:30pm

Mike ’n Molly’s, C, 9:30pm

ages 5-12

Caleb Cook

miscellaneous

Chester Street, C, 9pm,

The Bike Project: Open

$2

recreation

Get Flexible at the Yoga

karaoke

American Boys and Girls

Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U,

volunteer

Hours

’80s Night

Complimentry Hada

Institute

Route 45 Wayside

Club

9pm

Community Connections

Urbana-Champaign Inde-

Highdive, C, 10pm

Cosmetic Session

Yoga Institute of C-U, U,

- Karaoke

Rantoul Public Library ,

Hada Cosmetic Medicine

5:30pm, $14

Route 45 Wayside, Peso-

Rantoul, 4pm

dj

Urbana-Champaign In-

tum, 8pm

Grades 2 and up

Wild West Wednesday

dependent Media Center,

miscellaneous

Paul Faber hosts Dragon

Story Time

It’ll Do 2, C, 9pm

U, 6pm

game-playing

The Bike Project: Open

Karaoke

Champaign Public Library,

Boys Night Out with DJ

GAS (Games After

Hours

The Clark Bar, C, 9pm

C, 6:30pm

Randall Ellison

kids & families

CG Productions presents

For ages 2 to 5

Boltini Lounge, C, 9pm

Storyshop at the Branch

I Love the ’90s

Douglass Branch Library, C,

5:30pm, $12

pendent Media Center, U,

karaoke

2pm

Skincare Clinic, C, 9am

Acoustic Karaoke with

classes & workshops

Steve Meadows

The Gift of the Silk Worm Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm

RockStar Karaoke featuri.com

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Girls’ Night

10pm

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Memphis on Main, C, 9pm

Wednesday 19

Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm 10:30am

Rave To The Grave:

Open Mic Night hosted

mind/body/spirit

Dance Night

mind/body/spirit

by Mike Ingram

Vinyasa Flow Yoga with

Canopy Club, U, 9pm

Core Yoga

Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

Don Briskin

Weekly Salsa Night

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

12pm, $12

stage

4pm, $12

Zoo Improv at Indi Go

Ashtanga Yoga with

concert

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Gallery

Lauren Quinn

Red Molly Americana/

5:30pm, $12

Indi Go artist co-op, C,

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

Roots Female Trio

Candlelight Yoga with

9pm, $2

7pm, $12

Urbana-Champaign Inde-

Kim Morin

Hatha Flow

pendent Media Center, U,

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

recreation

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

8pm, $15-$20

7pm, $12

Weekly Red Pin Bowling

12pm, $12

Special

Slow Flow with Amanda

karaoke

faith

Illini Union, U, 6pm

Reagan

CG Productions presents

Grad Students and Pro-

Amara Yoga & Arts, U,

RockStar Karaoke featur- fessionals Bible Study

game-playing

5:30pm, $12

ing DJ Switch

University Baptist Church,

WPGU presents Trivia

Introduction to Medita-

The Corner Tavern, Monti-

C, 7pm

Diner hosted by Fishing

tion Classes

cello, 8pm

With Dynamite

Ananda Liina Yoga & Med- International Karaoke

Canopy Club, U, 7pm

itation Center, U, 7:30pm

Hatha Flow

miscellaneous

hosted by Paul Faber

The Bike Project: Open

V. Picasso, U, 9pm

Hours

literary

faith

Book Club

Grad Students and

open mic

pendent Media Center, U,

Rantoul Public Library ,

Professionals Weekly

Open mic at Green St.

6:30pm

Urbana-Champaign Inde-

the217.com

When I got to Grainger, I found a nest of baby rabbits. I just watched those little fuzz balls for twenty minutes.

RANTS & RAVES TRI-TOWN TALK



“Rants and Raves” is an anonymous space for your words, not ours. Post (anonymously) on the217.com’s Rants & Raves forum (find it on the home page) and we will put your scribblings in an upcoming issue. We reserve the right to refuse to publish any post on the basis of content.

MAY 13 - 19, 2010

buz z ’s WEEK AHEAD JUSTIN MOORE

ó

I am so excited to spend another summer in CU I can hardly contain myself.

This place may seem like a ghost town on the surface, but there are fun things going on all around town — street festivals, the farmer’s market, garage sales.

It’s so greate here in the summertime, I almost forget that I have to be in constant fear of getting jumped when I walk around at night!

M

Dear weather, It’s not supposed to be below 60 degrees until next September. Get with the program, Mother Nature.

M

Is it too much to ask to just be in college, but not be a student? Why didn’t anyone tell me college was so hard? Between class and work, I hardly have time to binge drink and have unprotected sex with strangers. Boo, college. Boo.

ó

ó

One day, we’ll get to move back to Mom and Dad’s and start binge drinking again in their basement. Hang in there!

Canopy Club 708 S. Goodwin Ave., U. Thursday, May 13 8 p.m. $17 You’re probably asking yourself, “Who is Justin Moore?”

Well, to be perfectly honest, I have no idea. But after a quick online search I found out that he is a country singer.

How did I find this out? Because he wears a cowboy hat.

I’ve never been to a country concert, so I feel as if I should go to one before I die. It’s on my bucket list, right below having a beer with Eddie Vedder. — Matt Carey, Arts & Entertainment Editor

MASTODON WITH BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME AND BARONESS Canopy Club 708 S. Goodwin Ave., U. Wednesday, May 19 6 p.m. $23 Back when I was really cool (high school), I was a complete metal head. Now I’ve mellowed out a little bit, but my appreciation for Mastodon remains. Plus, Between the Buried and Me is still one of my favorite bands. This is a concert I’ve been looking forward to for a while- getting done with finals, and getting back in touch with my metal roots. — Jeanine Russell, Food & Drink Editor

MARKET AT THE SQUARE Lincoln Square, U. Saturday May 15 7 a.m. - noon I used to work downtown Urbana and there was nothing I loved more than leaving for work an hour early so I could wander through the fresh produce, crunchin’ on a homegrown apple and watching all the cute local farmers in their cliche overalls and straw hats. And the soy candles! How could I ever forget the soy candles. I usually wouldn’t buy homegrown produce because it’s usually just not that convenient, so I love that this event allows me to support the locals and have a good Saturday morning of fun! — Emily Carlson, Music Editor

COMMON GROUND FOOD CO-OP Lincoln Square Mall 300 S. Broadway, Suite 166, U. Saturday, May 15 3 p.m. - 5 p.m.

Thursday, May 13 10pm The Art Theater, Champaign

Gimme some protein! Wait! I’ll just make it myself. I’ll put on my sous chef outfit and make my own raw soybean concoction. Be my date? We can stand side by side making tofu and soy sausages, then we’ll take home our own tofu molds if we bring a four cup container. Yum. — Em-J Staples, Community Editor

buzz

11

Classifieds Place an Ad: 217 - 337 - 8337 Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Index Employment 000 Services 100 Merchandise 200 Transportation 300 Apartments 400 Other Housing/Rent 500 Real Estate for Sale 600 Things To Do 700 Announcements 800 Personals 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion.

• All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time.

• All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student.

• Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment.

• All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student.

• This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Deadline:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

Rates:

Billed rate: 43¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 37¢/word

Photo Sellers

30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

Garage Sales

30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads

• 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

12

buzz

HELP WANTED

010 APARTMENTS

Full time

Furnished/Unfurnished

CREATIVE MANAGER

BEST OFFER CAMPUS

Illini Media has an immediate fulltime opening in our CreativeWorks department. We're looking for an experienced graphic designer to direct a team of talented student designers who produce the print and online ads, as well as the marketing materials for our various media units (The Daily Illini, Buzz, WPGU, ILLIO, Technograph, the217.com). This is a perfect job for a creative, organized designer/manager who thrives in a fast-paced, fun environment. The ideal candidate will have experience with Adobe Creative Suites and Macromedia Flash. Apply by May 17 to Kit Donahue, kit@illinimedia.com.

1 BR Loft 2 BR 3 BR 4 BR Campus. 367-6626 Available August 2010

410 APARTMENTS Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

1005 S. Second, C. Fall 2010 studio and 4 bedroom penthouse. Secured building. Private parking, laundry on-site. Value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

509 E. White, C.

Need to make some extra cash?

Check today’s Daily Illini Classified section

August 2010. Large Studio and 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

creativemanager

Illini Media has an immediate full-time opening in our CreativeWorks department. We’re looking for an experienced graphic designer to direct a team of talented student designers who produce the print and online ads, as well as the marketing materials, for our various media units (The Daily Illini, Buzz, WPGU, Illio, Technograph, the217.com).

This is a perfect job for a creative, organized designer/manager who thrives in a fast-paced, fun environment. The ideal candidate will have experience with Adobe Creative Suites and Macromedia Flash.

Apply by May 17 to Kit Donahue, kit@illinimedia.com.

HELP WANTED Part time

020

SUMMER EMPLOYMENT WPGU-FM/Illini Media is seeking self-motivated, goal-oriented students to be a part of our radio advertising sales team, Summer 2010 and into the Fall. This is an outside– sales position; student salespeople will be actively talking with and presenting advertising ideas to businesses in the Champaign-Urbana area. Students must be able to work a minimum of 15 hours per week.

This is a major resume-building opportunity. A number of WPGU sales alumni have used this position to catapult themselves into major market radio sales positions in Chicago and St. Louis immediately after graduation.

If you are serious about preparing yourself for the world beyond college, please email Kshipra Datar, WPGU Student Sales Manager, to schedule an interview. Please include a resume and only apply if you are serious about taking on new challenges.

WPGU is a 3000-watt, commercially-licensed, student run radio station with a listening radius of 45-miles.

WPGU is a subsidiary of Illini Media, publishers of the Daily Illini, buzz, Illio, Technograph, and the217.com.

Send resumes to kdatar2@illinimedia.com

Courtyard on randolph < 713 S. randolph > now leasing for 2010

Furnished/Unfurnished 2 & 3 bdrms. Near campus & downtown Champaign from $640/mo. Includes direct TV, water, trash, parking, laundry facility, seasonal pool, all apts. have balconies.

217-352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

APARTMENTS

604 E. White, C. Security Entrance Fall 2010, Large studio, 1, 2 bedroom, Loft Apartment. Furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

ANTIQUES/COLLECT 205 H We Buy Gold and Silver Watches, toys, costume jewelry. We welcome vintage estate items. Locally owned and operated.

1502 1/2 Cunningham North Gate Plaza 217-493-5643

calendar check it out!

THE217.COM

420

Furnished

H

H H

HUGE!

H

309 N. Busey – August 2010

2 BR Fully furnished, W/D, ethernet & parking. Close to Beckman. $625/mo. Call Chris anytime.

841-1996 or 352-3182

H

H

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS 307-309 Healey Court, C. Fall 2010. Behind FU Bar. 2 bedrooms. Parking, laundry. Starting at $385/person. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

GREAT VALUE 306-308-309 White, C August 2010. Furnished studios, 1, 2, and 3 bedrooms. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking. Behind County Market.

Starting at $265/person.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

605 S. Fifth, C. Fall 2010 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1 bedrooms available. Garage off-street parking, laundry, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

509 Bash Court, C. Fall 2010 Great 3 and 5 bedrooms, Behind Legends. Fully furnished, dishwashers, laundry. Off-street parking.

Starting at $330/person. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

NEW KITCHENS 503 - 505 - 508 White 2 Bedroom with den $790 3 Bedroom $830-950

theuniversity

group

Contact Justin at 618-304-8562

Completely Furnished On-Site Parking & Laundry On-Site Resident Manager universitygroupapartments.com 217-352-3182

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

203 Healey, C.

602 E. Stoughton, C

Fall 2010. Great location on the park. Private balconies. Fully furnished 3 bedrooms, $310/person.

Parking, laundry, value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Fall 2010. Unique 1, 2 bedroom apartments. Furnished, laundry, internet. 2 Bedrooms starting at $387/ person. Parking available. Must see!

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

105 E. John, C.

August 2010. Large 4 bedrooms, 2 bath. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Starting at $250/person. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

203 S. Sixth, C. Fall 2010. Large 1, 2 bedroom furnished, great location. 352-3182.

Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com

Furnished

420

1006 S. 3rd, C. Fall 2010 1 bedroom.

Location, location. Covered parking, laundry, furnished, patios. Value pricing. Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

111 E. Chalmers, C. August 2010 studio, 1, 4 bedrooms.

Furniture, skylights, off-street parking, laundry. Starting at $247/person.

Office at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

Leasing for Fall 2010!

2 Bedrooms

1001 W. Clark, U 303 S. Wright, C 413 W. Main, U 707 S. Sixth, C

(Newly renovated Lando Place)

Look for JSM on Facebook!

Studio

108 S. Fourth, C 307 E. Armory, C Clark St. Studios, C 502 E. White, C (Fall Semester Lease)

4 Bedrooms 601 W. Green, U (Newly renovated)

301 S. Water, C (Beautiful Lofts)

1 Bedroom

108 S. Fourth, C 507 E. Clark, C The Village, C Busey Court, U 203 E. Stoughton, C 601 & 603 E. Clark, C 707 S. Sixth, C

(Newly renovated Lando Place) The JSM V.I.P. Program gives our residents exclusive discounts at local businesses!

For leasing information, virtual tours, and more please visit:

www.jsmapts.com Apartments 217-359-6108 505 S. Fifth St., Champaign

the217.com may 13 - 19, 2010

I dream about talking dogs and, every once in a while, fellatio.

DOIN’ IT WELL

by Jo SangEr and Ross Wantland

Lost (In)Fertility D

eciding to try to get pregnant can be an exciting time filled with feelings of anticipation, connection with a partner if you’re coupled or with yourself if you’re single, and hope for expanding your family. But, when your period arrives a few weeks later, many women or couples may feel a wide range of reactions including disappointment, relief or sadness. Infertility affects about 10 percent of the population but isn’t always talked about openly in our culture. This week, “Doin’ It Well” decided to offer some much needed information and support regarding infertility.

Labels

Most medical experts agree on the following definition of infertility: the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after 12 months of trying to do so. If a woman is over the age of 35, that time frame is shortened to six months. Various factors can affect your ability to get pregnant, so it is important to see a medical provider if you are worried about your fertility.

Ask. Listen. Support. Repeat.

It’s perfectly normal for it to take a few months or longer to get pregnant, but if you are trying to conceive it can feel like things “aren’t working,” and you may start to worry or have other reac-

APARTMENTS Furnished

tions, including a sense of loss. These reactions can vary tremendously from person to person.

Comments like, “Oh, you haven’t been trying very long, don’t worry,” or “You shouldn’t have waited so long,” while well intended, don’t always feel supportive. It may be helpful to limit the people with whom you share your baby-making plans. If someone has told you they are trying to get pregnant, be sensitive about asking them if it’s happened yet. At the same time, don’t shy away from the subject either, especially with those who are close to you. There is sometimes silence around the issue of pregnancy when no announcement appears right away. You may want to ask if that is something your friend or relative wants to talk about and how you can be most supportive to them.

Partner Up

If you’re in a couple and trying to get pregnant, you may notice the effects it has on your relationship with your romantic partner. Thirty percent of the time infertility is caused by factors in the male, 30 percent by problems in the female, 10 percent by a combination of male and female factors and the remaining 20 percent of cases are undetermined. These statistics can lead to feelings of worry (is it my fault?), guilt or blame.

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or pregnancy. Instead, couples are encouraged to focus on pleasure and intimacy. If undergoing infertility treatment, a couple may need to have sex at certain times, or fertilization may be attempted within a clinical setting. This can definitely hinder pleasure and connection! Infertility can affect aspects of the sexual response cycle — desire, arousal, and orgasm — for both men and women. If sex doesn’t feel like it used to or you are noticing newly experienced sexual problems, it may be a normal reaction to the stress caused by trying to conceive. Talking to your partner, your medical provider or a mental health professional for help.

Jo & Ross will answer your sex questions! Write to them at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

SEX 411

Infertility Resource » www.resolve.org has great information for those who haven’t been able to conceive. We like the page “Surviving The Two Week Wait.”

Part of the Fun ...

Sexual intimacy can definitely be affected by baby-making plans in both good and not-so-good ways. Most sexperts caution against goal-oriented sex, whether the goal is orgasm, erection

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Sometimes, these feelings can immobilize people from further treatment or diagnosis. For example, one partner might not want to go in for a fertility work-up for fear that the cause will be identified within their reproductive system. We’ve talked in previous columns about how our sexual functioning is tied to our feelings of femininity and masculinity, and how problems with sexuality can have a deep impact on our overall sense of self and identity.

Because of the myriad of emotions within ourselves and our partner, make sure to talk openly and honestly with each other. It may also be a good time to see a counselor or therapist to help navigate these reactions, especially since it can feel overwhelming that an issue (pregnancy) that originally felt like was going to bring you closer together is perhaps now causing stress and strain. However, not all couples experience huge amounts of distress when they have difficulty trying to conceive or they are able to navigate in a healthy and supportive way the distress they do experience.

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may 13 - 19, 2010

the217.com

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES

(March 21-April 19) What happens when someone “sells out”? Typically, it refers to a person who overrides her highest artistic standards or her soul’s mandates in order to make a bundle of money. But I want to enlarge the definition to encompass any behavior that seeks popular appeal at the expense of authenticity, or any action that sacrifices integrity for the sake of gaining power. I think you have to be especially on guard against this lapse in the coming days, Aries -- not only in yourself but also in those you’re close to.

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20) “I can’t live the button-down life,” says cartoon character Homer Simpson. “I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles.” Born May 10, Homer is unusual for a Taurus. Many of your tribe love the creamy middles but are quite content to live without the terrifying lows, even if that means being deprived of your fair share of dizzying highs. While that may sometimes seem like a boring limitation, I don’t expect it to be any time soon. The creamy middles that are looming for you are the lushest, plushest creamy middles I’ve seen in a long time. Terrifying lows and dizzying highs will be irrelevant.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20) Spanish painter Francisco Goya created an etching entitled “El Sueño de la Razón Produce Monstruos.” Its two possible translations have very different meanings: “The sleep of reason produces monsters” or “The dream of reason produces monsters.” The first version suggests that when our reasoning faculties go dormant, we’re susceptible to doing dumb and crazy things. The second version implies that if we rely excessively on our reasoning faculty, it acquires a lunatic hubris that devalues our emotions and distorts our imagination. You’re more susceptible to the former than the latter right now, Gemini, but it’s crucial that you avoid both. A way out of your pain is available if you use your reason just right -- neither too little nor too much.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22) Some of your illusions seeped into you before you learned to talk. Others sneaked into you later, while you were busy figuring out how to become yourself. Eventually, you even made conscious choices to adopt certain illusions because they provided you with comfort and consolation. There’s no need to be ashamed of this. It’s a natural part of being a human being. Having said that, I’m happy to announce that you’re entering a phase when you will have the power to shed at least some of your illusions -- especially the ones you consciously chose -- in ways that don’t hurt you. To begin the process, declare this intention: “I have the courage to see life as it really is.”

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22) According to a statute in the state of Indiana, you may not use your bare hands to catch a fish from a lake. In Fairbanks, Alaska, you’re breaking the law if you let a moose slurp an alcoholic drink. In Flowery Branch, Georgia, you may be arrested if you shout out “Snake!” Arizona doesn’t permit you to let a donkey sleep in your bathtub. And yet I’ve got to say that you Leos could probably get away with all of these acts and more in the coming weeks. The omens suggest that your levels of freedom are extremely high, as is your amount of slack. You’ll have clearance to do many things you wouldn’t normally be able to do.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22) I didn’t think it was possible, but paranoid visions of doom and gloom have become even more popular in the past few years than ever before. Apocalypse-watching is no longer a fringe hobby reserved for conspiracy fetishists; it has gone mainstream. And yet here I am in the midst of the supposed mayhem, babbling my eccentric ideas about how we are living in the single most wonderful time in the history of civilization. So let me ask you a crucial question, especially if you’re one of the millions of normal people who believes that cynicism is a supreme sign of intelligence: Do you really want to be getting your fortune told by a rebel optimist like me? You should know that all my

14

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May 13 - May 19

jonesin’

by Matt Jones

“S c h o o lya r d P r a n k s : P l at i n u m E d i t i o n ”-- o n ly f o r t h e c l a ss i es t c h i l d r e n .

horoscopes are rooted in the hypothesis that expecting the best makes you happier, safer, kinder, wilder, stronger, and smarter. What happens in the coming weeks will, in my opinion, be dramatic proof of that.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22) The bad news is that climate change is really underway.

That’s why Purbasha Island in the Bay of Bengal has sunk beneath the waves, swallowed up by rising sea levels and shifts in monsoon patterns. The good news is that its disappearance has ended a dispute between India and Bangladesh, both of which claimed it as their own. There’s nothing left to fight over. I foresee a metaphorically comparable scenario coming to your life, Libra: an act of nature that will render a conflict irrelevant.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Some experts say methamphetamine is more addictive than any other drug. Here’s one reason why, according to “Mothers Against Methamphetamines” founder Dr. Mary Holley: “The effect of an IV hit of methamphetamine is the equivalent of 10 orgasms all on top of each other lasting for 30 minutes to an hour, with a feeling of arousal that lasts for another day and a half.” At least that’s what it’s like in the early stages of using the drug. After a while, hell sets in and the body is no longer happy. Luckily, you Scorpios won’t be tempted to fall victim to meth splurges any time soon. Without relying on anything more than your natural powers, your capacity for experiencing erotic pleasure will be substantial.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Your eyes can discriminate between about 500 various shades of gray. Let’s hope your moral compass is as precise in its power to distinguish subtle differences. Why? Because there will be no easy black-versus-white decisions to make in the near future; no simple, foolproof way to determine the distinctions between good and bad. I recommend that for now you give up hope of achieving utter certainty, and instead celebrate the refined pleasures of nuanced, complicated truth.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19) These days you have an extraordinary capacity to perform magic. And when I use that word “magic,” I mean it in a very specific sense: causing practical changes to occur in accordance with your most noble and beautiful desires.

I’m not talking about the kind of “magic” that helps you gratify mediocre wishes or tawdry fantasies. I’m not saying you should go on an acquisitive binge as you gather up booty and bragging points. Rather I’m letting you know that you have the power to create inspiring transformations in the way your life works.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Do you want to know where all the power lies for you right now? It’s nowhere. Do you want to know what the nature of that power is? It’s nothing. But before you jump to conclusions about the meaning of what I just said, read this passage from Lao Tzu’s *Tao Te Ching,* translated by Stephen Mitchell: “We join spokes together in a wheel, but it is the center hole that makes the wagon move. We shape clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want. We hammer wood for a house, but it is the inner space that makes it livable.”

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20) A Pisces woman I know was harried by ant swarms invading her kitchen. She could have run out to the drug store and brought home loads of poisonous little ant hotels. Instead, she gave her imagination the go-ahead to brainstorm. Soon she’d come up with a solution. She scooped up a host of ants and threw them in a blender with the other ingredients of her smoothie, then drank it all down. The next day, all the ants had departed, as if scared off by the Great Devourer. I suggest you learn from her example, both in the sense of being open to outlandish possibilities and in the sense of finding alternate ways to deal with adversaries.

Solution in Classifieds.

Across

1 Rubbish 4 Rockin’ out 10 Plant with fronds 14 “All Things Considered” reporter Shapiro 15 European rocket series 16 One of the deadly sins 17 More formal version of an ear-related prank?

19 All tied up 20 City in Spain’s Basque Country 21 Chuck who told viewers he’d “be back in two and two” 23 “Let’s Make ___” 24 It may start to show 26 Leather punching tool 27 Like, totally awesome 28 Small farm size 30 Obvious winner 33 Chest-related prank with a more posh color option?

35 Painter Chagall 38 “___ hesitates is lost” 39 Actress Ward 40 Dignified version of a punch-to-the-leg prank?

43 Head female 44 Fortune teller’s opener 45 Way to look at things, for short 48 Playboy boss 49 Ending for general or marginal 50 Dog the Bounty Hunter’s real first name 52 Early ___ (technology fan, often) 55 Day for egg rolls 56 Hit by The Kinks 57 Version of a punching prank for a more refined palate?

60 “The ___ Love” (R.E.M. song) 61 “A life,” to Lemaitre 62 Be delinquent 63 Georgia used to be part of it 64 One of Mars’ moons 65 Horror legend Chaney

Down

1 Restaurant with shellfish 2 Food company named for two states 3 Called 4 Fast-moving ball game 5 “Alice’s Restaurant” singer Guthrie 6 Dot follower, in some e-mail addresses 7 ___ tai 8 Wonderstruck 9 Fish in a Pixar pic 10 Fail to get any better 11 It gets opened before some speeches 12 Winnebago occupant 13 City far from L.A., CA 18 Ringside org.

22 Pearl City’s island 24 Where Van Gogh painted 25 “Shucks” 29 “I’m Your Man” subject Leonard 30 Make some noise in bed 31 Out of commission 32 Federal performance funder, for short 33 Correspondence course for fix-it types, once 34 Items pointed to from afar 35 1900, way before 1900?

36 “Now I get it!”

37 Where rodents enter walls 41 Room at the top?

42 Puts under 45 Walk a beat 46 Combo punch 47 Actor/dancer/singer Ben 49 Title role for Renee Zellweger 51 Org. that puts on shows for the military 52 Multigenerational baseball surname 53 Oxford heads 54 Former Israeli prime minister Olmert 55 Italian basso Pinza 58 Camping gear co.

59 “I really appreciate that,” while texting

the217.com may 13 - 19, 2010

Excuse my textual tomfoolery.

AND ANOTHER THING ...

by MICHAEL COULTER

knowing what to say Dissecting workplace verbal faux pas I say the wrong thing on a pretty regular basis. It’s often exactly the right thing to say if I intend to be a complete rat bastard, but usually I don’t. I’ll call people by the wrong name, ask about the wife after a divorce and just generally offend others with my best intentions. That’s the personal life, though, and I have simply decided that I’m going to say something improper on a semi-regular basis. The thing is, I never really think about that sort of thing at work. I feel like I’m focusing on being on my best behavior when I’m there, but I could still be saying the wrong thing. Apparently, there are a few things people are never supposed to say at work. I’m sure I’m guilty of a few of these, and I bet you are, too.

These aren’t necessarily embarrassing things to say, or even social missteps. They are more things that might make a person seem like he’s not the best employee in the world. Fortunately,

ten. I don’t know everything, and I’m well aware of it, but this still doesn’t keep me from acting that way sometimes. Just because you want to know everything doesn’t mean you do. Plus, you can seem like a little bit of a jerk.

“I’ll get back to you” is another little word package that isn’t good. I don’t do this often, but I hear it sometimes. It doesn’t bother me all that much. The key to saying this is actually getting back to the person. If they get back to me, I just think, “Hey, they said they’d get back with me, and they did. Cool.” If he or she doesn’t get back to me, then it annoys the piss out of me. Hell, at least he could get back to me just to point out he has no intention of getting back to me. It’s not cool to leave a fella hanging like that.

Saying “yes, but” is also not a special way to endear yourself to people at work. It means you don’t really want to solve the problems; you only want to put them on the back burner. I’m not sure I really hear that one much in my life, which is actually a pretty good indication that things are going well. The same thing We’ll see if we can get you that bike goes with “if.” “If ‘so-and-so’ finishes his part, then I’ll do my part.” Even for your birthday. We’ll see if we can though it may be true, it’s probably helpful to just assume your coget ice cream after the game. “We’ll more worker will finish, even if you’re kinda see” means “I’m blowing smoke up sure he really won’t.

My favorite on the list is “I guess.” It’s your ass until you eventually give up usually something along the lines of, “I guess we could stick that fork in the on this particular request.” light socket if you think it will work.” “I Forbes.com put out a list of these things. Let’s guess” is one of those things that is probably utget started, and that way we may be able to tered before 80 percent of the fatal accidents in make significant changes to ourselves — or at the workplace. If you’re just guessing than you least be aware that we’re sort of dickheads. aren’t really doing your job. Geez Louise, anyThe first thing not to say is “whatever.” I’m the one could grab a random person off the street freaking king of saying that word, so I’m very and he or she could guess. A simpleton can curious to see how bad it actually is. I would guess and nobody wants to have a simpleton expect it to be pretty bad, since it’s first on working for them. Sure, guessing isn’t hard but the list. It turns out I’m sort of correct. Forbes it isn’t very effective either. says it is a word used to dismiss someone or The last phrase is “We’ll see.” I have never his ideas as quickly as possible. Oh, see, that’s cared for this phrase, whether at work or in exactly what I use it for! Oh, wait, that’s a bad regular life. We’ll see if we can get you that bike thing. Forbes says it’s a verbal slap in the face. for your birthday. We’ll see if we can get ice That seems a little extreme, but whatever. Oh, see, cream after the game. “We’ll see” means “I’m I did it again. Now that I think about it, I use the blowing smoke up your ass until you eventually word far less at work and far more in my personal give up on this particular request.” It should be life. It seems to me I use it more to communicate banned from all facets of life. that I’m sort of screwed and will just have to deal It turns out I don’t use these bad words as with the situation. Either way, whatever. much as I thought. Oh, I use plenty of bad The next thing is saying “maybe” or “I don’t words, just not the ones on the list. And even know.” This makes people seem wishy-washy then, I usually just say them to myself. The thing and unsure of themselves. I don’t do this all that is, most people likely don’t even know they’re much. In fact, I’m far more likely to err on the using these words and phrases, so it’s probably other end of the spectrum. I generally think I a good idea to point it out to them. They may know everything, and I’m often far too excited still keep saying them, but at least they’ll know to share this knowledge with anyone who’ll lis- you’re on to them.

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