Buzz Magazine: Dec. 1, 2011

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Champaign-Urbana’s community magazine FREE

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week of DECEMBER 1, 2011

corps values  4    hugo review  7    bacaro  8

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buzz

VOL9 NO46

DECEMBER 1, 2011

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IN THIS ISSUE LARPING

6

Better than Skyrim?

POSITIVE VIBES

6

Parkinson’s patients find relief in dance

MUPPETS REVIEW

7

buzz checks out Scorsese’s take

LOW-CAL MUSIC

12

Upcoming local shows

CALENDAR

TV THEMES 9 ON READBUZZ.COM COMMUNITY Got some troubles with your man? Fighting with your momma? No worries, bro! Erin’s got you covered. She’ll answer all your people problems in her relationship column, “Ask Erin!”

MUSIC Head online to see Buzz Basement sessions featuring exclusive live videos with Grandkids, Santah and Ezra Furman!

FOOD & DRINK You don’t have to eat poorly every single night; that’s all in your head. Jasmine gives some good recipes in her column, so make sure to check it out.

MOVIES & TV Check out all the crazy columns we’ve got coming online. Oh, boy! There’s a million of them!

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Go to our fabulous web site to read previews and reviews of local theater productions!

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buzz

10

Your guide to this week’s events in CU

EDITOR’S NOTE DYLAN SUTCLIFF

I haven’t bought them gifts yet, but the next two Thursdays are my mom’s 50th and my sister’s 18th birthdays, respectively. Add on the fact that three Thursdays ago it was my 21st birthday, and that’s a lot of big birthdays in a small amount of time. I always have a hard time finding gifts for people. Usually, I’ll just pop by a thrift store and buy the goofiest thing they have on sale, slap a bow on it and that’s that. As a result, I’ve bought my share of unusable bowling balls, scuba gear and Twilight-themed board games. No one wants those! However, I slowed down on this practice when I realized I’m actually giving them a joke that they’ll have to throw out the next day. I definitely don’t want to gift my family in that vein this year, though. Seeing as they gave me a cat for my birthday that is currently sitting on my lap, I owe them more than a used Creepy Crawlers kit. Serious gifts are always the hardest, especially now that everything can basically be gotten free. Buying CDs or movies is almost pointless when Spotify and Netflix shell out everything for a monthly rate, or even free. Gift cards and cash have even less soul than used bowling balls. At least the bowling balls require more than handing the giftee a meaningless card with a dollar amount written inside. Gift cards especially annoy me, as it usually means a visit to some store I know I’ll feel uncomfortable in. I’ve gone into Pac Sun more than a few times looking for a reason to get rid of the cumbersome plastic card in my wallet only to realize that $20 doesn’t come close. I could get half a shirt I don’t want, a third of some sunglasses I don’t want or one shitty hat. Thank you, nameless Aunt; you’ve made me once again acknowledge the existence of this crappy store and the even crappier people inside. Plus, I always come out smelling like something. I swear, the air in those stores is at least 30% perfume. I’ll have to keep brainstorming for my family. However, how angry can they get if I buy them something they don’t want? As a 21-year-old male, how am I even supposed to guess at what a 50-year-old mother and 18-year-old girl would want? Maybe some used skis…


readbuzz.com   december 1 - 7, 2011

HEADS

UP!

YIKES!!! PEGGY FIORETTI MANAGING EDITOR

YIKES V.A.M.P. at Winter lights festival by Amy Harwath

TALK TO BUZZ

buzz staff

Searching for a stylish and classic party on a Sunday evening? Looking for the last chance of fun before finals week? Then dress up with your flapper or put on your favorite suit and come to Krannert Center for the Winter Lights Festival this Sunday, Dec. 4 From 4-7 p.m. This year, the festival will be a gathering of live jazz music, arts, games, prizes and a costume contest to bring the spirit and the fashion of the Roaring 20s to campus. Artistic Registered Student Organizations (RSOs) will also showcase their work. Among the RSOs will be UIUC V.A.M.P., which stands for Vintage/Analogue/Manual Photographers. The group, founded by alum and freelance photographer Kevin Hsia, specializes in nondigital photography. The aesthetic ranges from stark and minimalist to haunting and nostalgic. The mission of the group is to educate students and promote the relevance of film as an art form. Students who choose to become part of V.A.M.P. have an environment to learn how to shoot film photography and showcase their work at a professional level. In this year’s exhibition with V.A.M.P., you will find photographs saturated with graininess, smudges and light refractions, old black and white prints and lively snap shots. Members of the group exhibiting and selling artwork include Luke Bial, Tim Chao, Michael Lu, Angela Xiao, Sarah Alo, Amanda Jacobs, Claire Everett, Ming Ying, Haolin Zeng and Kelsey Neuhaus. Along with V.A.M.P., the Life Drawing Club and the Illini Film and Video club will also be present. Cover Design  Olivia La Faire Editor in Chief  Dylan Sutcliff Managing Editor Peggy Fioretti Art Director Olivia La Faire Copy Chief  Drew Hatcher Photography Editor  Sean O’Connor Image Editor  Peggy Fioretti Photographers  Sean O’Connor Designers  Lucas Albrecht, Michael Zhang, Tyler Schmidt Music Editor  Adam Barnett Food & Drink Editor  Samantha Bakall Movies & tv Editor  Nick Martin Arts & entertainment Editor  Tracy Woodley Community Editor  Amy Harwath CU Calendar Joyce Famakinwa Copy Editors  Sarah Alo, Casey McCoy online editor Emily Siner Distribution  Brandi and Steve Wills EDITORIAL ADVISER  Marissa Monson Publisher  Lilyan J. Levant On the Web  www.readbuzz.com Email  buzz@readbuzz.com Write  512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 CALL  217.337.3801

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students. © Illini Media Company 2011

» Wieners: Last weekend, I attended a party. The party was fun, and maybe I was just a little too sober to understand the greatness behind it, but at some point, guys started pulling down each other’s pants with the intent to see some wiener. (Maybe this is a normal occurrence for some of you, but it’s never really been a common thing with my friends.) Good for you, man — but I, girl in the corner, was not too thrilled on beholding such flaccidity.

SEAN O’CONNOR PHOTO EDITOR

YIKES

»Emotionally Aggressive /”Hardcore” Video Gamers: Man, you people really freak me out. You know who I’m talking about. You’re the guy lined up outside of Gamestop at midnight waiting to squander $65 on the new Call of Duty game that comes out every 5 months. You’re the dude who sits on a couch and threatens to rape and kill the families of people you meet in “Team Deathmatch” over a stupid little earpiece. You’re the fella with the allegedly “gay” and “retarded” Xbox, an inanimate object that has done nothing to deserve your hatred. Yes. You, my friends, scare me the most. God forbid your kill ratio drop below 2:1, or you erupt into a hurricane of anger and profanity. I was home last week for Thanksgiving and reading V for Vendetta one night when I overheard my youngest brother (PS3 for those of you who want to know) shout, “I’m going to rape your sister!” at the TV. Intrigued, I listened in. He followed up with, “Yeah, suck my chode,” and later, “FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING SLOW-ASS INTERNET!” Why the hostility? I understand frustration when you’re fixed on beating a hard level. Just a few minutes ago, I was playing Super Smash Bros. and I said, “Oh, Captain Falcon, you dummy” to my Wii. But the fury I saw in my brother’s eyes that night made me slightly afraid and mostly annoyed. One time, I called shotgun, and he ran in front of me, got in the front seat, slammed the door and locked it, and shouted “OH PWND N00BZ” through the door, his stupid taunting face pressed against the glass. I wanted to disown him as my brother and murder him right there in the KOHL’S parking lot. »My Grandma on Facebook: Who would’ve thunk such a casual friend request notification could freak me out so much? Gotta remember to start screening my “Jerkin’ it!” status updates. now.

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10 7.1 buzz

3


go in peace

U of I alumni share how the Peace Corps changed their lives

The 50th Year of Promoting Peace & Friendship. Used with permission from Elvert Barnes and the Creative Commons

by Esteban Gast

W

hile seniors are scrambling looking for jobs in a struggling market, one option has received more and more attention to those looking towards the future. Peace Corps, the volunteer program established by John F. Kennedy, places volunteers abroad for a period of 24 months. Volunteers work with local governments and organizations and are teachers as well as entrepreneurs in education, hunger and other fields. Ian McGrath and Patti Kelly are University of Illinois grads and are currently stationed in northern Peru in a town called San Jacinto. They answered some questions in an email interview to inform buzz readers of what exactly is involved in the Peace Corps. » buzz: What made you want to be a Peace Corps Volunteer? Ian McGrath: It was a combination of a few things. The idea of being able to put what I had spent the last four years studying — water systems and environmental engineering — into practice in places that needed it most was very appealing. That combined with traveling and learning a new culture is really what made me decide to join the Peace Corps. » buzz: Can you explain your experience? IM: My Peace Corps experience started with the application, which was a long and arduous process. After accepting the invitation and arriving in the country, I had 10 weeks of intensive language, culture and technical training. It was very tiring. Stepping into a new culture is incredibly stressful. Having to actively concentrate on everything and every word that is spoken is 4

buzz

exhausting. My host family could always tell when I was getting tired because I would begin to understand less and less of what they were saying until I just couldn’t understand anything and had to go to bed. That perpetual state of exhaustion probably lasted a full year. After a year in site — in my case the north coast of Peru, about a half hour away from beautiful beaches and the Pacific — I was more at ease, and time moved faster. My site didn’t really have the opportunity of working in water, so I had to focus more on trash management and various interesting pet projects (youth groups, a community garden, rehabilitating the library, etc.) Overall, it was new experience after new experience. I have eaten strange foods (various cow organs and parts, “cuy” aka guinea pigs), enjoyed countless drinking circles at town cumbia bailes, sat atop majestic Incan ruins, made amazing friends, built a few bathrooms, had my fair share of near death experiences riding in public transportation, been to and bet on bull and cock fights, camped at over 14,000 ft. in the Andes, swung on a vine Tarzanstyle, skinny dipped in the Pacific, played countless games of soccer and volleyball with the local kids, translated innumerable Spanish words to English, and most recently, with the support of friends and family back home, I have built a library. » buzz: How has it impacted you as a person? How did the University of Illinois prepare you/motivate you? IM: This experience has certainly changed my outlook on life and how I see my place in it. It has given me Zen-like patience and flexibility. People tend to be between 45 minutes and 3 hours late to meetings here. I am more open to and respectful of different

cultures, ideas and lifestyles. It has given me a global outlook in which I don’t see America as the center of the universe. At the same time, I have developed a deeper sense for the value of community. For me, the personal growth aspect has been the most rewarding. Peace Corps gives you prodigious amounts of time to think and really get inside your head and address those deeper questions that don’t tend to get addressed in the faster-paced American way of life. It gives you time to reflect. » buzz: What are your plans after the Peace Corps? IM: I plan to return home and soak in my family and friends that I haven’t seen in two years. After that I would like to travel for a while in Southeast Asia. When I return, I would ideally find a consulting job that had a focus on development work. Patti Kelly was stationed in Lindi, Tanzania between 1966-1968 with her husband Tom. Her reflection on her Peace Corps experience shows the memories that came from studying abroad at a time when our nation and its politics were at a pivotal point. » buzz: What role did you have as a Peace Corps Volunteer? Patti Kelly: We were in the southern region of Tanzania, which was one of the poorest areas. A plane came in, and you couldn’t get out, and you couldn’t drive out of the southern area except for three months of the year because the roads were so bad. A plane flew in once a week, so [if there was] any medical emergency, you were kind of in trouble. I taught typing and other office practices, like how to interview and all that. I could look out of my classroom and look into the Indian Ocean.

» buzz: What are some interesting experiences you had? PK: I came back from siesta ... and the kids were all staring at me, and tears were streaming down their face. I said, “What’s wrong?” and Martin Luther King, Jr. had been assassinated. They were the ones that told us, ‘cause they were listening to the radio. We were also there when Bobby Kennedy was assassinated. The headmaster actually lowered the Tanzanian flag for MLK and Bobby Kennedy. At that time, the USA was so respected, we would go visit our students in the villages, and they would have a picture of the President of Tanzania, and on one side was MLK and the other JFK. The respect for the USA was unbelievable. Then we got into the Vietnam War, and they were very against the Vietnam War. We wanted to extend for a third year and keep working for Peace Corps, and Tanzania did not keep any Americans in the country due to the involvement in the war. The Peace Corps office at the University is a good resource for those looking to get involved. According to Ashlee McLaughlin at the Peace Corps office, 67 U of I alumni served in the Peace Corps in 2010, “making UIUC the 15th largest producer of Peace Corps volunteers for that year,” McLaughlin said. As a result of their time in the Peace Corps, “volunteers return to the states as more informed global citizens, with leadership, cross-cultural understanding, and language and technical skills that position them well for a variety of different professional and academic opportunities.”

For more information and to apply online, visit www.peacecorps.gov.


readbuzz.com   December 1-7, 2011

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arts

&

entertainment

Everybody’s doing the larp

DECEMBER ABLUM

RELEASES

Metropolis, Vampires, and the possibility of your soul being eaten at any point— now that’s an intense role-play.

by Adam Barnett

by Corinne Ruff

A

long with 99% of the U of I student population, you may be asking, “What exactly is LARP?” LARP stands for Live-Action-Role-Play. It’s best described as an intensive form of fantasy improv. You may be thinking these are the guys that run around with swords challenging one another to a casual dual. The Metagamers, however, tend to favor capes over tights. The Metagamer president Mark Slattery describes the club as a facilitator for gamers of all kinds. “You can’t just go up to people on the quad and ask them if they want to role-play with you. That’s weird because they most likely don’t.” Although after sitting in on one of their events, I don’t see why anyone wouldn’t want to join. The game is designed around the choice of a specific character. This character can be anything you want. It can have horns, glowing eyes, superstrength or even the ability to speak Russian, as one girl gloats. What Jacob Baran says when asked why he enjoys LARP-ing is, “I’m a mechanical engineer… it’s so nice to escape my life for a few hours and

become someone completely different. Plus, you get to run through monsters and kill things. Who wouldn’t want to do that?” Once you start LARP-ing, you may never stop. The club just recently restarted the game at the beginning of the semester, ending a fourconsecutive-year game. This puts significant pressure on your choice of character. One false move, and you’re stuck for the rest of your gaming career, or at least until you die and come back as someone else. Intense gaming is not all slaying dragons and rescuing damsels. It can lead to many injuries, as well. I spoke with one man whose costume sported a one-glove statement. When I asked of the meaning, he slid off the glove to display a deep red wound in the middle of his hand: “Yeah, analog games get really intense sometimes...” After meeting with the LARP-ers what I’ve gathered is that the club is so much more than the silly, nerdy game it’s usually classified as. LARP-ing is a continuous improv made up of a compilation of scenes, which may go on for up

December 6

LARP weapons. Used with permission from Will Merydith and the Creative Commons

to four hours on any given night. It isn’t the sort of acting that is preconceived, memorized and performed for the laughs of an expecting audience. This is just for them. It’s a form of expression and release from the long, hard week of college students on the brink of collapse. While some students bake, pleasure read, take naps or go out to the bars, these students escape to a fantasy world all their own — free of the pressure of labs, midterms, and papers.

DANCE FOR PEOPLE WITH PARKINSON’S by Imani Brooks

6

buzz

Parkinson’s Disease is a brain disorder that mostly affects adults over 50 years old and causes symptoms of shaking, stiffness, and loss of control of body movements and walking. But with the stretching and body movements the workshop teaches, the people attending the workshop expressed improvements in their disease. “I always describe the class as a breath of fresh air,” class member Gretchen Potter said. “It gives me my body back, and I feel like I have more control.” Potter, who is 65 years old, has dealt with the disease for 26 years, and was one of the youngest patients at Carle hospital with the disease in 1981 at age 39. “I was in tears, but the doctor was excited,” Potter said. The workshop also serves as a support group for some of the members afflicted by Parkinson’s disease, such as former University English teacher Johnathan Milton. “The class is an upper, in addition to the physical activity,” Milton said. “All of the people are upbeat and passionate.” Milton, age 72, was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 1996 and is suffering with being “in decline” of the disease, but claims the workshop does overall good for his physical and mental health.

December 13 » Juvenile – Rejuvenation (UTP, Rap-a-Lot) » Keller Williams – Bass (SCI Fidelity) » The Lower 48 – Where All Maps End (Selfrelease) » Nero – Welcome Reality (Cherrytree/Interscope) » Radical Dads – Mega Rama; vinyl rerelease (Loud Baby Sounds)

Krannert support group uses dance as relief The Dance for People with Parkinson’s disease workshop offers an uplifting treatment for people with Parkinson’s disease. The workshop, which was originally founded by the Mark Morris Dance Company, was held last Friday at 10 a.m. at the Krannert Center for the Performing Arts. “Its not an exercise class. It’s a dance class,” dance instructor Katy Kuper said. “People don’t come here to work out. They come for mental and physical relief.” The program, which was created in 2001, helps people with Parkinson’s disease regain body control through interpretive stretching and easy dance steps of ballet and ballroom dancing. The music of the workshop is of an older genre, ranging from classical to polka to Broadway to music from the 1940s. “We want to play music that the dancers can relate to,” piano accompanist Beverly Hilmer said. “We try to evoke the whole mind-body connection through the music.” Originally founded in Brooklyn in 2001, the program expanded in 2005, teaching at the Krannert Center once a year until 2009. After noticing the popularity of the event, professional dance instructors Katy Kuper and Marianne Jarvi studied with the Mark Morris Dance group and teach the class here every month.

» The Black Keys – El Camino (Nonesuch) » The Cure – Bestival Live 2011 (Play It Again Sam) » The Dead Milkmen – The King in Yellow (QUID ERGO) » Goldmund – All Will Prosper (Western Vinyl) » Jesus Lizard – Club Soundtrack (Chunklet. com) » Mwahaha – Mwahaha (Mwahaha) » T-Pain – rEVOLVEr (Nappy Boy, RCA) » The Mighty Mighty Bosstones – The Magic of Youth (Big Rig) » The Roots – Undun (Def Jam) » Thee American Revolution – Buddha Electrostorm (Fire)

December 20 Photo by Imani Brooks

“Everyone here is supportive and optimistic, which helps,” Milton said. 25 people usually attend the workshop, over the age of 40, although people of all ages are recommended to attend.

» Common – The Dream, The Believer (Warner Bros., Think Common) » Young Jeezy – Thug Motivation 103: Hustlerz Ambition (Def Jam, Corporate Thugz)


What’s your favorite typeface?

movie review

PG

hugo

December 1-7, 2011

by Nick Martin

SEE IT

Used with permission from Paramount Pictures

I

n the winter of 1896, Auguste and Louis Lumiere premiered one of the world’s first movies, The Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat Station. The fifty-second film shows exactly what its title promises: a train pulling into a station. While plain to modern tastes, a locomotive powering across the silver screen scared the pantaloons right off the nineteenth-century audiences unaccustomed to the realism of film. A scene in Hugo (also in the trailer) pays homage to the Lumieres, but also injects 21st century Real™ 3-D techno-vision — a subtle commentary on the progress of the medium (even more realistic today, but nobody loses their pantaloons). The promotional material for Hugo advertised

the typical pre-teen world of magical wonder, a knock-off Narnia or The Golden Compass 2: The Clock; instead, Scorsese delivers a surprisingly personal film about coming of age, cinema history and the profundity of creation. I liked it, but I think kids might be bored by all the two-hour running time and the watchmaking metaphors. The eponymous Hugo (Asa Butterfield) is an orphan who lives inside the steam tunnels of a French metro station. After Hugo’s family of clockmakers dies, Hugo uses his inherited tinkering abilities and winds the station’s giant clocks for a warm place to sleep and store the automaton his father gave him. Since orphans are not conducive to railway commutes, a security guard

with a leg brace (Sacha Baron Cohen) constantly tries to catch Hugo and his robot. With the help of a precocious blond girl, Isabelle, (Chloë Grace Moretz), Hugo learns the robot is related to a famous French filmmaker from the early 20th century — and then the movie becomes a movie about movies. For 3-D, there’s hardly any explosions or climatic fight scenes! Of course, this is one of Hugo’s biggest strengths. Scorsese uses 3-D for depth and dimension, not cheap pop-outs or literal 4th wall breaks. Pan shots of gears grinding, clocks chiming and machines in motion give Hugo a kinetic aesthetic. Like a clock, the motion is purposeful — Hugo and his family are watchmakers, after all (it doesn’t take a deist to see the significance of a world founded on a well-calculated order). Also remember: Scorsese is dissecting early cinema history by juxtaposing cutting-edge filmmaking of the 21st century. It’s pretty lofty stuff. It hardly feels like a kids movie: if the intellectual rigor isn’t enough to scare the kids away, maybe the dreary setting of the Great Depression or the adults who all seem to despise children will. Yet, Hugo is more significant in the genre of Scorsese than family-friendly classics. Hugo is a boy obsessed with watching, tinkering and creation. It’s hard not to draw parallels to little Marty — a sickly child stuck watching his peers from a bedroom window — dreaming of the escapes of filmmaking. Who knew the guy who made Mean Streets would finish out his career making a kids movie that reaffirms the narrative magic of film while proving 3-D doesn’t have to be a gimmick?

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SAVOY 16 movie review

PG

the muppets

by Nick Martin

SEE IT

Used with permission from Disney Enterprises

Since it’s a reboot and nobody’s going to space or Manhattan, a room full of high-powered Disney executives needed to name the new Muppet movie. They chose The Muppets: boring, but signifies the film is about the idea of Muppets (and Muppetry, and Muppeteering) as much as it is a family friendly musical comedy. The essentials are present — the punfun and wordplayfulness, the hip self-aware irreverence, and most important to Disney, the sweet billions in collectable tin lunchboxes — but it’s refracted through the point-of-view of adult super-fans fully aware Muppets haven’t been relevant since the internet got cool. In fact, that’s the central conceit of the movie.

To show how awesome the Muppets used to be, we see the childhood of our non-Muppet protagonists, Walter (a puppet) and Gary (Jason Segel) saturated with Muppet movies and merchandise. Walter loves the Muppets because he’s a puppet, and the Muppets are one of the few positive media portrayals of puppet POV (time-out: wouldn’t it be weird if puppets were both cognizant and a disenfranchised minority?); Gary loves the Muppets because he’s a dork without much personality who’s just along for the ride (which makes the equally boring girlfriend, Mary, [Amy Adams] the perfect match). While lame, these characters set the impetus for a Muppet reunion after they hear an evil oil tycoon wants to bulldoze the Muppet

theater for oil (typical Muppet dilemma: the drama isn’t in the reason for the show — the drama is the show itself). The show allows the Muppets to postulate what it takes to be popular in the ultra-fickle Internet Epoch by doing exactly what it takes to be popular in said epoch: like hiring obsessive Muppet fans who are musical and funny (remember Segel’s vampire puppet musical in Forgetting Sarah Marshall? Or did you know director James Bobin co-created Flight of the Conchords?); hiring cameos both broad and niche (including Chicago musician extraordinaire Andrew Bird in the final act, Jack Black in his funniest role since School of Rock and even The Guy With The Beard from The Hangover!); and an aggressive viral marketing campaign (Muppet parodies of iconic movie posters; viral videos and trailers; Miss Piggy). The Muppets is quite “meta,” like the teens say. But, as evidenced by the bored four-year-olds sitting next to me, children always fail to realize the Muppets’ sophistication. Let’s not forget — the not-quite-mops, not-quite-puppets were media savvy and postmodern long before 2011 (The Muppet Show is a show about putting on a vaudevillian puppet show [much more interesting than actual vaudevillian puppet shows], for Henson’s sake!) The Muppets’ genius — the playful absurdism, the biting commentary on celebrity and even a type of moral altruism — is spoken through the mouth of a frog that plays banjo and a bear that wears a floppy hat. The screenwriters, directors and Disney recognize Muppet magic, and that’s how they make a great Muppet movie.

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POKEMON THE MOVIE: WHITE-VICTINI AND ZEKROM SAT 12/3 & SUN. 12/4 11:00 AM METROPOLITAN OPERA: RODELINDA LIVE SAT. 12/3 11:30 AM ST. OLAF CHRISTMAS FESTIVAL LIVE SUN. 12/4 2:30 PM CHICAGO PRESENTS AN EVENING OF HOLIDAY MUSIC AND GREATEST HITS TUE. 12/6 7:00 PM METROPOLITAN OPERA: SATYAGRAHA ENCORE WED. 12/7 6:30 PM & THUR. 12/8/ 1:00 PM

3D ARTHUR CHRISTMAS (PG) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET

11:10, 1:25, 3:50, 6:10, 8:30 FRI/SAT LS 11:00 ARTHUR CHRISTMAS (PG) 11:40, 2:00, 4:20, 6:40, 9:05 FRI/SAT LS 11:25 THE MUPPETS (PG) LIGHTS UP SOUND DOWN - SAT. 12/3 - 10:00 AM FRI, MON-TH 11:00, 12:30, 1:30, 3:00, 4:00, 5:30, 6:30, 8:00, 9:00 FRI/SAT LS 10:45, 11:30 SAT-SUN 11:00, 1:30, 3:00, 4:00, 5:30, 6:30, 8:00, 9:00 S 3D HUGO (PG) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 12:45, 3:30, 6:15, 9:00 FRI/SAT LS 11:45 S HUGO (PG) 11:05, 1:45, 4:25, 7:15, 10:00 TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN - PART 1 (PG-13) FRI-SUN, TUE-TH 11:00, 11:20, 12:00, 1:35, 1:55, 2:35, 4:10, 4:30, 5:10, 6:45, 7:05, 7:45, 9:20, 9:40, 10:20 FRI/SAT LS 11:55 MON 11:00, 11:20, 1:35, 1:55, 4:10, 4:30, 6:45, 7:05, 9:20, 9:40 S FRI, MON 11:40, 2:15, 4:50, 7:25, 10:00 S SAT 4:50, 7:25, 10:00 S SUN, TH 7:25, 10:00 S TUE 11:40, 2:15, 10:00 S WED 11:40, 2:15 S 3D HAPPY FEET TWO (PG) $2.50 PREMIUM PER 3D TICKET 2:20, 9:25 FRI/SAT LS 11:40 S HAPPY FEET TWO (PG) 12:00, 4:40, 7:00 S JACK AND JILL (PG) 11:05, 1:15, 3:25, 5:35, 7:40, 9:55 FRI/SAT LS 12:05 J. EDGAR (R) 1:05, 4:05, 6:55, 9:50 IMMORTALS (R) 11:55, 2:30, 5:05, 7:30, 10:05 TOWER HEIST (PG-13) 12:20, 2:40, 5:00, 7:20, 9:35 FRI/SAT LS 12:00 S A VERY HAROLD & KUMAR CHRISTMAS (R) 9:15 FRI/SAT LS 11:15 S PUSS IN BOOTS (PG) 12:35, 2:45, 4:55, 7:10

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7


Food

&

Drink

Fresh Digs Chef Thad Morrow serves up fresh food from local farmers by Sam Bakall

T

had Morrow, the 39-year-old, tattooed chef and owner of Bacaro Wine Lounge in downtown Champaign, sits in the front of his restaurant talking about how fresh, local produce inspires his cooking and drives his restaurant’s menu. He walks around the restaurant, stopping at the large produce fridge to look inside. The shelves brim with fresh veggies still coated in dirt from nearby farmers and a bucket of oyster mushrooms from Clay Bank Farm in Olney, 109 miles south of the kitchen. Bacaro, Morrow’s fine dining, local produce-inspired restaurant, opened nearly 10 years ago in November 2001. The restaurant and menu have changed significantly from a small wine bar offering crostini and paninis to a restaurant that expresses its Italian influences with full entrées and pastas. “Thad has been one of those long-term restaurateurs downtown that really started the business downtown early on in its revitalized history,” said TJ Blakeman, the executive director of the Champaign Center Partnership. “He brings some really good fine dining and really elevates the dining experience in downtown.” Morrow recently took over Carmon’s, a French restaurant that served crepes, and transformed it into a French bistro-style restaurant. The chef? A protégé of Morrow’s. “I really liked the space,” he said. “I didn’t want to see it be vacant for a long time.” Born in Jacksonville, near Illinois’ state capital, Morrow learned to cook with his mom. While other kids were playing soccer or baseball, Morrow was paging through his mother’s Bon Appétit magazines and contemplating his next Jell-O concoction, he said. “I liked putting things together. Ingredients seemed like I was putting a puzzle together, and the end product was a cake,” Morrow said. “I was fascinated by recipes, magazines and building things.” Morrow’s interest in cooking continued through college at Indiana University where he studied public policy and environmental science from 1990 to 1995 and washed dishes at a local French restaurant. He had worked there for three years, slowly moving his way up, when he decided to go to culinary school after college. “I looked at Cordon Bleu in Paris, but the Culinary Institute of America seemed like the place to go,” Morrow said. “My parents were really into it; they put up very little resistance. Now they’re even happier because my dad gets to eat for free for life.” Morrow’s career began with an internship at Charlie Trotter’s in Chicago in 1997, but he flunked out. He had to finish his internship for the Culinary Institute of America and ended up working with Mario Batali in New York at Pó.

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While working with the celebrity chef, Morrow got the idea of opening a restaurant. “He [Mario] really wanted me to work with him in New York, but I went back and finished cooking school,” he said. Fresh out of school, Morrow took a job with a friend in Champaign. Morrow’s childhood hobby, which started with making Jell-O, ended up as a career. “He was opening up a wine shop and offered me some money to come and help set the shop up. I was broke ... so I moved here and never left,” he said. The menu at Bacaro changes daily, depending on what is available, seasonally and locally. “We get so much local stuff in that it’s easy to cook because we get a great option of beautiful [ingredients], like fresh squashes, and when it comes in, the cooks are like, ‘Oh, that’s easy to cook with,’ because it’s inspiring to see that,” Morrow said. “It’s not coming from a Cryovac box. When the guy drops it off, you can see him.” Morrow’s commitment to using fresh, local ingredients reflects his belief that the flavor in local goods is better and that it’s more fun to work with local farmers than ordering from a big company. “I went to Carmon’s for a preview, and half the guys and girls eating were farmers — He grew the chicken, she raised the eggs, he did the greens,” he said, pointing to where they were sitting at the table. “It’s very interesting to cook that community way. That’s what we like, and that’s what gets us going and inspired.” Mel Farrell, a board member of the Flatlander Food Foundry and alumna of the University of Illinois, has been going to Bacaro since it opened nearly 10 years ago. “When I first went, it was to get a glass of wine,” she said. “Then he started ramping up his menu as he morphed into a sit-down, entrée-type restaurant. We kept coming because we liked his food.” The local quality of the food at Bacaro was another aspect of the restaurant that kept Farrell coming back. “What I really like is called ‘Market Monday,’” she said. “It’s a perfect way to incorporate really good cooking with what’s available locally, which is what I’m all for. “ She said the food scene has changed dramatically and that Morrow was one of the first chefs in town to cook consistently with local ingredients. Bacaro’s enormous wine selection, roughly 300 wines, is a testament to Morrow’s love for wine, which started in a wine class at Indiana University. “The guy [who taught the course] was a throwback from the South, would say, ‘liter-a-toor, temper-a-toor.’ He would teach

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FOR MEN An introductory class with emphasis on creating flexibility, maintaining fitness for sports as well as reducing fatigue and for prostate health.

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private lessons at his house, and we would explore Bordeaux and Burgundy,” Morrow said. “I just loved it.” But “it wasn’t really popular to be a sommelier [wine steward].” The name of the restaurant was also inspired by his love of wine and a trip to Venice with a friend. “Bacaro or bacari are wine bars in and around Venice ... we found ourselves going to a lot of them,” he said. “She thought it would be a great name for a restaurant.” Morrow also designed and built the interior of the restaurant. “I built the wine racks, bar top, table tops, everything you see,” he said, looking at his restaurant. “Hand-built by me and a buddy.” The kitchen staff used to be only Morrow, his chef Mike Miller and a dishwasher for three years. Now, they’ve added two people to help with cooking and preparation. “You’re cooking for 180 people, and there’s only four of you back there,” Morrow said. “Mike used to have hair,” he joked as we walked through the kitchen. “Now you know why he’s bald.” The future of Bacaro, says Morrow, involves less and less of him working in the kitchen. “For me, the future is taking younger cooks and putting them in charge in the back and letting them do their thing,” he explained. “I want to move people forward that are cooking here ... kind of let young cooks have a place downstate where we can foster an area and community of really cool restaurants.”

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MUSIC

December 1-7, 2011

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Made for tv Four of our favorite theme songs by buzz Music Staff

» Theme: “The Ballad of Gilligan’s Isle” Written by Sherwood Schwartz and George Wyle Performed by The Wellingtons (Season One) There are fewer more beloved theme songs than that of Gilligan’s Island. With the help of constant reruns on Saturday mornings and TV Land, the theme song officially known as “The Ballad of Gilligan’s Isle” has been embraced by generations. I’m sure most people could walk into a crowded room singing, “Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip” and have everyone respond with “that started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship.” Yet, while everyone knows the story of the “three-hour tour,” few may know the ties that this song has to Champaign-Urbana. After co-writing the song, producer Sherwood Schwartz and composer George Wyle were looking for a group to help salvage the twice-failed pilot. They settled upon a group called The Wellingtons, who they found through folk singer Terry Gilkyson. The Wellingtons were three students from The University of Illinois, Champaign native George Patterson, Kirby Johnson and Urbana native Ed Wade. The three met while participating in the Men’s Glee Club at the University and shortly formed their own group called The Continentals. Soon thereafter, they moved to California and changed their name to The Lincolns only to change it once again to The Wellingtons. Their version of the song was famous as being the theme song for the first season of the show, which ended with the line, “and the rest.” Their version was replaced after Bob Denver (Gilligan) demanded that Dawn Wells and Russell Johnson be “promoted” from supporting cast to a part of the main cast, which required a new recording of the theme song by a different group. The second version thus ended with the line, “the professor and Mary Ann.” Gilligan’s Island was not yet finished with the Wellingtons, as the show recruited them in addition to Les Brown Jr. to play “Bingo, Bango, Bongo” and “Irving of The Mosquitoes” in the second season episode “Don’t Bug the Mosquitoes.” Put that in your CU music history books. —Adam Thies » Theme: “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” Written/performed by Will Smith Music/composition by QD3 When thinking of a great theme song, one need look no further than the theme song of a show that defined a generation — a theme song that everyone knows the words to and everyone loves to sing. Of course, I’m referring to “The Fresh Prince of BelAir.” Will Smith may have flopped on some of his other songs (“Switch,” anyone?), but “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” was an instant hit with a catchy beat and that famous 90s hip-hop flair. It was an anthem for kids and remains that way as the re-runs that continue to air. Through Smith’s story of his troubled life in West Philadelphia and his move to a new home in Bel-Air with his privileged cousins, he was able to captivate the youth and even have them rapping along, “Yo, homes, smell ya later!” Even those who have never seen the show or aren’t fans can recognize

the theme. If the song alone doesn’t do it for you, try out the video with 90s apparel, graffiti and cheesy acting galore. It’ll get you to your kingdom ­— you’re finally there — singing along with “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.” —Maisie Sackett Fun fact: A full version of the song hit the Netherlands in 1992 and went to Number Three on the charts. » Theme: “Pokemon Theme” Written/Produced by John Loeffler Co-produced/arranged by John Siegler Vocals: Jason Paige Guitars: Larry Saltzman, David Rolfe Background Vocals: Kati Mac, Jason Paige, John Loeffler, Ken Cummings, Louis Cortelezzi No song in the world brings back my childhood memories better than the Pokemon theme song. If I were a betting man, I’d bet that at least 90 percent of the readers out there could fill in the blanks. “I want to be the __ __, like no one ever was.” It’s the best theme I’ve ever heard because the lyrics evoke a certain sense of courageousness and self-fulfillment as well as an air of mystery. It places importance on friendship, persistence and purity of heart. With lyrics like: “You teach me, and I’ll teach you/Pokemon, gotta catch ‘em all,” the song makes known to the audience that leading a fulfilling life is based on the concept that sharing is caring. Ultimately, it reminds me of the good ‘ole days. I know I’ve grown up, but there will always be a little eight-year-old boy jumping up and down singing along with the song when it’s played. —Jeremy Lin

Cast photo of Gilligan's Island

» Theme: “Rugrats” Written and performed by Mark Mothersbaugh While the theme from Rugrats doesn’t necessarily have the most complicated melody or structure, it’s an incredible and easily recognized tune that aired for ten years on television’s most popular kids network, Nickelodeon. Ascending and descending on major and minor thirds, the main melody is accompanied by a bass line of talk-box synthesizer (ever-present throughout the series itself), subtle guitar fills and some super strange samples, among other things. All this happens while Tommy, Chuckie and the rest of the tykes are crawling around the Pickles’ living room and fighting giant robot cats. It’s all very peculiar, and that’s because the music for the show was composed by none other than Devo cofounder Mark Mothersbaugh (his younger brother and band mate Bob Mothersbaugh also helped compose for the series). Mothersbaugh also scored for Wes Anderson on films like The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou and The Royal Tenenbaums, and even Disney Original Movie Halloweentown II: Calibar’s Revenge (whaaaat?). It’s a relatively simple melody to learn, too. Grab a keyboard, set your metronome to 100 bpm, put your first and third fingers on C and E respectively, and go at it in the key of C. Get creative and do it in a diaper; that’s what I do. —Adam Barnett The Rugrats

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9


CALENDAR

DECEMBER 1-7, 2011

Complete listing available at

THE217.COM/CALENDAR

SUBMIT YOUR EVENT TO THE CALENDAR: Online: forms available at the217.com/calendar • E-mail: send your notice to calendar@the217.com • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

THURSDAY 1 Art & other exhibits Art @ the Y presents ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ University YMCA 9am Celebrating the King James Bible at 400 Exhibit U of I Main Library 8:30 am Warriors Guardians and Demons Spurlock Museum 9am Watercolors Photos and Drawings by Michael Fuerst 133 West Main 8am Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion 9am Astral Convertible Stage Set Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion 9am

Classes lectures & workshops

Lunchtime Express Core with Maggie Taylor Amara Yoga & Arts, 12pm

Weekday Orthodox Minyan and Breakfast The Hillel Foundation — Miscellaneous The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for JewYarn ‘n Yak ish Life 7:30am Rantoul Public Library, 7pm Makeba! Krannert Art Museum and IUBazaar Winter Craft Fair Kinkead Pavilion Illini Union, 10am 9am

Live music & karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Memphis on Main, 9pm Infected Mushrooms Canopy Club, 9pm Bentley’s Thursday Night Karaoke Bentley’s Pub, 3pm DJ Ollie & DJ Hot Saus Highdive, 10pm

Mind body & spirit Counseling Center Among Women Support Group Asian American Cultural Center, 6:30pm

Sports games & recreation

Bingo for Silly Prizes Mike ‘n Molly’s, 9:30pm

FRIDAY 2 Arts & other exhibits

Warriors Guardians and Demons Spurlock Museum, 9am Watercolors Photos and Drawings by Michael Fuerst 133 West Main, 8am Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, 9am Astral Convertible Stage Set Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, 9am

DJ Tommy Williams Chester Street, 9pm Karaoke w/ DJ Bange Phoenix, 9pm

Classes lectures & workshops

Sports games & recreation

VOICE Reading Series Krannert Art Museum and Art @ the Y presents Kinkead Pavilion, 7:30pm ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ Makeba! University YMCA, 9am Krannert Art Museum and Lunchtime Express Power Kinkead Pavilion, 9pm Flow with Certified Yoga Teacher Amanda Reagan Live music & karaoke Amara Yoga & Arts, 12pm Celebrating the King ‘Appy Hour James Bible at 400 Silvercreek, 5:30pm Exhibit DJ Delayney U of I Main Library, 8:30am Highdive, 10pm

Mind body & spirit Friday Night Live Champaign-Urbana Jewish Federation, 6:45pm Community Yoga with Rebekah Deter Amara Yoga & Arts, 7pm

Movies & theater Auntie Mame Gregory Hall, 8pm

Open Gym Volleyball Champaign County Brookens Administration Center, 5:30pm

To Grandmother’s House We Go! Museum of the Grand Prairie, 2pm

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Movies & theater Auntie Mame Gregory Hall, 8pm

SUNDAY 4 Art & other exhibits

Art @ the Y presents ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ University YMCA, 9am Celebrating the King James Bible at 400 Exhibit SATURDAY 3 U of I Main Library, 8:30am Warriors Guardians and Art & other exhibits Demons Art @ the Y presents Spurlock Museum, 12pm ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ Watercolors Photos and University YMCA, 9am Drawings by Michael Makeba! Fuerst Krannert Art Museum and 133 West Main, 8am Kinkead Pavilion, 9am Astral Convertible Stage Celebrating the King James Set Bible at 400 Exhibit Krannert Art Museum and U of I Main Library, 8:30am Kinkead Pavilion, 2pm Warriors Guardians and Makeba! Demons Krannert Art Museum and Spurlock Museum, 10am Kinkead Pavilion, 2pm Watercolors Photos and Live music & Drawings by Michael karaoke Fuerst 133 West Main, 8am Open Mic Nite Jerusalem Saved! Inness Phoenix, and the Spiritual Land7pm scape Jerusalem Saved! Inness Krannert Art Museum and and the Spiritual LandKinkead Pavilion, 9am scape Astral Convertible Stage Krannert Art Museum and Set Kinkead Pavilion, 2pm Krannert Art Museum and Miscellaneous Kinkead Pavilion, 9am Big Homie presents Open Live music & Mic Night karaoke Phoenix, 7pm Jazz Music by Panache Sports games & Jim Gould Restaurant, 7pm Snow Globe & The Parade recreation of Lights Big Dave’s Trivia Orpheum Children’s Science Cowboy Monkey, 7pm Museum, 2pm

Miscellaneous

10

Kids Yoga Amara Yoga & Arts, 10:30am Saturday Physics “Inside Out: How Physics Has Revolutionized Medical Imaging” Loomis Lab, 10:15am Kids@Krannert Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, 10am

Celebrating the King James Bible at 400 Exhibit U of I Main Library, 8:30am Watercolors Photos and Drawings by Michael Fuerst 133 West Main, 8am

Classes lectures & workshops Poetry Workshop Red Herring Coffeehouse, 7:30pm MELD: Monday Evening Life Drawing Group McGown Photography, 7pm Refuse To Be A Victim Robeson Building, 6pm

Live music & karaoke 80’s Night w/ DJ Mingram Highdive, 10pm Abe Froman Project Monday Night Improv/ Rockstar Karaoke Mike ‘n Molly’s, 9pm Electro/Industrial Night Chester Street, 9pm One Dollar Wild Mondays Canopy Club, 10pm

Mind body & spirit Hatha Yoga with Grace Giorgio Amara Yoga & Arts, 5:30pm

Movies & theater Monday Night Comedy Illini Union, 7pm

Sports games & recreation Bingo Night Memphis on Main, 10pm

TUESDAY 6 Art & other exhibits

Art @ the Y presents ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ University YMCA, 9am Celebrating the King James Bible at 400 Exhibit U of I Main Library, 8:30am MONDAY 5 Warriors Guardians and Demons Art & other exhibits Spurlock Museum, 12pm Art @ the Y presents Watercolors Photos and ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ Drawings by Michael University YMCA, Fuerst 9am 133 West Main, 8am

Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, 9am Astral Convertible Stage Set Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, 9am

Classes lectures & workshops Revive Restore Relax: Weston Wellness Weston Residence Hall, 3pm Slow Flow Yoga with Amanda Reagan Amara Yoga & Arts, 5:30pm Makeba! Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, 9am

Live music & karaoke DJ Hot Saus Highdive, 10pm RockStarz Karaoke- Presented by 3L Entertainment The Corner Tavern, 8pm RockStarz Karaoke- Presented by 3L Entertainment Bentley’s Pub, 10pm Rockstarz Karaoke Chester Street, 10pm Dueling Guitars at Jupiters/Crossing Jupiter’s II, 8pm Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, 10pm The Piano Man Canopy Club, 9pm

Miscellaneous Man UP (Men’s Support/ Social Group) Activities and Recreation Center (ARC), 7pm

Movies & theater Israeli Movie Club Hillel Foundation - The Margie K. and Louis N. Cohen Center for Jewish Life, 7pm

Sports games & recreation Trivia Tuesdays Memphis on Main, 7pm


readbuzz.com   December 1-7, 2011

Sleep is all I dream of.

Wednesday 7 Art & other exhibits Art @ the Y presents ‘Waveland: A Meditation’ University YMCA, 9am Celebrating the King James Bible at 400 Exhibit U of I Main Library, 8:30am Warriors Guardians and Demons Spurlock Museum, 9am Watercolors Photos and Drawings by Michael Fuerst 133 West Main, 8am Jerusalem Saved! Inness and the Spiritual Landscape Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, 9am Astral Convertible Stage Set Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, 9am

Classes lectures & workshops

Donnie Heitler -- Solo Piano Great Impasta, 6pm Salsa Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 10pm Coyote Ugly Night w/ DJ Stifler Highdive, 9pm Open Mic Nite Phoenix, 7pm DJ Tommy Williams Chester Street, 9pm

Mind body & spirit Canterbury Student Association Supper St. John the Divine Episcopal Church, 5:45pm Cafe Ivrit Espresso Royale, 7pm Bible and Brew St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church and Campus Center, 8pm

Miscellaneous Open Mic Comedy Night Memphis on Main, 9pm Tango Dancing Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm

buz z ’s WEEK AHEAD Parasol Going Out of Business Sale

December! Now! Everywhere!

Parasol Records 303 W. Griggs St., U. RIGHT NOW until Dec. 17 15% off stuff as of 11/28 Parasol’s closing! Fucking bummer, man! The little label shop that could can’t anymore, I guess. Which is totally lame because Parasol has good prices and has always hosted awesome concerts on Free Record Store Day (if you’re reading, Parasol staff, I assume you can continue doing that — hey, here’s an idea! Turn the shop into a venue!) I went today and bought Wavves’ King of the Beach — for only $13! There’s other stuff, too! Nobody buy that Swordfishtrombones; I want it once I’m paid. Thankfully, Parasol will still be a label and still be around, so that’s good. Love you, Parasol! Enjoy Record Store Heaven! — Nick Martin, Movies & TV Editor

Yayyy, December! Most people hate December because it’s cold and usually snowy, but I love it. I loveeee the holidays, and December means the holidays are coming. I love this time because everyone is really happy (usually), and everything is decorated and looks nice. People also aren’t as grumpy as they normally are because there’s something in the air. Must be that holiday cheer!

— Sam Bakall, Food & Drink Editor

The Nutcracker Friday, Dec. 2 7:30 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 3 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 4 2 p.m. & 6 p.m. Tryon Festival Theatre 500 S. Goodwin Ave., U. Tickets from $17-$36 A holiday tradition, The Nutcracker will be performed at the Tryon Festival Theatre this weekend! When The Nutcracker hits theatres, you know the holidays have finally arrived, and no one will judge you for listening to Christmas music 24/7. You’ll find me sitting in the audience this weekend, tapping my feet and singing along with Tchaikovsky’s most famous work. —

Amy Harwath, Community Editor

18th Annual

Storyshop at the Branch Douglass Branch Library, 10:30am Makeba! Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, 9am

Live music & karaoke

WPGU 107.1 is hosting a pledge drive this holiday season to grant pie-in-the-sky wishes for children right here in the Champaign County community.

Listen to the 48 hr. WPGU DJ LOCK-IN December 1st and 2nd WPGU DJs Bill Hinderman, John Clishem, Kelly

Durkin, Andrew Morrison, Mike Nauheimer, Ashley Kordik, Lindsay Prossnitz, DJ Placek, Kelly Ferry and Masood Haque will be trapped in the studios begging for

IS ON THE AIR

your pledges. Will they be naughty or nice with each other?

Donate online at wpgu.com/santa Benefiting the Champaign Crisis Nursery & Parent Wonders of Rantoul Sponsored by

buzz

11


Low-cal Music

Contains nuts

by Adam Barnett Who: Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, WATERS When: Sunday, Dec. 4 @ 7 p.m. Where: Foellinger Auditorium Cost: $18 for students; $21 for public Star Course is getting it done this year. Janelle Monae, Maps & Atlases and now Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, some crazy East Coast indie-rockers with a new record that was just released this fall. Their debut self-titled garnered some pretty big critical acclaim, including a “Best New Music” dub from Pitchfork. Since then, the band has picked up quite the fan-base, not only in the US (where the last two albums were self-released), but in the UK and Japan as well. Then there’s the main support from WATERS, ex-Port O’Brien frontman Van Pierszalowski. Equally heavy on the distortion as he is on the pop hooks, Pierszalowski released his debut under the moniker this past fall, after working with the modern production legend John Congleton (St. Vincent, Bill Callahan). You’ll most likely catch a full band on the tour. Cool? I think so. What: Ugly Sweater Snowdown When: Friday, Dec. 2 @ 6 p.m. Where: Parkland Theatre Cost: One new toy or $3 donation It’s getting super close to the holidays, winter, snow and ugly sweaters. So Parkland and its division of Fine and Applied Arts decided to

get in on the action and host a benefit show for Toys for Tots with an ugly sweater theme. Bands include locals That’s No Moon, Year of The Bobcat, Elephant in the Room, An Evening With Your Mother, and I Could Be Your Jack Dawson. Oh, and they’re pretty serious about the ugly sweater thing. There’s a competition; ugliest sweater wins.

(Des Moines). There’s also one TBA. You might want to wear earplugs to this one.

What: House Show and Ugly Sweater Party When: Friday, Dec. 2 @ 8 p.m. Where: A house (look up the event on Facebook)

Colorado-based Believers doesn’t have the most music released in the world as of late, but what’s available on the World Wide Web is some downright decent ambient-dancey-pop stuff. Kind of like a Future Islands meets Animal Collective deal with which you can get pretty intimate with support from Urbana native Morgan Orion and Nashville’s Ryan Silver.

People really love ugly sweaters, and if you love them just as much, you’ll hit up the Snowdown and this house show hosted by buzz Music Writer Dan Durley and company. Throughout the evening, you’ll hear tunes from Eileen Fleming, Dan Durley and the 92s, A Cool Hand and Tingo. For those of you who hate hearing Skrillex on loop at parties where people touch your butt. Who: Rvins, Thieves, Omens When: Friday, Dec. 2 @ 9 p.m. Where: Another house (look up the event on Facebook) Cost: $3 donation for out-of-town bands After a quiet Thanksgiving Weekend at home, things were bound to get a bit noisy at the next possible opportunity. So we’ve got sludge, metal and hardcore from three different Midwest outlets: Rvins (Champaign), Thieves (Chicago) and Omens

Who: Believers, Ryan Silver, Morgan Orion When: Friday, Dec. 2 @ 10 p.m. Where: Mike ‘N Molly’s Cost: $5 Ages: 19+

Who: Japan Benefit Show When: Saturday, Dec. 3 @ 9 p.m. Where: Mike ‘N Molly’s Cost: $5 suggested donation Ages: 19+ Remember how excited we got when Midstress, Common Loon and Take Care were included on the Polyvinyl 3.11.11 Japan Benefit compilation, and then their names were on Pitchfork? That was pretty rad. Now, the three are getting together for a benefit show to further contribute to Red Cross earthquake relief efforts. All profits are going there, so you should bring your weekly profits to the show.

CU Sound off

Who: The Wantmores, Double Standard Practice, Lonely Trailer When: Friday, Dec. 2 @ 10 p.m. Where: Cowboy Monkey Cost: $5 Ages: 19+ Congratulations, CU! It’s a band! The Wantmores, self-proclaimed lovers of “nuggets, stax, merseybeat, the paisley underground, chess, tinpan alley, and the recklessness and DIY attitude of punk” play their first show ever on Dec. 2, and the trio is bound to play something to make a mother (and several others) proud. Who: Infected Mushroom, DJ Solo When: Thursday, Dec. 1 @ 9 p.m. Where: The Canopy Club Cost: $20 in advance Ages: 18+ My mom always told me not to touch mushrooms I don’t find in the store or on pizza. Maybe there’s something about a mushroom being infected that makes it okay. More than okay, actually. Infected Mushroom is huge in electronic music, paving on top of the norms of trance with something that probably leads to an increase in the consumption of shrooms at their shows, but that’s just a theory of mine. It’s heavy on the bass and synths, and you’ll probably get pretty sweaty, but it’s gettin’ cold outside, so who cares?

by Max Huppert

If you found a wallet with $200 cash inside, would you return it? It’s a simple question. You find somebody else’s wallet on the ground, stuffed with a decent amount of money, and consider whether or not it’s worth returning. All of a sudden, you’re caught in a moral dilemma ... and it’s not such an uncommon one, either.

Students lose their wallets every day, and the online campus police records are littered with reports of wallet theft. Recently, a student who reported his wallet stolen had it recovered by campus staff, but it came back missing over $500 in cash. We

can question why anyone would walk around with that much money in their back pocket, but if you found that wallet, what would you do? After settling on $200 as a reasonable borderline number ­— enough that you could get

away with taking it and not wake up with a horse’s head in your bed, but not so little that the owner wouldn’t miss it — we asked a few students how they really think they’d act when put to the test.

Simeon Tzolov

Anders Pollack

Senior in New Media

Graduate Student in Accouting

Senior in Graphic Design

“I’d give it back as long as there was an ID in the wallet. Wait, $200? I’d check the picture and see if they looked like an asshole first.”

“I’d definitely bring them back the money... unless there was a good sale going on at Target.”

“One time, I lost my wallet. I looked all over my house and couldn’t find it. Then, I checked under my friend Diego’s bed, and there it was, with all the money still in it. Because Diego wouldn’t steal from me.”

Mike Bieronski

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DECEMBER

THIS WEEKEND on Champaign’s Alternative

WPGU 107.1 FRI Sat

Get energized for the

KR ANNERT CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS

TH DEC 1

Music Academy at 10pm!

Don’t forget to Donate to

Krannert Uncorked with the Maurice McKinley Quartet, jazz // Marquee

7:30pm

UI Jazz Ensemble IV

with Tommy Stopka at 9pm for all the latest on local music!

7:30pm

Edison School Jazz Band

7:30pm

The Nutcracker

7:30pm

UI Concert Jazz Band

// School of Music

Pacifica Quartet Beethoven Cycle Part 3 UI Jazz Combo II

// School of Music

5pm

Krannert Uncorked

7:30pm

Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra: Sleigh Bells Ring, Are You Listening?

SA DEC 3

// Marquee

// Champaign-Urbana Symphony Orchestra

2pm

The Nutcracker

3pm

UI Jazz Saxophone Ensemble and UI Jazz Guitar Ensemble // School of Music

7:30pm

The Nutcracker

7:30pm

UI Jazz Ensemble II

7:30pm

UI Symphony Orchestra and UI Oratorio Society // School of Music

Listen live at wpgu.com

// Marquee

TH DEC 8

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Pre-concert Beethoven Talk // Marquee and School of Music

7:30pm

6:30pm

Like us on www.facebook.com/wpgu1071

// Marquee

TH DEC 15

5pm

// Marquee

Krannert Uncorked with the Cerulean Saxophone Quartet // Marquee FR DEC 16

// School of Music

10am

Dance for People with Parkinson’s // Marquee

SU DEC 4

2pm

The Nutcracker

3pm

Annual Carol Concert

3pm

UI Latin Jazz Ensemble

4pm

Winter Lights Festival

// Marquee // School of Music // School of Music

// Kranner t Center

6pm

The Nutcracker

7:30pm

UI Jazz Ensemble III

7:30pm

THESE SPONSORS MAKE GOOD STUFF HAPPEN:

Danú Helen & James Farmer Lois & Ernest Gullerud Susan & Robert Welke

Student Association

THE217.COM

6:30pm

// School of Music

FR DEC 2

Operation Santa!!! Head to wpgu.com to donate!

WE DEC 7

5pm

weekend with The Red Bull

Check out Loud and Local

Sun

readbuzz.com   December 1 - 7, 2011

2011(DEC)3qUARTER(BUzz)

I’ll cut you down.

// Marquee // School of Music

UI University Band and UI Campus Band // School of Music

Pacifica Quartet Beethoven Cycle Part 3

TU DEC 6

Jean & Howard Osborn

4pm

Town Hall Meeting with Chancellor Phyllis Wise // Office of the Chancellor

Elizabeth & Edwin Goldwasser

7:30pm

Danú

Diana Sheets & Stephen Levinson

7:30pm

UI Jazz Vocal Ensemble

7:30pm

UI Wind Symphony

// Marquee // School of Music

// School of Music

Melanie Loots & George Gollin Gay & Donald Roberts Joy Thornton Walter & John Walter

C A L L 3 3 3 . 6 2 8 0 • 1. 8 0 0 . K C P A T I X

Corporate Power Train Team Engine

Marquee performances are supported in part by the Illinois Arts Council—a state agency which recognizes Krannert Center in its Partners in Excellence Program.

40 North and Krannert Center —working together to put Champaign County’s culture on the map.

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Classifieds

Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition. Inde x Employment 000 Services 100 Merchandise 200 Transportation 300 Apartments 400 Other Housing/Rent 500 Real Estate for Sale 600 Things To Do 700 Announcements 800 Personals 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

employment

BUSINESS OPPS

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Available January 1. 3 BR, 1320 Alms, C. $850/mo. Including utilities, garbage, W/D, appliances. Furnished if needed. Great for family, group of student teachers or grad students. Contact Chris. crpayne30@hotmail.com 419-0588, 684-2226

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Place an Ad: 217 - 337 - 8337


readbuzz.com   December 1-7, 2011

My hands feel like gloves.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ARIES

December 1 – 7, 2011

This would be an excellent week to head down to Pucón, Chile and hire a daredevil to fly you in a helicopter into the caldera of the active Villarrica volcano, whereupon you would bungee-jump out of the copter down to within 700 feet of the molten lava. If that’s too extreme or expensive for your tastes, I urge you to come up a milder adventure that will still bring you a close encounter with primal heat and light -- and maybe even some divine fire.

to you as a fathead. In order to nourish your brain cells, you’ve got to eat foods that provide two essential fatty acids your body doesn’t manufacture: omega-3 ALA and omega-6 LA. Since you’re now in a “brain-building” phase of your astrological cycle, I urge you to get more than your minimum requirements of these basics. If I may be permitted to resurrect a now-out-of-fashion slang term, I suggest that you also expose yourself to a lot of extraordinarily phat sources of intellectual stimulation.

TAURUS

April 20-May 20

SCORPIO

Oct. 23-Nov. 21

As a mouse looks for food or shelter, it is flexible enough to fit through a hole as small as a quarter of an inch. You would really benefit from having a talent like that right now, Taurus. Of course, even if you are as slippery and pliable as you’ll need to be, you will also have to be on high alert for the inviting possibilities, some of which may be brief or subtle. For example, let’s say you spy an interesting-looking person with whom you’d love to chat. The window of opportunity may be open for less than ten seconds. Seize that moment! Refuse to get hung up in shyness. Don’t convince yourself that another chance will come along later.

The mawashi is the loincloth that Japanese sumo wrestlers wear while competing. It’s rare for the garment to come off, even in the heat of a match, but it did happen once in 2000, when a wrestler named Asanokiri suddenly found himself standing naked during his bout with Chiyohakuho. In conformity with sumo’s rules, Asanokiri was immediately disqualified. I don’t think you’re at risk for being rendered literally unclothed in the heat of a showdown or a plot twist, Scorpio. But I do advise you to take extra precautions to prevent a metaphorical version of that occurrence. Get your act very together, and keep it very together.

GEMINI

May 21-June 20

SAGITTARIUS

Nov. 22-Dec. 21

CANCER

June 21-July 22

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22-Jan. 19

March 21-April 19

One of my Gemini acquaintances, Tara, has been playing a slow-moving game of tag with three friends since they were all in second grade together. They’re 27 years old now, and still live in the same city. Currently, Tara is “It,” and has been so for quite some time. But she confided in me that she plans to make a move this week. She says she’ll sneak up on one of the other players during his lunch break at work, tag him, and run away before he can tag her back. I told her she’s likely to meet with success, since this is an excellent time for you Geminis to gain an advantage in pretty much any kind of game you’re playing.

“Far more crucial than what we know or do not know is what we do not want to know,” wrote philosopher Eric Hoffer. This is a good idea for you to contemplate right now. I realize it may be a challenge for you to figure out what you would rather not know and are afraid to know and might even be allergic to knowing. Still, I hope you’ll make the effort. Maybe you could enlist a smart ally who’d be skillful in helping you uncover the taboo truth. And maybe you could formulate an intention to be as objective as you’ve ever been.

LEO

July 23-Aug. 22

Biologists say there are 680 species of trees and shrubs in the U.S. and Canada. By comparison, Lambir Hills National Park on the island of Borneo is the home of 1,175 species on its 128 acres. I suspect you will feel right at home in places like Lambir Hills in the coming week, Leo. Your own creative urges will be running hotter than usual, and are most likely to thrive in contexts that are themselves teeming with lush fertility and rich diversity. Please surround yourself with inspirational influences, thereby giving yourself the best possible chance to express yourself with vivid imagination.

VIRGO

Aug. 23-Sept. 22

“People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home,” wrote philosopher Dagobert D. Runes. Your assignment, Virgo, should you choose to accept it, is to refute that assertion. In other words, I’m inviting you to travel to all of your usual haunts and treat everything that happens there with the attitude of a first-time visitor. Just assume that the familiar people and places in your life have stimulating gifts to give and lessons to impart. Remember, though, they can’t do that to the fullest unless you expect them to.

LIBRA

Sept. 23-Oct. 22

The human brain is composed of 30 percent protein and 70 percent fat. So it wouldn’t be incorrect to refer

jone sin’

by Matt Jones

“No Way!”--let’s clean it up.

“Dear Mr. Brezsny: My name is Sonny McGee and I own a website that caters to people who are addicted to playing poker. I’m a big fan of your horoscopes, and I’m wondering if you would like to advertise your work to our audience. Gamblers love astrology! Get in touch. - Sagittarian Wheeler Dealer.” Dear Wheeler Dealer: Thanks for your interest, but I’ll pass. I don’t like to encourage anyone to focus their gambling urges on trivial matters like card games, sports events, and lotteries. I prefer they direct that mojo to high-minded stuff like daring themselves to excel, pursuing exciting and idealistic adventures, and doing brave things to help save the world. By the way, it’s prime time for you Sagittarians to ratchet up your commitment to those kinds of gambles.

I hope you’re not so perversely attached to your demons that you’re inclined to keep providing them with a comfortable home. Why? Because the coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to permanently banish them from the premises. Yes, I know it may seem lonely at first without their nagging, disruptive voices chattering away in your head. But I really do encourage you to bid them adieu. By the way, as you plan your exorcism, you might want to include a humorous touch or two. They’re allergic to satire and mockery, you know.

AQUARIUS

Jan. 20-Feb. 18

The Beauvais Cathedral in northern France has been called “the most daring achievement of Gothic architecture.” Its soaring facades, carved wooden doors, stained glass windows, and astronomical clock demonstrate high artistry. There’s a problem with the place, however -- it has never been completed. Work began in the year 1225, and experts are still talking about how to solve certain ongoing difficulties with its construction. I don’t know when this happy ending will occur, Aquarius, but I do expect that in 2012 you will be able to put the finishing touches on your own personal version of the Beauvais Cathedral. And now would be a good time to formulate definite plans to do so.

PISCES

Feb. 19-March 20

In my prayers, I’ve been negotiating with the Goddess to grant you the power to change the course of rivers, at least in a metaphorical way. I’ve also beseeched her to show you how to overthrow the Puppet Master and convert overwrought hawks into savvy doves. The Goddess seems to be seriously considering these appeals, and has even hinted she might offer you instructions on how to shape a new Adam out of one of Eve’s ribs, mythically speaking. In return, she does have one request: that you do what you can to make sure the sun rises on schedule for the next ten days.

Stumped? Find the solutions in the Classifieds pages.

Across

1 Summarize 6 Yellowfin tuna 9 Pinocchio’s was apt to grow 13 North of the Iran-Contra hearings 14 Fanged movie creature, for short 15 Tree of Knowledge spot 16 Japanese city 17 “___ le roi!” 18 Part of a November count 19 They offer hyped-up sermons? 22 “Traffic” org. 23 German region with lots of coal (anagram of SARA) 24 Type of insurance 27 What paintings do, in an art gallery? 33 Weather vane dir. 34 “In the Valley of ___” (2007 Tommy Lee Jones film) 35 Planet featured in “Attack of the Clones” 36 Herbie the Love Bug, for more mature audiences? 40 Related to a pelvic bone 41 Boxing Australians 42 “Do the ___” (soft drink catchphrase) 43 Gollum-like phrase for getting a strike in bowling? 46 KISS frontman Simmons

47 “Zip-___-Doo-Dah” 48 Plant on college buildings 50 They’ve cleaned up the four theme entries above 57 “Switched-On Bach” synthesizer 58 “___ Lap” (1983 film) 59 Surname of the brothers behind “It’s Your Thing” 60 Part of Julius Caesar’s dying words, supposedly 61 Count starting word 62 Unit for light bulbs 63 Nutjob 64 Four Monopoly properties, for short 65 Defeat crushingly

Down

1 It may be saved for dessert 2 Actress Lanchester 3 Scottish family 4 Martial art meaning “the way of harmonious spirit” 5 What the V sign symbolizes 6 Two-time Indy 500 winner ___ Luyendyk 7 Lake ___, Ariz. (current home of the former London Bridge) 8 Polar covering 9 Worse than a has-been 10 Funk 11 Collector’s collections 12 Carbon compound suffix 14 Commercial skipper, perhaps

20 Italian woman’s name 21 Butthole Surfers lead singer Gibby 24 Anticipate 25 Jermaine, to Prince Michael 26 “Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get” author 28 Helmet ___ (reality show prop) 29 “SNL” alum Oteri 30 Put up with 31 “Two Women” actress Sophia 32 Lerner’s “My Fair Lady” collaborator 34 Do a cryptographer’s job 37 Speed trap tool 38 King with big hair 39 Calf told to “git along” 44 Finder:keeper::loser___: 45 It precedes lands, world or regions 46 Drywall component 49 Bridal covers 50 ___ speak 51 “And your little dog too!” dog 52 Without 53 Twisted, like a smile 54 “Being ___: A Puppeteer’s Journey” (2011 documentary) 55 Stink up the joint 56 Last word of a New Year’s song 57 “Spaceballs” director Brooks

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December 1-7, 2011

readbuzz.com

AND ANOTHER THING ...

by MICHAEL COULTER

cell censorship The Pakistani profanity purge Sticking with the weirdest, “monkey crotch” also made the list. I don’t have the slightest clue as to what the hell “monkey crotch” means. If you break it down to what it is, the crotch of a monkey ... it’s nasty and everything, but I can’t imagine that it’s a phrase that gets tossed around on a regular basis. At least “glazed donut,” which is also on the list, could be a strangely sexual term, but “monkey crotch”? They apparently roll a little crazy over there in Pakistan. Either way, by taking out that many A few of the words are just normal and could really seem to handcuff words, they would have probably certain people who are making no eftied my hands on any possible text I fort to be offensive or obscene. “Decould ever devise. Normally, I would posit” is on the list. Okay, I totally get how this could be sexual, but I would suspect folks in Pakistan would just imagine it’s used primarily in a banksituation. “Harder” is on the list, have to get more creative, but some ing as is “looser.” Once again, that seems of these banned words even take to be stretching it a little bit. I mean, “deeper” is on the list, and while I’m away that option. sure it was often used in a sexual nature, what about the poor guys that are the weekends, the texting really comes out. This just trying to communicate while they’re digusually makes for an enjoyable Sunday afternoon ging a well? It’s really just not fair for everyone. because I can scroll down the list and reread all “Jesus Christ” made the list. I’m not sure if it’s of the Friday and Saturday communications with because it’s the name of the savior or because my friends. The texts are usually hilarious, often some people use it as a swear word. I suppose unintelligible, and always filthy. It’s a good thing they’re covered either way, which is nice. In fairwe don’t live in Pakistan. ness, I suppose, they also put “Satan” on their Evidently, Pakistan’s telecommunication au- little list. “Damn” is on the list, but “dam” is not, thority doesn’t care for all the bawdy texting over so I bet that will become a pretty big loophole. there, so they’ve decided to crack down. They’ve “Drunk” and “black out” are on there. I’m not demanded that mobile providers filter out 1,700 particularly clear what sort of spam would use words they find offensive or obscene. Wow, that’s these words, but I can only assume it has somea crap ton of words. Actually, I would guess the thing to do with Quaaludes. “Four twenty” also phrase “crap ton” is on their little list. Weird. made the cut. Good luck getting a sweet little Either way, by taking out that many words, they birthday message if you were born twenty days would have probably tied my hands on any pos- into April. They might as well just take the entire sible text I could ever devise. Normally, I would damned day off the calendar. suspect folks in Pakistan would just have to get Some of the other ones were “quickie” and more creative, but some of these banned words “no sex.” I understand “quickie.” I’m not sure even take away that option. I’ve ever heard that used in a normal context. Most of the deal is to try and reduce spam, so “No sex” seems like sort of the opposite of what they really tried to cover most of the choices. If you’d put on the list. I guess it’s because they there’s even a possibility it could be used, then use it to point out what people are missing bethey put it on the list. cause they aren’t getting “no sex.” Still, that All I can say is that they were very meticulous. seems a little picky. Let’s have a look. I’ll skip over the obvious choices It seems like a lot of work putting together this since they seem oddly boring in comparision. list, and I have to say that I would have really Let’s begin with my personal favorite, “flogging enjoyed being part of the committee that came the dolphin.” Really, it’s on the freaking list. Just up with all the words. It’s almost my dream job, outstanding. It’s a phrase I don’t use all that much, in fact, to sit in a room and try to come up with or even really at all, but I really think I may have to dirty phrases, whether real or imagined. I hope start. It’s just catchy. I’m fairly sure it wasn’t the the list helps put an end to their spam, but I intention to introduce people to new perversions bet it doesn’t. People can always find a way of words, but it’s an added bonus. While I hate to make something sound dirty. I suspect that the Pakistani censorship, I have to applaud their the next wave of phrases that the spammers effort to dig so deep with “flogging the dolphin.” create will be that much more powerful than I’m guessing the phrase “pounding the porpoise” the original ones. You can’t kill it. You can only make it stronger. will be a likely substitute. I was never a big cell phone guy until I actually got one. At that juncture, I figured if I was gonna be a dipshit, I’d try to be the biggest dipshit I could possibly be, so I would also text. Now, I’m texting like a fourteen-year-old girl a week before the big dance. In reality, it’s not all that much, but on

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