THE PULPWOOD QUEENS’ TIARA-WEARING, BOOK-SHARING GUIDE TO LIFE

“What’s not to like about a woman who loves books, likes to do hair, and opens a salon/bookstore called Beauty and the Book? THE PULPWOOD QUEENS’ TIARA-WEARING, BOOK-SHARING GUIDE TO LIFE is really funny, and it’s really wise.” —James Patterson, author of The 6th Target

“I loved reading this book as much as I’ve loved getting to know Kathy. She is a genuine force of nature, and your life will be richer once you’ve read her words.” —Adrienne Barbeau, actress and author of There Are Worse Things I Could Do

When I was little, Bi-Rite, our local five-and-dime, sold a beauty-queen set that I wanted more than just about anything else in the world. It came in one of those flimsy cardboard boxes with a cellophane lid, the better to show off the treasures inside. I coveted the items the package presented: a “mink,” two high-heeled sandals made of see through plastic with stretchy elastic glitters’ silver straps to hold them on your feet, a princess’s scepter, and a real silver plastic tiara.

The Queen for a Day set was out of my price range, which made me want it even more. My mother did not approve.

“But, Mommy, everybody has them,” I whined. I begged. I pleaded. My mother didn’t budge, pointing out that the fake mink looked like rat’s fur. I would never admit that I thought so too. Hey, fur was fur and I wanted one.

She informed me that the plastic sandals would break after one or two wearings and were probably too little for my big feet, and the tiara? That plastic piece of trash contained no jewels, not even fake ones. Okay, okay, so it was made from a mold with bumps and indentations meant to look like jewels. I knew those kind of tiaras never seemed to stay on your head for more than a few seconds at a time. But come on, I was looking at the big picture. I could be a Queen!

Find out the rest of the story inside July's issue!

The above is an excerpt from Kathy L. Murphy’s book - THE PULPWOOD QUEENS’ TIARA-WEARING, BOOK-SHARING GUIDE TO LIFE .