Reaper magazine issue 8 by Reaper Magazine

ISSUE 08

CONTENT Slippery when Wet - Interview

Alternative Model - Kimberleigh Fae Chaye Interview

Fuzzy - Album Review

The SlashDogs - Album Review

Gig Reviews

Gig Guide

Game Review - Catherine

Game - Review - DeadPool

Series Review - Santa Clarita Diet

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 11 Review

Les, as a new member, how does it feel to be part of the band? Kieron: Uhhhhhhhhhh… Les? Jadd: I love this fucking band, they are thee best band in the fucking world, ever. Waldo: (Les’s answer). As a new-ish/existing member, he’s been a great addition to the band. For people who have not heard your music before, how would you describe it to them? Kieron: I would describe it as similar to finding money in your pocket, you aren’t interested until you find us for the first time, and then, you just want more! Jadd: We are a fast, melodic & aggressive Skapunk band. Ballistic on-stage performances have been keeping the ska kids skankin’ and the punkrockers circle pitting. Our songs are filled with catchy sing-along choruses, punchy horns and dive-bombing guitars. Waldo: Pacey, energy-filled rock. The brassy trombone brings warmth to our punk style. Brad: Catchy, Fast-Paced, Ska-Punk Radness. You can sing along, Dance along, mosh along. It’s got a little something for everybody that loves Punk Rock.

Brad: It’s a dream come true. I’m blessed and Humbled to be playing alongside such Handsome and Talented Rock Geniuses. Les: I always loved watching a SWW show. The pure, raw punk rock attitude and the live energy is always insane. Going from spectator to band member has been such a privilege and a fat jol. Which venues have you not played just yet but is on your list for the future? Kieron: To me, it doesn’t really matter where we play, just as long as we are playing! Jadd: I think all of us are so amped to play The Good Luck Bar! We love playing at public pools & in backyards…there are many we have not played as yet…that’s soon to change. Waldo: An old age home!

Are you currently working on any new songs or projects?

Brad: There’s many great venues I’d like to play. Good Luck Bar, Arcade Empire, a stage at Oppikoppi would be nice.

Kieron: We are always working on new songs, whether it be our own or a cover, we are continuously looking for ways to keep our set fresh!

If you could each use one word to describe your performances, what would they be?

Jadd: Yes indeed! We have been working with JP at B-Sharp Studios for the past few months, and are in the final stages of production on our debut album. Shall keep you all posted on release dates. Waldo: Yip, constantly working on fresh ideas inspired by our peers and mentors. Brad: Yes! We’re putting finishing touches on our debut release. And we write new material as often as we can.

Kieron: ORGASMICMOISTVOLUPTUOUS (Yes it exists, pause, not really) Jadd: Assertive Waldo: Controlled / focused. Brad: Frantic? Sweaty? Hectic? Photogenic? Fun? Les: Moist!

What has been the craziest thing to happen to you guys, while on stage? Kieron: The craziest thing for me would be the show where Jadd snapped 4 strings, his guitar quickly turned into a Banjo! OR the time Jadd threw a skateboard into the fan at Rumours Lounge! OR The time Jadd played a beer pong comp before a show we played in Benoni, and could literally barely stand on stage! So basically, the craziest thing to happen to us on stage is Jadd! Jadd: Not remember being on the stage. Waldo: Jadd “hitting” the drums as hard as I was… (Benoni Show) Brad: I got a bit over excited as I jumped during a song. I botched the Landing and pretty much fell off stage. But Recovered like a Baaws! Who writes the lyrics and music for your songs? Kieron: Lyrics are written primarily by Jadd with me being his assistant lyricist hahahaha. Music is written as a band but the new ideas are either sparked by a guitar riff from Jadd or Brad. Jadd: By Jadd, so thank fuck Brad “the big guns” Wiggins joined the band as a real guitarist. Waldo: The axe men, and Kez.

Band bickering does exist everywhere. We know when and where to draw the line and we come to an agreement/consensus then work on it. For our style of music, conflicting thoughts is a major facet so it actually helps us to be productive in our thought process rather than argue or disagree. Brad: We never really disagree beyond what naturally happens in the creative process. We all respect each other, we’re all mates and we all love the same music so We don’t clash. Have any of you ever forgotten the words or melody to a song while performing? Kieron: Many many many many times hahahha the trick is to make something up or mumble random words… Chances are the crowd won’t even notice hahahahaha Jadd: Uhhhhh yes! We are all guilty of that from time to time. Waldo: Of course! We’ve all had our moments. How we gel and get over it and onto the next word/line/verse is the key. We’ve never really struggled pulling things back into line after a slight mishap. Brad: All of us have at one point or another.

Brad: We have a sweet democracy going. Jadd writes the Lyrics (being the singer) and we all work together on the music. I (Brad) generally come up with the idea and we all add, remove, Splice and Change until we’re all happy and enjoy the song. How often, if ever, do you guys clash or disagree while producing your songs? Kieron: Very rarely, we have come to terms with critiquing one another. Hey Brad, you still smell funny! Jadd: We have never clashed, nor disagreed. We are all in the same boat, we all love the same music, we all love each other’s ideas and support one another’s creative outbursts. Waldo: Enough for a healthy band relationship.

Kimberleigh Fae Chaye

RM1: How would you introduce yourself to our readers? K: That loud female that’s always overdressed and right infront at gigs. Shares a lot of memes and shit on Facebook, basically feeds her ego off online drama. Enjoys tequila, possibly too much. Has a modelling page on Facebook that she forgets to update accordingly. Works too much. Is quirky and clumsy. Takes too many selfies. Has a meme addiction. Loves music, does art. *insert generic “I’m amazing please love me” stuff in the rest of this paragraph because I don’t know how else to describe myself. RM:When, how and why did you first get involved in the modeling industry? K: I Think I was about 13, and my mom sent me to this really weird modelling agency to keep me out of trouble, I didn’t fit in, and it really didn’t last long, especially after I was told to leave my personality at the door because I’m just a walking clothes hanger. I didn’t join another agency after that, and then when I was 16 I was Approached by SAGS Dark Gothic Elegance to collaborate on a few shoots and assist with marketing (by this time I had quite a large social media following) , I was hesitant but eventually agreed to the shoots, and I really enjoyed it, more because I could be myself infront of that camera, instead of a cookie-cutter “smile and wave” kind of person that the agency expected me to be. RM: What are your personal and professional goals? Where do you see yourself in five to ten years? K: Professionally as a model, to be honest NO IDEA, I kind of just do it as a side project because I’m a little bit of a narcissist. I guess I’d like to eventually appear in the Local Scene’s adverts, Posters, Music Videos, etc. I’ve found myself getting a lot more involved in Events Organisation and assisting with bands in the scene more often than focusing on my modelling. I also have a full time job as a Customer Services Manager in Logistics that takes up most of my time, and my goal in 10 years is to be managing my own branch for this same company. I’m also really looking forward to the memes in 10 years time. RM: How often are you modeling and what does it usually consist of? K: Every now and then when I find the time, although I’m trying to manage to get a shoot in each month (which is hard because my time management is absolute shit), When I started out I was doing a lot of conceptual and darker shoots, which took a shit ton of time to plan and get everything in order, and even longer to shoot and edit due to the intricate concepts myself and photographers had planned. Lately I’ve been getting into more portraiture, basic fantasy concept stuff, lingerie, and lighter stuff just to balance out the portfolio. I’ve got quite a lot planned over the next few months with the likes of Jes Hunter, Conrad Knuist, Lee Steele, Anne Marks and a whole lot more, so be sure to keep an eye out. RM: Please tell us about the best and/or worst experiences you’ve had so far in modeling. K: The best experience so far has been with Conrad Knuist , I’m normally so weird and awkward when it comes to poses and the whole issue of what to do with my hands without looking like a complete idiot, and Conrad had the most amazing set up in his studio involving a TV with poses he had selected before the shoot. It was such a breeze to add it my own style and have something to work off of. Something that comes in as a close second best was my shoot with Onyksi Keiju and Jes Hunter, we decided to do a fantasy kind of vibe with a butt-load of flour for effect, we went down to this really gross river/stream in Edenvale, and got submerged, it was so much fun! Even though we thought we were going to fucking die afterwards! I think I’ll keep the bad experiences to myself at risk of burning bridges.

RM: Have you had anything funny, embarrassing or completely out of the ordinary happen during your modeling career? K: Not necessarily , you have your few nip-slips here and there, and sometimes shit happens, but it should all just be taken with a pinch of salt, we’re all humans after all. RM: Is there anything you would change about the modeling industry if you could? K: The general modelling Industry, yes. Times are changing, not everyone is cookie-cutter “Look-the-same” anymore, In*fact, there are very few people I know who fit into their mould of what women should be. With the alternative modeling industry, not at all. I think things are fine the way they are. RM: Please share something people don’t know about you. K: Honestly, there isn’t much people don’t know about me if they’ve taken the time to sit down and talk to me. Here’s a brief FYI: I moved out of the house at 14 years old, and I’ve been working and doing my own thing since then. My family thought I’d be the 1 child of the 7 of us to make nothing of my life, but I kept pushing, and now, at 20 years old, I’m in a management position for a reputable company, and I’m the only one that got myself here, without a matric, and without “parents” pushing me to the right direction. I’m no saint, and I’ve dealt with my fair share of abusing narcotics and dark times, But I’ve been sober for a few years now and I’ll never go back. Other than that, I’m obsessed with reading 1920’s fiction. RM: Do you have any fears or phobias? K: Birds! Hate Them! Won’t cross the street if there’s one in the way… This stems from a really bad experience as a child… Don’t ask.

RM: Who inspires you? Do you have an idol? Or peers that encourage you? Music? Film? K: That’s a difficult one, because I’m easily inspired, by people that I meet, conversations that I have, I listen to a lot of music as inspiration, and there are so many pages on social media that I follow that all add that extra bit of inspiration to my life. Locally I have a few idols that I look up to and try to learn as much I can from them (mostly by stalking them on social media) … RM: Is alternative modelling easy to get into? Is there a lot of competition for work? K: I wouldn’t say it’s all that difficult to get into if you have the right contacts and you’ve done your homework, I see it more as a great platform to express your individuality and create art with your body , we all have our own perception of beauty, so if your look is what’s needed to suit a concept that a photographer or artist has come up with, you’ll be the first to know. I wouldn’t really know if it’s all that difficult to find work in the industry, as it’s more of a side-line project for me and I shoot when I can, I come up with a few concepts, send them out to photographers, and work on the result together to create something beautiful. RM: What would be your advice to anyone looking to get involved in alt-modelling? K: Be careful of who approaches you and what they’re offering, it’s a market that’s very easily targeted by creeps looking to get a few really tacky snaps of your body, no one deserves that, ALWAYS check portfolios/websites etc. Speak to models that have shot with those people before. It’s okay to say no if you don’t like their work, or if something seems off. The last thing you want is for your not-so-pretty nude images to be leaked at a later stage of your career if you ever make it big, or for your children to come across those images one day. Other than that, always be yourself, Alternative modeling is great for expression and accentuating your individualism. Pull your funny faces, be your quirky clumsy self if you are that way, it’s those things that will add to your look, and most photographers feed off of that strong personality, and will then eventually book you for more shoots. And finally, just have fun, don’t let your head grow to the size of a beach ball, no one likes a stuck up bitch with their heads up their asses RM: What’s next for Kimmy Fae Chaye K: I’ve just helped start up an events management company called Legion Events SA, we’re looking at bringing the scene in the East Rand back to what it was before The Doors closed. We’ve obtained contracts with a few venues and we’re looking at setting up some fucking amazing gigs in 2017 . We’re also branching into band and artist management. So most of my focus will be on my full time job, with Legion Events on the side, and then doing a few shoots here and there wherever I can squeeze them in. . Other than that, catch me at BurnOut Pub and Grill on Weekends, where I work as a bar tender for free drinks

ALBUM REVIEW

Now long past the point of being a comical, oneoff heavy metal cover band, WWE’s Chris Jericho & Stuck Mojo’s Rich Ward have taken Fozzy to the next level, with a string of albums containing all-original material and tours around the world under their belt, their creation is now finally being taken seriously by fans. Do You Want to Start a War is their sixth studio album, and follows up the well received Sin and Bones from 2012. Joining in on the fun here are band mates Billy Grey (guitar), Paul Di Leo (bass), and Frank Fontsere (drums). The formula of the last few albums hasn’t changed all that much, with Fozzy once again mixing modern metal attitude with classic metal elements. Both the title track and “Bad Tattoo” hit hard, with Ward & Grey’s thick riffing providing the foundation for Jericho’s forceful vocal delivery. Each one heavy & memorable, and a great start to this very solid album. The single “Lights Go Out” contains a whopper of a heavy riff and a catchy, anthemic chorus driven home by Jericho. The first ballad on the album comes in the form of “Die With You”, a hook filled number that should be a hit with the ladies, as Jericho & Ward lay down some soaring vocal harmonies together. Steel Panther’s Michael Starr guests on second vocal on the upbeat “Tonite”, while “Brides of Fire” delivers some of the albums heaviest riffs & shredding guitar work, Ward’s death metal growls playing off Jericho’s melodic metal screams perfectly. The band slows down for the doom meets stoner vibe of “One Crazed Anarchist”, another heavy yet catchy track that again sees an appear6

ance from Ward’s extreme vocals. “Unstoppable” has more of a power/prog metal feel, and features Christie Cook in a duet with Jericho that turns into quite an engaging, catchy number. The band mixes gothic rock, pop, and death metal on the excellent “Scarecrow”, another tune with some stellar guitar work from the Ward/Grey duo. “No Good Way” features propulsive rhythms underneath some thick riffs, a somber lyric dealing with the topic of suicide that Jericho adds just the right tone to. That brings us to the surprisingly delightful cover of ABBA’s “SOS”, a really fun romp through this pop classic, with Jericho’s charming vocals floating over big riffs, piano, synths, and bombastic drum work. It’s a complete blast and one of the better covers I’ve heard in some time. Do You Wanna Start a War ends with the crunchy “Witchery”, a powerful track that throws power metal, extreme metal, and loads of melody at the listener, as Ward stabs his growls around Jericho’s high pitched wailing and a boatload of riffs entices the listener at every moment. Time will tell if Do You Wanna Start a War is finally the album that catapults Fozzy as serious players on the heavy metal scene, but it’s certainly another in a very strong line of fun releases from them that shows how capable they are at creating heavy & melodic music that draws in both modern & classic metal elements. Judging by the early sales numbers of the new CD, it seems that the metal community is starting to take notice.

THE SLASHDOGS By Julia Brooks

The Slashdogs released their new album, The Wail, in the first week of January this year and I have to say I am loving it. The band last released an album in May of 2014 called Progress Through Plunder which compiled of 10 songs. This new album having only half that, seems to still hold up to the bands reputation. Since it’s a short album I feel like we can go over each track and talk about them for listeners who want to get an understanding of The Slashdogs. Now the first song on the album is called “Parting Shot”. The song kicks off the album with a clean guitar introduction which sets a great rock vibe for the rest of the album. As soon as the song reaches the chorus, you just want to join in the perfect male harmony between the lead vocals of Ryan Tarboton and backup vocals of Paul Gioia who recorded, produced, engineered and mixed this album with the help of Francois Lessing. This is probably the best male harmony I have ever heard. The next track, “Ride on” is a very rock ‘n roll kind of song with outlaw lyrics and a badass attitude. The first half of the track is great and this band colours outside the lines so naturally ended the song in a different way you would think. “Some

Kind of Heaven” is bound to get you jamming with its faster paced singing and the addition of a couple secret weapons. The song ends off sounding as though a different song. It goes from an upbeat mash of instruments to a slower more basic combo of vocals and guitar. The next is the longest track on the album with six minutes of music under its belt. “In Liverpool” starts with the softest intro of the album. The vocals on this song are the most lay back of their songs in my eyes. Now instead of jumping or head banging, the motion that would feel most appropriate would be swaying and maybe holding up a lighter to intensify the ambiance that comes with soft rock ‘n roll. The song ends off with the sound of church bells fading into the distance. Finally is a song called “Too Close To See”. This song will get your feet tapping again as well as your head bobbing. Ryan shows some raw vocals in a few spots and uses the calmer melody gaps really well. I love the addition of the ride at the end and think it was a great idea. I really like this song and it’s a great one to end on. Overall I think this album really is a good one and I would recommend it to anyone who loves rock ‘n roll. 7

GIG REVIEW

By Colleen Wentzel

As a Rumours Rock City virgin, I have to say that my first time to the new bigger, better rocking venue really blew my mind. Who can resist an evening out in Jozi when Josè (gold of course), good friends, and damn fine music are on offer? So off we ventured to Rumours Rock City on Friday, 6 January, to see for ourselves what all the hype was about. For the first time on the brand new stage, three fantastic rock bands, World War Me, Dirty Moonshine and Man as Machine all delivered what I can call epic, rocking performances in their own right. Did they disappoint? Never! And this is why I support SA music, because damn – we have amazing talent in these artists. As for the venue – the sound could not be faulted, lighting was spot on (no pun intended), the service was great, drinks were cold, and overall, the evening made me realise that we have the best talent right here in SA, performing in one of the ‘baddest’ venues Jo’burg has to offer. First up was World War Me, and from the minute they got on stage, the venue became alive. Their set was awesome, and it was evident that WWM lost themselves in their music and have a passion for what they do. Each and every chord which hit my ears, made me wonder why the hell 8

I have never seen them perform live before as the professionalism and coherency between them was incredible! They had great energy and passion throughout their performance, and this was evident in the now-growing crowd in front of the stage, and the fact that they kept my ears excited throughout. Conway and these Benoni boys put on a damn fine performance!

World War Me. Photo Credit: SnapBack Photography

Next up was Dirty Moonshine, and I could tell they were amped to get up to perform, and their energy could definitely be felt the minute they stepped on stage. Each member of the band had incredible and sexy stage presence and their energy was incredibly contagious. With some rich vocals and a dirty, deep texture, each song was perfectly executed, and all I can say is, what an incredibly talented band. I enjoyed their cover of ‘Bad Things’, and found myself rocking along to Roy’s unique, raw take on this version. Everything about Dirty Moonshine, says to ‘watch this space’. There is just something about this band that I enjoy!

Dirty Moonshine. Photo Credit: SnapBack Photography

Man as Machine. Photo Credit: SnapBack Photography

And just as I thought the evening couldn’t get any better after those two performances, enter Man As Machine! By now the large crowd of spirited fans had gathered in front of the stage, ready to rock and I could tell that we were in for quite a thunderous performance. I have never seen them perform live, and needless to say, I was blown away. Man As Machine delivered the complete package, and the talent in this band is evidently mind-blowing! With some amazing vocals from Rob Visser, and an overall cutting edge performance from the rest of the MAM crew, it

is evident why they are compared to the likes of Alter Bridge! They delivered a gratifying set which was real, rich, oh so loud! As I skimmed the room, I could see that it was not just me who was having a rocking time - it was an epic evening, with satisfied faces and incredible S.A. talent all round. Congratulations to Fred and his team - the venue is fantastic, and to the bands that kept us all entertained - Rock on! 9

GIG GUIDE APR

07 FRI

APR

08 SAT

APR

SUN APR

14 FRI

APR

15 SAT

APR

15 SAT

DANGER NOODLE BUCK & HOG GREENSIDE

Pollinator | Dirty Moonshine | The Medicine Dolls (CPT) | Wolf Dagger (CPT)” R40 Entrance

EAT A D!#K FEST

SUNDOWNERS (ALBERTON) - JHB Riddlebreak | Octainium | Maximum Carnage | Loose Draw and more.

R50 Entrance

PUNK FUCK COME NAKED PUNK FUCK COME NAKED - JHB

Free Money | TCIYF | Write Off | Medicine Dolls and more. R20 Entrance

THE PRAWN AWAKENS RUMOURS ROCK CITY - JHB Satanic Dagga Orgy | BOXER | The Shabs

BROCHELLA

SUNDOWNERS (ALBERTON) - JHB The Shabs | Slippery When Wet | South Shore Ramblers at Sundowners R50 Entrance

APR

ARCADE EMPIRE- PTA Desmond and the Tutus | Yo Grapes | IV4 and more. R50 Entrance

FRI

APR

22 SAT

APR

ONEDAYSKY: ALISTAIR’S FAREWELL SUNDOWNERS (ALBERTON) JHB

OneDaySky | Climate Control | Alchemy | 13th Empire R30 Entrance

AANDKLAS HATFIELD - PTA Black Cat Bones | The Lebowski R30 Entrance

SAT

APR

28 FRI

APR

29 SAT

MAY

06 SAT

TESSERACT LIVE IN CAPE TOWN THE MERCURY LIVE - CPT Tesseract | Verona Walls R450

TESSERACT LIVE IN JOHANNESBURG RUMOURS ROCK CITY - JHB

Tesseract | Deity’s Muse | Red Helen | Only Forever. R450 Entrance

WACKEN METAL BATTLE SOUTH AFRICA FINAL RUMOURS ROCK CITY - JHB

GAME REVIEW

CATHERINE Catherine isn’t like other video games. It isn’t about saving the world, rescuing a princess, or slaughtering scores of nameless troops. It is, instead, about a regular guy in over his head. That guy is Vincent, a soft-spoken man so afraid of confrontation that he refuses to take control of events that change the course of his life. During the day, Vincent’s attempts to make sense of his romantic entanglements lead to fear and desperation. At night, that desperation translates to cruel nightmares in which Vincent scrambles up an increasingly complex tower of emotions. Would you have guessed that Catherine is a puzzle game from such a premise? Yet, this is no ordinary puzzle game. Both Catherine’s story and gameplay are so stimulating that they allow you to share in Vincent’s increasing alarm as he struggles to find balance in his life--and to stay alive in his terrifying dreams. The game’s difficulty can prove daunting, and scattered camera and control quirks sometimes hinder the fun. But if you’ve got the right amount of courage and stamina, Catherine rewards you with an unusual experience you aren’t apt to forget. Vincent isn’t a typical hero. He isn’t interested in greatness. If anything, he’d rather keep things just as they are: He thrives on status quo. His girlfriend Katherine (with a “K”) wants to get married, which is a prospect that Vincent hardly embraces, either outwardly or inwardly. Faced with a decision he’d rather not make, Vincent relaxes at his favorite bar, The Stray Sheep, where he meets another girl, Catherine (with a “C”). Catherine is the polar opposite of Katherine. Catherine is perky and fun loving, while Katherine is focused and grounded. Catherine represents

fun and freedom; Katherine represents comfort and commitment. After his meeting with this seductress, Vincent wakes the next morning--with her next to him in bed. Thus, Vincent’s staid life is disrupted by this vivacious woman who soon proves to have a severe jealous streak. Vincent better not cheat on her, she proclaims; who knows what might happen? And Vincent, petrified by this sinister turn--while still intrigued by her ample physical assets--is scared into inaction. The majority of the story is told through attractive anime cutscenes that do an excellent job of conveying Vincent’s anxiety. Not only must he keep these two women from meeting each other, but he must also make sense of his own conflicting desires. In the most stressful moments, the camera zooms in close, showing his flustered expression and globules of sweat dripping down his face. Later in the game, Vincent’s rising exhaustion comes through loud and clear when he rests his head on the table while his close buddies express their concern. A scene in which Katherine unexpectedly knocks at his apartment door erupts with more intensity than most games deliver with 10 minutes’ worth of giant explosions and high-speed car chases. The talented voice cast makes these characters believable. The delivery is occasionally stilted when the voice actor has to sync his or her lines to lip movements created for the original Japanese voice-over. But actor Troy Baker effortlessly expresses Vincent’s mood swings between fatigue and fright without making such extremes seem jarring. Catherine is a character study, but it is more absorbing than most game stories: Vincent is likeable and human, and you care about 12

his path. You want him to find direction. Catherine is the work of the same team that developed the Persona role-playing games. And though Catherine is not an RPG, if you’ve played the Persona games, some elements here will be familiar. Most notably, the day is separated into two vastly different portions. While Vincent is awake, you roam about The Stray Sheep. Here, you chat with your friends and strangers in the booths and at the bar. The elderly twins at The Stray Sheep have some cryptic comments for you (“Would you like to speak to Lindsay?” “Would you like to speak to Martha?”), and television newscasts and conversation threads discuss mysterious local deaths that seem connected to Vincent’s haunted nightmares. You also receive text messages on your cell phone from both of your ladies-in-waiting. Opening a text from Katherine is accompanied by a whispered sigh; opening one from

choose to be one or the other and select actions that obviously push the meter in that direction. Catherine isn’t so cut and dry, and as a result, you are more likely to answer honestly, rather than “game” the system.

Catherine rings out a tinkling giggle. These effects encapsulate the women’s traits effectively, cramming their entire personalities (and Vincent’s perception of them) into a single audio cue. But you don’t just mull over these texts when you receive them: You also reply by choosing from a series of canned sentences. How you respond to these texts and the choices you make during other opportunities influence a morality meter of sorts. This isn’t the typical good-versus-bad meter you find in other games, however; it’s more of a freedom-versus-order meter. Responses that favor Catherine are on the chaotic side; those favoring Katherine are more disciplined. Where you stand on this meter determines how Vincent reacts to certain situations during cutscenes--and it also helps determine which one of the multiple endings you receive. The angel/devil graphic that pops up every time the meter is evoked is intrusive. Nevertheless, it’s refreshing to see the ideas of good and bad cast aside in favor of less judgmental attitudes. Vincent might be cheating, but he’s not a bad guy (nor an innocent one). Most games focusing on polar-opposite morals make it easy to follow a good or evil path; you just

It isn’t just the atmosphere that makes climbing these towers so intense. The puzzles are deviously constructed, each one making it more difficult to figure out how to arrange blocks in ways that allow you to reach the pinnacle. You have to think from the top down, often many steps ahead, which isn’t a simple task. But you don’t get all the time in the world to figure it out. The tower is slowly falling to pieces under you and forces you to stay on the move. Each level is a pressure cooker, threatening to boil over if you take too long or box yourself into a situation impossible to escape. You collect pillows that are used as continues, encounter one or two checkpoints on your way up, and can undo a certain number of moves. But even then, on medium and hard difficulties, Catherine is wickedly difficult. Later puzzles are hard enough to exhaust you, featuring ice blocks that cause you to slide off ledges, bombs that cause nearby blocks to crumble, and monster blocks that lick you to death if you hang from them. The emotion you can expect to experience while playing? Panic.

Vincent’s fears come to a head once he staggers home from The Stray Sheep and falls asleep. Thus begins the second portion of your day: Vincent’s nightmares. In his nightmares, Vincent carries a pillow, is clad only in his boxer shorts, and has sheep horns fastened to the side of his head. At the start of each dream, half-sheep Vincent appears at the bottom of a tall tower of blocks. Your goal is to climb to the exit at the top by pushing and pulling these blocks into arrangements that allow passage. Sound simple? After the introductory levels, it’s terrifying. Levels are separated into such telling themes as “Inquisition” and “Prison of Despair.” Torture devices and the symbols of Mars and Venus hang above ledges splattered with dark-red blood. Bleating sheep cling to icy blocks as they swirl about the gigantic chamber, lit by the sunlight seeping through stained-glass windows. All the while, remixes of dramatic and popular classical music sound forth, urging you upward. The works chosen--Dvorak’s New World Symphony, Mussorgsky’s Pictures at an Exhibition, and others--are common in symphonic halls the world over. Much of the music is discordant or rhythmically unusual, which elicits the right degree of tension. And each piece is absolutely apt; Borodin’s Polovtsian Dances, for example, features a climbing-and-falling theme that perfectly mirrors the gameplay.

you climbed, how many piles of gold you collected on the way up, and the like. Then you receive a medal--bronze, silver, or gold--while listening to the joyous refrains of the “Hallelujah Chorus.” Before you move to the next level, you enter a foyer populated by anthropomorphic sheep where you can save your game and catch your breath. Who are these sheep? Why do they insist that they are normal and you’re the monster? You eventually make connections between the real world and that of your dreams.

And that’s just while playing standard levels. End-chapter bosses terrorize you further, threatening to stab you with forks or rain down hearts on you that reverse your controls. These boss levels also tend to move the camera around to give you a good look at the monstrosity chasing you up the tower. These shifts play with your perspective to the game’s detriment; such indulgences shouldn’t come at the price of a useful camera view. Even in standard stages, the camera can be a nuisance, given that Vincent can climb behind blocks and become difficult or even impossible to see, even when panning the camera around as far as it will go. The controls, too, might occasionally get in the way. They’re generally fine, but if Vincent is in the middle of an animation, he may not immediately respond to your button press. In a hurry, you might move a different block than the one you intended. The resulting challenge is sometimes exhausting. If you find Catherine overly difficult, you can play on easy, though “easy” isn’t the same as “cakewalk.” And should you find yourself stuck on a level in the middle of the stage, you’ll have to quit out and return to The Stray Sheep because only there can you change the difficulty level. In Catherine, however, hard work reaps great rewards. When Vincent inches closer to his destination, a clanging bell signals his coming triumph. Once he reaches the top, Vincent cries out in elation--and so will you. The puzzles are fiendish but not impossible, and solving the tougher ones makes you feel incredibly smart. You get a tally of how well you did based on how quickly

Before you leave this safe area and move to the next tower, you enter a claustrophobic confessional, where a disembodied voice forces you to answer a question before continuing. These questions affect your freedom/order meter. And again, because there’s no clear good or bad answer, you may be tempted to answer honestly. Some of these questions are straightforward. (“Is it easier to love or to be loved?”) Others are ludicrous. (“Would you have sex with a ghost if it were attractive enough?”) One nice touch: If you reload and play a stage again, the questions are different, giving the impression that there must be loads of them. Another nice touch: A pie graph shows you how other players answered. There’s more to Catherine than its single-player campaign. If you earn enough gold medals (not an easy task), you unlock randomly created trial levels for one or two players. And if you finish the campaign, you unlock a short-lived but hysterical competitive mode. It’s a shame the barrier to unlock this mode is so high because it’s a blast to find ways to hinder your opponent while racing to the top of your shared tower. And to make the proceedings even more absurd, the announcer offers bizarre suggestions. (“Players must now refrain from using the word ‘the’ while playing this round.”) But such silliness is the exception in Catherine, rather than the rule. This story-heavy puzzler is mature and occasionally profound, exploring themes like sexual fidelity, personal responsibility, and trust. Catherine doesn’t just challenge your hand/eye coordination: It challenges your intellect and your emotions.

GAME REVIEW

DEADPOOL

Deadpool’s defining characteristic seems to be his uncensored personality. But if you spend time with this nearly immortal superhero, you discover that his most important traits are the scars he’s burdened with. He dons a skintight suit that covers every inch of his disfigured body, complete with a mask that lacks even a basic mouth hole. However, Deadpool’s scars aren’t limited to physical imperfections. His mind is as damaged as his monstrous skin. Psychotic bouts affect his every mood, creating a character whose incredible powers are compromised by the hardships he carries. This dichotomy is realized all too well in this action-heavy beat-’em-up. Playful fight sequences are hampered by underlying flaws in the core mechanics, dragging this off-kilter adventure down from its promising perch. Deadpool is a character whose upfront nature makes him impossible to ignore. Always ready with a lecherous quip, he keeps a running diary of his darkest thoughts as you slice through a ragtag assortment of the Marvel universe’s B-tier baddies. His unabashed misogyny and incessant sexual jokes are puerile at best, but as disgusting as he can be, you can’t accuse him of being insincere. The jokes feel natural coming from his hidden lips. He’s the embod15

iment of extreme baditude, but instead of sounding like the cynical mind of someone in the marketing department, he instead mirrors the inane ramblings of a teenage boy. And even if your tastes clash with Deadpool’s, the sheer wealth of attempted humor means something should tickle your funny bone. Disliking cows because they’re only an “l” and an “n” away from being clowns might just be ridiculous enough to put a smile on your red-nose-hating face. Just because Deadpool enjoys talking nonstop does not mean that he confronts enemies with pacifism on the mind. The way out of any situation involves copious amounts of slicing and dicing, with the occasional shooting thrown in for good measure. Deadpool bounces around tightly constructed environments like he’s battling attention deficit disorder, knocking one enemy into the air and then delivering a whirling dervish to a group of would-be attackers before firing his plasma gun at a far-off sniper. It’s a screaming-fast confluence of steel and spandex, so fast that the camera often lags behind your actions. Throw in a magical teleportation move, and you spend as much time trying to get your bearings as you do unleashing hell on your dim-witted foes.

thankfully, fights are usually easy enough that you can dispatch the horde of attackers by just gleefully mashing the buttons. Your only defensive maneuver is the aforementioned teleport, so you whale away with your swords or guns and then vanish in a flash before you get your comeuppance. It’s a smart technique that sadly doesn’t always work because of finicky controls. Deadpool may not do what you want, when you want him to, so you wind up with a face full of fist instead of disappearing in a cloud to safety. Such unresponsiveness can lead to frustrating situations, but you can usually stay alive if you get even a little breathing room. Regenerating health is Deadpool’s most handy superpower, so you can get back up to full strength pretty easily if you keep one eye glued to your life bar. fights are fast and bloody affairs that urge you to mix up your attacks to earn the highest rewards from your downed attackers. Dropped currency can be used to purchase upgrades in the pause menu, giving you access to new weapons, handheld explosives, and a variety of character enhancements. It’s a system that urges you to experiment so you find the best weapons for your style (the slow and powerful hammers suit a different style than the fast but weak sais, for instance), and you unlock new techniques deep into the adventure. Because of the well-paced skill unlocks and the immediacy of the action, Deadpool is usually a pleasant enough, turn-off-your-brain kill-a-thon

It’s when the game tries to ramp up the challenge that things take a turn for the worse. When the game wants your back against the wall, it floods the screen with attackers. Deadpool may carry guns, but they’re clearly secondary to his melee attacks, so a few far-away gunners can sap away your life in a hurry. Couple the difficulty of aiming while in a jam with the limited ammunition, and you may find yourself out of long-range killing instruments in the middle of a fight. Dozens of enemies, of both the gun-toting and sword-swinging variety, may try to stop your beating heart, and it’s in the most hectic moments that the game becomes frustrating. Unkind checkpoints don’t do the game any favors, either. If you fall to the last enemy, you may have to carry out the prolonged encounter all over again, changing the simple fun into pure tedium.

Despite the combat flaws, Deadpool makes a valiant attempt at being entertaining. A few brief diversions from the core action add some much-needed variety to the unceasing killing. Nintendo’s most timeless franchises receive unexpected homages, and there’s even a brief turret sequence that delivers a silly take on this tired trope. Who would have thought a Sentinel’s detached shoe could be so fun? However, there are just too many flaws in the overarching mechanics to make this a consistently satisfying endeavor. Deadpool tries to hide its problems behind an exuberant personality, but all the talking in the world can’t smooth over some fundamental flaws.

SERIES REVIEW Santa Clarita Diet Santa Clarita Diet is a 10 part horror comedy on Netflix. It’s about a married couple who are severely tested when their normal existence is changed because the Mrs. turns into a zombie. The pretty lady is forever undead. Timothy Olyphant and Drew Barrymore play the married couple, Joel and Sheila. Their chemistry and comedic timing is flawless in Santa Clarita Diet. I’ve always liked Drew Barrymore, but I’ve never been convinced that she could act. In Santa Clarita Diet, she reached a peak performance moment and did everything very well. She was funny, gruesome, physical, motherly, loving, dangerous, moody, sexy and manic – all with a kind of natural grace I’ve never seen in her acting. Timothy Olyphant went from a happily married guy of some 25 years who smoked a little pot for excitement to a completely unraveled man prepared to do anything to save his wife and his life. He’s a genius at the comedic moments. Liv Hewson plays their teenaged daughter, Abby. Skyler Gisondo is Eric, the nerdy guy next door. Eric provides answers and helps Joel look for a cure. He’s also Abby’s friend and partner-in-crime on several adventures. Once Sheila joins the undead, the couple face a huge problem. Together. Much as she’d like to dine on chicken or beef, the only thing she can eat is human flesh. Fresh human flesh. Which means killing people. Yep, the nice realtors from the nice middle class neighborhood in Santa Clarita are suddenly in the business of looking for people who would be good candidates for the chest freezer and the giant smoothy-making blender. There is blood and guts and body parts. A lot. There is crude sexual humor. A lot. There is family, love, and loyalty. A lot. You’ve been warned. Santa Clarita Diet isn’t for everyone. I enjoyed it. A lot. I think Netflix has a winner here. This series squeezes a great many plot twists and guest characters into 10 episodes of 30 minutes 17

each. Some of the more important and interesting regulars are Richard T. Jones, Mary Elizabeth Ellis, Ricardo Chavira, and Joy Osmanski. Jones and Chavira play a cop and a deputy sheriff – one on either side of Joel and Sheila in their cozy cul de sac. Cops are everywhere. Little hard to sneak bodies out of the house under those conditions. By the end of season 1, Sheila is taking steps to protect her family from her unchecked appetites. There’s plenty of room for a season 2, which I hope will happen. Joel has a lead on a cure, or at least a way to put a hold on Sheila’s descent into zombieland. There were mentions of mothers and fathers and sisters who might be very funny to meet in season 2. Abby, the teenage daughter, is proving herself strong and capable and may be the one in the family who doesn’t fall apart under the stress. I’d like to see what they do with her character in a second season

NJPW WRESTLE KINGDOM 11 REVIEW The night began with #BigMike walking to the ring, looking like he was being forced at gunpoint. Billy Gunn, who was the fastest novelty to ever wear off in wrestling history last month at World Tag League, started things off with Elgin, and it was clear he wasn’t in a bumping mood. BONE SOLDIER was next, and watching Twitter reactions of casuals who had never seen him was one of the highlights of the bout. Turns out BONER MAN’s role on this night was to be tossed out by returning cult favorite Cheeeseburger for a big pop. 60-year old Kuniaki Kobayashi was a competent Yoshiaki Fujiawara replacement for the smarmy fan who likes to say things like “this old guy is better than the actual New Japan roster!”, except unlike Fujiwara, Kobayashi was able to move around pretty well and was actually decent. The rest of the usual New Japan veterans filled out the dance card, with the only other surprises being Hiro Saito (who has now been in all three Rambo’s) and Scott Norton, who looked exactly how you would picture 2016 Scott Norton. Norton murdered Ryusuke Taguchi with a powerbomb to score an elimination, before taking an over the top elimination at the hands of Elgin. Elgin dumped the final four men, which included a spirited exchange with Cheeseburger as the final two men remaining, to win the 2017 Rambo. My unofficial count (the camera work isn’t the best for this match) was five eliminations for Elgin, who was clearly booked as a monster here as a make

good for not being on the main card, presumably due to uncertainty about his face injury. These matches are like early Royal Rumbles where you can sort of sense they are learning how to book spots for them as the years move along. Bumped it up a star for the cool exchanges at the end between Elgin & ‘burger, and for being FUN. Order of elimination, as best I could tell: BONER (Cheeseburger), Gunn (Elgin), Kobayashi (Tiger Mask), Manabu Nakanishi (everyone), Jushin Thunder Liger (?), Tiger Mask (?), Yuji Nagata (Saito, Tenzan), Yoshitatsu (Nagata?), Taguchi (Norton), Saito (Elgin), Norton (Elgin), Tenzan (Elgin), Cheeseburger (Elgin) As expected (hinted at months ago, and later reported first by VOW thankyouverymuch), Tiger The Dark was ACH. He did a much better job at trying to avoid his signature stuff while also still pulling off hot moves. On the other hand, Kota Ibushi as Tiger Mask W is much less subtle, tossing in token Tiger Suplexes and such before basically running through the usual Ibushi playbook, which in this case included a springboard moonsault to the floor (more on that later) and finishing off his cartoon foe with the Last Ride powerbomb. Similar to Ibushi in his first match as Tiger Mask W, ACH seemed to be struggling with the bulky mask a little. The work here was clean, with just enough flipz and action to keep things interesting. Perfect for what it set out to be, and a decent enough opener. 18

They started things off with the Bucks teasing the old Honky Tonk Man taking a powder intentional count out spot. In this case, it’s to bait the opponents into running them down, and then ambush them, to set up their own cheap count out win. I hate this spot in New Japan because titles can change hands via count out. RPG Vice has no incentive to chase the Bucks down, because they win the titles if the Bucks walk away. You could argue RPG Vice are valiant babyfaces who want no part of a cheap win, but they are CHAOS members after all, not white meat territory babyfaces. Anyway, that’s a nit pick, because I ended up loving this match. This was the Bucks usual wacky spotfest style cluster (and I mean that in a good way) until Baretta did a flip dive over the top rope, completely missing everybody, landing flat on his back on the ramp with a sickening thud that echoed through the Dome, and then died. R.I.P. Trent. Baretta wasn’t really dead, but the spot was amazing, and it took him out of the rest of the match. This left Rocky to fight alone, which led to a payoff of an ongoing storyline, and took this match over the top from being a run of the mill junior tag prelim to something special. For a good chunk of 2016, Romero had lost his groove, with Baretta carrying the team. Baretta was winning all of the falls, Rocky was losing all of the falls, and Baretta was very displeased. It looked like the paint-by-numbers setup for tag team breakup, until Roppongi rallied to win the Super Juniors Tag Tournament. Rocky figured this was the cure to their problems, but Trent was still side eyeing him. Back to the match. With Baretta dead, Rocky had to figure out how to beat the Bucks (who were the perfect cocky asshole foils for the story) on his own. The Bucks picked him apart, and in a great spot that I bought as the finish, they quickly snuffed out Rocky’s

perfectly timed fighting spirit fire up with a double superkick that Romero was barely able to kick out of. With the Bucks in total control and on the verge of hitting the match ending More Bang For Your Buck, Rocky schoolboy’d Nick to win the match Rocky’s performance, in both his raw work and in getting over the story with just the right doses drawing sympathy and showing fire, was elite tier. It was beyond refreshing to not only see a standard two vs two junior tag title match, but one that was built around a long term storyline and real payoff. I could’t tell you the details of any of the previous Wrestle Kingdom junior tag title multi-team clusters, but I’ll remember this match for a long time. I loved all of this. **** It looks like “cramming all of the leftovers onto the Wrestle Kingdom show” is yet another function of the trios titles, in addition to giving select undercard guys a purpose and adding juice to the mid card of random Destruction shows. This was an uneven but mostly entertaining bout, highlighted early by Will Ospreay’s hot sequence with Hangman Page, and highlighted late by Team Unexplainable Chemistry (my unofficial name for Koji, Ricochet, and Finlay) tearing the house down at the finish. Bullet Club may as well not have existed if not for the Ospreay/Page sequence. Yujiro pinned Jado to eliminate CHAOS, and was submitted by SANADA moments later, but was otherwise barely more useful than the invisible Bad Luck Fale. TUC hit the ring and business picked up. Kojima was a house of fire (especially in the closing stretch) and the most over person on the entire show to this point. Ricochet (and Finlay!) flew around like maniacs. This was largely an enormous waste of a lot of talented people, and I still think it was a mistake not booking the hottest singles match on Earth on your biggest show (Ospreay vs Ricochet), but despite a dull few minutes during the middle portion of the bout, this was a perfectly enjoyable prelim match. This played out exactly how I figured it would, with Juice working incredibly hard and putting in an excellent performance in all facets, from showing fire, to working the crowd, to offensive execution (including tremendous striking), and as always, his top notch bumping and selling. Cody held up his end just fine, with clean work and some real good heel mannerisms. The psychology here was sound. Cody was cocky, Juice was the fiery upstart trying to win the biggest match of his life. Cody rolled through a high cross

body and used the American Nightmare, which was a key spot, because even though Juice made the ropes, it weakened his leg and ultimately cost him the match. Juice fought back from a Disaster Kick (delivered on the apron) and elevated DDT, but he lost Cody on a powerbomb attempt due to his injured leg. Cody hit the Cross Rhodes, and that was that. Simple, tight work, and good basic psychology. I probably liked this more than most. A really good Very similar to the previous match, in that it featured good clean work and very sound psychology, with the added benefit of a backstory. The problem was that despite working with passion and conveying genuine hate, the live crowd had no feel for the history between the two and failed to respond accordingly. It wasn’t for lack of effort from either man, particularly O’Reilly, whose pinpoint strikes in particular had real snap behind them. Cole’s perfromance was similar to Cody in the previous match, as he more than held up his end by bringing good heel work to the table that may have worked better in a smaller room, and which definitely would have worked better in front of fans who understood the dynamic between the two men. These guys were in a tough spot. Had the match gotten over, this would have been very similar to a hot 10:00G1 undercard match that comes in around 4-stars. As it was, the subdued crowd sapped some of the excitement and took this down a notch. With the ring mic seemingly set on max, we were treated to the most uncouth trash talk in wrestling history. We were also treated to the uncouth intrusion of Toru Yano in what would have otherwise been a great match. This match was frustrating. The annoying inclusion of Yano & Ishii proved to be just that, as GBH and GoD worked incredibly hard and put together a match very similar to their great World Tag League final (which was one of the best tag matches in the world in 2016), ruined every few minutes when we were reminded that Yano & Ishii were a part of it. It was utterly amazing, actually. Yano would disappear for long stretches of time, the match would kick into high gear, and he’d pop back up to kill the momentum. The finish was a fitting, final, non-verbal FUCK YOU, with Yano slipping under the ropes to steal the pin, which fits his gimmick and fits the story, but just because you tell a coherent story doesn’t mean I have to like it. The GBH & GoD stuff was a continuation of the ugly-in-all-of-the-right-ways brutality of the WTL match, but this was a complete waste of Ishii, and Yano’s presence was like casting

Pauly Shore as the comic relief in a Martin Scorsese movie. Picture Shore popping up every 20 minutes or so in Goodfellas, right in the middle of the most intense scenes, to say “Hey Buuuuuu-dy!” to a confused Henry Hill, and that’s what we had here. This could have been really great This began the run of four consecutive incredible matches where I’m going to have a hard time conveying just how great this two hours plus of wrestling truly was. All four matches were vastly different, yet great in their own way. The junior title match was the heated sprint, which played right into the insane style of Hiromu Takahashi.

Takahashi returning from excursion is every bit the same dynamic as a free agent like AJ Styles or Kota Ibushi or Kenny Omega jumping to the company would be in terms of adding a top class elite pro wrestler to the roster. If you followed his excursion, particularly his long stop in CMLL, you already know he’s one of the world’s best. Now everybody else does too. This was very similar in pace and recklessness to Takahashi’s incredible bouts against Dragon Lee, with KUSHIDA’s arm submission flavor in place of Lee’s dynamic brand of lucha. Some of the spots were outright dangerous, and not just the masochistic body sacrifice that has become commonplace in a Takahashi match. Takahashi attempted a rana off the top rope along the edge of the ropes which was intended to throw KUSHIDA to the floor, but they screwed it up and collapsed to the mat. No problem, no panic. Hiromu kicked KUSHIDA to the floor, climbed up to the top, and flew off with what was supposed to be senton (I think), but ended up being an awkward flying clothesline as he crashed ass first to the floor. It was that kind of match, but these random bouts of aggressive sloppiness worked, because like a modern day Sabu or current day Sasha Banks, Takahashi is a fucking madman and it actually helps that his shit doesn’t look clean. 20

Exhibit B. Hiromu flies off the apron to the floor, attempting to do only God knows what, but KUSHIDA somehow catches him mid air and transitions into a cross arm breaker as they hit the floor. I have no idea if this was what they intended to do, because I think Hiromu just leaves his feet without a plan and decides what to do while in the air. In the middle of all of this, KUSHIDA had the fucking audacity to work over the arm to add psychology to this beautiful mess. When this was over, I openly questioned whether and of the three remaining matches could possibly top it. Welp If the previous match was the heated sprint, this was the best possible uber macho NEVER style fight. About ten minutes in, after some shockingly nifty mat work and some teases of mass violence, I thought to myself, this is really good, but it’s time to start hitting each other ridiculously hard, defiantly pop up from some bombs, and stubbornly no sell until one of them has no choice in the matter because they die.

As for Shibata, this loss felt a lot like Kenny Omega’s loss to KUSHIDA last year. You get the sense that this is one of those situations where you have to lose to move forward. I have a feeling the NEVER days will now be behind him, as the next steps in his elevation occur over the course of 2017 We’re entering exciting new territory with our old Ace. A new theme (which stinks and isn’t going to grow on me) and a stubborn refusal to accept that he’s lost a step with a hokey (subconsciously) manufactured bravado to go along with it. The story here is he’s good enough to be competent and beat most of these dudes, but at the age of 40 he’s not quite good enough to beat the top 1%. It’s a hard reality to accept, but we all know a guy like this, and he

Right on cue. These matches aren’t for everyone, but unless you’re uncomfortable with stiff, excessive violence in your graps, I’ve always had a hard time understanding what’s not to like about two ultra tough, excessively masculine to a fault, more-pride-than-brains ass kickers beating the living shit out of each other until one man can no longer stand and/or isn’t breathing. This is the one style of wrestling that I would think would have near universal appeal. It’s the best elements of street fight nastiness combined with shoot style violence with the added bonus of worked dramatics. It’s 100% business, 0% bullshit. And I fucking love it. This was Goto’s match. Not only because he won, but because it was one of those days where he puts it all together and looks like one of the best wrestlers on the planet. I’ve always loved his offense because it looks like it would actually kill you. It’s the nastiest looking stuff in wrestling, and after the Ushigoroshi/Shouten combo wasn’t enough, he added a new wrinkles here, busting out a reverse GTR that crushed Shibata’s throat over his knee, followed by an academic “because I can, m’fer” standard issue GTR to finish Shibata for good. Never has kayfabe been conflated with reality to produce a shittier narrative than “Goto sucks!”. Hirooki Goto, especially when he has nights like this, is as good as anyone. 21

probably has a new Corvette in the driveway and girlfriend who’s about five years too young for him. Corvette’s haven’t been hip in a long time, and neither is the goofy remixed version of “High Energy”. Like the Corvette, the lyrics “Go Ace!” reek of overcompensation. Like he’s trying to convince himself. I knew Tanahashi was losing the moment he was hamming it up in the prematch. He’s playing this role to the tilt, a man who deep down can’t convince himself he’s really the Ace, so he tries desperately to convince everyone else. Naito wasn’t buying it. Naito’s chest pund and bow after putting Tanahashi away felt like he was saying “you showed heart, you did good”, like when a son finally beats his dad at backyard hoops but feels oddly awkward about it, so he goes overboard in no selling his own victory and putting over how well the old man played. And make no mistake, Tanahashi played well, and his top game can still put away the SANADA’s and EVIL’s and just about everybody else, but it isn’t quite good enough for the Naito’s and Okada’s.

ing over cutting a few minutes off of something that was already great the way it was, and it occurred to me how stupid that would be. It would be like dumping your hot girlfriend because her sister is ugly.

The match itself exemplified this, as it was worked even, worked in a mirror. They both attacked the leg. They split the offense 50/50. One guy is in his prime, the other just a little bit past it. The junior match was the The Sprint. The NEVER match was The FIGHT. This was The Story This was The Spectacle. I’m not going to call this match the greatest of all time, but I do think what Omega (and Okada) produced might have been the best possible example of the modern New Japan style match. Omega was flawless in this match. Let’s get that out of the way. There was no aspect of this performance that was not perfect. His execution, his persistence in attacking Okada’s back, his insane bumps (and his routine yet gorgeous bumps), his selling, his emoting, his fire, his balance, his pace, his stamina, his presence, his effort, his guts, his will. This was a pantheon effort. He sold, he fought, he took insane risks, and he left nothing in the ring. He completely emptied the tank and there was nothing left to give. I’d argue his effort on this night against the effort of any wrestler, in any match, ever. Okada, even with all of his accolades, is perhaps the most underappreciated, unheralded wrestler today, still maligned by some who refuse to let go of a dead era and by others who somehow can’t see his greatness. He has not only inherited the Ace role from Tanahashi, but also his big match track record. Work with the best, learn from the best.

This match is so good, that it fools you into thinking it’s going to end before they reach second gear. You think it’s over when Toryumon Okada contorts himself and slips out of the One Winged Angel and hits the Rainmaker. But Kenny kicks out. Kenny kicks out of the Rainmaker! Okada hits three or four or five more before I lose count. Only Tanahashi survives that kind of assault. You’re fooled into thinking the match is going to a draw when it creeps up on 40 minutes. Eventually I stopped looking for the end because I was tired of being wrong. This match breaks every rule and pushes every limit. It’s like nothing you’ve seen before. You realize towards the back end of the bout that the crazy dives and table crashes and insane spots were actually the meat of the match, the setup to the pure lunacy that followed. This match could have ended a half dozen different times and still been great, but every time it didn’t, it just kept getting better. The pacing of the escalation was the best I’ve ever seen. It was thick with callbacks and subtle nods. An exhausted Okada holding on to Omega’s wrist. Omega doing a springboard moonsault to the floor, the same one that Kota Ibushi did five hours earlier. Omega’s Bome Ye’s that he stole from Nakamura when he beat him 364 days earlier. Omega eventually fell, but they left the door cracked open. He survived against Okada in a way that only Tanahashi had before. He was never able to hit the One Winged Angel. We still don’t know if Okada could have withstood it. The work was perfect, the drama was intense, the action was insane. The loser was elevated in defeat. The match ticked every box and delivered on every level. I have zero doubt that Kenny Omega, the most driven man in wrestling, the insane genius, the perfect, beautiful enigma, in the biggest match of his life, in the moment he waited his entire career for, was bound and determined to produce the greatest pro wrestling match of all time.

This match went 47 minutes. I initially thought they could have shaved about 15. On rewatch, I decided it was closer to five. To shave more would have forced them to up the pace, because most of the early work plenty to the match later. But that deliberate pace early set up the frantic, insane, unreal pace on the back end. I wouldn’t want to lose that important dichotomy. Eventually it hit me that I was obsess22

REAPER

magazine

want to advertise in reaper magazine? contact us at xreapereventsx@gmail.com for more information.