Buzz Magazine: Aug. 25, 2011

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Champaign-Urbana’s community magazine FREE

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week of August 25, 2011

shock value  6    miso hungry  9    an horse interview  14

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buzz Back Soap

buzz

VOL9 NO32

AUGUST 25, 2011

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I

s the oil from your back keeping YOU from makeout sessions with the honeys? Use buzz’s Back Shampoo so your white shirts stop turning that awful shade of yellow!

IN THIS ISSUE 10

WENCHES APLENTY The Renaissance Fair doth approach

AIR GUITAR

11

But why?

PYGMALION CHATS

12

buzz interviews Gardens & Villa

WHO’S UP FOR SCROBBLE?

13

Last.fm explained

FRIGHT NIGHT 4 ON THE217.COM COMMUNITY Being surrounded by cornfields isn’t all THAT bad. There’s a lot to do in CU! Visit us online for info, stories and articles about community events, people and places around town!

FOOD & DRINK New seasons of your favorite shows are starting! Stacey’s column celebrates food and TV shows, so definitely check it out. It’ll be online this weekend.

MOVIES & TV Check out our new column, Comic Book Corner! Coming out EVERY WEDNESDAY! First up, a graphic memoir about prostitution called Paying For It by Chester Brown! Used with permission from kate*’s and the Creative Commons.

THINGS YOU MUST

MUSIC

DO IN ORDER TO LIVE A HEALTHY

LONG LIFE:

1. Like buzz on Facebook! We already like you! 2. Follow us on Twitter @buzzMagCU for updates on everything that we’re doing! 3. Check out youtube.com/buzzbasement or vimeo.com/buzzbasement for exclusive videos from Elsinore and more bands in the next couple weeks! Getting to class requires swift walking, quick routes and most importantly, good tunes. This fall, start your treks the right way with a Struttin’ Stuff playlist.

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buzz

CALENDAR

15

Your guide to this week’s events in CU

EDITOR’S NOTE DYLAN SUTCLIFF

Right before I went to bed last Saturday night, I discovered something out of nowhere, directly on the end of my nose. A zit, hanging off the end of my sniffer like a tiny mountain climber directly before the last oomph. Every time something touched my nose, it was like that little climber had crashed his pick into the summit, so of course, my hands were all over it. I don’t run into this problem too much anymore. I remember sophomore year of high school when I was extremely embarrassed by such acne. Somehow, I had conned a senior girl I was obsessed with into playing a game solely consisting of staring at each other deeply until one would break and laugh. Being obsessed, these painful nasal protrusions didn’t stop me from participating, even though I was fully aware that it was the closest thing on my body to her face at any given moment. It was both fantastic and terrifying. Even though I’m now slightly less awkward and an even smaller bit less mature, the dreaded zit on my nose has been rearing its ugly head less and less;, but when it suddenly springs up like it did on Saturday, I know that there’s nothing I can do but wait. I would say it sucks that it happened on the first week of class, but luckily, people have been assuming I spent too much time in the sun over the past few days, my nose spearheading the new red look. When someone comments about it being burnt, I usually reply, “Yeah, something like that, maybe.” I’m not exactly sure why I don’t want to come right out and tell everyone about my zit — I’m not embarrassed. It’s just kind of awkward, like I’m halfway likely to go too far by asking if they want to touch it. With my more than consistent Peter Pan complex, it would almost be in character for me to embrace the puss-filled atrocity at the tip of my nose, but even for me, that would be going too far. Although I don’t acknowledge it too much, there probably are some advantages to getting older. I probably won’t accept the rest until much later in life, but for now, I’m content with this minor accomplishment. My zit also inspired a Random Shit Box this week. Be sure to check it out on page 5. Be warned, though — it’s kind of gross.


the217.com   August 25 - 31, 2011

HEADS

UP!

GRAPE GRIPES!

YOGA

Cl a Au ss S gu ta st r ts 29

INSTITUTE OF CHAMPAIGN-URBANA outdoor weekend

“Some people say Iyengar yoga is the easiest [yoga style]. Some people say it is the hardest. But once you’ve done it, all of the other styles seem reckless.” - Shape Magazine

by Darcy Ross

TALK TO BUZZ

buzz staff

Amidst the waves of wild parties that you will inevitably be rockin’ this weekend, take a moment to achieve earthly serenity and get in touch with your inner (or outer) tree-hugging hippie. There are quite a few sweet opportunities in the CU area that may show you a side of this state’s natural beauty that you haven’t seen before, and for a price that can’t be beat: free! Friday: Starry Night There are some real treasures to be found in the Illinois night sky once you get out into those endless fields. At 8 p.m., let the ChampaignUrbana Astronomical Society give you a short presentation at the Middle Fork River Forest Preserve’s Activity Center (3433 County Rd 2700 E, Penfield), then lead you by car to a great viewing site within the preserve. These knowledgeable astronomy enthusiasts will show you stars and planets in what they insist are among the darkest skies in Champaign county. You won’t regret it ... unless you forget bug spray. Sunday: The Birds and the Bees Sunday morning (7:30 a.m. to 9 a.m.), get introduced to the art of birding at the Anita Purves Nature Center at 1505 N. Broadway Ave. in Urbana, to be guided on a scenic bird walk through Crystal Lake Park and Busey Woods. At 2 p.m., head on over to the U of I’s Pollinatarium at 606 W. Windsor Rd. in Urbana for a talk and demonstration on pollinators (like bees!) and how you can help them. With the current Colony Collapse Disorder ravaging beehives across the nation, it’s more important than ever to understand these creatures and their critical role in the health of our ecosystem. Also, it’s a Pollinatarium. Does it get cooler than that? Cover Design  Olivia La Faire Editor in Chief  Dylan Sutcliff Managing Editor Peggy Fioretti Art Director  Olivia La Faire Copy Chief  Drew Hatcher Photography Editor  Sean O’Connor Image Editor  Peggy Fioretti Photographers  Sean O’Connor Designers  Lucas Albrecht Music Editor  Adam Barnett Food & Drink Editor  Samantha Bakall Movies & tv Editor  Nick Martin Arts & entertainment Editor  Joe Lewis Community Editor  Amy Harwath CU Calendar  Mandy Blackburn Copy Editors Matt Entler Marketing/Distribution  Brandi Willis EDITORIAL ADVISER  Marissa Monson Publisher  Mary Cory On the Web  www.the217.com Email  buzz@readbuzz.com Write  512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 CALL  217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © Illini Media Company 2011

Nick Martin Movies & TV Editor

» Grapes’ Uncanny Textural Similarity to Eyeballs: I’ve never bit into an eyeball, but I bet it’s juicy. Juicy like a grape! I don’t want to confront the horrors of cannibalism while I’m eating fruit! Get it together, grapes!

Class Times

Dylan Sutcliff Editor in Chief

» Grape skins: Holy shit, they’re skinny! Have you ever gotten a grape skin caught between your teeth or in that little space between your gums and your teeth? It’s nearly impossible to get out. One time, I had a grape skin caught between my gums and teeth all day, and as a result, I was constantly picking at my teeth in class. Everyone hated me... Peggy Fioretti Managing Editor

2 for 1 special! Sign up for 12 week session (1 class/week) with a friend and pay for the price of 1 407 W. Springfield, Urbana 344-YOGA (9642) www.yoga-cu.com

Mon 6 - 7:30 Beginners Tues 8:30 - 10:00 Yoga for 50+ 7:30 - 9pm Beginners Wed 9:15 - 10:45am Yoga for women 3:45 - 5:15 Beginners 7 - 8:30pm Yoga for Men Thurs 7:30 - 9pm Beginners Sat 11:30 - 1pm Beginners

» Seeds: Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Sam Bakall Food & Drink Editor

» Grapes: I hate grapes. People always give me that WTF look because I don’t like them. Deal with it. I also despise grape products — raisins, juice, cough syrup, candy, etc. There’s just something weird about a crunchy, round, usually not sweet and occasionally seed-filled fruit. Blech. Emily Siner Online Editor

» Dining hall grapes: They’re either too wrinkly, too small and sour (yugh!) or oddly misshapen. Such a sad corruption of such a noble fruit. Adam Barnett Music Editor

» The stickies!: Grapes aren’t sticky, but when you peel them they’re sticky, and that sucks grapes. Have you ever had to shake hands with your girlfriend’s parents after a healthy snack of peeled grapes? I have, and that’s why I’m fat and single as opposed to just being single, if you catch my drift. Amy Harwath Community Editor

» Grapes + pups: Apparently, grapes are bad for/ poisonous to dogs. I think that’s only grapes with seeds, though, because my dog isn’t dead yet! buzz

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arts movie review

R

&

entertainment

Fright Night

by Andy Herren

SEE IT: Matinee

Used with permission from DreamWorks Pictures

I

’m a huge fan of Tom Holland’s horror-comedy Fright Night (1985). I still remember watching it as a kid (which was completely and totally inappropriate, mom and dad) and thinking to myself, “I want this story to happen to me!” You see, Fright Night tells the tale of a teenage boy who spies on his next-door neighbor, ultimately realizing that said neighbor is a bloodthirsty vampire. It’s Rear Window with fangs, set in the leafy suburbs of 1980s America, and it’s cheesy and gory and altogether awesome. I used to spy on my neighbors,

hoping that one of them was secretly a monster. It was all so thrilling. Oh, the joys of being young. We find ourselves in 2011, and Touchstone Pictures/Dreamworks have come out with a remake of Holland’s horror classic. Some of the story is the same (vampire moves in next door), yet much of it is different. In this update, we move to the barren suburban landscape of the outskirts of Las Vegas, Nevada as blood begins to spill. Charley Brewster (Anton Yelchin) lives with his mother (Toni Collette), is dating the prettiest girl in school

(Imogen Poots) and no longer has time for his nerdy former best friend, “Evil” Ed (Christopher Mintz-Plasse AKA McLovin from Superbad). Things seem to be going well for Charley; that is, until his new neighbor, Jerry (Colin Farrell), moves in. Jerry works long hours at night, is never seen in the daytime and, as Ed warns Charley, is actually a vampire. After Jerry sets his sights on the neighbors, Charley must summon the courage to keep himself and his loved ones out of Jerry’s bloodthirsty clutches. Aiding Charley is Criss Angel-esque magician Peter Vincent (David Tennant), a man who claims to be a vampire expert but is actually a drunk. Fright Night may be a remake, but it differs markedly from its predecessor. For starters, this update goes through the entire plot of the original in about 25 minutes, presenting a mostly new story arc for its second and third acts. There are still winks and nods to the original splattered throughout Fright Night, but the film stands alone as a compelling narrative. One of Fright Night’s major strengths is its cast. Farrell is fantastic as Jerry; he’s cool and suave one minute, delivering a witty line of dialogue the next, and finally snapping someone’s neck when they least expect it. His performance is unusual, yet it pays off by highlighting the unexpected. Also worth mentioning is David Tennant as Peter Vincent. In the original Fright Night, Peter Vincent was the host of a late night horror TV program, and in this version, the character gets a modern reimagining. Tennant is hilarious in nearly every aspect of his performance, providing many laughs and reminding audiences that Fright Night doesn’t take itself too seriously.

CU Sound off

As we find ourselves in a vampire-centered pop culture universe (here’s looking at you, Twilight and True Blood), Fright Night stands out as one of the snappiest, most clever pieces of entertainment to be presented to audiences. It’s not sophomoric like Twilight, and it’s not completely bonkers like True Blood. Fright Night delivers the scares, provides many laughs in the process and runs along on a smart script and stylish direction. My beefs with the film are few and far between, and they basically only come out of my love for the original. My favorite scene of the 1985 version of Fright Night involves Jerry seducing Charley’s girlfriend, Amy (Amanda Bearse), while in a dance club. Pulsating 80s music permeates throughout the scene as Jerry and Amy share a seductive dance together while she is under his spell. The scene is thrilling, sexy and a ton of fun. In this update, there is a club scene, yet it is far too brief and lacks the punch of the scene from the original. Also, Christopher Mintz-Plasse is great as Evil Ed, yet his character doesn’t get enough screen time. Ed is a pivotal and interesting character, and this new version seems to gloss over his relationship with Charley. Lastly, the 3D of Fright Night (yep, another horror movie shot in 3D) is forgettable and actually a bit distracting. I would have preferred seeing the film without the extra dimension. Overall, though, Fright Night is a bright spot in today’s vampire explosion. This remake honors the original while updating the story and keeping things interesting.

by Tolu Taiwo

CU students share what they’re not looking forward to in the upcoming semester.

A

s the residents of Urpaign return to their apartments, houses, and dorms for another school year, many of them have more to worry about than the physically grueling Syllabus Week. While our esteemed university doesn’t have a basilisk on the loose, the average student has plenty more to worry about than a super-long bar line or how your favorite band just totally sold out for a record deal (you’ve probably never heard of them, though). This week, buzz asked a few bright-eyed college kids what they were dreading the most during the upcoming semester. Sam Dzvonik

The Batman

“That remake of Footloose looks like it’s going to suck.”

4

buzz

John Groesbeck Sophomore in Geography

Sophomore in Advertising

“Bane. And laryngitis.”

“Running into el chupacabra again.”


the217.com   August 25 - 31, 2011

Just because I call you captain doesn’t mean I like you.

Random Zit Box: ZIT BALLISTICS

W

e all know that acne has an explosive side, and while zits will always be gross, there are definitely times when they can entertain. To be sure that our readers don’t overestimate their potential zit energy, we’ve created a guide to help you create more realistic goals in your pimple popping targets. ACROSS THE ROOM (INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC PIMPLES) Chest Back Forehead THE BATHROOM SINK (MID-RANGE PIMPLES) Cheek Arm Neck ON YOURSELF (SHORT-RANGE PIMPLES) Nose Ass Tit Dick

The buzz guide to acne

WORST CASE SCENARIO ACNE: Maybe you didn’t wash your back as well as you should have, maybe you went camping, or maybe you like zits! Regardless of how you get there, sometimes acne goes beyond the help of soap or Proactive. If this ever happens, you need to be sure to be acquainted with the proper terminology when you visit the dermatologist. Luckily, buzz has your guide to pimple hell. ZIT COLONIES: A zit colony is a community of three or more pimples within a 5-inch area. If you find a zit colony on your body, it may not be too late to get this turned around. Remember that pimples have manifest destiny-esque tendencies and are likely to spread, so you need to hit them quick. Start a regiment of hard washing, and possibly see a doctor. ZIT NATIONS: A zit nation is when three or more zit colonies decide to form a central government in an attempt at a more unified assault on your skin. Unfortunately, zit nations are not American. They’re socialist or sometimes even communist. By the time you reach a zit nation, it’s far too late to attempt a solo exhibition to reclaim your skin. Consult a doctor or possibly your local national guard for help.

wiN Death cab

ACNE ADDICT? buzz Magazine looks our for everyone, so if you like your red pustules then here are some tips on how to keep that grease flowing. » Be a teen » Stop using soap, start using grease! » Rub cats on your face or genitals » Shave without cream or sharpened razors » Play sports without showering » Get stressed about finishing the dictionary » Eat at Burger King » Work at Burger King » Visit Burger King GENERAL ACNE TERMINOLOGY Blackheads Whiteheads Grayheads Backne Mega Zits Tit Zits (Ladies Night) Clit Zits (Ladies Night) Dick Zits (Just for Men, see diagram) Sackne (Just for Men) Crackne (Butt Users Only) Kneene

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5


Week of Fri., August 26 - Thurs., September 1, 2011 The closest movies to UIUC campus

Another Earth (PG-13)

blood, guts, gore and horror cinema critical theory

Fri: (5:30), 7:30 PM Sat & Sun: (1:30), (3:30), (5:30) 7:30 Mon-Thu: 7:30 PM

Bridesmaids (R) $3 Late Night Show Fri & Sat: 10:00 PM Thu: 10:00 PM Student Discounts

buzz talks to New York Times critic Jason Zinoman about Shock Value by Nick Martin

Take the CUMTD Bus www.theCUart.com

126 W. Church St. Champaign

F

enjoy

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BARGAIN TWILIGHT D A I LY 4 : 0 0 - 6 : 0 0 P M * excludes Digital 3D & Fathom events

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GOD BLESS OZZY OSBOURNE MON. 8/29 7:30 PM RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS LIVE: I’M WITH YOU TUE. 8/30 & THUR. 9/1 8:00 PM SCARFACE SPECIAL EVENT WED. 8/31 7:30 PM S

COLOMBIANA (PG-13)

11:50, 2:05, 4:20, 7:00, 9:20 FRI/SAT LS 11:50 S OUR IDIOT BROTHER (R) 11:00, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50 FRI/SAT LS 12:00 DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK (R) 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20, 9:40 FRI/SAT LS 12:00 S ONE DAY (PG-13) 11:35, 2:00, 4:25, 6:50, 9:15 FRI/SAT LS 11:45 SPY KIDS: ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD IN 4D (PG) 12:10, 2:20, 4:30, 6:40, 8:50 FRI/SAT LS 11:00 3D CONAN THE BARBARIAN (R) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 11:05, 1:40, 4:15, 6:50, 9:25 FRI/SAT LS 12:00 CONAN THE BARBARIAN (R) 11:30, 2:10, 4:50, 7:25, 9:55 3D FRIGHT NIGHT (R) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 4:35, 9:45 FRIGHT NIGHT (R) 11:45, 2:15, 7:10 S 3D FINAL DESTINATION 5 (R) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET FRI-SUN 4:45, 9:05 MON/TUE 4:45 S FINAL DESTINATION 5 (R) FRI-SUN 12:25, 2:35, 6:55 FRI/SAT LS 11:30 MON/TUE 12:25, 2:35 S 30 MINUTES OR LESS (R) 12:50, 2:55, 5:05, 7:05, 9:10 FRI/SAT LS 11:15 S THE HELP (PG-13) 12:00, 3:10, 6:20, 9:30 RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES (PG-13) 11:20, 1:45, 4:10, 6:35, 9:00 FRI/SAT LS 11:25 SMURFS (PG) 11:15, 1:40, 4:05, 6:30, 8:55 FRI/SAT LS 11:20 COWBOYS & ALIENS (PG-13) 4:00, 6:45 CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE (PG-13) 11:15, 1:55, 4:40, 7:15, 10:00 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (PG-13) 1:20, 4:05, 6:50, 9:35

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2 (PG-13) 1:00, 9:25

6

buzz

ilm nerds rejoice! New York Times theater critic Jason Zinoman’s new book, Shock Value, is this year’s best book about movies. It’s strange, but horror flicks that used to be considered exploitative trash (e.g. Night of the Living Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Hallowz read buzDead, een etc.) are now canonical works of American Cinema! Heck, Texas Chainsaw is in the Museum of Modern Art! With Shock Value, Zinoman dissects what made these films so successful and so scary; by talking to hundreds of people involved in making these films, considering the inspirations and influences of the directors, and breaking away from traditional critical interpretation of these movies, Zinoman comes close to cracking the core of sheer, senseless cinema terror. This is only the first twenty minutes of our conversation; why not go read more on www.the217.com?! BUZZ THURSDAY » buzz: Can you tell my readers Shock Value’s AUGUST 25 over-arching argument? corp note...keep this same size always Jason Zinoman: During the fifties and early sixties, horror movies were lumped into the 1 X 5.417 fantasy genre. At the end of the sixties, horror 1/8th page saw a jarring shift. I don’t want to read too much into it, but there’s common traits these films share. They became more graphic and saw a shift toward realism, blurring the line between fantasy and reality. They were ambiguous in moral, unresolved in ending. Instead of focusing on the supernatural, these movies are about the prom queen, going to the beach, babysitting — things that were very familiar and mundane in people’s lives. As the auteur theory took hold in the film world, the directors really saw themselves as auteurs. The focus shifted from stars like Boris Karloff and Vincent Price, and onto the directors themselves. Perhaps an implicit argument in my book is that the auteur theory alone doesn’t explain what makes these movies good. One of the things that made The Exorcist so great were the arguments between William Friedkin (director) and William Peter Blatty (the novel’s author). In Alien, Dan O’Bannon (screenwriter) is a tremendous creative force in these movies. Even Halloween, which is traditionally thought of as entirely driven by John Carpenter, was the articulation of ideas that were evolving over many years, and Carpenter was great at paying homage to other people. The clash of points of view led to compromises that ended up making the movies better than if there was only one auteurist vision.

» buzz: I’ve read that a lot of critics/scholars think that these movies are a response to Vietnam, but I got the feeling you disagree. Can you elaborate? JZ: Well, Vietnam was an influence on these directors’ lives. Part of the impetus for Wes Craven’s Last House On The Left was that Craven thought America wasn’t being shown the real violence in Vietnam; he thought journalism was covering it up, and he wanted to be explicit about it. People who have defended horror over the last couple decades — the ones who made the case that these movies aren’t trash, that they’re worth paying attention to and that they’re works of art ­— frequently invoke Vietnam to understand these films. A documentary called The American Nightmare looked at these movies through only that prism — their argument says that these movies are rooted in political and social anxieties of the day. Now, I think there’s a lot of truth to that argument; however, I think the success of these movies is rooted in something more universal or timeless than the politics of the day. If you talk to these guys, you’ll realize they’re not very politically active people. George Romero is the perfect example. That movie was widely interpreted as a statement about civil rights — that it came from the wake of political assassinations. The truth is, though, Romero cast his black protagonist randomly; it was a pure accident. » buzz: Wasn’t Night of the Living Dead already finished before MLK was assassinated? JZ: Exactly. Albeit, the fact that Living Dead was

Used with permission from Jason Zinoman

interpreted the way it was at its release is part of the reason the film became so influential. But I wanted to focus on primary sources from the period and talk to people who knew these directors before they got famous. I wanted to find out what their original motivation was. In some ways, these people who said these movies are about Vietnam or Watergate or whatever are doing these movies a disservice. They’re better than that! If we’re still watching Night of the Living Dead four decades later, it can’t only be about Vietnam. People today aren’t obsessed with Vietnam as they once were, yet a TV show like The Walking Dead is a huge hit. Time has


the217.com

Fog makes me feel.

proven that these movies are more potent than merely a political statement. » buzz: How did you get access to all the people in the book? JZ: That was probably the hardest part of the book — some of these people took years to just get into the room with me. I worked on the book for four years in tandem with my day job. I guess there were two types of challenges. First, the horror directors: most of the horror people are nice, accessible guys who have done a lot of interviews. The book started as a Vanity Fair piece about The Masters of Horror dinner. That was my introduction to the whole world: it was great to have a chance to get these directors in the room, talk to them and get a lay of that land for context. Then there were the big Hollywood guys. That was much harder. Getting in touch with William Friedkin is my biggest accomplishment of the book; it took four years. Some people I never got a chance to talk to. Roman Polanski [Rosemary’s Baby, Chinatown], for example, was in jail for part of the time I was writing. But I actually got in contact with him before he got put in jail. I told him I was writing a book on horror films, and he responded that he’s not a horror director, so he didn’t want to talk to me. That taught me that the guys from this period aren’t necessarily proud to be known as great horror directors. The other thing is that a lot of these guys have done tons of interviews, telling the same stories

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over and over again, and now the stories have a life of their own. The challenge was getting past the stories and finding out what really happened. Generally, with a guy like Brian DePalma [Carrie, Scarface], I tried to talk to the people around him — his ex-wife, friends before he was famous, people he went to college with — and only after having this picture did I go talk to DePalma directly. What’s different about my book compared to most other books about horror is that while there’s certainly theories and interpretations, it’s firmly rooted in reporting. That’s what I wanted. My proudest accomplishments are reporting accomplishments. Like getting DePalma to say things about his life and work that haven’t already been in a million interviews. » buzz: In your book, Eli Roth (Hostel, Cabin Fever) says, “The way that kids first learned about horror movies in the seventies and eighties was usually from unreliable sources ... hearing about these movies secondhand gave them the power of legend before they became popular.” Did you have any experiences where you heard about horror movies before you saw them? JZ: In third or fourth grade, my friends would have long conversations about the Friday the 13th movies, even though none of us had ever seen them. We told stories trickled down from older brothers about various graphic details and murder scenes. The movie we were describing probably barely resembled Friday’s actual plot

(and really, there wasn’t much plot to begin with). But there was something great about recounting the plots of horror movies. It was like telling ghost stories around a campfire. I like contemporary horror movies, but today’s horror market makes it so hard to make a movie scary. The script will get leaked on the internet, the trailer gives too much away, the press and PR talk it up too much. Not to mention, kids are technosavvy: they can read reliable summaries or even download the whole movie! In the eighties, there was no internet or cable. You heard stories and let your imagination fill in all the details. » buzz: I remember talking about Friday the 13th when I was a kid, too, but I’d try to figure out plots from the VHS covers at the rental store. I can’t remember which Friday the 13th it was, but the one where a worm is coming out of Jason’s mask really creeped me out. I still remember it. JZ: Exactly! Going to the video store and knowing a movie only for its cover. I remember a movie called April Fool’s Day. There was a girl at a party, holding a knife behind her back, and her hair was braided into a ponytail noose. I’ve never seen it, and I’m probably never going to see it. There’s no way the movie could be better than that poster. » buzz: It seems like pregnancy and the female body is a big source of terror in the movies you mention (Rosemary’s Baby; The Exorcist; Carrie;

H.M.D. Academy self-efficacy (self′-e′·fi·kə·sē) n. a person’s belief about their ability to accomplish a task or deal with life’s challenges

AUGUST 25 - 31, 2011

Alien). You wrote, “Overwhelming terror may be the closest feeling we get to being born.” Can you elaborate? JZ: I think the most important sentence ever written about horror was by H.P. Lovecraft: “The oldest emotion of mankind is fear and the strongest kind of fear is the fear of the unknown.” If that’s true--that the unknown is scarier than heights, or rats, etc.--then what exactly is “the unknown”? I think something that makes Alien so scary is the stomach explosion scene. No man can ever fathom the horror of childbirth. We can imagine it, but we’ll experience it. It’s an unknown exclusive to men--once a woman has a baby, the whole process is a lot less mysterious. My wife had a kid a few years ago, which in a weird way, helped me write the book. If you look at a one year old, the first game they play is peek-a-boo--we love to be scared! It must be hardwired into our brains. When you’re born, you enter a world you know nothing about. Things we take for granted--how gravity works, what faces look like, knowing that touching something won’t make it fall apart--all those things are new. If you believe Lovecraft, then for an infant, everything is unknown. There’s an analogy to be made between that infantile unknowing and what horror directors are trying to do: they want to disorient you so much that everything you understand is wrong; what you see is not real. There’s a whole other world to which we can never have access.

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7


Food

&

Drink

Shuck it Urbana celebrates its 36th Annual Sweetcorn Festival by Stacey Klouda

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t’s that time again! Time to celebrate the golden, buttery deliciousness that every true Illini craves — SWEET CORN! The 36th Annual Sweetcorn Festival will be held in downtown Urbana this Friday (5-11 p.m.) and Saturday (11 a.m.-11 p.m.). With all the moving out, moving in, book-buying, classroom-finding, Target-splurging and all-day/ night raging that comes with syllabus week, why not sample some of the University’s unofficial mascot in all its homegrown glory. It’s the perfect place to bond with new roommates or celebrate with old ones, to try something new from one of the Urbana’s fine eateries or simply chow down on the sweet and classic corn-onthe-cob. Trust me — no matter how many times you’ve had corn in your life, taking a bite of fresh, local sweet corn is always like the first time — a new and profound experience for any food-aholic! Director of events for the Urbana Business Association, Katie Hansen, was kind enough to give our buzz followers a peek here into the corny history of the fest, its impact on the local community and some surprises to look forward to during this year’s festivities. This downtown festival was started as a small event by a local business, Busey Bank. It served as a thank you to customers and the community at large. The festival has grown tremendously in the past 36 years due in large part to the addition of high quality regional music, time-tested traditions — such as sweet corn cooked in a steam engine that has been with the festival for the past 35 years — and continuous support of our local community.

The festival fills up the entire downtown area from Race through Vine. Every year, the Sweetcorn Festival grows as more people get involved and bring new and exciting elements to the streets of Urbana. For example, this year, festival-goers will see the Garcia’s hot air balloon by the Miller Main Stage, unicyclers, jugglers, a professional wrestling show in the Busey Bank parking lot on Friday night and an entire area of kids’ play activities by the One Community Together stage (paper airplanemaking, didgeridoo-making, meet the Eastern Box Turtle). Many of the businesses are participating right on the street in front of their stores. The Sweetcorn Festival has been able to bring thousands and thousands of people to our downtown area. The City of Urbana has recognized that the downtown district is an important part of economic development in the City, and the festival is a great way to showcase these local businesses. As students who drive down I-57 can attest, central Illinois has miles and miles of cornfields. Corn is just ingrained into our community (no pun intended). Feed corn helps the animals at the local farms; corn provides fuel for transportation; and sweetcorn is a delicious food source available at the local farmers market and grocery stores. So many aspects of our lives are related to corn and corn production. As sweet corn is a warm-season vegetable, it only makes sense that the Sweetcorn Festival rings in the end of the sweet corn harvest season.

Used with permission from the Creative Commons

It’s also a great time to celebrate the end of summer and beginning of a new school year. The corn is being produced in Warrensburg, Ill., only about an hour drive from Urbana. It’s grown by Ted Maddox of Maddox Farms. The UBA took a trip with Randy Cain of County Market/Save-aLot to visit the farm, taste the corn and snap some photos. The Illinois sweet corn is being picked

Thursday before the event and should be shucked, cooked and buttered for Friday at 5 p.m.! The festival features much more than corn, too, from live local bands to street performances to great deals on Urbana businesses and more, so check out its sweet event site at urbanabusiness. com/events/sweetcorn for more information. Happy shucking!

WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR SWEET CORN

N

ot a fan of just plain ol’ corn on the cob? Do you need a little spice in your life? buzz has a few fun suggestions to make your corn even more exciting. For a little more oomph than just plain butter: Make compound butters! They’re super simple and are great on more than just corn! Simply take a stick of butter 8

buzz

(more or less depending on how many servings), and mix in whatever flavorings you like. Great flavors that pair well with corn are herbs such as thyme, rosemary, savory, dill and parsley, garlic, onion and, for a bigger kick, Tabasco sauce. The sweeter the better? Sprinkle a little cinnamon sugar or make a sweet compound but-

ter with maple syrup to take it up a notch. Desire something a little ethnic? Make elotes, a Mexican grilled corn on the cob. Grill the cobs until hot. Spread a layer of mayonnaise on the cob, and then cover with Cotija cheese (or another cheese of your choice) and a spritz of lime. Add a dash of cayenne for some spice. Too lazy to try, but still don’t want to eat

plain? Wrap it in bacon. Peel the cornhusks back, but don’t remove them. Clean the silks off the cob, and soak the corn in water for 30 minutes to prevent the husks from charring. Then, wrap the entire cob in bacon strips. Rewrap the cob in the husk, and place on the grill 15 – 20 minutes, or until the bacon is cooked and the corn is tender. (adapted from Paula Deen)


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My uterus fell off my body.

AT THE STORE: MISO

AUGUST 25 - 31, 2011

A traditional Asian bean paste packs a punch

by Jasmine Lee

A

h, fermented soybean paste. That slightly terrifying packaged paste, innocuously sitting next to the tofu and greens in the supermarket’s chilled vegetable section. Miso originated in China, when Buddhist monks in sixth century AD discovered that soybeans could be ground into a paste. It was introduced into Japan a century later and has recently made its presence known worldwide. Miso is a thick, salty, nut butter-like paste which is used as a flavoring seasoning for everything from sauces and pickling to ramen noodles. Length of fermentation, temperature, ingredients and even the vessel in which miso is made can vary the taste and appearance of the miso, resulting in different types of miso: red akamiso, white shiromiso and dark brown awasemiso. Red and white miso are the most common available in the west. Although miso is quite high in sodium, it is also high in protein and a good offering of vitamin B and zinc. Miso Soup » 3 cups dashi soup stock* » 1 block tofu, cubed » 3-4 tbsp white miso paste (miso varies in saltiness, so adjust the amount accordingly) » 1/4 cup chopped green onion

» 2 tsp soy sauce, plus more for serving » 1 clove garlic, minced » 1 tsp sesame oil » Salt » 2/3 lb flank steak » 2 tsp grapeseed or vegetable oil » Cooked short grain or jasmine rice

Used with permission from adactio and the Creative Commons

Put dashi soup stock in a pan and bring to a boil. Add cubed tofu to the boiling soup. Bring heat down and simmer the tofu for a few minutes on low heat. Scoop out some soup stock from the pan into a separate bowl and, using the back of a spoon, dissolve miso into it. Gradually return the miso-stock mixture to the soup and stir gently until completely dissolved. The soup should look cloudy. Turn off the heat and garnish with chopped green onion. Yields 4 servings.

*Dashi is a Japanese soup stock that’s made by boiling dried seawood and dried anchovies. If you don’t have dashi stock on hand, water is an okay substitute. Rice Bowl with Miso-Marinated Flank Steak Adapted from Serious Eats (seriouseats.com) » 1 tbsp white miso » 1 tbsp mirin » 1 tsp rice wine vinegar

Combine miso, 1 tablespoon mirin, rice wine vinegar, 2 teaspoons soy sauce, minced garlic, sesame oil and a pinch of salt in a small bowl. Coat both sides of the steak in this marinade. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate for 2-6 hours. Remove from the refrigerator 30 minutes before cooking. Heat a cast iron pan over medium-high heat for 5 minutes. Pour the remaining 2 teaspoons of oil into the pan and spread evenly. Place the steak in the pan and cook for 5-6 minutes, then flip and cook for 5 minutes longer for medium rare. Remove steak to a plate and tent loosely with foil. Let rest for 5 minutes. Transfer the steak to a cutting board and cut into 1/2-inch thick slices against the grain. Fill two bowls with rice and layer steak and choice of vegetables on top. Serves 2.

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9


they didn’t eat sweet corn in the 1500s The Illinois Renaissance Festival comes to Danville by Emily Siner

I

f you prefer kings to corn, fire-eaters to farmers and 16th century England to 21st century central Illinois, leave the crowds in Urbana this weekend and head to Danville for the seventh annual Illinois Renaissance Festival. Travel time: 35 minutes in a car, 60 minutes on a galloping horse. In Danville’s Ellsworth Park — known for the weekend as Lancaster, England — King Henry VIII will organize a jousting tournament between his champion knight and a challenging intruder. Meanwhile, the “village” will be filled with merchants and eateries selling goods from chainmail jewelry to handmade period clothing, from turkey legs to cheesecake-on-a-stick. The festival takes faire-goers back to the time of King Henry’s reign in the early 1500s. He is perhaps best remembered for his almost continuous stream of spouses over the course of his life (whom he divorced, beheaded, survived, divorced and beheaded, respectively, before his sixth wife survived him). In fact, the festival will feature his royal wedding to his third wife, Lady Jane Seymour — played by a couple that is actually renewing their vows. The goal of the festival is to make the historical reenactments seem as authentic as possible. The

Lancing knights. Used with permission from JoMarie Dugan

nine stage areas will host a “wizard” magician, a number of pirate storytellers and comedians, a royal army to demonstrate fighting tactics and Scottish and gypsy dancers, among others. Many of the performances will interact with audience members to teach them Renaissance skills, said festival director JoMarie Dugan An eclectic range of musicians will perform throughout the day. For Liza Sullivan, a vendor

THIS WEEK KR ANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS

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FR AUG 26

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Allerton Music Barn Festival 2011: Opening Night: An Evening of Strauss Waltzes and Viennese Bonbons

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Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council—a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

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40 North and Krannert Center — working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

who frequents these festivals, the music makes the Renaissance fantasy a reality. “There’s not a more intriguing part of festivals than the music,” she said. “I think if you have excellent music at a renaissance festival, it puts you back to the time period faster than anything else.” Sullivan started attending festivals with her husband about four years ago to sell their handmade wood products, bent willow furniture and incense.

The merchant tent for Wood, Willow & Whatknots is in the Renaissance-style, pointy and colorful. “At an art fair, everybody’s got the same white tent. Renaissance festivals are upscale,” Sullivan said. “It’s aesthetically pleasing and aesthetically correct for the time period.” Vendors and patrons might dress themselves in historically correct garb for the weekend, as well. It is important to note, however, that all steel weaponry must be “sheathed and peace-tied,” and rid thyself of all thy bows and arrows because they aren’t allowed at all. But even those who don’t know the difference between the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, who feel no desire to add “e” to the end of every other worde or who shy away from role play can enjoy the culture of a Renaissance faire. “The first time I went to one, I had no idea what a Renaissance festival was, and I fell in love,” Sullivan said. “Even if you don’t have any interest in that time period, it’s a lot of fun.” The festival runs from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Saturday and 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sunday. Military active duty members and veterans can get in for free; general admission is $6. Check out illinoisrenfaire.com for more information.


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Someone let my feet fall asleep.

AUGUST 25 - 31, 2011

STRUMMING IN AIR There’s a lot more to air guitar than you might think by Avani Chhaya

W

hen I first heard the words “air guitar,” I thought I was hearing made-up phrases used in conjunction with everyday jargon. And when I first read it on a brightly-colored flyer in a local CU guitar shop, I pretentiously smirked at the misprint. Air guitar; guitar made out of air. Thus, not existing. According to Wikipedia, it’s a form of dance and movement where a performer pretends to play rock or heavy metal. It’s a performance, all about “dazzling” the crowd with ridiculous costumes or the lack thereof, exaggerated dance moves and a so-called stage presence. I am not smirking anymore. What I thought was a misprint has actually been in existence since the ‘80s, and my previous pretentious air has now deflated like an old balloon. It all hit me while checking out the news. I stumbled upon a photo gallery from the Chicago Tribune. Rockers with leopard-print pants, teased hair and studded belt buckles posed with their intangible guitars in late July for the U.S. Air Guitar National Finals. I took it a bit further and found air guitar “Love” on Youtube. Gunther Love, as a matter of fact.

Gunther Love, one of the finalists in the Air Guitar World Championships for 2010, sports a gold chain, metallic golden pants, white tennis shoes, a sleazy car dealer’s mustache and oversized white sunglasses. In the video, he starts to strum his imaginary guitar with his tongue. While an actual song plays overhead, he rolls his hips and kicks to the beat and then proceeds to spin all the way around with a series of one-foot kicks. The point where Gunther flips backwards drives the crowd further into cheers. At the end of his performance, he takes the guitar strap off from around his neck and puts the imaginary guitar to the side with careful deliberation. ...Really? That is the only response I can elicit right now. Am I supposed to take this “artistic” attempt seriously, or am I to laugh at the foolishness of these performers? At first, it was hard to believe that people put stake in such a silly endeavor. But now I wonder, why not? Why shouldn’t air guitar rockers crowd surf, bust out with stage theatrics or enjoy the adrenaline rush that accompanies a performance? I have come

Used with permission from kate at yr own risk and the Creative Commons

around to acknowledge that air guitar does in fact exist. Beyond this simple acknowledgment, I have come to appreciate it as something that interrupts mundane monotony for life-throttling excitement.

Talk of air guitar has filled my conversation with friends over the last few days. Any mention of air guitar lights up students’ faces, and the word “cool” inevitably follows.

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11


CHATS WITH PYGMALION Gardens & Villa BANDS PT. 1

Nelson Beck

Certified Reflexologist r r TQB r r DFMM

Reflexology This card is good for $10 off first time appointments. Not valid with other promotions. 2nd Floor, 115 W. Main St, Urbana, IL 61801 www.greenyogaspa.com

Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign College of Fine and Applied Arts 500 East Peabody Drive Champaign, Illinois 61820 kam.illinois.edu 217 333 1861

by Adam Barnett Exhibitions Opening streaming live on the217.com Thursday, August 25, 2011 Private Members’ Reception 5–6pm Public Opening Reception 6–7pm (museum open until 9 pm) At Fifty: KAM, 1961–2011 Recent Aquisitions Makeba! Jerusalem Saved! Featuring a gallery conversation with Michael Rush, guest curator of At Fifty, at 6 pm Cash bar provided by Michaels’ Catering Hosted by the School of Art + Design and Krannert Art Museum For complete descriptions of exhibitions, programs, events, and sponsors, visit kam.illinois.edu.

Exhibitions and programs are partially supported by a grant from the Illinois Arts Council, a state agency. Image: Harold Eugene Edgerton, Bullet Through Apple (detail), 1964. Color photograph. Promised gift of the Harold and Esther Edgerton Family Foundation. © MIT 2010. Courtesy of MIT Museum.

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buzz

A

fter a lengthy tour and a pretty successful first week of life for their debut self-titled, Gardens & Villa are going out again for another leg of touring coast-to-coast and possibly Europe. On the way, they stop by Pygmalion Music Festival for a set at Channing-Murray in Urbana on Sept. 22. » buzz: You guys didn’t really sound like you do now before you recorded your record. Where did that shift come from? LH: That shift came from a lot of different directions. I mean, me, Adam and Chris had been playing together for about seven years, and we had just done a couple of different styles and played with other people, and we were kind of doing the noise, post-rock jam band for a while, and when we started Gardens & Villa proper, it was just more folk-y. We were writing songs with lyrics and stuff, and after doing that for about a year, we met Shane. And once we started playing with Shane, Shane just brought — not only his own style because we hadn’t really played with a whole lot of bass players before. So when you add a bass, that for me as a drummer definitely puts me into a certain sort of groove. And I think Shane had played more popular rock than any of us had played, so he kind of brought that to the way he would structure songs and so forth. So we were going in that direction of writing some songs that I guess were a little more catchy but still kind of keeping it minimal, not putting in too many hooks. And right at the same time, Adam — who used to play on a keyboard, mainly played piano tones — he had gotten a synthesizer and was really starting to get into that and use the synthesizer more, and I don’t know if that was intentional when Shane came along, but that’s just kind of the way it happened, and before I knew it, he was just strictly playing synthesizer. And the final thing was when we went up to record with Richard Swift, we had these songs, but we felt like a lot of them were sort of missing one or two parts. And every once in a while on the songs, Richard Swift would add in one little synth line here or one electronic drum sound there, and I think that’s kind of what completed our sound was when we were up there recording with Richard. » buzz: I was reading that you guys slept in Richard’s backyard the whole recording process without a shower or a kitchen. How did that affect the record? LH: I think it was really good for us. I mean, we were at the house with Richard. It wasn’t like we had to drive to the studio every single day. So we’d wake up — and Richard wakes up late — so we would

Used with permission from Gardens & Villa

just kind of wake up, and we’d have some time. We could go on a run, or we could just chill out. His daughters were around — he has three daughters that would come out and play — they have a garden of all things, which is something that’s always inspired us. They also had a chicken coop and a couple of cats that came around. So it was just a real comfortable environment, similar to what we’ve kind of been used to in Santa Barbara, ‘cause in Santa Barbara, the four of us lived together, and we practiced and did recordings at our own house. So it was kind of similar that — we were all living in the same place where we were all playing music, and there was just a real home environment. So I think it was something that, regardless that we didn’t have showers and the amenities, we were used to; it felt like home, nonetheless. But I think after two weeks, we were ready to get back and shower up and have beds and so forth. But it was just an experience for two weeks where it was just camping out and living on the bare minimum. » buzz: You were talking about how gardens inspire the band. In what ways do gardens inspire you? LH: Well, it’s kind of more like a literal thing. The band name “Gardens & Villa.” We lived on Villa Avenue right around the same time when the three of us started writing folk songs together. We had gotten into planting a garden, so that’s where we got the name from. I think it just comes from the way we live in Santa Barbara — farmers markets multiple times a week... » buzz: Did you guys originally intend for your record to be self-titled, or did you have any other album names? LH: We kind of threw out some other ideas. I think one of the first ones we threw out was — we had taken this photo at our house of these beach chairs, and there were just these beach chairs against the house wall outside, and we looked at that and thought, “Gardens & Villa — we’ll call it ‘Coastal Village,’” referring to Santa Barbara. And I kind of thought that at first, but that was right around the time we recorded the album. And then as we got into really thinking about album artwork and what we wanted our aesthetic to be — I think we didn’t want it to be too literal, so we kind of dropped that name, and we didn’t want to be termed as a chillwave band, so we wanted to keep it a little more abstract and keep options open so far as what our style is and our aesthetic. And we thought that just keeping it self-titled for our first album kind of made sense. So it was something we all agreed upon.


MUSIC

August 25 - 31, 2011

the217.com

Scribble Scrobble Last.fm discusses its innovations in internet music by Ashley Sarver

T

here are many ways to access music online; most people have figured this out. Fred McIntyre, Senior Vice President of Product and Strategic Development at CBS Interactive Music Group, explains the ins and outs of Last. fm, just one of the many ways to get connected to some killer tunes online. He explains what it means to scrobble and why it’s beneficial for independent artists. » buzz: Where did the idea of “scrobbling” come from, and why is it useful? Fred McIntyre: Richard Jones created something called the Audioscrobbler when he was in school to track the music listening done by him and his friends on their computers. This eventually became what Last.fm users know today as “scrobbling.” Scrobbling tracks a user’s listening history and habits and adds it to their Last.fm profile, allowing them and others to see what artists they really listen to the most. Through the use of scrobbling, Last.fm is able to intelligently recommend other bands and artists you might like and what shows and festivals you should attend. » buzz: What is the difference between the iPod scrobbler and the Last.fm scrobbler? FM: They are one and the same. The Last.fm Scrobbler (also called “the client”) is a desktop application which you can use to play Last.fm radio stations, scrobble music you listen to with your media player on your computer, and to edit your profile by tagging your music,

loving and banning tracks, adding items to your playlist, and more. You can scrobble music from your iPod (or other services and devices) using Last.fm’s software. Last.fm supports all iPods, Firewire and USB, including iPhone and iPod Touch. If you have activated the Last.fm Scrobbler on your computer, once an iPod is plugged into said computer, it should automatically transfer and input your iPod listening/scrobbles to your Last.fm profile. » buzz: What do you think makes Last.fm better than other internet radio stations and web sites? FM: Scrobbling and intelligent recommendations are what really sets Last.fm apart from the competition. By offering every registered listener unique music recommendations — powered by their scrobbles — the service is more familiar and more personal than any editorially driven music blog and many other automated recommendation engines. We also think that Last.fm does the best job fostering independent music and helping its users to discover new music and artists. » buzz: When was Last.fm created and by whom? What was the inspiration? FM: University student Richard Jones started tracking what he and his friends were listening to on their computers with Audioscrobbler. Last. fm in its current form came into being in 2005, when Jones connected with Felix Miller and Martin Stiksel, advocates for independent music who were running an online radio site called Last.fm since 2002. Last.fm brought both parties’ ideas

Low-cal music

and desires together to help create a cohesive, personalized and integrated listening experience based on a listener’s taste in music. Once combined, the service flourished, soon supporting a global community of music fans. Since its inception, Last.fm has always brought listeners new music they will love, however they choose to listen to it. In May 2006, the team moved from their original London location to its current headquarters in Old Street, the heart of London’s digital technology sector. One year later, in 2007, Last.fm was acquired by CBS and remains part of their digital music portfolio. » buzz: How accessible is Last.fm for independent

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Transporter Room 3*:

Mike ‘N Molly’s:

Date: 8/28 @ 7:30 p.m.

Date: 8/25 @ 9 p.m.

a cozy first show at a new house venue with a solo ead Ocean good-ol’-days jammers The Donkeys headIpopt’ssetcharmers by Withershins frontman Isaac Arms, indie folk- Dline this one with support from New Ruins’ Elzie SexPalace Flophouse and some more folk a la ton’s solo endeavor My Werewolf Diary and newly birthed Andrew Bird from Morgan Orion.

artists and those trying to break onto the scene? FM: Last.fm has around 12 million songs in its catalog. Of the 12 million, nearly three million of those songs have been uploaded by independent bands and record labels. In fact, one in five songs played on Last.fm come from independent artists or labels. Recently, our sister site MP3.com relaunched and features free downloads from independent artists and uses Last.fm’s Music Manager software to encourage artists to upload their music to our sites. » buzz: How “well-known” do you have to be to get scrobbled? FM: As soon as you upload a song to Last.fm, it can be scrobbled by users...

CU supergroup Anna Karina/Anna Karenina.

Daytrotter Barnstormer – Kalyx Center, Monticello: Date: 9/2 @ 6:30 p.m.

our favorite hip, free mp3 website is back at MonticelY lo’s Kalyx Center for another Daytrotter Barnstormer with White Rabbits, Wildlife, Princeton, Hacienda and

Hundred Visions. It’s a concert in a rad wooden barn. The floor bounces up and down like a trampoline, and there’s a giant bonfire with ample room to camp out before summer turns to fall.

buzz

13


catching up with ...

an horse

by Adam Barnett

A

n Horse: an Australian indie-rock duo, both with relatively short blonde hair and exceptionally charming accents. Towards the end of a long Lollapalooza Saturday, Damon Cox and Kate Cooper sat down by some wet grass with yours truly to discuss a whole world of things from their recent full-length record to narwhals in about ten minutes. Are you ready? » buzz: Knowing that this is the last interview of the day, I was just wondering if you guys have gotten any particularly strange questions yet. Damon Cox: We got a couple, didn’t we? Kate Cooper: I feel like we did, but my mind is blank. DC: Our brains are a little bit fried right now. KC: Nothing offensive, which is nice. DC: Nothing too crazy today. KC: We didn’t have to shut anyone down, so everyone’s been lovely. DC: It’s been a pleasant experience here. » buzz: I heard that you’ve been doing press all day for the last two days. Have you gotten a chance to see any acts? DC: No, we haven’t. We haven’t seen a thing. KC: I’m listening to Local Natives right now. DC: We’ve heard a bunch of stuff from the press area here, but we haven’t really witnessed anyone play except for ourselves... KC: We’d love to see Lykke Li. That’d be rad... » buzz: How did your set go? DC: The show was great. It was really awesome. KC: Good vibes. DC: Lots of people, really receptive audience. It started raining at one point — no one moved. KC: Which is good. » buzz: You guys have supported Tegan and Sara a couple times, and I saw an interview you did with Sara on Youtube ­— KC: I’ve never done an interview with Sara. That’s fake. DC: Yeah, that was a fake me as well. KC: She faked us. » buzz: Really? KC: No, it happened. DC: It really happened. » buzz: I was freaking out because it was really convincing. DC: No, 100% right you are. » buzz: Good, because I was wondering how you guys all met. And what’s your relationship like with them? KC: We worked at a record store, me and Damon. DC: Yeah, and they were in town in Brisbane, Australia. KC: Doing an in-store at our record store, and I was a fan. (To Damon) And I feel like I had just converted you to being a fan because it 14

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was when So Jealous had come out. And I was excited to meet them, and they played, and just because I worked at the store, I got to meet them. And they had a night off, and they said, “What would you do if you were us in town tonight?” And I said, “Well, I would hang out with me and my friends.” And they went, “Alright.” I was pretty happy, and we did, and we’ve been friends for years... DC: It wasn’t until a few years after that, that An Horse began. KC: We had literally just finished recording the night they were in town, and I always hung out with them when they were in the country, and I met up with them in Brisbane and said, “This is some stuff. This is a thing I’m working on.” Because Sara was very supportive but also very honest with the stuff I’ve done creatively, and she took it away, and I didn’t hear from her. And three weeks later, I got an e-mail saying, “Hey, do you want to come on tour in North America?” And that was our first-ever tour. DC: That was an exciting time. buzz: That’s a great first tour. DC: Yeah, it really was. We toured a bunch in other bands, and for that to be a first tour for this band is really cool. » buzz: What happened to your other bands? KC: We were just too busy. DC: They just kind of ran their course, you know? KC: Personally, for me, the other people in my old band — they were ready to do different things, and I still had a hunger to do this. Damon has the hunger, too. We got lucky we met each other, so we can be hungry together. DC: Starving. » buzz: Starving artists. KC: Literally. » buzz: Hopefully not too starving. Hopefully, you get to eat at some point. DC: We haven’t today, but hopefully. » buzz: You’ve got some Pirate’s Booty over there. KC: I’m not that excited about this. Would you like it? » buzz: No, I’ve taken too many snacks. That was my favorite snack when I was younger, though. KC: I’ve never heard of it. » buzz; Oh, it’s good stuff. KC: (To Damon) Put it in your bag for the plane. » buzz; Are you guys flying back to Australia after this? DC: I am. KC: Damon is tomorrow, and I actually live in Toronto. But yeah. Damon’s got a big flight. Damon leaves tomorrow afternoon, and I leave early in the morning... » buzz; What’s the indie scene like in Australia? DC: It’s pretty good. It’s a small music scene

Used with permission from An Horse

because the population is less than the population of California, so yeah. It’s pretty small. But it’s good. There are a lot of great bands, but we don’t spend a lot of time there because we’re always touring with our own band, so it’s hard to keep up with what’s happening. But there are definitely some great bands. KC: And historically there’s been. Like The Saints, the first punk band in the world. DC: The Go Betweens and The Saints were both from Brisbane. KC: Savage Garden, the Bee Gees. » buzz: Wow, the Bee Gees? I had no idea. DC: Originally. KC: Yeah, they came across on a boat from the UK when they were little boys. » buzz: Maybe you guys are the new Bee Gees. KC: I hope so. Except they kind of got messy, didn’t they? Took a lot of drugs. A lot of drugs. » buzz: Hopefully, that won’t happen. KC: No, that wouldn’t happen. » buzz: I read in an interview in the Huffington Post that the album name Walls came from the repetition of the word in the recordings. So why do you feel that “walls” were discussed so much in the songs? KC: We wrote that after two years on the road, and just the frustrations you have — the highs and the lows. I mean, there was of course a lot of frustration and a lot of amazing moments, but even the frustrations of being away from your family, away from loved ones, and then there’s the building of walls, the metaphorical walls, you know? To keep boundaries. It was an interesting time for us, and we learned a lot, and it just made sense. It’s not a negative thing, necessarily. It’s just a word that came up a lot. » buzz: What do you think you learned the most from those couple years of touring? KC: I mean, we just learned how to be a band,

and we’re still learning that. Learning how to be a band and good people is always important to keep learning. » buzz: Do you prefer horses, zebras or unicorns? DC: I’ll take the zebra. KC: Yeah, but I’d call it a zebra (pronounced: zehbra). They’re good-looking animals. So prehistoric. DC: Horses kind of freak me out a little bit. KC: They’re gross. Unicorns — I’m not sure if anyone has told you — they don’t actually exist. DC: I’ve never seen one. » buzz: Oh, no. I’m so sad now. KC: Go for the narwhal. That’s what I’d take. It’s the unicorn of the ocean ... They’re beautiful creatures. » buzz: Have you ever seen a narwhal in real life? KC: No. I swam with lots of sharks and dolphins, but never a narwhal. buzz: So then why are you called An Horse if you find horses disgusting? KC: I don’t even think about “horse” being in the name too much. It was just a grammar argument I had with my sister. DC: His sister gave him a sweater with “An horse” written on it as a joke because they were arguing whether or not it was “a horse” or “an horse.” And we needed a band name at the time, and it seemed to fit. » buzz: I’ve been involved in that debate a lot. What are your stances on the “an’s” and the “h’s”? KC: It’s correct. It’s just case-by-case. If you wanna go deep, there are a couple of style manuals, and sometimes they contradict each other, but it is correct. Not always, but if you want to get into the semantics of it, there are hard h’s and soft h’s and vowels after h’s. Educating. Bringing awareness to people without grammar. » buzz: That’s what the band should be about. It’s not about the music; it’s about the grammar. DC: That’s right. KC: That’s secondary.


CALENDAR

AUGUST 25 - 31, 2011

Complete listing available at

THE217.COM/CALENDAR

SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at the217.com/calendar • E-mail: send your notice to calendar@the217.com • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 25 live music Jazz in the Courtyard Illini Union, U, 12pm Keith Harden Acoustic The Clark Bar, C, 6pm Billy Galt and Jeff Kerr AnSun, C, 7pm Purity Ring Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 8pm, $5 Live Karaoke Band Boomerang’s Bar and Grill, U, 9pm Chillax Radio Maria, C, 9pm Ole #7 Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm The Sugar Prophets and Champaign-Urbana BBQ Open Blues Jam KoFusion, C, 10pm

dj DJ BJ Dance Night Po’ Boys, U, 8pm Here Come the Regulars Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm DJ Luniks Firehaus, C, 10pm, $5

karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Memphis on Main, C, 9pm RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by 3L Entertainment Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by 3L Entertainment Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm

movies

fashion

Srugim Viewing The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7:30pm

Yarn n Yak Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 7pm

stage Open Stage at Red Herring Red Herring Coffeehouse, U, 9pm

art opening The Treehouse: Recycled, Repurposed, Reimagined University YMCA, C, 5pm

FRIDAY 26 live music

kids and families Preschool Story Time Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 10am Preschool Story Time Raising Readers Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 10:30am, 3:30pm

mind/body/spirit

Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 art exhibit Hot Yoga Surfaces and Comments Evolve Fitness Club, C, in 3D 12pm, $10 Cinema Gallery, U, Core Yoga with Maggie 10am Taylor Of Dreams and Fable Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Illini Union, U, 12pm 12pm, $12 “Dreams and Other Ashtanga Yoga with Visions” by Rebecca Certified Yoga Teacher Zagorski and “Be There Lauren Quinn Then” by Rachel Edwards Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30pm, $12 6pm. Yin Yoga with Certified Yoga Teacher Lauren museum exhibit Quinn opening Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Public Exhibitions Open- 7pm, $12 ing Reception Krannert Art Museum and support groups Kinkead Pavilion, C, 6pm Counseling Center Among Women Support museum exhibit Group A to Z to ! Asian American Cultural U of I Main Library, U, Center, U, 6:30pm 8:30am

recreation

food and drink

Krannert Uncorked Tale for Twos Krannert Center for the Douglass Branch Library, C, Performing Arts, U, 10:30am 5pm

YOGA

FOR MEN An introductory class with emphasis on creating flexibility, maintaining fitness for sports as well as reducing fatigue and for prostate health.

Lukas Clide Illini Union, U, 12pm Andy Moreillon Fat City Bar & Grill, C, 4pm ‘Appy Hour Silvercreek, U, 5:30pm, $2-$10 FREE Happy Hour Show! Memphis on Main, C, 6pm Keith Harden Acoustic Huber’s West End Store, C, 8pm Jimmy Warren with special guest Billy Branch Memphis on Main, C, 8pm Tater and Barb Hamilton Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm Bible Belt Sinners, Hi Ho Buffalo Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 9pm, $5, The Mighty Pranksters Fat City Bar & Grill, C, 9pm

dj DJ Tommy Williams Chester Street, C, 9pm, $3. DJ Delayney Highdive, C, 10pm, $5 DJ Cal Emmerich Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm

karaoke RockStarz Karaoke: Presented by 3L Entertainment Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 9pm Karaoke at Po’ Boys Po’ Boys, U, 9pm DJ Bange Karaoke Phoenix, C, 9pm

12 Week Fall Session starts August 31 Wednesdays 7:00 - 8:30 PM Enroll Anytime

YOGA institute of Champaign-Urbana 407 W. Springfield 344-YOGA (344-9642) www.yoga-cu.com

art exhibit The Treehouse: Recycled, Repurposed, Reimagined University YMCA, C, 9am Surfaces and Comments in 3D Cinema Gallery, U, 10am Of Dreams and Fable Illini Union, U, 12pm “Dreams and Other Visions” by Rebecca Zagorski and “Be There Then” by Rachel Edwards Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 6pm

museum exhibit A to Z to ! U of I Main Library, U, 8:30am. At Fifty: Krannert Art Museum, 1961-2011 Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Recent Acquisitions, 2006-2011 Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Makeba! Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Astral Convertible Stage Set Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9ams. Spring Prairie Skies William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 7pm IBEX: Search for the Edge of the Solar System William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 8pm

environmental issues Bats at the Bridge Lake of the Woods Forest Preserve, Mahomet, 7pm, $2

Goth Night The Clark Bar, C, 10pm DJ Space Police Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm

dance music

Intro Tango Lesson & Dance Yoga Phillips Recreation Center, Krannert Art Museum and U, 7:30pm, $10-$15 Kinkead Pavilion, C, 12pm Salsa Night with DJ Dr. J Lunchtime Express Power Radio Maria, C, 10pm Flow with Certified Yoga Teacher Amanda Reagan karaoke Amara Yoga & Arts, U, RockStarz Karaoke: Pre12pm, $12 sented by 3L EntertainVinyasa Krama Yoga with ment Don Briskin Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaAmara Yoga & Arts, U, voy, 9pm 4pm, $12 Karaoke at Boomerangs Happy Hour Flow Yoga Bar and Grill with Amanda Reagan Boomerang’s Bar and Grill, Amara Yoga & Arts, U, U, 9pm 5:30pm, $12

mind/body/spirit

faith

stage

Astral Convertible Stage Set Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am IBEX: Search for the Edge of the Solar System William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 8pm Do It Yours Orpheum Children’s Science Museum, C, 1pm Amazing Stargazing William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 7pm, $3-$5

recreation CUAS Starwatch North Waterfowl Management Area, 8pm

environmental issues

Open Auditions “TennesFriday Night Live see at 100” and “Dead Champaign-Urbana Jewish Man’s Cell Phone” Federation, C, 6:45pm, Parkland College, C, 1pm

CUAS Starwatch Middle Fork River Forest Preserve, Penfield, 8pm

miscellaneous

festivals

kids and families

International Coffeehouse Etc. Coffee House, U, 4pm

Illinois Renaissance Festival 11:00 am, $6

food and drink

art exhibit

Family Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 1:15pm, $6-$12

Half Price Happy Hour Emerald City Lounge, C, 5pm

Surfaces and Comments in 3D Cinema Gallery, U, 10am “Dreams and Other Visions” by Rebecca Zagorski and “Be There Then” by Rachel Edwards Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 6pm

SATURDAY 27 live music

Live Jazz with Panache Jim Gould Restaurant, C, 7pm Slow Intentional Damage, lectures Kaos Ordinance, Neurotic High Noon with the Artist Phoenix, C, 9pm Parkland Art Gallery, C, Altria/Decadents/Stone12pm Faced Memphis on Main, C, 9pm recreation Caleb Cook and Friends Open Gym Volleyball Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, Champaign County 9pm Brookens Administration The Donkeys, My WereCenter, U, 5:30pm, $1 wolf Diary, Anna Karina/ Anna Karenina literary Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 9pm, $5 Zionist Food for Thought The Hillel Foundation, The dj Margie K. and Louis N. Co- DJ Belly hen Center for Jewish Life, Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm C, 12pm DJ Randall Ellison Chester Street, C, 9pm, $3 social issues DJ Presented by 3L EnterIsra-ed Weekly Session tainment Cafe Sababa, C, 12pm D.R. Diggers, C, 9:30pm

art Come Help Paint! Social Heroes and Change Makers Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 10am

museum exhibit Recent Acquisitions, 2006-2011 Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am At Fifty: Krannert Art Museum, 1961-2011 Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am

community Market at the Square Lincoln Square Mall, U, 7am

mind/body/spirit Yoga Fundamentals Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 9am, $12. Saturday Power Flow with Corrie Proksa Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12

faith Torah Study Sinai Temple, C, 9am TGIS (Thank G-d It’s Shabbat) Chabad Center for Jewish Life, C, 10am

classes and workshops Kooky Kohlrabi Common Ground Food Coop, U, 10:30am Sugar Blues Common Ground Food Co-op, U, 1:00pm, $2.50-$5

buzz

15


food and drink

game-playing

Flying Monkey Cafe Opens Curtis Orchard, C, 11am Sensational Saturday Tasting Sun Singer Wine & Spirits, C, 12pm Half Price Happy Hour Emerald City Lounge, C, 5pm

Pokemon BW Emerging Powers Prerelease Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 9am, $25 Big Dave’s Trivia Night Cowboy Monkey, C, 7pm Trivia Night The Blind Pig Brewery, C, 7pm,

Monday 29

campus activities

open mic

community

open mic

literary

live music

Nutrition Walk In La Casa Cultural Latina, U, 5pm

Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm

Locals’ Night Po’ Boys, U, 4pm

game-playing

movies

mind/body/spirit

Raising Readers Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 3:30pm

Israeli Movie Club The Hillel Foundation, The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, 7:30pm

Open mic night at Samuel Music Samuel Music, 5pm Open Mic Comedy Night Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Open Mic Nite Phoenix, C, 9pm

One Dollar Wild Mondays Canopy Club, U, 10am Jesse Johnson Illini Union, U, 12pm

Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Hot Yoga dj Evolve Fitness Club, C, DJ Randall Ellison 12pm, $10 literary art exhibit Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 Awakening Yoga with kids and families Sunday 28 UFL Reads Science FicEletro/Industrial Night The Treehouse: Recycled, Maggie Taylor tion “Must Reads”: To Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 Baby & Me Yoga with Repurposed, Reimagined Amara Yoga & Arts, U, live music Say Nothing of the Dog Corrie Proksa University YMCA, C, 9am 7:15am, $12 karaoke Live Jazz with Panache Urbana Free Library, U, Amara Yoga & Arts, U, “Dreams and Other Slow Flow Yoga with Jim Gould Restaurant, C, 2pm RockStarz Karaoke: Pre- 10:30am, $12 Visions” by Rebecca Amanda Reagan 7pm sented by 3L EntertainZagorski and “Be There Amara Yoga & Arts, U, social issues mind/body/spirit Keith and Kathy Harden ment Then” by Rachel Edwards 5:30pm, $12 w/ Andy Baylor AWARE Meeting Mike ‘n Molly’s, C, 10pm Hatha Yoga with Grace Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Ashtanga Yoga with Boomerang’s Bar and Grill, McKinley Presbyterian Giorgio 6pm Certified Yoga Teacher U, 6pm Church and Foundation, C, stage Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Lauren Quinn museum exhibit 5:15pm Monday Night Comedy 5:30pm, $12 Amara Yoga & Arts, U, open mic Illini Union, U, 7pm Tarot Reader A to Z to ! 7pm, $12 fundraisers Open Mic Nite Boltini Lounge, C, 6:30pm U of I Main Library, U, art exhibit classes and Phoenix, C, 7pm CAC Fall Dog Wash! Restorative Yoga 8:30am workshops Stock Pavilion, U, 12pm, The Treehouse: Recycled, Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Makeba! stage $5 Repurposed, Reimagined 7pm, $12 Krannert Art Museum and Real Computing Help Open Auditions “TennesUniversity YMCA, C, 9am Yoga Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Douglass Branch Library, mind/body/spirit see at 100” and “Dead “Dreams and Other St. Andrew’s Lutheran At Fifty: Krannert Art C, 6pm Man’s Cell Phone” Slow Flow Yoga with Visions” by Rebecca Church and Campus CenMuseum, 1961-2011 Parkland College, C, 1pm Linda Lehovec Zagorski and “Be There ter, C, 7pm Krannert Art Museum and food and drink Drag Show Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Then” by Rachel Edwards Prana Flow Yoga Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Taco Tuesdays Chester Street, C, 10pm, 2:30pm, Amara Yoga & Arts, U, Living Yoga Center, U, Recent Acquisitions, Emerald City Lounge, C, $4 $12 6pm 7:15pm, $15 2006-2011 5pm, $5 Happy Challenge Yoga Krannert Art Museum and art exhibit art classes and with Maggie Taylor Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Wednesday 31 workshops “Dreams and Other Amara Yoga & Arts, U, MELD: Monday Evening Astral Convertible Stage live music Visions” by Rebecca 4pm, $12 Life Drawing group Poetry Workshop Set Zagorski and “Be There Collective Meditation McGown Photography, Red Herring Coffeehouse, Krannert Art Museum and Kirby Kaiser Then” by Rachel Edwards Ananda Liina Yoga & Med- 7pm, $7 U, 7:30pm Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Illini Union, U, 12pm Amara Yoga & Arts, U, itation Center, U, 5pm Jerusalem Saved! InDonnie Heitle: Solo Piano museum exhibit 6pm Tuesday 30 ness and the Spiritual Great Impasta, U, 6pm miscellaneous A to Z to ! Landscape Open Deck Night museum exhibit live music The Zionist Lunch and U of I Main Library, U, Krannert Art Museum Radio Maria, C, 9pm Makeba! Learn 8:30am Alec Stern and Kinkead Pavilion, C, dj Krannert Art Museum and Cafe Sababa, C, Makeba! Illini Union, U, 12pm 9am Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am 11:30am Krannert Art Museum and Blue Tuesdays- Presented DJ Tommy Williams campus activities At Fifty: Krannert Art Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am by 3L Entertainment Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 classes and Museum, 1961-2011 At Fifty: Krannert Art Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaRevive, Restore, Relax: DJ Randall Ellison Krannert Art Museum and workshops Museum, 1961-2011 voy, 7:30pm Weston Wellness Boltini Lounge, C, 9pm Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Salsa Dance Lessons: Krannert Art Museum Dueling Guitars Weston Residence Hall, Old School Night Jerusalem Saved! Inness Beginners and Kinkead Pavilion, C, Jupiter’s II, C, C, 3pm Red Star Liquors, U, 9pm and the Spiritual LandCapoeira Academy, C, 9am 8pm Knitting Club and Glee Wompdown Wednesscape 6pm, $5 Recent Acquisitions, Dueling Guitars at JupiThe Hillel Foundation, The days: Chalice Mug Krannert Art Museum and Salsa Dance Lessons: 2006-2011 ters/Crossing Margie K. and Louis N. Co- Night! Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Intermediate/Advanced Krannert Art Museum and Jupiter’s II, C, 8pms hen Center for Jewish Life, Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $1 Recent Acquisitions, Capoeira Academy, C, Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am The Piano Man C, 7pm I Love The ‘90s with DJ 2006-2011 7:30pm, $5 Astral Convertible Stage Canopy Club, U, 9pm Mingram game-playing Krannert Art Museum and Set Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm food and drink Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Krannert Art Museum and karaoke Trivia Tuesdays Astral Convertible Stage Champagne Brunch with Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am RockStarz Karaoke: Pre- Memphis on Main, C, 7pm dance music Set a Diva! Jerusalem Saved! Inness sented by 3L EntertainTango Dancing kids and families Krannert Art Museum and Emerald City Lounge, C, and the Spiritual Landment Cowboy Monkey, C, 8pm Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am 10am, scape Bentley’s Pub, C, 10pm Walk-in Storytime and Salsa Dancing $12 Krannert Art Museum and RockStarz Karaoke: Pre- Creative Play Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm campus activities Sandy’s Bagel Brunch Kinkead Pavilion, C, sented by 3L EntertainClass Act, C, 2pm, karaoke M and M: Midrash and and Games 9am ment $2 Meal The Hillel Foundation, The Corner Tavern, MontiRockStarz Karaoke: Prelectures lgbt The Hillel Foundation, The The Margie K. and Louis cello, 8pm sented by 3L EntertainMargie K. and Louis N. Co- N. Cohen Center for Jew- High Noon with the Artist Rockstarz Karaoke Rainbow Coffeehouse ment hen Center for Jewish Life, ish Life, C, Parkland Art Gallery, C, Chester Street, C, Etc. Coffee House, U, Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaC, 6pm 11am 12pm 10pm 6pm voy, 9pm 16

buzz

Trivia Night Bentley’s Pub, C, 7:30pm Bingo Night Memphis on Main, C, 10pm

art exhibit The Treehouse: Recycled, Repurposed, Reimagined University YMCA, C, 9am “Dreams and Other Visions” by Rebecca Zagorski and “Be There Then” by Rachel Edwards Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 6pm

museum exhibit A to Z to ! U of I Main Library, U, 8:30am Makeba! Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am At Fifty: Krannert Art Museum, 1961-2011 Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Recent Acquisitions, 2006-2011 Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Astral Convertible Stage Set Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C, 9am

environmental issues Students for Environmental Concerns University YMCA, C, 6:30pm

kids and families Storyshop at the Branch Douglass Branch Library, C, 10:30am Wrestling Fan Club Rantoul Public Library, Rantoul, 4pm

seniors Senior Free Wii Days Phillips Recreation Center, U, 9am

mind/body/spirit Open Yoga Practice Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30am, $8 Yoga Fundamentals Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 4pm, $12 Astanga Yoga Living Yoga Center, U, 9am, $15 Yoga and Meditation Club Class Asian American Cultural Center, U, 5pm Wellness Wednesday Activities and Recreation Center (ARC), C, 5:15pm Hatha Flow Amara Yoga & Arts, U, 5:30pm, $12

faith

Lunch ‘n Learn Illini Union, U, 1pm High Noon with the Artist St. John the Divine EpisParkland Art Gallery, C, copal Church, C, 12pm 5:45pm Bible and Brew campus activities St. Andrew’s Lutheran Weekday Orthodox Church and Campus CenMinyan and Breakfast ter, C, The Hillel Foundation: The 8pm Margie K. and Louis N. miscellaneous Cohen Center for Jewish Life, C, Cafe Ivrit 7:30am Espresso Royale, U, 7pm

lectures

game-playing

Euchre Po’ Boys, U, 7pm Live Trivia Buffalo Wild Wings, Savoy, 8pm

classes and workshops Improv Workout Class Act, C, 6:30pm, $10


the217.com

I just wanna bitch with you, baby.

AUGUST 25 - 31, 2011

buz z ’s WEEK AHEAD CAC FALL DOG WASH

MONDAY

TUESDAY

312 vibe

One Dollar Wild

Sunday, Aug. 28 Stock Pavilion 1402 W. Pennsylvania Ave., U. Noon - 4 p.m. Cost: $5

Free Live Music

Ohh, puppies are coming! Dogs! Pups! This is a biannual dog wash held by the Companion Animals Club of UIUC. The money goes to support the student group and local pet rescue organization! I wish I had my doggy down here. His name is Chip. He’s a Yorkie-Poo, and he’s 6 pounds of fur and sass. He really likes my mom because she feeds him. He likes to eat cheese. Chip gets a bath about every week or so, which means he smells good a lot and doesn’t smell like a big wet dog. I wuv my pooky-piebabycakes-Chippy-wippy-poo! — Amy Harwath, Community Editor

WEDNESDAY

night ON WOMPDOWN WEDNESDAYS

$1 PBR, Wells, & Busch Light cans!

3 Long Islands, $2.25 Bud & Bud Light drafts!

$5 Mugs $3 Refills $1 Cover!

A TO Z TO ! UI Rare Book & Manuscript Library 346 Main Library (MC-522) 1408 W. Gregory Dr., U. Thursday, Aug. 25 8:30 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. Free Do you like to smell old books? I do. Nothing like opening a book that hasn’t seen the light of day in possibly centuries and sniffin’ around. If you’re into old books, this is for you. The exhibit will be showcasing examples of alphabets and calligraphy from the collection of rare books and manuscripts. Maybe you can sneak a whiff while you’re there. — Sam Bakall, Food & Drink Editor

THE URBANA SWEETCORN FESTIVAL Downtown Urbana Aug. 26-27 Cost: Free Why: Corn is a rarity in the Midwest. Most of the corn in the area is either popped or imported as a delicacy, and this is why we celebrate such a thing in good ol’ CU. Enjoy some succulent sweet corn for cheap, listen to some bumpin’ tunes, drink free water and walk around a lot. Some of that was a lie, but this festival definitely isn’t. — Adam Barnett, Music Editor

buzz

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Weekday and Weekend shifts are available, with flexible hours to accommodate busy class schedules Shifts available 7 days a week from 9am to 7pm Apply in person at Stone Creek Golf Club --- 2600 S Stone Creek Blvd ---Urbana ---- anytime between 6am and 7pm daily

Help Wanted: Illinimedia Classifieds

The Classifieds Department of the Daily Illini is in need of a part-time worker from 10 a.m. to noon on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. Contact Classifieds at (217)337-8337 if interested. P/T Cashier Needed Hill Street Parking Deck is looking for positive dependable individual that can provide superior customer service, $8.50/hr, 12+ hrs/week. Candidate must have HS diploma and experience working with the public. Please forward resume to kettemand@parkingsolutionsinc. com. Fax: 217-352-9475

HELP WANTED Full/Part time

030

BUSINESS OPPS

050

BARTENDING! $300/day potential, no experience necessary, training courses available. 1-800-965-6520x109.

services

BUSINESS SERVICES 110 Pampered Pet offers Doggie Daycare and Boarding, as well as grooming services for dogs and cats. (217)352-0595.

R U CREATIVE?

ILLINI MEDIA

is

NOW HIRING! wiley@illinimedia.com

410

From $698. 217-367-6626.

420 SUBLETS

905 S. Locust 1 month free. 2 BR. Newer furniture and flooring. Spacious/balcony, laundry. Parking $35-45 (covered). $720-$780 www.905sl.com 217-766-2245 Mon.-Sat.

APARTMENTS Unfurnished

BEST OFFER CAMPUS

430

311 W. Springfield, C Old Town 1 Bedroom. Now available. Close to campus and downtown Champaign. Heat and water paid. Rent reduction $595/mo. Call 217-352-8540. www.faronproperties.com

1 Bedroom Loft 2 Bedroom 3 Bedroom 4 Bedroom Campus. 367-6626 Available August 2011

1405-1407 W. KIRBY, CHAMPAIGN

Colonial style building, on bus line. Interior one bedrooms starts at $415/mo. Large 2 bedroom apartments approx 800 sq. ft. $480/mo, Remodeled $500/mo to $525/mo. Interior 2 bedroom apartments from $460/mo. $50/mo to furnish. Central A/C, carpet, laundry, parking available. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Champaign Old TOwn-dOwnTOwn

2 Bedrooms now available nEwlY REdUCEd RaTES

800 W. Church...........$495 507 W. White.............$560 406 W. Washington...$550 404 S. Prairie.............$600 612 W. Church..........$615

Faron properties, 217-352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

Furnished Help Wanted

Furnished

2 Bedroom Available Fall 2011

APARTMENTS

THE CHAMPAIGN COUNTRY CLUB The Champaign Country Club is now accepting applications for: Dining Room Servers, Banquet Servers, Bussers & Bartenders, and Weekend Office Assistant. Provide top notch service to our members. Apply in person 9am-5pm: 1211 South Prospect Avenue, Champaign, IL

APARTMENTS

rentals

020 APARTMENTS

Stone Creek Golf Club is now hiring part time positions in the Snack Bar and running a Beverage Cart.

!

FOR RENT

420

906 S. Oak, Champaign Furnished 2-4 bedroom apartment for fall 2011. Laundry in the apartment. No pets. $1,000-$1,200. Steve Frerichs 217-359-8450 stevesapartments.com

KARMA

135 W. CLARK CHAMPAIGN Available August 2011. 1 bedrooms featuring IKEA furniture and cabinetry, hardwood floors, video security, off street parking and laundry on site. KARMA is designed to be a fusion of art and living in a contemporary urban environment. Rents from $525/month to $550/month. Call for a showing time. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Deluxe 2 & 3 BR Townhouses 206 E. Green, C. 1 Free Parking Space New Energy Efficient A/C and Heat Ethernet Access $400/person/month Call 621-3430

605 W. University, C Old Town near downtown Champaign. Rate Reduction 1 bedroom now available. Hardwood floors. Parking and water included. $450/mo. Call 217-352-8540 www.faronproperties.com

1418 LINCOLNSHIRE CHAMPAIGN

Avail Aug 2011. Close to St. Matthews. 2 bedrooms starting at $450/ mo to $550/mo, Large living/dining area, gas heat, central a/c, laundry in building, parking avail. No pets allowed. Call for a showing time. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

LINKSVIEW, SAVOY

Aug 2011. Located on 9th hole of UI Golf Course. 2 bedroom 900 sq.ft. Each apt has own garage, storage unit, 2 balconies/patios, dishwashers, disposals, washer/dryer hookups. From $615/mo to $635/mo + parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1901 KAREN CT, CHAMPAIGN

Aug 2011. 1 & 2 bedroom apts in SW Champaign near Windsor Rd & Mattis Ave. 1 bedroom from $505/ mo. 2 bedrooms $540/mo. Carpet, central a/c, dishwashers, disposals, laundry in building, gas heat. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

508 S MATTIS, CHAMPAIGN

Aug 2011. Featuring a beautiful courtyard, this building offers 1 bedroom apts. at $485/mo and 2 bedroom apts. at $530/mo. On bus line with Central A/C, Carpet, Gas Heat, Laundry facilities, Patios or Balconies, Covered Parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 217-356-1873 www.barr-re.com

SUBLETS

440

605 S. Fifth Subleasing room for 2011- 2012. Fully furnished apartment near green street. $513/month. 315-7676875 achintyaashok92@gmail.com

440 OFFICE SPACE

560 OFFICE SPACE

560

2 BR For Rent. Cheap, Big, and Near Campus. 506 W Elm St. $565 (815)307-2360 kmccaff4@illinois.edu

ROOMS

530

CAMPUS ROOMS - $325 712 W. California 217-367-6626

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 Roommate Needed

One bedroom in 4 bedroom apartment available on Engineering/Computer Science campus. Everything included (Utilities, internet, TV). Fully furnished including (TV, kitchen stuff and all). Total $495/mo. 10 month lease. 344-3008

PANTONE 138

Find something new to do.

Available Now and Fall

PANTONE 138

PANTONE COOL GRAY 6

PANTONE COOL GRAY 6

Share deluxe furnished 3 and 4 BR apartments at 3rd and Clark. Nicest on campus from $250/mo. plus utilities. Ted-766-5108. PANTONE 138 138 PANTONE COOL GRAY 6 COOL GRAY 6 PANTONE PANTONE

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OFFICE SPACE

560

THE217.COM

PANTONE 138

PANTONE COOL GRAY 6

PANTONE 138

PANTONE COOL GRAY 6

PRIME CAMPUS LOCATION AVAILABLE FOR LEASE Commercial/office space available in the heart of campustown near 6th and Green. 2,000-6,000 square feet of very flexible space available. For further details email publisher@illinimedia.com


the217.com   August 25 - 31, 2011

Don’t text me “OMG” if you have nothing to tell me.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES

March 21-April 19

I predict that in the coming weeks, you will be able to extract an unexpected perk or benefit from one of your less glamorous responsibilities. I also predict that you will decide not to ram headfirst into an obstacle and try to batter it until it crumbles. Instead, you’ll dream up a roundabout approach that will turn out to be more effective at eliminating the obstacle. Finally, I predict that these departures from habit will show you precious secrets about how to escape more of your own negative conditioning in the future.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

“Dear Astrologer: My life is stagnant and slow. It suffers bone-deep from a lack of changes, good or bad or in between. Why has my karma been deprived of all motion? Why must I go on frozen in such eerie peace and quiet? I seek your help. Can you cast a spell for me so that I will be happily disrupted and agitated? Will you predict my sorry state of stillness to be ended soon? Arvind Agnimuka, Taurus from Darjeeling.” Dear Arvind: Funny you should ask. According to my analysis, members of the Taurus tribe are about to be roused out of their plodding rhythm by a bolt of cosmic mojo. Get ready to rumble -- and I mean that in the best sense of the word.

GEMINI

May 21-June 20

I found this unusual classified ad in a small California newspaper. “Wanted: Someone to travel backwards in time with me. This is not a joke. You must be unafraid to see the person you used to be, and you’ve got to keep a wide-open mind about the past -- I mean more wideopen than you have ever been able to. I have made this trip twice before, and I don’t expect any danger, but there may be a bit of a mess. Please bring your own ‘cleaning implements,’ if you know what I mean.” As crazy as it sounds, Gemini, I’m thinking you’d be the right person for this gig. The astrological omens suggest you’ll be doing something similar to it anyway.

CANCER

June 21-July 22

Of your five senses, which is the most underdeveloped? If you’re a typical Westerner, it’s your sense of smell. You just don’t use it with the same level of acuity and interest you have when you’re seeing, hearing, tasting, and touching. You may speak excitedly about an image you saw or song you heard or food you ate or massage you experienced -- what they were like, how they made you feel -- but you rarely do that with odors. You easily tolerate an ugly building or loud traffic noise or mediocre food or itchy fabric, and yet you feel a deep aversion to an unappealing smell. Having said that, I want you to know it’s an excellent time to upgrade your olfactory involvement with the world. You’d benefit greatly from the emotional enrichment that would come from cultivating a more conscious relationship with aromas.

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

“Enlightenment is simply this,” said the Zen master. “When I walk, I walk. When I eat, I eat. When I sleep, I sleep.” If that’s true, Leo, you now have an excellent chance to achieve at least temporary enlightenment. The universe is virtually conspiring to maneuver you into situations where you can be utterly united with whatever you are doing in the present moment. You’ll be less tempted than usual to let your mind wander away from the experience at hand, but will instead relish the opportunity to commit yourself completely to the scene that’s right in front of you.

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

In August 2009, 120 scientists and their helpers staged a BioBlitz in Yellowstone National Park. Their goal was to find as many new species as they could in one day. To their surprise and delight, they located more than 1,200, including beetles, worms, lichens, and fungi that had never before been identified. An equally fertile phase of discovery could very well be imminent for you, Virgo. All you have to do is make that your intention, then become super extra double-wildly receptive.

LIBRA

August 25 – 30 Sept. 23-Oct. 22

jone sin’

by Matt Jones

“To Be Announced”--when you least expect it.

“Two dangers threaten the universe: order and disorder,” said poet Paul Valery. I think that’s especially true for you right now, although the “danger” in question is psychological in nature, not physical, and it’s a relatively manageable hazard that you shouldn’t stay up all night worrying about. Still, the looming challenge to your poise is something that requires you to activate your deeper intelligence. You really do need to figure out how to weave a middle way between the extremes of seeking too much order and allowing too much disorder. What would Goldilocks do?

SCORPIO

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

Readers of Reddit.com were asked to describe their lives in just six words. It would be a good time for you to try this exercise. You’ve reached a juncture in your destiny when you could benefit from a review that pithily sums up where you’ve been up until now, and where you’ve got to go next. To inspire your work, here are some of the most interesting from Reddit: 1. Early opportunities wasted, now attempting redemption. 2. Searching tirelessly for that one thing. 3. Living my dream requires modifying dream. 4. Must not turn into my mom. 5. Insane ambition meets debilitating selfdoubt. 6. Do you want to have sex?

Go where the drama is, Sagittarius, but not where the melodrama is. Place yourself in the path of the most interesting power, but don’t get distracted by displays of power that are dehumanizing or narcissistic. You are in a phase of your astrological cycle when you have a mandate to intensify your excitement with life and increase your ability to be deeply engaged with what attracts you. I urge you to be as brave as you once were when you conquered a big fear and to be as curious as you were when you discovered a big secret about who you are. For extra credit, be highly demonstrative in your expression of what you care about.

In his older years, after steadfastly cultivating his vices with the care of a connoisseur, the agnostic actor W. C. Fields was caught reading the Bible by an old friend. Questioned at this departure from his usual behavior, Fields said he was “looking for loopholes.” I suspect a comparable shift may be in the offing for you, Capricorn. In your case, you may be drawn to a source you’ve perpetually ignored or dismissed, or suddenly interested in a subject you’ve long considered to be irrelevant. I say, good for you. It’s an excellent time to practice opening your mind in any number of ways.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

I watched a Youtube video that showed eight people competing in a weird marathon. They ran two miles, ate 12 doughnuts, then ran another two miles. I hope you don’t try anything remotely similar to that, Aquarius. If you’re in the mood for outlandish feats and exotic adventures (which I suspect you might be), I suggest you try something more life-enhancing, like making love for an hour, eating an organic gourmet feast, then making love for another hour. It’s a good time for you to be wild, maybe even extreme, about getting the healing you need.

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20

In the out-of-print book In Portugal, A.F.G. Bell defines the Portuguese word saudade as follows: “a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present, a turning towards the past or towards the future; not an active discontent or poignant sadness, but an indolent dreaming wistfulness.” In my astrological opinion, Pisces, it is imperative that you banish as much saudade from your system as you can. If you want, you can bring it back again later, but for now, you need to clarify and refine your desires for things that are actually possible.

Stumped? Find the solutions in the Classifieds pages.

Across

1 Head of the Paris police? 5 “King” bad guy in Super Mario Bros. 10 Love, Latin-style 14 Former Israeli politician Abba ___ 15 On ___ (hot) 16 Ring around the holy? 17 Frequent activity for haberdashers? 20 Spanish national hero 21 Paving stuff 22 Quick ___ wink 23 Avenue in Oakland? 28 Make really happy 29 Town north of New York City 32 Strauss-Kahn’s former org. 35 French vacation spot 36 Prefix meaning “skin” 37 Why Haim didn’t want to party one night in the 1980s? 42 “Rolling in the Deep” singer 43 Mauna ___ (Aloha State volcano) 44 The Concorde, for one 45 “The Sound of Music” teenager 46 Soul singer Lou 48 Request from the most relaxing talk radio host ever? 54 “Licensed to ___” (Beastie Boys album) 56 Bailed out insurance giant

57 WWII hero Murphy 58 Designed for shooting gross globs? 63 “Whoa ___!” 64 Perot, formally 65 Collector’s item? 66 Sandwich shop purchases 67 “Grumpy Old Men” actor Davis 68 Like ___ of sunshine

Down

1 Little giggle 2 Virus named for a Congolese river 3 You may take a powder with them 4 Put a stop to, as with a fight 5 Kal ___ (dog food brand) 6 Nonprofit’s URL suffix 7 “What a display!” 8 River through Nebraska 9 Site for vows 10 They did theme to “The Living Daylights” 11 “Masters of the Universe” character 12 Automotive pioneer Ransom 13 Parks of civil rights fame 18 “I don’t know where ___ without it” 19 Actress Song of “The Social Network”

24 First letter of the Arabic alphabet 25 Alma mater of Tony Shalhoub 26 “Good Will Hunting” actor ___ Skarsgard 27 Jealousy, the green-___ monster 30 Brad Paisley has won a lot of them: abbr. 31 “Critique of Pure Reason” philosopher 32 Suffix after canon or class 33 Kal Penn, born Kalpen ___ (hidden in COMMODITIES) 34 Scale a mountain without gear 38 Fashion designer Schiaparelli 39 Lambaste 40 Pulls out of a parking spot? 41 Island near Java 46 Harsh conditions 47 Baseball card factoid 49 Printed piece of art, for short 50 Late NFL star and “Police Academy” actor Smith 51 Firefighter Red ___ 52 British singer/actress Black 53 Rowland of Destiny’s Child 54 Some PCs 55 Poi party 59 Vegas airport code 60 “Help!” 61 Omega preceder 62 British verb suffix

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19


August 25 - 31, 2011

the217.com

AND ANOTHER THING ...

by MICHAEL COULTER

a matter of honor Who’s most likely to die in a blaze of glory? Guys are generally sort of idiots. Sure, that’s a generalization, but it’s often painfully true. It’s a real crapshoot with what you’re going to get. Some fellas are stupid virtually all the time. Some are smart some of the time. It’s usually a mix of smart and dumb. The thing is, no guy is capable of being smart all the time. I assumed we were all just born with some sort of idiocy gene, and it turns out I’m sort of correct. New research shows that apparently men have something built in to their brains that makes them sort of stupid and sort of prone to accidents.

I don’t think any of these accidents I had were involved with honor in any way. On the other hand, I was probably too stupid to know if honor was involved, anyway. After all, I grew up in the country, and this risky behavior is more prevalent in the rural areas. In fact, accidental deaths were 19 percent higher in the rural areas of these honor states. That really just tells us something we probably knew all along: Rednecks and cowboys are very proud, intelligence-challenged and very colorful in the way they meet their demise. The researchers’ theory is that a reputation is much more important in a smaller town. That might be sort of true. In the tiny place where I grew up, everyone knew who you were, so there may have actually The researcher says that more than been a tendency to try to impress all of the townsfolk. My friends 7,000 deaths a year can be blamed on tried to make this impresrisk taking in this culture of honor. If you usually sion with car accidents and fist ask me, it probably also had a whole lot fights. From what I recall, most people were not impressed all to do with drinking too much alcohol that much, so it may be flawed logic more than any sort of honor and acting like a dipshit. code. Once again, though, drinking could have also been a culprit The researchers who did the study at the Uni- as much as anything else. The research is so busy picking on the “honversity of Oklahoma call it the “culture of honor,” and it has to do with placing a high value on de- or states” that they don’t really talk about the fending one’s honor and having this often lead Northern states all that much. I’m guessing it’s to hurting oneself very badly. I totally see what not that they don’t have honor and care about he’s talking about. I have very little honor to begin it — it’s that they see if differently. “Hey, I can with, and yet, I’ll occasionally find myself trying read well and make a good living. That’s not to defend it in some moronic way. This makes too shabby. Oh sure, it’s great to drive really sense, sort of, because I live somewhere between fast and try to swim in a gravel pit, but on the the North and South. Yeah, I know — I’m a little other hand, not dying is also real appealing. I confused, too. Let’s try it a different way. think I’ll just go ahead and try to stay alive and The research went something like this, I think: successful.” They compared accidental deaths in the U.S. It Being a sort of redneck, this survey kind of rubbed was things like car accidents, drowning, over- me the wrong way, but on the other hand, I find it exertion. They then looked at where these types really hard to argue with. My biggest sticking point of accidents took place the most and found what isn’t that people are idiots and take stupid risks. It’s they call “honor states.” These states are usually that its all based on honor in some way. From what found in the South and West part of the country. I can remember about living in a small town, a lot Anyway, these “honor states” had way higher of it was also based on boredom. There’s often just rates of accidental death than the North states. So not much to do, and a good near-death experience supposedly these “honor states” have a crap ton can really highlight the weekend. of accidents because the males there put a high So, in the end, men should put away their silly value on defending their reputation at any cost. pride, and they might live a little longer, or at Honestly, it sounds like a bunch of crap to me. the very least die in a more dignified way. On Still, the researcher says that more than 7,000 the other hand, I’ve always thought qualities deaths a year can be blamed on risk taking in this like these made us all a little more charming. culture of honor. If you ask me, it probably also It’s possible that chicks don’t fall for the bad boy had a whole lot to do with drinking too much alco- just because he’s bad. It may be because she ashol and acting like a dipshit. I think it also probably sumes the dumb bastard will quickly kill himself, has something to do with being young. There was and she can move on to sounder ground. a period of time in high school and college when I It’s tough to overcome an old saying, though. was young and drunk quite often, and let me tell Yep, boys will be boys, and something like that is you, I hurt myself on a stunningly regular basis. often not a good idea. 20

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