Buzz Magazine: Dec. 18, 2008 by Buzz Magazine

W E E K LY

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the217.com

champaign-urbana’s arts & entertainment magazine FREE 12.18.08 - 12.25.08

celebración not your average holiday flick discourse and hops

W E E K LY

buzz

dec 18 – dec 25 2008

volume 6 no. 50

Latin Art 9 Blue Beverages

Drinking Liberally proves that alcohol and politics do mix

Local Innovation Xmas Fisticuffs Doin’ It Well Calendar

Meet the creators of iPhone app Tap Tap Dance

Festive flicks duke it out

How do you measure up down there?

Your guide to this week’s events

B u z z cov e r d e s i g n : Cov e r P hoto : e d i to r i n c h i e f : m a n ag i n g e d i to r : a r t d i r e c to r : photo g r a ph y e d i to r : I m ag e E d i to r : Designers: m u s i c e d i to r : Foo d e d i to r :

Matt Harlan Isaac Bloom Stephanie Prather Mark Grabowski Matt Harlan Isaac Bloom Christina Chae Kate Lamy Tommy Trafton Michell Eloy

m ov i e e d i to r : a r t e D i to r : Co m m u n i t y E d i to r : c u c a l e n da r : cop y e d i to r s : s a l e s m a n ag e r : m a r k e t i n g / d i s t r i b u t i on : publisher:

T a l k

O N T H E W E B : www.the217.com

S t a f f

Keith Hollenkamp Drake Baer Suzanne Stern Bonnie Stiernberg Amanda Brenner Kerry Doyle Omair Ahmed Brandi Willis Mary Cory

t o

not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date. buzz Magazine

is a student-run publication of Illini Media Company and does not necessarily represent, in whole or in part, the views of the University of Illinois administration, faculty or students.

First copy of buzz is free. Each additional copy is 50¢ dec 18 – Dec 25 08

Save when you shop Apple on the University of Illinois Campus. Check out www.illiniapplecenter.com for weekly updates on price breaks and rebates. Sell your books back at TIS Bookstore this December and receive $50 off your next computer purchase at Illini Apple Center, and $10 off your next iPod purchase. See website for details, restrictions apply.

We reserve the right to edit submissions. buzz will

w r i t e : 512 East Green Street

Champaign, IL 61820 C a l l : 217.337.3801

A: Your Apple education discount.

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e m a i l : buzz@readbuzz.com

Q: What’s a great reason to shop at the Illini Apple Center this holiday?

512 E. Green Street, In the Heart of Campus

Normal Hours: Mon–Sat: 10am–6pm

www.illiniapplecenter.com 217.337.3116

Holiday Hours: Closed Dec. 24–25 & Dec. 31–Jan. 1

come and get it

weekahead Complete calendar listings on pages 10-11

what to expect on

the217.com

thursday 18

Food:

Giving Tree

Everyday until Xmas, look for the “Twelve Cookies of Christmas.”

Through December 20, Green View Nursery will have a Giving Tree on display all day where you can pick up an ornament with a child’s name, age and wish list.

Art: On Sunday, on the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: gripping horror.

Music: Saturday, look for buzz’s non-traditional Christmas playlist.

friday 19

Life:

Neoga Blacksmith

What do Jews do on Christmas? Find out on Monday the 22.

Beginning at 9 p.m., enjoy the sounds of Neoga Blacksmith for free at Bentley’s Pub. Don’t forget to dig out that reindeer sweater from the back of your closet; there’s a contest for the ugliest Christmas sweater.

let it out Used with permission from Photos.com

saturday 20

sunday 21

monday 22

A German Baroque Christmas

Parkland Theatre and Bah Humbug Productions present: A Christmas Carol

Barb Hamilton

Head to Holy Cross Catholic Church at 7:30 p.m. for this performance by the University High School Madrigal Singers and an audience sing-along. Tickets range from $10 to $18.

Don’t miss this holiday classic at the Parkland College Theatre. The show begins at 2 p.m., and tickets range from $8 to $18.

Join Barb Hamilton at La Gourmandise Bistro as she plays her favorite songs from the ’60s and ’70s. The show is free and kicks off at 6 p.m.

tuesday 23

wednesday 24

thursday 25

Keithmas

Christmas Eve Bash

George Faber and Friends

Keith Harden and friends take the stage at 9 p.m. for this annual acoustic music celebration at the Iron Post.

Head over to CJ Dane’s in Tolono from 5 p.m. to 1 a.m. for music, DJ and karaoke. There’s no cover, so don’t miss out on the merriment.

After you’re done opening presents, catch George Faber and friends at the Iron Post for a special Christmas show. The Iron Post opens at 5 p.m. and the show begins at 8 p.m.

e d i t o r ’ s n o t e by Stephanie Prather With only one week to go until graduation, it’s job search crunch time. Everyone I talk to has asked me the dreaded question, “What are you going to do next?” and I have to tell them the embarrassing truth, that I have no freakin’ clue. It’s not that I haven’t been applying for jobs. I have sent out many, many resumes only to not hear back or get that disappointing rejection email. While nothing has come to fruition yet, I’m still hopeful that I will find a job using my degree, but it seems that the odds are stacked against me. www.the217.com

This is maybe the worst time to be a recent college graduate looking for a job, especially in journalism. According to a Reuter’s survey, 558,000 Americans filed for unemployment benefits just last week. The old argument for college graduates having a leg-up over older workers is that they were cheaper labor. But as desperation sets in and more workers are being laid off, people are likely to accept nearly any offer coming their way. If I was an employer and had the choice between a recent grad and someone with five years experience for the same cost, I’d toss the newbie’s resume in the recycling bin too. As a young person, it’s hard to get the necessary experience when nobody will

give you a chance to land that first “real” job. It’s a seemingly vicious cycle. Entering the job market right now is a little like jumping into an intense double-dutch session. If you’re prepared, you might make it in, but if you don’t have enough experience you might get smacked in the face with a jump rope. I, however, refuse to give up hope. I will find a job, even if it kills me. So if you’re an employer looking for a talented, hard working, willing-to-do-justabout-anything worker with decent grades and a winning personality, by all means contact me at stephanielynnprather@gmail.com. I would be more than happy to send you a resume.

Likes & Gripes Michell Eloy Food & Drink Editor Likes

1) Thai Food: it’s the perfect combination of sweet and salty, a symphony for my taste buds. 2) Finding the perfect gift for someone: In a year when people are literally killing over plasma TV’s, it’s always nice to find the perfect, inexpensive gift that truly shows the recipient you know them. That’s what Christmas is all about folks. 3) Reading for pleasure: I am officially done with school. Now, onto reading something I deem worthwhile.

Oops ... we made a mistake Last week in our article “Mike and Mollies Tunrs 10,” We stated that 105 N. Market is 200 years old. In actuality there are only records that indicate it was constructed before 1887.

dec 18 – Dec 25 08

food & drink

Liberal Imbibing

CU’s Drinking Liberally club talks politics over drinks by Kimberly Callaghan

Illustration by Kate Lamy

The Dregs

Grab a pint, eat some grub, and freely talk politics. Often, gathering around food or drink can be conducive to conversation. Eating a comforting meal or drinking your favorite beer has a way of clearing our minds and thinking simply. Drinking Liberally, a progressive drinking club in the CU area, hopes that it does just this. “The group is for people that enjoy talking politics, but have trouble ﬁnding the time or comfortable space to get their opinion out,” said Jeremy Miller, co-host of the CU Drinking Liberally chapter. “It’s a casual atmosphere where you can speak your mind and not offend anyone or feel uncomfortable for doing so.” Drinking Liberally is a subset of the national organization Living Liberally, a group whose main goal is to foster progressive communities in which politics can be talked about openly in social environments. Every Thursday from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m., the club meets at Esquire Lounge to sit back, relax, and freely discuss politics while enjoying a pint of beer. The club is hosted by Miller and fellow co-hosts Keith Schinkoeth and Stuart Laird, and began in CU during the heat of the presidential election. “It was a good time to set it up, but it seemed like the last thing people wanted to do was speak politics, because it was everywhere.” Now that tension has died down, Schinkoeth assures, “It is very relaxed. It is more about just

Reﬁning your midnight (or 3 a.m.) snack by Caleb Ganzer Anyone can choose to dine at a four-star restaurant and have his or her meal paired with precision by the establishment’s sommelier — that is anyone who can afford to dine there. But what about pairing wines with everyday food? What goes well with Chipotle or Subway? Better yet, what wine should one drink with La Bamba? Let’s take a stroll down to Campustown and decide which wines to drink with our favorite Green Street fodder. La Bamba is decidedly the best place to eat after your taste buds and common sense have been thrown by the wayside. The employees always seem so happy to see the swarms of intoxicated underage undergrads. Assuming Champaign liquor laws were more sensible or

one decided to bring home his or her burritothe-size-of-your-head, what wine should one optimally pour? There’s something to be said about the language affinity with Mexican food and Spanish wines that make them pair so well together. Beefy, spicy, messy burritos yearn for a hearty, bold, spicy Garnacha-based wine from Spain. Seriously, the idea of that already has me licking my chops. The burrito and a decent bottle of said wine shouldn’t set you back more than fifteen dollars. Equally delicious, even when you’re not tying one on, is Antonio’s Pizza. Any place I can get barbecue chicken pizza with a chicken fajita pizza at all hours of the day will never cease to receive the end of my accolades. This arguably

Italian food completely college-town-ified can still, in my opinion, pair nicely with a good cheap Sangiovese-based wine from Tuscany such as a Chianti or Rosso di Montalcino. Regardless of the toppings, the crust alone goes beautifully with an earthy yet fruity, dusty yet crisp red wine from north-central Italy. You almost can’t go wrong with whatever you pick from within this category. Whoever thought late night food could be so classy? This just goes to show that staying up all hours drinking and eating bad food can be turned into an educational gastronomic experience. The real challenge will be to ﬁnd a wine to go with The Big Fat Ugly from Fat Sandwich Company. I’ll leave that task up to my eager readers.

hanging out. The group isn’t pushing any agenda. It is just to get like-minded people together.” As the name suggests, most participants are left-leaning. However, the Schinkoeth said the idea is simply to bring like minded people together through social networks and events. “The group does not have a singular political viewpoint, or subscribe to a set of beliefs,” said Miller. “We are progressive, but we don’t require you endorse a certain policy or candidate.” Living Liberally has multiple venues where such discussion can unfold such as; Laughing Liberally, Screening Liberally, Reading Liberally, Eating Liberally, and Drinking Liberally. “It seems that the one with the most substantial membership is probably Drinking Liberally,” said Schinkoeth And Schinkoeth said Drinking Liberally has been growing quickly. This fall, two other people were starting the CU club at the same time. Stuart Laird was also seeking to create a CU chapter. On choosing the location Schinkoeth said, “Esquire has decent food there, and a good selection of beers. They have a large eating space, and it is relatively easy to ﬁnd.” In the future, Drinking Liberally will be trying different bars in the area as the group moves along in order to increase turnout and adjust to Esquire’s events. Miller said times and places will be posted in buzz, and on their Facebook page weekly.

Opening, Closing and Moving Opening: Dunkin’ Donuts — Opening soon on Green St.

Moving: Great Impasta — Moving to the old Milo’s in one or two weeks

Closed: Bar Giuliani — Closing Friday, December 19 Barﬂy — Closed Last Weekend Moonstruck — Closed in November

Friday Juicebox : : 5–7pm : : $10 The Last Stand Saturday Tasting : : 2–6 pm : : $5 LAST SATURDAY TASTING OF THE YEAR!

Corkscrew Wine Emporium

203 N Vine St, Urbana • 217.337.7704 Mon-Sat: 11–8 Sun: 12–5 DEC 18 – DEC 25 08

come and get it

buzz

You probably have this game on your iPhone

Escape the crowds and craziness of campus!

But did you know its creators are from CU?

Located just a couple minutes east of the quad in downtown Urbana.

by Amanda Cornish Released in late Nov., the iTunes application Tap Tap Dance has been downloaded by over 3 million people, played by around 100,000 different people each day and featured on an iPod television commercial. Mark Johns, 25-year-old Urbana native, cooperated with talented team members like Cactus — a well-known indie game creator; Guy English; and college roommate Kevin Coulton to create this free iTunes application. “With Tap Tap Dance I was working with the most talented people I’ve ever worked with,” Johns said. Johns first began to collaborate with Coulton through a film club they headed during their undergraduate careers at Southern Illinois University in Carbondale. After a 2005 McDonald’s campaign which offered money for placement of Big Mac references in pop songs, the duo created a hip-hop group dubbed Gatbustaz and released their first single entitled “McGangsta” in response to the campaign. After receiving radio airplay, but no cash from the golden arches, Johns and Coulton realized their collaboration had great potential for creating progressive and hilarious material. The group has been working on releasing songs focusing on American domestic beers like Miller High Life and Milwaukee’s Best. The songs feature their signature blend of Coulton’s falsetto voice harmonized by Johns’ lower voice. After transferring to UIUC his junior year, Johns traveled to California for an internship with Apple in 2006. There, he helped the Apple team as an engineering intern for the iPod games group. Anyone playing the Texas-Hold-‘em game on their iPod video can see a Johns Easter egg — he’s the character “Kurt” (named for Kurt Cobain because of his long blonde hair) depicted in the game. A tigsource.com contest calling for independently developed games brought the Johns-Coulton team back together to create a game called Space Barnacle. The contest called for a ‘B’-list game developed in one month. Using a late-’80s level graphics style, Johns and Coulton developed a game featuring a son barnacle who takes his now-deceased father’s gun to avenge his father’s death. Space Barnacle tied for third place in the contest, earning its place in indie video game history. Johns sees this experience with crunch-time game development as a contributing force to success later in his career.

www.UrbanaBistro.com

Tuesday-Saturday 8am-8pm, Sunday 8am-2pm

• Serving breakfast, lunch, and light dinner • Specializing in paninis, homemade soups & salads • Gourmet coffee & expresso drinks • Free WiFi available! Located at 119 W. Main Street Phone: 217.328.4405

Topless Female Dancers 18 to enter • Mon-Thur 8pm-1am • Fri-Sat 8pm-2am • $5 Cover (Always Hiring, We’ll Train)

Silver Bullet Bar

1401 E. Washington Urbana 217.344.0937 Photo by Mark Johns

“For whatever reason. I feel like I’m lucky enough to have a certain set of abilities that let me see the potential products or outcomes and figure out what it takes to go from concept to execution very quickly,” he said. Johns prefers to look at video game design as more of an art form than simply a gaming viewpoint. “Video games are like a very powerful medium of artistic expression that’s kind of in the same cultural ghetto that comics were in the ’60s,” he said. “Art is something that people do, and the medium is relevant. Creating the possibility space for the player, and what you allow the player to do — that’s where you’re making the art.” Before being rechristened, the program got its start as Nate True’s Tap Tap Revolution, a nonsponsored application for jail-broken iPhones — iPhones that had been programmed to allow unofficial applications onto the phone. After being bought by Apple start-up Tapulous, the game was officially released and has become the most popular free application on iTunes. Johns and his team first developed an engine from which the Tap Tap Dance program runs off. This engine can later be expanded upon and used to run new Tap Tap games that the team plans on releasing. From start to finish, the game only took about a month to develop. During crunch times, Johns remembers pretending to be creating

the program for a contest much like the one Space Barnacle was developed for. To play the game, the user taps one of three different lines with the beat of the song corresponding to dots falling on the screen in a format similar to Guitar Hero or Rock Band. Like learning a new instrument, the game progressively introduces the user to more advanced moves like tap-and-holds and shakes. Gamers work through each level of difficulty and can eventually unlock a “boss” song at the end of each difficulty level. Each level features a vivid color display to accompany original and re-mixed songs. The level featuring Daft Punk’s “Technologic” visually takes the user through the progression of human technology — from clubs and fire to CD’s and iPhones. Tap Tap Dance features songs from prominent artists like Justice, Moby and Daft Punk. Eventually, the team plans on releasing new versions of the game to include other genres of music. “We’re all music lovers [at Tapulous] and we all want to push this engine to see what it can do,” he said. Tapulous recently released a new Christmas version of the application featuring Weezer covers of classic Christmas songs.

www.silverbulletbar.net

$3.50 20 oz. guinness All month CelebrAte

Mike n Molly’s 10th AnniversAry!

December 18th @ 9pm

Featuring Performances By: LoLLipop Factory term Vic & ScurVine 105 N. Market St. ChaMpaigN (217) 355-1236

www.the217.com

dec 18 – Dec 25 08

calendar

Complete listing available at

Submit your event to the calendar:

Online: forms available at the217.com/calendar • E-mail: send your notice to calendar@the217.com • Fax: 337-8328, addressed to the217 calendar Snail mail: send printed materials via U.S. Mail to: the217 calendar, Illini Media, 512 E. Green St., Champaign, IL 61820 • Call: 531-1456 if you have a question or to leave a message about your event.

thur, dec 18 live music Prairie Dogs The Embassy Tavern & Grill, U, 5:30pm Keith Harden Hideaway Lounge, Rantoul, 8pm Mad Mardigan Iron Post, U, 8pm Corn Desert Ramblers Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $5 Caleb Cook and the Big Naturals Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm Andy Moreillon Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Lollipop Factory/Terminus Victor/Scurvine Mike ‘n’ Molly’s, C, 9pm

Phyllis Rash Hughes is best known for her penand-ink drawings, which often reflect her experiences as a dancer and musician.

Check out the tools and work stands you can use to fix your own bike and tour their massive collection of parts, spares and used bikes.

kids & families

food & drink

Discovery Room Savoy Recreational Center, Savoy, all day, $2/ Residents and Members, $3/NR Ages crawling-7. Vacation Club Savoy Recreational Center, Savoy, 12pm, $15 residents, $20 non-residents ARTfusion Douglass Branch Library, C, 4pm

Krannert Uncorked Krannert Center for the Performing Arts, U, 5pm Beverages may be tasted free of charge and will be available for purchase by the glass at a special discounted price during the tasting. No tickets required.

fundraisers

Toys For Tots Toy Drive Bentley’s Pub, C, 11am DJ Halfdead Through December 19, Radmaker’s Rock & Roll bring in a toy for Toys For Tavern, Tolono, 8pm Tots and enter to win a Stitches w/ DJs Rickbats $100 gift certificate to and Kannibal Bentley’s Pub and a three The Clark Bar, C, 10pm course dinner for four to DJ Bob Bass Carmons. Each toy donatSoma Ultralounge, C, 10pm ed is an entry to the raffle. DJ Belly Must be 21 to enter. Boltini Lounge, C, 10:30pm UC Books to Prisoners work session dance music Urbana-Champaign InCountry Night w/ DJ dependent Media Center, Halfdead U, 2pm Radmaker’s Rock & Roll UC Books to Prisoners Tavern, Tolono, 8pm is an Urbana, IL based Friday Salsa Cafe project providing books to Bar Guiliani, C, 9pm Illinois inmates at no cost. Volunteer at the work karaoke session. Karaoke with Randy mind/body/ Miller Bentley’s Pub, C, 9:30pm spirit Karaoke Meditation & Yoga Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaClasses voy, 10pm Ananda Liina Yoga & Live Karaoke Band Meditation Center, U, Cowboy Monkey, C, 6pm 10pm, $5 Learn and practice yoga postures and exercises, stage mantra chanting, meditaA Lovely Sunday for Creve tion and the wisdom of Coeur yoga philosophy. The Station Theatre, U, miscellaneous 8pm, $12 Business After Hours holidays Champaign County Giving Tree Chamber of Commerce, Greenview Landscaping C, 5pm, $5 for members, Co. — Nursery, C $8 for guests Through December 20, Join fellow Chamber the public can select an members and their guests ornament from the tree in this great networking with a child’s name, age opportunity hosted this and wish list. This is a month by Eastland Suites wonderful way to make a Hotel and Conference difference in the life on an Center. Proceeds from the underprivileged child this $5 per person donation holiday season. at the door will help fund Chamber programs. literary The Bike Project Open Works by Phyllis Rash Shop Hours Hughes Urbana-Champaign InPages for All Ages, Savoy dependent Media Center, Award-winning artist U, 6pm

dec 18 – Dec 25 08

DJ Tim Williams Soma Ultralounge, C, 10pm, $5

dance music Contra Dancing Banjulele and Ruth Liegel-Lamborghini Phillips Recreation Center, U, 8pm, $5

karaoke

fri, dec 19

Karaoke Senator’s Bar & Grill, Savoy, 10pm Karaoke with DJ Hollywood Wendl’s, U, 9pm Dragon Karaoke CJ Dane’s, Tolono, 9pm

live music

stage

Happy Hour and Live Music Silvercreek, U, 5pm Jeff Helgesen Quintet and Beat Kitchen Iron Post, U, 5pm Andy Moreillon The Embassy Tavern & Grill, U, 5:30pm Road Song The Clark Bar, C, 6pm Barb Hamilton at Huber’s Huber’s West End Store, C, 8pm Shattermask, Scathe, Mindrop Radmaker’s Rock & Roll Tavern, Tolono, 9pm GTO & The Glasspaks Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm Uncle Boff’s Discount Jam Box Memphis on Main, C, 9pm Neoga Blacksmith Bentley’s Pub, C, 9pm Keith Harden The Embassy Tavern & Grill, U, 9pm The Third Flight Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $5 The Show Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, U, 10pm The Show is a 2 hour live radio program broadcast on WRFU-LP, Urbana 104.5 FM every Friday @ 10 PM. Ian Procell, AMP, D.O.M. Boltini Lounge, C, 10pm Indie Rock/Hip Hop Mashup Show Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm, $5

A Lovely Sunday for Creve Coeur The Station Theatre, U, 8pm, $15

dj Country Dancing at Bradley’s II Bradley’s II, C, 9pm, $5 DJ Delayney Radio Maria, C, 10pm DJ and Dancing Highdive, C, 10pm, $5 No cover before 11pm with student ID.

holidays Giving Tree Greenview Landscaping Co. - Nursery, C Through December 20, the public can select an ornament from the tree with a child’s name, age and wish list. This is a wonderful way to make a difference in the life on an underprivileged child this holiday season. Pets In Need Tree Greenview Landscaping Co. - Nursery, C Through December 20, the public can select a dog or cat ornament off the tree and be that animal’s Santa this year. The tree is a great opportunity to help animals at the Champaign County Humane Society with items that they need to remain happy and healthy this holiday season.

lectures Osha Seminar Eastland Suites Hotel, U, 7:30am This course will be presented by Steve Latham, CSP of United Fire Group in 2 modules at Eastland Suites in Urbana. Rites of the Season: Planetarium Show William M. Staerkel Planetarium, C, 8pm, $3-$4 Learn about the origins of our traditions of Christmas, New Year’s Day, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa.

literary Works by Phyllis Rash Hughes Pages for All Ages, Savoy Award-winning artist Phyllis Rash Hughes is

best known for her penand-ink drawings, which often reflect her experiences as a dancer and musician.

kids & families Discovery Room Savoy Recreational Center, Savoy, all day, $2/ Residents and Members, $3/NR Ages crawling-7. Vacation Club Savoy Recreational Center, Savoy, 12pm, $15 residents, $20 non-residents Grlz Wanna Have Fun! Douglass Branch Library, C, 4pm

THE217.COM/ CALENDAR

Toys for Tots Toy Drive Bentley’s pub and carmon’s restaurant, dec. 18-19

Don’t miss your last chance to donate a toy to Toys for Tots. Bring in a toy to Bentley’s Pub or Carmon’s Restaurant beginning at 11 a.m. and be entered to win a $100 gift certificate to Bentley’s Pub and a three course dinner for four at Carmon’s. Each toy donated is an entry to the raffle. You must be 21 to be eligible for the raffle. The raffle drawing will take place at Bentley’s on Friday at 7 p.m.

mind/body/ spirit Yoga Classes Krannert Art Museum and Kinkead Pavilion, C This hour-long class introduces the fundamentals of hatha yoga. Participants should bring their own yoga mats. Other supplies are provided.

sat, dec 20 live music Ben Smith and Matt Turino Iron Post, U, 6pm, $3 Grass Roots Revival Pages for All Ages, Savoy, 7pm The Impalas featuring Dawna Nelson The Clark Bar, C, 8pm Keith Harden Huber’s West End Store, C, 8pm Road Song Bentley’s Pub, C, 8:30pm Super Killer Fire with Solaris, Atheory and Trash City Rockers Canopy Club, U, 9pm, $6 Rad’s Radio w/ Mechanical Bull Radmaker’s Rock & Roll Tavern, Tolono, 9pm Chrissie Corson Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm Deak Harp The Embassy Tavern & Grill, U, 9pm X-Krush Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm, $6

dj DJ Mertz Boltini Lounge, C, 11pm DJ Tim Williams Highdive, C, 11pm, $5 Students free before 10:30pm Kosmo at Soma Soma Ultralounge, C, 11pm

dance music Free Jukebox Memphis on Main, C, 8pm Radio Salsa Radio Maria, C, 11pm, $3

Local poets Ruth Walker and Rodney Peacock will join us for an evening of poetry.

holidays

Giving Tree Greenview Landscaping A German Baroque Co. — Nursery, C Christmas Through December 20, Holy Cross Catholic the public can select an Church, C, 7:30pm, $10-$18 ornament from the tree Featuring University High with a child’s name, age School Madrigal Singand wish list. This is a ers followed by audience wonderful way to make a sing-along. difference in the life on an underprivileged child this karaoke holiday season. Karaoke Pets In Need Tree Senator’s Bar & Grill, SaGreenview Landscaping voy, 10pm Co. — Nursery, C Dragon Karaoke Through December 20, CJ Dane’s, Tolono, 9pm the public can select a Liquid Courage Karaoke dog or cat ornament off Geo’s, U, 10pm the tree and be that animal’s Santa this year. The stage tree is a great opportuA Lovely Sunday for Creve nity to help animals at the Coeur Champaign County HuThe Station Theatre, U, mane Society with items 8pm, $15 that they need to remain Parkland Theatre and happy and healthy this Bah Humbug Productions holiday season. present: A Christmas lectures Carol Parkland College Theatre, Rites of the Season: C, 2pm, $18 adults, $12 Planetarium Show seniors, $8 students and William M. Staerkel Planchildren etarium, C, 8pm, $3-$4 ”Nature and Myth” Live Learn about the origins of Poetry our traditions of ChristLa Gourmandise Bistro on mas, New Year’s Day, HaMain, U, 6pm nukkah, and Kwanzaa.

concert

literary Works by Phyllis Rash Hughes Pages for All Ages, Savoy Award-winning artist Phyllis Rash Hughes is best known for her pen-andink drawings, which often reflect her experiences as a dancer and musician.

kids & families Discovery Room Savoy Recreational Center, Savoy, all day, $2/ Residents and Members, $3/NR Ages crawling-7. Middle East Story Time Urbana Free Library, U, 2pm

miscellaneous The Bike Project Open Shop Hours Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, U, 3pm Check out the tools and work stands you can use to fix your own bike and tour their massive collection of parts, spares and used bikes.

food & drink Holiday market at Lincoln Square Lincoln Square Mall, U, 8am From produce to baked goods to holiday crafts, the holiday market is sure to offer something for everyone.

come and get it

buzz calendar

sun, dec 21 live music Keith Harden Pages for All Ages, Savoy, 2pm Emerald Rum Blind Pig Co., The, C, 6pm Jazz Sandwich with Dave Easley Iron Post, U, 7pm Sight & Sound Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., U, 9pm

dj Saturday is Distinto y Diferente Great Impasta, C, $3 a person or $5 a couple Make this Saturday stand out and make it Distinto y Diferente with music by DJ Andriano with Mambo Italiano.

concert UFLive! presents the New Orleans Jazz Machine Urbana Free Library, U, 2pm This fabulous Dixieland band will play holiday favorites and more in a live concert in the library’s front reading rooms.

karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, U, 7pm

stage Parkland Theatre and Bah Humbug Productions present: A Christmas Carol Parkland College Theatre, C, 2pm, $18 adults, $12 seniors, $8 students and children

kids & families Discovery Room Savoy Recreational Center, Savoy, all day, $2/ Residents and Members, $3/NR Ages crawling-7. Reading to the Dogs Orpheum Children’s Science Museum, C, 2pm Come meet the dogs, choose a book, and read the dogs a story.

lgbt Mpowerment Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Resources, U, 5pm Mpowerment is a community group for young gay/bisexual men.

fundraisers UC Books to Prisoners work session Urbana-Champaign Independent Media Center, U, 1pm UC Books to Prisoners is an Urbana, IL based project providing books to Illinois inmates at no cost. Volunteer at the work session.

www.the217.com

FriendShop Used Book Store Open Champaign Public Library, C, 2:30pm The Library Friends sell used books for $1 or less, plus CDs, videos, and DVDs for $1.50, along with unique gift items. All sales benefit the library.

Preschool Tales: Starlight Goodnight Storyshop Edition Champaign Public Library, Urbana Free Library, U, C, 6:30pm 6:30pm

mind/body/ spirit Tarot Card Reading Carmon’s Restaurant, C, 5:30pm, $15 Catherine of Bead and Botanicals in Urbana will look into your future.

tue, dec 23 live music

Acoustic Tuesday with Jeremy Harper Memphis on Main, C, 7:30pm Jeff Kerr and Billy Galt The Embassy Tavern & Grill, U, 8pm mon, dec 22 The Piano Man Canopy Club, U, 9pm live music Corn Desert Ramblers Barb Hamilton Rosebowl Tavern, Ltd., La Gourmandise Bistro on U, 9pm Main, U, 6pm Keithmas Jazz Jam Hosted by MRS Iron Post, U, 9pm Trio An annual acoustic muIron Post, U, 7pm sic celebration featuring Jason Bentley Keith Harden and friends. Boltini Lounge, C, 7:30pm dj FingaLickin The Embassy Tavern & “Dusty Music” — DJ Grill, U, 8pm Delayney Monday Night Miracle Mike ‘n’ Molly’s, C, with Zmick 10:15pm, $1 Canopy Club, U, 9pm karaoke Abe Froman Project Mike ‘n’ Molly’s, C, 9pm Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, U, 9pm dj Karaoke with Randy Nekromancy Miller Chester Street, C, 9pm, $2 Bentley’s Pub, C, 9:30pm DJ Mingram open mic Highdive, C, 10pm Original Music Showcase dance music Espresso Royale, U, 8pm Teen Scene: Dance Dance Open Mic Night Revolution Memphis on Main, C, Douglass Branch Library, 8pm C, 4pm Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, C, 10pm literary Hosted by Mike Ingram. Works by Phyllis Rash literary Hughes Pages for All Ages, Savoy Works by Phyllis Rash Award-winning artist Hughes Phyllis Rash Hughes is Pages for All Ages, Savoy best known for her penAward-winning artist and-ink drawings, which Phyllis Rash Hughes is often reflect her experibest known for her penences as a dancer and and-ink drawings, which musician. often reflect her experiences as a dancer and kids & families musician. Discovery Room kids & families Savoy Recreational Center, Savoy, all day, $2/ Discovery Room Residents and Members, Savoy Recreational Cen$3/NR ter, Savoy, all day, $2/ Ages crawling-7. Residents and Members, Vacation Club $3/NR Savoy Recreational CenAges crawling-7. ter, Savoy, 8am, $24 resi- Tuesday Twos dents, $33 non-residents Champaign Public Library, O Baby! C, 9:45am, 10:30am, Champaign Public Library, 11:15am C, 9:45am, 10:30am Babies’ Lap Time Family Reading Night Urbana Free Library, U, Douglass Branch Library, 9:45am, 10:30pm C, 6pm Ages birth to 24 months.

lgbt

Rainbow Coffeehouse Wesley-United Methodist Church & Wesley Foundation, U, 6:30pm The LGTBQA Caucus of the GEO offers the opportunity to learn more about the LGTBQ representation in the Graduate Employees’ Organization and to help promote community, solidarity and social justice.

mind/body/ spirit Tarot Card Reading Carmon’s Restaurant, C, 5pm, $15 Catherine of Bead and Botanicals in Urbana will look into your future. Beginners’ Group Meditation Ananda Liina Yoga & Meditation Center, U, 6pm Learn and practice mantra chanting and meditation. Dada Madhuvidyananda, a yogic monk and teacher is leading the group meditation and gives a brief talk on yogic spiritual practices and philosophy after the practice.

wed, dec 24 holidays Christmas Eve Bash CJ Dane’s, Tolono, 4pm Celebrating the merriest holiday of the year at CJ Dane’s. Music, DJ and Karaoke from 5pm until 1am. Join us for no cover and loads of fun for Christmas holiday.

thur, dec 25 live music George Faber and Friends Iron Post, U, 8pm Join us for a Christmas evening filled with live music.

lgbt Live and Let Live GLBT Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting — everyone welcome McKinley Presbyterian Church and Foundation, C, 6:30pm

venues Aroma Café 118 N. Neil, C. 356-3200 Ü Assembly Hall 1800 S. First, C. 3335000 Ü Bacaro 113 N. Walnut, C. 3986982 Ü Barfly 120 N. Neil, C. 352-9756 Ü Bar Louie 510 E. John, C. 328-3700 Ü The Blind Pig 120 N. Walnut, C. 3981532 Ü Bentley’s Pub 419 N. Neil, C. 359-7977 Ü Boardman’s Art Theatre 126 W. Church St., C. 355-0068 Ü Borders Books & Music 802 W. Town Center Blvd, C. 351-9011 Ü It’s Brothers Bar & Grill 613 E. Green, C. 328-5531 Ü Boltini Lounge 211 N. Neil, C. 378-8001 Ü The Brass Rail 15 E. University, C. 352-7512 Ü Bunny’s Tavern 119 W. Water Street, U. 367-8175 Ü Café Kopi 109 N. Walnut, C. 359-4266 Ü Caffe Paradiso 801 S. Lincoln Ave., U. 384-6066 Ü The Canopy Club 708 S. Goodwin Ave, U. 367-3140 Ü Cinema Gallery 120 West Main, U. 3673711 Ü Chester Street Bar 63 E. Chester, C. 356-5607 Ü The Clybourne 706 S. Sixth, C. 383-1008 Ü C.O. Daniels 608 E. Daniel, C. 337-7411 Ü Curtis Orchard 3902 S. Duncan, C. 359-5565 Ü Early American Museum 600 N. Lombard, Mahomet. 586-2612 Ü E’llusions 207 W. Clark, C. 781-0504 Ü Embassy Tavern & Grill 114 S. Race Street, U. 384-9526 Ü Esquire Lounge 106 N. Walnut, C. 398-5858 Ü Fallon’s Ice House 703 N. Prospect, C. 398-5760 Ü Farren’s Pub & Eatery 308 N. Randolph, C. 359-6977 Ü Fire Haus 708 S. Sixth, C. 344-4171 Ü The FuBar Lounge 306 E. Green, C. 384-0500 Ü Geovantis 401 E. Green, C. 344-4600 Ü The Great Impasta 114 W. Church, C. 359-7377 Ü Green Street Café 35 E. Green, C. 367-6844 Ü Bar Giuliani 608 E. Green, C. 344-5374 Ü Guido’s 2 E. Main, C. 359-3148 Ü Heartland Gallery 112 W. Main, U. 337-4767 Ü The Highdive 51 Main, C. 356-2337 Ü Huber’s 1312 W. Church, C. 352-0606 Ü Humanities Lecture Hall, IPRH 805 W. Pennsylvania, U. 244-3344 Ü Illini Inn 901 S. Fourth, C. 344-5209 Ü Independent Media Center 202 S. Broadway Ave, U. 344-8820 Ü The Iron Post 120 S. Race Street, U. 337-POST Ü Jillian’s

Billiards Club 1201 S. Neil, C. 355-2800 Ü Joe’s Brewery 706 Fifth, C. 384-1790 Ü Jupiter’s Pizzieria & Billiards 39 E. Main, C. 398-5988 Ü Kam’s 618. E. Daniel, C. 337-3300 Ü KoFusion 1 E. Main, C. 531-1166 Ü Krannert Art Museum 500 East Peabody Drive, C. 244-0516 Ü Krannert Center for the Performing Arts 500 S. Goodwin, U. 333-6700 Ü La Casa Cultural Latina 1203 W. Nevada, U. 333-4950 Ü Legends 522 E. Green, C. 355-7674 Ü McKinley Church & Foundation 809 S. Fifth, C. 3440297 Ü Memphis on Main 55 E. Main, C. 398-1097 Ü Mike ‘n Molly’s 105 N. Market, C.355-1236 Ü Murphy’s Pub 604 E. Green, C. 352-7275 Ü The Office 14 W. Main, U. 344-7608 Ü The Office II 302 S. Country Fair Dr., C. 398-6332 Ü OPENSOURCE Art 12 E. Washington, C. Ü Pages For All Ages 1201 Savo Plaza, Savoy. 351-7243 Ü Parkland College Theatre 2400 West Bradley Ave, C. 351-2528 Ü Radio Maria 119 N Walnut, C. 398-7729 Ü Radmaker’s Billiard and Sports Bar 4 E. Holden, Tolono. 485-3531 Ü Rantoul Theater 914 Arends Boulevard, Rantoul. 892-1121 Ü Rock’s 25 E. Springfield, C. 359-2660 Ü Rose Bowl Tavern 106 N. Race Street, U. 367-7031 Ü Silvercreek Restaurant 402 N. Race Street, U. 328-3402 Ü Soma Ultra Lounge 320 N. Neil, C. 359-7662 Ü Springer Cultural Center 301 N. Randolph, C. 398-2376 Ü Spurlock Museum 600 S. Gregory, U. 333-2360 Ü The Station Theatre 223 N. Broadway, U. 384-4000 Ü Station 211 211 E. Green, C. 367-9915 Ü Todd & Johns 201 N. Broadway Ave, U. 367-0904 Ü Tracks Sports Bar and Nightclub 116 N Chestnut, C. 355-8595 Ü Tumble Inn Tavern 302 S. Neil, C. 356-0012 Ü University YMCA 1001 S. Wright, C. 217-337-1500 Ü Urbana Civic Center 108 East Water St., U. 384-2375 Ü Virginia Theatre 203 W. Park, C. 356-9053 Ü Wind Water and Light Gallery 10 E. Main, C. 378-8586 Ü Zorba’s Restaurant 627 E. Green, C. 344-0710

Did we make a mistake? Did we miss your venue? Let us know! E-mail calendar@readbuzz.com.

Calendar submission deadline changes Because of the holidays, the buzz calendar deadlines will be earlier. Events occurring December 26 through January 7 should be submitted by December 21 at 5 p.m.

dec 18 – Dec 25 08

movies & tv

Christmas Day Battle Royale Marley & Me vs. The Spirit vs. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button vs. Bedtime Stories vs. Valkyrie Andy Herren

Illustration by Jorge Bustamante

Christmas day sucks. The magic that is the Christmas season is beginning to diminish, and nothing big even happens prior to Christmas morning/afternoon. Even suburban Chicago radio station extraordinaire, the Holiday Lite, ends its streak of non-stop Christmas music at the dayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s end. Movie studios realize that Christmas evening is usually dull, and thus present a cinematic onslaught of new releases upon the local movie theater every year on December 25. This year is no exception, as five huge films are partaking in the Christmas day multiplex bloodbath. Marley & Me, The Spirit, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Bedtime Stories, and Valkyrie all hope to lure audiences in as the reign of Santa comes to a close. Which of these five hopefuls has the potential to satisfy audiencesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; movie cravings of the night, and which will likely present nothing more than a cinematic lump of coal? What better way to determine a winner than through a round-by-round fight.

ROUND 1 Tom Cruise is like this centuryâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Titanic. Beautiful, successful, and powerful ... yet ultimately doomed. His extreme views about Scientology, prescription medicine, and Brooke Shields, to name a few, have definitely made many Americans weary of the once staggeringly successful actor. Even a hilarious cameo in Tropic Thunder doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem to be able to save Valkyrie from abysmal box office receipts. The

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Valkyrie knocked out.

ROUND 2

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film has been troubled for years, and its much-publicized behind-thescenes drama seems far more interesting than anything that will be presented onscreen. Valkyrie is an easy choice to rule out in a field of much stronger films.

"5:: Will The4(523$!9 Spirit be this yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Sin City? One would think so, based on the trailers and artwork for the film, as well as the presence of Sin City author $%#%-"%2 CORP NOTE KEEP THIS SAME SIZE ALWAYS Frank Miller behind the camera, yet one thing stands in the way: the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s rating. The Spirit has been slapped with a too-tame PG-13, which means 8 that the exuberant, excessive, highly-stylized gore found in Sin City will be watered-down here. Although The Spirit appears beautiful to look at, looks TH PAGE alone cannot save a movie, and neither can stars who typically are not able to

bring in large crowds just by their presence. Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes, Gabriel Macht, Jaime King, and Samuel L. Jackson round out the cast, and Jackson really is the only audience-grabbing name of the bunch. Based on a series of comic books, The Spirit will ultimately please its core audience, but will most likely do little more for the average movie-goer.

The Spirit knocked out.

ROUND 3 This is where it gets a big tougher. Bedtime Stories, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, and Marley & Me all have big potential, but another one needs to bite the dust. Although the cast and director of Bedtime Stories have had huge recent success (Adam Sandler marked a return to top comedic form in You Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Mess with the Zohan, Keri Russell scored a critical home-run in Waitress, and director Adam Shankmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s last film was the enormously successful audience and critical hit Hairspray) and the film looks adorable based on the trailer, it still is not as must-

see as The Curious Case of Benjamin Button or Marley & Me. Centering around a man whose bedtime stories come to life after he tells them, this Disney film will no doubt be cutesy and fun, yet maybe itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more of a later-in-the-week film than a Christmas day film. People will surely see this movie, but it is not imperative to go on Christmas day, as some other releases seem to pack more of a punch.

Bedtime Stories knocked out.

ROUND 4 Oh boy is this one a tough call. On one hand, we have The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, with its numerous critical accolades and challenging story of a man who ages backwards. The film, based on the short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald, is being called magical, beautiful, and thrilling. Brad Pitt appears to be at the top of his game in the title role, as does Cate Blanchett as Pittâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s love interest, and director David Fincher had proven that he is a directorial force to be reckoned with after such mesmerizing films as Fight Club and Zodiac. This film is sure to inspire both the heart and the mind, and is not to be missed. However, for a Christmas day pick my final vote has to go for Marley & Me. The film looks thoroughly entertaining, as well

as completely adorable. The story of a family who learns lessons on life and love from the worldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s worst dog, Marley & Me will no doubt pull at the heartstrings of everyone in the audience. Dog movies can tend to be repetitive and manipulative, yet this one seems to have a higher pedigree. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s directed by David Frankel (The Devil Wears Prada) and stars Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson, not to mention an adorable yellow lab. This is a film that the whole family can attend together, and I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t see a safer bet for an excellent movie to rush to on Christmas day.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button knocked out.

WHAT TO SEE ON CHRISTMAS DAY: Marley & Me! (But still see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button as I bet it will be fantastic.)

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art

A Reason for

“Celebración”

Beautiful Latin American art, available throughout the holiday season, at Heartland Gallery in downtown Urbana. Photo by Isaac Bloom

Latin American art radiates at Kalarte by Jean Kim

pon viewing the “Celebración Guadalupana” exhibition in the Kalarte Gallery, located inside Heartland Gallery in downtown Urbana, your winter blues may very well become history. The bright and tropical colors used on the pieces, characteristic of Mexico and other

Latin American countries, as well as depictions of the Virgin of Guadalupe, simply pop, chasing away any effects the dreary Midwestern winter might be placing upon us. The Feast of Guadalupe is a significant religious holiday in Mexico and throughout Latin America.

On Dec. 12, Mexicans celebrate the day the Virgin appeared to a Native American man named Juan Diego Cuahtlatoatzin at Tepeyac now Mexico City, in 1531. The Virgin is considered one of Mexico’s most popular religious and cultural images. The second most visited Roman Catholic shrine in the world is dedicated to her: the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City. The pieces in “Celebración Guadalupana” certainly testify to the Virgin’s significance: Her image is reproduced on postcards, made into small ornaments, framed with tin and, my favorite, even presented within a bottle and decorated with glitter and faux flowers inside. The Virgin isn’t the sole focus of “Celebración Guadalupana.” Pieces from other Latin American countries, including Ecuador and Guatemala, depict rural, agricultural life. Some paintings also appear to depict the celebration of the Feast of Guadalupe. Tiny skeleton figurines are also on display in glass cases, representing the Dia De Los Muertos, Mexico’s Day of the Dead. The materials used to make these pieces are not extravagant or luxurious — plastic bottles, wax, tin, terra cotta, even natural plant fibers. However, if there is one defining factor of this whole collection, it’s the use of mainly bold, primary colors. In combination with the image of the Virgin, the pieces of “Celebración Guadalupana” allow viewers to escape to a warmer place for a few moments and feel the hope of the holiday season.

A Sudden Gust of Color

Events in Verse

“Spirit in Color: The Artwork of Marty Maehr” at Heartland Gallery

The Mansion of the Earth

allowing them to reverberate energetically. As Maehr writes about his working practice, “I try to let my artwork develop naturally — not forcing a pre-conceived idea to a conclusion. Most of my pieces have begun with a strongly felt line or lines which have suggested other lines, shapes and colors.” Working intuitively, Maehr explores the spiritual and philosophical potential of the mind. The artist has said, “I have an avid interest in the work of other painters, but I think I have been influenced more by philosophers than painters.” This interest in philosophy is clear as Maehr’s paintings often attempt to capture universal truths. Most paintings in “Spirit in Color” contain references to the sun or moon. Much like Van Gogh’s world-famous Starry Night, the sun or moon becomes the organizing force, alluding to some type of spiritual being or belief. Maehr attempts to visualize, through color, the unadulterated soul.

A pre-emptive award Should go to every child For cleaning up the cards Now falling in a pile It’s every generation That wants to make a home

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–Full service department –Top name brands –Cheapest strings

by Erik Johnson

by Daryl McCurdy Heartland Gallery is currently showcasing oil paintings by Urbana native, Marty Maehr. The artist now lives and works in Ann Arbor, Michigan. During a family visit to Urbana Maehr came across Heartland Gallery. After showing owner Jan Chandler samples of his work, the two got to talking and realized that Chandler knew Maehr’s mother. As Chandler explained to me, the show’s opening reception was like a homecoming or reunion for Maehr. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen the gallery that full,” said Chandler. Upon entering Heartland it is hard not to notice the vivid colors that radiate from Maehr’s work. The paintings all resemble stained glass, as black lines delineate vibrant blocks of color that work together to form an abstracted image. The types of imagery used — trees, water, birds, and homes — are meant to be accessible to everyone. Maehr explores color relationships, oftentimes placing contrasting complimentary colors side by side,

For all your musical needs!

101 E. University Ave. :: 217.351.5974 :: Mon-Thur, Sat 10-6; Fri 10-7 dec 18 – Dec 25 08

music Top 2O Albums of

1. TV on the Radio — Dear Science TV on the Radio tried to go big on Dear Science, and could not have succeeded more. Eschewing the psychedelic wanderings of Return to the Cookie Mountain, their latest displays the instrumental virtuosity and strangeness of previous albums, while adding a New York beat. Vocalist Tunde Adebimpe’s voice is powerful without being overwhelming. Producer and member Dave Sitek streamlines the sound, stripping away the edge of their previous albums while maintaining an acute richness and depth. Horns and synthesizers mesh brilliantly on “Crying,” and “DLZ” adapts electronica to a slower attitude. The result is a dually listenable and creative work. 2. Fleet Foxes — Fleet Foxes When it comes to the albums of 2008, nothing screams “music” quite like Fleet Foxes’ eponymous debut LP. Fleet Foxes has all the attributes music should: ornate harmonies, stick-in-your-head melodies, and the overwhelming feeling that the musicians who made it left nothing on the table. Their rustic, Americana sound and basic instrumentation hearkens back to days of old both in style and lyrical content. The highlight of the album, is “He Doesn’t Know Why.” Placed right in the middle of the track listing, the song’s melody flows into a climax with a most impressive vocal performance. Fleet Foxes is an inspiring work of art, start to finish. 3. The Hold Steady — Stay Positive The inspirational fourth release from The Hold Steady may not be for everyone, but if optimistic lyrics and a sound reminiscent to Springsteen are your thing, then Stay Positive will surely prove fitting. The most recent album creatively incorporates the use of horn, mandolin, harpsichord and banjo, linked together by the band’s trademark pop-like feel over unrefined and intense lyrics. DEC 18 – DEC 25 08

From the glitch-pop samples of Girl Talk to the auto-tune laden hooks of Lil Wayne, 2008 was host to a number of new and evolving trends. buzz Music Staff presents our favorite albums of 2008, including the aforementioned artists and everything in-between.

4. Bon Iver — For Emma, Forever Ago For Emma, Forever Ago proves DIY antics coupled with complete devotion to one’s craft can still rein victorious in this often pitch-corrected world of music. With this album, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver exposes his deepest emotions right out to the cold of public criticism in the purest of ways, with the beauty of mistakes appropriately left in the tracks to remind us that we’re all still human. Vernon’s simplistic style cuts straight to the core of any listener in an almost spiritual sense.

7. My Morning Jacket — Evil Urges My Morning Jacket has developed from southern rock road warriors to a household name in the scene because of their energetic stage presence and ever-changing sound. A heavy focus is placed on sexuality, hinted at by the album’s title, and the result is both funky and passionate. The bigger picture, while dark, is not without its lighter side. Songs like the touching ballad “Thank You Too” and the ambling “I’m Amazed,” help Evil Urges make its effective statement.

5. Sigur Ros — með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust Roughly translated as, “with a buzz in our ears we play endlessly,” the album title couldn’t ring more true towards the overall tone of the work. Evidence of the raw, endearing appeal of imperfections can be found on a number of tracks as the album leans in the direction of a live recording. Whether its the allure of acoustic guitar in “Illgresi” or the anthemic quality of “Inni Mer Syngur Vitleysingur,” Sigur Ros once again fails to disappoint.

8. Coldplay — Viva La Vida Coldplay’s latest release changes everything about the band. The complex instrumentals of the opening song, “Life in Technicolor,” and the dark, full arrangement of, “Violet Hill,” are unparallel to anything that Coldplay has released in the past. It is safe to say that Coldplay ﬁnally took a risk and put together a shockingly different, yet organic sounding album.

6. Death Cab for Cutie — Narrow Stairs The commercially-savvy indie-rockers of Death Cab have succeeded in keeping the sappy from sounding trite, and the poetic from becoming pedantic, with their latest, Narrow Stairs. Narrow Stairs exposes the naïveté of overly-idealized love, from the self-conscious “Bixby Canyon Bridge,” to the crushing “Your New Twin Sized Bed.” “Cath...,” the album’s tragic masterpiece, will even impress the Death Cab-wary listener. Ben Gibbard and gang have conquered the emotive once again.

9. Katy Perry — One of the Boys Kathyern Hudson, aka Katy Perry, was born to two pastors, sang in her church choir, listened to gospel music, and became famous for “kissing a girl.” Seven years and an obvious change in attitude led to the 2008 pop album, One of the Boys, featuring songs such as, “Waking Up in Vegas,” “Hot n’ Cold,” and the controversial single, “I Kissed a Girl.” Perry’s album is fun, slightly offensive, and keeps turning out hit singles.

10. Jason Mraz — We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things Jason Mraz’s third studio album, We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things, did just that: he sang, we danced, he stole our hearts. The music, which is utterly lightweight and undeniably catchy, offers a wealth of samples from a broad spectrum of musical genres. Combining scat singing, raging horns, and smooth lyrics with both reggae and Latin appeal, Mraz’ experimentation with variety worked well for the 2008 release. 11. Vampire Weekend — Vampire Weekend Shying away from prickly new-wave of their cohorts, Vampire Weekend adapted Peter Gabriel and Paul Simon’s Africanbased funk into a preppy, smart album. It’s not revolutionary or over-ambitious and the album exhibits a simple joy; each song is written with verve and a lyrical kick sang over a refreshingly minimal band. With so many bands focused on posturing, Vampire Weekend harken back to a time when bands didn’t need to blow people away to ﬁnd attention or a record deal. 12. Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos — Not Animal The already talented Margot and the Nuclear So and Sos offers their maturity in the form of intriguing lyrics, hypnotizing vocals, and an album that is simply addicting. Showing a level of skilled improvement you’d expect to see in a band over the course of a decade, Not Animal packs everything you’ve loved about Margot into 12 songs that are bound to top your iTunes list for months.

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buzz music 11

13. Girl Talk — Feed the Animals Feed the Animals was the party album of the summer. With more than 300 samples, Girl Talk, aka Gregg Gillis, essentially made new compositions out of the old. Snippets of songs by artists ranging from Dexy’s Midnight Runners to Of Montreal were discernable, and it is just as fun to play a guessing game as it is to dance. Whether played in a roomful of people at a party or listened to alone with headphones, you can’t deny that the music just works.

17. The Roots — Rising Down The Roots continue to be a powerhouse live act with severely underrated albums. This is a shame, because Rising Down is another worthy addition to their already strong catalog. Songs like, “I Will Not Apologize,” and “Criminal,” are a good indication of the album’s tone of dissatisfaction with the amount of injustice in the world. Clearly, The Roots are trying to make a statement and they made a pretty great one this time around.

14. Hot Water Music — Till the Wheels Fall Off This b-sides and rarities collection compiles tracks from a comprehensive collection sure to please the toughest critic. Tracks like “God Deciding” and the acoustic cover of Alkaline Trio’s “Bleeder” showcase the best of both worlds for Hot Water Music — melodic rhythms and the gruff vocals of frontman Chuck Ragan. Arguably the largest problem with this album is the acknowledgement that it is a collection of (mostly) previously released tracks and not the reunion album many seek.

18. Dr. Dog — Fate Fate, Dr. Dog’s ﬁfth album carries feelings of nostalgia embedded in the punch-drunk vocals that weave in and out of each track like a lazy summer day’s dream. Fate is not so much a tribute as it is another album in a long line of albums since the 60s with intriguing lyrics, heavy harmonies, drippy guitar, and grit. This album stands out as one that is enjoyable and consistently engaging from beginning to end.

15. Okkervil River — The Stand-Ins Not as poetic, yet more culturally critical than 2007’s The Stage Names, The Stand-Ins thematically centers on the disillusioned realm of rock stardom. The Stand-Ins’ more upbeat, pop moments, exempliﬁed in “Starry Stairs” and “Pop Lies,” save the album from degrading into works of mopey melancholy. Like any band that consciously works against the contrived, Okkervil River’s sound requires patience. 16. Portishead — Third It may not be a new discovery that Beth Gibbons’s voice creaks and echoes like a haunted house, but just as she hasn’t changed, neither has anything about the sound of Portishead’s latest release, Third. The album maintains the same jarring melodies that sometimes touch on discord and a repetition of singular sounds lasts throughout entire tracks. Despite the ten year hiatus, Third, manages to be exciting, inventive and beautiful in its own haunting way.

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19. Lil Wayne — Tha Carter III “I’m ill, not sick,” Lil Wayne boasts on one of his Tha Carter III tracks. Ill he is, with three-plus singles, sold out shows and Michael Phelps endorsement, however it’s his signature auto-tuning that makes him really special. Tunes off of Tha Carter III play at every campus bar and Weezy F. Baby has become a dreadlocked, tattooed, lady-cop-seducing radio staple. Love him or hate him, you have to know Lil Wayne for his catchy hooks and that crazy voice of his. 20. Of Montreal — Skeletal Lamping While pop-indie band Of Montreal has always created unique styles for their albums, it seems as if each track on Skeletal Lamping does its own thing. “Beware our Nubile Miscreants” starts out with string instrumentals, but seems to break into its own differences throughout the song. This continues over the course of the album and whether its schizophrenic attitude is a good thing or not will have to be decided by each listener.

buzz’s

Local Picks of 2OO8 Curb Service — Fly Casual Moving on from the success of Lorenzo Goetz, Larry Gates has outdone himself, crafting a collection of the most aggressively tempered and vividly memorable tunes to grace CU music yet. Surrounding incessantly rolling lines of lyrics and stagnant but driving melodies with unexpected orchestra runs and shaky trumpet inserts, Gates has done what many of his genre can’t; drenching his tunes with samples, electronic beats, and jarring juxtapositions of sounds while still preserving the more organic art and charm of songwriting. With an attitude that can’t be matched, the release of Fly Casual has appointed the Beck of CU, asserting a potential in Gates that can outgrow both the contemporary and the locale of that very title. Tractor Kings — Homesick Enjoying the freshness of yet another lineup change, the Tractor King’s third full-length has captured a deﬁning ambience that has ﬁnally asserted a remarkable identity for the band that will set them apart from the predictable expectations of Midwestern rock. Whether a result of the unlikely fusion of alt-country and psychedelic rock or merely the simplistic and organic honesty in their songwriting, the unique atmosphere of Homesick has allowed the tracks to transcend the conventions of their chord progressions, melodies, and lyrics to something much more than they claim to be. The album is an exploration of the understatement resulting in an unexpected complexity and depth. The Hathaways — Hand Me Down Released in early November, Hathaways Hand Me Down EP is five tracks of sibling bonding in the best way possible. With Kate and James sharing equal time on lead vocals, the two trade lines in the seamless manner that is only possible from such

a blood connection. It’s hard to pick stand-out tracks on such a powerful EP, but the captivating opener “Experiment” and middle track “Pusher” are two numbers that leave the listener begging for a full-length. Hopefully the time the duo spends in Peru exploring the land, people and art of the charango will quickly inspire even more exploration of exoticism in their future songwriting. Post Historic — Memory Banks of Blue A mix of folk and soft shoegaze pop, the ambient and orchestral elements of the band’s first full length are woven together with enough skill to make one wonder just where this band will go next. Particularly striking is the slow building “New Gardens,” which layers on delicate instrumentation and reminiscent lyrics to produce a truly heartfelt song. Above all, Memory Banks of Blue is an incredibly ambitious album for a band that has kept such low profile. The band is clearly adaptable and proficient with different genres as well as clean production. Be on the look out for more from PH. Tall Tale — Pirate Ship The girl-fronted team of Tall Tale rocked CU with their powerful debut album, Pirate Ship. Impressing listeners with their driving tunes backed by elaborate guitar and breathtaking vocals, the album easily earned their place among top local albums of 2008. Bouncing from edgy, driving singles like “Apology” to the soothing ballads of “Lullaby” or “Tree Song,“ the full-length highlights the mesmerizing harmonies of Tracey Morrison and Tricia Scully against an elaborate musical backdrop that results in a aural masterpiece. With addicting rhythms, ear-pleasing vocals, and musical brilliance that helped them stand out in the CU scene, it is unfortunate that this will be the last we’ll hear from the crew of Tall Tale.

DEC 18 – DEC 25 08

classifieds

Place an Ad: 217 - 337 - 8337

Deadline: 2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition. Index Employment Services Merchandise Transportation Apartments Other Housing/Rent Real Estate for Sale Things To Do Announcements Personals

000 100 200 300 400 500 600 700 800 900

• PLEASE CHECK YOUR AD! Report errors immediately by calling 337-8337. We cannot be responsible for more than one day’s incorrect insertion if you do not notify us of the error by 2 pm on the day of the first insertion. • All advertising is subject to the approval of the publisher. The Daily Illini shall have the right to revise, reject or cancel, in whole or in part, any advertisement, at any time. • All employment advertising in this newspaper is subject to the City of Champaign Human Rights Ordinance and similar state and local laws, making it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement which expresses limitation, specification or discrimination as to race, color, mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual orientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, prior arrest or conviction record, source of income, or the fact that such person is a student. • Specification in employment classifications are made only where such factors are bonafide occupational qualifications necessary for employment. • All real estate advertising in this newspaper is subject to the Federal Fair Housing Act of 1968, and similar state and local laws which make it illegal for any person to cause to be published any advertisement relating to the transfer, sale, rental, or lease of any housing which expresses limitation, specifications or discrimination as to race, color, creed, class, national origin, religion, sex, age, marital status, physical or mental handicap, personal appearance, sexual oientation, family responsibilities, political affiliation, or the fact that such person is a student. • This newspaper will not knowingly accept any advertising for real estate that is in violation of the law. Our readers are informed that all dwellings advertised in this newspaper are available on an equal oppportunity basis.

Deadline:

2 p.m. Tuesday for the next Thursday’s edition.

HELP WANTED

020 APARTMENTS

Part time

Furnished/Unfurnished

Illini Media recommends readers take care when responding to classified ads, especially ads asking to send money. Illini Media does not knowingly publish fraudulent advertisements and requests readers report difficulties to the classified department by calling 217-337-8337. Need some extra cash? McKinley Foundation at the University of Illinois needs a part time maintenance person for 10 hours a week at $10 per hour. References and background check required, prior experience preferred. Drop by McKinley Foundation, 809 S. 5th for an application or send resume to a-childress@mckinley-church.org

APARTMENTS

Furnished/Unfurnished

410

34 MAIN, C. Available August 2009. Amazing 2 bedroom units in the heart of downtown Champaign. Units feature hardwood ﬂoors, designer kitchens with granite countertops, central A/C, dishwashers, W/D, 20' ceilings with 10' windows and much more! Rents from $1300/mo to $1500/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Great Location 201 S. Wright St., Champaign. Adjacent to Engineering campus. Loft bedroom, security parking, balcony, A/C, laundry. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

105 E. John, C Available Fall 2009. 1 & 2 bedroom furnished, great location. Phone 352-3182. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, Champaign. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

410 APARTMENTS

808 S. LINCOLN, U Aug 2009. Classic Building- across from Jimmy John's on Lincoln Ave. Hardwood Floors, Laundry, Call for showing times. 1 BR + Sun Room $550/mo (UF) 1 BR + Den $550/mo (UF) 2 BR $490 to $550/mo (F) Parking $50/mo BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com BEST OFFER CAMPUS 1 BR Loft 2 BR 3 BR 4 BR Campus. 367-6626 For August 2009

Furnished/Unfurnished

APARTMENTS

Furnished 510 E. Green

104 E. John 312 E. White 1103 S. Euclid

1 Bedrooms 508 S. First 108 W. Charles 104 E. John 103 E. Healey 105 S. Fourth 103 E. Stoughton 108 1/2 E. Daniel 310 E. Clark 507 S. Elm, C.

Fall 2009. Location!! 4 bedroom, 2 bath. Covered Parking. Laundry, value pricing from $375/person. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420

Secured building Large 2 BR Washer and Dryer Sunroom or Sleep-over Room Balcony, Free Parking Call Cindy 841-3028 $1000/mo $500/person

1005 S. Second, C. Available Immediately Available Immediately. 1 bedroom loft. Fully equipped. Balcony, parking. 409 W. Green. Call Hardwick Apartments, 356-5272 or 621-1012.

Luxury One Bedroom 407 E. University. Available for FallLuxury Apartments. Avenue Court, fully equipped. W/D in unit. Balcony. Underground parking. Non-smoking. Hardwick Apartments 356-5272 621-1012

205 EAST HEALEY, C. August 2009. Huge 1 bdrm apts. Window A/C, Parking $40/mo. To furnish $50/mo additional. Rents from $425/mo to $495/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Fall 2009 Studio Secured building. Private parking, Laundry on-site. Value pricing from $375. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

905 S. LOCUST

2 Bedrooms

103 E. Stoughton 104 E. John 105 S. Fourth 208/210 E. White 312 E. White 1103 S. Euclid

2BR

Spacious layouts, balcony Central A/C, dishwasher Vaulted ceiling (top) Onsite laundry 1 block from Illini bus Sanitary, sewer, trash paid $750-800/mo mon.-sat.

(217) 766-2245

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished 104 E. Armory, C.

BEST VALUE CAMPUS 1 BR. loft from $480. 1 BR. $395 2 BR. $580 3 BR. $750 4 BR. $855 Campus. 367-6626. August 2009

905locust.com

5th & HEALEY, C. August 2009. The BEST LOCATED EFFICIENCIES & 1 BEDROOMS on campus - period. Here's the best part: Efﬁciencies $400/mo to $425/ mo & 1 bedrooms $550/mo. Parking available at $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

106 Daniel, C. For August 2009. 1, 2, 4 bedroom apartments and townhouses. Parking, laundry, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

101 E. Green (1st & Green)

3 bedroom apts

• Free Internet • Dishwashers • 1 ½ Baths • Balcony

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

HIP, Modern 4 BR Apt in Urbana Available Fall 2009

$200 OFF if you sign a lease before the end of 2008!

BMI Management Call 217.390.9900 www.BMIcity.com

420 APARTMENTS

420

Furnished Furnished 307 & 310 E. WHITE, 509 W. MAIN, C 307 & 309 CLARK, C Aug 2009. 1 U bdrm apts. From Jan. & Fall 2009 Large studio, double closet, well furnished. Starting from $350/mo. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup.com 352-3182

311 E. WHITE, C. Avail Aug 2009. Large efﬁciencies close to Beckman Center. From $325/mo. Parking $35/mo. Window A/C, carpet. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

203 S. Sixth, C. For August 2009. Large 4 bedrooms, 2 bath. Balconies, laundry, covered parking. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 E. White, C. August 2009. Large Studio and 1 bedrooms. Security entry, balconies, patios, furnished. Laundry, offstreet parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 217-352-3182

$415/mo to $445/mo. Laundry, Window A/C, Parking, $45/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

100 Best! 101 E. Daniel - 1, 2 BD 808 S. Oak - 2, 3, 4 BD 805 S. Locust - 2, 4 BD 203 S. Fourth - 1, 4 BD 205 S. Sixth - 3 BD 605 E. Clark - 1 BD 101 S. Busey - 1 BD 102 S. Lincoln - 2, 4 BD Featuring: Washer/Dryer Free internet, Bi-level, Dishwaher AC, Balconies, Jacuzzi, Big TV, Cathedral Ceiling www.mhmproperties.com 337-8852 Second Semester Specials 4 BR at 506 E. White, C. $1188 3 BR at 707 W. Elm, U. $990 Call (217) 840-5134

509 Stoughton, C Fall 2009 Near Grainger, spacious studios and 2 bedrooms, laundry, value pricing, parking. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Trendy Studios 1 & 2 BR Apts

in Downtown Champaign, Available Fall 2009 $200 OFF if you sign

a lease before the end of 2008. Near Randolph & Church with Stainless steel appliances, Jacuzzi Spa, Hardwood Floors, Cathedral Ceilings, on-site laundry

Near Green & Lincoln w/ 2100 sq ft, Everything New in 2008. 2 Full Bathrooms with Jet Spa jacuzzi’s, Stainless steel appliances, private W/D, Hardwood floors, free parking, walking distance to campus!

$500-$525 per person

Efficiencies

410 APARTMENTS

EVERYTHING NEW in 2008. Close to campus & downtown Champaign!

500-1,100 sq ft, $400-$850/mo.

BMI Management Call 217.390.9900 www.BMIcity.com

4 Bedrooms 807 S. Loucust 208/210 E. White

Houses

509 S. Elm, C. 314 E. White

3 Bedrooms

1103 S. Euclid 807 S. Loucust 208/210 E. White 312 E. White 104 E. John

Rates:

Billed rate: 39¢/word Paid-in-Advance: 33¢/word

Photo Sellers

30 words or less + photo: $5 per issue

Garage Sales

30 words in both Thursday’s buzz and Friday’s Daily Illini!! $10. If it rains, your next date is free.

Action Ads

• 20 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $20 • 10 words, run any 5 days (in buzz or The Daily Illini), $10 • add a photo to an action ad, $10

dec 18 – Dec 25 08

come and get it

buzz classifieds 13

APARTMENTS

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

706 S. LOCUST, C. Aug 2009. Window A/C, covered parking $45/mo, laundry. 1 bdrms $440/mo. 2 bdrooms $645/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. WALNUT, U. August 2009. Close to Downtown Urbana, 1 bdrms $510/mo. 2 bdrms $540/mo. Central A/C, Laundry. Parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

706 S. FIRST, C. Aug 2009. 1/2 blk south of Green. 1 bdrm $430/mo. 2 bdrms from $475/ mo. Window A/C. Parking $40/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Furnished

Atrium Apartments Available Jan 09 and Aug 09 3 Bed/3 Bath Unfurnished $350 4 Bed/4 Bath Unfurnished $350 4 Bed/4 Bath Furnished $380- $420 All UTILITIES INCLUDED Individual Leases www.atrium-apartments.com 217-328-5122 Check out remodeled units!

Great Value 306-308-309 White, C August 2009. Furnished studios, 1, 2, and 3 bedrooms. Balconies, patios, laundry, dishwashers, off-street parking. Value pricing. 841-1996 9 Month Leases Available THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

HEALEY COURT APARTMENTS 307-309 Healey Court, C Fall 2009. Behind FU Bar. 2 bedrooms. Parking, laundry, and value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

MHM Properties

Fall 2009

LUXURY APARTMENTS 337-8852 • www.mhmproperties.com

102 S Lincoln, U. 808 S Oak, C. 101 E Daniel, C. 205 S Sixth, C. 605 E Clark, C. 101 S Busey, U. 203 S Fourth, C. 805 S Locust, C.

Horizon Apts Bi-Levels Bi-Levels Jacuzzi & Big Screen TV Beckman View Apts Paid Utilities! Cathedral Lofts Bi-Levels

2, 3, 4 BR 2, 3, 4 BR 1, 2, 4 BR 3, 4 BR 1 BR 1 BR 1, 2, 3, 4 BR 2, 4 BR

HOUSES: 4-9 PERSONS, WASHER & DRYER, FREE PARKING

420 APARTMENTS Furnished

420

THE GEORGIAN 1005 S. SIXTH, C. Aug 2009. Best located 1 bdrms on U of I Campus. Next to UI Library. 1 bdrms from $450 to $550/mo. Laundry, Window A/C, Carpet. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

THE NEVADAN 903 W. NEVADA, U. We've redeﬁned luxury with these spectacular 2 bedroom units built August 2007 right in the heart of the U of I campus, around the corner from Cafe Paradiso. Wall-mounted ﬂat screen TVs, wine & beer fridge, designer furniture package, W/D, buzzer entry, elevator, covered parking and MUCH MORE!!! Some units have 2 baths! A must-see! Rents from $1250/mo to $1350/mo. Call for showing times! BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

903 W. Oregon (Oregon and Lincoln)

2 bedroom apts

• Free Internet • 3 blocks from Quad • Near new shops and resturants

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

www.dailyillini.com

101 E. Armory, 803 S. First, 61 E. John, 803 S. Locust, 312 & 314 E. Clark, 3081/2 W. William

Many Units Feature: Free Internet, Laundry Dishwasher, Microwave, AC, Ceiling Fan, Balcony, Cathedral Ceiling, Intercom, Contemporary Furnishings, Security Entry, Covered Parking, Burglar Alarms, Sound-proofing, Energy Efficient

337-8852 • www.mhmproperties.com

On engineering & comptuer science campus (Urbana Side) Union 3 1/2 Blocks Grainger 2 Blocks 1 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U $ 570-595 911 W. Springfield, U $ 570-610 1004 W. Springfield, U $ 495

2 Bedroom 901 W. Springfield, U 111 S. Lincoln, U

$ 695-740 $ 810

4 Bedroom 1010 W. Springfield, U $ 1760 ONE LEFT For Info: (217) 344-3008 911 W. Springfield, Urbana www.BaileyApartments.com www.the217.com

217.351.8900 dec 18 – Dec 25 08

14 classifieds buzz

APARTMENTS Furnished

420 APARTMENTS Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

802 W. GREEN, U.

103 E. DANIEL, C. August 2009. Close to Frat Park. Super size large 3 bdrm apt approx. 2,000 sq. ft. w/ 2 baths & ﬁreplace starts at $1360/mo. Large 3 bdrms, 1 1/2 baths from $975/mo. 2 bdrms from $755/mo. Efﬁciencies from $425/mo. Central A/C, Storage units, Laundry. Parking $60/mo. Call for showing times BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Aug 2009. One block from Lincoln Ave. Large units with Central A/C, Patios/Balconies, laundry. Parking $40/mo. 2 bdrms from $605/mo to $630/mo. 1 bdrm $560/mo. Efﬁciency $415/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished

Old Town Champaign 510 S. Elm, C Available Fall 2009 and January. 2 BR close to campus, hardwood ﬂoors, laundry, W/D, central air/heat, off-street parking, 24 hr. maintenance. Value pricing from $595/mo. 841-1996. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420 APARTMENTS Furnished

611 WEST GREEN, U Aug 2009. 2 Bdrms in Great Location. Hardwood & Ceramic tile, W/D, D/W, Balcony or Patio, Central A/C, Rent $945/mo. Parking $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

420 APARTMENTS Furnished

John Street Apartments 58 E. John, C August 2009 and January. Studio, two and three bedrooms, fully furnished. Dishwashers, center courtyard, on-site laundry, central air, parking, and value pricing. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

420 APARTMENTS

1006 W. STOUGHTON, U. Aug 2009. Close to Engineering campus. 4 bdrm from $935/mo. 2 bdrms from $550/mo. Window A/C, Carpet. Parking $30/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Furnished

420

ABOVE JIMMY JOHN'S ON LINCOLN 805 S. LINCOLN, U. Aug 2009. Ceiling fans, Window A/ C. Efﬁciencies from $520/mo. 1 bdrms from $570 mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

309-311 E. Daniel (4th & Daniel) 4 Bedroom • 3 blocks to quad • Free Internet • Near bars and restaurants

www.BAILEYAPARTMENTS.com

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

Two Bedrooms Furnished Urbana Side

3 Blocks To Quad!

$810 DW, microwave, desk, central a/c, balcony

Bailey Apts.

344-3008

Smith Apartments

www.Roland-Realty.com

Now Renting for August 2009 217-384-1925

1 Bedroom 507 W. Church, C. . . . . (UF)$455-(F)$475 511 W. Church, C. . . . (UF)$480-(F)$500 1004 S. Locust, C. . . . . . . . . . . $630

2 Bedroom 201 E. Armory, C. 1004 S. Locust, C. 511 W. Church, C. 1009 W. Clark, U. 1010 W. Clark, U. 1012 W. Clark, U.

. . . . . .

. . . . . . . $875 $710, $750, $795 (UF)$625-(F)$645 . . . . . . . $700 . . . . . . . $790 . . . . . . . $700

Green Street office Corner of 3RD and Green

2 Bedrooms

33 E. Chalmers 56/58 E. Daniel 408 E. Stoughton 806 S. First 1011 S. Locust 907 Second 101 E. Green 702/704 W. Elm 803 W. Green 903 W. Oregon

Studios &1 Bedrooms 408 E. Stoughton 708 S. First 805-7-9 S. First 806 S. First 901 S. First 903 S. First 905 S. First 907 S. Second 909 S. First 1011 S. Locust 504 E. White 509 E. Green 610/614 S. Fourth

101 E. Green St.

56/58 E. Daniel

Bedroom Units • Internet Included • Cable Included • Water Included • Fully Furnished • Outdoor Pool • Sand Volleyball • Limited Short-term leases

Bedroom Units • Aﬀordable apts. at the corner of First and Green • Parking • High-Speed Internet • 1 1/2 Baths

3 Bedrooms

101 E. Green 109 E. John 305 E. Green 306 1/2 E. Green 309/311 E. Daniel 515 Bash Court

4 Bedrooms

101 E. Green 207 E. Green 309/311 E. Daniel 909 S. Third

Showings avail. Mon. thru Sat. by appointment only

351-8900 Roland Realty

Parking available, laundry available

www.smithapartments-cu.com dec 18 – Dec 25 08

DON’T FORGET TO ASK ABOUT OUR NEW PROPERTIES 351-8900 www.309Green.com

351-8900 www.lofts54.com come and get it

buzz classifieds 15

APARTMENTS Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

1007 S. FIRST

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

111 E. Chalmers, C.

Aug 2009. Near First & Gregory. 2 bdrm apts from $645/mo. Window A/ C, Carpet, Laundry. Parking included. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

August 2009 Studio and 1 bedrooms. Furniture, skylights, offstreet parking, laundry. Value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

101 N. BUSEY & 102 N. LINCOLN, U.

202 E. SPRINGFIELD, C.

Aug 2009. Near Green & Lincoln. 2 bdrm apts from $560/mo. Window A/C, Laundry. Parking $45/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

207/211 John C.

August 2009. 1 bedroom units conveniently located close to campus. Rent from $410/mo. Central A/C, dishwashers, balconies. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

907 W. STOUGHTON, U

2, 3,4 BR. Great Location, on-site laundry, parking. 3 BR with 2.5 bath/ spa with own washer/dryer. 4 BR with leather furniture plus Flat screen TV. Value Pricing from 420/ person. 309 S. First C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

Aug 2009. Huge 2 bdrm apt in great location near Engineering. Central A/C, laundry. From $650/mo. Parking $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

306.5 E. Green (3rd & Green) 3 bedroom apts

207 E. Green (2nd and Green)

4 bedroom apts

• Free Internet • Near Quad • Near bars and resturants

• Free Internet • 1 ½ baths • 3 story townhouses

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

www.roysebrinkmeyer.com

Best Selection in Town - over 1000 apts. 211 W. Springfield, Champaign 217-352-1129

420 APARTMENTS

Furnished 304 E. Clark, C. Castle Apartments

3 blocks to Engineering Quad and supermarket. 4 BR $1120. 3 BR $850. New C/A, ceiling fan, dishwasher, washer/dryer in unit. 3841099, castle_apt@comcast.net

102 N. GREGORY, U. Aug 2009. Close to Illini Union. 2 bdrms $560/mo, Carpet, Laundry. Parking $45/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-173 www.barr-re.com

604 E. White, C. Security Entrance For Fall 2009, Large studio, 1 bedroom, Loft Apartment. Furnished, balconies, patios, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

503-505-508 E. White, C Fall 2009. 2 and 3 bedrooms. Furnished with internet. Parking and laundry available, new kitchens, value pricing. On-site resident manager. Call Justin 359-7297. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

901-905-909 S. First (1st & Daniel) 1 bdrm & studio apts • Most utilities included • At Roland Pool • On 22 bus line ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

605 S. Fifth, C. Fall 2009 5th and Green location Outdoor activity area. 1, 2 and 3 bedrooms available. Garage offstreet parking, laundry, and value pricing. $1500. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

506 E. Stoughton, C. For August 2009. Extra large efﬁciency apartments. Security building entry, complete furniture, laundry, off-street parking, value pricing. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

509 Bash Court, C. Fall 2009 Great 3 and 5 bedrooms, near 6th and Green. Fully furnished, dishwashers, laundry, and value pricing. Off-street parking. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

601 W. Oregon, U. 3 bedrooms- 2 or 3 Baths Furnished, Free Laundry Free parking (1 space/br) SCHOOL YEAR LEASE

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

702 W. WESTERN, U August 2009. 1 Bedrooms, Window A/C, Carpet/Tile Floors, Laundry, Parking Available. From $425/mo to $550/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

705 W. Stoughton, U Fall 2009 3 bedroom apartment. Spacious living area. Communal balcony & great backyard. Plus a bar area in kitchen, dishwaser, washer/ dryer in each unit, value pricing from $250/person. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

1107 S. EUCLID, C Aug 2009. 1 bdrms near Armory, IMPE, & Snack Bar. Window A/C, laundry, rents from $390/mo to $415/ mo. Parking $35/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1107 S. 4TH, C.

www.weinercompanies.com

For August 2009. 4 and 5 bedroom lofts. Best location. Completely furnished. Laundry, parking garage, elevator, ﬂat screen TV. $1650/mo. Phone 352-3182. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, Ch. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com

805-807-809 S. First (1st and Daniel)

504 E. White (5th and White)

• On 22 bus line • Near Roland Pool • Most utilities included

• August leasing • Laundry nearby • Most utilities included

ROLAND REALTY 351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

217-384-8018

1 bedroom apts

Studio Apts

Furnished

420 APARTMENTS

ARBOR APARTMENTS, C.

Furnished

420

807 to 809 W. ILLINOIS, U

Aug 2009. 1 bdrms at Third & Gregory across from Snack Bar. Window A/C, laundry, rents from $390/mo to $415/mo. Parking $35/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

Aug 2009. 1 Bdrms corner of Lincoln & Illinois. Window A/C, Laundry, Rent $550/mo. Parking $50/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

JOHN & LOCUST, C

Fall 2009 1, 2, 3 bedrooms. Location, Location. Large Tri-Level and Vaulted Ceiling, Covered parking, laundry, furnished, patios. Value pricing. $1590. Ofﬁce at 309 S. First, C. THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182 Second Semester 408 E White, C. Remodeled, 1 bedroom apartment No Pets. $460 Steve Frerichs 369-1182 stevesapartments.com

Aug 2009. Huge one bdrms, Window A/C. Rents from $380/mo to $450/mo. Parking $20/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

508, 510, & 512 E. STOUGHTON, C. August 2009. Huge 1 bdrm plus den and 2 bdrms. Close to Engineering & C/S. A/C, Laundry, Parking $55/ mo. Rent from $555/mo to $760/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

KARMA

One Bedroom Residences Downtown Champaign A complete regeneration of living space in downtown Champaign. These artistically inspired residences are fully furnished and feature IKEA furniture and cabinetry, hardwood ﬂoors, video security, off street parking, and laundry on site. KARMA is designed to be a fusion of art and living in a contemporary urban environment. Barr Real Estate, Inc. 217-356-1873 www.barr-re.com

1006 S. 3rd, C.

602 E. Stoughton, C Fall 2009. Unique 1 & 2 bedroom apartments. All furnished, laundry, internet, value pricing and parking available. Must see! THE UNIVERSITY GROUP www.ugroup96.com 352-3182

404 W. HIGH, U. Aug 2009. Huge 2 bdrms- 1,100 sq. ft. W/D in each unit. From $695/mo to $735/mo. Parking. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

105 E. Green, C Aug 2009. Studio apts at First & Green. Wall A/C units, laundry. From $305/mo to $325/mo. Parking $35/ mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com Spring/Summer 09. $390 includes all utilities, internet, parking. Own bed/bath. 217-328-5468

2 BEDROOMS

Many Utilities Included! Great units near the POOL at: •56/58 E. Daniel St. Come between classes! No appointment necessary Roland Realty- 217-351-8900 www.roland-realty.com

APARTMENTS

430

Unfurnished 115 W. WASHINGTON, U

August 2009. 1 bdrms. Window A/C, Laundry. From $360/mo to $495/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

One Bedrooms Old Town Champaign One Bedrooms now available. 605 W University $395/mo 811 W Hill $430/mo Call 217-352-8540 or visit faronproperties.com

722 S. BROADWAY, U. August 2009. 1 bdrm apts close to Campus. window A/C. Rents $400/ mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

www.the217.com

dec 18 – Dec 25 08

16 classifieds buzz

APARTMENTS

430 HOUSES FOR RENT

Unfurnished

510

602 W. 301-303 1/2 W. MICHIGAN, U. Aug 2009. 3 Bdrm house in quiet GREEN, U neighborhood close to campus.

Aug 2009. 1 bdrm & 2 bdrm apts from $505/mo. Close to Urbana Library and Downtown. Free Parking, Shown 7 days a week. BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

REMODELED 305 W. Elm, U

3 BR or 2 BR plus study New kitchen, A/C, pkg, deck/patio Available Fall 2009 @ $695/mo The Weiner Companies, Ltd. 1-217-384-8001 www.weinercompanies.com

Near Lincoln Ave. Avail. Fall 09 Eff.,1 BR’s, & 2 BR’s w/ pkg, laundry, HW floors and MOST utilities. $385-$825/mo.

weinercompanies.com 384-8018

Hardwood, tile & carpet. W/D. Rent $1,100/mo. Call for showing times. BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com

410 W. California Furnished 4 BR, 2 1/2 Bath, $1,600/mo., great woodwork Front porch, W/D, parking The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

217-384-8001

www.weinercompanies.com

ROOMS

530

Avail. Jan 1st 1010 Spg. Urb. Eng. Campus, One Block to Siebel. One room in 4 Bed/ 2 Bath Apt. (Men) 344-3008 AVAILABLE NOW $355, 367-6626

603 W. Green, U.

Available Now. Own Bed/Bath in 4 BR. 217-328-5468.

2 or 3 Bedroom Heat & Water Included Hwd Floors, Free Laundry

Room at Green Island Eco-Village/ Organic Farm/Yoga Center, vegetarian kitchen, 1 mile NE of Urbana, city bus service, $350/mo. utilities included. 369-1076.

The Weiner Companies, Ltd.

217-384-8018

www.weinercompanies.com

HOUSES FOR RENT

510

10 Bedroom Fifth & University 5 1/2 Baths, 3 Kitchens 3 Living Rooms FREE PARKING Full Basement Rec-Room www.zhengrentals.com 841-5407

Campus Houses 803 S. First- 8- 9 BD 803 S. Locust- 7 BD 308 -1/2 W. William- 4 BD 407 E. White- 6 BD 407 -1/2 E. White- 6 BD 409 E. White- 6 BD 303 S. Fifth- 5 BD 9 Month Lease Available www.mhmproperties.com 337-8852 3 BR house. Excellent condition, parking for three included. Two blocks from Siebel Center. $1290/mo. 417-7018.

ROOMMATE WANTED 550 Female Roommate Wanted W/D in unit. $340/mo. Urbana. ms234567@yahoo.com M/F available now! Own bed/bath, $390 all utilities included. Call 3285122. M/F, Now or January. Own Bed/ Bath. $390, Includes it all! 217-3285468

ADOPTION

we’re going all 1940s on your ass

850

Adoption & Egg Donation

ADOPTION IS LOVE Caring teacher and counselor very ready to become moms. We have been happily in love for 13 years and offer lots of opportunities, traditions, laughter, and unconditional love. Let's work together. Call us toll free anytime at 877-595-9522 or debandshellyadopt@gmail.com.

Campus Group Houses, Urbana 5-10 Bedrooms. LCD TV. Free parking and laundry. FROM $340/BEDROOM. 367-6626.

Cozy Campus Home 312 W. Illinois, U.+$1100/mo. Unfurnished 3 BR, 2 BA, garage, C/A, hardwood floors, washer/dryer included The Weiner Companies, LTD. 217-384-8001 www.weinercompanies.com

Listen to “A Christmas Carol” live on WPGU.

the217.com

Tune in this Sunday as the sun sets and listen to a live reading of Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol.” Grab some hot cocoa, your favorite WWII replica blanket, and gather around the radio for this epic Christmas tale to get you in the holiday spirit.

Cool 5 BR House in Champaign Available Fall 2009

$200 OFF if you sign a lease before the end of 2008!

Near Green & Neil, Everything New in 2008. 2 Full Bathrooms with Jet Spa jacuzzi’s, Stainless steel appliances, Free 42” Plasma TV!

Wherever your break takes you, you can take WPGU with you. Listen to WPGU online at www.the217.com. Though it may suck to be home, you won’t be alone. WPGU is here 24/7.

BMI Management Free Call 217.390.9900 Parking! dec 18 – Dec 25 08 www.BMIcity.com

come and get it

buzz 17

c u s o u n d r e v i e w by Mike Ingram

Come on already, 2009 Lots to cover since this is the last issue of the year, so we’ll jump right into tonight’s shows, which include Live Karaoke Band back at home at Cowboy Monkey (10 p.m., $5), which is where you should be if you want to wail. Otherwise, Mike ‘n Molly’s is celebrating its tenth anniversary by hosting a show featuring Lollipop Factory, Terminus Victor, and Scurvine. That’s a ton of rock at a great bar, so get out there for the 9 p.m. start. Things get interesting on Friday, when the whole tribute band thing goes a step farther as the Canopy Club presents This Must Be The Band, a Talking Heads tribute that apparently recreates Stop Making Sense. This might be going a little too far, but you can find out for yourself at 9 p.m. for $8. Or, if you’re not feeling tribute-y, the Iron Post is putting up funk-soul rockers Beat Kitchen, with Curb Service on opening duties. That show also starts at 9 p.m. and it likely carries a five dollar cover. Across the aisle at Cowboy Monkey, local (well, for now — sadly it looks like he’ll move to Nevada soon, so catch him while you can) emcee Krukid has assembled a solid lineup of indie rock and hip-hop acts into a mash-up kind of show. Krukid himself will open the show with DJ Belly backing him, followed by Columbus, Ohio, emcee Catalyst (featuring DJ Pos 2). Up next is Baton Rouge outfit We Landed On The Moon!, who will be coming off of a week-long tour out east with Elsinore in markets like New York City, Toronto, and Pittsburgh. The band will split with Elsinore to land here in CU before heading south towards home. Another Ohio hip-hopper, Zero Star (also featuring DJ Pos 2), will follow, before local rockers Santa unleash their catchy tunes. Closing the show is Mathien, a Chicago songwriter who mixes many of the night’s musical style into a full-band package of alternative hip-hop and soul. The show is set to kick off at 9:30 p.m., with a $5 cover if you get there before 10:30 or so ($7 after). Check out the show listing on openingbands.com for links to pages for all of the acts. Saturday’s best bet is at the Clark Bar, where the Impalas (featuring Dawna Nelson) will play

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with special guests Ian Shepherd (Temple of Low Men, the Nadas) on drums, and Peter “Rudeball” Roubal on second guitar. Hopefully there will be a guitar duel between Roubal and Impalas guitarist Bruiser Rummenie. The Impalas have long been one of the best blues bands in the area, with Nelson’s soaring voice taking center stage. This show appears to be free, but you may encounter a small cover charge. The downbeat is at 8 p.m. In a column earlier this year I highlighted a tour stop in town from former local pedal steel player (now famous and award-winning in the world of country music) Dave Easley. You can check out myspace.com/davefeasley for more info on all of the greats he has played with, but let’s just say he’s very good, and that he’ll be playing two shows while here in CU this week. On Sunday (21st) he’ll be sitting in with Jazz Sandwich (a band already full of virtuosos) at the Iron Post from 7-10 p.m. Then on Tuesday he’ll move just down the block to the Embassy Tavern where he’ll hook up with the Surreal Deal from 8:30-11:30 p.m. Both bands are loaded with some of the area’s best musicians, so adding a great pedal steel player seems like a pretty solid idea. Neither show has a cover listed, but there might be a small one or a tip jar out — whatever it might be, it’s worth it for these match ups. Now we’re at Christmas and overeating and all of that, but once you’ve recovered, there is a New Year’s Eve Eve show for those of you who want to get your partying out of the way (or be drunk for more than a day). Cowboy Monkey will host a Darling Disarm reunion show (Kayla Brown will return from Nashville and Tyler Bundy will trek back from Boston). Can you call it a reunion if we only stopped playing shows four months ago? Sure, why not. Starting at 9:30 p.m., the show will also feature a set from Brandon T. Washington, Andy Lund, and Ian Shepherd (3/5 of Temple of Low Men) and Rocket Science (Dawna Nelson and Josh Quirk). More acts are likely, and it’ll just be an excuse for a bunch of musicians to sit in on each other’s songs.

—Mike Ingram can be reached at forgottenwords@gmail.com.

d o i n ’ i t w e l l by Kim Rice & Ross Wantland

Overcoming Penis Envy Learning to love the junk you’ve got We’ve spoken many times about the unrealistic body messages that women receive from the media and their peers. We’ve written about how porn gives us unrealistic ideas about how our genitals should look and behave. But men shouldn’t have worries about their bodies, right? Wrong. While the media portrays more realistic variations in men’s bodies, only a certain version of the penis — upright, hard, long — gets promoted. “Doin’ It Well” thought we might give the penis a long, hard stare.

Check It Out Even though we weren’t supposed to be looking, we have learned from a variety of places what men’s penises should look like. There’s a misperception that because men had to shower in PE classes or use urinals next to one another, that they automatically have a sense of the diversity of penises. Although men may have been able to “sneak a peek,” checking out other men’s packages is a big no-no. So what are we left with? Self reports and porn. Famously most men tend to exaggerate their penis size when asked. Also, porn tends to show only a couple types of penises: long and longer. We are therefore left with few places from which to learn what “normal” penises look like.

How Do I Compare? Consequently, many guys wonder how their junk compares to other men. A number of studies have attempted to figure out what is “average” for men’s penises throughout the world. Researchers have found that the average length (measured from the abdomen to the tip of the penis) of a flaccid penis is 34 inches, and the average length of an erect penis is 5-6 inches. Additionally, there tends to be a lot less variation in the length of erect penises than flaccid ones. Research also shows that most men overestimate what they believe is average penis size and judge themselves against this incorrect measurement. In addition, studies have repeatedly found that size does not vary significantly from one ethnic group to another. In addition to size, many men have a variety of curvatures in their erect penises. Some erect penises point down, forward, left, right, up, or some combination thereof. If you want to check out a wide range of healthy, normal, and beautiful flaccid and erect penises, check out www. erectionphotos.com, a Web site with hundreds of penis pictures (in the name of research).

The Big Question Many of men’s anxieties (just check your spam inbox if you don’t believe us) center around penis length. Pumps, herbal treatments, pills — they all claim to increase the size of your Johnson. Not surprising when conversations about John Holmes, Ron Jeremy, and 14-inch erections were the subject of many young men’s awe. But, does size really matter? The answer is not simply yes or no. In terms of physical pleasure — either yours or the pleasure your partner is able to experience during sex, the answer is no, unless we make it matter. There are countless sexual acts and countless variations to those acts to explore if a penis is too big or too small to be comfortable. In addition, there are also countless individual preferences that make it impossible to have the exact right “size” for all partners. Keep in mind, penis size doesn’t vary that much and if someone is focused on size, they may be losing sight of how to actually experience pleasure. At the same time, our spam inbox shows us that size does “matter,” because we make it matter. When we make the big penis a symbol of virility, a good lover, and masculinity, then we might all begin to believe that it means these things in reality. We become fascinated by large penises in such a way that makes the long penis itself the object of fantasy — even if we wouldn’t even really enjoy having one in actuality. Penis size can also be used to emasculate or put men down, even though the facts don’t back this up (very few men have abnormally small penises). Penis putdowns are sex negative! Much more important than the penis are the people connected to those penises, and their ability to care, laugh, and love. If you have questions about your penis or the way it functions, talk to a healthcare provider. These questions are more common than you think!

Sex 411: A Long Look Bordo, S. The Male Body: A New Look at Men in Public and Private Cohen, J. The Penis Book Moore, M. & de Costa, C. Dick: A User’s Guide Paley, M. The Book of the Penis

Stay tuned till next week when we’ll say, “Suck it!” Kim and Ross need to know you actually read this far. Send them an e-mail at buzzdoinitwell@yahoo.com

dec 18 – Dec 25 08

18 buzz

Free Will Astrology ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

What I foresee for you in 2009 is an upgrade in your approach to creating and maintaining your alliances. I envision you having dramatically enhanced intuition about how to connect with people in satisfying and interesting ways. I picture you being able to push beyond your habit-bound ways of conducting your relationships, ensuring that you’ll be entertained and moved by them more than ever before. If I could give you a symbolic holiday gift to inspire you in this work, it might be a long, thick golden thread interwoven with a long, thick silver thread. Happy Holy Daze, Aries!

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)

Happy Holy Daze, Taurus! If I were gong to give you a holiday gift, it might be a ticket to go visit your imaginary friend -- you know, the invisible ally you’ve been neglecting . . . the sweet, fierce companion who lives in the threshold between the light and dark . . . the “other you” who abides there patiently on the cusp between waking and dreaming, hoping that someday you will fully embrace your relationship. Don’t worry, your imaginary friend isn’t demanding or possessive in the least, but mostly just wants you to think of your link every now and then so that you might feel less alone.

j o n e s i n ’

dec 18–dec 25

-- that you’ve never mastered the art of swashbuckling -- you will have an excellent chance to fix that problem in the coming months. In fact, I’m tempted to name 2009 as the Year of the Swashbuckle for you Libras. If I could give you a symbolic holiday gift to get you started, it might be a superhero’s costume created by a top fashion designer. Happy Holy Daze!

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

One of your most fun assignments in 2009 will be not only to think way outside of the box but also to think way outside of the bigger and more interesting (but nonetheless boxy) boxes that all the outside-the-box thinkers customarily think inside. That’s why, if I could give you a Christmas, Hanukkah, Solstice, and Kwanza gift, it would be a nice, clean, square, white box punched full of big holes with ragged edges where the inside has burst into the outside. Happy Holy Daze, Gemini!

CANCER

(June 21-July 22)

CAPRICORN

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22)

Happy Holy Daze, Leo! If I could give you one gift for the holidays, it might be a magic object to add to your love altar -- something like a pomegranate resting on red velvet, or a golden heart-shaped magnet, or Pablo Neruda’s book 100 Love Sonnets. What? You don’t have a love altar? Well then please begin creating one as soon as possible, and continue building it throughout 2009. For the next 12 months, the time will be right to get smarter, wilder, and kinder in your approach to creating intimate connection.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

“My deepest emotional wound has also been the source of inexhaustible blessings.” I’m not going to tell you why that statement is true for me -- it’s way too personal -- but I assure you that it’s one of the fundamental facts about my destiny. Could you make a similar assertion, Virgo? Is it possible to interpret your life in such a way that you could see how a painful experience you suffered in the past has also given you tremendous insight, inspiration, and vitality? Two thousand nine will be an excellent year to make that leap of understanding. And the time around the solstice -- right now! -- is a perfect moment to get started.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

At Salon.com’s forum “Table Talk,” participants were urged to come up with a six-word sentence that captured the essence of their lives. One person wrote, “Broke. Payday. Broke. Payday. Broke. Payday.” Another said, “Oh, no, not again. Again. Again.” But the testimony I really wanted to call your attention to is this: “I never learned how to swashbuckle.” Why is this pertinent for you? Because I believe that if you have a similar regret dec 18 – Dec 25 08

Y o u ”-- n o

theme,

Happy Holy Daze, Scorpio! If I could give you one symbolic gift to set the right tone for 2009, it might be a clear glass vase with a potato growing partially submerged in water, allowing you to see its gnarly roots. I’d hope that would inspire you to put diligent yet playful effort into getting reacquainted with and exploring your own personal source code -- you know, the master plan of your life that you formulated before you were born. The coming months will be an excellent time to cultivate a wise innocence as you get to the bottom of who you really are. Let’s say that on Christmas Eve, Santa Claus hopes to deliver toys to every child who believes in him. Thanks to the fact that his distribution area stretches over many time zones, he’ll have at least 24 hours to accomplish this feat. Still, that means he’s got to visit approximately a thousand homes per second. I don’t know what astrological sign Santa is, but if he’s a Sagittarius he’ll have the highest possible chance at success. Beginning any day now, and lasting throughout 2009, your tribe will have the potential to move faster, think quicker, and multi-task better than every other tribe. If I were going to give you a symbolic holiday gift, it would be greased lightning. Happy Holy Daze!

In the Broadway play “Passing Strange,” the narrator Stew says, “You know how one morning you wake up as an adult and you realize your entire life is based on a decision you made as a teenager?” If that description applies to you, Cancerian, 2009 will be the best year ever to do something about it. In the coming months, you will have the power to correct errors or misjudgments you made way back when. You’ll be able to figure out how to start over in an area of your life that you’ve always assumed you were doomed to accept just the way it is. You may even find that you can, in a sense, change the past and reconfigure your memories.

“L e t t e r s E n t e r ta i n j u s t s w e e t , s w e e t vo ca b .

Four out of every five people testify that if such a thing were possible, they would buy more time. If you’re one of those four, I’m here to tell you that conditions in the coming months will provide some interesting opportunities. While you may not be able to actually purchase more of that precious commodity, it’s quite possible that you’ll be able to legally steal it, barter for it, and even create it from scratch. I’ve got to be cryptic here, because the promise I’m hinting at is of course not true in a strictly literal sense: You’ll have to tweak your imagination and think a bit sideways and upside-down in order to cash in on the temporal expansions that will be available.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

When she applied for admission to New York University as an undergraduate, Rehka Malhotra was rejected. Years later, after she’d become a well-known Brooklyn DJ, that same school invited her to teach a class, “Pop Culture: South Asians in the U.S.” “It was the sweetest revenge,” she told Good magazine. I predict a comparable development for you in the coming year, Aquarius. You will find power in a place where you were formerly weak, or you will achieve success in a situation that once shut you out.

PISCES

(Feb. 19-March 20)

Happy Holy Daze, Pisces! My gift to you is advice about the coming year. First, read this quote from W.H. Auden’s book The Dyer’s Hand. “A daydream is a meal at which images are eaten. Some of us are gourmets, some gourmands, and a good many take their images precooked out of a can and swallow them down whole, absentmindedly and with little relish.” With this as your touchstone, I urge you to be a gourmet in your approach to daydreaming during 2009. It will be time for you to make your fantasy life into an art form instead of a chaotic, unconscious diversion. If you put more intention into your generation of mental images, you will find yourself better able to create what you really want. Homework: What’s the one feeling you want to feel

more than any other in 2009? Go to RealAstrology.com; click on “Email Rob.”

Solution in Classifieds.

Across

1 Makeshift hiding place during a sleepover 11 Word after floor or fluorescent 15 Pretty good (but not great), as chances go 16 Figure skater Kulik 17 White as a sheet 18 Tom and Katie’s kid 19 Salem, Massachusetts’ county 20 Type of band with a clarinetist 22 She predated 41-across 23 Jungfrau, e.g. 26 Take in 27 Meditation syllables 28 First Lady between Lou and Bess 30 ___ card (removable mobile phone storage unit) 33 How the Utne Reader is published 35 Drive-___ window 36 Sequential 37 They emit light and radio waves 40 “___ and the Real Girl” (2007 movie) 41 Israeli Prime Minister who resigned in 2001 43 “Able was I ___ I saw Elba” (notable palindrome) 44 Type of arrest 46 Pablo Neruda poem 47 Anti-apartheid party, for short 48 Sneaky 49 Heal, like broken bones 50 Hardcore genre 54 Curriculum ___ (career summary) 55 Town near Ventura, California 56 Without identification 60 Comet component 61 With no difficulty 62 One of two on a car 63 They can be caused by a vitamin K deficiency

Down

1 Ride that’s transparent and bulletproof 2 Busy learning during the day, perhaps 3 Minimalist’s motto 4 It’s a little over 61 cubic inches 5 Dark form of quartz 6 “Huh?!?,” in Internet shorthand 7 Org. with a refinancing program to help victims of subprime mortgages 8 Goblinlike Tolkien creature 9 Stink up the joint 10 Punk rocker with the backup band The Pharmacists 11 “Mephisto Waltz” composer 12 Grad 13 Boggy earth 14 Boxer shorts quantity, even though it’s just one 21 Bud’s spot 23 Old, in German 24 “The Elements” satirist Tom 25 Bud 28 Defensive position 29 Cold medicine brand introduced in 1968 30 Manson Family victim 31 Sterilized food, in a way 32 Athos’s gang 34 Restricted hosp. areas 35 Org. that restricts liquids on flights 38 Saddam’s son 39 “Cop Rock” network 42 Computer storage units, for short 44 It includes the brain and spinal cord (abbr.) 45 Word yelled on a set 47 Double-jointed, maybe 49 “Roots” surname 50 “Have you ___ second?” 51 Mythological name on a cleaning bottle 52 Catch, like a criminal 53 Part of A.D. come and get it

buzz 19

M I C H A E L C O U LT E R And another thing ...

Douchebaggery Prevails in Illinois

bromley hall

Once again, number one in the nation Well, it’s a fine time to be an Illinoisan. Okay, it’s probably not the proudest I’ve ever been, but you can’t say it’s not at least interesting. Our state has been on the news quite a lot lately. Sadly, it’s not because we’ve created a ton of new jobs or because the next president is from our part of the country. It’s because our governor is a freaking moron. As far as politics go, um, let’s see, Jim Edgar was a decent sort of fella and we’ve still got that whole Lincoln legacy, but other than that it appears everyone else in Illinois politics is as crooked as a dog’s hind leg. Fine, it’s probably not fair to say all politicians in Illinois are crooked, but on the other hand, I must admit it makes me wonder. Actually, it makes me wonder what the shelf life is on democracy. We voted the silly bastard into office and the other people we elected to go to Springfield allowed Governor Rod Blagojevich’s crooked ass to continue leading our state even after we stopped paying many of our bills. The guy has done nothing but lead ineffectively and we all allowed him to keep doing it. Everyone deserves a little blame. That was bad enough when it just appeared he was unfit to lead. It got much worse last week, however, when it became news that the FBI had taped his phone and found out about all the cheating that was going on. I’m sure you all know the dirty details by now, so I won’t go into all of that. Let’s just say our governor was one crooked bastard. Judging by the transcripts of his phone records, he has the balls of a prize bull, the brains of an eight-year-old, and the mouth of a sailor. It’s a volatile combination. I suppose that since I live in this state I should be appalled and embarrassed but honestly I really just find it all amusing. In fact, the entire incident lead to one of the best-written headlines ever on the Yahoo news page, “Can Obama escape the taint of Blagojevich?” Well, I sure hope he can in more ways than one. The taint of Blagojevich is not a place you want to find yourself, my friend. Get out as quickly as possible. There were some other amusing things, as well. The day before he was arrested, Blagojevich was asked during a press conference if there was a dark cloud over his head. He answered that he felt there was nothing but sunshine over his head. He may be correct, but only if “Sunshine” turns out

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to be his ironically named cellmate at one of our nation’s finer penitentiaries. Either way, the whole thing was just bizarre. The ridiculous smile on his face only made it creepier. Even I’ll admit though, he’s nothing if not sort of interesting. He apparently has no brains and no conscience and no vocabulary, also a volatile combination. The transcripts read like the script to a Quentin Tarantino movie, motherbleeper this, I bleeping deserve this, kiss my bleep. The only thing he didn’t point out was what a complete bleeping bleephead he was. In case you’re wondering, the bleeps weren’t really bleeps, but instead dirty swear words. This was, for some reason, pointed out several times during the press conference. Maybe they thought the rest of us Illinoisans were as ignorant as our leader. I generally like folks who swear a lot, but for some reason, this really did nothing for me. There’s just too much douchbaggery involved. Evidently, he’s not especially self-aware either. In one of the transcripts, he talks about the kind of a job he would expect to be appointed to if he makes the right guy the next senator from Illinois. He would have been fine being an ambassador. Holy freaking crap, dude, you cannot get along with anyone. How the piss are you going to be an ambassador? The United States doesn’t hate any country enough to throw your idiot ass at them. Some have pointed out that he may simply be insane. I don’t know, but in a way, it’s sort of hard to argue otherwise. I would probably bet it’s somewhere in that gray area of being completely out to lunch but not clinically insane. Even more than that though, it mostly just seems to be arrogance. He may talk tough and act tough, but just looking at him I get the distinct impression that he’s nothing but a spoiled little candyass. If nothing else, that will make it more enjoyable when it all crumbles around him. The worst part of all of this is that every time you see the guy, even now, he’s got that dumbass smile on his face. It’s creepy and confident, like the simple bastard still thinks he’s going to get away with all of this. I really doubt that he will, but I suppose you never know. Either way, the damage has already been done. It’s that whole fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. Well, let’s see, the Illinois governors have fooled us four times so far. It’s not ideal for anyone involved, but from here on out, I think you’ve just got to assume everyone in Springfield is crooked. At least that way you won’t be surprised when you eventually find out you were correct.

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