Table of
CONTENTS
E
8
Listen to Anita Moorjani’s message of love and joy
26
Find joy in the journey
11
It’s time to find your sacred space with Megan Dalla Carmina
28
Oprah and Abundance
18
Recognising the difference between intuition and fear
30
Going with the flow - Bessie Bardot’s life change experiment
20
The Comparison Trap
22
How to realise your personal path to purpose
24
Dealing with those with a scarcity mindset
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Editor in Editor in
Chief
Chi
Welcome to Believe Magazine. It promises to be a great read filled with inspiring women who have genuine nuggets of wisdom to share and we are really excited to bring them to you.
decided to test the spiritual concepts of faith and flow, giving up all her worldly possessions to help others with no plan other than trust. Is it really possible to live like this?
Sometimes, things happen in life, just flowing with little effort and thinking, because they are just meant to be birthed. Believe magazine was one of those “things.” Its purpose is to inspire, educate and energise, to anchor belief in yourself, to share real stories from amazing women about what’s possible and the road to get there.
Megan Dalla Camino, writes about showing women how to do things differently, more flow, less hassle. She’s been there, done that and offers her expertise as extraordinary coach, author and speaker.
In this edition, Anita Moorjani will be joining us (a favourite speaker and teacher of mine) where she talks about her near-death experience and the realisations of how important it is to love oneself unconditionally, practice acceptance and joy. She also shares some great tips to living a life of joy and love. Also in this issue is a fabulous article about the one and only - Oprah Winfrey. Her open curiosity, success and adversity in life gives us an enriching birds eye view of how one woman can impact the world and make selfdevelopment a mainstream word.
Introducing a great story by Bessie Bardot – a celebrity, a successful business women, speaker and author who
We tackle comparison, that one eyed monster dimming our light from shining…and some helpful tips to bring the focus back “into” you. We look at how family and friends can impact your abundance mindset and unhinge you into doubt and lack and how to get back in sync with yourself. Dive in, there are more interesting articles waiting inside this issue. We loved putting it together for you and hope Believe can help you on your journey to inspire, educate and energise. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to read Believe.
Contributors
Megan Dalla-Camina
Rose Milliken
is a strategist, speaker, writer, and researcher on women, leadership and work. Before becoming a thriving entrepreneur she spent two decades as a senior executive in global organizations such as GE, PwC and IBM; first as an award winning Marketing Director, and most recently as Head of Strategy for IBM, including remits for Gender Diversity and Organizational Culture and Change.
When people ask Rose what she does, especially around her Clairvoyant Healing, the conversation always seem to gravitate to where her journey began. Often Rose feels when asked, that there is an expectation that the answer was some kind of lightning strike or a glowing light followed by a visit from an angel at the bottom of her bed…or better still a visit from an old aunt with the lotto numbers.
Megan won the inaugural NAB/Women’s Agenda award for Leader in the Private Sector, and she has been nominated for Telstra Business Woman of the Year twice. Her work and writing has been featured in Forbes, Fortune, Fast Company, Huffington Post, Psychology Today, NBC, Fox Business, CBS News, Marie Claire, Elle, Wellbeing, Womens Agenda and more. She is the author of the best selling book Getting Real About Having It All (Hay House) and Lead Like A Woman.
But no, there wasn’t one monumental event that started this journey for Rose. The truth is like everyone else, she has an intuitive side, an inner knowing, a feeling when something is not right and a sense of peace when she let’s go of worry and let the universe happen. Rose began to tune into the odd feeling here and there, the occasional awareness of patterns and coincidences and sensing of messages. So slowly over time rather than ignore or pretend these events weren’t happening, she decided to pay attention, actively look for the coincidences and embrace what the universe was wanting her to see, feel and understand.
megandallacamina.com @megan.dallacarmina @megandallacarmina
www.rosemilliken.com.au
Anita Moorjani
Bessie Bardot
an international speaker and the author of New York Times best seller dying to be me and her latest book, what if this is heaven?, Is a woman with a remarkable story.
8 years ago Bessie made the biggest decision of her life. To give away everything she owned to the needy, and set out on an experiment. The aim? To test first hand if spiritual concepts like Faith, Flow, Authentic living were REAL practical ways to live or just wishful thinking. What Bessie discovered CHANGED HER LIFE FOREVER. Today the adventure continues.
After a 4-year battle with cancer, Anita fell into a coma and was given days to live. As her doctors gathered to revive her, she journeyed into a near death experience (NDE) where she was surrounded by unconditional love and deep wisdom. In this place, she was given a powerful truth: HEAVEN IS NOT A DESTINATION; IT IS A STATE OF BEING. During her NDE, Anita was also given the choice to return to her physical form or to continue into this new realm. She chose the former. And when she regained consciousness, her cancer began to heal. To the amazement of her doctors, she was free of countless tumors and cancer indicators within weeks. www.anitamoorjani.com @anita.moorjani @anitamoorjani
www.bessiebardot.com @bessie.bardot
Listen to Anita Moorjani’s
Message of Love & Joy
A By Emma Babbington
During that time, she remembers her deceased father and best friend appearing and explaining that it wasn’t her time to die. Anita also came to the understanding that she had a bigger purpose to fulfill: to share a message of love and joy with people in the physical world. After waking from the 30-hour coma, Anita was treated with chemotherapy and began to recover. Five weeks after arriving in hospital on the brink of death, Anita was in full remission and since then has travelled the world sharing her NDE experience and message. The New York Times bestselling author talks to BELIEVE about how we can use her teachings in every day life.
nita Moorjani had been unwell for more than three years with lymphoma when she slipped into a coma in 2006. While unconscious, and in full organ failure, Anita says she experienced a near death experience which changed her life.
BELIEVE: What motivates you to continue with your work and message? Anita: I came back from my NDE with the knowledge that Heaven is a state and not a place. I realized that the peace and love that humankind craves resides inside each and every one of us. We can accept it at any time. We don’t have to wait to die to experience heaven, unconditional love, acceptance and joy. We can experience it right now by simply connecting with our inner truths, honouring them completely and fully loving ourselves in the process. Knowing this truth makes me passionate to share it. I dedicate my life to sharing these powerful lessons world-wide.
BELIEVE: What steps can we take to believe in ourselves and have the strength to forge ahead when we have failed in the past?
human. My message that I share with the world reminds me of my magnificence and the truths I learned from my experiential journey. This is my passion and it is what encourages me to spread my message and to continue on. Anita’s steps to living a life of love and joy
When we do things that we really enjoy doing, that we are passionate about we will live our life in joy, says Anita. 1. If you’re sick, don’t fight it. Embrace it. Love where you are now. Only when you approach your health challenges from a point of love can you overcome the fear.
Anita: We must love ourselves first and the rest will follow. The most meaningful lesson I learned from being at death’s door is that unless I love myself, nothing else in my life can function at its best. The amount of depth, meaning and joy I experience in my life is in direct proportion to how much love I have for myself. The amount of love, kindness, patience I have for others is also directly proportional to how much love, patience and kindness I have for myself, because we cannot give others what we ourselves do not have. And, unsurprisingly, the amount of love, respect, support, and compassion I receive from others is also in direct proportion to how much of the same I have for myself. BELIEVE: Do you ever doubt yourself and your message and if so, how do you gather or encourage yourself to continue? I do not ever doubt my message as it is my truth. It is what I experienced during my NDE. However, I am no different than anyone else. I have challenging days, frustrating days and sad days but I know this is what it is like to be
2. Sometimes less information is better. When it comes to illness, more information does not necessarily equal more power. Too much research can actually add to the fear and symptoms. 3. Through your illness, your body is giving you a message. Work to understand and be with what is. 4. Everything comes from within. 5. Ask yourself, “What brings me joy?” And do more of that. 6. Don’t obsess and make your life about the illness. 7. Love yourself unconditionally. 8. Positive thinking can only help to a certain extent. It’s more about being yourself and loving yourself – regardless of what you are going through. 9. Stop judging yourself. 10. Express yourself fully. Ask yourself: “Am I allowing myself to express who I am? Am I being this person because I want to be accepted, or because it is who I am?”
11. Be centered in your true essence. From the place of pure centered-ness, miracles are possible. It’s about being, not doing. When you are in the space of being, miracles are possible. 12. The only thing that limits you is your own beliefs. 13. The best way to get out of a fear state is to do something that brings you into a state of joy. Find something that changes your state completely. Whatever it is – music or art or going out in nature. Do something completely different. Or meditate. If we can be still, we can go into a different reality. 14. Stay totally open. Get into a defused state in which all of the possibilities lie before you and you haven’t locked into any one. 15. Follow your bliss and do what you love. We tend to do what we think we should do, rather than what our heart tells us to do. We don’t do what makes our heart sing. 16. You are your own guru. All your answers are inside you. 17. Nobody is better than (or less than) you. We are all equal. 18. Focus on your feelings more than your thoughts. Make your everyday choices based on what makes you FEEL good, rather than what you THINK you should do or what others think you should do. 19. Don’t let a fear of failing or displeasing others run your life. 20. Realize your own MAGNIFICENCE For more inspiration and information visit: www.anitamoorjani.com @anita.moorjani Anita Moorjani
n u f l e s Love your y. l l a n o i t cond i The only thing th at limits y ou is yo ur own bel iefs.
n w o r u o y e z i . E Real C N E C I F I N G A M
It’s time time toto find find your sacred your sacred space space BY E M M A B A B B I N G TO N
In her own words, Megan Dalla Camina is passionate about changing the conversation on women, leadership and work. She’s a strategist, speaker, writer and researcher. She helps women in her role as a career coach and wants all of us to find our purpose and live with passion, creativity and spirituality. She spoke to BELIEVE on the eve of launching sacredliving.co, a lifestyle platform for women which she hopes will encourage and help us live a sacred life.
THIS IS THE TIME “I’ve been sensing within myself over the past five years and in particular 18 months, this real longing among women to slow down, to tune in and to get back to what is most sacred in our lives. And find more meaning and space for things that matter; whether that’s family, wellbeing, spiritual life or creativity. It’s this longing women have for less hassle and more flow,” explains Megan. While women are rising in response to social injustice and political issues, she sees that we’re also struggling to be seen and find our place and space. We’re often also totally worn out! The answer, suggests Megan, is to recognise that we need to do things differently. “We have to create something on our own terms that works for ourselves,” she says. STEP 1: Ask – “What do you want to create?” The first step towards becoming more connected to ourselves, rather than to the machine of life, is to be clear on what we want to achieve. “I have a lot of women who come to me and the first question I ask is always: for what are you building and what do you want your life to look like?” she explains. To do this, we need to create the time and space to deeply feed into that question. STEP 2: Put your own self in order Megan urges us to prioritise our health and wellbeing as well as our spiritual, mental and emotional lives.
“Before we can do anything else, we have to get ourselves right. And the majority of women I see, and particularly entrepreneurial women, if their house is not in order - their bodies, lives, spiritual centre, mindset - they’re out of alignment with who they are and want to be,” she says. She suggests finding tools that work for us; whether it’s sleep, movement, meditation or other rituals. Megan, in particular, makes time for being in nature, yoga and has a passion for essential oils which she’s even built into a successful business. STEP 3: Be careful about saying ‘yes’ While we’re often advised to keep ourselves open to possibilities, for busy women, this can often be more harmful than helpful. We often don’t feel able to prioritise self care although we do a great job of giving love to everyone else in our lives, Megan points out. It might seem counter-intuitive, especially for creative or entrepreneurial women, but it’s important to limit what we do. “Take a really good look at what you’re saying yes to in your life and what you need to put boundaries around so you can create space for the things that matter the most,” she suggests. STEP 4: Listen to that inner guide At the route of everything is recognising and following our own truth. “I think there’s something to be said for stopping and breathing and tuning in to our
deep inner guidance,” she says. “You can only trust the path when you’re tuned in to your own guidance. Otherwise you’re just jumping at the next thing or what someone else is directing you to do.” STEP 5: Embrace a sacred life We all need to remember to stay anchored and present and living mindfully is a way to achieve this. “Sacred living is about simplifying life. It’s about stripping away the meaningless, the noise, and getting back to what is most sacred and knowing what that is for you,” she says. Of course, amid this, is the importance of helping others. “If we’re in a position where we can choose, we’re coming from a position of privilege and we always must be grateful for that and look and search for possibilities where we can support other women or people who don’t have that privilege,” says Megan. Megan’s new book, Simple Soulful Sacred - A women’s guide to clarity, comfort and coming home to herself will be published in 2019. Visit SACREDLIVING.CO to download Megan’s free ebook “Get Sacred” and find a sacred, online home when you need space, inspiration and wellbeing or visit megandallacamina.com for more about her workshops, coaching, speaking and blog.
Do you have a block, experiencing frustration about work, money or relationships? Would you like to have your question answered from a spiritual perspective to discover the beliefs keeping you on pause? Click here if you would like to be a part of Beyond Belief Q & A.
How to find inspiration when passion dies.
Why has my creativity disappeared?
When abundance abandons you
The comparison trap
How to know the difference between fear and intuition
Draining drama – the power of NO!
Recognising Intuition and Fear
the Difference Between
BY SYMMONE GORDON
Sure, we’ve all had it, that little voice inside our heads saying, “no,” and “don’t do it”. Some may automatically jump to the conclusion that this voice is their intuition, and that doing whatever you were about to do is a bad choice. And, while this may be true, there’s also the possibility that this little voice is actually fear creeping in, stopping you from doing something. But, how do we know what’s fear and what’s intuition? First of all, we take a closer look into what fear actually is. Fear can result from two states. Psychological fear, which is generated from the mind, and physical fear, which is fear from a real current threat. It’s usually Psychological fear which causes excessive anticipation about a future event in a negative way, often influenced by past experiences.
In a more literal sense, fear has a different feeling quality to it than intuition, because it’s an emotion. Fear permeates into the mind, it becomes a filter colouring reality. You create the world as you see it. Fear has far more emotional and conceptual detail. Fear transmits as a vibrational energy and continues to attract what it fears. It is alive, but doesn’t have aliveness, rather it is contracted and often associated with heavier emotions. On the other hand, Intuition is a feeling of just knowing, there is clarity and gives a different vibrational sensation within the body to fear. It is a wholeness and expansiveness that has no polarised thought. It feels peaceful. It is the awareness which exists outside of the mind, although the mind may come in afterwards trying to serve some rational perspective to that which has none. Intuition comes in many forms, “a voice,” through a dream, a deep knowing or it could be attached powerfully to a mental thought. In fact, Editor in Chief of this magazine, Symmone Gordon, experienced it firsthand herself in a near death situation.
Once you learn to ignore - or go beyond fear - and listen to your intuition then you will automaticity open the intuitive self, connection and unification to the source. Here are some ways to do this; Acceptance that the fear is yours and you have the power to transform its grip, allows you to see a different perspective beyond a reactive one. Facing your fears by naming the emotion and thoughts accompanying the story allows you to become aware of the illusion. It creates the space to extract yourself from the false perception of the situation. It may also cause additional fear of losing the identification with this false self. Allow yourself to embrace compassion towards the process of transforming fear. Going in and telling it “to go” only enforces resistance at another level. Call in support, whether it’s from the formless realm - guides, angels, spirit or it’s a friend who helps to remind you of your practices.
Through stillness and presence, your intuition will communicate with you as a truth, a knowing, a whole-body experience or a loud voice. It’s always “I experienced a fear of death whilst heading towards the cliffs edge [in a car there. It feels alive. accident]. The frozen, thoughtless state I Fear expressed in the psychological was forced into allowed my intuition to directly connect with me in the moment. state will be an experience of heavier For me it translated into a loud voice di- emotions, contracted, speaking within recting me what to do next and I knew I your head and usually is anticipating had to trust it. I experienced a knowing something that has not happened yet beyond all rationalisation and analysis.” but tries to convince you that it will. she tells Believe magazine.
The Comparison Trap U N D E R S TA N D I T A N D O V E R C O M E I T BY SYMMONE GORDON
We are encouraged to be unique, dare to be different contributing our message and ourselves positively in the world. However, this is much easier said than done, and unfortunately almost all of us have been in a situation where we’ve wished to be someone or something we’re not. Understanding why we feel this way and how to stop the comparison trap leads to self acceptance, empowerment and authenticity. Its is a skill that will change your life in a positive way.
own. Put simply, there are two ways to look at how comparison functions. You will either be satisfied with yourself or not, using others and your surroundings to derive a superficial benchmark of aspiration. But, the comparison trap isn’t just doubting yourself and considering other achievements more substantial than your own. Here, we break down forms of comparison trap styles with real life examples.
Comparison can take many forms, it could mean focusing on appearances, achievements, financial positions, relationships, or the education level of someone else and comparing it to your
Determining your self-worth by your achievement
1 Comparison Style #1:
What it is This comparison style is when someone
sees themselves with a heightened sense of self-worth because of the things that they have achieved. This can form addictive attachments, constantly dependant on the external world of things to feel worthy. Real Life Example You’ve received promotion after promotion and are flying high at work - basically, you’re unstoppable. You’re feeling confident and like your sense of self is identified by your impressive achievements and accolades. Then, out of the blue one day, you’re made redundant after an organisation restructure. Fear, loss and devastation surface. Your confidence was based on your achievements, and now that’s been ripped from underneath you.Conflict and doubt surfaces because your sense of self was derived from your achievements and accolades which are now void.
2 Comparison Style #2:
Underestimating your worth What it is This comparison style is when someone sees themselves as inferior to others and self-worth becomes synonymous with heavy thoughts and emotions. Situations triggering non-acceptance continue to be negatively endured. Real Life Example You can’t help but look at a successful colleague wistfully and wish you were as talented, skilled, attractive or as smart as them. They quickly worked their way up the career ladder, are adored in the office and seem to be successful in every task they undertake. Whenever they achieve something great, it makes you feel even more miserable about
yourself and reminds you that you aren’t as good as them.
Overcoming the Comparison Trap
While both examples are very different, are born from the egoic mind and are detrimental to self esteem and personal growth. When comparison occurs, it contracts and diminishes, it divides and conquers self worth. Long term, it can only lead to unhappiness and separation. But, how do we overcome such a strong part of our mind trying to convince us we’re not worthy? To leave comparison behind you must be mindful when it arises. Discern the thoughts in your head, creating the story. For example, ‘I don’t feel successful. Why does everyone else have what they want and I don’t?’ Being aware of when this is happening will help to begin the process of disentanglement. Find and acknowledge the emotion that accompanies this story. Is it hopelessness, anger, disappointment? Observe and be with these emotions by observing the negative thoughts and emotions, and in the stillness of this moment, awareness of why you are seeing yourself in this way can be realised even if it causes discomfort. A direct experience of knowing, aliveness and peace can permeate as resistance to painful emotions dissipate and dissolve. Here lies the opportunity for deep understanding and dissolving of the false identity - all those accumulated labels and experiences that have no truth in who you really are.
How to
Realise Path Purpose Your Personal to
BY SYMMONE GORDON
H
ow many people do you know dread Monday mornings and groan at the mere mention of going to work? Chances are, it’s a whole lot. In fact, a study by Gallop Poll has found that 85% don’t like what they do for a living. With stats like that, it’s
clear that a huge amount of people are unhappy, bored and/or unfulfilled, yet they’re still sailing along in the same job and circumstances without making any changes to improve their situation.
Imagine waking up happy, waking up with the drive to get the most out of the day and feeling alive, excited and fulfilled where work is not really seen as work anymore. While this may seem like a foreign concept right now, it’s totally within your grasp and simply comes down to stepping outside your comfort zone. Fear is a predominant emotion that controls a lot of our decisions; perceived limited opportunities, fear of change, feeling trapped by responsibilities - bills to pay, children to feed and a conditioned life of continuing to “do” driven by habit. Whatever the reason, the story of why it’s safer to stay than to jump, begins in the mind – the internalised jail, resisting change.The story of resistance can compose of negative thoughts so convincing and contracting; things like ‘I am not appreciated’, ‘I am too old to start again’ and ‘I don’t know what to do with my life.’ Once this begins, It’s easy to be swept up into a current where the clarity is drowned by emotional overload. When moving forward into anything unknown, it is natural to feel fear of failure now and it into the future. It’s also easy to extract past negative experiences into the present moment. However, it’s important that you don’t let yourself be controlled by negatives and that you encourage yourself to make decisions from a deep knowing, even if it doesn’t make sense to birth your purpose.
1
Still the mind through meditation. Try taking a bath or sweeping the floor! This can receptivity to heighten the inner guidance – perhaps in the form of an inspired impulse sweeping through, knowingness or even a strong mental thought unrelated to all others. No matter the delivery vehicle, the answer already resides within you.
2
No one can tell you what the next idea or step is with any certainty because they are not walking your path. It is your experience coming from within, although finding resonance or being inspired by the actions or teachings of another can awaken the sleeping magician in you.
3
See this situation as an opportunity for transformation. Something different is being asked to appear in your life and to be expressed through you. Through the confusion and inner conflict, the old is giving way to the new. This confusion can act as a fertile ground to birth creativity and clarity.
4
It doesn’t matter whether you fail or you succeed. This experience is inviting you to organically evolve, where there is no conceptual plan in sight. Discovering your purpose is not a thinking process to solve a problem.
5
Stop what you’re doing for a while. If you can’t let go of the resistance that comes with the prospect of maintaining the mind-numbing job or failing a business, stop and take a deep breath. The relief can give rise to create space for something else to open up in your life.
You can start off this process by embracing acceptance. Acceptance of your current state and that you have 6 Recall your childhood. What did you the power to change and improve find yourself drawn to? Remember who or it. Acceptance opens up awareness through the contrast of what isn’t wanted. what made your heart sing or hobbies you Here are some suggestions to help you achieve a state of mind that will allow you to feel alive, purposeful and bring meaning into your life.
loved exploring and doing. Recognise and remember these past passions without any attachment to force something to reveal itself.
DEALING WITH THOSE WITH A
Scarcity Mindset
BY SYMMONE GORDON
People’s thought processes differ. We know this. We know some people are naturally optimistic while others are pessimistic. Some people view the glass half full, others half empty. Some of us have an open mindset while others remain closed minded. It’s easy to judge people into these simplified categories, but the concepts of scarcity versus abundance are significantly more complex. And when you’re trying to shift someone’s attitude toward abundance, you can find the impact being draining and discouraging. But what does it mean to have a scarcity mindset?
Scarcity is more than a lack of a needed resource. It’s thoughts and emotions influencing how a person lives their life. It could be a multitude of lacking resources, but most people relate their scarcity to time and/or money. These beliefs sound something like: “I don’t have enough money for …“ “I don’t have enough support to …“ “I don’t have the time to … “ With enough of these scarcity thoughts, momentum builds and a whole movie is now in the making, with you as the main actor keeping the script alive. Scarcity equates to
“there is never enough.” While abundance equals “there is always enough.” It’s natural to want to help people embrace a more positive way of being than the negative. But convincing someone that your viewpoint is the best is not what is necessarily needed. So how exactly do you deal with someone living with a scarcity mindset? Simply put, it’s difficult without embodying it yourself and being free of your own “not enough” beliefs. It’s your knowing, your truth radiating from within that “magically” has the impact. You see endless possibilities, they see closed doors. When you share insights or experiences, they chalk it up to good luck as opposed to intuition. And if you offer solutions, they can’t hear them yet. The disparity of beliefs becomes incredibly obvious. Scarcity is a belief and when it’s the focus, doesn’t allow for much else to enter one’s life to prove otherwise. There can be a strong identification with the lack so it forms a false perception of self that meets the world and the people in it. This is where the dominance of the lackful state of being, creates a point that continues to prove its existence. Trying to change someone’s way of looking at the world is draining and can be disempowering. Reaction to their point of view, and
the desire to change it, creates a resistance within you. You risk becoming absorbed in it, and a battle of the minds results. Each time you allow yourself to be drawn into their negative mentality you engage their pattern of belief and vibrational stance. You begin to resist your own intuition. Instead gently accept where they are at and view the situation with open curiosity. Instead of being defensive or righteous, bring the focus back to your own acceptance of what your truth is. Acceptance of what is occurring doesn’t mean you agree, rather you are not offering an argument or defense. In the absence of resistance, abundance flows. Rather than fighting to change their way of thinking, focus on just being present without the need for any form appreciation or validation. Radiance from within creates change in others without words. Those with a scarcity mindset will perhaps remove themselves from your abundant expansiveness until they’re ready to accept it within themselves. The things they aren’t granting themselves permission to expand on become more apparent as conscious awareness enters. And you will be there when they have this inner realisation, signifying an alignment of vibrational compatibility. You can’t control anyone else’s thoughts or actions, but you can focus and be mindful of your own. It can only lead to empowerment. When you feel empowered, you shine in a more peaceful and nonresistant way.
When was the last time you were full of joy and laughed so hard your face hurt? BY ROSE MILLIKEN
As children, joy was a given, a non-negotiable aspect of our life and as natural as breathing. What happened to that joy as we aged? As adults, we think acting joyous is not appropriate. Older people are supposed to be serious and sensible. According to the thesaurus, an alternative word for ‘serious’ is ‘unsmiling’! Is that really what being an adult is about, living a life unsmiling? When clients come see me, they never ask for help in finding joy; they never actually acknowledge that word at all. There is the perception that if you’re unhappy, experiencing relationship or work difficulties, there’s simply no space for joy in your life. This could not be further from the truth. I remind every client that joy is fundamental to our wellbeing. It is our spark, our divine right. Surely, we weren’t put on this earth to be unsmiling?
There is a beautiful saying ‘smile and the world smiles with you’, however equally important to note is that gloom is contagious too. We’ve all met that person who, without saying a word, can dampen enthusiasm and drain the room of joy simply with their energy. Become aware of the way energy radiates like this and impacts not only our own wellbeing, but those around us. This awareness is a great starting point in finding our power to sustain a joyful attitude. Joy should be part of your everyday, as necessary as food, water and breathing. Over time, you can learn to build a connection with your joy and know that it’s there on tap whenever you want it. Throughout your day, try to stay in tune with your energy and use your intuition to ask, ‘what is out of balance?’ and trust that the first thing that come to mind is your answer. When we are too full of anxiety and stress, this
energy will limit your capacity to allow joy, so turn inward and discover where your anxiety is focussed. There is no place for judgment here - simply observe your thoughts and feelings and take note. It is ok to not take yourself too seriously! Another tool to keep joy front-of-mind is to create your own personal ‘joy checklist’. We keep checklists for all manner of things in our life, so why not apply it to discovering your joy so you can refer to in times of need? Make a list of the things that ignite your joy, no matter how small; walking on grass, cuddling the cat, taking a bath. Be creative and add as many things as possible, as the more ideas you list, the more chance you will find just what you are looking for no matter where you are or what is happening. When you find your joy and have learned how to tap into it with ease, never censor yourself. Unfortunately, you may come across people who try to dampen your joy due to their own unhappiness - if they’re unhappy, what right do you have to be full of joy? The answer is, every right. Simply put, if they’re not prepared to be happy with you, then find people who are. Remember, through all of your joy-seeking, that it is ok to go easy on yourself. Even though
in my work I love to help clients look for joy and find ways to heal their life, I can’t live in a constant state of joy either. Like you, I experience the highs and lows, sadness and all range of emotions, but what I am getting better at (and you will too with time) is resilience and an awareness to focus on what is within my control. I regularly consult my joy checklist as a way to stay on track with my emotions and take a few moments to experience joy. For me, this could be as simple as enjoying a peppermint tea while being mindful of the here and now - the beauty of the cup, the smell of the tea, its warmth and taste. In those moments I’m bringing in joy and changing my energy for the positive. The power is within you, so don’t wait or expect others to bring you joy. You don’t have to earn it and should never deny yourself moments of happiness. You have the right to experience joy just as you did when you were a child. Challenge yourself and every day find gratitude and joy in your life. To learn more about joy visit: www.rosemilliken.com.au
Oprah +
Abundance
It’s easy to look at others, envious of their success. Those at the top seem like they have it all, which is something I think we all can be jealous of from time to time. But the reality is that very few of the successful individuals we admire or envy got there without a little grit and hard work. Most came from much humbler beginnings. Oprah Winfrey, easily considered one of the most philanthropic and influential women in America, is on top of the world. Worth nearly 3 billion dollars, Oprah took the reign of mass media and commanded it into an empire. With an extremely popular book club, extremely successful (recently retired) TV talk show, and her
own cable channel, there’s a lot to love … and a lot to get a little green over. But the road to Oprah’s success wasn’t lined with a road of daisies. Spending her first 6 years with her grandmother in the rural south, she was raised in crippling poverty. Oftentimes she’d wear dresses fashioned from potato sacks that her classmates would make fun of. But her grandmother was supportive and caring. She’d later live with her mother who wasn’t as supportive and eventually would send her to Nashville, TN, to live with her father. She was molested during childhood and her early teenage years and became pregnant at 14. She gave birth to a baby boy that died in infancy.
1. Don’t be afraid of the bottom. Oftentimes we picture success as an outcome and forget there’s a middle … and a beginning. Get your foot in the door. The bottom is filled with experience and learning opportunities. Don’t consider a job to be “beneath you.” Instead consider whether or not it will prepare you for future endeavors in success. Chances are, it will. 2. Be willing to seize every opportunity. We already discussed not being afraid of the bottom, and the same goes for taking opportunity. Every opportunity will teach, introduce, or prepare you for something. Seize the opportunity without fear, and instead with excitement.
Her father, Vernon, was strict but encouraging and made her education a priority. She became an honors student, was voted Most Popular, and joined her school’s speech team. She won an oratory contest which landed her a full scholarship to Tennessee State University, where she majored in communications. Her first job in media was at a local radio station, and her journey to a media empire began. While some success stories are worse and some are simpler, Oprah’s allows to us to take away major lessons in gratitude and abundance.
3. Have courage to follow your passion. I don’t believe the quote that tells us if we love what we do, we’ll never work a day in our lives. Not all of our passions pay the bills. But when you find something you’re passionate about, have the courage to follow it. If Oprah can teach us anything, it’s that having determination and passion can get you almost anywhere. Even if you don’t relay your upmost passions in your day job, incorporate it somewhere else. Fueling your passionate fire will bring an abundance of joy that will trickle into every part of your life. 4. Cultivate a determination to overcome adversity. I’ve found that the most fulfilling successes are the ones preceded with adversity. Look at Oprah, she wanted a job in the media, but as a black female, it wasn’t an open door. Abuse, criticism, and discrimination can hinder you from time to time, but don’t let it halt your success all together. If you want something, develop a determination to fight for it.
Going with The Flow Bessie Bardot’s Life Change Experiment By Fleur Chapman
I
magine giving away everything you own, packing up your family and taking off on a life-changing adventure – going with the flow and seeing where you ended up. This might seem drastic, but it is exactly what celebrity couple Bessie Bardot and husband Geoff Barker did, and have never looked back.
Bessie and Geoff had what many would see as ‘it all’ - fame, fortune and success in everything they turned their hands to. They had both been in the spotlight for years as media personalities and award-winning authors. To the outside world, they looked blissfully happy, but their bubbly public personas hid a growing emptiness inside. It was time for a radical shakeup, time to put their faith to the test in what they dubbed the Life Change Experiment. In Bessie’s words, the idea was to “…force us out of our comfortable life and break the chains of habit … [to] blow up our old life to test the theories of spiritual growth and see what grew from the rubble.” In 2010, Bessie, Geoff and their young daughter BlueBelle embarked on a world-wide adventure living what they dubbed “The Flow”; meeting helping and learning from an incredible array of people. They didn’t just want to talk about faith, they wanted to live it authentically and practically. Their new motto became live by faith, find your flow, change your life. The results amazed them, and they were quickly humbled by the support, newfound friendships and overwhelming love they found along the way. From place to place they travelled, wherever help was called for, volunteering to do anything that made their hosts lives easier. Each place was home for anywhere between one week and three months, then they would find another family with whom they could help, grow and share their journey with. They freely gifted one-on-one spiritual and emotional guidance and practical, down-to-earth ‘life-easing’ to help others similarly find their purpose and joy. They have done everything from child-minding, to farming duties, decluttering homes, helping young entrepreneurs set up a business, and easing the weight of day-to-day chores for busy families. In every sense of the word, they have been there to support each family they visited and in return have learned so much themselves. In Bessie’s words:
“The ultimate discovery has been how deeply we are loved and how much we can actually and practically rely on this love in our everyday life. It’s not some woo-woo force in a book or etheric wishful thinking, it is every day, everywhere, utterly transformational and wonderful. When we walk in that power, our creativity and passion is unleashed, and we can truly be an inspired producer, not just a consumer in this world.” Once-cherished wealth is no longer an important factor for Bessie and Geoff and they have transformed into very different people. In their past lives, the never-ending pursuit of happiness and pleasure at any cost nearly destroyed them. It was exhausting and soulsapping. What they discovered on their Life Change Experiment was that material things do not make you happy, but true, lasting happiness comes from a deep spiritual connection. They travelled with little more than a suitcase each and just enough money to buy the essentials, and instead of being stressful, it was liberating.
As Bessie explains: “There is an unexpected bliss about having nothing and being okay with it. A clarity and purity most people never experience because they get caught in the trap of worry and buy into the lie that things make you happy…. I see now that all the little things in life that sparkle and shine, while not always bad in themselves, are really just a distraction to stop us focusing on the true source of joy and fulfillment.” BlueBelle has really blossomed on the journey too, and at just 9 years old has visited over 30 countries and even started her own microbusiness to raise money for an African community. BlueBelle asked the villagers to make special handmade bracelets, which she then sold to help pay for fishing boats, nets and mud huts villages for the local people. The bracelets are now supplied to companies who wish to support a good cause and have a special gift for clients and customers.
Right now, the family have settled in to an apartment in Orange County and Bessie is writing a book about the crazy adventures, lessons, miracles and evolution of their journey. She is also starting a ministry there called ‘Freedom Fighters’ to help women find their true identity and the quiet-strength to weather any storm life sends their way. It is about empowerment, authenticity and purpose, drawing on the wealth of knowledge Bessie learned over the years going with The Flow. They still have an incredible thirst to help, particularly those who may seem like they have it all but remain feeling empty – just as they once did. While face-to-face is beautiful, the magic of technology has opened the door to many more conversations and opportunities through Skype and their Facebook community of like-minded people.
“I like to think we did the hard work of testing this stuff out first-hand, so we could pass it on to others who don’t necessarily have the time or courage to do it themselves,” Bessie said. “No one has to give away everything to find peace. It can be found exactly where you are sitting right now, but the biggest challenge is nurturing growth and continuing a momentum of change. Life change, like a growing seed, needs to be tended to and nourished until it is strong enough to bear fruit.” If you would like to learn more about Bessie and Geoff’s journey, visit their website www.lessonsfromtheflow.com
or seek them out on Facebook @bessie.bardot
Where to next for the family? Only time will tell!