Healing from past lovers

Healing from Past Lovers

Article REBECCA-LEE \\ PART I

Being in an intimate relationship is one of the fastest ways we can grow by learning about ourselves if we step on the path consciously. Intimate relationships can be our greatest sources of joy and love, and some of the most common sources of pain and heartache. In all of that, they certainly bring the opportunity to see ourselves deeply, as different people and relationships bring out different parts of who we are.

There is no denying that going through a breakup can be one of the most hardest things any of us ever have to work through. Our partners hold so much opportunity for us to learn, grow and ultimately understand ourselves on a much deeper level. We would also hope that as we grow through our relationship’s experiences that we develop more of a capacity to hold ourselves and another in deeper levels of love, respect, compassion, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness.

When we move into relationship we enter into a soul contract with one another that will open a door to one or all of the following – • Provide a mirror for ourselves to become aware of aspects of ourselves that are in our shadow, or buried in the subconscious part of our psyche. I often refer to this as our karmic patterns as these can be deep soul wounds that we are attempting to heal and transcend. In relationship, there is an opportunity to see parts of ourselves that need to be seen, explored, and maybe even healed; • When we marry someone most people never consider that you are not just marrying the person, but you are entering into a whole new family system; and so is your partner. On an energetic and soul level that family system comes with a resonance or ‘vibration’ that your family system is seeking to integrate, compensate, reconcile or to see something within your own system that only this partner’s system could bring out.

No matter what has been your relationship history, it is important to know that everyone that comes into your life was for some kind of reason that your Soul wanted or needed to work through its own karmic patterns and to heal on a personal or even a family or ancestral level. In this, your partners have been the right ones for you at the time, for the level of consciousness you were when you were with them. Within every relationship there is something for you to learn. You may be conscious of this during the relationship, and for others who are doing their deep conscious personal work, will become aware of that learning after the relationship is over. However it happens, it is important to understand that in order to move forward in love and relationship you must honour and respect where you have been and the people you have been with. Take the learning and the growth that was there for you. In doing so you give yourself every chance to not go there again and you move forward through your karmic patterns and propensities. You will vibrate higher because you are learning and growing through your experiences and you are not carrying around negative energies such as anger, bitterness, revenge, spite and everything else we may feel. You have peace in your heart and you are free to move forward into a different energy/a higher vibration of love. I understand past abusive relationships can be more challenging. Remember, even through the trauma there is something we can learn from our experiences, including loving ourselves more, feeling more worthy of better partners and even seeing red flags earlier and staying away. There is always something!!!

In order to vibrate at higher frequencies and therefore attract better love experiences, it is important that you take responsibility for your part in things in the past and integrate the lessons the relationship brought to you. Blaming will not get you there. Being responsible for your part will. Anything unresolved will always follow you into future relationships.

Look out for my article in the next edition where I will show you how you can integrate the learnings of the ex and move on.

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