Buzz Magazine: Dec. 21, 2006

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CO M E TO GE T H ER F O R

GLOBAL ORGASM DAY pg.5 pg.4

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HOLIDAY SHOPPING AT LE SHOPPE

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LORENZO GOETZ’S LAST HURRAH

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KRANNERT ART MUSEUM EXHIBITS

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IT IS EASIER TO GET FORGIVENESS THAN PERMISSION.

D e c e m b e r 21, 2 0 0 6

Open Late to Accomodate W W W .

L A B A M B A B U R R I T O S .

C O M

no.50

Cover Photo • Amelia Moore Cover Design • Hank Patton Editor in Chief • Erin Scottberg Art Director • Brittany Bindrim Copy Chief • Meghan Whalen Listen, Hear • Anna Statham Stage, Screen & in Between • Elyse Russo Around Town • Tatyana Safronova CU Calendar • Annette Gonzalez Photography Editor • Amelia Moore Designers • Hank Patton, Monica Betel, Renee Okumura Calendar Coordinator • Brian McGovern Photography • Amelia Moore Copy Editors • Lisa Fisherkeller, Emily Ciaglia, Ilana Katz, Whitney Harris Staff Writers • Brian McGovern, Carlye Wisel, Amy Meyer Contributing Writers • Michael Coulter, Seth Fein, Mike Ingram, Kim Rice, Kate Ruin Sales Manager • Mark Nattier Marketing/Distribution • Brandi Wills Publisher • Mary Cory

TALK TO BUZZ e-mail: buzz@readbuzz.com write: 512 E. Green St. Champaign, IL 61820 call: 217.337.3801 We reserve the right to edit submissions. Buzz will not publish a letter without the verbal consent of the writer prior to publication date.

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First copy of Buzz is FREE, each additional copy is $.50 © Illini Media Company 2006

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INTRO This Modern World • Tom Tomorrow Life in Hell • Matt Groening First Things First • Michael Coulter

AROUND TOWN Christmas Cookies • Tatyana Safronova Community Spotlight: Holiday Fun • Julia Kandlik, Laura Sullivan The Local Sniff • Seth Fein

LISTEN, HEAR Lorenzo Goetz’s Last Show • Stan McConnell Nicodemus New Year’s Party • Jason Birkan CU Sound Revue • Mike Ingram Spin it/Flip it/Reverse it • Carlye & Brian Album review

| 10 - 11 |

CU CALENDAR

| 12 - 14 |

STAGE, SCREEN & IN BETWEEN

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Krannert Art Exhibits • Emily Cotterman & Meghan Whalen Top 10 Holiday Movies

| 15 |

CLASSIFIEDS

| 16 - 20 |

THE STINGER

16 16 17 17

Doin’ it Well • Kim Rice & Kate Ruin Jonesin’ Crosswords • Matt Gaffney Free Will Astrology Likes and Gripes

erin scottberg EDITOR’S NOTE

I

1905 Glenn Park Dr

& 606 S. Sixth Street Champaign, Il INTRO | A ROUND TOWN | L ISTEN, HEAR | CU CALENDAR | STAGE, S CREEN &

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UNDER THE COVER

BUZZ STAFF volume

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IN

’m not going to lie: as excited as I am about graduating, the thought of not having a winter break for the rest of my life is a little depressing. Over the past 23 years, I’ve really gotten used to this three months off every summer, one week every November and March and three or four weeks in January — it’s pretty sweet. However, after four and a half years here, I’m ready to get to take a swing at the real world.

Before I go, however, I want to share some of the lessons I’ve learned during my stint here — there are plenty of things I know now that I wished I knew as a freshman, sophomore or even as a first-time senior.

Go Syllabus Collecting: There’s a reason they give you something like 10 days to add classes to your schedule. Spend this time shopping around for classes. During the first week of the semester, go to as many classes as you can regardless of whether or not you’re registered. At the end of the week sit down and make a schedule based on workload, meeting time, location and your impression of the professor. You’ll be much happier getting up at 9 a.m. Monday morning to go to a class with a really awesome professor that assigns genuinely interesting readings than you would be if you got to sleep until 10:30 only to go to some drab lecture that puts you to sleep.

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Seriously, go to office hours: Get to know your profs. They’re interesting people, they’ll help you understand the material, and if you show them how interested you are in class, they’re more likely to help you with an extension that day you have three papers and a test. One of my favorite things about my major (journalism) is that I know all the professors and they know me. I can stop in their offices to get career advice, talk about class or just shoot the shit. It’s a good feeling.

Screw the Red Tape: Sometimes, getting a straight answer from this university is like pulling teeth. Even the most simple questions, like “How much do I owe for tuition?” or “Can I late-drop this class because I didn’t get any grade feedback until three-quarters through the semester?” have long, convoluted answers that require multiple trips across campus, dozens of unreturned phone calls and long, long lines, only to hear “Fill out this petition and we’ll let you know in four to six weeks.“ It’s frustrating as hell, but I’ve learned that if you stay on it and make a pest of yourself, things get done a lot quicker.

Attend University Events: You know all those flyers posted in buildings and around the Quad?

Read them. Then go to their events. One of my biggest regrets is not attending more the lectures and presentations on campus. Take advantage of living in academia while you can.

So that’s about it. This is my last issue of buzz.

I’m kind of choked up. I’m going to really miss it here. I did my goodbyes and thank-yous last week but again, thanks for a great year. Peace. sounds from the scene

D e c e m b e r 21, 2 0 0 6

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J a n ua r y 3 , 2 oo7

buzz weekly •

LEARN FROM MY PARENTS’ MISTAKE. DON’T HAVE KIDS.

3

michael coulter FIRST THINGS FIRST

Blindly shooting a deer Why should the sighted people have all the fun?

Note: Yeah, I know it’s the Christmas season and all that, but geez Louise, I can’t think of any column about the holidays that would be interesting for either one of us, so it’s just gonna be the regular bunch of usual crap. Probably exactly what you expected. Also, I’ll be doing some stand-up stuff tonight (Thursday, Dec. 21) at Cowboy Monkey starting around 7:30 if anyone would like to hear me talk dirty for about 45 minutes or so.

I

’m a big fan of hunting, though I really don’t do it anymore, but guns are a really strange idea to me. I’ve always pretty much been against gun control. Well, I’ve never been against it enough to put up signs along the highway like some folks around here, but I’ve still been against it. If you were to ask me if I think assault rifles should be banned, I would probably say yes, but the problem is the government isn’t really very good at stopping at the good idea, and some bunch of candy asses would then make an attempt to ban every sort of gun. So, I’m all for hunting and guns and all that ... but seriously, I think we have to draw the line somewhere.

The somewhere that line should be drawn is when it comes to blind people. Now I’m usually not one to discriminate against the disabled, but I do think we should have some common sense about the whole damned deal. Apparently, common sense is something many of the people in Texas are missing. Texas State Representative Edmund Kuempel is attempting to pass a law that would allow blind folks to hunt anything that sighted folks can hunt in the great — yet really getting embarrassing — state of Texas.

Yeah, I know, it sounds like it’s something from The Onion, but it’s not, proving beyond a doubt that age-old adage that the truth really is stranger than fiction. Kuempel said, “This opens up the fun of hunting to additional people, and I think that’s great!” Really? See, I think that’s just sort of stupid. What it really probably does is open up the possibility of more accidental shootings.

For crapsake, Dick Cheney is freaking sighted and he popped a cap in his buddy’s ass, so unless we’re trying to thin the herd, I gotta say, blind folks with guns ... um, not a good idea. Granted, if we were to begin thinning the herd, I couldn’t think of a better starting point than Texas, but still.

Now in all fairness, it’s not like they’re advocating putting blind people in the middle of the woods to blast away, um, blindly until they

manage to kill something. These blind hunters would be required to have a sighted hunter with them. Oh, see, this is making more sense by the minute. This way, at least one of the hunters will be able to tell how much an accidental target is bleeding.

It works basically like this. The blind hunter would have an offset pistol scope mounted to the side of his rifle so the sighted hunter could stand behind them, line up the shot, and then give them the order to blast away. They would be allowed to use laser sights, but whatever.

This is essentially like allowing paraplegics to pole vault by saying, “I’ll tape your hands to this pole, push your wheel chair up to the line, and then throw you as high as I can. Hopefully, you’ll go over the bar!”

Essentially, at the killing juncture, all the blind person is doing is pulling a trigger, not really hunting in any significant way. Sure, I’ve never been blind, but I just don’t see all that much joy in such an endeavor. Maybe they could just strap some wild game into an electric chair and let the blind people throw the switch. It’s basically the same concept without all the danger to everyone else.

I don’t know. I never really found hunting all that enjoyable when I went as a kid. I mostly looked around, watched the dogs flush the birds, and usually went home with the same amount of ammunition I started with. I suppose adding a blind person to the mix might have made it more fun for me. “Wow, I know this is legal now, but it still feels so freaking wrong. Let’s keep doing it.” However, if I were the blind person involved in this equation, I think I’d be much happier doing something else.

Like I said, it’s a tough thing to discriminate against a disabled person, but doesn’t a blind person hunting really fall under a different category?

I mean, common sense just sort of tells you it’s not a good idea. The problem is, common sense isn’t really all that common anymore.

At an early age, I was taught how dangerous guns are and the proper way to handle them.

I learned that you shouldn’t point a gun at anything you don’t plan on killing. I was taught a lot of things that I still remember about guns, but the general lesson was, if you’re carrying a gun, don’t be dicking around. Well, as far as I can tell, aiming a gun for someone who can’t see and then allowing them to pull the trigger is pretty much the definition of dicking around. Hey, Mexico, y’all still want Texas back? Seriously.

OOPS! WE MADE A MISTAKE • Although buzz strives for accuracy, we sometimes make mistakes. If you catch something we didn’t,

please let use know at buzz@readbuzz.com. When a correction is needed, it will be listed here.

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around town

A Sweet Holiday Frenzy Spend a night with the baker TATYANA SAFRONOVA • COMMUNITY EDITOR

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TATYANA SAFRONOVA • PHOTO

:00 a.m. Jen McBroom opens the blue door on the west side of Lincoln Square Mall. She has just climbed out of Kurt Zeigler’s smoked-in car and the two hurry inside, out of the cold. They turn right and Jen follows the long corridor to take off her black coat. She puts on a black apron decorated with red, yellow, green and violet bell peppers, onions, artichokes, leaves and flowers, and clocks in. Kurt, her friend and much-appreciated baking assistant, is yelling something to her from the other end of the store but she can’t understand what he’s saying and shrugs in response.

2:05 a.m. Jen turns on the stereo above worktable and plays a mixed disc. “Donnie Darko,” Kurt recognizes. The kitchen becomes animated, and the bakers wind up to a quick pace. Jen has already worked 15 hours in the past 24-hour period: 4 a.m. to 11 a.m., then 2 p.m. to 9 p.m., and then an hour of cleanup.

A little nap here and there and Jen is back, responsible for baking most of the cookies during this holiday season, which rolls around during Thanksgiving at Art Mart. The store picks up with excitement during this season, but it’s located in the quiet Lincoln Square Mall in Urbana. Its signs are falling apart and, it seems, only a holiday bazaar and a handful of stores keep it afloat.

Jen is a cheerful 25-year-old University of Illinois student from St. Joseph studying hospitality management, food science and German. Cautiously but with determination, she is approaching the idea of opening her own restaurant. It will take two decades to start her own place, she guesses — probably not less than that — but Jen wants to be secure and knowledgeable about the business first. The last thing she wants is to become a statistic, because most new restaurants close in their first year.

Jen has been taking baby steps, from when she first started baking to when she impressed her mother with a chocolate dessert for her birthday. Her mother suggested Jen become a chef.

“And then I kind of laughed at her,” said Jen, suddenly realizing, “Wait. I like doing that and I can’t think of anything else that I’d really like to do for the rest of my life. I think that might be it.”

The kitchen at the far end of Art Mart is used for heating premade breads, preparing sandwiches and salads and baking muffins, Danishes, cinnamon rolls, croissants and cookies. Tonight, Jen and Kurt will bake a quadruple batch of milk chocolate chunk cookies and approximately 30 special cookies for the holidays.

2:23 a.m. Jen pours the eggs and the vanilla extract into the mixer. The recipe for a quadruple batch, or 120 four-ounce cookies, calls for over 100 ounces of white and brown sugars. In fact, the recipe calls for more sugar than flour, Jen says.

I believe that the quality of the product depends on the quality of the ingredients, she says, and Art Mart caters well to her philosophy. The cookie dough is made with pure vanilla extract, with Belgian milk chocolate and four whole pounds of butter instead of a single ounce of margarine.

“And I think that’s part of the reason I decided to become a chef,” Jen says, “Because I want my food how I want it, and I’m

Art Mart’s special “holiday” cookies are made with semi-sweet chocolate, Andes mints, peppermint extract and topped with a candy cane, which is slightly melted onto the cookie. really sensitive to off tastes and, you know, processed flavors. I just can’t handle it, so I started making stuff for myself early on.”

Jen and Kurt spoon the dough carefully with ice cream scoops onto 10 trays. After seven minutes on each side in the two ovens, the cookies are ready to be chilled in the racks, but Jen has already moved on to the next project.

During the winter holiday season, Art Mart bakes more than four times the number of cookies than usual — between 1400 and 1500 a week. There are the chocolate cookies — milk chocolate, milk chocolate with walnuts, semi-sweet chocolate, white chocolate with macadamia and peanut butter and chocolate — and there are the dried cherry sugar cookies, peanut butter cookies and oatmeal cookies. Then there are seasonal treats: spiced pumpkin cookies on Thanksgiving and the holiday special in the winter.

2:39 a.m. Jen has placed a pan of hot water on the electric stove. A smaller pan floats in the water with semi-sweet chocolate chips slowly melting inside.

3:08 a.m. Jen mixes eggs and vanilla extract into the cooled, melted chocolate mixed with butter and sugar, then adds flour, Andes mint-chocolate chips and a quarter teaspoon of peppermint extract.

IN

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“A little goes a long way,” she says, and sure enough, soon the entire mixer fills with the cool and fragrant scent of mint. After the cookies bake for six minutes on each side, Jen and Kurt press candy canes into the cookies and Kurt puts them back into the oven, singing along to the entire Christmas South Park album, Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics. It was his turn to choose the tunes.

Kurt helps out four to five early mornings a week in the bakery, cutting Jen’s solo time nearly in half. He grew up in Champaign and as a teenager always wanted to get out of town. Now, he says, he “can see (Champaign) for what it really is.” It grew on him, and now he’s a loyal employee at the store, working in the housewares department, the bakery and everything in between.

4:07 a.m. Jen wipes down the counter, again. Her microbiology and sanitation courses made her extra sanitary, she says — she wipes down everything repeatedly. The trays of cookies are now gone, boxed in the freezer. Jen and Kurt get back into Kurt’s car, while the kitchen stands clean, only a slight tingle of mint hanging in the air until the late morning, when Jen will return at 11. sounds from the scene

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COMMUNITY

snapshot WITH

HOLIDAY FUN

THE GLOBAL ORGASM: EVERYBODY’S DOIN’ IT. LAURA SULLIVAN • STAFF WRITER

S

ome inventive Californians have come up with a new way to promote world peace this holiday season: have an orgasm.

The Global Orgasm Project is orchestrating a worldwide, movement to affect “global consciousness” and maybe even achieve world peace.

They ask any and everyone to participate by having an orgasm on Dec. 22, the Winter Solstice, while thinking of peace.

Call it a wonderful excuse or a cosmic experience to drunk dial your ex, but many students are in on the project. University of Illinois junior Anna Stoiber has marked the date on her agenda.

She thinks the project could work. “People feel good after they have an orgasm. If everyone concentrates their energy ... It makes sense,” she said. She thinks that the chemicals released during sex would account for the project’s success.

Others, like senior Kyle Long, are more skeptical. “I don’t think enough people know about it in relation to the world’s population,” he said. He said he would check to see how many people are participating before thinking about taking part.

Buzz’s own sexperts Kim Rice and Kate Ruin said orgasms could lead to peace, but it depends

buzz weekly •

I AM THROUGH WITH WORKING. WORKING IS FOR CHUMPS.

on how they are done. Ruin says, “We’ve got songs like the 1982 hit ‘Sexual Healing’ that attest to the peaceful healing nature of sex. And then we’ve song[s] like 1990’s ‘Sex is Violent’ by Jane’s Addiction that says just the opposite. Sex in and of itself isn’t peaceful, healing or violent.

It’s all about what you put into it and what you make of it.”

The Global Orgasm Project is brought to you by Baring Witness, a nonprofit organization run by installation artists and authors Donna Ohm Sheehan and Paul Reffell. Their first demonstration in 2002 gathered women in a field in California to spell out the word “Peace” with their naked bodies, and similar demonstrations have followed all over the globe that are recorded on the Baring Witness Web site at www.baringwitness.org.

Recent efforts include a clothed demonstration in Hiroshima, Japan and a demonstration of 300 women in Sydney, Australia, who formed the words “No War” with their naked bodies.

The Global Orgasm Project coordinators point out that a Zero Point Field, or Quantum Field, surrounds everything in the universe and has been physically altered by human thought.

They hope that “orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have a much greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers.” A past mass meditation in India spiked levels on the measures of global consciousness as measured by a group at Princeton University.

Princeton University’s Global Consciousness Project bridges the gap between art, philosophy and science. With 65 instruments, which they call “eggs,” scattered over the globe, they measure the “subtle reach of human consciousness in

the physical world.”

The results of over 200 experiments conducted by the group have been encouraging so far. During global events like 9/11 and the Indian Ocean tsunami, they say people come together in a “shared consciousness” that they can monitor with their egg devices. The results indicate a probability of less than one in 50,000 that the correlation is just a mere chance, according to the public data on their Web site. With such encouraging findings, do what you have to do on Dec. 22; even if it means taking matters into your own hands.

AMELIA MOORE AND AIDAN FINNEGAN • PHOTO

D e c e m b e r 21, 2 0 0 6

Global Orgasm Day is December 22, 2006. The intent of this mission is to add so much concentrated and high-energy positive input into the energy field of the Earth that it will reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world. Global Orgasm day is sponsored by Princeton University.

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STEP INTO LE SHOPPE

JULIA KANDLIK • CONTRIBUTING WRITER

C

indi Adkins was unhappy with her jobs in credit managing, accounting and bookkeeping. Looking for a way to discard her happiness and change her life, she decided to embrace the love she had for rummaging and opened up a boutique. An idea that had been shelved within Cindi’s head for a long time was finally being hatched as she took the necessary steps to open up her own boutique. After many phone calls and a bit of luck Cindi partnered up with her mother, Wanda Merlo, and opened up Le Shoppe.

Le Shoppe, originally located across the street from its current home, 110 E. University Avenue in Champaign, has been open for just over 17 years. Outside the shop you’ll see exotic outfits and funky dresses flying with the wind; inside you’ll feel a wild and unique aura, as well as calming sensations such as burning incense and relaxing music.

“People often have the misconception our store is vintage,” said Cindi. “We do a vintage section in the back, but many of our items are contemporary. We have brands such as Abercrombie, Lucky, Calvin Klein and Hollister. We have leather jackets, and we just got in three pairs of Harley Davidson jeans.” Along with up-to-date clothes, the shop is a haven for unique ideas for holiday presents. The boutique has objects from all over the world, including items from India, Africa and Egypt. Gorgeous tapestries from India are a popular item, as well as the unique jewelry.

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H E A LT H P R A C T I C E

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6 •

buzz weekly

DID YOU KNOW THE CHINESE USE THE SAME WORD FOR ‘CRISIS’ AS THEY DO FOR ‘OPPORTUNITY’?

seth fein THE LOCAL SNIFF

HOLIDAY FUN CONTINUED FROM PG. 5

AMELIA MOORE • PHOTO

There a re a l l sor t s of ot her ex t r aord inary items: ass-less chaps, drums, gargoyles, lingerie, Egyptian statues, African mud cloth, dream catchers, full belly-dancing costumes, hip scarves, arm bands and finger cymbals.

One particularly interesting item is the “singing bowl,” a metal bowl that is sold with a wooden stick. A person is supposed to set the bowl on their open palm and trail the wooden stick around the rim. This movement creates a calming noise.

Originally the bowls were used by Buddhist monks, and now they are now enjoyed around the world by many people for meditation or just sheer enjoyment. Another calming device the store has in stock is meditation cymbals, which are two cymbals connected by a string that one clinks together to produce the same vibrating sound as the singing bowl. So if you want unique items like these that make a good alternative to holiday presents from the mall, stop into Le Shoppe.

Cindi Adkins, owner of ‘Le Shoppe - Ecclectic Boutique’ at 110 E University Avenue in Champaign, IL sits behind the counter joking with customers Thursday afternoon, December 14, 2006.

Le Shoppe is a boutique that sells jewelry, resale and vintage clothing, incense, Egyptian, Indian, African relics and antiques.

Sniffer Reviews 2006 In need of a break; in need of the Nog.

FIRST SNIFF End of the year. I generally list a Top Ten Best Records of the Year, but I feel like that seems too obvious, too traditional.

Instead I am going to list the best moments from this year month by month in regards to whatever I want, Sniffer-style. Enjoy.

January 22, 2006 — Kobe Bryant, of the Los Angeles Lakers, scores 81 points in a single game.

Only Wilt Chamberlain has more with 100 points in one game in 1961. So, it must be deduced that infidelity and sleeping around leads to big numbers on the basketball court. Or so it seems …

February 11, 2006 — Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally/purposely shoots his friend/ enemy while hunting game/illegal immigrants in South Texas/Mexico. Cheney appears distraught/ elated after he waits awhile/four days to talk about it publicly/privately. He is still known as the biggest fuckface/douchebag known to mankind/the whole universe.

March 11th, 2006 — Michelle Bachelet, a moderate Socialist, is sworn in as the first female President of Chile, beating out billionaire asshole Sebastian Pinera with 53.55% of the vote. Back in the States, Hillary Rodham Clinton is to have reportedly said at a cocktail party, “If that bitch can do it, there’s no reason why I shouldn’t be able to!” The Republican men surrounding her snicker under their breaths.

April 11, 2006 — Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad brags to the media about how his country has produced some measly amount of low-grade enriched uranium. President Bush takes a Polaroid of his own penis and has it shipped to Iran via Stealth Bomber with this note: “Check it, dude. Mine curves to the left too!”

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May 1, 2006 — Over one million people participate in “The Great American Boycott” to protest immigration laws. High rates of absenteeism are seen in major American cities. Secretary of Defense exclaims, “See! I told you they were lazy from the get go! They protest by being lazier?

Somebody start building that wall already!”

June 7, 2006 — Supposed Iraqi Al Qaeda leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi is purportedly killed from US carpet bombing in the town of Baqouba, Iraq. Sources close to the leader say that this wasn’t the case. To quote one member of his team of miscreants, “Dude never shut the fuck up about his ex-girlfriend! She broke up with him because she decided that raising children with a known terrorist may not be the healthiest environment for kids. He just kept on and on about it. Finally, one of our guys just shot him. We’ve been much happier since.”

July 5, 2006 — North Korea test fires at least seven missiles including a long-range Taepodong2. Kim Jong-Il reportedly takes a Polaroid of his own penis and has it shipped to the White House via Dodge Caravan with this note: “Check it, dude. Mine curves to the left too!”

August 31, 2006 — Edvard Munch paintings The Scream and Madonna are recovered in a police raid in Oslo, Norway. The thieves, a group of “lesbian Neo-nazi hookers abducted by UFOs and forced into weight-loss programs,” tell the press that they only took the paintings because they looked “real special in our living room.”

September 15, 2006 — Spinach contaminated with E. coli kills one person and poisons over 100 others in 20 states of the United States. Fox News reports that anyone known to have spinach in their home garden will be arrested and tried in accordance with the USA Patriot Act, as counter-terrorism efforts are stepped up prior to the upcoming mid-term elections. Spinach farmers go broke across the nation.

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October 10, 2006 — Google buys YouTube for USD $1.65 billion from former U of I students Steve Chen and Jawed Karim. Almost instantaneously, former professors Lynn Richmands and George Calvidious call them on the phone asking for $5 million in unmarked $100 bills or else they will make sure that the whole world knows about their Pez and dildo collections. Calls are never returned.

November 8, 2006 — Republican Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld lies for the last time publicly as he resigns his post to President George Bush. After the press conference, both Bush and Rumsfeld take Polaroids of their own penises, cross swords in the bathroom and have them shipped to the Hillary Clinton’s office via the Secret Service with this note: “Check it, lil’ lady.

I bet Bill’s don’t curve to the left!”

December 3rd, 2006 — Downtown Champaign Association produces their annual Lighting of the Tree ceremony. Traffic is blocked for three hours and shops close in order to accommodate the parade. Attendance is reportedly under 75 people, with one member of the DCA screaming, “You told me she was a Mudder, you stupid son of a bitch!”

FINAL WHIFF Have a great holiday. Have a great New Year. There are a couple great shows happening on New Year’s Eve, but it should be noted that December 30 and December 31 are the last times that you will be able to see Lorenzo Goetz perform. A big thanks and more thanks to LG for carrying the scene on their shoulders for a while there. You will be missed.

Seth Fein is from Urbana. He keeps his Christmas lights on all day, every day. He can be reached at sethfein1@gmail.com.

Dallas has all your

X-mas needs! and New Year’s

Santa Hats & Beards, Stockings, Santa Costumes, and more!

Corner of 1st & University 351-5974

sounds from the scene

7

listen, hear

ONE LAST PARTY:

Lorenzo Goetz ready to rock one last time at a farewell New Year’s Eve show

STAN MCCONNELL • STAFF WRITER

Lorenzo Goetz performs. sounds from the scene

innovation in marketing and net work ing helped them to gig all over the Midwest and beyond. T he ba nd ’s g roup son g w r it i n g evolved f rom fi l l i ng i n pa r t s over Gates’ acoustic skeletons into a holistic creative process, in which every member was able to provide unique contributions as songs were being written.

Thus began Lorenzo Goetz’s eclectic amalgamation.

G r e e n l e e’s b o u n c y a n d magnetic rhythms and Fisher’s salty bass lines are the shaky and alluring compliments to the Goetz guitar duo of Miethe and Gates. Miethe’s lead guitar effects span from sa x to mar i mba, wh i le Gates opt s for vintage twang. Over the often Latin-tinged and concise composit ion s, G ate s d rops creative and busy wordplay. Members of the band Lorenzo Goetz (from left) Josh Miethe, Jesse Greenlee, Larry Gates and Eric He has learned to be lyrically Fisher will perform their farewell show at Cowboy Monkey on December 31. candid and introspective, while also remaining accessible to listeners. The Lorenzo Goetz show and are beginning to tour the Midwest.

Gates classifies the time spent with Lorenzo Goetz as blend is incredibly fresh, and with their rocking shows and great attitudes, they have earned a huge amount of respect “extremely worthwhile.” True to the lyrics of “Need Words Now,” the band has proven to be catalytic for the careers and credibility in the music world.

Lorenzo Goetz’s musical balance was first called “party music of each member, evident by their exciting future plans. for people who think too much,” in a review of their latest Larr y Gates and Brad Miethe plan on composing with release, The Heavy EP, but Gates has marketed the band with a rhythmic emphasis for licensing purposes. Jesse Greenlee has the curious slogan ever since. According to Gates, the quote already moved to New York as the new drummer for American applies to the band in that “groovy instrumentation accompa- Minor, who will be hitting the road with Lynyrd Skynyrd shortly. nies lyrical depth.” The party has shared the stage with such As for bassist Eric Fisher, he looks to continue his creative pursuits acts as G-Love and Special Sauce and Chuck Berry, musi- locally. Has Headlights heard of the joys of adoption?

Lorenzo Goetz’s last stand in Champaign, a New Year’s Eve cal moments that are among Gates’ proudest, along with taking home the CU Local Music Award for Best Rock Band in blowout, is not something to be missed. Expect a comprehensive 2005 and 2006, Best Overall Band in 2005 and Best Male Per- representation of the Lorenzo Goetz canon, guests on stage, free-flowing merriment for all, and plenty of surprises. Supporting former in 2006.

Intangible, however, are Lorenzo Goetz’s most important Goetz on the 30th will be Brandon T. Washington and Andy Lund effects on the community. Gates takes great pride in having pro- performing acoustically, and neo-psych poppers Santa. Folk rock vided an example for other local acts regarding the resilience and favorites elsinore will join Lorenzo Goetz for both shows. integrity it takes to play 300 shows. He has supported many local acts such as Ryan Groff of elsinore, who will support Lorenzo Say farewell to Lorenzo Goetz on Dec. 30 and 31 at Cowboy Monkey. The Dec. 30 show starts at 9 p.m. and features elsinore, Goetz for both New Year’s Eve shows.

According to Groff, he is “greatly indebted to Larry” and Santa, Brandon T. Washington and Andy Lund. Tickets are $7. said, “Larry was a big reason I moved to Champaign.” Groff Ring in the New Year with Lorenzo Goetz’s final show on Dec. and elsinore have since found great success with their live 31, starting at 9:30 p.m. and featuring elsinore. Tickets are $20.

PHOTO COURTESY OF LORENZOGOETZ.COM

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n early 2003, Lorenzo Goetz frontman Larr y Gates w rote ly r ics for “Need Word s Now,” a velvet y sitar groove on the band’s Allure EP. The ambient bass-laced loop unfolds before the song’s opening ly r ics: “I have to make the most of th is/Treat it l i ke a cat a lyst a nd hope for ba la nce.” With the recent announcement of Lorenzo Goetz’s last shows ever, Dec. 30 and 31 at Cowboy Monkey, these poetic and prophetic lines have gained special relevance.

Bandmates Larry Gates, Jesse Greenlee, Josh Miethe and Eric Fisher have indeed made the most of Lorenzo Goetz’s six-year existence, touring nationally (75,000 miles in 18 states), winning four CU Local Music Awards, and producing two EPs and one LP. Their songs have drawn frequent comparison to those of the Beatles and of Sublime, presumably because of their juxtaposition of unique instrumentation and infectious melody — a typical Goetz song will simultaneously shuffle feet and sway heads in a sing-along splendor. However, Lorenzo Goetz’s greatest achievement, and arguably their most noteworthy contribution to the Champaign-Urbana music scene, has been their consistent presentation of tight, high-energy concerts, the perfect environments in which to taste their tunes. The band twists, turns, ducks and most of all, jumps all over the stage. They are captivating to watch and hear and their music hits you like a peppery fried beet hits the tongue: it’s a spicy attack on the sensoria.

Lorenzo Goetz’s renowned live show has taken six years of cultivation, beginning in 2000, when former Goody Patch guitarist Larry Gates moved to the Champaign-Urbana area with a three-song acoustic demo in his hands. He soon assembled a cast of musicians to help him perform his songs in a group setting, and by January of 2001, the first incarnation of Lorenzo Goetz had taken the stage. By the spring of 2004, the line-up of Lorenzo Goetz was finalized. Coupled with their discipline and ceaseless energy on stage, the band’s relentless

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I’M NOT AS THINK AS YOU DRUNK I AM.

D e c e m b e r 21, 2 0 0 6

•

J a n ua r y 3 , 2 oo7

A NICODEMUS NEW Lorenzo Goetz goes out with a double bang (and other assorted YEAR’S PARTY 2K6 Christmas stories to warm the heart) mike ingram CU SOUND REVUE

JARON BIRKAN • STAFF WRITER

COURTESY OF WWW.THEHEADLIGHTS.COM

T

No plans for New Year’s Eve? Check out the Nicodemus 2K6 New Year’s Party, featuring a six-band bill, including local greats The Headlights, shown above.

W

ith six bands playing all night, it wouldn’t be fair to call the Nicodemus’ New Years Par t y just a “par t y.”

“Festival” would be a better word choice. Still, the Iron Post on Dec. 31 should provide ample time for the drinking and fun that good patrons need on that night before their resolutions come into effect.

Traditionally, New Years Eve shows have remained underrated on the musical calendar.

It’s too cold to hang outside at festivals or an amphitheatre, and good music usually isn’t on anyone’s mind when they’re that drunk.

Staying sober, however, affords a concert-goer some interesting experiences. Phish played a memorable show for the millennium (the highest attended concert that night) and Guided

by Voices ended their long and twisted trip in Chicago a few years ago. Bands, freed from the corporate go-around of a tour, like to experiment, often playing some interesting covers.

This show should be no different. Some of Champaign-Urbana’s best will be there, including Headlights, The Beauty Shop and Shipwreck.

Headlights’ indie-pop will light up the night.

Their dynamic is always interesting, straddling the line between precious and grungy. Singer Erin

Fein’s voice can be harsh and shrill, but that’s part of the appeal. Their music is rough around the edges, but it has a shiny, ’80s pop pedigree beneath it.

Second on the bill for the evening is The Beauty Shop, a band that seems at times to be an exercise in irony. John Hoeffleur sings with an overly expressive baritone that often overwhelms the simple acoustic melodies. Flailing around isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it’s very distinctive, absolutely sure of its place.

Shipwreck is the prototypical college-rock band: slightly tuneless, feedback-driven, but very spare. Most of their songs sound like the bastard-children of the 1980s, R.E.M., with a little less lyrical dexterity and more rock and roll crunch.

Rounding out the bill are Fireflies, Coco Coca and Watery Domestic, whose praises from the indie-rock community are still forthcoming.

All promise an interesting night, especially with the obligatory New Year’s alcohol.

Ring in 2007 at the Iron Post with Headlights, The Beauty Shop, Shipwreck, fireflies, Watery Domestic and Coco Coca. The night begins at 8 p.m. and tickets are $15 in advance, sold at the Iron Post and Exile on Main St.

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his will be the last issue before the new year, so I have a lot of ground to cover. It’s been a pretty great year for the local scene.

Several bands have traveled around the country playing shows, with some even heading over to Europe. We’ve had several local CDs released, and had several great shows and even a music festival right in our backyard. Hopefully 2007 will be even more fruitful for the scene.

Anyone who used to hit up the open mic night at Canopy Club during its heyday four or five years ago will certainly remember that two stages were run. In the small room (then “the roost” and now “the void”), there would be acoustic performers, and in the big room, the full bands would rock.

Sure, this was a nightmare when anyone opened one of the doors that separated the rooms (okay, even with the doors closed it sucked), but it was an awesome environment that used to pack in 500 to 600 people a week. During this time, the host of the mainstage was Mike Armintrout. You’d hear him performing some excellent original songs like “Corsegedi” and “Band of Make Believe,” along with a shitload of Radiohead covers. He even made a CD of soundboard recordings, titled $2 Teas and A Can of Pee. It seemed he was destined for stardom.

But then the Canopy’s open mic slowed. The big room stopped hosting bands. Mike took on more responsibility at the club, becoming a full-on promoter, bringing in bands like Diamond Rio and Passenger. He cut the Carrot Top hair and got married to an amazing woman and forgot all about playing music, except for one day a year. That day is the day of Mike Armintrout’s Annual Holiday Spectacular. This year is the sixth occasion of this milestone, and it falls on Friday, Dec. 22. There is no cover, and drinks will be cheap. Mike’s longtime band, Tater Tot, will be rocking hard, and there should be many special guest appearances. Mike and his wife Heather are two of the nicest people you could ever know, so I’m sure the Canopy will be full of a lot of familiar faces on Friday. Oh wait, as I was going to press, I was informed that this show has been cancelled due to holiday construction at the Canopy. That doesn’t seem very holiday-ee to me, canceling a Christmas show (it’s a tradition!). To hell with it — I’m leaving the paragraph as it is. You can contact Mike Armintrout at mikea@jaytv.com to relay your sad feelings about the cancellation, and find out about a possible makeup date.

The Iron Post will hold two shows on Friday.

A 5 p.m. happy hour show with the Jeff Helgesen Quintet will have no cover charge, and will be followed by the Leigh Meador Christmas Show featuring the Leigh Meador Trio. The late show will start at 9 p.m. with a $4 cover.

Those of you in (or heading to) Chicago for the weekend can catch an excellent show with an excellent cause on Friday. At the Empty Bottle there will be a benefit concert to raise money for Pat

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Spurgeon, the drummer for the band Rogue Wave.

He is in need of a kidney transplant, and musicians all around the country are trying to help. This show will feature Cameron McGill, Noah Harris (of the Elanors), The Demilos and The Shifties.

It will be a night full of great performances, and you’ll be doing something good with your money.

Tickets are $8 in advance, $10 at the door, and the start time is 10 p.m. So, when you’re bored back at Mom and Dad’s house, you have a good excuse to get out of there. You can find more info about Pat at roguewavemusic.com.

Longtime CU mainstay Keith Harden, who moved away to New York state a few years ago, will make a holiday pilgrimage back to the Midwest, playing shows at Huber’s on Friday (8 p.m. with no cover) and at the Iron Post on Saturday for his annual “Keithmas” bash (9 p.m. with a $4 cover).

On Wednesday, Dec. 27, the cure for being sick of holiday cheer and weird cousins that you only see at Christmas will be at Cowboy Monkey. The show will feature the Tractor Kings, Satan’s Beer Vomit (in, apparently, their final show), Triple Whip and Monster Honkey. The show starts at 10 p.m. and there is a $5 cover.

On Thursday, Dec. 28, Live Karaoke Band will once again provide the best karaoke in the area. You get up and sing with a real band, made up of members of The Brat Pack and X-Krush! Five dollars at the door and a trip to the sign-up sheet gets you onstage to show off your rock star skills. Check out livekaraokeband.com for more info and a song list.

Next weekend offers a pair of final shows from local band Lorenzo Goetz. A newly announced show on Saturday, Dec. 30 will help to offset the number of people that won’t be able to make it in to the New Year’s Eve show with elsinore the night after. Saturday night will also feature elsinore, but will add new locals Santa, as well as Brandon T. Washington and Andy Lund in a rare appearance. Andy left last year for sunnier weather in San Diego, working as a rep for Taylor Guitars. Before that, he and Brandon were 2/5 of one of my favorite bands, Temple of Low Men. With Andy back in town, the duo will perform a set on Saturday night.

The Saturday show will carry a $7 cover, and will start at 9 p.m. The New Year’s Eve show, which is almost entirely sold out, will start at 9:30 p.m., with elsinore hitting the stage early.

The other big New Year’s Eve party is Seth Fein’s Nicodemus Agency party at the Iron Post.

This year the show will feature Headlights, the Beauty Shop, Shipwreck, fireflies, Watery Domestic and Coco Coca. You can get tickets in advance for $15 at the Iron Post and at Exile on Main St. Last year’s show was packed, and featured a drunk Seth Fein kissing anything that moved. Don’t worry, he’s gentle.

And speaking of Exile on Main St., if you’re looking for last-minute gift ideas, a gift certificate from CU’s best record store is never a bad idea.

SEE SOUND REVUE PG. 9 sounds from the scene

D e c e m b e r 21, 2 0 0 6

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J a n ua r y 3 , 2 oo7

album REVIEW SCISSOR SISTERS ta-dah [universal]

SPIN IT ROUND FLIP IT AND REVERSE IT CARLYE WISEL AND BRIAN MCGOVERN

JARON BIRKAN • STAFF WRITER

On their last album, Scissor Sisters were the little band that could. Campy anthems like “Take Your Mama,â€? and the Pink Floyd cover “Comfortably Numbâ€? (perhaps the best piece of deconstruction this decade), resurrected the more dubious parts of the 70s, but their outrĂŠ charm and jingly melodies were irresistible nonetheless.

At least now, it seems the party’s over. Ta-Dah (conspicuously missing the exclamation point) is buoyant and insouciant. However, it is surprisingly visceral. Sex is all over it, and like a good disco, it hides in the crevices beneath the shining lights and horrible music.

Even the best song is a paradox. “I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’,� co-written by Sir Elton John, tries to advocate just what it can’t: there’s no way something this bouncy, with a rollicking barroom piano, could ever tell us, “Why’d you pick a tune when I’m not in the mood?� Even when singer Jake Shears becomes a killer on “I Can’t Decide,� his hummable chorus belies his deep, dark pain.

Scissor Sisters isn’t the first band to try sinister, and they won’t be the last. Subtlety is not a strong point in a band that prefers leather jumpsuits, so why try it? Philosophizing in disco music will never work: lyrics are too superfluous. That was the genius of their first album. Being funny and tongue-in-cheek compensated for most of the songs (save for the chorus) being pointless. On Ta-Dah there is no “Tits on the Radio,� sounding just like it reads, instead there are songs that are interesting despite themselves.

For a band that has made a career loving their influences, they try too hard to tone them down.

Sir Elton clearly took notice of their love of his piano-pop, and helped them write their best song, but too often they’re just smug. Elton’s piano dominates the song, but on the other tracks, it’s relegated to the rhythm section, and without its over-the-top femininity, nothing sounds useful.

They’ve chosen genres like Broadway ditties and even ragtime, and while their refreshed new-wave is entertaining, the rest is unoriginal, it’s boring.

To most it won’t even matter. The material is so danceable and catchy its flaws are invisible.

Jake Shears’ falsetto surprisingly never grates, and “Babydaddy� knows how to bend the acoustic guitar to his whims.

Two-thirds of the way through, during “Paul McCartney,� Shears self-diagnoses his problem, singing, “Is it the music that connects me to you?� For a band trying to become serious, it hasn’t just yet. sounds from the scene

buzz weekly •

THE BEST BEER IN THE WORLD, IS THE OPEN BOTTLE IN YOUR HAND!

:

Food-sicians

• STAFF WRITERS

Mark Twain once said that when you’ve tasted watermelon, you know what the angels eat. Many have said that an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

A select few people state proudly that nothing is more phallic than a banana.Yes, fruit has always held our imaginations and our mouths captive. Most recently, they have also captured our ears. That Fruit of the Loom music video commercial not only shows us the comfort of briefs, but also the musical talent of food. At Spin It, we have taken this to the next level — what food would make the best musician? What could rock the mic or nail a solo better than any mere human?

Carlye and Brian discuss their ideal food-sician.

Brian: Cucumber on bass Yes, in a mystery more gripping and difficult to understand than that of Jesus’ dual spiritual nature, a food-sician is both a totally eatable food item and a brilliant musician. But, which food would be the best? Well, let’s just say that picking one has put me in quite a pickle ... or cucumber, that is.

We all know cucumbers are as cool as themselves, and it is this calm collectedness and cutting edge attitude that earns this vegetable its top spot. And what better instrument for this rocking veggie to rock onstage than the coolest thing to sling round your shoulders — the bass guitar?

When cucumber rocks the bass, cucumber wears his strap really low. I mean we’ve all seen the cucumbers painted on the Pita Pit wall; sure they’re Veggie Tale-like, but those googly eyes shout not only danger, but also, “do me.� Well, maybe not to everyone, but that attitude is exactly what I think makes a great bass player. If Carlos D. of Interpol transfigured into a tasty green, would it not be a cucumber? When you got seeds, you got soul.

C a r l ye: Introducing, Francheezie, the lead singer Deep fried Twinkies. Super Gulps. Turducken. The fatties of America are pretty good at inventing some tasty, arteryclogging snacks, which is exactly why everyone in this wonderfully obese country would appreciate a sort-of-cheese-dog fronting their favorite band.

Before I explode from excitement by mentally picturing a cute tiny francheezie with cute tiny legs and cute tiny hands and a cute little tiny face, I think it’s best if I start off by explaining what this delectable treat truly is. You take a hot dog, cut it down the middle, fill it with cheddar cheese, wrap bacon around it, and in most cases, deep fry it. I used to eat these all the time at Barnum and Bagel restaurant with my Grandpa, and ... you know, after thinking through that memory, I’m at a loss

for why I can never answer the, “Wait, why were you so fat when you were younger?� question.

Anywho, this highly caloric and exciting twist on hot dogs would make for the best lead singer of a band. All lead singers need to be physically attractive — it wouldn’t be right if the looker of the group was a lowly bassist or plebian keyboardist. (They’re supposed to be the ones that get the lead singer’s ugly, leftover groupies.) Francheezie would be so physically interesting with his multi-animal, dairy-filled look that our tummies would rumble just from thinking about him.

Lead singers also need to have charisma. But, what isn’t charismatic about a Francheezie? He’s transgressed all typical aspects of cuisine and Kosher rulings to dance his way into the still-healthy hearts of America’s youth. He should capitalize on the music business, and make his mark alongside the Bonos, Jaggers and Cobains of rock history.

Francheezie would also make a great, patriotic role model. He represents all that America is — a melting pot with different bits and pieces from various places, horribly unhealthy, crazy and weird, but deep down, wonderful. He’s practically Uncle Sam, except he doesn’t convince you to try your hand at killing foreigners. All Francheezie wants is to feed you ... feed you some rock and roll!

Irritated yet? We hope not. Let us know your ideas, and what you want us to pretend to fight about at SpinItFlipIt@gmail.com.

SOUND REVUE CONTINUED FROM PG. 8 If you’ve never been there, now’s the time. It’s located in the One Main building in downtown Champaign, right next to Merry Ann’s. Head honcho Jeff Brandt offers new CDs, DVDs, vinyl and games, as well as used items in the same categories.

There is also a rental service with a great selection.

The local music section is also fantastic. There’s something for pretty much everyone, which is why I like to give gift certificates from there. That and I’m a terrible gift shopper, so saying, “I love you this much money’s worth,� is pretty much my only option. So, check out Exile if you haven’t yet, even if it’s only to throw down on a vintage arcade game (for free!). It’s tough to get a locally owned kind of record store experience in CU anymore. Parasol is great, but the layout isn’t made for in-store shoppers (they do mail order), though they don’t mind you coming in at all. Record Swap is great for vinyl and some CDs, but new stuff isn’t a focus there (but man, I’ve been finding a ton of great deals on dollar vinyl there lately). So Exile stands alone in its variety and ease of shopping. Stop in and check it out.

That’s it for me this year. Thanks for reading and thanks for all of the great emails. See you in 2007.

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Mike Ingram can be reached at forgottenwords@ gmail.com.

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CELEBRATE THE HOLIDAYS BY GOING TO EVENTS WE TAGGED WITH OUR LOGO

Bang Quad Remedy User Friendly

THU. DEC 21 DJ

Dec. 22, 10 p.m.

Cowboy Monkey, cover

Atomic Age Cocktail Party: DJ Jason Croft Cowboy Monkey 9pm, free Limbs [Hip-hop, breaks and party music.] Boltini Lounge, 10:30pm, free DJ Wesjile Boltini Lounge 10:30pm, free

art & theater

Karaoke Eric Boley’s Boneyard Karaoke Memphis on Main, 7:30pm cover

When We Were Young: New Perspectives on the Art of the Child [“When We Were Young” juxtaposes selected childhood works of preeminent historical artists with modern and contemporary children’s drawings to explore the criteria used for assessing prodigious artistic talent in the very young.] Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 31

New Tricks by the Old Dogs [A show of new artwork by 12 retired faculty artists from the University of Illinois.] Cinema Gallery through Dec. 23 A Saint in the City: Sufi Arts of Urban Senegal [This exhibition explores the arts and expressive culture of Islamic West Africa through a dynamic and influential movement in Senegal known as the Mouride Way.] Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 31

Study of Pitaya (Dragon Fruit) [Techline is proud to present oil paintings by Hyon Joo Kim.] Techline through Jan. 15 Small Work Plus: A Display of Quilt Art by Mary McDonald [McDonald’s quilts and fiber art are inspired by life events: a meaningful book or piece of art, the natural world, the transition to a new life stage or the gift of friendship.] Pages for All Ages through Feb. 14

IMAGE COURTESY OF WWW.SOLTEC.COM/GLASSLAKESTUDIO/GALLERY

Surrealist Interventions: Selections from Krannert Art Museum and the University of Illinois Library [This exhibition pairs Surrealist paintings, photographs, prints and drawings from the Krannert Art Museum collection with the movement’s experiments in print culture.]

Krannert Art Museum through Dec. 31

Lectures/Discussions “Mummy Dearest: Studying the U. of I. Mummy” [Dr. Sarah Wisseman, Director, UIUC Program on Ancient Technologies and Archaeological Materials, will present at the meeting of the East Central Illinois Archaeological Society] Urbana Free Library, 7pm PHOTO COURTESY OF WWW.MYSPACE.COM/QUADREMEDY

Miracle on 34th Street [Performance by Bright Lights Theater Company.] Grace Community Church through Dec. 23

Rock is a part of the holiday spirit as much as holly sprigs and eggnog swigs. Goodwill toward all men is exemplified by the free-spirited genre. So this week before Christmas, go to Cowboy Monkey and see some of the best rock songs of our time performed by Quad Remedy. Oodles of classic covers executed as miraculously as a virgin birth, the Remedy’s musicianship is their gift to us all. Sing along and it’ll be like edgy caroling.

120 N. NEIL STREET

217.352.9756

2006

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2007

BAR FLY

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CHRISTMAS WEEKEND IS...

CHECK OUT OUR EXCITING NEW LIST OF SPECIALTY MARTINIS AND COCKTAILS! CRISP, CLEAN AND DELICIOUS.

FRI. DEC 22

One thing that often gets pushed to the side in these times is something close to my heart. It is something that gets overshadowed by Elmo dolls and those paperclip-sized iPods. This thing is something wonderful and needs to be reconnected to the holiday season: rock and roll.

—Brian McGovern

SPECIALTY MARTINIS

Family Fun Funfare [Funfare invites preschool groups for stories, songs, puppets, films and fun.] Urbana Free Library 9:45am

Christmas is so close. I can feel the spirit tingling all over my body. Though it may be a circulatory system disorder, I really think it’s because of the wonderful wintry spirit that falls upon us this time of year. The holidays are a magical time, when all in the world is not as horrible as it seems. We watch horrible movies and some decent movies and plenty of Christmas television specials; we wait in line at crowded stores wearing heavy coats hoping that our gifts are worth the time and the effort.

Untitled by Hyon Joo Kim

MARTINI TIME!

Sporting events Illinois Men’s Basketball vs. Idaho State Assembly Hall, 7pm

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STRAWBERRY CHAMPAGNE MARTINIS

ALL NIGHT LONG CHERRY CHEESECAKE SHOTS

ALL NIGHT LONG

$

4

VODKA RED BULL (FREE RED BULL)

8 - 10PM

Y27 NO COVER

BEFORE 9PM

WITH DJ CHIME

Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am Real Deal Jazz Band Cowboy Monkey, 5:20pm, $2 Cara Mia Maurizi [Live Lounge Singer.] Boltini Lounge, 6pm Keith Harden Hubers 8pm, cover Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Christmas Show [Leigh Meador, Trio with Dave Dryer, Joannie Dryer and Elena Bastiani/Casper Christmas Caroling.] The Iron Post, 9pm, $4 Bang, Quad Remedy, User Friendly Cowboy Monkey 10pm, $5 DJ DJ Bozak (Red Bull Music Academy) Soma Ultralounge 9pm, $5 Hip-Hop and R&B DJ Nargile 9pm, free until 10pm/$5 Chris O Boltini Lounge 10pm, free DJ Mambo Italiano [House music.] Ko.Fusion, 11pm no cover Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke American Legion Post 71 8pm, free Volunteer Giving Trees [The Giving Trees offer free handmade ornaments and are located at the south entry near Art Mart and at the east entry

sounds from the scene

near Cardinal Fitness. Each ornament has a label on the back with a requested donation for the organization. Donations like new women’s and children’s underwear, socks, clothes, diapers and toys should be delivered to 1304 E. Main St, Urbana between 9am and 4pm, Monday through Friday.] Lincoln Square Mall 9am

SAT. DEC 23 Live Bands Bob, Dan & Joni Hubers 8pm, cover Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 Keith Harden [Annual KEITHMAS celebration.]

Iron Post, 9pm, cover DJ DJ Bozak (Red Bull Music Academy) Soma Ultralounge 9pm, $5 Hip-Hop and R&B DJ Nargile 9pm, free until 10pm/$5 Chris O Boltini Lounge 10pm, free DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm Volunteer Giving Trees Lincoln Square Mall, 9am

SUN. DEC 24 Live Bands Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover Concerts Community/Campus Women’s Music Series, Concert I [Concert series to promote local women in the arts. Also a fundraiser for the Center for Women in Transition.]

Independent Media Center 8pm Volunteer Giving Trees Lincoln Square Mall, 9am

MON. DEC 25 Live Bands Jazz Jam with MRS Trio Iron Post, 6pm, cover Open Mic Night Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, free Volunteer Giving Trees Lincoln Square Mall, 9am

TUE. DEC 26 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am George Faber, Jim Cole Cowboy Monkey, 8:30pm, $5 Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover

DJ DJs Hoff and Bambino [Hard Rock/Punk.] Mike ‘n Molly’s, 10pm DJ Tremblin BG Barfly, 10pm Subversion: DJ TwinScin and DJ Evily Highdive, 10pm, $2 Chris O Boltini Lounge 10:30pm, free Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm Karaoke with Randy Miller Bentley’s Pub, 9:30pm, free Volunteer Giving Trees Lincoln Square Mall, 9am

WED. DEC 27 Live Bands MRS Trio The Iron Post, 7pm Fuedin’ Hillbilly’s Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, free The Anti-Social End, Frank Must Go, Midfull Explosion, FDR The Iron Post, 9pm, $5 Satan’s Beer Vomit’s Last Show [Satan’s Beer Vomit, Monster Honkey, Tractor Kings, Triple Whip] Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 DJ DJ Stifler Highdive, 8pm free until 10pm/$5 Ladies Night with DJ Supa Nargile, 9pm, ladies free before 11pm Tropicale Wednesdays: DJ Bris, DJ Delayney Soma Ultralounge, 9pm, $5 DJ Bozak Bolini Lounge 10:30pm, free Dancing Tango Dancing [Lesson at 7:30pm, followed by tango dancing from 8-10:30pm.

End the night with salsa dancing until 2am.] Cowboy Monkey, 7:30pm, free Volunteer Giving Trees Lincoln Square Mall, 9am

THU. DEC 28 Live Bands Live Karaoke Band Cowboy Monkey, 10pm, $5 DJ Limbs Boltini Lounge 10:30pm, free Karaoke Eric Boley’s Boneyard Karaoke Memphis on Main, 7:30pm cover Sporting events Illinois Women’s Basketball vs.

Penn State Assembly Hall 7pm Family Fun Funfare Urbana Free Library 9:45am Poetry/Readings Adelente! Diversity reading group [“The Kite Runner” by Khaled Hosseini will be led

by Nancy Dietrich-Ribicki.]

Pages for All Ages, 7pm

Volunteer Giving Trees Lincoln Square Mall, 9am

FRI. DEC 29 Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am Jazz Sandwich Cowboy Monkey, 5:30pm, $2 Bruiser & The Virtues Hubers 8pm, cover The Brat Pack Chief’s Bar and Grill, 8pm, cover Staci Anderson, Dan Lacey, Knox Ewing The Iron Post 9pm $5/$7 Country Connection Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, $1 The Delta Kings Cowboy Monkey, 9:30pm, $5 DJ DJ Bozak (Red Bull Music Academy) Soma Ultralounge 9pm, $5 Hip-Hop and R&B DJ Nargile 9pm, free until 10pm/$5 DJ Mertz Boltini Lounge 10pm, free DJ Mambo Italiano Ko.Fusion 11pm, free

and party favors.] Cowboy Monkey 9:30pm, $20 Concerts C-U at the Virginia Theater New Years Eve Presented by The Chorale [The evening features The Chorale singing songs inspired by famous women, including “Goodnight Irene,” “Hello Dolly,” “Maria” and many others. Julie McClarey, award-winning ragtime piano player, is the featured guest

to the music of Candy Foster and Shades of Blue.] Historic Lincoln Hotel, 9pm

artist. Proceeds from the concert are used to support The Chorale’s Young Artist Scholarship program for young musicians who plan to continue their music studies at the university level.] Virginia Theatre, 7pm, $18 adults/seniors and children $16

TUE. JAN 2

Miscellaneous New Year’s Eve Party [Champagne toast at midnight, party favors and hors d’oeuvres. Dance

Live Bands Billy Galt Sings the Blues Blues restaurant, 11:30am

DJ Chris O Boltini Lounge 10:30pm, free Karaoke Karaoke with Randy Miller Bentley’s Pub, 9:30pm

WED. JAN 3 DJ DJ Bozak Boltini Lounge 10:30pm, free

Crisis Nursery – Child Care Providers Volunteers are needed to assist staff in providing a safe, loving and nurturing environment for children whose parents are enduring a crisis. Volunteers are asked to commit to two hours of work at the nursery per week. The nursery is open seven days a week. A one-hour orientation is required before starting. If you would like to help out at Crisis Nursery, call Kim Gollings for a phone interview at 337-2731 or e-mail volunteer@crisisnursery.net.

Karaoke Creative Karaoke American Legion Post 71, 8pm, free

SAT. DEC 30 Live Bands Lorenzo Goetz, Elsinore, Santa, Andy Lund & Brandon T. Washington Cowboy Monkey 9pm, $7 New Twang City Hubers, 8pm cover

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DJ DJ Bozak (Red Bull Music Academy) Soma Ultralounge 9pm, $5 DJ Tim Williams Highdive 10pm Hip-Hop and R&B DJ Nargile 9pm, free until 10pm/$5 Karaoke Liquid Courage Karaoke Geo’s, 9pm

SUN. DEC 31 Live Bands A Nicodemus New Years Party 2K6 [Featuring Headlights, The Beauty Shop, Shipwreck, fireflies, Watery Domestic and Coco Coca.]

The Iron Post, 8pm, $15 in advance Barb Hamilton Trio on New Year’s Eve Hubers, 8pm, free New Year’s Eve Bash with Full Throttle [Full Throttle plays classic rock, blues, R&B and originals. Enjoy food and party favors.] T&T Tavern, 8:30pm, free Crystal River Band Rose Bowl Tavern, 9pm, no cover Lorenzo Goetz Farewell Show [Elsinore will also perform. Cover includes coat check, champagne toast

VISIT WWW.CUCALENDAR.COM FOR THE MOST CURRENT EVENTS AND TO ADD YOUR OWN.

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stage, screen & i n b e t w e e n

AMELIA MOORE • PHOTOS

WHAT BETTER WAY TO SPEND A SNOWY DAY THAN TAKING A TRIP TO THE KRANNERT ART MUSEUM

“A Saint in the City: Sufi Arts of Urban Senegal” is an exhibit on display at the Krannert Art Museum in Champaign which explores the arts and expressive culture of Islamic West Africa through a dynamic and influential movement in Senegal known as the Mouride Way, based on the teachings of the Muslim Saint Sheikh Amadou Bamba. The exhibit will be up until December 31.

“Diverse Images of Shiekh Amadou Bamba, mid-late 20th Century’” is part of ‘“ Saint in the City: Sufi Arts of Urban Senegal” is an exhibit on display at the Krannert Art Museum in Champaign.

A Saint in the City: Sufi Arts of Urban Sengal

When We Were Young: New Perspectives on the Art of the Child

EMILY COTTERMAN • STAFF WRITER

W

alking into the Krannert Art Museum’s new exhibit visitors are greeted by large murals of iconic figures — from Martin Luther King, Jr. and Nelson Mandela to Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix. These men are a part of a mural that was painted in an urban region of Senegal by Pape Samb and are the first things featured in Krannert Art Museum’s temporary exhibit A Saint in the City: Sufi Arts of Urban Sengal.

The exhibit begins with the mural and continues with Islamic art and artifacts — a Quran from the early 19th century and glass paintings depicting major religious events, along with panels that describe Islam in Africa. But the main focus is on Muslim Saint Sheikh Amadou Bamba, who lived from 1853 to 1927, and whose teachings founded the Mouride Way. Depictions of Bamba are everywhere in the exhibit; most of them based on the only known photograph of him from 1913. He is draped in white cloth, only his eyes showing, and that image is shown in paintings, drawings, magnets, necklaces and even clocks. He is the focus of the Samb mural as the Krannert panel explains, “For Mourides see links between these inspirational heroes and the exemplary life of the Saint.” It continues through contemporary times, giving glimpses of what urban life is like within this part of Africa.

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The exhibit gives an interesting portrayal of Islam in Senegal, especially the Mouride way. It also shows how prevalent the depictions of Bamba are, even in the city of Dakar, as he is supposed to bless homes and businesses. “A Saint in the City” tries to bring knowledge not only about Islam, but also about African and Islamic culture.

Samb’s mural is especially important. By including heroes from across all different places, he is shrinking the world and promoting a message of acceptance. In an artist’s statement, he says, “My art does not discriminate because I do not like discrimination.

Art has no nationality. Art had no boundaries, either.”

Students who visit the exhibit get a good idea of who Samb was. A.J. Saloga, a junior at Parkland College, said, “I’d never heard of [Samb], but now I already know the brief history of him.” He and his friend, sophomore Raheem Khan, came for an extra credit assignment for their Islamic culture and civilization class. Khan noticed the symbols and geographic shapes in the artwork of the exhibit, which he had learned about in class.

“They had a lot of really cool designs,” he said. He also enjoyed how colorful the artwork is.

“A Saint in the City: Sufi Arts of Urban Sengal” will be on display at Krannert Art Museum until December 31.

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MEGHAN WHALEN • STAFF WRITER “

Z

eus, his Wife, and a Guy Who Got Struck by Lightning.” “Ninja Turtle.” “Duck with Falling Blueberries.”

These are among the drawings featured at a special exhibit at the Krannert Art Museum — “When We Were Young: New Perspectives on the Art of the Child.” The exhibit combines the childhood drawings of Paul Klee, Pablo Picasso and Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec with those of children from around the U.S. and Japan, and also features artwork by children from the Champaign-Urbana area.

Jonathan Fineberg, a University of Illinois professor of art history serves as curator of the exhibit, with the intention of investigating “giftedness in children and adults,” says KAM director Kathleen Harleman. “When We Were Young” also celebrates the University’s partnership with The Phillips Collection in Washington, D.C. The two are working together to create a modern art history program at the University. sounds from the scene

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TOP 10 HOLIDAY MOVIES ERIC NYBERG â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

KERI CARPENTER â&#x20AC;˘ STAFF WRITER

The First Show Time For Each Movie Is A Super Bargain Matineee

NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM (PG) (DLP) Fri. - Thu. 12:00 12:30 2:30 3:00

10. The Nativity Story (2006) A new hol id ay fl ick celebrating the tr ue reason for Christmas â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the birth of Jesus Christ in Bethlehem, and the events leadi ng up to it for h i s parents, Mar y and Joseph.

â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Dress for a Female Baye Fallâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; displays Senegal made clothing at the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;A Saint in the Cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Sufi Arts of Urban Senegal is an exhibit on display at the Krannert Art Center in Champaign which explores the arts and expressive culture of Islamic West Africa through a dynamic and influential movement in Senegal known as the Mouride Way, based on the teachings of the Muslim Saint Sheikh Amadou Bamba. The exhibit will be up until December 31, 2006. â&#x20AC;&#x153;There is room for community and input,â&#x20AC;? says Harleman. Children who visited KAM during family festivals and school trips created their own drawings and works of art using a variety of mediums. Their drawings of famous authors, pictures of families, interpretations of dreams (â&#x20AC;&#x153;I dreamed a Unihcorn!â&#x20AC;? says one, accompanied by a drawing of the animal) and many other creations are all showcased on a large wall at the beginning of the exhibit.

Drawings by world-famous authors are featured in the next room, alongside more drawings by children from around the United States and from Japan. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s important to have them in close proximity to the famous ones,â&#x20AC;? says Harleman.

Similarities can be seen between some of these works and those of the 9-year-old Picasso.

In Picassoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s drawing â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bullfight and Pigeons,â&#x20AC;? he draws a crowd watching a bullfight, with pigeons looming overhead. Most of the crowd is represented by simple scribbles and the bull and bullfighter appear small, while the pigeons are large, darker and much more detailed than the rest of the scene. The drawing shows Picassoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s budding talent and hints at the unconventional styles that would later make him one of the most respected artists of the modern era. â&#x20AC;&#x153;When We Were Youngâ&#x20AC;? has been very wellreceived by the public, Harleman says, and its opening received a very large attendance. Children are still encouraged to contribute their artwork to the exhibit, continue to use their creativity and foster their artistic talent. In the future, perhaps some of them will even become well-known artists.

As Picasso stated as an adult, â&#x20AC;&#x153;When I was the age of these children I could draw like Raphael.

It took me many years to draw like them.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x153;When We Were Young: New Perspectives on the Art of the Child,â&#x20AC;? will be on display at the Krannert Art Museum untiil Dec. 31. sounds from the scene

9. The Polar Express (2004) A beautiful, exciting computer-generated confection about a group of kids who travel to t he Nor t h Pole v ia t he m a g ica l Pol a r Express train. Tom Hanks provides almost all the adult voices.

8. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) Jim Carrey is perfect as the manic, scheming Grinch whose heart grows several sizes after meeting sweet Cindy Lou Who. 7. Elf (2003) Buddy the Elf isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t an elf, but a man. He travels to the U.S. to fi nd his real home and family.

Will Ferrell as Buddy is hilarious without being inappropriate.

6. The Santa Clause (1994) A family comedy starring Tim Allen as a businessman who puts on the suit after Santa dies in a roof accident and becomes â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Big Guyâ&#x20AC;? himself, to the delight of his son and the concern of his ex-wife.

5. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) A made-for-TV, Emmy-winning special with Charles Schultzâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Charlie Brown and friends searching for the true meaning of Christmas.

4. A Christmas Carol (1951) This Charles Dickens story has been told on fi lm countless times, but the 1951 version is supposedly the defi nitive one.

3. Miracle on 34th Street (1947) The original with Maureen Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Hara and Natalie Wood is the best.

2. A Christmas Story (1983) All Ralphie wants for Christmas is a Red Ryder air rifle. This movie is a genuine look back at Christmas in the 1940s, with nostalgic scenes that kids and parents can relate to â&#x20AC;&#x201D; licking a frozen pole, dinnertable shenanigans and confronting bullies.

1. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a Wonderful Life (1946) Frank Capraâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s classic story of a man who gives of himself until he has nothing left has touched the hearts of viewers of all ages. Jimmy Stewartâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s character George Bailey is one that all should try to imitate. Maybe thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s why itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s on TV every Christmas ...

10. Miracle on 34th Street (1947) No Christmas would be complete without at lea st ment ion i ng this movie. This hopeful movie reminds us t h at t hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a l it t le part in all of us that still believes in Santa.

9. A Christmas Carol (1951) This movie reminds us that Christmas is about caring and giving, not just getting.

8. A Christmas Story (1983) This oldie but goodie came out probably a couple years before most of us were born. But donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t worry, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not too late to see it â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure you can fi nd a VCR that still plays VHS tapes somewhere.

5:00 5:30 7:30 8:00 9:55 10:30

Sneak Preview: WE ARE MARSHALL (PG) (DLP) Fri. - Thu. 2:15 4:30 7:15 10:05

ROCKY BALBOA (PG) (DLP) Fri. 1:15 1:45 4:00 4:30 7:10 7:40 9:30

10:00 11:45 12:10 (DLP) Sat. 11:15 1:15 1:45 4:00 4:30 7:10 7:40 9:30 10:00 11:45 12:10 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 1:15 1:45 4:00 4:30 7:10 7:40 9:30 10:00

CHARLOTTE'S WEB (G) (DLP) Fri. 12:15 1:05 2:30 3:15 4:45 5:30 7:00 7:45 9:20 9:55 11:30 (DLP) Sat. 11:00 12:15 1:05 2:30 3:15 4:45 5:30 7:00 7:45 9:20 9:55 11:30 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 12:15 1:05 2:30 3:15 4:45 5:30 7:00 7:45 9:20 9:55 ERAGON (PG) (DLP)Fri. 1:00 1:45 3:25 4:15 5:50 7:00 8:15 9:30 10:40 11:50 (DLP) Sat. 11:15 1:00 1:45 3:25 4:15 5:50 7:00 8:15 9:30 10:40 11:50 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 1:00 1:45 3:25 4:15 5:50 7:00 8:15 9:30

THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) (DLP)Fri. 1:30 4:10 7:05 9:45 12:15 (DLP) Sat. 11:00 1:30 4:10 7:05 9:45 12:15 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 1:30 4:10 7:05 9:45

APOCALYPTO (R) (DLP) Fri. - Thu. 1:10 4:05 7:00 9:55 THE HOLIDAY (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) (DLP) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 3:55 7:00 9:50 BLOOD DIAMOND (R) (DLP) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 4:00 7:00 10:00 UNACCOMPANIED MINORS (PG) (DLP) Fri. - Thu. 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:30 THE NATIVITY STORY (PG) (DLP) Fri. & Sat. 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:45 9:40 11:55 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 1:00 3:10 5:20 7:45 9:40

DEJA VU (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) (DLP) Fri. - Thu. 9:45 CASINO ROYALE (PGâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;13) (DLP) Fri. - Thu. 1:20 4:10 7:00 9:50 HAPPY FEET (PG) (DLP) Fri. & Sat. 12:00 2:25 4:50 7:15 9:30 11:45 (DLP) Sun. - Thu. 12:00 2:25 4:50 7:15 9:30

7. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) Perhaps you shouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t watch this movie at night, but this creepy, fun movie will put you in the Christmas spirit.

SAVOY 16

6. Jack Frost (1998) A movie about a talking snow man. What more could you want?

5. Jingle All the Way (1996) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s always fun to watch Arnold Schwarzenegger run around like a chicken with his head cut off as he looks for a doll for his sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Christmas present. Sorry, not a doll â&#x20AC;&#x201D; an action figure.

4. A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) This movie always make me want to put some ornaments â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and more branches â&#x20AC;&#x201D; on that naked Charlie Brown tree.

3. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) Oh come on, this movie is a classic. Everyone hums the sneaky little tune that plays every time the Grinch is creeping around and trying to ruin Christmas.

2. Elf (2003) With Will Ferrell singing, making syr upy spaghetti and on a mission to be loved, heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll do anything to make us laugh and put us in a holiday mood.

1. Home Alone (1989) I know it came out light years ago, but who could forget Macaulay Culkinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s scream after shaving â&#x20AC;&#x201D; I can still hear his squeaky voice after 16 years.

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SEE TOP TEN HOLIDAY MOVIES PG. 14

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TOP TEN HOLIDAY MOVIES CONTINUED FROM PG. 13

KATIE DEVINE • STAFF WRITER

JEFF GROSS • STAFF WRITER

10. Jingle A l l t he Way (1996) Even though I haven’t seen t h i s mov ie i n forever, I remembering it being surprisingly entertaining and clever.

6. A Christmas Carol (1951) This was one of the first holiday movies I ever saw.

It is just one of those films you can’t forget.

9. The Santa Clause (1994) For some odd reason, I just really liked this movie when it came out. Just like every other movie, it had a sentimental lesson, but it was also funny. I don’t know how I feel about Santa Clause 2 and 3 though ...

4. Love Actually (2003) I like all the different subplots in this movie. When they all come together, it just makes you happy.

8. A Miracle on 34th Street (1947) This is another one of those classic films I grew up watching.

7. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966) I would watch the original version of this when I was younger, but the new version with Jim Carrey is pretty good too. I always felt a little sad for that Grinch.

5. Elf (2003) This movie is hilarious because of Will Ferrell.

No matter how old you are, you can’t help but to enjoy it.

3. Home Alone (1989) This movie reminds me of my childhood. My sister and I would always watch it together.

2. A Christmas Story (1983) This was one movie that always made me laugh when I was younger.

1. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) I picked this movie because it is the all-time classic. I watch it with my family at least once every year.

10. The Star Wars Holiday Special (1997) With over 20 minutes of Wook iees speaking Shyr iwook (and no subtitles), this could quite possibly be the worst TV special ever made. George Lucas vowed to one day find and destroy every copy of this production in existence. Until then, drink up and enjoy; it’s awesomely bad!

9. Batman Returns (1992) This Burton-helmed action-packed sequel is significantly darker and more adult than its predecessor. Danny DeVito and Michel le Pfeiffer make a creepy duo as The Penguin and Catwoman, but it’s Christopher Walken who really shines.

8. Ghostbusters II (1987) I have a special place in my heart for this film as it was one of my favorite growing up. It’s one of the very few holiday movies to revolve around New Years Eve (Hudsucker Proxy?).

7. It’s A Wonderful Life (1946) A holiday staple; check your local cable listings.

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6. The Hebrew Hammer (2003) It’s the Israelite’s answer to all those crappy Christmas films; Jewsploitation at its best. Goyim beware!

5. Home Alone (1989) This is the movie that cemented Macaulay Culkin’s legacy in the ranks of child stars in film.

Joe Pesci’s comedic turn is utterly hilarious.

4. Bad Santa (2003) Terry Zwigoff is one of the most talented and versatile filmmakers working in Hollywood. Only he can turn a story about an alcoholic Santa and midget elf crime duo into a “film.”

3. A Christmas Story (1983) Another Christmas staple. It’ll be running 24 hours straight on TBS December 25th.

2. Black Christmas (1974) Go see the original before the remake is released; it’s the original slasher film.

1. The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) What do you get when you combine Danny Elfman, a screenplay from the dark, twisted mind of Tim Burton and the computer animated clayfigure style of Henry Selick? A holiday classic. It’s one of the best (animated) films ever created.

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BARR REAL ESTATE, INC. 356-1873 www.barr-re.com AVAILABLE AUGUST â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;07 THE NEVADAN 903 W. Nevada 2 BR â&#x20AC;˘ 2 Bath & 2 BR â&#x20AC;˘ 1 Bath Designer furniture package with queen-size sleigh beds. Walk-in 2 person showers in each bathroom.

Hardwood floors & ceramic tile, 9â&#x20AC;&#x2122; ceiling on 1st & 2nd floor, vaulted ceilings & skylights on top floor.

Walk-in closets, washer/dryer, covered parking, buzzer entry. Highspeed internet available. Please call for information.

BARR REAL ESTATE 356-1873 www.barr-re.com FAIRLAWN VILLAGE, U Available Now. 1 & 2 bedroom duplexes in quiet Urbana neighbrhood.

Carpet, Window A/C, some Washer/Dryer hookups, Gas or Electric Heat. 1 bedrooms $500/mo, 2 bedrooms $550/mo. Shown 7 days a week.

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310 E. Clark Spring 2007 sublease. 1 person loft with outside deck. Parking spot included. If interested please call Rick at (630)885-3637 Furnished 1 BR, BA is available for Spring and Summer for $450/mo.

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4 bedroom, 2 bath. Walk to downtown Champaign. $1200/month 217369-1670 http://www.milsco.us 4 br house in Champaign. Newly remodeled. $900/mo. (217)369-1670 4 BR off-street parking, central air, no pets. $1400/mo. 417-5539.

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$450 plus utilities. Available now or in January, clean, new furnished room with option of house rental ( $1400), w/bath, laundry privileges, parking, wireless, in bright new 3 bed 2.5 bath house minutes to University. Excellent neighborhood, close to park. Perfect for older students or visiting faculty. Email Shelly at sd_vision2100@yahoo.com .

Near Stone Creek subdivision in Urbana. www.4illini.com

300.."5& 8"/5&% 550 Roommate to share nice 3.5 BR house near Prospect and Daniel, lots of windows, arched doorways, wood floors, w/d and parking included. $475/mo plus utilities Melanie, 403-1965.

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kim rice & kate ruin DOIN’ IT WELL

the stinger

Don we now our gay apparel, fa la la la la ...

Coming out for the holidays

jonesin CROSSWORD PUZZLE

“Ribbed For Your Pleasure” 24 Flip out 25 It’s got ribs — solving pleasure, I meant.

27 Fast flyer, for short 28 Speed (by) Across 30 Affirmative vote 31 Abbr. near a smiley 1 Low-___ diet 5 Ironic short story writer 32 Walked nervously 9 Brazilian rhythm in 2/2 34 “Planet of the Apes” time, for short role Dr. ___ 14 Away from the wind 36 It’s got ribs 15 Uncap 40 Total bull 16 “___ beginning...”

41 Ham radio enthusiasts 17 It’s got ribs 42 Not Willie Nelson’s favorite org.

19 More urgent 43 Recipe amt.

20 They may come with attachments 46 “Incidentally,” in Internet 21 B’___ B’rith lingo 23 E. ___ 47 Magazine with “The

Lighter Side of...”

It’s got ribs Party crasher?

Golden Rule word It’s heard by herders Like some decals and patches 58 Frankie who sang “Love Is a Golden Ring” 60 They’ve got ribs 62 “From the top!”

63 Note between VPs, say 64 Another word for margarine 65 Smarts 66 Stuck in ___ 67 “Freak on a Leash” band 50 53 55 56 57

Down 1 Shelfmates of Marlboros 2 Los ___ 3 Meal 4 Give a false impression of 5 When pagans light bonfires 6 Chum of Tarzan 7 Alex’s “Bill & Ted” costar 8 Evil reputation 9 Try on eBay 10 Reserved 11 Enter as if nothing happened 12 Pay painfully 13 Some antennas 18 Helen Mirren’s role in “The Queen” 22 The Cure’s “Why Can’t ___ You?” 26 Perimeter deterrent 29 Chest muscle 32 Letters near the 7, on some phones 33 Nobel Peace Prize refuser Le ___ Tho 35 “___ for apple...” (cereal jingle line) 36 Part of the nobility 37 Dog also known as a German shepherd 38 Flow counterpart 39 Cockpit occupant 40 Leg bones 44 Stand-in 45 Flat panel display type 47 ___ Blahniks (chic shoes) 48 One who makes amends 49 Ted of “Help Me Help You” 51 Braxton and Collette 52 Magic or Wilt, once 54 Uncool 59 One way to go: abbr.

61 Ostrich relative Answers on Pg. 17

NE

PA Rentals•Lessons•Repairs•Music Books

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T

he holidays provide a time when families and friends re-unite and spend time with each other. It’s also a time when you may decide to come out as lesbian, gay or bisexual.

Or it may be a time when someone decides to come out to you.

HEARING IT Many people are not prepared to hear the words “I’m gay” or “I’m a lesbian” from a friend or loved one, but it doesn’t have to be a huge surprise if you recognize the possibility that your buddy you played soccer with in high school could be gay.

Start fostering a comfortable environment regardless of your friend or loved one’s orientation that allows for the possibility of them to be LGBQ (lesbain, gay, bisexual, queer). Use open questions like “Are you dating anyone?” rather than “Do you have a girlfriend?” (to a male).

If a friend or family member does come out to you, acknowledge that the situation may be awkward for both of you. Acceptance may not come instantly for you, and you may have a lot of questions.

Be honest about your feelings, and take responsiblity if you hurt your friend or loved one inadvertently. It may be helpful to ask your loved one for some time after you hear the news, so you can gather your thoughts and not make statements that are hurtful.

Whatever your reactions are, be sure to tell your friend that you care about them. Remember, they are the same person you have known all this time.

Get suppor t for your sel f. Cont act the Champaign-Urbana chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays at cupflag@ hotmail.com.

SAYING IT Coming out is a continual process and happens over and over again for LGBQ folks. The idea of “coming out” was introduced in 1869 by Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, a gay rights activist. He urged gay people to come out, recognizing that invisibility was an obstacle in changing public opinion.

But you have to come out for your own reasons and in a way that feels good and safe for you. You don’t have to come out to anyone unless you’re ready for that expeirence and for the possible responses of others.

If you’ve been out to yourself for a while, you have probably already tried to get a feel for how your family and friends might react to your announcement. It may help to start coming out only to those folks you feel comfortable with.

It may not be the best move to make the announcement with your 13 cousins, seven aunts and uncles, parents and grandparents all at the

table ready for dinner. Unless you think they’d clink their glasses together in a toast and get on with their meals.

Kate: I chose to come out to one person at a time and started by telling my brother. I knew he’d be cool because I had heard him stand up for queer folks in the past and I know he loves me unconditionally.

The hard part was telling my Grandma who was raised in a religious family. I began by telling her about this wonderful woman I had met. After going on and on about how much this woman meant to me I finally told Grandma that I was in love with this woman.

Grams was silent for a moment and then went on to barrage me with questions about if she could still expect great-grandkids from me. Once I assured her that was a possiblity she seemed OK with it … not happy or congratulatory, but OK nonetheless.

Remember that you may not get the reaction you are hoping for when you come out to friends or family. Be prepared to give people the space they need to process this information.

If you are going to come out to the people you’re staying with, be prepared to have a back up place to stay just in case it ends up not being safe or comfortable at “home.”

It may not be the most comfortable move to make the announcement with your 13 cousins, seven aunts and uncles, parents and grandparents all at the table ready for dinner. That is, unless you family is just that rad that they’d clink their glasses together in a toast and get on with their meals.

SEX 411: “COMING OUT” WAS ONCE USED TO REFER TO DEBUTANTES. • The word “debutante” comes from the french word for “female beginner” and referrs to a young lady from an aristocratic or upper-class family who had reached the age of maturity and was therefore introduced to society at a debutante ball. The ball meant the young woman was eligible for marriage and was known as her “debut” or “coming out.”

• Wouldn’t it be great if families would adopt a similar practice of coming out parties for their loved ones who are LGBT to show pride, love and joy that these people can now openly express who they are, and celebrate that they can fall in love and enjoy relationships with the support of their family and friends?

Kim Rice and Kate Ruin are professional sex educators. Send questions, comments, rants, raves and fan mail to riceandruin@yahoo.com.

Sun-Wed 11am-9pm Thurs-Sat 11am-3am!

404 E. Green St.

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LIKES AND GRIPES

free will astrology DEC 21 — DEC 27 ARIES

March 21 – April 19

Happy Holy Daze, Aries! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gifts for you. What might inspire you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2007? Here’s my answer: a plane ticket to an exotic playground where your mind will get blown and your emotions aired out and your instincts educated. Another gift I’d love you to have would be a pilgrimage to a spot where you lived once upon a time. There you could take advantage of Nelson Mandela’s counsel: “There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”

T A U RU S

April 20 – May 20

Happy Holy Daze, Taurus! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What item might inspire you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2007? I’ve decided on *Winning With Integrity: Getting What You’re Worth Without Selling Your Soul,* a book by sports agent Leigh Steinberg. It’ll help you be both smart and heartful as you navigate your way through the negotiations you’ll be called on to do in the coming months. Here’s a taste of Steinberg’s advice. (1) Align yourself with people who share your values. (2) Learn all you can about the other party. (3) Create a climate of cooperation, not conflict. (4) Learn to listen. (5) Convince the other party you have an option, even if you don’t.

GEMINI

May 21 – June 20

Happy Holy Daze, Gemini! I’ve been thinking about the perfect holiday gift for you to give yourself. Considering the cosmic currents in 2007, what offering would be most appropriate? The answer is a magic mirror. Why? Because I think you should look at your reflection more often in the coming year. Gaze more deeply into your own eyes and try harder to find out who’s really there inside you. Talk to yourself pointedly while you’re in front of your magic mirror; ask yourself probing questions. And every now and then, press up close to your reflection for a kiss.

CANCER

June 21 – July 22

Happy Holy Daze, Cancerian! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might put you in the right mood to deal proactively with potential problems in 2007?

I’ve decided on a set of those specially-designed clothes-storage bags that allow you to suck all the air out, compressing your sweaters and pants so that they take up significantly less space in your luggage or closet. Hopefully these bags would inspire you to come up with creative applications of the “less is more” principle, which will be a recurring theme for you in the coming months.

LEO

July 23 – Aug. 22

Happy Holy Daze, Leo! In 2007, I predict that you’ll experience a metaphorical version of something that’s rare in nature: a gentle birth. There’ll be a big new addition to your life, in other words, and its arrival won’t hurt a bit--may even feel downright ecstatic. Here’s some more mysterious good news: In the coming months, you will have the power to learn from the moon, converse with the dead, and remember your ancient origins.

And get this: The adventures that amuse you most could involve foam rubber, distant bells, smoke rising from manholes, plums from Damascus, and exotic trophies. One more thing, Leo: In 2007, brand new bedtime stories will be mandatory.

VIRGO

Aug. 23 – Sept. 22

LIBRA

Sept. 23 – Oct.22

Mytho-poetic scholars say that honey symbolizes emotional maturity. When it appears in your dreams or reveries, it may mean you’re expanding your capacity to experience feelings that are positive and healthy for you. It suggests you’re ready to shed distorted psychological patterns that you unwittingly absorbed as a child, and replace them with new imprints that are in harmony with your highest values. Since 2007 will bring opportunities for you to do these exact things, Virgo, I suggest that you give honey an honored place in your life. Maybe buy some of the best stuff on the market, put it in a fine decanter, and keep it on an altar in your bedroom. Happy Holy Daze!

Happy Holy Daze, Libra! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might inspire you to be in closest alignment with the cosmic currents in 2007? I’ve decided on the book *Power Unseen: How Microbes Rule the World.* In it, author Bernard Dixon praises bacteria, viruses, fungi, and protozoa. Without them, he says, we’d be nothing.

They’re instrumental in providing our food, purifying our drinking water, and processing our sewage. If you keep *Power Unseen* in a prominent place in your home during the coming months, it might constantly remind you to be reverent toward and grateful for the little things--which is exactly what the astrological omens suggest you should do. Maybe the book will also inspire you to be alert for invisible helpers and inconspicuous allies.

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LET IT OUT

SCORPIO

Oct. 23 – Nov. 21

S AG I T TA R I U S

Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

CAPRICORN

Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

Happy Holy Daze, Scorpio! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might inspire you to be in closest alignment with the cosmic currents in 2007?

I’ve decided on Elvis Presley’s favorite midnight snack: a peanut butter and banana sandwich deep-fried in butter. Why? Because like the King, you should aggressively pursue the unique experiences that will reliably give you comfort and sustenance. Like the King, you should feel no guilt about doing unusual things that you know in your heart will help you perform at your best.

Happy Holy Daze, Sagittarius! My gift for you is the following oracle: A breakthrough you were blessed with in 1995 will be coming back around in 2007. How? Three possible ways: (1) You’ll be inspired to make changes to whatever sprung from that original breakthrough 12 years ago. (2) You’ll be visited by a new version of that breakthrough, on a higher octave this time. (3) You’ll attempt a quantum leap that resembles the original, but happens in a different area of your life.

Happy Holy Daze, Capricorn! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic offering might inspire you to be in closest alignment with the cosmic currents in 2007? I’ve decided on Ed Anger’s book *Let’s Pave the Stupid Rainforests & Give School Teachers Stun Guns.* Not because I agree with his assertions, but simply because his outrageousness might push you to dream up wild solutions to your same old boring dilemmas; his rowdy spirit may fuel your own rebellious flights of imagination that will inspire you to fight back against the numbing insanity of the loony bin known as “reality.”

AQUA R I U S

humor coach in the film *Borat*? Happy Holy Daze, Aquarius!

Feb. 19 – March 20

Happy Holy Daze, Pisces! I’ve been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What symbolic item might stimulate you to take maximum advantage of the cosmic currents in 2007? I’ve decided on a ladder. This power object will signify two important themes for you: (1) Your potential to climb to a higher level of excellence and clout, giving you a more expansive view of your surroundings. (2) The need to make this ascent carefully and deliberately (not quickly and sloppily), with the aid of simple tools (not with the metaphorical equivalent of an elevator), and with trustworthy assistance (for example, with someone to hold the ladder steady).

Homework: Make a prediction about what you will do in 2007.

Tell me about it by going to http://RealAstrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”

PUZZLE pg. 16

BRITTANY BINDRIM Art director LIKES 1) Intervention on A+E: I am a sucker for anything related to addictions and the psychology behind them. It’s interesting to see what happens to the addicts after the go through treatment.

2) The song “Unreadable Communication” by Curve: This is my favorite song at the moment.

I love how the dubby electronics slowly climb and progress into this huge wave as the vocals match the intensity, and then explode and the end. It’s beautiful.

3) Bart the doorman: Every Tuesday night at Subversion, Bart stamps my hand free of charge even though I have not DJ’ed at the Highdive in ages. This gives me a couple extra bucks to buy an additional drink for the night. Thanks Bart, I heart you.

AMELIA MOORE Photography Editor LIKES 1) Pharmaceutical drugs: Oh, mom.

2) Vacuum attachments: Cheaper than a pet...

3) Soldering: Mmmm-

Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

You should and could be the zodiac’s premier networker in 2007. The connections you foster and the deals you broker can save the world--or at least your local segment of the world. In order to pull it all off with maximum effectiveness, you should also be the zodiac’s premier fun-maker. Throw parties, tell jokes, and constantly invite people to play harder and take themselves less seriously. What can you do to prepare for this destiny?

Start by getting yourself holiday gifts that will help you fulfill your assignments. How about installing a backyard water park, for instance? (Neiman-Marcus offers such a thing in its Christmas catalog.) Or about some comedy lessons from a person like the

PISCES

17

ERIN SCOTTBERG Editor in chief GRIPES 1) Automatic paper towel dispensers: Not only do they never dispense enough paper towels, but you have to wave your hands in front of it like a crazy-lady! Anyway, paper towels just create unnecessary waste. Give me a good old air dryer and a few swipes across my jeans any day.

2) The I-will-probably-never-see-you-again goodbye: What’s the appropriate way to say goodbye to friends, classmates and co-workers whose company you enjoy but who aren’t really more than a work/school-buddy? It’s kind of akward. “Good bye.”

“Later.” “Good luck.” “Yeah, you too.” “Have a nice life.” “Yeah, you too.” And then, is there any physical contact? A handshake? Too formal. A hug? Too personal. I guess this is when the half-handshake halfhug pat-on-the-bag thing comes in. Oh well.

3) Textbook buy-back: I don’t often sell my books back. Why? Because $8 for a book I paid $80 for is insulting. And yes, many of my text books might come in handy sometime — and I’m just a packrat.

Let’s damn the man: Buy and sell all your books through local outlets like IlliniBooxExchange.com.

Buy cheaper books (often with notes and exams included) and sell yours for more.

NIKITA SOROKIN DESIGNER

mMmmm liquid metal.

Likes TATYANA SAFRONOVA Community Editor GRIPES 1) Americans: Those idiots Borat encounters, to be more specific.

Can you say homophobic, misogynistic, racist and ignorant? Supposedly, two frat boys — the ones who want to bring back slavery and who don’t respect the girls they sleep with — are suing Sacha Baron Cohen. I wonder what the people at the rodeo, the ones who want to imprison homosexuals and destroy every Iraqi citizen, are going to do. Urge the U.S. government to firebomb Kazakhstan? Deport all “non-Americans”?

2) Starstruck people: Remember when Mel Gibson and Michael Richards proved to be bigots? Sure you do. All of America remembers, because when a celebrity goes haywire and decides to insult a minority group, everyone listens, gasps and says how this reflects the greater ills of America. Frankly, dropout, imprisonment and poverty rates reflect the social ills much better than Mel Gibson of Michael Richards. Who even cares about the two men outside of their acting careers? The last time I cared about what Michael Richards as Michael Richards said was ... never.

3) Leaving Champaign-Urbana: Really ... I’m getting kind of sappy about leaving this town and my friends for two weeks. I didn’t know what this feeling was, this tightness in my throat, this malaise, but now I know. Do you mean ... I’m getting attached?!

1) Foghorn: The sound of metal monsters lost at sea.

2) B u l l h o r n: T h e crackling drone of the riot squad.

3) Air horn: The semi-truck tango.

MEGHAN WHALEN Copy Chief GRIPES 1) Not having a car: I’ve had to tour the state for the past few days — going home to Springfield to have Christmas dinner with extended family, coming back to Champaign to copy edit, going to Chicago to see The Nutcracker with my boyfriend, and finally going home for a while. While my gracious boyfriend has given me rides, it’s going to suck being home and not be able to go anywhere.

2) Christmas shopping: All I do is focus on finals for most of December, then all of a sudden it’s the week before Christmas and, oh crap! I don’t have any gifts for anyone! So begins my last-minute scramble to make sure everyone on my list gets a good present.

3) Fergie: Not only does she speak/yell every single one of her songs, but she speaks/yells the most inane lyrics ever. “Fergie Ferg and me love you long time” and “my lovely lady lumps” are a couple of choice examples.

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D e c e m b e r 21, 2 0 0 6

A MOROCCAN FEAST OF THE SENSES TO RING IN THE NEW YEAR

D i n n er B eg i n s a t 8 : 3 0 p m

Served family style (on a platter for you and your guests to share) * Lamb Tagine with Artichokes * Marinated Olives * Goat Cheese & Roasted Red Pepper Crostini * * Couscous-Parsley Salad * Fennel Scented Sweet Onions * Honey & Almond Stuffed Dates * * Confit of Grapes * Herb Baked White Fish * Stuffed Grape Leaves * Pomegranate Braised Chicken * * Beef, Artichoke & Roasted Tomato Kabobs with Spiced Yogurt Sauce *

Unlimited Champagne & Specialty Cocktail Selections with Party Favors & more.

Belly dance performances throughout the evening by the dance artist group TR IKHAAL A RESERVA TI ONS

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Allerton Lodging and Dinner Package: $185 (single) / $260 (double) + applicable taxes See our website for details: Montgomerysdining.com

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