Buzz Magazine: May 28, 2009 by Buzz Magazine

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champaign-urbana’s arts & entertainment magazine FREE 05.28.09 - 06.03.09

Proposition 8! pansy rock Bane Family Meats

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Topless Female Dancers 18 to enter • Mon-Thur 8pm-1am • Fri-Sat 8pm-2am • $5 Cover

MAY 28 – JUN 03 2009

volume 7 no. 21

(Always Hiring, We’ll Train)

Silver Bullet Bar

1401 E. Washington Urbana 217.344.0937

www.silverbulletbar.net

Blind Pig Brewery 8 Curbing the Flood Levy Letdown

Review of disappointing Night at the Museum sequel

Coming Full Circle Guitar Greats Calendar

UI student keeps Urbana from going under

See what Circles Boutique is up to this summer

Andreas Kapsalis and Goran Ivanovic come to Canopy

B U Z Z COV E R D E S I G N : Tanya Boonroueng

MUSIC EDITOR :

Tommy Trafton

FOOD EDITOR :

M A N AG I N G E D I T O R & CO P Y C H I E F : ART DIRECTOR : PHOTOGR APHY EDITOR : I M AG E E D I T O R : PHOTOGR APHER S:

DESIGNER:

M OV I E E D I T O R :

Amanda Brenner Kate Lamy Rebekah Nelson Tanya Boonroueng Rebekah Nelson Claire Keating Kate Lamy Abby Toms Claire Keating

ART EDITOR : CO M M U N I T Y E D I T O R : C U C A L E N DA R : CO P Y E D I T O R S : S A L E S M A N AG E R : MARKETING/DISTRIBUTION: PUBLISHER:

T A L K O N T H E W E B : www.the217.com

8 9 7

Your guide to this week’s events

EDITOR IN CHIEF:

S T A F F

Amanda Shively Allison Copenbarger Matt Carey Jean Kim Michell Eloy Amanda Shively Amanda Brenner Tom Cyrs Sarah Gleason Brandi Willis Mary Cory

T O

not publish a letter without the verbal consent of

W R I T E : 512 E. Green St.

the writer prior to publication date. Buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, Illinois administration, faculty or students.

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in whole or in part, the views of the University of

MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

summer sTuDIO

B U Z Z

E M A I L : buzz@readbuzz.com

Champaign, IL 61820 C A L L : 217.337.3801

June 5-July 1

333.6280

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come and get it

weekahead Complete calendar listings on page 7

what to expect on

thursday 28

friday 29

saturday 30

13 Thursdays

Angels & Demons Lecture Night: The Science Revealed

IMC Benefit

Rediscover Campustown with discounts at varying campus businesses each Thursday throughout the summer. For information on participating locations, visit www. cucampustown.com

Join University physicists as they describe the real science behind events in the film Angels & Demons. This free event will be held at 141 Loomis Lab from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.

The Independent Media Center will host an evening of live dance, music from Mordechai in the Mirror, video, installation and art exhibition from 8:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. There is a $3 suggested donation.

the217.com Food: Tired of the same old sandwich for lunch every day? Check out the new column “Gourmet To-Go” to revitalize your sammy.

Art: Read a review of KAM’s new “Vivid Lines in Graphic Times” exhibit.

Movies:

sunday 31

monday 1

tuesday 2

Third Annual Sow’s Ear Challenge

Belly Dance 101

Share Your Books Using Shelfari

Visit the Sleepy Creek Vineyard for the final display date of the Third Annual Sow’s Ear Challenge to see what was created out of previously used cardboard. Admission is free for the open event from noon to 5 p.m.

From 6 p.m. to 7 p.m., the Leonhard Recreation Center will host an introductory belly dance class, teaching basic moves such as snake arms, shimmies and traveling steps.

Learn how to use Shelfari to create a virtual bookshelf to show off your books, see what friends are reading and discover new books at this workshop at the Champaign Public Library. The hands-on class will take place from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m.

Look for Reviews of Up and Drag Me to Hell on Saturday.

Community: Now that you know what Twitter is, find out how to use it on Monday.

let it out

Likes & Gripes Michell Eloy Community Editor LIKES

wednesday 3

1. Spontaneous runs through water fountains: There is no greater thing than living in the moment and no better way to do it than by drenching yourself in public places, clothing and all. 2. Ribs: They’re finger-lickin’ good. 3. Starfish: Though technically an echinoderm and not a fish, they are by far the most aesthetically pleasing marine creatures.

Open Stage Comedy Night Test out your comedy skills during open stage comedy night at Memphis on Main. Sign-up is at 8 p.m. with performances beginning at 8:30 p.m. There is a $2 cover charge.

Brittany Black 217 Calendar Editor GRIPES Lonely Trailer performs at the Play or Pose Reunion show at the Highdive last Sunday. Photo by Kate Lamy

e d i t o r ’ s n o t e by Tommy Trafton The one thing that has kept me sane (or sometimes insane) amidst all my studying and work has been music. Before coming to CU, I spent all my free time in drumlines, jazz bands, concert bands and steel drum bands. So the scariest part of coming to ChampaignUrbana for me three years ago as a freshman wasn’t the cafeteria food or the mandatory rape awareness classes. I was more concerned about whether or not there would be kids to play music with, stages to play it on and crowds to listen to it with. And surprisingly enough, for the amount of music that we have in town between the College of Music and all the resident DJs www.the217.com

and rock ‘n rollers, the culture was actually pretty invisible to me. Thankfully, buzz is a print magazine, providing students a false hope of keeping dry as they find an issue, open it up over their heads and run to class in the pouring rain. As they walk into lecture, they’ll toss the issue in the aisles, and if lecture is boring enough, others will pick up the wet copies from the ground and browse through them. At least this is how I passed time in American History as a freshman, and it’s thanks to buzz’s music section, then called “Listen, Hear,” and Mike Ingram’s Sound Revue that I realized there actually were a ton of people making noise around town. Of course, I didn’t know what the hell Ingram was talking about half the time as a newcomer to the

town, but it told me where to find live music and at least familiarized me with a bunch of local names. The reason I’m taking up space to tell you about this isn’t to promote buzz as the source for local music. But this week’s issue does mark the end of Ingram’s four-year stint as the CU Sound Revue columnist (in buzz years, that’s like a couple decades when you consider our turnover). Because the column has always served as an open invitation for anyone to come to a show and get involved with the vibrant scene here, buzz wants to keep it going, and while I’ll definitely miss Ingram’s ramblings and rants, I would like someone to take his spot. If you’re interested, drop by the buzz office at 512 E. Green or e-mail Ingram or me at buzz@readbuzz or forgottenwords@gmail.com with questions. And thanks, Mike, for the column.

1. Flakes: Certain people who decide not to respond to text messages randomly because they “don’t text” or “have a text quota.” 2. Obnoxiously loud books on tape: The ‘apparent’ new fad of listening to a book on tape full blast while slowly cruising on Green Street in a convertible for everyone’s listening pleasure. 3. Senior Irony: My first day of summer school classes, which directly followed my commencement/graduation ceremony.

MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

weekahead Complete calendar listings on page 7

what to expect on

thursday 28

friday 29

saturday 30

13 Thursdays

Angels & Demons Lecture Night: The Science Revealed

IMC Benefit

Rediscover Campustown with discounts at varying campus businesses each Thursday throughout the summer. For information on participating locations, visit www. cucampustown.com

Join University physicists as they describe the real science behind events in the film Angels & Demons. This free event will be held at 141 Loomis Lab from 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.

the217.com Food: Tired of the same old sandwich for lunch every day? Check out the new column “Gourmet To-Go” to revitalize your sammy.

Art: Read a review of KAM’s new “Vivid Lines in Graphic Times” exhibit.

Movies:

sunday 31

monday 1

tuesday 2

Third Annual Sow’s Ear Challenge

Belly Dance 101

Share Your Books Using Shelfari

From 6 p.m. to 7 p.m., the Leonhard Recreation Center will host an introductory belly dance class, teaching basic moves such as snake arms, shimmies and traveling steps.

Look for Reviews of Up and Drag Me to Hell on Saturday.

Community: Now that you know what Twitter is, find out how to use it on Monday.

let it out

Likes & Gripes Michell Eloy Community Editor LIKES

wednesday 3

Open Stage Comedy Night Test out your comedy skills during open stage comedy night at Memphis on Main. Sign-up is at 8 p.m. with performances beginning at 8:30 p.m. There is a $2 cover charge.

Brittany Black 217 Calendar Editor GRIPES Lonely Trailer performs at the Play or Pose Reunion show at the Highdive last Sunday. Photo by Kate Lamy

MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

food & drink

Fancy Farmland Fare

Slow & Steady

Wins the Race Bane Family Meats is no “fast food” by Sabrina Santucci

Prairie Fruits Farm & Creamery features “Dinners on the Farm” by Katya Cummins Prairie Fruits Farm & Creamery, LLC — founded by Wes Jarrell and Leslie Cooperband in 2003 as one of Illinois’ first farmstead cheese-making facilities that also raises and sells their own Nubian goats and a variety of fruits — invites the community of Urbana-Champaign to share in the experience by attending “Dinners on the Farm.” Started last August, “Dinners on the Farm” is conducted in the same trattoria fashion as in Italy, where dinners are often taken outside and prepared with seasonal, local and on-hand ingredients. After a guided tour of Prairie Fruits Farm, diners are led to two long and elegantly dressed tables. These tables are settled in an open-grass area where 40 people can comfortably enjoy their organically and prepaid meal as well as one another’s company. In the chance of rain, a gazebo is constructed, and meals commence as scheduled from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. Meals, crafted with the help of Culinary In-

stitute of America-trained executive chef Alisa DeMarco, vary from weekend to weekend, while prices range from 45 to 100 dollars. “The idea behind ‘Dinners on the Farm,’” DeMarco said, “is to provide a venue to showcase our food and local satiability, promote the Slow Food movement and to provide an atmosphere of conviviality that brings the community together.” May 30’s meal is entitled “Celebrating Spring” ($70) and promises what the Web site calls “an explosion of spring flavors like lamb, ramps (wild leeks), spring greens, sweet turnips, asparagus, rhubarb and strawberries.” The weekend of July 11 (“The Whole Hog,” $100) will be prepared by award-winning chef Paul Virant (of Vie Restaurant in Western Springs, Ill.). “We like to bring in outside chefs,” said Sarah Hess, a part-time chef at the farm. “They’ve usually heard about our movement and want to help promote it.”

Other meals include: July 15 “Steak, Smoke and Fire” ($70), August 18 “Fiesta Mexicana” ($70), August 20 “Local Game” ($70), September 12 “An Illinois Fish Tale” ($100), September 26 “The Hundred Yard Sale” ($70) and October 11 “Native American Harvest Dinner” ($45). The meals “A Vegetarian Feast” and “Mediterranean Feast on the Farm,” scheduled for June 13 and June 28, respectively, are already sold out. “The Elmore clan is looking forward to this again this year!” reads a comment posted by Susan Elmore on the Prairie Fruit Web site, where meals can be reserved and paid for by credit card. Prairie Fruits Farm & Creamery is located at 4410 N. Lincoln Ave. Anyone interested in purchasing a meal or finding out more can visit the Web site at http://www. prairiefruits.com.

Photos by Rebekah Nelson.

MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

David Bane, owner of Bane Family Meats, is playing a major part in bringing “slow food” to the Champaign-Urbana area. The Slow Food movement is a growing international movement that advocates food traditions around the world and highly supports local production practices. The movement was founded in 1989 by Carlo Petrini in Italy. “It is the opposite of fast food,” Bane said. “Food traditions are very important in culture, and [we believe] there is more value in genetic diversity than similarity.” The movement’s goals are to warn against pesticides, lobby against government genetic engineering and instigate ethical buying. Since its establishment, it has expanded globally to more than 83,000 members in 122 countries. The Banes have represented the United States in the annual slow food conference held in Torino, Italy. On the homefront, the Bane family continues to support the movement. “The vast majority of [farm animals] are raised in confinement where they don’t have access to soil, grass and sunlight. The [farmers] control the environment,” Bane explained. This, of course, results in lower quality meat. To do their part, the Bane family has for many years raised their animals free-range with no chemicals, no antibiotics and no hormones involved. “We want our animals to always have access to sunlight and plants,” Bane said. Despite the costs, the feed is locally grown at a feed mill in Ogden. Another way the Banes distance their business from the way of fast food is how they promote their products. Most of the Bane customers came to be by word-of-mouth from friends or family. Though they have sold to a few grocery stores and restaurants, most of the customers are people they know personally, resulting in their meat usually being cheaper and of much higher quality than the competition. While right now, they offer beef, pork and poultry, they are open to suggestions. “The main thing we offer is flexibility,” Bane said. “If you are interested in a specific product, we will be willing to work with you.” come and get it

buzz

Let’s Talk About

Proposition 8.

A Q&A with LGBT Resource Center Director Leslie Morrow by Michell Eloy

On Tuesday, the state of California voted to uphold Proposition 8, a constitutional amendment adopted by voters in November that restricts marriage in the state to being between only a man and a woman. buzz sat down with LGBT Resource Center Director Leslie Morrow to find out what exactly Proposition 8 is, what it means for the LGBT community and to talk about the changes that have taken place within the community in the past few months. buzz: What exactly is Proposition 8? Morrow: Proposition 8 is language that would ban same-sex marriage and would restrict marriage in the state of California to that of one man and one woman. buzz: California voted on Tuesday to uphold Proposition 8. What does that mean for the LGBT community? Morrow: It’s upsetting. I’ve been talking to a lot of people and reading various blogs. It was expected. What I’ve heard over and over is, “How could they possibly overturn the will of voters?” At the same time, they are allowing those 18,000 couples already married before this Prop. 8 debacle for their marriages to remain valid. That is encouraging, and I think that is going to build momentum for overturning Prop. 8 and eventually the Defense of Marriage Act. It is a setback, but I think it’s also a rallying point for many of us in the LGBT community to remain vigilant. buzz: What did the California State Constitution say before, and how has Proposition 8 changed it? Morrow: Proposition 8 came about because California legalized same-sex marriage. After reading their constitution, they felt that current laws were in violation to same-sex couples based on the equality clause. Groups got together and mounted a campaign, which they entitled Prop. 8, to petition the state of California and allow the people to speak using their language as to whether or not the California Supreme Court should make that decision or it should be made by the people of California through the popular vote. buzz: Why is California such an important state? Morrow: For so long, people have looked to California and New York, especially where LGBT rights

are concerned, as kind of the leader, as the more progressive, as the more liberal-leaning states. After the November elections, there was shock. There was a huge concern that it was setting back the political rights that the LGBT community has fought so hard for. Now, I’ve seen a lot of conversation that maybe we have to look to the reality that [California] is no longer the leader, that there are other states. buzz: Vermont became the last state to legalize same-sex marriage, and other states have civil union bills in the works. What is the difference between a civil union and same-sex marriage? Morrow: Basically, because of the Defense of Marriage Act, which passed in 1996, that is federal legislation that denies federal benefits to same-sex couples…As far as same-sex marriage and civil union, the big issue has been the word “marriage” and what that has meant culturally, socially and politically in society for years. That’s been the argument. [Couples] felt that having it called a civil union was still conferring a second-class status. buzz: A civil union bill is in the works in Illinois. Do you see any obstacles in getting that passed? Morrow: From what I can understand, [the bill] passed the first step. There didn’t appear to be much opposition. I really do think Iowa is key, not only for Illinois but for other states. It displaces that myth about the Farm Belt or rural states not being as progressive. I think Iowa’s passage will greatly help. buzz: As more states legalize same-sex marriage, what has been the impact on the LGBT community? Morrow: Particularly for LGBT students, for so long, [marriage] has never been a possibility.

Curbing the Flood by Eric Nyberg Nate Dubravec wants to stop the flood. A fish and wildlife conservation major at the University of Illinois, Dubravec’s idea for a final project could leave his mark on the seasonally flooded McCullough Creek in Urbana’s Meadowbrook Park. Dubravec’s proposal entails the construction of oxbows, or small, U-shaped lakes, along points on McCullough Creek to reduce the swell of the river during stormy spring and summer months. Major flooding due to melted snow and heavy rains often backs up the park stream. The water is then flushed back upstream into nearby park neighbors’ yards and the Clark-Lindsey Village property. Residents have complained about the flooding issues. With the creation of the oxbows, water would dump into them instead of backflowing into residential areas. www.the217.com

The Urbana Park District (UPD) recognized a need for improvement at the park’s stream site. They designated the stream corridor within Meadowbrook Park as a project site for a group of Illinois students to work on over the course of the spring 2009 semester. Dubravec was one of them. “This project was for a restoration ecology class called NRES (Natural Resources and Environmental Science) 420,” Dubravec said. “All students in my concentration have to take it.” Together, the students worked on a proposal to present to the UPD that could positively affect the park. They split the work up into categories (such as soil, hydrology, burning and deer control) among themselves. Each student took charge of work in one category.

Leslie Morrow, director of the LGBT Resource Center, Bethany Socie, Women’s Resources Center and Lyndon Stewart, assistant director, right. Photo by Abby Toms.

We’ve had conversations about it. It’s hard for them to think about it because they are focused on school and their studies. But to present a bigger picture, societal attitudes have long affected LGBT student identity development, and honestly, quite negatively. With the passage of same-sex mar-

riage in many of these states, it shows a growing trend to more progressive behaviors and beliefs that being gay is not negative, is not alternative. It’s about being who you are and embracing that part of yourself. So long story short, this is just great news for the community.

UI student developing unique method to deal with flooding in Urbana Dubravec’s focus was hydrology, or dealing with the flow of the stream water in McCullough Creek, which flows into the Embarras River and eventually dumps into the Mississippi River Basin. Dubravec said he was given free rein to come up with a solution. The oxbows were his original idea, and to his knowledge, no one else had made them anywhere else. “After calling professors and experts in the field to see if it had been done anywhere else, I just had to come up with it,” he said. “This whole project was basically a product of my imagination.” If Dubravec’s proposal is acted upon by the UPD, he may have his name attached to his portion of the project. He wanted to build two oxbows, naming one of them after his professor,

Tony Endress, and the other after himself. Meadowbrook Park, located at the southeast corner of Race Street and Windsor Road in Urbana, is a 130-acre property managed by the UPD. The park is frequented by Urbana residents coming to enjoy the Praire Playground, walking paths, flower gardens and educational restoration sites, such as the 80-acre preserve of restored tallgrass prairie. If built, the oxbows would naturally form small habitats for new plants and animals that could be introduced to Meadowbrook and appreciated by the park’s visitors. “You could introduce salamanders, woodpeckers, kingfishers and other animals,” said Dubravec. “I would make the oxbows to attract those species, and people might be lucky enough to see them.” MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

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Used with permission from Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. Photo by Doane Gregory

I wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lie. I had hopes for this movie. I maybe even rooted for it a little. I shouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve known better. Although Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian starts off with some entertaining potential, the rest of the ďŹ lm lacks much promise. What should be a goofy, witty and just plain fun sequel turns into a repetitive, predictable (and dare I say slightly painful?) experience. In the follow-up to 2006â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Night at the Museum, Larry Daley (Ben Stiller) has moved on from night guard of the Museum of Natural History to CEO of an inventing corporation, responsible for gadgets such as a glowin-the-dark ďŹ&#x201A;ashlight. Paying a little tribute to his past, Daley returns to the museum only to discover that it is being closed for renovations, and the rambunctious group of artifacts that come to life only after-hours is being transferred to the Smithsonian in Washington D.C. for safekeeping. Seems simple enough, but of course, the mischievous capuchin Dexter has to pull an

outrageous scheme, taking the ancient Egyptian tablet that allows them all to come to life to the capital city with them and thus provoking chaos among millions upon millions of artifacts. Daley, with the help of newcomers Amelia Earhart (Amy Adams), General Custer (Bill Hader) and the original museum crew must defeat the crazed Egyptian pharaoh Kahmunrah (Hank Azaria), who is determined to get his hands on the tablet in order to unleash the forces of the underworld. Will Daley succeed before sunrise? Does he stand a chance against the likes of Ivan the Terrible, Al Capone and Napoleon? Will he renounce CEO glory and return to his simple museum gig, following Teddy Rooseveltâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s (Robin Williams) advice about ďŹ nding the key to happiness by doing what he loves? You take a guess. So yeah, the plot is that predictable. But sometimes you can make up for predictability with witty dialogue

Hidden

The Night of the Hunter

gem

Carmikeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Stimulus Tuesdays: $1 Popcorn & $1 Drink Every Tuesday â&#x20AC;&#x201C; STARTING FRIDAYâ&#x20AC;&#x201C; UP 3D PG (1:56) DLP 3D SURCHARGE WILL APPLY/NO DISCOUNT TICKETS ACCEPTED (11:00 Fri-Sun) 12:15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 12:45 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 1:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 2:40 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 3:10 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5:05 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5:35 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 8:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:25 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:45 (10:30 PM & 12:00 AM Fri & Sat) UP 2D PG (1:56) DLP (11:30 Fri-Sun) 2:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10:00 DRAG ME TO HELL PG13 (1:59) DLP (11:00 Fri-Sun) 1:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:30 (12:00 AM Fri & Sat) NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM 2 PG (2:05) DLP (11:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 11:30 FriSun) 1:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 1:45 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 2:15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 3:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5:50 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 8:15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:40 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10:00 (11:00 PM Fri & Sat) DANCE FLICK PG12 (1:43) DLP (11:00 Fri-Sun) 1:15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 3:15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5:15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:15 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:30 (12:00 AM Fri & Sat) TERMINATOR SALVATION PG13 (2:15) DLP (11:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 11:30 Fri-Sun) 1:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 1:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 2:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 8:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:35 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10:00 (11:00 PM Fri & Sat) ANGELS AND DEMONS PG13 (2:40) DLP (11:00 Fri-Sun) 2:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 5:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 8:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:30 (11:00 PM Fri & Sat) STAR TREK PG13 (2:27) DLP (11:00 Fri-Sun) 1:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 1:45 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 8:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10:00 (11:00 PM Fri & Sat) X-MEN ORIGINS WOLVERINE PG13 (2:07) DLP (11:00 FriSun) 1:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10:00 THE GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST PG13 (2:01) DLP (11:00 Fri-Sun) 1:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 4:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:00 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 9:30 (12:00 AM Fri & Sat) MONSTERS VS ALIENS 3D PG (1:54) DLP 3D SURCHARGE WILL APPLY/NO DISCOUNT TICKETS ACCEPTED (11:00 Fri-Sun) 1:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 7:00

MAY 28 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; JUN 03 09

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Would you like me to tell you the little story of right-hand/left-hand?â&#x20AC;? asks Reverend Harry Powell (Robert Mitchum) in the most famous scene of Charles Laughtonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s The Night of the Hunter. The knuckles of the reverendâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right hand are tattooed with the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;LOVE,â&#x20AC;? and the knuckles of his left bear the word â&#x20AC;&#x153;HATE.â&#x20AC;? In a strange and violent play, the hands wrestle each other as the reverend proclaims â&#x20AC;&#x153;LOVEâ&#x20AC;? as the ultimate victor of his allegory. The irony here comes from the fact that the good reverend is a fraud and often ranked as one of the greatest cinematic villains of all time. The Night of the Hunter (1955) tells a surprisingly dark and violent tale of greed, betrayal and sin in the Depression-era South. After the loss of their father, a bank robber whose treasure is said to be hidden on his property, the Harper children ďŹ nd themselves faced with the unspeakable evil of Harry Powell. A religious fanatic and violent criminal, Powell marries Mrs. Harper and sets off a chain of events that threatens the lives of the children and highlights religious perversion. Dark and noir-esque, The Night of the Hunter is visually stunning, featuring long, nightmarish shadows in stark contrast with eerie white

by Sarah Gorr walls and the kind of monstrous and unsettling framing that no doubt inspired modern masters like Tim Burton. The ďŹ lm does have some faults, particularly when it comes to the plausibility of the plot. Occasionally, the characters appear outlandish and their actions seem frustrating, but itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easy to look past these minor details when overwhelmed by the fantastic performance of Robert Mitchum. His dialect is powerful, seductive and subtly terrifying as he brilliantly exudes an aura of attraction and dominance. He is matched only by co-star Lillian Gish, who appears only in the ďŹ lmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ďŹ nal act. She is a symbol of goodness and earnestness as well as the perfect adversary for Powellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sinister nature. In a hauntingly beautiful scene, the two play off each other in the moonlight as Gish is silhouetted holding a shotgun to keep Powell at bay, and they enter into an unnatural duet of the spiritual â&#x20AC;&#x153;Lean on Jesus.â&#x20AC;? The Night of the Hunter seems ages ahead of its time in the way it seamlessly blends innocence and evil, borrowing techniques from expressionism and ďŹ lm noir. Cinematically spectacular and featuring memorable performances, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s haunting in ways many of todayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ďŹ lms could only hope to be.

and a great cast, right? Wrong. Unfortunately, this movie canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really boast either. I will say that the return of the entire cast is one of the ďŹ lmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s few redeeming qualities, but even the actors, who normally do awesome work, canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really make up for their poorly written characters. Amy Adams strangely isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fun to watch, Wilson and Hader become bad stereotypes and Jonah Hill is restrained to ďŹ ve minutes of screen time. The slapstick humor just isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t funny this time around, mainly because the writing takes no risks. It almost felt as though director Shawn Levy was trying to see how many talking Smithsonian artifacts he could squeeze into just less than two hours. Oscar the Grouch and Darth Vader somehow manage to weasel their way in. And then thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the Jonas Brothers. Oh, yes, the Jonas Brothers. They voice ďŹ&#x201A;ying cupid statues that decorate one of the museum fountains. Oh, and did I mention they were singing ďŹ&#x201A;ying cupid statues? Of course, sequels are never as good as their predecessors, and Night at the Museum is certainly no masterpiece, but it does have a special charm about it that Battle of the Smithsonian just lacks. I hate to be completely negative; after all, there were a few genuine laugh-out-loud moments, but they were scarce. Ten-year-olds will deďŹ nitely enjoy this movie, but, simply stated, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s overdone. The newness and excitement that may have been sparked with the original ďŹ&#x201A;ick have ďŹ zzled, and Battle of the Smithsonian is probably one of the summer ďŹ lms you can hold off on, at least until DVD.

YouTube Pick of the Week

Smosh: â&#x20AC;&#x153;Anthonyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Deathâ&#x20AC;? by Liza Booker If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a Smosh fan or familiar with any of the Smosh videos, then you already know that the comedy duo has millions of followers. They have a ton of videos for you to watch with random but interesting plots. If you have already seen one of their more famous videos, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Pokemon Song,â&#x20AC;? then you know how random it can get. In one of their more recent videos, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Anthonyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Death,â&#x20AC;? the two men, Anthony Padilla and Ian Hecox go on an Easter egg hunt, and somehow, Anthony dies by stepping on a land mine. The fact that the video is so random is what makes it so amusing and fun to watch.

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THURS, MAY 28

FRI, MAY 29

live music

Beat Kitchen with Me, Him and Charlie Miller & Mind’s Eye Canopy Club, U, 9pm Hopewell featuring Elsinore, John Hoeffleur (of the Beauty Shop), Light Pollution and Mordechai in the Mirror Highdive, C, 9pm, $7 Geovanti’s Live Band Geovanti’s, C, 10pm Eureka Brown and Vanattica Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

Happy Hour and Live Music Silvercreek, U, 6pm Road Song The Clark Bar, C, 6pm Live Dueling Piano Show 88 Broadway, U, 8pm Velvet Touch live at Hubers Hubers West End Store, C, 8pm Tons Fun Band Fat City Bar & Grill, C, 8:30pm Corn Desert Ramblers Iron Post, U, 9pm, $4 Mind’s Eye w/ Point of Fire debut show Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $7 Kilborn Alley Live at Po’ Boys Po’ Boys, U, 9pm Mike Ingram & Dawna Nelson Bentley’s Pub, C, 9pm Chrissy Corson Trio Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm

dj Country Night w/ DJ Halfdead and Free Line Dance Lessons from Scotty Van Zant Radmaker’s Rock & Roll Tavern, Tolono, 8pm DJ Belly Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm Goth Night at Clark Bar The Clark Bar, C, 10pm

CALENDAR

lectures

karaoke

open mic

Angels & Demons Lecture Night: The Science Revealed Loomis Lab, U, 7pm

Dragon Karaoke with Paul Faber CJ Dane’s, Tolono, 7pm RockStar Karaoke featuring DJ Switch Geo’s, U, 9pm RockStar Karaoke featuring Matt Fear Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm

Dragon Karaoke with Paul Faber CJ Dane’s, Tolono, 7pm

MCJS Karaoke American Legion Post 24, C, 7:30pm Dragon Karaoke The Clark Bar, C, 9pm RockStar Karaoke featuring Matt Fear Mike ‘n’ Molly’s, C, 10pm

Open Mic Night w/ Steve & Lovejoy White Horse Inn, C, 10pm Open Mic Night w/ Mike Ingram Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

recreation Spring Prairie Skies William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 7pm, Adults $4; Children, Seniors, Students $3 Bad Astronomy: Myths & Misconceptions William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 8pm, Adults $4; Children, Seniors, Students $3

SAT, MAY 30 live music

Live Dueling Piano Show 88 Broadway, U, 8pm Dinner w/ Panache Jim Gould Restaurant, C, 5pm Jonesful, Super Killer Fire, Trash City Rockers, & Leading Liberty performing live at karaoke dj Radmaker’s Karaoke with DJ Bange Country Dancing at Radmaker’s Rock & Roll Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., Bradley’s II Tavern, Tolono, 8pm, $6 U, 8pm Bradley’s II, C, 9pm, $5 IMC Benefit featuring DJ Hollywood Karaoke Top 40 live music, art, video and It’ll Do 2, C, 8pm Chester Street, C, 9pm, $3 modern dance RockStar Karaoke featur- DJ LEGTWO and DJ Belly Urbana-Champaign Ining Crazy Craig Radio Maria, C, 10pm dependent Media Center, Senator’s Bar & Grill, DJ Delayney U, 8:30pm, $3 suggested Savoy, 9pm Highdive, C, 10pm, $5 donation G-Force Karaoke Back Paiges Memphis on Main, C, 9pm karaoke Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm Rock Star Karaoke featur- RockStar Karaoke featur- Surfabilly Freakout ing Karaoke Opie ing Crazy Craig presents Surfy Murphy Bentley’s Pub, C, 9:30pm Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaBeach Riot RockStar Karaoke featur- voy, 9pm Mike ‘n’ Molly’s, C, 9pm, $5 ing DJ Switch MCJS Karaoke DJs Mike Andreas Kapsalis & Rock’s, C, 10pm and Cheryl Goran Ivonavic Guitar Duo Senator’s Bar & Grill, Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $10 recreation Savoy, 9pm Brandon T. Washington & Drinking Liberally Jesse Greenlee art exhibit Esquire Lounge Inc., C, Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm 6:30pm Third Annual Sow’s Ear dj A gathering of liberal Challenge thinkers over drinks. Sleepy Creek Vineyards, Dance Pop Star-gazing in the parks Fairmount, 10am Chester Street, C, 9pm, $3 Meadowbrook Park, U, See the interpretations Saturday Night 8:30pm of artists and creative Throwdown featuring types who took the DJ Mertz lgbt challenge to construct Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm Live and Let Live GLBT something interesting Kosmo at Soma Alcoholics Anonymous out of out previously Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm Meeting used cardboard. Show is DJ Tim Williams McKinley Presbyterian displayed through May Highdive, C, 10pm Church and Foundation, 31 during normal busiRadio Salsa w/ DJ Juan C, 6:30pm ness hours. Radio Maria, C, 10pm, $3 www.the217.com

THE217.COM/ karaoke

RockStar Karaoke featuring DJ Switch The Corner Tavern, Monticello, 8pm open mic Karaoke Party at It’ll Do 2 Anything Goes Open It’ll Do 2, C, 8pm Mic Night hosted ”G” Force Karaoke by Acoustic Duo: Po’ Boys, U, 9pm game-playing Jeremy Harper & Jim The Legendary Karaoke open mic Kates Trivia Dinner Night w/The Outlaw Memphis on Main, C, Open Mic Night Canopy Club, U, 7pm White Horse Inn, C, 9pm markets 8pm 88 Broadway, U, 9pm Wednesday Night kids & families Karaoke with Paul Faber’s Market at the Square stage stage Lincoln Square Village, Babies’ Lap Time Dragon Productions U, 7am The Truth Ministries Monday Night Improv Urbana Free Library, U, 9:45am La Gourmandise Bistro on Urbana-Champaign InIllini Union Courtyard Tuesday Twos Main, U, 9pm art exhibit dependent Media Center, Cafe, U, 8pm Champaign Public Library, C, RockStar Karaoke Third Annual Sow’s Ear U, 10am 9:45am, 10:30am, 11:15am featuring Crazy Craig kids & families Enjoy stories, songs and Geovanti’s, C, 10pm Challenge art exhibit Sleepy Creek Vineyards, O Baby! movement activities for Fairmount, 10am Third Annual Sow’s Ear Champaign Public Library, 2 year-olds with a parent open mic Challenge C, 9:45am, 10:30am or grandparent. No reg- Open Mic Night w/ recreation Sleepy Creek Vineyards, Drop in any Monday for istration. AGHBAB Bad Astronomy: Myths & Fairmount, 12pm 20 minutes of lap bounc- Goodnight Storyshop Green St. Cafe, C, 9pm Misconceptions ing, nursery rhymes, Champaign Public Library, Open-Mic Night recreation William M. Staerkel music activities, easy C, 6:30pm Radio Maria, C, 10:30pm Planetarium, C, 8pm, Sunday Morning Bird listening, and play time lgbt stage Adults $4; Children, Walks for the littlest ones. No Seniors, Students $3 Anita Purves Nature Cen- registration. Rainbow Coffeehouse Open Stage Comedy Night ter, U, 7:30am Children’s Story Time Wesley-United MethMemphis on Main, C, 9pm, $2 kids & families Tolono Public Library, To- odist Church & Wesley fundraisers markets Princess Social lono, 10:30am Foundation, U, 6:30pm Savoy Recreational FriendShop Used Book Market on Main body/mind/spirit Mahomet Community Center, Savoy, 2:30pm, Store Open TUES, JUNE 2 $15/Savoy residents, Champaign Public Library, Tarot Card Readings Center, Mahomet, 3pm live music $20/Non-residents C, 1:30pm Carmon’s Restaurant, C, kids & families Come dressed in your The Library Friends sell Ave Marling, John Hoef- 5:30pm, $15 most fabulous gown as we used books for $1 or less, fleur, Zack Grant, Megan After School Bingo enjoy pastries and punch. plus CDs, videos and Johns WEDS, JUNE 3 Tolono Public Library, There will be games and DVDs for $1.50, along Iron Post, U, 7pm, $4 Tolono, 3:30pm live music crafts suited for a princess, with unique gift items. Children can come and dj and all princesses will All sales benefit the Donnie Heitler solo piano enjoy playing bingo and receive a keepsake photo. library. Free Love Tuesday with Great Impasta, U, 6pm win some cool prizes. DJ Motion Rocket Science at Duct Work SUN, MAY 31 MON, JUNE 1 Boltini Lounge, C, 9:30pm Senator’s Inn Pub Savoy Recreational Senator’s Bar & Grill, Center, Savoy, 5:30pm, live music live music karaoke Savoy, 8pm $25 Savoy residents; $32 Brunch w/ Panache Jazz Jam Hosted by The MCJS Karaoke Black N Blue (Dance Rock Non-residents Jim Gould Restaurant, C, MRS Trio American Legion Post 24, Show) Babies’ Lap Time: 10am Iron Post, U, 7pm C, 7:30pm It’ll Do 2, C, 8pm Moonlight Edition Live Music at Carmon’s Zmick and friends G-Force Karaoke Urbana Free Library, U, dj Carmon’s Restaurant, C, present Monday Night Memphis on Main, C, 6:30pm 5:30pm Miracle 9pm Country Dancing at This program of songs, Hessel Park Concert Canopy Club, U, 9pm RockStar Karaoke Bradley’s II books and rhymes is for our Hessel Park, C, 6:30pm The Gold Tops featuring Crazy Craig Bradley’s II, C, 9pm, $5 youngest patrons, ages birth Come out to hear winning Memphis on Main, C, Geo’s, U, 9pm Hillbilly Humpday to 24 months with an adult. bands from the Battle of 10pm Dragon Karaoke Radmaker’s Rock & Roll No registration is required the Bands! Rusalka and The Clark Bar, C, 9pm Tavern, Tolono, 8pm for this free program. dj Shoompie both perform. RM Entertainment w/ Weekly Top 40 support groups Don’t Ask performs live Industrial Night Randy Miller Chester Street, C, 9pm Heartland Gallery, U, 7pm Chester Street, C, 9pm, Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Physical Challenge: Coming Out Support Group Surreal Deal performs $2 RockStar Karaoke An Indie Rock Dance Illini Union, U, 7pm live every Sunday featuring DJ Switch Party Safe place to listen, talk and Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, Bentley’s Pub, C, Canopy Club, U, 9pm learn about sexual identity 8pm 9:30pm and coming out issues. MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

art

A Turntable of Designers Circles Boutique aims to feature a constant ﬂux of fresh designers by Margaret Carrigan

Circles owner Danelle Jameson (above). Photo by James Kyung.

Circles Boutique on Walnut Street in downtown Champaign is a fashion haven for members of CU who savor cool, laid-back urban style. The boutique has been around for about 20 years, keeping the area on top of the trends with hot handbags, dresses, tops, shoes and jewelry. Danelle Jameson, the store’s owner, started as the store’s manager in 1993. Just ﬁve years later, she purchased the boutique and amped it up to the comfortable yet chic shop it is today. Circles has always highlighted clothes fashioned from natural fabrics, but Jameson has upped the ante by expanding its merchandise. “I used the basis of what the store used to be and took it in a more designer direction,” Jameson said. Yet she maintains a skillful balance between designer exclusivity and homegrown availability. “Everything Circles was is still very important to me,” she said, emphasizing that her stock focuses on eco-friendly designers who utilize natural materials and sustainable production methods. Jameson’s goal is to feature a variety of designers and styles. The boutique hosts not only pieces by fashion moguls such as renowned, frisky New York designer Betsey Johnson but also various up-and-coming designers’ work. Yoana Baraschi, one of the newer designers car-

ried at Circles, was a Betsey Johnson protégé and has recently exploded onto the fashion scene after releasing her own line in 2002. Baraschi’s designs have outfitted celebrities such as Heidi Klum, Halle Berry and Lauren Conrad. Also available at the boutique is Isda & Co., a San Francisco-based line that opened its first store in 1989 and gradually spread eastward, offering eco- and animal-friendly fashions designed by Isda Funari. But, as Jameson mentioned, Circles’ entire inventory rotates frequently and fervently, so there are always different designers gracing the store’s shelves. An avid traveler, Jameson tries to bring back something to add to her store from everywhere she goes. “I’ve been everywhere,” she laughs, “Ireland, London — I try to go there at least once a year — New York City, Las Vegas, Indonesia…” The list goes on, but it’s hard to miss the multicultural merchandise and trimmings of the ever-evolving store. The boutique also supplies CU’s fashion-conscious with ample opportunities to get their fashion fix. Circles strives to offer at least one event every month or so, usually a fashion or trunk show in which the latest inventory or a certain designer is showcased. This summer, the store will be joining forces with fellow downtown busi-

nesses Ippatsu Salon and Bacaro Restaurant and Wine Lounge to put on the second annual “Front Ro” fundraiser. Hosted at Bacaro, the event will be saloon-themed, offering whiskey tastings and wild western cuisine. Circles will style the serving staff, and Ippatsu will coif them. Set for June 27, the cost is $50 per plate, covering food and cocktails. $20 of the cost will be donated to 40 North, Champaign County’s Arts, Culture and Entertainment Council. Circles is planning on relocating soon, although Jameson is not sure where to yet. “We just can’t afford to be closed for that long,” she said. “I think it will be an easier transition for everyone, just moving.” However, patrons should keep their eyes peeled for moving and grand opening sales in the near future, as well as exciting new endeavors. “I want to keep the feel of what we have now, but I want to raise the bar,” Jameson said. Although she isn’t sure what these changes include yet, many of which will depend on the location and dynamic of the new location, Jameson says she has lots of ideas, including taking it in an “art-forward” direction by featuring local artists. However, she is quick to mention that clothes will always be top priority. Wherever Circles moves, it’s worth following.

The Prohibition Pig The Blind Pig Brewery’s painted windows evoke a past era by Katya Cummins If you walk down Neil Street in downtown Champaign, you’ll pass a window with a blue pig shooting blue sparks from its center that resemble sun rays, centered in space, surrounded by white stars and a milky cosmos, that invites curiosity and blocks prying eyes from the construction within. This sun-pig icon might be familiar to people who frequent The Blind Pig pub, owned by Chris Knight, on 120 N. Walnut St., Champaign. “The icon,” said Becca Vann, an employee of the Blind Pig, “was done by an artist at the University of Illinois School of Art and Design. Chris Knight put a competition out, and that’s the one that won. It alludes to the Prohibition era, when people would advertise a spectral, a blind lion,

and be able to sell alcohol legally.” First set to open in February but now finally opening today, the atmosphere of the place is shaping up. An echo of the Blind Pig on Walnut, with its bright lights, round wooden tables and high bar, the Brewery is representational of a pub from the 1920s, resembling the laid-back attitude of an old western or the sort of pub one would see in England or Ireland. The same artist who painted the window art for the Blind Pig Brewery also does the window art for The Esquire during the Christmas season.

Photo by Claire Keating.

MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

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music “Use Humor!”

Former CU resident Jon Ginoli spreads powerful message through Pansy Division

by Amanda Shively

Jon Ginoli plays outside of Aroma Café Friday, May 22. Photo by Rebekah Nelson.

“We’re the butt-fuckers of rock and roll, we want to sock it to your hole!” Jon Ginoli is not an apologetic man, and he has no reason to be. As the founding member of queercore standout Pansy Division, Ginoli is familiar with the preconceived notions and social stigmas that surround his music. At the Friday, May 22 Aroma Café book reading and performance, prior to an acoustic rendition of “Pat Me on the Ass,” a clever take on the veiled homosexual tendencies in all levels of sport, Ginoli exclaims, “Use humor! Use humor!” Lyrically witty and undeniably catchy yet still

provocative in nature, the track is a perfect example of the attitude of Ginoli and Pansy Division. Peoria native Ginoli spent 10 years in CU, attending the University and choosing to stay in the area for an extended ﬁve years. “It’s a good place to have a band,” said Ginoli when asked why he chose to stay after school. “[CU]’s a nice area. I always liked it here.” His stop back in town for a book tour for his March 2009 release Deﬂowered: My Life in Pansy Division was also perfectly timed for Sunday, May 24’s Play or Pose Reunion at the Highdive. Across

the country, Ginoli is best known as guitarist and singer for the openly gay Pansy Division. In CU, his name may recall the Outnumbered, the successful “feminist garage rock” band Ginoli sang for in the ’80s. Reuniting for the first time in 22 years for Play or Pose, the Outnumbered represents the roots of Ginoli’s first experience with playing live music, recording and touring. “We haven’t practiced together yet, but I don’t have any expectations [about the show]. We’re going to have fun doing it. I’m not worried about how many people will be there,” Ginoli said. It seems this bit of history with CU is what led a number of audience members to Ginoli’s Aroma Café reading and performance, where he was greeted with familiar smiles and questions about his life in a San Francisco-based gay rock band. On the outside a seemingly unassuming man, Ginoli came alive as he read from Deflowered, recaling his first experience connecting punk music with sexuality. Spouting a list of rock stars from David Bowie to the Sex Pistols, Ginoli explained the unavoidable ambiguity of appearance, attraction and gender in rock. As he shared, until the early ’90s, little had been made of openly gay musicians singing about their issues concerning sexuality, and that’s what drove Ginoli to form Pansy Division. In proper book reading form, Ginoli selected several passages relating an early tour with poppunk superstars Green Day (both prior to and in the midst of the act’s eventual stardom). His tales were humorous and heartwarming and seemed shockingly positive for a topic that tends to in-

cite heated debate. It was when he picked up the acoustic guitar to play several tracks from Pansy Division’s ﬁrst new release in six years, That’s So Gay, that Ginoli was able to truly express what he does. In a decade when sexuality is still an issue that can divide the country, songs like “Twinkie Twinkie Little Star” and “20 Years of Cock (And I’m Never Gonna Stop!)” serve as an example of how music can not only bring people together but allow them to have fun in the process.

a great example. He’s not a jaded has-been or one of those crotchety older musicians who have mostly legitimate gripes but can’t be bothered to do anything to help. He’s the real deal. The real deal in shorts and black socks. And he’d hate me for saying this, but I still think the Ward 7” with “Boom” and “Mustang” on it is one of the best CU releases ever. You can ﬁnd it at Parasol Records. More of a life lesson than anything, I guess: stop talking shit. Sometimes I feel like I’m still in high school. Unhappy that you weren’t booked on a show or that a band left after their set and didn’t stick around to watch the other acts? Say something to that person or band. That person or band might not have even realized they were doing anything bothersome. The number of feuds bouncing around that are built on simple misunderstanding is somewhat embarrassing. Also know that most people who try to act like they know the most really don’t know fuck-all. The number of people who still think that Seth Fein and I have any sort of business relationship

(which hasn’t been the case since somewhere around Pygmalion No. 1, and even then, we just did our own stuff) is hilarious. I realize that I’m not really breaking any new ground here (why start now, amirite? Hey-o!), but what the hell? Most of this stuff I’m sure I’ve fallen victim to myself (hell, I was crazy enough at one point to think that I was going to be a famous songwriter), but I avoided a lot of pitfalls, thanks to guys like Ward, Larry Gates and Brandon T. Washington. It has been an interesting few years of writing about the same things over and over. Hopefully I didn’t offend anyone too much (well, Larry the Cable Guy fans might still be salty). Thanks to Brian McGovern for inspiring my mug shot, and thanks to my tens of readers, especially my mom, who has gone through Lord knows how many ink cartridges printing this crap up. See you around.

Used with permission from Cleis Press.

C U S O U N D R E V I E W by Mike Ingram

Some notes on the CU music scene, part 2 This is a continuation of Mike’s ﬁnal column from last week: Speaking of press, though, you have gotten a bit of a raw deal when it comes to local press. The News-Gazette doesn’t seem to know that there are bands playing at any venues other than the Virginia or Krannert. And that’s not for lack of trying, as several bands regularly try for coverage. It’s possible that the people at the NG are too busy falling over themselves trying to make sure that they don’t present any kind of information that wouldn’t be considered “conservative” and that all of the columnists that actually get a picture next to their columns are old, white men. It’s probably hard work in a fairly diverse place like CU, so don’t hold them not writing up your show against them too much. They were busy. The buzz is only as good as the level of enthusiasm of its writers, and it’s hard to ﬁnd students www.the217.com

who even give a shit enough to ﬁnd anything out about local music, much less a few who want to devote any time to it. But at least it tries and is fairly open to submissions. Oh, and give 107.1 a go, too. You’re probably screwed, but occasionally, a local band will get some serious airplay. WEFT has a sizeable local collection (and is always looking for more), but it’s pretty rare to hear local songs outside of Champaign Local 901 (Mondays at 11 p.m.) or during the live show, WEFT Sessions (Mondays at 10 p.m.). But something’s better than nothing. I’d like to think that this place isn’t as divided and pissy as I often see. There is so much potential ﬂoating around here, and it’s sad to see so many people wasting their time bitching and whining. My main reason for hope in all of this is Ward Gollings. This is one of the nicest guys you’re ever likely to meet, and he has been dealing with bands for years and still seems to love it. I’m not sure I’ve ever heard one bad word said about the guy. He’s still willing to give anyone a try. He’s

—Mike Ingram would love to hear from you at forgottenwords@gmail.com, but you can stop not sending him your show info. MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

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Aug 2009. Classic Building-across from Jimmy John's on Lincoln Ave. Hardwood Floors, Laundry, Call for showing times. 1 BR + Sun Room $550/mo (UF) 1 BR + Den $550/mo (UF) 2 BR $490 (F) Parking $50/mo BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

PRIME CAMPUS

205 EAST HEALEY, C.

502 S. 5th

Available Aug. 2009. Beautiful luxury 1230 sq.ft. 2 or 3 bedrooms townhomes in great location with 2.5 baths, washer/dryers, ceramic tile, ceiling fans, garages. 2 Bdrm $890/ mo, 3 Bdrm $1050. To furnish $50/ mo. additional. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Furnished

609 W. MAIN, U. August 2009. 2 bdrm TownhousesFurnished $475/mo, Unfurnished $600/mo. 2 bdrm apts-Furnished $450/mo. 1 bdrm apts Furnished $425/mo. Parking optional, Central A/C, Carpet, Laundry, Call for showing times BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com BEST VALUE CAMPUS 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 BR. $395 2 BR. $580 3 BR. $750 4 BR. $855 Campus. 367-6626. August 2009

Courtyard on randolph < 713 S. randolph > Now LeasiNg for august 2009

Furnished/Unfurnished 2&3 bdrms. Near campus & downtownfrom $636/mo. Includes direct TV, water, trash, parking, laundry facility, seasonal pool, all apts. have balconies 217-352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

420

901-905-909 S. First (1st & Daniel) 1 bdrm & studio apts

606 W. Healey. C. Aug. 2009. 1 bdrm. apts. close to campus. Carpet, electric heat, window a/c, free parking. Rents from $395. $50/mo to furnish. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1 -4 Blocks from Engineering Campus. See our display ad or visit our website at www.advproperties.com. ADVANTAGE PROPERTIES C-U 217-344-0394

1 BEDROOM WASHER/DRYER FREE INTERNET

1, 2, 3, & 4 BEDROOMS Washer/Dryer Free Internet

605 E. CLARK, C. 203 S. FOURTH, C.

808 S. Oak, C. 805 S. Locust, C. 102 S. Lincoln, C. 605 E. Clark, C.

www.mhmproperties.com 217-337-8852

1 Bedroom $475/month Washer/Dryer 104 N. Fifth, C. 217-841-5407

Hundreds of C-U Apartments Photos, Maps, Amenities

Furnished

www.mhmproperties.com 217-337-8852

John Street Apartments 58 E. John, C

1005 S. Second

Studio, two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, parking, and value pricing. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Fall 2009 Studio Secured building. Private parking, Laundry on-site. Value pricing from $375. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420

1006 S. 3rd Fall 2009 1 bedroom. Location, Location. Covered parking, laundry, furnished, patios. Pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

KARMA

One Bedroom Residences Downtown Champaign A complete regeneration of living space in downtown Champaign. These artistically inspired residences are fully furnished and feature IKEA furniture and cabinetry, hardwood ﬂoors, video security, off street parking, and laundry on site. KARMA is designed to be a fusion of art and living in a contemporary urban environment. Barr Real Estate, Inc. 217-356-1873 www.barr-re.com

3 bedroom apts

Two units in one & close to Campus. Upstairs 2 BR and downstairs 1 BR, separate baths and kitchens. Shared laundry area. 1316 Alms, Champaign. $990/mo. 217-840-6860

APARTMENTS

1 & 2 Bedroom Apartments

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

101 E. Green (1st & Green)

1 BR LIKE NEW. Dish/Cable. Parking, Laundry Avail. $500. 520 sqft. ceiling fans/ AC. 637-3945, 352-3829

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

Google Daily Illini Apartment Search!

August 2009. Huge 1 bdrm apts. Window A/C, Parking $40/mo. To furnish $50/mo additional. Rents from $410/mo to $475/mo. Call for showing times.

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

808 S. LINCOLN, U

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

510 S. MATTIS, C.

410 APARTMENTS

• Most utilities included • At Roland Pool • On 22 bus line ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

• Free Internet • Dishwashers • 1 ½ Baths • Balcony

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

ROLAND REALTY

invites you to LIVE IT UP

with

207 E. Green (2nd and Green)

We designed d i d 309 to cater to your needs, d and we’ve got it all!

4 bedroom apts • Free Internet • 1 ½ baths • 3 story townhouses

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

16 STORIES OF MODERN LOFT APARTMENTS FLOOR-TO-CEILING WINDOWS

905 S. LOCUST 2BR Spacious layouts, balcony Central A/C, dishwasher Vaulted ceiling (top) Onsite laundry Sublet available Sanitary, sewer, trash paid Starts at $720/mo

mon.-sat.

905locust.com

(217) 766-2245

309 GREEN!

FLAT-SCREEN TVS NINE

HREE

ROOFTOP POOL AND HOT TUB

G R E E N

PRIVATE FITNESS CENTER CLUB LOUNGE FULLY FURNISHED WITH MODERN FURNITURE BALCONIES ON EVERY APARTMENT 24 HOUR SERVICE

On engineering & comptuer science campus (Urbana Side) Union 3 1/2 Blocks Grainger 2 Blocks 1 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U $ 570-595 911 W. Springfield, U $ 570-610 1004 W. Springfield, U $ 495 2 Bedroom 111 S. Lincoln, U

$ 795

For Info: (217) 344-3008 911 W. Springfield, Urbana www.BaileyApartments.com

309 Not your style? We’ve got you covered. Roland Realty offers more than 600 different housing options for students! From studio apartments to large houses, all of our properties are right next to the U of I campus. Check out Roland Realty today and get started finding your perfect place to live!

2 1 7 - 3 5 1 - 8 9 0 0 www.roland-realty.com Leasing Office on the corner of 3rd and Green come and get it

buzz classifieds 11

APARTMENTS Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

Old Town Champaign 510 S. Elm, C

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

JOHN & LOCUST, C

Available Fall 2009. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood ﬂoors, laundry, W/D, central air/heat, off-street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. Value pricing from $595/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Aug 2009. Huge one bdrms, Window A/C. Rents from $360/mo to $380/mo. Parking $20/mo. Call for showing times.

408 E. Stoughton (4th and Stoughton) 1 bedroom apts

607 W. Springfield, C

1/2 block to new campus county market All utilities included except cable TV Near engineering quad

351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1 Br on busline $505 - $520 Includes pkg, water, heat & trash

The Weiner Companies, LTD. 217-384-8001 www.weinercompanies.com

420 APARTMENTS

802 W. GREEN, U.

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

420

706 S. FIRST, C.

Aug 2009. One block from Lincoln Ave. Large units with Central A/C, Patios/ Balconies, laundry. Parking $40/mo. From $525/mo to $550/mo on 2 bedrooms & 1 bedroom to $500/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Aug 2009. 1/2 blk south of Green. 1 bedroom $375/mo. & 2 bedroom $395/mo. Window A/C. Parking $40/mo. Laundry Facilities. Call for showing times.

702/704 W. Elm 2 bdrm apts

805-807-809 S. First (1st and Daniel)

1 block from Green/Lincoln Free internet included Quiet neighborhood 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

Furnished

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1 bedroom apts

• On 22 bus line • Near Roland Pool • Most utilities included

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

One bedrooms and Studios on campus and on the 22 bus line. AFFORDABLE RENTS WITH GREAT UTILITY PACKAGES INCLUDED. HISTORICAL BUILDINGS IN A QUIET COMMUNITY WITH ONSITE LAUNDRY AND SWIMMING POOL. AFTERNOON SHOWINGS DAILY, NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY.

Give us a call 217-351-8900 C h e c k u s o u t o n l i n e w w w. r o l a n d - r e a l t y. c o m

The Best Deal In Town

Atrium Apartments

Now under new management

a Fully furnished 1400 sq. ft. 4 bedroom/4 bath All Utilities Included

a Fitness Center, computer lab, wireless internet, indoor pool, game room, hot tub, laundry facilites, courtyard a Excellent roommate matching service aOn-site management aLocally owned

Atrium Apartments 1306 N. Lincoln Ave, Urbana 217-328-5122

www.atrium-apartments.com www.the217.com

FALL SPE CIAL $37

5 per Discounts bedroom. for gro of four. ups

*Summer Leases Available 5/15–8/13 $900 • 6/1–8/13 $750 MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

12 classifieds buzz

APARTMENTS

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

101 N. BUSEY & 102 N. LINCOLN, U. Aug 2009. Near Green & Lincoln. 2 bdrm apts from $495/mo. Window A/C, Laundry. Parking $45/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

102 N. GREGORY, U. Aug 2009. Close to Illini Union. 2 bdrms $495/mo, Carpet, Laundry. Parking $45/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-173 www.barr-re.com

509 E. Clark, C. Large Efﬁciency. $385-395/mo. 217-721-6295. www.bestartphotos. com/apartment/509eclark.html.

Safe Street. Modern.

1107 S. EUCLID, C

Aug 2009. Studio apts at First & Green. Wall A/C units, laundry. From $305/mo to $325/mo. Parking $35/mo. Call for showing times.

Aug 2009. 1 bdrms near Armory, IMPE, & Snack Bar. Window A/C, laundry, rents from $365/mo to $375/mo. Parking $35/mo. Call for showing times.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

106 Daniel

Studio and 1 bdrm apts 1 block to illini 22 bus route Full use of Roland Pool Great location Parking available

1108 S. Lincoln, U August 2009. Classic building close to Jimmy John's on Lincoln Ave. Hardwood Floors, Laundry. Efﬁciencies- furnished rents from $355 to $395/mo. Call for showing times.

For August 2009. 1, 2 ($695/mo) bedroom. Parking, laundry, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

GREAT VALUE 306-308-309 WHITE August 2009. Furnished studios, 1, 2, and 3 bedrooms. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking. Value pricing. 841-1996 9 Month Leases Available THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Available Now & June - June Leases Studio, 1, 2, & 3- Bedroom Apartments www.ugroup96.com 217-352-3182

903 W. Oregon (Oregon and Lincoln)

2 bedroom apts

• Free Internet • 3 blocks from Quad • Near new shops and resturants

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

203 S. Sixth, C.

August 2009 Studio and 1 bedrooms. Furniture, off-street parking, laundry. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First.

For August 2009. Large 4 bedrooms, 2 bath. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Value pricing. $900-$1100. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

202 E. SPRINGFIELD, C.

�

304 E. Clark, C. Castle Apartments

August 2009. 1 bedroom units conveniently located close to campus. Rent from $410/mo. Central A/C, dishwashers, balconies. Call for showing times.

3 blocks to Engineering Quad and supermarket. 4 BR $1120. 3 BR $850. New C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. 384-1099 castleproperty@gmail.com

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

307 & 310 E. WHITE 307 & 309 CLARK

602 E. Stoughton, C Fall 2009. Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, value pricing and parking available. Must see! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

807 to 809

�

420 APARTMENTS

111 E. Chalmers, C.

�� W. ILLINOIS, U 2009. 1 Bdrms corner of �� Aug Lincoln & Illinois. Window A/C, Laundry, Rent $495/mo. Parking �� $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 �� www.barr-re.com ��

June & Fall 2009 Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Starting from $350/mo. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup.com 352-3182

907 W. STOUGHTON, U Aug 2009. Huge 2 bdrm apt in great location near Engineering. Central A/C, laundry. From $525/mo. Parking $30/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

420

Furnished

311 E. WHITE, C. Avail Aug 2009. Large efﬁciencies close to Beckman Center. From $325/mo. Parking $35/mo. Window A/C, carpet. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Healey Court Apartments 307-309 Healey Court, C Fall 2009. Behind FU Bar. 2 bedrooms. Parking, laundry, and value pricing. $720/mo. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

THE GEORGIAN 1005 S. SIXTH, C.

ABOVE JIMMY JOHN'S ON LINCOLN

805 S. LINCOLN, U. Aug 2009. Ceiling fans, Window A/C. 1 bdrms from $570/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

THE NEVADAN 903 W. NEVADA, U.

Aug 2009. Best located 1 bdrms on U of I Campus. Next to UI Library. 1 bdrms from $450 to $550/mo. Laundry, Window A/C, Carpet. Call for showing times.

We've redeﬁned luxury with these spectacular 2 bedroom units built August 2007 right in the heart of the U of I campus, around the corner from Cafe Paradiso. Wall-mounted ﬂat screen TVs, wine & beer fridge, designer furniture package, W/D, buzzer entry, elevator, covered parking and MUCH MORE!!! Some units have 2 baths! A must-see! Rents from $1250/mo to $1350/mo. Call for showing times!

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

��

PRICES SLASHED! August 2009

1 bedrooms 1 bedroom 2 bedrooms 1007 S. First 2 bedrooms 611 W. Green 2 bedrooms 802 W. Green 1 bedroom 2 bedrooms 404 W. High 2 bedrooms 609 W. Main 2 bedroom Townhouses 2 bedroom Apts. 1 bedrooms 907 W. Stoughton 2 bedrooms 706 S. Walnut 1 bedrooms 1901 Karen Ct. 2 bedrooms 706 S. Locust 2 bedrooms 101 Busey/102 Lincoln 2 bedrooms 102 Gregory 2 bedrooms 702 Western 1 bedroom

Was $365 to $375 Was $430 Was $450 Was $595 Was $845 Was $560 Was $605 to $630 Was $695 to $735 Was $550 Was $515 Was $590 Was $570 Was $510 Was $530 Was $600 Was $535 Was $535 Was $425 to $495

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr.re-com MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

Furnished

�

351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

Arbor Apts 706 S. First

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

105 E. Green, C

1 Block Lincoln and Green. 1 BR. Kitchen Living room. W/D. Avail Aug. $495, No Pets, No Smoking. 367-3530, leave message. westernrentals705@gmail.com

907 S. Second (2nd and Chalmers)

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

Now $340 to $350 Now $375 Now $395 Now $495 Now $745 Now $500 Now $525 to $550 Now $650 to $695 Now $475 Now $450 Now $425 Now $525 Now $450 Now $495 Now $525 Now $495 Now $495 Now $400 to $445

56 & 58 E. Healey, Champaign 1 Bedroom Apartments $470 - 535 Rent includes: HEAT, SEWER & TRASH Secure building with intercom On-site Laundry Balcony / Patio Parking Available $40/mo

the217.com/buzz ADVANTAGE PROPERTIES C-U

Location: First St. between Green & Springfield www.NevesGroup.com (217) 377-8850

Leasing for Fall 2009 WALK TO CAMPUS!

All of our apartments are 1-4 blocks from Campus

Smith Apartments Now Renting for August 2009 217-384-1925 Efficiency 201 E. Armory, C. . . . . . . . . . $395 1 Bedroom 511 W. Church, C. Furn . . . . . . . $500

PRICES REDUCED!!! One BedrOOm ApArtments

v v v v v

2 Bedroom 511 W. Church, C. Furn . . . . . . . $655 604 W. Stoughton, U. . . . . . . . . $925+ Large, 2 Br, 2 bath, W/D 2526 Leeper, C. Unfurn . . . . . . . $670 Townhouse at Southwest Place Parking available, laundry available

www.smithapartments-cu.com

v v v

Spacious apartments Free Internet Free Cable TV in most units Washer & Dryer in every apartment Dishwasher in some units Furnished Air Conditioning Parking Available

204 N. Harvey, U. 808 W. Clark, U. 906 W. Clark, U. 1002 W. Clark, U. 1003 W. Clark, U. 1007 W. Clark, U. 1008 W. Main, U.

$710 1 left $615 * $660 2 left $740 1 left $660 $690 $770 1 left

* One Parking Spot Included

Sign a lease before June 1st and receive $100 cash

217-344-0394

www.advproperties.com

Corner of Lincoln & University / 406 N. Lincoln Ave., Urbana

come and get it

buzz classifieds 13

APARTMENTS Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

503-505-508 E. White

508, 510, & 512 E. STOUGHTON, C.

Fall 2009. 2 and 3 bedrooms. Completely furnished. Parking and laundry available, new kitchens, value pricing. On-site resident manager. Call Justin 618-304-8562.

August 2009. Huge 1 bdrm plus den and 2 bdrms. Close to Engineering & C/S. A/C, Laundry, Parking $55/ mo. Rent from $555/mo to $760/mo. Call for showing times.

THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

506 E. Stoughton, C. For August 2009. Extra large efﬁciency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 E. White August 2009. Large Studio and 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, offstreet parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 217-352-3182

702 W. WESTERN, U August 2009. 1 Bedrooms, Window A/C, Carpet/Tile Floors, Laundry, Parking Available. From $400/mo to $445/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. LOCUST, C. Aug 2009. Window A/C, covered parking $45/mo, laundry. 1 bdrms $395/mo. 2 bdrms $525/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. WALNUT, U. August 2009. Close to Downtown Urbana, 1 bdrms $510/mo. Central A/C, Laundry. Parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

ankier

509 W. MAIN, U Aug 2009. 1 bdrm apts. From $415/mo to $445/mo. Laundry, Window A/C, Parking, $45/mo. Call for showing times.

604 E. WHITE Security Entrance For Fall 2009, Large studio, 1 bedroom, Furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

604 W. Stoughton, U

August 2009. The BEST LOCATED EFFICIENCIES & 1 BEDROOMS on campus - period. Here's the best part: Efﬁciencies $450/mo & 1 bedrooms $550/mo. Parking available at $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

911-1004-901 W. Springfield, Urbana Heart of Eng. Campus ONE Bedrooms $495 -$570 -$595 344-3008 www.BaileyApartments.com 906-908 S. Locust St., C. Effic, and 1 bedroom apartments August 2009. Quiet location, large units. Some pet friendly. 906 Locust: Efficiency $425, 1 bedroom $515, 908 Locust: 1 bedrooms $545-575, paid heat/water. Parking for $40/mo. Call for information or appointments. 367-2009 Locust III Apartments lsrozek@aol.com 701 W. Indiana 2 Bedroom/1 bathroom, hardwood floors, quiet location. $950/mo. Call 384-0333 for more information.

August 2009. 1 bdrms. Window A/C, Laundry. From $360/mo to $495/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1901 Karen Ct., C

301 W. GREEN, U

Aug 2009. 2 Bdrms in Great Location. Hardwood & Ceramic tile, W/D, D/W, Balcony or Patio, Central A/C, Rent $745/mo. Parking $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

ARBOR APARTMENTS, C. Aug 2009. 1 bdrms at Third & Gregory across from Snack Bar. Window A/C, laundry, rents from $340/mo to $350/mo. Parking $35/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1007 S. FIRST Aug 2009. Near First & Gregory. 2 bdrm apts from $495/mo. Window A/C, Carpet, Laundry. Parking included. Call for showing times.

Aug 2009. 1 bdrm apts from $505/ mo. Close to Urbana Library and Downtown. Free Parking Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

508 S Mattis, C. Aug 2009. One of Champaign’s ﬁnest apartment complexes featuring a beautiful courtyard. 1 bdrm apts. at $475/mo. 2 bdrm apts. at $495/mo. On busline with Central A/C, Carpet, Gas Heat, Laundry facilities, Patios or Balconies, Covered Parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 217-356-1873 www.barr-re.com Near Downtown 1 BR 1 BA. $500- $750/mo. Available August. Green Street Realty 356-8750 510 W. University

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

REMODELED

404 W. HIGH, U

3 BR or 2 BR plus study New kitchen, A/C, pkg, deck/patio Available Fall 2009 @ $695/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 1-217-384-8001 www.weinercompanies.com

Aug 2009. 1 bdrm & 2 bdrm apts from $650/mo to $695/mo. Close to Urbana Library, Downtown. Free Parking, Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

www.bankierapts.com

305 W. Elm, U

CHAMPAIGN OLD TOWN - DOWNTOWN 2 BRs, available early June 800 W. Church $490 507 W. White $550 404 S. Prairie $600 9 Hartwell Ct. (Savoy) $625 For more information Call 217-352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

Unfurnished

430 APARTMENTS

Great Campus Locations!

Place classiﬁed ads and shout outs online anytime. Classiﬁeds at dailyillini.com

CHAMPAIGN OLD TOWN - DOWNTOWN 1 BRs, available early June 811 W. Hill $400 605 W. University $435 508 W. Hill $435 711 S. Randolph $435 515 W. Washington $440 For more information Call 217-352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

430 HOUSES FOR RENT

Unfurnished

511- 513 S. ELM, C.

705 W. CHURCH, C.

Aug. 2009. Corner of W. Green and Elm in quiet attractive building with locked security entrance. Large 2 bdrm. apts. with approximately 770 sq. ft. Free covered parking, laundry in building. Central A/C, Gas Heat, Carpet. On busline. Rent starts at $495/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Aug 2009. Very attractive apts located near downtown. On busline. Large apts. Balconies or patios. Two bedrooms from $460/mo. Call for a showing time. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

512 W. GREEN, C

1 BR Downtown Champaign

Aug 2009. Double security brick building in excellent location. Large 2 bdrm apts with approx 800 sq. ft. Parking, Central A/C, Carpet, Laundry facilities. On busline. Rents $450/mo. to $475/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

703 W. Church, C. Aug. 2009. Close to downtown in quiet location on busline. 2 bdrms. start at $470/mo. Patio/Balconies, Central A/C, Gas Heat, Carpet, Laundry in Building. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com HILL STREET GALLERY APARTMENTS 703 W. Hill Street, Champaign Pet Friendly Elegantly renovated recently, charming one bedroom apartments near Downtown, Westside Park, Campus bus, parking, laundry, available June/August 1st. $595. 359-0675

LINKSVIEW, SAVOY Aug 2009. Located on 9th hole of UI Golf Course. 2 bdrm 880 sq.ft. Each apt has own garage, storage unit, 2 balconies/patios, dishwashers, disposals, w/d hookups. From $650/ mo. to $675.mo + parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

SOUTHWEST PLACE APTS, C. Aug. 2009. Located in SW Champaign near Windsor & Mattis. 2 bdrm Duplexes, Fourplexes, Townhouses and 1 bedrooms. Carpet, gas heat, central a/c. Some units have w/d's in units, w/d hook-ups, or laundry in bldg, garages, dishwashers, disposals, patio/balconies, parking. 1 bdrms from $490/mo. 2 bdrms from $610/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

205 W. William, C. 2 BR. Washer/dryer in apt, Dishwasher, AC, Fireplace, Parking/Carport included. On Busline, $660/mo 217-621-6347

Near Lincoln Ave.

Not sleeping well?

www.the217.com

115 W. WASHINGTON, U

611 WEST GREEN, U

Choice of 1, 2, 3 & 4 Bedrooms for Fall ✦ Laundry facilities, many with washer/dryer in unit. ✦ Dishwasher/Microhood ✦ Balconies ✦ Parking ✦ Intercom entries ✦ 24 hour emergency maintenance ✦ High speed internet access/Ethernet SEE THE DIFFERENCE Mon - Sat (217) 328-3770

430 APARTMENTS

Spacious 2 BR apartment, 2 BA, large kitchen, dishwasher, disposal, patio/balcony, central A/C, W/D in unit available, secured parking available, storage available. Open midAugust. Close to campus, starting at $920. 217-384-1925 www.smithapartments-cu.com

Leasing September 29th for Fall ‘09

partments

Unfurnished

Aug. 2009. 2 bdrm apts in southwest Champaign neighborhood near Windsor Rd & Mattis Ave. 2 bdrms $495/mo. Carpet, central a/c, dishwashers, disposals, laundry in building, gas heat. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

5th & HEALEY, C.

420 APARTMENTS

Avail. Fall 09 Eff.,1 BR’s laundry, HW floors and MOST utilities. $375-$605/mo.

weinercompanies.com 384-8018 Awesome C-U Properties Spacious 1BR $450+ and 2 BR $500+ Lots of Amenities Newly Remodeled Free Parking Call 637-6000 or 352-4104

SUBLETS

440

Sublet available now through July 2010. 1BR, $480/mo, 2 blocks from downtown Champaign - close to cafe, shops, nightlife. 1 block from beautiful Westside Park. Free Parking. AC, very safe neighborhood, W/ D in basement. Contact Ronald at raa4@lehigh.edu

HOUSES FOR RENT

510

1001 S. First, C. Rent Reduced on this 7 BR 3 Full Bath (at First and Chalmers) near ARC available August. Modern kitchen, W/D, free off-street parking, A/C, hardwood ﬂoors ﬁreplace. $2395/mo. Stop by or call Tyler 641-919-4059.

3 Bedroom House 812 W. Clark, U. Re-modeled 3 bedroom house, new kitchen, hard wood ﬂoors, updated bathroom, washer and dryer, furnished or unfurnished, and FREE PARKING! $810 per month. Available Aug 20th. Advantage Properties C-U 217-344-0394 www.advproperties.com

59 E. Chalmers, C. Rent reduced on this 4 BR (First and Chalmers) near ARC. Available August. New kitchen. Central Air. W/D. Free Off-Street Parking. $1295/mo. Stop by or call Claude 630-251-4346

Best Deal in Town 804 W. Springfield

Up to 7 BR House/ Duplex for FALL Furnished, 3 BAs, Parking, w/d Close to campus The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 211 E. Green St., Urbana 217-384-8001 info@weinercompanies.com www.weinercompanies.com

Safe Quiet Street Completely updated, Very Attractive, Furnished, 4 BR, 1 block from Lincoln & Green, Fireplace, Living, Dining, Kitchen, W/D, includes parking, Available August, No Pets. 367-3530. westernrentals705@gmail.com $1400

ADVANTAGE PROPERTIES C-U

WALK TO CAMPUS! Furnished Houses - Fall 2009

Prices Reduced!

Sign a lease before June 1st and recieve $100 cash

2 BR 3 BR 3 BR 3 BR 3 BR

806 W. Clark, U 809 W. Clark, U 810 W. Clark, U 812 W. Clark, U 814 W. Clark, U

$750 $780 $780 $780 $735

*Parking Included*

Pets Allowed in some houses!

www.advproperties.com

217-344-0394

510

803 S. Locust, C. 7 bedroom, 2-1/2 Bath 2 Kitchens, W/D FREE PARKING www.mhmproperties.com 217-337-8852

803 S. First, C. 8-9 Person FREE PARKING www.mhmproperties.com 2217-337-8852

Campus Houses, $290/BR 5- 10 Bedrooms. LCD TV. Free parking and laundry. 367-6626.

House Near Campus for Rent 3 bedroom hose for rent at 410 W. John. Excellent condition. 3 yearold home. 2 car garage and washer/ dryer. $1140/mo. Contact 217-684-2650.

Large House 4 Bedroom near Engineering Quad. 1.5 Bath, W/D, D/W, parking. Available August. $1400/mo. 217-7143330 or 217-898-4697 Vet/Grad Students looking for others to rent stunning six bdrm Victorian on horse farm 5 min. south of campus. Wrap around porch, ﬁreplace, laundry, electric, etc. Available 8/1/09. $435/mo. 217-337-7403

308-1/2 W. William, C. 4 bedroom, 2 Bath Free Parking + Garage, AC, Rec-Room, Fireplace www.mhmproperties.com 217-337-8852

407-1/2 E. White, C. 6 Bedroom House AC, W/D, Free parking www.mhmproperties.com 217-337-8852 5 Bedroom House on Campus, 4800 sq. ft., 3 bathrooms, Great Value, $1800, 367-6626

ROOMS

530

AVAILABLE NOW $355, 367-6626

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 Vet/Grad Students looking for others to rent stunning six bdrm Victorian on horse farm 5 min. south of campus. Wrap around porch, ﬁreplace, laundry, electric, etc. Available 8/1/09. $435/mo. 217-337-7403

PARKING/STORAGE 570 STORAGE SPACE 8 x 20 Walk-in Door $60/mo Baillie Rentals Gibson City 217-249-8496

ADOPTION

850

Adoption & Egg Donation

Adoption- Happily married couple has lots of joy and laughter to give to a little one. We look forward to sharing our hearts and growing our family through adoption. Your child will have a home ﬁlled with love, fun & family. For more information, please call 1-800-Baby-Mom. Love, Jim & Shavonne

MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

14 buzz

d o i n ’ i t w e l l by Jo Sanger & Ross Wantland

Let’s Get Physical Sexercise Your Body Every so often, we see an article in Men’s Fitness or Cosmopolitan suggesting ways we need to get fit if we want to have good sex. Being healthy for ourselves is great, but these sources often introduce some unrealistic ideas about how fit we should be if we want to attract a partner and perform in bed. Doin’ It Well thought we’d find out how important physical fitness is for getting hot and sweaty.

— ideally for at least 30 minutes at a time), such as walking, running or biking can keep us from becoming too breathless when we’re getting hot and heavy. Also, simple exercises such as pushups and sit-ups might work some of the same muscles that get a workout during sex. In addition, yoga, dance and other activities can help keep your body limber.

A Real Workout

While many people might joke about being sore after sex from different positions that might not be experienced very often, the idea of stretching or “warming up” before sex may seem comical or unrealistic. For the hardcore sexercise enthusiasts who do this (along with taking frequent water breaks and managing electrolytes), we commend you! For others, it may be helpful to consider which sexual positions you might want to engage in and use a week or so ahead of time to get into that position a few times by yourself and hold it in order to gently stretch and build the muscles that will be involved. For example, if you are interested in engaging in a standing version of rear entry (doggie style), you might add a downward dog yoga pose (or something similar) into your workout routine!

Although the sex most people are having is probably not the wild, body-bending activity we see in the movies, there are still a lot of ways that “real people” sex requires stamina and strength. There’s no doubt that sex works many different muscles in our bodies. In addition to those used during different sexual positions, there are also muscles engaged during sexual arousal and orgasm. Active sex can burn anywhere from four to six calories per minute — about the same as swimming! Holding one position for an extended period of time, thrusting hips or even holding up your own or a partner’s body weight works the arms, back, shoulders and abs, not to mention the muscles we don’t even think about, such as the PC (pubococcygeal) muscles in both men and women. Normally, we may be most aware of our PC muscles when they stop the flow of urine, but they can serve many important purposes during sex as well. These pelvic muscles contract the vagina for women, assist men in controlling ejaculation and are intricately involved in intensifying pleasure and orgasm for both women and men. To build PC muscle strength, Kegel exercises (squeezing the PC muscles), which can easily be done during your regular day, can help. At breakfast, in work meetings or while riding the bus, you can be engaging your PC muscles. To find the PC muscles, pay attention the next time you pee, and stop the flow of urine midstream. Those are your PC muscles at work! Start out with 10 or 20 squeezes holding for two to three seconds each, and work up from there. Just like any muscle, go slow because it can get fatigued! You may alternate between fast, quick reps and harder, longer flexes. Notice the sexual sensations you feel in the pelvic area while doing Kegels! The exercises can also be done during sex to add sensation or to help quicken or delay orgasm for both women and men.

Make Your Heart Race Just as sex may be exercise, non-sexual aerobic exercise can influence your sex life. A recent study found that men who exercised three times a week had increased sexual satisfaction and improved sexual performance. Cardiovascular activity (activity that raises your heart rate

MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

Hang Loose

Feel the Burn? With the ways “hot” sex gets shown in the media, discussions about “sexercise” may reinforce ideas that our bodies aren’t strong, fit or attractive for an active, vibrant sex life. Although sex — solo or partner — may be exercise, that doesn’t mean we should have to worry about getting a workout in bed or carbo-loading before a big sex romp.

Sex 411: Shaping Up Instead of turning to your partner and asking to do a few more reps, pay attention to your body during and after sex. Figuring out what muscles you’re working might help you think about whether you’d like to strengthen or stretch them. Remember, sex should be about satisfaction — not about an unrealistic expectation for physique or performance — but don’t be afraid to get hot and sweaty!

Check us out next week as we get heady about fellatio. Jo and Ross want to pump you up — by responding to your questions. Send them to buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com.

Illustration by Kate Lamy

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buzz 15

Free Will Astrology ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

While reading a crime report in the online version of Northern California’s Arcata Eye newspaper, I came across this entry: “A dreadlocked man attacked a lamp post on the Plaza with his mighty fists, punching it while yelling and, in the memorable description of a witness, ‘fighting amongst himself.’” I immediately thought of you, Aries. According to my analysis of the omens, you’ve been fighting amongst yourself with -- how shall I say this? -- crafty ferocity. I’d be ecstatic if I could convince you to call a truce, begin peace talks, and maybe even begin practicing some crafty tenderness toward yourself.

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)

When you Tauruses are at your best, you get into a groove but not into a rut -- humming along with creative efficiency, not just going through the motions or repeating the same old tired shticks. When you’re at the top of your game, it’s because you’ve surrounded yourself with stimuli that make you feel peaceful and comfortable. Other people may work well under pressure and accomplish most when they’re driven by stress, but you usually need to be at ease in order to access your deep brilliance. From what I can tell, everything I just said is a description of what will be happening in the coming weeks.

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

Research shows that if a stranger gazes at you for at least 8.2 seconds, he or she is definitely interested in you. If, on the other hand, the look lasts 4.5 seconds or less, there’s no attraction. I’m guessing that the percentage of long scrutinies you receive in the coming weeks will be higher than usual. Your raw charisma levels will be up, as will your ability to make strong first impressions. How do you plan to exploit the advantages this will give you, Gemini? According to my projections, it’ll be a good time to meet some allies of the future. One of the tastiest frogs in the world is at risk of dying out as a species. The “mountain chicken” frog, once a fixture on the chain of Caribbean islands known as Montserrat, has become endangered through loss of habitat, disease, and over-hunting by humans. In response to the crisis, conservationists have airlifted a number of survivors to new homes, attempting to save their kind from extinction. I think it’s time for you to arrange a comparable intervention of your own, Cancerian. A sweet and delicious part of you or your world is not exactly thriving, and needs some strenuous help and care.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

A Florida woman, upset that her local McDonald’s had run out of Chicken McNuggets, phoned the 911 emergency service line for help. In an unrelated incident, a Florida man took the same action when Burger King told him it had no lemonade to sell him. I recommend that you not indulge in similar overreactions in the coming week, Leo. The Drama Queen or Drama King archetype is threatening to possess you, and I suspect you’ll have to act forcefully to keep it away. If you’re successful, you’ll be visited by a far more congenial archetype -- the Social Butterfly. And that would prove to be amusing and productive.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Most of you Virgos have built-in safeguards that ensure you won’t abuse power. That’s why I feel uninhibited about advising you to grab all the new authority and influence you can get in the next few weeks. It’s one of those phases in your astrological cycle when you’re more likely to be in line for promotions, new privileges, and increased clout. I hope you won’t be shy. You may have to be uncharacteristically aggressive as you claim your rightful potency and rewards.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

In the coming days, the surprise and delight quotient will be way up. I bet you’ll be more prone than usual to uttering exclamations. There may also be a confounding “aha!” and a mind-wobbling “What the frack?!” mixed in there, although I think the emphasis will be on developments that educate and entertain you. Since you will probably be ushered in the direction of the frontier, I think you should find new ways to express your amazement. www.the217.com

j o n e s i n ’

May 28 - June 3

Instead of cliches like “Jesus H. Christ!” or “Holy crap!”, why not try something fresh, like the following: “Great Odin’s raven!” . . . “Radical lymphocytes!” . . . “Cackling whacks of jibber-jabber!” . . . “Frosty heat waves!” . . . “Panoramic serpentine.” Any other ideas?

SCORPIO

“T h at ’ s B.S.”-- at

least it’s broken up.

by Matt Jones

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

As I was driving out in the country, I spied a curious statement written in large crooked letters on a homemade sign: “I have seen the truth and it doesn’t make sense.” I’m guessing you might feel that way yourself right now, Scorpio. You have summoned the courage to see the deeper reality beneath the official story, but that has made you more confused than you were when you only possessed a smattering of iffy facts. So you’re smarter and better informed, but are nonetheless feeling less secure. My advice: Don’t flee back into the fake comfort of comfy delusions. If you can maintain your poise in the face of the raging ambiguity, you will ultimately be rewarded with a big dose of cathartic clarity.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing,” said Indian philosopher Nisargadatta Maharaj. “Love is knowing I am everything. And between the two my life moves.” According to my calculations, Sagittarius, you’ll be more on the “knowing you are everything” side of the polarity for the next few weeks. That’s because a flood is imminent. I expect you’ll be on the receiving end of a massive outreach from the universe -- an influx of invitations, inquiries, and offers to make connection. You should also be prepared for the dizzying pleasure that comes from seeing how profoundly interlinked and interdependent you are.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

This is my pledge to you, Capricorn: I promise to use all my otherworldly connections to get your karmic debt reduced in the next few weeks. In return, I ask that you make these pledges to me: You promise not to be a selfpitying martyr or a cranky beast of burden or a willing victim of rank manipulation. You agree not to just follow sloppy orders or passively capitulate as some bad guy with a nice smile tries to lower your standards. And finally, you swear to feed a really healthy desire that will ultimately help give your other desires more integrity and nobility.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

“We all have a blind spot in love,” says astrologer Jessica Shepherd at moonkissed.com. “Never simple to figure out and even harder to see head on, our blind spot is as unique and complexly layered as we are.” But it’s not a hopeless cause, I would add. In fact, you may ultimately be able to discern the contours of your special ignorance about romance; you may find a way to fix the unconscious glitch that has undermined your quest for meaningful intimacy. How should you proceed? Well, you will need skillful ingenuity, a willingness to gaze upon a flustering truth about yourself, and maybe a little miraculous grace. And now here’s the very good news, Aquarius: It so happens that all these things are available to you right now.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

It’s a ripe time to revise and rework your past, Pisces. I’ll trust you to make the ultimate determination about how best to do that, but here are some possibilities. 1. Revisit a memory that has haunted you, and do a ritual that resolves it and brings you peace. 2. Return to the scene of an awkward anomaly that remains unsettled, and finally do a duty you neglected. 3. Make your way back to a dream you wandered away from prematurely, and either re-commit yourself to it, or put it to rest for good. 4. Dig up and contemplate a secret that has been festering, and come to a decision about what you can do to heal it.

Solution in Classifieds.

Across

1 First name in daytime talk 5 Salt, to a chemist 9 “The Two ___” (Nicholson movie) 14 Sexy Halloween costume option 15 Bounce back 16 University of Maine city 17 Sit in with a worker, perhaps 19 Thirst 20 “Hinky Dinky Parlay ___” (WWI song) 21 It includes bacon, lettuce and avocado 23 Five-term Mexican president Benito 26 Iguana, for some 27 Growing sci. 28 Drink that supposedly helps remove most stains 31 Type of plane rescue over water 33 “___ the Stockbroker” (“The Howard Stern Show” personality) 34 Humor ending? 35 Co. with a logo of a dog listening to a phonograph 36 One whose habit may cause dental problems 41 Rap sheet abbr. 42 Part of some school addresses 43 It’s cold in Koln 46 1977 hit from George Clinton and Parliament 49 Tale lost on the heartless 52 Weezer genre 53 Actress Lucy 55 Business section section 56 It may be done inside a toolbar 60 Govt. agency that addresses radiation protection 61 Set ___ (plan for the future) 62 They’re called in to check suspicious packages 66 Blood___ (video game series with vampires) 67 Burn soother 68 ___ no good 69 Curvy letters 70 Word after empty or love 71 “Bright ___” (Shirley Temple movie)

Down

1 Jaw-popping disorder, for short 2 Ming of the Houston Rockets 3 Rounded architectural framework in cathedrals 4 Accumulate on the surface, like molecules 5 Grant-providing org. 6 Angus Young’s band 7 Shoe designer Jimmy 8 Healthy heart rate, on a doctor’s chart 9 Arcade game control 10 Neighborhood 11 Aussie cuties 12 Make very mad 13 Cliff Huxtable’s oldest 18 They’re pulled through the dirt 22 Den mother’s group 23 They offer assoc. degrees 24 Form finish 25 Animal fanatic’s condition 29 Reggae offshoot 30 Numbnuts 32 Singer Corinne Bailey ___ 37 Witchy woman 38 Waikiki strings 39 Actor Kier 40 Settle back in the same place 44 Bug the hell out of 45 Part of PBS, for short 46 Spooky warning 47 Fraternity letters 48 Louisiana sandwiches 50 RR stops 51 Engine force 54 Country star Keith 57 Aladdin ___ (David Bowie alter ego) 58 Singer Natalie 59 Some ins. providers 63 Put chips on the roulette table 64 Polished off 65 Recommended styles, in fashion mags

MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

16 buzz

and another thing ... by Michael Coulter

Stall Stories Proper public potty etiquette When I was a kid and we were out of town, I was forced to go to the restroom with my mom until I was five or six. It was for my own safety and probably to keep me from peeing and pooping all over the place, but either way, I picked up a few weird habits from her. At the time, she felt no toilet seat was safe until it had been wrapped with countless layers of protective toilet paper. Even then, I was encouraged to hover over the seat as much as possible. I wasn’t really clear as to the reason for this procedure, but being a child, I assumed it was to keep countless bugs and diseases from crawling up inside of me and killing me within the hour. Back then, and probably even now, going to the restroom in public can be a sort of creepy thing. Before we get into the whole topic, I should add an addendum to the previous story. My father was unaware of the procedure my mother and I had implemented, and the first time he took me to a public bathroom when I was about six, things didn’t go particularly well. I insisted he come into the stall with me for some reason. I suppose it was because I figured he would really enjoy the experience. He closed the door behind us and stared straight ahead, probably wondering how he ever got involved in this creepy little family. Regardless, when he turned around and saw me decorating the toilet like it was a float in the Macy’s parade, he wasn’t especially happy. I can’t remember exactly what he said, possibly yelled, and he seemed more freaked out than actually annoyed, but it was all something to do with being a man and hurrying up and not listening to everything my mother said. The screaming didn’t help my condition in the least, and I believe I didn’t even attempt to go to the bathroom for the next three days just to spite him. Apparently, he was more concerned with brevity than safety. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve pretty much come down on Dad’s side of the fence. When it comes to public restrooms, get the hell in, get the hell out and don’t worry about the damage. I found some tips on this last week, and it looks like Dad’s method was actually OK, with maybe a few exceptions. It turns out that it’s almost impossible to get a disease from a toilet seat. Wow, all those sleepless nights were for nothing.

MAY 28 – JUN 03 09

They did say if the seat was “visibly soiled,” it should be wiped down before business. Well, let me tell you, if I see a seat that’s “visibly soiled,” I’m either going someplace else or crapping my pants. I’m really not comfortable in any sort of “wipe down” situation. Of course, sometimes it’s not even a question. It’s just so weird how some people can absolutely wreck a tiny little room. Were they taught to crap standing up and turning in a circle or is it just to annoy other people? It’s probably a little of both. This leads us to what the article called “the great flushing controversy.” Initially, I thought they were just talking about whether or not to do it, and I didn’t quite understand not erring on the side of decency. They were instead talking about the proper method for flushing. I was still a bit confused. I mean, with the opposable thumbs and all, I just assumed it was an upper body task. It turns out that’s not necessarily true. It turns out many people out there flush with their foot. Classy. I’d have to do some light stretching just to get my leg up that high in the first place. The thinking on the foot flush is that if other people are doing it, then you probably should, too. Otherwise, you’re not only getting things from other people’s hands but also their feet. Geez Louise, do we need to get Congress involved to make us all act like human beings? I mean, it’s called a handle. It is not called a footle. Because of this, let’s just all use our hands. I assume because of this controversy, we’re now being inundated with those godforsaken automatic flushing toilets, where if you happen to lean forward too much, the freaking thing activates, and it feels as if your intestines are about to be sucked from your body, not to mention all that undesired splashing. This leads us to the next section that should be filed under “beyond obvious.” It’s a fine idea to wash your hands after you go to the bathroom — it prevents you from getting sick and might even keep others from getting sick as well. Like voting: It’s a bunch of shit, but it’s still the right thing to do. It’s all a tricky thing. People don’t want to use public toilets because other people use them. We don’t have much regard for our fellow man anymore. We assume they aren’t decent, and they assume we aren’t decent. Sadly, we’re probably all correct in this assumption. It’s never going to a wonderland in one of those things, and it’s not a shrine or anything, but I think we could all be a little more hygienic when we’re in public. It’s either that or we all start wrapping things in paper again.

reasons to come to Need campustown this summer? Check out www.cucampustown.com for weekly discounts & activities every Thursday through August 13.

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