Gallop

“You again? I’m not talking to you anymore because you didn’t tell that woman what I really said.”

“That woman pays $1,500 a month to keep you hock deep in clean sawdust, $100 every two weeks for your myofascial release massages, and $300 for your monthly chiro/acupuncture sessions, with additional mesotherapy at another $75 a pop. So I’m not telling her you don’t like the way she smells and to stop eating so many onions. Besides, I thought when you cooked them, your breath is OK.”

“Maybe for your sense of smell. But for mine? Ach, Stinkefuesse. Every time that woman kisses me on my nose, which is constant, I want to vomit. And we both know why that’s problematic. Totes Pferd.”

Jilly Gild is an animal communicator and that was her second conversation with Commander, a prickly Hanoverian gelding with a laundry list of complaints. While Jilly specializes in horses, she can talk to dogs, cats, lions, platypuses, whales, giraffes, etc. But the money is in horses. Big money.