Buzz Magazine: July 14, 2011 by Buzz Magazine

accio snacks! 7 — farewell, old friend 8 — scenes unseen 9

more on

the217.com

erhaps you’ve noticed your buzz looks like a Harry Potter newspaper — very perceptive, reader. We had to pay tribute to our favorite wizard because we absolutely love Harry Potter. Unfortunately, Harry Potter doesn’t like us — or the press in general. Considering wizard journalists like Rita Skeeter and the fact that The Daily Prophet eventually becomes Voldemort’s puppet to propagate a pro-evil agenda, journalists have fewer legs to stand on than Mad-Eye Moody. For the sake of not doing evil, Voldemortesque journalism, we want to give a shout out to Ball St. After we thought to pay homage to The Daily Prophet, we found out Ball St. already did a great job last year. But since it’s the last Harry Potter movie (and we don’t go to Ball St.), we wanted to give it a try ourselves because, like I said, we absolutely love Harry Potter! Enjoy!

buzz

VOL9 NO26

july 14, 2011

w eekly

in this issue how to dress well 4 buzz chats with musician Tom Krell

ex games 14 Is it ever a good time to hook up with an ex?

high school pranks 16 Coulter waxes nostalgic.

calendar 10 Your guide to this week’s events in CU

bees! 5 on the217.com

BARNABUS CUFFE

Chudley Cannons

COMMUNITY After tonight’s civil unions discussion at the Urbana Free Library, Amy will be writing a follow-up piece. Check out what she heard and has to say about the discussion, civil unions and marriage legislation in general — online Friday.

Wasps

MUSIC Pitchfork Music Festival is coming to Union Park in Chicago July 15, 16 and 17. Get a playlist of some of the highlights this week, online.

Whip Wimbourne

by Samantha Bakall

The Chudley Cannons, perpetually known as the underdogs of Quidditch, had an amazing victory last night in their game against the Wimbourne Wasps. Cannons fans all over England have been celebrating throughout the night and into today. The Cannons’ win last night breaks their losing streak of 53 games. Seeker Galvin Gudgeon’s spectacular, but accidental, dive won the game about two hours in. “As I was flying around the pitch, I took off my gloves to readjust them because I thought I got a rock in them. Then, I dropped my left glove from 75 feet and dove to catch it. On my way down, I passed the snitch and caught it just in time. It was lucky because we were down 120-30,” said Gudgeon. According to manager Ragmar Dorkins, this win has come at an extremely crucial time and has been fantastically inspiring for both the team and fans. “We haven’t won the league since 1892. This win has shown everyone that we’re not going down without a fight. We plan on trying to play our way back into the Quidditch Cup next year,” said Dorkins. The team’s motto, “let’s all just keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best,” has never been truer. The Wasps were seen leaving the pitch unbelievably disappointed, as they saw this as an easy win and great morale booster. Ex-Wimbourne Beater Ludo Bagman was seen leaving the top box with his hair and robes in shambles, screaming at the top of his lungs at anyone who tried to approach him. This win would have helped secure a place in the World Cup for the Wasps. Quidditch continues on page 17. 2

buzz

editor’s note

Food & Drink Ever wish you had a menu inspired by your favorite TV shows? Keep your eyes peeled for “TV Dinners: Meals Inspired by your Favorite Shows,” online this week.

MOVIES & TV

Do you have a horrible boss? I do. His name is Dylan Sutcliff. He gets mad at me when I sleep in his bed without him. “DON’T YOU SLEEP THERE!” he yells. Check out my review of Horrible Bosses online to learn nothing else about this.

Once proclaimed “The Boy Who Lived” and even “The Chosen One,” Harry Potter is now under investigation for the murder of the late Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. In accordance, The Ministry of Magic has now dubbed him “Undesirable Number One,”a title I think we can all agree seems most fitting. The most recent of Potter’s known exploits was not too long ago when he, along with Ron Weasley and muggle-born Hermione Granger, broke into the Ministry of Magic to interrupt a Muggle-Born Registration hearing. This incident resulted in the escape of many convicted magic-stealing criminals set for Azkaban. Does this sound like the actions of “The Chosen One?” I think not. If it was not obvious before, it should be now that Harry Potter is a traitor to the Wizard race. I believe we are in one of the most important times of our recent history in that we have the ability to fix the wrongs of the past. The recent discovery that magic can only be inherited when a wizard reproduces may be shocking to some, but we must not delay in ensuring the safety of our world. If we allow those who stole their magical ability from natural-born wizards to continue to walk among us, it may not be long before you wake up unable to use your wand. If one of your friends or coworkers seems to be engaging in suspicious activities such as harboring muggle-borns, they may be part of a secret terrorist organization called The Order of the Phoenix; they may even be participating unknowingly, as the “Order” has a long history with using the Imperius Curse. With known members including werewolves, giants and even convicted criminal Sirius Black, The Order of the Phoenix should be regarded as extremely dangerous. Harry Potter is the symbol and champion for both the Order and the magic-stealing muggles; if you have any information on him or his supporters, do not fear to contact the authorities. Remember, in these trying times, we must take the necessary steps to correct the mistakes of the past. If you see any suspicious muggle-born activity, do not hesitate to defend yourself. It may be your last chance to do so.

the217.com

Grayson

Album review: The weird sisters

An Australian #1 Artist Friday, July 15th

by Drew Hatcher The latest offering from The Weird Sisters, Unforgivable Curses, is aptly named: they must have been under an Imperius Curse when they wrote it, listening to the album is like suffering a Cruciatus Curse, and I’d almost rather perform the Killing Curse on myself than hear it again. While it does mark a departure from the rather mindless, generic and poppy drivel from their last album (“Do the Hippogriff,” anyone?), it takes a somewhat forced and absurd political turn in an attempt to reflect on (what the band refers to in the first single as) “These Troubled Times.” Sure, things aren’t exactly great right now, but the exaggerated fearmongering of one of the wizarding world’s most washed-up bands really isn’t what we need. Songs such as “You Know Who’s in Charge Here” and “Dark Mark Breakdown” cater to the more outlandish rumors that have popped up recently. After hearing this album, it’s hard not to think that it’s time for The Weird Sisters to hang it up for good. They’ve lost the raw power that drove their early albums, and their “evolution” into a dark, brooding band seems like a desperate publicity stunt. They’re clearly feeding on the wizard community’s darkest fears to sell records — what we need right now is a message of hope. Save your Sickles, and skip buying this one.

66 gigs in 66 days on Route 66 with a film crew following his every move! Don’t miss your chance to take part in this HISTORIC EVENT and be on TV! Grayson will only be playing for one hour between 8 & 9pm.

(217) 398-1097

TALK TO BUZZ

COVER DESIGN Olivia La Faire EDITOR IN CHIEF Dylan Sutcliff MANAGING EDITOR Peggy Fioretti ART DIRECTOR Olivia La Faire COPY CHIEF Drew Hatcher PHOTOGRAPHY EDITOR Sean O’Connor IMAGE EDITOR Peggy Fioretti PHOTOGRAPHERS Sean O’Connor, Esther Hev, Philip Coseres DESIGNERS Lucas Albrecht MUSIC EDITOR Adam Barnett FOOD & DRINK EDITOR Samantha Bakall MOVIES & TV EDITOR Nick Martin ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Joe Lewis COMMUNITY EDITOR Amy Harwath CU CALENDAR Mandy Blackburn COPY EDITORS Matt Entler MARKETING/DISTRIBUTION Brandi Willis EDITORIAL ADVISER Marissa Monson PUBLISHER Mary Cory ON THE WEB www.the217.com EMAIL buzz@readbuzz.com WRITE 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 CALL 217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © ILLINI MEDIA COMPANY 2011

Grimace found a small bag of 15 Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, all curiously coloured a light blue. “Bertie Bott’s typically feature a variety of colours and flavours,” Grimace explained. “So we knew something was a bit suspicious.” The ministry then sent an anonymous employee to a Muggle house in Central Westminster for what the Minister referred to as a “taste test to market a new food.” Upon the instant death of the three Muggle children occupying the house, the Ministry concluded the beans to be cyanide-flavoured. Bott was instantly seized and tried at the ministry for treason and attempted murder, after which he was instantly transported to Azkaban.

BUZZ STAFF

Scenes of chaos and carnage taint the usually peaceful interior of Mt. Dragonsnuff, a currently active supervolcano. After reportedly being “angry” at orders to collect rocks and minerals from the pulsing flame mountain, goblin miners reportedly threw down their pickaxes and began to chant, “We say no to your volcano!” Without magic on their side, the Goblins’ rebellion was quickly repressed by a total execution. Unfortunately, these riots may cause setbacks in the current Dragon’s Zinc excavation process. When asked to comment, Goblin activist Ragnok the Pigeon-Toed said, “The wizards have ignored us for too long! Our angers parallel the volcano’s molten lava, for it is an anger that is red, liquid and harmful to direct skin contact!”

Bertie Bott’s Bean Plot Botched

by Nick Martin

by Adam Barnett Candy lovers in the wizarding world might want to start reconsidering their love for Every Flavour Beans: pure-blood Bertie Bott was tried and sent to Azkaban on Thursday for his attempt to murder the Dark Lord. On Wednesday, Minister for Magic Pius Thicknesse received a package from an unidentified owl addressed to the Dark Lord himself, a move Thicknesse describes as “foolishness beyond that of a thick-skulled mountain troll.” “The Dark Lord does not accept packages,” he said. “He’s much too busy purifying the Earth of the less-than-superior beings.” Upon inspection of the package, ministry worker Charles

VOLCANO!

We need to fill the bar for the show, so come early to get your seat!

memphisonmain.com 55 E. Main St. Champaign, IL

www.grayson-music.com

Vintage & Contemporary Home Furnishings

EXCLUSIVE GOBLIN RIOTS ERUPT INSIDE

JULY 14 - 20, 2011

41 E. University Ave., Suite 1E 217-402-5541

1/2 block east of Walnut, next to the Inman in downtown Champaign

Hours: Mon - Thurs: 10am - 6pm Fri & Sat: 10am - 5pm

Use your Education Discount.

We carry high-quality, gently used furniture and home accents at affordable prices.

Free Parking

“Like” us on Facebook . or visit copaseticconsignments.com

Save an additional $50 on in-stock MacBook Pros.

Through July 17

Buy a Mac for college and get $100 to spend on the Mac App Store. Terms and Conditions apply. Visit www.apple.com/promo for official promotion details.

Plus get a $100 instant rebate on a wireless printer/scanner/copier with purchase of any Mac.

SAVE $20 on in-stock iPad 2.

OS X Lion

Get a free update with any new Mac.

Through July 17

512 E. Green Street, In The Heart of Campus www.illinitechcenter.com • 217.337.3116 Hours: Mon–Fri: 9am–6pm Sat–Sun: 11am–5pm

buzz

ONE on ONE by Nick Martin

WITH HOW TO DRESS WELL

»buzz: How do you recreate your music for an outdoor festival environment? AHG: This is the question I’ve been asking myself... First off, I’m a pop musician, and I perform like a pop star — I have backing tracks, and I perform a live vocal. I like to think of the show as more of a performance along those lines, rather than a performance like a “rock ‘n roll” band. It’s really interesting I’m going to be playing outside ... it’s hard to know what to do with that. Usually, I like playing special venues where I have control of the ambiance: fog, lights, video (I do all the design for my show with help from a friend for the videos). I try and use an eye to create a certain affective ambiance. There’s a big difference between How to Dress Well on record and How to Dress Well live. For me, the record is really quiet and intimate; I listen to it on headphones, when I’m lonely, or when public spaces leave me wanting something more. I make music from this possession, too, so live, when the music’s loud, it’s really different. I think people find it challenging to have a public experience with my music because it’s really intimate for them. My music is really affective, emotional, spacey and weird. How to accommodate that in a live space is something I struggle with and think about a lot. When I make my music, I try to let myself feel really murky and foggy. I often find my mind will be flooded with abstract emotions and images, so I try and create my music from there. I think the people who are into my music listen to it and are moved affectively, and I try to recreate that ambiance. I try to create the live space to accommodate the fragility of my voice and the songs I make. My thinking right now is I would encourage people to respond to the music live just as they would on the record. I’m always honored by people who are into my songs. If you get it, that means you really listened and

let your heart open up. That’s really humbling and... Dope? »buzz: You said you think of yourself as a “Pop Star.” Could you elaborate? AHG: Basically, I think of the live show as designing a show for a pop performer to do. That sounds like such a fun job to me. Obviously, I don’t do costume changes or crazy entrances or exits or whatever. That’s all just an extension of what I’m trying to do. I think it’s cool that pop music is becoming more democratically available. You don’t have to be a rich guy with a full studio in your house to make pop music anymore. Likewise, you don’t need to have a $300,000 touring budget to do pop performances live. I think a lot of people still don’t know how to respond to this new trend, like what to do with pop music live. People are so used to seeing bands and listening to new guitar solos to make it a live experience or going to heavy shows and watching people freak out. A quiet, emotional pop performance is challenging for people, but I really love doing it. I’m very new at doing the live stuff, so I’m still feeling my way out. It’s interesting to think about what a live performance is supposed to mean and do. »buzz: How do you define pop music because I’m pretty sure you don’t mean “What’s popular.”? AHG: For me, what makes pop music special is that it’s an immediate access to the emotion, or affect, or pathos of the song. When you listen to free jazz, you have to have an esoteric knowl-

Used with permission from One Thirty BPM. Photo by Philip Cosores

edge to get into it — you have to know a special sequence of signifiers. With pop music, those signifiers are the most superficial emotions. But I think pop music is simple out of profundity. It understands that the surface of things is really important. My music is right on the surface; what I discovered, in order to convey complex emotions, I didn’t need to go deep or profound. I could do it right at the surface with pop music. The way I think of my music is that it’s really superficial, but really complex emotions. »buzz: Do you describe your sound as low-fi? AHG: Not really. To me, when someone says the term low-fi, I think of a three-piece garage band — really heavy, fuzzy, etc. I like to think that my sound on Love Remains is “soft focus” or “low resolution,” rather than low fidelity. Love Remains sounds the way it does for a reason. I had an opportunity to rerecord everything as a

“high fidelity” album, but that just didn’t seem like the right form for the content of that record. That’s not to say I will never make a hi-fi record; it’s a specific record for me, and it demands a specific sound. »buzz How would you describe the emotions your music invokes? I’d say sad, but maybe that’s an oversimplification. AHG: Yeah, very sad. It’s very sad. I hope the sadness is more complex than whatever emo bands are popular now. I think it’s a more complex, confusing and ambiguous sadness. The problem with emo — and the reason that teenagers like it, and most people grow out of it — is that it’s not sad enough. The tragedy is so excessive that it just falls flat. Once you’re still depressed, but no longer a teenager, that depression stops feeling exciting, and it’s just fucking up your life.

july 8 & july 29 DEL CASTILLO

PA R K RCH A E S R, E RE CENTE L IN O IS AT T H N N E R T E R S IT Y O F IL BY KRA IV

YOU E UN HT TO C & TH B R O U G L O P M E N T, L L E V DE T K IN S F O X /A COMMUNITY PARTNER:

buzz

The essence of a summer’s day— breezy and free—inspires these open-air concerts that light up the night. The food is fresh, the vibe is green, and admission is FREE! Join us at the corner of First Street and St. Mary’s Road in Champaign. Parking is FREE and bike racks are available.

MATUTO

FR JUL 8

Corn Desert Ramblers at 6:30PM Del Castillo [Volcanic Latin rock]

FR JUL 29 Green Fair: Recycling Remix at 6PM The Duke of Uke & His Novelty Orchestra at 6:30PM Matuto [Brazilian Carnival dance] BE SURE TO THANK A SPONSOR FOR MAKING GOOD STUFF HAPPEN!

the217.com

Ah, puns. Typical.

DON’T BEE AFRAID H O N E Y B E E S A R E F R I E N D LY I N S E C T S , B U T W H A T ’ S C AU S I N G T H E M T O D I S A P P E A R ?

by Esther Hou cenes of swarming bees have become particularly popular with movies that include disasters. Apparently, swarms of bees rank high among fear-instillers such as earthquakes, tornadoes and hurricanes. Thus, there has risen a generation (of which I am part) that goes running in the opposite direction with vigorous head shaking and shrieking whenever a bee comes into close proximity. Alex Wild, a postdoctoral researcher in the Department of Entomology at the University of Illinois, said that bee swarms are actually quite the opposite of how Hollywood portrays them. “The gentlest, happiest, most mellow bees that you will ever see are swarming. It’s how bee colonies reproduce,” Wild clarified. So that incredibly loud buzzing noise coming from that huge group of bees right outside your window? Yep. They’re all very full from honey and looking forward to becoming busy bees. “There’s no brood or hive or honeycomb to defend, so they’re much less defensive than they otherwise are,” said Wild. “Separate them from the hives, and bees are the mellowest things ever.”

Alex Wild raises bees in his backyard in Urbana

Now that honey is wanted in bulk and bees are needed by the thousands to pollinate crops, beekeeping has become “commercial migratory.” That is, bees will spend different seasons in different parts of the country. This poses a risk to the bees because different types of bees are being moved around together; diseases harmless to one species may be deadly to another. “It’s a public health disaster,” said Wild. “It spreads very rapidly because people are trucking bees everywhere, all the time. Any disease that shows up on our shores is everywhere.” Landscape change has also been detrimental to bees. As people take over more land, what used to be a stretch of native prairie for bees has become farmland. “You go out of town, and it’s a soybean desert. It’s productive agribusiness, but it is basically a parking lot from the standpoint of biology,” said Wild. “It doesn’t help support anything other than the production of soy and corn.” CCD is not unprecedented. However, the disappearance of bees can have a domino effect on other crops that heavily depend on bee pollination. No bees? No kiwifruit, watermelon, cantaloupe, pumpkin, macadamia nuts, almonds, passion fruit, vanilla, cocoa — the list is extensive. Those Hollywood blockbusters have it backwards. The real disaster isn’t a swarm of bees attacking a village; it’s having bees disappear. Those little buggers are certainly important and play a much larger role in the ecosystem than they are given credit for.

THE217.COM

In general, bees are very misunderstood because of their reputation for a mean sting. While this reputation is not unfounded, most of them are uninterested in stinging people unless their personal safety is threatened. Insects that are aggressive and sting tend to live in social groups. Out of several thousands of bee species, there are a few hundred species that live in these social groups, such as bumblebees. On the other hand, most bees actually live in solitude, raising their young in a burrow. “[Solitary insects] only sting ... when you pick them up and squeeze them,” said Wild. “The

times that people get stung by a leafcutter bee are just because they get one caught in their shirt.” Like the bumblebee, honeybees are also social. They are usually the ones we think of when it comes to honey-making and honeycombs. These bees are originally from Asia, but they were brought over to North America several centuries ago for cultivation purposes. In fact, Wild has two hives of honeybees in his backyard. Wild recommends starting with two to three hives. If anything goes wrong with one hive, resources from the other hive(s) can be used to help the struggling hive. And don’t think Wild is the only one with such an avid interest in bees. Urban beekeeping is becoming much more popular. Just last year, New York lifted its ban on urban beekeeping, while the University of Illinois opened its first class about bees and beekeeping. Wild thinks that those who are anti-bee are probably misinformed. Bees are going to be around, regardless of whether or not the neighbor decides to host them in his or her backyard. “They are fully capable of surviving in the wild. We’ve only partially domesticated them. So, it’s not like by banning beekeeping in urban areas, you’re actually not going to have any bees,” said Wild. Interest in bees can be clearly seen in the news and discussions on Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD), which is a phenomenon of entire colonies of bees simply disappearing and dying off. “No one knows what causes CCD. There are some culprits,” said Wild. “The landscape changes and the beekeeping practices sort of create difficult situations for the bees.”

JULY 14 - JULY 20, 2011

buzz

MUSIC

CATCH YOUR BUZZ EVERY THURSDAY EFORE YOU GO TO THE BARS

THIS WEEK KR ANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS

TH JUL 14

5pm

Krannert Uncorked with the King Family Band, bluegrass // Marquee

7:30pm

Blithe Spirit

// School of Music Office

of Outreach and Public Engagement

Blithe Spirit

Nick Bethune ,

Homer Glen,

“My band’s show is going to have to end early on Thursday night because of the midnight premiere.”

Taylor Robinson,

3pm

Blithe Spirit

6:30pm

Friends of Theatre Celebration

// Depar tment of Theatre // Depar tment of Theatre

WE JUL 20

Blithe Spirit

line up at midnight to catch the first showings. For some people, it’s just another day. For others, it’s the end of an era — and a reminder of childhood nights spent devouring the popular books. We checked in with a few locals to see how the release will affect their weekends and the rest of their lives...

// Depar tment of Theatre

SU JUL 17

7:30pm

hen Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows — Part 2, the final movie of the extremely popular series, hits theaters this Friday, July 15th, it will be the culmination of years of Harry Potter books and films. Diehard fans across the country will

Media Studies

Illinois Summer Youth Music

7:30pm

by Max Huppert

// Depar tment of Theatre

SA JUL 16

10am

How will the release of the final Harry Potter film on July 15th change your life?

IL, Senior in

// Depar tment of Theatre

FR JUL 15

7:30pm

• Talking WIth muggles

Danville, IL,

Senior in

Education

// Depar tment of Theatre

TH JUL 21

5pm

Krannert Uncorked with Ms. M & the Jokers, violin and cello duo // Marquee

7:30pm

Blithe Spirit

// Depar tment of Theatre

“When I finished the last book in high school, I thought I could die happy. Now I finally can.”

Veronica Steege Evanston,IL

Senior in

C A L L 3 3 3 . 6 2 8 0 • 1. 8 0 0 . K C P A T I X

Corporate Power Train Team Engine

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council—a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

buzz

IB/Anthropology

40 North and Krannert Center —working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

“I went to all of the book and movie premieres. It’s like the end of my childhood.”

Food

Drink

July 14 - 20, 2011

Spellbinding snacks ENCHANTING GOODIES FOR

by Jasmine Lee

onight at midnight premieres part two of The Deathly Hallows, the final Harry Potter film, and what better way to both celebrate this momentous event and weep for the end of our childhoods than to indulge in a smorgasbord of Harry Potter-themed desserts? Because while J.K. Rowling has peppered her books with unbelievably delicious-sounding dishes (Flaming Christmas Pudding, anyone?), let’s be honest. We are more interested in the sweet stuff. And butterbeer, sans the hassle of booking a flight to Universal Studios and lining up in the blistering heat to pay $8 for a chocolate frog. So slip on an apron, grab a mixing bowl, turn on any one of the preceding movies and imagine that you have been let loose in Molly Weasley’s kitchen.

CHOCOLATE

COVERED WANDS

HARRY POTTER Z E A L O T S

While wands and magic shenanigans exist solely within the confines of the wizarding world, yummy edible versions are an appropriate substitute. They are also far more satisfying than waving around bits of wood and yelling Latin gibberish. (Supposedly.)  1 bag of chocolate chips  1 package of long pretzel rods  Assorted decorative sprinkles Place chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl. Place bowl in microwave and heat on high for a minute and a half. Stir every 30 seconds. Dip a pretzel rod into the melted chocolate to cover about two inches of the tip. Sprinkle desired toppings on top of the chocolate, and then set the wand onto a sheet of wax paper to cool until chocolate has hardened. Repeat until you have made the desired number of pretzel wands.

Pumpkin

Pasties

Ah. Cho Chang’s preferred snack from the train trolley in the fourth film. Basically, these pasties are mini pumpkin pies tucked into a handy portable crust. A bit complicated to make, but the end results are little pockets of nutmeg goodness.

Used with permission from ohmeaghan and the Creative Commons

 1 1/4 cups all purpose flour  1 tablespoon granulated sugar  1/4 teaspoon salt

 5 tablespoons cold butter, cut into chunks  3 tablespoons vegetable shortening, chilled and cut into chunks  4-6 tablespoons ice water  1 cup canned pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie filling)  1/4 cup granulated sugar  1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg  1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon Place the flour, sugar and salt in a food processor and pulse a few times to combine. Drop the butter and shortening into the flour mixture. Pulse about 15 times until the mixture resembles coarse yellow meal, with no visible white powdery bits. Transfer the mixture into a large mixing bowl. Sprinkle 4 tablespoons of cold water over the mixture. Mix the dough with a wooden spoon until it clumps together. If it’s too dry, add more water, 1 tablespoon at a time. Gather the dough into a ball, and pat it into a disk. Wrap it in plastic and refrigerate for at least 1 hour. Combine the pumpkin, sugar, nutmeg, and cinnamon in a mixing bowl. Mix well. Preheat oven to 400 F. Roll out the dough 1/8-inch thick. Use a saucer to cut out 6-inch circles. Place 2 tablespoons of filling in the center of each circle of dough. Moisten the edges with water, fold the dough over the filling, and crimp with a fork to seal the edges. Cut slits to make vents. Bake on an ungreased cookie sheet for 30 minutes, or until browned. Yields 6 pasties.

ROCK CAKES A more palatable version of Hagrid’s admittedly off-putting goodies, which, if baked for the appropriate twenty-five minutes, will not need to be dunked in tea before digestion. Or if one needs to authentically partake of his baking, then by all means, bake them for an extra ten minutes.  2 cups all purpose flour  1/2 cup granulated sugar  1 teaspoon baking powder  1/2 teaspoon cinnamon  1/4 teaspoon salt  1 stick (8 tablespoons) of cold butter, cut into chunks  1 large egg  1/3 cup whole milk

the217.com

 1 cup raisins Preheat the oven to 350 F, and grease and flour a large cookie sheet. Combine the flour, sugar, baking powder, cinnamon and salt in a large mixing bowl. With your fingertips, knead the butter into the dry ingredients until the mixture becomes crumbly. Beat the egg and milk together, and pour it into the flour-butter mixture. Fold with spatula to form a stiff dough. Then, fold in the raisins. Drop rounded tablespoonfuls of dough two inches apart on the prepared cookie sheet. Bake for 25 minutes or until the bottoms are golden, rotating the pan midway through baking. Makes 12 rock cakes.

BUTTERBEER

Used with permission from jenni from the block and the Creative Commons

And to top off a glorious Harry Potter experience — the foamy, cream soda-y goodness that is butterbeer. Not exactly from Hogsmeade, but if you snuggle in with the fourth or sixth book, you can conjure up the appropriate Three Broomsticks atmosphere. This is a super simple variation, one that doesn’t call for an insane amount of spices and ingredients that are a bit unnecessary on a college student’s budget.  1 quart vanilla ice cream  1/4 cup butterscotch syrup  32 oz. cream soda Place 4 (16-ounce) glasses in freezer and chill for at least 20 minutes. Mix ice cream, butterscotch syrup and cream soda in a blender until combined. Divide between the frosted glasses. Top each glass with whipped cream, if desired. Serve with spoons and straws. Makes 4 drinks.

July is National Ice Cream Month Celebrate with your favorite frozen treat!

First

Neil

Green

Kirby Jarling’s

Jarling’s Custard Cup

309 W. Kirby, Champaign • 217-352-2273 Hours: Open Daily 12 noon-10pm Drive thru open till 9:45pm nightly

)'('

Custard Cup

BEST WOMEN’S CLOTHING STO RE

CIRCLES BOUTIQUE buzz

ARTS

ENTERTAINMENT

Week of Fri., July 15 - Thursday, July 21, 2011

Tree of Life (PG-13) FINAL WEEK!

Fri: (4:30), 7:30 PM Sat & Sun: (1:30), (4:30), 7:30 Mon-Thu: 7:30 PM

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (PG-13) New Bollywood film. Hindi, with subtitles.

Fri 10:30 PM

Source Code (PG-13)

35mm presentation. Only $3

Sat 10:30 PM Wed & Thu 10:30 PM

Take the CUMTD Bus www.theCUart.com

126 W. Church St. Champaign

MY CHILDHOOD IS OFFICIALLY OVER

WHY THE END OF THE HARRY POTTER FRANCHISE

MEANS I NEED TO STOP WRITING ABOUT KIDS BOOKS & GET A REAL JOB by Nick Martin

Nelson Beck

Certified Reflexologist 217•367•9642 spa 217•417•1235 cell

Reflexology This card is good for $10 off first time appointments. Not valid with other promotions. 2nd Floor, 115 W. Main St, Urbana, IL 61801 www.greenyogaspa.com

SAVOY 16 217-355-3456

S. Neil St. (Rt. 45) at Curtis Rd. GQTI.com and on Facebook

$5.75

BARGAIN TWILIGHT D A I LY 4 : 0 0 - 6 : 0 0 P M * excludes Digital 3D & Fathom events

SHOWTIMES 7/15 - 7/21

No passes S Stadium seating

TITLES AND TIMES SUBJECT TO CHANGE

KIDS SUMMER all MOVIES $1seats Mon 7/18 - Fri 7/22 at 10:00 AM

STUART LITTLE (PG)

MET SUMMER ENCORE: TOSCA WED. 7/20 - 6:30 PM 3D HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2

(PG-13) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 12:00, 12:30, 3:00, 3:30, 6:05, 6:30, 9:00, 9:30 FRI/SAT LS 12:00

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2

(PG-13) 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, 10:15 S 12:15, 12:45, 1:00, 3:15, 3:45, 4:00, 6:15, 6:45, 7:00, 9:15, 9:45, 10:00 WINNIE THE POOH (G) 11:35, 1:25, 3:25, 5:10, 7:10 HORRIBLE BOSSES (R) 11:05, 2:20, 4:35, 6:50, 9:05 FRI/SAT LS 11:20 S 12:55, 3:10, 5:25, 7:40, 9:55 ZOOKEEPER (PG) 11:10, 1:35, 4:05, 6:25, 8:50 FRI/SAT LS 11:15 S 3D TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON (PG-13) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET

12:05, 3:20, 6:35, 9:50 S TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON (PG-13) 11:40, 2:55, 6:10, 9:25 MONTE CARLO (PG) 2:15, 9:10 LARRY CROWNE (PG-13) FRI-TUE, TH 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20, 9:40 FRI/SAT LS 12:00 WED 12:20, 2:40, 9:40 CARS 2 (G) 11:30, 2:05, 4:30, 7:05, 9:35 BAD TEACHER (R) 12:50, 3:05, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35 FRI/SAT LS 11:45 MR. POPPER’S PENGUINS (PG) 11:55, 4:40, 6:55 SUPER 8 (PG-13) 8:55 FRI/SAT LS 11:25

buzz

EXCLUSIVE

’m preemptively sad about seeing The Deathly Hallows Pt. 2 because it’s going to make me re-confront my mortality. That’s the point of a supernatural coming-of-age story, is it not? The hero’s epic quest overlaps with his maturation into adulthood; defeating the ultimate nemesis is synonymous with surviving puberty. When our protagonist faces death, he can leave childish things behind him. That’s why Harry dies at the... Well, I’m getting ahead of myself! The Harry Potter franchise makes me feel old. At the start of Sorcerer’s Stone, Harry was ten — I was eight. I’m twenty now. Because of publishBUZZ ing delays, my age eventually matched Harry’s. I was seventeen when THURSDAY JULY 14came out — and I read it in 29 hours. I felt like the last Deathly Hallows corp note...keep this same size always book didn’t mark the real end of the franchise because there were still movies, but now those are finished, too. I can’t help but feel nostalgic at 1 X 5.417 the dissolution of my childhood iconography. Harry Potter is arguably the 1/8th page biggest pop culture sensation of the “Millennial” generation. Not much of anything gets as popular as Harry did, especially something based on a dumb, “dying medium” book! But serialization allowed Harry to grow up with his audience, and the franchise turned a sad single mother into a multi-million dollar sensation. Perhaps coolest of all, like no other books from our childhood, Harry Potter made little kids genuinely enjoy reading — even if it’s just four thousand pages of witchcraft and wizardry. Rowling did not invent the fantasy bildungsroman genre — for that, we can thank C.S. Lewis’ proselytizing Narnia books or Lloyd Alexander’s criminally underappreciated Chronicles of Prydain. What makes Rowling’s novels unique is the way the characters aged with the novel’s readers. If you started reading the books at the right time, your teenage angst overlapped with Harry’s teenage angst; your first kiss overlapped with Hermione and Ron’s first kiss. When children of the future read these books, they’ll be able to read them all in one big binge. We had to wait for years before we found out how Harry would beat Voldemort. While writing about maturation, Rowling’s prose style matured with each successive book — the stories got longer, and characters dealt with increasingly “complicated” problems (i.e. making out). The Sorcerer’s Stone seems like a bedtime story compared to the sprawling epic of The Deathly Hallows. But Rowling’s influence reaches far outside Potter. Children’s book publishers soon noticed all the money that was being raked in by the nerd with the lightning bolt scar. Much to the chagrin of media watchdog groups across middle America, witchcraft and the occult are one of the primary genres of young adult lit. To this day, Harry Potter-inspired books proliferate the kid lit shelves: Artemis Fowl, Bartimaeus, Spiderwick Chronicles and even Twilight wouldn’t exist if Harry Potter hadn’t reaffirmed the marketability of teen fantasy. Anyone who says books are a dying medium must not have seen the lines outside Barnes and Noble every other summer.

But why read a book when you can just watch a movie? What enshrined Harry Potter’s place in our pop culture subconscious is its corresponding multi-million dollar film franchise. Finally, illiterate children and busy adults could jump on the bandwagon. Since the franchise is so long and so lucrative, it would have been risky to just leave the task up to one director. Each film wildly varies in tone and style because there are almost more Harry Potter directors than there are Defense Against the Dark Arts professors. Together, the films make an excellent case study on adaptation. The first two movies were directed by Chris Columbus (writer of Gremlins and The Goonies) in hopes of marketing toward little kids — if you remember, the first two films saw “Harry Potter Mania” at its peak. Like any high-concept blockbuster, Harry Potter toys/candies/feminine hygiene products/crap/etc. proliferated in Walmarts and Targets across the country. Remember when people willingly paid money to eat those shitty jelly beans that taste bad on purpose? Weird. As the books got “darker,” Columbus stepped down, and the films were turned over to different directors. Alfonso Cuarón, future director of Children of Men, directed The Prisoner of Azkaban. Cuarón was able to maintain the detail (ex: every painting moves) and the suspense (ex: the scary werewolf) that makes the books so exciting. Mike Newell (Four Weddings and a Funeral) headed The Goblet of Fire. For lack of space, I will only say that Newell was a poor choice. Thankfully, David Yates saved the franchise with a nuanced understanding of the characters (Dumbledore is so badass in The Order of the Phoenix), an understanding of cinematography and special effects and a willingness to take the series in a more mature direction. I’m not sure how Yates got the job directing expensive summer blockbusters (besides the Potters, Yates has only directed made-for-TV movies), but the point is moot. Yates picked up where Cuarón left off and figured out the best tone for the series. Who says a kid’s book can’t say “bitch”? Perhaps what I’ll miss most about Harry Potter is the spectacle that followed every new book and movie. I remember going to a Chicago suburb that transformed their entire downtown into a mock Diagon Alley. They had butterbeer. It was awesome. Worst of all, pending unforeseen remakes, I’ll never bring a wooden stick to an AMC on a Thursday at 11:45 ever again. Besides Star Wars, movies don’t usually make people nerd out, buy a costume and shout Latin incantations at strangers. Even though the series is essentially about growing up, Harry Potter also created a world of perpetually amazed innocence. Because even though the characters had to learn about the terrifying consequence of unchecked power, they also had to learn how to take care of dragons and how to fight cave trolls. Magic, by definition, allows anything to happen — it defies logic. And something about that idea only makes sense to the kid inside us— someone who isn’t jaded and already bitter about the world around them. The books affirm that courage is rare, but essential; wisdom does not heed age restrictions; companionship is more important than anything else; and love really is a force to be reckoned with. Those seem like good lessons to learn early. I’m glad they were taught to me by an imaginary wizard.

Avis! You Bitch!

WHAT WE WISH THEY LEFT IN

by Dylan Sutcliff and Samantha Bakall

THE THIRD

CHALLENGE IN THE

GOBLET OF FIRE

The burning Burrow in The Half Blood Prince. Used with permission from Warner Brothers Studio

It’s a toss-up for which Harry Potter movie is my least favorite, but the treatment of the final challenge in The Goblet of Fire is easily the biggest beef I have with the films. In an interview with Mike Newell, the director cited Kubrick’s The Shining as direct inspiration for the wizard’s third task in the hedge maze. While this is a cool idea, it has absolutely no place in a Harry Potter movie. In Rowling’s telling, the Triwizard champions are posed against mythical beasts that test the students’ wizarding ability (Harry’s fight with the Boggart) and their intelligence (Harry answering the Sphinx’s riddle). Instead, Newell made a few branches move suspiciously and blew some wind in the contestants’ faces; it’s a joke. Basically, if you’re going to change one of the most iconic scenes of a book, don’t copy an even more iconic scene from a famous film. But if you MUST change it, do it well. Otherwise, you’re embarrassing all of us.

THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN HARRY & AUNT PETUNIA IN THE

ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

In this scene, Harry attempts to explain what really happened between him and Dudley after Dementors come to Little Whinging. Uncle Vernon doesn’t want to hear a word of it until Harry begins talking about Dementors. When he is about to describe what they do, Aunt Petunia answers for him (“they guard the wizard prison, Azkaban”). After the initial shock of her answer, Harry calmly begins talking about the Dementors and the rise of Lord Voldemort. In this moment, Harry appreciates that Aunt Petunia is related to him. She is the only one who truly understands what this means to both the wizarding and Muggle worlds. It brings dimension to her character and makes her seem a little less nasty than we all thought her to be.

THE VOLDEMORT

TABOO IN THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PT. 1

Voldemort puts a trace on his name, as only those who are fighting against him are bold enough to say it. When someone says “Voldemort,” Death Eaters immediately apparate to that location to capture them. The movie merely alludes to this in the scene where Harry, Ron and Hermione are in the coffee shop in London. They say his name, and two Death Eaters come to capture them. In the book, one of the characters slips up while they are camping, says Voldemort’s name and is snatched. In the film, Harry, Ron and Hermione are captured when the Snatchers are waiting for them in The Forest of Dean. It’s not exactly explained how the Snatchers knew they were there, perhaps because they camped there previously, or maybe it was just a hunch. Either way, explaining the taboo in the seventh film would have made it easier to understand how they were found and how the Death Eaters and Voldemort were finding people so quickly.

This is one of the most stupid scenes in the entire film series. First and foremost, IT DIDN’T HAPPEN IN THE BOOKS! What really irks me about the scene is that it doesn’t even fit in with the rest of the plot. Directly after, the film jumps forward in time to when the characters are back at Hogwarts dealing with the same problems as the rest of the film: Ron’s relationship with Lavender Brown and Harry’s struggle to be close to Ginny. There’s never an explanation for the attack, nor does the film ever show its repercussions. It literally serves no purpose. Producer David Baron told The Herald Sun, “This [scene] was brought in because even in what would normally be considered the safe haven of the Burrow, nobody’s safe.” Yes, that makes sense, but doesn’t this exact situation happen in The Deathly Hallows in the attack during Bill and Fleur’s wedding? And if you were going for more action, more bang for your buck, then why not include the battle scene after Dumbledore’s death? This is where Fenrir Greyback maims Bill Weasley, and much more happens, but it’s somehow skipped over. I don’t get it.

dapting a popular book series that spans seven years and contains over 4,000 pages is a difficult task. For the most part, Steve Kloves (the screenwriter for the series) did a great job transferring the major themes and characters from the page to the silver screen, and it would be ridiculous to expect every single aspect from the books to carry on to the films, but any big fan of the book series will agree that there are some things that are just annoying about the movies. It’s hard to say who is to blame for this. It could be the director, Kloves or the producers of the films that made these decisions. Regardless, here are our biggest beefs.

HERMIONE & RON ARE PREFECTS THE ATTACK ON THE BURROW IN ORDER OF THE PHEONIX IN THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE

harry potter

This definitely adds fuel to the fire in the beginning of book five. Harry, who has been stranded with the Dursleys for a month, is finally rescued and brought to the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. Not only is he livid that he has heard absolutely no news about anything from anyone, but when he arrives, he soon finds out that Hermione and Ron were chosen to be prefects and not him. This jealousy continues to eat away at Harry throughout the year, making him extremely irritable and bitter towards the two of them. Much of the fifth book also stems from Harry’s inability to act on the problems around him, causing him to feel worthless and unable to find a direction. A big cause of this is Dumbledore’s refusal to speak to him and choice to leave him in the dark. It’s revealed later that Dumbledore was trying not to push unnecessary strain on Harry’s already-full mind. However, Harry views Dumbledore’s inattentiveness as evidence of his own limited ability and self-doubt. In the movie, Harry discusses feeling isolated, and this information in the movie would have only helped that theme.

Adapting

the217.com July 14 - 20, 2011

buzz

CALENDAR

JULY 14 - 20, 2011

Complete listing available at

THE217.COM/CALENDAR

SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at the217.com/calendar • E-mail: send your notice to calendar@the217.com • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 14

lectures

Champaign Libetarians live music discuss civil unions and Jazz in the Courtyard beyond Illini Union, U, 12pm Urbana Free Library, U, Big Bluestem String Band 7pm Wines at the Pines, U, 7pm literary Billy Galt and Jeff Kerr AnSun, C, 7pm A to Z to ! Chillax UI Rare Book & Manuscript Radio Maria, C, 9pm Library, 8:30am

fashion

DJ BJ Dance Night Po’ Boys, U, 8pm Here Come the Regulars Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm DJ Luniks Firehaus, C, 10pm, $5 Open Deck Night Radio Maria, C, 10pm

Yarn n Yak Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 7pm

kids and families

Preschool Story Time Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 10am Raising Readers karaoke Rantoul Public Library, Liquid Courage Karaoke Rantoul, 10:30am, Memphis on Main, C, 9pm 3:30pm RockStarz Karaoke: Pre- Baby Time sented by 3L EntertainDouglass Branch Library, ment C, 10:30am Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaLunch on the Lawn voy, 9pm Rantoul Public Library, RockStarz Karaoke: Rantoul, 12:15pm Presented by 3L Entertain- ARTfusion ment Douglass Branch Library, Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm C, 4pm

movies

mind/body/spirit

Global Lens International Film Screening: Soul of Sand (La Mirada Invisible) The Art Theater, C, 5:30pm Srugim Viewing The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7:30pm IUB Quad Cinema: Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family Illini Union, U, 9pm

Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Core Yoga with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 12pm, $12 Hot Yoga Evolve Fitness Club, C, 12pm, $10 Yoga Institute of C-U Continuing Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, stage 5:15pm, $14 Playing with Shakespeare Yoga Institute of CU Rantoul Public Library, Experienced Beginner Rantoul, 2:30pm Classes Open Stage at Red Herring BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute Red Herring Coffeehouse, of C-U, U, 5:45pm, $14 U, 9pm

Andy Moreillon Fat City Bar & Grill, C, 4pm Urbana Nights: Late Night Shopping Heartland Gallery, U, 4pm ‘Appy Hour Silvercreek, U, 5:30pm, $2-$10 Benefit for the Litchford Family Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 6pm Grayson - Australian #1 Artist Memphis on Main, C, 8pm Red Trio Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm Verona Red with Dan Hubbard and The Humadors Memphis on Main, C, 9pm DJ Bange Phoenix, C, 9pm Decadents Cowboy Monkey, C, 9:30pm, $5

museum exhibit

literary

dance music

DJ Mella D Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm DJ Tommy Williams Chester Street, C, 9pm, $3 DJ Delayney Highdive, C, 10pm,$5 DJ Cal Emmerich Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm DJ Delayney Highdive, C, 10pm, $5

A to Z to ! UI Rare Book & Manuscript Library, 8:30am Zionist Food for Thought The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 12pm

Salsa Night with DJ Dr. J Radio Maria, C, 10pm

dance music

mind/body/spirit

art exhibit

Yoga Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 12pm Vinyasa Krama Yoga with Don Briskin Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12

Of Dreams and Fable Illini Union, U, 12pm

Urbana Country Dancers Contra Dance Phillips Recreation Center, U, 8pm, $5

karaoke RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by 3L Entertainment

Warriors, Guardians, and Demons Spring Prairie Skies William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 7pm IBEX: Search for the Edge of the Solar System William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 8pm

recreation Freestyle Ice Arena, C, 9am Adult Rat Hockey Ice Arena, C, 3:15pm,$6-$9 Stick and Puck Beginner Hockey Ice Arena, C, 5pm, $6-$9 Open Gym Volleyball Champaign County Brookens Administration Center, U, 5:30pm, $1 Public Skate Ice Arena, C, 7:30pm, $4-$5

miscellaneous International Coffeehouse Etc. Coffee House, U, 4pm

Big Red Skillet Boomerang’s Bar and Grill, U, 9pm Kilborn Alley Blues Band JonEB’s 9pm Crazy Johnny Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm CPX, The Yippies, Voices of Fury, Scavenger Phoenix, C, 9pm

dj DJ Belly Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm DJ Randall Ellison Chester Street, C, 9pm, $3 DJ: Presented by 3L Entertainment D.R. Diggers, C, 9:30pm Goth Night The Clark Bar, C,10pm DJ Space Police Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm

karaoke RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by 3L Entertainment Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm

art Larry Kanfer Gallery Off the Wall Event Larry Kanfer Photography Gallery, C, 10am

museum exhibit

Karaoke at Po’ Boys Po’ Boys, U, 9pm DJ Bange Karaoke Phoenix, C, 9pm

food and drink Half Price Happy Hour Emerald City Lounge, C, 5pm

IBEX: Search for the Edge of the Solar System William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 8pm Amazing Stargazing William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 7pm, $4-$5

food and drink

art exhibit

SATURDAY 16

recreation

Of Dreams and Fable Illini Union, U, 12pm

Krannert Uncorked Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U, 5pm

Of Dreams and Fable Illini Union, U, 12pm

live music

art

FRIDAY 15

art

art exhibit

Larry Kanfer Gallery Off the Wall Event Larry Kanfer Photography Gallery, C, 10am 10

buzz

live music Lukas Clide Illini Union, U, 12pm

Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm

Larry Kanfer Gallery Off the Wall Event Larry Kanfer Photography Gallery, C, 10am

Live Jazz with Panache Jim Gould Restaurant, C, 7pm Belclare Road- Country Memphis on Main, C, 8pm Decadents Joe’s Brewery, C, 8pm

Illinois Raptors Middle Fork River Forest Preserve, Penfield, 2pm

Public Skate Ice Arena, C, 1:30pm, $4-$5

community

campus activities

Market at the Square M and M: Midrash and Lincoln Square Mall, U,7am Meal The Hillel Foundation, The mind/body/spirit Margie K. and Louis N. CoYoga Fundamentals hen Center for Jewish Life, Amara Yoga & Arts, U, C, 6pm 9am, $12 game-playing Yoga Institute of C-U Experienced Beginner Big Dave’s Trivia Night Classes Cowboy Monkey, C, 7pm BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute Trivia Night of C-U, U, The Blind Pig Brewery, C, 9:45am, $14 7pm Yoga Institute of C-U mind/body/spirit Introduction Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute Slow Flow Yoga with of C-U, U, 11:30am, $14 Linda Lehovec Saturday Power Flow with Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Corrie Proksa 2:30pm, Amara Yoga & Arts, U, $12 4pm, $12 Hatha Flow Yoga with Maggie Taylor food and drink Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Sensational Saturday 4pm, $12 Tasting Happy Challenge Yoga Sun Singer Wine & Spirits, with Maggie Taylor C, 12pm Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Half Price Happy Hour 4pm, Emerald City Lounge, C, $12 5pm Collective Meditation Ananda Liina Yoga & SUNDAY 17 Meditation Center, U, 5pm

live music

Live Jazz with Panache Jim Gould Restaurant, C, 7pm Hessel Park Concerts Hessel Park, C, 6pm

open mic Open Mic Nite Phoenix, C, 7pm

stage Drag Show Chester Street, C, 10pm, $4

art exhibit Of Dreams and Fable Illini Union, U,

Freestyle Ice Arena, C, 12pm Public Skate Ice Arena, C, 1:30pm, $4-$5

art

kids and families

recreation

Family Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 1:15pm, $6-$12

Freestyle Ice Arena, C, 4:15pm

Larry Kanfer Gallery Off the Wall Event Larry Kanfer Photography Gallery, C, 12pm

miscellaneous The Zionist Lunch and Learn Cafe Sababa, C, 11:30am FriendShop Used Book Store Open Champaign Public Library, C, 1:30pm

classes and workshops Salsa Dance Lessons: Beginners Capoeira Academy, C, 6pm, $5 Salsa Dance Lessons: Intermediate/Advanced Capoeira Academy, C, 7:30pm, $5

food and drink Champagne Brunch with a Diva! Emerald City Lounge, C, 10am, $12

Sandy’s Bagel Brunch and Games The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 11am

MONDAY 18 live music One Dollar Wild Mondays Canopy Club, U, 10am Jesse Johnson Illini Union, U, 12pm

dj DJ Randall Ellison Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2

karaoke RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by 3L Entertainment Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 10pm

stage Monday Night Comedy Illini Union, U, 7pm

art exhibit Of Dreams and Fable Illini Union, U,

art MELD: Monday Evening Life Drawing group McGown Photography, 7pm, $7

recreation Freestyle Ice Arena, C, 4:30pm

campus activities Nutrition Walk In La Casa Cultural Latina, U, 5pm.

game-playing Trivia Night Bentley’s Pub, C, 7:30pm Bingo Night Memphis on Main, C, 10pm

literary A to Z to ! UI Rare Book & Manuscript Library, 8:30am

kids and families Baby & Me Yoga with Corrie Proksa Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 10:30am, $12

Serpensortia! Bitch!

JULY 14 - 20, 2011

mind/body/spirit

art exhibit

Yoga Institute of C-U Continuing Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 3:45pm, $14 Hatha Yoga with Grace Giorgio Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30pm, $12 Tarot Reader Boltini Lounge, C, 6:30pm Restorative Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 7pm, $12 Yoga St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church and Campus Center, C, 7pm Prana Flow Yoga Living Yoga Center, U, 7:15pm.

Of Dreams and Fable Illini Union, U,

classes and workshops Poetry Workshop Red Herring Coffeehouse, U, 7:30pm

TUESDAY 19 live music Alec Stern Illini Union, U, 12pm The Parkland Early Jazz Ensemble Iron Post, U, 7pm Blue Tuesdays- Presented by 3L Entertainment Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 7:30pm Dueling Guitars Jupiter’s II, C, 8pm Ole #7 Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm The Piano Man Canopy Club, U, 9pm

recreation

Ashtanga Yoga with Certified Yoga Teacher Lauren Quinn Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 7pm, $12

O Baby! Champaign Public Library, C, 9:45am

classes and workshops

campus activities

Adult Pottery Class Boneyard Pottery, C, 9am, 6:30pm, $25. Real Computing Help Douglass Branch Library, C, 6pm

campus activities Weekday Orthodox Minyan and Breakfast The Hillel Foundation: The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7:30am

game-playing

WEDNESDAY 20

Pokemon Fan Club Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 5:30pm CU64 Chess Club McKinley Presbyterian Church and Foundation, C, 7pm Euchre Po’ Boys, U, 7pm Live Trivia Buffalo Wild Wings, Savoy, 8pm

Trivia Tuesdays Memphis on Main, C, 7pm

live music

kids and families

Revive, Restore, Relax: Weston Wellness Weston Residence Hall, C, 3pm Knitting Club and Glee The Hillel Foundation: The food and drink Margie K. and Louis N. Taco Tuesdays Cohen Center for Jewish Emerald City Lounge, C, Life, C, 7pm. 5pm, $5

Kirby Kaiser literary Illini Union, U, 12pm A to Z to ! Open mic night at Samuel UI Rare Book & Manuscript Music Library, 8:30am Samuel Music, 5pm Donnie Heitler: Solo Piano kids and families Great Impasta, U,6pm Walk-in Storytime and Open Deck Night Creative Play Radio Maria, C, 9pm Class Act, C, 2pm, $2

lgbt Rainbow Coffeehouse Etc. Coffee House, U, 6pm

community Locals’ Night Po’ Boys, U, 4pm

mind/body/spirit

Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Hot Yoga Evolve Fitness Club, C, dance music 12pm, CUATSALSA Latin Dance $10 Night Hatha Flow Yoga with McKinley Presbyterian Maggie Taylor Church and Foundation, Amara Yoga & Arts, U, C, 9pm 12pm, $12 Awakening Yoga with karaoke Maggie Taylor RockStarz Karaoke: Pre- Amara Yoga & Arts, U, sented by 3L Entertain7:15am, $12 ment Yoga Institute of C-U 50+ Bentley’s Pub, C, Classes 10pm BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute RockStarz Karaoke: Pre- of C-U, U, sented by 3L Entertain10:30am, $14 ment Yoga Institute of C-U The Corner Tavern, Monti- Advanced Yoga Classes cello, 8pm BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute Rockstarz Karaoke of C-U, U, 5:15pm, Chester Street, C, 10pm $14 Slow Flow Yoga with open mic Amanda Reagan Open Mic Night Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Cowboy Monkey, C, 5:30pm, 10pm $12

DJ Tommy Williams Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 DJ Randall Ellison Boltini Lounge, C, 9pm Old School Night Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm Wompdown Wednesdays: Chalice Mug Night! Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $1 I Love The ‘90s with DJ Mingram Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm

Storyshop at the Branch Douglass Branch Library, C, 10:30am Common Ground Story Time Common Ground Food Coop, U, 10:30am

seniors Senior Free Wii Days Phillips Recreation Center, U, 9am

mind/body/spirit

open mic

miscellaneous

Writ ‘n Rhymed Poetry Open Mic Women’s Resources Center, C, 8:30pm Open Mic Comedy Night Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Open Mic Nite Phoenix, C, 9pm

Cafe Ivrit Espresso Royale, U, 7pm

karaoke

SECTION

——— Carpet monster for sale ——— My wife and I received the carpet years ago as a wedding gift. Originally made in Prague, the carpet monster feeds on bugs, gnomes and unfortunately children. We have given the carpet multiple chances to change its ways but now that we are on our third child we do not want to risk another death.

ALL 18+ SHOWS

UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED, ALL START TIMES ARE 9:00 PM

TICKETS: THE CANOPY CLUB, MANOLO’S PIZZA & EMPANADAS, EXILE ON MAIN STREET PHONE: 1.800.514.ETIX | ONLINE: WWW.JAYTV.COM

EVERY TUESDAY $3 Long Islands, $2.25 Bud & Bud Light drafts !

EVERY WEDNESDAY $5 Mugs, $3 Refills, $1 Cover !

——— Girl seeking help ——— I am a teenage Mormon unsure who to choose for a boyfriend: a vampire or werewolf. The werewolf usually has his shirt off, but the vampire is so shiny! If I could get some guidance it would be appreciated. Regardless of choice, no sex will be had.

Curtis Orchard Opens Curtis Orchard, C, 9am

RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by 3L Entertainment Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm SuperStar Karaoke AnSun, C, 9pm

Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, C, 8pm Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

CLASSIFIED

708 S. GOODWIN AVENUE | 344-BAND | WWW.CANOPYCLUB.COM | WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/THECANOPYCLUB

community

Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Yoga Fundamentals Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12 Yoga Institute of C-U Women’s Classes BKS Iyengar Yoga Institute of C-U, U, 9:15am, $14 Yoga and Meditation Club Class Asian American Cultural Center, U, 5pm Wellness Wednesday Activities and Recreation Center (ARC), C, 5:15pm Hatha Flow Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30pm, $12

dance music

WIZARD

the217.com

classes and workshops

——— Witch seeking Witch ——— I am a middle aged witch looking for companionship with a younger mate. No fatties, smokers or muggle-borns. Please do not contact me if you are planning on using polyjuice potion to qualify as I have had a bad experience with mid-sex transformations and would like to refrain from it happening again.

——— Witch seeking Muggle ——— Witch seeking male muggle who needs a dominatrix. I will perform patrificus totalis to bind you then magically make you my bitch. If you are looking for a leather mama with a powerful stick, you’re in the right place.

——— Giant seeking Minataur ——— Looking for a one time experience with a fully functional bull-man to ask me riddles during sex. Very discreet, will meet you in middle of labyrinth. 420 friendly.

Improv Workout Class Act, C, 6:30pm, $10

buzz

Classifieds Place an Ad: 217 - 337 - 8337 Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition. Inde x Employment 000 Services 100 Merchandise 200 Transportation 300 Apartments 400 Other Housing/Rent 500 Real Estate for Sale 600 Things To Do 700 Announcements 800 Personals 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

HELP WANTED

Rates:

Billed rate: 43¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 37¢/word

Photo Sellers

30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

Garage Sales

30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads

• 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

buzz

410 APARTMENTS

Furnished/Unfurnished

Part time wait positions for evening. Must be ﬂexible. Apply at Manzella's Italian Patio, 115 S. First Street. Get up. Get out. Share your voice. The217.com is looking for writers to write event previews and reviews and bloggers who want to share their scene with the community beginning in August 2011. If youʼre interested in art, music, ﬁlm, theater or other events in CU and want to share your interests with the community, email producer@the217.com with two writing samples.

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

1 Bedroom Apartments 1006 W Springﬁeld, Urbana $600 includes parking, garbage, w/d in units Chris 684-2226 crpayne30@hotmail.com. COUNTRY FAIR APARTMENTS 1 & 2 Bedroom, furn/ unfurn, FREE Expanded 80+ Channels Cable TV, FREE High Speed Internet, FREE Water, Heater and trash removal. Off-street parking, indoor laundry, pool, tennis court. On 4 MTD bus routes. Small pet OK. M-F 9-5:30, Sat 9-12. 2106 W. White Street (near Springﬁeld Ave) 217-359-3713

304 E. Clark, C Castle Apartments

3 blocks to Engineering Quad. 3 and 4 BR. Starting at $860. New C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/ dryer in unit. 217-418-8674, castleproperty@gmail.com.

ON THIS

for the latest 107.1 WPGU playlist

280

MOVING SALE

Everything goes! Friday 7/15 & Saturday 7/16, 8am-12noon. 908 S. Lynn, Champaign (4 blocks south of Green & 5 blocks west of Neil). See you there!

Furnished/Unfurnished

410

BEST OFFER CAMPUS 1 Bedroom Loft 2 Bedroom 3 Bedroom 4 Bedroom Campus. 367-6626 Available August 2010

Courtyard on randolph < 713 S. randolph > now leasing for 2011-12

Furnished/Unfurnished 7 1 9 2 8 4 5 2 6& 33 bdrms. Near campus 4 downtown 5 2 7 6Champaign 8 3 9 1 & 8 9 $632/mo. 1 5 3 4 2 6 7 from Includes 9water, 1 8 trash, 4 5 parking, 3 6 7 2 laundry 7 4 3 facility, 2 1 seasonal 6 5 8 9 pool, all apts. have 5 2 6 8 7 9 1 3 4 balconies. 2

6 217-352-8540 5 9 4 1 7

1 8 9 6 2 7 4 5 3 www.faronproperties.com

506 & 508 W. Griggs, U. Includes parking & trash removal. Laundry in-building. $470-485/mo. CampoRental 344-1927 905 S. Locust 2 BR. Newer furniture and ﬂooring. Spacious/balcony, laundry. Parking $35-45 (covered). $720-$780 www.905sl.com 217-766-2245 Mon.-Sat. 906 S. Oak, Champaign Furnished 3 bedroom with study (4 bedroom) apartment for fall 2011. Laundry in the apartment. No pets. $1,200. Steve Frerichs 217-359-8450 stevesapartments.com

58 E. John, Champaign. Fall 2011. Two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwasher, center courtyard, on-site laundry, leather furniture, ﬂat screens, parking. Starting at $298/person. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

111 S. Busey

1 Bedroom 3 Bedroom Studio/Loft $560-650

Townhouse $860-1050

398-1998

CAPSTONE QUARTERS

August 2011. 2 bedroom apts- Furnish $700/mo. Central A/C, carpet, laundry. Parking optional. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com For virtual tours and ﬂoor plans visit our web site.

CONDOMINIUMS

Apartment Living Redeﬁned

Now Leasing

for August

2011

LISTEN IN TO $99 Security Deposit WPGU 107.1 ALL DAY, 29. Jul 2010 Part A Convenient Skill: EVERYDAY -Only 1.5 miles to Union

Quiet Townhouse $ 700-750

www.lincolnshireprop.com

609 W. MAIN, URBANA

Townhouse $1350

2 Bedroom Off-Campus

Available August 17th. One bedroom apartment near downtown Champaign. $537 - $568/mo. Heat, water, sanitation, trash and PARKING included. On-site laundry. No pets. Lease, deposit and references required. Call 337-7990.

From $698. 217-367-6626.

1 Bedroom Furnished

John Street Apartments

702 W. Washington, Champaign

2 Bedroom Available Fall 2011

420

Furnished

Available August 2011, Luxury 1370 sqft 3 bedroom townhomes in great location with 2 1/2 baths, washer/ dryers, ceramic tile, ceiling fans, garages. 3 bedroom $975/mo. To furnish, additional $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

THE217.COM

APARTMENTS

Heat, water, sewer, trash pd. 1 Bedrooms - $565 & $595/month. Some pet friendly. Quiet location, parking $40/month. www.tricountymg.com 217-367-2009

510 S. MATTIS CHAMPAIGN

Check out

420 APARTMENTS

908 S. Locust

CHEW

Colonial style building, on bus line. Interior one bedrooms starts at $415/mo. Large 2 bedroom apartments approx 800 sq. ft. $480/mo, Remodeled $500/mo to $525/mo. Interior 2 bedroom apartments from $460/mo. $50/mo to furnish. Central A/C, carpet, laundry, parking available. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

playing?

GARAGE SALES

Furnished

906 S. Oak, Champaign Furnished 3 bedroom with study (4 bedroom) apartment for fall 2011. Laundry in the apartment. No pets. $1,200. Steve Frerichs 217-359-8450 stevesapartments.com

1405-1407 W. KIRBY, CHAMPAIGN

Wanna know what we’re

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

www.myapartmenthome.com

Deadline:

2 p.m. Monday for the next Thursday’s edition.

020 APARTMENTS

Part time

Equipped

-One block from bike path to campus 4 -On-Site Management 7 4 1 2 6 8 5 3 9 2 5 1 -22 Illini Bus route every 1/2 hour 3 -Utility 9 6 Package 7 1 5Available 4 2 8 6 4 3 2 -Individual 5 8 4 Leases 9 3 7 6 1 8 9 7

greenstrealty.com 2 8 7 4 5 1 6 9 3 7 1091 8 4N.2Lincoln Ave. Urbana, IL 61801

7 CapstoneQuarters.com 9 3 1 6 7 2 4 8

217.FOR.RENT 6 9 5 2 3 8 9

3 CALL 7 1 US 4 TODAY 5 4 3

-Private bedrooms each with own bath -Free cable & high speed internet -9 Foot ceilings with crown molding 7 9 -Full size washer and dryer 5 8 -Clubhouse with 24 hour ﬁtness center -31 1 seat 3 theatre, free for residents -24 hour computer lab 3 4 study room & game room -Group 8 6 style pool -Resort -Fully 2 7 furnished or unfurnished

1 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U $ 570 911 W. Springfield, U $ 525-590 1004 W. Springfield, U $ 495

7 6 1 managed by 6 Professionally 3 9 5

2 Bedroom 111 S. Lincoln, U Near Lincoln & Green $ 740-795

4 Bedroom 1010 W. Springfield, U $ 1200

For Info: (217) 344-3008 911 W. Springfield, Urbana www.BaileyApartments.com Check us out on facebook!

the217.com July 14 - 20, 2011

Expelliarmus! Bitch!

APARTMENTS

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

POOL! Share a pool with only 3 other apts! Large 2 BDR in quiet residential neighborhood. Includes all appliances & garage space. Starting at $829/mo. 1725 Robert Dr., Champaign. Call Gene 217-722-8151 or visit www.joelwardhomes.com

GREAT VALUE

306-308-309 White, Champaign Fall 2011. Furnished, 1, 2, and 3 bedrooms. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking. Behind County Market. Starting at $265/person. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

807-809 W. ILLINOIS, URBANA

602 E. Stoughton, Champaign

Fall 2011. Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet. 2 Bedrooms starting at $375/person. Parking available. Must see! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

5th & HEALEY, CHAMPAIGN

Furnished

August 2011. 1 Bedrooms, corner of Lincoln & Illinois. Window A/C, Laundry, Rent $560/mo. Parking $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

August 2011. The BEST LOCATED EFFICIENCIES & 1 BEDROOMS on campus - period. Here's the best part: Efﬁciencies $410/mo to $450/ mo & 1 bedrooms $560/mo to $575/ mo. Parking available at $40/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 Visit www.barr-re.com for Virtual tours and ﬂoor plans.

ATRIUM APARTMENTS

Fall 2011. $375/month. Fully Furnished, 4 Bedroom/ 4 Bath. ALL UTILITIES included. Electric, Water, Cable/ Internet, Parking. NO CAPS ON POWER BILLS. ATRIUM APARTMENTS 1306 N. Lincoln Ave, Urbana 217-328-5122 www-atrium-apartments.com

420 APARTMENTS

3rd and Clark

August 2011. Beautiful 3 and 4 bedroom apartments. Plasma, wood ﬂoors, Gorgeous. From $750/month. Ted Pfeffer, 766-5108.

203 S. Sixth, Champaign

For Fall 2011. Large 3 and 4 bedrooms starting at $250/person. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, Champaign THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

KARMA

135 W. CLARK CHAMPAIGN Available August 2011. 1 bedrooms featuring IKEA furniture and cabinetry, hardwood ﬂoors, video security, off street parking and laundry on site. KARMA is designed to be a fusion of art and living in a contemporary urban environment. Rents from $560/month to $590/month. Call for a showing time. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

3 BEDROOM MODERN TOWNHOUSE

111 S. Busey. 1 block campus, CA, DW, Fall 2011, $1350. 217-3981998.

307 - 309 Healey

New Kitchens 2 or 3 Bedrooms $343/person Flat-screen TV Behind IHOP University Group universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

102 N. GREGORY, URBANA

August 2011. Close to Illini Union. 2 bedrooms $555/mo. Carpet, Laundry. Parking $50/mo. Call for showing time. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com For virtual tours & ﬂoor plans visit our web site

Retail

3 and 4 Bedrooms 609 S. Randolph, C.

$550

$525

401 W. Park, U.

$620

$590

403 W. Park, U.

$525

$505

407 W. Park, U.

$595

$570

609 S. Randolph, C.

$830**

305 W. Park, U.

$475

* = Furnished ** = Furnished, utilities and internet included

509 Stoughton, Champaign

Fall 2011 Near Grainger, 2 bedrooms, laundry, value pricing, parking. $375/person THE UNIVERSITY GROUP universitygroupapartments.com 352-3182

205 E. Stoughton

August 2011. 2, 3 & 4 Bedrooms. Furnished, Laundry and Parking. $357-399/Bedroom. Call or email for showing. 217-778-8375 jason@rectorapts.com rectorapts.com

Near Engineering Campus

The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 217-384-8001 www.weinercompanies.com info@weinercompanies.com

H H

HUGE!

$1560**

420 APARTMENTS Unfurnished

Safe Quiet Street One block from Lincoln and Green. One BR, LR, kitchen, study, bath, patio, parking. Available August. $525/mo. No smoking, no pets. westernrentals705@gmail.com

Hungry for something new? The Best of CU on the217.com features the best restaurants in the area.

APARTMENTS Unfurnished

430

Champaign

Old TOwn-dOwnTOwn 1 Bedroom Now Available

511 W. University......$410 811 W Hill..................$410 811 W Hill..................$460 605 W. University......$460 508 W Hill..................$460 206 W Washington....$475 205 S Lynn................$490 Faron properties 217-352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

430

508 S MATTIS, CHAMPAIGN

Aug 2011. Featuring a beautiful courtyard, this building offers 1 bedroom apts. at $485/mo and 2 bedroom apts. at $530/mo. On bus line with Central A/C, Carpet, Gas Heat, Laundry facilities, Patios or Balconies, Covered Parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 217-356-1873 www.barr-re.com

705 W. CHURCH, CHAMPAIGN

Aug 2011. Located near downtown. On bus line. Large apts. Balconies or patios. Two bedrooms from $495 to $510/mo. One bedrooms from $450/mo. Call for a showing time. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

LINKSVIEW, SAVOY

Aug 2011. Located on 9th hole of UI Golf Course. 2 bedroom 900 sq.ft. Each apt has own garage, storage unit, 2 balconies/patios, dishwashers, disposals, washer/dryer hookups. From $615/mo to $635/mo + parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

The First Place To Look

309 N. Busey – August 2011

Houses 913 S. Foley, C

H H

2 BR Fully furnished, W/D, ethernet & parking. Close to Beckman. $310/person. Call Chris anytime. 841-1996 or 352-3182

$1200

$390**

2 Bedrooms

Furnished

$415/month

Reduced

301 W. Park, U.

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished Studios

Now Leasing for the Fall 2011 1 Bedroom

Furnished

• Spacious apartments • Washer & dryer in most units • Dishwasher in most units • Air conditioning • Parking available at all locations • Apartments can be furnished for additional fee per month • All apartments are walking distance to campus

1 Bedroom:

1308 Grandview, C

3 Bedrooms: Townhouse

711 W. Elm, U 905 W. Springfield U

4 Bedrooms:

217-359-3527 or 217-841-1481 e-mail: info@joeallanproperties.com Office located at: 610 South Randolph, Champaign www.joeallanproperties.com

606 W. Elm, U 711 W. Elm, U 337-1565

hunsingerapts@sbcglobal.net

www.hunsingerapts.com

Amazing 1, 2, 3, & 4 Bedrooms!

WPGU 107.1 Smith Apartments

Now Renting For August 2011 217-384-1925

Save $1,000 on the rent on select 3 bedroom apartments for a limited time only!

2 Bedroom

Now Leasing! Take a virtual tour at www.bankierapts.com or call 217.328.3770 to set up an appointment

58 E. Armory, C.

$855

511 W. Church, C.

$655 - $715

1004 S. Locust, C.

$790 - $835

1010 W. Clark, U.

$830

1009 W. Clark

$740

Most apt. furnished, parking available, laundry available www.smithapartments-cu.com

The First To Look forPlace the best selection town FOR THEinBEST www.roysebrinkmeyer.com SELECTION IN TOWN No matter where you want to live or what your needs are, www.roysebrinkmeyer.com Royse & Brinkmeyer has the answer. Search through over 1000 apartments. Customize your search to include the number of bedrooms you need, amenities No matter where you your wantprice to range, live or what desired more.are, Royse & Brinkmeyer has yourand needs

the Search through over 1000 Log on answer. today and find the perfect apartment — home! apartments – customize your search to

100s of great apartments in excellent include the number of bedrooms you locations at super values for students

need, your price range, amenities desired find the

and more. Log onlocations today and Budget Minded — 6 great offering 1-2 bedroom units – with perfect apartment home! appliances, air-conditioning and off-street parking.

20 GREAT LOCATIONS $450–$550

SPARKLING APARTMENTS Extra Value — 1, 2 & 3CLEAN bedrooms featuring courtyards, carports, hardwood floors, and on-site laundry. $500–$810 Budget Minded – 6 great locations offering Stonegate Village —units 1–2 bedroom 1-2 bedroom with appliances, airunits, Some w/lofts, offer spacious floor plans. Swimming conditioning and off-street parking. pool, on-site laundry & garages. $350 - $465 $565–$815

ExtraLocations Value — – 1–2 1, 2, & 3 bedrooms 2 Luxury bedrooms, well appointed with allfeaturing the extras—including fireplaces, balconieshardwood and garages. courtyards, carports, $715–$865 floors, and on-site laundry. Why settle for just any apartment, $480 - $725 when you can have a great apartment? Check us out — we think you’ll like what you see. – 1-2 bedroom units, Newly Remodeled Some w/lofts, offer spacious floor plans. Call us today—217–352–1129 Swimming pool,helpful on-site laundry Appointments — walk-ins welcome & garages. $490 - $740 2 Luxury Locations – 1-2 bedrooms, well buzz 13 appointed with all the extras – including fireplaces, balconies and garages. $665 - $815

DOIN’ IT WELL

by Jo SangEr and Ross Wantland

• SEX WITH THE EX

A XXX EXPERIENCE OR ONE TO BE X-ED OUT?

an partners move from a dating relationship to a purely sexual one without difficulties? It may depend on the individual as well as the length and depth of the relationship. Plenty of us can recall a time when we hooked up with someone after we were no longer “officially” dating them. Maybe we wanted to hold onto the relationship. Maybe “sex was great, but we weren’t good together.” Or maybe our ex just got exponentially hotter when they became “off limits.” Folks who have done this say sex with the ex can be charged with energy and emotion. Some insist it is “definitely the best sex I’ve ever had,” while others regret how it complicated matters and left them feeling hurt. Trying to decide if it’s right for you? Here are some questions that could be helpful to consider... the key is to answer honestly. What needs are you looking to fulfill with ex sex? Is it purely physical? Do you want sex without the romantic or emotional attachment? Will you be able to do this? Be sure to let your ex know what your expectations are, and find out theirs as well. If you state your needs openly and directly, and they continue to have sex with you, at least you can say you’ve been

honest. Or are you visiting your ex because you want to stay emotionally attached or connected to them? Are you secretly hoping it will rekindle the flame? It can be hard to separate sex from emotions, especially when you have a history together. What are the pros and cons? If you’re both on the same page, it could be fun! You probably know what turns each other on, and the idea of “just sex” can be an added kink factor. It can also be “easy” — you are familiar with each other, and you provide each other with an available sexual partner. But if one of you is looking for more emotional attachment, it could turn messy as old emotions resurface. Sometimes, the person seeking the NSA sex may end up feeling bad if the other person wants more. If you think it’s possible you’ll end up feeling guilty or “used,” move on. If you are looking to fulfill emotional needs, ask yourself if your ex is the best person to provide a sense of intimacy, connection and closeness. Weigh this against the reasons you broke up. While it’s natural to gravitate to those you care about, remember that if you are feeling vulnerable, your ex may not be able to give you the emotional support you need. Often, we deny our emotional needs or do not recognize what they

APARTMENTS

430 SUBLETS

Unfurnished

430 APARTMENTS

1418 LINCOLNSHIRE CHAMPAIGN

Unfurnished

1901 KAREN CT, CHAMPAIGN

Avail Aug 2011. Close to St. Matthews. 2 bedrooms starting at $450/ mo to $550/mo, Large living/dining area, gas heat, central a/c, laundry in building, parking avail. No pets allowed. Call for a showing time.

Aug 2011. 1 & 2 bedroom apts in SW Champaign near Windsor Rd & Mattis Ave. 1 bedroom from $505/ mo. 2 bedrooms $540/mo. Carpet, central a/c, dishwashers, disposals, laundry in building, gas heat. Call for showing times.

BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

PERFECT LOCATION

I BR on 2nd floor of house at 402 E. High, Urbana. 1 mile from campus, 1 block from 2 major bus routes, 1/2 block from Lincoln Square. Hardwood floors, A/C, parking.

Available anytime. $520 mo. Call 217-352-4918

Champaign Old TOwn-dOwnTOwn

2 Bedrooms now available 800 W. Church...........$510 507 W. White.............$570 406 W. Washington...$580 404 S. Prarie.............$620 Faron properties, 217-352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

SOUTHWEST PLACE APTS, CHAMPAIGN

August 2011. Located in SW Champaign near Windsor & Mattis. 2 bedroom fourplexes, and 1 bedroom apts. Carpet, gas heat, central a/c. Some units have washer/dryer hook-ups, or laundry in bldg, dishwashers, disposals, patio/ balconies, parking. 1 bedrooms from $500/mo. 2 bedrooms from $620/mo. Call for showing times.

510

411 West Green, Champaign First time offered. Excellent 5 or 6 bedroom, 2 bath furnished home. Ted 766-5108

Hormones are powerful! Are you totally swept up in the moment? Have you thought through to the next morning or the next time you see each other? How will you feel afterwards? Will this cause either of you pain or interfere with “getting over” each other and moving on? What if your ex tries to re-ignite the relationship after sex? What if sex makes you feel like you want to do this? How would you feel if they started dating someone else or if you saw them out flirting with someone? Considering all of these questions can help you take care of yourself emotionally. If you get turned on thinking of your ex, but your mind is saying, “don’t go there,” trust your gut; sex with your ex may not be the wisest choice. For those times when sex sounds good and it seems like the ex is the only option ... remember that your own hands or that new toy can do the trick, too. You can be your own best lover! Finally, keep in mind that the world is big and there are plenty of hotties just waiting for you to find them! Whether it’s sizzling sex, emotional inti-

602 Alabama, Champaign 2 bedrooms $580/mo Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

8 7

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

buzz

2 4

Skill:

Sudoku 2 6 5

ROOMS

CAMPUS HOUSE 4 3

GRADUATE STUDENT Two blocks to campus, Urbana. Large furnished rooms available August 1 in beautiful Victorian house. Family-style, co-ed living with many amenities. 12 month lease. $515 per month, including utilities. Contact 630-759-5932 or http://home.comcast.net/~kjgp/

8 1

SKILL:

8 9

530

On busline. Large furnished rooms. Kitchen, living room, basement with free parking. $260/month. Large furnished loft, two rooms. $260/month. 217-356-0345.

830

I Nitesh Shashikanth, a resident of 1009 W. Clark St., Apt #101, Urbana, IL 61801 will be hereby known as Nitesh (ﬁrst name), Shashikanth (last name).

Share deluxe furnished 3 and 4 BR apartments at 3rd and Clark. Nicest on campus from $250/mo. plus utilities. Ted-766-5108.

ROOMS - $325 217-367-6626

Available Now and Fall

» Pay attention to both your physical and emotional needs. Sex with the ex may or may not meet those needs. » Don’t fool yourself! Even if your ex is having sex with you, it does not necessarily mean they care about you or want to get back together. » Most people are vulnerable after a breakup. It can be easy to be hurt further by someone who has moved on emotionally but stays with you sexually. » Breaking up usually means that both parties see other people. Don’t assume that your ex is only sleeping with you. Even if you didn’t use protection before the breakup, it’s a good idea to do so now as the risk of getting an STD is higher.

1320 Alms, Champaign. 3 bedroom, basement, 1 car garage, all major appliances, w/d, hardwood ﬂoors, furnished if needed, $850, Chris 684-2226, crpayne30@hotmail.com

dailyillini.com

Part A

Very Attractive, Furnished 3 or 4 BR 1 block from Lincoln & Green, A/C, Fireplace, Living, Dining, Kitchen, W/D, includes parking. Available August. No Smoking. No Pets. $1350 (3 br) 1500 (4 br) westernrentals705@gmail.com

3 CONDOS/DUPLEXES 7 520

1 2

Group House 6 - 10 Bedrooms $1850 367-6626

EX-SEX 411

510 ROOMMATE WANTED 550 MISCELLANEOUS

712 W. California

29. Jul 2010

510 HOUSES FOR RENT

HOUSE FOR RENT Available Aug 2011

macy or both that you seek, you may want to channel your energy into adventures with new people. Above all, be honest with yourself, and be honest with your (ex) partner.

Other considerations:

440 HOUSES FOR RENT

605 S. Fifth Subleasing room for 2011-2012. Furnished apartment with balcony next to green street. Utilities included. $500/month. 315-767-6875 achintyaashok92@gmail.com

HOUSES FOR RENT

are. Remember, the best sex happens when we can be honest with ourselves and our partners.

7 3 9 5

4 9

7 6

1 3

Enter the numbers 1-9 in the blank spaces so that each row, column and 3x3 square contains only one of each number. There is only one solution. (solution in Classifieds and online at www.dailyillini.com).

6 7

2 5

4 1

3 8

the217.com July 14 - 20, 2011

Orchideous! Bitch!

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES

March 21-April 19

In the coming days you have permission from the universe to dwell less on what needs to be resisted, protested, flushed out, and overcome. Instead you have license to concentrate on what deserves to be fostered, encouraged, bolstered, and invited in. Sound like fun? It will be if you can do it, but it may not be as easy to accomplish as it sounds. There are many influences around you that are tempting you to draw your energy from knee-jerk oppositionalism and cynical naysaying. So in order to take full advantage of what life is offering you, you will have to figure out how to rebel in a spirit of joy and celebration.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

GEMINI

May 21-June 20

CANCER

June 21-July 22

“Dreams are today’s answers to tomorrow’s questions,” said the seer Edgar Cayce. That’s your thought for the week, Taurus. Not just in dreams, but in your waking life as well, you will be experiencing insights, hearing stories, and getting messages that provide useful information for the crucial questions you have not yet framed, let alone posed. I hope that by telling you this, I will expedite your work on formulating those pertinent questions.

“The most important thing in acting is honesty,” said actor George Burns. “If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” The same thing is true about life itself. The more you dispense the truth the more successful you’ll be. Being a fount of authenticity might feel like a performance at first, but it’ll eventually get easier.

The great-grandson of a slave, Cancerian Thurgood Marshall (1908-1993) was America’s first AfricanAmerican Supreme Court Justice. According to Thurgood, a play about his life that appeared on HBO, his unruly behavior as a school kid played a role in launching him toward his vocation. As punishment for his bad behavior, his teacher exiled him to a storage room where he was instructed to study the U.S. Constitution -- a document he would later be called on to interpret during his service on the high court. I foresee a version of this scenario playing out in your immediate future, Cancerian. Mischief could lead to opportunity. Blessings might evolve out of shenanigans. Bending the rules may bring rewards.

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

Do you mind if I call you “The Original Liontamer”? I know it sounds a bit extravagant, maybe even pretentious, but it really fits you right now. More than any other sign of the zodiac, you have the power to control the wild, ferocious forces of the unconscious. You’re the fluid flowmaster in charge of making the beastly energy behave itself; you’re the crafty coordinator of the splashy, flashy kundalini; you’re the dazzling wizard of the dizzy whirling whooshes. Here’s a tip to help you soothe the savage rhythms with maximum aplomb: Mix a dash of harmonious trickery in with your charismatic bravado.

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

You have maybe ten more days left to locate the healthiest possible gamble for the second half of 2011. I’m referring to a smart risk that will bring out the best in you, expand the hell out of your mind, and inspire you to shed at least 10 percent of your narcissism and 15 percent of your pessimism. Trust your gut as much as your brain, Virgo. It will be important to have them both fully engaged as you make your foray all the way out there to the edge of your understanding.

LIBRA

Sept. 23-Oct. 22

“He got a big ego, such a huge ego,” sings Beyonce in “Ego.” “It’s too big, it’s too wide / It’s too strong, it won’t fit / It’s too much, it’s too tough / He talk like this ‘cause he can back it up.” I would love to be able to address that same message to you in the coming days, Libra. I’m

July 14 – 20

serious. I’d love to admire and marvel at your big, strong ego. This is one of those rare times when the cosmic powers-that-be are giving you clearance to display your beautiful, glorious self in its full radiance. Extra bragging is most definitely allowed, especially if it’s done with humor and wit. A bit of preening, mugging, and swaggering is permissible as well.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

jone sin’

by Matt Jones

“Better Living Through Chemistry” -- a simple formula.

“Dear Rob Brezsny: Please, sir, if you could do me a cost-free favor and tell me something special about my upcoming future, I would be amazingly glad and would spread good will about you everywhere. My age is 34 and I am sharply eager to know in detail about my next five years at least -- any big good or bad predictions. Kindly be very specific, no cloudy generalizations. Fayyaz Umair Aziz, First-Degree Scorpio.” Dear Fayyaz: I’m happy to inform you that your future is not set in stone; you have the power to carve out the destiny you prefer. And it so happens that the next four weeks will be prime time for you Scorpios to formulate a clear master plan (or reformulate your existing one) and take a vow to carry it out with impeccability.

One of my readers sent me a tale. He said the teacher Rudolf Steiner “once had a devotee who complained that after years of meditating and studying sacred texts he had not yet had a spiritual experience. Steiner asked him if he’d noticed the face of the conductor on the train on which they were riding. The man said no. Steiner replied, ‘Then you just missed a spiritual experience.’” This is a good tip for you to keep in mind in the coming weeks. You can dramatically expedite and intensify your education about spiritual matters by noticing the beauty and holiness in the most mundane things.

I’ve got two bits of information for you late bloomers out there; two inspirational messages to quell your worry about how long everything seems to be taking to unfold for you. First: While some oak trees begin growing acorns after two decades, many don’t produce a single acorn until they’re 40 or even 50 years old. Your second message is from poet Robert Bly: “I know a lot of men who are healthier at age 50 than they’ve ever been before, because a lot of their fear is gone.” Keep the faith, Capricorn -- and continue your persistent efforts.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

Russia has more psychic healers than medical doctors. Research done by WHO says so. While licensed physicians number around 640,000, there are 800,000 people who use occult means to perform their cures. Personally, I prefer a more balanced ratio. I feel most comfortable when there are equal amounts of officially sanctioned practitioners and supernaturally inspired mavericks. I want as many unorthodox rebels who mess with the proven formulas as serious professionals who are highly skilled at playing by the rules. That helps keep both sides honest and allows me to avoid being led astray by the excesses and distortions of each. I recommend a similar approach for you.

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20

“The most frequently leveled criticism of Jimmy Fallon is that he laughs too much.” So begins a New York magazine profile of the late-night talk show host. “He laughs before jokes, after jokes, during jokes.” He is “TV’s most inveterate cracker-upper.” Cynics point to this as proof that he’s suffering from a profound character defect. But there is another possibility, says New York: “Fallon laughs so much because he’s just having a really good time.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re primed to have a Fallon-like week -- a period when the fun is so liberating and the play is so cathartic and the good times are so abundant that you’ll be in a chronic state of amusement. In response, people addicted to their gloom and doom might try to shame you. I say: Don’t you dare let them inhibit your rightful relief and release.

Stumped? Find the solutions in the Classifieds pages.

Across

1 Stirs (up) 6 The Emerald Isle 10 Far from appetizing 14 Go with the flow 15 “___: First Class” 16 Matty or Felipe of baseball 17 Result of The Hulk’s first press conference? 19 Darkness 20 Toilet paper layer 21 Two-___ (some bathing suits) 23 Wanna-___ (poseurs) 24 Half of zwei 25 Font close to Verdana 27 Where a journalist’s stories get turned in 31 Iditarod finish line 32 Analgesic target 33 Rather than 37 Greek letters that look like P’s 38 Shoes near the Reeboks and Nikes 39 Ceremonial act 40 Come out on top 42 Yours and mine, in the sticks 43 “I screwed up” 44 Jon running for president 47 Chinese fondue 49 Indie rock band ___ Riot 50 Tool paired with a bucket 51 Huffington behind the

Huffington Post 53 ___-tai (cocktail) 56 Working away 58 “Let’s see who can prepare for their colonoscopy first,” et al.? 60 Jupiter’s Greek counterpart 61 Scott Baio co-star Moran 62 “Moon Over ___” (original theme song for “The Drew Carey Show”) 63 Muppet who speaks in the third person 64 Stunned state 65 French section of the Alps

Down

1 “Rent” star Anthony 2 Adam Lambert was on it 3 Word before Gaga or Antebellum 4 Prefix for dermis 5 “I’m with ___” (T-shirt phrase) 6 Over the top 7 Candy-colored computer 8 Stopwatch button 9 Contest participants 10 “___ the lizard king” (Jim Morrison) 11 Nightspot where you can’t be too big or too small? 12 Asian peninsula 13 Big laughs 18 “I got dibs!” 22 Jimmy Choo specialty

24 Viewing range 26 Brash contestant on “The Apprentice” 27 Sales rep’s handout 28 Number learned on “Dora the Explorer” 29 Drug that’s only smoked in pictures? 30 Jewish delicacy 34 Gloomy 35 ___ vez (again, in Spanish) 36 Actress Sherilyn of “Twin Peaks” 38 Soaked up 41 Early baseball Hall-of-Famer ___ Rixey 45 Word said a lot by Mork 46 Vagabonds 47 Baltic Avenue building 48 Headwear for Miss America 50 Activity on a placemat 52 Tombstone locale: abbr. 53 Game show producer Griffin 54 Sphere start 55 Words before “old chap” 57 1800s Chinese general now found on menus 59 Lamb lament

buzz

July 14 - 20, 2011

the217.com

AND ANOTHER THING ...

by MICHAEL COULTER

HIGH SCHOOL HIJINKS ARE SCHOOL PRANKS A THING OF THE PAST? mass flushing, and boom, we were out of school because the bathrooms didn’t work anymore. Actually, they got sort of pissed about this particular episode, but there were a lot of people involved, and I think it ended with some sort of token school-wide punishment. See that’s the thing — we eventually went too far and probably cost the school a certain amount of money to fix the problem. A kid pulled a little school trick of his own recently in a small, rural Indiana town, and it didn’t work out as he’d hoped at all. Tyell Morton put a blow-up sex doll in a bathroom stall as a senior prank, and it quickly turned to crap for him. They called the bomb squad, and he now faces up to eight years in prison and a possible felony record. We taped Penthouse centerfolds It seems ridiculous, but I can see how it happened. A janitor saw someone to the pull-down maps in History from the school and reported it. class. The most difficult part of this running They reviewed the security tapes and saw was waiting for the teacher to pull someone with a hooded sweatshirt and gloves carry in a package and then five down the map and find a big pair of minutes later run from the school without boobies instead of a map of Europe. the package. Shortly after, a perfect storm of misunderstanding and overreaction landed right in this kid’s lap. The bomb Fine, none of the school administrators encour- squad was called — they found the doll, and the aged us to pull little tricks around the school, but kid was eventually charged with criminal mischief, on the other hand, they never seemed all that among other things. pissed off when we did. We taped Penthouse cenFirst of all, I see the administrators’ point. Things terfolds to the pull-down maps in History class. are weird these days, and you can’t be too careThe most difficult part of this was waiting for the ful. Second of all, the kid should have been more teacher to pull down the map and find a big pair of clever about the trick. A sex doll isn’t all that funny boobies instead of a map of Europe. If I remember by itself, especially if you hide it in a bathroom correctly, we never actually saw the fruits of that stall. What are you gonna do — scare a janitor? labor, but we heard all about it from the class that That’s not that funny. Personally, I would have happened to be in there two weeks later when it blown it up and put it in the passenger seat of the actually happened. principal’s car. You can then tell everyone to check We found an extra letter to paint on the “Ag it out and take a few pictures. You embarrass your Day” sign that was placed in front of the school. tormentor, and it’s just sort of fun for everyone. It wasn’t a hate crime back then — it just made us Bomb squads and the police are generally never giggle. We’d sabotage teachers’ desks, we’d add all that fun for anyone. unwanted things to people’s lockers, and let’s just The District Attorney charged the kid, and now say very few students ever had a peaceful shower all sorts of people are involved on both sides of the issue. It’s all sort of ridiculous. Yeah, the kid after gym class. Once, we had an idea to get out of school early. screwed up, but give him freaking detention, not The thing was that this plan demanded perfect a jail sentence. He’s a high school kid, and they timing and a crapload of people. We could have can often be a pain in the ass. In fact, it’s sort of half-assed it, but we planned a little more and what they do. figured it all out. We felt that if every toilet in the The bad part for this kid is that he’ll probably school was flushed at exactly the same time, there have at least a tough couple of years because would be some sort of problem that would get us of his little prank. He may have a record, and if out of school for the afternoon. he looks for a job, they’ll find out, and it probWell, there were a lot of toilets to be flushed, ably won’t end well. Everybody likes a wiseass but we found enough people to man those. The except for when they have to work with one. problem was that there was no way to know ex- I’ve never heard anyone say, “He’s a prankster. actly when to do all the flushing. It turns out that I totally trust him.” Sure, if a twenty-year-old all we needed to do was wait until the bell rang does it, send him to the pokey, but high school and make the ringing the signal. So the bell, the rules should really apply to high school pranks. I did a ton of stupid crap in high school. In all fairness, I still do a ton of stupid crap, but for now, I’ll try to keep my focus on the formative years. Most of my transgressions were pretty good-natured and would be categorized as fun more than meanspirited. They usually involved the same four or five classmates, and surprisingly, we never really got in that much trouble. This is only because we never dimed each other out, and they could never really prove it was us most of the time. Back then, it was almost encouraged to be creative and prankstery. It’s not that way so much anymore.

buzz