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DECEMBER 2017 $9.95 (incl GST)
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A LUXURY HOLIDAY
A DESIGNE R BAG
Signs
you´re in the wrong environment
AND NEED A CHANGE
A Man
is NOT
A RETIREMENT PLAN
3 5
SIMPLE ways to
Lose Weight WITHOUT DIETING
Tips to ELEVATE
your Personal BRAND
AND PROFESSIONAL PROFILE
Cary Carbonaro
(The Money Queen)
A woman
of purpose
• Finding gorgeous in your paranoia parts • Balanced Busy: It’s time to take control • How to get a pay rise in 5 easy steps www.realwomanglobal.org
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Editor´s note A Note from our Editor and Chief Fabe Keily
On Purpose for a Purpose: Why?
December 2017
for Women in India. Her honesty and openness about her very personal relationship struggles will encourage you that even successful women go through ‘stuff’, but it’s about how we ‘respond’ to what happens to us in life that dictates what our future will be. As women, we know all too well how hard the journey can be at times. Every single day we battle negativity about who we are and what we can achieve both internally and externally. Eric Bailey’s article on ‘3 Signs You’re in the Wrong Environment’ will help you quickly identify you’re in the wrong environment and what you can do about it. The Media constantly barrages us with images that make us feel like we have to be ‘stick thin, have a perfect butt and a flat tummy’ to be gorgeous, but it’s time to stop believing the ‘Hype’ and follow Mandy Hargreaves advice about making peace with the mirror and ‘Find Your Gorgeous’. Our Mission at Real Woman Magazine is to empower, motivate and inspire women to be their best and fulfil their purpose in business, in the workplace and in the community. We are very proudly not a gossip magazine, but rather a positive and empowering Magazine for Every Woman Every Where!
...Fabe 4
Website www.realwomanglobal.org Publisher & Editor Fabe Keily fabe@realwomanglobal.org Editorial Assistant Cindy Marshall Enquiries@realwomanglobal.org Graphic Design Design Box www.templatedesignbox.com Article Contributors Email to fabe@realwomanglobal.org Production Manager Sandra Fernandez Sales Manager Donna Honan Sales Enquiries advertising@realwomanglobal.org Distribution Australia, New Zealand, USA, Virgin Australia Lounges Published by Real Woman Global ABN 37 123 189 488 PO Box 492 Coolum Beach, QLD, 4573 Mob 0411 108 309 E: enquiries@realwomanglobal.org W: www.realwomanglobal.org/realwoman General Enquiries enquiries@realwomanglobal.org Advertisers and contributors to REAL WOMAN Magazine acknowledge they are aware of the provisions of the AntiDiscrimination Act 1977 and the Trade Practices Act 1974 in relation to false and misleading advertising or statements under other unfair practices and the penalties for breach of provisions of those Acts. The publisher accepts no responsibility for such breaches. Opinions expressed by contributors are their own and not necessarily endorsed by REAL WOMAN Magazine or the publishers. All material in REAL WOMAN magazine is copyright and may not be produced in whole or in part without express permission of the publishers.
Official Charity Partner | December 2017 Issue Destiny Rescue
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Are you living your life on purpose for a purpose, or are you letting life pass you by hating the job you’re in and struggling to get yourself out of bed each day? Sometimes we get so busy in the doing, we forget WHY we’re doing it! Recently, someone asked me why we would launch a New Womens Magazine when there are already so many in the marketplace? The answer is simply that I am passionate about connecting and empowering women and the Real Woman Magazine gives us the opportunity to do just that. As we prepared for our launch ‘A Woman of Purpose’, many thoughts arose as to exactly who and what makes up a woman of purpose? She is focussed, strong, determined and empowered while being real, compassionate and unafraid to ask for help to achieve her purpose. Cary Carbonaro is one such woman, having recently been awarded ‘Woman of the Decade in Finance and Leadership’ at the recent World Economic Forum
REAL WOMAN
CONTENTS FEATURES
8 Women in Profile
MICHELLE WINSER, CEO DESTINY RESCUE
Rescuing children from Sexual Exploitation and Slavery
12 Cover Story
A WOMAN OF PURPOSE
Cary Carbonaro (aka The Money Queen)
32 Inspiring Women
TWO SISTERS MAKING A DIFFERENCE
Anita Eddine and Vanessa Saab of Mobilia Group
MINDSET 16 3 SIGNS YOU’RE IN THE WRONG ENVIRONMENT
Are you surrounding yourself with failure and don’t even know it
12
COVER STORY
Cary Carbonaro
18
MASTERING YOUR MIND TO REDUCE STRESS
19
ARE YOU LETTING FEAR HOLD YOU BACK?
22
IS YOUR MIND HOLDING YOUR POTENTIAL HOSTAGE
A healthy, positive mindset results in less stress, longer life and better coping skills 6 keys to overcoming fear for good to unlock your potential
5 Practical tips for dealing with that annoying, self-defeating inner voice
HEALTH 23 MAKING THE INVISIBLE VISIBLE
18
Did you know 3 times more women die of heart disease than breast cancer?
Mastering Your Mind to Reduce Stress
24
3 WAYS TO LOSE WEIGHT WITHOUT DIETING
26
FITPRENEUR
28
EATING WELL WHEN CRAZY BUSY
30
THE TRUTH ABOUT DETOX
Discover secrets to successful and sustainable weight loss
The New Breed of Leader and Why we need them In the workplace Give yourself the best chance of thriving through those busy periods 5 Steps to detoxing to help your body rejuvenate, revitalize and give it a boost
MONEY 36 A MAN IS NOT A RETIREMENT PLAN
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Don’t let excuses stop you from being prepared for your future financially
36
37
ARE YOU TOO BUSY EARNING A LIVING?
40
THE DUAL DWELLING REVOLUTION
41
A Man is Not a Retirement Plan 5
9 Keys to building a better financial future’
Looking for a great investment? Then why not consider a dual income property.
HOW TO GET YOUR BUSINESS FINANCIALLY FIT Practical strategies that will help ensure success in your Business
www.realwomanglobal.org
CONTENTS WORK: BUSINESS/CAREER/LEADERSHIP 43 HOW TO GET A PAY RISE IN 5 EASY STEPS Are you feeling ripped off or overlooked by the pay your employer is giving you?
44
5 TIPS TO ELEVATE YOUR PERSONAL BRAND
46
7 LESSONS OF LEADERSHIP
48
QUALITY OVER QUANTITY IN YOUR NETWORK
50
NO WOMAN IS AN ISLAND
52
OVERNIGHT SUCCESS – FACT OR FICTION
53
SUCCESS IN A MALE DOMINATED WORKPLACE
Discover what it takes to stand head and shoulders above the crowd What I wish I had learnt in my first year of leadership but didn’t
Why you need just 12 people in your network and how to identify them How to overcome loneliness when it comes to positions of leadership as a woman
48
Quality over Quantity in Your Network
5 Tips to help manage your expectations around marketing and PR 10 tips that will help you not just survive but thrive in a male dominated workplace
IMAGE 56 FINDING GORGEOUS IN YOUR PARANOIA PARTS
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No matter your age, size or body shape discover how to step out feeling gorgeous
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3 STEPS TO CREATING A POWERFUL BRAND
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CREATING A GREAT FIRST IMPRESSION
Finding Gorgeous in your paranoia parts
How to present yourself with confidence & credibility
Make a great first impression and get noticed for all the right reasons
LIFESTYLE 61 STRESS MANAGEMENT 101
Learn how to structure your day and your life to reduce stress and increase wellbeing
62
BALANCED BUSY
64
DOES EVERBODY WANT A PIECE OF YOU
December 2017
Have you ever felt overwhelmed as you tried to juggle work, kids and life Stop the struggle and live life the way you want to live it
61
Stress Management 101
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women in profile
Michelle WINSER
Michelle Winser is the CEO of Destiny Rescue, a not for profit organisation dedicated to rescuing children from human trafficking and sexual exploitation. She talks to Fabe Keily about her life purpose, her passion and her plan. •
How long has Destiny Rescue been going and who started it? Destiny Rescue first began in October 2011 and was started by Founder and International President of Destiny Rescue, Tony Kirwan. •
Who is Destiny Rescue and what do they do? Destiny Rescue is an international Christian based non-profit organization, dedicated to rescuing children from human trafficking and sexual exploitation. Our vision is to rescue the sexually exploited and enslaved, restore the abused, protect the vulnerable, empower the poor and be a voice for those who can’t speak up for themselves. We currently operate our various programs in five nations: Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, Philippines, and India. We also have offices in three donor nations: Australia, New Zealand and the United States. We’ve rescued over 2455 children from exploitation and trafficking since 2011, helped keep hundreds more from entering the sex-trade through our various prevention programs, ensured justice for those that have been wronged and have raised awareness to untold numbers. And, we’ll continue to expand to help reach even more children in the days ahead! Destiny Rescue realises that human trafficking is a big problem globally with up to 27 million men, women and children enslaved in its deadly grip today. With that said, we’re determined to set captives free worldwide. As long as children are being sold into the sex-trade, and poverty that drives at-risk children into prostitution exists, Destiny Rescue will be fully committed to fighting for their freedom, restoration and offering them a chance to dream again.
•
How did you become involved with Destiny Rescue? In 2011 I was hearing a lot in the media about parents selling their children into the sex-trade for money. I was horrified. I started researching online, anti-trafficking organisations and came across Destiny Rescue. I liked the name and what they did so booked on a Team Trip to see firsthand. On this trip through Cambodia and Thailand I met the Founder of Destiny Rescue, Tony Kirwan and he shared his vision with me and I was hooked. On returning to the Sunshine Coast, I packed up my house and moved with my husband and son to NSW to promote awareness of Destiny Rescue. •
What is your professional background? Before children I worked in Sydney in the merchant banking sector. After the birth of my children I owned 2 businesses in tourism and after selling my last business in 2011 I joined the Destiny Rescue family. •
Have you ever been on a rescue? What is it like? I have. It is very different to what you imagine and what you see on movies like “Taken”. It is very quiet and under the radar. In saying that it is very adrenalinfilled and nerves with “will she come out,” “will everything go according to plan?” I
don’t think I took a proper breath till it was all over. •
Do you have a favourite moment you’d like to share with us? One of our initial girls we rescued is now an amazing barista in our Destiny Rescue café. Late last year she got married and this year we get to celebrate the news she is pregnant. To watch her grow from where she’s come from to where she is now is amazing and makes it all worthwhile. • What do you do to relax? Lay on the beach and a read a book or sleep. • What’s your favourite meal? Anything Thai. •
Where would you like to see Destiny Rescue in 10 years time? Ideally I would love to be unemployed as that would mean there is no children being trafficked into the sex trade but… I would like Destiny Rescue to be the number 1 organisation that people go to for anything to do with child sex trafficking. To have safe houses in every country, city and state where children can go to bed at night to sleep and not work. • How can we help? Everyone needs to do something. It’s not enough to just know about it. It takes good people like you and I to say it’s not ok. Everyone’s something is different. No matter how big or small – ‘LIKE’ our Facebook page, buy some jewellery, be a voice, sponsor a home, go on a team trip, donate. Just do something.
TO NOMINATE YOURSELF OR A WOMAN TO BE PROFILED EMAIL FABE@REALWOMANGLOBAL.ORG December 2017
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Real { Women
{
Empower girls to become happy, confident Real Women.
Raise boys to be Real Men; who care about, protect, support and respect girls and women. Are warriors for their family but also fight for those less fortunate.
Inspire others to be the best they can be and are the change they want to see in the world.
Real Women make a Difference in the World
Fact is, most of us have been lucky to have been born into the world we know and live in. Of course, we work hard to maintain our desired level of life-style and to provide for our families to make sure that they are safe, healthy and have access to a good education and every opportunity to fulfil their potential and dreams. Now imagine, you had been born into poverty as nearly half the world’s population has been. Gone are all the opportunities we take for granted. Life is purely about survival. Many don’t make it. Many are trafficked and sold or have to sell themselves into the sex industry just to have a roof over their heads and eat. Many are children. How lucky are we that this is not a fate we have to worry about for our children?
Every 26 seconds a child is thrown into a life of sexual abuse.
The average age of a child trafficked is 13, with a life expectancy of 7 years.
The average worldwide cost to buy a human is $90.
More than 3 billion people live on less than $2.50 a day.
’ ’
Destiny Rescue is an Australian-founded, international, Christian-based non-profit organisation with passionate staff and volunteers dedicated to rescue children from human-trafficking and sexual exploitation. We Rescue, We Restore, We Protect, We Empower and are a Voice for these children. Please visit our website for more information.
www.destinyrescue.org
Destiny Rescue Call us: 1300 738 761
giving
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A s of R m K dness
YOU CAN DO TODAY
1. Leave a bouquet of flowers at the hospital — the nurses will know who needs it the most. 2. Make a struggling family's summer by buying them a season pass to the local pool. 3. Buy a co-worker a Cup of Coffee or Cappuccino and change the colour of his or her day. 4. If you are in a long line, invite the person behind you to go first. 5. Shower the pediatric wing of a hospital with $1 coloring books and $2 boxes of new crayons. 6. Hang a sign on a bulletin board that says "Take What You Need" — with tear-off tabs at the bottom for Love, Hope, Faith, and Courage. 7. Bring courtesy back in an instant: Hold the door open for someone. 8. Drop off combs, toothbrushes, and toothpaste at a shelter or a soup kitchen. 9. Curb road rage: Let other cars merge onto the highway. 10. Leave your neighbours a note that tells them how much joy you find in admiring their garden. 11. Put sticky notes with positive messages (e.g., "You look gorgeous!") on a restroom mirror. 12. In low-income families, a baby can spend a day or longer in the same nappy, donate some disposable nappies to your local Salvation Army or St Vincent De Paul
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13. Drop off a Box of chocolates and thankyou note to the brave officers at your local police station. (Given how we carry on about parking tickets, it's important to acknowledge the daily risks taken by the men and women on the force.) 14. Share the wealth: Ask the grocery clerk to apply your unused coupons to another customer's items. 15. Arrange to pay anonymously for a stranger’s breakfast when you see him or her dining alone. 16. Buy a $20 petrol card and give to someone you know needs it. 17. Rekindle your pride in the planet and Pick up trash at a park or a playground. 18. Donate your old professional clothes to an organization, like Dress for Success (www. dressforsuccess.org), that helps women jump-start their careers — and up their confidence. 19. Carry someone's groceries. 20. Pay for a cup of coffee for the person in the line behind you. 21. Bake bread or cookies and deliver the food to a nearby fire, police or ambulance station.
December 2017
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Carry out a Random Act of Kindness without any expectation of a reward, safe in the knowledge that some day someone might do the same for you.
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PRINCESS DIANA
@REALWOMANGLOBAL.ORG 11
www.realwomanglobal.org
cover story
A
Woman of
PURPOSE Annette Densham had the opportunity to catch up with Cary on her recent trip to Australia
Cary Carbonaro (also known as the Money Queen) is America’s top female financial adviser and winner of several global awards including the Women’s Economic Forum ‘Women of the Decade in Finance and Leadership’ An Independent Woman
Right from the word go, award winning personal finance expert Cary Cabonara knew she wanted to be an independent woman. After watching her mother ask her father for money to buy everyday stuff, she vowed she would never be in that position. Cary wanted to have control over her finances. This desire to keep a finger on her financial pulse has driven her career and mission to elevate other women’s financial literacy. You only need to speak to her for five minutes to get a handle of her passion for helping other women. In her lifetime, Cary, also known as The Money Queen, wants to see the pay gap closed and women embracing managing their own finances (and loving it). “Most women are not financially literate – the percentage is so much lower than for men. There are so many strikes against women when it comes to money,” Cary explained. “In the US, women have less of chance of retiring with enough money to live on. Australia, with super, are ahead of the game. Yet, for women across the world there is still a long way to go.
A Passion for Equality
December 2017
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“Women are mobilising now and with strength in numbers, we can move the ball. I want to be a voice and influencer for women. I want to have a bigger voice for women and independence. I want the pay gap closed and to see more women negotiating for themselves.”
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cover story
Cary is certain that as women become a single focused voice, parity will happen … and she is leading the charge with her books, training, public speaking and media appearances. “I will see parity happen. I want to make a huge impact. I have always been an advocate for women even when I was a little girl. But I now have a voice and people are listening to me now,” she said. People are listening to Cary because the lessons she teaches and the information she imparts were earned at the coalface of business and personal successes and
December 2017
working for JP Morgan Chase Bank, Citibank and Lloyd Abbott Mutual Funds “all excellent jobs,” Cary said. “I was making a tonne of money by the time I was 30.” “Then I got derailed. The man I wanted to be my prince charming was a narcissist who wanted to control me. For him, I quit my job, relocated from Manhattan to central Florida (which was the middle of nowhere), away from my family and friends and started from scratch. “This was right after 911 in the middle of a recession so there were no jobs. He cut me off from everyone.” So, began the spiral into mental and physical abuse. For years, she thought he was right about her. That she was fat, ugly, stupid and a horrible person. “I thought it was me,” Cary said. “His abuse eroded my confidence. I thought I was doing something wrong. I was not trying hard enough. He was trying to take away who I was.” But, Cary is not one to roll over, give up and wallow in misery. She acted. She dusted off her CFC (Certified Financial Planner) credentials and started taking clients … and she stopped listening to her ex-husband (oh, yes, he is an ex). “He would start on his tirades and I would think to myself I am not going to let him steal my spirit. This was my mantra to get through the marriage,” she explained. Here’s what many do not get – how does a strong, smart business woman with a strong male figure (Cary’s dad who was a successful banker) let this happen to her? “No one could understand it. I could not understand it, but if it could happen to me it could happen to anybody,” Cary said. “There were a million reasons why I did not leave him but I built a successful business despite this trauma. When I left him, he came after my company, he forced me at gun point to give away my financial security …it took me four years to escape this trap.” “Despite him doing everything within challenges. Sometimes the hardest lessons his power to break me and hundreds of of all are the ones that resonate the longest. thousands of dollars on attorney bills, I got out. I won. I Her Worst got my freedom I have always been and kept my Nightmare Cary knows an advocate for women, company.” Cary this personally has since remarried even when I was a little to her soul mate … because in 2002, the man of her a man who loves girl. But I now have a dreams turned out and supports her. voice and people are to be her worst This fight for listening to me now. nightmare, which her life fuelled lasted 10 years. Cary’s desire to After a help other women prestigious career in the banking industry, avoid what happened to her.
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A Global Influence
She became an author. Cary’s book The Money Queen’s Guide for Women Who Want to Build Wealth and Abolish Fear is a practical tool giving women of all ages no nonsense down to earth information on how to become their own money queen.
I’m proud of building up a financial planning practice from $0 to $1m on top of all the things that happened to me. The Amazon bestselling book also serves as a cautionary tale, letting women know sometimes bad things happened and you must prepare for it. She has won awards and been appointed an Ambassador for the CFP® Board, one of only 50 in the United States. Cary is the recipient of the prestigious “2016 Investment News Women to Watch” award and was named “Winner of the 2016 Woman’s Choice Award for Financial Advisors.” In 2017, she was named the American Heart Association’s Go Red for Women Honouree for Long Island, New York and as well as receiving an Award from the Women’s Economic Forum in New Delhi, India for “Women of the Decade in Finance & Leadership” The media love her – she is the go to finance expert sought after by all major TV stations and newspapers including CNN, Bloomberg, FOX News, Time Magazine, Money Magazine, the Wall Street Journal and the list goes on. But what is more meaningful for her is connecting in person with her audience. She speaks across the globe about her passion and her mission – educating and empowering women to take ownership and responsibility for their finances. Ask her what she is most proud of and it may surprise you. When Cary was in college, she was the founder president of a sorority. “I felt women in college in the 80s were not safe. It was the era of AIDS, date and campus rapes. Lots of girls were lost and unsafe. I created a place for women where they felt comfortable away from their home. Thirty years later it’s still going strong with the same philosophy,” Cary said. She’s also proud of the work she has done and is doing for women and wage parity. Her next big project is to write another book. Despite her many successes and accolades, Cary is adamant she is only just getting started. Watch this space.
Cary’s TOP TIPS Cary has some advice for women who want to get ahead financially. You may not like it because it is so sensible and logical but sometimes we need to hear these things a few times to sink in.
1. Always spend less than you make – This is a no brainer but why are we not doing this? Cary said it is like when you go out to dinner and you are watching your weight but still have desert. You know you should say no. It is the most basic thing in the world and the most precious advice. 2. Don’t be afraid of the stock market - A lot of women are afraid because they would rather hold cash than invest in the market because it goes up and down. It is about diversity and putting all your eggs in one basket … and cash does not grow if it is not invested. 3. Credit Cards are not free money – What? If you cannot afford to pay for it, you do not buy it. Or if you can’t pay off the card in full at the end of the month, don’t get a credit card. 4. Learn financial literacy for yourself and your kids - If you knew what you know now, you would not have done it. The younger we learn financial literacy, the less chance there is of making serious financial mistakes… and it is never too late to learn. Financial success is based on getting rich slow - anyone can get rich slow. Get rid of the impulse of I want it now or I need it now.
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www.realwomanglobal.org
mindset
3 signs
you’re in the wrong environment and need a change
H
ere’s the more important question: Are you surrounding yourself with failure without even knowing
it?
Let me tell you something about the Australian mountain ash tree. They’re the second-tallest trees in the world, almost as tall as the redwoods in California. But believe it or not, these enormous trees all come from a seed about 3 millimeters across. Here’s the thing: When an Australian mountain ash seed is put in the wrong climate, or in the wrong soil, or in the wrong weather conditions, it remains JUST a tiny seed. The magnificent tree remains locked within, never to see the light of day.
December 2017
Only when the environment is right will the mighty tree sprout from the seed. And when they DO sprout, they can grow for hundreds of years, reaching more than a hundred meters tall. And that’s my message for you today. For many people, the problem isn’t that you’re NOT great – you’re simply in the wrong environment!
3 SIGNS YOU’RE IN THE WRONG ENVIRONMENT
Here’s a quick checklist to see whether your surroundings are actually binding you to failure: #1: You, or the People Around You, have a “Blaming” Mindset.
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When things don’t go the way you want, do you tend to look for someone or something to blame? If you do, then guess what – it’s an attitude that prevents you from achieving big things. #2: You, or the People Around You, “Hate” Certain Things. Now, it’s normal to dislike certain things. But when you HATE things – so much that you wish something BAD would happen to it – then it means you’re focusing on precisely the wrong things in life. #3: You Take Criticism Badly. When someone criticizes you or your work, do you take it badly? Do you get hurt, or get defensive, or get angry? Do you start wondering whether you should be doing something else?
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Are you feeling like a failure in life? Here’s the more important question: Are you surrounding yourself with failure without even knowing it?.
mindset
If you do, then it’s a sign that you rely too much on other people’s approval – and that’s going to keep you from achieving your goals in life! Make no mistake: When you’re in the wrong environment, you tend to stay STUCK in the wrong environment until something changes. And if you’ve been stuck in an environment of negativity and failure for a long, long time… then it’s time for a CHANGE! Now, let me do a quick throwback to tell you what it’s like to be in the RIGHT environment…
THE POWER OF BEING IN THE RIGHT ENVIRONMENT
Some of you might already know my story. When I was young, I had problems with my joints. I wanted to be a pro basketball player, but all the doctors told me the same thing: “You’ll never have a career in sports.” Now here’s the thing: Back then, I may have been down and out. I may have been abandoned and adopted. I may have been stuck in a bad neighborhood. But I had one thing going for me: A pair of foster parents who loved me, who nurtured me, and who surrounded me with the RIGHT environment at home. It was an environment of hope, responsibility, love, confidence, and strength. I didn’t use my joint problems as an excuse to give up and try something else. I didn’t HATE the doctors for telling me I had no future in sports. And I didn’t lose hope.
I simply thanked my doctors for doing their jobs, went home, and got right to work. I played basketball for hours every day. I devised a playing style that didn’t put too much pressure on my joints while still letting me play on both ends of the floor. And I never gave up. I went on to play for 14 great years in the National Basketball League. Looking back, here’s what I’ve learned: All it took for me to prove my doctors wrong was the GOOD environment I had at home. That’s all it took. And it altered the course of my entire life. Here’s another thing: When I was young, my doctors ALSO told me I wouldn’t amount to much because I had a learning defect. I had problems with reading. Looking back, I think I may have had mild dyslexia, and it made things REALLY tough. Again, all I had was the right environment at home. Not only did I learn to read, but I even wrote a couple of books, and now I’m traveling the world as an activational speaker, youth mentor, and business coach. Here’s my message: If you’re stuck in an endless cycle of failure, mediocrity, and frustration, and if you’re constantly surrounded by negativity and hate and blame, I've got three words for you:
CHANGE THE CHANNEL!
When you’re watching TV and you don’t like what’s on, you don’t sit around complaining about it, right? You change the channel until you find a show you DO like!
And that’s what you need to do in your life right now. You’ve got to get rid of the “channels” that make you feel like a failure, and tune in to channels that propel you closer to your goals! And that means you’ve got to do three things: #1: Stop Blaming. Whenever you blame someone or something for your bad luck, it means you’re secretly waiting for that someone or something to save you. Don’t wait to be saved: Instead, take responsibility for your situation! #2: Stop Hating. Understand that there are things beyond your control in life. Forget about those things, and focus your attention and energy on the things you CAN change! #3: Stop Waiting for Approval. Stop waiting for someone to pat you on the back. In fact, stop talking to yourself and convincing yourself you’re “doing fine.” Instead, just work, work, and work. Let your results be your motivation! So right now, change the channels in your life. Look at your life right now, and ask yourself: What’s the one problem that’s keeping me from becoming successful? Remember, you don’t need to keep watching the same show in your life. In fact, you’ve got to realize you’re the SCRIPTWRITER. In your life, YOU write the script, YOU run the show, and YOU decide the happy ending. So change the channel to a better life. Stop feeling like a failure, and become the winner you were made to be.
Eric Bailey has been ranked on Google as the World’s #1 Motivational Speaker. He is the leading authority on understanding and stimulating human potential for individuals, businesses and organisations. Eric has spoken to over 3 million people in 11 different countries around the world including companies like Qantas, Pepsi, Microsoft, Toshiba, McDonalds just to name a few. To find out more go to www.ericbaileyglobal.com
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www.realwomanglobal.org
mindset
Mastering your mind
to reduce stress
H
ow much attention do you give your body? Does eating well, doing sit-ups and running kilometres mean you truly care about yourself? Or are you pursuing all of this to check your obligatory self-care box? Don’t get me wrong fitness and good health are worthy goals bringing multiple benefits including combating ill health, diseases, improving moods and boosting energy. But let’s not kid ourselves, it is your mind that is your master. Your mind will decide if you will indulge in procrastination, self-sabotage, and avoid all that is “best for you”. Most women are conscious they “need” to strive for mental health and wellbeing, however, is this not just one extra item on the endless to-do list of the already stretched woman?
The Link Between Stress and Mindset
Stress is an inevitable in every woman’s daily life, irrespective of her working fulltime part time or bringing up children? Her life is filled with daily demands from every direction, least of which are the ones she places on herself, to be more, to do more, and to have more. It seems almost every woman is constantly juggling and craving better results. And when she is unable to achieve her desired results, she is quick to turn on herself and take the blame for not being perfect, for not being good enough and question why she is not satisfied with her accomplishments and her life as it is. If a healthy, positive mindset results in less stress, longer life spans and better coping skills during hardships, stressful times or depression, why would you contemplate not mastering your mind?
1. Embrace a useful meaning for life experiences Every story has 3 sides, yours, mine and the truth. You will always interpret everything through your personal lens, drawing on your beliefs, values and experiences as do other people. This means it’s possible to consider alternate meanings for experiences. So, challenge yourself: • What meaning can I give this situation that is more helpful and resourceful to me? Perhaps your colleague’s intention is not to outdo you, rather to mask her own self-doubt. Consider how you could change your interpretation to support a win-win outcome? As you change the meaning you assign a situation; you expand your mind to embrace endless possibilities. 2. There is no failure only feedback Thomas Edison regarded his lightbulb as “an invention with 1,000 steps,” rather than 1000 failures. Every time you interpret a situation as unsuccessful, you chip at your self- confidence and resist trying again. What if rather than stumble, you challenge yourself: • What could I learn here? • How can I do even better next time around? By learning from your experience, you can grow and improve and enhance your self-confidence because you are learning and trying again. 3. Know your values and use them to steer yourself Do you struggle most to accept or engage in a situation when it doesn’t “sit right”? This awareness is your internal compass that you are not acting in alignment with your values. So when you say you value family above all else, and your career takes you away from home you will experience conflict. Similarly, success is likely to elude you, when you value freedom most. Challenge yourself:
• Do I know what my highest values are? • Am I living in alignment with my values? When your values are clear, it means actions and decisions will be easier; choices are less challenging, and inner conflicts can be minimised. 4. Your actions create your results Have you ever lost weight, reached your goal then had to start again? Do you wonder why you keep repeating the pattern? You repeat your pattern because every action gets you a result, even though it may not seem that way, you are getting something for your actions. Perhaps you enjoy being noticed every time you lose weight, or it gives you something to focus on. Challenge yourself: • What am I getting for the actions I take? • What is it allowing me to avoid/ do? Could you be avoiding that job interview, asking for a raise? Focussing on your diet keeps you safe, and you can remain exactly where you are without risks. There is always a result so change your action to get the result you tell yourself you want. 5. Helping others helps you and provides perspective We are fulfilled when we are growing and making a contribution to others. Reaching out to help someone allows you to see that your challenges are not as overwhelming as you think. When you are open to it, you will realise that things could always be worse. As you want to help someone else, someone else wants to help you – All you need to do is ask. Choosing to focus on others, gives you perspective and the courage to address your challenges. You always have a choice, and every time you exercise your “choice muscle,” it becomes stronger and works better for you the next time around. If your goal is to live a life of passion, enjoyment and success is possible when you master your mind - what would you choose?
Judith-Rose Max is a Life Coach & Strategist keeping you on target for achieving excellence in all areas of your life. She works with you to seize the opportunity and overcome whatever may have stopped you from scoring goals in the past and support you to smash through every single goal with a smile on your face. For more Info call Mob 0404 702 054 or Go to www.happyparenting.com.au
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There are 5 key steps you can take to start to master your mind
mindset
Are you letting fear hold you back?
6 steps to overcome it!
A newborn baby has only two innate fears; falling and loud noises. Every other fear over our lifetime we learn. What’s interesting is when we question, “Is this fear beneficial?”
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s humans we are wired by default to survive, live & multiply. Hence, fear is a hard wired powerful protection instinct of the human brain, to carry out this default setting. But have we taken it too far? Are we limiting our potential, success and ultimate happiness due to unnecessary & irrational fears? The “Little Albert” experiment done in 1920 exposed a 9 month old baby boy to various live furry animal stimulants as well as masks, (with and without beards). The initial response was neutral to all stimuli. “Albert” was then given a white rat to play with. He was quite content to do so. Once, directly after the boy was given the rat, a loud sound was made which startled little Albert and he began to cry. The next time the boy was given the rat, the sound was repeated. Again the boy began to cry. The following time when the boy saw the rat being offered to him he began to cry even without the sound. Each progressive time the boy was presented with the white rat, (minus the sound), he became deeply distressed. Over time his fear had generalised to most fluffy creatures, coats and beards. With this traumatic experiment we see how the brain’s protective instinct has firstly
attached the fear of loud noise, (auditory), to the white rat, (visual). Secondly we see how it has generalised the initial specific incident of the white rat, to most other furry creatures even fur coats, hats & beards. We can see from young Albert that our brains need to attach the sense fear to something, (this may or may not be the actual source). Hence we may be afraid of something that has no potential to harm us. Also when we generalise our fears as Albert went from one specific white rat to all furry creatures, even coats, hats and beards, we dramatically limit our environment to feel safe, secure, fulfilled and happy. In todays terms we may see that Jane at the age of 7 decided to do a concert for some school children in the playground. They in turn laughed and teased her which made Jane feel completely embarrassed, rejected, hurt & like she’d failed. Growing up Jane generalised that one school incident to all performances, appraisals & interviews. Shying away from any promotion opportunities or stepping out into new realms for fear of rejection, embarrassment, failure & hurt. This left Jane desperately wanting more out of life yet stuck in fear of “what if”. There are several ways to “deconstruct” our irrational & un-serving fears from our
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Neural Programming. One of which is simply to move through them. Step1. From a nurturing perspective seek to understand what that fear is trying to give you, (it will be attempting protection from something). Step2. Make a list of the worst things that could happen if you went ahead anyway. Step3. Analyse the list, is it really that bad? Step4. List all the good things that could possibly happen if you went ahead. Step5. Take my rocking chair test: Imagine you are well into your 80’s sitting on a porch in your rocking chair. If you didn’t step out, would you have regrets now? Step6. Ask yourself, “Is there anything I need that would help me to move through this fear?” (e.g. courage, wisdom, love, self belief etc). Then imagine someone you know of who has this trait. Visualize them giving more than you need to you. Breathe and feel what it would feel like if you had that gift right now. Now, just give it a go, you are more than worth it!
Simone Leslie is a Master Neuro Strategist who has presented to millions over two decades through national television and live events. Simone can help re-program your brain to get you the outcomes & life you want, be it health, wealth creation, relationships, business or career. For more information email Simone at simone@simoneleslie.com or go to www.simoneleslie.com
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Download these ebooks today thinkmoney.com.au V
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free
WEBINAR SERIES
mindset
Is your Mind
holding hostage? your potential
Here are five tips for transforming your self-limiting myths into new, positive thought habits:
1. Become ‘thought-aware’: Critically observe your thinking. Invite your wise, inner self to hover on your shoulder for a few days to observe & listen. Be open and honest with yourself. Get to the core of your restrictive beliefs and personal fears- we all have them. What thoughts are preventing you from moving you toward the professional, you really want to be? 2. Identify & Acknowledge: Which of your thought patterns are negative, self-limiting, judgmental, or defensive? These will be the thoughts that are, as we say, ‘messing with your life’, because literally, what you think often enough is what you’ll experience. Fleeting, odd thoughts aren’t in danger of taking hold, but those that you’ve repeated over and over to yourself for years, will be shaping your reality. Like it or not they are a part of you, so don’t deny them, just decide to make fresh choices. Ask the troublemakers to take a seat at the back of the auditorium for a bit. 3. Transform your thinking: This step is your event horizon, where important change takes shape. Make note of each ineffective thought pattern
identified above and work to shift it to something positive and constructive. Ensure that you make the strategic thought selections that will produce the feel-good, rewarding outcomes that you’re looking for. (Example: “I can’t” could become “I will, watch me!”) Mentally rehearse your new thinking over and over again as an affirmation of your new attitude on each topic. 4. Live it: When the occasion arrives, enact what you’ve rehearsed. Instead of the old belief system holding you back, your new thought-choice will immerse you in a brand new, more self-fulfilling experience. 5. Practice and Persevere: Shifting thought patterns that have been with you for a lifetime will require a strong will, continual experimentation and persistence, but the change WILL happen in time. Making the effort will start you on the path to living a work-life of full expression and move you toward achieving the potential that you see for yourself. Replacing the negativity with possibility and positivity creates space for a sense of freedom, openness, hope, and inspiration. Imagine the satisfaction you’ll feel as you begin working with a new sense of purpose, courage, and heightened potential. Enjoy!
Muffy Churches is an Executive Coach, Keynote Speaker, Leadership Specialist and Counsellor. She is the author of Coach Yourself, A 7-Step Guide to Personal Fulfilment (Love & Write Publishing) and Director of Beyond Focal Point, based in Sydney. She has extensive experience in inspiring and initiating positive behavioural change in clients around the world. For more information visit www. muffychurches.com, or contact muffy@muffychurches.com
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o you ever notice an annoying, self-defeating, inner voice that stirs first thing Monday morning- one that seems to keep your confidence, positivity, and drive on a tight leash? If so, there’s every chance that the nature of your ‘thinking’ is holding your professional potential prisoner, but know that you’re not alone. Most of us experience this irritating phenomenon to varying degrees. There are a zillion possible self-limiting thought addictions plaguing any one of us at work. Common examples are, “I can’t, I shouldn’t, I’m not capable enough, It’s too hard, I’m a terrible presenter, I’m afraid to, or I’m not worthy.” We’re so used to our habitual thinking that we rarely notice which thought patterns are working for us and which are acting against us. These personal myths have their origins in our childhood but they lack in truth, and sadly over the years, they become engrained in our mind as belief system and default mode, until… we learn to shift them. Enhancing self-awareness by examining our thinking allows us to take the necessary steps to weed out the troublemakers. Once exposed as fraudulent, their hold on us weakens and we can begin the work to shift them.
health
Women’s Hearts:
Making the Invisible Visible The Number One Killer
The push to bring about genuine and entrenched equality for women is a war often fought on multiple fronts. Workplace equity, educational equity, women’s right to make key decisions about their own bodies, health, including critically heart health; these are all areas in which the aims of gender equity and female empowerment continue to encounter barriers. Yes, recent decades have seen advances made in most areas, but these barriers persist. We see evidence of such inequalities daily across most areas of society and this includes the identification, treatment and prevention of heart disease. Heart disease is the number one killer of Australian women, claiming the life of one woman every hour of every day. That’s 24 female lives lost today, tomorrow and the next day. On every indicator, from deaths, to hospitalisations through to prevalence of clinical risk factors, general awareness of heart disease, the list goes on, women fare worse. The fact is women are physically and hormonally different to men. They can even have babies; all of which provides a different set of challenges when it comes to heart disease. Yet women are seemingly ‘invisible’ when it comes to research and clinical studies. This can lead to misdiagnosis and their serious health condition being effectively invisible, until it’s too late.
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Symptoms of Heart Disease
Heart disease and heart attack can present in women with different, or subtler, signs and symptoms which means they are often not recognised as needing immediate action. For example, we know that many women experiencing a heart attack will not have the classic chest pain symptoms. Symptoms found more commonly in women are jaw, shoulder, neck and back pain, but only one in four women are aware of at least one of these. Women are also less likely to see the symptoms as representing a life-threatening emergency than men.
This then impacts the time it takes to diagnose and treat women once they present to emergency departments. Although almost twice as many men than women are admitted to hospital after a heart attack, the annual deaths for men and women are similar. When admitted to hospital, many of the standard heart related procedures are not administered on women in the same timeliness that they are for men. Women are also less likely to be referred to and to complete a program of cardiac rehabilitation after a heart attack (which would reduce their chances of having a second one). This disparity also extends to a gender bias in research. For decades now, women have been largely under-represented in cardiovascular research including the clinical trials that are used to determine the best way to diagnose and treat the condition; so much of the evidence is based on data in men, and then extrapolated to women. The participation of women in research is complicated by issues related to comorbidities, age, pregnancy and child bearing.
Raising Awareness
It’s a startling statistic to many when they hear that Australian women are actually three times more likely to die of heart disease than breast cancer, but awareness of heart disease as a leading health issue facing women is low. Through the Heart Foundation’s annual Making the Invisible Visible campaign, the organisation is working to turn all of this around. Its campaign has three aims: To raise awareness that heart disease is the single leading cause of death in Australian women To raise the awareness of the warning signs and how they differ for women as opposed to men To garner the support of the medical fraternity and the wider community to get on board and support this worthy cause to save the lives of the women they love. Women after all are the heart of our community. They are business owners, valued employees, carers and providers.
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What affects them in a significant way can have a profound effect on the wider community. It’s essential then that we make this invisible killer more visible. Show your heart, share it, donate to the Heart Foundation and encourage others to do the same… by doing so you will be protecting the hearts of the women you know and love.
Actions to take:
1. Have a heart health check 2. Learn the warning signs/symptoms 3. Support our Making the Invisible Visible campaign by: 4. Drawing a heart on your body 5. Taking a photo or video and sharing it on social media using the #womenshearts 6. Encouraging your friends and family to do the same 7. Donate online at www.invisiblevisible.org.au
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health
3 Ways to Lose Weight
Dieting Doesn’t Work
The evidence is overwhelming that our current approach to dieting doesn’t work and actually perpetuates the obesity problem. 96% of people who lose weight by following a diet regain it all again – and more – within two years. Many studies show that a history of dieting is actually one of the strongest predictors of future weight gain. People are dieting themselves fat! It seems that the more specific diet plans we have to follow, the fatter we are becoming. Restraint and restriction are the problem, not the solution. Sure, it defies logic that simple, straightforward eating plans that offer a balanced nutritional intake won’t work. And they do work – until they don’t. Diets fail to consider the complexities of the human condition. Nearly 80% of our decisions are emotional, not rational. We want autonomy, creativity, control, self-direction, self-determination and free will. We aren’t automatons or cogs in a machine. We won’t just do as we are told all the time. We can’t. It’s not in our nature. Yet that’s precisely what diets try to make us do. Diets mess with our heads as much as they mess with our bodies. If I was trying to invent a new type of torture, starving someone while simultaneously messing with their mind and destroying their body’s ability to function efficiently seems like a pretty effective method. What’s more, tricking people into believing that this will be the last time they’ll have to endure the torture (when of course, it isn’t) and making them pay for the privilege each time, makes it even more effective! So how do you lose weight without dieting… or indeed any of the often-touted but totally incorrect methods the weight loss and diet industries keep peddling us over an over again? What do you do instead?
Embrace Hedonic Adaptation.
So what ends up happening with the typical person struggling with their weight when they’re trying to follow a traditional diet or healthy eating plan, where they eat a wide variety of food? They end up craving even more foods, simply because they’re being exposed to so many different types of new, healthy foods all at the same time. For example, how often have you tried some new diet food, really loved it and then just wanted more and more and more. Or even
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worse, been exposed to the ‘diet’ version of a particular type of food, and then just ended up craving the ‘non-diet’ version and eating that instead? The fact is that the more different types of food you eat the more different types of food you crave – it’s a vicious circle – one that most traditional diets and healthy eating plans are happy for you to keep going round and round on time and time again. Today, people struggling with their weight need to be exposed to a smaller variety of foods, not wider. This is what hedonic adaptation is all about - being exposed to the same sorts of meals over and over again and thus reducing the amount of pleasure that food brings you to a fairly constant and stable level that’s not over the top.
Eat More To Weigh Less
Everyone thinks you need to eat less to lose weight. You don’t. You just need to eat better. Studies show that the volume of food we eat trumps calories every time. Furthermore, researchers from the University of Adelaide have discovered that if you’ve been overweight for a significant period of time, you may actually need to eat more than someone who has never been overweight because the stomach nerves which send fullness signals to the brain when you are eating appear to become permanently desensitized after a high-fat diet is consumed for along period of time. This means you need to eat more food before you feel the same degree of fullness as someone who has never been overweight. Now it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you eat a bucket size pile of chocolate you will gain a lot more weight than if you eat a bucket size pile of watermelon. So the “trick” to losing weight and not feeling hungry is to eat more food – but food that is high in volume but low in calories. Foods that fill this brief include lettuce, tomato, strawberries, broccoli, salsa, grapefruit, vegetable soup, rockmelon, milk, carrots, oranges, yoghurt, blueberries, apples and, of course, water.
NOT Everything in Moderation
“Everything in moderation” is a nice little theory… if you haven’t actually been emotionally attached to food, the way most
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people who’ve really struggled with their weight are. But this nice little theory (like a whole bunch of others the diet and weight loss industries force-feed us day after day) doesn’t often translate well into reality. Instead the trick is to distinguish between your “Secret Weight Loss Weapons” and your “Weapons of Mass Destruction.”
Secret Weapons
Your weapons of mass destruction are things that you cannot eat in moderation; you cannot have in the house, because you’ll eat the whole packet or whole boxes or whatever. You just can’t eat them in moderation. Once you pop you can’t stop… so don’t start! Some foods won’t be everything in moderation for foods for you. Work out what they are. Your secret weight loss weapon foods are the healthy foods that fill you up but don’t fill you out? What healthy foods could you eat every day that fill you up but don’t fill you out? Eat these – but not in moderation. Eat them every day. Sometimes twice!
Be A Genius
Einstein said that insanity was “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”. One of the most amazing things about people who lose weight only to regain it all again later is that they often go back to using the same method that they used before because “it worked”. Clearly it didn’t work or they wouldn’t be overweight again! Other people just keep trying one diet after another, hoping to find one that they can stick to forever. They spend their entire lives as slaves to one diet or another, but not questioning the very notion that the whole diet system is the thing that is flawed, rather than just the individual diets themselves. Stop the insanity! Become a genius! Escape the dieting hamster wheel to nowhere before it’s too late. Stop dieting and start losing weight today! Sally Symonds is the best-selling author of “50 Steps to Lose 50kg … And Keep It Off” and director of the online “Love Your Weight Loss” system. You can find more about Sally at www.sallysymonds.com
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g n i t e i D t Withou
health
THE NEW BREED OF LEADER
F
itpreneurs demonstrate a real blend and dedication to health, wellbeing and running a business with intelligence and efficiency. They plan their week, connect with their teams and share the importance of personal and commercial accountability combined. Without exception. It has nothing to do with age - but everything to do with experience and purpose; to being and delivering their personal best.
Your Largest Asset
The largest asset we have inside an organisation is our people, and the culture we create does not come from the paper it’s written on but the actions of those in charge. From any level of report to the CEO. The Australian workplace Wellness survey stated the challenge for employers is to take a strategic and measurable approach to human capital. Starting with the leaders themselves. As businesses are squeezed more by technology, less time, virtual teams, shift
December 2017
work, automation and a lack of personal connection for people and their jobs - it’s more crucial than ever to bring strong leadership demonstrating a personal approach to integrating work life choices that are positive, effective and encourage a sense of purpose in and out of office hours. We must walk the talk.
How to Get your Mojo Back
It’s never too late to get your mojo back as a manager. • Identify people inside your organisation that clearly demonstrate clear headed personal accountability - tap into them and make them part of your dream team to lead by example • Ask yourself do you know your staff, are you connecting with energy and presence or always too busy and stressed out? What messages are you giving with your presentation and behaviour • Look at ways you can run your winning week with purpose and integrate the 5 key pillars of performance (health and fitness, admin, productivity, friends/ family and ME time) • Consider being a role model for your company - make time for your own physcial and mental wellbeing, choose healthy nutritious food that fuels your mind and your body, start looking at ways to support you and your teams
to have better use of time, space and resources in all areas of life.
Lead by Example
If lack of productivity, no shows and sick leave are crippling organisations (as research suggests) - the fastest way to start creating change is for management themselves to start leading by example. We need more fitpreneurs inside organisations who can clearly show that creating time for health and fitness, admin, productivity, friends/family and ME time should be fully integrated into any given week. Whether we like to acknowledge it or not senior management and their actions create the culture. How we lead, communicate and demonstrate gets filtered through the organisation whether big or small. It is not about doing push ups in a board meeting or setting up lunch time tennis for the entire company - but rather leading with a clear sense of personal purpose, business intelligence and a focused approach. Leaders who shine never stop learning - they continue to evolve, to share and develop skills that empower energy, experience and excellence in all they do - as an individual and for the business. The Fitpreneur knows the importance of bringing both business and personal vitality to life for lasting results.
Nikki Fogden-Moore specialises in private coaching for high achievers to bring business and personal vitality to life. Engaging in next level thinking to create harmony and purpose with The Vitality Road Map®. She runs tailored corporate vitality programs and has been running leadership and private retreats for over a decade internationally. You can reach her on nikki@thevitalitycoach.com.au or www.thevitalitycoach.com.au
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d There’s a new bree ey of leader in town. Th y are healthy, wealth and wise. They have a sense of energy, , are well presented mentally agile and dynamic - in both ess personal and busin the acumen. They are Fitpreneur.
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health
usyness. It has become the new normal. While periods of being chaotically, crazily, intensely under the proverbial pump is a part of life, the constant and chronic overwhelm leaves little time to (properly) rest and nourish our body, soul and mind. Which is why it is important to eat well, to give yourself the best chance getting through the busy and avoid collapsing in a heap when you make it to the weekend or annual holiday. Here are a few suggestions on how to eat well when crazy busy.
Limit sugar
It may sound obvious to those of us that have taken lessons from That Sugar Film. But when under duress, the sugary cravings can creep in to offer a quick energy and mood boost. A sugar crash will follow, putting the body under more stress and desiring more sweet stuff. Choose a nourishing source of sweet, like sliced banana and berries with plain yoghurt. Fresh, whole foods like this offer minerals and vitamins essential to supporting the nervous system and adrenal glands, while providing anti-oxidant and anti-inflammatory phytonutrients needed when life is hectic.
Limit alcohol
Drinking each night is a common vehicle to unwind but processing alcohol is an extra burden on our liver which, in stressful crazy-busy times, is already working hard to process things like stress hormones. It sounds boring, but choose water. And if you are partial to a tipple, limit
how many serves you have, keep it to one evening on the weekend, and savour the drink as opposed to slamming it down mindlessly.
Limit heavily processed and junk food
The easy option when busy is to grab food and go. Unfortunately, fast food, despite its wonderful convenience, will only make it harder to work effectively, stay focused, and can even negatively affect the quality of sleep. And sleep we need to power on well through the next day! We’ve some tips for eating well on the run but one critical guideline we can all take into the world of buying food on the go, is choosing food or drink with an ingredient list comprised of simple, real foods and seasoning, avoiding those with words you do not understand.
Plan nourishing meals
It will only take a few minutes on the weekend to plan, and the benefits are worth it. Before you head to the market or supermarket, get a list of ingredients to buy for 4-5 key meals you can easily whip up in a flash or create in bulk (creating leftovers for anther dinner or lunches along the way) Then, put aside an hour or two on the weekend, and knock up some meals to store in the fridge/freezer that you can grab for dinners or take with your for lunches. Think meals made en masse, like salads, soups, casseroles, or a frittata!
Have good food on hand
or the glove box of the car – easy to eat whole foods. Nuts, seeds, and fruit are a great go-to. Have a spoonful of 100% nut butter for that mid-arvo pick-me-up, either on its own or with sliced apple or carrot sticks. Keep portions of hummus on hand with your favourite crunchy veg (snow peas are great – no chopping required!). If you have a little breathing room in the schedule, whip up some homemade sweet or savoury treats like Nutty Banana Bread Balls, Peanut Butter Chocs, Mocha Coconut Bites, boiled eggs, or Thai Chicken Balls which can be found on the website www.thatsugarfilm.com
It’s okay to ask for help
If you are feeling overwhelmed, and the demands and pace of life feel too much, perhaps ask for a helping hand from those around you, whether it be your partner, relative or friend, or a colleague when at work. You may also consider chatting with a healthcare practitioner or lifestyle coach, who offer counsel, and help identify what is driving your busyness, how to choose where to prioritise your time and pick your battles wisely, and integrate more structure to create a little more space and control in your day to day. It’s important to place priority on eating real, whole and nourishing foods. Not just for seemingly unforeseeable later in life disease that may prevail, but for everyday mood, energy and function.
Keep in stock – whether in the kitchen pantry or fridge, the desk drawer, your bag,
Angela Johnson (BHSc Nut. Med.) is a writer and contributor for That Sugar Film by Damon Gameau. THAT SUGAR FILM started as one man’s journey to discover the bitter truth about sugar. Damon Gameau embarked on a unique experiment to document the effects of a high sugar diet on a healthy body, consuming only foods that are commonly perceived, or promoted to be ‘healthy’. For more information or recipes go to www.thatsugarfilm.com
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Eating Well When Crazy Busy
“The rate of kidney failure in Aboriginal communities is 15 x the rest of Australia. Type 2 diabetes is 3 x the national average. The Foundation needs your support to empower Anangu* to restore their health”
- Damon Gameau, Founding Director of Mai Wai Foundation and creator of ‘That Sugar Film’
health
The truth about
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1. For the love of God, eat your PROTEIN.
There are many popular detoxification diets that claim to revitalize and rejuvenate through disciplined fasts, food abstinence and juice cleanses. The issue with all of these is they promote a limited intake of macronutrients such as protein needed to regulate your hormones, build muscle for a tight, toned body, regulate metabolism, assist us in dropping body fat, helping our digestion and boosting our immune system. When we don’t consume enough protein in our diet like whilst on one of these juice detoxes, our body starts eating away at our muscles which means our basal metabolic rate lowers, in turn cranking down the number of calories our bodies burn at rest. We also start getting all sorts of food cravings. Bad news all around.
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if you treat yourself, come back to your end goal and steer yourself back on track as soon as you can.
4. Get your ZZZ’s
2. Mimic the longest living people on earth with their movement habits.
The longest living people on earth have one thing in common. They are constantly moving. Our bodies need movement for blood circulation, speeding up our digestion and stimulating our muscles. If you spend the majority of your day in an office or in front of a computer, harness the power of technology and use one of the dozens of amazing accelerometers that can track your movement, steps and level of activity throughout the day. Aim for at least 10,000 steps each day which you can try and get in with a walk at lunchtime (which will in turn also boost your productivity). - a good excuse if you’re running late from it!), go for a walking meeting with a colleague and take the stairs instead of the lift. Aim for 30 minutes of resistance exercise every day to also help promote fat loss and toning your body for general health and mental wellbeing.
3. Eat the rainbow
Eating lots of vegetables, seeds, nuts and good fats in salads, smoothies and cold pressed juices will allow your body to absorb the nutrients it needs such as vitamins B and C, potassium, calcium, magnesium and essential amino acids our bodies need to get from food for bright skin, healthy skin and nails, strong hair and sustained energy to detoxify your body. Remember that consistency is key, so even
Sleep is such an underrated (but fun!) part of the process. When I first started out in fitness and building up my business, I would burn the candle at both ends and thought I was coping but gradually noticed my mental state diminish, my body composition and physique changing (not in a favourable way!) even though my nutrition and training were the same, my skin becoming sallow and my interpersonal relationships started to go down the drain. Don’t do this to yourself! Try a nurturing bedtime routine that resonates with you allowing at least 8 hours of shut eye a night. If you’re serious about your health, make this a priority.
5. More than a gut feeling
Called our second brain, our gut is our largest sensory organ and responsible for, amongst other processes, our digestion. There is more and more new research that correlates to our gut acting as the gateway to how we deal with and experience anxiety, depression, anger and happiness. I like to start the day with a glass or shot of apple cider vinegar with fresh lemon and warm water. Don’t try this for the first time whilst driving like I did. Drinking at least a litre of water a day will go a long way to curbing false signals of hunger and getting our digestion under way! Fermented products like kombucha, kimchi and sauerkraut are also a good way to finish off a meal. These promote healthy bacteria in the gut and are way more effective than a Yakult!
Anna Block is the Managing Director of BlockFIT. Anna has a particular interest in women’s empowerment through their health, fitness and wellness, running a female wellness coaching program. This addresses lifestyle, work/life balance, family, mental health, stress and self-love alongside real life skills in optimal health, nutrition, fitness and wellbeing. For more information go to www.blockfit.com.au
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efore you start contemplating a little ‘spring cleaning” it’s good to have the 411 on what works, what doesn’t and what is actually going to do you more harm than good even if your favourite celebrity swears by it. When we think of detoxing, we’re usually referring to the process of detoxifying the systems of our body, mainly our gut in flushing out any toxic food, excessive alcohol and environmental pollutants we have been exposed to. But before you endeavour on a cleverly marketed detox program with the best intentions, here’s the truth about detoxing, and what to do instead. Our body has been capable of performing an internal detoxification since the dawn of time, rendering those aloe vera cleanses, juice fasts, maple syrup cleanses and any other “essential detox program” vying for your hard earned pennies entirely unnecessary, and in most cases, causing more damage than good. There are however a few steps we can take to help our body rejuvenate, revitalize and give it a boost to internally spring clean itself. Here are my top 5:
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Bringing corporate women a feminine touch
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inspiring women
Two Sisters
Gi g Ba
The Struggle of a Single Mum
Making a Difference
For Mobilia’s co-founders and sisters, Vanessa Saab and Anita Eddine, making the generous offer of $15,000 worth of furniture to help Melissa make a home for her family while she deals with the aftermath of a serious injury was a way they could give back to the community that has helped support their thriving furniture hire business. The furniture Mobilia provided was given to Melissa as part of a surprise gift to help her get back on her feet. With a rental property sourced by Community First Real Estate, and three months’ worth of rent paid by the popular breakfast radio show, the donation from Mobilia played an important part in helping the very grateful mother get through a difficult time while she recovers from surgery and is unable to work to afford the basic needs for her young children. “Having built the company from the ground up after being a single parent family, it's a blessing to be able to put time, ďŹ nances and resources into situations and people who are less fortunate as we are very blessed,â€? says Vanessa.
December 2017
Leaving a Legacy
As business partners, Vanessa and Anita may look very different – one is heavily tattooed and the other presents as a more conservative business woman – but with the motivation to grow their business together, they share a common vision. “At the end of the day, we are both driven by success and leaving a legacy for our children and families,â€? says Vanessa. Their proudest achievement to date? For Vanessa, it’s reaching the impressive milestone of seven very successful years in business – something that, sadly, a large percentage of start-ups in business never achieve. Anita agrees. “Reaching my targets and achieving my goals is something I’m really proud of,â€? she says. Rather than see their core differences as problematic, both women believe the differences provide the balance that has helped their business blossom. “We are family, which is deďŹ nitely a challenge and, yes, we are different in decision-making,â€? says Anita. “I’m logical and practical and Vanessa is more of a risk-taker, who is more fast-paced than me.â€?
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The recipe seems to have worked and, since launching the business in 2010, the sisters have pooled their complementary talents – to build their business into one of Sydney’s best property styling agencies. Hearing such positive feedback from the producers and hosts of the Kyle & Jackie O show after their furniture give back played such an integral part in changing Melissa’s life was a fantastic energy boost that has inspired Vanessa and Anita to stay on track and continue to provide superior furniture staging, interior styling, property presentation and furniture hire services to the competitive Sydney real estate market. Their vision for the next five years in business includes even more growth and additions to their fleet of trucks that help deliver professional interior styling to a wide range of Sydney’s contemporary and character homes. On a personal level, the pair has another goal that they know is vital for their union as business partners. “Not killing my sister‌â€? Vanessa laughs.
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When you meet Melissa and her four beautiful boys, you can’t help but notice how much of a beautiful family they are and you’d have no idea of the dark times they’re battling as a family just by looking at them. Melissa was struck down with a back injury last year that saw her needing two surgeries and unable to work and pay the rent. Luckily, Melissa and her four boys were able to stay in a refuge, but time was running out and they were going to have to leave their accommodation by the end of that week. When KIIS FM’s Kyle & Jackie O show revealed the sad story of struggling single Sydney mum, Melissa, and her four children, the team at Mobilia Furniture hire knew they had to do something to help. Kyle & Jackie O from KIIS FM brought Melissa into their studio under the ruse that they would be asking Sydney to help her out with her situation - but really, they already had a surprise in store.
ALL THE FACILITIES YOU NEED IN ONE LOCATION Only 5 mins from the Sunshine Coast Airport Absolute beachfront access Affordable and flexible services Locally owned and operated Wonderful food with special attention to dietary requirements Natural light, breakout rooms, on-site accommodation Perfect mix of business and pleasure
923 David Low Way, Marcoola Beach, Sunshine Coast, QLD, Australia
www.surfairbeachhotel.com.au
Absolute Beachfront Venue The perfect mix of business and pleasure Banquet 10-180
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Centrally located on Queensland’s Sunshine Coast, Surfair Conference, Weddings & Events Centre, is superbly positioned with direct access to one of the Coast’s most popular beaches, patrolled all year round. The Conference Centre is only 5 minutes from the Sunshine Coast Airport, and 90 minutes from the Brisbane CBD. Boasting five in-house function rooms with onsite 4-star accommodation,
Surfair’s
team
of
professional
organisers provide a balance of creativity and detailed planning for events from 10 – 250 guests. Whether it is a conference, exhibition, meeting, dinner, or training seminar, Surfair Conference, Wedding & Events Centre offers the perfect mix of business and pleasure to make your occasion an event to remember. Each newly renovated function room offers built-in AV systems, dedicated wireless internet, adjustable lighting and on-site multi audio visual equipment. With great food and relaxed settings, coupled with Surfair’s friendly and efficient team, you can be assured the preparation and organisation of your event will be seamless resulting in a great success.
T: 61 7 5457 2555
E: greta@surfairbeachhotel.com.au
www.surfairbeachhotel.com.au
money | super
A Man is not a
Retirement Plan
December 2017
anything about making money, or my favourite; I’m no good at Maths. None of these excuses explain why over 92% of all household monetary decisions are made by women. We make decisions surrounding money every day, and make excuses around superannuation almost as much. The old days of squirreling money away into a savings account and watching it prosper and grow into something worthwhile have sadly ended.
Let’s examine the facts
It is a fact that Women tend to live longer than men, making it even more essential that they accumulate enough superannuation to last throughout retirement. It is a fact that Women may face unique challenges when it comes to retirement savings; lower pay or time out of the workforce to raise children and care for family members. It is fact, most Australian women need to start taking control of their financial future - relying on a man is not a financial plan. If you do have a man, then you need to take responsibility of how your family is going to earn an income in retirement as chances are you'll out live him anyway.
It’s Time to Take Control
The essential message is that you as a woman, irrespective of your marital status need to take control of your financial future and your family's. This includes your superannuation. To have the greatest amount of control of your superannuation, you require a Self Managed Superannuation Fund (SMSF). A SMSF is the supercharged version of Superannuation. Offering greater control, increased flexibility, increased transparency and the ability to access additional asset classes; such as direct property, the SMSF is becoming the product of choice for many Australian women. With SMSF being the only way to invest your superannuation into the direct residential investment property, it is fast becoming the vehicle of choice. The sooner you start to make your super work for you, the sooner you take control of your future and your family's. Don’t let procrastination affect your retirement. You need to take control of your largest financial asset today, and remember, A Man is not a Retirement Plan!
Rebecca Beeton is a Professional SMSF Adviser. For more information about the SMSF Club or for a free health check go to www.thesmsfclub.com.au/healthcheck
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I
t’s time to be honest with yourself – the gender finance gap is substantial and is growing larger each and every day. Equality has handed us the ability to choose our education options, our work preferences, our relationships and social standing; but despite all of this increased control, our finances continue to go backwards and the future for many looks bleak. A growing number of Australian women are failing to plan for their financial future. The days of relying on the retirement Aged Pension are no longer certain. As scary as this thought is, it will occur disproportionately across the population by gender; affecting 2 women to every man. If you are one of the millions of Australian women that are sitting on the sidelines of their monetary future; sadly, you may not be alone. • 67% of people aged 65 years and older receiving the aged pension are women • Average superannuation balances for women are 42.1% less than men. • The average superannuation balance for a female at age 65 is $83,000. Over the years I have heard just about every excuse for not doing anything; My husband always handles the money; My parent’s didn’t teach me about money; I can’t do anything with my Superannuation until I’m 65 so what’s the point; I don’t know what I’m doing; I don’t know
TOO BUSY EARNING A
LIVING TO
MAKE ANY
REAL
MONEY? Do you feel like you are always rushing and just dealing with the urgent stuff? Career, business, family, health, friends
THE 9 KEYS TO BUILDING A BETTER FINANCIAL FUTURE
and so on. You know there is more you should be doing – and you know it’s the important stuff but all the urgent stuff
From GPS Wealth
1
Take smart actions – and don’t put them off. Financial Success is important and the number one reason most people fail is procrastination and lack of action.
2
Plan ahead – its clichéd but true, nobody plans to fail, they just fail to plan. A good plan brings everything together and lays out a clear roadmap – in this case for financial success and freedom.
3
Know your own unique starting point – you are unique and it is important to have a crystal-clear picture of your current financial situation – assets, liabilities, income, expenses, super, insurances, taxes, wills - everything. For many people this is an eye opener and it is important to see it as it is – not rose coloured, not too critical – just exactly as it is.
4
Understand your own wealth potential – your wealth potential is how much in investment assets and retirement income you could have if you follow a good sound plan.
5
Establish clear goals – you can’t hit a target you don’t aim for and it is important that you create clear financial goals.
6
Know your numbers – how much in assets and income will you need for a good life, for financial freedom and all your financial goals. It’s actually pretty simple to work out, but most people never do.
seems to fill up your days. We define financial freedom as the ability to live a good life without having to work. Achieving Financial Freedom is simple, but not necessarily easy. Some call it retirement, some call it financial success, some call it wealth. It really doesn’t matter what you call it - It’s all about choice. We have been helping our busy clients achieve financial freedom for nearly 20 years. During that time, we have observed and practiced some key principals. Read on to learn about
THE 9 KEYS TO BUILDING A BETTER FINANCIAL FUTURE
Continued.......
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Invest wisely – you must invest to achieve financial freedom and it is important to make sure you invest carefully and smartly. You will need a good mix of superannuation, shares and property, put together in a way that is just right for you and your goals. Good quality investments should be based on research, sound principals and your unique plan and not based on a whim or a sales push.
8
Avoid the big mistakes – big mistakes can wipe out all your hard work. Borrowing too much, not diversifying, speculating rather than investing, not keeping a good cash buffer are just some of the classical big mistakes.
9
Get expert help and advice – it can be complicated and you are so busy with life. Having the right experts in your corner that you know, like and trust to help you with all of this and to walk with you on your financial journey is invaluable – great advice pays for itself many times over.
DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE ALWAYS RUSHING AND JUST DEALING WITH THE URGENT STUFF?
CAREER, BUSINESS, FAMILY, HEALTH, FRIENDS AND SO ON. YOU KNOW THERE IS MORE YOU SHOULD BE DOING – AND YOU KNOW IT’S THE IMPORTANT STUFF BUT ALL THE URGENT STUFF SEEMS TO FILL UP YOUR DAYS.
WE DEFINE FINANCIAL FREEDOM AS THE ABILITY TO LIVE A GOOD LIFE WITHOUT HAVING TO WORK. ACHIEVING FINANCIAL FREEDOM IS SIMPLE, BUT NOT NECESSARILY EASY. SOME CALL IT RETIREMENT, SOME CALL IT FINANCIAL SUCCESS, SOME CALL IT WEALTH. IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU CALL IT - IT’S ALL ABOUT CHOICE. WE HAVE BEEN HELPING OUR BUSY CLIENTS ACHIEVE FINANCIAL FREEDOM FOR NEARLY
ANSWER THESE 4 QUESTIONS
20 YEARS.
DURING THAT TIME, WE HAVE OBSERVED AND PRACTICED SOME KEY PRINCIPALS. READ ON TO LEARN ABOUT
1.
How important is it to you to achieve Financial Freedom at some stage?
2.
How important is to you to be financially organised with all the important things taken care of ?
3.
How confident are you that you are on track to achieving Financial Freedom.
4.
How would you rate your current level of financial organization / dealing with important financial stuff
If you have some “gaps” between what you want to achieve and where you are now, we may be able to help. Check out the free offer on the next page and act now to take some smart steps towards financial freedom.
GPS WEALTH LTD | AFSL 254 544 | AUSTRALIAN CREDIT LICENCE 254 544 | ABN 17 005 482 726
The information contained in this article has been provided as general advice only. The contents of this article have been prepared without taking account of your objectives, financial situation or needs. You should, before you make any decision regarding any information, strategies or products mentioned in this document, consult your own financial advisor to consider whether that is appropriate having regard to your own objectives, financial situation and needs. Whilst GPS Wealth Ltd is of the view the contents of this article is based on information which is believed to be reliable, its accuracy and completeness are not guaranteed and no warranty of accuracy or reliability is given or implied and no responsibility for any loss or damage arising in any way for any representation, act or omission is accepted by GPS Wealth Ltd or any officer, agent or employee of GPS Wealth Ltd.
Like to take a simple smart step towards Financial Freedom right now? If you want total confidence that you are on track and taking the right actions towards financial freedom this could be one of the most important ads you ever read. But before we get into it, we want to make something really clear. This is NOT one of those get-rich-quick schemes that promises you a fortune for doing next to nothing or promises to reveal so called “secrets” that only the wealthy know about. In fact, what we teach and advise will only work for those who: Are earning good money and doing well in their career Want to build real wealth and achieve financial freedom, but are so busy you never seem to find the time to do what you know you need to do. Are willing to have a realistic (not rose coloured) look at their current financial situation Are prepared to take sound advice from experienced and expert advisers Really want to find the right advisers who will guide you to financial success without pushing “financial products” or coming across with a sales pitch Can commit to a plan and take smart actions
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AUSTRALIA’S MOST AWARDED FINANCIAL ADVICE GROUP GPS WEALTH LTD | AFSL 254 544 | AUSTRALIAN CREDIT LICENCE 254 544 | ABN 17 005 482 726 | www.gpswealth.com.au The information contained in this article has been provided as general advice only. The contents of this article have been prepared without taking account of your objectives, financial situation or needs. You should, before you make any decision regarding any information, strategies or products mentioned in this document, consult your own financial advisor to consider whether that is appropriate having regard to your own objectives, financial situation and needs. Whilst GPS Wealth Ltd is of the view the contents of this article is based on information which is believed to be reliable, its accuracy and completeness are not guaranteed and no warranty of accuracy or reliability is given or implied and no responsibility for any loss or damage arising in any way for any representation, act or omission is accepted by GPS Wealth Ltd or any officer, agent or employee of GPS Wealth Ltd.
money | property
Dual The
Dwelling
Why Australians Love Investing in Property
here are plenty of reasons why Australians love to borrow money to invest in bricks and mortar. Some people think the value of property never goes down, others like the fact you can see and touch it. But, mostly, it is the ability to offset the cost of owning the property – including the interest paid on a loan – against assessable income that makes it particularly attractive. But it may not necessarily be the best investment strategy for everyone. If the loan costs are greater than the rental income, then the Australian Taxation Office allows investors to offset the loss against their income, this is often considered more a “tax strategy” than an investment one. Since the aim of most investment strategies is to make a profit, investors with negatively geared property either hope that one day the rent covers the loan costs or the capital growth in the property is such that they make a profit when it comes time to sell. As soon as the rent covers the cost of borrowing, it becomes a positively geared property, and the income might be subject to tax. I would say it is better to pay tax on profit than to have made a loss.
Is Negative Gearing an Outdated Strategy?
For most of the 30 or so years negative gearing has been around, it has been a reasonable strategy based on the capital growth rates of property across the country. However, at a time of global economic uncertainty, betting on capital gains from property is a risky and outdated strategy for most people. I would rather see people purchase cash flow positive property that can then be rented for more than the weekly outlay. If it generates a capital gain, then that is a bonus. If you invest for income, and the income is paying for the property, that is savvy investing. Any accountant would warn against investing in property, simply for the purpose of a tax deduction. If a property market is stagnant, as some areas have experienced in Australia, then you will be falling behind. I think too much emphasis is placed on the tax advantages of negatively geared property and not enough on creating positive cash flow and real equity in the property. It is possible to buy property that can be reasonably expected to increase in value and bring in sufficient rent, coupled with depreciation, to cover costs plus more.
Dual Dwelling = Dual Income
The Dual Dwelling is a revolutionary product that fundamentally changes the viability of investing in residential property. When viewed from the road it appears to be a high-quality standard residential dwelling, but in fact, it is actually two separate residences. Each home has its own entrance, garage, fenced back yard and fire rated dividing wall that separates the two homes and extra soundproofing ensures the occupant’s privacy. The Dual dwelling layout provides the investor with two rents instead of one, which means that the property can be cash flow positive from day one and could return $100 – $200 per week after all costs including mortgage payments, management fees, insurance, one set of rates and no body corporate fees. There are over 100 homes available right now, situated in growth corridors in South East Queensland. These homes also come with a ‘Peace of Mind’ three year property rental return guarantee. A better way to invest to create true wealth for your future.
Julie Anderson is a licenced sales agent with Team Anderson Property Group and is the contact for Dual Dwelling Properties, located on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland. For more information on how to create “real wealth” using positive cash flow property contact Julie Anderson on 0411 416 924 or go to www.teamanderson.com.au
December 2017
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T
n o i t u l o v e R
business | money
I
t e G o t w Ho S S E N I S U B R U O Y t i F y l l a i c Finan
love watching the Olympics. It’s usually on the couch with chocolate but nonetheless, I’m in awe of the determination it takes to get to that elite level. Of course, the athletes don’t get there by crossing their fingers and hoping or by waking up in the morning and deciding it’s too hard and hitting the snooze button. Instead they set up a series of daily habits and rituals that cover everything from when they get up, what they repeat to themselves before a race, what time and how often they train, what they eat and perhaps even the underwear they wear. It’s all designed to create a series of habits to help ensure success and the achievement of their long term goals. It’s the same for us mere mortals. Too often business owners see me and want the magic pill or formula which will guarantee success but sadly there’s no such thing. However by working out what is important to you, what your goals are and how you can create activity and track those goals, you can set up a series of rituals and habits that will ensure you become perhaps not quite an Olympic athlete, but certainly a fitter, stronger business owner.
what your current numbers are so you know what you have to work with. 2. Know what you want them to be. Knowing your numbers is great, but working out a goal for what you want them to be is even more important. Once you’ve worked out your retention rate, conversion rate, leads, average sale price, number of times customers do business with you, net profit, debtor days, etc then work out what these numbers should be and by when. 3. Know what you need to do. Hoping the numbers will improve is not a strategy. Work out the steps you need to take to make it happen and commit it to paper (or computer) and then get started. 4. Work out a 90 day plan. Once you’ve completed step three it can be daunting to know where to start so work out the activity that is critical to do first. It’s no different to a training plan or a weight loss plan – it’s breaking it down into those activities you need to do in your workplace tomorrow. That might be having seven meetings a week
6 Keys to Get your Business Financially Fit
1. Know your Numbers. If I want to drop to 60kgs I need to know my starting weight. It’s no different with your business. You need to understand
with potential clients, making six cold sales calls or reviewing your pricing and creating a new price structure. Just figure out the next steps, the date and commit to doing those things in your first 90 days. 5. Stay on Track. There is a reason weight loss programs make people weigh-in on a certain day every week. It’s so they can be held accountable and can tweak their activity if they’re not getting the results they want. Why should it be any different in your business? Create weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual milestones and then check in weekly to make sure you’re on track. If you’re not hitting your targets, alter your activity before you abandon your targets. 6. Start Again. Every 90 days work out your next lot of activity and keep going. That’s because success isn’t a magic pill – it’s a training program committed to and performed daily. It’s a habit. Finally, get help if you need it. There’s a reason why professional athletes have coaches. Sure they might be able to do it by themselves but it’s much easier when there’s someone there pushing them along, helping to correct any imbalances, celebrating with them and keeping them accountable to what they say they are going to do.
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Melissa Browne is a money and business strategy expert and founder of A&TA and The Money Barre. Melissa works with small and medium business owners to save tax, grow their business and reduce their stress. She is the author of More Money for Shoes and Fabulous but Broke. For more information visit www.byata.com.au or contact melissa@byata.com. au
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work #womenwho
your go to guide
Business, Career & Leadership
REAL WOMAN December 2017
42
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for the
A PAY RISE in 5 easy steps
career| work
How to get
There’s nothing worse than feeling undervalued in any aspect of life, including at work. Are you feeling ripped off or overlooked by the pay your employer is giving you? Don’t sit back and allow anyone to treat you unfairly, when it comes to work there’s something you can do about it. If you don’t believe you are being paid what you deserve, here are 5 easy steps you can take. 1. Put your hand up
A common reason people don’t get pay increases when they deserve to, is they hesitate to ask for one. If a pay rise is what you want, speak up and let your manager know. While of course it’s ideal that your employer drive the process of ensuring you receive fair compensation, when they fail to, for whatever reason, don’t be backward in coming forward. Do something before you feel totally undervalued and aggrieved. Talk to your manager about how you feel and what you would like to see happen. Action: Talk to your manager about your desire for a pay review.
2. Have clear expectations
Know what you want. Have a clear view of not only what you believe you should be paid but also why. Form realistic expectations of your earning potential by doing your research. Make reasonable requests by understanding how your role, experience or contribution justifies the need for you to earn more than you already do. Simply saying your want or need more money to live, isn’t enough to convince most employers of the need to give you a raise. Action: Do your research. Understand what is reasonable to expect.
3. Understand the value of your role
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There’s no point going into a pay review discussion kidding yourself about what you can expect to earn in the job you’re in. Understand that there is a ceiling to what any employer will pay for a particular role. Be very honest with yourself about how
your role makes a difference to the success of the business. Face the reality that you may need to earn a promotion in order to increase your income. Action: If you have reached the ceiling of earning potential in your current job talk to your manager about what skills or experience you need to take on a more senior position.
4. Understand the value of your contribution
Consider the standard of your performance and extent to which you are delivering the level of contribution you are capable of. Are you disciplined with your time, organized and focused enough to optimise the level of your productivity and the value you add? How does your experience and capabilities compare with those of your peers, inside and outside of your organisation?. Has the level of your contribution grown over time and justify the need for your employer to pay you more? If you are unsure ask for feedback so you can better understand
how your employer sees your worth to the business. Action: Get the training or support you need to optimise the standard of your performance. Get the experience you need to demonstrate the ability to add greater value.
5. Argue with reason
Like any negotiation process you are more likely to achieve the outcome you want if you are perceived as being fair and reasonable. Keep emotion out of your discussions and focus on why you believe an increase of your remuneration is justified. Prepare your case in advance and be ready to talk about your expectations and any specific requests you have. Appreciate that your employer may not be in a position to go all of the way to meeting your expectations in one step. Be open to exploring steps that can be taken over a period of time. Action: Be calm, rational and patient. Hold reasonable expectations and be open minded to reaching alternative yet mutually agreeable solutions.
Karen Gately is a leadership and people-management specialist and a founder of Ryan Gately. Karen works with leaders and HR teams to drive business results through the talent and energy of people. She is the author of The People Manager’s Toolkit: A Practical guide to getting the best from people (Wiley) and The Corporate Dojo: Driving extraordinary results through spirited people. For more information visit www.ryangately.com.au or contact info@ryangately.com.au
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work | career
5 tips to Elevating your Presence and Presenting Yourself
with Confidence
W
hether you own a business or work within an organisation, the key to elevating your presence and growing your career is visibility and confidence. With visibility and confidence, you can make a lasting impact and begin to create influence within your industry. Here are 5 tips to help you elevate your professional presence and present yourself with confidence: 1. Own your credibility and your personal strengths. Set any self-doubt aside and believe in yourself. You are an accomplished professional with plenty of reasons to feel confident,
December 2017
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your arms out like you’re getting ready to hug someone, holding your arms up with clenched fists, or standing nice and tall with hands on hips. 5. Focus on creating relationships. LinkedIn is an invaluable social platform for connecting with likeminded professionals and industry colleagues, but the real strength lies in the phone conversations and face-toface catch-ups at an event or over coffee. Nurture real relationships and grow the network you’ve got around you. Develop your confidence by mixing with the people who bring out your best. Just because you have credibility and experience doesn’t mean you can sit back and relax. If you want to have greater visibility, impact and influence in your career, the key is elevating your presence and presenting yourself with confidence. Are you ready for the next level of your success? Melissa Lewis specialises in uncovering the blind spots for highperforming, driven women, working in male-dominated industries who want to achieve greater executive presence. For more information please go to www.styleconfidante. com.au
iStockphoto.com
You’re talented and experienced with great credentials, but today’s fastpaced, competitive global marketplace is inundated with talent. How are you going to stand head and shoulders above the crowd?
so this is about backing yourself. Be proud, not only of your qualifications and accolades but also your best personality traits, interpersonal skills and business acumen. 2. Dress the part. When you look and feel amazing, you will exude confidence, so choose outfits that flatter your best features and make sure that you are maintaining the appropriate ‘look’ for your industry. This helps to create trust and reinforces your credibility. When you consistently dress for success, you send a clear, congruent message about who you are and where you want to go. 3. Differentiate yourself. Yes, it’s important to dress and act appropriately for your industry, but you also need to find a way to be visible and express what you stand for, both verbally and non-verbally. What’s your unique point of difference? Are you clear about what you’re offering? It’s worth refining and revamping your brand so that you stick in people’s minds. 4. Practice the physiology of confidence. Studies by well-known Harvard professor Amy Cuddy have shown that posture has a direct impact on key hormones like testosterone, which increases a person’s confidence. Try a daily practice of two-minute “power postures” such as stretching
We understand life can be complicated – so it’s important to take care of yourself too. We are a Queensland based boutique legal practice with the ability to service clients both locally and interstate.
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work | leadership
Lessons of
ust as it takes a village to raise a child – it takes a team of trusted mentors to support and catapult a good business woman to become great! As in life, the journey of starting, running and excelling in your own business is filled with challenges and obstacles. However, it need not be a lonely and perilous road. By surrounding yourself with the expertise you may lack to provide advice, direction and practical assistance, you will allow your true talents and potential to be realised. Own your Vision and Plan You will face many obstacles along the pathway to success. Know why you’re doing what you’re doing and link it to a goal with a feeling every 100 weeks. Ensure you are celebrating with the people you love the most, travelling, spa retreats, girl’s weeks and heartfelt gifts. Back Yourself Financially Ensure you engage a professional to keep you on track to your financial targets. Invest in yourself with quality education and networks and put a 6 month buffer of your fixed expenses away in case an opportunity arises that will allow you to have choices in life. Marketing is Magic Your personal brand and values will carry you further than any paid marketing. Be a leader with integrity, always speak impeccably of others to their face and
behind their back. Look to serve others by asking quality questions and focusing on priorities. Be the best version of you now. Loyalty and Trust are Keys to Sales Discover what value you offer and build a loyal following of that. We are all sales people of our ability to be trusted. Trusted advisors are honest, look people in the eye and connect with others by clearly stating how you feel. Authenticity with respect for yourself and others are key. My Time is my Territory Recognise that everyone gets the same hours in the day, it is how you manage your energy that is critical. Learn what days you naturally have the most energy and build your productivity by leveraging those hours. Build in set hours that are free time, family time and exercise time. Build a Dream Team Understand that alone you can achieve very little and attract a team that accept you for your strengths. A
Kate Osborne is the founder of Leisure Seekers – a business and life coaching company that provides a holistic approach through their training and support services. Kate was the winner of the 2013 Westpac Most Outstanding Woman in Business. Kate has a particular passion for supporting women both in their professional and personal lives. www.leisureseekers.com.au Mob + 61 412 651 206
December 2017
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lawyer, an Accountant, a coach, a doctor or chiropractor, a best friend and virtual assistant with opposing talents will enable you to enjoy your journey to leader with peace of mind. Financial Freedom is within reach Do you ever want to be able to live without having to work? Understand exactly the amount of money you require each month to free yourself for retirement. Treat life as a game with a scoreboard – ensure you know what you are counting as a winning point and focus on achieving your results. You can do it!
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Leadership
At Leisure Seekers we believe in personal potential. Are YOU experiencing all life has to offer? Tanya Winter
Director Studio Pilates I engaged Kate as my coach at a time when our business was at full capacity. My husband Jade and I always had a vision to take Pilates to the world however, we had no formal business or HR training. Kate taught us more in two days than we had learnt in years trying to just go one day at a time. I was challenged in my heath and realised that coaching was critical to us achieving our dreams. With Kate’s help, we now have a fully franchised business that is serving over 3000 customers per week. Our profiling system for team recruitment and individualised training has been a key to our success.
Jellaine Ross
Founder Cherry Blooms Australia I’m a Gen Y leader in the beauty industry and Kate has been my coach since I was 23. I felt if I was going to achieve my potential, I would need female mentors around me who walk their talk. Coaching for me is a safe place to air my concerns and challenges around all aspects of being a woman in business. I think women lead with heart and it’s critical that we develop our strengths and outsource everything else, if you don’t - how else can you expect to win?
Kim Sutton
CEO - Gold Coast Hospital Foundation II first met Kate at a business breakfast and we shared the synergies of raising a young family, entrepreneurial thinking and leading successful teams. By engaging Kate for a profiling session, it allowed our team to immediately see the individual strengths each of us possess and can contribute to any project or task. By aligning these strengths, we set some ambitious goals that will allow us to better help patients through medical crisis. For example, our ‘On the Bus’ appeal raises the funds needed to transport vulnerable cancer patients to and from hospital for daily chemotherapy and radiation treatment.
Kylie Byrne Director Byrne Baby Byrne I first met Kate when she was a share she was the owner of two Flight Centre stores and we both understood how to have fun, whilst achieving our goals. Following the development of my own marketing company, we reconnected at aclient conference in Bali. Kate’s uniqueness is that she is never afraid of asking the difficult questions, persevering until the answers uncover over time. By allowing the mask to drop and accepting myself fully, I now live and work authentically - loyal to a set of values that sit perfectly aligned to who I am.
Do you have an AUTHENTIC LEADERSHIP style? Find out how you can maximise your strengths. Simply complete a 10 minute questionnaire and Leisure Seekers will provide you with a FREE report! Scan the QR code below or visit:
leisureseekers.com.au/ realwomanleaders
PLUS, you also have the opportunity of a FREE 15 minute coaching session to teach you how to improve yourself and your chances to have more choices in life. Jump onto our website to hear Jellaine Ross and Kim Sutton sharing their most current leadership challenge, unscripted authentic and insightful.
leisureseekers.com.au
+61 412 651 206
..In the next Real Woman issue, learn how they applied tips to overcome their challenge.
work | business
Why you Need just
12 People in Your Network
December 2017
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the most will generally tell us what we want to hear, not what we need to hear. Your Lover in your network puts you and your needs first to help you become the best you can be in times of hardship as well as success. Connector: Your Connectors are powerful brokers of information and contacts. They have an innate ability to open doors and make connections between people and information, joining dots you can’t see and creating opportunities that might have been unheard of previously. Balancer: The key word for a Balancer is self-care. They make sure you have everything aligned and in check, forcing you to attach your own oxygen mask before you see to anyone else’s. They understand that any kind of success relies on a healthy balance between personal and professional goals Influencer: ‘Been there, done that’: say hello to your Influencer. Your Influencer will have reached a level of success you aspire to. They will enrich your learning experience with their own knowledge sharing incredible insights and helping you avoid having to reinvent the wheel or learning everything the hard way. Professor: Richard Branson once said, “The day you stop learning is the day you stop living. We should all pick up new skills, ideas, viewpoints and ways of working every day.” Your Professor will constantly push you to think better think deeper and think differently mastering your skill and capability. Architect: Your Architect is an expert at visualising the consummation of your
plans and how to reach that future. They are methodical, astute and financially savvy, good at identifying potential gains, challenges and risks and at laying the stepping-stones to guide you along your path. 10. Truth Sayer: Your Truth Sayer is honest and loyal, forcing you to commit to your goals with integrity. They know the only judgement that matters is the one you have of yourself. If you don't start leading from within and fully owning who you are you will never be capable of being a better person. 11. Accelerator: Your Accelerator is the master butt-kicker, grabbing procrastination by its ankles and hurling it out of the window. Whether you have a plan, a dream or a project to deliver on, they will kick your butt into action so your ideas doesn't remain just that – an idea. 12. Mentor: A survey of 45 CEOS with formal mentoring agreements (HBR APRIL 2015) found that 71% said they were certain that company performance had improved as a result. Whether in a formal or an informal arrangement, you are never too old for a Mentor. Mentors are crucial to your growth and success. They guide and inspire your choices, providing wisdom to keep you on track. It was Leadership expert John C Maxwell who said, “Those closest to you determine your level of success, so choosing the right companions as partnership pursuit of your vision is an important decision.” There is no doubt that networking matters but it is YOUR network that matters more.
Janine Garner is an internationally-acclaimed entrepreneur and Fortune 500 mentor, keynote speaker and author. She is a partner at Thought Leaders Global, and the founder and CEO of the LBDGroup, a networking community that connects like-minded women together to help them achieve extraordinary growth. Her new book, It’s Who You Know: How a network of 12 key people can fast-track your success (Wiley), is out now. Visit www.janinegarner.com.au
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ere’s the bottom line - we don't need more contacts, we don't need more friends and we don't necessarily need to spend more time connecting on line. If all we needed was this, then every single one of us would be basking in unparalleled success just from the sheer number of opportunities we have to connect. There is no doubt that networking and building a sales lead generation list is critical for business growth. However, to really succeed you must become the master of your personal network. It’s the quality of who is in your network that really matters. I believe there are 12 key people needed in every successful network who, when working together will fast-track your success. So let’s meet them: 1. Cheerleader: Your Cheerleader is your number one fan. They are the CEO of your personal cheer club, promoting you whenever they can, sponsoring your growth, creating opportunities for you to shine and pushing you to do more because they believe in you and your dreams. 2. Explorer: Your Explorer will question why, who, what, where, when and how. They will disrupt your present situation to introduce you to a new future. Your Explorer challenges norms and uncovers new paths. They want to know what you think and get excited about the road less travelled, courageously and fearlessly carving out previously unknown options for you to consider. 3. Inspirer: No matter what you do and achieve, having an Inspirer in your network will change everything. They are ambitious; big-picture out of the box thinkers who never give in to ‘I can’t’ thinking but instead believe you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. 4. Lover: Although its tempting to nominate a significant other for this role the danger is that those who love us
If anyone had told Maria Nicola she would appear on Channel 10 ’s Shark Tank one year and be selling on P&O cruises the next, she would never have believed it! Especially when just 4 years prior, her life had significantly changed. Her 17 year marriage had come to an end, and she found herself a single mother of 2 gorgeous children, and a passion for jewellery. Maria had run 2 small fashion jewellery business’s from the age of 22, and just loved everything about jewellery, especially how it made women feel!
“After creating and designing jewellery for so long, I saw a need in the market for compact and versatile jewellery. On many occasions my clients would comment, “I wish there’s was more than one length I could wear my necklaces, so I could change my necklace as I change my outfit.” says Maria From there the 10 Way Necklace was born. Maria started hand making every piece, and experimented until she created the ultimate travel necklace!! She showed it to different clientele and really listened to their responses. She drew on her past contacts to find a manufacturer. “My first contact told me, sure no problem!! After months of waiting for reply’s to emails, and phone calls, the quality of the sample I got back was substandard and would not do. Then a jewellery rep I knew gave me a contact that she thought was worth a try. We got off to a bumpy start with the first order of 1,000 necklaces delivered to me made incorrectly! I thought my journey was over before it had begun!! I picked my heart up off the floor and had a civil discussion with her. To my delight they agreed it was their fault. They collected the order, re-threaded it AND delivered it back to me perfectly 3 weeks la later! ” says Maria. With the addition of two optional extras - the Swarovski Crystal Pendant and the Crystal Tassel, an instructional video app and classy packaging, Maria knew the 10 Way Necklace was ready. It was received with great success at her events and appreciated by women of all ages! The 10 Way Necklace had been in production for only 1 year when Maria saw the opportunity to appear on Shark Tank, so with half excitement and half “oh my gosh what are am I doing?” Maria went for it!! It took 3 months for the application process, but Maria actually made it through 1000’s of applicants Australia wide to the filming stage! Maria was committed to not looking like a fool on TV and took to studying every possible question and answer leading into film day, and that day finally arrived. “It was surreal, one by one the contestants came out ahead of me, and they were upset! Just shaking their heads. Oh gosh I thought, there’s no turning back now! Once I was out there, I was in the zone. I’d visualised it 1000’s of times, the nerves completely left me and I found myself having fun!” smiles Maria
SHARK TANK APPEARANCE
STUDIO 10 WITH JESSICA ROWE
work | leadership
No Woman is
an Island For a Type A personality, which many task oriented and driven leaders are, I thought I was connecting until a wise coworker graciously challenged some of my blind spots. Technically I was her boss but I soon appreciated her superior "soft skills" and insights which challenged me to get out from behind the desk, walk around more having conversations which weren't only about deadlines. We also held more staff socials, put on coffee and cake just because we could, and looked actively for ways to affirm people.
3 Keys to Thriving as a Leader:
Permission to Speak:
The Importance of Connection:
What we Value, We Find Time For:
1. Be intentional about connection; 2. Challenge blind spots of leadership style by seeking feedback; 3. Tame your "elephants" and make time for rest, recreation and reflection. Firstly, it seems strange that the loneliness of the leadership journey can be lauded as an unfortunate necessity. I used to buy into this but not anymore. Long gone is the picture I hung on my wall showing an eagle atop a great tree in a forest with the phrase "Leaders are like Eagles, they don’t flock, you find them one at a time". How on earth did I draw inspiration from that? While leaders will have to make decisions which won't always tick the popularity box, this can't be used as an excuse for not connecting with others.
What I have realised is that if a leader isn't connecting, they're not really leading, and connection needs genuine relationships, not just programs and tasks.
December 2017
The second point is about being willing to challenge our own blind spots and seek feedback. We must value those who have permission to speak honestly into our lives as it is part of the process of being a better person and a better leader. There are those closest to me who have permission to speak into my private world to provide personal accountability. My sister is particularly good at this! And there are those I lead in the workplace who do the same in that space. It can be as simple as having honest conversations with those we lead or also using professional development tools such as 360 degree feedback of the Leadership Practices Inventory by Kouzes and Posner.
Thirdly, we must never be too busy for rest, recreation and reflection. Despite the push and pull of competing responsibilities, there is usually time in the diary that is totally under our control.
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When I’ve failed to "get the balance right" it’s when I haven't planned ahead and intentionally diarised ahead for rest, recreation and reflection. Even if I amend these entries later, I have something to negotiate with myself rather than having nowhere to go. Remember the elephant principle. Even an elephant looks small in the distance. As you get closer, the bigger it appears. The same is true with our diary commitments. When they are a long way off, they may not loom as large and appear easily manageable. As they come closer in time we can realise that we are over committed. That's when you need to be an elephant tamer. Don't let the elephants tame you. Take that diary and block out the necessary time way ahead. What we value, we find time for but it needs forward planning to work best. We won't get it right all of the time but I can guarantee life is a lot sweeter and you're less likely to be squashed by a rampaging elephant! I wish you fun in your leadership journey as you stay connected, challenge blind spots and tame the elephants in your diary! Life's too sweet not to enjoy the journey. Fiona Simpson is an Australian politician serving as Liberal National Party (LNP) member for Maroochydore, Queensland. Simpson served as Speaker of the House from 2012 to 2015 and further served as Deputy Leader of the Queensland National Party from 2006 to 2008.
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early 400 years ago English poet John Donne penned the classic phrase, "No man is an island”. This sage observation followed a painful confinement due to serious illness. It holds as true today - for women as well as men - that we can't live in isolation from others. However, on the leadership journey you will often hear and experience the loneliness of these positions. Life gets busy, schedules inhibit investment in deeper relationships and decisions won't always be popular. If you are wanting to spurn the desert island experience as a leader, here are three helpful keys:
JOIN THE TRIBE #WEAREBETTERTOGETHER
REAL WOMAN GLOBAL THE NETWORK HELPING WOMEN IN BUSINESS | WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE | WOMEN IN THE COMMUNITY
GET CONNECTED * BE EMPOWERED * HAVE FUN * MAKE A DIFFERENCE
BECOME A MEMBER TODAY WWW.REALWOMANGLOBAL.ORG
work | business
Overnight Success – Fact or Fiction
The Power of a Plan
Like ANYTHING in life and business … true success, real sticky results TAKES TIME! You must have a plan, patience and a mindset that understands delayed gratification and the value that comes from building relationships and a robust content plan. You may get a win or two in the media to start with but expecting astronomical results straight off the bat may be unrealistic. If you truly want your marketing and PR to work – STICK WITH IT. If you engage a marketing or PR professional to help you, understand they are not a miracle worker, they do not own the media, they cannot guarantee the media will take your story, however they will work to a strategy that will bring results over time.
5 Tips to Getting the Most out of Marketing and PR
1. Create a plan and stick to it. When the going gets tough, go back to your plan, reassess and revise but keep moving forward. Test and measure your results; what doesn’t work, drop, what does, keep doing it. 2. There is no such thing as an overnight success or luck. Read Malcolm Gladwell’s Tipping Point and Outliers, he has some great insights into this. It takes time to become ‘well known’. Ask anyone who appears to be an overnight success how long it took them to achieve their goals. 3. There is no magic bullet. PR is not going to save your business. Millions are not going to knock your door down for your product and service. Marketing and PR is all about relationships, so be helpful. 4. Foundations are vital. All good things start with solid foundations – systems and processes in place, marketing plan locked in, etc – and then you are ready to start building up and out. 5. Success is an inside job. You can have all the above but if your mindset is off, all the success in the world means nothing. If you do not understand or accept the trials and tribulations of being in business, you’ll be easily discouraged, give up too soon and blame others. Invest in personal development, read books, get a mentor, go to workshops and seminars, and build resilience. Be in it for the long haul because if you do, you will see great results.
Annette Densham is the Owner of Award Winning PR and Marketing firm Publicity Genie. For more information on how to make the most of your marketing and PR go to www.publicitygenie.com
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Everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame.
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fter all, a story in the media is the ultimate in third party credibility. You’ve got serious street cred when your story appears in a well-known newspaper or magazine, or you are interviewed on a radio program. And as much as people bag the media … when you are in business, and looking for free publicity, a journalist is your new BFF. A lot of people want what PR can give them but they expect the PR person to be a miracle worker… a modern-day magician who can wield control over the media and make them do what they want. So many in business give up after a couple of weeks because they did not get the wins they expected. It may not happen overnight, but it will happen.
career| work
10 Practical tips
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for Success in a Male-dominated Workplace
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had never considered my gender until I started working in law enforcement and realised I had been working for four years in a femalefriendly workplace bubble. I was lucky enough to already know someone who worked in the police force, and better yet, he was a workplace psychologist. I remember calling him after I got the job and his reaction was ‘Get a pen and paper because you need to write down what I tell you’. However, even the nuanced observations of a trained professional did not prepare me for the abrupt cultural shift I was entering into. Perhaps it is also telling that the only person I knew to get advice from was a male. While helpful, his guidance could only ever paint half the picture of what I would encounter as a female in that environment. Nearly two years later, I’m still here and continually discovering ways to make my way within the workplace. I’ve learnt by doing, observing, trying, failing, talking to women in senior positions, women who clean the bathrooms, women who’ve left the organisation, managers and men who are making a difference. I’ve also realised that while law enforcement is at the extreme end of the spectrum, discussions with other women have proven that they face similar difficulties in science, academia and even humanitarian work. Here is some advice developed through my own trial and error (and sometimes catastrophe) system: 1. Seek first to understand, then be understood. Understand the cultural and historical context of your industry, and how that has shaped the environment you now work in. Talk to people that have been there for a long time, and become inquisitive about why things are the way they are. I
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can guarantee that understanding will go a long way toward building better connections. Keep firm and professional boundaries, but still be a human. Particularly in less traditional workplace environments, where casualness can cause you to relax and be caught off-guard. If you retain your core boundaries, you will show those around you that they need to respect them, too. That said, you don’t need to be the fun police - it’s still important to have a sense of humour. Get some experience in an opposite work environment, where women rule. This is absolutely key - having the variation of experience will assist you in recognising and understanding the dynamics and complexities of your workplace. It will also provide you with an invaluable second network! Do a secondment, join a women’s committee, do some volunteering with a female-oriented not-for-profit. Get a mentor. Preferably outside the organisation, and better yet, someone who used to work there. That way, when you discuss workplace concerns, they will be an objective but supportive point of reference that will allow you to bounce ideas off. And if they worked there, they will be able to bring insights without the responsibility or politeness they might have to exercise if they were a current employee. Form informal and positive alliances with other women in the organisation. If anything brings women together, it’s being in the minority at work. It is so important to have someone who is only a workspace or floor away that you can meet with for lunch or by the water cooler when
you have a workplace conversation that makes you feel like Hilary Clinton in a presidential debate. 6. Break the gender divide by working hard to build one on one relationships, as opposed to trying to tackle them as a group. Thinking all men are the same is a trap and will get you nowhere. Identify people who you want or need to build a relationship with, and simply ask to pick their brain over lunch or after a meeting. Cultivate a curiosity about people and their work, and learn how to develop a genuine connection that you cannot with a large group. 7. Seek out the male champions of change. Better yet, wait until they present themselves, because they absolutely will. Their actions will speak louder than words, and they will be the ones who encourage and support you, regardless of your gender. 8. Pick your battles. Know what is a losing battle and assess whether it is your or your organisations biggest priority. In my experience, you won’t have to wait long until a bigger issue emerges. You will make yourself tired if you don’t learn to make accurate assessments on this front. 9. But still, fight for progress. Don’t give up because something is hard - that might mean that it is worth it. Make sure your workplace is somewhere you can say you are proud to work. Look at your company’s history of responding to organisational change and don’t be disheartened - you might be closer or further along than you think. 10. Make your voice heard. Be an equal contributor in meetings, the lunchroom and social events. Visibility is your greatest strength.
Clara van den Bosch is a Senior Analyst at Victoria Police, and previously worked as a parole officer for Corrections Victoria. She loves pickles, has two mostly useless undergraduate degrees and can’t waive your speeding fine.
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www.realwomanglobal.org
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SHINING BRIGHT IN THE MARKETPLACE
Healthy snacks Slim Secrets As used by Brand Ambassador Bachelorette Sophie Monk slimsecrets.com.au
push, shake, transform Karma Wellness Water drinkkarma.com.au
spoil yourself CK Gems RRP $40 + ckgems.com.au
healthy skin / hair care Everyday Shampoo / Hair Repair Conditioner Sebamed RRP $12.99 sebamed.com.au
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healthy benefits Green Tea in 3 seconds greenteain3.com.au
December 2017
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Di ond Delights
SHINING BRIGHT IN THE MARKETPLACE
prime time John Plunkett Primer RRP $30.00 plunketts.com.au
the perfect towel Turkish Murkish RRP $49.00 to $64.95 turkishmurkish.com
shine bright this season LonvitalitĂŠ Skincare Use Promo Code ‘summer’ to receive a 30% discount first orders lonvitalite.com.au
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A Designer Bag for Busy Mums RRP $289.00 syndalia.com.au
To enter go to www.realwomanglobal.org/competitions
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Finding Gorgeous a in your aranoi Parts
ll women’s bodies change with age, life, weight changes, health challenges and of course gravity, (no one is escaping that one!!) The truth is no matter what age, size or body shape most woman have one common issue that holds them back from feeling gorgeous. It’s their ‘shit bits’ or ‘paranoia parts’!! All women believe they have them! It might be your bottom, tuckshop arms, your boobs, your thighs, your ankles or your lanky legs, the list goes on and on! When getting dressed women typically look at the parts of their body they least like, the parts of themselves they might consider their shit bits!! These areas usually get so much attention that women literally dress only these parts of themselves. For example if one of your shit bits is your bottom, you are sure to spend time breaking your neck to get a view of how your bottom looks in those pants! Especially when you go jeans shopping!! The truth is you are so much more than a part and to have real success dressing for your body shape you need to consider how the whole outfit works!
Media’s Distorted View
When I ask women what parts of themselves they are not happy with they can give me an immediate answer, sometimes a list!! Yet when I ask what parts they do like, all women need a minute to consider this, and sometimes cannot come up with an answer! Too often women give their shit bits so much time and energy they have literally forgotten they’re a whole gorgeous woman! Women are bombarded with digitally altered images in the media which offers
December 2017
a distorted ideal of beauty. This leads to women thinking they are inadequate and have shit bits, as they compare themselves to this unrealistic ideal. We also have stories from growing up that our family and friends told us. Maybe you were told you had lanky legs or good child bearing hips!! The comments you hear and images you see can lead to a belief that you are in some way not enough.
Beliefs about Your Bits
It’s not your bits that are the problem, it is your belief about your bits! What if you had no one to compare yourself too? What if you looked at yourself as kindly as you do your friends? The secret to finding your own gorgeous style is to stop focusing on your shit bits and learn to look at your whole gorgeous self. Your outfit should be a celebration of who you are not an exercise in covering up what you think are not! It’s about looking at how your whole outfit works to accentuate your gorgeousness and camouflage those other bits!! It’s about creating shape and balance with your outfit. For example those ladies who are worried about their bottom will tend to wear a long shirt to cover that part of themselves up. What they really need to think about is creating width across their shoulders to add balance to their bottom! The secret to success is using your outfit to show off what you’ve got and take away the focus from your shit bits! A long necklace can get the eye looking up and down rather than across and a bright red hand bag will distract the eye away from your bottom. It’s all about getting people to look where you want them to look!
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Everyone is different and your body will keep evolving so learn to love what you have while you have it!!! When you look back 20 years ago did you really love your gorgeous body and celebrate it with your style? Do you really think you should have been so worried about your bits back then??
Make Peace with the Mirror
In 20 years from now gravity will have taken further hold and you will look back on now and think it wasn’t so bad! When you activate self-love, you will stop looking at yourself as a part, and instead see all of gorgeous you. Then you can look for outfits that dress all of you and express the very essence of who you are. It’s all about finding your very own unique style that says, “I’m celebrating who I am, I am gorgeous!”. You won’t find your own gorgeous style buried in a ritual of self loathing and telling yourself you have shit bits. Dressing yourself is not about impressing someone else it’s about you feeling gorgeous about being you. Make peace with the woman you see in the mirror, give her some love! Make the most of what you have now because in 20 years you will wish you had! Go ahead and celebrate all that you are and speak kindly to yourself, your daughters are listening. As the Founder of Finding Gorgeous, Mandy Hargreaves helps women to discover their very own unique, feminine style. Her recent workshop ‘Make Peace with the Mirror’ has been instrumental in helping thousands of women find and celebrate their Gorgeous! For more info go to www.findinggorgeous.com
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Are you ready to make peace with the mirror? What do you see when you look in the mirror? I’m guessing you notice that your body has changed, and you often find yourself comparing the body you have now, with what it once was! You look in the mirror and judge yourself for not being what you think you should be. The crazy thing is you’ve judged your body for years, and the truth is you never really celebrated what you had back then either, did you? Now when you look back at photos of yourself, you wish your body was as terrible as you thought it was back then! You wish you’d noticed how gorgeous your figure was, how supple your skin was, how strong your legs were. You wish you had celebrated the gorgeous woman you now realise you were. You would like to know how to really express yourself with your style, and be happy with your body. Instead you find yourself wearing the same old thing, thinking about how you can cover up and wearing an outfit that can only be referred to as “make do”! One thing is for sure, you don’t think about celebrating who you are, but you know you’d like too! The secret to making peace with the mirror is to learn to use your style to activate self-love, not self-loathing. The question is, will you look back on photos of now and think the same thing? OR will you finally learn how to make the most of gorgeous you and look back fondly on the photos you see? I know you want to feel gorgeous when you look in the mirror and you hear all the time that you should be happy with who you are. The big question is how?
Join Finding Gorgeous #makepeacewiththemirror project and find out how! • How to activate self-love with your style. • How to use your style to celebrate who you are. • How to dress your gorgeous body and truly express yourself. • And most importantly... How to make peace with the mirror!
“My biggest wish is for you to find the freedom to be you, to make peace with the mirror.”
F INDING
- Mandy Hargreaves Exclusive Reader Offer Claim your FREE GUIDE to find out
F INDING
HOW to Make Peace with the Mirror Email RWG to: info@findinggorgeous.com
www.findinggorgeous.com
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3 steps to Creating a
Powerful Personal Brand
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n 2017, we move in a fast paced world. We face tough competition for jobs, promotions and even for finding a life partner. In a timepoor, media-rich society, it can be hard to find a way to differentiate ourselves from other people. With a multitude of online and offline platforms, how can you communicate who you really are and what you have to give? What qualities do you want people to associate with you when they hear your name? To stand out from the crowd we need to present ourselves in an authentic, confident and credible way. How do we do this?
Through successful personal branding.
The phrase personal branding can sometimes sound cold in the embodiment of a self-obsessed digital ‘me’ generation. But it’s not. It is about identifying what makes you unique, communicating your true value and demonstrating what you’ve got to give the wider world. What is it you bring to the world that makes you a remarkable one of a kind? Every one of us is extraordinary and amazing with unique qualities to contribute to the world. How do you communicate your unique expertise and experience along with the qualities and values you want to be known for? Herein lies the problem. In such a rapid paced world we are visually judged by other people within a few seconds of meeting them. Without making the most of those opportunities to convey who we really
December 2017
are, we can be left without a voice, never having the chance to speak or to shine. One of the quickest and easiest ways to present a snapshot of ourselves projecting our inner confidence and our outer ‘brand’ is through our personal presentation. Life is full of choices. While some things are out of our control, one thing which we can mindfully, authentically choose each day is the how we express our personal brand. We choose the clothes we wear, the wardrobe we keep. We choose our personal style - but can we choose more wisely? Many of my clients do not have a clear picture of their own style. They have an inconsistent wardrobe, a bundle of threads with no consistency and or theme. Without a clear vision, showing clarity in presentation is very difficult. This is why I’ve created the 3 Steps to Style formula to help you define your personal style and take action to present your personal brand every day.
STEP 1 Personality
Think about what three words describe your personality. Are you warm? ambitious? practical? This question can be challenging as we may not have thought about describing ourselves before. Why not ask a partner of a friend how they would describe you.
STEP 2 Environment
Consider the three environments where you spend most of your time. Do you spend most of your time in the office, meeting clients, after work socialising or at home with the family?
STEP 3 Style Personality
What three words describe the style you would like to wear? The style you aspire to express? For example; classic, bold, effortless, polished, feminine. Think about a public figure or celebrity that you admire for the way they present themselves and describe the words that come up for you.
How do I define my style?
Bring your words together. Pick one from each step. What is one item from your wardrobe or one item you need to purchase which you can wear now to express your style and your personality in my daily environment?
Why not try:
Classic, ambitious, the office: Structured tailored blazer Polished, inspiring, client meeting: Polished silver necklace Bold, funny, weekend socialising: Colourful printed dress By choosing the style for the environment you are in and expressing your personality through one item, you are taking the first steps to presenting your authentic self. Personal branding is not about self-promotion. It is more about owning and communicating your true value and demonstrating what you’ve got to give the wider world. You have integrity, consistency and authenticity. By choosing to present your brand through your personal image and picking one item from your wardrobe that expresses your style personality, you are a step closer to letting the world know about its best kept secret – you.
Annie Sophia works within organisations and with individuals and to help them realise their full potential through authentic, confident and successful personal branding through image and style. www.anniesophia.com
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Do you ever feel like you are the world’s best kept secret?
image
first impression Creating a great
Let’s break it down
If there’s anything that you need, or want to achieve, then you will probably need someone’s help in attaining it! Even Helen Mirren, Sheryl Sandberg and Lady Gaga have all needed someone’s help to be great in business and achieve their accomplishments. I am regularly asked, ‘Can you fake making a great first impression?’ The broad response is ‘no’, because of the lack of
December 2017
congruence that is likely to occur between the main gestures, the body’s micro-signals and the spoken words. We can generally sense whether someone is being genuine or not, you may not be able to put your finger on it straight away but something will just feel a bit ‘off”. It’s true you’ll take the way someone styles themselves into consideration however you’ll often care more about their unconscious drivers. It’s what they stand for that matters to you most. Their looks and style make up the outside picture but it’s the inside that you’ll judge to see if it’s a match with yours. It doesn’t have to be the same but you will want to like them for what they offer. My advice is to practice being brilliantly you all the time, especially when you’re feeling vulnerable which is when we tend to want to hide the most. Here is a checklist for easy reference of the 12 surefire ways to make a brilliant first impression. Set yourself up for success prior to every meeting whether it is in business, love or play. 1. Know your outcome Be clear and concise with the outcome you want to achieve. Think about how you want to feel, act, behave and be received.
Julie-Anne Black is an International Speaker, Author, Mentor, Joy Advocate, Game Changer. Produce, write, direct, edit and star in your own brilliant life. Founder of Be Brilliant Now, specializing in assisting Business Professionals who want to be bold and irresistible communicators. For more info go to www.bebrilliantnow.com
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I
s it time to stop being your own bestkept secret? I'm curious, have you ever felt like you: • Were invisible, shy and wanted to hide? • Struggled to position yourself as the leader you're meant to be? • Sabotaged your confidence with feelings of self-doubt and uncertainty? • Felt overworked, overlooked, undervalued and unappreciated? • Worked hard and still missed out on cool opportunities? Whether you want to lead your team, win that promotion, inspire a group of people to action, or influence new clients to work with you, you need to make a brilliant impression to get in the door and stay there. This blueprint will give you the 12 Surefire ways to Get Noticed For All The Right Reasons so you can harness your talents as an influential leader and Be Brilliant Now.
2. Set your intention Now decide on the energy, vibe and attributes you want to share with others. 3. Signature Style Have fun with your outfits making your signature style showcase your personality. Present yourself as you want to be seen. 4. Be curious Learn as much about the other person or situation as possible. 5. Be yourself You are fabulous! So be at ease and have fun giving yourself permission to let your personality shine through. It will take the pressure off you when you are simply, naturally and divinely you. 6. Smile Smile with your heart being joyful, sincere and kind. 7. Be positive Speak positively about yourself and life. 8. Be present Honour the moment with your full presence and notice the response you get. You'll be glad you did. 9. Focus Take responsibility. Minimise distractions. Manage your moods and feelings effectively to create your desired reality. 10. Listen generously The greatest gift we can give someone is for them to feel heard. 11. Be authentic Take a genuine interest in the person in front of you. Be sincere with your responses. Have fun. Be playful. 12. Build rapport Become aware of the subtleties to know if your message is being received the way you want it to be and whether or not you’re getting the results you want. You’ll notice that each trait is very simple yet the magic and power comes when you combine them all together. Remember it’s who you are being that will make the greatest impression so you can be brilliant now.
lifestyle
Stress
1
MANAGEMENT
What is Stress?
ple all who look stressed. I see peo I see people all around me cture to stru k lac d and tired. They around me who look stresse res ctu stru all sm ple day life, the sim deal with the busy day to fast this h oug thr us e tur nur t us and that can be built to protec paced world. responding to any kind Stress is your body’s way of by l stressed, your body reacts of demand. When you fee re mo you e giv ich wh blood, releasing chemicals into the ss is stre r you if g thin d goo a is energy and strength. This an ger, but if it’s in response to dan l sica phy ar cle by sed cau and rgy ene ra ext the e no outlet for emotional stressor, you hav body r you h bot ct affe ely ers can adv strength, which is when it d. min r and you d, ts of stress can become tire People under large amoun es, etim Som . arly cle trate or think sick and unable to concen ns. ow akd bre l physica they even suffer mental and r. -minute goals are the answe one ss, stre h hig of es tim In One minute is a long time!
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2
One Minute Goals
• • • • • •
Breathe for one minute. Stretch for one minute. Draw a picture for one minute. Drink water for one minute. Walk for one minute. Close your eyes and count for one minute. • Gain some perspective for one minute.
3
Stress is a Choice
Remember we all have choice, we can choose to be busy and see it as busy, or we can choose stress. One of my favourite morning affirmations is from Louise Hay as below: “If you choose resentment, you will get more resentment, If you want joy you need to think joyful thoughts, If you want prosperity you need to open yourself up mentally, If you want to flow creatively then you need to open up and believe you are and the universe will allow.”
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Organise Yourself
I spend a great deal of time planning and preparing to avoid stress at all costs. I have a family to manage, I have a business to run, I have my health and wellbeing, both phys ical and mental to look after and I have frien ds, family and hobbies to enjoy. To manage all of this without stress, you need to keep things simple and take the time to organise your self. I am incredibly busy, but do not feel stres s, the key – I take the responsibility to make it my choice.
4
The Importance of Hobb
ies
Another way of dealing with stre ss is to develop and see the grea t importance of hobbies. Hobbi es need to be developed now – if not sooner! It’s vital to foster growth and dev elopment in this area. If you develop your hobbies each yea r, even by only a little bit, then when you have spare time you’ll be pas sionate about and skilled at you r hobbies.
When people reach their 60s and 70s, many find it hard to start a new hobby. They’ve worked hard, raised their family and now they have a little more time on their hands - but often it’s too late ! To start learning how to cook or studying photography at the age of 65 can be daunting, overwhelm ing and far too hard. When you look at those who are older than you who are socalled ‘retired’, the inspiring one s have many passions and interest s and bring great knowledge and conversation to the table. The y have more than ‘work’ as an inte rest and they worked on their hobbies early.
Simplify Structure Succeed, The practical toolkit for modern life. A MUST for every person wishing to live optimally both personally and professionally – your complete guide. Go to www.shannahkennedy.com
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lifestyle
“BALANCED BUSY”™
December 2017
I
’m often asked how I manage to ‘fit it all in’, juggling the various roles including those of a professional business-woman, wife, mother, community member, charity worker, friend, neighbour, and primary producer. To which I respond that I live by the philosophy of being ‘balanced busy’. Let me explain.... I recall one particular day, many years ago, when I found myself sitting on my kitchen floor, bawling, feeling totally overwhelmed with the despair and exhaustion of juggling kids and work and
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life, and decided there HAD to be a better way to live. So I chose to take control of my life…..and I did; and so can you.
It’s time to take control
You will need two things: a ‘special’ journal – one that’s new and nice and that you’ll enjoy writing in – and a magic wand – available at all good discount stores or toy shops! This journal will become your personalised “Design My Own Big Picture” instruction manual. Your magic wand gives you the permission, and the power, mentally, to overcome and remove
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Work-Life Balance. Words that we hear bandied around in business seminars, personal empowerment workshops, and a host of other settings. But what do these words actually MEAN?
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lifestyle
all limitations and restrictions; no more “I’m too old/too young”, “He/she won’t let me”, “I don’t have enough money”, “I don’t have the right education / qualifications”, etc. Just let go of all the limiting beliefs and negative self-talk when writing in this journal. On the front page of your journal, draw a 9-square grid: 3 rows, 3 columns in a square. Label the centre box ‘Me’, the three along the top, left to right, ‘Relationship’, ‘Children’, ‘Family and Friends’, the two side ones ‘Household’ and ‘Hobbies’, and the bottom three ‘Finances’, ‘Business/Career’ and ‘Contribution’. On the next page, write the heading ‘Me’. Then leave 5-6 blank pages, then put the heading ‘Relationship’ on top of the next page. Leave another 5-6 pages, and write the heading ‘Children’….and so on. Broadly speaking, these 9 categories cover all aspects of your life. The squares are in proportion, representing a ‘balanced’ life. Obviously this doesn’t mean that we spend exactly one-ninth of our time on each area, but rather that we should spend an appropriate proportionate amount of our time in each area for us to lead a balanced life and feel ‘in control’. Too often, we find that one or more of these 9 squares has become much bigger than its allotted portion, and generally when any area expands disproportionately, the ‘Me’ section shrinks to accommodate this, and often the ‘Relationship’ section suffers also. We then face additional challenges such as poor health or failed relationships on top of our time management juggle. Unless we are mindful of where we are heading or what we wish to accomplish, we simply act on autopilot, and live our lives by default, not by design. How do you want your ‘FUTURE’ to look? Have you ever thought about it? Really thought about it? Generally people can say what they don’t want, but are unable to clearly define what they do want.
Designing your future
Now, in your journal, over time, start listing points outlining how you’d like these areas of your life to look and feel. This journal is to become an ongoing tool in the creation of your life, so you might jot a few points under each heading to begin with, and then keep adding, reviewing, adjusting, eliminating and ticking off items over time. Each of the squares in your 9 square grid, representing the facets of your life, is proportionate; it is in balance. When you make mindful choices moving forwards, consider whether the activity you are planning to undertake, and to add to your diary or to-do list, is going to result in an imbalance. Does something else need to go before you add the new activity? Is the new activity really on the path to creating your ‘ideal’ life picture? We all have boundaries – guidelines by which we make decisions - around who we let into our homes, or what we deem as acceptable behaviour by ourselves and others. But what about our time? Isn’t that a precious resource? Yet too few of us have clear boundaries around what we are prepared to allow in to our time. Give a few minutes’ thought to what you are prepared to include in your allocation of time, and what activities warrant you using up precious hours of your life! Take a look at your 9-squares, and notice where the ‘Me’ square is: in the centre….and with good reason. As women, wives and mothers, more often than not, we are the hub of our family and our household. We must be mindful that when the ‘wheels fall off’ for us, this quite often results in a ripple-effect throughout our home and family, and possibly our business and work colleagues as well. As the ‘driver’ of your own life, and possibly
that of others around you, such as your children or your staff, it is important to ‘indulge’ in a moderate amount of socalled ‘selfishness’- a.k.a. self-preservation – in order to maintain the equilibrium of the bigger picture, not only for your own well-being, but also, often, for the greater good of those around you. So the next time you are super-busy, and thus inclined to skip your gym session, decline an invitation for coffee with friends, or not indulge in that rejuvenating hot bath (even for 10 minutes!), think again; it is these ‘little things’ that recharge our batteries, keep us in balance, and make the whole ‘chaos’ manageable and worthwhile.
Annual review
Once or twice a year, review the tasks that take up your time, and do an ‘audit’ on what needs to stay and what could be dumped or delegated; for me, housework, ironing, and bookkeeping are the suggested starting points for sharing the workload. By continually culling out the tasks that you don’t enjoy or which don’t add value to your life, you can maintain your level of busy-ness knowing that the activities you undertake do add value, to yourself, your family, your clients, your community, or the greater good, rather than just adding ‘busy-ness’ to your life. Additionally, when we are doing tasks which we enjoy, these tend to give us energy, whereas tasks we don’t enjoy quickly drain our energy. By spending most of our time performing the tasks we enjoy, we continually energise ourselves, and make our days much easier to manage.
Dianna Jacobsen is the founder of Shine At Business, and specialises in working with families and small business owners in all aspects of business development, financial strategic planning, and personal empowerment. For more information or other small business management tools, visit www.ShineAtBusiness.com.au.
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piece of you?
A
re you struggling with juggling all the demands on you? Do you suffer from guilt because you don’t think you can be the best at your job, being a partner, a mother, friend or sister? Do you wonder why everyone wants a piece of you? Do you wonder how long can you keep this struggle going? There is a better way! One day I received a phone call from Debbie. She was at the end of her tether and desperately wanted help. She was exhausted, stressed, frustrated and felt like she was a failure. Her relationships were crumbling and so was her health. Life was passing her by and she’d had enough. Over the next few months, through our coaching and mentoring sessions, Debbie and I came up with solutions which stopped her struggle and set her up to live the life she wanted to live. And … it didn’t involve running away to a deserted island forever.
Why? Why? Why?
It’s such a big question isn’t it? There have been many times when Debbie asked herself this question. When times have been tough, when it seemed like no end was in sight, when everyday felt the same, and she’d lost her energy, focus and determination; when she couldn’t remember why she was doing ‘it’ in the first place. If you are struggling with the juggle and demands of trying to be everything to everybody instead of asking yourself ‘why’? Ask yourself a better question:For what purpose am I doing this? Is it to achieve a goal? Is it to put your kids through good schools? Is it to buy a bigger house? Is it to save for a holiday? Is it to build your business? Is it to save for your retirement? Is it career advancement you are working so hard towards? Is it to feel fulfilled or feel part of something? Knowing your purpose becomes your driver. It’s what will keep you motivated and it gives you momentum. Your purpose is your why. With your purpose in hand, (I literally carry mine around with me) you can cross check your decision making against your purpose and ask yourself if that decision is in line with your purpose or the direction you want your life to go. You have confidence, clarity and courage to take action towards your purpose. This regular referencing to your purpose leads to living the life you want to live.
December 2017
When Debbie worked out her purpose life took on a whole new perspective full of direction, priorities, focus, congruence and conviction. Her purpose now guides her future and living the life she desires.
You can’t be everything to everybody
It’s not possible to be everything to everybody. It will only end in tears, feelings of guilt and a sense of failure. Take some of the pressure off yourself by realising this now. If you are juggling too many things and the pressure is intense what needs to change? Something has to give. Make sure it’s something and not someone and that someone isn’t you.
Don’t be afraid to seek help when you need it
Debbie recognised there had to be a better way so she picked up the phone and asked for help. Know that you are not alone and there are others who have gone before you. Talk to people and work out what others have done that’s worked and what to avoid. Find a mentor. Listen and learn. One of the things I worked on with Debbie was to come up with a list of what her daily, weekly and monthly tasks were. From there Debbie worked out where the pain points were and what she could realistically pass to someone else by outsourcing. If paying someone to do your ironing means you get your Sunday night back to watch a movie with your partner in peace and with presence then it’s worth it. Think of outsourcing as an investment in your relationships. Not everyone is good at everything so don’t be too harsh on yourself. If you know you are not an organised person ask for help from someone you know who’s organised. How do they do it? What can you do to be more organised?
You have a choice with the voice
Women are pretty good at being super tough on themselves. We love to listen to the chatterbox in our head who puts us down, questions our abilities and depletes our confidence. We are masters of that game. Yet we are smarter than the chatterbox who wants to put us down. There are many tips and tricks to overcome and shut down that un-resourceful chatterbox. First and foremost is recognising that you are in charge of you and you have a choice. Do you listen and let the chatterbox tell you how it’s going to be or do you take charge and be the master of your mind? Learn the skill of turning the unresourceful chatterbox into the resourceful one. If you don’t, who will? It’s your choice. 64
Life is a series of phases
It’s so easy for us to have a fall-back position of thinking the situation we are in is never going to end yet we know this isn’t true. We don’t stay 5 years old forever. Just like the weather has seasons, our lives have phases. Each phase will pass just like the seasons pass. Recognising this is essential in how you go about dealing with each phase. Once you recognise the phase work out what are the beliefs skills, knowledge, and support you are going to need in that phase - just like you need a jumper in winter. What’s going to get you through that phase?
Make time for you
So many women fall into the same trap Debbie did by not allocating some time in her schedule for herself. Women, particularly mothers, have a tendency to put everyone else’s needs before their own. This is all very well until it gets out of hand. It’s imperative there is some time in your schedule for you. If you keep telling yourself there is no time for you to look after yourself then there won’t be. Start with small amounts of time and build up. Think of this as an investment in your health and wellbeing. Debbie made changes which allowed her to build back in some health and fitness and some time for relaxation which allowed for clearing the head. Everyone has different ways of relaxing so what worked for her might be different for you but one thing we know for sure is if you fall apart other people have to pick up the pieces so do what you can now before that happens. If you can’t look after your needs properly how can you look after the needs of anyone else?
Bringing it all together
Author Carlos Castaneda said “We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong – the amount of work is the same” With strategies and new skills at hand Debbie started saying no to things that didn’t fit with her purpose and yes to things that were taking her in the right direction. Small changes made a huge difference to how Debbie feels about her life and those she shares her life with. The guilt is gone and joy has taken its place. Jodie Spiteri-James is the founder, head coach and facilitator at Mind Over Matter Coaching and Mentoring specializing in assisting executive women, leaders and business owners overcome the hurdles in the way of achieving goals and exceptional business outcomes. For more info go to www. mindovermattercoaching.com.au
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Does everybody want a
Speech 30 second
by Bryan Dyson - Former CEO of Coca Cola
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that Work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – Family, Health, Friends and Spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life. Work efficiently during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family, friends and have proper rest
“Value has a value only if it’s value is valued”
Brian Dyson (Former CEO Coca Cola)
WIN A
LUXURY HOLIDAY
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NOW YOU’RE FLYING