Lynda Monopoli Lighting up the journey of menopause

Lighting up the Journey of Menopause

ARTICLE LYNDA MONOPOLI

It seems we are joyful over becoming a ‘woman’ when menstruation finally graces us (or our mothers are!). We admire and celebrate the changes in our external body, however for a lot of girls, the internal state isn’t really discussed positively, accepted or celebrated.

In place, we often hear phrases like, “Periods are disgusting”, “Gotta love the pain and mess of periods” or “Can’t wait until I never have to have a period again”. The focus is removed from the miracles taking place inside and replaced with the aesthetic changes on the outside, like “My boobs are too small, my hips are too big” etc, or simply “How pleasing we are to potential partners”.

Then we celebrate becoming pregnant with gender reveals, baby showers and the birth itself. We want the world to know of our upcoming birth, sharing the love with all, as it should be, creation of life is indeed a miracle. Then in a blink of an eye, the fertile phase of our life is coming to a close and all is silent (just the sound of crickets), no love being shared here. There doesn’t seem to be celebrations or conversations about this phase. It’s like some dark secret that is forbidden or too embarrassing to discuss.

Before we know it, our body starts changing, we don’t feel the same anymore, and we put all these ‘things’ down to ageing because frankly, women seem to be in the dark about menopause. Some women experience so many symptoms and have in fact started peri-menopause and have no idea until it seems like a tidal wave has hit them and feel like they are going mad. If they are lucky, their doctor might have a clue and have a conversation about these changes, perhaps even suggest some ways that may support their journey. However, general consensus from the women I have spoken to, they feel that HRT is the only option available to them, and if you are not sure that’s the road you want to travel, then you are on your own. Google becomes your best friend and the expensive journey of trial and error starts.

This journey called menopause can be a very lonely, isolating and expensive one. Many generations gone by, women used to gather to discuss ‘women’s business’, to offer support, and herbal remedies. Women were actually celebrated when they transitioned into their ‘crone’ phase (I like to call it the goddess phase) because of the wisdom they had accumulated throughout their lives that can now be shared with the rest of the tribe. The goddesses shared their wisdom and passed it down to the younger generations so women knew what was happening to their bodies throughout their life cycles. There were ceremonies and celebrations for these phases, not silence and ignorance. Unfortunately, the silence has left women illprepared, without knowledge and left floundering through these transitions.

It’s time to light up the darker unspoken side of menopause. Embrace and acknowledge what an amazing job our body has done all these years. Change the negative ideology handed down to us from generations past. This is life, not some dirty little secret we don’t talk about especially in front of men. God forbid they know what we are going through and even worse, help and support us. Ladies… let’s light the way, be the beacon, the wayshowers for our next generation of men and women. Change starts with you, not someone else. Start having the so-called ‘uncomfortable’ conversations with your sons and daughters. Do it often enough that it becomes the norm. Talk to other women, get together to share the love and wisdom, not trauma bonding over how terrible it all is… we already know how hard it can be. We need to gather with the intent to support, heal and share our knowledge and embrace the goddess that we are.

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