Buzz Magazine: Sept. 14, 2006 by Buzz Magazine

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Cover Design â&#x20AC;˘ Britttany Bindrim Editor in chief â&#x20AC;˘ Erin Scottberg Art Director â&#x20AC;˘ Brittany Bindrim Copy Chief â&#x20AC;˘ Meghan Whalen Listen, Hear â&#x20AC;˘Anna Statham Stage, Screen & in Between â&#x20AC;˘ Elyse Russo Around Town â&#x20AC;˘Tatyana Safronova CU Calendar â&#x20AC;˘ Annette Gonzalez Photography Editor â&#x20AC;˘ Austin Happel Designers â&#x20AC;˘ Hank Patton, Monica Betel, Annie Mui Calendar Coordinator â&#x20AC;˘ Brian McGovern Photography â&#x20AC;˘ Austin Happel Copy Editors â&#x20AC;˘ Sarah Goebel, Emily Ciaglia, Ilana Katz, Whitney Harris Staff Writers â&#x20AC;˘ Paul Prikazsky, Syd Slobodnik, Amy Meyer, Carlye Wisel Contributing Writers â&#x20AC;˘ Michael Coulter, Seth Fein Sales Manager â&#x20AC;˘ Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution â&#x20AC;˘ Brandi Wills Publisher â&#x20AC;˘ Mary Cory

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INTRO This Modern World â&#x20AC;˘ Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell â&#x20AC;˘ Matt Groening First Things First â&#x20AC;˘ Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN LGBT Hot Spots â&#x20AC;˘ Dylan Calewarts Community Snapshot: Carrie Peltier â&#x20AC;˘ Evangeline Politis The Local Sniff â&#x20AC;˘ Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR Pygmalion â&#x20AC;&#x2122;06 â&#x20AC;˘ Jaron Birkan CU Sound Revue â&#x20AC;˘ Mike Ingram Album reviews

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CU CALENDAR

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STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN

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TV Mania Movie reviews Video game review Hidden Gem/Guilty Pleasure Page Rage â&#x20AC;˘ Nathan Kramer Artistâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Corner: David Svensson â&#x20AC;˘ Tim Peters

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CLASSIFIEDS

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THE STINGER

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Doin it Well â&#x20AC;˘ Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Crosswords Free Will Astrology Likes and Gripes

erin scottberg EDITORâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S NOTE

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UNDER THE COVER

Cha mpa ig n and Urbana rea l ly outdo them selves when it comes to festivals: Sweet Cor n, Boneya rd, Urbanaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Beer and Chili Cook-Off, the county fairs, Ebertâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Over-Looked Film Festival, Taste of Downtown Champaign â&#x20AC;Ś and,

in case you somehow missed the bright yellow cover, thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s another festival coming to these parts: The Pygmalion. For the second year in a row, The Pygmalion Music Festival brings some of the best local and national acts to one place for a weekend of work er rocking. Actually, to seven different places for five days of rocking, dancing, relaxing or whatever your thing may be. Pretty sweet. Unlike traditional music festivals like Summer Camp (another central Illinois event put on by some of the same people) or Bonnaroo, Pygmalion isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t your typical collection of shirtless hippies in a huge field, passing bowls with strangers and - * , , . - * - dancing in the sun. Nor is it akin to Pitchfork &

' & - * - - ! or other gatherings of young and chic hipsters , + # - , - - donning tight jeans and thick-rimmed glasses, discussing their favorite authors and relaxing in , -, - +,

the shade as their all-time favorite band plays behind them. ( , , - Instead, CUâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s music fest, which is making

a name for itself across the Midwest, is a lit

tle of both and a lot of the in-between â&#x20AC;&#x201D; after all, the festival needs to satisfy the interfusion

of musical appetites created anytime you comINTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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bine downtown Urbana (The Bonnarooers), downtown Champaign (The Pitchforkers) and Campus (uh â&#x20AC;Ś the students?). Yes, Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m making gross generalizations but my point is this: thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s going to be a mishmash of sounds floating through town so youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re sure to find your old favorites and something new. After all, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not often that you get The Canopy Club and The Krannert Center to partake in the same event. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t often wander more than a few blocks away from your apartment, Pygmalion is a great change to explore uncharted territory under the guise of good music. Nothing fills a room with more energy than a good band furiously pumping their music through a full crowd. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m always surprised when a student says heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s never been to Cowboy Monkey or Highdive. Go! Get yourself the hell out of the line at Brotherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s and see what else this area has to offer. Spend the weekend barhopping through CU â&#x20AC;&#x201D; if the music gets to be too much, you can always dip into one of many non-festival drinkeries for a break. Before I go, I have to address a mistake I made last week. In an attempt to rephrase something into the fewest amount of words possible, I wrote in last weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s column about Plan B: â&#x20AC;&#x153;if an egg has already been fertilized, Plan B has no effectâ&#x20AC;? However, that was inaccurate. I should have said if an egg has already been implanted, then Plan B has no effect. This still doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t make Plan B an abortion pill. See this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Doinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; It Well (page 24) for more information and please forgive me for my mistake. sounds from the scene

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DAD LET’S ME DRIVE SLOW ON THE DRIVEWAY. BUT NOT ON MONDAY, DEFINITELY NOT ON MONDAY.

michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Katie Couric signs on; hard news down the toilet Coulter helps Couric come up with her signature sign-off.

don’t necessarily hate c u t e a n d p e r k y. I n fact, there a re t i mes I might even argue it’s warranted. Cheerleaders, cruise directors and people who portray big fluffy characters at amusement parks should always be cute and perky. It is very important to remember though, that there are certain professions where cute and perky really aren’t helping anyone. There should really be no cuteness and perkiness when it comes to dictators, administrators of prostate exams and elected officials. Actually, it’d probably be best if we tried to keep it away from news anchors as well. In case you didn’t know, last week the cute and perky Katie Couric debuted as the main anchor on the CBS Evening News. OK, right off the bat: Katie? Um, that’s the name you’re going with, huh? Perfect, that will fit right in with all the esteemed nightly newscasters who paved the way for you, guys like Eddie R. Murrow, Davey Brinkley, Walty Cronkite, and the always colorful Danny Rather. Seriously, it’s the big time now and it begs for a certain amount of decorum, so could you maybe just switch it to Kate? I mean, at least when you’re giving the news. I’m sure she just doesn’t want to screw up the name recognition and respect she earned while she was anchoring The Today Show all these years. So, whatever, she should go ahead and keep the name. She’s totally earned it and I’m sure she’ll do just fine. C’mon, showing viewers how to make a quiche in twenty minutes, interviewing Alec Baldwin and playing grab-ass with the weather guy and her co-anchor should have totally prepared here for such softball subjects as the war in Iraq, gas prices, AIDS and an inept president. It’s sort of like Carrot Top doing Shakespeare in the Park. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying any of this because she happens to be a woman. Judy Woodruff would make a fine anchor and I’d be perfectly fine with Diane Sawyer or a pre-View Barbara Walters. You know why? Because they’ve actually earned it. They’ve covered hard news and they deserve the respect that they get. The country has never been concerned with who they are dating now and I’m fairly certain the National Enquirer has never published a picture of them in their bathing suits. They never ran around wondering where Matt Lauer was pretending it was news. They are basically professionals. Well, that professional thing comes into play in case you didn’t see her first broadcast. She began by saying, “Hi everyone, I’m very happy to be with you tonight.” Really? Um, who the

fuck cares? I was never once concerned with the mood of Peter Jennings and I don’t recall him ever starting a newscast by saying. “What’s up, I feel pretty good tonight. Who’s ready to party?” She would have been better off going with something like “I feel super great this evening ... even though the world’s turning into a big ball of turd! Yuck.” Even during her beginning tease of upcoming stories she couldn’t help but mention that later on in the show her viewers would be treated to seeing the first ever picture of Suri Cruise. Holy crap, I thought, is this Entertainment Tonight? Did the channel suddenly switch on it’s own? For shitsake, didn’t this used to be the one half hour a day where we focused on important things? I don’t know, I suppose some of the segments were longer than usual, but I really didn’t see all that much depth to any of them. It was just basically filler in an attempt to make it seem more important. Towards the end, there was a lovely feature where the director of “Super Size Me,” Morgan Spurlock, gave a little commentary. I’ve got nothing against that guy, but I’m also sort of unclear about why he was on. Apparently, Rush Limbaugh was supposed to do a commentary later in the week. Wow, way to raise the bar. I’m glad I won’t be there to see it. I’m not quite sure what I’m so pissy about. Looking back, it wasn’t that bad of a show — it just wasn’t news. Appropriately enough, it’s like that line Albert Brooks had in Broadcast News about how the devil takes over. He doesn’t scare anyone. He’s just handsome and entertaining and he slowly degrades everything until it’s a piece of crap. “What do you think — the devil’s going to look like if he’s around? C’mon, no one’s going to be taken in by a guy with a long, red, pointy tail! He will be attractive. He’ll be nice and helpful. He’ll get a job where he influences a great, God-fearing nation. He’ll never do an evil thing. He’ll never deliberately hurt a living thing. He’ll just, bit by little bit, lower our standards where they’re important ... Just coax along flash over substance. Just a tiny little bit.” Wow, just like you, Katie! At the end of her broadcast, Katie encouraged viewers to help her come up with a new slogan to end her newscasts with. Her predecessor, Dan Rather, used to simply say “Courage.” I sort of hated that, but he couldn’t have said what he really meant, “Courage ... because this place is going to the fucking dogs.” I haven’t written in to Katie yet, but I think I’ve found a perfect little closing phrase to end her little show with each night. “I’m Katie Couric, have a crazy-fun fantastic evening and don’t forget, seriously, I’m really part of the problem.”

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

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buzz weekly •

DAD LET’S ME DRIVE SLOW ON THE DRIVEWAY. BUT NOT ON MONDAY, DEFINITELY NOT ON MONDAY.

michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Katie Couric signs on; hard news down the toilet Coulter helps Couric come up with her signature sign-off.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

sounds from the scene

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around town

AN INDISCERNIBLE DIFFERENCE DYLAN CALEWARTS • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

hampaign County has one of the highest densities of same-sex couples in the state, and the influence of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community on the cities of Champaign and Urbana is unmistakable. Here, we take a look at three places where the LGBT community parties, gathers and worships. (Statistic from the 2000 Census). CLUBBING There is a large brick building on Chester Street that has had many roles throughout its existence. Since its construction in 1825, it has been revamped and refurnished dozens of times and has contained “everything under the sun,” according to Diane Bennett, current assistant manager of Chester Street Dance Club. A stable, a morgue and a variety of other businesses have resided inside previously. Chester Street Dance Club, enduring for over thirty years in this building now, is an infallibly ambiguous establishment, a gay-owned and operated night spot that does not exclusively cater to the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community of Champaign-Urbana. Akin to the building’s multi-faceted past uses, the dance club’s clientele is exceedingly diverse. “On a typical weekend night,” Bennett says, “we can get in 300 people easily, sometimes up to 500-plus. Straight and gay couples come to dance together. Moms come to watch the drag shows. We hosted one hundred parties in 2005 each with attendees of all sexual orientations ... We do not exclude anyone.” She believes firmly that the reason for Chester Street’s success is the club’s warmth and acceptance of all people. Individuals booking parties are all made aware of the nature of the club when they are made to sign a contract; no derogatory remarks towards anyone, LGBT or not, of any nature are tolerated. Bennett says that a person was thrown out of the club when he insulted a heterosexual fraternity member. Fraternities and sororities are frequent clients of the club, Bennett says, and many of the partiers stay late into the night just to talk with the employees. “They love our staff,” Bennett said, “and they are comfortable here. Usually new frats and sororities will book two or three more parties that same year when they have a good first experience.” And even the events specifically aimed at the LGBT community include a manifold attendance. Chester Street hosted its first gay prom in July. Approximately 100 out of the 400 people present were straight, Bennett said, and a heterosexual couple was crowned King and Queen. Similarly, the staff at Chester Street is non-exclusive. Four out of the twelve staff members are straight, including Dave, Bennett says, who has been bartending at the club for eight years and is a favorite among customers. Chester Street appears to attract such a broad range of customers with its decadence. Right now, a lot of construction is being done to improve the dancing environment. A brand new dance floor is being installed, and new lights, a two-year-old sound system, a 128-inch video screen that plays music videos, a 500-person capacity, a gigantic disco ball and DJs who alternate between techno remixes, hip-hop and Top 40 songs all beget a vivid setting for a vibrant dance club. Chester Street’s inclusiveness even extends to its organizational policies. The club has been offered $10,000 to host a private party and turned down the money, Bennett said, to avoiding turning away the public in the process. Next year on January 31, when Chester Street will be required to ban smoking, it will still have a beer garden outside where patrons can enjoy their cigarettes and still hear the pulsating beats from the outdoor speakers. INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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“They love our staff,” Bennett said, “and they are comfortable here. Usually new frats and sororities will book two or three more parties that same year when they have a good first experience.” - Diane Bennett, Chester Street Assistant Manager

Brittany Wilkin, sophomore in architecture and U of I alum Dan Razin chat and dance at Chester Street Dance Club on Saturday night, Sept. 9, 2006. While the club welcomes various types of performances — in the past, comedy, poetry, and vocal acts have appeared on stage — the main attraction is still the drag show. Amateurs flounce and flaunt on the first weekend of every month; a group of drag queens who call themselves “The Young and the Restless” showcase their talents on the second; entertainment from Chicago, St. Louis, and other major neighboring cities is illuminated on the third; and the drag kings, usually female performers who dress in masculine costumes, show off on the fourth. The array of performances is representative of the club’s multiplicity. Bennett says that staff and customers together like to talk about pressing concerns on the silent nights, on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Bennet explains her own view of the LGBT community: “We will get there eventually, but we should not cram our views down anyone’s throats. The more we pigeonhole ourselves, the more narrow-minded the rest of the world will IN

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be.” Certainly, she says, the community has changed since she was ridiculed for being gay at The Bar – a bar that used to operate out of the same building where Chester Street is now located. UNIVERSITY The non-profit Rainbow Coffee House, located inside Etc. on the corner of Green Street and Goodwin Avenue, is a relaxed place to savor a coffee, lemonade or other drinks and sweets. “We originally needed somewhere safe for the LGBT community to go where alcohol was not present,” explained Curt McKay, president of the Office of LGBT Concerns at the University of Illinois. “When we started the Rainbow Coffee House, there were no real hang-outs (for the LGBT community).” The coffeehouse has become a place to meet, to talk and to study. People can be found doing chemistry homework, talking about sounds from the scene

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civil rights issues, doing crossword puzzles and playing board games. Free literature — from pamphlets about interpreting the Bible to liberal newspapers — is available, and friendly volunteers handle the purchases and chat with the customers. Right now, the Rainbow Coffee House is open only from 6:30 to 9:00 on Tuesday nights. But McKay would like that to change. Until 2005, the Office for LGBT Concerns was only open twenty hours a week in a shared space. Now, Room 323 in the Illini Union has become a resource center for all questions LGBT. Since the office itself was able to expand, McKay is working on plans for an entire building dedicated to a constant Rainbow Coffee House, a coffee shop with a calm atmosphere for unwinding. McKay stresses the importance of involvement for anyone who respects the LGBT community. Activist members of the Office of LGBT Concerns helped fight for domestic partnerships in 2005 by going straight to the administration. They presented enough evidence to sway the University to grant the ability to obtain a full domestic partnership for anyone employed there, giving gay and lesbian unions of one or more staff members many rights, including offering both partners the same health insurance plan. McKay recalls an incident when, sparked by a disagreement between the University and an employee, the Office of LGBT Concerns took it upon itself to assure that policies under the new domestic partnership clause set forth by the University were implemented. McKay says the University employee believed that the new policies would have allowed her to take bereavement leave to attend the funeral of her partner’s mother, but instead found

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KIDS WITH KIDNEY STONES GIVING BIRTH TO BLOODY STEREOS.

out that her absences were unexcused. “Through our activism, we like to show the straight world that we are what they are,” McKay states. “They are welcome to our community.” FAITH For many people, however, there is something greater than spending leisure time dancing, going to coffee shops or being an active community member; there is religion. The members of the LGBT community who embrace their faith have somewhere to thrive at McKinley Presbyterian Church — the “place to go for those f leeing conservative traditions,” according to Christina Whitted. Whitted had a very religious background and joined InterVarsity Christian Fellowship, an interdenominational Christian organization for college students, when she was still an undergraduate student at Valparaiso University in Indiana. But she left the organization after a fellow member told her to kill herself because of her sexual orientation. Now in Champaign, Whitted holds two graduate degrees from the University of Illinois and is an active member in the McKinley Presbyterian Church. She is the chairperson of the church’s More Light committee, which is comprised of church members who want people of all sexual orientations to feel welcome at McKinley. More Light Presbyterians are members of the Presbyterian Church who believe that scripture has an ever-evolving meaning, which includes acceptance of the LGBT community. “Members of the LGBT community who have been hurt by their church come to McKinley to heal,” Whitted says. Approximately 35 percent of

the congregation at a McKinley service is made up of people from the LGBT community. Whitted, with her personal experience to fuel her desire, wants to reach out to more college students at the University who feel that no church will accept them because of their orientation. “Anyone who attends a McKinley service is immediately welcomed without judgment,” she says. The More Light Committee puts on its own services at McKinley. Every year, it has one in November and one in June to coincide with National Coming Out Day and Gay Pride Month, respectively. At these services, pastor Heidi Weatherford gives progressive sermons, and members of the congregation are invited to openly speak about their own experiences of being both LGBT and full of faith. A local lesbian-feminist chorus, Anasong, sings at these More Light-programmed services. Even the architecture at McKinley is inviting. “The ‘Inclusiveness Window’ is a source of great pride and wonderful inspiration to all of us,” Whitted said. This window, intricately crafted and vibrantly colored, has many symbols which represent how different groups are welcome at McKinley. There are pink triangles to represent the LGBT community. There are different-colored hands locked together to represent all races and their interplaying bonds. There are traditional symbols, like nature images, to represent the traditional community. There are scientific symbols to represent the academia and the University’s ties with the church. “The LGBT com mun it y is just one of many at this church,” Whitted said. “We are multi-faceted.” buzz

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A large crowd dances to the sounds of DJ Michael at the Chester Street Dance Club on Saturday night, Sept. 9, 2006.

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I WANT PEOPLE TO CALL ME FREDDY KNUCKLES...BUT PEOPLE KEEP CALLING ME RIGHT SAID FRED.

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COMMUNITY

snapshot WITH

CARRIE PELTIER

EVANGELINE POLITIS • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

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said that the court system doesn’t provide qualified or trained interpreters for the suspects, and those who do translate rarely understand the legal system. “I feel terrible for them that they are experiencing the system without knowing what is going on,” worries Peltier about the non-English speakers. “I think everyone with basic rights should be able to understand what the system is, what your rights are and what is going on. I don’t think right now we are meeting the needs of Spanish speakers in court.” Peltier said there is also a major cultural schism between the understanding and respect of government between the United States and many Spanish-speaking countries. In Mexico, she said, most people can simply pay off fines and be set free, or they may even completely ignore the case and it will disappear. After paying their fines these clients believe that their records will be wiped clean, explained Peltier. “Nobody in Mex ico t r ust s the gover nment, therefore they don’t take anything seriously,” she added. Consequent ly, Pelt ier sa id, many Spanish-speaking immigrants don’t have the facilities to understand the legal system and terminology. Through the many obstacles in her career Peltier has remained loyal to her goal of bettering the community, but the uncertainty of her career path has lead Peltier to attempt to balance her time between her work and her personal life. Her typical day begins when she gets to work at 8 a.m. and then finally leaves at 6 p.m. She also spends the majority of her weekends in bond court. After Peltier’s husband made the decision to get a master’s degree in railroad engineering at the University of Illinois, the couple moved to their present residence i n Cha mpa ig n. Peltier has no plans for children in the future because to her it seems near impossible with her busy schedule. Depending on her husband’s career, she hopes to one day end up in Chicago or back in Boston. With the stereotyping, an unfair legal system and the long hours, Peltier said that public defending isn’t the career for most people. “You wouldn’t last very long in this profession if it wasn’t something that you love to do,” described Peltier. “That’s Carrie Peltier stands in front of the Champaign county courtwhy I am still doing it.” house Monday afternoon, Sept. 11, 2006.

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ublic defenders do the peculiar job of working for the government and at the same time defending their clients against it. Many people see them as “public pretenders,” Carrie Peltier said, but the Champaign County public defender brings an admirable light to the profession. Since she began working as a social worker at the Casa Central social service agency in Humboldt Park, a largely Hispanic neighborhood in Chicago, she knew that she wanted to help those in need in her community. Her focus narrowed on Hispanic populations after she spent time in Mexico City during her undergraduate work at Middlebury College in Vermont. Her time abroad led her to understand what it is like to be a minority. “I feel as though I can relate to their [the Hispanic immigrants’] situation after being in Mexico where I was the racial minority,” said Peltier. “Though I know it is still completely different for them because being a white person is held on the highest pedestal anywhere.” Peltier spent most of her life in South Bend, Ind. until she decided to study political science at Middlebury. After working at the Casa Central in Chicago, she decided to move to Boston where she did welfare work in another Hispanic community. “What I began to figure out was that I was most interested in my clients’ cases, but then I had to hand them off to the lawyers,” said Peltier. This motive prompted her to go to law school at Northeastern University in Boston, where she found her concentration in criminal law after interning at the Federal Defender’s office. “It was there that I met probably the most brilliant attorneys I ever had the opportunity to work with,” explained Peltier. “It was the exact opposite of the stereotype of a public defender; you couldn’t even pay for such amazing lawyers.” Working as a prosecutor in Boston and later moving to Champaign, Peltier said she has had to overcome stigmas of being both white and female in the legal system. She said she has been stereotyped by many of her clients who believe that she can’t relate to their lives and current situations. “They think that I don’t have the same experiences as them,” Peltier said, “therefore I can’t understand.” She said many of the older and tougher men, who are usually non-Hispanic, view her with a condescending attitude. On the other hand, her Hispanic clients respect her because of her education, Peltier said. But she keeps her ground. Peltier explained that she tries to keep a position of strength; she described herself as being “a little tough” and “definitely not soft spoken” when dealing with clients who try to take advantage of her gender and race. But Peltier also finds it difficult to work within a system that doesn’t help non-English speakers. She

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KILLER PARTIES ALMOST KILLED ME!

seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

Sniffer remembers 9/11; edges to the right Jonny Chemical catches wind; rocks townâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s socks off.

FIRST SNIFF anita Willis, the principal of Carrie Busey Elementary School, returned my phone call in regards to a one Col. Mike Rudzinski just after my deadline last week. She did not evade me in any way. In fact, we had quite a lovely conversation that lasted much longer than Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d expected and hit on topics that were more relevant and less controversial than what I initially had assumed that we would. In short, Jan Kruse of AWARE overreacted, again, without seeking both sides of the story. Unfortunately for me, I was lured in by the possibility of a serious injustice to report on. I am glad I took the time to seek out answers from both the person who authorized this appearance and from a parent who sends their child to the school and was there to witness the Colonelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s appearance.

UNCLE SAM HAS A SOFT SIDE TOO... I decided not to get Col. Rudzinskiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perspective on why he spoke to the children because I was worried heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d send me right back to thinking he should have never been there in the first place. Instead, I spoke with a parent who said the same thing Principal Willis did: Col. Rudzinski was there to do nothing more than help relay some of the basic parts of building good character to the children. I am not a big fan of the military, but certainly, most soldiers understand how to develop character under pressure. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face it, just for a moment. We are a nation at war. We might not agree with it and we may not even choose to acknowledge it, but we sure have to accept it. And because of this, I find it suitable to have an officer of the military come into the classroom to help teach these children what it means to be growing up in the United States of America â&#x20AC;&#x201D; as long as it coincides with visits from other people with different perspectives on how to build character. For t unately for the st udent s at Ca r r ie Busey, Principal Willis has nothing less than just that planned. Ms. Willis has also invited other respected individuals in positions of some authority to speak with the children including Dr. William Patterson, a professor of AfricanAmerican Studies at The University of Illinois. Here is a man who teaches courses on hip-hop artists like KRS-One as a means of dissecting the single most influential art form of this generation, and perhaps, of many generations to come. I cannot say for sure what his take on character will be, I do think it will be very different than that of the Colonelâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s, at least in my opinion. The role of an educator is to provide their pupils with a plethora of very diverse perspectives in order to allow them to clearly understand and recognize all their options when forming opinions on matters both moral and ethical. Hearing from a military officer only gives those students more in terms sounds from the scene

of learning to understand how people think what and why. So, for those of you who really want to know more about this, please feel free to e-mail me. I, for one, need to apologize for taking an alarmist standpoint and not looking to the facts first. 9/11 REMEMBERED IN DIFFERENT WAYS I went to see 9/11: Press for Truth this weekend with some of my best friends and Justine. We went in feeling good and came out feeling depressed. The bottom line is this: this government is up to some serious bush league ass shit. Whether you want to believe that Bush and his cronies helped plan the attacks himself or whether he is just so fucking stupid that he truly â&#x20AC;&#x153;didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see it comingâ&#x20AC;?, this is a man who has failed us repeatedly, time and time again. For those of you who are still in support of this nutter-butter, I have a simple thing to say to you: open your eyes and ears. Not just for yourself, but for all of humanity. Lord knows we need everyone to step to the plate right now and demand better. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think that impeachment is really out of the question, do you?

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BUSINESS OF THE WEEK! Just a quick one, because space is growing thin. Texas Roadhouse. This place is better than you think! The service manager, Chris, was about as accommodating as it can get and the food was fantastic and reasonably priced. I am not a big fan of chain restaurants, but the service and attention to customer satisfaction was worth my giving it some ink. So there. GUITARIST OF THE WEEK ER... YEAR... ER...DECADE Usually, I pick a show you should seek out and pay the cover to see. This week, I am simply going to state something I have meaning to mention for some time: Jonny Chemical of Tractor Kings and The Chemicals is the best pure guitarist this town currently has. In the local indie scene at least. Thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no disrespect to some of the other badasses, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s just that, well, he is amazing. I highly recommend those two bands to you at all times. He makes them glow. FINAL WHIFF I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t think I have enough space left in my column to say what I want or to get into all the feelings I had about 9/11. However, I did discover this: No matter the tragedy, the hurt, the pain or the disgrace, America finds a way to profit from it. Our morals are shot up as bad as Baghdad. Would like to go further but ... this is the end of my word count and it seems like I could go on for ... Seth Fein is from Urbana. He once dressed up like Albert Einstein when he was on mushrooms, went to school smelling like ass and in front of the whole class, spoke about the virtues of forgiveness and that British dish, Shepherdâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Pie. He can be reached at sethfein1@gmail.com.

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two towns. five days. dozens of bands.

It’s Pygmalion!

ANNIE MUI • ILLUSTRATION

JARON BIRKAN • STAFF WRITER | ADDITIONAL REPORTING: CARLYE WISEL, STAN MCCONNELL, DYLAN CALEWARTS, KATIE HEIKA, IMRAN SIDDIQUEE, ERIN EISELE, PHIL COLLINS, BRIAN MCGOVERN, CAITLIN CREMER, LIZ HUTNIK, ANDY GLAYSHER, BONNIE STIERNBERG, AND JEFF MONTGOMERY

iding in on the wake of a music festival-packed summer featuring over fifty bands of both local and national renown, this year’s fest is (many of which you probably missed because of a quasi-Bonnaroo. The CU community has more musical talent than stalks of obscure locations and expensive passes), is Champaign- corn, so why not celebrate this achievement with a kick-ass lineup of concert Urbana’s very own Pygmalion Music Festival. Spread

after concert after concert? Hosting the event are seven venues spread across

over four days from September 20 to September 24 and town, which to coordinator Seth Fein, is part of the festival’s appeal.

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“The idea is that people act like super duper patrons to the bars that weekend as a thanks for hosting Pygmalion for us. And, with Krannert Center as a partner, we really feel like we have run the gamut in terms of presentation and diversity of venues,” said Fein (who’s also a buzz columnist). Pygmalion Music Festival celebrates the fact that Champaign-Urbana has made a lot more musical advances than birthing REO Speedwagon. Flittering around the Canopy Club and Cowboy Monkey, etc. these days are plenty of artists on the verge, waiting for their Pitchfork review to set them off, as well as plenty of artists already well on their way. For Fein, now is the moment to unveil the talent behind the curtain. “We have such a storied history and such a fantastic present that it only makes sense that someone goes out of their way to wake up the rest of the nation to all the great bands that CU has to offer.” He has certainly found some showcases. Champaign’s own diamond in the rough, Headlights, are well on their way to indie fame and fortune with their recent album Kill Them With Kindess, which has received glowing reviews nationwide. Their girl-boy-boy line-up allows for a nice contrast — loose, feedback-driven guitars with lead singer Erin Fein’s sweet alto. More established artists like former Pedro The Lion singer David Bazan and Georgia new waver’s of Montreal are also slotted to play. Also, blogger favorites Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin will bring people in early to the Saturday headlining show at the Canopy Club. However, the focus here is clearly on the local. Many have existed in various configurations for years, and exposure like this (“We have people coming from places as far away as Texas and Massachusetts for the weekend,” says Fein) could only help them grow beyond the environs of Myspace and launch them into national notoriety. buzz sounds from the scene

Have you ever wondered what Jay-Z dry humping the dead corpse of Bedhead would sound like? Well there’s no need to wonder any longer because Seattle native David Bazan will be playing at the Krannert Center for Performing Arts as a part of Pygmalion. Come prepared for a few dirty jokes as well as a ton of songs, both new and old.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF WWW.2006.PYYGMALONMUSICFESTIVAL.COM

Canopy Club ($10/$12) Elf Power – 12:00 a.m. Geoff Reacher – 11:00 p.m. Mad Science Fair – 10:00 p.m. Dress Code – 9:00 p.m.

;Xp *1 =I@;8P# J<GK% ))

Danielson, from Clarksboro, New Jersey, is a group of family and friends making fun indie rock. Expect them to play plenty from their new album, Ships, at the Krannert Center on Sept. 22 at 8:30 p.m.

;Xp )1 K?LIJ;8P# J<GK% )( CANOPY CLUB ($10/$12) Murder By Death – 12:45 a.m. Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s – 11:50 a.m. Shipwreck – 11:00 p.m. Low Skies – 10:10 p.m. Metal Hearts – 9:20 p.m. Unwed Sailor – 8:30 p.m. Sam Lowry – 8:00 p.m. COWBOY MONKEY ($5) Scurvine – 1:00 a.m. Triple Whip – 12:10 a.m. Ghost in Light – 11:20 p.m. Exit Clov – 10:30 p.m. Darrin Drda – 9:45 p.m. CoCo Coca – 9:00 p.m.

Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s is an eight-piece band hailing from Indianapolis. Their debut album, The Dust of Retreat, is a twelve-song collection of bittersweet guitar songs delving into the lyrical themes of drug use, infidelity, longing and regret.

KRANNERT CENTER ($15/$18) Danielson – 8:30 p.m. David Bazan – 7:30 p.m. CANOPY CLUB ($10/$12) Man Man – 12:30 a.m. The Life and Times – 11:30 p.m. Canada – 10:40 p.m. The Living Blue – 9:50 p.m. Watery Domestic – 9:00 p.m. MIKE N MOLLY’S ($5) The Beauty Shop – 12:30 a.m. Brighton, MA – 11:30 p.m. The Chemicals – 10:30 p.m. Caleb Engstrom – 9:30 p.m. COWBOY MONKEY ($7) Howling Hex – 1:00 a.m. elsinore – 12:00 a.m. Gentlemen Auction House – 11:00p.m. Darling Disarm – 10:00 p.m. THE IRON POST ($7) The City on Film – 12:00 a.m. The Reputation – 11:00 p.m. fi refl ies – 10:15 p.m. Monte Carlos – 9:30 p.m.

Philadelphia based quartet Man Man bring their enigmatic brand of indie-ness to Canopy Club Sept. 22 at 12:30 a.m. Beefheart, Zappa, and Waits comparisons are often thrown on this band whose self-described “fiery, super super fiery” live show is among the strangest and most compelling in indie music. SEE LINEUP PG. 10

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AND IT’S RATHER DARK IN HERE.

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;Xp ,1 JLE;8P# J<GK% )+ THE IRON POST (FREE!) Water Between Continents – 11:00 p.m. Casey Dienel – 10:00 p.m. SURPRISE GUESTS ALL NIGHT!

;Xp +1 J8KLI;8P# J<GK% )* THE HIGHDIVE ($8/$10) Salaryman – 9:15 p.m. Bailey – 8:30 p.m. CANOPY CLUB ($15/$17) Of Montreal – 12:00 a.m. Headlights – 11:00 p.m. Owen – 10:00 p.m. Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin – 9:00 p.m. COWBOY MONKEY ($7) Lorenzo Goetz – 1:00 a.m. Probably Vampires – 12:00 a.m. Weird Weeds – 11:00 p.m. Pulsar47 – 10:00 p.m. MIKE N MOLLY’S ($5) Tractor Kings – 12:30 a.m. Rusty Pipes – 11:30 p.m. New Ruins – 10:30 p.m. Bellcaster – 9:30 p.m. THE IRON POST ($7) The Wandering Sons – 12:00 a.m. Elanors – 11:00 p.m. Judah Johnson – 10:00 p.m. Ellestel – 9:00 p.m. COURTYARD CAFE ($6) Lynn O’Brien – 10:00 p.m. The Bowmans – 9:00 p.m. Casados – 8:00 p.m. Christopher Berhard – 7:00 p.m.

Pygmalion highlights ELSINORE Hometown: Charleston, IL Sounds like: A mix between Ben Folds and the Shins Venue: Cowboy Monkey, 12 a.m. Sept. 22 What to expect: Laid back, but still incredibly groove-able. OF MONTREAL Hometown: Athens, GA Sounds like: The Beatles on an intense sugar high Venue: Catch them headlining the Sept. 23 Canopy Club show at midnight, after SSLYBY, Owen, and Headlights’ sets What to expect: Plan on frolic-dancing your ass off — their music is too happily-high-energy to just stand there and listen.

Salaryman is an all-instrumental electronic rock band who calls Champaign their home. Set to play at The Highdive on Sept. 23 at 9:15 p.m., Salaryman’s sound can be compared to The Future’s Past and cites Kraftwork, Joe Meek, and Booker T and the MG’s as their musical influences.

THE LIVING BLUE Hometown: Champaign, IL Sounds like: A blended mix of late-70s punk, 80s alternative,and touches of post-punk and garage revivalism Venue: The Canopy Club, Sept. 22 at 9:50 p.m. What to expect: An intense and passionate live show. THE LIFE AND TIMES Hometown: Kansas City, MO Sounds like: U2-inspired indie rock Venue: The Canopy Club, 11:30 p.m. on Sept. 22. What To Expect: A high-octane show. The Life and Times,led by singer and guitarist Allen Epleys (formerly of Shiner), boast an arena-ready sound thanks to their driving chords and the powerful drumming of Chris Metcalf. The band garnered praise after they opened for Sparta earlier this year, and chances are they won’t disappoint at Pygmalion. ADMISSION: Four-day passes in the form of wristbands can be purchased in advance for $35 until Tuesday, Sept. 19 and for $40 starting on Wednesday, Sept. 20. For more information, check out www.2006.pygmalionmusicfestival.com.

“Party music for people who think too much” is what you can expect from Lorenzo Goetz. Champaign’s very own indie-sounding Sublime. Check them out at the Cowboy Monkey on Sept. 23 at 1 a.m.

Headlights, the Champaign-based indie pop trio, are reminiscent of The Postal Service via lush female vocals. They are playing at the Canopy Club Sept. 23 at 11 p.m.

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VENUE INFORMATION: Courtyard Cafe: 1401 W Green St., Urbana Cowboy Monkey: 6 E. Taylor St., Champaign Krannert Center for the Performing Arts: 500 S. Goodwin, Urbana Mike N Molly’s: 110 S. Market St., Champaign The Canopy Club: 708 S. Goodwin, Urbana The Highdive: 51 E. Main St., Champaign The Iron Post: 120 S. Race St., Urbana

sounds from the scene

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Stride still off somewhere in distance

he Bastard Sons of Johnny Cash were at Cowboy Monkey last T hu r s d ay a nd were phenomenal. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a shame that there werenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t more people there to see them, but those who did attend seemed completely wrapped up in the show. If you catch their name being promoted again, be sure to go to the show. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a perfect blend of rootsy-Americana, old school country and a little rockabilly â&#x20AC;&#x201D; plus their guitar player has outstanding tone on that Tele. Tonight Tally Hall will make their triumphant return to Cowboy Monkey. Last spring they made Champaign a stop on their month-long residency tour, and gained many local fans by putting on solid shows with tons of harmonies, shirts and ties, kazoos, catchy originals and Biz Markie covers. Since their last show in town, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve toured extensively, had songs on shows like The OC and The Real World, and appeared on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Check out myspace.com/tallyhallcom for song samples. Also, be sure to get there early to catch local favorites Stella Polaris in addition to Chicago-based NYCOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s first show with Anthony Gravino. You might remember Anthony from local band Temple of Low Men (one of my favorite bands of all-time). Showtime is 9:30 p.m., and the cover is only $7.

For those unfamiliar with the phenomenon that is the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, a little background: A touring family made up of dad ( Jason, on guitars/vocals), mom (Tina, on slides), and daughter (Rachel, on drums/bass), the Trachtenburgs write and perform songs based on slide collections that theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve picked up at thrift stores, estate sales and anywhere else one might find slides for sale. And for these guys itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the stranger, the better. Sound interesting? Well, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a blast. You can see these guys right here in town tomorrow night (Friday, Sept. 15) at the Highdive. Showtime is 7:30 p.m., and tickets are $12. Trust me when I say itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worth it. Got some old slides sitting around? Take them in to donate. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m betting that having a song written about you on a Christmas morning sporting Smurfs pajamas would be pretty awesome. Furthermore, the earliness of this show leaves plenty of time for you to get over to the Vertebratsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; reunion show at the Iron Post! The Vertebrats are often named when those who know anything about the CU music scene start talking about the best of the best. During the very late â&#x20AC;&#x2122;70s and early â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s, they reigned supreme regionally, writing songs that would eventually be covered by the Replacements and Uncle Tupelo. Their local legend is huge, and with good reason. What should that mean to you? Well, it means that you might want to check them out this weekend as

they play two reunion shows at the Iron Post. At 9 them all out by heading to myspace.com and runp.m. on both Friday, Sept. 15 and Saturday, Sept. ning a search. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t pretend like you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have 16, the Brats will rock Urbana. Advance tickets are a Myspace page. Tickets for this show are $10 in available at the Iron Post for $10. The price will bump advance, and $12 at the door. Tune in to 107.1 WPGU on Sunday night at to $12 at the door, assuming there are any tickets left. Also, as part of some sort of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Reunion Week 9 p.m. to catch Super Fun Sundays with Satanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s 2006â&#x20AC;? thing, the Didjits will have a reunion show Beer Vomit, as scene-supporting DJ Travis on Saturday at the Highdive at 8 p.m., with tickets Wayne Hurt invites several local musicians in to xxxx xxxxx xxxxx x " # $ at $10. Not wanting to miss the opportunity of cap- play childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s songs on the air. No, seriously. $" ( Speaking of radio appearances â&#x20AC;&#x201D; elsinore italizing on the reunion craze, Nate Jones (of local " ! ( on this weekâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s WEFTxx/xx Sessions. Every funkmasters Brother Embassy) made several calls to will appear "

xx/xx Monday night at 10 p.m. on 90.1, you can catch his old madrigals group. No calls were returned. '

live, in-studio music performed by a If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in the mood for something a little more an hour of quiet on Saturday, the Canopy Club is the place to local band. If youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in the area of the station (113 be. Headliner (and Charleston native) Charlotte N. Market, next to Mike N Mollyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in downtown Martin will be making her second CU appearance Champaign), you can swing on in to be part of within the last year, this time bringing a drummer the studio audience. It may be a little cramped along for the ride. Writing catchy piano pop tunes this week, but in that good, sexy way. with excellent melodies, Charlotte has been picking up fanatical fans and critical praise over the last sev- Mike Ingram wants to be your Myspace friend, so eral years while touring the nation and recording long as youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re not one of those people who leaves with a major label. It also doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hurt to be married flashing pictures that say things like â&#x20AC;&#x153;have a great to Ken Andrews (Failure, Year of the Rabbit), who weekend!!!â&#x20AC;? in his comments. He likes the smell of deftly produces her albums. On tour opening for cut grass and is terrible with names. He is a local Charlotte is ABC Network-favorite songwriter Joe musician and booking agent, and is also the local Purdy, who in the last two years has found his songs music director at WEFT, where he books WEFT on shows like Lost and Greyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Anatomy. Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll likely Sessions. But he doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t host it unless Todd is out recognize â&#x20AC;&#x153;Wash Awayâ&#x20AC;? right off the bat. Also on of town â&#x20AC;&#x201D; never when Todd is in town. Contact the bill is Madison, WI band The Buffali â&#x20AC;&#x201D; an him with show news or to talk about hats with preindie-pop duo with male/female vocals. Check frayed brims at forgottenwords@gmail.com

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Are You keen on Keane and Co.?

CARLYE WISEL AND BRIAN MCGOVERN • STAFF WRITERS

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Coldplay, in all its naming-a-baby-Apple glory, has certainly done a lot in their relatively short career. From becoming a critics’ darling after their debut Parachutes, to reaching U2-like stardom with X&Y, they’ve certainly covered the bases. Now, in addition, they have birthed a whole new movement in pop music. Simple piano work mixed with dramatic instrumentation and vocals, the Coldplay trademark sound is being duplicated furiously. Keane, with its second album recently released, is on the forefront of this new genre. The Fray and Snow Patrol work the same angle, and even established bands like Deathcab for Cutie have most recently moved in the Coldplay direction. Is this move towards the over-melancholy/vaguely uplifting sound good for popular music or is it damaging the already dilapidated mess that is radio rock? Are you keen on Keane and Co.?

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Carlye: Yes, ma’am. While on my pathetically short lunch break during Panhellenic Orientation this weekend (Yes, I’m in a sorority. Yes, I actually love living with 75 girls under one roof. And no, we don’t have pillow fights in bras and thongs.), I went with a couple of girls to grab food at Za’s. While leaving, I heard the beginnings of a random song playing, and could only think, “Ahh, I love this song! What’s the name of this!?” After faintly hearing the phrase “Everyone knows I’m in over my head, over my head...” in the distance, I was completely shocked and quite appalled. I have no problem admitting that I’m quite conceited with my musical tastes, and the fact that I was subconsciously drawn into one of The Fray’s songs made me sick. However, after coming home to write this column, I realized how goddamn ridiculous I was being.

This new genre of I-love-my-feelings literock is awesome. It’s about time that artists capitalized on music you can cr y to, sleep to, or even cry-yourself-to-sleep to. We all have listened to Coldplay, even as background music, but we’re all way too pretentious to admit it. I’m not ashamed that I like this new and improved version of elevator music, and you shouldn’t be either. Hell, at least its better than Country. Brian: No, Sir! These bands make music for the purpose of being played in the background when Sophia Bush is emotionally tormented on an episode of One Tree Hill. A droning organ and repetitive piano melody is countered by a U2/arena rock distorted guitar with a rhythm fast enough to keep the label “ballad” away but slow enough to keep it boring. Despite the awkward Sufjan Stevens reference in Snow Patrol’s “Hands Open,” most of the Coldplay babies, like Daddy C., write lyrics more general than President Bush’s answers at a press conference. I think this is the worst direction for pop music to be moving towards. I would prefer, hear t wrenching ly, Pete Wentz’s Screamo-poppers to rule the airwaves over Coldplay’s musical offsprings. Pop music shouldn’t be so serious. I don’t want to listen to songs used in The Lake House trailer on the radio. Each song The Fray comes out with is an attempt to be the song of a generation. In trying to attain massive meaning, these sentimental bands accomplish nothing. Ballads died with hair-rock, and even though our post-9/11 world loves stupefying sentimentality, it’s time for us to realize that we need to dump the Coldplayers the way we dumped rock rap and boy bands. We need dance music!

album REVIEW BOB DYLAN modern times [Sony] IMRAN SIDDIQUEE • STAFF WRITER

To understand the continued awe with which audiences approach Bob Dylan, put your ear to “Spirit on the Water” from his latest album, Modern Times. The first thing that catches you is the riff — a gorgeous summershine jaunt, a lazy little thing that almost begs for dancing as it floats away on a harmonica. It’s something you don’t really expect, but listen again, this time paying attention to the words: “I’ve been travelin’ through mud/prayin’ to the powers INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, H EAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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above/I’m sweatin’ blood, you’ve got a face that begs for love.” Together it’s over seven minutes of highly addictive, confusing, and frustrating beauty. It’s good old Bob, but the context keeps changing, always moving like so many of the characters he paints in his poetry. Modern Times is his third straight masterwork, taking the friskiness of Love and Theft while retaining some of the focused seriousness of Time Out of Mind. It’s an album about current events as much as classic music, with references to Chaplin and Katrina , but more than anything, it sounds unlike anything else out there, creating a new and exciting world for our hero. Gliding through another decade of music, Dylan is still uniquely and unequivocally Dylan, and for that reason alone this is a work worth all the praise it will receive. sounds from the scene

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AND I’M WRITING THESE LINES FROM INSIDE A LION. AND IT’S RATHER DARK IN HERE.

THIS WEEK AT

K R A N N E RT C E N T E R F O R T H E P E R F O R M I N G A RT S

FEATURED EVENTS

Gint By Romulus Linney Alec Wild, director Department of Theatre Pete Gint is a son, a lover, a rascal, and a rogue. His life spans the 20th century, trailing from Appalachian hollers to Californian resort hotels, from fantastic failure to soaring success. An ensemble cast plays billionaires, devils, and razorback hogs in this heartfelt and wild, poetic and real retelling of the 19th-century tale of Peer Gynt. Contains adult themes. Thursday-Saturday, September 28-30 at 7:30pm; Wednesday-Saturday, October 4*-7 at 7:30pm; Sunday, October 8 at 3pm *We would like to offer interpretation for the deaf or hard-of-hearing at this performance. Please call three weeks in advance if you are interested in having this event interpreted.

Tu Sep 19

Th Sep 21

Sonny Rollins 7:30pm, $22-$42

Krannert Uncorked 5pm, free

*Tickets are currently unavailable; contact the Ticket Office for information on the rerelease of any returned tickets Patron Co-sponsors: Frances and Marc Ansel Judith and Erwin Hoffman Imogene and Harrison Streeter Susan and Robert Welke Anonymous Corporate Gold Sponsors:

Studio Theatre

Fr Sep 22 Pygmalion Festival: Danielson with opening guest David Bazan 7:30pm, $12-$18

Sa Sep 23 Concert Prep: Liz Lerman on Ferocious Beauty: Genome 6:45pm, free

Flex: $12 / SC & Stu 11 / UI & Yth 6 Single: $13 / SC & Stu 12 / UI & Yth 7

Enjoy Krannert Center to the fullest!

Liz Lerman Dance Exchange Ferocious Beauty: Genome 7:30pm, $14-$32

Intermezzo Breakfast, lunch, supper, dessert

Patron Co-sponsors: Jerald Wray and Dirk Mol

7:30am-3:30pm on non-performance weekdays 7:30am through performances on weekdays 90 minutes before and through performances on weekends

Joy Thornton Walter and John Walter, in honor of Planned Parenthood Chaplain Reverend Ignacio Castuera Grants: National Endowment for the Arts National Dance Project of the New England Foundation for the Arts Performing Arts Fund, a program of Arts Midwest Frances P. Rohlen Visiting Artists Fund of the College of Fine and Applied Arts

Interlude Cocktails and conversation 90 minutes before and through performances

IPRH Curtain Call Discussion with Liz Lerman Dance Exchange 10pm, free

Corporate Silver Sponsors:

The Promenade Gifts, cards, candy, and more 10am-6pm Monday-Saturday One hour before to 30 minutes after performances

Sinfonia da Camera 7:30pm, $7-$33

333.6280 8 0 0 . K C PAT I X

Patron Season Sponsors Dolores and Roger Yarbrough

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council— a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

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Corporate Power Train Team Engine Members

40˚ North and Krannert Center, working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, H EAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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DJ Zen Thursdays: DJ Asiatic Soma Ultralounge, 9pm Limbs [Hip hop, breaks and party music.] Boltini Lounge, 10:30pm, no cover Dancing Free Swing Dance McKinley Church and Foundation, 9:30pm Lectures/Discussions Producing and Consuming New Media: Using the Web for Teaching/ Researching Asia (Technology in Teaching Asia Series) Foreign Languages Building, 5:30pm

Wesley Fall Seminar: Darwin and Beyond: Does Religion Matter? Wesley United Methodist Church, 7pm “Forget What you Thought was Beautiful” [An opening exhibition by New Catalogue.] Humanities Lecture Hall, 7pm, free “Analogy as the Core of Cognition” [CAS/MillerComm2007 Series Lecture presented by Douglas Hofstadter of Indiana University.] Lincoln Hall, 7:30pm Against the Professional Secret: Social Economies, Ecological Economics, and Mining in the Americas during the 19th Century International Studies Building, 12pm

Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, Baby Gramps Sept. 15, 7:30 p.m. The Highdive, $12

I invariably cry during Lilo & Stitch’s emotionally climactic scene when blue but warm-hearted Stitch stammers out, “Family means no one gets left behind.” My eyes are watering just typing it. Even though a rabbit/dog/alien said it, that doesn’t mean there isn’t truth in those words. A family that goes together grows together, I always say. The three person Trachtenburg family took that idea to heart. Knowing the power and love of a family, Papa T., Momma T. and little sis T. formed a band together. “Oh wow,” you jest, “The Brady Bunch over here! The Partridge Family! OASIS!” But this family band is nothing like the cheesy three listed.The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players is actually unlike any band, related or not. Traveling to estate sales, thrift shops and garage sales, the family searches for old, strange slides of family parties and vacations. They compile the vintage slides then write songs about their findings. Yes, put it all together and now their name makes sense!

As equally strange as a manic blue alien, The Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players are sure to teach you a thing or two. –Brian McGovern PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.SLIDESHOWPLAYERS.COM/PHOTOS

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Often described as more of an art project than a band, the Trachtenburgs put on a show as visually and intellectually stimulating as it is musically. Don’t let that make you think they aren’t good at what they do, the 12year-old daughter Rachel plays drums and bass better than most adults (cough Pete Wentz cough). Daddy T., Jason, sings and guitars and Tina T., the mother, is in charge of the slide projector. The trio plays in perfect pop harmony. Come to The Highdive and experience what family means.

Workshops Open Class: “How to Make Art for the Canvas Without Knowing How to Program a Computer” Krannert Art Museum, 7pm “Finding Your Writer’s Voice” [Aya de Leon, guest-in-residence at Unit One/Allen Hall hosts introductory, creative environment for new and experienced writers.] Allen Residence Hall, 7pm, free

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FRI. SEP 15 Live Bands Billy Galt Live at Blues BBQ Blues Barbecue, 11:30am Tim Deal Iron Post, 5pm, free Prairie Dogs Cowboy Monkey 5:30pm, free Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players, Baby Gramps The Highdive, 7:30pm, $12 Starlite Ramblers Hubers, 8pm Xiu Xiu, Yello Swans, Bailey Courtyard Cafe, 8pm, free Bucket Head, That One Guy Canopy Club, 9pm, $15 The Vetebrats Iron Post 9pm, $12 Will Rogers Band Chief’s Bar and Grill, 9:30pm

Auditions Illini N’ Motion Dance Troupe Auditions [Self-choreographed team featuring jazz, tap, ballet, pointe, lyrical, hip-hop and Irish.] Armory Building, 7pm

Karaoke Creative Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 8pm, free

Meetings Washington D.C. Internship Info Meeting [Info about the Washington Center Internship Program available for students of any field of concentration; 12 hours of credit may be earned.] Lincoln Hall, 4pm Fundraisers “United Way 2006 Campaign Kick-Off and Celebration” [Celebrate with United Way the 2006 Campaign Kick-Off and learn more about the programs supported by United Way of Champaign County. We will be giving tours, raffle prizes, offer volunteer events and provide information on your community.] Community Services Center in Northern Champaign, 5:30pm Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard [Apples, pumpkins, gourds, squash: both in-store and pick-your-own. Country store with specialty products & gifts items. Try the new Flying Monkey Cafe for lunch. Donuts, pies & cobblers from our bakery. Petting zoo, inflatable slides & corn maze.] Curtis Orchard, 9am Funfare [Inviting Preschool groups for stories, songs, puppets, films and fun.] Urbana Free Library, 10:30am

Seniors Grandparent Potluck [Please bring a dish to share.] Hays Recreation Center 12pm, free

Recreation “Fitness Drop-in Course: Dance Fusion” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 2pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Cardio Fusion” Campus Recreation (CRCE) 3:10pm Trail Trekkers [Join Allerton staff for recreational hikes around Allerton grounds.] Allerton Park, 4pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Kick Your Abs” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 4:15pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Core and More” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 5:15pm Cosmic Bowling Illini Union Recreation Room, 8pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Strength, Lengthen, & Balance” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 9:15pm

Mind/Body/Spirit Look Good...Feel Better [A free program that teaches

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

Poetry / Readings Open Mic Night [All writers in community invited to share their work. Sponsored by Aya de Leon.] Allen Residence Hall, 9pm

Dancing Contra Dancing Phillips Recreation Center, 6:45pm, $5

Lectures/Discussions “Update on UIUC Energy Sustainability” [Presented by Bill Sullivan, Director Environmental Council, Assoc. Prof UIUC. Part of the University YMCA fall lecture series “What On Earth Are We Doing? Prospects For A Healthy Planet.”] University YMCA, 12pm Friday Forum Series: “What on Earth are We Doing? Prospects for a Healthy Planet” [The first lecture in the Friday Forum Series is entitled “Global Warming: Are We Reaching a (Political) Tipping Point?” by Robert Cox, Former President, Sierra Club and Professor at the University of North Carolina.] University YMCA, 12:15pm Update on UIUC Energy Sustainability [Bill Sullivan, Director, Environmental Council/Associate Professor, Natural Resources and Environmental Sciences, UIUC will speak.] University YMCA, 12:15pm, free Sporting Events Men’s Tennis Alumni Reunion Match Atkins Tennis Center, 12pm Recreation Learn to Play Pinochle Hays Recreation Center, 1pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Cardio Express” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 3pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Sunrise Yoga” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 7pm TGIF Lunch & Bowling [$32 buys four people rental

Meetings American Association of University Women Writers Group [Lead by Nancy Scott.] Pages for All Ages, 1:30pm Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am

SAT. SEP 16 Live Bands Farmer’s Market String Band Strawberry Fields Cafe, 11am Weft-Fest 2006 [Live on air and at the venue featuring Leigh Meador Organ Trio, Oberon the Possum King, Old Dog New Trick, Big Grove Zydeco, Delta Kings, Bird Dogs and Nadafinga.] Mike ‘N Molly’s, 2pm Streetfest: Eclectic Theory, Bruiser and the Virtues Cowboy Monkey, 7pm, free Charlotte Martin with Joe Purdy Canopy Club, 7pm, $10 Unfinished Business Band, Candy Foster and the Shades of Blue Alto Vineyards 7:30pm, $3 New Twang City Hubers, 8pm The Didjits, The Resinators The Highdive, 8pm, $10 The Vertebrats Iron Post 9pm, $12 Skeptik, Ocularis Phoenix 9pm, $5 Will Rogers Band Chief’s Bar and Grill, 9:30pm Dancing Tango Lesson & Dance Phillips Recreation Center, 7:30pm $5/$7 with lesson Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm Lectures/Discussions Saturday Luncheon Forum [The American Association of University Women presents: “Women in the Sciences.” The speaker is Dr. Janic Bahr, Professor of Physiology and Animal Sciences, University of Illinois.] Kennedy’s at Stone Creek, 11:30am Film Film: “High Plains Drifter” (1973) Virginia Theatre, 1pm, $3 Film: “Unforgiven” (1992) Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $3 Sporting events Illini Football V. Syracuse Memorial Stadium, 11am $42/$24 students Men’s Tennis Alumni Reunion Match Atkins Tennis Center, 12pm Recreation “Fitness Drop-in Course: Pure Pilates” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 2pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Pure Cycle” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 3:10pm Cosmic Bowling Illini Union Recreation Room, 8pm

Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard [Live music, wagon rides, pony rides, mining for gems, kettle corn making and face painting.] Curtis Orchard, 9am

SUN. SEP 17 Live Bands “Live Music at Curtis Orchard” [Denny Kay sings country & gospel.] Curtis Orchard 2pm, free NDMO White Horse Inn 7pm, free Baby Teeth Courtyard Cafe, 8pm Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm Frank Must Go, The Anti-Social End, JigGsaw Canopy Club 9pm, $5 Fundraisers 4th Annual Ambulance Chase 5K Run/Walk [Participate in this 5K run/walk to benefit A Woman’s Fund, a local organization that assists victims of domestic violence and assault. Entry fee includes an official race T-shirt, snacks, beverages and the chance to win great prizes. Register, make a donation or just buy the official race T-shirt online at www.signmeup. com/54870.] Crystal Lake Park, 9am Sporting events Illini Women’s Soccer V. Utah Soccer and Track Stadium, 1pm Recreation “Fitness Drop-in Course: Intro to Mediation” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 3pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Kick Your Abs” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 4:15pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Hip Hop N’ Groove” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 7pm Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am

MON. SEP 18 Live Bands Michael Davis [Singer/Keyboardist] Bentley’s Pub, 7pm Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Elsinore Weft 90.1 FM 10pm, free DJ DJ Delayney [Hip-Hop/Soul] Barfly, 10pm Dancing Belly Dancing Basics Class Independent Media Center, 7pm Argentine Tango Dance Lessons Independent Media Center, 9pm Workshops Towards Emptiness: George Brecht’s “Water-Yam” [Michael Behn, Berliln artist, curator and publisher, hosts workshop.] Krannert Art Museum, 9am Personal Statement Workshop for Pre-Law Students Gregory Hall, 4pm, free

sounds from the scene

Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Babies’ Lap Time Evening Edition [Program of songs, stories, and rhymes is for our youngest patrons, ages birth to 24 months with an adult.] Urbana Free Library 6:30pm Volunteer Consumer Health Hotline Orientation [Orientation for volunteers interested in assisting consumers with health care complaints, referrals, and questions.] 44 E. Main, Suite 208, 5pm

TUE. SEP 19 Live Bands Billy Galt Live at Blues BBQ Blues Barbecue, 11:30am Treologic [Rehearsal Space in the Void Room.] Canopy Club, 12am, no cover Dayna Kurtz [Virtuosic slide player with an old soul.] Iron Post, 8pm Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm Erase Errata Cowboy Monkey 10pm, $7 Chris O [A blend of downtempo and deep house.] Boltini Lounge, 10:30pm no cover Concerts Sonny Rollins Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm DJ DJs Hoff and Bambino [Hard Rock/Punk] Mike ‘N Molly’s, 10pm DJ Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm Dancing Swing Dance Lessons Independent Media Center 7pm Salsa Dance Lessons Independent Media Center, 9pm $40/6 weeks Argentine Tango Fundamentals [Partner required. Smooth soled shoes recommended.] Channing Murray Foundation, 9pm, $60/10 weeks Subversion: DJ TwinScin and DJ Evily [Industrial/EBM/ Darkwave] The Highdive 10pm, $2 Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm Karaoke [With Randy Miller.] Bentley’s Pub, 9:30pm, free Lectures/Discussions “Genetic Basis of Human Brain Evolution” [Bruce Lahn, Dept. of Human Genetics, University of Chicago speaks.] Beckman Institute, 4pm

“Being Innovative and Entrepreneurial: Lessons from the Trenches” [Presented by Kevin Desouza. Registration required.] Seibel Center, 5pm “Parkland College and the University of Illinois: Success Guaranteed” [Know Your University Series featuring Robert Exley, President, Parkland College.] University YMCA, 12pm, free “Covering Deprivation: Farm Suicides in India’s Brave New World” [Speaker P. Sainath presents this Brownbag lunch lecture.] Foreign Languages Building, 12pm “’We Have Never Been German’ or What Kaliningrad Can Teach Us About Historical Memory and Identity” [Presented by Olga Sezneva.] International Studies Building, 12pm “Calibrated Peer Review: Teaching and Learning with Technology” [Presented by Stephen Hurst. Registration required.] Illini Hall, 12pm Workshops Towards Emptiness: George Brecht’s “Water-Yam” [Michael Behn, Berlin artist, curator and publisher, hosts a week long workshop.] Krannert Art Museum, 9am Career Planning Seminar [Participants will be introduced to the career planning process and will learn workforce and career trend information. A career assessment and interpretation is provided.] Parkland College, 6pm Women & Business - BYOB (Bring Your Own Bag lunch) [To provide an opportunity for professional women and students to network, mentor, and support one another.] Urbana Free Library, 12pm YWCA members free/$2 Chamber of Commerce Brown Bag Workshop [Join Trillium, a local staffing company, to learn the essential skills in hiring the best. Discover effective ways to advertise an open position, objectively interview candidates and make a job offer; all designed to help maximize a perfect fit for your business.] Chamber Large Conference Room, 12pm Recreation “Fitness Drop-in Course: Dance Fusion” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 2pm Trail Trekkers [Join Allerton staff for recreational hikes around Allerton grounds.] Allerton Park, 4pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Core and More” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 5:15pm Red Pin Tuesdays Illini Union Recreation Room, 6:30pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Cardio Camp” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 8pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Strength, Lengthen, & Balance” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 9:15pm

Auditions Latina/o Fashion Show Auditions Illini Union, 7pm Family Fun Fresh Fruit at Curtis Orchard Curtis Orchard, 9am Babies’ Lap Time [This program of songs, stories and rhymes is for our youngest patrons, ages birth to 24 months with an adult.] Urbana Free Library, 9:45am

WED. SEP 20 Live Bands Irish Traditional Music Session Bentley’s Pub, 7pm, free G.Lee Silvercreek Restaurant 7:30pm, free Pygmalion Festival: Elf Power, Geoff Reacher, Mad Science Fair, Dress Code

Canopy Club, 9pm Adam Wolfe Fat City Saloon, 9pm, free Bozak Boltini Lounge, 10:30pm DJ Chef Ra [Roots/Reggae] Barfly, 10pm Dancing Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, no cover Workshops Towards Emptiness: George Brecht’s “Water-Yam” [With Michael Behn, Berliln artist, curator and publisher.] Krannert Art Museum, 9am Recreation Learn to Play Pinochle Hays Recreation Center, 1pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Belly Dancing” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 3pm

“Fitness Drop-in Course: Kick Your Abs” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 4pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Kick & Crunch” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 5:20pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Athletic Conditioning” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 6:30pm Auditions Murder Mystery Dinner Theatre Auditions [Thespians wanted.] Illini Union, 6pm Latina/o Fashion Show Auditions Illini Union, 7pm Miscellaneous Illinois College Exposition [More than 80 public and private colleges come together to offer high school juniors and seniors a one-stop place for getting college information.] Parkland College, 6pm, free

art & theater Parkland Art & Design Faculty Exhibition [Recent works by Parkland faculty including paintings, photography, ceramics, sculpture, metals, digital and mixed media. At 12 p.m. on Thursdays during the exhibition, the Parkland Art Gallery will host gallery talks by participating faculty members.] Parkland Art Gallery through Sept. 21 The School of Art + Design Faculty Art Exhibition [One of the oldest annual faculty art exhibitions in the country and a major event in the region, this show highlights the current achievements of the artists and upholds the national reputation of the school.] Krannert Art Museum through Sept. 24 Speed Sketchings and Paper Tearing Artworks by Hua Nian [Hua Nian is an active exhibiting artist and art instructor in Champaign-Urbana. Her paintings appear in international and national art exhibitions, winning awards at local, state and national shows.] Pages for All Ages through Sept. 30 Pour la Victoire: French Posters and Photographs of the Great War Guest Curators: David O’Brien and Emily Evans [Graphically charged lithographic posters from the WorldWar-I era depict the place of women in the war effort, the need for personal sacrifice on the home front and the position of French colonial subjects. The exhibition is drawn from University Archive holdings and is accompanied by documentary photographs from the Rare Book Library.] Krannert Art Museum through Oct. 15 Cosmic Consciousness: The Work of Robert Bannister [Born in 1911, this outsider artist, a native of Urbana, spent his early years

convalescing in a local sanitarium. In 1950, stricken with anemia, he left the home of foster grandparents to enter the Champaign County Nursing Home, where an occupational therapist introduced him to carving and drawing. After his release in 1961, he lived in one room near West Side Park, painting, drawing and writing works that are meditations on human life tinged with humor and a selfproclaimed “cosmic consciousness.”] Krannert Art Museum through Oct. 15 David Svensson/SpaceLight [This is the first U.S. museum presentation of the work of emerging Swedish artist David Svensson, who draws from the modernist aesthetic in joining the practices of art and design. Seven glowing sculptural works will be exhibited in the glass-walled link between the museum and the School of Art and Design. Following the exhibition on the University of Illinois campus, the I space gallery in Chicago will exhibit a site-specific film work by Svensson for the I space windows.] Krannert Art Museum through Oct. 22 Surrealist Interventions: Selections from Krannert Art Museum and the University of Illinois Library [This exhibition pairs Surrealist paintings, photographs, prints and drawings from the Krannert Art Museum collection with the movement’s experiments in print culture–from manifestos and singlepage tracts to elaborately designed serials and limited-edition books on loan from the University of Illinois Library. Collaboration across media and continual reinvention in the face of controversy have contributed to Surrealism’s reputation as one of the most vital and enduring avant-garde practices of the twentieth century.] Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 31

Trim: 2.458 x 11 Bleed: None Live: 2.208 x 10.75

Live Bands Minus the Bear, These Arms Are Snakes, Thunderbirds are Now!, City on Film Courtyard Cafe, 8pm Melissa Greener Aroma Cafe, 8pm Tony Sorrentino, Shipwreck, The Living Blue Courtyard Cafe 9pm, free Green Mountain Grass, Coal Train, Creek Road Ramblers Canopy Club, 9pm, $6 U of I Jazz Band Iron Post 9pm, cover Tally Hall, NYCO, Stella Polaris Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $7

Leigh Meador Quartet Zorba’s Restaurant 9:30pm, $3

Recreation “Fitness Drop-in Course: Belly Dancing” Campus Recreation (CRCE) 3pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Cardio Express” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 3pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Kick Your Abs” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 4pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Yoga Strength” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 4pm “Fitness Drop-in Course: Athletic Conditioning” Campus Recreation (CRCE), 6:30pm

VISIT WWW.CUCALENDAR.COM FOR THE MOST CURRENT EV ENTS AND TO ADD YOUR OWN. INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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THU. SEP 14

Auditions “Dear Santa” [Audtions for dancers ages 4-60.] Christine Rich Studio Dance Academy and Performing Arts Center, 4pm

Meetings Malaysian Student Association Culture Night Foellinger Auditorium, 5pm Grand Prairie Friends Fall Meeting [Presentation on woodland wildflowers. Bring your favorite dessert to share for the dessert potluck.] Anita Purves Nature Center, 7pm

Job # 547959

cu calendar

shoes, bowling, fountain drinks, and a large 18” pizza from Sbarro. Reserve your lane at least one day in advance.] Illini Union Recreation Room, 12pm

Ad Name: Hyde- Let Yourself Out Item #: PJH20068387 Publication: The Buzz

LIKE THE KOOL-AID MAN BUSTING INTO YOUR HOUSE, BUZZ PICKS ARE HERE THIS WEEK IN CHERRY RED TO QUENCH YOUR THIRST. OH YEEEEAH!

beauty techniques to women who are actively undergoing cancer treatment to help them combat the appearance-related side effects of radiation and chemotherapy. To register, call Jennie Knobloch at 356-9076.] Concept College of Cosmetology, 5pm

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MONICA BETEL • PHOTO ILLUSTRATION

Buzz cheers and jeers the best and worst of primetime television for this fall season. INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE , S CREEN &

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Se p t e m be r 14

•

S e p t e m b e r 2 0 , 2 oo 6

buzz weekly •

ANYONE WHO GOES TO A PSYCHIATRIST OUGHT TO HAVE HIS HEAD EXAMINED.

TOP THREE RETURNING SHOWS TO PRMETIME TV House MD Fox

Starts Sunday, Jan. 15 at 7 p.m. on FOX.

Tuesdays at 7 p.m.

If you don’t know Jack Bauer from FOX’s Hugh Laurie is back for season three as Greg House, 24, then you obviously haven’t seen much special diseases diagnostician and the sexiest smartTV. 24 is an explosive thr i l ler where one mouth doctor on TV. After getting shot in May’s episode marks one hour of the day-long season season two finale, expect big changes in the doc which is comprised of 24 episodes (get it?). The series gets more intense every season and questions the security of this nation. It has recently grabbed national attention with Bauer’s Emmy w in for Best Actor i n a D r a m a a nd B e st Dramatic Series. With its balance of action and politics, this show will not disappoint viewers. Days one through four a re out on DV D a nd Day f ive is com ing in December just before i t s s e a s o n p r e m i e r e . The cast of hit television show 24 (from left to right): Carlos Bernard, Louis Lombardi, James Morrison, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Kiefer Suther—Mrugesh Bavda land, Kim Raver, Roger Cross, Jean Smart and Gregory Itzin.

this season. With strange new diseases each week (from scurvy to AIDS) and a team of good looking doctors (including Omar Epps and Jennifer Morrison) to help him, this show should not be missed. Seasons one and two are now available on DVD, so catch up! — Jenny McCarthy Lost ABC Starts Wednesday, Oct. 4 at 8 p.m.

Lost is the best drama on television right now, period. Each brilliantly-conceived and well-written episode allows us to intimate ourselves with one of the many castaways washed up on the mysterious island. It seems so simple, and yet it is more complex than any show before it. The show is about people, and the closer we get to each character, the more we understand what motivates them, what empowers them and what terrifies them. Season two’s cliff hanger left us in awe and made us realize how little we really know about the island. With the original creator and writer, J.J. Abrams, returning from his Mission Impossible III hiatus to direct episodes in the show’s third season, Lost is sure to deliver non-stop thrills and entertainment to its wide-spread audience. — David Just

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24 FOX

Terry O’Quinn as John Locke is returning ABC drama Lost.

TOP THREE NEW SHOWS ON PRIMETIME TV Six Degrees ABC Starts Thursday, Sept. 21 at 9 p.m.

John Lithgow as John Mason, Jeffrey Tambor as Jeffrey Pyne in the new NBC sitcom Twenty Good Years.

Six Degrees is J.J. Abrams’ newest show, however, this one is a bit different from his other shows, Lost and Alias, just to name a few. Already scheduled after one of ABC’s jackpot dramas, Grey’s Anatomy, Six Degrees focuses around six characters living in Manhattan leading separate lives that are strangely connected by the infamous “six degrees of separation” theory. Hopefully, this show will bring strong performances from some of today’s hottest film actors (Hope Davis and Erika Christensen, among others). Along with performance, the

show seems to be filled with the well-crafted drama and storylines that we have all come to love from Abrams. — Rosalee Inendino

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip NBC

Twenty Good Years NBC

From t he Creator of t he West W ing a nd Sports Night, Aaron Sork in w i l l prem iere his latest series this fall. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip stars Matthew Per r y (Friends) and Brad ley W hitford (West Wing) as the new producers of a sketch comedy show sim ilar to Saturday Night Live. The ser ies goes behind the camera to show the politics that a show faces with their net work. With its qu ick w it, ra re stor yl i nes a nd a n a l l-st a r cast, it will surely garner immediate success. — Mrugesh Bavda

Starts Wednesday, Oct. 11 at 7:30 p.m.

John Lithgow (Third Rock From the Sun) and Jeffrey Tambor (Arrested Development) are back with a new promising sitcom about growing old. Both men, fearing that they are entering the last “twenty good years” of their lives, agree to make the most of every single day. What results will hopefully be the type of successful comedy series that both actors have enjoyed in the past. — Brent Simerson

Starts Monday, Sept. 19 at 9 p.m.

WORST THREE SHOWS ON PRIMETIME TV The OC FOX

Survivor: Cook Islands CBS

So You Think You Can Dance FOX

Starts Thursday, Nov. 2 at 8 p.m.

Starts Thursday, Sept. 14 at 7 p.m.

Starts Thursday, May 25 at 7 p.m.

Remember how hot The OC was three years ago when Ryan and Marissa had barely started their drama, Summer was cold and annoying and Seth was ... Seth? Well, the hype has fizzled. Now that Marissa has been killed off, her younger sister Caitlin will have all the glory. Producers are going to keep the “OC” vibe by featuring Caitlin at Newport and trying to tie all the other characters together at their separate colleges. Plus it’s up against Grey’s Anatomy during the same time slot. Sucks to be you, OC fans! — Jenny McCarthy

Will they ever stop? Eventually, but in the interim we are once again forced to suffer through the Survivor commercials as CBS tries to relive its 2001 magic. I will, however, make several predictions on the outset of the premiere: someone will get mad at someone else about how they performed in a challenge, rumors will spread and tempers will flare, someone will get voted off for it and it will all be very, very dramatic. I think I’ll stick to Cash Cab on the Discovery channel – good show. — Brent Simerson

The advent of So You Think You Can Dance last season signaled an American Idol rip-off, FOX style. I am sure you have caught yourself flipping channels one day only to land on this awful mix of flamboyant dancing and even worse music. Toss in the over critical judges and you have yourself a bad headache. If you’re looking for a good show to watch, do yourself a favor and avoid this one. — Katie Devine

sounds from the scene

Finalists Joy Spears and Dmitry Chaplin performing hip-hop on So You Think You Can Dance.

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I DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T SUFFER FROM STRESS. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;M A CARRIER.

FILM

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S e p t e m b e r 2 0 , 2 oo 6

THE COVENANT

HOLLYWOODLAND SYD SLOBODNIK

Se p t e m be r 14

â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

TIM PETERS â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

amous Hollywood murder/suicide cases have been some of the most popular tales in the movie industry from its beginning, whether fictional, like Billy Wilderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s classic Sunset Boulevard, or the bizarre, non-fictional exposes of Kenneth Angerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s book Hollywood Babylon. Hollywoodland, a new f ilm that takes on the 1959 case of B-actor George Reevesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; purported suicide, has mixed results. Adrien Brody stars as Louis Simo, a lowbudget private investigator who is quickly attracted to the sensationalized media coverage of Reevesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; death â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Reeves was known mostly for playing Superman/Clark Kent in the 1950s television show The Adventures of Superman. The Reevesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; tale is told in fl ashbacks, with a surprisingly lively interpretation of the troubled actorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life by Ben Affleck. As Simo speculates alternative theories on who may have killed Reeves, scenes of Reevesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; short life are continually interspersed, with an effectively expressive, moody fi lm noir visual style. Where fi rst time fi lm director (but veteran of television with Sopranos and Sex in the City) Allen Coulter and screenwriter Paul Bernbaum run into problems on how they tell this seemingly complex narrative. One expects to learn much more about Reevesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; personal troubles and difficulties, especially since they pull such an

effective performance from Affleck. But, their focus seems equally concerned with the less interesting personal life of Simoâ&#x20AC;&#x201D; his motelbased private eye business, his girlfriend, his estranged wife and son and his Oliver Stonelike belief in a murder conspiracy. Despite winning the Oscar several years ago for The Pianist, Brodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s skills and star power are not enough to carry this rather hard boiled detective yarn that some are comparing to L.A. Confidential; heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s certainly no Russell Crowe. With effective visuals and appropriate mood, but without a satisfying conclusion to all these murder speculations, Hollywoodland basically leaves you with yet another tale of how life in Tinsel Town isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t all that glamorous â&#x20AC;&#x201D; so what else is new?

Ben Affleck and Diane Lane in Hollywoodland.

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&A east coast horror Harry Potter â&#x20AC;&#x201D; The Covenantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s power lunch premise pitch must have been something like that. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s imageobsessed, cut-and-paste cinema. Forget about the story â&#x20AC;&#x201D; just sum up some plot background with flaming titles in the opening credit, and then tint the lighting cobalt â&#x20AC;&#x201D; dark, moody, sexy â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and make everything blow apart, come back together, pop up and flash away with rotting shiny special effects. Director Renny Harlin has made something here, but any accurate categorization can be evasive for a movie that resembles a haunted Lexus commercial, with fight scenes and a plot coherency equivalent to a porno. Ostensibly, The Covenant is about four Massachusetts, old money prep school seniors (the Sons of Ipswich) with a special â&#x20AC;&#x153;powerâ&#x20AC;? passed down from their earlysettling Protestant forebears. The boysâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; power, both unexplained and inexplicable, consists of hand waving, eye fl ashing and the usual telepathy, along with floating, flying and what seems just for the hell of it, conjuring up clear, waxy fi reballs to heave at each other. Within the cast of hard-bodied no-names, Caleb (Steven Strait) is the protagonist, always driving around in his tough Mustang and occasionally being haunted by, and worrying about, a lost fi fth son that is about to turn 18 and release his powers into a higher, more dangerous

form. Caleb falls for pretty blond Sarah (Laura Ramsey) and, through some spectral, late night hauntings and other CGI-concocted nightmares, she becomes the sleeping beauty trophy for the fi nal Mortal Kombat-like battle scene. The Covenant looks kind of nice, with a preponderant moon and fortuitous lightning always in the rainy, cloudy backgrounds. The hallways are eerie, the prep school leafy, but alas, being PG-13, bloodless and breastless, this fi lm could not even redeem itself with base masturbatory fodder.

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18 â&#x20AC;˘

Steven Strait stars in The Covenant.

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SCOTT FRANKEL â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

here the hell is my elephant?â&#x20AC;? demands Kham (Tony Jaa), dubbed over and out of sync. This quote basically sums up the entire plot of the very gritty movie The Protector. But if you see the movie for its plot, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll be in for a rude awakening. Quentin Tarantino put his name on another mediocre movie in order to become the household name for all horror and action fi lms (others include Hostel and Hero). Unfortunately for him, this may not be the fl ick that brings him the status that he desires. Thai history has it that elephants represent power in a battle; if your elephant dies, so do you. As a result, people were trained to protect these sacred animals from harm. Kham grew up with this mentality despite its outdatedness. As a result, when Khamâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s elephant is stolen by the villainous Johnny ( Johnny Ng uyen), he need s to go to Aust ra l ia to reclaim this family member. However, Kham never anticipated the conquering of a Mortal Combat-like gang led by an evil mistress. Will he be able to save his elephant in time, or will we see its tusks on the next grand piano? It seems a little ridiculous that hundreds of

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people are dying and injuring themselves over protecting this animal, but the people that will enjoy The Protector are those that can accept it for what its worth. If audiences look too deeply into its dialogue or character development, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re just going to fi nd a pile of crap bigger than what the elephant left off-set. Instead, we need to accept it the same way we did the original Japanese Godzilla movies: poor dubbing and cheesy camera angles, but good laughs for its absurdity and its good will.

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hat do you get when you combine There is also an option to use reaction comMickey Mouse, Sephiroth, Donald mands. A few clicks in battle make for some Duck and a kid with really big hair? One sweet eye candy as Sora pulls off extravagant kick-ass game for just about anyone to enjoy. moves, assuming you hit the buttons on time. Kingdom Hearts is back after its four year sab- Also, the camera has been improved this time batical boasting new worlds, new characters and a around so you can actually see what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re trynewly designed battle system. This time around, ing to hit in the midst of battle. Sora is searching for his missing pals with the My only complaint about this game are the long help of Donald and Goofy. While traveling across story sequences. Some scenes were long enough. a variety of worlds including the Pride Lands, I could have put down the controller and made a Agrabah, Port Royal and a few Square-Enix sandwich. Some things were just unnecessary. Forinspired levels fi lled with classic Final Fantasy tunately, you can skip through the cut-scenes. characters. These worlds are beautifully designed So, whether you are an ex-Mousketeer, a with the same animated flow and immersion of die-hard chocobo lover or just your average a Disney animated fi lm. Adding to this experi- gamer, you will def initely f ind something in ence is the enhanced battle system which makes this game to enjoy. getting through these locales a simpler task than the fi rst installment of this series. In the f irst game, the battles felt more like you just ra ndom ly hacked through a slew of enemies to get through to the next point in the game. Hack, slash, repeat. Now there are plenty of options that keep each battle fresh while adding some f lashy visuals. There are drive forms which allow Sora to transform into a double keyblade wielding ruffi an which give him the ability to unleash powerful combos on any foe that crosses his path. The Pride Lands level from the Kingdom of Hearts II PS2 game.

AND THE NUCLEAR SO AND SOS / SOMEONE STILL LOVES YOU BORIS

â&#x20AC;&#x153;

buzz weekly â&#x20AC;˘

THERE IS ONLY ONE PRETTY CHILD IN THE WORLD... AND EVERY MOTHER HAS IT.

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buzz weekly

Se p t e m be r 14

IF IT WERE NOT FOR THOMAS EDISON, WE WOULD ALL BE WATCHING TELEVISION IN THE DARK.

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S e p t e m b e r 2 0 , 2 oo 6

BRENT SIMERSON â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

BRINGING OUT THE DEAD (1999)

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20 â&#x20AC;˘

Although far from Martin Scorseseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s best, the Taxi Driver and Goodfellas director does his standard movie magic with the oftforgotten paramedic drama, Bringing Out the Dead . Staged in the wee hours of night and entrenched in the chaotic backdrop of a tired metropolis, this film begs to parallel Taxi Driver in its cryptic depictions. It ultimately short â&#x20AC;&#x201D; who would have BRENT falls SIMERSON thought Nicolas Cage couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t fill Robert De Niroâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shoes? Nevertheless, Bringing Out the Dead is still very interesting and certainly worth a viewing. In the movie, third-shift paramedic Frank Pierce (Cage) begins to lose hope when he sees the ghosts of people he tried to save while on the job. Each night, he rides with a different paramedic (John Goodman, Ving Rhames, Tom Sizemore) and prays that he can save someoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life and regain the lost hope that drives him to dementia. In the end, Pierce must try to find hope amongst the living.

GUILTY PLEASURE It is understandably impossible to have a â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Guilty Pleasuresâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; section without mentioning the Saturday afternoon matinee king Steven Seagal. With this in mind, to sort through his countless sweet films (Hard To Kill, Executive Decision) and choose just one to endorse is a daunting task. However, Under Siege stood out as the clear favorite and is undoubtedly the highest quality Seagal film to date. In the flick, Seagal plays a disgraced Navy SEAL turned battleship head cook who turned in his deadly martial arts and knife throwing skills for the apron and the spatula. Fortunately for the crew of the USS Missouri, and indeed everyone in the entire world, Seagal hasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t lost a step. He proves it when two nutty terrorists, William Stranix (Tommy Lee Jones) and Commander Krill (Gary Busey), hijack the ship and threaten the powersthat-be to fire the five nuclear warheads on board. They donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get far, however, and in the words of the man himself, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2DC;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;another cold day in Hell.â&#x20AC;?

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S e p t e m b e r 2 0 , 2 oo 6

WHAT BUZZ WRITERS ARE READIN’ David S. Viscott’s The Making of a Psychiatrist NATHAN KRAMER • STAFF WRITER

ow in print for over 30 years, The Making of a Psychiatrist by David S. Viscott gives a very personal account of his training from medical school through his own analysis. Although this is his first book, Viscott does a very good job relating many of the important issues in a psychiatric residency while avoiding a lapse into a frenzy of complex and technical jargon.

buzz weekly •

EVERYBODY WANTS TO GO TO HEAVEN, BUT NOBODY WANTS TO DIE.

Viscott, concerned about being viewed as a discredit to the f ield of psychiatr y, underst a nd s that h is book of fer s ver y per sona l i nsig ht s i nto h is profession. Yet he g ives a c a nd id , somet i me s shock i n g f i r st h a nd account of the damage that can be done by f irst time practitioners, as well as the profound and positive accomplishments of gifted

and dedicated therapists. He isn’t afraid to question any of the harmful customs common to psychiatry. Viscott points an accusatory f inger at the excessive use of treatments i nclud i n g elec t ro shock t her apy as wel l as the r ig id appl ication of orthodox Freudian techniques. Viscott includes a postscript written for patients in psychotherapy. He gives forthright advice by spelling out what they are entitled to expect from their doctors: how to tell if they are making progress, how to know if their therapist is wrong for them and if necessary, when and how to change. Dr. Viscott is a wonderful storyteller. His honesty about his struggles and humorous encounter s w ith pat ient s help ma ke the book an enjoyable read. It is a great book for any person who is interested in psychiatry or psycholog y. It is an easy read and ver y understandable.

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Music and Lyrics by Mark Hollmann Book and Lyrics by Greg Kotis Director: Dallas Street Musical Director: Ron Attreau Saturday, Sept. 16 • 3-6 pm OR Sunday, Sept. 17 • 1-3 pm Callbacks Sunday, Sept. 17 • 5 pm Casting 15 - 20 actor/singers ages 18 - 60s. Bring sheet music to sing 16-32 bars of a song of your choice. Accompanist provided. Audition consists of a vocal audition and a reading from the script. Script readings and character descriptions are online at www.parkland.edu/theatre/ auditions.htm. Rehearsals will begin shortly after casting. Auditions are open to all members of the community and U of I and Parkland students. We encourage diversity. Questions: call 351-2476.

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I DON’T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM. YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM.

ARTIST’S CORNER

David Svensson

TIM PETERS • STAFF WRITER

In his first solo museum show in the United States, David Svensson has presented seven abstract, illuminated sculptures for the glass-paneled hallway between the Krannert Art Museum and the Art and Design Building. The young Swedish artist has been featured in dozens of solo and joint exhibitions throughout Europe and, recently, in New York City. Through photography, sculpture and found objects, Svensson’s minimalist works permeate their surroundings and leave much open to interpretation. In this exhibition, entitled SpaceLight, his shapes — constructed of nylon and metal and lit by halogen lights — are encapsulated by the windows in the daytime but, at night, reflect onto the glass, the ceilings and the floor, and shine outward like beacons. SpaceLight runs through October 22. Do you offer any personal interpretation of these works?

I’m interested in the meeting between the viewer and the artwork ... when I show [my work], I have to leave it. I can’t control it anymore. The choice of color with these pieces was very much intuitive. I want to leave it open to the viewer to make sense of it.

What is your impression of the Midwest?

It’s the f irst time I’m here and for me it’s actual ly kind of exotic because it changes so much from Europe. The planning of the city is so different. It’s so built up around the car and we are much more with a center where you walk and have all the shops and all the restaurants. It’s much more spread out and a total ly dif ferent way of dealing with a city. You use signs a lot more, too. It’s interesting.

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PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.DAVIDSVENSSON.NET.

22 •

(Below) David Svensson atop one of his works of art, Glow Ball, which is completely made out of nylon cloth and air. (Right) The artist sets up a piece on his exhibit, Space Light, in the Kranert Art Museum on Tuesday Sept. 13, 2006.

How has your work come to be displayed in Champaign?

I did a show in New York and Judy Fox, the [visiting curator of Krannert Art Museum], did documentation for that work and also wrote a short text for me. She liked it and invited me. How did you get into sculpture?

“I’m interested in the meeting between the viewer and the artwork…” — David Svensson

I come more f rom a painting area. I was more a painter before and was somewhat more interested in those qualities. But my work became more three-dimensional and I’ve been working with sculpture for seven or eight years. What do you think about the gallery?

I think it’s absolutely perfect. I like it ver y much because of the windows. You can see [the shapes] from far off and the look changes bet ween the day and the night. INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE , S CREEN &

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Part-Time Accounting Assistant If you are available M-F between 8:30am-2pm, meticulous with details, able to work independently with limited direction, have excellent Miicrosoft Office skills, have a valid driver’s license & a clean driving record and a great attitude we need you!!! We need additional accounting/clerical help in our brand new facility. Excellent experience for any business major. Please stop by our offices at 512 E Green to fill out an application or email mgpasco@illinimedia.com for more information.

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INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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the stinger kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

“Behind the Music”—butt seriously, folks. Across 1 “Concentration” puzzle 6 Nonprofit’s URL suffix 9 Restrict 14 ___-garde 15 Make, as coffee 17 Messing up on the small screen? 18 Elite people like Bill Gates 19 Symptom of some allergy sufferers 21 Band that redid “I Will Survive” 22 Alternative to Beano or Tums 23 Techno artist behind “We Are All Made of Stars” 24 Air rifle ammo 27 Landscaping stuff

28 What crime may do 30 Author of one of the Gospels 32 Big prov. 33 Ex-South African prime minister P.W. 35 Do ___ 36 Amidala’s planet 38 Wrestling milieu 39 Mythical weeper 40 Joe of “Hill Street Blues” 41 Garb for a big painting project 43 Badminton need 44 “And so on and so forth” 46 Mickelson’s org. 47 Tiny Tim’s instrument 48 Tik-___ (character from the “Land of Oz” series) 49 ___ Revenge (Atari classic)

4 Like books collecting dust 5 Doesn’t split 6 ___ Dei (“The Da Vinci Code” group) 7 Yank’s counterpart 8 ___-Roman 9 With 24-down, Trace Adkins hit with the line “Lord have mercy, how’d she even get them britches on” 10 Robert ___ 11 Ruin 12 “___ be my pleasure!” 13 Castlevania platform 16 Lice, but down there 20 Former major leaguer 23 Derided 2005 Black Eyed Peas song that mentions “lovely lady lumps” 24 See 9-down 25 Crooked politician, e.g. 26 Clay pigeons sport 27 ___ attention (suddenly quit zoning) 29 They may be drive-up: abbr. 31 Medical scan: abbr. 32 Beginning 33 G. Love & Special Sauce song that repeats “I can tell that we’re gonna be friends” 51 “You’ve Got Mail” direc34 Work like ___ tor Ephron 37 List beginning 53 Prefix for -pus 54 Subject of some nostal- 42 Prop for Mr. Peanut 45 Comic strip character gic VH1 tributes drawn without a nose 57 Person in charge 47 Planet that always gets 61 Opposite of “cathode” a few laughs 62 Cartoon featuring 50 Like some sketches Quagmire 52 Florida city 63 Strike out in a forward 53 Dust Bowl victim motion 54 Refrain part of “The 64 Photographer Adams Banana Boat Song” 65 “Mr. Show” original 55 Just beat network 66 Answered, on “Jeopardy!” 56 Sunflower edible 57 Sculptor’s deg. 58 Actor McKellen Down 59 Baseball heads, 1 Celebrity public for short awareness gp. 60 Small protuberance 2 At any time 3 Sir Mix-a-Lot anthem with Answers pg. 25 the line “...don’t want none unless you got buns, hon”

INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

It’s all about timing Ovulation, fertilization, implantation, pPregnancy

ince our last column on Plan B — also known as emergency contraception — we’ve received some que st ion s about how exactly Plan B works and why it’s not an abortion pill. Many confuse the difference among ovulation, fertilization and implantation or pregnancy. Hopefully we’ve all learned that the very first part of getting pregnant involves a sperm and an egg. A lot of people are under the misconception that a woman gets pregnant right after having unprotected sex with a man. In reality, there is a lot that happens in between sex and pregnancy. Let’s take it step by step ... When a man ejaculates into a woman’s vagina, the semen and sperm will collect towards the back of the vagina, creating a “seminal pool.” This is a space just outside and slightly behind the cervix. This puts the sperm in a good position to start swimming into the uterus and fallopian tubes to find the egg. Remember that sperm are designed to swim, so even those that are not deposited in the seminal pool have a chance of swimming up the vagina and into the uterus and fallopian tube. If you’re unfamiliar with the map of the internal female reproductive system, consult www.teenwire.com for an accessible and colorful update. If a woman has ovulated then there may be an egg (ovum) present in one of her fallopian tubes. The egg needs to be fertilized within about 24 to 48 hours after ovulation, or it will disintegrate. Only about 400 sperm out of the 250 to 500 million deposited into the vagina will make it into the fallopian tube and have the chance to penetrate the egg. Once the sperm has penetrated the egg, fertilization has occurred. Most sperm can live in the female reproductive tract for about 48 hours after intercourse, although some have been found vigorously swimming in search of the elusive egg several days after sex. It is possible for sperm to reach the egg as quickly as one hour after intercourse, but most take longer. It can take up to six to seven days for the sperm to travel from the vagina, through the uterus, into the fallopian tube and then fertilize an egg. It is during this time before fertilization that Plan B / emergency contraception is most likely to work. Plan B stops ovulation so if sperm do make it into the fallopian tube there is nothing for them to fertilize. Plan B also temporarily changes the cervical fluid that a woman’s body produces, thereby immobilizing and blocking the sperm, which then have a hard time even reaching the uterus, much less the fallopian tube where fertilization takes place. Say a woman wants to get pregnant and has not taken Plan B after she’s had sex. Say a sperm finds

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an egg to fertilize in one of the fallopian tubes. What happens after fertilization? It generally takes three to seven days for the fertilized egg to travel down the fallopian tube and into the uterus. Once the fertilized egg reaches the uterus it can take up to four more days for it to implant into the wall of the uterus. Medical and scientific experts agree that pregnancy begins with implantation. Implantation triggers the release of pregnancy hormones. It is these hormones that are needed to sustain a pregnancy. Fertilization can take place in a Petri dish. Pregnancy cannot because there is nothing for the fertilized egg to attach to in order to sustain itself. In rare cases, the changes that Plan B causes to the uter ine lining wil l inhibit implantation of the fertilized egg. This means it will sometimes prevent implantation from occurring. While this is possible, research has shown that Plan B mostly works by stopping ovulation and / or fertilization. According to the medical definition, pregnancy does not start until after the fertilized egg has implanted in the wall of the uterus and the woman’s body has started to release the pregnancy hormones. When life actually begins is another question altogether. This is a question science may not be able to answer and everyone has the right to their own values. Each of us also has the right to accurate information about how our bodies function and how medical interventions work. Then we can make the best decisions for ourselves about which options we may want to choose, based on how we incorporate medical science into our personal beliefs. Regardless of personal values, it is scientifically wrong to state that Plan B works by shedding a fertilized egg from the uterus (abortion), and that it is therefore an abortion pill.

SEX 411 • • •

Fertilization happens in the fallopian tubes, not the uterus. For pregnancy to be established, the fertilized egg needs to implant into the uterus. If a woman is pregnant Plan B has NO effect on that pregnancy.

Kim Rice and Kate Ruin are professional sex educators. Send them your questions! riceandruin@yahoo.com.

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buzz weekly •

GRAB THAT NET AND CATCH THAT BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY, PAL!

free will astrology SEP. 14 — SEP. 20 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

According to the theory known as Ducharme’s Precept, “Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.” I bet you’ll soon be living proof of that, Aries. An offer or invitation will come your way in a maddeningly inconvenient way. You’ll be tempted to invoke excuses about why you cannot possibly take advantage of it right now. But I hope that instead you leap at the chance with a full and even greedy heart. As annoying as the circumstances might seem, they’re exactly what you need in order to bring out the best in you.

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

As I meditated on your horoscope, I was driving a rented Ford Taurus 90 mph south on California’s I-5. “Give me omens about what Tauruses need to hear,” I asked the Fates. Moments later, a red Infiniti car whizzed by me on the right. The aroma of pig manure from a nearby farm pervaded the air. On the CD player, devotional musician Krishna Das launched a hair-raising hymn to the Goddess. Orange brush strokes appeared in the dusky sky over scissor-shaped mountain peaks, making me feel as if nature had painted a gorgeous canvas for my personal enjoyment. Here’s how I interpret this lush symbolic offering: As you’re gliding along, a message from eternity will speed by you from an unexpected direction. Fertility will be abundant in your life even though it may be pungent. You’ll have rousing contact with a boisterous, masculine form of spirituality. Nature will offer you a gift--a beautiful secret just for you.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

Of all the objects in the world that are made of 22-karat gold, a bathtub in Japan is the biggest. Weighing in at over 300 pounds, it’s in the Funabara Hotel a hundred miles south of Tokyo. I suggest you regard it as your personal symbol of power in the coming week, Gemini. It will remind you to stay true to your task, which is to cleanse yourself extravagantly as you purge your heart of all motivations that aren’t pure gold.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

Those of us born under the sign of Cancer the Crab are sometimes pathologically self-sufficient. We can dole out love in abundance but be conflicted about asking for and accepting the love we need. Keep that warning in mind as you meditate on the following advice: It’s high time to love yourself more and better--to experiment with new strategies for taking care of yourself, nurturing your creativity, and providing yourself with pleasure. Just don’t let this honorable work blind you to the gifts that other people want to bless you with.

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

AQUA R I U S

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

In his book Making Sex: Body and Gender from the Greeks to Freud, historian Thomas Lacquer suggests that the clitoris may have been unknown to male anatomists until 1559. In that year, Renaldus Columbus, a professor at the University of Padua in Italy, announced his discovery of the “seat of woman’s delight,” and declared his right to name it the “sweetness of Venus.” I predict that you will soon ferret out and begin to share in a treasure that, while not quite as momentous as Columbus’, will nonetheless fill you with glee--even if its value has always been known to its original finders.

According to visionary astrologer Elias Lonsdale, the age-old war between good and evil is over. His shocking conclusion: Evil lost. It will take a while for its malignant dominance to ebb away, and the transition time may bring apparent setbacks, but already the momentum has shifted. The forces of good are in ascendancy, and will steadily build a new order in the coming decades. Is Lonsdale’s perspective true? I personally don’t have the wisdom to be able to confirm or deny it. But I do know this: The age-old war between good and evil within you is over, and evil lost. From now on, the forces of beauty, truth, love, and justice will grow in power.

When playing the card game known as bridge, you’re fortunate if you’re dealt no cards of any particular suit. It allows you to use the trump suit to win tricks. There’s an analogous situation in your life right now, Capricorn. A lack of a certain resource can work to your advantage. It will allow you to be a free agent, an X-factor, a wild card. You’ll be able to capitalize on loopholes that aren’t normally available to you. Luck will come to you through what you’re missing.

Last May, workers cleaning up garbage on Britain’s highest mountain made a startling find. There at the top of Mt. Ben Nevis was a piano. How did it get there? Three years earlier, hikers in Indiana’s Yellowwood State Forest stumbled upon an equally inexplicable anomaly: a massive boulder lodged in the topmost branches of an 80-foot-tall chestnut tree. These are your metaphors of the week, Aquarius. I bet that you too will find seemingly out-of-place things in high places. Don’t dismiss them with a flick of your rational mind. Give them a chance to change your thinking about the nature of reality.

PISCES Every year 1.5 million Turkish students take a day-long college entrance exam. It’s a grueling maze of complicated yet often inane questions--an absurd attempt to quantify intelligence with a one-size-fits-all standard of measurement. Three quarters of all students fail, and thus face the prospect of unemployment in a country where only higher education guarantees a decent job. This year a lone rebel rose up in defiance against the oppressive tradition. Sefa Boyar announced he’d strive to give the wrong answer to every question on the multiple-choice test. Naturally, he had to study hard to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally get a few right answers. Be inspired by Boyar, Leo. Resist or subvert the soul-shrinking hocus-pocus of a bunch of humans acting like machines. Unlike Boyar, do it in a way that enhances your chance to achieve success on your own terms.

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

Feb. 19 – March 20

Millard Fillmore was President of the United States from 1850 to 1853. He was the last holder of that office who was neither a Democrat nor Republican. Let’s make him a symbol of freedom from the rigged con game that is America’s two-party political system, as well as an inspiring image for those of you who aspire to rise above every either-or dichotomy. Fillmore will be your mascot as you declare your independence from the dualistic ways of thinking that threaten to ensnare you. He’ll be an emblem that rouses you to transcend the simplistic arguments spewed by fanatical devotees of the Us Versus Them racket. Escape the vise, Pisces. Homework: Imagine you only have 50 years left to live. What’s the main dream you want to accomplish in each of your remaining five decades? Testify at http://freewillastrology.com.

There was one main reason why America’s founding fathers gave Thomas Jefferson, not Benjamin Franklin, the job of composing the Declaration of Independence in 1776. They were afraid that Franklin, a compulsive teaser and trickster, would slip jokes into the document. In my opinion, we Americans would have been better served if Franklin had been chosen and allowed to mess around. After all, even the most profound commitments and weighty situations benefit from the leavening power of humor. Keep that in mind during the oh-so-serious games that are ahead for you, Virgo.

“The time has come to declare the war on terror over,” wrote James Fallows in September’s The Atlantic. “Al-Qaeda’s mistakes, and our successes, have sharply reduced the terrorist network’s ability to harm the United States. Its threat now rests less on what it can do itself than on what it can trick, tempt, or goad us into doing. Its destiny is no longer in its own hands.” In a similar way, Libra, one of your personal enemies has mostly lost the power to hurt you. Its remaining threat resides in what it can trick, tempt, or goad you into doing. To say safe and sane, all you have to do is refuse to get sucked in by your weakened enemy’s ruses.

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PUZZLE pg. 24 INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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I’M SORRY I CALLED YOU WHITE TRASH.

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LIKES AND GRIPES LET IT OUT

ANNETTE GONZALEZ Calendar editor GRIPES 1) B u s t e d i Po d s: I lef t the thing in my purse and something must have put too much pressure on it because now t he d amn clic k wheel doesn’t work — it makes clicky noises at night and won’t shut up. It’ll switch songs while I’m in the middle of “Sexy Back” while I’m walking down the street. I can’t even get my juke on anymore without being interrupted. 2) Turning 20: So I have had the good fortune of seeing another birthday go by last week and while that’s all fine and dandy, I just turned 20 — the worst age ever! I’m too old to go to 18 and over clubs and too young to go to a real bar. It’s such a horrible tease. One more year until I can hang with the cool kids. This blows. 3) Rain: It’s nice when you’re at home, wrapped tightly in your blanket and sleeping through the morning. It’s not so nice when you’re on your way to an early class and it just so happens that you decided to take out your umbrella the night before because your binder wouldn’t fit. Walking through the rain while still picking the crust out of my eye made me realize that I really need a car. ANNA STATHAM Music editor GRIPES 1) Not taking advantage of how many people go to school here: I could complain about this on a political level, but I’m not that revolutionary. I’m talking about buying books. I mean, collectively, we all take the same classes. Why can’t we have a huge underground book sale at the beginning of each semester? And by sale, I mean giveaway. Everyone benefits by only having to buy one semester’s worth of books and just swapping their way through the rest of their college career. 2) “One person can make a difference”: Not true. Every difference-making person has an entourage. 3) The Booze News: Where is the news? MONICA BETEL Designer LIKES 1) Hot Pockets: This p as t we eken d I h a d m y f i r s t H o t P o c ke t and loved it. I’m not sure if that’s saying much, though — I like pretty much anything that’s microwavable and somewhat edible. 2) The Highdive: So this past weekend is the first time I’ve ever been (I’m a freak, I know), and it was pretty sweet. The music rocked and while the drinks were a little pricey, they got the job done (and were delicious at the same time). 3) Ko Fusion: Again, another place I should’ve been too long before my fourth year here. The food was great and the chocolate martini was so good!

AUSTIN HAPPEL Photo editor GRIPES 1) Riding my road bike in the rain: And slipping because I have no traction. And being wet because it’s raining out. 2) Having a car that will only start up when it feels like it: Running errands is NOT FUN. 3) Not being a European rally car driver: I would really like to drive off-road at ridiculous speeds and making mad cash. But ... can’t do that in a car that barely starts. Sigh... MEGHAN WHALEN Copy Chief LIKES 1) English 300: Heroism and National Identity: Our reading list includes Sherlock

Holmes, James B ond, Superman comics and V for Vendetta . It’s my favorite class this semester, and I have a lot of jealous comic book nerd friends. 2) The Girls Next Door on E!: As a straight female (and a feminist, no less), I probably shouldn’t like this show on principle. But I’m addicted, if only because I like to snicker at Holly’s comments about how being on the cover of Playboy is “the ultimate honor.” 3) My boyfriend’s cooking skills: Clam chowder, ribs, lobster — he can do it all. I hate cooking, so this is a very sweet deal. Eating food that isn’t on the McDonald’s dollar menu equals a very happy me. ERIN SCOTTBERG Editor-in-Chief LIKES 1) CUMTD STOPwatch. TXTMSG: That may look like just a bunch of letters strung together, but it’s really one of the most useful components of the MTD’s new STOPwatch services. If you’re at a bus stop that doesn’t have one of those schnazzy LCD displays, you can send a text message to a number on the bus stop and you’ll get a message back that relays when to expect the next bus — and it costs the same as sending a text message to any other number; there are no special charges. I can’t tell you how valuable this is when I’m trying to catch a bus on an unfamiliar route. They also make a widget that does the same thing. Way to talk our language, MTD. 2) Old Saturday Night Live: Think Gilda Radner, Chevy Chase, Jane Curtin, John Belushi, BIll Murray ... they’re actually funny. “Jane, you ignorant slut” or “I’m Chevy Chase, and you’re not” beats “more cowbell” or Mango any day of the week. Thanks to best-of DVDs and YouTube, I can watch the classic skits whenever I want. 3) Nevada Street: This tree-lined cobblestone road has the freshest air in town. Everytime I go down this street I think to myself, “Mmmm, what’s that good smell?” Oh, yeah — it’s earth.

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SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 16

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AND I’M SORRY I CALLED YOU HILLBILLY.

CALENDAR CONTINUED FROM PG.15

venues Assembly Hall | First & Florida, Champaign 333-5000 American Legion Post 24 | 705 W Bloomington, Champaign 356-5144 American Legion Post 71 | 107 N Broadway, Urbana 367-3121 Barfly | 120 N Neil, Champaign 352-9756 Boltini Lounge | 211 N Neil, Champaign 378-8001 Boardman’s Art Theater | 126 W Church, Champaign 351-0068 The Brass Rail | 15 E University, Champaign 352-7512 The Canopy Club (Garden Grill) | 708 S Goodwin, Urbana 3673140 Channing-Murray Foundation | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana CIVITAS | 112 Main St., Urbana The Courtyard | Illini Union, 1401 W Green, Urbana 333-4666 Cowboy Monkey | 6 Taylor, Champaign 398-2688 Curtis Orchard | 3902 S Duncan, Champaign 359-5565 D.R. Diggers | 604 S Country Fair, Champaign 356-0888 Elmer’s Club 45 | 3525 N Cunningham, Urbana 344-3101 Embassy Tavern & Grill | 114 S Race, Urbana 384-9526 Esquire Lounge | 106 N Walnut, Champaign 398-5858 Fallon’s Ice House | 703 N Prospect, Champaign 398-5760 Fat City Saloon | 505 S Chestnut, Champaign 356-7100 The Great Impasta | 114 W Church, Champaign 359-7377 The Highdive

sounds from the scene

| 51 Main, Champaign 359-4444 Huber’s | 1312 W Church, Champaign 352-0606 Illinois Disciples Foundation | 610 E Springfield, Champaign 352-8721 Independent Media Center | 218 W Main, Urbana 344-8820 The Iron Post | 120 S Race, Urbana 3377678 Jackson’s Ribs-n-tips | 116 N First, Champaign 355-2916 Joe’s Brewery | 706 S Fifth, Champaign 384-1790 Krannert Art Museum | 500 E Peabody, Champaign 3331861 Krannert Center for the Performing Arts | 500 S Goodwin, Urbana Tickets: 3336280, 800-KCPATIX La Casa Cultural Latina | 1203 W Nevada, Urbana 333-4950 Lava | 1906 W Bradley, Champaign 352-8714 Les’s Lounge | 403 N Coler, Urbana 3284000 Lincoln Castle | 209 S Broadway, Urbana 344-7720 Malibu Bay Lounge | North Route 45, Urbana 328-7415 Mike ‘n Molly’s | 105 N Market, Champaign 3551236 Nargile | 207 W Clark, Champaign Neil Street Pub | 1505 N Neil, Champaign 359-1601 The Office | 214 W Main, Urbana 344-7608 OPENSOURCE |12 E. Washington, Champaign http://opensource. boxwith.com Parkland College | 2400 W Bradley, Champaign 351-2528 Phoenix |

215 S Neil, Champaign 355-7866 Pia’s of Rantoul | Route 136 E, Rantoul 893-8244 Red Herring/Channing-Murray Foundation | 1209 W Oregon, Urbana 344-1176 Rose Bowl Tavern | 106 N Race, Urbana 3677031 Side Bar | 55 E. Main, Champaign 398-5760 Springer Cultural Center | 301 N Randolph, Champaign 398-2376 Spurlock Museum | 600 S Gregory, Urbana, 3332360 The Station Theatre |223 N Broadway, Urbana 384-4000 Strawberry Fields Cafe | 306 W Springfield, Urbana 328-1655 TK Wendl’s | 1901 S Highcross, Urbana 255-5328 Tommy G’s | 123 S Mattis, Country Fair Shopping Center 359-2177 TRACKS | 116 N Chestnut, Champaign 762-8116 University YMCA | 1001 S Wright, Champaign 344-0721 URBANA CIVIC Center | 108 Water St., Urbana Verde/Verdant | 17 E Taylor, Champaign 366-3204 Virginia Theatre | 203 W Park Ave, Champaign 356-9053 Wake The Dead Cafe | 1210 E. Eldorado St. Decatur 233-4525 Washington Street Pub | 600 S. Washington, Tuscola 253-6850 White Horse Inn | 112 1/2 E Green, Champaign 352-5945 Zorba’s | 627 E Green, Champaign 344-0710

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I’D LIKE TO BE COWBOYS FROM ARIZONA OR PIMPS FROM OAKLAND BUT IT’S NOT HALLOWEEN.

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sounds from the scene