THE INTERNATIONAL PULPWOOD QUEEN AND TIMBER GUY BOOK CLUB
anachronisitcally alchemical genius...The submergence of the subterranean city. The flames consume the Metal Maiden.”) I had no idea what they were talking about, but I wanted some. I never saw most of these movies, but I studied their descriptions until I knew them by heart. I knew that 2001: A Space Odyssey was about a starship full of hibernating space vampires. I knew that Things to Come was about a war between underground mole men and surface dwellers who were addicted to PBS. Buck Rogers was about space fighters in blimps getting mail order rayguns and robots out of a catalogue and maybe also something about scuba diving. With no access to these movies, and not allowed to see anything rated R, I began convincing adults to buy me movie magazines like Fangoria, reading about movies I would never see, making up the plots in my head, tossing off phrases like “Atomigeddon” and “The Sphinx of Far Futurity” the way other people talked about “beach towels” or “grapes.” Years later, I finally saw 2001: A Space Odyssey and was disappointed and confused that there wasn’t a single space vampire in sight. Reality didn’t live up to the dreams I received from this cheap, crummy chunk of newsprint. And that’s when I realized that if I 94 OCTOBER 2021
