Buzz Magazine: May 17, 2007

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05 | 17 | 07 . 05 | 23 | 07 s o u n d s f r o m t h e s c e n e FREE

w e e k l y

champaign . urbana

qh/!21!

THE LIFE OF AN OAKLAND NOODLE

THE RETURN OF THE JAM BAND

THE JOY OF SELF-LOVE

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buzz weekly

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BUZZ STAFF volume

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no.19

Cover Design • Nikita Sorokin Editor in Chief • Tatyana Safronova Art Director • Nikita Sorokin Copy Chief • Meghan Whalen Listen, Hear • Caitlin Cremer Stage, Screen & in Between • Keri Carpenter Around Town •Stephanie Prather CU Calendar • Annette Gonzalez Photography Editor • Amelia Moore Designer • Maria Surawska Calendar Coordinators • Caitlin Cremer, Bonnie Steirnberg Photography • Amelia Moore Copy Editor • Whitney Harris Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Mike Ingram, Brian McGovern, Kim Rice, Ross Wantland Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ

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Turn it up!

102 S Neil Champaign INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | THE HOOPLA | STAGE, S CREEN &

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on the web: www.readbuzz.com e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com write: 512 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. Buzz magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. Š Illini Media Company 2007

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UNDER THE COVER |1-3| 3 3 3 |4-5| 4 |6-9| 6 7 8 9 | 10 - 11 | 10 | 12 - 13 | 12 13

INTRO This Modern World Life in Hell First Things First

AROUND TOWN Life of an Oakland Noodle

LISTEN, HEAR Tea Leaf Green:The Earl of Jam Bands CU Sound Revue A Quickie With Casados Spin it/Flip it/Reverse it

THE HOOPLA Take it from a college kid / Prom horror stories

STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN Troilus and Cressida review Movie reviews

| 14 - 15 |

CLASSIFIEDS

| 16 - 17 |

THE STINGER

16 16 17 20 | 18 - 19 |

Doin’ it Well Jonesin’ Crosswords Free Will Astrology Likes and Gripes

CU CALENDAR

Amelia Moore GUEST EDITOR’S NOTE I am writing this week — Tatyana’s off because her prom horror story’s lame. It all started in the basement with a pickle and a light socket. Pickles are conductive. My date and I were hanging out before prom at a friend’s house and bet him that he’d get shocked if he shoved his Vlassic pickle into an exposed socket. We weren’t the well-behaved type. The night started off with a bang as my dear friend sacrif iced himself for the group and sent his body rocketing across the room thrust by pure, burning electricity. It set a precedent for us all. Then I went home and changed into one of those ridiculous, I-could-be-hiding-a-small-army-undermy-skirt prom dresses that we all adore so much. My friends were quadruplets and they had this big police wagon-sized van that we rode to prom. The fun part about this van was the alarm, which sounded like a police siren. We used this alarm to pull other cars over in traffic. Our driver would pull up right behind a car and set off the alarm. After that it was a matter of seconds before the driver of the other car would pull over, and we’d fly by at 60 mph on a mission from God. So we played that game, and indulged in the vices our lifestyles supported, all the way to the dance. Upon arriving, we were surprised to find a welcome committee of: three deans, four police counselors, six supervising douche-bag teachers and the principal, Fritz Wildermuth. They required all students to shake hands with every tool in the row before entering the event. We reeked and stumbled and probably mumbled, but somehow we all made it inside. We were only there for about 45 minutes before we realized that it was either pull the fire alarm or slit our wrists with spiked heels. You see, students weren’t allowed to leave once they had entered the dance. It was a great system. So, we pulled the alarm and escaped with the other 600 sheep, trekking outside. The quadruplet’s older sister had given us bills, bills, bills to spend on a camping trip we had planned

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to take that night, but instead we found ourselves at the sleaziest motel in town renting out four rooms at $30 a pop. Then we went fucking mad. The poor quality of our surroundings in no way encouraged model behavior. Within the hour we had a $300 pot with a $10 buy-in in room 315, an acid and art room in 316, sword-fighting with ripped off towel racks in 317 and the underclassmen orgy in room 319. The people in 318 decided to invite the police. When the blue suits showed up to 317, we had a threepiece electric band playing for two boys in tuxedos, who were sword-fighting with broken fragments of the room on a running “magic fingers� bed. We also had a professional assortment of recreational vices on the table that could fuel rockets to the moon. I was in the bathroom having a shaving cream party when the music cut out. An emergency maneuver curtained our small army of vices with hula-hoop skirts and an intense Mexican standoff held the floor until some squealy kid fessed up about being 15 and wanting to go home. The cops brought in the manager and he wound up needing to get paid off for the damages. Other than the kids violating a 16 and under curfew, no one got recruited as cage dancers for the night. Instead, we walked home, three miles, in formal wear. It was great. Fifteen of us jumped fences and scoured a golf course/backyard short-cut across town. We went swimming in some strangers’ pool, and jumped on other people’s trampolines. At the end of it all, I got a goodnight dip and kiss on the catwalk over the railroad tracks, before climbing a tree onto my roof. I had to wake my little brother up with a few taps on the glass to get in, and I can just imagine the sight my stupid hula-hoop skirt must have made crawling in through the second story window as the sun rose on Sunday, like a garbage bag getting sucked into a storm ditch after the clouds have parted. Flawless. sounds from the scene

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KIDS ARE STARVING IN CHINA AND YOU’RE WALKING AROUND WITH A SOMBRERO FULL OF PEANUNTS.

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michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

THE ART OF GRILLING

...which I have yet to perfect I’m going to go out on a limb and make a bold prediction. The cold weather is finally over. I realize it’s a pretty safe bet, considering we’re half way through May at this juncture, but I thought I would have been safe saying it in early April and that wasn’t really the case. Either way, we can now begin to enjoy all the things that summer brings: less traffic, more lemonade, sunburns, swimming and all those other warm weather sorts of things. I dig all of them to one degree or another, but there’s something about cooking on a grill that trumps them all. Let me be the first to say I’m not especially sure I’m great at it. It’s easy to enjoy something and still not be particularly good at it. Afterall, one look at American Idol will tell you that. I do though, think I’m somewhat competent when it comes to meat and open flames. I mean, it’s pretty much just like cooking inside except it tastes better and for some reason I feel compelled to drink beer while I do it. If nothing else, I really want to be good at it. I try to do my homework in the off-season. I’ll stop on the Food Network here and there and hope to pick up some grilling tips. It doesn’t always translate, however. I was watching last winter and they had a guy in a pressed white apron on the beach gently grilling fish until they were cooked to perfection while new age music twinkled in the background. This past Sunday, I was shirtless on my balcony grilling hamburgers until most of the blood was out of them while Conway Twitty played from a boom box. You can see how it’s really just two different philosophies. Also, the guy on the Food Network didn’t appear to be drinking large quantities of bourbon. Whatever, I enjoyed eating them either way. In all fairness though, I would have enjoyed eating a skunk’s ass at that point because I was pretty hungry and also somewhat intoxicated. The thing is, yeah, the food tastes great, but that’s not really even the point of the experience. It’s weird, but the process is actually more enjoyable than the payout, sort of like gambling for some folks I know. I’d probably cook it whether or not I ever got to take a bite of it … that may not be 100 percent true, but you get the idea. It’s something almost primal that makes cooking over a f ire appeal to me. Maybe it’s just another way to flip off convention. “Hey, check it out, Illinois Power. I don’t need your

freaking overpriced gas and electricity. I can cook just fine on my own … Well, OK, actually I do sort of need them in the winter time, but in the summer, you can kiss my ass.” It’s not totally primal because I buy my meat at the store, but that’s really just out of convenience. I’d be more than happy to drop an antelope and cook him up if one happened to be walking down White Street. The opportunity just seldom comes up. I could maybe shoot and butcher a cat, but I hear they’re sort of stringy. Actually, I suppose I could grill and not even use meat. I don’t normally adhere to such a philosophy, but my friend Sue makes pizzas on the grill and even though there’s not meat on them, they taste pretty damned good. That’s the exception to the rule though. I would guess it’s just much easier to cook meat. It especially rocks when there are several “chefs” standing around and adding their two cents while you’re grilling. “Is your fire getting a little hot there? You gonna flip those hot dogs?” If they have nothing to criticize, then they will simply talk about the meat. “Those are some good looking chops, my friend. Where’d you pick those up at?” If the conversation lulls, they can always fall back on the standard request. “Why don’t you saw off a piece of that brisket and let me see how it’s coming along.” It’s funny how much I end up talking about grilling with other people in the summer time, about new ideas for a marinade or different kinds of wood chips to use. Some folks really take it seriously. My friend Neighbor, for example, has all sorts of grilling apparatuses to cook his meat with, sort of the S & M sect of the grilling community. You might think he was going overboard, but let me tell you, take on bite out of anything he’s cooked up and you can’t deny it’s worth the effort. I think my dad still keeps the rub recipe Neighbor gave him in his safety deposit box. When it’s all said and done, it may not be the process, or the drinking, or the eating. It may just be the allure of standing outside for a while. Around these parts, we’re shut in for six or so months in a row, so when the mercury finally passes 70, letting a warm breeze hit you in the face on a summer afternoon seems better than just about anything in the world. That warm breeze alone would probably be enough to keep most of us happy. It’s just that the breeze smells a little better when it’s got a little smoke and grease mixed in with it.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

sounds from the scene

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | THE HOOPLA | STAGE, S CREEN &

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around town

LIFE OF AN OAKLAND NOODLE Not your average cup of soup ERIN RENZAS • STAFF WRITER | PHOTOS BY AMELIA MOORE

TOP: Happy Ethington, who created the original recipe for Oakland Noodle Company’s noodles, inspects and rolls sheets of dough through a press before they are cut into noodles Tuesday morning in Oakland, Ill. RIGHT: Mary Ethington, who is married to Happy, the noodle recipe writer, separates the noodles to prevent clumping in the finished product. “We’ve made 800 lbs. of noodles this morning,” said Ethington.

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appy Ethington bends down and slides a metal tray of dried noodles from the tarnished silver baker’s bun rack. His movement as he reaches for the lowest of the rack is slow and deliberate.

6:10 a.m.: The Oakland Noodle Company of Oakland, Ill. is beginning its day, starting with the bagging of yesterday’s noodles. The noodles have been drying for 18 hours. Pale thin yellow strips overlap one another. Happy pushes the tray forward and then snaps it back with his wrists, hurling the noodles in to the metal-lined wooden frame sitting at the edge of a large white table. Flour coats everything, it feels gritty on the hands and forms tender pills as it mixes with the moisture in the skin. Happy — a man of a quick wit and a perpetual layer of flour encrusting his worn leather loafers — first made the noodles in 1981 when the noodle factory was still the Oakland Bakery. Happy learned to bake when he was a young boy. His maternal grandmother, Anna Mae Gibson, made bread daily. When she became ill one day, she sent 14-year-old Happy down to the grocery store, down the street for a loaf of white bread. “I had some and I thought, if I have to eat this for the rest of my life, I am going to commit suicide,” Happy remembers. INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | THE HOOPLA | STAGE, S CREEN &

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Happy asked his grandmother to let him bake the bread. She did, pulling a chair into the kitchen, instructing him on what to do. Anna Mae didn’t use a recipe. She knew what the water and yeast and flour should look and feel like; she could feel when the dough had been kneaded enough — still tender, but with enough elasticity to make the bread rise. “Once I got the flour in my finger nails, I didn’t want to get it out,” Happy remembers. He got his first job in a bakery when he was 16 and met his wife Mary there when she began working as a clerk. Happy and Mary moved to Oakland after purchasing the Oakland Bakery in 1979. It was converted to a full-time noodle factory in 1993. “80 percent of our profits were from the noodles and it was a lot less work,” Happy says. The noodle recipe is a traditional egg noodle with just a few minor changes: flour, salt, powdered milk and eggs and just a touch more gluten. “They’re just like Grandma’s. No noodle is the same,” declares Mary. The noodles are thick and plump — not too gummy — and subtle in flavor when cooked in chicken stock, just the way she likes them. B ETWEEN | CLASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER | CU CALENDAR

6:25 a.m.: Todd Ethington, Happy’s son, propels a large scoop into the noodles and deposits noodles into each of the two white buckets atop matching balances. Todd purchased the noodle company from Happy two years ago. “I always liked working alongside with Dad. I knew I didn’t want an office job,” Todd says. “I went to school for about a semester to be an accountant, but I just can’t sit there.” Todd is quiet and focused while at the factory. He wants to double production in three years; he’s working on doing more online sales and made contact with a few more distributors. Down the table from Todd, Mary and Todd’s ex-wife, Stephanie Ethington, funnel the noodles into plastic bags. The family will bag 800 pounds of noodles today. The first year they made the noodles, they sold 18 tons. This year they will sell around 67 tons. “I would like to see 100 tons in a year, with the expansions I am working on now and some of the newer stuff, you know, it’s possible in three years,” Todd says. The company sells noodles to stores around Oakland. “I think I am satisf ied,” Todd says. “If you ask me if I had continued college and become an accountant, I’m probably happier now.” sounds from the scene

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MORE EATING LESS PRANCING.

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Kim Humes, an employee of the Oakland Noodle Company, places trays of freshly cut and floured noodles on cooling racks where they will dry for 18 hours before being packaged.

Mary and Stephanie pass the bags to Robert Luy, who staples the bags closed. Robert, now in his mid-40s, is a close family friend, who has worked at the bakery and noodle factory for 18 years. “I came in one day and they could never get rid of me after that,” he says. “I don’t know, I guess I just love the people. I have never found anything I liked better.” Robert hands the bags of noodles to Stephanie’s mother, Ramona Kuykendall, who boxes the bags. “They never bless me when I sneeze,” Robert notes. “They know I’m already doomed. No, I am just kidding. I am full of it, just a little bit right?” Robert turns to Ramona with his thumb and index fi nger two inches apart indicating just how full of it he his. Ramona shakes her head and holds her two hands a foot apart. 6:45 a.m.: Todd works intensely, scooping the noodles into the buckets with vigor. Flip, crash, scoop, dump, staple, pack, f lip, crash, scoop, dump, staple, pack … “If I could see the Green Bay Packers and the Illini football team at home, I could die a happy man. I bet we could go up to Chicago. You know, see them beat the Bears — sorry, Todd,” Robert says turning to Todd. Todd is a Bears fan, while Happy and Robert are Packers fans. “Oh yeah? What place did the Packers come in last season?” Todd asks Robert. “Second,” Robert pauses. “To last.”

sounds from the scene

8 a.m.: “Is that it? Well thank God. I am going to be sick tomorrow,” Mary jokes. “Yeah, me too,” Stephanie says. “We forgot one more rack, Mom,” teases Todd. Happy scurries past the fan stands — wooden frames holding 9 or 12 square fans — used to dry the noodles. Up front, the mixer churns a 40-pound batch of dough, the first of 10. 8:15 a.m.: It’s time to make the noodles. Todd cuts the batch into 20 two-pound rounds and heaves them into the air. They land with a thud on the rolling machine. Happy kneads the dough once and feeds it into the rolling machine. Stephanie piles the pieces of dough into stacks of seven, quickly sweeping a handful of flour between each layer. Happy feeds each piece of dough through the rolling machine four times, adjusting the bottom pin with a dial between each pass to squeeze the dough thinner and thinner. Stephanie folds the stacks in half before heaving the stacks back to Happy. She whips the back end of the dough over the front as it streams out of the rolling machine. The tender dough moves in waves like a cape of a troubadour. By the fourth pass the dough is four feet long by 15 inches wide. She folds each piece in thirds vertically, then horizontally and slides the roll to Robert. Robert runs a metal dough slicer down the length of each piece of dough, through the layers, separates the noodles and slides the piles to Mary and Ramona. “Have you ever eaten at the Courier Café in

Urbana?” Mary probes. “Those are our noodles and then Jerry’s IGA , and Round Barn and then there is a new meat store, Meats Plus, and they have our noodles there.” Mary and Ramona spread the noodles onto each screen, carefully ensuring the noodles are evenly distributed to allow for drying, and then slide the screens onto the baker’s racks. Mary’s eyelashes are white with flour. “We don’t want to get so big that everything is done with machines,” Todd says. “I think it would put us out of business. If our noodles were cut by machine — everything was the same width— I think we would lose half our business.” It’s that varying width and texture that give the Oakland noodles their distinct homemade feel, Todd contends. The family repeats the process with 10 batches, 200 sheets of dough. 10:45 a.m.: Ramona slides the last noodles on to the last rack. The noodle factory isn’t big enough to require a full day of production yet. That will change if the company reaches Todd’s 100 tons-a-year goal, but the Oakland Noodle Company’s day has come to its end. “For now, this makes sense,” Todd says. “We’re happy with what we have. You always want more, but this works for now.”

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listen, hear

TEA LEAF GREEN

The Earl of Jam Bands STEVE PLOCK • STAFF WRITER

PHOTO BY ERIC LUSE COURTESY OF WWW.MADISONHOUSEPUBLICITY.COM

T

o the casual listener, a band such as Tea Leaf Green might be brushed aside, labeled as another generic “jam band” riding the wave of improvisational rock started by the Grateful Dead in the ’60s. In actuality, Tea Leaf Green has become a beacon of hope for the jam scene. Except for bands like moe. and Umphrey’s McGee, the latter whom has been working to establish themselves as a staple of the scene for the past 15 years, the jam band genre was left without a defi nitive leader. Thankfully, young bands like Tea Leaf Green have come along and instilled a new life in the music, and by looking to past, they have begun to build a better musical future. Rooted in the San Francisco area, Tea Leaf Green got their start on the same streets and stages as their predecessors, but when it comes to getting a break, location isn’t everything. “The Dead scene is kind of past and gone, all those folks are older and they don’t like to go out at midnight when the shows are starting,” explained Trevor Garrod, keyboardist and vocalist for Tea Leaf Green. “[Getting started in San Francisco] didn’t give us a head start, but it did give us some mileage,” Garrod said. While the Bay Area music scene was stagnant with ’80s cover bands and indie rock bands, Tea Leaf Green decided to start their Americana jam-rock regardless of what the scene was like. Looking to artists such as the Allman Brothers Band, Tea Leaf Green began making music that had not been in the San Francisco area for quite some time. After releasing three studio albums, the band fi nally started INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, H EAR | THE HOOPLA | STAGE, S CREEN &

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making their own waves with the release of their fourth studio album, Taught to be Proud, in 2005, the title track of which won the Jammy award for Song of the Year. At this point Tea Leaf Green was beginning to get noticed by other artists. They spent the fall and winter of 2005 on the road supporting such acts as Dave Matthews Band and Trey Anastasio. Given the opportunity to spend time with such great artists, the band worked its hardest to impress audiences and become better musicians. “It puts some fi re under you; you can become complacent pretty easy,” admits Garrod. “When you are measured up against these other people, you have to step it up. The old shit just ain’t good enough.” In 2006, the band continued to make continual leaps and strides with their music. Aside from their continual touring, the band frequented many music festivals over the summer including Summer Camp Music Festival, Wakarusa, the 10,000 Lakes Festival and the Allgood Music Festival. Tea Leaf Green also released a live DVD/CD last October, documenting not only their exciting live shows, but also the band’s life on the road. Directed by Justin Kreutzmann, son of Grateful Dead drummer Bill Kreutzmann, the two discs capture the improvisational skills of the band and the ability to write cohesive songs. The live DVD/CD also brought a lot of stress. Outside of the studio, the band was pressured to perform at their best. “It was terrible, I freaked out. It’s like, ‘Oh my God, there is B ETWEEN | CLASSIFIEDS | THE STINGER | CU CALENDAR

so much riding on this one show,’” Garrod said. “It was difficult for me, to feel like I had all my eggs in one basket. I had to keep myself calm and reserved.” If there were a cause for stress in the band, it would be focused on the follow up album Taught to be Proud. While there is no plan to return to the studio this year, the band has been writing new songs and incorporating them into the live repertoire. With the song “Taught to be Proud” receiving such acclaim, there is a defi nite pressure to live up to that standard. “You can psych yourself out for songs pretty easily,” explained Garrod. “I’ve got all kinds of melodies and tunes, but you don’t want to ruin a good song with a stupid lyric.” With a new album not in the works for at least a year, the band is currently focusing on their upcoming summer. With the festival season upon us, Tea Leaf Green will once again be performing at Summer Camp Music Festival and Bonnaroo. With no shortage of shows during the rest of this year, the band will remain busy up until their first venture across the ocean, where they will be along side Umphrey’s McGee in Amsterdam. “We are excited to see how other cultures will take us, because so far we’ve only played for American audiences,” said Garrod. “I’m seeing 2008 as the year we get out of the States.” Having come along way in the past two years, Tea Leaf Green have made a name for themselves and have also reestablished hope in the jam band scene. While the wave made by the Grateful Dead and Phish may be dying out, there will be another one right behind it waiting to crash on a sea of unsuspecting listeners. sounds from the scene

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“I AM THE POODLEMAN WITH THE CLASS-FIVE SFLB”

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CU SOUND REVUE MIKE INGRAM

i]j BVn &,

Local music columnist phones in another one A second benef it for t he f a m i ly of Pau l Ma r t i n ha s been scheduled for Friday, May 25. Paul was a huge supporter of music in general, but especially of local mu s ic . You we r e almost guaranteed to see him and his wife Tara at any local show you attended, usually with a Rolling Rock in his hand and a smile on his face. Sadly, Paul passed away in January. Local musicians came together almost immediately following his passing to play a show to benefit the education fund set up for the three children under 18 he left behind. For those who missed that show, or those who want to give a little more, a second show featuring some new faces will take place at either the Highdive or Cowboy Monkey (more info next week). Cameron McGill will make his f irst appearance in CU in months for the show, and Erin Fein and Tristan Wraight (of Headlights) will do a special acoustic set. Several other bands are trying to arrange their schedules, and a full lineup will be available soon. Updates will be added to the show’s listing at openingbands.com as they happen. This week is kicked off by Live Karaoke Band at Cowboy Monkey. If you’ve somehow missed al l the action, the band (featur ing members of the Brat Pack and X-Krush) has a huge list of songs that you can pick from and perform onstage, backed by real musicians. No teleprompters and no lame karaoke guy telling bad jokes. Make sure to get there early to get yourself signed up! If you want to make sure that the band will let you sing several times, make sure to wear clothing representing both the Packers and Superman — and having a mohawk wouldn’t hurt. 10 p.m., $5. Chicago country-rocker Robbie Fulks will make the trek down to Champaign on Friday to

play the Highdive. The singer/songwriter will be bringing along copies of his new double-disc live album, half of which was recorded right here in Champaign at a previous Highdive date. This year’s Local Music Award winner for Best Folk/ Americana Band, elsinore, will open the show. Next week the band will head up to the Chicago studio of Anthony Gravino (Temple of Low Men) to record a new EP with Anthony and Adam Schmitt. You can catch some of the EP songs live at the Highdive show, which starts at 9 p.m. Tickets are $10 in advance and $12 at the door. Elsinore lead singer Ryan Groff has also recently delivered a new CD to Parasol Records, which will release the album (People in the Midwest) on June 14. More info soon. Elsewhere on Friday night, Kilborn Alley (another LMA winner), will play all night at the Iron Post (9 p.m., $4) while the salsa craze continues at Cowboy Monkey with Screaming Salsa (a live salsa band) at 10 p.m. Salsa, salsa, salsa. Adam Wolfe (Tritone, the Jammies) is singlehandedly keeping things rocking at Potbelly Sandwich Works on campus. With noon-time shows on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, the man who dons a cape to shred with metal band Tritone tones it down to a pleasant acoustic level to melt the faces of college kids looking for a sandwich or shake. And sure, that raised platform that performers are expected to play on may look unstable, but that just adds to the ambiance. Go in and see for yourself. It’s free. Saturday night once again proves that there is just too much good music being made in this area, as several good shows are scheduled (including two CD release shows). The Canopy Club will host two shows for the evening, with an early Monte Montgomery show at 6 p.m. followed by a 10 p.m. show featuring Casados, fresh from a marathon tour of the nation. Monte Montgomer y has been well-received in his several shows at the Canopy Club over the years, all of which included his lengthy cover of the Dire Straits tune “Romeo & Juliet,” I believe.

If not, it was close. You’d better believe that Casados will have plenty of copies of the new EP Passages at their show, unless they sold them all on tour, in which case I’ve been no help at all. No surprise there, really. Sharing the stage with Casados for the late show will be A Light Sleeper, The Dowry, Dan Beahm and Kang Drum. Cover is $7. Expect lots of politeness towards the sound guy. Another venue pulling double-duty for the night is the Iron Post, which will host a 6 p.m. show with Big Grove Zydeco, along with the 9 p.m. Lucky Mulholland CD release show. Formerly a solo project from singer/songwriter/ Larry-Gates-sympathizer Brian Phelps, the L.M. (think the O.C.) is now an action-packed quintet! The new EP, titled La Petite Rendezvous, is the first release featuring the new lineup. The show will also feature local songstress Megan Johns, Indiana band Sprickets and DJ LEGTWO. Cover is $5. Local electronic/rock band i:Scintilla have also picked Saturday to release their new album, a 12-track effort titled Optics. The album is being release by Europen label Alfa Matrix, and is also being released in a limited edition package featuring a second disc with remixes of the album songs, along with a sticker, postcards and a poster. The quartet has been hard at work on the record, which features production work from Wade Alin, and will head to Germany following the release of the new disc to play a big show. The Saturday show will likely sell out the Cowboy Monkey, so get there early and get a good spot. Openers: Cruciform Injection, Relenter. Cover: $5. Time: 10 p.m. Check out myspace.com/iscintilla for more info. Captured! By Robots is finally making another stop in town this week, with a show at the Highdive on Tuesday. More info at thehighdive.com. Retraction! Sort of ! Snowsera now has a drummer.

LIVE KARAOKE BAND

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SCREAMING SALSA 10:00 pm *live local salsa band*

hVi BVn &.

S U N D AY S

SALSA W/BRIS M O N D AY S

W E D N E S D AY S

Xdb^c\ hddc

Mike Ingram can be reached at forgottenwords@gmail.com.

COMEDIAN JARROD HARRIS Cameron Mcgill BROTHER EMBASSY

DEATH SHIPS

HIT IT RUN PARTY

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buzz weekly

“CUT ON THE TOP AND SIDES, LONG IN THE BACK”

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MADISON HOUSE PRESENTS

A QUICKIE WITH ...

IN ASSOCIATION WITH PEAK EXPERIENCE PRODUCTIONS

THREE NIGHTS WITH

PERFORMANCES BY

THE ROOTS • LOS LOBOS YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND THE GREYBOY ALLSTARS • THE WAILERS INFECTED MUSHROOM • DEL McCOURY BAND

JJ GREY & MOFRO • PRESERVATION HALL JAZZ BAND VUSI MAHLASEL A • BASSNECTAR • DAVI D LI NDLE Y DREW EMMITT BAND • BUCKWHEAT ZYDECO • EOTO CHRIS BERRY & PANJEA • JONAH SMITH • THE SCHWAG PLUS LATE NIGHT SHOWS AND MORE ARTISTS TO BE ANNOUNCED

MUSIC • PERMORMANCE ART CAMPING • WORKSHOPS

PHOTO COURTESY OF MYSPACE.COM/CASADOSMUSIC

Casados

STANTON MCCONNELL • STAFF WRITER

I took some time to catch up with Nic from Casados, consisting of the soft-spoken spouses Nic and Heather Dillon, who are currently serenading the nation with their Latin-tinged acoustic folk. Casados (or “married”in Spanish) is currently promoting their Passages EP and are slated to play the Canopy Club on May 19 for their guitar and harmonium’s homecoming.

buzz: What have been the highlights of this tour? Nic Dillon: Our tour dog, who makes the traveling a lot easier, the beautiful stretch of land on Highway 1 between San Francisco and Los Angeles, and the shows.

BIRD EARLYTS ARE TICKE OUT

buzz: Any lowlights?

SOLD

ND: We just found out that my bike was stolen from our front porch. Boo.

buzz: Since your marriage in 2003, has your songwriting changed significantly? ND: I think my songwriting has matured, but the change has been gradual. Marriage has probably helped my writing overall, but no more than any other significant life experience. Nevertheless, I will say that if my wife wasn’t who she is, I probably wouldn’t be playing music or writing like I am right now. Heather definitely pushes me to do more creatively and invest a lot of energy into that.

buzz: What is your favorite aspect of musical creation: the songwriting, recording or performance? ND: I love and hate them all equally. Each is a burden and a passion.

buzz: What can Champaign-Urbana expect from your upcoming show at the Canopy Club? ND: Good times.

AUGUST 3, 4, 5, 2007 CAMP ZOE • SALEM, MO COMPLETE TICKETING AND FESTIVAL INFO AVAILABLE AT

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SPIN IT ROUND FLIP IT & REVERSE IT

WHY IS HE HOT?

Ringtones, logic-based reasoning and the Mims Theorem BRIAN MCGOVERN

• STAFF WRITER

The Arctic Monkeys a re st r a i g ht for wa rd fel low s. W hatever people say they are, that’s what they’re not, a s thei r a lbu m t it le indicates. A lthough, since that’s the case, they aren’t straightforward because I just said they were ... meaning they’re not. But if I just said that, then that means the first statement must be true? Well, regardless of the infinite regression triggered by the band’s debut record, a more interesting piece of Monkey philosophy is the topic of discussion. On standout track “A Certain Romance,” the band sings: “There’s only music so that there’s new ringtones.” A great message against capitalistic promotion coming from one of the most overhyped bands ever, this line does hold a lot of truth. “This Is Why I’m Hot” by Mims is not only the newest addition to a long list chronicling the follies of humanity, but is also the first song I heard in ringtone form prior to hearing the song version. During a commercial break on MTV, I was aggressively told to text a four digit number to receive the hit ringtone on my cell phone. “Is this really a song?” I asked listening to the repeating mantra. As the days went by, I received startlingly affirmative response as I began to hear this ringtone’s full-length version everywhere. Let’s take a look at the hook: This is why I’m hot This is why I’m hot This is why, this is why I’m hot. Woo! (repeat) Taking the crown for worst chorus ever (previously held by any song Fergie appears on), the song seems to be making an argument of sorts. Enigmatic at first glance, but the master lyricist then goes on to explain himself: I’m hot cause I’m fly You ain’t cause you’re not Like any arg ument, Mims seems to be

formulating this statement with the fundamentals of logic and reason. A logical argument must have two things: premises and a conclusion drawn from the premises. So when taking what will be called the “Mims Theorem,” we have: Premises: Mims is fly. All fly things are hot. Conclusion: Mims is f ly, therefore he is also hot. By definition, the argument in its simplest form is certainly a sound one. The second premise however, the claim that all fly things are fundamentally hot, is not necessarily true. It is this ineffective argument that makes the song problematic. It can be proven that Mims is by definition “fly.” From contextual evidence such as the line “They like the way I dress/They like my attire,” it can be assumed that he is sufficiently fashionably cool, the common definition of “fly.” Within the context of the song, and in general, there is no backing evidence that flyness dictates hotness. Style and coolness certainly appear alongside general attractiveness, but the two characteristics are not necessarily directly correlated. When looking at the argument outside the context of the song, what’s more problematic is Mims’ reliance on a priori beliefs. Removing the bias backup evidence that people like his style of dress, there is no strong support for the assertion of being fly, and therefore the hot quality Mims boasts of can only exist if it is assumed to be inherently true. The Mims Theorem, despite the validity of the argument, cannot be proven true. Most troubling of all, however, is Mims’ lack of concern in regards to his integrity. “I don’t gotta rap, I can sell a mill saying nothing on the track,” he says arrogantly. This pompous attitude reflects poorly not only on pop music, but sets a dangerous trend of disregarding the entire academic process. More than just a horrible song, “This Is Why I’m Hot” represents a danger that threatens to tear apart the logic-stitched seams of society ... and that’s not hot at all.

      

   

         

 

 

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the

What Happens on Prom Night Stays...As a Guaranteed Ingredient For Blackmail

hoopla

Take It From A College Kid

MATT HOFFMAN • STAFF WRITER

For me, high school prom was boring and uneventful. Thankfully, plenty of my friends provided stories of horror to entertain all. The night of my prom, we went to our friend’s house afterward to drink and hang out (his parents were “cool”). My buddy passed out in the master bathtub, puked all over his rented tux and was found the next morning by the man of the house as he readied for work. Another friend, frustrated by his date’s refusal of sex, went home and put on late-night Cinemax. He was found the next morning by his mom, passed out on the couch naked from the waist down, with a box of tissues in his lap. Another friend was looking forward to losing her virginity to her boyfriend the night of the prom. He was very obviously excited about the prospect, so booked a super classy room at the Sybaris. She lied to her mom and said she was staying at her friend’s. Ultimately, she got cold feet when he fell asleep before the deed could be done. Yet another friend planned ahead to get wasted by renting a hotel room. A bunch of people came over for the afterparty. Eventually he went to the bathroom to puke, but passed out on the floor. He also managed to shit himself. Now, these were some of my high school friends. You would think that people mature over time, but in grad school we also have proms, and they all wind up the same way: girls gather in the bathroom to cry about what so-and-so said or did, guys get stupid and lose control of their bodily functions and drunken sex is attempted by all. Good times.

ERIN GILLMAN • STAFF WRITER

DON’T break any hearts during the always intense “asking process” if you’re a last-minute guy (or gal) and you haven’t swiped a date yet. I promise you’ll have fun with anyone. DON’T get melanoma from pre-prom tanning. It’s not worth it, and I’m telling you now that suddenly darkening your skin eight shades is never attractive. DO remember to have fun. Through the barrage of false eyelashes, high heel blisters and your overly aggressive drunken date, it might be tough to just relax and have fun with your best friends. Don’t forget having fun is the most important thing of all. DO pick a unique dress. You don’t need to show up in the cookie cutter pink Cinderella dress. DO your own hair. My prom experience normally ended up with me practically slugging the hair stylist for making me look hideous and then running home to do it better myself.

Does Anyone Have an Extra Drum I Could Hide In?

TOM LANGE • STAFF WRITER

Many couples attend prom as “ just friends.” But in some cases “friends” means couples who know their date’s name, general appearance and little else. Here’s the problem: by night’s end your date may be nowhere to be found, having gone to fi nd who they really wanted to go with. In this case the best defense is a good offense: travel with a group, or have at least one wing man on call. Then if your date bails, the night’s not a total loss and you now have backup should you happen to run into who you really wanted to take.

TOM LANGE • STAFF WRITER

Wolfwoman wants to dance. ILLUSTRATION BY MATT HARLAN

Prom night my junior year was a fairly enjoyable evening. It was the weeks leading up to it that were awkward. I went with Melanie Hackman, who I knew through marching band. We got along well enough, but we knew very little about each other, so little that neither of us actually asked the other to go — the coupling was set up through mutual friends. It was really a pairing of convenience: Melanie had a date to her senior prom, and I now had an excuse to go. Because this was Melanie’s senior prom she wanted to make it special, which was understandable. But the night neared and her mother began to drive me crazy. Things came to a head one day when she showcased Melanie’s newly purchased dress to the band’s entire drum line and expressed to anyone who would listen the importance of

Night of the Living Seniors SCOTT FRANKEL • STAFF WRITER

Vicky decided to do some pre-prom tanning and fell asleep in the bed. Don’t be like Vicky.

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The 5,000 flash pictures my mother took of me at my senior prom weren’t enough to blind me from the horror of that night. It seems like the minute after the black spots had disappeared from my vision, I noticed that all of the girls and over half the guys in my group had gotten a spray-on tan: probably not a good idea. The extreme heat of that May 2004 day began melting the orange off these students’ faces. Their deformities can only be described as something out of a George A. Romero zombie fi lm. It was almost surreal, like we were in a fi lm and I was one of the only ones who hadn’t been bitten by the zombie yet. I was seriously ready to initiate a lockdown, put together a team of misfits, and save the school. Trust me, it’s better to be pale than to be mistaken for an undead corpse.

“THING” NECKLACE BY JOHN CARPENTER STYLIST: NIKITA SOROKIN

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stage, screen & i n b e t w e e n

THEATER REVIEW

TROILUS

AND

SYD SLOBODNIK • STAFF WRITER

CRESSIDA

A

lthough the highly authoritative Riverside Shakespeare classifies Troilus and Cressida as a comedy, it rightly concedes: “Its unconventional form, neither comedy, tragedy, history nor satire, its intellectualism, savagery and disillusion, speak forcefully to contemporary audiences naturally skeptical about ideas of honor, nobility and military glory.” This is such an accurate assessment of the present production of Chicago Shakespeare Theater’s Troilus and Cressida, which is imaginatively realized under Barbara Gaines’ direction. Gaines’ production captures the vivid images and passionate human saga of the Trojan War, after Paris of Troy abducted Greece’s Helen, and makes her audience reflect on the reasons why our nation is justified in our present wars. Now in its 20th season, the Chicago Shakespeare Theater has consistently made many of Shakespeare’s classics accessibly understandable to even casual theatergoers. With the usual crowd-pleasing spectacle, very capable American casts, frequent guest performers and high production values for costumes and sets, artistic director Barbara Gaines tells the love story of Troy’s prince Troilus, and Cressida, the daughter of a Trojan priest who favors the Greeks, in a time of raging conflict. Several stunning staged events highlight this fine production. For the play’s opening moments a huge transparent white shroud covers the stage’s playing area as a group of slowly moving masked soldiers walk in a death’s pace under this cloud-like cover toward the audience. The ominous feeling of death is palatable to all in attendance. Later the heartbroken Troilus spies on his captured Cressida from a hanging net-like barrier, as she seems to betray her love to an amorous enemy soldier. His anguish and pain is made more intense as he writhes in the webbed netting unable to control himself. While the production goes a little overboard on the sexual innuendo and the sensual portrayals of the voluptuous Cressida and Helen, the staging of Achilles’ relations with his catamite Patroclus is tastefully handled and in respect to the text. Gaines’ cast is a fine collection of local and visiting actors. Kevin O’Donnell and Chaon Cross are believably romantic as

PHOTO COURTESY OF LIZ LAUREN

the play’s leads. While their diction isn’t always the most distinct with American English interpretations, they are consistent in playing out the characters’ passions. Chicago Shakespeare Theater repertory regulars Greg Vinkler’s Ulysses, Scott Jacek’s Agamemnon and Ross Lehman’s Thersites provide appropriate power and comedic interest. And Stephen Quimette, who has been the associate director of the Stratford Shakespeare Festival in Canada, has remarkable skill in delivering the cadences and meanings of Shakespeare’s language as Pandarus, Cressida’s faithful uncle. This fine Troilus and Cressida production continues at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater at Navy Pier at 800 E. Grand Ave until June 24. Call 312-595-5600 for ticket information or visit their Web site at www.chicagoshakes.com.

The cast of Troilus and Cressida entices the crowd with their talent and visible passion for acting at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater. PHOTOS COURTESY OF MICHAEL BROSILOW

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When you’ve made a career based on f luff comedies, it’s difficult for an audience to take your “serious� work very seriously; such is the case for director Garry Marshall and his most recent film Georgia Rule. Known for his works — from television’s Laverne and Shirley to the big screen Pretty Woman and The Princess Diaries — Marshall is capable of effective compelling drama, as noted by the overlooked 1991 adaptation of Terrence McNally’s Frankie and Johnny. Georgia Rule is an edgy, sexually frank, R-rated, rather dark look at three generations of dysfunctional women who never communicated and with good reason, never trusted their mother’s advice and wisdom. Marshall and screen writer Mark Andrus set their story in a small Idaho town. Jane Fonda, Desperate Housewives’ Felicity Huffman and Lindsay Lohan star as grandma Georgia, mom and daughter. Mom and daughter haven’t seen grandma in 13 years since she was widowed. Troubled teen Rachel (Lohan) needs a place to hang out before heading to college in the fall and mom is too drunk and self absorbed to care. Teen fans of Lohan will quickly note this isn’t the Lohan of cute Disney films, it’s more like the Lohan of the tabloid headlines. Marshall layers the narrative with numerous ser ious elements and complex characters, effectively holding back on sitcom laughs. Rachel’s troubles and promiscuity are linked to a history of her stepfather’s possible molestation; the town’s widower veterinarian shares his

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philosophy on loss and redemption through love, trust and respect, and a rule bound grandma learns to show her love in concrete ways. Fonda and Lohan, two actresses with troubled off-screen lives, seem to channel their experiences very believably to their characters’ situations. Fonda, no longer the fitness guru of the ’80s,

shows it in her wrinkled face moments of painful wisdom, while Lohan, looking like a young Elizabeth Taylor of her Cat on a Hot Tin Roof days, is a sexy, but troubled soul, in need of understanding affection. While not terribly profound, Georgia Rule is a moving and well-acted tale of family bonds and understanding.

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Midway through Judd Apatow’s equally hysterical and heartfelt Knocked Up, a passing of the comedic torch commences between Seth Rogen’s nebbish slacker, Ben Stone, and his father (Harold Ramis). Ramis, formerly Egon of Ghostbusters and the scribe behind such hilarious hallmarks as Groundhog Day and Caddyshack, comfortably relinquishes his throne of reigning comic mastermind to the Apatow/ Rogen team who earned critical raves on the small screen for Freaks and Geeks before erupting with The 40-Year-Old Virgin. Once again rising to the occasion, Apatow embraces the complexity of comedy infusing Knocked Up with love and intelligence — quite atypical of today’s low-brow garbage. He proves that there’s a lot of heart ensconced in the framework of an otherwise bawdy sex comedy. Effortlessly, he alternates between repugnant and risquÊ to sophisticated and high-brow without forced stupidity on the side. And never have the dueling elements cooperated so harmoniously. Ben, a pot-smoking ne’er-do-well, isn’t exactly sounds from the scene

boyfriend material. So it’s downright terrifying when a minor miscommunication thrusts him into the “ joys� of fatherhood. The reluctant mother of his child is attractive E! News anchor, Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl). Much to everyone’s surprise — and Ben’s chagrin — she decides to give motherhood a shot. The title itself, blunt with its shameless audacity — brimming with comical observations and deadpan meanderings — serves as a commentary for the razor-sharp humor. Apatow celebrates the pop-culture quotables of his talented cast almost like a conductor leading a jazz band in brilliant improvisatory style. Knocked Up succeeds, almost perfectly, because of its heart and humor. The genuine camaraderie between its characters is infectious and Heigl portrays Scott with such poise and ingenious insanity that it’s a wonder she’s not getting a Grey’s Anatomy spin-off and Dr. Montgomery is. Even if you don’t agree, rest assured Mr. Ramis is certainly smiling.

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• M ay 23 , 2 oo7 I LOVE M ay |17 WANT TO SELL THAT GREEN VELVET COUCH OF YOURS? CALLWOLFMAN. BUZZ CLASSIFIEDS AT 337-8337 DATEXXXXXX, 2003 buzz

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'VMM 5JNF ELECTRONIC ASSEMBLY Cobalt digital is seeking a fulltime individual for final test, allignment and assembly of electronic devices. Requires strong sodering skills (I.e. resistors, caps, ic) and ability to do precision work. Send resume to hr@cobaltdigital.com.

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1BSU 5JNF AD SALES Gain experience in print and online media by consulting with clients about advertising in the Daily Illini and Buzz entertainment weekly. Contact Mark Nattier at ssm@illinimedia.com. Part-time job in online sales. Flexible hours. Starting at $75-100 per week. 217-637-1322. Part-time & Moonlighter help needed immediately. Drug screen & clean driving record required. Apply online ONLY @ www.uhaul.com

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APARTMENT INSPECTORS NEEDED

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Fantasy baseball study; participants wanted. $10 for one hour. smmille3@uiuc.edu.

Large property management company on campus looking for part-time apartment inspectors. Good hourly wage plus paid training. Must have car. Training starts beginning of June. Apply in-person today at 303 E. Green St., Champaign. Earn great money as an exotic dancer at the Silver Bullet. You pick your hours. Call 344-0937 after 8pm.

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SALES REPRESENTATIVE WANTED Don't miss the chance to be a member of graphic design company as a sales representative!!! Please apply by email to joohyun.kang@gmail.com. For more information, visit our website: www.ifdesignonline.com Full/Part-time Organic Vegetable Farm. June 1st through November 15th. Ask for Jon 643-2031.

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Cleaning Help Wanted Cleaners wanted to clean campus apartments. Approximately May 20 June 1. $6.50- $7.50/hour. Please call 337-7990 or stop by Illini Manor Office, 401 E. Chalmers #123 to pick up an application.

Egg Donor Needed- Loving Chicago area couple seeks Caucasian woman to be an egg donor. Ideal candidate is 18-28 years old. $5,000 compensation will be given. Contact Dr. Morris at 630-357-6540. Use the code name “babies2be.”

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'VSOJTIFE 6OGVSOJTIFE Available Now! 505 S Urbana, U. 2BR/1BA, furn., 1 yr old, CLEAN, w/d, garage, busline 1/2 blk. $850/mo for 14 mo. lease. 508 E Airport Rd, U. 2BR/1BA, unfurn., pet friendly, large yard, quiet. $650/mo for 14 mo lease. Call 217402-6900. Courtyard on Randolph 713 S. Randolph, C. Now leasing for August. Furnished/ Unfurnished. Spacious 2 and 3 bedrooms starting at $630. Close to campus and downtown. Water, Direct TV and parking included. Balcony, laundry and seasonal pool. (217)352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

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Childcare and tutoring assistance sought for four children ages 9- 17 years, from 3pm- 7pm Monday through Friday. Interest in piano desired. E-mail resume to mnelson@christieclinic.com

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'VSOJTIFE 702 W. Washington, C. Large one bedroom apartment available in quiet neighborhood with great neighbors. $527 per month. Heat, water, sanitation, trash and off-street parking included. On-site laundry and storage. No pets. Lease, deposit and references required. For more information http://www.illinimanor.com or to schedule a tour call 337-7990.

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RATES: Billed rate: 39¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 33¢/word Photo Sellers 30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue Garage Sales 30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free. Action Ads • 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

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Downtown/ Old Town Champaign Renting for July/ August 2007. 406 W. Washington- 2 BR $540 800 W. Church- 2 BR $470 507 W. White- 2 BR $530 511 W. University- 1 BR $415 205 S. Lynn- 1 BR $450 508 W. Hill- 1 BR $415 515 W. Washington- 1 BR $415 403 W. White- 1 BR $440 711 S. Randolph- 1 BR $415 Faron Properties 352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

1 bedroom in 3 bedroom apartment. Furnished. $270/mo. + utilities. Internet included. Near Engineering Quad. 630-440-2752.

Female to share 4 BR spacious house in quiet residential neighborhood. 2 rooms available ($300 and $120). Internet and utilities included. 2102 Madison Ct., Champaign. Reference Required. 217-480-1022.

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CAMPUS. Quality furnished room in house. Share kitchen, laundry, utilities. On busline. $235. 217-3560345, 217-721-2143.

The Opera House. 312 W. Springfield

620

2 bedroom duplex, unfurnished. washer and dryer hookup, parking. In quiet southeast Urbana neighborhood. $530/mo. 384-1925.

Luxury 1 BR apartment in downtown Urbana. 2 covered parking spots. $783/mo. Available for Fall 07-08. Contact John: 309-370-7582.

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the stinger

kim rice & ross wantland DOIN’ IT WELL

STOP THE “MADNESS” May is Masturbation Month! jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

“Here’s Your Cue, Jay”— two tough letters, one tough puzzle. by Matt Jones Across 1 Bitter-tasting 6 Have ___ in one’s knowledge 10 Pampering place 13 Went after 15 City on the Baltic Sea 16 Fish caught in the Baltic Sea 17 Say goodbye, in a way 19 There are four in Monopoly: abbr. 20 Funerary holders 21 “Bye, Bruno”

22 One of the Gallaghers 24 Indignation 25 One who cuts in line, in Britain 28 Puccini opera 30 Native Nebraskans 31 Sputnik, e.g. 36 Bhagavad-___ (Sanskrit text) 37 Words after “fresh” 40 Julia in films 41 Vacation vehicles 42 Guatemalan played by Hank Azaria in “The Birdcage” 44 Military reporter 48 He produced “We Are the World” 53 Regret

3 Jeff Goldblum detective drama of 2007 4 Novel ending? 5 Susan of “L.A. Law” 6 Chilean pianist Claudio 7 Action figure with kung-fu grip 8 Historically 9 Crappy, sappy art 10 Like some angels 11 Soak through 12 Gore and more 14 Prefix for “drama” 18 180-degree turn 23 Poetry movement that advocates free verse 25 1978 Devo album cover query “___ We Not Men?” 26 Fox who plays Sara Sidle on “CSI” 27 Jo’burg’s country 29 Had prior arrangements 32 Smoothie bit, perhaps 33 Suffix for “public” 34 Excellent rating (unless it’s out of 100) 35 Summer clock setting for Cleveland: abbr. 37 Giant cacti 38 Cowering in fear 39 Ending for mod 40 Clint Black pro-war song “I ___ and Roll” 54 Utah ski resort 43 The Cars’ lead singer 55 “Fine already!” Ric 56 Saturn maker 45 Coors or Schlitz 57 Prefix for “angle” or 46 Oregon college town “cycle” 47 More numb 58 Like Dick Tracy or Mark 49 Haitian days Trail 50 55-across, in other 61 Charged particle words? 62 Prefix from the Greek for 51 “___ do I” (phrase of “wide” agreement) 63 Calm 52 ___ out a win 64 “Chinese Restaurant 56 “___ Smile” (Hall & Syndrome” substance Oates song) 65 #1 song for Prince 57 Meadows of comedy 66 Less covered 59 ___-Gon Jinn (“Phantom Menace” role) Down 60 George’s smarter 1 Let off the hook brother 2 Cinnamon-covered snack SOLUTIONS ON PG 17

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Myths and misinformation about masturbation have been around for a long time. Why is masturbation still so taboo? Here’s a brief walk through history outlining inf luences on our current feelings about self-love. RE-WRITING THE STORY OF ONAN In 1716 a pamphlet was published called “Onania.” This text revealed the “heinous sin of self pollution” and outlined many dangerous consequences of masturbation. Cures were offered for purchase (skeptical yet?). That led the notable Swiss physician Samuel-Auguste Tissot to publish L’Onanisme in 1760, which was his personal medical treatise on the ill effects of masturbation. While most of us can look back on this and see the complete ignorance behind this work, it represents a major moment in the history of masturbatory madness: A doctor said that it’s bad for you. LEND ME A HAND In the late 1800s the electric vibrator was developed and used by doctors to help treat “hysteria” in women. It was thought that women needed a release of sexual tension, which was thought to be the cause of their hysteria. When vibrators starting popping up in early porn flicks, doctors no longer favored this treatment. Keep in mind, doctors didn’t state that they were providing orgasms to women or masturbating them (neither women nor their doctors identified it in this way). We wonder if any of those doctors mentioned to women that they could get the same “release” of tension by stimulating their clitorises with their own hands … at home. That would mean they would have had to tell women they could get the same cure the doctor gave them, only it would then be called masturbation! ANTI-MASTURBATION INVENTIONS It’s a miracle that masturbation survived the late 1800s and early 1900s. It was during this time that the U.S. Patent Office approved patents for anti-masturbatory devices. People were frightened about the mental illness, blindness, poor health and the evil that masturbation would produce (remember, a doctor had told them so). It was also the time that both Corn Flakes and graham crackers were developed as part of a bland diet, to prevent masturbation in boys. Patents were provided for chastity belts and spiked metal rings that would inflict pain during an erection. This was an excellent way to capitalize on the ignorance of people who knew little about their own bodies. Too bad they didn’t recognize the larger market: girls masturbate, too. AND ALONG CAME ELLIS AND KINSEY Thank goodness! In 1897 Havelock Ellis published Studies in the Psychology of Sex, which questioned Tissot’s work and happlily named famous men of the era

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who masturbated. With the help of other recent physicians, it also set out to disprove each of the claimed diseases that masturbation supposedly caused. However, it was Alfred Kinsey’s groundbreaking research on human sexual behavior of males and females that provided the general public with a much-needed shift in the way we viewed masturbation. His work revealed that masturbation was popular — very popular in fact — and possibly the most common sexual behavior. A CALL TO ACTION (FOR WOMEN!) Considered by many the “grandmother” of masturbation, Betty Dodson published two groundbreaking works: Liberating Masturbation (1974) and Sex for One (1986). Still classics in the field, these books gave women the permission and freedom to touch themselves for pleasure and to enjoy every wonderful moment of it! THE MADNESS CONTINUES In 1994 surgeon general Dr. Jocelyn Elder was asked about the potential of masturbation being included in comprehensive sex education in schools. Her response? “I think that is something that is a part of human sexuality and it’s a part of something that perhaps should be taught.” Dr. Elder was in no way suggesting that specific techniques should be taught, but rather that masturbation should be taught as being healthy, normal and a part of human sexuality. As we know, she was promptly fired by President Bill Clinton for her comment. And that led activists from the Good Vibrations sex toy store in San Francisco to rally with others to establish May as Masturbation Month. According to Good Vibrations: “We started National Masturbation Month to raise awareness, and because we wanted to highlight the importance of masturbation for nearly everyone: it’s safe, it’s healthy, it’s free, it’s pleasurable and it helps people get to know their bodies and their sexual responses.” They even host a Masturbation-AThon fundraiser to raise money for sexual health organization. Check out their website at www. goodvibes.com to learn more or participate.

SEX 411: LEARN MORE ABOUT MASTURBATION • Laqueur: Solitary Sex: A Cultural History of Masturbation • Cornog: The Big Book of Masturbation • Mains: The Technology of Orgasm: Hysteria, the Vibrator and Women’s Sexual Satisfaction

Kim Rice and Ross Wantland are professionals in the field of sexuality and violence prevention. Write to them at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com. sounds from the scene

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free will astrology MAY. 17 — MAY. 23 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

“The Only Three Questions That Count” isthe title of a book by Ken Fisher. I’m stealing it to use as the theme of your horoscope. So your next assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to craft three essential questions that will guide your journey between now and the end of 2007. These queries should excite your natural curiosity about the life issues that matter most to you. They should be carefully and precisely formulated. And they should motivate you to keep your mind wide open and hungry as you hunt for more insight into your most bafflingly interesting mysteries.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

It’s about time you got the chance to be knocked on your ass by a flood of positive surprises and good feelings. I hope you’re trusting enough to go with the tidal flow, even if it does temporarily render you a bit woozy. Naturally you’d like to know if this giddy surrender will land you in trouble. Is there any chance that you’ll have to endure some karmic adjustment at a later date because of the fun you’re having now? Here’s my prediction: absolutely not. If anything, your enthusiastic cooperation with the free-form dazzle will shield you from any negative repercussions.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

Last year the top hedge fund managers in the U.S . earned an average of $363 million a year. I haven’t been able to determine what percentage of those plutocrats are Scorpios. But whatever the number is, I predict it’ll rise during the remaining months of 2007. The members of your tribe--not just in the upper crust, but those of all crusts--are poised for the greatest financial upgrade in years. And one of the most favorable periods for expansion is dead ahead.

his week may feel like a far-off trumpet playing mournfully at dawn as you awaken from a dream about buying pomegranates in a seedy but oddly appealing open-air market in Morocco. It could also resemble the sensation of talking on the phone long-distance to a person you both love and hate as rain falls on a metal roof and you gaze at a lunar eclipse that’s breaking through a round hole in the cloud cover. In other words, Sagittarius, it’ll be a time that’s rich in hard-to-classify emotions. I expect you’ll have experiences that will both spook you and energize you, both mesmerize you and liberate you.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

For years I made my home in a Northern Californian city called San Rafael. Near the end of my time there, I discovered that the Miwok Indians who lived in the area for hundreds of years before the white men stole it had a different name for it: Nanaguani. I was embarrassed that it had taken me so long to know such a fundamental fact about my own neighborhood. Make this the starting point for your assignment this week, Gemini, which is to learn more about the origins of the people and places and things that are most important to you.

I wish I could get a newly discovered species of beetle or an underground lake of ice on Mars named after you. I wish I could buy you a temple in Bali, and arrange for you to have your fortune told by the blind prophetess of Rio de Janeiro. And I wish I could dress you in 200-year-old velvet robes and silk scarves once worn by Turkish royalty. You richly deserve honors and blessings like these, Capricorn. It’s that time in your astrological cycle when life is supposed to overflow with rewards for the good work you’ve been doing for a long time. I urge you to be vividly confident that you do indeed deserve these rewards, and radiate that faith in all directions.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

AQUA R I U S

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

Reality is not all it’s cracked up to be. Just because millions of people suffer from the same hallucinations doesn’t mean those hallucinations are objectively true. I share Salvador Dali’s perspective: “One day it will have to be officially admitted that what we have christened reality is an even greater illusion than the world of dreams.” For these reasons and many more, I don’t automatically dismiss people who live in their own fantasy worlds. Their dreamy concoctions may be no more deluded than those of normal people, and might be far more fun and amusing. Everything I just said is a preface for the main point of this horoscope, Cancerian, which is to give you temporary license to escape into the most beautiful mirage you can conjure up. Love your fantastic visions. Let your imagination run far, far away with you.

The members of the Superbroke Brass and Tin and Strings Electric Marching Band Ensemble wrote to me at my MySpace page. “We’re here to fight the Evil Anti-Groove,” they said, “to liberate the SuperFlow of the Universe, and to loosen the Sphincter of the Collective Unconscious. I hope you’ll march with us some day.” I bring this to your attention, Leo, because your mission in the coming weeks should be much the same as theirs. Your personal success and satisfaction will be directly tied to how skilled you are at enhancing the well-being of your group, tribe, or community.

VIRGO

PISCES

Feb. 19 – March 20

Your word of the week is incubation. It refers to the act of a parent animal sitting on eggs to keep them warm as the fetuses inside mature to the point of hatching. In a more metaphorical sense, “incubation” means the process of protecting and nurturing an idea or possibility as it ripens. Dream workers also tout “dream incubation,” in which you describe a problem that you’d like to have addressed by your dreams, and hold it in your mind as you fall asleep. If you do this with a strong intention, your dreams will eventually help you solve the problem. I invite you to apply this meditation on incubation to the work you have ahead of you, Pisces.

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

“Welcome to the never-ending brainstorm session,” reads an advertisement for Barclays Bank, one of the most successful financial institutions in the world. It’s an approach that has some similarities to the ethic that prevails at Toyota, the company that makes the world’s best-selling car. Its core principle is kaizen, a Japanese word meaning “continuous improvement,” though it can also be translated as “to take apart and put back together in a better way.” A blend of these attitudes is what I recommend to you during the coming weeks, Virgo: kaizen meets the never-ending brainstorm.e.

LIBRA

The Inuit people of Canada’s far northern territory of Nunavut have a word that describes an old friend who’s acting oddly. In recent years, as global warming has gained momentum, they’ve applied this term, uggianaqtuq, to their environment. What are the symptoms? The sea ice forms later each winter and thaws earlier in the spring. Robins and biting flies have arrived in places where they’ve never been before. The sky is whiter and hazier, even on clear days. I suspect you’ll experience a version of uggianaqtuq. in the coming days, Aquarius. Something familiar will behave in a way you’ve never experienced. That could be good or bad or a mixture of both. Which way it goes may depend in part on whether you refrain from jumping to conclusions. It may also hinge on your willingness to redefine the meaning of “good” and “bad.”

Homework: What would it mean for you to “make love to the universe”? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com. PUZZLE ON PG 16

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

“There can be no transformation of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion,” wrote psychologist Carl Jung. That should be your motto in the coming week, Libra. Clear thinking and impeccable logic will not be sufficient to guide you to your next great adventure. You need the driving force of succulent emotion rising up in your solar plexus, the lush power of raw sensitivity piercing your heart. Feel as deep as you dare.

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THU. MAY 17 Live Bands Acoustic Wednesday featuring Adam Wolfe Potbelly Sandwich Works, 12pm, free Jazz Quintet with Special Guest Ray Saski Iron Post, 7pm, $8 Chevelle with Special Guests Blacklight Burns and 2 Cents [A Jay Goldberg Event and 93.5 The Rock production.] Canopy Club, 8pm, $23 in advance Caleb Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover Live Karaoke Band Cowboy Monkey, 10pm DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club [Nothing but Rock.] Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm DJ Hellcat Mike ‘n Molly’s, 10pm Karaoke Karaoke with Randy from RM Entertainment Fat City Saloon, 9pm Liquid Courage Karaoke The Office, 10pm Lectures/Discussions “3 or 4 Easy Pieces” [With Petros Koumoutsakos, Institute of Computational Science, Zurich, Switzerland.] Beckman Institute, 11am “Micro and Nanotechnology for Performing Bioanalytical Measurements” [With Michael Ramsey, University of North Carolina.] Roger Adams Lab, 3pm “The Middle East and The United States” [Professor Jamal Nassar, a lively and engaging public speaker, will be addressing the topic of the Middle East and the United States. He is a leading scholar and authority of the Middle East and has addressed the United Nations as an expert on the Question of Palestine.] St. Mary Catholic Church, 7pm Workshops “Managing Work and Partner Relationships: A Workshop for Dual Earner Couples” [For more information call 244-5312.] Christopher Hall Studio, 7pm Recreation Cardio-Kickboxing [Fun, high-energy class modifying to low or high impact levels. Emphasizes developing muscle coordination, stamina and agility. Wide range of punching and kicking techniques with strengthening cardio-vascular, abs, arms and legs. Call 344-1544 to sign up.] Phillips Recreation Center, 5:30pm Pilates [Strengthen core abdominal and back. Provides modified multilevel options for individual needs. Improves posture, confidence, flexibility and strength. Call 359-3476 for more information or to sign-up.] Gold’s Gym, 6:45pm, members $4/non-members $5 Belly Dance [Learn all the basic moves and have fun while getting fit. Call 359-3476 to sign up or for more information.] Gold’s Gym, 7:30pm

Fundraisers “When in Doubt, Don’t Throw It Out” [The annual dump and run garage sale is a fundraising program that the University Y runs. They collect reusable items, and sell the collected items in order to reduce litter and consumer waste.] University YMCA, 9am Family Fun Group Funfare [Preschool groups are invited to come. Groups are asked to register with the Children’s Department in advance at 367-4069. The program will feature stories, songs, puppets and films.] Urbana Free Library, 9:45am

Sporting Events Illinois Baseball vs. Michigan State Illinois Field, 6:05pm Recreation Fit For Life [Gentle yet fun class for cardio-rehab patients, weight-challenged, prenatal, those new to fitness or older adults. Strengthens entire cardio-vascular, abs, back, legs and arms without strain on joints. Includes stretching. Call 367-1544 to sign-up.] Phillips Recreation Center, 9am Miscellaneous Culture Fair University High School, 9am Meetings Association of Academic Professionals [Happy hour.] Bread Company, 5pm

Poetry/Readings VOICE [Poetry and fiction readings.] Bread Company, 7:45pm

FRI. MAY 18 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am Jazz Quintet with Special Guest Ray Saski Iron Post, 5PM, $8 Prarie Dogs Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, free Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Robbie Fulks with Special Guest Elsinore Highdive, 9pm, $10/$12 at the door The Seven Year Experience with Special Guests Mazarene, Resurgence, Instant Decay and Verdict [Heavy metal music.] Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Feudin Hillbillies T&T Tavern, 9pm Screaming Salsa [Tenor sax, percussion, drums, keyboard, bass, trombone and vocals.] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm DJ Bozak [Spinning jazz, downtempo, funk, hip-hop and chill disco.] Soma Ultralounge, 9pm Deeplicio.us [With DJ Mambo Italiano. House music.] Ko.Fusion, 11pm Dancing Contra Dance [All dances are taught (walked-through) prior to dancing. Wear comfortable clothing and bring a pair of clean, soft-soled shoes to protect the wood floor.] Phillips Recreation Center, 8pm Lectures/Discussions An Overview of Orenburg-Style Knitted Lace [Elegant borders, sensational pattern motifs, intriguing knitting techniques, and the fascinating women who make it all happen. Join Galina A. Khmeleva for an in-depth look at Orenburg knitted lace from technical and historical perspectives. This will present a rare opportunity to see Galina’s stunning private collection of original hand-spun/hand-knit lace and engage in a lively discussion of the evolution of knitted lace.] Spurlock Museum, 7pm

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TRY GOING TO EVENTS MARKED BY THE LOGO. COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO.

IN

Fundraisers “When in Doubt, Don’t Throw It Out” University YMCA, 9am Social Issues OUTZone Youth Center [A social and wellness drop-in group for gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, transgendered and questioning teens ages 13 to 19, and their supportive teen friends and allies to meet and socialize with others like themselves in a safe enviornment.] Independent Media Center, 7pm

SAT. MAY 19 Live Bands Battle of the Bands: Rock Night [Part 2/5 of Battle of the Bands benefiting Crisis Nursery. Features five bands: Trouvere, Monster Honkey, Mad Tribe, The Vision and S.I.D.] Club 45, 7pm Monte Montgomery Canopy Club, 7pm, $12 in advance Shakedown [’80s and ’90s rock.] T&T Tavern, 8:30pm Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Casados with special guests A Light Sleeper, The Dowry, Dan Beahm & The Invisible Three, and Drew/Sukja Canopy Club, 9pm, $5 Lucky Mulholland CD Release Show [With special guests Megan Johns, Sprickets, DJ Leg Two.] Iron Post, 9pm, $5 cover Bruiser and the Virtues Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm i:Scintilla with Special Guests Relenter and Cruciform Injection Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 Concerts Voices of Our Mothers [Amasong, Champaign-Urbana’s Premier Lesbian/Feminist Chorus under the direction of Meagan Johnson Smith, present their spring concert featuring songs we learned from the women who preceded us.] McKinley Church and Foundation, 7:30pm DJ DJ Tim Williams [Remix of top-40, house, techno, dance-pop, disco, ’80s and hip-hop.] Highdive, 10pm, $5

DJ/Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm DJ Bozak Soma Ultralounge, 9pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm Sporting Events Illinois Baseball vs. Michigan State [Double-header.] Illinois Field, 1:05pm Recreation See the “Real Sky” with Telescopes [Join the CU Astronomical Society at their rural observatory for a peek at the real sky. See the starts and planets through the dome’s 16-inch telescope or view through other member’s telescopes. All observing events are weather permitting.] CUAS Observatory, 6:30pm Family Fun “The Key to Reading” [During this interactive read aloud for children ages four and up, Key Club members will serve as reading buddies, using props as well as books to make sure all of the participants have a morning full of fun. Call 367-4069 for more information.] Urbana Free Library, 11am Children’s Day Japan House 1pm, free Volunteer ReStore Volunteer Orientation [Volunteers assist in all store duties, including customer service, pricing and displaying, pick-ups, deliveries and cashiering. For more information, a current ReStore orientation schedule, or to RSVP for an orientation, please contact Courtney at 355-6460 ext. 116 or e-mail volunteer@cuhabitat.org.] Habitat for Humanity, 9am Diversified Farm Workday [Join park staff to assist with various projects around the Diversified Farm.] Allerton Park, 10am

SUN. MAY 20 Live Bands Carol Perhach and Nick Schneider Iron Post, 7pm, $3 Crystal River Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover Concerts UFLive! with Rocky Maffit & Friends [Renowned percussionist Rocky Maffit will perform with keyboardist Neal Robinson and percussionist Chad Dunn.] Urbana Free Library, 2pm Voices of Our Mothers Smith Recital Hall, 7:30pm DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm Dancing Salsa Sundays featuring DJ Bris [Free dance lessons until 8:30pm followed by open floor dancing.] Cowboy Monkey, 7pm, no cover Sporting Events Illinois Baseball vs. Michigan State Illinois Field, 1:05pm Recreation Sunday Morning Bird Walks in Busey Woods [Join the Champaign County Audubon Society members on a trip. For further information call 344-6803.] Anita Purves Nature Center, 7:30am

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Miscellaneous Spring Brunches at Allerton [Brunches will be served at 11am and 2pm inside the mansion. Price includes a mansion wristband. Call now to make your reservation at 333-3287.] Allerton Park, 11am, $15.95 adults/$5.95 children 10 and under Family Fun Family Fun Day [Includes nature hikes, nature stories, Garden and Sculpture Tour and quick-craft sessions.] Allerton Park, 1pm

MON. MAY 21 Live Bands Open Mic Night with hosts Mike Ingram and Brandon T. Washington Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, no cover WEFT Sessions Featuring Watery Domestic WEFT 90.1 FM, 10pm DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm Recreation Fit For Life [Call 367-1544 to signup.] Phillips Recreation Center, 9am Comedy Zoo Improv Troupe [Zoo Troupe performs an entertaining combo of short and long form improvisational comedy including members that have trained at Second City and Improv Olympic in Chicago.] The Iron Post, 6pm Meetings Italian Table [Italian conversation.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 12pm Fundraisers “When in Doubt, Don’t Throw It Out” University YMCA, 9am Family Fun “Babies’ Lap Time Moonlight Edition” [Babies and their parents/caregivers are invited for a program of songs, stories and rhymes. For children aged up to 24 months with an adult.] Urbana Free Library, 6:30pm

TUE. MAY 22 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am Crystal River Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover Captured! By Robots with special guests Teddy Bear Orchestra and Monster Honkey Highdive, 9pm, $5/$7 after 10pm DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm DJ SubVersion featuring DJ Vermis and Nhyrvana Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, no cover Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm Karaoke with Randy Miller Bentley’s Pub, 9:30pm, free Workshops Carle Expectant Parent Classes [You’re Almost a Grandparent. Registration required. Call 3836962 for more information.] Carle Clinic, 6:30pm

Recreation Cardio-Kickboxing [Call 344-1544 for more information or to sign up.] Phillips Recreation Center, 5:30pm Miscellaneous Rainbow Coffeehouse [A welcoming, nonreligious, open environment for LGBT and ALLY communities to socialize.] Wesley Foundation (United Methodist), 6:30pm Fundraisers “When in Doubt, Don’t Throw It Out” University YMCA, 9am Family Fun Babies’ Lap Time [Babies and their parents or caregivers are invited to this program of songs, stories and rhymes for young patrons, ages birth to 24 months.] Urbana Free Library, 9:45am

WED. MAY 23 Live Bands The Painkillers Iron Post, 6pm, $3 Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, 7pm Feudin’ Hillbillys Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover Wednesdays in the Void Featuring Whistler’s Mother [With special guests Michael Davis and The Perish Festival.] Canopy Club, 9pm, no cover Acoustic Wednesday featuring Adam Wolfe Geo’s, 9:30pm, free DJ DJ/Gentlemen’s Club Silver Bullet Bar, 8pm Summer Party Featuring Screaming Salsa with DJ Sonider0 y Mambo Italiano [Tenor sax, percussion, drums, keyboard, bass, trombone and vocals. Salsa, Merengue, Bachata and Reggaeton will all be playing.] KoFusion, 10pm, free Dancing Tango Dancing with Joe Grohens Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geovantis, 10pm Recreation Fit For Life [Call 367-1544 to sign up.] Phillips Recreation Center, 9am Belly Dance for Beginners [Call 367-1544 to sign up.] Phillips Recreation Center, 8:15pm Meetings Scandinavian Coffee Hour Bread Company, 4pm Fundraisers “When in Doubt, Don’t Throw It Out” University YMCA, 9am Family Fun Touch-A-Truck [Come experience what big trucks are really like. Tow trucks, fire trucks, police cars and more will be available for kids to explore.] Centennial Park, 10am Volunteer ReStore Volunteer Orientation [For more information, a current ReStore orientation schedule, or to RSVP for an orientation, please contact Courtney at 355-6460 ext. 116 or e-mail volunteer@ cuhabitat.org.] Habitat for Humanity, 5:30pm

sounds from the scene

DJ Bozak

ART & THEATER

May 18 and 19 Soma Ultralounge, 10 p.m.

One State: Together in the Arts Conference [The Illinois Arts Alliance (IAA) and the Illinois Arts Council (IAC) will co-convene the fifth biennial conference for arts leaders and practitioners. An estimated 200 arts managers, board members, educators, students and artists are expected to attend.] Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, May 17 and 18 Parkland Digital Media Student Exhibition [An exhibition of student work from graphic design and 3-D animation.] Parkland Art Gallery through June 21 A History of New [Explores what happens when a new technology is co-opted and subverted into a tool, supporting system or display medium for artists. University students and museum visitors are invited to help build a graphically rich timeline of technological and scientific innovations, and the resulting reactions and responses to these innovations. The timeline will be displayed on the wall of the CANVAS Gallery and within the CANVAS itself.] Krannert Art Museum through July 29

When looking through this week’s calendar selection, I couldn’t seem to find anything I particularly enjoyed that fell into my indie pop or rock band taste, so I decided to tap into my next favorite thing—dance. The DJs in this town are underrated at times, and I would like to be more familiar with their musical creations, therefore my pick of the week is DJ Bozak. Bozak can be found on Fridays and Saturdays at the Soma Ultralounge where he creates the scene. His ability to create music that covers all walks of musical life is perfectly in sync to the beat of the crowd. It is hard to tell whether or not the crowd’s aura follows that of Bozak’s beats, or if Bozak has the superpower to read the crowd’s mood and go from there. At Soma Ultralounge the music can be more chill (yes, I ventured to use the expression chill), yet my desire to dance is fulfilled by the groove marathon that goes on at the lounge. The perks of grooving? You can do it for a much longer time than you can drop it like it’s hot, which kind of follows the same lines as Bozak’s distinct ability to have one mix go on for about 30 to 50 minutes.

An Architect Collects: Robert D. Kleinschmidt and A Lifetime of Fine Arts Acquisitions [Robert D. Kleinschmidt is a Chicago-based architect whose professional beliefs seem to have continually influenced his collection of art. Throughout his schooling and career, Kleinschmidt has explored the integration of landscape and architecture, space, light, minimalism and cutting-edge modernism. All of these ideas are represented in his impressive collection of modern and contemporary art. This exhibition and accompanying catalogue highlight Kleinschmidt’s collection that is displayed in his Mies van der Rohe-designed apartment on North Lake Shore Drive in Chicago. The collection includes works by Joseph Albers, Harry Bertoia, Alberto Giacometti, Diego Giacometti, Jasper Johns, Sam Francis and many more.] Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavillion through July 29 Why Knot? [For 20,000 years humans have manipulated fibers to construct objects that aid in food gathering, commemorating the dead and protecting and beautifying the body and home. The Spurlock Museum celebrates these artifacts and the skilled craftspeople who create them.] Spurlock Museum through August 26 James and the Giant Peach [James, a curious young orphan forced to live with his two cruel aunts, is taken on a fantastic journey when he discovers a magic peach. The play, based on a beautifully written story by Roald Dahl, unfolds in a series of mishaps and adventures involving James, the peach and a cast of wacky bugs.] Rantoul Theatre, May 18 and 19 at 8 p.m., May 20 at 2 p.m. Parasite Drag [“Parasite Drag” is a drama about a small-town Illinois family and the stories that haunt it.] Station Theatre, May 18 through 20, 23 at 8 p.m.

Come get your groove on, if you dare. —Caitlin Cremer

Topless Female Dancers Champaign-Urbana Theatre Company Office Assistant Use your clerical skills to support the Champaign-Urbana Theatre Company. Volunteers will contribute just two hours a week on a flexible schedule and make a big difference. Duties include copying, data entry, stuffing envelopes and returning calls among other office duties. Interested? For more information contact John Stuff at cutcmanager@aol.com or call 344-3884.

18 to enter • Mon-Thur 8pm-1am • Fri-Sat 8pm-2am • $5 Cover (Always Hiring, We’ll Train)

Silver Bullet Bar

1401 E. Washington Urbana 217.344.0937

www.silverbulletbar.net sounds from the scene

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | THE HOOPLA | STAGE, S CREEN &

IN

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M ay 17

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M ay 23 , 2 oo7

buzz weekly •

I AM THE LINEMAN FOR THE COUNTY.

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LIKES & GRIPES LET IT OUT

TATYANA SAFRONOVA Editor in Chief LIKES

1) My baker friend, Steve: If it wasn’t for Steve’s sound advice on how to make tempered chocolate, my chocolate-covered strawberries (dark chocolate with a white chocolate drizzle) would’ve melted at a picnic held in 85+ degree weather. Oh Steve, if you weren’t dating my friend, I’d kidnap you and make you my sex slave/ personal chef. 2) Mojitos: Thank you, Flat Top. Fresh mojitos. Thank you. 3) Corpses: So I’m reading this book about corpses (Stiff), namely about all the uses of donated bodies and the past uses of stolen bodies of the poor and the unfortunate. We’re talking about bodies being used for everything from nose jobs to face lifts to crash tests and everything in between. Man, who knew we’d be so useful after being pretty much just annoying during our lives?

NIKITA SOROKIN Art Director GRIPES

MARIA SURAWSKA Designer LIKES

1) Your locked swimming pool: I can scramble over the fence at 3 a.m. and let in all of my friends all summer. And what happened to the slide? Please get a new slide. 2) Your rottweiler: Evil wrinkly monstrosity. 3) Your refusal to go on vacation: Please go. You need a change of scenery. A mountain range. A tiny European car. An Italian mistress. Take the dog with you.

1) Icanhascheezburger.com: If you haven’t experienced the phenomenon that is LOLcats, then your life has been incomplete and must visit this Web site. I check it everyday, especially when I need to be cheered up by cutesy pictures of anthropomorphized kitties. OMGWTFBBQROFL. 2) Free time: Something that I haven’t felt in the past school year. Now I don’t know what to do with myself. No class. No homework. No ridiculous projects. It’s kind of amazing. 3) Short hair: It’s fast, quick, easy, simple, uncomplicated, insert other synonyms for “quick and easy.” Plus I look good. Damn good. *see picture

CAITLIN CREMER Music Editor GRIPES 1) BUGS: Having fallen victim to the CPM shitty housing facilities, I don’t have any screens on my windows ... in other words, I’ve quickly made friends with neighbor boys who are willing to kill the junebugs and other wonders of the creepy-crawly world that frequent my apartment. Ick. 2) Econ 102: Today was my first summer class. So three hours of listening to “the government may have a positive effect on” ... actually I don’t even remember. Maybe it’s because of the strong pull the birds outside the window had on me, making me ditch class 1.2 hours into it. Oops. 3) Keys: I lose them all the time. I’ve gone through many embarrassing and annoying moments because of my inability to keep track of keys. Making classes in session stand up while I’m on my hands and knees searching the floor, having to climb through the balcony to get in my apartment and paying $100 in replacement fees later, I have come to the conclusion that keys are dumb, little things that don’t like me.

SEND US YOUR LIKES AND GRIPES! Include your name and hometown to: buzz@readbuzz.com

You’re invited…

As a member of the U of I or Parkland College faculty, you are cordially invited to our exclusive Faculty Appreciation Event Thursday, May 17th after normal store hours at the Illini Apple Center on Green Street. Hors d’oeuvres and drinks will be served. Apple specialists will be on-site to answer any questions you may have, and demonstration units will be available. Event Details: 24-hour faculty sale beings at 5pm on Thursday • • Faculty take an additional $100 off the already discounted education prices on any notebook or iMac computer • Hardware and software presentations • Complementary training sessions and courses • Product giveaways

Every teacher deserves an apple... sounds from the scene

illini apple center INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | THE HOOPLA | STAGE, S CREEN &

Thursday, May 17th Private Store Hours: 5pm-7pm 512 E. Green St. www.illiniapplecenter.com IN

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